Watch What Crappens - RHOAKL: Race Tracks of Angela's Tears

Episode Date: September 16, 2017

The Real Housewives of Auckland heads to the race track for some good old fashioned driving lessons. But before things get too fast See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ranchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crapens. And to follow us on social media, go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at

patreon.com slash watch what crapens. That's patreon.com slash watch what crapens. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crapens. A podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantra Blender podcast. And joining me as usual is the hilarious

host of RosePrixBasher podcast and trashtalktv.com. Ronnie Caram, what's going on? Well, the way, Ben. How's it going? Are we, we are here, clawing our way over into Friday. Clowing. I just read some least-evander pump news on our Facebook.

So I'm still reeling. What's the news? A girl named Chelsea. It's not really me. It's a girl named Chelsea went to dinner. I guess it served her pump for somewhere. Cindy C on. Posted this. Cindy C on the case case. And she was saying she was sitting next to Lisa and Kyle having a double date with their husbands. And they weren't filming, but they were talking about the season. And

so she could hear everything they were saying. And Doreet betrays them and Lisa was crying and so she's like, can I have a picture and Lisa's like, darling, I'm crying, don't you see? So cry out to Quint instead. So Lisa was crying at the restaurant. Yeah. Wow. It's real, you guys. That is real hurt.

Wow. That is some good juicy gossip. That's great. I'm reeling. Okay, I had dare you to read. Not that I saw it coming, but still how dare you. Lisa was the only one in your corner to read. What were you thinking? Well, that's to read for you, everybody. That's a little dead-eyed to read for you. She probably doesn't even remember it. What did I see? Talk about junk about her. This this fine day we're gonna be discussing the glorious and almost over real housewives of Auckland. Let's find out.

The house of Auckland. Yeah. My name is Gina and I'm, and I'm Jayless. And I'm not in Auckland at all. Auckland has sort of, it kind of like, reached this crescendo in Port Douglas, and now I feel like it's been two episodes where nothing has really happened. We're just sort of watching these women exist and they come together for some stupid competitive activity, but it's still fine. They're still playing funny stuff in it.

This episode was very Angie heavy, which was, oh my god, it was weird. It's like feel for Angela now. Yeah, I don't know about that because the only time I've really seen Angela feel, um, like in this episode is for herself. Like, um, kind of the only time she can really feel. It's fun to answer how I'm falling for that. But I do enjoy the tradition that they've made of this show where every time the ladies go somewhere, it's like, and they all walk in a line to show off their plastic checos outfits. It's like suicide squad or something. Yeah, it's like hot or

hot commercial from like Target or whatever. Yeah, it's the mod squad. So yeah, so so this episode opens up with Angela walking through the woods with her daughter which we I don't think we've seen her teenage daughter yet and this this girl's I think 16 or so So she's walking along with her. Yeah, I wrote bridge Angela and kid who hates her Yeah, Angela's like it's gonna be a good day She's like is it mum? Well, I'm very focused But I'm also a mother and I say how we say I've got one foot in the One foot nook foot in the one foot

nookland and the other foot here in Christchurch. And the music's like, Buh, butter, butter. It's like Irish bagpipe music, which is really weird. And so you can tell she never talks to this kid because she's like, well, what's happening on the social calendar? Eva, middle child Eva.

It's like, that's not my name. My name's Adrianna. My name is Jane mum, you name me Jane. Alright, just stick with it. She's like, I've got two balls coming up. You must come to at least one mum. I need me hair make up done. So you have two balls, what the fuck is going on?

And just found. So then Angela, then we see Angela with her, both her daughters, because there's not just one miserable daughter. There's a second one who's angry at her mom for not ever being around. At this point, they're used to Angela just just jet-setting all around New Zealand. So they're just like, you know, yeah, Instagram, her Instagram likes or whatever her business is. And her kids like, well, if you come to the bowl likes or whatever her business is and her kids like well If you come to the bowl, please don't bring that sick of French bitch and get on your phone the whole time She's like, what are you talking about darling? So yeah dinner. She's like

This this time I get with my daughters is very special Okay Very special time. So girls meeting time meeting with mum time. That's me. I've been out of the loop But remember me. I'm your mum Angela. Also, I help strangers look better And they're just like ignoring her and then and then the producer asks Angela if she's suffered for being away for so much She's like, you know, I think I have I'm like actually. I think your kids have suffered You know suffered. Yeah, she's like, you know, I think I have. I'm like, uh, actually, I think your kids have suffered. You know, I suffered. Yeah, she's like, a little bit.

