Watch What Crappens - RHOAKL: Being Real, Stupid

Episode Date: September 26, 2017

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And to follow us on social media go to watchacrapans.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch I'm Ben Madelker from bsidelog.com and the banter blender podcast joining me as usual on this very exciting week is runny caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast. What is up, Ronnie? Well, hello, BAM! Isn't it such an exciting week, as I previously said, like 20 seconds ago? What an amazing, exhausting, joyful week, BAM. So much joy. So much joy.

It's Tuesday. Tomorrow we're doing our two live shows in Chicago, which is gonna be amazing and so exciting. I'm like really excited to meet some of our Chicago listeners. Uh-huh. So excited. I'm really, really excited. I want to get a hot dog and some deep dish pizza and I don't know, maybe go on an architectural tour of the Chicago River or whatever that river is called. Make Yo List.

I'm making you know that. And this time, I'll know, the day after we're hanging out, my friend Aileen will be with us. And she's like the picture queen of the world. She will take 10 pictures of us in different lighting. You know, she's obsessed. So we're going to have a fun bonding time together as well as with all of you guys The funny thing is that mentally in my head. I said okay on Thursday after the show's done

I'm going to a coffee shop and I'm working on my writing all day So it's kind of funny that like band this time I'm clearing the day to hang out All I'll hang out. I'll hang out. You're hanging out. I'm hanging out. I'm not sure which one we have to Yeah, yeah, we're gonna hang out, but you don't really feel it till you're there, right? Like right now I'm in my kitchen. I feel gross. Like you don't feel that energy until it's around you. Had you been to Chicago before? I don't know if I've asked you this. When I went to New York on my 18th birthday on the bus, that was three days. And we stopped in Chicago and I looked around downtown for an hour. Wow. So that's it. Well, then now I'm actually upset because if I had realized this, those tours, like the

river tours where you go on a boat and you look at the buildings, those are great fun and you have to book them way ahead of time. So we may not be able to do that, which is too bad. But we'll do something else. I haven't done stuff in LA. Like I didn't do anything living in New York. I never saw anything. Unless I passed it in the cab.

I don't care about that stuff. I just want to hang out and laugh a lot. The deep dish pizza you just said that got me excited. Yeah. We'll do that. We'll recreate the opening credits of Perfect Strangers. Yes, please. And you know, all that fun stuff.

So that's going to be very exciting. Actually, what's also even more exciting, well, not even more exciting, because Chicago is super exciting, but probably on the same level, same tier of excitement, is that yesterday, we announced that we are finally coming to the Bay Area. We are putting on a show on November 4th at Social Hall,

San Francisco, Tickets Go On Sale this Friday. We will have the link up on all our social media where you can just come to our website, watchrocrapins.com, they'll be a link there. Everyone, the tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. Pacific. If you wanna go, don't slack. Our first Chicago show sold out in three hours in the second one a day later.

So, this is your warning. You have four days left to make your schedule work for it. It feels so weird doing so many shows. Yeah, it's really weird. It's really amazing. It's really weird. And we have a few other things that we're talking to some other places. So, they are going to keep coming and we're really enjoying it and we're hoping that it's

like so awesome to meet everyone in these cities and we're hoping that everyone's enjoying them too. So there's that. But if you thought the announcements were over, you are sadly mistaken because the next thing we have to announce or remind you guys about that we announced yesterday is that we are doing an absolutely amazing giveaway. We are giving away a copy of Caroline Fleming's new cookbook, which is coming out next week.

Cook yourself happy the Danish way. If you want a free cookbook from Caroline Fleming, I mean, from her publisher, it's not directly from her. But if you want to win your own Danish cookbook from the dear, Fleming, all you have to do is you want to win your own Danish cookbook from the deer, the Fleming, all you have to do is you have to make sure you follow us on Instagram and you have to post a photo recreating the magic of Caroline Fleming. Do your own Caroline Fleming Instagram photo and make sure to hashtag it,

hashtag Crappens Fleming and also hashtag Cook Yourself Happy. Okay. I get hashtag crappens flim and also hashtag cook yourself happy. Okay. Yeah, we know that takes a lot of your hashtag space, but Instagram doesn't count the numbers. Okay, so stop freaking out. Yeah, exactly. We need the hashtag to be able to track who's in the contest.

So everyone do that and then we'll go through like the finalists on the air. And also remember, part of it is the wonderful picture you're going to take. But a lot of the best of Fleming is hashtags, OK? Yeah. I want that whole recipe book to be written in her hashtags.

Like hashtag, what? MLN hashtag, one half cup. Well, you know, it's funny. I do have a link to one of her recipes. Do you want me to read some of it to you? Could you text it over, please? That would be great. It's just over right now.

So excited. Yeah, no. We haven't talked Fleming in a while. I know. I mean, how about this? Why don't we, why don't I'm texting the link, and at the end of the show, we'll do some clear the flim and we'll go through this recipe. How's that sound? Yeah, because this is the finale of Auckland and it turns out the forever finale of Auckland

The forever finale we're talking Auckland today on Tuesday because our recording schedule is all messed up with a Chicago show But yeah, this is it. This is the last ever episode of Real Housewives of Auckland Yes, and everybody was just getting warmed up just getting like let's yeah But yeah, this is it. This is the last ever episode of Real Housewives of Auckland. Yes, and everybody was just getting warmed up. Just getting warmed up. Yeah, they're like, let's find a different room to fight it now. You know? Like they're starting to feel it.

Like we've been in this room too long. Let's go to this room and continue in front of a bookshelf. Yeah, yeah. They're really getting there. And Stupid Julia had to hurl the N word of all things the N word and Get the show canceled Yeah, but why did they only cancel it when it was airing in America? Do you think it's because the audiences here got that mad?

I don't know maybe if they maybe if the American ratings were really high they would have they would have maybe brought it back with maybe the American audiences the ratings were just not good enough here not good enough to justify like continuing on with the show with the end well maybe if they stopped yeah maybe if they stopped treating it like it was the month it may be yeah Saturday morning I mean thank you thank you I mean do they I mean is it so hard for bra Bravo to put this on their prime time lineup? Like, I think we can survive without, you know, with Cyrus versus Cyrus for one week. Okay, let's put New Zealand in prime time. Exactly. Yeah, give it a chance.

Give it a chance. All we're saying is give Auckland a chance. Give love a chance, guys. Hashtag Brussels Sprout. Hashtag peaceful. Hashtag pink Himalayan peacefulness. Hashtag using the last of my Garage Band loops for this finale episode of Auckland. I was like, you guys mixed the violin plucking garage band loop with the, like there were

so many mixed in. I noticed that. I made a note about that too. They were like, we bought the royalties for all these songs. So we're going to put them all in this episode, even within the same 10 seconds. Like, we are going to go back and forth between songs. We don't care. Yeah, but it's like the free shit from GarageBand.

It comes with the GarageBand. They're just like this time we're making eight tricks. You mean the tracks that we use to create Tulu for you now available on iTunes? And everything else we do, that's how I recognize them. I'm like, oh, okay, So they took two of the little MIDI dots out of the free violin pluck. All right, that shows some effort. Hey, is that champagne pop flute? I hear it. I recognize it. They mixed it with Mandarin

Summer. So I guess that was bold. So this episode, this serious finale opens up sort of with this great image of Gilda rolling up to Michelle as a state in her Rolls Royce and there's a chicken in the way and Gilda just stops the car and hunks at the chicken and then just like extends her hand at the windows like, come on chicken. What's the word in the street? Word in the street. You're in the street chicken.

