Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Bridge to Nowhere

Episode Date: June 12, 2019

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills hit France to start a petty fight that makes zero sense. Enjoy! To hear this week's bonus episode "Chillin With Taylor Strecker" and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Charlotte and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors!

The Bay Area Betches! Betches! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Heron McNicholas! She don't miss no trickle-ists. Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang! Lisa Wallent.

Now that's what I call Wallentainment. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender! Hava Niggila Weber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. Jamie, she has no last name. Asli Savoni, she don't take nobeloni. You don't touch the Niggie Morgan letters. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. What you talking about Willis, it's son of Gillis. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the

bird. Just saying okay. Christy Wowardy Dowerry. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Give a homer with Jeffrey Boomer. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Mina Kuchikuchi. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony.

The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Lulu Simon. Soon, soon studio. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. We're all in with Julia Conlin. Yes we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Nancy, Cease and Desisto.

We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yale Braves As usual, it's me, Ronnie, Ronnie Carom You can also find me over at the Roseprix Bachelor at Podcast And I'm with Ben Mandelker, my little bestie and co-host Who is from the Real Houseware of the Kitchen Island Which is a cartoon on YouTube that you should be subscribed to and watching because it's hilarious

Hi, man. Well, thank you. Hi. How's it going good? How's everything going with you? I'm great. I'm really excited Because we just put on these two we just like announced two more things for crap ends In case you missed it we are are going to Charlotte. People have been saying like, when are you going to go to Charlotte? Well, we're going because we're going to be part of the Queen City Comedy Festival. So we're really, really excited about that. And then also, in case you missed it, we are going to be playing the Neptune in Seattle, Washington, and we're going back to Seattle. The Neptune apparently is like the bees' knees.

So two very exciting new dates add on to our constantly growing schedule, which also includes next month we're going to Baltimore, we're going to Cleveland, we're going to Pittsburgh, which is sold out, so thanks Pittsburgh. And then in September we're going to be going to now Charlotte and also Nashville. And then we also are going to be doing gigs in New York City. We got the second New York City show is sold out. We've got Indianapolis. We've got St. Louis.

Now we got Seattle. It's all really, really exciting and go to watchacrapins.com to get your tickets. Yeah, go get your shirts. We've got a torrentous shirt. We've got a least team LVP shirt for those of you who all. And we've got another shirt that says, Matini Medicine. Those are all on sale. We also re-released the Triximonical shirt and Cors for Southern Charm.

And just Triximonical because we love her and her band. So if you want those, just go over to cra crap and smurch.com or just find the calendar or the links and everything at watch at crap and that is that also we did a bonus Last week that was posted this week with Miss Taylor Strucker Yeah, love Taylor as much as we do. That's our bonus this week and we are doing video recaps and all that good stuff with crap And so I demand video so we've got tons of going on right now So just go check it out but today We're here with the real housewives of Beverly

That's a soundly Savannah pop makes when she walks up a staircase the heights who the thoughts This uh show wow so they today they got a france a lot's been happening my guess behind the scenes on the show just because it was reunion time Turns out Lisa Vanderpump did not show up to the reunion I don't like that. I think she should have shown up. I think she I don't know. I just feel like you can't you can't go Season after season and say things like the crowd is heavy-dawling Or through the woods and I come back leading the pack It can't just keep saying that stuff over and over again

And now you won't even show up to the reunion. I don't know that bothers me And I think because we all have like Questions and like for me. I'm on our side with all this bullshit So I feel like almost like my voice is not going to be represented at the reunion. So I'm upset, I'm upset, and I don't think that that's how you handle it. Well they did get Camille to go, because Camille was saying she wasn't going to go, because everyone else gets paid to go, but she wouldn't get paid to go. So I guess she ended up getting paid to go, and then they just racked on Camille the whole

time. I don't know how she didn't see that one coming But they went and they ripped apart Camille apparently she like walks off the stage and she was tweeting I Yeah, it was really like it was really it was really And they really say things and like I'm just trying to be with friends sometimes The girls are so mean and they really say things and like I'm just trying to be with friends sometimes I was very like Setting

Yeah, so they apparently ripped her anyone and someone said well, you know, I thought you guys had fun It's just that maybe though the girls had fun more Well, you know what? They probably ripped her apart because they didn't get a chance to in France because Camille obviously could not go to this on this vacation. And that's where we start this episode, which is in the women arriving in France at the airport, the music.

The producers are playing this music that sounds like we've just entered a small town in Zelda. You know, it's like, oh, we're in Kakariko Village right now. How lovely, you know. Yeah, I wrote French dopey music. It's like the... The hornians. Like, they're all idiots, you know? Yeah, but with the cordians.

Yeah. And then we get a scene of them just staring at luggage passing the violin. Like, Lugas carousel. And Lisa and I was like, that that was mine that was mine too how are you okay how are you I was like are we really watching them just get their luggage like just staring watching them stare at luggage is this what is this what it's come to pretty much I mean I I was taking notes I was taking notes on this like, wow. I'm really taking notes on people getting luggage.