Like, whether fiercely independent, you know, guys, I don't want to stay away from you. And one of them goes, I don't care. And then the young one goes, it's not all fault. We don't see him. Um, or I just sorry to say it's my fault. It's my fault. Then to say it's my fault. Yes, it's your fault You just did a porn shoot somewhere last week saying the hell away from that for what for the cover of yourself published But yes, it's your fault Angela and

Then Angela starts crying about the earthquakes that if hit New Zealand and the that really bad one in 2011 the hate Christchurch so Yeah, I like really bad one in 2011 at the Hick Christchurch. So yeah, it's like, like, she's devastated to family and earthquakes. Devastate, I was like, who are we feeling for? Yeah, what is happening here? You guys need to focus my feeling here, okay? It felt like a very strange way for this franchise to insert something about that earthquake in there. They're like, well, we can't really do a full series without acknowledging that there was a devastating earthquake. So here, let's just like wedge it into

Angela's family segment. It seems to sort of be a good metaphor. Yeah. So, so then we go over to Gill, everything breaking around her. Yeah, crumbling to pieces. So then we go over to Gill, who is like, Michelle and I are very good friends so we're gonna we're good close friends So we're gonna go get close So they go friends we're very close friends you're a girl your girl Very good friends you survived the shooting, huh? Like everything's like some sexy saucy thing that she says She's like well, obviously I did survive it like good conversation guys She's like where you don't like guns or you don't like Julia, huh?

I don't like guns. I don't like guns. They kill people. I'm still wearing my yellow nail polish I'm still making that statement, but I don't like guns and get those like I'm still wearing my yellow nail polish. I'm still making that statement, but I don't like guns and get those like, well, you know, a lot of things kill people. It's not just the gas, it's not just the guns, it's cars, it's gas leaks, it's potatoes that are choked on. You know, a lot of people kill because of gas leaks.

So, a little salmonella joking, maybe talking with your mouthful, other things that kill people huh? No bad book launches you know? Right. So they talk about how competitive Julia is and killed the second. I'm not a competitive person. Competitive. Competitive.

I'm that's competitive. Like say it again that say it again. Let's see if I believe it this time, huh? So to prove I'm not competitive I've organized a race track thing so we can all win Plus I like to look at Julia's face because I know she'll get a big geek out of it And Michelle's like yeah, she'll probably be like oh, I came out of it and Michelle's like yeah she'll probably be like oh I came! Michelle you've been grosser than anybody on this show and that's saying yeah and Julia only kind of she really hasn't been that bad with that sexual stuff it's really been you who's been like who's been like projecting all this stuff on it

like Julia will be like I love ice cream oh yeah you like something creamy on your face a facial made of cream you like semen in a can? Is that what you like? She likes to swallow girls. That one's a loose cat. And it's like, oh, Feta! So, yes, the girl does like yes, well, you know. I rely on friends for support. I need you to be here for lots of my second book and it is about being real You get the joke girl So next to you, oh, yeah, this is Rowan is Anne's or Rowan is Anne's nephew

He she famously took him on editor classes before she went off to port Douglas So they are Minneapolis, Julia and Julia's daughter Ella and So Ann and and Rowan sit down at table first this little little restaurant and And it's like a lot of young men your age just don't have the attributes that you have Rowan And I'm like this feels like it should be some like precious Joan Plowwright movie, you know something that like garners Some like buzz but only gets like a supporting actress nod. That's it, you know Probably will be one day like and in her son and how they yeah Creepy aunt He's really like a serial killer and she's just you know trying to groom the wrong person. I would love that

