Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: A Very Merry Halloween Christmas

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

On a very special Halloween Christmas episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, film royalty Jamie Lee Curtis slums it on Bravo to help her charity out. Plus, Kathy Hilton finally makes her return and Diana throws a Xmas party.This is a Crappens on Demand video. Catch it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/69397858See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one, and only Mr. Ronny Karam.

Hi, Ronny, how are you? Hi, I'm Ben. Hi, everybody. Hi. Hi, hi. Welcome to today's episode. We are recapping the real housewives of Beverly Hills. It's also a crap is on demand day,

which means that you can not only listen, you can watch us go to patreon.com slash watch real crap and if you sign up on the crap is on demand level, you get access to these two glorious videos a week. We also get access to our discord server and our bonus episode. This week, this week at roll, I don't know what we're talking about our bonus episode. We're gonna touch on Dubai, et cetera, I think. But we actually have two bonus episodes this week, so we didn't do one last week.

So we did, we talked a lot about TV on the first bonus episode this week. So go check that out, long story short, go check that out. And you know, what else? In case you missed the announcement, Winter is crappin'ing is coming back. The trailer for the new house of the dragon

dropped what today, Ronnie, yesterday. You sent me the link. I don't know. I saw it, I saw it today. Okay, well it dropped for us today. But the Game of Thrones prequel is coming back in August and we will be recapping it with winter is Crapening so get psyched for that. That's gonna be next month. So tell all your friends. It's gonna be great, okay?

House of the Ramona guy And lastly on Monday as we have take a seat on Spotify live so come join us at seven o'clock on the west coast and a clock on the east coast and So come join us at seven o'clock on the West Coast, 10 o'clock on the East Coast, and a special shout out to the construction team outside my window who decided to start hammering as soon as I press record today. So thank you, thank you, hammers for that.

Anyway, Ronnie, are you ready to dive into some Beverly Hills? You know, I surround very exciting episode today on Beverly Hills. Very exciting stuff. There was some big time star power on this episode. And it wasn't just a leading cabbure. It was a full on like I'm shooting a scene. And I thought, wow, Jamie Lee Curtis,

like she's really like shooting Beverly Hills right now. And then I did like a Google search afterwards. And you know what's so funny, Roddy? You know what? You know what came out yesterday. What? The trailer for the new Halloween Of course What?

It's a mint Halloween ads Kyle butter guy this time. Oh my god Spoiler alert for anybody who didn't see Halloween Sorry, the spoiler alert is late. I shouldn't have given a spoiler alert that the spoiler was gonna be late, but Kyle is still alive in the series. And yet, no bangs, no bangs this season.

Oh. Anyway, I just thought that was so funny. Like, of course, of course, the Halloween trailer launched yesterday, which by the way, it just shows how much they have now, like the Halloween, Halloween world has now put so many eggs into the college entrance basket that they are timing, their promotion and their arrival, their trailer

with real housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah. Yeah. Hey man, you need every little extra bit of help you can, I guess, in today's world. You certainly do. Today's difficult industry world. Hey let's talk about how difficult this is from the industry.

Let's talk about the industry. Let's have a round table of a variety. A round table. A round table. Yeah. That movie was terrible. A guy was terrible in it. I don't care what anybody says.

Am I biased against Kyle? Yes. Yes, I am. Am I mad that Kyle didn't die? Yes, yes, I am. But it was still terrible. I still love a good thriller and that was bad. But you know what?

There's another chance to root for Michael. So. It's more of a, maybe you have to think of Halloween kills as Michael's redemption story. Like his arc where suddenly we see him as a protagonist and Kyle as the villain and we're just rooting for him to finally take care of the big baddie.

Yeah, there was a movie like that last year of the year before where they did one horror movie where the kids go into this house and somebody kills all the kids, but then they did the reverse where you see it from his point of view, like being attacked, these children are coming into your home. Oh, I forget what it was called. Was that the one? The older guy is like the vet. Yeah, yeah, I didn't see that, but I just, yeah.

Anyway, yeah, they showed it from the reverse. And I think they should do it with Halloween. And we find out that it's just like Kim Richards, you know, who should have probably died 37 times. Um, every time we've seen her, we're like, wow, she's still back. It's like, yeah, I didn't know what. The house is not fine. Yeah, she's just put, I just put the roof off of my hat.

And I'm, I'm at some fudge. Yeah, I found this great William Schattner mask and just, you know, let's have fun. Halloween. Hey, Jamie, you want to play? You want to play? That's all Michael Myers. He just wants to play with Jamie Lee Curtis

Yeah, he just wants a really long kiss on the forehead from Jamie Lee Curtis Really long and incredibly long. I was like are you sipping her brains out of a tiny hole? Why are you kissing her forehead for so long Michael Myers just wants someone to fix his eyelash glue? That's all he wants Which by the way never worked. Well, it's a little good too. Yeah. But I never noticed in the opening that Kyle almost falls backwards in her. Oh, it's by Shaheeda too. Oh my God. Every time I'm so glad you mentioned that because I was looking at that scene last night, that little flash. And I was like, every time they show her, do that, where she's whoops around, it does that like,

left as she does. And it's like, this is the most annoying shot of the characters they'd ever captured in the opening credits. And it looks like she almost falls down backwards, which makes sense because they're the kind of best friend producers aren't on the show anymore. So that's why I was looking bad now

and they're showing your real personality. And I just love that whoever the new queen is over there is just like, use the shot where she almost falls down. Fucking idiot. Use that one. Use the shot of her and the cheap lounge wear. Yeah, that one. So let's see. So to eat calls, Rina and Rimes, you know, walking around with a, what is it? What is she walking? Oh, she's lasering hair off of her chin. Yeah, she's lasering, but she's like, it's not a vibrator, I swear, it's not a vibrator, it's actually lowest.

Every time you see a really, it's a really, it's a really, I say, it's lowest inside, it's lowest. Shocking spicy. Yeah, I was worried because she looked like she was dressed to do one of her dancing videos. You know how she puts the phone kind of down on the ground and angles it up at her and then she comes in and a fishing hat and glasses and does a sex. I was like, please don't bring this onto the show. Please leave something just for Instagram only now. It's true. So, uh, Doreet's telling us about

Omicron. And she's like, just when you think you're done with COVID, Omicron comes now Lisa, Erica and Gacelle all have COVID. Luckily, I managed to dodge the bullet this time. G. Too soon to read. I know. Isn't to read the one who went through so much trauma she didn't want to hear the word say space, but then everything Doreet says is like, well, that's actually fishing a barrel, isn't it? Why do you have to have guns and all your sayings now, Doreet? Too soon. It's not advisable. It literally is too soon because she winds up testing positive by the end of the episode.

So for those, by the way, for those wondering, I am still COVID positive. I am still a COVID patient. So anyway, people are asking, you know, I want to make sure people know that I'm ill. Okay, I'm ill. Actually, I feel great. He's a zag. That hammering you here is actually a statue of Ben that they're chiseling outside of the feel great. He's a guy that hammering you here is actually statue of Ben that they're The

He's still working Vanderpump's just done to like hey by the way where was our invitation to Schwarzenegger's rules. Yeah, where was that? I mean I'm in Texas, but where was your invitation? I don't know Bravo podcasters and people out there. They just send Arianna and Tom Text it just is like middle fingers and like an eggplant to come. Oh, I didn't so see now you just you just took the fire Me because I just saw some passing photos of like Tom and Tom flanking least of antipropos I know that's nice But now that you say there are there Bravo podcasters there. We didn't get it. Oh, yeah

Shane was over there. And she's gorgeous. I mean, I don't know why I'm surprised. I've seen her on the internet before. She's gorgeous there too. But she's gorgeous and just like so sparkly and Ryan Bailey was over there. And then I stopped because I was like,

I stopped to check my, check my text. I was like, hmm, is there an e-might in the spam folder that I've missed? What? Wow, well, I there an e-might in the spam folder that I've missed? What? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, I certainly did not receive an invitation. And I am sorry that I could not have gone there in my contagious state because I am COVID-positive in case you didn't hear. Well, the food was terrible and it's ugly. There I said it.

