Watch What Crappens - RHOAKL: The Pussycat Brawls

Episode Date: August 12, 2017

The claws are out for Anne's big charity fundraiser on Real Housewives of New Zealand, and while the ladies are supposed to be supporting the kitties, their behavior reminds us that they're t...he real cats, now and forever. Come listen to our recap and then stick around for Crappens Mailbag where we delve a little deeper into the legend known as GERALDINE PARSONS SMITH. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch for Crappens is brought to you by our Patreon.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Premium sponsors, Christy D'Auerdi, Cindy Gerson, Kelly Barlow, and Jess Ayan. This episode of Watch Your Crappens is brought to you by our Patreon premium sponsors Kristi Dauerty, Cindy Gerson, Kelly Barlow and Jess Sayon. Thank you to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watchocrapens.com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone and welcome to watch a Craft and it's a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about. On Ye old Bravo, I'm Ben Mandelker from BesideBlog.com and the Bander blender podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:36 And joining me is the level and wonderful and just scrumptious Ronnie Karen from trash talk TV.com and the Rose bricks bachelor podcast. What is up, Ronnie? Bim. So rough morning. I was wondering why today I felt sad. I was blaming a popover's binge. But then I realized this because I watched three hours at the Bachelorette finale and then recorded Rose bricks for another two and a half about it. And I'm very sad. I mean, what's the point of just like going with the easy choice and not really going for true hot love? Guys. Well, Roddy, it's so strange that you watched
Starting point is 00:02:16 all that and recorded it all the way on a Friday morning. Well, you know, we're a little late with roasts for some times. Because we record this on Friday morning, so don't we? You know why I'm a truthful person because I'm too stupid to lie. I've always been like that ever since a little kid. I'm too stupid to lie. So you know, you just get stuck with my, my truth or a really bad lie where you know, so true. So it's kind of like being truthful. Well, by the time everyone is listening to this episode, lots of exciting things have happened.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Well, really mainly one exciting thing has happened, which is that our tickets for our Chicago shows, which are both on September 27th, have gone on sale. That's right, Chicago tickets are on sale. Get them now while you can. It's Lincoln Hall. It's gonna be a show at 6.30. This is gonna be a show at nine.
Starting point is 00:03:11 There are regular tickets. There are VIP tickets. The club is mostly has seats for pretty much everyone, but not everyone is guaranteed to seat. So you don't wanna be stuck standing on the back wall there. But if you get a VIP ticket, you do get a guaranteed seat. So if people want to know what that's all about, that's what that is.
Starting point is 00:03:31 But regardless, that's going to be such an amazing night. And of course, we have our LA show. We announced earlier this week that Jeff Lewis and Gage Edward and Jenny Poulos, three of the stars of flipping out are going to be our guests at our LA show. And I literally, I'm so excited. I cannot. I'm so excited to, we've been doing this now, you know, like six years.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah. Long time. Yeah. And I am amazed that we can still be having this much fucking fun. Yeah. Not waiting tables and see learning about all this new shit. Like going on tour, we never had any idea we would meet so many people. Yeah. And also that they would be so much like us, like I did people.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Exactly. I love doing it. And it's my new favorite thing. I'm going to do it all the time. I know. And like it's cool that we have people like Jeff Lewis coming on tour live show because I mean he is like a He is one of the mega stars of Bravo. He's probably one of their top probably like I would say he's one of their top five stars right he's in the league with Bethany and Nene and candy and He's in the league with Bethany and Nene and Candy and
Starting point is 00:04:46 like whoever else, who are like Lisa Vanderpump, right? Marquis, Stars, or Bravo? It's Jeff Lewis and the fact that he's coming on our show, I am like beside myself. And you know, who knows, we may even have some other people who come by, we'll see, we'll let you know if anyone does, but for right now. Wow.
Starting point is 00:05:04 So excited. So excited. So get your tickets. Watch tickets watch or crap and calm as we can get all your tickets Another thing they can still surprise me after all this time is that they can still make housewives shows that are this fucking funny Yeah, I mean they basically just spin off this format into whatever they're like get a bunch of rich insecure aging people. Yeah. And just put them on TV and just watch them fall apart slowly and ruin each other's lives for fun. And how it can still be so much fun to watch, even in places I've never even thought of,
Starting point is 00:05:38 I mean, only not thought of because I'm ignorant and, you know, American and don't leave my house. But Auckland, who knew? Who knew? Who knew that we'd have a real house as of Auckland before a real house on Chicago actually? I mean, when we can start off a recap with these notes. With tits like that, you're not a normal size model kid over it.
Starting point is 00:05:59 And you're a Saudi horror. I mean, you know, it's going to be a good show. It's, yeah, New Zealand is, or Auckland is really winning its way into my heart. Like I'm absolutely loving it. I hope everyone sees it. I hope it catches on in the way that Melbourne caught on in sort of a cult way for American audiences.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I really hope New Zealand does too. Oh my God, Gina just posted today. I know the season in the game, Melbourne coming soon. And reminds me, we were watching this video this weekend of Gina. Gina's commercial. Let's face it. Let's face it. What is it called? I forget impavito Let's face it on Gina Let's face it. I'm not scared. I said to that bad scent get us in my body right this instance Sometimes I'm right sometimes I'm wrong on Gina. I'm Gina. I wish I could you want to smell a romance Like no that's firm Omgina she literally says that
Starting point is 00:07:09 Omgina she's like hi omgina it is romantic music playing in the background of genus just so fucking dead parents I love it it's amazing oh okay so let's get into this real housewives of Auckland recap, shall we? I feel totally great about doing that. So we open up this week's episode over at Anne's house. She's feeding her cats. Well, actually, first she's in her kitchen and she has, there's some roast chicken and she's like, champagne, champagne.
Starting point is 00:07:47 And this time champagne is actually her cat. It's not actually calling out for booze. I laughed so hard when the first line of the whole thing is, champagne, champagne, darling. And the husband sitting on the couch, like, oh, this is come to you soon, do you think? champagne is my number one pussy. It actually said that as the Kairan, it said champagne number one pussy.
Starting point is 00:08:11 And the editors or camera people are obviously mortified that she's roasting a chicken for a cat because they keep showing like the chicken carcass, you know, and then the cat and the eye line. She probably did not roast that. Probably one of her servants went and got a registry chicken from the supermarket and then told her that they were sleeve you out, well, way on it for the past three hours. I want a husband like her husband because this is the kind of perfect husband that every over dramatic old lady needs like me.
Starting point is 00:08:46 He's like, why are you getting champagne to the leg when I prefer the leg to the breast? It's another example of me being sick and like that's the way it is, isn't it? Champagne gets all the good parts of the chicken. Love sockies, but I'm pushing limits a little bit. And see we find out she's going to have a party for her charity. It's the clear guys. It's all the pussy's dying. Pussy galore party darling.