Word in the street is it during the street. Why did We're in the street, you're in the street. Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you think, why the fuck do I care? Stupid chicken. Stupid chicken is not even crossing road. That's why standing in front of car aren't you supposed to be crossing road? Why are you standing in driveway?

You're supposed to cross the road. I stopped even trying to do a gildic because yours is so good that I was like, oh rip his off. I've been like, getting off of yours. Are you crazy? I base mine off of yours. I learned it by watching you. I learned it by watching you chicken, eh? I learned it by watching a stupid chicken. You could grow all.

So we get some really good narration because it's an alley. So everything is narrated. She's like, there was chicken in front of my car. Check it out as long. Buh, buh, buh, buh, roll's rise. The chicken's like, I'm in front of a roll's rise right now. Oh, lady just snucked at me.

I thought, here we go. Michelle invited me to find out exactly what went down at book signing, okay. To be fair, a girl that technically she said, Michelle has invited me to a house for a catch-up. I was like, she's invited you for a catch-up. Michelle would, you know if you don't care. Yeah, she's like, I made you catch up

and mustard. It's like the new school system food ratings. Like catch up is a vegetable, okay? Yeah. Have you noticed by the way that every single episode begins with someone rolling up to Michelle's house, it's always the same thing, whether it's doggy daycare or gilder or Louise, someone's always showing up at Michelle's house to start the episode. It's probably the closest to the office. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's in the drone over there.

Yeah, because these shows, they live everywhere. You know, people get mad on Texas, the Dallas one. But Plano is far, you know? Like making jokes about Plano, it's not the neighborhood over, okay? It's a long ride over. So they're just like, you know, she lives by a lunch spot. Let's just go over to Michelle's.

Yeah, yeah. It's, yeah. Cause every episode, it's always like you see some solitary car driving through the countryside. And Michelle's always proudly saying, I invited, I invited Guilda over because I wanted her to look at her stone in my pebble in my driveway

I'm feeling pissed frankly. I'm sick of all the drama like you are not please Michelle You love the drama. Yeah, and so do we yeah, so she's telling the story She's like I told her the story that while Mark was giving his wonderful bubbly speech Angel look I'm straight through the middle. I'm like she saw that part like you don't need to tell her that part and it was I still stand by my defense of that moment which was that it was no big deal Guilda finished speaking and she walked in and then someone else got on the mic It was just that. I mean she shouldn't have shown up late But Michelle Olsen is just relax. It's like it was not like, Angela walked in. It was like, hi, everyone. I'm finally here being real.

She just literally walked in and kept on walking by. It was not like a big showy thing. Yeah, but she did bring flowers that were bigger than the ones that Guilda gave her. That's true. You know, it's all a competition. Yeah. And they're right. But I like how Kilda reacts. Because she's like, my guess we're like, what? She's huge. She is huge. She has a big impact, huh?

I like Rachel that goes, how dare did she? She's here. Two hours late and then in the middle, fuck you. Whatever. She goes, whatever happened to your book launch, you deserve it. Nothing happened, I think that's the problem. And so then they start reading from this book, which looks, you can sort of see in this shot how low rent the angel's book is. You know, at the book launch, we could already tell it was low rent, like a low rent paperback, but here

there was something you could really tell it was some sort of, she went to kinkos or something to get this. It was like the same online self publishing thing that noblemen uses. It's like this huge magazine. It's like Vista print or something. Yeah. So, Guild is reading through, like what, apparently his book is just nothing but empty platitudes or stupid things.

Well, we heard her shit She's like, let me read from a bit of the book be happy Smile Don't be sad Moose your legs so when gilders reading it as she's I totally unenthusiast She's like enjoy little things play your favorite pick some fresh flowers, and take a hot bath. What if you don't have a bath? You can't be real.

Hmm. It's not even a hot bath. That's how lame this book is. It's like have bath. Yeah. She's like, what is this? Biotell. So next, Julia and Angela, Julia and Angela go over to Teyalei Owni's store, which I guess she owns when she's not filming that secretary of state show. Yeah, this place, the way Angela, the way Angela described, she goes, I think it was called like, Bordot, something of Bordot, but she goes, today we're going to go antique, and Bordot and Bordot and Bordot and Papara.

I was like, what? Yeah. We're gonna go antiquin but don't know to budur to papara. I was like what? Yeah, but that the is that the famous street that Louise lives on Parapah drives She lives on the most populous street in Auckland It's like some weird religion to yell the God It's like some weird religion to yell the God. Wait, wait. It's like such a special place that you automatically speak in tongues just in describing it. Exactly.

Could you write this down? So, Angela is like, we're in a stall because we've been invited to a birthday party, Miss Shale's birthday party. Do I want to go after how she treated me when she yelled at me for walking? It's like, okay, okay book on tape. Get to it. And notice that they always make a big deal about being invited somewhere. They're always like and invited me to go to be cuts with her. And it's like Michelle invited me to go to the store to look at chairs with her.

Julian invited me to go and to get it. It's like, yes, you just say you're going and to eat. Like it's like, we're this excessive spotlight on invitations is getting old. Luckily, it's the show. It's like when you make it to do lists and you're like, wake up. Then nine o'clock, take a shower.

That's not a to do list, okay? That's just regular life. I've been invited. I was invited to check out when I went to the grocery store. No, you weren't! I was invited to pay with either Visa, Massacard or PayPal. I still trumped them when I brought up Apple Pay. Now, here's a question. So Michelle and Julia, they're trying to buy birthday gifts for Michelle's birthday. And they go to an antique shop already. I don't know if about you, but I already picked up a past-aggressive vibe about this because Michelle's house is famously very modern and contemporary.

There's no room for antiques in it. So they're already buying or something totally inappropriate for her home. Yeah, but I think it's just wherever they can film because no one in Auckland wants them. Taya Leoni knows they are gonna spend money. She's like, uh, hello. Hello poor people pretending to know what antiques are.

What do you want? Yeah, she tries to scare them off with a $20,000 Louis Vuitton hat box from, you know a $20,000 Louis Vuitton hat box from 1445 Yeah, and that's not even the real price. Yeah, you know, she's just making it up. She's like it's 28 grand and she goes Yeah, yeah, it was from Etsy. She just wants to get these women out of the store and then angels like Julien, I found these beautiful candor lopras from the 17th century. Yeah. It was like that metal distress ship from Hobby Lobby.

They're disgusting. Yeah. They're like, just put those in the bag. We can get those for free. How much do we get to spend in this store for showing your sign at the beginning of the same tear. Also, we don't really, if they pick up two candle labras and the woman in the store says, oh, these are two beautiful candle labras that Michael, well, we don't need to cut away to Angela saying, oh, we found some candle labras. We saw it. We saw it happen. And then Angela, Angela decided she's just going to be mad now, which is great. Yeah, she's like Michelle needs to wake up. And Lou is having a meltdown because she's got a sadness in her life.

She's not being real. She wishes she was still telling people things on the tally, but she's not in. She's old. It's like, oh my God. I know. I just came out with a book about accepting yourself and now you're age-shaming somebody, come on.

