Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Don't Mess With Textses

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

Doggygate reaches new heights on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" as Lisa confronts Dorit and Kyle with "textses" from Teddi and John Blizzard. It's the type of pettiness we both loathe and... live for. Whose side are you on? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:33 Ashley Savoni? She don't take no baloney! Aaron McNickalus! She don't miss no trickleus! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Kelly Barlow! When she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg!
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Starting point is 00:01:14 And... Mina kuchi kuchi kuchi. Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap in The crap in The crap in The crap in
Starting point is 00:01:33 The crap in Watch what crap in Kids what happens when there's so much that crap in The crap in Kids what happens when there podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, cartoon that's available on YouTube. New episode is up right now, so go check that out please and subscribe.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I want subscribers. I want them. And joining me is the wonderful lovable Ronnie Karam. Hi. From Rose Fricks Bachelors Podcast, which is just wrapping up. It's latest season. What's going on? Sir. Yeah. And the two more, which is just wrapping up its latest season. What's going on, sir? Yeah, the two more or we just wrapped up everybody. So thanks wrapped up our final two. Yeah, no, no, we didn't.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Is there really no, yeah, we didn't. There were union or like no, we wrapped up our final rows, whatever we did it. We did after the final rows, it's done. I'm obviously leapy after finishing it. What a week. What a week. We're still here at South by Southwest. It's bonkers bonkers what a bonkers dragging our asses around here like confused drunk Potato sex with joy. Yeah And some weird office chair in my hotel room. Oh my goodness. There's a lot
Starting point is 00:03:02 So yeah, we are still in our janky hotel room, somehow surviving. Barely. I'm staring at Ronnie right now and I'm also staring at the strange grocery rack that's in the corner of his hotel room. I'm staring at you in some weird clopping on the wall. So they have their photos on the wall, their decor, and they mounted them by putting that double-sided tape on the wall. But they didn't need it.
Starting point is 00:03:29 But the double-sided tape is fully sticking out from below the frame. It's seen better days. But you know, let's concentrate on the important things, like real housewives of Beverly Hills. Yeah. That's why we are here to talk real housewives of Beverly Hills. Before dive into that we are going to Cincinnati in just a few days like this has been a monster week for us We had star with DC then set by South West going to Cincinnati We have two shows on Saturday the late show is sold out. We're talking real house was of New York at that show
Starting point is 00:03:59 The early show still has tickets. We're gonna talk some more house. We get show it's the last tickets we're gonna talk summer house we get sure okay and the and and and and
Starting point is 00:04:09 and and and and and and and and
Starting point is 00:04:17 and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and show is like awful. It's like, yeah, that's the point. Yeah, it's gonna be so fun. We are going to tear it apart as usual.
Starting point is 00:04:26 But enough about that. Enough about our shameless girl. Thank you. Okay, let's dive into real house, what, real, I'm not a real house, where is it? Real housewives of Beverly manipulation text messages. Well, how could you hurt me like that? Real housewives of out my heart.
Starting point is 00:04:45 This is not a very promising open to an episode I know you guys are trying to make me believe that Kyle deserves the Center fucking diamond But no she doesn't how dare you and do I really need to see okay? If this was real housewives of kitchen island Kyle would be the sink strainer, okay? She would be the one that just lays there and like collects all the crap and just annoys you forever And you're like, why is this here? I guess it needs to be here. Yeah But and everyone then you have to like pick it up and like manually like wipe your finger through it to get the stuff Like grateful for it because you need a sink strainer, but at the same time like who actually likes it like fuck that
Starting point is 00:05:26 And you all and you're kind of like you know if I have a disposal, do I really need this also? Well, I don't have a disposal and you just made me go into like Beverly Hills dreams of like having a disposal Like what do I have to do am I have to get a garbage disposal? Okay? How do I move up is it not podcasting? Do I need a different? Do I need to go to school? Is it too late? I think the disposal is Erica Jane only because she'd be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, I don't get up. I don't give a fuck. You drop something down to me. So what? It's gone now. More unkey than her warm up. You have to keep the water going because it's so thirsty that if there's not water running
Starting point is 00:06:06 through it, it'll dry out and start chunking out metal spoons. So that was already better than this first scene. You're welcome, everybody. Every four years, every four years America does a few things. We gather around to watch the Olympics, we elect a new president, and it seems like we send another Kyle daughter off to college. Like every four years, I feel like she has way more kids than we even realized. She has more babies than a hamster.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Yeah, how many kids have to go to college? How many times do we have to watch? You know I, because there was also, because there was Kim sending kids off to college too. It's just like a non-stop stream of Kyle sending girls to college and I don't believe in hating children Which I know that sounds crazy because of course I do But just for the sake of conversation. Let's say I don't believe in hating children. I think it's unfair And I don't hate Sophia, but I'm confused. I feel like Sophia's another Katie from VanderPump rules. I'm getting strong Katie vibes. I'm not even gonna, you know what,
Starting point is 00:07:09 she's still a minor, so I'm just gonna like you. So you'll only attack babies who are completely in sync. Little children, I'm not gonna attack a teenager who's fragile. Okay, I'm just saying Katie vibes. I mean, I know that that's why I think it's like evident that she is picked as is even Kyle Recognizes herself. I think that she has picked up a lot of her mom's universities So it's 5.30 in the morning and Kyle is they're all packing because they're gonna send Sophia off to George Washington University in Washington where we just were in was it's foggy bottom
Starting point is 00:07:44 George Washington University in Washington where we just were in was it's foggy bottom Foggy bottom I think is which or my cousin Lauren who's at our show went there. Anyway, so Sophia's like mom Can you help me pack my vanity mirror? I can't do it. I was like, okay good luck in college I know and cry. I was like We're packing this vanity mirror. You're not just ordering another oh no She just why don't you just order one on Amazon? We can have it shipped to your place and she's like no I bought this one specifically to go to college with me mom Convenient narrative Amazon
Starting point is 00:08:18 So yeah, they're all they're all packing Alexia's already done with college. It's a shock Yeah, I feel like it was just another year ago that she went off to college. But now she's mad that these kids, I don't think that I'm mad at Sophia necessarily. I'm just mad that they're getting older because that means I'm getting older. And I'm not older, I'm young.