Starting point is 00:09:24 When we get more over over narration by Michelle. Darling, pussy galore party darling. Then we get more over over narration by Michelle. I've invited Michelle over to do this quick to talk about clearing the pussy's. And then Michelle's like, and then fratis me over to do this great to talk about clearing pussy's. I hope she doesn't mean cats.
Starting point is 00:09:42 I don't do cats. Michelle is of the Inaigarten School of Narration where she speaks quietly and at a low tone. And since they have to amp the volume up. So it's always like Ian has invited me over to go to look at Geese Creek. We're gonna look at cats. I don't like do cats. I don't do cats. I'm very concerned. She has that scrunched up face because her jaw kind of comes out under she has kind of an underbite. Yeah. And her jaw she'll stick out her jaw and then put her up up like under her toplet. So she's always looking like
Starting point is 00:10:16 and she's like, got kind of this cross-eyed lick. It's so funny that such a beautiful model can make that face just with her personality like her face is kind of it's like Not resting bitch face, but resting like what the fuck bitch Resting everyday model face Or every size model I should say so yeah, so so Michelle comes over and she hates cats and she's visibly uneasy comes over and she hates cats and she's visibly uneasy being there with all those cats in that cage. And I liked Anne. She goes, well, she was a bit of a cat on a hot teen roof. You know, like she was like, give me out of here. And she's all like this. And on her
Starting point is 00:10:55 tiptoes, the ass like, yes, we know what kind of hot teen roof it is. You don't have to actually like elaborate on the metaphor. I know, even though you're trying to explain that you're not calling her a broke down horror relying on the kindness of strangers. You're right both ways. She's like a big daddy. How's the closeted gay man in a relationship? Brick, is his name Brick?
Starting point is 00:11:19 Who? It's the pussy pala! They're abandoned but lonely. She's like a god of order come through the pussy pal. They're abandoned, but lonely. She's like, go to board it, come through the pussy palette, darling. Have her my choppy man. Find a floor that we have to take our shoes off on to walk on. Right? Been through the pussy palace. Don't need jewels. And she's just, you know, and is very Lisa Vanderpumpi. She's like New Zealand's answer to Lisa Vanderpump, you know, she's wealthy, she doesn't give a shit, and she likes making these women feel, you know, uncomfortable. She's like, oh, I took a bit of a, I took a bit of a pivis plaza in taking you out of a confidz in.
Starting point is 00:11:59 The way she acted was quite amazing. She just like smelled like pussy or right Ugly her with the fuck face. Yes, so and is what are the cut scene nervous like they look nervous and feel they can see when people don't have an affinity with them darling It's not only the alpha models for the tourism board Not only the bus stop models, okay. And she's like, guess what she says next. Let's have some champagne. I'd really like to have some champagne. So, and they wind up going up to her bedroom and Anne has this furry vest thing and she wants
Starting point is 00:12:46 Michelle to model it for the charity show for for an auction at the Pussy galore fundraiser thing, et cetera. Yeah. And then they just start looking at all sorts of fur coats, which just seemed strange. A lot of fur is like she's got them coming. Well, first didn't used to be so bad, you know, that's like fairly recent where people start to stand up for those little fuckers yeah she's like I'm gonna have an auction at my pussy party and it's like I've already been through this as well we're to be an auction at a pussy party
Starting point is 00:13:15 it's on my chunky husband are you listening to me and and Michelle I was in I wasn't I was in him, I was in, I was in Ming Heaven, unfortunately, so day. I'll be here all night, Michelle. Ugh. I love her oxygening off dead animals, her safety animals. Exactly. And Michelle wanted a free fur coat so badly, because it ends like, oh, I don't know what to do with all these fizz anymore. I don't even like them anymore.
Starting point is 00:13:43 They're so ridiculous. I don't need them. They're just all over here. This one is goat! Hehehehe. He's got that. Goat? Goat. This one is goat!
Starting point is 00:13:53 Hehehehe. It's like, do you feel bad? Who feels bad for a goat? No. This one is a hundred percent furry caterpillar. They had to kill ten thousand caterpillars to make this for a coat This is rockers back fiance number three This one is pure ferret Nothing but ferret so myself like this one is so me on. I'll take this one. It was 8,020 years ago.
Starting point is 00:14:31 You know, this is something that seniors do. I used to have a roommate that did this. It wasn't a senior. I don't know why I said that. But she had this like, e-catch. And I was like, that is hideous. Do you want me to recover it? Because I will recover that thing. And she's
Starting point is 00:14:45 like, well, I would rather you buy it first. And it was like $9,000. I said, how old is it? She said seven years. I said, you don't get to save money seven years later for an Ikea cap. You're going to sell this for like $50. You idiot. Yeah, it's called depreciation. I know, but people think their anti-20 years ago is now 20,000 today. It's like it doesn't work the same way guys. No, no, there has to be some sort of artistry behind it. Yeah, you don't get a cost of living increase for your old dead animal that you wear. Speaking of old dead animals, Julia now is talking about beauty treatments. She loves Botox and filler and in case you didn't really believe her her you just have to listen to her talk. She can barely move her lips
Starting point is 00:15:28 She's like yeah, I'm gonna get the vampire treatment there This thing with a count Dracula bites your neck off and he look younger. It's wonderful She has that creepy Joker slash Felicity smile. I love looking good like slash felicity smile. I love looking good. Yeah. So she goes to the Skin Institute, where, you know, we all want to teach our skin how to behave. Okay. Hope your skin does well. This is the skin is cute, which is much different from whatever that Institute was at
Starting point is 00:15:57 Angie went to last week to get the diggers taken out of the big. I'm getting to be in bad treatments. I don't know anyone else who's had it done. That's usually not a good thing, you know. They like trick college students in assigning away their rights to get treatments like that because you'll get a goat head growing out of your neck. Usually when you get bitten by a vampire, not a lot of people do find out about that. It's usually the end of the line for communication. It's a vampire list at treatment.