Exactly, and Julia's like, well, well, first day started talking about how Louise said, at one point, that Michelle is a gold digger, is gonna bleed her husband dry. And so Julia's, of course, telling Angela that, because Julia's the biggest gossip. And then Julia's like, says this of Louise, she says, she's in a twilight years pumping a cell full of silicone.

I'm like, your face looks like a sock puppet made of a baseball mitt, okay. Don't talk about pumping your face, like twilight years and pumping your body and your face to silicone and Botox. And didn't she just take Louise to watch her get something done? And she's like, do I look good?

Yeah, and they were like, no, not really. You look like you're doing, actually. You literally injected your own blood into your face. And you're now gonna slam Louise for getting some nips and tucks. Yeah, age shaming. Age shaming. Dumb by dumb people.

Yeah. And you're old. Yeah. Who are you? You get when a teenager does that. They're like, come on old man. You're like, you'll get yours. Yeah. And you're old. Like, who are you? Like, you get when a teenager does it. You're like, come on old man. You're like, you'll get yours. Yeah. Some other old person, you're like, what are you? A year younger? Come on. Yeah. Exactly. Um, your little giraffe bikini catwalk thing is not fooling us. We know what age you are. Yes. Now that said,

Louise is it fought for everything they're saying. Like, they're technically right. Like, you get a couple of glasses of wine into that Louise. Who do? She was like, yeah, if she's bleeding him drawing, if they even have any money left over, and when they don't, let's see how she reacts then, shall we? Well, she wrong, though.

Listen, if Michelle has the right to tell Angela Well, are you a plus size model and she's like, no, I'm just saying because you would not be like you can't be a normal size model You're a plus size. That's just what you are. It's not an insult. Well, sorry, Michelle. You're spending a lot of money So well if Louise said it she said it because she saw it. Yeah, and she doesn't deny it either She's not saying that they're lying. She's like what a snitch. Yeah, it's not that she shank somebody It's it somebody told on her for shanking somebody exactly So then we get this scene of guild of meeting up with David who's Michelle's husband and they're trying to find a cake for Michelle's birthday party And did you notice that the cake was there from Gilders fridge that was in the...

Yes, I was wondering where I was like, wait a second, I recognize that cake. Yes, they probably went there first before they shot that scene. Yeah, don't use a unique bond bond with net thing with a little or bond bond on top and expect us not to notice. Yeah, we have eyes for chocolate bombs, okay? We do. Exactly. So does he.

He's like, can I have a sample? He wants his cake. Yeah, so there's just one of those people that just eats everything. And with his mouth open, it's kind of coming out and he'll just like, oh, well, you know, your rich husband. So okay, napkin, napkin, a napkin.

So what sort of cake does Michelle like? And he's like, uh, he's like, I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah, the gum, the gum flavored, you know, the gum flavored cake or whatever. Flavored, you know what I'm saying. I don't have any notes. I don't have any notes for the scene.

I just saw that they were eating desserts. And I think I I got hungry. Yeah, I had a cake conspiracy. The cake has been somewhere. It's very strong. Yeah, strong, like this is where she decided that she needs to have Michelle over, or those ladies over to sit in the chandelier room,

and eat cake. It's funny because when they walked into that place, I actually thought it was the same place at first that she had her book launch So I was already building my own conspiracy So I think I got distracted from the larger chocolate bomb cake Yeah, it's like on lawn order when they use all the same actors in different episodes Dong dong that's that's guilty. Yeah, yeah, Donna McKecney always did it in my mind

But then sometimes she's the lawyer too. And I'm like, wait, I mean, I saw this on Matt Lock. All right, let's skip this scene because I'll stay in a cake store forever like that. Yeah. So let's go over to the radio where we're at radio live with Mike Peru and and Louise is there because she has a new gig where she is going to be doing overnight at this radio station, talk radio. So we can tell that, you know, she's ready for business because she's wearing her smart glasses with a thick rims today, you know. Yeah, she's like, I'm reading. Don't you worry, I've got papers to shuffle.

2020, 60 minutes. All used to be a correspond for 60 minutes, but now that Oprah's taken over, I'm here on Radio Zealands. When I used to drive the catering truck around at work, I would listen to talk radio. And on the weekend, I heard Heather's first KFI stand in for somebody. Oh, yeah. Heather, Jebrow.

Yeah. And this reminded me of that. She's like, hi. You know, I really like Sunshine. Isn't it nice out there today? She was like, what do you talking about, you know? Yeah, and that's Louise. She had nothing to talk about.

Yeah, because she gets on there. And first of all, I love the radio announcer comes on. It's like, this is the overnoito with guest taste, Louise Wallace. And you can tell she in her mind she's like, all right. Dude, the tunnel pose, tunnel pose. Oh, damn it. It's radiate. Headache, headache, crushing headache.

Alright, now you're happy running through a field. You see how quick I can sing in 20 seconds. Blight and white flesh back to earlier today when the children were running around the kitchen and I just couldn't deal with life, robbing the temples, robbing the temples, and their life is good. Balloon ride. Alright, is this a part where I tell you that I need you to add in the graphic of the veins going from my brain all the way down to my gut to be inflamed?

Well, I'm sad. And then healing when I'm happy. Alright, is this the part where I walk across a floor, but it's not a real floor, it's more like a bunch of lines and a grid, and a scientific grid, like I'm a floor, but it's not a real floor. It's more like a bunch of lines and greed and a scientific greed, like I'm in space, but instead of space, it's a scientific diagram, but I'm walking through it. Is that my pot right now? That is way more prepped than she gave this job.

It seems like where's my spot? They're like, it's the chair. Like, she literally at the beginning went, oh, I have to move in front of the microphone. And he was like, yes! She was sitting like in the middle of the table. Like she literally at the beginning went, oh, I have to move in front of the microphone. And he was like, yes. She was sitting like in the middle of the table. She had to move over.

I'm just so used to projecting in the theater. I'm treating the microphone like it's the third balcony. The tickets may have been less expensive, but they were just as expensive to those audience members. I look out at the radio dials and I see nothing but legends. I see Lady Macbeth. Clotter Mastra. Blanche Du Bois. And Anne. Oh Anne, what's you doing here? Anne. Hello! Anne's waving. She's like, Hi, hi, can you see me?

She's doing a show. Okay. She's not only is she doing a show, we then cut, because Anne does show up. We're not just joking. It cuts to an interview segment where Anne goes, tonight, Louise is doing a radio show. I'm like, really no shit sure a lot.

We've been watching it for five minutes. We know you just got here, okay, but we've been here. And I like that Louise didn't even hide it. She's like, well, I have nothing to say. So I've called my friend Ann because she could talk the leg off a chair. So she gets Ann over him. And I was like, I love champagne. Oh, can you believe it? These youngsters come. And they're like, the only thing I like more than champagne is that handsome American president, Mr. Donald Trump, who I met years ago when I was starting a snake skin imporium, which is she, this is apparently is true story. What's more revolting, her starting a snake skin and poor him of finding Trump hot. Because

every time we hear about Trump on these shows, all the ladies act like, I'm not talking about that. Of course, I fucked him. Of course, like with their eyes are like, of course, I do. She's like, snake skin and poor him. So then, so then a collar calls up because like they've got no calls and he's like, I'll

hide to be the bear or bad knees But you're not very relatable on the air there a little bit removed from culture talking about champagne and how you like President Trump it's not very relatable at all. It's like Angela. What did you do to your voice? I would just like you to be real run through a field take a walk smile It's like Wait a minute. But I love the angry old guy calling into the overnighter. Yeah, it's very removed from the troubles of New Zealand, champagne and bubbles. I'm sure you're both lovely, but these real problems and Louise is like, well, I guess

you just don't get it. And Anne goes, he felt we were totally removed from the general public. I'm like, yes, he just said that. He just just said that. But the real problems are too many sheep, too many sheep. What do we do with all these sheep in New Zealand? Can you believe that girl taking all of her husband's money, bleeding him dry, it's like, this is not the news, Louise.