Jump plow right needs a role like that. I know if she's still alive, but she may not see jump out plow right Run at the end where she's like what have I done? When I was a little girl, I would trade apples for kisses I believe as mandarins actually I believe as Mandarin's actually. Well, from what I gather from Papa, you've had many men. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh And he's like, I have all the good looks and I have all the good grades and that's what gets me all the good ladies. My high vocabulary gets me the girls if you know what I'm saying That was me using my vocabulary

Oh, he's just like the George Clooney version of Anne his auntie on But I'm one for the men not for the ladies Anyone want an apple? So Julia shows up with her daughter Ella who is a beautiful 13 year old girl. And Rowan is really cute. He like, he like scurries around and like pulls out Ella's chair which is very gentlemanly and unfortunately that's kind of where his gentlemanly abilities kind of came to an end. Because then the women decided to leave the two teenagers or adolescence to themselves so they could get to know each other

And it was just like super awkward because you know like row and row ends to her kid where he's when he's around an adult He knows how to charm adults and he's like like the he's like the star amongst the adults But when he's around like a girl has a age a girl who's also like sort of gone through puberty And he has and and she's like a little bit older older and she's beautiful. He's something which is like, we're sitting into his phone. And also, this girl is going to be the one with interest and I'm going to have to blow them off. But of course, he doesn't care because he's already got a girlfriend. He's like, I've got a text. He's like, my girlfriend. XO, XO, love, love, love, hot, hot, hot, hot, love you, love you, love you, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

She sent me six messages. It's like, erm, okay. Yeah, it's like, where did he learn those manners? It's so crazy to see someone with manners like that. Pulling out a chair, you don't see that now it days I was like stop pretending you 20 years old girl. I know. Nobody believe in it. Yeah So I like that Julia was start start talking about how she was a late-dater Which late-starter to dating because growing up she was she was scared more about sports than boys and I just and just goes

I wrote down eight eight. I wrote down eight, eight. I wrote down eight S's. And then Angus. She, Julia, maybe a slow starter to dating, but she's sure making up for it now. Ah. Ah. It's like you can count her serious level by the amounts of hot. She's like, ah. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Don't you ever talk anymore? I need a phone, a lot of phone business going on here.

And the kid's like, it's not the same as when you were a teenager, Mum. She's like, how? How is it different? Did you even have phones back then? We talked to each other and her and her and her. Yes! We talked. We would play Scrabble. Well, Jim Rummy, Rummy 500. and he goes, yes, we've told we would place scramble. Well, Jim Rummy, Rummy 500. I'm going to say like, I already fucked a lot of sailors in her day. He he he. Ah, ah, ah, ah, Clooney.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, sir charming. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Little Rowan here has been an emergency room doctor and two different television shows. Tell him, Rowan. So then Angela heads over to Louise's house because on Powerhawaii Drive, because she wants Louise to see some of the pages of her new book called Being Royal. So they head on over and Angela's excited because she thinks Louise might learn a few things because she has such a hard exterior. Yeah.

I brought it, would you mind? It would do Louise a lot of good. And from a career point of view, she's got a lot to learn. Oh, you're going to teach her acting, huh? Can't wait. So she opens the book and she's showing her galley. And it's the cover of her, basically her tit singing out and her not galley or whatever. Yeah, tit's opens the book and she's showing her galleys and it's the cover of her basically her tit singing out her night Yeah, whatever. Yeah, it's totally hang out and Louise is like oh

Gorgeous Well, it's all about being open and vulnerable but going with fear in pain in dealing with it in your best water bra your best water bra. It's all a bit very fairy for me. I like something a bit more serious like the copy on a Tylenol commercial. How can you make yourself relatable when you look like that photograph like that? She goes, because I keep it very real. I didn't angel like I've ever seen a dead person before It's like at least like yes I'm 70 years old of course I've seen the dead person before right half my class at least I know who did you speak to you after bye And it's like it doesn't look like anybody's home. It's crazy. It's like when someone's alive They look alive, but when they did they look did it's like congratulations. You figured out being alive versus being dead

It's like now when's home when the light is on you can see that someone Possibly is in the kitchen scene. I'm not to rob them when the light is off. You like let's take their microwave at the very least Spirituality is the thing that keeps us in cheek I like when she said instead of leading this rat like lifestyle where we're in the rat race I'm the treadmill. I've realized I'm on a treadmill and I've learned to take a foot off the treadmill And I love Louise because she will always just do the joke that you rank You know, you're like past or I won't I write you know past and then I press play again and she's like Let's face it you take a foot off your fly backwards and hit your head. Maybe it already happened

You know what I don't like Naval gazing. I don't like it, never get's all about who am I? What am I doing? Are people like me? Am I sweet enough? Have I seen a dead body today? I don't like it. And Angela, of course, doesn't know what it is.