So they get all their luggage and it's all being like put on to those like carts. And of course they have like an enormous amount of bags. And then Kyle turns the cat to Teddy who has like, she has like a little roller bag and like holding her carry on and Kyle goes why are we carrying luggage? Teddy goes they don't have enough room but I was like see there's the real Kyle by the way real Kyle just showed up right there for that one second why are we carrying luggage? Yeah who do these people think we are? Yeah so they get in the car and Teddy's like oh, it's all vineyards like I'm having Tate's of who I'm Teddy I'm Teddy I think I've said I'm Teddy here before Oh, I think I know what it is. I think John Blizzard implanted these memories into my brain at least Savannah pumps orders that must be it

And he's like, oh you just having a day's out because it's all the same It's just the same thing everything you pass. It's just like Italy. Yeah. Kyle's like, guys, look how pretty. Look, there's a castle up there. I'm like, get ready, Mauricio. Time to build Kyle a castle. That's what that means. I've just thought, how long are they going to take to talk about LVP? And Kyle immediately starts off the trip She's like six years ago. I was in Paris with some of my friends and it's weird at least it's not here I feel really bad, but I was kicked out of her house

She's not speaking to any of these women or me and it just breaks my heart I was like really you know it really is gonna break your fucking heart now that you finally got your way and got Lisa Vanderpump off this show now God I hope these rumors are true that they're bringing Kathy Hilton out of this show please oh yeah that's the other thing that we haven't talked about which is that Bruce Buzzy who's Andy Cohen's best friend took a photo of Andy and Kathy Hilton on and put it on Instagram and the caption was something along the lines of like Sign on the dotted line and get that diamond or something like that. Yeah, and so So maybe Kathy will come on. I hope Kathy comes on because man

You know like if there's anyone who's gonna put Kyle in her place is gonna be Kathy. Wow. Oh god It could be so good. I cannot wait. I'm actually excited. This is the most excited I've been for Beverly Hills in like three years. Yeah. This is a woman so petty that she like disinvited Kyle and Maristo from her daughter's wedding and then just begrudgingly allowed only Kyle to show up. I mean, that's the sort of pettiness that we need. And we know from the show that she's friends with Lisa and stayed friends with her after

Kyle wasn't speaking to her sister anymore because Because remember last year when Kyle was like, I'm not even talking to my sister and then Vanderprose, like, oh, I just saw her the other day, yeah, she's pissed. Whatever she said. So if that is true, God, good for you guys. But in the meantime, here we are. Yeah, it's probably not gonna be true.

And instead of getting like Kathy Hilton, we're just gonna wind up with like the mom who is on Mr. Belvedere, you know. So Kyle was saying, yeah, she's saying how weird it is that like Lisa's not there, etc. etc. And then, and obviously Camille and Denise are not there. So now the women are talking about the fires and the devastation and how crazy it is. And it's like not even contained and it's like know, it's just it's such a sad thing And I was like oh my gosh you guys look at the entrance to our villa I like how Erica when Rinna's like doing this sad thing about everybody's house being burned down and she's like

I wish I could go you know, I know I can't be there for him like literally But I just wish I could be there, you know and Erica goes oh yeah, just to be a support system sure I just wish I could say Well, five three word notes to all those people and say your house burned Love Erica sincerely Erica yeah So um so they arrive at this chateau chateau then too and uh, really Wow So they arrive at this chateau, chateau, then too. And Ritter's like, wow.

I wish I could own this baby, but even I can't own this one. Baby, it is big. It's like down to happy, but in France. Down to France, happy. Down to France, happy, get it. I put France in the middle down to happy. Time to France, happy, think about it. Think about it.

It works. It works. America's like, oh, look at the staff. Just standing out there. I've never felt so rich in my whole life. I'm just looking for the dick. I got to suck the pay for this. All right, let's get it on the wind staff. All right. Which one are you the oldest? Drop those trials. Get this done. So then we meet Pasha who's the local host and they're all meeting Pasha and I'm like what are the odds that Dorita's gonna Emerge from this trip with a French accent? You know like after she's around all these people she's like

Bonjour guys So yeah, so now they go on a house tour that takes up about 45 minutes of the episode every expansion uh South up yeah So, uh, yeah, so now they go on a house tour that takes up about 45 minutes of the episode Like oh my god, look at this room. Oh my god. That's room. Oh my god And Eric is like I feel like I'm in glue This shanty was built in 1612 How about I would make it pass through these dolls? I'm pretty sure

they're still some guests floating around here and by that I may ghost. I'm like shut up and then you hear go to your real America. I feel like there's still some spirits floating around. Oh wait that was my fault. Guess what? I thought it. All those ghosts are floating around and they're like I can't believe this is our legacy right now

It's like finally the ghost go back into hiding like that's how to exercise the ghosts They're like let's go on to a different shout-out shall we know the ghosts are so bored that they go back to purgatory I feel like I'm in clue, but the murderer didn't even bother coming around so we're just sitting around Fuck this I'm going towards the lie So Kyle they're all looking at the rooms and Teddy Teddy's room has like a bed that has like there's like an insect thing behind the bed It looks like it has like wallpaper or some sort of like finish or paint whatever and calls like oh I like that I like that what they've done there behind the bed. I was like, get out that wall at Mauricio, get it out.