In other news, all New Zealanders are mandated to have circular doors from here on out. Louise, that's, that's, no, that's just habits. I'm gonna tell you three things, you decide what's real. So she doesn't even care because like, who's listening except that angry guy. So she's like that guy's an idiot. Oh, I like when she goes. Yeah, she goes, do you like champagne? You don't get your mad about this conversation. Do you like champagne?

And he's like, I love clicko, but that's not the point. And Angus clicko., figures. Ah, ah, ah, ah. I'm a former journalist. I can ask a probing question, sir. Do you not like champagne? Do you not like champagne? You are the weakest link. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, bring. We are the 20-20, whatever the sound is.

Oh, God. It's on my resume. You have a weakest caller. Good boy. So then we You have a weakest kova. Good boy. So then we transition to a brand new scene and this is what we're talking about at the top of the show. Transition to a new scene in the music. Broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, do we have two different tracks? Like, why do we have to have specific music to watch the sun go down in Auckland and rise again? And then different music for the drone shot over trees.

You can save your templates in Garage Man, okay? I make fun of them, but I use them all the time. It's important to save your template. Don't just be dragging random things because they'll match the beat for you Because you're totally right like So then everyone's like well, it's Michelle it's Michelle's bit. They shouldn't be having a party Michelle's bit and like yes You guys have been planning for this birthday for the first 25 minutes of this show.

You don't have to announce it again now. So he's gonna be so surprised about a birthday. I'm like, no, she's not. They're dressed like they're going to church, okay? And she's like, it's helicopter. Oh, what a beautiful day for a helicopter. And they fly over the location. And she's like, I see something that's

it, isn't it? I'm like, yes, in the middle of a lake and all those trees, there's one building. Like, what do you think is going to take you down to between the trees? Come on. Yeah, they are really the masters of the obvious on this show. I mean, blindfolds her. It's like you should have done that before the helicopter. Yeah, it's from a single style yeah of course so meanwhile down on on planet earth uh... guilden Louise arrive at the party house and then eventually and in

Julia and in Julia and then i'm actually no and arrived separately and then Julia and Angela show up in a car with lia the french intern and here's an example where they do change the music but this was funny because there you know, you know, they're in this Porsche. And so Leah, the intern stuffed in the back. And when she has to get out of the Porsche, the producers fully change the music to this, like patronizing silly accordion music that they've been playing all season for her. And just so funny. This poor girl's trying to get everything going wrong for a Glee Betty, but everyone thinks she's so cute. But at the same time, you're like, you can't get out of the backseat. Like, I know that you're dumb, but you don't

know how to pull up the lever and push forward the seat and get out. Come on. Even Angela's like, need a hand, Leah? Need a hand? Okay. Oh, so speaking of catering, this was a total cheapo catering party. It's like some rented house, and when Michelle walked in, she said, it smells like a school house. It's like the cheapest place on the day rental on Airbnb or whatever. So, yeah, they're all milling about the helicopter finally lands. They put this blindfold on, and they start walking her in, and as Michelle approaches the house.

Gild is trying to quiet everyone down and just start sneezing. I don't know why but she's just sneezing and she won't stop and Gild is getting so annoyed. She's like, on, on. What's wrong with the moral? Come on, the sneezes in. Too many sneezes. On, on. the sneezes and ah too many sneezes ah ah ah we were waiting for we were waiting for the guest of honor to come in and get her surprise and we needed to be quiet and but then and started sneezing and then she started sneezing

again and well it makes sense that she has a sneezing fit in this in this serious finale because it's what the entire season has been leading up to we just didn't realize every time She laughed and she's saying ah ah ah she was actually leading up to his knees ah ah ah ah too ah ah ah ah too so stupid and when we just like don't try and take my role I

L.O.J.'s got you down. Don't worry. I can be a sympathetic neighbor with a with a helpful tip. Use code crap is low 30 So Michelle comes in and she's like, my shoes are too high. Shut up. Okay. You're rich. Congratulations. Yeah. Yeah And congratulations to your husband who has a hot, funny wife and also got to eat 30 desserts yesterday. I'm like, has to make no effort.

Like rats, you both. Like, you're a happy feel. Yeah, congrats. So they go in and she's like, oh my god, I'm so surprised. It smells like pee in here. And it's like a Rand O'Pay's in their best, you know, like office Christmas party dresses.

Exactly. And as much as we love Gilda, I have to say, she is a shitty surprise party surpriseer because Michelle didn't really have her, for some reasons, you couldn't get her stupid bandana off. I don't know why. So she couldn't get it off and at a certain point, Gilda's like, I don't want to wait anymore. Surprise. Surprise girl. But Gilda didn't even have to do the hard part. There was a helicopter already. Okay, you rented like a tiny little house. Come on. Surprise. And Michelle wasn't, you know, thrilled. But at housewives, you have lines like you don't get to yell at somebody at their own birthday, right? Right. That's not nice. On a house

I've show you do, yeah. You have to be more passive aggressive. You can't be like, well, the meeting has come to order. I'm gonna yell at you. Like you have to pretend that you care that it's your birthday, right? Yeah, yeah, you do. But we're talking about Auckland, sorry.

Exactly. So the women all go forward and they give Michelle a big hug, but Angela hangs back. And Michelle just gives her this very cold wave And then Michelle just sort of gets she's like, I can't believe this party. There's everything here the people There's all derves. There's my sculpture and the shape of M M. That's my first initial since Michelle very exciting There's a bus stop post a model You know, by the way,

the model here. You know, they probably stole that ice sculpture from someone named Wendell. Let's tune it upside down. No one will live in them. It's an M. He made such an effort. The ice sculpture is an M. I'm like a letter. But the ice sculpture is an M. I'm like a letter. He literally stole it from a larger word, ice sculpture. Yeah, it's like those Bethany letters that are in target still. And they're like, we have five letters on sale. What can you guys make out of this?

Honestly, there's some party in New Zealand where a woman walking in and she's wondering why her ice sculpture says Arria Well, you know one thing that I was not present at this birthday Which I think that someone should have gotten from Michelle because it was her birthday is Perhaps the most beautiful gift you could give a person. A Casper mattress. Oh my God, bin. Yeah, how was that for a Segway? How was that for a Segway into a Casper mattress land?

Well, I listened to a lot of podcasts. Yeah. And they talk about the Casper, you know? So when we do it, it's like, oh, it's a Casper mattress. Nope. It's special. You know what, Ronnie, I'm not sensing a lot of authenticity from you. I think if you're gonna be talking about the Casper mattress I need you to be real

Walk Lie down if you're tired on your Casper mattress Rail over make a star pattern with your hands and your feet on your Casper mattress Drink some water How many hands for mattress? fluff a pillow and then put your head on it on your kiss the mattress and Bend nose why ban? Because I own one and I'm being real because I sleep on my kiss mattress every night of the Wii S

And this was not a free Casper mattress. This was many aspirin commercials over the years. I use all my royalties from an exagerant commercial to buy my Casper mattress. And guess what? My royalties are tiny. And that's why the Casper mattress is so great, because it's affordable.