Starting point is 00:08:35 I'm very young and fresh. Ash Ben. Yeah, super. And I just, I, time on Real House House is always weird because we always watch everything about like nine months to a year after it after it actually happens And then just like I don't know I get confused like how can Carl get five new faces and send eight hamsters off to college and I can't lose one pound No, how can the world change that fast for everybody else?
Starting point is 00:08:58 Exactly so anyways, so Alexia there It's like five through the morning and Alexia's basically walking around the house drunk because she just got home from Shelby's birthday where they all just got like, trash. Shelby. So yeah, it's like, it hurts, I can say that. And kind of like, yeah, time to get a job. Why would your kids ever work? I would never fucking work, okay.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I mean, I don't even know Mauricio and I feel like he should support me because I watch him on TV. That's how rich they are. Well, I mean, she's gonna work at the agency probably, right? She could probably work in HR and have like a fake job at an HR. Like she'll be the one that's like,
Starting point is 00:09:34 oh, Alex, he's gonna be in charge of human personnel development and like she's just gonna go from place to place and like she's just, she's gonna show people how to use social media. Yeah, she's gonna like check in with people. Yeah, she'll be like, I don't know about your Twitter feed. So then, yes, now everyone, you know it's sad, so if you're like crying, it's hard going off. Whatever, just hugging the dogs and cause like I don't I don't like change like which is why you just like move away from your house just because the pool was shaped like a beam. And why you're about to move again. I can't remember last season was I mad about the pool shape or was I supporting the pool shape.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I think you were mad at the pool shape. I thought I was mad that she was mad at the pool shape. Well we keep changing our minds what we're mad about because we can't remember what we're mad about. This season, I'm gonna support the pool shape. I think, because she was like matched, she didn't like that her pool shape, like a bean, and she wants like a square pool, I think. Yeah, you got furious.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah, you got furious. A bean is like a fairly standard pool shape. No, but I understand pool anger. Like, the pool we have here at the hotel, that thoughts the color of pool I hate. That has like the white bottom. I hate that it's so ugly. I like a dark bottom of a pool I'm scared to look at the pool here and like pool shapes You know if Kyle doesn't like you always try to push your friends away like these Savannah pump huh? Yeah, well, she likes to change because this this is good change. She's standing with the center diamond now sucker
Starting point is 00:11:03 That's right. She like that's a per change So Rin and Denise guess what you're doing go into the canyon Here's my theory. They don't let Lisa Rinna film anywhere anymore So break a glass or she'll like start putting past me does on buzz boys or whatever I think the producers are really hoping she'll get bit by a rattlesnake. She's like, she's like, Denise! Hi Denise! Hi Denise! Hi Denise! Oh my god Denise! Hi! Hi! I'm wearing a card chain. It's so warm! I didn't even know where we are! How have I been to this? Kandion! Oh my god! At least at least to rem it you're too excited to go speedwalk Denise is like you know what I love Erica and you know when I was like yes, and I love LVP to and it's just like
Starting point is 00:11:56 You guys had a nice talk didn't you yeah, Renn is like how can I make this storyline about Denise's husband cheating on her immediately? So, so they're talking about Aaron and stuff and Denise is like, well, Aaron's divorce is final, so we're gonna get married. But what's funny is that for some reason I wrote out in my note, I go, Aaron's divorce is final, so Denise and Aaron are gonna get divorced. She just liked that they're already skipping. Yeah, that's like,'s like the evolution of a relationship in Los Angeles. It's just how we roll. It's dark.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Well, I'm freshly divorced. I thought I'd get divorced again. Yeah, so let's just get divorced so we can like get that out of the way. Let's get the pain out of the way first. Yeah, so they're gonna get married. And Rin is like, You're getting married. And Rina's like, you're getting married. You know that that's Rina like trying to last your her baited breath. You know there was probably like a
Starting point is 00:12:57 rattlesnake that was about to fire, but it was like a Rina rattlesnake. I was like, it was like, that rattlesnake you'd always know it's coming not only because it's rattled, but because it would be going, Hi, how are you? How are you? How are you? It doesn't bite you. It just throws a duster on you. I'm, I'm Cubie's snake. Are you getting me right now? invite you to just throw the duster on you. On, on QB Snake. Are you kidding me right now? I said, Ms. Ryan, I are such good friends. I love a little snake with a Rina hair. A pointy Rina hair.
Starting point is 00:13:38 That's like my favorite thing I've ever thought of. I feel like Rina's laugh probably makes all the riles things come out. They probably think it's like feeding time. She's like, I don't even know how to do a percent of rouse night, but I hope that that could do. So, here you go everybody. That was me helping my brother Ben. So, yeah, Denise is like, you know, we're getting married and right now it's like what I didn't know that which is her way of saying are you crazy? That's your Stop your husband off the shelter
Starting point is 00:14:15 I'm blend reads made That's great. I'm so glad You're getting married you're gonna own that baby You know let's focus on that instead of this dog business. Anyway, let's talk about the dog business. Oh, no kidding. Who's bringing the dog business up in every scene? You, even in this scene, you, ma'am. You know, it's impossible to understand how much I can lovely
Starting point is 00:14:36 Serena and disagree with every fucking thing she does. How do I do it? She cracks me up. It's like every season I disagree, but I'm still like, okay, you're funny. But again, it's like what I said, I think week which is dad like I'm I fully disagree with her But I'm enjoying how she's like having this moment like she's like so happy She's relishing it and she's just like trying to like you know like she just try to play I'm just I'm just like admiring her shamelessness
Starting point is 00:15:01 So good so here we go and do read and PK's terrible. Remy and Julia happened right here. She's like up on a balcony. She's like PK, PK. Where for? Out there. PK. Right here, babe. Right here. Just come down here, bring something to eat with you. Maybe it may be less of wine or something She literally said baby Come upstairs. I haven't seen you today baby Yeah, it's right there Trust me. This is his best angle. You're looking at him from above from a balcony. Okay. There's no better space selfie that the balcony angle
Starting point is 00:15:39 Okay, this is the Romeo Juliet version where Juliet goes for firetack Okay, this is the Romeo Juliet version where Juliet goes for firetuck. Firetuck's like robbing everybody. For film is like, okay, we can support that. The Belagio's chasing firetuck through the forest. So he's like, you look good today, babe. Where'd we go in? And she's like, okay, I've been working all day. I'm tired. P day. I'm tired.