Wow. Someone who was there. Wow. Well, you know what? This goes in the folder. It goes in the folder, okay? That it did not get invited. I got, I wonder if I has anything to do with the fact that we talked to you about the bar

for 13 weeks straight on a platform. I wonder. Yeah, I have no idea. No, I'm so sorry. So, yeah. Why are they mad at me? It's that, that would be me walking in. So if I'm so sorry. So, yeah. Why are they mad at me? That would be me walking.

So if I ever met like Tamra or Kyle or some of the people that really are Reza, you know, like the people I really am a hater of on this show, if I ever walked in, like, why are they mad at me? And Tamra wasn't very nice to me. I know. I cannot imagine why. So anyway, we now go over to Kyle's house. And it's all set up.

This is like the big, the Kyle's all very excited because she feels you can just tell in her mind the way she set up all this luncheon, there's decorations everywhere. She's like, I have the best Christmas house. Cause you know what, like that character that she played and that stupid peacock movie that we watched last year where she was,

you know, with Betsy Brandt, they were competing to have who has the best Christmas display. That was not method acting, okay? That was, that was Kyle drawing from her experience. And you know, this was her being like, I have blown another water. And the rest of the episode is her just getting one up to my Diana and Kathy and it's just so great.

But she's there and Jamie Lee Curtis comes over and like probably one of the most offensive things that has ever happened on the history of the show is that the Kairan they give Jamie Lee Curtis's Jamie Lee Curtis, Kyle's friend. Oh, Ben. Ben.

Her entire career reduced down to that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that is a burn. Um, but then Kyle just keeps it going. Cause she's like, wow, Jamie Lee, you look gorgeous and stunning, Jamie Lee. I mean, I'm just a mess. Like, I mean, I just covered my gray roots. Which were hideous, great, great, great people are so gross, right? Am I right? Oh, God, Jamie Lee Curtis, like, probably gray. We're hideous great great-haired people are so gross right am I right? Oh

Jamie Lee Curtis like probably gray is like wow and then that's when she grabs Kyle's head and she just like Then she just leaves her head there communes with her Yeah, and Kyle's like It's just like keeping her head there. It's like yeah, you know like my skin is died my hair is gray and she's like, uh, it's just like keeping her head there. I'm just like, yeah, you know, like my skin is died. My hair is gray. And she's like, Kyle, I'm just reading in the desperation for my next son. Right. There you go.

Oh, my God. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. So back off, Jamie Lee, what the fuck? like I'm even defending Kyle at this point No, I totally support Jamie Lee it was her way to make Kyle shut up for a few seconds Like let's just give me a few seconds of tranquility before I have to dive into the scene and pretend I'm I'm so happy to be shooting this right now Yeah, that was

Long kiss that was Yeah, that was that long kiss. That was so hilarious. I'm just like, I don't give a shit about your great hair, Kyle. All I care about is your heart. No, she's out of like 10 times. I'm gonna get for any other reason. Except your heart. Yeah, I'm not here for your pretty house.

I'm not here for any reason other than your heart. Kyle, I'm only here for your heart house. I'm not here for any reason other than your heart. Kyle. I'm only here for your hearts. I only care about your hearts. If we get a Jamie, you're here for her hearts. Welcome to the Game Show Networks, the newest show. What is Jamie here for? Okay.

Paul, you got a, you're up. He's like, I'm gonna take the convenience store for 300. Okay, you walk into a convenience store. You see Jamie Lee Curtis, you ask her, what are you here for? Anyone, what is Jamie Lee Curtis here for? What is her brain? What is her brain?

Because it looks like Jamie Lee is trying to suck out her brain. Samuel, I'm sorry, that is incorrect. Paul, your heart, she's here for your heart. That is correct, Paul, once again. Yeah, Kyle's just got such a great heart, you guys, which is why she can't just donate to a charity. She has to have a separate wing of the charity in her own name over Jamie Lee Curtis's name, by the way, because she's like, you know, I'm going to donate to the Kyle Richards and also Jamie Lee

Curtis X X for the word by Jamie Lee Curtis too. The Kyle by Jamie Killab at the Children's Hospital, I, let me tell you something, Ronnie. Let me tell you something. Listeners, vice. Listeners of the podcast may remember our old friend Lisa Timmans. And Lisa Timmans used to work

for the Children's Hospital Los Angeles. And back, like maybe like 10 years ago, 10, nine or 10 years ago, when I was blogging more, Children's Hospital was doing this big gala and I was oddly like they like I think like maybe Lisa was doing social media or something for it but I went with Lisa to this gala and like we shot a video of like the red carpet of people walking in and they like and like we interviewed people on the red carpet for the children's hospital gala. And it was like Melody Griffith and the mayor of LA. And let me tell you something who was there.

Jamie Lee Curtis and Garsell Bove. And let me tell you who was not there that at least I don't remember, but now I'm something very nervous that I started to go down this path and I may be incorrect. But I'll just say it right now. Kyle Richards, and I will apologize later if I'm wrong.

But- Well, it wasn't in her name then. Listen, Kyle's only gonna go But I'll just say it right now. Kyle Richards and I will apologize later if I'm wrong. But- Well, it wasn't in her name then. Listen, Kyle's only gonna go if she gets top billing over Jamie Lee Curtis that she has to pay for, you know? That's Kyle with her good heart. Smith, that good heart.

I gotta go back to that heart, man. I gotta find that video. People can find it somewhere on YouTube. So Jamie's like, not Jamie Lee, Kyle's like, you know, I've known Jamie Lee Curtis since 1978, because you know, we worked together, we're actors, we're in the industry. So, you know, she's very kindhearted and thoughtful, thoughtful enough to be in tiny little letters under the Kyle Richards Foundation. I mean, she's been a movie star for over 40 years.

I love whatever a Kyle drops things like that because the implication is like, like who I'm friends with, a movie star, he's been a movie star for 40 years. So Jamie, of course, she came to home like, yeah, what up, you had Betty Davis bitch. I came. Didn't she die in that trap in that terrible tractor accident?

No, no, we rolled a little bit, but I'm fine, Kyle, I'm fine. I've rusted chicken salad. So Jamie has these enormous gift bags that she's dropping off at everyone's seat and everything. And Jamie, it's basically because it's Jamie's foundation, the My Hand in Yours, which likes to support children's hospital, which is great.

And- Also, I don't do that during COVID. Yes. Yes. That's against protocol. Or at the workplace probably. My child's- My sick child's charity, breathing without a mask.

My ride, everybody. Please welcome my charity. Swiping my fingers across your back at the water pool. Oh God. So gentle caresses yeah not washing your hands the charity so I was like um girl like yeah you know Jamie founded a charity called my hand is old but so as yours you little fucking kid, not good at it. My head and my trailer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Jamie Lee is like on, right? Yeah. Look at me on TV. Look at me film star on television. This is wacky.

Okay. Did you guys get me kissing Kyle's head? I did it three times. Can you just choose one of those? Okay. Cause I'm going to go on to the next segment. I was really trying to channel some of my work from anything but love. Okay, great. I want to do my lighting bit now. Can I do my

lighting bit? Okay, I choose lighting. Even like back in the day, I would go to business meetings and I would choose the lighting that was best, even if I had to sit on the person's desk to do it. Let me tell you something. I've got one other Jamie Lee Curtis story, which I feel like is appropriate now, since we're talking about lighting. One time I was driving on Sam Marigabolavard, and I've stopped at a light,

and there was this big black escalator next to me, and I looked over, and the back seat was lined up with my front seat, and it's like Jamie Lee Curtis, it was at night. And she was reading like a script. And the light was on her. And I said to whoever's in my car, I was like, oh my god, there's Jamie Lee Curtis. And both of them were looking like, oh my god, that's so random.

Like Jamie Lee Curtis, like right next to us. And she looked over and she saw us and she turned off the light. That was black. It was like curtain down. I was like, you do that. Good for you. Did we just get dist by the activity, lady? It was like the equivalent of someone pulling their shade down.