She's like, does that mean looking in your mind? And then she reads the definition. It's like self-indulgent, self-contemplation. Well, I said, William, not that. And being real is not about like self-indulgent self-contemplation. Well, I Settling him not that and being real is not about being self-indulgent But here's a here's a book about me on the cup Here's a cup of me with my tits hanging out on a book called being real not self-indulgent is all She's like look at that out. I lived the life I like and I'm selfish and I know my faults and she goes at least you know it

She doesn't want to look at herself. That's why she is a terrific steer here And then she just like there in the talking room. She's like long cars and then she goes Bingo Such a weirdo that that long empty pause with like the frozen grin that I mean that pause was like seven seconds long. That was amazing. I mean, please, will I thought I'm sick of hearing this? I've been a journalist on 60 minutes in 2020.

I know, pray the questions. So she's like, so she's like, did you write this for you, rather women? Oh, the women, to give them ideas on how to feel more beautiful. I've endured a lot more than what others have had to, and I've had to build an exterior around me and protection so I don't get hurt. I'm like a marshmallow on the inside and on the outside too. Like so it's not a bad but. So you're a marshmallow.

What you're telling us is that you're the stay puff marshmallow lifestyleist. Ray, what did you do Ray? Why did you create Angela? She's walkable. I'm just a girl called Angela. No she goes, I'm just a girl called Angie. I refer to that is a marshmallow Oh, it's like okay now. I fully have no idea what's going on I

Mean that is she like just trying to like beat us like like beat us at the past You know cut us off at the past. She's like I'll do the marshmallow joke for them May this doesn't mean you're admitting to plus size modeling, eh? Nah, marshmallow. It means I'm just a girl called ENG. It's like, okay. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love a marshmallow. That movie would have been over in a minute.

Cute grandma would have just been like, well, I love marshmallows. Johnny well, like the, well I love Moss Millis. Johnny Willis, like the end. A man finds a Marshmallow. No need for you to be a Robert. Now, all right, Angelette, it's wonderful meeting you. Now I'm gonna roast you over fire. Wait, wait, wait, that was not part of the deal. Oh my God, golden, she, ah!

Look, being burned alive. He grants the follow-up will be called about a marshmallow. It's a story about a guy who wrote a jingle once and now is dating a marshmallow. So Louise. You know Angela, the problem is that you expect everybody to love you. And she goes, yes! Thank you! Thank you, that advance for loving me. She goes, I want to get to the marshmallow call.

Like a caramel sutra, if you will. A Ben and Jerry's at the call. I want to know if I want to want to know is there small about you? I feel Ram Crick is a random me and occasionally use a Hershey's bar if I'm feeling insecure is Prediction They get a bit my pillars a Hershey bar my computer is a ram cracker I wonder why Kurt's acting so weird. Because you woke up in a bed of hercies.

That's why he's like, what the hell am I dating? Sometimes around American all day time, you can stick a little toothpick in me and attach me to an apple and they call me a turkey. So Louis is like, what is it your marshmallow cool? What have you gone through? She's like so much being little growing up with a twin being raised by grandma. She cared about us but it did make up for no father or mother and it left a gap. I had said this I didn't want to be that

child without a mom. I used to sit on my window see marshmallow far away Oh marshmallow real near by so that's any Somewhere out there There's a marshmallow here for me Darling, there's never an excuse for the rays So stupid so she's like the way I'm like we're you and your brother close Oh brother were you close?