Starting point is 00:16:05 I'm tired. What do you do? Could someone please explain to me what this bitch does? Literally beach. She is mighty from paid for those swimsuits, okay? You don't go to Disneyland and get a hat that's monogrammed to Beverly Beach and that means you own a company. Okay, pay your bills. Woman, been working all day.
Starting point is 00:16:22 What's going on, Baba? I'm like, oh, I like, I just really continue to hate that they co-opted Baba from Katie and Tom. Like I can't, it's like, it was bad enough there. The fact that I just spread to them, it started to spread last year. Now that she's saying Baba to, I'm officially pissed off that we've mentioned Katie
Starting point is 00:16:39 twice in this recap. Okay, this is me hearing up. She's invading. Geez. So Dorit has not talked to Lisa since the Bahamas and even worse, Lisa Vanderpump did not call or text PK on his birthday, but probably also because his like pay by the month's cell phone ran out. Yeah. No kidding. But do we
Starting point is 00:16:58 blame Lisa Vanderpump or cricket wireless? Is know. He used to play as he go. Is it Lisa's fault or that Jeter Bugs fault? Okay, I'm going to go a Jeter Bag. He's like, you haven't spoken with LVP. She never called or texted me. I love her. And she's a genius at manipulation and control. And I love that about her.
Starting point is 00:17:21 There's no one better than her at manipulating and controlling people. I've been sitting here next to my next telephone, waiting for it to beep. But it's hard when it's my own wife. I'm like, oh God, PK, you probably drove her to OC, the OC with that dog in the back. Apple, Apple, juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy, I know. Jerks. Jerksks and she's like well I won't is a little honesty Okay, and we can talk about okay. Let's try some honesty to read who's this woman that you gave the dog to what's her name?
Starting point is 00:17:56 What does she look like Silly tell who promises to see the euthanasia so So yeah, to read, I just want honesty. That's all I want, just honesty, which is bullshit because she's like so, that's no. Really, why don't we talk about that lady who chased you down on your trip and told you to pay your bills? How about that? Where's that? Where were we going to mention that? So then PK is like, well, I just say, you need to go over there and you say,
Starting point is 00:18:25 I just want to apologize once, but extremely humbly your majesty. And she goes, do I have to see majesty? Do I have to use that word? He's like, no, to eat. Good, because I don't even understand what it means anyway. So God, people in this hotel hate us so much. I can't believe they haven't kicked me out of this room yet I'm not gonna if we have to go back to the extended say I'm not I'm not there blood stains on the duvet. Okay, everyone. I'm saying it the extended stay in downtown
Starting point is 00:18:55 Austin had blood stains on the duvet. All right. It was not a good look. So So PK then they then there's like this like perfunctory moment here where they have to exonerate Ted, cover their pieces. PK is like, babe, is there any scenario that Teddy is making this up? And Dorit's like, you know, it's hard to look at someone like Teddy who has so much conviction and so much angst and so little joyfulness. And that believe her. You have to believe her, unless she's talking about time, which she completely doesn't understand. Have you seen the woman try to work her while?
Starting point is 00:19:34 I mean, if anyone knows about time, it's us because of George. Time, time, time. Because time and time and time, you know that song, PK. Time, after time. That Cindy Loppa, babe. So, Eric, over to Eric and test. Now, I don't know if you've noticed this on Bravo. This is weak, but there's a lot of dogs barking at their owner
Starting point is 00:19:54 to get attention or to get food. And they're always like, no, we're not giving you food. The latest in this trend, and I don't know why I'm bringing it up. I just wrote, why is this happening on every show we're watching on Broadway? The dogs like, whoa, they're like, okay, you're not hungry enough to eat yet. And this turn, it's Eric, this time is Eric is turning to say, no, you're not eating tots, dog. Because watch the dogs get to eat them when they can't, you know. But I was like, dogs don't really do that. They're not like bark. Hi, bark. I'm hungry. Like they're not really a character that talks you like that.
Starting point is 00:20:26 But then last night we were in this bar. Did you see that dog that kept barking to say hi to me? I was petting this dog. It was so cute. By the way, you can tell when LA invades Austin with people with a fucking dog in a nice bar. Like who does that? It was a nice bar in Austin.
Starting point is 00:20:41 I've never seen that. So she's in there and she's like a total LA girl with her dog on the floor and I said hi and I've had an M and stuff because I was like Hi, Bueller. I miss you and then every time I sit up he'd go Because I was turning away so my point is I have no point except the dogs to you apparently bark you when they want attention There carry on. I'm out of here. Hello, this is Lisa Rina. We have an ad coming up, so you better listen to it, baby. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Beaver, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
Starting point is 00:21:49 But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Anyway, so there's like a knock on the door and it's Teddy at Erica's house, which is pretty shocking considering last season.
Starting point is 00:22:19 And Erica's like, oh, thank God, didn't ring the doorbell because it gets stuck and it goes on, non, non, it's a nightmare. I mean, I thought it was a good idea when I'd voice my own doorbell. Ah! You know, to sit there for five hours, waiting for Mr. Dry to come home to fix it all year. It's like, ah!
