Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: A Wrinkle in Time

Episode Date: January 17, 2018

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finds its petty fight of the season. It's a Time Fight! Enjoy! To hear our bonus episodes, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Our lucky little grand topper, Kelly Grant! And Lizzie Drucker, she's a fun mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on you, Ralphs. I'm Ronnie Caron from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast, which is new and exciting and on so go subscribe. And here I am with my little bestie from the Westy with his adorable face and

adoptable Ken Buddy. Mr. Ben Mandelker of the V side vlog in the Banta Blinda. Hello, Bean. Ron, honey. Hello. I have been waiting here for about 53 minutes for this podcast to start. Honestly, honestly, I don't care whether it's six or 53. I've hired a nanny to take care of my board games and I would rather be home with my board games. Okay. It was six minutes. I can't believe people change in times. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hello, and hi, and also, hello, bim! Hello. Hey Ronnie, look, there's a cloud over there, and look, there's a field down there.

I'm saying that because we're actually, by the time everyone listens to this, we're on a plane to Boston. Oh, I was like, what did I miss from the show? I didn't take that in my notes. You know, did someone go skydiving? It's like, you know, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, am I skydiving right now, baby? Wow, wow, wow, guys, we just love skydiving.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, if you hate this podcast today, you can't tell us because we were in the year. So suck it. That's right. Yeah, although if if we if we purchase our go-go in fly wireless, then guess what? You can tell us. And we probably will. Why lie? Um, guys, welcome to Watch What Crappens Beverly Hills Day. Just a quick reminder, go buy your merch, get some Watch What Crappens shirts, etc. at Watch What Crappens.bons.com also we're on national tour on our way to our first date of 2018 in Boston our first two dates The first show is tomorrow night Thursday where we will be doing our first ever live Vandipump rules recap and We have another show on Saturday where we will be doing the Rita Housewives of New Jersey Plus the top something of something we're gonna do like a list or something for that show

Which we haven't announced yet. We'll add some sizzles to both shows, you know to fill it out because You know we got time. Why not? So There's that we've also announced a new date in Irvine being tale the folks way Well, it's only the most exciting place in all of Irvine. It is the improv in Irvine, California, on April 15, tax day. So do your taxes and then celebrate with us.

So don't cry into the new tax plan. Come laugh with us and try to ignore all the money you now owe. Because we're going to have a good time because all of our all of our dates have for 2018 have really been in the East Coast or the Midwest. So this is a people have been saying, but what about California? Don't forget California. Well, we're not going to because we are going to be here in a home territory, Irvine, Orange County, you know, Orange County is fun,

fun places, fun things down there. We always have a Friday night. We have a couple little friends out there. You do Guys do it now for today Watchcraft.com by the way for all the links for all of what we just talked about yes now for today. It is a huge day And season eight of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Huge. Because real Housewives of Beverly Hills is most famous at least in my head for having entire seasons about the pettiest shit you could ever imagine. The fights are always the dumbest. Season one was, did you or did you not call me insecure? And if you didn't call me

insecure, did you say I felt insignificant? What was the whole Camille thing? It was about like who would care about Camille if Frazier is not there. Right. And then and it goes on and on and on. Last year was Panigate, you know, did Erica purposely show her badge by not wearing panties. I mean, it's the it's the most shallow shit ever. And the season, you know, after being burned by Orange County, I think a lot of people are like, are the housewives over? No, they're not. And this episode really proves to us that it's still committed to fighting for an entire season about some of the pettiest shit ever made. So welcome to the welcome. Were you in our late or six minutes late episode?

Yeah. The last us until episode 22. And I can promise everyone I have specific opinions about this fight. There are. Ben has some strong feelings about time. Strong feelings. Strong feelings. But first we start the episode.

And I sort of felt like I had a Ronnie moment because I was watching the opening taglines and everything. And when it came to Teddy's tagline, I don't even remember what she says. Something about like I have kids and horses. She turns around. I'm like, I feel like her Ted likes to just be like, I'm Teddy.

You know, that's like what her energy is. I'm Teddy. just be like, I'm Teddy. You know, that's like what her energy is. And I'm Teddy. The most Teddy things you could do. Uh, that's how it's going to be in my head for now. I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. So we open with these clips of Beverly people walking the streets of Beverly Hills. And we get this shot of this woman with such severe thigh gap, you know, and in this town, everyone's like, Yeah, that's so hot.

Anywhere else. It's like that is so sad. Get some help. I somehow missed this thigh gap creature. It disturbed me because it was like a full, I don't know how to say like, I don't understand inches and stuff. Yeah, but it was like a full baby carrot that we're with. Oh, Kit-Kat. So that's bigger than a baby carrot.

Kit-Kat, I know. Like serious, serious. Like it wasn't even a thigh gap. It was like a boredom offense. Like it was like that one. Wow. It's like a credit card slot. You could just put like a slide something right through it

and we'd never touch the thighs. If credit, yeah. OK. OK okay credit card. Yeah, yeah, this is getting more disturbing as we sit on it. I guess people often talk about that about asses, right? The slot, whatever. Well, that's why invention is a slot for gogo boys. It's like the the stripe machine, but it would fit somewhere on their thong.

And then you could just tip them with your credit card and I mean who carries cash, you know. It would be great if they had a little square reader like on an arm band or something and you just go you know exactly. It would be great. I like it. I like it. You're welcome go go boys. Don't say I never helped you. Free lap dances for both of us please. So so then we we settle in on to read. She's in her kitchen with her assistant Molly, and Molly's making her tea. And Doreet is talking about her career as a great swimwear designer and how she was showing her collection all around the world,

designing for Guy Richie or something like that. And I was on the cusp of doing going to the next level and then I met PK and I'm like, I think that's a common phrase. I was on the cusp of doing going to the next level. And then I met PK. And I'm like, I think that's a common phrase. I was on the cusp of doing something great. And then I met PK. He's like the great virus that just ruins every life he touches. He'll be part of Boy George's Cabaret Act. I love that Doreet's assistant has kind of a fake accent too. She's like, yes. Hello, did you know? Put your mouth on the water. And Doreet's like, yes I would.

I need an Uber boost before this swim meeting. An Uber boost. And she's like, I'm at Park High. And he wanted me to let Garza did. I wouldn't take back a single die. Thank you. Our out of control ridiculous. And she's like, I've called every bimba and turn over to talk about it.

So all these ladies start piling in. And she's like, my love, Lesza. I've been skittin' along for the past few months. And I know that because it's pouring out to me. It's gonna be an amazing line. It's pouring out to me. Like all the string bikini sketches come on. It's going to be a kill-e-connect collection, guys. I've named it Navar because Phoenix's middle name is Navar

and in Hebrew it means beautiful, and all the women go, oh so sweet. Pinnout's properly, sounds like never. Yes, exactly. Which is probably when this is going to start turning a profit. Nava, it rolls off to get tongue, don't you think, ladies? Guys, I want to launch this for Spring 2015. Oh, Dereet, I think there may be a problem with your calendar.

Oh my god, guys, it's crazy. I mean, I know I'm not too years late for the Spring 2015. I think I may, maybe it most, a week late. At most, I'm six minutes late to 2015 Spring. At mosted guys. What kind of a year tries to make you look like a dumb dumb? I was on the verge of being able to tell time and then I met P.K. and he said, I want you to give up time to spend more time with children. I thought that was so poetic P.K. guys.