Oh, there. They're going to be so proud of this read through I'm really just right now as I actually did get I actually bought this mattress This was not a freebie that was sent by a sponsor. I paid money I don't know if anyone remembers the story But I got drunk in Weco and at 2 a.m. I decided I wanted a new mattress and Casper was our new sponsor and I said I wanted a new mattress and Casper was our new sponsor and I said, fuck it. I'm buying a Casper mattress because there are new sponsors, it was 2am and I bought it when I was drunk. Okay. And it showed up. It showed up in my apartment like four days later,

which I thought was also kind of crazy. And I've been sleeping well ever since. I'm being real. He's being real. Yeah, because we talk about the stuff we like, and you did. You talked about that Casper mattress. You were like, here's how I slept last night. Yeah. I said, I adjusted to the pure comfort and beauty

of my Casper mattress. I still do. I really, I really enjoy it. But here's the important stuff that they want us to talk about. Casper makes a premium mattress and sells it online for a fraction of what would cost him a store. Yes, they sure do. With an average of 4.8 out of 5 stars across more than 30,000 global worthies,

it's quickly becoming the internet's favorite mattress. Yeah. Their business works by continuously, continuously developing their mattress using feedback of nearly half a million customers, like me. Yep. Like being like me. I'm being real. The New York Times said Casper is changing the way people shop for mattresses because it is online, but you get it, you try it, and you have a trial period. Yeah. So, uh, uh, uh, that business works by, did you like that preliminary laugh? That business works.

I'm, that business works by continuously developing the mattress using feedback of nearly half a million customers. And perhaps a few pussy's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Pussy! Mitchell pussy on your Casper mattress, ah-a-a-a-a! My Mr. Tinkle Winkle on his last night on this earth, I said come on the Casper mattress and enjoy your transition into the next land, income-fart! Ah, what a great cat he was! A-a-a-a!

One of the little tiny portraits on a coffin of Guido, the black horny cat, is Guido curled up on his Casper mattress. Ah ah ah! I only wish Mrs. Butter Scotch only knew how easy it was to buy a Casper. I ordered online as delivered here at honor count comeback box and free shipping and free returns. So go buy wine for $50 towards any mattress purchase. www.caspadotcom slashcrippings. Yeah, www.caspadotcom slash crappings. And by the way, it's only available in the US Canada and now the UK so people in New Zealand, sorry. Soon. Soon. Soon.

Just wait. Yeah, dream of your kiss, Bermatrice. It'll come to you. Be real. Be real. Be real. Okay. You go girl.

Alright. Yes, we're really just like enjoying this recap. Podcasts. We're leaning into it. We are, I'm going to lean into it. Our last Auckland. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Oh, I thought you were gonna say, I thought you were gonna like finish your sentence. No, it's our last Auckland, so we're leaning into it.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say, we're in my last, darling. Darling, darling. So anyway, we're back to this birthday party and Michelle has decided that she wants to be mad about something so she's mad that Angela didn't come up to her and say hello which I guess is yeah it is it is a little ungracious and and they're also all wondering why the hell is Leah the intern there which is a fair question she's like you know she seems like a nice girl

but we're not friends like look around who are you friends with here? Yeah, that's true, too So so Angela's now bitching about Louise and Angela is she's ready to fight with Louise today and She's she's raring up Yeah, and Anne will just go along with it, you know, she'll just give you a few Uh-uh-uh. She doesn't have to fight Louise's battle, you know She's just getting drunk. Yes, and doesn't she tell her is this where she tells her am I slurring? No, but that's the That does eventually happen. So it doesn't really matter where it happens Am I slur a bit now now

Am I slow down a bit now? Now? I'm done, dude, all. Now. I'm done, dude, all. And Michelle tells her, yes, a bit. Yes, you are. Maybe get it together. Just a bit, just a bit.

So Louise drifts over to Angela and Julia. And this is where the conflict begins. Angela goes, oh, I feel the need. It actually clear the ear with you. And so Louise is like, all right, let's get going. Let's come on. Angela goes, I feel the need actually clear the ear with you. And so Louise is like, all right, let's get going, let's come on. She's like, I feel like I'm getting smashed by you, Louise, all the time. Just absolutely smashed.

And my book launch everywhere. I just don't know why you are incapable of sitting in a pile of dead leaves and throwing them above your head and being real. I feel like a fingering potato with garlic and butter on it being smashed. He's made a smish of me. So Louise has had a couple glasses. Yeah. So she's like, all right, then the cards are on the table. I was like, whoa.

Here we go. Louise probing journalists. So she said, you said we were rude at your party. And she said, yes, my friend said so. And she goes, well, they must have ears like the $6 million ban if they could hear that. Is it with the whisper? Yeah.

Nice Lee Majors burn. In answer, it's like, well, they do have good ears. They're from Christchurch. Perhaps you've never heard of the elves of New Zealand. Perhaps you've never seen the Lord of the Rings. And those aren't your friends. Yeah, they can tell you when it's going to rain three hours before. People from Christchurch can hear, okay. So Louise is like whatever you know

that's so obviously just Julia yeah yeah it's totally Julia and Julia is trying to like and Julia's poking the situation too and then finally Louise turns to Julia goes Julia honest to gold just because you get yourself in the shit every five minutes what do you have to smear it on me? She's always talking like she's been to prison. Well, half the thing she says doesn't really make sense. She's like, I mean, she was like a cantaloupe on a rollercoaster. She's essentially the quad of New Zealand. Yeah, she's like a super well-spoken quad. That's rolling off faster than a watch on a walrus tusk. But I like that she knows how to just slam Julia. She's like,

honest to God. I mean, it's because you're so stupid. You've got no brains. You like kids at primary school. Here's here's here's here's yes. And Julia's like, well, I could tell she was found out because she started to get made. Thanks. Great answer for the update. Yeah. So she's still trying to be like, just say it to her face if you want to be a bitch.

And Louise is like, I should be able to be a bitch behind people's backs all the time because like duh. I'm old so burned it Yes, so Louise Julia and Michelle so now mouth Michelle's in it. Yeah, and Louise like she's a snitch Snitches get stitches and people on the wall and Michelle's like, oh, she's a snitch And me while she also she also mentions a slitch. And meanwhile she also mentions, Lewis is like, I told her, if your friends could hear me, they must have the ears of the $6 million man. And they're like, $6 million man, what a great reference. Gil Lucas, you remember that program? That was my favorite

program growing up, $6 million man. But I thought they're loved it. I promised that I would marry the $6 million man sometime, but I did not realize it was merely just a name and it was not about his net value. It had $6 million, but it was years, eh? So Michelle's getting worked up now, right? So she's like, I see them squabbling. She's just going on now and then they cut to Angela like doing Lydia arms in the air.

