Watch What Crappens - RHOA: Wreck It Ralph

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Ralph and Drew's marriage is a gaslight-y, love bomb-y mess on this week's Real Housewives of Atlanta, and we find out that Todd has a not so secret pad in New Jersey. On a bright note, Marlo learns what homecoming is. This week's bonus is a recap of Top Chef. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Croppings! The podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on you, bros. I'm Ronnie, that's been over there, happy in. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

I'm good, how are you doing? I'm great, I'm excited to dive into Monday. Oh yeah. A little emotional abuse Monday with real housewives of Atlanta. Sometimes. Thanks for joining us everybody. Tonight is take a seat. That's our live show over on Spotify Live. It's an app. You can get it. It's free. Basically, we just talk about Bravo Goss, whatever we feel like, really, whatever you feel like,

because you're pretty much in charge of that night. You come there, you talk to each other, you talk to us. We bring you up for about a minute to tell us who needs to take seat. That's the fun one. It's every Monday night. It's at 7 p.m. Pacific and 10 p.m. Eastern. So join us, won't you?

So that's the Mondays days and then we do videos, a couple video recaps every week. So we'll be doing that this week, of course. We're going to be doing a real housewives Beverly Hills premiere recap video, which is going to be super fun. And probably a jersey. I don't know. We haven't decided the other one yet. But those are both on Patreon, Crappens on demand, as well as our bonus episodes. This week, Top Chef is moved to bonus. So check it out there. Top Chef in space! Yeah, that's going to be a really good one to do.

I'm already excited to do that recap, but first before we even get to that, we got Real Housewives of Atlanta for a second episode of the season. Yeah, here we go. All aboard. I thought you were going to say something else. I was like, I didn't know. I just I brought you to the cliff. And then I said, good luck. Just start that cliff. All aboard the gas light express is the episode titled today. Was that what the name of the episode? Yeah. Bravo. That's very funny. Because

it's 100% true. By the way, we didn't, last week, I don't think we spoke about the taglines on Atlanta. So I wrote them down this time. Did you write them down by any chance? Because if not, what do you think I'm gonna go to my homework? Course I wrote them down. So we start with Candy, who says, I ain't never skipped a beat or a bag.

I mean, okay, the candy's just like, I'm rich and I work a lot. You know, that's hers. I know, that's basically what it is. I'm saying I'm rich, I work a lot. What else do you need to know? Yeah, I'm then Drew. I keep you on the edges of your seat.

Okay, you know what? Imagine having your intro line being about a hair transplant surgery. Like, is that really what you wanna go with? Also, it's like a word play on a lot. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that is actually what she would go with plugs. She's plugging everything she can right now.

But like, she would have a lie as, like, I keep you on the edges of your seat. You literally do not keep us, even if it was just the edge of our seat, you do not keep us. Like, it was just the edge of our seat, you do not keep us. Like literally the least suspenseful thing in life is wondering what Drucidora is ever up to. We don't even care about your edges.

Okay. Your edges don't even keep us on the edge of our seats. You're like a big open field. We don't, there may be edges, we don't know, we don't care, we're in a field. Marlow. Marlow's really, I think so. Marlo is really into it this year.

She's giving it her all with everything. She's like, oh, I've always had the juice, but now I got the pee. Okay, okay. You know, congratulations. She's like a, she's like a hipster during the height of COVID who's like, you know, I've always liked peach juice But now I'm just thought I'm gonna grow peaches to make my own peach juice and my living room without her ponnets Yeah, and then Ken yeah, she goes you're always living in the moment when you are the moment when you are the moment. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha be holding a giant book of spells. It sounds very much like a magic spell from a musical. Spring, summer, September, I'm the one you always remember.

She throws something at the floor and smoke comes up and transforms into some other thing. Yes. I like that she follows Kenya up with another timeline. Kenya is like, I am a moment and she's like, time doesn't matter. I'm like, wow, you're even shady to Kenya in your lines without really knowing it, you know? Yeah. And then Sonia's like, I may be a rookie,

but this isn't my first race, which, well, I think that's a pretty good opening line. I'm happy for Sonia, but I think I'm also predisposed to liking most things she does because I instantly loved her right off the bat. So, well, look, I know she hasn't been off for Sonia, but I think I'm also predisposed to liking most things she does, because I instantly loved her right off the bat. So look, I know she hasn't been off for very long, but I need her tagline to be about patties because I know it's already a fight that I'm never going to forget. It's like

burned into my brain already. It was I was cracking up, like we're just starting with a patty forward discussion like I was like this is this is everything I need. Yes. So speaking of, we start with Sonja. And she's just gotten her pots delivered from some place. And so she's showing off her pots to her mom. And her mom's like, well, beyond pot, we brought some jerks off from Jamaica.

And her sister Sherry's there now. We haven't met yet. I'm sorry. Sherry and the mom are not having each other in a very loving way, which I could really, you know, I loved, I relate to that. Yeah, by the way, I just wanna say, I don't wanna gloss over Sonia's excitement

about the pot set because like, that to me was so real, because I think we've all had some form of the pot set because like that to me was so real because I think we've all had Some form of a pot set that's arrived And we've gotten also excited like when she went like running to her foyer be like my pot set my pot set is here I was like oh I get and she's unpacking and there was like ladles and there was like spaghetti spoons and different pots I was like spaghetti spoons and different pots. I was like, I understand her joy right now, like on a deep level. And I just don't want that to get lost in our recap. Well, I think that her joy was fake

because we find out that she doesn't really cook. I'm like, no, when they're really cooks a lot, they always order in. And I thought that that was so telling because she, this part was telling when she's like, I got my prosthetic. I'm so excited. And then she holds up her favorite one.

And it's a little individual frying pan. Everybody with the pot set knows that is some bullshit. Okay. No one likes those. I don't care. And look, we're going to get people saying, I love them. I use mine. No, you don't.

You don't love it. And if you're using it, you're forcing yourself to because you're telling yourself, it's small enough to clean quickly. Those are not, those are the uh, pan in the set. I have to say, very, very important in the tiny pan. I'm very fortunate that my pots that never had one of those. So I never had to live in that frustration. Although I've seen those at the store, it's like, um, you know, how like, uh, lodge, who makes the cast iron skillet, has like a tiny cast iron skillet like that.

And I'm like, what the fuck is that for? You're gonna like, like, sear like a bite of meat. So I do get why they're annoying, but I feel like with a pot set, it's not about like, whether or not you cook. It's about the promise of cooking. It's about the promise that there will be food or that there might be like a renaissance in your kitchen.

I think getting a new pot sets very exciting, even with a stupid, stupid tiny little pan. Well, I have better miss that I project onto the tiny pan because the tiny pan is one of those things that people who are married, who disapprove of you never dating, they always say to you, why don't you buy one of those tiny panes? They make just one egg. You know, it's like this judgmental, it's concern trolling from people. They always say to you, why don't you buy one of those tiny pants? They make just one egg. You know, it's like this judgmental, it's concern trolling from people. You know, when people act like they're concerned, but they're really trolling your ass, that's

what those tiny pants are. I mean, that's all I see is, you know, a family member like, wow, have you ever thought of a tiny band? I love my first ass support your loneliness with tiny pants. And you're like, oh, just dying of fire. So that's what I think of when I see those tiny pants. Okay, there's a whole show on to it. I know.

I just want to say, my final statement is that I don't think a pan has to get smaller than an eight inch on a pan. That's what I'm going to say. That's as small as you need to go. Yeah, I mean, if you're making an egg in a tiny pan, it naturally comes out as a circle. It feels like a cheat. Like if I'm making an egg, I want to use a big pan so people can be like, wow, this egg naturally splattered all over the place, but you still made it a circle.

How? How? How? How? And I can say, well, I have extra time because I'm single and I don't waste my time with husbands. That's how. And then it turns it around to where I have a pride well, I have extra time because I'm single and I don't waste my time with husbands. That's how. And then it turns it around to where I have a pride again, you know. And then as you show them, you're perfectly circular on what you say spring, summer, September.

I'm the one you always remember. And then you disappear in a cotton. I'm like, oh my God, my husband would love this. I'm going to send him a picture of it. God, damage. So anyway, anyway, thank you for joining us today. This is the fun, this is the fun egg pan discussion.