She's like, yeah. We don't know where he is. If you're absolutely broken, I can't do anything about this one. It's harrowing actually. Okay, now I was confused. Did she say it's heroin or it's heroin? It's harrowing. It's harrowing because apparently her her brother We don't know what's up with him. Maybe as mental issues. Maybe as drug issues or maybe he just doesn't like her anymore

But he they don't know where he is and I mean that's hard a twin a twin those twins You don't twins have those crazy bonds so I actually felt really bad for it And she's like oh everything's making sense torture childhood She dealt with it by putting up this facade I actually felt really bad for it. And she's like, oh, everything's making sense. Torture childhood. She dealt with it by putting up this facade. He dealt with it by turning to drugs or receding into his own mental illness. That's, it all makes sense now.

Well, yeah, I mean, obviously she's broken. It's just nice to know what kind. You know, you can see a vase broken all over the floor. You don't know if it got tipped over or if it was a hammer. It's good to get it back. Context is everything. And I like Louise. hammer it's good to get it back. It's I the context is everything and I like a lot of games back. So here's Angie like fully crying. This is like she's being very real right now. It was really sad and you know she's crying and it

cuts Louise she goes oh god that's a lot of crap to have to deal with. I don't know if I'd come out better than she. I mean, I'd come out richer. That's for sure. Much better clothing, master cars, you know, faster. So that was the Angel. Julia Art Class. And it's like, well, oh not Julia and in Guilda. So Anne's like, apparently, you know, that felt sorry for me. Reguns, possibly killing things shit like living things. So she invited me to art class. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So of course, Ann gets there.

Gild is already sitting there in a casual flannel, which was a look that I actually really enjoyed on her, except that she undermined it by still beating up her face and putting all this jewelry on her neck, but whatever, it's still fine. And since they're like, ah, ah, I haven't, I haven't done artworks since grade school, which we know is hundreds of years ago. Now, are we going to question the flowers first?

Don't we need to dry them? No, we have paints now. Oh, all right. All right, I'll just go with it. paints now. Oh. Ah, ah, ah. Alright, I'll just go with it. She's like, it's generally night, something in you, huh? I left out that we were going to draw a live nude model. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa pulled off the street who's naked and his name has been and he walks in and is like oh my ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

I thought it was like shock I was completely taken a big big and girl that was like oh man you know she's had seven fiancee she's she's seen enough, you know, she's had seven fiancee. She's, she's seen enough men, you know. And she's said, and it's like trying to look at his eyes, but then she keeps looking at his penis like, like that face face. And it does not even hide it. I don't know where to look, so I keep my eyes fixed. Family on his face. Family, oh, there I said it, I said it. She's not keeping his eyes fixed. I could use a stiff drink. I mean, it's very hard to draw.

This is very hard. It's very hard, yeah. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder-Yah. Oh well, okay, it's time for me to do this balls in my cart. Uh-uh! Should I feel this? Ah! In my day, you know, I'd spend my time with jealous and semen. Oh, no. So she does a pretty decent job actually drawing this guy. Yeah, that's the first time, don't you think?

Yeah, they all did. And what was funny is there's a montage and drawing and drawing and drawing. And then after like, you know, 30 seconds of like drawing and drawing the art teacher comes up to Ann and very politely goes um if you would like to unleash any passions onto the page you could start doing it I stopped unleashing passions as squatted onto pages years ago but thank you darling ah ah ah would you would you like to inject your sterile painting with any sort of emotion? Was that something you'd like to do?

Old lady? No? Yeah. I like that she didn't draw a face on him at all. Like he had a head but no face. But they were mad about the missing penis. But it was it's like which is more important. She's like it's face this and tickles.

But it wasn't just that he was missing a penis. She drew what looked like a slit all the way up the middle of his body. Yes. It was weird. It was an artistic expression. She was, she was, and igniting her passions. And guilt is like, well, we know it wasn't the cold day there.

Right. So now we can see Amsela and Kurt. And guilt is like, well, we know it wasn't the cold day there. Right? So now we can see Ansela and Kurt. Okay. Now she's beating down him in the lobby, which is kind of odd. But I love that she even lives in a place with hope in the title. Hope, is this what even where she was living? Because she lives between, um, to live between Auckland and and Christ Church and he lives in Wellington. So I don't even know where they were.