Starting point is 00:22:40 That's a lot. You know, now that they've taken down Lisa Vanderpromp, all these ladies think they're the star of the show. And you know the Erica thinks that she is getting that center diamond because she's making everybody drive to Pasadena. No one lives like that, okay? And you must feel like you have power if you think my ass is going to drive to Pasadena
Starting point is 00:22:58 to smell your moldy, rickety ass house. You know what? I would rather drive to Pasadena than to the west side. I'm just saying, it's a true statement. It's an easier drive to Pasadena though. It really is and Pasadena is so much prettier Yeah, and they have a cheesecake. They do and they also have although Marina does as well That's true too. So Erickas like Teddy ain't no punk. She found a voice, you know She's she stood up to Lisa Vanderpump
Starting point is 00:23:23 I'm like that should not be like the exit. Like, like, it's sort of bullshit because Teddy stood up to you also, Erica. She stood up to like a lot of people, but it only counts and she goes up against your arrival. That's bullshit. Yeah. So she's like, well, I got you a lot of sugar. I was like, no, you're not gonna eat, but I got it as an excuse for you, dude, because that's my just a nobo girl. I like to eat like a bobo of gum and get me one of those Expressive spoons. Let me have a giant by the ice cream Teddy's like I'm hot. I'm sure hi. I'm Teddy Mmm, so she was filming a workout video for all in with Teddy melon camp. Hi, I'm Teddy
Starting point is 00:23:59 Where you don't do any sit-ups, but then you claim you did and if someone thinks you didn't you just blame somebody else So Eric and Teddy work out the chapel, the famous chapel which was like a thing I guess. So then they have coffee in. Coffee in the chapel. So now they're talking about the Bahamas. Everything was fun until you know everything happened. Yeah So now I'm talking about this whole dog scandal again Yeah, here we go. So Teddy's like, yeah, well when you said let's let things go I mean like I didn't think you were really gonna let things go Yeah, so Teddy is basically saying how she was you know, it was gossiping I know but you know what Lisa fed me information and I bit at which point I thought to read was gonna come running in and just like donate Teddy to Shelley turn
Starting point is 00:24:52 Teddy bit Because missing is in time She's a byt her turns out she's a byt her we have to give it to a lovely family Teddy on this show. Oh, I found a lovely family that wanted Teddy. I've got some advice for you, Teddy. It's in this shot I'm about to give you in the next, Shelley. So, yeah, so, Teddy, okay. Now let's all notice that Teddy is completely changing her story now.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Teddy knows she's busted and that John, now that she's shown a crop text which is total bullshit Now she's now she knows that I guess production is told her that Ken has whipped out all the John Blizzard's text making her look like a fucking liar What she is and so now she's changing her story last week. I never lie. I never tell one single lie I've never told now suddenly her story is, well, I was being shady. I mean, I don't want to pretend like I had no part. I was, yeah, I was gossiping. But now it's Lisa Vanderpromp's fault, because even though she told them,
Starting point is 00:25:55 oh, I mean, it's just so crazy. Technically says, Teddy says that, yeah, she says that she and Kyle were invited to Vanderpromp dogs and that Teddy was supposed to gossip basically about the dog was gonna be brought out and Teddy was supposed to gossip about it. She said she's being set up to do that. She said that they said that Lisa wanted me to know. And Erica goes, Lisa, why don't you come out?
Starting point is 00:26:16 I'm just like, yes, Erica. Okay, she's like coloring by numbers over there. And she goes, yes, and I made a very dramatic response and I was was kind of in it. And I was like, texting with them. I was being petty. Um, so I was saying, sure, show me the tea. Show me the tea. I wasn't being the best person. And Eric is like, oh, Mary, I had a very dramatic response. Oh, no, she goes, I knew that Teddy didn't like to read, but I didn't know she had it in the early. She's like on her own detective show right now. Here I go. She's like really, really into it.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Ah-ha! I don't think you're very easy to do it. She's like, I just said, I hated the bitch. All right, it's closed. So meanwhile, over at Villa Rosa, Schnookie has drawn the short straw from the dog. They're like, okay, one of us has to go humbly So at least it's a day who's gonna do it?
Starting point is 00:27:07 So Shnucky goes up and Shnucky is like literally like humping her arm and she's like oh Shnucky Don't hunt my arm I'm too fragile right now And then Ken comes down and he's like I couldn't find the top button in my shirt again. I've got my works by chess, thank God. And he's a pink blotty skin, darling.
Starting point is 00:27:30 I'm sick of getting darling. I don't want to drink. I have to keep it together for this meeting with Blizzard. She's like, are you going to stay? And he's like, I'm so angry about this. I don't want to talk to him. Look how angry I am. I'm living in cream.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I want to sleep. I'm so sleepy. I'm so angry about it. I don't want to talk to him. Look how angry I am. I'm living in Greenwood. I want to sleep. I'm so angry. I'm about to sleep. I can't talk to Blizzard. So John Blizzard shows up and Ken's like, have a sweet young man. Mm.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Then he buzzes off. Vanderpriv's like, she says, I was 100% sure to have nothing to do with anything do with anything and then there right there on the computer printouts She was texting Blizzard and letting me get hammered and didn't say anything that whole time. Yeah So Lisa's like now John Blizzard. I know I don't know you very well. Can you confirm for America that I don't know you, Mr. Robert Blizzard? John Hurricane. I know that I don't know you've John Snow's John Rista, right?