Well, this podcast is going to get panned by the critics. Oh, so anyway, there's nine people living in this house. So there's Sonia, there's Ross, her husband.

Well, her husband's name is, I think Aaron, but as, as last name is Ross, there's Ross, her husband. Well, her husband's name is, I think Aaron, but as last name is Ross, but they all call him Ross. So there's Ross. I left a ear so hung up on that. Like, have you never been to the South? That's, that's, hey, hey, Carol. Well, I guess it doesn't happen a lot to me.

No, but I have been in a fraternity, so I get it, you know. Everything is like Mandelker. So then, so there's, Sonia, there's Ross, there's, there's Sun, Duce, there's the mom and the dad. Now there's Sherry, the sister, Sherry's husband, and there are two kids. So they are just like working on building their sitcom as they speak. Yeah, they really are. Yeah. And she's got the whole like it takes a village thing, you know, because she wants her family to stay because they help so much with them. You better pay me taxes stay cause they help so much with you better pay me taxes.

If you're my village, you better pay me some fucking taxes. I'm telling you that because I don't even get to use this tiny pan anymore. Okay. It's too many of you. I'll be in here online. We use this tiny pan. So you think it's just going to be like a generic, you know, a generic family scene where there's like stupid sort of banter and it's like,

huh, wackiness, aren't we a wacky clan, you know? And it sort of starts off that way because you got the pan set and everything. And then Sonia says, like, oh, I want a patty, okay, because her mom's like going into the fridge or she's going, she, her mom is holding a patty, she's going to like the microwave or the Toaster oven or something like that. So Sonia wants a patty she's going to like the microwave or the toaster oven or something like that. So Sanya wants a patty and all of a sudden we'd like break into patty gate 2022. Yes and I really love that Sanya breaks or Sanya. So I don't know why I say Sanya. I think it is Tanya because I used to say Tanya which was wrong it was Tanya and so I see

Sanya spelled like Tanya and I'm like well it's Tanya but no it's Sanya. Yeah and I don't want to feel like Kenya, you know. So sorry, that's just a mistake. Sonia. So she was like going to say about her. Hatties. Oh, God damn it. Before I got name fucked, what was I going to say? Oh, I like that she breaks out in a really thick accent whenever she's arguing or excited.

Yeah. Her regular line is like, you know, my sister's my hair stylist, my mother's managing me and having them in advance is everything. Mom, where the patty mom? I need the patty. I love it. I like a mega breakfast. Make an act of all wonky. I mean, we have terrible, I'm not even going to try for a proper one, but yeah, it was cracking me up. She's like, wait a patty I haven't eaten the one patty. Where the patty at? And her mom is like, don't fuck with me. I'm like her mom's like, I brought these patties here. Okay I get to or I earn the patty tax. Okay, so if you're like if you're gonna talk to me about patties

I get a patty every time you talk about patties because I hauled these things her mom is not in any mood to me about patties, I get a patty every time you talk about patties, because I hauled these things. Her mom is not in any mood to talk about patties. She's so funny, and she's so dramatic. You know, she's like, I don't want to be scrutinized, I don't want to be asked questions, and I don't want to be told what to do. And this sister's like, what, what, what are you going off about? Like, what do you even mad at? And she's like, they didn't need to be a patty conversation. I know, she's like, I know, she's not, I just like, it's not to my fault.

You ate the party for breakfast. This is dad is so relaxed. So, everyone has their own box of patties. So there's a lot of concern that people are going to other people's boxes of patties. Yeah, but it is that thing. I mean, I'm team Sonya here because it is that thing where it's like, oh, look, I brought all the patties

and then I ate them all. You know, it's like me bringing Girl Scout Cook. I didn't bring those Girl Scout Cookies for you. We all know I bought a carton of that shit for myself, you know? And I'm like, look, everybody I brought Girl Scout Cookies. And then you try and find a thin mint and you can't, you know, but I'm burping up chocolate mint over there in the corner. So then, so then, yeah, so the mom is like, she's like, I don't want to be screwed

in nice and all that stuff. And then Sherry's like, I don't have no problems with you guys and the mom is like well I just know that I take a patty and everyone's like the patty is the patty is the patty is. And so this is on you it's like well listen if we say one thing you don't have to take this huge offense to it like you're too mad for this for this conversation right and the mom's like okay well next time I don't bring the patty, then that's it. I know, she's going with old.

She's going to steal a booth of patties. She's like, look at me getting off. We're holding patties. I like that we're making her like an Irish lady. Fine, next time I don't bring the patty, we'll see how you're dealing with it. I'm sorry, blow deck selling out is in season. So unfortunately my dominant accent is Irish cartoon Irish at the most so I was Beverly Hills, Doreet and Doreet doesn't even have an Irish accent in real life.

I don't know how this show. So, no, we're gonna be like, chop at the morning to your car. Cool! What have you done with Mipattis? like, top of the morning to your car. Oh, cool. Cool. What have you done with mepaches? We just have the mom talk like to read. That would be fun. So then, Sherry, the sister is like, you know, it's been nice being here, but it's just not my normal yet, you know, because I just went from being a mom at my own home with my own space with my own

space. And the mom's like, well, wasn't that total of us? You know, like, you're the only not the only one. And she's like, but she asked me how I'm feeling, mother. Okay. And that's why I answered with my feelings. And she's like, Oh, yes, you're the only one without your own space. Look at you. I know, I love the mom just like not letting her daughter try to have this reality TV moment of it's just hard She's like oh it's hard for all of us So good that's not really good casting. Oh my god. I love her. I wish there was more of her in this episode So then we go to our first visit to Shatto Shire of the season. We had some like echoey

echoey Flashbacks of Cherey. Oh, by the way, just as a shout out, in case you missed it, last week we had a really super fun episode with Carlos King. So if you missed it, it's on our feeds. So if you're like, you know, we talk a lot about Atlanta and other housewives, but that's, I thought of it because he loves Cherey and Cherey was on his show recently.

So go check that out if you missed it. But anyway, we are here in Chateau Chere and the music is like all fancy, like Chateau Shere and then it cuts to her putting out like some really shitty, you know, bakery-eil treats from the grocery store. Like this is not from a fancy bakery. This is the thing that's like next to the display of Entomans. And hey, by the way, if someone puts out a display of Entomans for me, I'm very happy with it.

But I just love it. I was gonna say I'm over here. My neck is all my head is all the way back on my neck right now. Well, either way, it was just like funny. It was like the like the Shreya, her fancy shadow Shreya and then just putting out like some generic donut holes. Well, it's even better because it's for Kenya because she's like, mom, Kenya's coming over

and Thomas says, oh, can you eat sweet? She says, nope, she's skinny as hell right now. She's not eating anything. Yeah. And that's the person that you put the croissants out for, you know? Well, that's my old trick, by the way, which is like, I put out a spread that I'm not making it for me. I'm making it for someone else because, you know, I'm having company over and people

take two bites and then, oh, no, I have leftovers. I guess I got to eat this. I don't want to waste anything. Yeah. And you feel less guilty because the croissant has been sitting out. So it's like, well, it's just going to waste. So Kenya comes over and they go down to the basement and laugh because of course they got in a huge fight when this basement was unfinished and Kenya snuck down there.

And she raised like, Kenya hasn't been in my basement since bitch went creeping during my housewarming. And we see that clip which is classic. And so she can't wait to show this bitch her basement. So they go down and Kenya is in on being nice mode. So she's like, I love it. It's so comfy. Yeah, Sheree has done that thing where she's made like a club in her basement. And I just don't understand this concept because we see this a lot in unlike reality TV or like in mansions where people are like, Oh yeah, and then basement, there's a club.