It looked like like a long, long, terrible hotel or whatever. Yeah, it was just some like, you know, lost in translation hotel where they're going to whisper something that we'll know and will never care about yeah so he brings our huge flowers and is like meh hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale hale ha hale hale ha hale ha hale hale ha ha ha hale ha hale hale ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Clooney, oh if I pass a store called Clooney, and I was like yes, you know they know how to stick with the theme here It's like they know it's even close to George Clooney. I think it was like I think it was the restaurant because they're in the restaurant And they're making out like like enjoying macarons and she's saying it's saying one same thing's like You know, it's a wonderful type of handsome man that got a man And we kiss and it really gets me so wonderful opposites do a trick. Oh, you know, and she's doing that I'm a sexual woman being

Opposites do which react. Wooo! You know. And she's doing that. Oh, I'm a sexual woman being. This is why I grow. And then throw my head back. Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah As she did that someone texted me to say that they had Food poisoning and had diarrhea. I was like this is really weird especially the Clooney thing like I'm still in my Twin Peaks place It's like everything is strange everything adds up Oh, I don't see you so I have the little diarrhea kick and he's like ah-ha

And you don't mind. You love it don't you and he's like sometimes He's like I kind of hate have all this traveling to see you means I can't hang out in my mates and she's like Okay, it's such a mates. I don't I see you fist and then my friends. He's like Yeah, yeah, I like it my friends more. Oh, man. She gets instant. She gets instant pairs She's like yeah, oh, so you're saying you'd rather see a mate. I was just throwing my hair back and laughing very deep in sexuality The being real if you feel Are you being real right now? It's like God forbid anybody else is real He's like, but it's challenging every time having a day off having to come here. I haven't seen them in six months

So you're well, I spend a lot of nights alone here to cook So you swear I spend a lot of nights alone here to kick kick. Yeah, he's like you will I do too Will I work my snikes and I love it? He's like well, that's tough She's like not gonna hear anything he's saying he's saying you're too much He doesn't want to come here every goddamn time he force him to because he was still like to have a life outside of you Okay, yes, and she like, marry me. Yeah. She's like, man, well, if I see you, I'll see my friends later, like you do not have friends. Let's stop pretending that you go in

out with like 20 different people. You don't even talk to your kids. So then they have like a quiet awkward meal full of anger. And then we move over to a racetrack where this is where Gildo's big activity is and she's like I love curves and I love wrestling. You good girl. Curse and wrestling. Lisa's a time where we get in the cars and we go room, room. I'm very good. And the instructors, this is where they have a and all the ladies are walking and they're like, it's good to live on the edge. So Louise is like, this is so me fast driving. Gorgeous cars have always had beautiful cars. When people think of Louise, they think of two things.

Form a 60 minute reporter and speed. Two things that go hand in hand. Everyone's wearing leather and looking all hot and angels wearing this bright pink jacket. And Gilder says, Oh, Angela arrives in her pink jacket. She doesn't need a safety jacket, does she? Mmm. That was it. You just got gilded.

Mmm. You got jeed. Gilded on the rest track. So the instructor's like, well, first, you're getting the car. And then you press the geese. Now, who's going to win? And Julie's like, definitely me. And the instructor's like, well, this one has driving gloves.

And she's like, yes, also AK47. Mm-hmm. Like separate your hobbies, okay, Golda. Room, room. So they make a bet for six grand. Oh, I didn't realize it was that hard. Geez. Yeah, because Anne's Michelle's like, let's bet. And then it's like, we K and Michelle's like, I was thinking six. Yeah, so you can do who could do the lap. This is whole it's a whole race track thing.