Be a renovation. Mm, and then Teddy's like, let's do a wacky scene where we all come out on our little balconies and talk to each other out the windows. It was like, yeah, it didn't work. So then people are cooking and Kyle comes in and her rubs. I was like, hi, I just wanted you guys to know,

a big part of LA is on fire It's devastated two friends of ours. They had to evacuate. They might be dead. They lost everything So there's only five for dinner. Thank you They're just staring at her like you stupid America and we were invaded by the Nazis. I think you care about your forest fires So I by the way, I love the kitchen staff. They're all dressed in black. They look like they hate everyone. And I actually think that they've murdered a gardener and are about to serve it to the woman for dinner.

Like they just have that look at their home, so. Like they're up to some shit in that kitchen. Like, oh yes, well, we are being making you a ravioli of wonton, maybe gardener. I mean mean lobster. This will be a dacapupu ravioli with a toned lot of curry, tim curry. This is a vichy swaz with the new maid inside. I mean it is made with love. That is what I mean. He's made with love. That is what that mean.

Um, oh, Teddies on the, then we, everyone's getting ready. And so we see Teddy on the phone with her fucking feet on the table. I know. You trashy hookers. What was that all of that? What was wrong with you? What was that? I thought I saw that too.

Listen, I put my feet up on my coffee table. But if you're in a chateau, feet are on the ground, man. You are in Europe. You are not in South Carolina. Fucking garbage. Enjoy that gardener. Yeah, enjoy your gardener souffle tonight. So everybody meets up and tells each other how fabulous they look. Yeah, it's like, and Dorita's bragging bash. She's like, see, contrary to popular belief,

I don't need a glam squad when I go traveling. I'm like, no, it's more like Bravo said, if you want this villa, we are not paying to fly 12 gays across the world for you girls, okay? I know Erica and Doree are acting like they're making this huge sacrifice. They're flung to Dubai, but not France. So Kyle calls the Neeson Camille. They're all sitting around and so they're gonna check in on Denise and Camille because the fire is, which are by the way terrible, fucking terrible. So they call Denise and she's like, yes, 0% contained. It's terrible and we haven't seen our house and we got the dogs and we're gonna say scary Yeah, they're all gathered around FaceTime and like glamorous like they're all clamped up Nair cuz like yeah, don't let me say do these check in with this later. We'll have it lobster of a tip curry sauce

So then they call up Camille like Like, hey Camille! And Camille was like, well, that's bad. So this is actually sad because she said, she's like, well, the good news is the house is okay. Which I was like, I thought I read that it burned down, which we later find out it actually does. So it's actually almost even sadder that she had this moment of hope right here. And Evan, she talks about her evacuation and she's like you know I just went to the safe I grabbed the documents my

old DVDs of phrasier and and then you're wife painting I said let's get out let's get out grab that dog hair remover and then I realized Frature doesn't even live here anymore we got old habits in my right I found DD D.D.'s corpse, I was like, let's zoom that and get out of here. And then Hagrid carried us all out. Yeah. But it was really, I mean, it was actually when she was telling the story about how she had to back, it is, I found myself tensing up in even just those 10 seconds because it's just like what a terrible situation you have to find yourself in. So I actually, even though I mock, I empathize. And we're gonna say, no, we're going to go friends, we're suffering. I'm wearing this beautiful place. I mean, all we can do to help is tell each other, I pretty we look in our outfits

and have some lobster champagne. Am I right? I know. I was like, well, you girls look beautiful and I don't want to be a buzzkill. So, Yeah, you can feel free to say that I'm not being a buzzkill feel like okay, bye quick And when it goes We love you Camille. We love you Camille. I was like you fucking Rina I mean you were the one who was just raking you over the coals Seconds after the wedding about Camille being too face interior. We love you Camille I mean if you were a bit you, we love you Camille. I mean, if you were a bit here, we would have thrown you

to shreds, but you're not, so we love you. How are you? Give a new house bill so I can burn it down that's okay Camille. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know, Rinna's gonna just rip into her the second she gets to that reunion. Oh my God. So then Teddy, it's story time with Teddy.

And she's like, oh, my parents told me I story time with Teddy and she's like oh my parents told me I could name my sister and like well what's your name her pencil well it turned out to be justice but my nickname was butch butch and justice hi I'm Teddy butch Butch justice and the I'm Teddy kid. Yeah, and Kyle's like I was Kyle bitchers I was like was Yeah, like you know that you know that Kathy you know that Kathy and and Kim are still calling her that behind her back Well Kyle bitchers over there Bitchards over there I remember like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a story like, guys, when I was 13, I saw the family car. I just love seeing like a little fake British to read stealing a car. Yeah, this is like a little adventure. Yeah, she was like, obviously I wasn't supposed to be driving, but my friends had white chocolate

in the back seat and you don't even want to know what it looked like to my parents. Oh, it was white chocolate? White chocolate. Oh, no wonder I was to know what it looked like to my parents. Oh it was white chocolate white chocolate. Oh No wonder I was confused. I was like gross your parents thought you pooped in the back seat the story sucks No her parents thought that were just ins I'm glad Rin and didn't see it. She'd be like where people doing coke in the back of your stolen car Where people doing just coke the back of your stolen car people doing just cook and then so to read was like I was grounded for ten years America like hey I've got the dance with the bike every

but I'm drunk I'm drunk hey I'm drunk, I said, well drink all the ghosts to hear her. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. So Kyle orders a margarita because she's now gonna make margaritas her thing You know ceiling from Bethany and so she's like I'm just not a rosé person Like oh wow shots are really being fired this season really yeah fire yeah really It's like all these little passive aggressive things I'm like everywhere I little passive aggressive things. It's like everywhere I go in the world, I order a margarita.