One of the problems. I don't understand clocks. What's a clock? Hey, if you're watch out. If you don't watch out, I don't understand clocks. What's a clock? Hey, if you're watch out, if you don't watch out, I'll clock you! Kid, I don't even know what to mean. Guys, all my clocks melted. No, you were just looking at a dolly. I love my dollies.

One of the girls goes, 2017, that's big expectations moment. She goes, oh no, it's the way I run my life Great expectations. I don't think that ended well But it's been a long time since I read it all I know is that I can't imagine to eat hold up in some Crazy big mansion gathering cobwebs in dust So miss have a sh, reference everyone, Miss Havisham, anyone? Miss Havisham! Assam! What a great idea for a suit! Never! I think she's just trying to start fights with people so she can say, never! Get your ass my swimwear

on! It's a very heavy treat. So by the way, so any of that or three years. It's like a turn back. She was in every scene and we really saw the limitations of what she could do with her new Bob. She was like, it'll be a little wavy. Now it's straight, severe straight. And now half is straight and half is wavy. Oh, look, I put a curling.

Never. So, you did go to her. Hi, I'm Teddy. Hi, I'm Teddy. I've got kids. There was cry whenever I leave. Never so I'm Teddy hi, I'm Teddy of our kids There was cry whenever I leave it's like hilarious to like bird attached. I love my kids She's like guys just stay here and play trolls while I go have lunch with one get it get the kids Yeah

She's like they always cry when I leave and our kids are like Hey, why you got to freeze me all the time? I'm Tirty I'm so So then so then we go back to Doreet and she's like I Feel like guys I feel like this loin has to be a flexion of me guys and then and then in the minions like you know what red is having Such a moment right now. I'm like, it's a primary color girl. Red is having such a moment. And Dreat goes, so so well because PK just started representing Kristaburg, you

know, Lady and Red. And ambulance just went by even there using it in a roast. What's black and white and black and white and red all over? This moment. It's having a moment red all over We're reds moment end never In two months ago Well, you know what they say guys 15 minutes of fame, okay? We started about 35 minutes ago and we're about 90 minutes left in it So Teddy's like she goes into this restaurant

she's like hi I'm Teddy. I'm like okay, go sit over there. Yeah, it's like okay. I'm surprised you didn't see me on Ron in the corner because that's I feel like we've been in there a few times. Yeah, it's been pretty. So the editors are hilarious on this show because they're playing this like mystery music. It's like don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

I was like, it's like babies mystery music like someone's on a stakeout, you know? Yeah. And Teddy's sitting there drinking a glass of wine, you know, upset that she's not at home watching trolls. I'm like, please Teddy, you should be to be drinking a glass of wine right now. Also, things start to make sense for me because remember last season, Dread was like, Mom, how did you possibly find flatbread in Los Angeles? I just can't find it anywhere.

And remember we were like, it's on Fairfax Avenue. Just go there, just go, proof. It's called Peter Bread. She can't get to Fairfax. Just wear those restaurants. See if you can. Mm. Fairfax. Just wear those rest honours. Moooo! Have you been to a fair fax? Who have the fax anymore, mum? Guys, faxes are having a moment, okay?

Red faxes that... Red fax. Red fax. Alright, okay. Okay, thank you, my darlings. I have to go to fair facts now. And I see some red things with some person named Teddy. I'm supposed to be there in three minutes, so I'll be there in 45, okay?

So you know how Maya Angelitoa assaults a person tells you right in the start who they are and you must listen. Okay, this is Teddy. I'm always punctual. Thank you. You see? It totally holds true. It's true. So we see, it's like cross dissolve, after cross dissolve, 415 PM, 420 PM, 424 PM, 429 PM,

433 PM. I'm now actually getting mad. I'm watching this. I'm like, this is definitely then Teddy and Teddy's mad. So at 4.36 PM, Teddy sends a text to Doreet saying, Hey, babe, word about you. Are you still coming to our drinks? I'm Teddy. And so I'm like laughing because it's so passive aggressive, the word about you part, you know, because she's not worried about her. But it's her way of saying like, if you try it to like,

like you will never be able to choose me of being the bad guy here because I'm actually fainting some concern about you Even though I'm not concerned at all. I'm really mad. Yeah, she's like if I wanted to get wasted I could have done it in the comfort of my home getting finger shot with my children Yeah, watching the trolls and every time they cut back to Doreet They showed the time when they cut back to Doreet and she's like red Thank you Like okay Steve Jobs calm down over there When am I going to seek Teddy never?

That's my swim line. She's like I'm out of here check. Please. He's like what check. Please. What I'm Teddy please get out here Chuck, please, he's like, what? Chuck, please, what? I'm Teddy. Please get out. Here's your check. Teddy, did you pull this one glass of wine and water? Get the fuck out. Yeah.

Meanwhile though, I could secretly watch Teddy sitting in a restaurant doing nothing like for hours. I was like endlessly fascinated with her just sitting there. I was like some weird relaxation. Like it should have been put up in Lachma, you know? You know when they have this like a video install installation, it's usually of some person doing nothing

I could watch Teddy sitting in plan check just be like and by the way I hope that that you appreciated the irony that this whole situation and the ensuing Argument of whether or not to read was late took place revolving around a restaurant called plan check As they uncheck your plan bitch For people who don't live in LA that's the same with the restaurant plan. Oh so funny So she's like I know Bill Gates, but I think you can talk in text because Doreet finally calls and Teddy's like you're alive And she's like did it mill over of course I'm alive. I'm barely functioning but alive

I was on a phone overseas. I'm just flying back now I was lazy focused on the swimwear meeting. I realized the time I grabbed my purse and I got on the first private jet Teddy Teddy and I'm oh, I still love that our-Duridim personations are wildly different. Well, here's is correct. Mine is just a federal thought to you to both hear Drowns and the world. Tete, I'm alive.

I got your text. I'm alive. And I just, I was on the phone. I got so lazy to focus. I couldn't answer a text because why would I answer a text? I'm on the phone I don't want a text in drive at the same time even though I am a passenger and I have a seriously tight deadline tonight Because red is having a moment and it might be done by tonight I hope you understand Teddy and she's Teddy's like

well I have to run out because I want to spend time with my kids tonight So I got a sitter like it I want to spend time with my kids tonight. So I'm not a sitter. Like, it's all about her budget with Teddy. She's like, I paid for a sitter. So like, I wouldn't pay for that. Like, that's ridiculous, okay? But I got one because I'm Teddy.

If I were Teddy, I would. I'm Teddy. If I were Teddy, I just wouldn't have said anything. Like, well, listen, I've waited here for an hour, so I've got to go. Don't say I want to spend time with my kids tonight, because that's so, like, that's, it just sounds like, well, you can spend time with kids still, you know, like, that just sounds, that's like, you bitch. I'm not here to wait for you, okay? And to read it's like, but, did he swim well?

It's furious tight deadlines. I'm like, no, it's not. It's a swimsuit. And she's like, uh, wait, we're where she goes. I thought we had between four and five or four, thirty and five, thirty. Because she's basically saying to Teddy, like, no, don't say that you want to see your kids because technically, you're free until five, thirty. That's when we booked our time. That's when the producer said we'd be meeting up. So, but Doreet doesn't understand that when you're an hour late you forfeit the whole window. Sorry. He wants to admit that she's an hour late anyway.