Starting point is 00:16:33 And anyone else who's had it done, we've seen the movie, okay? So for some reason, I think because it's another town where they're not allowed to film anywhere. She's like, I've invited Louise and Anne to join me. I'm like, okay. You want to come watch me get a treatment and a doctor? Yeah, they're like, all right. We got nothing else to do.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Like lunch would be nice. My drama trip is in between sessions. Say, why not? Can we watch on your runoff darling? We were just about to do a rehearsal for the curious case of the dog at midnight, but I think this seems like a better thing to do. I'll come watch your treatment, but I would like a program that announces me as Louise playing the role of Louise. I have a question, is this vampire treatment? Is this equity? No.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Is it EFTRA? equity? Is it EFTRA? Can I add the F word in here? I've found that it's a great way to raise awareness of your projects. Before we start with this vampire treatment, I would like very much for everyone to turn off their cell phones and put them on silence. Thank you very much. I like when Louise goes. Yes, well, the neck is a bit of a problem on the woman. The face can stay, but the neck goes. It's sad, really. And Julia is saying, you know, she's getting her vampire treatment on the neck. And she's like, I just want it because I just want my neck to be a little more flawless. I'm like, it's going to be a lot of vampires.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Okay, it'll be like six sequels of twilight to get that neck right. I like this. That's her her reason like there's other reasons. Why I'd like to treat me because, you know, it's it makes candy taste better. Of course you wanted to be more flawless, you idiot. I'll see you there. And Louise is like, I don't understand why you need all that numbing. It's going to hit.
Starting point is 00:18:23 That's why I don't like it. They put all this goop on her neck. And Louise goes, uh, she's like, I don't understand why you need all that numbing. It's gonna hit. That's why I don't like it. They put all this goop on her neck and Louise goes, she's like, I wouldn't walk that on me. Okay. Glad we all have a strong opinion in this, this, this, uh, scene. And she's giving the doctor this dirty look. And then what did Aaron say? And was sitting by the me. I've been many times the sixing on the kitchen table.
Starting point is 00:18:45 She was like, oh, I'm the cat's vet or something like that. I'm taking the cat to the vet, many. So I've seen so many new, I've been to war basically. I've taken champagne to the vet, and then I took nudged it to the vet, and then I took a little nugget face-y to the vet, and then I went to see cats, and then after cats I went to the vet, just for fun. I'm still waiting to take Betty Booklay to the vet. But I swear she said,
Starting point is 00:19:07 I've been many times de-sixing on the kitchen table. Please tell me you are not de-sixing your cats. On your kitchen table. But it wasn't a piece of chicken that she was serving. Oh, she's out of lane. Just what she needs, a little of a journal can out. You guys come at babies.
Starting point is 00:19:24 It's like, whoa, weirdo. I'm Louise goes, who's that Richard? I love these bitches, I love them. So the doctor starts, she basically takes some of Julia's blood, puts it into a vile, sends it through a centrifuge to separate out the plasma from whatever else is in there, and then I believe she injects the plasma, I don't know what she injects one of the liquids Into Julia's neck and just they're just poking it all in everywhere and then wiping it down and while Julia's getting this That's when Anne decides she's gonna start confronting her about you know all How Julia told
Starting point is 00:19:58 Gilda that Anne said that she was a gold digger and all this stuff and of course Julia's denying this whole thing. She's saying, well, you said that she was a gold digger and I thought that she should know. It's my right to tell her. I'm like, you're the one who said, she was a gold digger and then goes, gold digger?
Starting point is 00:20:15 Like, all she did was repeat what you said. We saw it in the flashback. Yeah, and she's like, he dragged it out of me. And he told me, she's like, I was right to tell you. I've had people say it about me. And we just like, yes, because you're a gold digger. That's why people have said it about you. I like that she's trying to go up against the older ladies
Starting point is 00:20:34 and they're not fucking having her. And she goes, if a man is with a young woman, she must be a gold digger. Did you say that about me? And Angus? Yes! Yes? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Starting point is 00:20:49 Yes! I love the way she says yes. It's with an eye. Yes! You made it sound like I was it's fault. You weren't fault. All these bitches are dumb. You can't go up against the former host of the weakest link,
Starting point is 00:21:03 OK? Or am. Anti-sexes her own cats on her fucking kitchen counter. You really want to fuck with her? And where is Furz to animal charity events? Okay, she does not give a fuck. She's like, and Julie at the end, she's like, how do I look, ladies? And they just stare at her with a horrified face and then goes, really read actually Louise goes horrifying. It looks really bad. Actually what Anne does is she goes
Starting point is 00:21:37 What Wenzhouly says how do I look she goes very bad. Aren't you pleased me came? She's so pissed but she deserves it and now she's gonna try and go up against these two. Yeah, good boys also She's also complaining to she's like they made me feel like it was all my fault It was all my fault that I called her a gold digger and then met said and meet Ann say she was a gold digger And then I told everyone it was Ann and it's like was my fault like it is your fault you stupid bitch I suppose it's my fault that Kanye Weston wrote that song about Gordy goes, I suppose that's my fault as well. All I did was write the second lyric of the chorus, that's all. So now we get to go to Crazy Ask, bus stop model Angela, with her assistant, Ugly Betty.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Or as she's French it's ugly bette really but they because this girl she's not ugly a very cute girl but so was America for art they're just like put glasses on her and we'll call her ugly yeah she yeah this girl Leah she's not ugly at all but they she's styled to look like someone who's supposed to have a makeover at one point you know Like it's again the glasses the buttoned up shirts like weird layers and she just it's like Mary Catherine Gallagher meets Ugly Betty And you know that actually Angie intentionally made her look dressed like that That's the way midway through the season. She's gonna say I've decided to give Leah a makeover now look at her She's beautiful
Starting point is 00:23:02 It's a lifestyle makeover one One minute she was in a plaid part of a girl's uniform, now look at her. She's in a tight collar block dress streamlined, which I appreciate. So we're seeing that they're at like a coffee shop conducting work. And I'm sure she's like,
Starting point is 00:23:20 Yes, hello, Covenant. Yes, Covenant of Horn Bay. And then they're in a tea shop called Covenant. I'm sure she's like, yes, hello governor. Yes, governor of Hone Bay. And then they're in a tea shop called governor. Yes, what is your deal with governing? She just reading things off the side of the wall. Latte Makiato, yes. She's like, I'm sorry, I've had a really busy day,
Starting point is 00:23:38 Mr. Obama. Sure, I can schedule you in. Hello, Starbucks. Yes, I do understand you in. Hello, Starbucks. Yes, I do understand what it's been like dealing with all those pylons. How can we teach them colour blocking? Oh, hello there, Mr. Sumatra. Yes, deep roast, I agree. I agree.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Alain has more said, new CD acoustic, I agree. Alanis Morris said, new CD acoustic, I agree. Yes, I do want to help your government coffee bin on. We do have to fix the Ethiopian crisis in Columbia. She is ridiculous. She's obviously just faking it. And she goes, my life is easy to lookly hectic. Where I run householdsirline households. I run children at the same time being a stylist. I can't do this all on my own, which is why I have my own French PA.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Yes. I'd like to have a French PA because it's classier. And then the waiter comes and she goes, we we. Okay, you're very French and you're in a place called the governor talking to the governor with French Betty ugly Betty working for you. And she is, you know, of course, a saint amongst humans and she's like, she is French and I do try to help her, especially with these difficult words. And they cut her same. Or hot, Leah, could you book a reservation?