Starting point is 00:28:32 No Rista? John sprinkling outside. Oh, are you from Game of Thrones? John Snow. Pretty much. And he's like, yes, do not know girl. Yes, Queen check. No, you're not that kind of gay today Switched on to employee gay And he's like um, I guess it wasn't really right Lisa. What I did check. I'm not laughing really. I'm not now We both know that you work at the center and before we started anything I Appreciate everything you do for those poor dogs, those type of least dogs who don't have a possible thumbs to open corridors and escape when they're
Starting point is 00:29:10 being kidnapped to Orange County to be put in the Kale shelter. I'm so sorry that your good work at the shelter is being overshadowed by this awful women implicating that you, a person who I don't know, had I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, She goes they wanted me to tell everybody about the dog and Erica goes oh Yeah, Teddy is like Lisa was really adamant about not talking about the dog which made me realize She wants me to talk about the dog instead and I could just tell she was gonna flip the truth Yeah, I guess when I realized I was set up. Yeah, yeah, I guess she thinks now she knows now that I'm sorry It's more like that's when she realized she's being set up and then when she showed Lisa the text messages She's like it's only a matter of time before now Lisa's gonna start flipping those messages around on Teddy Yes, but she's not flipping them you did do that
Starting point is 00:30:17 So unless you got a caller a text from Lisa saying let's bring it up Which you're not even claiming you did yeah, you claiming that some 20-year-old at the center told you to do it, so you did, which he didn't, because we saw the text. Well, and okay, I just wanna clarify. So what happened with the text, because now we've seen a larger thing, is that Teddy and John Blizzard were gossiping
Starting point is 00:30:39 about the situation with the dog, which I think is totally fine and normal. I don't think there's actually anything wrong with that. And she asked, did Lisa tell you to tell me? She said no matter what, this is gonna come out. And then right after that, she texted, did Lisa tell you to tell me. And she said yes.
Starting point is 00:30:59 And then yes and one text. And then very next text, you write your IDK, which means I don't know. And so she is saying that the yes was in response to the first text message that Teddy said. Which is going to come out. And then the, I don't know is responding to Lisa, right? But either way, Teddy is going around. And again, I like Teddy, but she's going around saying like, I have definite proof.
Starting point is 00:31:22 And her proof is based off of, as far as we can tell right now, her proof is based off of as far as we can tell right now her proof is based off with this like 20 year old that she like 22 year old As she knows from spin class. Yeah, I'm not I'm not a little I have a sort of person to kid, but if you're friends with Lisa Vanderpump and you're gonna go out on this huge limb to Defend Lisa Vanderpump to take down to read but Lisa never said anything to you talk to you about it texted you about it Nothing so and also what's come out is that Hannah, the girl who raised this dog and trained the dog is married or engaged to, I'm not sure if they're married or engaged, to Teddy's brother. So that's how she knew. She knows someone right at the center who raised this actual dog.
Starting point is 00:32:01 So when this happened, you don't think Hannah's going to be like, oh, the the dog I raised just got taken to the killstalks or by your fucking enemy. You know, so give me a break, Teddy. Teddy, you're trying a little too hard here. Okay. Something, I don't know. Something is like not adding up and I just feel like this is a fight. I can't believe that this is the fight, that you were texting with some kid and thought that Lisa Vanderpump wanted you to say it. So you did it. But then you felt like she was gonna blame you for the fuck. you brush some balls you're like 40 yeah I also think that it gets Lisa wants to take down to reach she actually would do it do it herself does don't it she would have done it she would have read she would leave that dog at the shelter
Starting point is 00:32:36 until the first day of filming and then have the shelter call us and I'll be like do read have the dog get a kill shout yeah to get her on the phone to read this dog is at a kill shout that's a really easy target I guarantee Lisa would have just spent the entire season doing microaggressions and everything she doesn't need to do a whole elaborate thing you know she would have stupid yeah so either way so um so Lisa's now still talking with John Blizzard and she's saying, you know the other night I you know I remember that Saturday night so well John Sassan can't have an argument. Oh They were yelling and screaming and I said stop
Starting point is 00:33:16 stop I do not care. I care not for what now yes. I don't care You can I don't care if you tell Donald Trump himself. I don't give a shit or like how about is that little Lucy Lucy apple juice. But the way that it was twisted is that John Sessa told you that I don't care who you told and he goes, yeah, you said you said tell whoever. And she said, so you chose to tell Teddy, but then you implicate me. And she pulls out the text and he's like, okay, well, I put words in your mouth and that weren't true and I'll own that.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I'll own it. She's like, well, sometimes there are moments that you can just shut the fuck up, twink. All right. And he's like, but she's very involved with the center. She goes, well, she might not be anymore. She really gave me a hard time. Pooh me! I'm bleeding out of my heart and he's like and that's why everyone at the center is having such a hard time with this because it's all being flipped on to you I'm like yeah like everyone is always so sad when their boss gets the deal shit like oh I'm so mad I'm so sad that my boss is like a deal shit like what just like, I'm a deal of shit. Like what? She's like, oh, misaccount of fucking ability.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah, yeah. It's not just about when you eat, you know what you eat. It's about being accountable in life. Own your poo. You don't poop at it. I'm gonna have to point out one thing in this Eric and Teddy conversation. Please. Because now that Teddy is changing her story and coming clear, Eric is like,
Starting point is 00:34:43 Uh-huh. Right, you admitted it. In the chapel, Don't tell me that's a waste of space. And then she tells us she's like, I've said to Teddy that she's not as innocent as she portrays. And I think that I've been proven right. And then we see the clips of Erica telling her at the reunion, like, please, miss innocent. And then she cuts back to her. And she's like like it takes a lot to want to help someone take someone down I was like, ooh now Eric is turning me down. Yeah, I was like it's me is Eric a manager. I hope so because it's just so lopsided You know
Starting point is 00:35:16 So now we go over back to DC and there are there are the family is like moving Sofia into her dorm You know at George Washington and recently and recently, I think it's great. You know, you have a gorgeous window here. It's a window and you know, I can really sell this on the agency right now. In fact, I'm going to put your dorm in my for sale right now. Actually, I'm going to buy it for a certain price and then I'm going to sell it again for a higher price. It's not fraud, you know, it's just something we do.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Yeah. So Sophia is like, Mom, the bathroom lighting is really scary. I'm not going to lie. I'm like, you should be lucky that you have a bathroom in your dorm room, okay? Like, it's probably like an extra $100,000 a year. Yeah. Of course Kyle, she can't help Kyle, Kyleing her daughter. She's like, well, you have your mirror that you had to have.