I'm like, who's going clubbing in your basement? I don't understand this concept. Is this just what you do if you're just away from a city and you're just like, you just wanna spice it up for when friends come over? Cause I understand a big comfy basement with a big TV and all sorts of fun stuff, but actually setting up a club in the basement,

I just don't get it. I mean, they had couches, so that works for me, call it whatever you need to. There's couches in the TV and another kitchen, so do what you got. It's like a marriage medicine when Cecil has this little bar in his basement,

you know, it's like Cecil's bar. That's what it reminds me of. Yeah, the man bar, the man cave, or whatever they got. So let's see, why do they have full windows in this basement? That's my question. Yeah, the man bar the man the man cave or whatever they got so Let's see why do they have full windows in this basement? That's my question. Is it still a basement if it's not in the basement? Yeah, I feel like it's one of those things where like one half use one half the basement sort of baseman E because it's like in the it's like a hillside probably right? Oh, like one half is like in the hill and then the other half is like there's windows surprise

All right, okay, but I loved it. I was like, love the sunlight in your basement, which is about weird to say. So they start, you know, talking and of the charay is saying how happy can you look and she does really. And I think it's thinness too, because Kenya has been great shape because of dancing with the stars and stuff. And I think when you're, I know that if I lose two pounds, people are like, Ronny, are you happy? I'm like, no, I'm miserable.

I've lost two pounds, you know? I mean, when I'm really happy, people think I'm angry, you know? When I'm happy and fat, I mean, when I'm unhappy, I'm fat. Okay, that's when I'm really happy. When I'm thinner, that's when there's some misery in my life. But, you know, people just want to say something.

So they say, oh my God, you look so happy. Yeah. So Kenya is starting to, she's trying to stir up some shit. So she's like asking Sheree what she thinks about the gal, what she thought about Marlowe's gal and everything. And Sheree is like, I could warn my joggers. Huh, I could've warn my joggers. I mean, she started about the gal, what she thought about Marlos Gala and everything. And she's like, I could wear my joggers. Huh, I could wear my joggers. I mean, she started talking about how when you first got there, you lived in an apartment

with a white fridge. And Kenya's like, well, what's wrong with a white refrigerator? At least I could pay my rent. What else did she have to say? By the way, you know that Kenya would be the first one to shade someone with a white refrigerator. If she didn't already have a white refrigerator in her past. Yes.

And so Ray is like, well, you had to rent somebody's range over Lisa. Ray, Lisa Ray. And she's like, I don't even know Lisa Ray. Well, I mean, I do because she's famous, but I don't know where like enough to take a Range Rover. And then we see pictures of her and Lisa Ray. And she's like, well, I think I'm just under I think I miss her. So let's go. So they do. They face timer. And she's like, well, I think I'm just under, I think I'm just heard.

So let's go somewhere. So they do. They face timer. And they ask her what Marlowe was saying. And so on, she's like, white refrigerator, somebody else's townhouse. It's kind of all I'm remembering right now. The rest is all patty to me. Okay.

She's like, we're having a patty short of cheer. So I really can't talk about this right now. So Kenya is talking about Marlo and she goes, well, I mean, Marlo, I mean, she dragged poor Drew over her little bun, which is, I just love her accusing Marlo of dragging Drew over the bun while also just viewing that statement with so much shadiness, you know, and she goes, coming from someone with actual Bosley hair implants, you're talking about a girl with a bun. Hahaha.

I'd charade that's her out laugh, which is my favorite charade laugh. Out of all the charade laughs, that's my favorite, which goes, whoo, whoo, whoo. Hahaha, the out of laugh. Hahaha. So Kenya is like, that girl has Chiapet surgery. Just buy a Chiap pet and put the seeds on your scalp little water grease in the oil. Get your edges back. So then, um, so then Sonny has to hang up. So Kenny goes, I have, yeah, Sonny hangs up and Kenny goes, you know, but I still have love from Marla and triggers. Oh, she, she loves you too. But she did say you need to power wash your house. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, which is by the way, so juicy door. How do you leave your phone in a gift bag?

I mean, so she left her phone in the gift bag and then. But that's also so sure to take the gift bag. Like somebody left a gift bag so sure I took it. It was like, oh, there's some phone in here. Yeah, yeah, oh, it's a nice gift. So like my shiree, by the way, it's turned into some hybrid of Cynthia and Tom Collicchio. So basically Drew left her phone and so Drew's assistant had to come by to get the phone

and Kenya's like, oh well, she told Candy that she and you share an assistant. And Shiree, Shiree is not happy that that's going around. You share an assistant. And Jerry? Jerry's not happy that that's going around. You know, you see the, I'm happy to spread over her face. And then we see a clip of Candy being told about this assistant and Drew's saying, you know, and she's going through it with the assistant. And then we see a clip of this assistant and his honey.

It's a lovely live Asian honey. To keep your taste buds moving and your hips grooving honey. And candy like looking at him like shit. Who the fuck? Who told you you could call me honey sir? Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's come. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. self, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then Drew tells, we see also Drew telling Candy that Anthony was Sheree's assistant for three years and that he started, she goes, he started telling me stuff that I don't think I should know.

So then it comes back and Kenya is saying like, yeah, like she said that you owe the assistant money and that he has been going back and telling Drew all your personal business, that's what she told Candy. So Sheree is like, she was, I think she's playing it down, but she's pissed. Sherez pissed, yes, because she doesn't know this Drew, and Drew's already trying to come for her and her free assistant work or whatever.

I was looking at something on my phone that I screenshot the other day, because I'm in this neighborhood group, you know, on Facebook, and this lady, this is what I think about Drew. How many assistants does Drew have and why? Can anybody explain to me why? Because I just don't get it.

And I feel like she's one of those ladies who just gets people to do things for her to feel important. And this lady posted on the group, I'm looking for an assistant. And we're going to need two in front school during the day, which by the way is a manny, right? Dry cleaning, she listed all this stuff and was like,

Amplest will need you on weekends that we're gone and this, I mean, basically her whole life. And I was like, this lady's expecting a lot and you know she's gonna pay like $2 an hour. So I clicked on her page to see what she was like. I don't want to say her name because you never know with my lecture Be out there somewhere, but this is her thing on Facebook people will throw stones don't waste energy throwing them back Collect them and build an empire A stone empire Girl it takes more than a stone to build an empire

That's what I thought of with this multiple assistant storyline like I thought of that lady like give me a break But also like way to lose the metaphor thread like a people throwing stones People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones so collect the stones and build you would think a Stone house, but no, it's an empire. She's like no She's like so I'm gonna I'm gonna leave the metaphor now and just start something new. I have a stone empire. So, so I'm gonna, so I'm gonna set. So let's see, so yeah, Sharade's pissed off about it.

And Sharade's like, well, maybe she needs to worry about her husband. And Kenya's like, yeah, there's a lot of mess in that house. You know, her husband has another assistant that was offered to give him a massage is and that assistant was supposed to be fired, but now the assistant's not fired. I mean, there's a lot going on poor little bun. And Sharay is like, well, she needs to worry about that instead of me. Yeah. And Kenya's like, well, that's a conversation you need to have with her. And Sharay is like, well, she needs to worry about that. Instead of me. Yeah, and came in and said, well, that's a conversation you need to have with her. And Shere is like, oh, I will definitely have that conversation with her. I will definitely will. Some future episode.

And Shere adds a noise to the Shere noise hall of fame. I definitely will be. So then we go over to Drew's house and the kids are running around and stuff. It's dinner time. And there's this chef over at this gorgeous chef over at the house. Of course, she's a hot woman. And Drew's like, well, you have us eating healthy today. What is that?

Salmon and chef chastity, which I hope you keep it in this house, ma'am, because you've got Ralph on the loose over there. She's just not even looking at me. I like that chef's Chastity isn't thirsty at all. She's just like, eat your fucking salmon, lady who pretends she runs a diet empire. I know. Drinks like, shock to see Sam and... And did you notice there was like some whole ornate kind of like Sam and did you notice there was like some whole ornate kind of like Display it wasn't quite an edible arrangements, but there's like passion fruit slices and there was like a whole like

Made for TV display that Drew and Ralph got for their kitchen island that they were like, oh, we're gonna be on TV And we're gonna be authorities and food. So let's put on a edible arrangement with passion fruit on our kitchen island I was like this is not a natural place for this thing. So they, the food is served. This rosemary-crusted salmon with roasted broccoli and, Ralph's like, well, I hope there's not garlic in here because you know, it doesn't work with me. And I'm like, and, you know, of course, Drew's like, no, it's only a little bit. And they go, whoa, this is really good. I'm like, you don't have a garlic intolerance.