Starting point is 00:25:08 You know what that means. I'm like, I'm pretty sure reservation is the same in French. Reservation. But Leah is like, Dina. Hey, Brooklyn, you want the dinner? OK, I have to appear. Don't forget to choose shoes. OK, shoes. And then, Dina, and and the hair don't forget to fix your hair
Starting point is 00:25:28 Okay, and what is this shoes shoes, you know if you feet shoes, but right there Leah could you get me a croissant or as you say a croissant Do you want to send a wooden fronches? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? Leah, I would like to could you go and order me a cafe. Oh, Lay, does that make sense to you in French? This is as this Spanish. Oh my god, this girl is just like, Oh, I have so much going on, especially with my new law and
Starting point is 00:26:04 of clothing coming out Really is it for like volleyball stars? Was they saying French? Vole boule? I've got my new wrestling my new female wrestling bodywear coming out He represents the women in New Zealand who are on teams Yeah, he represents the women in New Zealand who are on teams. So she has a book. What book is she looking for? I don't know why I was laughing, but it's like, I just wrote this book is all scratched out.
Starting point is 00:26:36 I don't even, I didn't even register that there was a book. I was just going to use it. We need to talk about buttons. Okay. here, bring the button people every day. Oh, yeah. And she's like, okay, I can do this. She's like, I have confidence in Leah. I give her a test. Here, it happens.
Starting point is 00:26:57 And she's really good about fetching a class. I love that about her. We need a creator team for 2016 and 2017 summer. Bostops, sign-in. Color blocked by stops. Color blocked sign. You know what I'd love? A streamlined port hall cover.
Starting point is 00:27:17 You know what I do? When I can tell that Leah can't understand what I'm saying. I just speak in her language. Grey pupan. Grey pupan. Escaran, escargot. Hotel? Omelette. Hotel?
Starting point is 00:27:29 Shantan? Shantan? Oh, and then she goes, Where's Great Partners? And then she holds up her hand for a high five. And she's like, I told her that. Sandra Pompat is a high five. So then we go over to Julia. She's like, I told her that. Sons of Pompatys. I'm fine. So, um,
Starting point is 00:27:45 hmm, so then we go over to Julia. And since she didn't really get the gab session that she was hoping for at the vampire treatment, she does the next best thing, which is invite a gay over. So she invites over, Che. And she is, she bass, he's like, I just want someone who's gonna agree with me
Starting point is 00:28:02 no matter what I say. So I got invited to make a part of it. They're the best at that. I'm like you got it But he doesn't even follow her lead. She's like you you could he goes how did it go? How did it go darling looks good? He's got like this yaks fake This yaks face and she goes I took my friends for support to get me neck done and when I had needles in my throat They started attacking me and told me off of passing on gossip and they said that they couldn't trust me anymore because I'd passed on gossip and he goes, oh, what did you say?
Starting point is 00:28:33 Yeah, she's like it feels like you're retaking me to you. Oh my God, even just smile and go like her made me call. I'm trying to hold my face like hers and it hurts. Yeah, she yeah, so he suddenly realizes that he was like, oh wait, I let my honest opinion come out instead of being a good makeup artist, which is just just fun over you. So I could agree with me and he goes, you're the paying customer. He literally says that. He's like, all right, I will warm out myself. All right, go on. Say what you said. She was like, oh, hey, if he ride to Colgildon, a gold digger. Well, to say
Starting point is 00:29:09 that and gold, a gold digger. I didn't say any. I was doing what was right. I'm just a truth teller here. That's all. And he's like, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, it's so bored of her. And she just talks herself into a tizzy and she's like, Louise is a complete two-faced bitch. Like what? What? She goes, Jolking through this giant bold gaze, getting me more worked up.
Starting point is 00:29:33 And listen to the way he's saying, you, if anything happens, is his fault? She's like, now do you mean me a favor? I get rid of all the guy, like I can't hear it anymore. So, so then we go over to a story called Trends Cedar, which is not the same as Trends Cedar, which makes sense
Starting point is 00:29:51 because Angela would never truly be a Trends Cedar. But she would be a Trends Cedar. So she goes there to look at furniture and she invites Michelle to join her, which is a little weird because they haven't been totally getting along. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
Starting point is 00:30:12 I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you'd like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen
Starting point is 00:30:50 to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Well Michelle, now that we're friends, I'd like to show you how to see the trend Sometimes you've got a trend that just needs to seat So you can you can just really learn to understand it Yeah, and Michelle's trying to steer Angela into some bold contemporary Designs and patterns and colors and Angela's like I'm really just drawn to black and white That's all I really like is black and white. I'm like, you realize your dress like a bottle of V8, right? You're just like...
Starting point is 00:31:29 Also, you guys know that someone can't design your apartment without having seen it for a stretch. Well, that's why Michelle does invite her. I mean, Angela does try to invite Michelle over to the department and Michelle's like, I don't know if I can do that. It's a little strange. Yeah. I like when the show goes, your home reflects your, your style. She's like, yes, your style, who you are.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Stupid. Now, Angela, could you please be careful? I seem, seems to be that you're knocking a lot of the pillows off the couch is what with your heavy footsteps and all. I like that she starts right in. Black and white cash look at that. Well, I have to tell you I'm glad to spend time with you, Michelle. After Louise delivered such awful, awful things at the dinner table. But actually you delivered those things. Well, it's Alice. Well, it's very unfortunate that I was the
Starting point is 00:32:25 messenger. I wasn't doing anything but just being the messenger of course with that Louise said. And would you believe also that Anne Cordo a Galtiga, I'm just an innocent messenger here, just you know, the lady of New Zealand. Quiet issues like you want to spend more time here in Auckland, right? Because the social scene is small, the races, the polo, you know, there's the walking in tunnels and Auckland, right? Because the social scene this small, the races, the polo, you know, there's the walking in tunnels and such because this is guilt as town.
Starting point is 00:32:51 You understand that right? And she goes, well, I've never seen her with those events. You know, I've gone to the biggest sheep competitions in all the country. And I've never seen guilt of there at any one of them. Do you know how many horses I've raced in my storytelling career meaning? I've never seen Gina they are running the track. It's like I always say to ugly bette. Bonjour ce soir vous l'avez vu coucher. Bonjour, down on your gut. You know I always say don't lick a gift horse in the mouth because I really don't like being
Starting point is 00:33:25 licked in the mouth when I'm giving someone a gift. Isn't it so nice of me to give gifts, isn't it? Like here's my book, here's another copy of it. And she's like, well, all drawing it along with Gilda, even though, you know, she doesn't own the entire social scene, but it's good knowing now that we've talked that my hands are, and she like claps her hands, clean of this one. Like what did you do to exonerate yourself? She is so nuts.