Like, for that video, Celine Dion, getting into a limo after a show and these people are like mobbing her. And some girl comes up and she's like Nyaaah, fuck, whaah. She just rolls up the window on her, like looking at her like you were disgusting. I haven't seen that video, I need to see it immediately. So people start arriving to this lunch, this lunch and or whatever. Diana, Shari, and Shari's like, well, wait, are we hugging? And Jamie Lee's like, I just don't know. I mean, are we extending ourselves? We're living in COVID times. Shari, come here.

God, that smells good, Shari. Who wants to lip-dent in their hair? Get over here, okay. You just inhaled Kyle. So what are you? Are you suddenly worried about COVID? I know. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So there's a lot of like I'm a hugger, I'm a hugger, the conversation between everyone and then everyone's starting to show up and Diana, of course, is in no mood for sudden in fact she literally says I am so nothing the mood for satin not at all Not at all and then to read the readers very happy Dread has full on to read scratchy voice on she's she's she's J. Beliecker. It is and she's like And then in her interview, she goes, Jenny Leeker is, how are you?

I'm like, okay. Someone's shake to re-get that thing out of her throat. She's like, Jamie Lee, is this real right now? Is this real? Well, you're pinching your fake knock off bullshit outfits. I know it's not. Why don't you lift your sleeve and do that again, please.

I just loved you in a scallop called Wendy is wonderful. So Sutton's like, wow, look at this. Jamie Lee Curtis and me, both wearing the same color. We're blending in together, Jamie Lee. And she's like, yes. And you know, if you gave me this purse, I could, Matt and you know, it was just like, bad to, although the sun, of course, is like,

she's like, oh, is this Dull-Chi? Cause I think that's, I think, Sutton maybe goes into every scenario in life asking if something's Dull-Chi. Like she goes like a summer camp, and she's like a kid running around on a t-shirt. Is that Dull-Chi? Is that Dull-Chi?

And Jamie Lee is like, oh, this is just old Alexander Wang. And Sun goes, oh, God. Like, like, oh, I was worried that you brought H&M to the party. I think Sutton just says that to everybody so she could say, I know them. I know Dolt-Jay and Kabyanna. They give me a free coach or every year from my birthday.

They do, They do. She'd come up to me where I gold maybe. Is that Dolce? Because I know. It's like no. Like it has the old Navy flamingos all over it. You know how you can recognize the print from old Navy. It's like, oh, gone.

He's wearing the flamingo print. So, settings like, I don't know, what does she say? Really cow? Because I hate these scenes when nothing's happening. No, no, they're just standing around going, you look great, oh my God, I love your pants. Oh my God, I love your shirt. Oh my God, is that a bracelet? I'd love to.

Yeah, I was thinking I wanted an inklet but something for my wrist. Yeah, oh my God, I love that, Nene too. Is that Dullchai? No, the reason why Sutton said Kyle really is because they go to the table and Suddenly looks and see that Kyle has sat her next to Diana of course and Kyle's like, haha And then I think Kyle has that look on her face like oh no, I messed up But it was like Kyle you do exactly what you were doing

But they actually rearrange it before there's any drama Yeah, and Kyle's like let's be honest. I mean no matter who I see next to her, she's got a problem here with somebody. So then, um, Sherry is like, oh my god, I have eyelash glue on, I like, lobbed it on, I think something's wrong with my eyelash glue. So, Sutton goes over to help her with that. She's like, I'm gonna put your lash on. Here's what I'm gonna tell you, good-bye. good person I'm a good person I now listen here I lash glue mother fuck get on out of you so she's like failing at the job so Jamie Lee

she's like she's like I am so into this you have no idea I mean I remember one time should you like commercial for activity at an entire container of yogurt Just fell on my eyelids. So I've this is like nothing compared to that. Okay, let me come over and here and help My eyes shit for a week. I'll show you that So So then it comes out in a big blob and to it's like that is seabatouge That is seabatouge So then it comes out in a big blob and to read it's like, that is C-b-tush! That is C-b-tush!

And that porcelain is now stuck, like Jamie Lee's trying to fix it, but C-b-tush is a mess for the rest of the episode. Her eyes like to this. It's like, part of it is stuck to the upper lid. And she keeps trying to look normal, but her eye won't close, right? So funny. So then at the other end of the table, to read, being very discreet. No, that's a rhyme. She like leans over to Diana and she's like,

gee, I heard you had lunch with Sutton. How did it go? I hope I'm not speaking too loudly so people would over here. Did she have lunch with Sutton the button? Tell me that! And Diana's like, oh terrible. Ooh, she does this like shimmy shiver. And she's like, I'm a repulsed by her. I honestly went home and I was honestly squirrebing myself. Really, really I did. I did exfoliate. She, she, she offends my space.

So then, but luckily, I think that because if Jamie Lee Curtis weren't there distracting everyone, I'm sure everyone would have, Kyle would have been like, what was that? What are you guys talking about? Huh? Oh, are you talking about the lunch that went badly? Is that what we're talking about? You know? Yes.

But Jamie Lee first took priority. Right. So then to read goes into her full asking mode as she does and she's like, oh, Jamie Lee Curtis. Mother of Tony. I just like to say we are so honored. Please, and proud to be with you, Jamie Lee. You know, one of the most difficult parts of my childhood was trying to figure out the order of all your first names. As a courtesy, Jamie, courtesy, Jamie Lee, lead, Jamie Curtis, and finally learning that

you're actually just Jamie Lee Curtis. It really clarified so many things for me, so for that, thank you and proud hands. So Jamie Lee is like, okay, well, you know what, while you're eating, while we're gonna eat, okay? I'm gonna tell you why I'm here. Now, I'm gonna show you some things from the children's charity, the very new gift, man.

Can't wanna show you some things. Can't raise any hair. Oh, me, God, I can't believe it. It's like having our own dooch here. I think it becomes this hilarious information where Jamie is basically like, okay, so what we have here, this is a tumbler. This is a tumbler you can put your beverages into. Do you see this tumbler? Sheek, that is what's called sheek.

It keeps things hot and cold This sheep this is a license plate hole. We got a license plate holder You put a license plate in this on your car Never thought to do in something like that My honest kept choice. I have the little girl who keeps coming visit my house Who did all the license plate as a drive? She says be careful mama Don't hit a speed bump or I needed this whole time was a chic lasso split hola a small towel This is a towel you can use to work out you can use it to wipe things

You can just have it as a decoration just a small plain towel She Oh my God! Whatever! Whenever we would be together, I'm Shakira right now that's so chic. I think Bar, if you're hungry you need a snack. Think Bar, you eat it, it gives you protein, it gives you nutrients, it's as simple as that. Is the song play, is the song song playing right now? I'm feeling sheaky.

That is chic. Here's something I'm very proud of in this gift. This is a small piece of paper that shows you how to turn on a ring light. Normally you have to purchase the ring light to get one of these, but we're just going to give it to you. A small two pages, very simple instructions. Does anybody have that breath because I might as well be a little square piece of gum called a chiclet? That's a chic!

The rate is like falling all over herself to saying chic for everything. For everything, I feel like the most simple, and honestly, the thing that cracked me up the most was the tumbler. Because it's just a generic hot cold tumbler. And she's acting like she has never seen one before. She literally goes, so it keeps things hot and cold. I was like, what in the 2.30 AM infomercial is this? Like, it's like, she's the one person in those audiences that really is like not being paid. She's like, oh, dehydrated the fruit, wow.

My personal favorite was the wind chime because he doesn't want a six child wind chime. Every time the wind blurs, you're like, oh my God, I choked on her six somewhere. It's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or how about what Jamie Lee Curtis brought out a dog leash and Drika's stop it right now

And then they and then jamelly at jamelly goes well that's the end of my spiel and it cuts the dianna and I I feel like in some way, maybe someone over there has listened to this podcast, but they cut to Diana giving the biggest tongue lick or lip lick of the entire season. She's like a full slow motion around the clock thing. It was like before a movie starts, like a TV thing happens when you see the five fours.