You're just trying to sell the fact that people who have garlic intolerances will be cool with this shitty food you guys are trying to sell to America. Oh, really? Because I thought that's just bad salesmanship. Like, wow, I can't wait to buy food from the people who don't use garlic.

Mm, sounds delicious. Well, it's either or, Ron, either one of them is that they are like pulling your con by pretending they have a garlic intolerance or one of them is that they just don't even know how to market their own food. So nothing is good. You know, and then I love that they're trying to pretend that they have a personal chef when the chef doesn't even

know he doesn't like garlic. Like, oh, yeah, you must have this every day, huh? Yeah, I was wondering about that. I was like, something is wrong here why are we trusting these people to make food for people so then then Ralph is talking about they're talking about the archive and Ralph is like yeah I had a good time at the archive it was great to have somebody there with the same mentality that understands me talking about Todd it's, what are you guys both scammers?

Is that what it is? Is that why you guys connect? Well, you know, everyone loves candy and I love candy, but never been a Todd supporter. I'm I'm team mom, a Joyce on Todd. I think Todd is just a user, you know, and we see him working, but then with candy's show, we've seen like where that goes with Todd, not even wanting to go into the restaurant. So we kind of see it and then today is a whole Todd episode where we learned what Todd is exactly up to. There's a whole lot of spending can do money sir.

So yeah, when when Ralph is saying that he's finally found someone like him to hang out with, you know, not great, not great. But I think also like Ralph is very eager to align himself with someone who has like real money. Not saying that Todd owns the money, that's candy's money essentially. But still, I think Ralph is really happy to align himself with them, like the power couple of this show, right? So, so then Drew was like, oh, well, candy brought up the Instagram of your assistant and Rob's like, look, I fired her. Okay, I fired her and by fired her, I mean, I fired up the grill and made her a stick. Okay, so I fired her. What else do you want

for me? Yeah, I no longer pay her for her sexual texts. So Drew's like, um, so you don't talk. He's like, I just say we don't talk. I said, we don't do business. And she's like, so you do talk? I said, we don't do business. And she's like, yeah, he just puts me on tumble dry. But he'll confuse me. And I'm like, is it me the stripping?

And that's true, but you know what gets through in the tumble dry? Wet blankets, okay? Stop being one. Walk out of there. What the hell are you doing? Yeah, yeah, get a new, get a new whirl there. What the hell are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Get a new, get a new whirlpool.

So Ralph is like, he's like, I don't understand. You don't feel comfortable with another woman. I mean, maybe it's because how she looks and she's like, well, how does she look? He goes, she's a 50 year old woman. Okay, she was 12 when I was born. She's like saying, like, oh, well, she's 50. So like, the implication is like,

she's some haggardly old decrepit, a hunchbacked, you know, crone. I'm like, you know who else is 50? Kenya and Cynthia are both in their 50s for crying out loud. They're beautiful. Welcome to the show you're on, you fucking weirdo. Like who comes to the real house

who has world and says that? Oh no. And so she's like, but men date older women all the time. Like, and if you were to find something in my phone where a guy is offering me a massage, you wouldn't like that. And he's like, but that's not the message. That's not the message.

And everyone, everyone says the problem is you. You know, because there are so many women around me and the only one you have a problem with is her. The problem is that she's sending you messages saying I can come over and give you a massage. This guy is such shit. Like I can't believe this guy. And this is only the beginning of their episode. Right. Yeah. And so she's like, stop trying to make me feel crazy when I have a valid point. You're married to someone with a major problem. Okay. The end. This is not something you fix. Run.

Run the hell away. The man was taping you in your own house. Yeah, from Tampa. So Drew is, Drew tells us, you know, people say that Ralph gaslights me, but I don't know if that's necessarily true. So the producer says, well, can you define gaslighting? And she goes, uh, actually, I don't know what it means. So she pulls it up, of course. We're like, we're all rolling her eyes. And she goes, ooh, to manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. She's like, oh my god. What thought?

Don't you feel like Bravo purposely put that into actually teach people what gas lighting is? Because nobody on Bravo knows what gas sighting is? They just say stop gas sighting me, but nobody really knows what it is So I was glad that they finally added a definition into the canon. Yeah, because A lot of people have been using that as a synonym for lying and it's not the same thing Gaslighting and it's not the same thing. Gaslighting. Gaslighting. That's what I was thinking.

Inferno's time. Lisa Rina dancing around screaming gaslighting when she gave me that. Gaslighting. So then we get gaslight, a film by Ralph Pittman, and we see a montage of Ralph Gaslighting over the past season and change, which was just great. Just seeing it all lined up together, just seeing unequivocal evidence of him being a pure gas lighter. It was just hilarious.

And so she's, he's like, you know, I didn't say I'm not going to speak to her. Okay, you know what? Say it. I want you to say it. If you want me to never talk to her again, say it out of your mouth. And she's like, I'm not going to do that. I want you to decide to do it because then down the road, what if it was the wrong decision, and then you're going to resent me for making the decision for you? Well, yeah, but if he's making the decision because you're

you know, emotionally trying to make him make the decision, he's going to resent you too. Yeah. That's a couple so weird. So he's like, but yeah, but there's a lot of resentment you for anyway. She's, oh, there's more. And goes, Oh, yeah, we can talk about later. She's like, great. Wonderful sales pitch for your food, guys. Great. Love, love that to be continued. Ralph has resentments. What else am I? So now, we see flashes of what everyone's doing around town. Marlos, I, what appears to be Brooks Brothers or something like that

with her nephew is gonna get her nephew a seat for his homecoming dance. And then we see Kenya making tea, quote unquote tea with Brooklyn, they're having a tea party and Brooklyn's like, I want chocolate tea. And then Meshire is talking to her daughter has a podcast. That's like all about sex and stuff,

which I'm like, isn't that kind of candy's area? I mean, it's fine. Two people in the same sort of close knit circle can have that. But I was sort of like, I think we already have candy go to Knights. Terry. And Tierra. Tierra's like, you know, I People get upset.

Well, people get so tight when you talk about sex. I mean, I didn't even have to say the word sex and look at your face mom And she's like, well, you said never to listen to it. So I've never listened to it She goes, yeah, because I talk about polygamy one night stands your favorite sexual position And Thalma's like, yeah, I'm not gonna be listening to that one. Thanks. Yeah, don't grandma, don't. I mean, what are you 50? Disgusting. Gross.

So then Candy calls her Broadway producer, Brian Moorland. And we hear about her Broadway show that she produced. Do you say Brian Moorland? Moorland. A Moorland. I was like, wait a second. How Brian Moiland really is everywhere? God, he really works with some of his housewives.

Well, I didn't know he was even producing a Broadway show. So they talk about her new Broadway show and they didn't get a good review from the times, but they did get a good review from the Amsterdam something Amsterdam news. Yeah, so they're talking about it. So I think it's pretty cool. I'm at, you know, I would say that like for someone

who every single season is shilling something, which is like candy, I think she does like a good job. Like, she, like her stuff is, it's not like, you know, donkey booty, it's not like, you know, real for real, this imaginary salmon stuff with cream. She's that no one's ever seen that in the wild. Like, she does stuff that like, when she, Donkey Booty. It's not like, you know, real for real, this imaginary Sam and stuff with cream cheese that no one's ever seen out in the wild. Like, she does stuff that like, when she's chilling it, it's like, oh yeah, oh, I've got to be on a TV show or I'm going to have a Broadway show going on. So I think that's pretty cool. Yeah, it is. All of her businesses are still there.

For what I think. I mean, candy factory, still there,. Dillow shop, whatever it's called, still there, the restaurant still there. Yeah, she's she actually were mothers love. Maybe maybe that will come back because I never got to see it. But it was there for a long time. I mean, it did a lot that show when a lot of places and stuff. So this is called Thoughts of a Colored Man. And it's the first Broadway play that has ever been completely produced, you know, written by starring everything

by a black, a black company or whatever. And that's pretty incredible. And I looked it up because I was like, surely that cannot be true. Like surely that's not true. That's true. It is true.