Everyone knows that! This just in, Kyle Richards hated across the world. Did at least a van der pump use to live in Provence? She has a house in the south of France. Isn't that funny? I think she had a house. I don't know if she... I think she has a house, but even if she doesn't have house there was that once that one season they went to the South of France because her son or

Ken's son is there they have some connection with the South of France. Yeah Fucking figure yeah, there's got there's Kyle for you. All right. You talk cuz I'm looking this up Okay, so Erica's like a lot of handle a strong there's Kyle for you. Aren't you taught because I'm looking this up? Okay. So Erica's like, I don't handle a strong love love love. Oh, her, um, Rose. Vander from Rose is from Provence. So Kyle's going to Provence to say she doesn't like Rose. That is Pat.

I mean, the truth is, I, I just pathologically insecure and stupid Kyle. Where the fuck up, dude? I mean, I, I can't, I can't lie. that's the sort of past regression that I love on reality TV, so on a certain level I actually love and respect it. I just hate it because I think that Kyle's probably so satisfied with herself. Aaaaah! Yeah, frustrating.

So, that is pretty funny though, fucking Kyle, she's so obvious. Um, no, that's a thing. She is so obvious, you know, I think that's, I don't know whether I should be, like I feel like I'm gonna be mad about it this season and the next season I'm gonna like love Kyle because I'm gonna be like, you know what, I love how fucking obvious she is,

it's hilarious to me, but I always have to go through a season of hating someone before I can then like, suddenly pivot 180 degrees and love them, it's really weird. Kyle, my relationship of pure raging hatred for this woman is like what, eight years old. It's like the longest relationship I've had. You know, so in a way, you know, happy anniversary, bitch. I've never, I really have never hated her the way I have this season. I've always, I've always like begrudgingly liked her. Or I've actually liked liked her. I always feel like

Kyle has been essential, but this season she's really gotten under my skin and I like that because I feel like it's important to always have someone that you really dislike. So you always want to have someone that you love and someone you really dislike. And for me right now Kyle is my enemy on this show and I think that's a good thing. Yeah, so then um, let's see, uh, Eric is still talking about how drunk she is. And then for him is like, you know what ladies I'm gonna say one thing and Carl's like get her nice. She's like, alright, let's do this It's like I had such a good time being in character as Errik is you ain't that mad on Halloween one of my best roles

And then we see the clips again because like there's zero going on in this episode. So Teddy's like, um, when that happened, I said, what is happening? And Rinne goes, well, obviously you don't know me clearly, baby! And she's like, well, I know that it wasn't the right time or place, but uh, it broke the ice from me and Kim, and there was a big fat elephant in the room for a couple of years and we did it. And Doriko is actually a bunny and everyone's like, YAAAAA! Meanwhile Kyle is giving her notes.

Kyle is like, well, as a former actress who was on a failed sitcom about a made who's actually a ghost from 1985 called Down to Earth or something like that. I just have to say, you know, like you were in character but like, Erica doesn't actually act that way. So when you gave the finger, it didn't really make sense and just like no one listens or cares. Yeah, because we're in this, like, surely she's not going to come for me right when we just totally took down Vatterpump together.

Like, surely she's not going to come after me, right? Yeah. And they just cut to Erica and she is so bored with these women. She is so fucking bored being there. Well, she's grappling as to whether or not she should finish her tomato juice with vodka in it. Whoa, wow. Blow this. So they get some food and they're like, wow, I love this, Chef.

It's Luxury to the end degree. I think this is when I texted you like I can't. I'm not sure if you're too bad at figuring it. So Kyle's like, I want to give it to you. I think you, I think all of you women are fucking amazing women, although some of you as quote unquote actors maybe need to work on their maybe work on their material anyway I think that sometimes we can be back to crazy and as we saw today so many things can turn to second and we're really lucky and I'm just like really happy and really grateful and please don't

call me Kyle Richards okay that was pretty much information. Also, I'd like to point out that the dessert has 23 carrot gold on top. 23 carrots, I'm rich! They're like, this is a sorbet. What's sorbet is? Oh, this is gardener blood sorbet. I mean strawberry sorbet. We call these the bichutes. Somewhere.

Oh, so Eric is like, oh, these women, the five of those here. We've got through some stuff on these trips. And then we get like a montage of trips. Yeah. And Eric is like, but this goal just places magical. Oh, this shit is out of store. Come ride. You know that one where the prince comes in, puts his feet on the table, and starts cursing a lot and gets drunk off one drink? YAY! It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Oh. So, now it's the next morning, it's 5am, and Dredes goes,

I'm just like, I feel sick to my stomach. So, I was already getting ready to lab. I figured she had like, seen a croissant in the middle of the night or something that have an axe, but it was actually really sad because now we find out that Camille's house actually does burn down. She, Doreet had seen the video on either Instagram or wherever of Camille's house on fire. So they're all very, very sad rightfully so.