Starting point is 00:33:54 I mean, she's like, I think you got him dirty, honey. By dirty, you mean I got them cleaned? I agree totally. Now, here's a digger. Ooh, here's a digger out of my back from my chest. I'm handing it to you with my clean hands. There's a dirty hands. Clean hands, I agree.
Starting point is 00:34:14 So next, Michelle goes, of course, and gets gilded and talks to you about how she just furnished her shop with crazy Angela. Yeah. What are we going to wear tonight, honey? I went shop, oh, she's like wear tonight, honey? I went shop. Oh, she's like, after, why am I writing Gilder for everything? I was going crazy by the way, writing notes. My notes make no sense. So if any of my commentary sounds strange, it's because my notes make no sense today.
Starting point is 00:34:36 So she's like, Angela invited me to pick up furniture. And she said everything was orchestrated by Louise. And Gilder goes, this is what she did. And she said everything was orchestrated by Louise and killed the ghost. This is what she did. If someone vomits over here and then somebody picks up the vomit and they bring it to me and they throw it in my face, I'm not mad at the person who vomited. I'm mad at the face for a roar. The metaphors in her brain are very unique.
Starting point is 00:35:05 They are very evocative. If someone vomits on horse and horse give you a gift and gift is a vomit of box, but the box was collected the vomit and originally it was cupcake, but cupcake with vomit. I'm not a who made cupcake because the vomit is from someone else.
Starting point is 00:35:19 And she says, Well, I think that Louise gave her a bone in Angela Ran with it. She's like, I think that Louise gave gave her a bone and Angela ran with it She's like I'm neighbors with Louise. I'm shocked Maybe she's going through midlife crisis Because isn't that in the past yeah, honey. You are so close So then and then at one point randomly Michelle was trying to get gilded aware of some sort of like kiddie ears and Gilded just goes she was trying to get me to wear these minkey ears and I don't want them. I would not wear monkey ears. They're like black
Starting point is 00:35:55 Christmas trees. No. I will vomit you're insulting me now. You're insulting me. Okay. Okay, Michelle. So Anne. First time I'm having a pussy party at Giftskrieg! These girls better behave. You have no idea the work that we need to it. Yeah, Anne is setting up for her big party. And one of the things that she has set up is a shrine for all her favorite dead cats. Not all the dead cats.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Just her favorite ones. And she is basically, basically you know the second coming of TSLE like she's she's writing cats too you know because we see her cat there's Claude there's Nero Nero had seizures and it couldn't hear very well and sometimes you put the blow dry on it couldn't hear the blow dry it was crazy little cat pussy with the blue dry I really loved it so much. Now he's dead Ginger my special we man off the street you came to us so old and frail and weak But with such a sweet little face and a huge heart
Starting point is 00:37:00 I loved you at first sight that you fit it in so well. I mean, girl, you get this shit. You get these things ground up into dust, put it into wooden boxes, and then having like golden frames put on them, you need to get the grammar straight. But what's about Tabitha last of the old brigade? She used to dance over the Mulan Rouge. Now she came to New Zealand, penniless, but we found her and she came back here and she had quite a lively end of her life until she passed away from consumption herself. Claude, a little battle.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Always a feisty, talkative, we man! Who took ballet until he contracted polio with a swimming pool. Naja the king of the pensioner posses she sailed the far I seize for many years until he met his love of his life Bernadette but alas Bernadette got killed by a truck and now it's never got over it until he died in my arms, a sad old kitty. Tabitha, the last of the old brigade. Who died after tasting Captain Quentin refusing to eat any chicken I sowed to thereafter? I respect you sticking to your guns, Tabby, even though it sent you to Heavon. on tabby even though it sent you to heavein. Bunny Pop, a cat that was named after Bunny and also a soda, had a story live run for governor of this fast state, lost by 35 million votes, but still gave the good old
Starting point is 00:38:36 college try and we never told her that she lost in the first place, so when she died, she thought she was still in office. Good old cat she was. Flurbity, gravity, the little kitty I tripped over in the backyard one day and said, Liberty, Liberty! I'll never forget falling onto my ankle and how you poured around me smelling like death and eating bugs until the garden man hit you on the head with a shovel and sent you to heaven with ginger and poorly. Daffodil! Oh, Daffodil, last of the circus cats the way she would ride up and down, parapetite, patife, and a drive with a penu penny fathom and a parasol. She bought George everyone's houses even after she went blind what a great little candy she was until she drove a little penny fathom right into the ocean what a great little cat she was.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Then pussy paddles! I mean there are just boxes everywhere with these fucking dead cats of them and terrible poetry on them. My little Scottish pin panel. It's like, oh my god. Oh, it's so good. Maybe we should put some cats over here too. It's like the statues of cats or the dead cats. Darling, what do you mean to eat and not dead? The ashes on my babies now.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Got a little nap with dirt. Yeah, so it's time for the big party and unfortunately there are some electricity issues because we were told that the outlet is only to be used for the fairy lights and someone else perhaps the bear. Theamph very light Stamph very light Did that band plug into the very light certainly that's only for very light Very light reminds me my favorite cat very light same name. Oh, she was a good cat. Also, I took it to self too bad Last time these Electricity boxes went out was from very cats last time these electricity boxes went out, it was from fairy cats, but a hat, but a little tiny pole to this outlet, blew out everything, that's what we call these lights fairy-like.
Starting point is 00:40:53 She was looking for a sadine. Poins, okay. Now she's in heaven with all the sadines you could ever want. Oh, very light. So Alan Alan Alan Alan Oh, thank God you're here, Alan. She's like up and
Starting point is 00:41:13 he's next to you the entire time. It's like I've been gardening, cleaning the pool and fixing dinner. What can I do for you? No, I'm sorry. I'm just like, I'm reading my notes and I cat eaters. I'm sorry. I'm just like, I'm reading my notes. And I've watched this a few days ago. And these notes are crazy. We have a big problem.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Cat heaters. I can't have my pussy's getting cold. My pussy is going to what to do. So she's freaking out. I'm like, lady, just find the fuse box to flip some switches. But apparently not even that would work. So she calls up the like, Trishin and he comes, he gives her some, she gives him some champagne and the party is back on. And now this is hilarious. All these people shopped the party and
Starting point is 00:41:56 all these women are wearing first. It's like so tone deaf, save the cats and they're all wearing first. And one lady is like, oh yes, this is it's South American skunk, and then someone else is like, oh mine, I think it's raccoon! Do you just like scoop them off the side of the road? Where are you getting your jackets? Pulse them faaaan! And ants like um...