She's like, oh, so we said whenever the furious did lan's were looming, but I was coming through anyway. It's like no one cares about your stupid swim line you. I know. She's like, Batch. It's like, I'm sorry I'm late, but I didn't even realize what time it was guys. Okay, and then so it tastes like,

well how far away are you? It's like, hold on. How far away are we? I mean, here the driver would be like 15 to 20 minutes away and Dreeke goes, hmm, I worry about traffic. I worry about traffic. I worry about it too, Dury. That's why usually you plan for it. Plan check. And Teddy's like, uh, thanks for the sorry, but for me, it's like a different kind of person that doesn't even know that they're late. Okay. And then it shows the time as 453. And I was like, this is the best storyline in the season so far.

Because this is by the way, this, if this is not relatable to every one of us, then you're part of the problem. If you don't relate to this story, you're part of the problem because for anyone who has been on the receiving, who has been the Teddy in the situation, who is like that thing, we're like, what point do I bail?

And the worst is when you're just about to bail, and then someone calls and you're like, fuck, I was just about to bail, and now I've got a set of year, and then they make you wait another 20 to 30 minutes just to get there. Yeah. And then it's like it's your fault because they've already, oh no, don't leave. I just got into my car.

I've started to drive to you. Don't leave. You can't leave. I just started to drive. It's like, well, I already did the driving and I'm here and I've been here. I have a 20 minute deadline and my friends know it because look, I'm a flaky performer and I'm friends with flaky performers which means everybody late and they're like this and so I've instituted a 20 minute rule and I usually will wait 30 but those

people I don't call again I do not want to stand there waiting for your ass okay yeah and I used to be a late I used to run late my friends will always but was never like, I don't believe I was ever a 45 minute to an hour late person. I was always like a 10 to 15 minute late person, which is still very annoying. And I don't like it. I don't like that anymore. If ever I'm running really late like that now, you know, there's like a flow of texts and updates. Girl, I will text your ass. I will send you my location so you can see my uber crawling along towards you. Yeah, the only time it's acceptable to be significantly late to that is if you're going to like a party, a barbecue, or it's like a really, or if you have some sort of like generic plan,

like, hey, let's get, let's go to the, let's go to the grove later today. Okay, I'll text you and I'm done working out and then it's like, oh, it's hard to work on it took long. If it's like sort of a nebulous plan, it's okay. You see, this is exactly why storylines like this are important. It's 21 minutes in and we're talking about when lateness is appropriate. You see, it's like fucking magic this so I'm telling you. Well, because this is a really relatable situation. I really, I actually really believe that. It's more relatable than, um, hey, you were nice to me when you, uh, when you were on dish nation. Well, you were nice to me when you were on watch what happens live. That's not relatable. Sorry. We've all waited. Yeah.

So now we're sorry, I think it's funny because it is true. It's like the smallest things we can co-on forever about. And this is one of them. And we will be for the entire season. I guarantee you. And I don't know where Teddy lives, but she lives in the hills somewhere. It's not easy to go from the hills to get to Planchek, which is close to the Grove, and it gets traffic. And by the way, she was there at four o'clock. The traffic has already started in L.A. and the traffic to get home is going to be bad. And I don't know where, if the read isn't Beverly Hills or Belair, you better believe it's going to take more than, you know, 20 minutes to get home is gonna be bad and I don't know where if to read is in Beverly Hills or Belair You better believe it's gonna take more than you know 20 minutes to get to plan check

Yeah, and also neither one of them eats that much and one of them's an accountability coach who lost a ton of weight Why are you going to a burger place? So weird. Yeah, yeah exactly by the way. Yeah, you're Tidee's an accountability coach. You can't be with an accountability coach because you know what she's gonna do? How'd you accountable? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh animals like I don't have swans or horses but I still have a farm. I'm like I don't care. She's so quietly competitive. It's hilarious. Yes and now she's not wearing her agency hat but she has Portia wearing her an American woman hat. Right. And so she's making a sandwich for Portia and then she's like I'm calling Lisa Rina. I'm like why do you think Portia cares? Yeah. Porti does not care. She's like, twoodles.

Waah, kiss as... Yeah, she's working on her lines for her next commercial audition. Yeah, she's like taking a fiver for sitting in the scene. She's like, excuse me, mom, I'm going to go sit on the counter. So, uh, so, Rinna calls up and she's like, Hi, hi, yeah. I'm going to New York I'm gonna be subbing in for Kelly on live with Ryan and Kelly yeah I almost was Kelly

myself I'm not bitter at all Regis love me hi it was almost me Regis called me one time and he said Rina I gotta tell you you came close kid you came close but it was between Ripa and Rina Rina, RINNA, RIPA, RINNA, RIPA, RINNA, RIPRIN, RIPRIN, RIPRIN, I'm glad she got that job, gosh, she's so good at it, I wouldn't have been as good, I mean, I probably wouldn't have been pretty good, I mean, I would have been great at it, who's kidding, I'm very happy, no regrets, no anger, no bitterness. So, Karla's like, okay, we'll say hi to Brian C. Chris, David Sitcom, and she's like, okay, bye. So it's Villa Roza, Schnookie the fat ponytail dog is a graceless nerd, and I love this dog, okay?

That's a dog, it's like, it's like I'm chatting. I'm chatting. Schnookie, I love this dog. He's like, Lisa is like, look darling, I fret door and it's like, whoa, whoa. It can't see because I hear it so far down. It's huge. It's not like really lap-sidible,

but it tries anyway. This is my favorite kind of dog. It's basically in a perpetual state of being Lily Tomlin and big business in the bathroom scene. Whoa! But with Charo here. I like it. I think we could be friends. You know, we can all go to Elaine's. Elaine, who's Elaine?

Speaking of Elaine, Snoke's kind of like a lane dancing on Seinfeld. Just that awkward jerky,ky like just so excited. So dogs so Lisa goes over to her dog store her new dog store at this point and she's like hello gorgeous orphan dogs and her assistant guys like oh my god do you have Rico or Chico? Isn't that when I like does a raco and a Chico? Soon we're gonna get a nico. Agh! I gave my first two buttons on my shirt up for adoption so

So basically Lisa's they were put to death unfortunately We found new homes for my buttons It's great this this business van op-hump dogs does great things finding homes for dogs and the top two buttons on my shirt We have so we made it my top two buttons. That's so sad I'll suck sad. There's a button you'll ongoing on right now. It's not right so So Lisa van opump is like We were going to support a charity called saving spot We were going to support a charity called saving spot

But we decided to withdraw Because things were little sketchy one moment the job as ringing So let me see I want to take the high risk Imminently oh yeah, she's like so we started our own and I want to take the high risk dogs in imminent danger of being killed Also the ones that are the cutest let the ugly ones die because remember when she said let's take the cutest of the bunch and get them Adopted like there's no ugly ones there, okay, it's like Dead cute man walking Sorry, I'm back. It was as a hello fresh box. I know perfect timing.