Yeah. So then it's a quiet morning because it's depressing As how I can't believe they even took this trip, you know, I guess it would have been hard to rebook the Rebook the trip. Yeah, I'm production schedules, etc. Yeah So it's a really quiet morning. You said he's like accountability accountability accountability working out and Then Eric is holding a teacup to her head, not really sure why. Yeah. If I'm the only person wildly hungry, I don't know if I bet you this, but I got

boo. Yeah. So basically, Erica and Rinne and Dorita just like chatting at the breakfast table and Teddy enters in. She's like, hi guys, I'm Teddy. They're like, okay, she's like, my coach's house just burned down to like, oh, well, thanks for bringing us down even further, Teddy.

Thanks. Thanks. Yeah. And Eric was like, all right, what's the status? And you know, they talk more about fires, okay. So then they decide they're going to go to the French market. Oh, yeah, I love this because, because Kyle cows, you know, they're talking about the fires.

There's like fires fires fires fires and cows like is there a French market we can go to? Yeah, so they're talking about everybody's house bird down and Rinna's like come here went from the happiest day ever to your house bird down and the lady comes in and she goes, how about you? I was like, can I ask you a question? Is there a French market? And you guys are like, can I ask you a question? Is there a French market? And do they have hats?

So Pasha's like, we, Bonjour, well, you know, there's a, you know, we have a market, they have fish and meats and vegetables, et cetera. So you could go there and then afterwards, the famous Avignon Bridge, of course, and they all go, ooh, I'm like, none of you guys know what the Avignon Bridge is. Stop that, stop that.

They all are just like acting as if they've had a boner for the Avignon Bridge for the past nine months. Like finally, it's Avignon Bridge Day. Mm-hmm. And then Kyle's like, oh my God, a bee! So we get to watch Kyle be terrified of something. I mean, this is just hitting all the right notes, this episode.

I actually loved that moment because Kyle was in her room and she hears what she thinks is a bee and she just Spins around full Joan Crawford her face is like She's actually like she looks like she's actually angry at someone on production at that moment like you could see again This was like evil Kyle and she's like is that a bee? She just then just like dark towards what she thinks is a bee with this just this angry face. And like now if that were the Kyle Richards that I could see every week, she would be like a top three housewife for me.

Like I love that angry-ass Kyle Richards. It's my favorite. I fuzz trout in my mind. So all I really see is like a fuzz out. You know like when someone doesn't sign a release to come on camera That's all I see when Kyle comes on now my brain can't take it real house of New York So they go around the city and they're like cute cute wow pretty whoa you are beautiful you're pretty you're beautiful You're going to die

Um, and then they go they go to the market and they're looking at cheese. And then it goes, Look at this cheese! And Teddy goes, I've never seen cheese that color. It's a white cheese. Let me guess, it was white or perhaps orange. Yeah, so like, why isn't this cut into slices and individually wrapped? This isn't cheese. I think that, I think this sweet spot that we've discovered for these women is that they are the funniest when they have to do things very simple like shop. Like put them in the supermarket, put them in a French market, wherever.

Meanwhile, Kyle, it's like she just finds the worst hats. It's like Kyle, step away from the fedora. Please step away from the hats. Just just like one hat after another. Each one is just getting worse and worse and worse. And then she ultimately the one that she chooses is the worst one of all. It's like a train conductor hat or something. It's like a sailor hat. It's so close. And she posted a beret. It's not a beret. It's not a beret at all. It's just like a floppy hat with a little brim on it. I was like, oh, bro.

And then you know, it's going to be a food issue, a show talking about food issues that are someone else's, because Rin is like, I'm just not ready for cheese now. I don't want cheese. I don't want it. Get it away. She's getting all mad about the cheese. But then finally, Erica makes her eat some.

I told you it was good. You wouldn't take it. It's just, but I did did it just shut up. Yeah So they all settle down on a cafe and they start ordering which is hilarious because first Erica orders a crock Monsieur but he goes I love a crock Montserr Please Crock Montserr So then and then to read she tries to order a salad and she tries to say it sort of like with a French accent

But I think it's like her Israeli accent coming out because she's like Do you have the Salad God this woman. It's like cranes So then Rena talks about her kids eating disorder and We start eating disorder conversation again. Yeah. Rina, Rina is talking about how, you know, Amelia's becoming an activist for it, which is really great. And that they, they went and they saw a doctor. And the doctor

believed that you're actually born with anorexia, which, I mean, I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but seemed a little suspect to me. Yeah, I'm sick of talking about eating disorders, personally. Well, guess what? Kyle had... Well, we do have to mention that. Kyle then talks about how she had an ad and a recceo when she was younger and that she would... like, she got to a point where all she would eat was warmed up VH juice. And they're like, well, you should tell your daughters and she was Kyle was saying how she was always scared to talk about it with her daughters because she didn't

want to give them any body image issues. So I was like, pretty surprised that actually producers did not show a full montage of 10 years of copying. Like, no, what's my ass looking in this? What about my sleeves and I was like car oh yeah yeah I'm I'm scrolling through notes over eating disorder stuff this is a long scene yeah it was a long scene yeah and Eric is like well I never had that all right I've always had an ass I was a stick with the big ass all right now I'm the heaviest ever I'm walking the night. I don't give a fuck about it Alright, and then she tells us she says well it's comfortable to share this stuff because it doesn't feel like it Gonna receive a chair band in nowhere. It's nice cuz Lisa Madapub's not here. Yeah, it's also extremely boring