Starting point is 00:42:22 Well the main thing is they should be killed humanly. And some lady goes, oh yeah, it's not for profit anyhow. What do you think, did you get yours for free? Yeah, I'm sure that possum family is very proud that their child died for a free jacket for some old lady. Yeah, you're turks. So they show up, so Angela and Leah show up and Ugly Betay has this little kitty nose on and some whiskers, so she looks ridiculous
Starting point is 00:42:53 and Angie clearly drew all over her face that way she would look less desirable. And of course Angie's like, you look really bright, Leah, really cute or as they say in French relay cute a whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo everything in I'll tell you that. So we hang on. There he is from France. Boom, foie, come have some champagne, my little pussy. Who brings their PA to a party.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Angela. Angela does. Notre Dame, Iful Tower. So then Julia shows up. We're in the exact same cashew as Angela. So this of course causes a little bit of a a little bit of a tizzy between them. Well, we may be wearing the exact same kitsuit, but our body shakes a different cheese, voluptuous mind, and it looks different. Oh Julia. Yeah. You know, I just look excellent in mind on account of having just had a vampire bought my neck
Starting point is 00:44:07 My nick is more really thick movie scissors in my cat and my abat. Why don't you? I'm like Ann who's having a pussy party with dead cats and boxes everywhere you turn and fairy lights a blue Out all of her lights goes they're wearing the same How embarrassing is that? I'm like do you have people wearing scunks? South American skunk you were trying to get 8 grand for some faux fur coat
Starting point is 00:44:36 made out of rats for the subbodies like please there's like this coat was made from the entire case of the great mouse detective Well Louise didn't give us it. She wore a full length fur. Yeah, she's like I felt great like a movie star and A movie star that hates animals Now what's this charity?
Starting point is 00:45:03 You look warmer You look warmer than me. I've changed the wrong dress and the wrong fairy lights as well. She's like, well, it's a part of you've cats, but I don't care. All wear that coat by hook or by crook. It's like I just don't give a fuck. It's kind of liberating. These women who are like, I don't care what people say about me. I paid thousands of dollars for this fur coat. It's the only nice thing I have, and I'm gonna wear it on TV. But yeah, Bo. Yeah. So then, yeah, Michelle shows up, and she's sort of halfway. She's in a cat suit, but she has fur on it, and then Gilda is last,
Starting point is 00:45:35 and she also is doing the cat suit thing. And Gilda is just not happy to be there. She's like, I am stepping into a gathering of derribles. I was like, oh, the origin story of this. We're all clashes. Yeah. I'm wearing gold shoes. They show her shoes walking through the grass.
Starting point is 00:45:51 She's like disgusted by grass. She's like, oh, grass. So I'm like, look, it's a gira. Till Louise, he says this, you don't expect me to feel that. to the to the is this you don't expect me
Starting point is 00:46:18 to do you after that nasty comment you made about me you're not stupid after that last comment you made about me. You're not stupid after that last comment you made about me. You're not stupid. Terrible. Well, you know what I'd call that frosty. Good thing I have my fair coat on. Yeah. Straight up bulletin. Well, I feel that I'm being hunted to be honest. The real frostinessness is guild turning to Angie saying oh and you don't get the hello
Starting point is 00:46:47 So then Angela turns to Betay and it's basically like she's the nasty one and she looks nasty too And then she goes Leah knew exactly what I mean He doesn't know which shoes are okay We had no idea. She's like does this mean I've been deported? So Anne finally puts on her fur after complaining about freezing for so long. She's like, I have to put on my fur. I don't care if it's a guy event, I have to put it on.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I can't die. I can't die. And Gilda's just standing around giving everyone dirty luck. So Louise tells us, I know why Gilders upset. She thinks I called her a goddamn saddie horse stripper face. Whatever it was a lot of people. Yeah, she goes now listen here, Gilder. We've got to have this out right now because I've got some explaining to do and I do not want to continue this on the wrong foot because you've got the wrong idea Yeah, well I Respect her so she has a chance to explain. She is not stupid Now listen here Guilda when I said that you were with a
Starting point is 00:48:00 On a hot tin roof with a But a Fee on a Hee under a I meant it in I just meant that I'd already heard it. So whatever Angie had to say is not going to open my eyes. She says there's a huge rumor that will make you hear curl and I said if that's the rumor we've all heard it and she's like did you believe this rumor? She goes I don't, I don't care. So why didn't you shut it down and say no, shut up. And she said, she just bring it out later. I forget nip it in the bud, you know, she's going to
Starting point is 00:48:32 do this in the first episode. I said, while waiting till episode 13 for the call, you a sassy horse sucked up the sperm of an entire boat full of Middle East and men with sheets over their head, darling. So he goes like, okay, so Louise, oh, thank you. Okay, I get it. I think Louise pretty much won over Geldigan when she says, you know what? I underestimated Angela. I didn't realize that she was that big of a bitch. Huge, huge bitch. So, Michelle's like, are we cool? And the Wii says, we're cool.
Starting point is 00:49:08 I'm standing up for her. And Michelle's like, I don't believe that was standing up for her, what she did. She's like, I did! And she's just coming after her. And the Wii says, we had a frank and long discussion
Starting point is 00:49:18 and I think we're good. I don't think you are. But I like your positivity. Yes, I do, too. I do, too. So then Julia's Yes, I do too. I do too. So then Julia's like, I think that Michelle is getting too caught up in the drama. So I thought I should distract her
Starting point is 00:49:32 and what better way to do it than to show her Anne's daycare. So she's going to... I wanted to show you this crazy room because it takes this so different scene. Isn't it crazy? Because you're contemporary. And Ian is, she's just a total greenie. So you're contemporary. She's a greenie.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Isn't that a crazy thing to see? Isn't it crazy? Do you have a China display? I'm just like, uh, I'm just good. Is antique, isn't it? Very old lady. Very. The crepe, is that what you're trying to say? Very. And she goes, he said, T is very old lady. Very to crimp it.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Is that what you're trying to say? Very. Old to say, it's nothing slag. Is that what you're calling in right now? She's just like trying to do her thing where she's baiting her into saying shit that she can take back later.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Pretty much. Wouldn't you say that I'm so unbearably old now Michelle? You're just saying that, right? Yes, you just said that you said that Well yeah, would you imagine this picture's taken it she's holding on the first rifle ever made She looks like a cartoon. Did someone draw this? Did you say this looks like a drawing from the 1020s? Do you like do you like this jewelry? It's like costumes you read you said that right? It's costumes you You said she said that she's cheap right? She doesn't have any money
Starting point is 00:50:45 Wow Michelle you're really seeing a lot of things right now Misogas she has so many pictures of herself in old faded technicala We miss it from 1920s so yeah, so they're like I like all those stuff. She's like Akasette Will it won't be Snoop Dogg. What is it, Whistling Dixie? Oh my God, you guys. Why were they surprised?