It is absolutely true. So good for them. That's true. It is true. It is absolutely true. So good for them. That's the best. Yeah, Broadway has major issues when it comes to that kind of stuff, like major, major issues. So good for candy for for forging forward on that front. So you know, who's not forging forward on really any fronts. Todd, actually, no, the one front that he is forging forward on is his front Okay, because he comes in all Mopi as usual and like he's like watching candy on the phone Hmm, so candy is on cloud nine. She's like so happy about this production and she's doing back and forth to New York and everything And she's telling Todd like you know, like I'm doing all this stuff. I can't really do it alone He's like, well, why are you talking to me?

Like I'm doing something wrong. Why? I'm like, let me guess, because you've probably done something wrong, Todd. Yeah. Where are you making your sound like you're doing this alone? And she's like, well, you go on multiple vacations a year. And when you're not here, it kind of disrupts the flow.

And he's like, yeah, but you leave for months. Like if I leave for a weekend here and there, but you leave for months, you don't think the flow is disrupted. Todd, the flow is raising children. The children were wanted by you. Candy didn't want to have the children. Candy was like, I've already got a child.

Why do I want to have children? You were the one who forced this child, and now I'm not saying Candy isn't glad she had children, but when this all started, you were the one who insisted on children. And now you're going out of it, you're going out on vacation every other weekend. Well, also the difference is that Todd is going out

on vacations, Candy is going out of town to work. I mean, this is also what happened, I think two seasons ago, where Candy was, remember she was shooting Lena Wait, my dear friend, Lena Wait TV show, forget what it was called, but the she, the shy, the she, the shy. I mean, I called it the shy for a long time

or maybe the chit, but I always say the wrong fastest. But anyway, Candy was doing that and Todd was like, oh, but you're always at a town. It's like, because she is shooting a TV show, making money, you literally have, Todd, you literally have an eckabonus house, a bonus house on your property that has a pool inside of it.

That does not come from Candy hanging around. He's out there spending that money, just like mom, I need mama Joyce here to just hate on Todd in every episode because this is hard to watch and Candie's you know, Candy does a lot with her straw resentment. You know, she does some slurps from the straw while she's rolling her eyes at him and then when she gets really mad she starts Yeah, with the straw which I really like like the stabbing of the ice with the straw, which I like, but I really need some more hatred on Todd, because Todd deserves to, like Todd earns every bit. So she's like, I go for work.

Why are you going to Miami? He's like, hang, you know, and that's when she's stabbing the ice with her straw. And she's like, yeah, we're not on the same page, and now, you know, everything I do, I do it with Todd, but now that I have this thing without Todd he's feeling you know he's feeling away I guess and so Todd's like well what are you saying and she's like nothing Todd forget it okay but there are things here the guest house is looking

crazy you know there's shit everywhere and he's like yeah the pool house too so they go look at this indoor pool it's depressing depressing ask cave It's always been depressing looking, but now for some reason, it's like the, the, it's the, it's depressing quality just feels magnified. And Todd is so proud of himself because he changed out the tan stonework and put in like black distress marble, which to me is like a lateral move. Like, I don't see why that looks newer car. It's just this, it's still like a weird ass room with a pool. Yes. Um, and he's like,

that it's current. And of course Todd likes a part where he can spend the money, which is getting the pool done, but he doesn't like the part where he actually has to do stuff, which is like moving boxes out there right so candy's like you know I guess I am kind of guilty of being one of those people that never finishes the house and so he's like well and then we find the real problem because this is basically what she's getting at he's leaving all the time and he has another place he apparently has a place in Jersey so she's like well because he says well I could take some of this stuff to Jersey,

too. You know, I mean, there's nothing in there. You saw it, right? And so he tells us, I'm moved into this condo with my ex and, you know, we purchased it together, but that didn't work. So I moved out and she never refinanced and got my name off the condo. So unfortunately, I ended up having to pay it off. So Candy had to pay off your fucking condo with your ex. Is what you're saying? That's what you're saying. Also, I knew who moves out of a place that they own and doesn't take their name off of it.

What the hell? He acts like, oh, he's like this passive person in the world of real estate deeds. Can't you just, am I crazy? Can't you just fill out a form and bring it to the notary and get that, I don't think you have to refinance just to get your name changed. It was such a strange response

and such an irresponsible response. That's actually the thing that bothered me the most, which is that, here's a guy who talks, he was like, he likes to act like he is Mr. CEO of candy stuff and he bosses people around, but he just casually has had this name on a deed of a house that he doesn't live in with a woman he's no longer in a relationship with.

To me, that's just like, wait and open yourself up to some sort of liability, okay? Wait and open up candy to a liability. And just irresponsible. So I've had enough. I've had enough. And she's like, well, I mean, you know, that's your place. And he goes, it's our place. It's our Jersey crib babe.

And she's like, my name's not on that. And he says, well, my name's not on this house. Yeah, but she paid for both. Okay? Because you're not telling me that you just happen to have all the money to pay off that house by yourself. Give me a break. And honestly, I'm sure, like if he said, hey, I want my name on the DDoD this house because I feel like it's ours together. Like I actually think Candy would be open to that. I don't think you don't think so. No, hell no.

Well that says something about that relationship. Well either way, either scenario, this is like the Ralph, or the way. Mama Joyce would be at that door like, Kim, Kim, Kim, I do the way. Either Avenue is bad. It means that A, Mama Joyce would be at that door like yeah

Your way your avenue is bad. It means that a the relationship is fucked if if candy doesn't trust your own husband to have his name on the deed Or the other way around is that he's too lazy to put his name on the deed or something like I don't know Well, there was a whole pre-nut with plotline You know that they had before they're wetting the stuff that was causing them all the stress and this and that. So, his way, this is like his passive aggressive thing. Like, well, you have your own stuff, so now I have my own thing. And she's like, yeah, but I don't even have keys to that place. And he's like, you can have keys, whatever. And she's like, yeah, I don't know that I want to stay at a place with his ex, where his

ex was. And he's saying, but yeah, but she had exes in this house, you know, she didn't even put the mattress over, he says. I just think it's, I think it's all, I think it's just like weird. And I don't, I'm like, I don't know why he's not just selling the place. I mean, he later on, he says, oh, this one, we go to New York, we got a spot, you know, it's on the water, we got a spot. Let me tell you something, if you live in a whole other city and you want to get like a cool spot in New York, so when you're in town, you can have a place to crash. Why do you want to go like to Hoboken or across the the, like, I feel like you want to have a spot like right in the center of the city, right? This is not to shade Hoboken.

I know Hoboken is very, very cool and the manzoes had a restaurant there for a few months. Listen, there's meatballs and blackwater and Hoboken. The cake boss has a shop there. I've been to Hoboken. I've walked around. I've even seen a movie called The Hoboken Chicken Emergency, which is a real movie. The plot is the title. The plot is the title.

That's like, please don't. But the point is this, no Todd, if I am crash, if I'm flying into New York City and I've got to do meetings or I'm going to see a show or whatever, I I wanna like get right to my apartment right there, like wherever it is. I just, I'm like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, like, I'm just like, I know. And so he feels like he's got a point in this relationship, this relationship. And it's interesting because this is the episode where later Marlow and Candy have a scene about, you know, why aren't we closer? And Candy's like, well, because you, I basically brought you on the show and then you did nothing but talk shit about me. And we see a clip of Marlow saying, yeah, well, you know what I hear about you? That you're a big mama, that you take care of your man. And that was all those years ago and, you know, here you are in this situation. So it's time for commercial. It's time for a

crap and commercial. By the way, that's a wonderful segue. It's you now, Marlowelow arriving at a photo shoot. It's candy doing a photo shoot for like a Halloween invitation or something. The caption said, candy's personal Halloween photo shoot. It's candy in full-on green paint. Like this is like a reboot of Kenya's Halloween costume from a few years ago. So she's like fully in green in like a wig and everything and prosthetics on her face like doing these photos and Marlo comes in and Marlo has also dressed a little crazy and she's after like Ken. I can't he's looking crazy So then they sit down to have a conversation and just funny to me because Marlo is dressed in just like

regular Everyday clothes or Marlo's version of everyday clothes Everyday clothes she's wearing a sea-fruits silk. Not everyday, meaning that like, she's not in a costume. And then Candy is sitting there, fully green. And she's wiping off, she's taking off random prosthetics. And she's wiping herself down over the course to see.