I just like the way that Erica was like it seemed like she was trying to be like cryptic You know, she's like well you know there's no one to judge you, no one to make you feel silly and no one to use this against you. I'm talking about Lisa Vanderbomb. Talk about Lisa. In case you couldn't tell. Yeah, you know, back in front of some was aiding the soldiers. The same thing as saying they didn't like the three word note you said about the brother

died. Totally the same thing as saying they didn't like the three word note you said about to the brother died totally the same fun it's like you have bitches need to get over it get over yourself so ready with this my god it's like you want her off but then you can't talk about anything else when did least of antirpome ever do anything like that mock someone for their fucking eating disorder can be a break? Well, you know, it's probably, it's probably what could happen. So, so now they finally go to the afloj bridge, which goes nowhere, which is really a great metaphor, great great

metaphor. And then, and Erica just starts to wax. The title of this episode rich to nowhere So I reckon starts waxing about the privilege of being in Europe and everything and how you know wonderful it is Etc. I'm like we go back to baggage claim that I was actually kidding. That was actually a pretty good scene in retrospect Could you guys make some kind of an effort for this and doing goes really it really makes you feel as you're walking around here. Like you're really in Europe. Yeah, in Europe, DeRri. I'm pretty sure we're in Connecticut actually. So then we go over to home.

They're all getting ready and talking to their families on the phone and stuff. And let's see. Kyle and Teddy practice walking sexy down the stairs. Yeah. And Rina is like, you know what? Drunk Quinn is coming for a spin tonight. That's it. Yeah, I think I realized that, you know, I love doing a compare and contrast with this show in New York because New York works so well and this show has sort of fallen into a rut. And, you know, on New York, I don't think that we would ever sit

through an extended sequence of watching the women like debut their looks for the evening, you know? It's like, I'm wearing this. Oh, you look amazing. Here I am. Whoa, I love that. It's like a little mini fashion show. And I actually feel like this is not the cast fault.

I think this is actually production. That production thinks that I think the production things that we tune in for Beverly Hills because of the glamour and the fashion and like no, we don't tune in for that. We don't and the fact that like we actually sit through a lot of this stuff more than I think we even realize is like it just shows one of the tonal deficiencies that this show has right now. Um, right now it's like, well, this group loves to look fabulous. Well, except for Denise, she's like, you're making me raise my game up. I don't want to.

God, I love her. They're terrible fashion sense. Um, yeah. So now they all, now that they've all, you know, jerked each other off over what they're wearing. Um, they now decide to go off to dinner and, uh, Lisa Renyes. She's like, ah, ah, ah,

drunk renters here, drunk renters here, hi, kick. Hi, kick, hi, kick, how are you? Hi, kick, how are you? You know, the kick of me, it lags up and just got here. You're about to be a me last night when I got I got drunk I fell down but I got up again ain't nothing gonna keep me down I drink a son of drink I drink a whiskey drink I drink an American drink I drink a man I drink with vodka in it

Well, you just gave her way too much credit So they sit down they sit down next to them in an Eric because we'd like to apologize in advance for our presence. You know what? I appreciate her saying that. I appreciate that because I felt like that was deserved. So they sit down at like an enormous Game of Thrones fire. Like remember that episode of Game of Thrones this season where they sat by a fire for 45 minutes and talked about things. Yeah. It's like they're like, well, let's go to where that fire was and do a scene for the ladies. Yeah.

So they're all talking about how Jagger, their husbands, and how they kind of marry guys that look just like their dads or whatever. And it's like, we always go after our dads. And Eric is like, well, then I'd have to find the hottest Latin the rail, because I'm a Latin, all right, I'm Latin next, babe, then I'd have to find the hottest Latin around because I'm a Latin, all right? I'm Latinx, babe.

I'm quarter. Yeah. Which was surprising to me, by the way, I had no idea. Yeah. And then also, Teddy orders a skinny margarita. Everyone's like, Teddy, you can't order a skinny margarita in France.

You can't do that. This is a restaurant is prepared for Americans, because they also order burgers. Oh, I know. And Teddy's like, so I've a really good story Cruise had some friends over and he's like no one's hit there. That's for Jagger. Hi, I'm Teddy Like great great Do you want a table to put your foot on?

I know is the table reserved for Jagger or for your So Kyle is you know here to stir some shit or here to let Teddy start starting some shit for her. So she's like, so last night you said you dressed like Erica Jane, Rina and Rina's like, yeah, I commit to characters. And the character, it helped me face your sister. I couldn't face her as Lisa Rina. I couldn't face him. I'd like to thank the Academy for this role of a lifetime. I couldn't have done it without you. It was Harry Hamlin.