It was like, a movie starts like a TV thing happens when you see like the five fours like woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Thank you very much, Elton, Yon. I'm sorry. What's your name? Oh, yeah, Oscar party so did I did I forget did I see you at sold out Dodger Stadium doing concerts? Oh, that was Yelton So Jamie Lee's like well, oh god guys does anybody have any band-aids cuz my career's bleeding. I've got to go now. Bye. Bye. Well, not before Kyle says, well, Jamie, I was talking to Children's Hospital Los Angeles, and I decided to give. That's what it does. Yeah.

$25,000 to the Kyle Richards and Jamie Lee Curtis fund, which I just started. I added your name to mine just to make sure I had some just a little sort of gave me a little leg up there in the fam. You know, just sort of put us on the same foundation and Jimmy's like, oh, thanks. She goes, at the hospital, no Jamie Lee. Like, how rich are you?

It's like fucking Jamie Lee Curtis fine at the 7-11, okay? In fact, you think she means. And then it goes, I'm matching it. I'm matching it. And they're like, oh my god, dial out. And it cuts a sudden. And you can see for a moment that sudden wants to match it, but then it's afraid to, because then she'll look like she's

being competitive with Diana. So she just sort of mutters and moves her spoon around on the plate. I will match it and raise you. And I'm a good person. I'll get it, person. I'm donating $35,000 to the motherfucker fund. That's what I'm donating to.

The mother fucker phone. Mother fucker phone. So Kyle walks Jamie Lee out and Sheree and Sutton go sit on the couch and they're in front of the fireplace. And Sheree's like, I'm in menopause. I cannot sit next to this fire So they switch and to run to Durinba. Hey, me, I heard there was a wind chime here

Durin sits down and she's like, so I don't want to say this childly Okay, give us a second try since it didn't quite take off during lunch. So, son's like, oh, she is angry, she is one angry motherfucker, that's what I gotta say. And she's like, you know, why are you always in trouble? What's that about? And son's like, because I say what I think. And she's like, how's that working out for you? She wouldn't be in trouble if people weren't always stirring shit around.

Like, I mean, she wouldn't be in trouble right now at this second. If Dreeke wasn't in every single scene going, SOOOOOO I hate satin' turnin' me about it! So satin' she hates ya, does she? John, John! I guess what? My wine is cold, but later it's gonna be hot. It's a microwave cup from Jimmy Lee Curtis!

Hahaha. Uhhhhhh. So, uh, yeah, so, Sun's like, well, I could sit here and be quiet, and then, but then y'all are gonna be sad, and then we're talked about this before, and then you're gonna be like, oh, why isn't Sun talking? Okay, I'm like, Sun, I think you, there's a way to still have conversations with people without being totally obnoxious also. Like, I think the point is you don't have to sit down and die on it and say, so you're supposed to be in bedrest.

So that's strange. Yeah, there's no way of rephrasing that. That's going to make it better, you know. no way of rephrasing that that's gonna make it better. You know. So something's like, well, but because she's saying, look, I get what you're saying about like, if you're bitchy to me at one of my lowest moments, like that's not cool, you know, and something's like, but does it excuse you mocking me

when I'm telling some of my lowest moments? Right after you told some your lowest moments, except my two times is bad, because your lowest moment's happening to me is bad. Your lowest month is happy to meet you times. Is that a problem? And it's like I would never make fun of someone's miscarriage. And to read it's like, Butchered, the question that she was on bed rest.

Speaking of which, check out these new pillow protectors I got from Jablica. Yes, they go on a pillow. So chic. Had she led with empathy you want to have a different reaction to that? You would have known where your drug is because it was on a G. M. Lee Curtis canceling. Sounds like well she hurt my feelings terribly. So Doreet starts saying how son always makes everything about the son and she says gee If you can't see your own mistakes, he can have a lot of trouble

It's like when it's like when PK orders Pringles every single night and still doesn't understand why he has Diabetes 645 So Doreet's like do you want to fix it? Do you? I do. I do. Well, may I introduce the Jamie E. Curtis as material. It works on screws and nails. It can keep them hot, cold, summer in between. I have a pizza. So then we go to Kyle, Crystal Diana, they're talking at the bar and Crystal's of course behind the bar because you have to make everyone's drinks and They're like wow Kyle. You're such a good person. Oh my god Kyle. You are such a good Kyle. You are amazing Kyle's like I know I know it's the Kyle Richards Foundation, which you really courtesy of so I know So then crystals like you know

So I know. So then, Crystal's like, you know, so Crystal's just standing there being nice and Kragas, but how are you, Crystal? Cause I saw what you posted on Instagram about your eating disorder. I saw that. Let's talk about it. Yeah, it's like Crystal's sort of like,

she's just saying like, yeah, I haven't really quite nailed down what causes it. Or like, you know, sometimes it's nothing, sometimes it's a lot. I don't really know. She's sort of being polite, but you can sort of tell, she's, like, she probably doesn't want to talk

about this right now. And so Kyle's like, oh, is it that you don't have control or is it like an appearance thing? Crystal says it's about control. And she just shares a story about how like, she wanted to post this photo, but she didn't like how she looked at it and she felt like crap.

So that's why she posted an Instagram because she just felt like being very, really honest. And so you're like, okay, well that was nice for Sharon. But Kyle just keeps on asking and she's like, so do you binge? Is that what you do? Do you eat like very little? And then the very little you eat,

that's what you throw up. Like Kyle, read the room, you're a little bit. Yeah, I know. I was like, do you have any POV videos when you get hungry? You know, you should wear, you should wear a GoPro on no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And so then, she's like, I'm asking the hard questions because I've been fully mc twice and you've been fully mc what? Like, she's very hypocritical in the way that she's like, Satan. Okay, we're not talking about you right now, Satan.

We're talking about Diana, you know. It's very Kyle's, it's just so hypocritical. And Kyle's like, I mean, do you just eat a little and then you, or would you just eat a little and that's a problem or then do you eat a lot and then you throw up or do you just eat a little and then you, or would you just eat a little and that's a problem or then do you eat a lot and then you throw up or do you just eat a little and then you throw that up. Like, we need to know the details of, like, leave her alone. Is this like America's test kitchen,

like getting all the specifics? So, yeah, basically she's just, so, Crystal's like sharing and she's sharing about, you know, like, I'm sorry, but I have to go in on Kyle some more. So Kyle is, Kyle's basically asking her, do you not eat, is that your thing, or do you binge and purge? She said bulimia, didn't she? Isn't this already been labeled as bulimia?

So Kyle, who's like, oh, I know eating disorders. Does not know the difference between anorexia and bulimia. Leave the fuck a woman alone. This is not, I believe that Kyle knows the difference between anorexia and bulimia leave the fuck a woman alone. This is not I believe that Kyle knows the difference between anorexia and bulimia I just think that Kyle didn't listen to crystal when she told her probably that makes she's like any K who who's nanny K I would always listen did you not hear my story about V8 So guys crystal has manny Anorexia. Manny Anorexia.

Yeah, you're right. She probably just didn't listen. Yeah, God. So awkward. But anyway, I mean, so Crystal's sharing about this, what she goes through on what seems like a pretty regular basis. And she talked about how she will never order pasta, because it will trigger her.

And how that this started it when she was young, when she was like 11, because she was like the tallest kid in class, she was always in the back, and then she was also a minority, she looked different from everyone. And she just, it's really sad, because you see that she really struggles with this,

and she is really concerned about passing it on to her kids. So it was like, my heart really went on to her about this. Yeah, yeah, I mean, like she's strong to share it on TV and stuff. And Kyle's like, you know, well, I mean, when I was younger, I mean, forget having a national platform with millions of followers. Ding!

But, you know, we wouldn't even talk about that with my friends or my family. So I mean, to post it on Instagram, I mean, it seems like a cry for help. Yeah, I mean, the only person I would really ever share it with now come to think of it was probably screen legend Jamie Becurdis, but that's probably it. It's a cry for help because it's on Instagram. It's what I think every time I see you in a Coachella Instagram every single time. I'm like someone help.