Like what is Angela even talking about? She's like waving her arms in the air. And then there was a fireball. What? So this makes Michelle even more mad because she's like look the arms in the air. So then Gilder comes up and she's like how are you girls? Can I tell you something? I think Michelle is upset. You haven't even said hello. How could you come to this party? I think she very upset that you didn't say anything you girls and so then and so I don't even remember there was such a flurry of activity, but because this is where Gildi got very She was like drunk and angry and she's just like, you know what? It's last day of shooting. I'm just gonna say everything on my mind right now Yeah, and she'll stay calm like she gives you the chance.

She's like, you could just say you're wrong and go say sorry, and I'll be nice to you, or I'll rip you down publicly. Which would you prefer? Yeah, because this was very much like an elaborately staged play, because all my notes are like, guilded a walk's over, then Angela walks away, and then Julia walks away, then Angela walks away. I was like, it's like hard for me to remember the blocking in my head even though I saw this

like two hours ago. Because it was one room. Yeah. So yeah, it's too much. I usually between scenes I put lines and this one is just a wall of text. So let's just go to the part where they're like, let's go into the other room. Um, well, fight. Yes. Well, because Guilder, well, there was, well, this point somewhere in here, Guilder, Guilder says that Louise was being real. And so then Guilder says this thing, and if you think you're of stature of being all about humility and morality and being the most amazing being that ever existed. And Julie, because what's she talking about? I'm very moral. I'm completely moral.

When I say the N word, I mean it in the best possible way. Oh my God. So yeah, so she's like, you're stupid and you have no brains, eh? Because you're a dumb whore. You know, like when she gets mean, she gets really mean. So Julie is like, what did I even do? So she runs out crying and Angela stomps off after her and her litter dress at like 1pm. Well, I did love by the way, sorry to like dial it back a little bit, but I love when when Kilda and Julia are talking about all this stuff and Julia, Julia declares that Louise has had bad behavior that needs to be like called out and And guilty goes bad behavior who the fuck made you the judge

Julia's like why you say you against me because you're fucking idiot. Oh, I'm an idiot. Absolutely Hey, many reasons do you need? You're stupid go away. You probably still haven't figured out how many licks it takes to get the middle of a tootsie roll pop thing I don't know I don't need you would never even think about studying that science huh? So Julia's like I don't know what to do so I'm gonna fake cry and run off because that was like the worst fake cry we've seen and we saw some bad fake crying like really this week from Tamra

Okay, yeah, and how you're gonna start acting like a victim. I thought when she says I don't even understand what I did Yeah, yes you do Then then Angela runs off and then goes like and you can go off with her Yeah, you two typical birds of a feather flock together Typical birds of a feather flock together So then amplas like guilders climbed into Julia in the most disgusting way so they're out there like victimizing each other Yeah, and Louise is gossiping with Michelle inside, you know, and she's like well this awful girl blah blah blah Tells of the thing and then she's like well who cares I just want to hang with my mates.

And it's like all these strangers around like, okay, lady. Go rant over by the husband eating the fucking donut over at the catering table, okay? So meanwhile, outside, Angela has decided that she wants to go, she wants to go after Louise for talking shit about her book launch. So she's just gonna turn Julia against Louise. So she's like, I have a feeling that it's Louise

who's been winding up gilder. So I think Louise, I think it's time for us to say something to Louise, do you wanna do it? Let's go do it. So they charge inside. Do you hear the ladies outside my window, by the way? Can you hear them? I heard a squeak, what was that?

It's the ladies, there's these drunk ladies out there anyway Yeah, you go girls you go so girls you go to a stay drunk and you're all So anyway, so now this is where Anne's like I'm a drunk and so they all go into the other room at long last We're now in the other room for the next fight Because it's very like Game of Thrones. Yeah, it's like now we present the gifts to the Queen. Like who brings gifts? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I think that like, you know, when you, it's, when you're at a certain age, you sort of don't bring gifts to birthday parties. I mean, you can, but it's like when you're a kid, you always bring gifts. But I think when you're an adult and you throw a party, maybe people might it's at your house up ring wine or something or maybe they'll give you a card Some people give gifts, but it's not customary because I know I sure as hell have knock out and they give them a long time People oh hell no me and my friends don't do that like the gift is like you showed up and you bought them a friend I think when you get older people have understand that everyone's time is precious because your time becomes more precious when you're older

So the fact that someone takes time to come and like celebrate with you and drink with you and have fun with you Yeah, but I love that and I didn't Angela start out with her. She's like well gifts. We're going to bestow on you two Candelabras that have from the 17th century or However, she described it and Michelle's like, uh, thanks. And then she tells us, what are these antiques? Yes, they're antiques. They're from the 17th century. She's mad.

She was rolled off the assembly line. Yeah, she's like, these are used. Yeah, the way she's like, it was one of the most hideous things I've ever seen in my life. Believe me, I've been in central casting. And man, it's like, there's things are ugly. And I was in the 17th century. They were ugly there too. Ah, ah, ah, ah. By the way, what's Leah doing here again?

And just like, well, she's going back to France in a few days. And I know how much she loves all of you and you all love her. So I thought, I'd give you guys one last chance to see her poor scared little face who can't drive. They were like, okay. It's the last chance for a soldier to hear this music. Lea walked to that side of the room. And it's like, dude, um doodum, doodum. Yeah, that was my attempt at an accordion.

So then Anne presents her gift, which is great because she's one of those women that when she gets drunk her hair gets messy. Yeah. It is like, I don't know what it is. There are some women, the moment that buzz comes on, they don't even have to touch their hair and just becomes a shovel and she's like ah this is bald is very very special bottle ha ha ha ha ha it came from the council Monte Cristo ah ah ah what wait a minute what she's like this came from account liberty mr.ppity, Mr. Flippity button would always nestle his little head on the other bottle

before he'd walk out and catch his mouse at the night. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Missiles like gross. So yeah, and it's like thanks for grabbing something on the way out your door, Am. The lady who loves to say, it's like me, here's the cigarette, I got you this. So your version. I can't believe she give her one of the firsts. I mean, Michelle is fishing for it all season long. And I given that shit up. She still remembers the price when she originally got it, you know.

Yeah. So Louise is like, I'm just trying to apply it in the background because I didn't actually get a gift. I'm like, see, that would be me. Yeah, but you guys would know if you're supposed to bring a gift. Louise would know. Yeah. Yeah. So she's like, I didn't do it. So she's like, darling, I would like to take you to lunch anywhere you'd like for your birthday. That sounds like it's the best to me. Yeah. And then Angel's like, I'm sick of getting away with this behavior. I'm like, yeah, that very gracious behavior. Yeah, you created an insta post for a fucking cantalobra. And now your man and a lady who's gonna actually buy lunch.

It's not a pantal雙. Yeah, exactly. So now Angel's trying to confront Louise again. And so Louise is just like, she puts on her best excedrin slash 60 minutes voice, because I cannot be bothered continuing this conversation And that came from my dire fram like Diana rig It's time in the show where we turn it over to Andy Rooney Andy Now Angela before you have any other problems with me. I'd like to pass around this basket for Broadway cares anyone can donate

Antilla has prepared for this fight and still this is her line stupid Angela. She goes you know what Louise if you hold up a mirror What do you see you see yourself? I wrote down that also like that's really profound Wow Yeah, so Louise is like fuck it. I'm drunk, you know I've seen some deluded people in my life I had to show makeup room with Leslie's soul. Sorry, you were saying.