But she's fully green dressed like a witch. And Marlow is just Marlow. There was like, there's a gap here. There's some sort of gap going on between these two, how they're presenting. That's so funny. Marlow is so shady. She drives up and she tells the driver, the Siri is rough, right? Marlow, shut up and just go inside. Okay.

And being nice to the only lady who sends your children money, which you say later in this scene. So they kind of laugh with each other and then Marlowe tells the assistant, can I have a cocktail, please love, and a napkin? I mean, man, to live like Marlowe, that's just how to do it. You know, she does that at a bus stop. You just will do it everywhere. And so, there can't be saying, you know, I love that you're such a good mentee to those kids and Marlowe tells us she's with Kandia because she needs advice on being a single mom. Yeah. And Kandia is like, well, I love the way, you know,

I was just talking about, actually, they start talking about the archive first. And Kandia says how she loved how Marlowe put everything together and she's like, you know, I know you're upset with it because the other two went and told you everything that we said, but I was just there being like, shit, like how do you, how do you pay for all this? That's all that's all I was doing.

Marlow's like, well, just tell them I work a magic city on Monday. Just tell them that. Yeah, I do private dances. My name is Ginger. So then Marlow still doesn't answer, which is like another continuing Marlow story line that I love. Marlow's a mystery money. And so they start talking about the kids and how she felt so guilty when she got the kids

because she felt like she didn't want them to grow up with nothing and she knows that they were going through so much. And so she was giving too much and she created little monsters. She's like, I mean, I just bought one to $1,200 suit for a homecoming. And Candy's like, well, we address this, we address this in thoughts of a colored man now on Broadway, get your tickets now. Why?

She says, what is being black always equate to struggle? What's wrong if your kids have a Mercedes when they go to school? It doesn't make you any less of a worker just because you came up with money, it's ridiculous. Yeah, she's basically like, you can still instill a work ethic and still set them up for greatness, you know?

And like, why can't your nephews have nice things? Right, why not? Especially they're going to a school where people show up in BMWs and everything like that. And Marl is basically like, well, if I die right now, like my nephews aren't gonna go very far, you know, if I, mainly because someone has to take care of a lot of our coves,

so they really can't go literally any farther away because they're, they're entrusted to maintain my legacy. And she tells Candy, you know, you send out cash on their birthdays and graduations and, you know, I really appreciate that because you're the only one that does that, you know, she's, but I would, you know, I want more hands on candy. I mean, you've never invited me over for movie die and candy without a beat without missing a beat says, uh, you got to be the friends you want, Marlow,

like come on. Marlow just showing up and being like, why are we better friends? Which is also so Marlow. She just always like drags people and just says the riddest things. And then and then he's always like, why don't you end, but why don't you hang out with me? Why don't we get friends? So I mean, so basically, I mean, we get like some flashbacks.

Candy talks about how Marlow was dating her god brother initially. And then like when Marlow came into the group and how Marlow basically, like you said earlier, that Marlow is the one saying that Candy is like a sugar mama to these two guys and stuff. So Candy, you know, she holds a grudge. So, you know, but they basically,

Marlow, Candy's like, well, you haven't invited me over either. Okay? So Marlow's like, come over tonight, come over tonight. Okay, you're welcome anytime. Candy's like, yeah, I'm green right now. So I'm dressed like the Grinch and like Wicked at the same time, so no. Yeah, so let's go back and pretend

that Drew is a fitness. Yeah, a fitness, what do you call her? On Instagram, where you answer. Influencer, yeah, so let's pretend that Drew is a fitness influencer. So we go to her backyard. She's doing go workout with a trainer and Anthony, who's there, of course, trying to give his lines.

Yeah. And can't with Anthony. Yeah, Anthony. And bad gate casting. Yeah, he's like, it's sweating like this. Good for your knees. So then Sonia facetimes in and I'm like, you should be here.

Come on, you should be here. Come on, you should be here. So you know, Sonia's like, there's no way I'm partaking in your pool side. Quote him, quote, quote, workout. I am an Olympian. I am an Olympian. So, um, so, so I guess I don't remember what Sonia even Face Times for. It's just Face Times says hi. Just to confirm a double date for another time. And so Ralph, And so Ralph pulls through a side after the workout. And he's like, listen, we're going to do something together. It's going to be great. So clear your schedule on this night.

And she's like, um, so, but don't you think that's putting our issues on the back burner? Yes, Drew, you know, your issue is never fully cooked. If it didn't go on the back burner, no one would ever get fed. Okay. Yeah. If that's what backburners are for, your relationship. Yes, so speaking of burners, we now go to Todd

at Blaze, get it, because burning Blaze, et cetera. So Todd walks in and then a guy comes running up to him, like almost very much like a musical, be like, hey Todd, here are the specials for today, we got it, that's all, that's all, that's all. So, my foes, Baba Sosling, Hey Todd, here at the specials for today, we got a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, a lot he's like talking a lot, and he talks a lot. He's actually very talkative. Cause sometimes the husband's on these shows

are like, that's cool. Yeah, awesome. But Ross is in it, you know, and he's like, so I heard you're the man to know that's the word around town. Basically, so I'm hanging out free meals, and other were friends, cause I'm ready for free meal.

And then, I'm trying to like, so how old are you? They're like 38. He's like, but I'm 48. I mean, I had to schedule a colonoscopy because you know what, I wanna live. Thanks for this shrimp. Thanks for the shrimp.

It's like thanks, Todd. Yum, delicious. It's like, I'm concerned about, I'm concerned about prostate cancer, which is why I'm here to stay-couse. So, Zara's like I'm concerned about I'm concerned about prostate cancer, which is why I'm here to stay house. So so Ross is like Ross talk about how he wants another kid, but they're not sure, et cetera. And then Todd is like, that's cool. Hey, so Ralph, I heard about your assistant drama. I had a lot of conversations about the assistant and even Ross is like, yeah, me too. So Ralph goes, okay, so this is the thing wifey can't let go of, okay?

I cannot find a massage therapist. And my assistant called me and was like, Ralph, you need to get your massage. And I was like, yo, I couldn't find one. Okay, well, I just need a massage therapist. That's all, pros. I'm just like, yeah, because massage therapist, it's real hard to find one right now.

And then he laughs. And he goes, yeah, cause there was a text in, I heard that this lady has a fat ass in a nice body, and Ralph goes, man, it's Atlanta, everyone has a fat butt, okay? Well, I think that the text message said, oh, I should give you a massage, and you were like, well, you know I'm a man,

and Ralph goes, yeah, I said, well, I know, I said I was a guy, but my thing is more like, I'm a man, because like, I didn't solve the problem, you know, is more like I'm a man because I didn't solve the problem, you know, because like I'm a man, I got to solve the problem, you know, you know, they're just like laughing at him because you so like absurdly full of shit that they just can't do anything but laugh at him. Yeah, because he's saying that he meant,

no, of course I didn't get a massage therapist because I'm a man, you know, like I'm too stupid, so I didn't take care of that. Instead of what would you do if I came over? Well, you know, I'm a man. You know, he's so full of shit. So, um, so I was like, I'm gonna use that one. I'm a man. You know, you don't like that I didn't finish the pool house, but I'm a man.

You don't like that I got my Jersey condo, but I'm a man you don't like that I got my Jersey condo but I'm a man so then Ralph gives us an explanation for the ages he's in his interview he goes you know what it's hard to explain like it's it's a matter of you believing exactly what I say it's more like I should did it myself but I am I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it for you but then when I was like I was like I'm a guy I didn't do it but same as he knows like guys taking medicine like we don't do it for you, but then when I was like, I was like, I'm a guy, I didn't do it. But the same, the same thing was like, guys, they can medicine, like, we don't do it sometimes. You know, it's like, you ever seen an alpaca? You know, an alpaca, like, is it a llama?

Is it an alpaca? And you're like, I'm a guy, it could be an camel. It could be anything, it could be a rabbit. I don't know, it could be all these things. Have you ever got a massage from a rabbit? It's all, it's like that, you know? But really, Drew shouldn't be going through my phone to begin with.