Yeah. Um, but it was really sad because Crystal's basically like, I'm like someone. Yeah. But it was really sad because Crystal's basically like, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted because it's clearly a battle. She's been fighting like her whole life for most of her life. And it was like very, it was very, you know, I felt bad. And I also, you know, it's weird because like your instinct, you know, I, I want to be like, gosh, but you're so gorgeous. And then I see them saying, you're so gorgeous. And I'm like, I'm like, you know, it's deeper than just saying that. But of course, that was what ran through my mind too. But I, you know, it is sad to know that,

you know, that she's struggling so hard with these things, you know? It's just watching, it's just watching these right. Because I think Diana's pretty nice about it. You know, she's, they're both nice about it. Yeah, they're not really, Kyle's, they don't really say the right things necessarily. It's like, but you're so thin, but you're so pretty. Yeah. Not even in this particular scene, but in general. Yeah. But Kyle's like, you know, she tells us,

because I went through my own issues, I've educated myself and my daughters, and I made a conscious effort to make sure they don't go through that. So everything she says just makes me, ugh, like kind of cramps, because later her thing is, you know, she doesn't get help for it

and nothing's gonna change or what, I don't know, I'm just gonna hold a whole thing just cause Kyle's in it. I don't think this is not the person to be in this theme. I mean, it sounds like Kyle's had had frank discussions with their daughters, which I actually think is really great. But I also am like, I do wonder, you know, what sort of impact having like a mom on some of these shows, you know, where there is so much attention on like, you look great, you look fat, you know, like they're constantly going to places where

like working out, they're constantly going to places to look younger and thinner, they're constantly, you know, having stuff done. And that's by the way, everyone's prerogative. It doesn't mean that if you do that, you like, you know, you are, you know, really warping everyone's minds or whatever. But I do wonder what impact that has on some of these kids sometimes. Well, listen, I started getting, I started getting Botox and look at Puler. I mean, he's smooth as a damn bowling ball. You know, look, he can't even ask him to dance. The generational cycle. The only thing he can move anymore is his ears looking him over there. Bless his heart. Sorry, babe. Sorry. Here comes one right now.

So then they all re-to-the group reconvenes in the living room and cause like, what are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about? Because she probably overheard something, she probably heard something about like lunch and she was like, we gotta go back in that room, okay? We gotta do that. So then- I don't wanna miss, I don't wanna miss getting on set and again.

Let's go back. Yeah. So then Diana's go. Yeah. So the Diana's like, awkward. So Sun's basically, yeah, because they said we were talking about your lunch. Right. And so Diana's like, awkward. And so kind of was like, oh, well, you know, you went to lunch. So what about that?

And Sun's like, well, I think that Diana Diana isn't ready to kind of accept anything from me Even they not gonna after she looks her whole face, which let's all be honest. It's kind of awkward And I was like that's right and so cos like except what what a donation to the Kyle and Jamie fun sponsored by Kyle and Jamie Is that what you're talking about? No? No? Did you apologize? Did you accept an apology? I mean, what happened? What happened? And something's like, I'm dead in a politicizing, okay? Because I don't think she's, I've apologized already. And I don't think she's ready to ponder any kind

of relationship with me. So then Diana goes into her, Diana speech, you know, which is basically, I won't repeat it here because it's depressing, okay? But also, because it's hot. So basically she's like, look, I went through a lot and I didn't want to come to LA. I came to LA because I didn't want to be in the same space

as I was when I had just lost the baby. And then I went to Mexico with you guys and had a really good time and probably drank too much when I shouldn't have been drinking and I'm just in with you guys and had a really good time and probably drank too much when I shouldn't have been drinking and I'm just in a bad headspace. And like maybe I'm being rude, you know, and maybe it was rude when I sent that message to the group, but I'm doing my best, okay?

There, that's it. And I was like, well, okay, that's actually... It was a good, it actually was a good, a good housewife speech, right? Like that's actually what, because that's all that, that's all that they want on this show. They just want to like beat someone down

until they have to make their speech. And so that's what she did, you know, because she started bleeding again because she drank too much tequila, she said. So then they're all like, oh my God. And they're like, we thought that the miscarriage was like months, months ago. We didn't want it so soon.

And, you know, Diana says that that sudden's behavior was hurtful and that sudden should know about it better. And so, Sun's like, I was just trying to connect the way I connect with Dolce. Is that Dolce by the way? And I really was. It was an honest, honest approach to connect with you. We've had a rocky, rough and rocky start,

mostly because of you. But I'll just say I'm to blame for what? I would say 95% and you know what? Take all the time you need. what take all the time you need okay All the space you need because I am here and in closing You're still a motherfucker, okay cuz I'm a good person I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Dolce and Gabbana if you invite Donatella again. I'm bringing an axe to chop down that large

skinny Donatella again, I'm bringing an X to chop down that large skinny Horrible brown tree stuck in the middle of the studio not give me the seat. I want you mother fucker I'm sorry what I meant was I'm sorry And so crystals like wow that was actually kind of beautiful son and Diana goes climb out for both He just time out for both it is you, you know, last meeting we went to, my hat squeezed the blood out of my brain. I could have died.

So I'm out. Time out for both. So now we go to Rina's house. Rina is face-timeing with Erica and Rina basically, she's just not feel quite normal yet. And Erica's gonna get out of isolation in two days, just in time for Diana having her birthday party. And they're just basically talking about like,

you know, that it's sort of a tough time right now because the holidays, et cetera, with Lois and with Tom. And Rina's like, Harry, Pratt home, your Los Angeles magazine cover. Where's Barely Legal? I can't say I knew it, Tom. Pratt home your Los Angeles magazine cover Where's barely legal? Exposan you on top. Pratt home for us. I like that Rina is sitting on her patio

overlooking the hills of Beverly. It's gorgeous. It's sunset. And they're like, how much more can we take? I just don't know. So she, they start talking, Eric is like, oh, that's just recycled. You know, that's the, oh, they criticize me for being a bitch.

Is since when is that a crime for a woman? A woman to be a bitch is not just some quiet little woman, just doing womanly things. Well, sorry, I burned a Broadway bitch, or I just called suffrage. It's like, okay, that's pretty bad. Relax. Yeah, so I don't think that's anyone's problem that you had ambition. If you didn't actually do anything on your own, you spent the millions of dollars that were supposed to go to victims to fund that horrible career that you don't really have to

talent for. It must be honest, okay. Let's not rewrite LA Magazine, okay? Let's not. So then she talked about how Tom called her and that he calls every now and then and sometimes he recognizes her and sometimes he does it and she just, she says that he's in a memory care facility. She's like, you know, and it doesn't get better.

It only gets worse. It's kind of like listen to one of my albums. By the time you get the track's well, the main prize will just say cyanara I'm just kidding. Don't let them do me. It ages badly So Rinna's like yeah, but they said that now Tom's brother is gonna rep him and the divorce and she's like well They probably can't pay the lawyer so I can't really get the divorce, can I? So I'm legally separated, but you know what? It's ironic, because if I had the boss to him,

I'd have to give him out of money. So I'm going, thanks, I'm going. So now we go to Diana and Asher at home planning their Christmas party. Ah, Asher is so terrible. I don't know what is terrible. He's just terrible. He's like, hi guys.

Oh. He reminds me of Million Dollar Decorators. Do you remember that show? Yes, I loved that show. Loved it. So Million Dollar Decorators, one of the decorators was dating or like about to marry a guy who was way younger than him. A lot younger than him. And you know, this guy owns the firm or whatever. And so the

the guy would the young guy would come in and just act like he knows everything. He would walk in every house like, I mean, we're trying to wherever they're right. We're doing career. Oh, and that's going up and that's going. It's like you're not even a designer dude. You're like an assistant but that's a long way of saying that's what Asher is giving me, you know, like just walking around being like we're doing something in the entryway, right? We are right because it's Christmas now. I want to I want something here right here, but entryway come out so I can show you Come out so I can say right here and the entry. It's like yes, they know what a fucking door is asher Okay, yeah, I think they know fucking door is, Asher. Okay. Yeah, I think they know how to decorate a stoop. Okay, you just say, decorate the stoop.

Asher, like, I've yet to see any evidence that Diana and Asher have any sort of connection. Not saying even romantic, I'm like, they don't seem to really talk to each other. They just sort of, they just sort of talk into the air if that makes sense. It's like, she says thing, they don't even talk at each other, they just sort of talk into the air, if that makes sense. It's like, she says things, they don't even talk

at each other. Like, she just sort of says things, and he says things, and they're just geographically, you know, like close. So therefore it resembles a conversation, but I don't think there's like any, like, where are these two like married? Right. There's no, there were both like theater people, like where are these two married? Right. There were people.