Diane Sawyer. She's just as exhausted in real life as she is on the television. It's like if you can't handle it, go home. I have a migraine. I'm in Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes. This is what passes journalism these days. I was a star on that show. I was brilliant. So she says, oh, so this is how you talk about your friends.

If you saw yourself in the mirror, you'd see yourself talking about all your friends. And she's like, yeah, not my friend. You go, Boliterant Louise. Yeah, exactly. You pretended like it. Did you pretend to be with your friends? She's like, yes, yes, I did. It's called acting. Stella Adela. Acting. It's like, what do you mean? That entire one hour that I was at your home on a couch, showing you my book covers, you were faking a relationship.

It's like, okay, you didn't go to college together, you know? Yeah, exactly. So Julia's like, I have something to say. So Michelle, Louise says that you're the biggest gold league of all and once you believe David dry, you'll be off. And then Michelle turns to Louise. Michelle, by the way, is a very bad actress. You can almost, you can see that like there was, she was prepared for this or et cetera. She's a very bad actress. She turns Louise's like, what? Did you say that? Did you Louise? Did you say that? Louise's like, I did say that. Yes, guilty is charged. Yeah, not going to be good, but I like that Michelle got a little defensive.

It's like this is the first time someone said that or he heard that because he's like me bleeding him dry That makes my husband sound like an idiot Like he wouldn't know. Oh, good. This is a man who didn't even know what sort of cake you'd like after 17 years Okay, so let's like hold off on defending his smarts He knew I didn't eat cake if that's not love, I don't know what is. And Luis is like, listen, Michelle. I say it was very light-hearted. It was like a monologue for me to someone's night dream.

That I perform it in a basement somewhere. It was one monologue, many, in a glittering night of performance. It was like, what are you doing? So Michelle's piss. So she's like, oh, I'm mad. So she leaves. And then everyone's gathered around the doorway watching, we see, you know, they're watching, they're watching the fight. So he's like, what'd you leave? Go back in there. Don't let that get down, get you down. Come on, honey. Get back in there. Make it work. He's like, you're at work now, honey. Yeah. They're like rooting her on. Yeah. So Michelle's like,

ah, fine. So Michelle goes back in and Louise is like calm down. It was like school. He's bolsa. He has his cock in the till. I was like, what is that? And what did any of that just mean? Yeah. It doesn't that mean that he would have his cock at work. Like you would be fucking the secretary or something. I don't even know. I don't even know. Well, I know what a cock is and I know what a tale is. Otherwise, you lost me, Lou.

So then Anne is like the drunken voice of reason. She's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Michelle, I think that all that she meant was that you liked to spain. And who here doesn't like to spend, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that is true. Yeah. Well, when you put it that way, it's not so bad. You know, who is it's like, Oh, so you're going to get mad at the phrasing of the play. So get mad at the play or the performer get mad at yourself for being ballad because you are moved by my performance. So now they kind of don't really know what to do because Louise has just admitted it. She's like I did say it like what do you want me to say? Yeah. Call to a ho shocker still like you.

And Angel is getting annoyed because Michelle's like, oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. I see that never mind. So Angel's just annoyed. She's the worst. So you're not going to get them to jump on your side because that's gross. You know, so it's like, okay, Louise was really mean she's still better than you. Anything else. So then, um, so now Gilda goes back to doing what she does best, which is calling Angel a stupid. Yes. You Angela stupid. Yes. Your stupid. And now she's slurring. Yeah. Oh, look at you, Guilda.

You're out of control. And Anne goes, she is just being real. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, drink and she's like, you have another drink, you shardon a whore? And I'm just like, guilty, you're very opinionated and guilty. Like guess what? News flash every person's opinionated, it's called being a person with a brain in their head. If you're not opinionated, then I'm sorry to tell you, you are a vegetable. You are available. And this is totally true, but she's so mean and the way she's hanging it. And Angela's like, opinions have dashy. So they go outside and like try and cry some more.

It's like girls, you can keep going outside as many times as you want. Yeah. And Angela's like, she's never going to like someone like me. I'm everything she's not. I'm like, so you're a fake, you Angela's like, she's never going to like someone like me. I'm everything she's not. I'm like, so you're a fake, you're a fraud, you're not that bright, and people don't like you. Correct. Yeah, as we called in the first episode, you're the reason that self-help books are written. Okay. And Angela's trying to, and Angela's trying to gaslight Gilda, but it's not working. She's like,

she keeps saying, you're out of control Gilda. You're out of control Gilda. And Gilda's like, yeah, because I'm standing in front of a stupid beast like you. I'm nice to to snakes and I'm nice to dogs. What did she say? It was like some weird saying. Yeah, she said, well, she said later on. She said that. She said, I'm not nice to snakes But I cut all the dogs so you choose what you want to be She said that later on but so Louise either either or a so Lou and then Louise is going after Julia and And Angela she's like Louise is like The only person that we've had any trouble with the group dynamic is you and then she's to say Angela

She's like you have set out to destroy this party. But guess what? I'm on claritan, and I can't be destroyed, not by you and not by allergies. You're sad. You're sad, Claude? Has turned into a happy clad that follows me wherever I go. My insomnia has been cured. I no longer have that little insomnia cat walking around on my bed.

Now I have pithic sleep. So the last dig the Angela has as well. At least I didn't have a scientist right my book. What? That's supposed to be bad. Yeah. Wow. It was this girl.

Like God forbid someone from the scientific community writes something to give. Give Guilder's books more of heracity. Did you not see me going through with the pen and post it? So in the other room, Angela is now fuming and she's saying, you know, she has to wear the, she has to wear these clothing with a be all that's because it's what makes it feel good I'm like bitch, you're the one who did a topless Photoshoot and on top of that you probably have something in your book that says wearing outfit that you like Yeah, exactly show your boobs who cares. Why wouldn't you want to look at yeah?

So she really tried I have to give her the credit and I also have to give credit to Gilda for just Unleashing properly at least once where she's just, you know, really mean. I loved it. Yeah, I appreciate it. And then at this point, then the show starts doing the post scripts. And I've noticed that for these non-US ones,

they can be pretty vicious. So with Angela goes, Angela continues to work hard at growing her brand. She helps one day, it will be plus sized. Leah has her reservations. Okay. Yeah. Is Michelle.

After the worst bit, the ever Michelle has decided to spend more time with her real best friend. Mali. She's just ignoring Marley. This cannot be Michelle's worst birthday ever. At least you got to come to this one in helicopter. I mean, we could imagine some of her worst birthdays. This is not one of them. And this is where guilty goes, I'm nasty as snakes. I'm really cuddly to dogs. What do you want to be? So then Julia, that's as the update on Julia is is Julia continues to wear the pants

in her relationship while Michael still wears the ring. I'm like, what the cock ring. Oh, yeah. I was like, I don't get it. I don't get it. Louise, Louise continues to talk away out of anything, including reading Angela's book. Okay. Louise doesn't talk her way out of anything. She says, yes, I did it. You want to fight about it? Yes. Exactly. And then it cuts to Angela going,

she was as pissed as a parrot. What does that mean? Are parrots angry in New Zealand? I feel like parrots are formed to be one common mood. Like their mouth doesn't move. Like their eyes don't narrow, you know? I think their parrots are there to piss people off, not to be pissed. Eh? Eh, and there's a parrot, that's a pissed off parrot eh?