We're on a plane right now. So look, we just got a delivery on a plane. No, we already said that we had recorded this time up before our flight. You guys crap in 30. You can get your hello fresh in the air for a discount crap in 30 hello fresh.com This would be a good time for you to insert the dynamically inserted ad into our show Well, that was a good musical bed. That's why I did it all right carry on then I have to write down a time code Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life, but come on Some days parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares of our freshly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Now, thank you for ruining my flow. Ben. Ben. Hey, I was the one who was mid-sentiles like Dog Bell, anyway. Just like a dog would run towards if it were alive Things were a little sketchy with saving spot shall we say So I thought that was pretty fishy that she said that sketchy thing I was like what does she mean and why would she even bring it up which we find out later

But yeah, like we've saved so many dogs with good genes. It's validated our judgemental salonatures. Yeah, I love having the rescue center even though it is riddled with emotion in a term while. I was like what? What do you mean emotional term while like? Oh, we recreating the grapes of wrath in Vanderpump dogs. grapes of wrath and Vanderpump dogs. You're like, you're like, you're just, you're just working right this. Well, we're talking grapes. Please adopt us. Vandipump sangria on your way out.

So, um, she sees this little furry dog and she's like, it looks like a, I will fuck you once a year on your birthday. Guns it everybody. Guns it everybody! Guns it! The dog was like, woof, all knock you, spark out, woof! So Kyle arrives at Kelly, Pally Hotel. Yes, now this is very exciting because they went to the heart and the hunter, which is the restaurant in the Pally Hotel, and my parents were recently in town and we went there for breakfast one morning

and we really enjoyed it and we actually enjoyed it so much. We went back and both times we sat at the same table and we sat in the same seating arrangement and I'm proud to announce that Kyle sat where my mom sat and Eric sat where my dad sat and I was like, oh my god, it's like my mom and dad. And then my parents became obsessed with the avocado toast there. And guess what, Kyle and Erica ordered the avocado toast. I was like, it's my life. I'm watching my life right now. Oh my god.

Did your mother street park a jack? No, my mom was like Benjamin. There's a spot. Ben. My dad was like Benjamin, Benjamin park right. Why don't you park right here Benjamin The way there's like hello welcome to heart and hunter. I'm your waiter, but really I'm your writer see have classes like who needs those in 2017 I do cuz I'm smart

I'll put your Claire's glasses So Erica comes in and she's been robotically programmed to see some stuff today. She's like, oh, how well is that meat juice? Oh, wow, Tokyo. What a whirlwind. Yeah, wow, those runnickas. They're really great girls.

They're really doing amazing things. They do so many things and cause like, yeah, well, I have two shows in development. I'm like, oh, are your TV shows in Vogue? I don't think so. It's not the same as having model daughters. everyone knows. So you're developing Vogue? She's like, no, it means like TV shows. I'm going to networks. Networks of Vogue?

No. The big television shows. Are those the things you read and the line of the grocery store? So I've heard. No. It's on television. The YouTube? No, Erica. It's a grocery store so I've had no It's on television the YouTube no Congratulations anyway kid Tom broke his ankle She's like oh so we can we can talk about that instead of my TV shows Combination of me finally be able to do something for myself for once without my sisters involvement. That's that's fine culmination of me finally be able to do something for myself for once without my sisters involvement. That's fun

I was like um, I'm spiritually dead because I've used storylines that aren't really my own to profit my sisters are upset. So. Well, did I mention Tom Max-Vogue? I'll tell you something. Just like, okay, great. Thanks for meeting me. Kyle's like, do you ever get the feeling that the people who were just sitting here were discussing the merits of the posts? I feel like there was like,

the family that was here, the just seen the posts. And we're still reflecting on it the next morning. Why is somebody yelling Benjamin? There's a spot. Benjamin, there's a spot. I'm going to make a show about it and profit. You're like, wait a minute, that was my story.

I'm hearing a faint echo of saying Benjamin, I'll let the chair for your mother. Carles, like, well, I would have been telling her that I just sold a show about a younger woman married to a really old guy that finances her YouTube career. Wait a minute. Hey, I thought you weren't listening to my inner thoughts, Erica. I'm a kind of a bug. Okay, but I just sold a show about Tom Tom's ankle. It's called Hope Springs Eternal. Sorry, I was muted to blow my nose while I was laughing. That made a really pretty picture

over here. It's not as bad as it sounds. Oh my god. I'm writing that down and making you so out of it. Is Eric at home with Mikey and Mikey's like Excuse me. What she's not at home away from home. It's my home away from Tom's ankle. Mikey, I think you're about to say this before I corrected you. Uh, but yeah, Mikey comes and he's like, this job lag is so real. It's so real. It's every kind of feel of thing. Okay, that's him. She's like, oh my god. It hit you like three days later. It's like, it's like, it's like, little lag. It's like, there's a lag on the lag.

Get it, Maka? This lag is over again. Hello, Smith. It's like, by the way, yeah. Mr. G had a car accident, but he's fine. And Maki's like, Mrs. G from Facts of Life. I love that, man. She's okay.

Where do we set flowers? where do we set flowers? Where do we set flowers? Where's Joe? Tudy must be beside herself, that's... That's stupid bitch crashing her motorcycle. Well, we all know Mrs. Garrett drives a motorcycle. She's a bad bitch bitch. And Mikey goes, when did you get this call?

Like he's been with you 24 hours a day. And she's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Close the home, by the way. Just a good reminder that anyone can break the rank goal even when you're close to home. The biggest accident happened close to home. No, Erica, that's not going to be your ballot.

All right, we'll try. So he's like, oh my god, so much was running through your mind. And she's like, it was? And he's like, yeah, you were thinking, oh my god, Tom, I love my life. What's going to happen to that batch? I hope that batch is OK. I would give my own soul the same hit.

I was thinking that you sure were. Oh, that is okay. I would give my own soul the same hit. I was thinking that you sure were Oh, that's right. I was thinking I would give my own soul to be with line line Him Him He's like, yeah, I see you feel things bad She's like, wow

I thought to myself, can I manage this house alone? Like this could all be taken away in a second. Well, glad your emotions were stirred by all the monetary things you could lose. Jesus Christ! Well, I actually, I didn't think it was, it was like a gold diggy moment. I actually thought it was, because at first I was like, wow, she's really going on about this ankle. Like, it sucks that he broke his ankle, but like, it's, it's relax. It's an ankle. But then, you know, I actually get it.

What she was saying was like, you know, it could have been worse. I could have lost him. And then all of a sudden, I'm in this world without him and I have all this stuff, like, to take care of, etc. And like, can I do this? What's life like without him? She saw his mortality, uh, because she got been saying, for the first time, it wasn't superhuman. He was human. It was human. It was shocking, it was strange.

He wasn't shooting ice out of his hands. He wasn't transforming the other gorgeous blue women. Oh, you know how that goes. He's like, oh, he'll be okay. I just devoid going home. And he's like, if you need help, bad. I would never have you host that asshole down. He's rich, she could hire a soap, Mikey.

And he's like, I didn't mean that bad. So I'm gonna pick up funeral flowers that look fabulous. That's, thanks. Well, anyway, so then we go, the producers are having fun with this show. They're like, well, nothing's really been happening except that Teddy had to wait a little bit. So let's try to make it seem like something really exciting

is happening. So they show us a sports car driving down the street. They added Foley to it to go like, ah, and then they cut to sock footage of a police officer driving like, wee wee wee wee. I'm like, thank you for trying to orchestrate a police chase in the middle of the show. We know we just sort of cobbled it together with sound effects and B-roll, but we appreciate that.

I like it. I like it. Doreet, did you see that? There was red on top of that police car. The moment of red! But then it was a blue moment, and then a red moment, and then a blue moment. It just shows fashion is fickle but guess what? My swimwear is for never.