You're great. Your support and me finding this character was invaluable. Thank you everyone. Thank you. I will always remember this award. Thank you. Thank you very much. He's kind of like, why don't you just take responsibility

for your own words? What happened to own it? And- Because Kyle is in a tizzy like a delayed tizzy over this and I feel like basically she tried To get a reaction the night before when she broached the subject and it didn't happen So she's like, okay, I'm gonna try again and She's like it was just really weird. It was weird, but you did you know like I kind of feel like you were using Ericka's character to call Kim a cut fitness. And she goes, we'll buy the instinct we as actors, we like to act, but I will say I'm grateful because there was an elephant in that room, I said, elephant, how are you?

How are you? Well Kyle, as you are also an actor maybe not a working actor But someone who once appeared in the background of ER once or twice 20 years ago I am in that weird made show on ABC and then you know your greatest role of all Begin your sister shadow You know you understand and Tell me it's like well the fact that you did it is Erica. We were like, huh?

And Carol's like, yeah, it was inappropriate. And, you know, like, especially like our friend, Erica Jane, who's one person, no matter what you say, you know, Erica Gerardi, Erica, Erica Jane, I mean, she's one person, no matter what you say. I'm like, okay, that's bitchy. And you're like, Erica didn't like rip out your throat for that one.

Yeah. So she would never talk like that I've never seen her act like that and run as like but it's my interpretation of it Are all of these just the same? No It's patty the poem Madonna. No, I'm being acting Kyle. Maybe they didn't teach you that on the last one the prairie. I don't know I mean have you ever even heard of Victor Victoria? I mean, what are you two with? Let me watch that movie because I thought I was just called Victoria. And Teddy's like, well, if you were doing that interpretation of me, my feelings would have been heard.

Oh, yeah. Her feelings weren't heard. And I know her feelings weren't hurting. Erica goes, who cares? So Kyle's like, ah, this isn't working, but we're trying so hard. I mean, God They are really trying for this Were you not also shocked that she talked like that because it was not a portrayal of who you are Where's your man? Where's you man? Okay, since the character it was a portfolio, but it's hot enough

You heard but'm a costume now. Oh, okay. I'm actually just a wild hang of clothes on it, right now. Just talking to you. Okay, well, we understand that, but we also need to make it clear that hiding behind a character was confusing. And we're gonna say, what's your problem? What's your issue?

If there's an issue, get it out right now, baby! Um, yeah, by the way, but just to pause this for a moment, here's the thing, what they're what Kyle and Teddy are saying is not necessarily wrong, you know? Rina was clearly like using the character to call a candy seward. I also believe that basically it tumbled out of Rina's mouth. I feel like Rina was tumbled out of Rina's mouth. I feel like Rina was so kind of guarded. It's like the joke got away from her and then she's like, ooh, I went too hard, et cetera.

But what they should, what Kyle and Teddy should've just done is like, oh my god, Rina, what you call their seward? That was awkward. Like, you know, like, cause that's all, that's all it was, it's just awkward. But they're making it. Well, some of their fucking business.

But they're making it the whole thing. But they're making it the whole thing. But they're making it the whole thing. But they're making it the whole whole thing. At least Kyle has like a little time to it. Well, but Teddy, is any of your fucking business? It's another fight that you're trying to get into that you have no fucking say in. You're repeating yourself over and over again. Kyle's repeating yourself over. They're like the worst friends ever.

Right. Or, or also Kyle could have said, like listen, I know that you were an character or whatever, but you still called my sister the C word and I really didn't appreciate that because she is my sister at the end of the day. And that kind of is like all she really needed to say and what probably she should have said too. Ugh, so stupid. But instead they're going through this like, the secuidist like path of like, how's my emotions in trying to get Eric all mad? And Rinna's pissed and she's like, well, I don't know what she's doing right now. It's

not her business. And she's like, let's just own our own issues. Okay. And Teddy's like, well, I still like you. I just want you to like, well, I don't care if you like me or not. Okay. That sums me out. Hi, I'm Butch. Don't mess with me or my sister pencil.

Okay. This is what I'm saying. erase the hate. And we're just like, well, I hope you like me, Ben. She goes, well, I mean, like, if you don't care that I like you, then where are we hanging out? You know, I care if you like me. She says, I'm man, I don't care if you like me

as a character is what I meant. That was Eric, it was residual, Eric and Jane coming out. Also, I'm blowing up this building. Oh, I'm sorry, that was residual. Mabrow's place coming out. Oh my God, You're now entering the Twilight Zone. Sorry, I just didn't have the character of the

Twilight Zone guy. I can't help it. I'm an actor. And so Doreet calls it. She's like, I don't know why Kyle and Teddy are trying to sit here and beat Erica to say something. But obviously, that's what they're doing. And you know, Teddy more often than not is Kyle's henchwoman. And that's what they're doing. And, you know, Teddy more often than not is Kyle's henchwoman. And that's what's going on here. Kyle's been saying it,

and so now Teddy's gonna come for everybody for Kyle, and it's pathetic. Yeah, I actually got really excited when Doreet said that, because I felt like I saw a potential of Doreet rising up, like Doreet being the ascendant one, and now that Vanderbump is out of the way to Reats Path is now clear for her to come up to the top and go after Kyle and Teddy which I thought was actually

really exhilarating. Yeah, so Teddy is like well, I mean if you're dressing up as me I was I was dressing up as your party I was dressing up as Erica James and I was like that's the same thing. Yeah it's the same thing you're making a choice. I was like oh my god why are we still talking. Yeah Erica said she wasn't offended so stop just just say okay well I'm glad Erica's not offended big I thought I was super awkward and you know you made me feel awkward you know I just like he's going and going and going and going and Erica's like no matter how it came about you came to a resolution