It's like a test track. And so who can do the lap fastest? So they make this bet. So first up is Anne. So Anne gets in and she's like, well, okay, I'm gonna drive and I'm not gonna go fast I'm gonna drive the way I want to and then she just drives like 35 miles per hour on this track It's like she's gonna be like delivering newspapers or something. Yeah, it's like a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- interesting. I do many things. I have a styling school, my design, I have wines, books, lots of things. How you under hobbying I sell glue guns? I also quite like, I also quite like describing the shapes of clowns in Facebook posts. Shadow Boxing, that's another favorite of mine. Hey, like you you had a dream and had a passion and now you're a trainer And I'm a trainer you guys like I'm sorry our facility just closed. I'm gonna have to go now We can't keep it open from you

And she looks crazy. She has total crazy face the whole time, but she does really well Yes, she was fast. She actually beats the record at the moment. And Michelle goes, it's true. Bitch got big feet. And Louise goes, it was all that extra weight. And Michelle says, I wouldn't have a swimming race with her. She'd win. And then she just starts flapping her hands like their bitch will be. So Louise is getting so competitive. She wants to win so badly. She's just staring down all these women like, I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win it all.

And so Gildi gets on there, she's like, well, you know, I like her resting and I like hers. But you know girls, I'm not very competitive. So I'm just gonna do a little lap around the track. And she gets in and she's like, ah, she's like Like smokers like fast and furious And Louise goes last and she's like well like hat competed many ways. I'm not the youngest

I'm not the richest. I'm not the most gorgeous. Oh, who are we kidding? I am Not the most talented well, you know, there was that acting career I had. I'm not the best photo journalist. Well, who needs it when you're a host of 2020? Am I right? Like just getting a fucking car, Louise, okay? Get in the car. And then she wets the shit out of it. She beats her by two full seconds, which is a lot

in this race, apparently. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I like that, uh, she goes, well, one of the best moments of my life, winning this shows me. I've still got it. Like you go, girl. Yes.

Is there anything Louise can't do? Maybe Lafayoga, maybe Lafayoga. Yeah. So I must say beach So now they all go up to drinks and they're starting to talk about the book launches and stuff and then Angie says She's not sure if Kirk is gonna be coming to her book launch everyone's like oh really and You know basically she starts to let the cat of the bag that their relationship is in the shitter Yeah, I'm everyone's like we're so shocked But it was nice for

them to see Amsela cry and stuff. It was also nice to see Gilded being nice, you know, because it is hard. I'm sure to be a run of Amsela and not just most actor all the time because they were talking about how they're all competitive and Julie is like, Louise, always excited in all of us so when she is really annoying and uh... uh... the reason why the biggest joke we say is that we're not competitive and she's like oh my god this lady of so competitive she's having a competition about who's most competitive and and so that's like you're not competitive well two books that's

competitive i and at some i mean yours comes out and gilder could have smacked her Yeah, but instead she's just like well they say great minds think alike Cheers Which I thought that was very nice. That was really nice. That was really nice I think maybe gilder must have known that Angela's man had left her because she was like, I am not going to kick this girl when she's down. Yes. I kick a plus-sized dog when she's up.

Yeah. So then they're all supporting her, being like it's shocking, and that he has to be there for you, and that we learn that they've kind of broken up a few, like half a dozen times over the past year. And so I like that at one point Angela just goes well you know what because you know if he doesn't come to the book launch I'll know for sure and if I don't hear from him between now and then then I just have to move on and then goes exactly stop that's what Rohan told me you say snap Julia says if you love something let it go and if he comes back it's because now when I swam to him right ladies

they are laugh and Louise goes like totes on sale and am says I don't wait for sales and girl the answer was some good natured. I want you to be happy and I genuinely wanted you to win but that beat stole it. There are like oh oh oh oh oh cheers. In odd episodes these were basically four extremely long scenes mostly with Anselessobbing over something. Yeah I was I'm hoping that they can get back to the drama because they had so much drama for the first half of the season or two-thirds of the season and now they're just kind of like just doing stuff. I hope they can get back to it.

I think next week is the episode where An goes to twerking class so there's that. Oh, that's exciting. Exciting. Everyone else. Let's move on to the crap and smile back shall we? Let's do it. Michael Horn, our dear SMILE. Michael Hornito.

Miguel Hornito. He says, what season of a Bravo show would you like an uncensored special for? You know, like, remember they did like Van Prop rules or aren't they did like Beverly Hills and yeah, the behind the scenes. I love that. Yeah, I said, what behind the scenes questions would you like answered? Some examples I thought of were Real House, the Varage County season 10, which is Cancer Gate. Real House is New York season 8.