So they also showed a close up of what looked like bulletproof vests which I was like what is about to happen but it turns out to be weighted vests because Teddy and Kyle are meeting to work out together. I'm kind of like, am I gonna die here? The guy at the front desk is like, hey! Yeah, here's one of those people who's excited to greet someone to the point where it's like, you be Kyle, okay? Okay.

Hi! We have to say, if you normally would have to greet someone, do it again. Hi! Hi! We have to say like if you normally would agree someone do it again. Hi! Hi! Okay, now you be Kyle. No, no, you Okay, starting with Andy me the way I want you to like like if you were to meet someone for the first time What would you say at a fucking exercise desk? Hi, and then I would scan my Hi, and then I would scan my

Hello, no basically Here I'll do it again. Hi How are you? Good me I'm just curious about starting good before you finish saying how are you? That's what I was trying to get at and I was hoping you were gonna say how are you? But what I've learned is that when you go to exercise classes, you don't ask how the instructors are doing. That's what I've learned. Not the front desk people.

You don't want to ask them how they're doing. Trust. I've made that mistake before. Sometimes I'll answer you. Girl, keep it to yourself. I've got my own stress. It's, I always say hi, how's it going? And then I always, when I leave Uber's,

I always go, they always like, have a great time. I'm like, I'm like, you two, see you later. and I'm like, I'm never going to see them again, but I always say, see you later. Why do I do that? Yeah, because you never know. We're all interconnected. You never know. It's like, you know what?

I'm going to see you later, and that means maybe we'll both be alive in a few months and run into each other again. Which is positivity. It's not good boy. It's see you later. So Kyle and Teddy do this exercise class with it like climbing sort of thing, whatever. And Kyle's thing was on the hardest setting and she's like, oh my God, I'm touch a goofball.

I can't believe that, whatever. So they go to this health food place called like Beamley or something. And on the front it says super food porridge bar and cause like oh my god I love these places no you don't nobody loves so I eat porridge bars it's like the three bears being fat-samed you know super food porridge bar that's the thing I've ever heard and Kyle's looking at the calories on the back of the juices and she she's like, 400 calories.

What is this? A fat burger in a glass? People don't drink. Because if it is, I'd like a free one, please. Do you want to sponsor a party? Super food porridge bar. SFPB. Sam's just go to these apartments. So Kyle's like, Oh, I heard about Doreet.

She said she was 20 minutes late and you freaked out. And she's like, wow, I'm Teddy. And Teddy is better at numbers than Doreet because she was 55 minutes late. So I don't know if she's trying to change the narrative or she's into hashtag fake news like Teddy. Stop making yourself more interesting with political hot button words, OK? Yeah, Teddy is Stop making your, trying to make yourself more interesting with political hot button words, okay?

Yeah, Teddy is doing the thing, you know, cause she's like holding her hands right in front of her, which for some reason I just always know it is how she always holds her hands. And she's, she's basically like, I mean, I was gonna make a big thing about it cause I'm Teddy, but now to read, talking about Tic-Tac-Hile about it.

So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make like a little bit slightly larger thing about it than what I would have done before. So yeah, so she's talking to Ticyle about it. And bass is like, no, I was there at four o'clock and I waited 53 minutes and Kyle's like, oh, okay. So meanwhile, this is kind of loves this because she's going to be right in the middle of this stupid drama. And she's just like getting right doing what. So meanwhile, this is kind of loves this because she's going to be right in the middle of this stupid drama. And she's just like getting right doing what she does

best, which is stirring the pot. Yes. And she's already on to reach side, you know. Yeah. It's like, um, guess what? I heard a nanny. She was like, mm-hmm. I'm rich. So, um, it really goes to the hotel in New York. And the lady's like, hello, welcome to the hotel in New York. And the lady said hello, welcome to the Andes and Rin is like, wow, hello, hi, hi, oh, hello, room, hello, and she starts bowing like she's still in Tokyo. And she's like, thank you. Thank you. Wow, hi, that bow was her way of saying, I'm going to give you every single kind of visual cue to indicate that I want you to leave me right now

because I need to get wiping down the suite. It's a big suite, it's gonna take 45 minutes and you need to leave right now. Ha ha ha. Huh? Hurry got to, Mookie Tuck Tuck. Did I say it right? Wow, while we got to, go now.

While we got to, so of course, we got to. Are people doing coke in the bathroom of this hotel So she whips out the germ wipes and they start playing clown mystery Renid germ white music and split screaming it with the last time we saw her wiping down a hotel room Which is for that. Yes, it was like three. It was like, it was a net percent of 24 that was going back in time. Mm. Bleep. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep.

Hi. Hi. Jack. Hi. Hi. Hello, Jack. Jack, we face time in. We have to, we're closing in on Alphayette.

We need to, we need to do this right now. Of course, Jack. Hi. Hi. No, uh, can, can you give me the coordinates, Lorina? Okay, coordinates. Let's see. I'm sure they're in here somewhere. Hold on, Jack. By the way, I saw Regis the other day. He says, Hi, I need the coordinates, Rina. Hi. Just based on numerology alone. Would you have chosen Rina or Ripper?

Ha ha ha. Be honest, Jack. Be honest, are we got to Jack? Oh wait, hold on, Jack, you there. Oh, I was wiping down the phone and I hit the hang-up. That was Jack! I think we lost him. I think he got through the perimeter. Oh well. I was almost part of 24, then Jack died mysteriously. R-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- So she sits down and face times Harry Hamlin and he's like hello.

Oh, hi! Hello, hi! Harry Hamlin, hi! Hello, hi! And he's, yeah. I just can say she's like, I've been getting texts all day that you mean. Are you being mean, Harry Hamlin? And he's basically like, well, I was in the middle of an investment meeting and the girls just went up and left and went to dinner, didn't tell me where they were going. And that's just not acceptable. He actually, and I only got this on rewind because I was trying to get a screenshot because I was in the middle of an investor meeting dinner and they just got up and got onto their

boat. What? I was in the middle of an investor meeting dinner and they just got up and got onto their boat Because they have like an island in Canada, I think They're on like a lake. I guess it's just such a funny way to put it He's like they just got up from dinner and got onto their boat and left Well, did they do their laundry? He's like well, we did half of it They put it in the washer and didn't dry us. They got a wet sheet now, but it'll be done in 30 minutes. She's like, that's right, Harry Hamlin.

You're in charge, Harry Hamlin. Now put Delilah on. Hi, Delilah. Hello. Hi, she's like, I heard you learn how to do laundry today. Delilah is like, mom, that is so rude. I know how to do laundry today. So I was like, mom, that is so rude. I know how to do laundry. And if you guys are here, I'm going to take advantage of that.

That's all mom. Oh my god. Oh my god. I know how to do it, mom. You put it, you put stuff in a machine, and then you put soap, and then you press a button, and then you listen to it, and it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah and then I don't know what happens after that

because someone else finishes it but you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. So now I'm gonna raise assholes. Okay. That's my point. We make our kids do half of their laundry so that they're only half assholes. I'm winning. So let's see what else.

So now they go, so now Kyle goes to Frida, which is a restaurant in Beverly Hills and one eyebrow. Yeah, and yeah, you go in there, just come in with two, you leave with one. Join together. And Doreet comes in and she's like, hello, Foxy Foxy. Hello Foxy Fox guys.