That's great and how's it but it wasn't uncomfortable But then Ridd is also sort of like hilariously bullshit in this too because she's like I'm not gonna blame Erica Jean I'm gonna honor Erica Jean baby Because Erica Jean allowed me to break the ice so I can have a conversation with your sister Kill the elephant Conversation I don't know, I can chain. How are you? I'm Teddy's like, put Erica Jane and she's like, stop. It's a performance. Stop trying to bake me into this conversation.

And now Erica's pissed and Teddy's like, um, okay. And she's like, when things get uncomfortable, I want to talk about it and Erica sets it down. Now it's gotten uncomfortable. You made it uncomfortable. Shut up. You bet. Because on top of that, this is also really old. Like, it's a few weeks old. Old and it's boring and so fucking petty.

Don't you have somebody to be mad at for being late for a season? Jesus fucking cries. Get rid of her. Clear her. So Kyle's like, so now Kyle is now. Kyle is, her thing is falling apart. so she's resorting to her favorite technique Which is or tactic which is to sort of do like sad like little girl wine voice like but everyone was really uncomfortable You know, I'm gonna say well then why didn't anyone say anything?

So Teddy's like I just need some clarity on Erica Jane and Erica go stop I just need some clarity on Erica Jane and Erica go stop It was performance persona if you guys are trying to beat me this conversation just stop Okay, but just explain it to me. I'm not being an idiot. I didn't say I'm being an idiot. Stop calling me an idiot Yeah, so Erica's furious now She's just sitting there with this half closed eyes that are like in a halfway roll back to the back of her head still on over now she's just sitting there with this half closed eyes that are like in a halfway rollback into the back of her head. Still long over. Yeah she's like they were about to eat and Kyle's like but I just want you to understand Erica we're not coming after you she's like I don't care you know I don't fucking care and Teddy's like I wasn't coming after you I was sympathizing and saying that I don't think you're the person who says fuck you and

uses your middle finger. It's fine! Well it doesn't seem like it's fine. Like, now you're upset because we brought it up and you didn't like it. So you didn't find it? It wasn't weird. It wasn't weird. It wasn't weird. It wasn't weird.

It wasn't weird. And now Erica is turning on them too. She's like, oh my god. Tell you, Kyle, I'm so relentless about shouldn't you be offended? Shouldn't you be offended? Shouldn't you be offended? Ugh. So, so now in case you haven't been able to follow this, they were trying to get Erica upset at Rina because Rina did a bad impersonation of Erica.

And Erica wasn't upset. And now Erica is getting annoyed at them because they're trying to do this. And now they're upset that Erica won't admit that she's annoyed at them. So now there's like some shit with air like they have created Stimp manufactured and it's so stupid. It's like this. I was actually enjoying it. I was enjoying this but it was so silly. It's so typical like here. We are another year now last year was a fight about what time and then this year is now the rest of the season is gonna Be a fight about I don't even know what it's, I couldn't even explain it to somebody. So now Cos, we weren't coming at you and Teddy's like, I was sympathizing and saying, you're not the sort of person that says,

F you and therefore you should be offended, be offended, be offended. I am Teddy. Yeah. So Eric is like, Eric is like, yeah no, it's fine, it's totally fine. Cos like, no, but, no, it's it's fine. It's it's totally fine I was like no, but you don't seem like it's fine Like okay now your upset at us because we brought it up It doesn't know we met at all and now you're upset at us

So now she's gonna try to play the victim of Erick it's like it's like that thing when someone says are you mad at me? No, are you mad at me? No? Are you mad? Okay, now I'm getting mad. Why are you mad? Oh now? I feel like you're at me now. It's like you made me mad at you just by asking that I'm mad at you, you know Yeah That brings us to the end so go oh wait, is this the end? Well, it just it just basically ends with Kyle saying well I don't believe Erica wasn't a little bit offended. I mean I would be offended if someone redresses me and use that as an excuse to be rude to someone. So Kyle is now gonna go on a thing about that Erica is not being upfront with her emotions, which is gonna turn to a thing like, I just feel like I can't communicate with you because like I'm trying to be let in and

I just feel like you know let me in, which is gonna be a whole thing as gonna turn into a giant stupid bullshit, which I personally enjoy a big old petty fight. So I was gonna get with it. Yeah, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one, because I was like, oh Jesus, I can't with this fucking show. How many more are there? Make it stop! 45 more episodes.

It's 45 more episodes. It's hilarious, flat. If you don't fix it, you're gonna destroy your wheel. Hey. Yeah. Well that brings us to the end everybody. To grab some live show tickets or crap and on demand videos or any of that good stuff, I'm just jump over to watch what crap and stuff and we will be back to

Baldurall with some real housewives of New York City and we'll also be live streaming that on crap and on demand. So go check that out over on patreon bye everyone later Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. and add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself

by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.