Starting point is 00:36:04 So don't worry about the lighting. Yeah. And girls like, okay, now cleaning, you know, I'm gonna have to teach you how to scrub a toilet. And she's like, what do you have to clean the toilet? It flushes itself. Okay. So then Rina is getting her makeup done with her game. Join Maloov, famously the makeup artist for what's his what's her face Rachel. So he's like he's another funny He's He's a person what no person. I just I don't know. I thought I mean I just found him to be just like as such a classic like hangar on both on Rachel's Oh, and here just I don't know who's cracking you know, I always just have this like that part where you like try the hose and then he's running with the hose like in both of his arms
Starting point is 00:36:50 So he's doing a home and garden cover for some magazine. Yeah, and she's like so funny Because I don't know Queen time at all But I'm a darn good actress And he's like um is this like fun or not? And he goes, have you actually ever gardened? Cause like, it's good to laugh at yourself and not take anything too seriously. She's like, I'm like some people who take themselves
Starting point is 00:37:15 way too bad or seriously. It's like, God, are you obsessed? Get over it. Who touched you? Like give me a break. This is not even about you. So, it is like I feel sorry for her because when you take yourself too seriously, I feel like it ages you
Starting point is 00:37:34 So much You just see like I Don't know what else could say I just say like an old rattlesnake, but that doesn't make sense like a rattlesnake That takes it's up to seriously Itiously, but it's feeling sad. She's like, it ages you. Just saying. Which I'm so sick of just saying, okay, I can't. I'm trying to break my mother saying just saying,
Starting point is 00:37:52 because I'm going to kill her if she says just saying one more time. Just saying. So she goes, look how fresh it is. It's easy. This face is. Ha ha. So then photo shoot, one of the photographer gaze like lift up the dress. Yeah, lift it up. I'm just like I see who Jean is like, yeah, what's going to say? She's since that's there.
Starting point is 00:38:16 So then Lisa Renee gives us a little monologue about how much she's worked in your life. I've been asking 30 years the so long time baby. I've done so many things. Days of her lives dancing with the stars. Like, dancing with the stars is like three weeks. She has hustled though. I mean, like, you know, not a lot of, I just, I saw her dancing the stars. I went to one table dancing the stars back in like 2005
Starting point is 00:38:45 And that was her season and I saw her dance and saw dancing up a storm there Mm-hmm. I just like that dancing with the stars is listed before Broadway Like you've been on Broadway, okay, you can't say dance with the stars then depends then Broadway Then QVC like what that was a list maybe that was the chronology of her career. I Don't know It is funny though dancing the more Chicago. It's just like the weirdest LinkedIn profile ever You know, Broadway Dancing, you know QVC
Starting point is 00:39:16 So now we go back to Kyle in DC and Mauricio is curling her like curling her hair and stuff You know, I'm at a many times. Yeah, I'm gonna sell this curling iron right up to this. And the agency's gonna go into hair also. So anyway, Teddy's on the phone for you. So Teddy calls up and Teddy of course is like gossiping about everything she just said to Erica. And she's like, yeah, I'm talking to Erica.
Starting point is 00:39:41 And Erica said, we all believe you. And like, you know, Teddy, you're talking about how you were like caught up in all the gossip with John Blizzard as if there was like a moment of like poor character, whatever, you're doing the same thing, you're still just gossiping out of Kyle. Yeah, and supposedly Erica told her, the thing to remember is that Lisa used you.
Starting point is 00:40:02 And I'm like, okay, enough. Yeah, as if you're not being as black-priced. You used you black-priced, you're so weak that she didn't even have that Lisa used you. And I'm like, okay, enough. Yeah, as if you're not being used by a pro now. You're so weak that she didn't even have to like call you. I don't believe it. Okay, now here's another piece of gossip that came out this week. Yeah, I'm so bored with the story, then I can't. I'm not bored with it, but I know, but I don't care. I'm still bored with it.
Starting point is 00:40:19 So here's another piece of gossip. And when they were at that dinner in the Bahamas, when Lisa Vanderpump left early, that's why Neenie was in the Bahamas because she was supposed to be brought on camera to confront Lisa about stealing her restaurant ice cream. Did you read that? That's from some flash.