Do I see a Fox over there or a hound? I think I see a Fox, Fox Foxy Foxy Fox Fox Fox. You're so Foxy, it could be your own news network, oh, and crowd's like having a moment. Fox? Uh, you're so Foxy, it could be your own news network, Carl. And Carl's like, Fox is having a moment. Ha ha ha. Guess what foxes are?

Red! They're red, Carl. And Carl's like, oh my God, do you change your hair? Which I think they just must be rearranging the order in which they shoot things and then in the show. Because at this point, everyone's seen to read short hair, but everyone keeps marveling over how it's different and it's like,

well, I love changing my hair. You're never going to see me with the same hairstyle for 30 years. Let's see like, wait. Let's see if the camera. Wait. Wait, burn. So you didn't comb your hair today. So you've got one up on somebody. It's just like a mess her hair. She's like, it's different brides. So Kyle's like, what would you do if I left and said you took too long? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Cause she has that squeal laugh too. Yeah, she's like, yeah. She's like, ha ha ha. And to read, it's like, Kim, we're talking about that, Kyle. Tilly, she texted me, I took six minutes. She's like, well, she said it was an hour. The fact that she told you an hour, when it was six minutes is unfair to me. It's unfair to the truth.

It's unfair to Daddy Tom. Kyle. Kyle. That's an unfair recollection of the truth, Kyle. I mean, she got it text me at six minutes. I mean, it's ridiculous. I'm like, well, even if you were supposed to meet at 4.30, you still called at 4.53 and you were still 20 minutes late from there. You still had 20 minutes to go, which meant that she still would have been waiting for 40 more minutes. And on top of that, then you'd only have 10 minutes until you

hit the 5.30 end of the window to reach. So, like, you can massage however you want to, but if you only have a one-hour window, you don't like aim to get there at 520, okay? And then she does that typical, direct thing where she's like, well, I was under the impression that I was only a little late. So, if that's what you thought, then it makes it okay, you know? Well, I was in the middle late. And she's like, nah, Ka, just know that if you ever late with Leaving when I'm on the way to be there was a little abrupt. I would say I think it's a little abrupt

I mean, I mean is it really so hard to wait an hour and twenty minutes for me? I don't think so Carls like well look I would never wait an hour for anybody okay Like you don't break up a And Karles, like, well, look, I would never wait now for anybody, okay? Like, you don't break up a friendship for 20 minutes now, 56. I'm just kidding. You're just like, oh, I don't know what you're talking about. What are you doing with yourself?

I love red. And Karles, like, oh, I'm signing Tuneesh's today when I leave here. And she's like, signing? What the heck in the sign, you're naan to him? Where are all these shows? Are they red? It's like networks.

Sows on networks. Where are those magazines, Scott? No. TV shows. So you have a show on a social media network? Is that what you're saying? No, no, no. It's like, well, I'm gonna cheer you on like your own mother would.

And college starts the ball because her own mother's never cheered her on before. And the fourth thing that's all thing is so sad. Well, her mother obviously is, you know, on the bottom shelf of a bookshelf or whatever. But the sisters are mad and Kyle, I'm glad that she at least kind of admitted some of what's going on here because she's hurt, which I would totally get because no one's happy for her success. But I'm sure if you ask the sisters why they're not supportive, Kyle's has been kind of went behind the back, stole a bunch of clients according to online sources and made

his own company, which is now doing extremely well. By the way, the agency is probably like a prime competitor with Hilton and the island. And then she's taking her Life story which was all of their life stories and she's profiting off off of it And now in multiple ways and not offering them any kind of say in anything which They're not there selling so I don't think that they're entitled to it either. They could have done it too They could have sold something to yes, I I suppose so, but I don't want kind of, you know, a kind of me come on. Kind of like, oh, well, if you sell a story called like

living with Ronnie, just because we knew each other one time and weren't even like Ronnie, do you want to help or partner up? I'd be like, that's not fair. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm like, okay, as I scratch off living with Ronnie. Like, okay, no, so, living with Ronnie is my show. No, I'm just thinking, here's the thing. I feel like sometimes all the, I feel like all the normal rules are off when it comes to this family because they are a dysfunctional family that was raised with a mom who wanted them all to be famous and They're all they all are very self-interested. That's the impression that I get I think there are families wildly fascinating and I I think that um I

Don't know I don't here's the thing. It's hard for me to really really weigh in when I don't know what Kyle's conversations We're like with Kathy and Kim because Kathy and Kim are not saints by any stretch of the imagination, okay? Because I can imagine Kyle being like, oh my god, I, you know, like John Wells was like, we should do a show together about like growing up in LA or childhood, whatever. I thought it'd be fun. And I would not be surprised if a version of the reality was, yeah, no, you should totally do that. That'd be fun. Cause they're like, whatever, it's not gonna happen. It's stupid Kyle. She never gets anything off the floor. You know, the real star has came and I'm the one and Katty's like,

and I'm the responsible one around here. And then Kyle actually gets something going and they're like, wait, whoa, what's going on? Oh, you're just gonna do this behind our backs. And Kyle's probably like, wait, no, I like taught you guys about it, but you guys didn't seem interested. And then they're like, oh, fuck you. And then, you know, in my mind, I wouldn't be surprised if that's how I played out.

Maybe, I mean, we won't, you're right, and we won't know what goes on behind the scenes. But the fact is, she's selling a show about her life, which she's totally entitled to do, but her life also had to do with being, you know, the sister of a celebrity with the stage mother that's based on her mother and stuff like that. So I'm not sure. But these are also, I will say that I'm usually a hater of Kyle. And for whatever reason, I'm finding her perfectly enjoyable this year. Why?

Who knows? Well, I support Kyle. And I think that, um, I think that she has two sisters who've never really been happy for her. And I think that Kyle has been, she has been in a situation where she's always had to take care of Kim. She's just had to be sort of the run for the litter. And yet, at the same time, also been given this obligation that you have to be the responsible one.

And Kathy got a free pass because maybe because she's their half-sister, so it's not the same. responsible one and Kathy got a free pass because maybe because she was their half-sister so it's not the same and You know Kim always lords all this stuff over Kyle and I feel like any success Kyle has had as she said She's had to she's had to share with the sisters, right? And I I just can see this is being Like I just think it's it's not as simple as oh you're running something about the whole family and you're not like, you know, you're going off and doing it and you're not including us. There's like a little Cinderella in the sepsis

that's going on and I think that's tough on Kyle and I'm sympathetic to it. Yeah, I don't have it going on in my life. That's not why I'm not sympathetic like that. I'm just, I just feel like. That's why I felt that it is. If it was not... Well, I'm empathetic.

Well, I'm empathetic is putting yourself and someone else's shoes or whatever. Then I just feel like if it was a lot of that I mean that it is putting yourself in someone else's shoes or whatever Then I just feel for her then yeah, well that's allowed, you know, I just feel like she has a shitty situation And it's just never ever gonna get easier because they're all fucked up. Yeah, there are always gonna be fighting or whatever She's not invited to Christmas Well, I mean if you feel like you I mean, I don't even need to go on about it anymore. Like, I'm taking Kathy aside. I mean, that's when I have to stop and say, Ronnie, you're taking the side of Kathy Hilton. So maybe you need to just rethink things and just shut up for a minute. Yeah, Kyle is the one.