Please don't let it be about Tom. And Vanderpump rules season 2, Jack's Christian Tom. I mean, I think those are actually probably the three that would be the top of my list. Yes, and also, I think the cancer one would be good because that was also the season that Heather DeBro was yelling at the staff, like the perfect staff and staff. And you know that they would rent that bitch out. So I would love to see all of that because, you know, I'm sure that Vicki and Brooks shot a lot of scenes where they were pretending.

And I would love to have seen those. I think that we could get one of the scary island season, New York season three. I think we would like, I think that would be a great That would be great because that was the that was Bethany and Jill's few that was scary island I want to hear what the producers were saying about scary island I think that would be really an excellent choice And I'm not sure we've even had a New York uncensored, especially yet Yeah, no, I think they've only done them for I think they've only done three right OC Beverly Hills and pump rules Yeah, I think they've only done three, right? OC Beverly Hills and Pump Rules.

Yeah, I think so. I would do... You know, Jersey season three might be good too. I would love to see the last season of Fadra and all that stuff. Because all that stuff that came out, what we knew about the like, drugging candy or whatever comments. But a lot of that stuff that came out in the reunion about Fadra going to City Hall and calling all of her friends to block all of candy's permits

Like I'm a love to see what the truth was behind a lot of that because I believed all of it You know for season one of Atlanta would be great um I think Yeah, I was a season one of Atlanta, I think season three of Jersey, which was started with that crazy, uh, christening, it's weird what they decide that they're going to do an uncensored special for. I'm surprised they haven't done more of them.

Yeah, I think it seems like it's only been newer seasons of things because the technologies probably, like they had it more down, you know, like they have cameras everywhere getting anything. Well, we watched scary island. A lot of that really did look like home video cameras Yeah, you watch those old seasons Mm-hmm. No, I agree So Hava Weber have a Weber. I'm sorry. I always forget has your name. Hava. Oh, Hava. I got a girl for you I think we've sung that before for Hava.

Probably. Speaking with me. All right. So she asks, can you please update us on how Ramona's Apple socks are doing? Please and thank you. That's a reference to an episode where she got more. What were the things that she got that we thought?

Aqua socks and we thought she's an apple We both heard apple socks and we both like apple socks. Well those Today I was watching the internet and they had Steve jobs But with a different base come on and he was announcing all kinds of different apple socks one pair is a thousand dollars Okay, like this is made of all glass. Who wants to walk on Apple socks made of all glass? Like I think you've gone too far, TurtleNet guy. I'm sorry but this is crazy. My Apple socks no longer support headphones. Isn't that crazy? I can't even plug my headphones into my socks anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but that's day class said, okay?

I just learned to stop tripping over the headphone cords Well, this crazy these socks remind me this one time There's a little girl now I was putting on socks and Jodym Parsonsmith said little girl you better put those socks on because you're feet Are the dirtiest things I've ever seen my life into this day, I've never been able to walk around barefoot. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's true. I can't do it today. Avery, your father's trying to tickle my feet.

Oh wait, it's my apple socks. They're on vibrate. Oh Lord, what else is in that bag? Let's just call it a day already. Thanks everyone who wrote into the crap and smell bag. We'll go back to more of those questions next week. And thanks everyone for listening. We made it through the week. I need a nap. I'll tell you that much. Actually I need to lunch. I am famished. Oh, bummees. Let's do a wee- Yeah, so everyone, thanks for listening. Um, you know the drill, subscribe, etc. And we'll see you all on Monday for a brand new week of Watch Your Crappens.

Bye! Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about Bravo, you mentioned the podcast. Spraying the word really helps us grow and it means the world to us. Also check us out on Instagram and Twitter. On Instagram we're at WatchwareCrapins on Twitter,

we're at what crap ends. You can also check out me and Ronnie on both platforms. Ronnie is at Ronnie Caram on both Instagram and Twitter and I'm at Beside Blog on Instagram and Twitter. Really thank you guys so much. We really mean it. We appreciate the support. And even if you do none of those things, we're just happy you're listening. Thanks. Hey, prime members.

You can listen to WatcherCrapins, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wandry.com slash survey. the Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself

by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.