Starting point is 00:40:34 That seems farfetched. Really Neenie just happens to be in the Bahamas at the same place at the same time as the real housewives of Beverly Hills. Teddy says to, Teddy is saying that like, oh yeah, well, Erica's, you know, like Lisa Vanderpump is like using me to get back at the re- and Kyle's response is, well, you have to think about it, like what's her next move? And I'm just like, it's like, fuck you Kyle,
Starting point is 00:40:56 because if you're... if Kyle is saying that she's her like best friends with Lisa Vanderpump, like she's saying, oh, it's my oldest friend, she's so close, who does that to their friend in the sense of, if let's say it's like you or another really close friend of mine, someone's accusing it something of doing something, I would say, you know what, I don't think it, I know her, I don't think she's trying to do that or it's not that big of a deal or it's not that deep. Like there are ways to diffuse it, there's ways to do that or it's not that big of a deal or it's not that deep. Like there are ways to diffuse it, like there's ways to like support your friend.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Yeah, but she's not going to diffuse a fire that she's starting. It's like, yeah, because the point is that she clearly wants to take out Lisa Vanderbump but she's the one who wants to be like, oh, but she's my friend. But she's like, by her saying, you have to think about what's her next move. She is continuing to stoke the flames. She's continuing to make Teddy feel paranoid and feel like she's part of a master plan. So instead of just like being like, no, Teddy, listen, don't worry about it. I think if Lisa wants to take down Doree, she could do it.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Like, she doesn't need you to do it. You know, like, I just don't think it was, it was not a nice, it was. That is why Kyle is and always has been the worst So how you suck Well, I just think it's just so rude. Can anyone can everyone hear the vacuum cleaners outside? Or do we have a worst on our hotel room as we mentioned there? I think they're fighting back with the vacuum right outside. Yeah, and in fact by the way Kyle Kyle even says right now
Starting point is 00:42:22 Lisa is one of my oldest friends and Teddy is one of my closest friends. I have to pick a side. I'm like, you, A, you don't have to pick a side. You're the one who created the sides. And B, like, where's the loyalty to your friend of like nine years? Yeah, she, sis Kyle. She's a Kyle. She's a Kyle. Um, yeah, Kyle's the worst. So then Erica, I mean, uh, Teddy, Teddy. He knows terrified of the monster that's Vanderpump She's like if you look I'm looking over my shoulder the whole time No one's fucking chasing you Teddy no one cares about you stupid. It's not like the T 5,000 or whatever is like chasing after you like just
Starting point is 00:43:03 Turn into a pickup truck and is racing you down the street right behind me Possibly printing out proof that I'm a fucking liar. Yeah, don't like just how about just don't gossip as much I mean or if you're in a gossip just like be cool with it or if you're gonna come for a boss You better have something this is another season of bullshit Yeah, you're gonna take Vanderpump do it in a good way I'm sure Vanderpump is guilty of tons of shady shit. Yeah, we're not seeing any of get on something real people Yeah, yeah, where she's laundering her money You'll find out why she gonna afford that estate find out why she's friends with PK in the first
Starting point is 00:43:39 Yeah, you know that's some shady shit. That's the real that you do that Teddy any then will then we'll figure out why there's cute adorable little twink Hosts at that pump that suddenly disappear after one night of work never seen again What foreign country they being sold to and locked in cages in yeah There's got to be some real shit to get her on people you're wasting my time. Yeah, find out what why I do this swans Like her swans. I like anyone, but they like her. That's weird. Find out about that. Find the baby factory where she's stealing toddlers
Starting point is 00:44:09 to steal stem cells from the injectant or an X, right? Yeah, why don't you find out why Pandora doesn't talk anymore? How about that? What? Why not find out why Vanderpump tried to stuff Pandora into a radio station in the first place, turned her daughter into a robot like Caprica.
Starting point is 00:44:25 And where is Cedric anyway? Find that out. Yeah, find out where Cedric is. Yeah. Or, didn't she have a maid before Rosio? Her. So, so now Teddy is with Duret and Erica at like a horse place, like a questionryrian center or something and two horses named Terrence and Trigger which made me laugh I don't know why I just feel like just like words that I feel like would confuse to read Terrence Trigger I don't know so so now Teddy is like she's like you know my friendships with Erica and Doreta shifted and now we're all. And you know what I'm thinking? It's like, this is like classic. Erica is a cool girl, okay.
Starting point is 00:45:09 She's just like the cool girl. And I think that basically, people, they both to read and Teddy push back against Erica at first. But I think they've been seduced by her cool girlness. And that's, they've decided ultimately they want, like Vanderpump's not the cool girl and Erica's the cool girl Look the LA winner. There's probably dead body in there
Starting point is 00:45:31 And uh to eat like well, I think my horse he got in a couple of dudes there listen coils I've been on horses all across the maricles and the world is real Disneyland Insana In Saminas London Barry It's like shut up to read I love horses so much that we actually put four horses into our car
Starting point is 00:46:01 And that's what they say our car has horsepower because we actually have horses in there. Good so they end up going to lunch after that but in the meantime Kyle's still a college with their kids. Yes, she's in like an alternate universe where time goes by so slowly like all this stuff is happening Beverly Hills and then we cut back to Kyle and Risa and they're're like, still on the same, like, it's like five minutes later in DC. You're like, oh my God. They do nothing, they're so boring this family. It's like, you want to go to lunch? Okay, baby, let's go to lunch.
Starting point is 00:46:31 You want to go to dinner? Okay, baby, let's go to dinner. You want to go to lunch again? Okay, baby, let's go to lunch again. What I'd like to bet this, and now they're at dinner, and what I'd like to bet this is I feel like we saw some previously unspoken tension between Marissu and Farah, because Farah came in.
Starting point is 00:46:46 And she's like, yeah, I've got to leave tomorrow. I've got to fly at 9 a.m. tomorrow. And she's like, and I got to get there early to check my bag. I'm really so like, you came in two days and have a bag to check. And she goes, yep. Like, don't push me, Marisa.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Don't push me. It's like gotta be in that nine to give some evidence to a lawyer that's suing you right now for fraud. How about that, Dad? You want to really gulp me about some more suitcases? Oh, you can't be a little kidding, you're right. Yeah, it's like what you can, what you can rent a yacht in this out the France. You can't pay the $25 for my fucking suitcase Yeah, quote unquote dad. He's like, you're up. Yep. That's right. They're not my daughter
Starting point is 00:47:33 So let's behind every cowboy. Oh lunch. They got to some country place and it says behind every cowboy is a woman with a good job in town Which is a hilarious sign. Yeah. And well spoken. Yeah. So they're, yeah, they're getting out of their horses and stuff and you're like, thank you Terrence. And that was the last we ever saw Terrence, you know, Treesentim off to.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Yeah, Doreet's like, goodbye Terrence. Hello, glue. Uh, fix up PK's ripped off news. Terrence, brush a little Terrence! Hello, glue! Uh-huh. Fix up, PK's ripped off news! Terrence, brush a little Terrence on it. We gave Terrence a lovely family. Oh my god, Senator Ead, who I think is... Well, I think one of her parents is Hispanic, right? No, they're both Israeli, I think.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Oh, yeah. Okay, so then it's really funny that she looks like a Hispanic accent when she's hoarding. She's like, hello. I would like a kisser here with guacamole, please, please, with my pickante is also okay, much as class yes, can you believe it goes? I think I'm going to go with the mission. I love them. I got a free app. What for? What would you mind? Could you, could I have a vegetarian barito? She does like the Spanish version. And El Paso growing up. There is a whiz and knees, a knees caster. He did that.