There were like theater people, like they're talking out. Yes. You can't look at each other. You know. So he's just going through the house. Like, okay, it's Christmas. I wanna see a tree there.

Oh my God, do you know what I wanna see here? Something Christmasy. Did everyone write that down? I said something Christmasy. Okay, ornaments. Do we have ornaments? Have you considered ornaments on the trees? Like, yes, we've, we have ornaments and tinsel. Yes. And stockings. Yes. And Easter Bunny just testing you, we're paying attention. No, but we do have to go out. No Easter Bunny's in the entryway. Let me show you where that is. Come on, I'm gonna show you.

So then they go outside and okay, there's only one place. You know, it's like a typical house in LA. It's like $90 million and then the backyard is like this big, right? So there's a pool and then there's one square of deck. So there's only one place you're gonna put the bar outside. I mean, otherwise it's going in the pool. This is not a sprawling backyard. So he walks to the deck and he goes,

where should we put the bar? And he goes, we could lose this section. And I was like, well, I don't want to lose anything exactly because then where would the people sit? And he's like, no, well, I mean, they're not gonna lay down. I mean, they're not gonna just lay down. She goes, you don't know if my part is. Lady.

It's a big decision on where to put the bar. There's only one place to put the bar. You know what, lady? If you wanna really show how rich you are, why don't you cover your pool? Okay, you and Christine did it on selling sunset. So why don't you cover your pool? Okay, even Christine did it on selling sunset. So why don't you do it? Okay.

They even did that on. It's a wonderful life. And George's house was being, you know, taken back from the bank. And they kind of did that on, don't tell mom the babysitter said, they listed a bridge, a runway,

the point is that. Why don't you just do this on a roller coaster through the mine like they didn't go me's Why should you do this on a rainbow road like they do on Mario Kart But either way I don't know I was like annoyed by this debate about like but what about the Shaz lounges because they'll stand here I was like this I have you guys have even thrown a party and this, do you guys understand space, like, like, spatial arrangements, how people need to walk and move?

It was stupid. And then Dan is just funny, because he's acting like he does anything. You don't do dick, Asher. Everybody knows it. Yeah. You're like a kept man, which is fine. You know, good for you.

But stop walking around, bossing around the people who know what they're doing. You guys aren't doing shit for this party, and everybody knows it. Go to your room, Ashur. I know. Like, warming up in Yugoslavia, we didn't celebrate Christmas because of communism.

So the first time I saw the beauty of Christmas, I was in London, they really light up those streets. I had to exfoliate myself afterwards, but I had the exfoliation. I just want to turn my house into a winter vandaland. Yeah, I go over top for sure. So then, um, app continues to box everybody around. And I'm sorry to interrupt. This is the thing, I knew there was something

about this thing that really cracked me up. While they're having this debate about like Asher saying, like, let's have the bar here and we'll clear the chairs and Diana's like, no, we'll keep the chairs because people may want to sit on them and then it cuts the urge goes, I am the, I'm the big ojrima of the two of us. I'm like, wow, dear to dream,

keeping loungers out at your party. Like, wow, you really, that clarity of vision that you had, Diana, thank you for bringing sharing that with us. He's a sensible one and I'm the creative. The creative who just demands in the world where people sit. I imagine the world where we kind of bar and the Shaz lounge in the same space. Wow, she is a dreamer. I do the dream of time going by. So I was like, oh, and I imagine trees, like Christmas trees, like just everywhere, just where trees can go.

Okay, I sure. So then we go to Kathy's house. Kathy's back. Yes, the contract has finally been signed. I'm assuming that's what this all means. So she is a, she's sort of prancing around her house. She's sort of like sort of singing. She's not doing like, filalala la, but she's going like, la la la la, right? And she's like, oh, I'm a mess. She's like,

oh, I'm a mess. Gaga, Gaga, Gaga, Gaga, Gaga, Gaga,, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, And I'm never gonna eat that much Paula Paula Paula His name is Paula specifically Paula. You know this woman's name is Joanne by the way. Let's be honest She's like she came into my fabric store and made me serve a caviar for a day and changed my name Oh, what the fuck? She's like I'm so way to go home I just helped her bring groceries to the to the car and suddenly she just put me in and made me drive her home and now I've been working for her for three weeks. I just need to get home to my family. So Kyle comes over of course and they look at Kathy's house which is supposedly all decked out for Christmas but I don't know. It's just like so big and white and old looking. I don't really see much. I mean, I see the trees and I see the stuff they put around the doorways, but I'm like, yeah.

Well, there was like one giant pile of like ornaments, right? There was, but there were Christmas. There were trees everywhere. The point that what matters most is not what you saw It's what matters is what Kyle saw what Kyle saw was how that was better decorated than hers And she was like, oh my god. Oh god. I mean, what did you do? Raid the coffers of the Kyle and Jamie foundation to pay for all of this. This is crazy. I have started a Christmas fund for sick children called the Kyle Richards and also Santa Claus too. But you like to do me. And the best is the way the way that Kathy is just able to casually upstage Kyle, because I feel like such an underachiever in Kathy's like, Oh, come over here. Look, oh, this over here, you know, I just did this for architectural digest,

which comes out on the 23rd. What, what, what prestige is magazine? Did you do anything for a Kyle? So they go on about that and then they go outside to eat. And Kyle's like, yeah, I need to order that. And Kathy's like, oh, you want to order Kyle? So they sit down to eat. And Kathy's like, well, first of all, trying to get in touch with you.

I was like trying to pull a hemorrhoid out of a bull's tush, Kyle. The fact that she think farmers do all day. Is she having a Patrick right here, Lines? She's like Patrick, I need to have a line to give to Kyle when I start to see, and he's like, uh, man, madame, how about something about pulling hemorrhoids out of the bull's tush?

Shhh. Cool work. So, can I just like really, Kathy? How about something about pulling him right out of the booze to sh? Cool work. So can I say really Kathy? It's like you have cold a million times call and she's like, okay, give me your phone Okay, I'm gonna have to bring out the receipts on this Kathy and she says I don't have my phone. It's completely lost Carol It's maybe comes out My name's not Carol. Yeah. Just that I'm the closest to the door.

What can I do for you? I love Carol. Like her comment was, Kathy's brand manager. And I loved it as brand manager. Carol just has to sort of stand around and then like fetch phones for her. That's like her brand management.

She goes, Carol, where's my phone? She goes, I don't know. Could you find it, Carol? Of Carol. Come on. Carol's got a lot of attitude, but she's really good at getting an angel up on a tree. We keep her.

We keep it. It's my brand. Yeah, I mean, she's got an MBA from MIT, but we'd like to use her just to put things on trees. So then Kyle is like pulling up her phone and she shows all the text messages. She sent to Katty that Katty never responded to. And then she calls Katty's phone

and it goes directly to voicemail and she's like, see, this is why you don't hear from me. Katty's basically like, You're blocked. You are blocked, Kyle. How many times do people need to explain to you? You are blocked from Katty's phone. She's never unblocked you.

Yeah, so she's like, wait, I mean Kathy, how long have you been saying that you can't dial your phone and your assistant was gonna make your phone work? I mean, come on, Kathy. She's like, yeah, it still doesn't work that's so weird. Wait, where are they moving my chair back? That's so weird. I mean, here you are, right?

Hey, Kathy! Well, I don't know why you're going over the fence like that. That is so crazy. So then Paula arrives at just places two giant baked potatoes in front of them. And I was like, what, what is happening here? Just like, it wasn't. There's no anything. Just two baked potatoes. So then I think maybe was this like in certain ways I felt like this was Kathy showing her relatable she is and then also how completely unrelated she is because she's showing how to like open up a big potato. So you got to take a knife and you slice and here's what you do it.