Starting point is 00:51:13 Why were they surprised at this, that Anne has granny sensibilities? I mean, look at her. She's old, she drinks champagne, and she loves cats. Yeah, and I hate, especially the woman whose face looks crazy, and she just went to the doctor to get shit taken out of her ass and put in her neck. And she's just trying to make as many aged jokes as she can. And when Michelle goes, is that Cassette Dixie?
Starting point is 00:51:39 She goes, that's the nickname for my husband, Dixie Normus. I was like, oh, that is so gross. We've seen your husband. Yeah, he looks like Dick Cheney. Current, current Dick Cheney. Yeah, like... Okay. Dick... and Dick...
Starting point is 00:51:56 Dick... Dick... Dick... Dick... Like, Dick, Dick... Okay, so, so um so then down it's like and every time and start she's like it's the pussy got lower body save the
Starting point is 00:52:14 pussy so Michelle gets on stage because they're now comes the auction and she's wearing this possum vest and so she's supposed to be modeling it and everyone's like I can't believe that that's Michelle's a model and she shouldn't she beum vest. And so she's supposed to be modeling it. And then everyone's like, I can't believe it. That's Michelle's model. And she shouldn't be doing a catwalk thing, what's she doing? I mean, I could have done it.
Starting point is 00:52:30 So she's up there. They're auctioning it. It gets sold for a few thousand dollars. And then Michelle comes downstairs from the stage. Not downstairs, but it comes off the stage. And she's standing with the women. And Michelle's like, hmm, well, this is an event for Kets. So let me be a little cady a little bit.
Starting point is 00:52:48 So she just turns to Angie and Julia who are wearing the identical cassooths. And she's like, he will beta. Is it Julia's at Angie? Oh, I bet it was Julia, because she's thin. And she's not a giant. And then she just like high five. And Angie's just like,
Starting point is 00:53:04 I have to look at. She's doing. doing she goes what kind of woman compares another woman to another woman right in front of every woman ever yeah how could you compete me front of another me so who compares one bread maker to another bread maker to another bread maker solid by solid Amazon Bay just how we know who has the best reviews who gives comparison shopping and compares one thing to another to another Yet me as I would say in French So Angie just gets totally pissed and she just runs away. Emishal goes, pull your tummy in sweetie.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Pull your tummy in. And she goes, I'm a size 10. And she goes, you're not, you're at least 12. You're delusional. And she keeps saying it may be it'll happen. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with being a plus size model whatsoever. You seem to be ashamed of it. She's like, my say, my size, my shape, my look represents the New Zealand woman.
Starting point is 00:54:12 And you're not even a New Zealander, Michelle. I was like, oh, okay. And then just like, how do you just, how do you just define a New Zealand woman? And angels just like, what's wrong, yielder? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you in her face? Oh, in her face. And she's like, get out of her face. And she's like, she's not a little woman. She's a big lady. When she comes into your face, I'm like, a park cat. She starts laughing. Yeah. So, and she goes goes just tell us who you are Tell us who you are and go to goes I am everything that you are not and Angie goes
Starting point is 00:54:49 No, I am everything that you are not I'm like you realize that's the exact same thing An Angela is so stupid by the way Anna still up on stage for the auction going quiet down over there lady This is serious matter She's like you're I'm everything you're not be serious. My mom. And she's like, you're I'm everything. You're not. You're the little runt and kill the starts laughing. And she's like, runt, that's the best you've got. And then Angela tells us, runt, oh, can't last.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I didn't say that. Oh, I did. I was like, you are basically Louis Anderson pretending to be some lady in New Zealand Who are you kidding right now? And then she goes and I'm the big runt of the litter and the big runt always gets picked fast I'm like you realize you just called yourself a runt also like you're it I like how you're you include yourself in your own insults with someone. Yeah, the big run gets picked first so does the biggest Heifer
Starting point is 00:55:44 You're not winning any fun. I'm the big one, but I'm not so big to be a 12 size big runt. I'm a size 10 big runt Ladies quiet down over there. You're talking too loud too much champagne first time I've ever said that So then so then after this little dust up, Angela gets up on stage because she is auctioning off or Anne is auctioning off, a styling session with Angela Stone. So the first bid is Julia and the second bid is Leah and it just goes back and forth between Julia and Leah. Yeah, I was just sad. It is so crazy. It's her fucking assistant doing it.
Starting point is 00:56:29 And then they keep everyone sees it. You know, guilt is like, I cannot believe it. And guilt goes, is that inside of trading? I don't know if it's legal to be honest, but it's funny watching guilt laughs. She thinks this girl is hilarious. Yeah. And so the host is like, 3 on be that and Angela's like it's all for the pussy. It's all about the pussy cats. It's all I'm not popular. It's all about the pussy cats because they don't have diggers in their back. All right. Oh my god. And so the it's like 3000 now and Leah keeps
Starting point is 00:57:05 raising her hands and Angela's like no, no, no, no, it's now on the eating bay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no for the PCs now. Someone who also cares about PC. A Wastob lesbian rock star taken over darling. Now everyone listen to some music from my Lord Coverband featuring Kim Bra. So yeah so basically they dance they dance the night away and essentially Ann and Louise are good again. And the song is Lady Lady lady. I liked it. They're just sticking with their pussy theme the whole way through Yeah, and Angela Gus and Angela's hopping around like an idiot. I mean, it's like Hagrid is like in a pile of ants, you know and Guilda goes And you just see her watching and discussed. Gilda for the win on this show.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Always. Gilda is great. I love Gilda. Angela is awful, but she's hilariously awful. She's also for the win. So, um... Yeah, I'm liking all of them. None of them are afraid. It's so funny. It is so, so funny.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Their fights are amazing. And Michelle, it's funny because Michelle really does go in for the kill. But I actually feel like the things that she says i the things she says to michelle i think with art of things that i feel like models would say to fellow models and i think the fact that angel keeps getting offended shows that she's not really a model yeah i'm sure would go into a casting and they'd be like
Starting point is 00:58:39 alright well you're you know an older mom time she'd like like, Hey, they're you. Yeah, that's what they tell you in my videos. You have to get over it. Yeah, I mean, even Catherine Dennis can deal with it. So you can too, Angela. Well, barely, barely. Why don't we move over to the crap and mailbag, shall we? Let's do or man.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Well, I'm trying to play it, but I accidentally started playing the music into my Apple TV. So there it is. Alright, Krapins Mailbag is where listeners get to send in questions and comments, and we read them on the air. You just have to do it. You just have to go to Patreon and support us at the Crappens mail bag level or above. So let's see, what do we have today in our Crappens mail bag? This is from Farrah, okay, or Farrah.