The one that should all family going on. You know, I hate to break it. The news there. But family going on, you know, I hate to break it, the news there. But yeah. Um, so let's see, she's trying to talk about her shows and to read like read, read. And she's going to sell two shows at two more shows. And they're also about her. Different. Yeah. Yeah. So she puts it in the way of like, you know, my husband for years worked for my brother and mom that went off and in his own, way of like, you know, my husband for years worked for my brother and mom that went off in an a son like people do, you know, it's complicated, which is what I brought up in the beginning was I'm glad she's at least talking about it like that, even if it's probably smoothing it over whatever I'm glad she brought it up. But don't forget that these are petty sisters also.

Don't forget that they didn't invite Kyle to some wedding. Remember that one time. Yes. Don't forget that. Yeah, right. That was right after Mauricio was starting his own business. Yeah, but I'm saying all of this. But would you, I mean, could you imagine not inviting your sister to your daughter's wedding

because of because of this real estate bullshit you smile and if she took major clients and seek you know behind your back and like how many I mean yeah but I mean I don't know if that's true. This is just shit. We're reading on the internet. So it's like stupid even fight about it. I still think even that I'm sure we'll have all season to revisit. Oh yeah. We will we will have years to revisit. My favorite thing was that. So, Kyle starts to, starts to stop because no one ever is really happy for Kyle and her family. So, for her to say, for Doreet to say, I'm going to cheer you on like your own mother would. So, Kyle starts to stop and then Doreet starts to stop because she can't help making a batter self too.

And Kyle's like, is my makeup running? And she's like, oh, oh make I'll let you borrow the glam squad Lady you didn't even come your hair. So yeah, how about speaking glam beyond time for a couple of dates in a row Speaking of glam squads we then see Rina getting her hair done by I believe one of the Bee Gees I could be wrong. Isn't that what the surviving member that wasn't that very good? Yes, it means like total ass kiss celebrity hair stylist. He's like, you're everything. They need you on this show. Regis loves you. She's like, well, what are you going to do with my hair?

He's like, I'm doing Lisa Rina. Okay, Lisa Rina in the rain. Lisa Rina on the run in the magazine. Which decade, Lisa Rina? He's like, it's all the same. Just stay still. You gorgeous, gorgeous, RIPPA. You gorgeous RIPPA. Yeah. Browns, coppers, browns, coppers. the same just stay still you gorgeous gorgeous ripper you gorgeous ripper yeah

browns coppers browns coppers I know the I know the way it goes. Rin is like I was almost on that show I mean look Kelly it's the perfect fit perfect so so perfect I'm gonna be on her chair I mean I've done this so many times never with Kelly rippera, hopefully enough. But now I'm doing it with Ryan. But I'm sitting in her chair. I'm gonna sit in her goddamn mother fucking chair. Ari got so hello.

Hey, you know who's a real stand up guy? Michael Strayhan. Yeah. What do you think about that Kelly? Yeah. He's a real hustler. I like a hustler, right, Kelly? We all like Michael Streahan, right Kelly?

So then they show um footage of Rena co-hosting and Ryan Seacrest's like whoa Lisa Rena I feel like I've known you forever and she goes yeah That's a perfect thing to say because you know they have to like Ryan Seacrest mouth is so big It's like he can unhinch his jaw and die like Pac-Man now. Hold back to a show three hours ago. Three days ago. Three days ago. Yeah. So then meanwhile we then see it looks like the bottom half of the Stranger Things monster but it's actually to read in purple boots showing up at Lisa's house. Lisa! Guys, Purple's having a moment because you know what, red and blue together, they make purple. That's why I learned from the police officer.

So she shows up, she gets Lisa, and then we cut over to red O, which is having, oh my god, Ronnie, it all comes together, red O. Yes. So, right across the street from the crappy woods. Oh my god Ronnie it all comes together red oh Cross the street from the crappy walls that's right. Oh my god. That's gonna be so fun. So I was having a red oomint That restaurant dropped the M from moment and also the Ment it just says oh, but it really means red moment. I know it. I don't want to eat to the place called red So so Kim it's it's

That's a Kim. We know. Oh my god. My brain is fully melting Pac-Man style call back to two minutes ago Which was a call back to three episodes ago? It's Camille. It's Teddy and and it's Kyle, not Kim. And they're all hanging out. I always love a Kim and it's seen Kyle. I was like, Kim's not here because I was like, Kim Zolciac. I was like, my brain, my brain. So Camille, Kyle turns to, uh, Rhinist delayed or whatever. Oh, hi, hi, moa. Moa, moa, this guacamole is delicious. Moa, hi guacamole. The tennis delayed or whatever This guacamole is delicious. Oh, hi guacamole I was like look Camille and Teddy you guys can talk now because I'm sure dinner you couldn't hear anything

I was sitting there with a wooden spoon ready to stir some shit. Yeah, she's like so Teddy Have you talked to read lately full on shit stirring. And Teddy's like, I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. I couldn't hear anything. So then we get a cross cut with thunder bumping Doreet having lunch together at something Blanca. Now someone posted a while ago this picture of Lisa eating, well, a couple of guests, one was her putting salt on something. And it was just like, bam, bam, bam, like horrible.

They're like, what a heathen. And then someone else posted a screen shot of Lisa holding a fork like in her fist, like fist, and they're like, how does a woman who owns this many restaurants eat like this, you know? And so now I'm noticing this stuff because people keep pointing it out on Facebook. And the first thing I noticed is Vanderbomb holding her fork like she's about to stab somebody with it. Yeah. So funny. So petty. Now I'm going to see that every single time Lisa Vanderpump eats an iceberg salad. You will. A wedge. So to reach. What's about that

having another baby thing? Is that why you're wearing such a large shirt? Yeah. And he's like, oh, I've got two toddlers at home plus PK, who's pretty much like a toddler, plus three nannies, four housekeepers, five exercise gurus, six minions, seven partridges in the pear tree, eight things of gold, Daryl, you're going the wrong direction. You're supposed to count down to read down to what ends. Twelve guys. Thirty pilots I'm going to pitch a car. Fourteen broken clocks. Seventeen red moments. So dance your quest in the back, Babys. Would it be too soon to say never? Get it, Lisa! would it be too soon to say never? Get it Lisa! I'll never say never, but I will say never.

So um, so she was like, I could stab a buffalo with this fork, but instead I'll ask, so you had lunch with Carl. Surely you didn't have any formative moments together. You didn't bond in any certain sort of way that would perhaps be premature for your friendship. Surely not. Surely all you did was have a laugh. Am I correct? In the recent... Just simple laugh.

Relax, Elisa. She was very, very, very brave aura. Of seats, very brave aura. And she's like... Really, really, uh, whoops, he's very very very, and she's like really really very very to the very very very very very very so I'm sorry, Miss Jackson, but I am for real. Now she's like, um, so she's like, she's like, well I do feel bad about Kar that she has such petty sisters, but you know, she wants to share things with the sisters and she has no one to share with. It's almost as if Kar, herself is a broken bed!

Spawned in my hands! Didn't she say something like, well that doesn't surprise me because she doesn't have a mother. The thing that surprising is not that she doesn't set, but to be so open with you, when she doesn't be... It's strange that she has a connection with you when we all know that you're just an empty vessel. I mean, you're basically like one of those oxo container things you put your cereal in did she put her emotional cereal in you did she Kyle needs to be warmed up for years and years before she cries about a mother I have been a seat plug in that's never been unplugged. I've warmed that ass for years. What have you done? And to the moon we've become close believe it or not we've

boned it we have a condition we're a musical this was like when poor shabby can't have having a sex dungeon it's like bomb yeah it's like big drone she's like oh I'm surprised that she was so vulnerable if this is that truth Tell me What are your thoughts on broken birds? I love them out Get out of this restaurant and never come back This veterinarian only has a non-completeed clause on this block get out of West Hollywood Go Go to read go to read looks back like are you sure this is what you want is a go?