She puts like a napkin over and pushes it open. It's like Kathy teaches us the basics. See she's just like us. She knows how to use a big potato. Yeah. And she's like, Oh, Paula, thank you. Thank you for bringing me this knife. And Kyle's like, Oh, really? Now it's Paula. I thought it was lady before. But now it's Paula. Yeah. So then then Kathy now that she's opened up her big potato, she starts scooping all this sour cream and like enormous, enormous amounts of caviar, just like overflowing with caviar. And she's just putting it all into this giant big potato. Oh, I was, she says that.

I was from a famous place in Paris. So I don't know if that's a thing that they do. Rich people, if she is. It probably is, but I was just like, it was a huge, like that was rich people, if she's- It probably is, but I was just like, it was a huge, like that was an expensive potato. That's for sure.

And she was just like, oh, whatever. I'm barely gonna be able to eat all this. Yeah. And she's salting it, you know, which I don't think you're supposed to do the caviar. Yeah.

Well, whatever, if you guys do your thing, I'm poor. Okay. I'm a lot of getting it. And Kyle's like, is this an entree or is it an appetizer and Kathy's like, hmm, what?

I ask you a question, is it an entree or appetizer? Huh? Were you listening to my question, Kathy? Anyway, it's an entree. I don't even know why you're talking. It should have gone straight to the mail in the voice. So I'm not really sure. So, Kraus, like, yeah, I guess if you pour thousands

of dollars onto a potato, it's an entree. So, Kathy's like, I guess if you pour thousands of dollars onto a potato it's an entree So she's like so Kathy's like I mean tell me this where do you find someone to help you? You've got four servants there right now. We just saw them on camera And she's like it's just so hard. I'm so overwhelmed I mean I have so many gifts my fingers hurt stores don't deliver you can't find ribbon anymore And then someone peed on my sofa the other time Okay, cuz like a person a dog or a Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm sorry Jamie Lee Curtis was at my house Kathy my house I forgot Like no, it was someone someone peed on my couch

She's a person peed on your sofa. It's like yes I'm who peeing on her couch. You don't have to go to this couch. I'm trying, I don't even know the people in her orbit, but I'm going to just say, I'll say it was Chris Kardashian. We're starting that rumor. Chris Kardashian peed on Kathy. The old couch.

Why don't you smell the doubt? You see Kim run by with the sheet wrapped around her. With like a 32 ounce jug of iced tea. Oh, Kim's all over the three cap today. So then Kathy's like, and my carpets are ruined. The whole house was falling apart and Kaljasafs are so that so now we go to die now we go to Diana's house. It's like party time.

And so Ashur has come out. At first, I thought, like, wow, he really is. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. He has. At first, I was going to say it was Constantine Maruelos here, but then the more I looked at it, I'm more I realized it was kind of just like Dana Delaney here. I was like, I was like, I appreciate the Dana Delaney cosplay he's kind of doing. Yeah, so she, Diana's like, well, pandemic messing with me bad, because I usually have more guests about. I'm trying to make it's policy. I'm trying to fill this space. Oh, it's going to be Christmas miracle for sure. And she's like, oh my god, I need more ribbon over here.

More ribbon, I'll free. So now, Ridd is in glam. And then she's getting a FaceTime from Crystal. And Crystal's basically says that Doreet has COVID. And then we go to Erica who's in glam. And Mikey, of course, she's overseeing. I mean, he's just like, game magic, game magic, game magic.

And she's like, Well, I'm gonna have a few drawings. I've been having a good time lightly. Well, it might be too much of a good time. Uh-huh. And he goes, do you want one now? She goes, yeah, I do.

And he's like, okay, look at you one. Alcoholism storyline, game game magic sad sad game magic I like that Mikey has to stop whatever he's doing on that day to go over to Eric Is house to watch her get makeup put on and then bring her champagne That's like what he does just to watch it just to watch the process That's like what he does. Just to watch it, just to watch the process. Yeah. So then back at Diana's, okay, so he's from like,

Asher is like in this little red velvet suit. It's like nine of the Roxbury, right? He's got the black shirt, the necklace, and everything. It's like literally nine of the Roxbury with Dana Delaney here. Yeah, and Diana comes in like a black sequined calf down. It's, I'm not really sure what Diane is doing. It was like some retro thing.

It was like a turtle neck that never stopped. It was like, are you in follies? Is follies on tour? It was like, I'm from Bosnia. I'm from Bosnia, but my dear. I'm still here from Bosnia. It was like she rose up out of a sequined puddle. It was like, it was like drape,

it felt like she was connected to the floor or something like that. Bosnia, you go to lobby a Christmas. So, so now people are showing up. Her son shows up social, of course. She's like, oh, it's my son. She becomes very Yolanda when she's around her son, you know, she's like, oh, he's. Adada. Adada. Her son seems nice-ish, but he really needs to learn how to close his

mouth when he eats because that really grossed me out last week. This is how he's exactly right. I'm not sure. Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Oh, so Rinna's like, there was money spent on this party. Honey, cat. I said, honey, like that. I know he's like, game magic. So Rinna's like, Erica, are you gonna drink? She's like, well, yeah, I'm gonna drink, but maybe not as much as I have,

I got a cell, okay. Ah, Rinna is like, oh, you can definitely sleep over. I left chairs out, I'm a dreamer. And there's drinks, like, one is the galley gassum, and Rinna is like, I have galley gassam here. This is what I'm drinking. And it's like a drink and like a little ornament or something which is cute.

But then the rest of them have her like a neuro bull shit in it. Like, do I really, like thanks for having me over. Do I really have to drink a neuro drink with Mavadka? Get that shit out of my face. I forgot that she has that. Is that like a water or something like that? Or what's her neuro thing? It has like sound like

Oh my god that improves everything inside of you. No, no Well, I mean until I can start holding beverages both hot and cold. I'm not impressed. Okay so Yeah, so then Crystal shows up. She's in this like really bright green sequined, very short dress and everything. And so she's just like, wow, Crystal, and she's talking to Diana's kids about getting dresses, the Grinch.

So that was a thing that happened. I just zoned out. I'm so sorry, I was looking at my notes. And then I was like, I'm bored. I'm bored with these notes. So, um, so, Kyle comes over and she's wearing a mask, you know, the lady who just had everybody over to hug Group hug Jamie Lee at the same time. I was like, oh my god, I'm so worried. So, um, She's like, oh, I got this as a thank you, Diane. I brought you a thank you gift for having us over. It looks like books stacked on each other,

but it's really a box. Read what the books say on the outside. Jamie Lee, the cart is hot, cold, keychain, dog leash, cancer, Kyle foundation. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's by way the most appropriate thing that Kyle would ever give is something that looks like something you read But you don't even read it at all like that's like that's Kyle's life. It's like an at-late times article And it's not good is and it's something that Diana would not ever have like a box

It looks like a stack of books like now I have something to return to guineas hidden. They've brought ever fucks with me again. I know her. I know her So they talk about how Saturn's not going to be coming either. Yeah, she's positive. Gov'id. So then Kyle beats Diana's son and then and then Erica goes up to the sun and she goes, yeah, Mal, so I just didn't know he's like, I'm 22.

Damn, I'm really striking out with these kids this season. So yeah, you too aren't married then, wanna fuck both of you. I could be in the middle of the year, not a bunch of me in the top, the top bun. All right, I'll be in mind being the top bun on that single with cheese. I'm around, let's get a moment. So then Kathy arrives. So now she's like her first group scene of the season.

So everyone's like, oh Kathy, she's like, well, hello, and at Kathy, like she meets she meets in us and she's like, oh, you know, Paris, don't you? He's like, yeah, I know, Paris. Wow, the way he said that, he's like, sure, do you? I know, Paris. My light just went out. I was like, what are you? What are you suggesting, sir? Tell us what you know. My light is protesting this, this, this moment. It has just, is it? I was like, you only have me for half an hour. I guess so. I don't know. It's a brand new light or an hour. It really wasn't up. I don't know. It's a brand new light or an hour.

It really wasn't up to the task. Okay, it's back. So let's see here. They talk about each other's outfits because it's a Beverly Hills. So let's take 20 minutes and talk about how everybody's stressed. So they do that. And then they're making fun of crystals because it's so short. Yeah.