It's just real thing. That's his real thing. He says a whole bunch of bullshit that you get confused by and then comes in with the lasting message. Well, maybe she just wanted a full body shot of her in her new outfit so she was going to your camera app. So fucking privacy. I know.

Talk about surveillance. Now he has issues with surveillance. Yeah, he's suddenly got issues with privacy and a relationship. Yeah So then Todd starts talking about his the condo issues and he's like, yeah, I'm trying to convince my wife that we would go to New York It's a nice spot, you know, but I don't want to get rid of it because I paid for it I'm like do you Todd you know how real estate works? You bet you bought this place in whenever it was ago and Sell it make it make a profit show that you're a businessman

More if he wants to keep it keep it, but he's making it sound like he's doing it for a business because he could rent the place out for like $5,000. Okay, but you're not renting it out. You're using it as your party bad. So, and you know what, why shouldn't he? Like, I don't even mind. It's just there's so much stuff with Todd that just, you know, you stack it all together. And it's like, I'm gone. Yeah, I just feel like sometimes the rules don't apply for him.

I feel like he comes down on candy for certain things and then not, and then like he does shit. Like he comes down on candy for certain things and then like he does shit. Like he comes down on a candy for traveling too much and then he goes off on vacation all the time and that's not really what this is about but I'm gonna choose to make it part of that. Well, it is what it's about I guess. So Ralph is like, well, why is she mad about that

and Todd says, well, because they don't want you to have your own thing, they just want to have all this shit, which I think pretty much sums up Todd. You know, it's like you marry someone more successful who's working all the time, then you say you're not with them for their money, but then all you do is partner up with them on their businesses, that, you know, from what we can see from your own shows,

you don't do a lot with. And then you resent them for all those businesses. You know, it's just a bad cycle. It's a bad song. It's not good. So now we have Marlo. She's with her nephews because her nephew is going to the homecoming. So she's also with her husband and wife manager. She has, it's Ty and Justin. They're her managers. I don't know what they are managing.

Quite, maybe they're managing her as a celebrity, but I don't understand like, is it her business? Is it like what brand? I still like lots of question marks with Marlo, but they're there. Well, no one knows what Marlo does. So how can we know with they're managing, you know? Yeah, exactly.

And basically she'd like leans on Justin to help with things like male puberty. She's like, she's like, yeah, mine after you said, something's growing there. And I was like, oh, Justin help. Help. So let's see. They talk about homecoming.

And she shows Michael how to slow dance, which is cute. And then she, they get him dressed for homecoming and she's like, put him in her maze belt. And she talks about how she grew up with a drug addict mom with nothing and she was getting beat all the time. And she actually loved foster care because that was like her safe haven. And she talks about how she only got to go to prom once, but when she did it, she did it right. She went to sheer essence for her hair. And she was like, and you were the shit

if you would to sheer essence. Isn't it, it's interesting that Marlow comes down so hard on Kenya, given that Marlow also has, apparently, a very fraught relationship with her mom, etc. So, anyway, so it's actually a really nice scene. I think that the nephews bring out a really lovely side of Marlo, and I really enjoyed it. So then we go over to Drew's house, and we see Drew. She's wearing something that's like the color of Mountain Dew.

It's like, I like to say it was like a figure skating tribute to Tina Turner. It was just someone who was like this. Like, she looked like she was ready to go out on ice and do like a triple lux to proud Mary. Yeah, so it was very dancing with the stars dress. It was really weird. It was super short and then a slit all the way up to the stomach.

It was an odd ice skating dress. I put white god, that's what I'm gonna. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, miss white gone. So, so Branton, assistant number three comes to get it. Why do they have so many assistants? This is some Gen Shaw shit going on over here. Yeah, because we still don't really fully know what Ralph does, aside from right books about how to be a stepfather to the step kid that you threatened to leave over.

He's really state or something right here. But also technology, I thought, I don't know. I don't know why they need three assistants, okay? Well his Instagram says Ralph Pittman public figure. Let's see. Oh God. Oh, well that's just how Instagram is. That's a favorite bio. Speaker, author, musician, technology,

and business strategist, and then his cameo. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So let's see here. Yeah, third assistant branding comes over to take her, and she was like, oh my god, I knew Ralph was up to something, a red carpet, a red carpet. And Ralph is full on love bombing Yeah, at this point which anyone who is familiar with

Emotional abuse knows that this is the cycle you this is the So crazy and then you love bomb and I love that you know The joke is always like oh man do you wrong? And you know they've done something wrong when they bring you roses. He's got a whole rooftop full of roses. So God knows what this guy's done. I know, and I like Drew's reaction. She goes, you know, I'm pretty hard to surprise,

but I knew Ralph was up to something, but I had no idea. I'm like, Drew, don't tell me you're pretty hard to, you're probably the person that's easiest to surprise in this entire cast. Let's be honest. You don't pay attention to anything. You're the person that's easiest to surprise in this entire cast. Let's be honest. You don't pay attention to anything. You're the easiest person to surprise,

you don't even know the lady's Instagram. You don't even know the Instagram assistant's name. You are literally like, people have to strap you down if you're gonna open up a pop up book. Okay, like you are naive. So, she's like, yeah, and you know what, this is what I wanna feel in our marriage. I just wanna feel like number one, that there shouldn't is what I want to feel in our marriage. I just want to feel

like number one. There shouldn't be anybody feeling like number one in a marriage. You're the only one. Yeah. So nothing says being number one, then you arrive at what looks like first, like, is this a house? What is this? And they get there and Ralph is there in a suit. And Drew is like, wow, I feel like a princess, a very modern princess who's wearing not a ball gown. But I feel like a princess on a dancing competition show. And so like a princess in Little Humber in 1994. Ralph is like, when I proposed to her,

she felt like a queen. And I to her to feel that again in the environment of my boys shops rooftop Their ass his tailors show room Where all princesses hope that they can have a romantic moment that he's not even at like a women's show. He's at his like his like his like Haberdash or like like what is like it didn't even make sense and also it's like you're so wow you didn't you were too cheap to like rent out a place so you had to like ask a bunch of roaders. Yeah you have to get to your tailor. I want her to know that no woman can ever come close to her. Like yeah, you make sure they come when she's not around.

That's the problem. Maybe you should try having them come closer to her. So of course Drew is impressed with all these roses everywhere. And she's like, wow. And Ralph goes, you know, sometimes I can be an asshole. I get it. But I love you. And I want to be the best husband, the best provider, the best goes, you know, sometimes I can be an asshole, I get it, but I love you. And I want to be the best husband, the best provider, the best father, the best person

to watch you from a closer TV, from a remote location, all those things. She's like, oh, this is what I'd live for. I mean, you go out of your way to make me feel like I'm the most important thing in the world. I just want to make sure that we go through these high, you know, we don't go through these high, high and low, low, you know, and then the music is like, ah! She goes, so we can go deeper in our relationship. And he's like, okay, well, I'm annoyed with that, but here it is.

Here's my new order for life, okay? Now it goes, God, then my wife, then my kids, and then everyone else. Because you know what, for men, we're taught God, then your wife, your family, and then you come in last. And so now, you know, he said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, no, Ronnie, he goes, the new order is God, then me, then my wife. He put himself, number, he put himself next to God. He was like, God, me, then my wife. He put himself, you put himself next to God. He was like, God, me, then my wife. So this is his way of showing that his wife is number one, by actually making

your number three on the list. Yes. By moving her down in a list, she doesn't even know about it. You didn't even have to tell her about this list. You moved her down on a hypothetical list. Yes. And you're like, so you think it's that order? He goes, yes, he goes, because I was a pleaser. I can't do that anymore, because I was always like, I was always too much a pleaser. So he's made himself the victim of his own narcissism here. And she goes, well, I don't know if I would say that,

or like, like, I would always be afraid of what I would be, it's funny that you say you're a pleaser because I would not, I'd always be afraid of what I would be, it's funny that you say you're a pleaser because I would not, I'd always be scared of your wrath because that wrath is so serious. So now he rolls his eyes. In an effort to dissuade her of his wrath, he does something wrathful, which has grunt and roll his eyes. And she's like, you know, even now I'm walking on egg shells

because I don't wanna ruin the night. And then the dinner comes out. And she's like, we can talk about this dinner. Yeah. So, this, okay, this dinner may be crazy. So they serve, all this stuff comes the table. They've got these golden chargers on the table, these like or neat chargers, like the things that go under plates.