Was she the last one of those cards? No, then it goes Ann. Ann still- Ann still insists on matters and decor, I mean all the situations, Madison, Decom, in all situations, uh, but refuses to give up the word pussy, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, and who gives a shit, eh? Who gives a shit about what I'm doing now? And then the, um, in the camera sort of like pulls back,

the drone flies away from this estate, and you see like this sunsetty thing, and then you just hear Anne's laugh, but it's like a ghostly laugh with like an echo. It's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, yeah, it was like a ghost ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah What's this? So that was it a walk lint oh, I cleaned it was fun knowing you was you know Start off with the bang and it was really really good season had a little bit of a lull there and Towards the in the in the third act, but ended on a real high notes

But even the lulls, what a joy. I mean, we spent an hour 15 on this finale episode. That means we love you. God, we're crazy. Well, guess what? We're still not done because we have some business tend to that we talked about at the top of the show. How lucky are you to have me teach you about me?

We have a flame. What? So clear the flame. Have me teach you about me What so clear the flame this is a very Special segment. Yes, yes For those of you who don't know what the heck we we are talking about we were talking about Caroline Fleming Is one of the stars of the now canceled bravo show ladies of London and we are? Sort of obsessed with her and her Instagram. We cleared the flammest segment where we look at her Instagram and we read her entries, but instead of looking at her Instagram this time, we are going to look at a recipe from her upcoming cookbook, which you could win, and we mentioned before.

And this recipe was posted on the Bravo website. It's for stuffed pumpkin. Well, never mind. We'll look into it in Carolina Flaming voice. Yeah. Stuffed pumpkin pie recipe. We'll make you forget all about those basic pies and lattes. Wait, oh, are you looking at? No, I'm looking at the recipe, at the actual recipe part. Oh, I wanted to talk about our picture. Oh, okay. Okay, let's talk about the picture first.

So there's a picture that, so basically on this entry, there's a picture of Kyle and Fleming, and then there's like an article, and then below that is the recipe. That was the recipe that I was going to talk about. So let's talk about the photo first. Okay. Well, I just wanted to talk about her outfit, because she's like... No, we have to. Yeah about her outfit because she's like,

Yeah, yeah, because she's like, it is holiday meal, red dress, slit down middle, but nothing too suggestive. Clown collar, but made of roses. I'm a silly lava. Two red candles, a flame. While I played these potatoes, also known as Gavlergins near the duck Both hashtag red hashtag candles hashtag tilting

Tiny bit to the side over real dried plant work hashtag concentration hashtag per slips hashtag Where is rep at the blubriss and the strawberries and the cranberry? hashtag antibiotic handwashed to left of candles. hashtag picture soon to be filled with one of us finest pleasures. I get that recipes come out for holidays in the future, but this is like when Target puts Christmas out in September. Well, to be fair, I think this is Bravo's doing. I think Bravo's like, here's a picture of her cooking. We're gonna use this. Yeah, yeah. I'm not hating on her for it. It's just weird seeing all this red and Christmassy stuff. I'm like, you're wasting it, you're wasting it. Wasting it your way. So now if you scroll down a little bit

We come to a recipe for staffed pumpkin with nuts and Danish cheese also known as Filt bagged grisco mid-Oshch Also known as I will make them go get me some next door even though the cheeseery has been closed for 30 years Isn't it the most delicious flavor the most amazing thing happens every time I come here, they always find come to cheese for me for my stuffed pumpkin. Isn't it the most amazing thing? So the good old days, it wasn't a question of, can we eat this pumpkin?

Or is it just for carving for Halloween? Oh my God, we're going gonna get an answer to this question. Yeah, I remember the good old days. You eat pumpkins, people eat those. They were all farmed eat. I tend to always use the quote-unquote pie pumpkins, which can also be used for Halloween if it's that time of year. Pumpkin is one of my favorite vegetables. It is not. Even in its most simple form, drizzled with olive oil and coarse sea salt and baked in the oven for an hour, utterly, utterly delicious.

Hashtag double utterly. Who says their favorite vegetable is pumpkin I'm not gonna push back on that I think I'm going to accept it hey honey for dinner bell peppers squash pumpkin utterly utterly delicious. This dish is a really satisfying winter warmer, perfect for a girly dinner, or as a very fulfilling side dish to my pulled pork or roast chicken. Serves. Six. One must have one Natura Delica Pumpkin.

See already I'm like what? Natura Delica Pumpkin. How do I do that? What is that? I think it's just a pumpkin. I know, but it's only special if you get what she tells you. You can't be one of those people online who are like, well, I substituted the Argentinian, you know, slaw or whatever for, and then they complained about the recipe. Like if we're gonna do this right, I need a Natura Delica pumpkin. Actually, I think Natura, you know what's interesting

is I have now done an image search for Natura Delica pumpkin, and it looks like what shows up is not pumpkin, but it looks like Delica da squash. Yeah, the picture looks like a little squash, right? Yeah, I'm I mean, the picture on brought, well, the picture that goes with it looks like an actual cooking pumpkin, like one of those sugar pumpkins, whatever they call them. But if you do an image search for natural adelica pumpkin, it looks like

it looks like actually a cup ofia squash or a delacada squash. Well, I made you Google. In the end, it was a simple ingredient, but delacar all the same. But the rest of it's easy. Eight teaspoons olive oil. A pinch plus one teaspoon. Pink Himalayan sea salt or sea salt. So there's pine nuts. You love to have pine nuts or pink salts. Hemp seeds. There's hemp seeds. You know, she's got to get her good skin stuff in there. She's a very healthy cook this one. Yeah, this actually looks like a delicious recipe. I have it. It really good.

It's like, and then she gives you the option. She's like grated, aged, Havati, or cheddar. What's that about? Cheddar, if you are being common. I speak to all levels of pyramid. If you are going to be like, Sophie Stambri, you get Havati, if you are going to be like Juliet, cheddar cheese. The fritos left over from party America.

Whatever cheese you choose, be sure there are no creases in the cheese, thank you. Or holes. So she basically scoops out the flesh of the pumpkin and then bakes the pumpkin, gets through the seeds, bakes the pumpkin inwards. And then sauteed onion and all these seeds. And it makes like, there's a mixture. And then adds everything that's not filling and the pumpkin stuff and all this cheese inside the pumpkin. And then bakes the whole thing. So it's this big nutty, cheesy, filled pumpkin. And it looks amazing.

It looks so good. I'm excited. This is delicious on its own. nutty, cheesy, filled pumpkin. And it looks amazing. So good. I'm excited. This is delicious on its own. Or with my kale and quinoa salad on the side. I like all the links to different adventures we could be taking through this cookbook. I'm excited.

I actually bought a copy. I bought a copy, and then I reached out and we are now gonna be giving away a copy too courtesy of The publisher of flamming. It's quadruple class. Yes, so that will be coming up. Yes, so everyone Clear Flam What at 500 degrees oven preheated. My Flem is boiling.

You guys, thanks so much for listening. Tomorrow we are back with a low deck. A different day than usual. We'll be doing a Wednesday below deck. And while we go off to Chicago. Sir excited. You guys we love you. Auckland break season. Thanks for all the laughs. Yeah. Thank you. You guys we love you. Auckland break season.

Thanks for all the laughs. Yeah, thank you. And we'll talk to you tomorrow everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.