It's a really short dress. And Kathy is like, put your hands up. That's how you know if it's so short. Yeah. Like it's a really short dress. And Kathy's like, put your hands up. That's how you know if it's too short dear, and she starts lifting her arms and the dress lifts. It's hilarious. So Garcelle comes over with a gold sparkle top thing and a unicorn for the baby, for Diana's baby. And you know, I can't wait to see that floating down

the LA river, because you know the second Garcelle left Diana was like fuck this I'm from Bosnia unicorn bitch. Yeah, yeah, exactly So yeah, Garsell says like well Diana was out of control at my party So my gift to her it's coming to her party not bring any bad energy, which she didn't do at my party If you heard the first part of my sentence, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha doesn't want anybody to, yeah, you need to talk to the boys and don't like this. Okay. So Garsell and Crystal are talking to Erica. Oh, God. So this is where it gets really awkward. So first off, Garsell goes, you look thin, which doesn't really sound like a compliment. And you know, you shouldn't be saying that to someone with an eating disorder.

Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, Garsell. Garcell, you should do that. Especially because in a few moments, you're going to be rightfully making statements about what you shouldn't say to someone with an eating disorder. But also maybe revise your language, I don't know. I think at first I thought everyone's being so weird about Crystal suddenly in this episode.

But I think it's because she posted that Instagram. So everybody's like, oh, okay, Crystal posted this Instagram on a shooting day, so this is a crystal like eating disorder storyline kind of an eight, that's all I can think of, because I'm like, why is everybody suddenly being awkward about this, being problematic basically about this

at the exact same time, right? Yeah. So Crystal says, well, I'm not thin. And she goes, oh, just say thank you, Crystal. Just say thank you. And Erica's like, oh, so what you saying is, you don't feel good about it. You don't feel good about looking thin, huh, man?

We'll talk about that. Yeah, she's like, oh, you're regular. And she crystals like, yeah, I don't care. So is it that you eat it and you feel guilty or you deny yourself? And she's like, no, I eat it and I feel guilty. need to deny yourself? And she's like no, I I eat it and I feel guilty. I have a heart. I can't be with it and Erica's like wow Well, I always think take laxatives and get rid of it

What what I have cannot Believe I could not believe the Erica said that. That was like, I was shocked. I actually paused and I was like, what just happened? I know, I was like, what was that? I guess like anyone familiar with bulimia and eating disorders knows, laxatives is considered a part of bulimia, it can't be, you know, it's another form of purging

after you've eaten. So what a stupid fucking thing to say. So then I was like, well, did Erica mean it like Sutton did? Like, I'm just trying to get along with you. Is she trying to say it like- Was she trying to be funny? I understand. I have an eating disorder because I take laxatives,

or was she, what the fuck? Like I couldn't make sense of even Erica knows that you don't say that, right? Yeah, it was so, it was just so straight. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be like, if she was just trying to be like, super down, like up and down this path before I get it to, sister,

but it didn't really come off that way. It was just, or like. Don't be blaming, take like, city of, I mean, what the fuck? So then, and that's just how it starts, okay? So, if there's a really long pause, while Crystal's like, I don't know, Gersel just goes, wow.

Yeah. Wow. So Gersel tells us a laxative. She has an eating disorder. Eric is not a doctor. You don't prescribe laxatives to someone with an eating disorder. That is the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time to look,

someone who looks so fabulously thin as I told her. Yeah, she already looks thin. She doesn't need to have laxative talk. So, um, so then Eric is asking Crystal what happens when she purges. And Crystal says she, she feels a lot better. I'm sure Crystal really loves having to talk about this at like a Christmas party when she just, like she, she's just trying to have fun. And so Crystal's like, she's like, you know,

sometimes I look aloof because it's me just like, think about it, which I thought was interesting actually because, you know, there was a lot of times, like I remember last season during the dinner party from Hell Part II when I felt like they would just cut to Crystal during that scene and she was like not participating and she was just like staring off. And the truth party from Hell Part 2, when it felt like they would just cut to crystal during that scene and she was not participating and she was just staring off.

And the truth is that after hearing that, she probably was thinking I just ate all this shit and her mind was probably a little bit elsewhere, which is sad. So Erica goes, okay, I'm gonna be a really gross right now, okay. Have you ever stuck two fingers up Mikey Minden's asshole? Cause I just did it earlier with fun. Okay. Oh God. So she's like, what do you feel? What happens after you, when you're not supposed to eat? She goes, well, you know, I purge and that's like the relief of it. And there he goes,

Oh, a relief. Okay. So, but you didn't join it going down. You enjoyed it going down. Oh my God. So, and then we get the musical cue my favorite So then crystals like yeah, she was all and then you feel killed right like I gotta get rid of this and She goes yeah, I'm gonna be gross right now, but you know you would rather vomit it up, but I'd rather poop it out Thanks thanks for that perspective. So, Crystal tells us, is she trying to be hopeful or she had too many drinks? Because as long as she's gonna be bothering me

about the set of party, I'm gonna put it in the order that she's an alcoholic. So, Erica's like, well, if you had treatment and she's like, no, and Erica's like, well, you know what, you know what, you know what better come out You know what's gotta come out a better crystal like oh, okay, so then it's like back to the party and a waiter comes walking out and he has He has like appetizers I was really I'm that was me. That was my cause to say bring it to the end, Roddy

Right, so he has he has appetizers and so Erica takes when the crystal goes up to get one And she's oh you can't have this crystal it's a chicken tender All right, I'm either the well the believe it got to eat a fucking chicken. Then again You believe it. I just told her a story of putting two fingers up my he's asked She still wants a chicken finger I'm very is. It's like, don't I mean the episode ended with my my face in my hands. And it's a lot to make me feel awkward.

But yeah, this is what I was like, wow. I mean, to be fair, Erica is, um, I was not expecting her to go down the Ramona path this season, but she kind of is now. This has been like two episodes where she's really like, you're like, what are you doing, Erica? But then I was like, isn't this what we sort of always wanted from America? I can't tell, but this is really,

this was pretty like terrible. And like it's almost like, she is, I feel like she's never like socialized with people before or something and now she's like trying to have personality and she's just like, she's trash. She's trash is what she, okay, look, here's the thing. She always talked in her, her first seasons about how she hated all the women's, the women that were around Tom's law firm because it was like the wives and the wives would always look down on her and judge her and she's just like this

Street smart hip chick who's down, you know, she's like down Erica's down. So then we see Now when all of the filters have been stripped from her that she is just one of those ignorant Idiots who just says cringe thing after cringe thing Idiots. It just says cringe thing after cringe thing. No, it's like, she's become all the people that she looked down upon. Well, I feel like she has, well, she is not, I think she's, she's, I think that like the only people

she spends time with are, it's like her glam squad. And I, you can see how like this kind of like, this kind of humor, like works probably with the glam squad, like super ascetic, cutting gay humor. Because I can imagine a gay of like, this kind of humor, like works probably with the glam squad, like super ascetic, cutting gay humor. Because I can imagine a gay being like, you can't, you got to, you need to sort of, you can't have this. Haha bitch.

Like I can see that like with us gays. I really can't see people doing that. And I don't think she realizes that like that kind of banter doesn't translate out of her glam squad. And that's why it's like, like, that's what I'm saying. It's like, this is why she struggles, because she doesn't have friends outside of her glam squad. And it's like not translating very well at all.

Yeah, she doesn't have people saying, like, that's problematic. I just found it interesting that it's two cast members who basically had this conversation in separate scenes. It's like they decided, and you know that Kyle and Erica, the final flops or whatever they're called, all get together and talk about what they're going to

bring on camera, you know, because they're always coordinated. So it just seemed weird that it's this episode that's coordinated about going after Crystal about eating disorder stuff, because Kyle's stuff was weird. Her like, but why do you do it? When do you do it? How do you fight? Well, what are you now? That was weird and then Erica comes in doing the exact same thing. Now granted, Erica did add a couple extra helpings of cringe on there. She really did.

But it was so similar that I'm like, what are you guys doing? Like, what are you doing? Is this planned and what's the point? Yeah. Oh, this fucking show gets me. Yeah. This wild.

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