And then, like I comes out, and he serves crab rangoon in those little baskets that go for French fries, that like they sort of like shopping baskets, but for fries. And then he serves like lobster, but in like a cake round. Like the, and then everything had enormous orange, not wedges, but slices, thick orange slices around it.

And huge purple flowers on top. It was, I was like, what is Ralph Chloe Spence, all of $10 on this caterer? I'm sorry, I'm like, this guy is so cheap. He put all his money into the flowers. Well, I think it was a restaurant, and they were like, but that's not a restaurant. Where do we heat things up?

Just put it in closures. Well, but it's crab rangoon. Okay, put it in a metal bowl and then put a cloche on it. So I'll just show it up looking all crazy. It was just like all these different looks. It was just like, it was not like a thoughtful presentation, right? And so it was just like, it was so Ralph. It was so Ralph, this janky ass meal.

So Drew's like, so you think you were a pleaser? He goes, yes, I'm a pleaser. And she's like, um, well, I'm going to eat this food. And so he's like, well, I would prefer this night to enjoy each other's company and then we can leave everything else to marriage counseling. And she's like, so we shouldn't communicate or, mean, it's like, I set this up with no expectations. So, you know what, if you value this, great.

If you don't, great. Okay, so you set up a whole night for her to be amazed, you know, and compliment you all night. And if it's not going to go that way, then fuck it. Which is the most selfish thing you can do, right? Set up something under the guise of it being for someone else. When really it's just to make you look like a good person. Even though you're clearly not one.

Even though you're a total asshole. Although it's also very much like Drew to like, there's just like a night. What should be a fun night, she is always gonna like, just bring up the shit. It's like, can we just have fun tonight, you know? That's not taking away from the fact that Ralph is a 100% love bobbin' her, by the way.

They're both awful. So then Drew's like, she's like, no, I value it. I mean, look, all this, these roses, this strange crab ragoon from a fast casual restaurant that you found, I mean, this shows that we can make it. It's a Ralph then. Then Ralph gets mad and goes, oh, well, this shows you. This is what shows you. She's like, oh, well, maybe Ralph, she took the kids and left you like a month ago. So why is this? Why is this a surprise? She's like, she just left

you without telling you and took the kids. I mean that wasn't that long ago. Why are we acting surprised, sir? Yeah, but also by the way Drew, how is this show anything? How is this show that you can make it? Because you got some flowers and he has a friend who like rented and let him go out onto his rooftop. That doesn't show anything. This proves nothing.

And she's like, well maybe I need to hold your hand while I say this. He goes, just talk, just say it. And he goes, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to schedule a session for you in Dr. Ken, where you can learn how to speak to men appropriately to get whatever you're trying to do here across effectively. Okay. And she's like, what? And then it becomes the Dr. Ken flight, which is Dr. Ken is always, he's always in the

background of these shows. And he and me, me, fight, which is Dr. Ken is always in the background of these shows. And he has Dr. Ken ever truly helped anybody on these shows. I can't stop. I'm doubtful. So Drew is like, he's like, well, and I'll pay for a session for you to learn how to talk to women. And Ralph, go see this is what Dr. Ken says. Dr. Ken says you like to do zingers.

And Drew's like, oh, so we're talking about what Dr. Ken says. Well, Dr. Ken called you a maniac. Okay, Dr. Ken, what the fuck? I love that Dr. Ken is like a house wife talking shit about the spouses and their therapy sessions. Dr. Ken is like, well, by the way,

you also know that these two idiots are probably completely like misinterpreting anything that Dr. Ken ever said, right? Right, well, we're saying it, but just using it in an evil way. I'm sure that Dr. Ken was like, listen, some people communicate differently, and you know, some people communicate their feelings through zingers or something like that. And he's like, yeah, I said you do zingers.

And, you know, I know that him acting like that, putting a camera in your house, then having a fit, because you didn't make the toast properly. You know, I know that it's probably the behavior of a maniac, but that maniac is your husband. There's something like that. It's like, well, he calls you a maniac. Yeah, they probably just like,

lashed onto a few buzzwords and just like, ran with them, you know. So, so then they get into a maniac fight. A doctor can maniac fight and Rathas, do you even know what the definition of a maniac is? No one who's a maniac is this successful, successful enough to order some crab rangoon on the top of someone else's store.

Okay, have you looked at my wall? I got degrees on my wall. I got the word, go look up the word maniac, okay? He goes, go look at my wall. Okay, I'm gonna Google that. I've been really relying on Google this episode. So I'm gonna Google maniac. A person exhibiting extreme symptoms of wild behavior, homicidal maniac.

Yeah, but you know what? Here, look at my definition. She's a maniac, maniac, oh, whoa, whoa. And she's acting like she's been here before. Is that the list? Is that the second lyric? I actually don't know. So he's like, you know, marriage counselors, you know, they he uses extreme words. Like that's what they do on the East Coast. Okay. So for you, you want the East Coast, okay? So for you, to go. Oh, those East Coasters were their extreme words. I think he's on the East Coast, by the way.

He's like, he's like, for you to go and repeat what he said. And she's, but I did that because you were repeating what he said to me. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she's like, you have maniac tendencies. Okay, look, one thing I've learned from watching, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It's not a free, it's not a descriptor people embrace usually.

I'm not just like, do not touch me, do not, you don't even understand what maniac means. It means somebody who's truly unstable. Like you're having a fit on the roof top of a tailor with a tin of cold rangoon in front of you. Okay. You are so angry, you're spitting and wilting the edible flowers on your crab ringer. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I mean, what are we doing then? And he's like, dessert, you want dessert? So she's like, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna get up, I know. And I'm gonna go to cry, but not so far that the cameras aren't there. I'm gonna just go a few feet away to cry

and watch you not follow me. Yeah, she goes to the safest haven she can find, which is crying amongst various mannequins and bow ties and neckties. Literally, she's like, you just eat men's wear. And so then Ralph was like, this bullshit. So then he's like, he's like, tonight was not for trying to fix anything. Ha, nah, nah.

So then, so now Drew of course is wanting more conversation. She's like, I'm just asking for a conversation. He goes, he goes, you know what? Sometimes I probably do too much. I probably should not do this, but doing stuff for you is not the move. I regret doing this, I'm not gonna do this for you ever again.

So then he walks away and then, because it's now his time to walk away and she sits at the table and she's gonna be like, I'm gonna sit this table and they're gonna get a long shot of me sitting here to use in a trailer, okay? That's what I'm doing. But I love that she sits and she's like,

I'm gonna eat this. like there's no way. I mean, he's an asshole, but we did buy the dinner. So I will be eating it. Yeah, exactly. And- What a piece of shit, man. And also this couple in general, like, ugh, I don't get it.

Because, and I mentioned this last week, but it's almost like they watched season one, and we're like, wow, people really liked our terrible marriage. Let's just really up the ante on that. Right. I'm just gonna make our whole every scene is gonna be about how much our marriage sucks. It just seems. Yeah.

Dickey. The best. Oddly fun to watch. I have to say. Yeah. Hilarious to watch, but they're just like two terrible people. And according to an internet meme I saw today, love bombing, and then like, removing the love bomb is all part of the manipulation. So when he said, when he said, basically, like, I'm not going to do this for you anymore,

that's just all part of it. That's a part of the entire, the dynamic that they have. According to a meme, but I believe the meme. Yeah, I believe in memes. Memes are the new colleges of 2020, you know, of the late 2020s. Yeah, do you see my wall? The wall of the late 2020s in the world, I'm trying to say. I've got degrees from my wall.

Go look at my wall. Well, thanks guys for listening. There's a crazy episode. There's silly. So thanks everyone. Again, tonight we got take a seat on Spotify live at 7 o'clock on the west coast, 10 o'clock on the east coast, and for you east coasters, there will be extreme words. So you know, just be ready. Or we won't do this for you ever again.

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