Starting point is 00:59:33 Hi, Farrah. Farrah, she says, I'm sorry, but I just don't get it, okay? Who the F is Geraldine Parsons Smith? She sounds like a real B.I. Can you please explain if this is a real person, someone Ben and Ronnie made up, or a friend from Ramona's past, from which season and episode is she first reference, and when explaining it, have a little respect, okay, you'll understand after you've been married for 30 freaking years, ugly Botox fake cry, ugly Botox fake cry.
Starting point is 01:00:03 years, ugly Botox fake cry, ugly Botox fake cry. Okay, Farah, we are always happy to answer this question. This is one of our most commonly asked questions. And it seems we can never answer it enough and it's always fun to answer it. Drony, why don't you answer it? I feel like I'm always answering. Why don't you give the answer to this one? No, you answer it, I always answer it.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Really? I feel like I always do. Okay. So, Femura, here's your answer, okay? So back in, I think season six of Real Housewives of New York City, Kristen Takeman organized a whole trip to Montana and on one of the days of the trip, she she planned a One of the days of the trip, she planned an excursion where the gang was going to go geocaching, which involved using these little things that would show you where your GPS was and you
Starting point is 01:00:53 had to go to a coordinate and Ramona didn't want to do it. And this was the season where Ramona freaked out in the bookshores about being in the woods. And she started to cry and started to have these childhood flashbacks. So that was the birth of our ongoing joke about Ramona having childhood trauma flashbacks from anything. What is. Pineapples, who knows what. So when she didn't want to do go geocaching, we came up with a bit where we said, well, this is crazy.
Starting point is 01:01:25 I can't go geocaching because one time when I was a child, I was friends with someone named Geraldine Parsons Smith and she was really mean to me. She was so nasty to me, my entire childhood. And so to this day, I can't be around anything that's named GPS because it stands for Geraldine Parsons Smith. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:01:41 It was something like that. Yeah, it was basically Geraldine Parsons Smith is the GPS. And you son of a bitch, you just keep saying Geraldine Parsonsmith. Well, I feel like it has to be incorporated into like any Ramona, like once if Ramona is ever being mentioned, once for episode, Geraldine Parsonsmith has to come up. But you have, and you have a complimentary inside joke with it, which is that you created the joke about Ramona's father throwing spaghetti at her mother, right?
Starting point is 01:02:15 Yes. Because it's a she starts, she started with these stories just to get out of doing anything that anybody wanted her to do on that trip. And then members she'd left early and she's like, I have my friends. Hello, copter coming early because I can't be in the bird's chairs because my dad one time yelled at my mom, we were well. And she started going through all these traumatic stories, which I don't doubt that she had a rough childhood, but she was only using them to get out of being at Heather's event. Right. And I'm just not who was always funny because they were so silly at the end.
Starting point is 01:02:47 It's like, through some spaghetti in my head. And so usually the way the pattern is, is that usually I will start with a Geraldine Parsons with memory. And then you usually chime in with something that builds on to it that involves spaghetti being thrown at her mom. But what's great is I really want someone, and whoever does this, must have the patience of an angel, to go through and stitch together all the stories of Geraldine Parsonsmith and Ramona's dad that we've created over the years
Starting point is 01:03:26 and create the story of Ramona's childhood as it's told by these, as it's told by these Geraldine Parsonsmith stories because she's just been tormented endlessly by this woman. Who is like these stupid little things that torment her too. And we're still unclear whether Geraldine Parsonsmith is a childhood friend or frenemy of Ramona or is she like a friend of her dad? Because at one point, I think it sort of sounded like Geraldine Parsonsmith may have had some sort of romantic affair
Starting point is 01:03:59 with the father. I can't tell. I don't know where our fan fiction went, but I know. It's so hard to remember. Yeah, but they're yes So we get this question a lot Farah. You're not the only one And we are always happy to answer it. We'll do it like every yes. Hey GPS Just dang asks with Bravo premiering Auckland with Bravo premiering Auckland it has got me
Starting point is 01:04:25 super missing the Melbourne ladies can you guys give us a conversation between Gina Gamble and Janet discussing the new Auckland housewives I'm just Hankin for some Melbourne impersonations thanks okay who do you want to be I'll be Gamble okay so listen welcome. It's great to film with you for another season. Let's face it on Gina I'm not here with wolfie my miss my wolf bump Well, it's me Janet who also happens to be the same voice as someone called the cat lady, whatever that is. Chit-dan is what she says to cats. I hope that we can come back and be friends with Sun Gina, because we really do get along better than any other little gal on this show.
Starting point is 01:05:25 Ladies, I have just announced my new book, it's called Petifler, the Champagne Cat Lady. You've been fired then? Oh sure, beat up on me, just because I tried to switch the bitch and make a cat thing. Now you say it's not original, fine just beat up on poor petty floor. I'll say it, your boyfriend, son pro-coverly, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Would that make your life a little bit happier? That way you can write books about me your mother Not unless you have a son to date Coming right to book about wolf pop or wolfy Maybe you should have thought about myself playing piano then
Starting point is 01:06:46 All right, I think let is this is just a big old misunderstanding. How about we just have some tea with Brucie and have a great day with it, okay? baby. Listen, baby, you don't have the smell of romance. It's a get out of me body. Right, man. Because I'm fearless. So we mentioned earlier that Gina announced that the show is finished as in the can, which means that we'll be coming back to Australian TV court soon, but it means it won't be coming to American TV for another year or so. So it's all be said together, she'll leave. Yeah, it usually takes a while. People always are like, why does mom bring in a comment?
Starting point is 01:07:25 So we just have to be patient. We want everyone to be patient. And let's just enjoy Auckland while we have Auckland. And guys, so let's close up that mail bag. I'm pretty much brain dead at this point. So let's just wrap up this week of crap in, shall we? What a fun week everybody! Yeah, super fun! Go buy your tickets to whatever show, whatever show is available to you. Chicago, New York, I mean not New York,
Starting point is 01:07:56 I mean you can buy tickets to New York, won't be us, but Chicago LA, just do it guys! Yeah, good luck New York people. I just lost a watch. Classpoke gold. I guess I'll have something to do for the next AFAWA. Alright everyone, have a great weekend and we'll talk to you on Monday. Bye! Hey, prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
Starting point is 01:08:25 Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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