I don't want to see your face around But don't you want me to talk about Teddy all right sit down and that's a bird that's blue Teddy did you say go on? What happened with Teddy so thanks for back to Teddy and Alright sit down and that's a bird it's broke. Teddy did you say? Go on. What happened to Teddy? So thanks. So back to Teddy and Teddy's like, um, I'm irritated that she lied about 20 minutes because it was like 54 minutes,

which you could have seen if you were looking at the chiron below my ice water. And Camille is just like eating her food and being like, reverse, mua, reverse. Moa. She's like, I love petty sit. Tell me girl. Yeah, she's like, I've been playing nights for seven years now.

Let's get dirty. Hi, welcome back to season one Camille. I was like, Ding, ding, ding. Finally, we all win. Yes. So now, you know, Teddy is doing this thing where it's like, look, you know, like I texted her. So I'm waiting and waiting and finally at 436, I texted her like, hey, I'm worried about you, where are you?

And then it comes to dream being like, 436, it's awfully soon. I mean, I just left the house at 444 and she's already texted me at 436 saying, where are you? I'm concerned about you. She seemed pissed. I said, I'm on my way. I can be there in 10 minutes I'm like, no, we actually heard you and I was 15 to 20 minutes at best remember when you said I worry about traffic Madrava said that Centetes like first of all We're supposed to meet it for and second of all who would give a general hour to meet a director

Who would say that's meet between four and five? People have babysitters, okay? Yeah, and then Camille's just like laughing this all up. She's loving it and Dorit is it's going back and forth very quickly and Dorit's being like Honestly, at least I don't like like that she's Teddy's exaggerating times. You know, I don't mind if you say, Hey, I'm annoyed that you're late, but don't exaggerate the times. I'm like, you are literally exaggerating, reverse exaggerating. You were doing exactly what you did last year. Please keep doing it. Yes, she's like, don't make me up to be a really just. Just like oh my god as you don't understand time So Kyle's like well, she said six minutes late in Camilla goes six minutes

Was she drinking or The bottomless pit of bullshit you remind me of the morally corrupt favor. Oh, sorry She's like you know what I like to do when people upset me? I give them gifts. And Kyle's just like looking down at her pasta. She's like, I'm going to give her a gag. It's a it's a it's a gag. And then I'm going to give her a children's book that says, how to stop calling your friends cut fitnises.

And Vanderpump is not even taking your front to reach. She's like, well, a friend would give you a break, but some people have differences of how clocks work. You know, you do have to see that darling. And then the guy comes over. He's like, you want more wine? And there's a huge pause. And Vanderpump's looking at it like, are you a shorts?

Or are you a Gigi? Now But you know it can go to my head And she is like the other night when you called Kameela stupid Andrew's like oh that was a stupid joke that's all I call all my best friends see words I'm like mmm that to cameo. I was embarrassed. I was humiliated. And Dave.

Dave was there. Oh, no. Not in front of Dave. Yeah, Dave. And he said, where's Mauricio to finish my thought? Was Dave? Well, you know, are you talking about the Dave? I was talking about day from Wendy's,

right? Wendy's day and Squares. I mean, I'm not about him. Burgers. So upsetting. So Camille, Camille's mad. And she's like, I think that you read talks too much. And Kyle's like, whoa, whoa, listen, you don't make those accusations. In my family, we've dealt with that. You don't make those accusations. I'm like, yes, if someone's being wasted and calling you a C word, yes, it's totally fine to say that they drink too much. I'm sorry.

Yeah, Carl's like, you don't accuse someone of that. You're gonna say, come about it. So, you talk about it behind their backs and then wait about 20 years and finally just accused them of it in a limousine and see what they come back to you with. And PSI money are. So Carol's like, maybe it's her British thing and she's like, I don't care. She's British.

The C word. It's a nasty, nasty, horrible word. And girl goes, well, Vanderpump is British, but even she would care about being called the Seaward. And Camille is like, we're talking about Crane, right? Like, Fajah Crane. Jarebel word, Crane. How dare you suggest that Kyle.

She's like, what did I say now? What did I say now? So Vanderpump's like, if you said I was the Seaward, say I know you are but what is LALA But you know not everyone is so tough and reads like well, I don't have a problem with Camille Who's Camille? I don't even know is that the woman who's in significantly insecure without phrase a queen? Are we talking about tea I do love Camille chip darling that's Camimille When we talk about tea, I do love Camille, darling. That's Camimule. So Vanderpump's like, look, you've been red the right hand. I told you, red is back.

Vanderpump's like, look, from her side, Dave was there. And she's like, oh no, Dave was there, Lisa. I didn't even see him. I couldn't get past Camille's giant hair that's a stupid cut fitness. So go say Lisa, why must I keep putting my foot in my mouth? And Vanderpump's like, because you put everything else in there. Why? Get it? That was my version of calling you a seaweed because we're friends and it doesn't mean anything And meanwhile back at red oh Hi, hello ladies guess what I'm already back for my hosting gig of this show

I probably should have gotten before Kelly Ripa hi Hi, is it too late for me to drop a bomb on this show? No, guess what? Can no salt it someone Is it too late for me to drop a bomb on this show? No, guess what? Ken no salted someone Also classic Rina that is so her she's like hi everyone. Hi good to be here Someone so cheated. It's like whoa. Can we order? It's just like here's the work. I've got to get done everybody Okay, check please. I just had water. I'm not paying for this I've got to get done everybody. Okay, check, please. I just had water. I'm not paying for this. Well, she's the hardest working woman in show business, you know?

She's like, gets off a plane and she's like, oh, Kyle stirred the shit about Teddy and Doreet having a disagreement over who was late. Okay, let me show you how you realist her this shit. Can a salt that someone at a dog charity? Yes. And Kyle goes, oh, assaulted. And she goes, yeah, like, I mean, I don't know what happened. I guess like threw her up against the wall, or I don't know, beater with the baseball bat,

or I don't know, hard and assassin to poke her with little tiny knots. I don't know. The block didn't say, and Carl's like, Ken would never lay a hand on a woman ever. And the editors like her because they didn't cut to Ken grabbing y'all. Yo, on, Darm. When she's like, Oh, there you'll beat me, Ken.

Ah! Ha! I got off my arm in Hosen. Ugh. Ugh. So, so that was pretty much where it ended. Yeah. The bombshell cliffhanger that can may have assaulted someone and it's

in the news and Rena is talking about it. It's going to be a war. It's going to be so good. Yeah, it's going to be good. Everyone said to say that it was all listening. This week is a little bit different. You might have noticed that yesterday we had a married medicine recap. It's because we're doing van de pump rules in in tomorrow night, Thursday night. And Jersey, instead of doing Jersey this Thursday, we're doing that at our live show on Saturday night, so that'll be posted over the weekend. Yeah, you know, as long as you're, if you're a, hey, if you're subscribed to watch or crap and the episodes are just going to come rolling into your iPhone or whatever you're listening to, um, and, uh, honestly, just, just keep an eye on the episode descriptions. All the shows will be covered. Yes, everybody, we

sure love you. Talk to you next time. Bye, everyone. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.