Starting point is 00:48:53 She did. Hello and welcome. I'm Maria Contita Maria Lazo, whatever he name. But she could do that. She would only use a accent on certain things. Cracks me up. Sinada, they're talking. Teddy's like, yeah, men have triggers.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Like, I know exactly how to piss off Edwin. I'll have to say it's, hi, I'm Teddy. Triggered. Ted one's triggered. I don't think you should wear a tank top again today. He gets so mad. Mm-hmm. Yes, they talk about their husbands and on board.
Starting point is 00:49:20 And then, um, Well, and, and of course, Teddy, was, she's like, I would always says that since I trained horses for living um that I can like I don't know I actually got lost in a lot of time I can't care like what can't I train Ed when I can train a horse and then Eric is like well time this wants someone soft and slow and tweaking and if I can do that I'm golden guess what I'm not going to do any of that I don't got a prenup so I don't go for America he married was a way Trish and the Denny's
Starting point is 00:49:55 Thong in a night job at Elephant Spearman Rino Erica to the Try to be RuPaul Erica the body is trying to be RuPaul Yeah, they're talking about like Doreet starts saying how PK's always you know first job He always has to go out to parties and stuff and she just wants to stay home Maybe with the kids, but she says that he'll be like well. I want to be home with the kids too and Teddy is like just tell him hey, you know what you're like Superman, you got this, you don't need me, you know, because like, yeah, I always say, you're better at this than I am anyway.
Starting point is 00:50:28 And then they're all like, ha ha ha. We just deprecated ourselves for a man. Yeah, congrats. So then Denise and Aaron go on. Oh God. You ever wonder what would be like to watch Denise Richards go on a date with a piece of Driftwood? God, he really is. We ever wonder what would be like to watch Denise Richards go on a date with a piece of driftwood God he really is Bless his heart, but it's still funny because he's like
Starting point is 00:50:50 Yeah, I'd like a double custom me goes Rapposava of make that a triple and Denise is like God Hope to have a single like I love it to me. Yeah, so we're women that family exactly. She sure has the type doesn't she? so cheers to being done with Nicholasolette Sheridan. They toast to that and you know, Denise starts talking about all the baggage that she brought to the relationship. She's like, yeah, it's just a disaster, you know, I marriage is hardly sheen teenage, you know, I've got teenagers. Yeah, it was pretty the story just how she brushes everything under the rug. She's like, I meant Charlie in a movie. He was adorable And then you know things got sideways when I got pregnant with Lola and I got dark and toxic and After one real bad night I packed up and filed the next day. I was like, I need so much filled in. Yeah
Starting point is 00:51:39 Not fair. That's not fair Denise. So Aaron has something really important to say because they're trying to figure out when they're gonna get married He's like um Like we have to get married in 10 days from now on September 8th. She's like why he's like Neumarology, I mean if you add it all up. It's infinity 8. She's like What it's just September 8 No, it's infinity. I'm like what are are you going to have a toy story wedding to? Like how many? How many meetings to close out? Yeah, it's also like the theme of revenge. Yeah, he's like, he's like, yeah, September's the ninth month, eight plus nine is 17 and one plus seven is eight. Yeah. She's like, yeah, I don't give a shit about
Starting point is 00:52:24 this stuff. Yeah, I just like pick a date. It's fine. Go fucking the bathroom. I know. She's like, so is eight, like a good luck number or something. Like, I'm still not tracking this. She's like, what do you think? Infinity babe, infinity. It's like so L.A. There's these guys exist in LA and they are so ridiculous. And if you ever got into trapped in a conversation with one of them, you're like, what is my life right now? How am I hearing this? It's like if numerology really worked, you wouldn't need plugs. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:52:56 Like you could find a way to grow your hair. I don't know. It's like if magic work, I think we'd all be thin with hair. I mean, couldn't they theoretically also get married on October 8th or November 7th? Don't even try and make me do it right now, okay? December 6th. I mean, I'm just saying there's a lot of options. It's not a lot of options.
Starting point is 00:53:14 So Denise is saying, she basically wants to do some things spontaneous. And she's like, that's what I love about you, baby. Also, you're rich. And she's like, she's like, listen, what I love about you, baby. Also, you're rich. And she's like, she's like, listen, I don't base my numbers off. I don't base my decisions off the numbers. I base them off of Dick. Even if that dick is attached with big ol' idiot, he's got giant packs and huge arms, and that's all I need right now at this point in my life. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about the number eight except that he's got it. And she's like, all right, sister, you go girl. I don't care about the number eight except that that's what he did to me.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Am I right, ladies? Am I right? Please get a prenup. I like you to this. I know, please. Please, please, please. Guess what Kyle's doing with her family. Eating. There are other people all thin. Fuck this family. I'm so mad at this family
Starting point is 00:54:05 They're at the Willard hotel, which has been the home of several real househouse of Potomac of Scenes by the way, so so anyway, so they're all they're in there of sweet and the room service guy comes in And he puts the food out on like the credenza or something the side table and it just leaves and we're just like oh It's always not gonna serve us. Oh, okay. I'm like it's room service You buffoon So then Kyle gets up and she starts serving everyone like no one even gets up to help her She's taking all these dishes all these plates and they're just sitting there like not like oh can I help you Whatever they just sit there all like lumps and she's just doing everything. Yeah, this is bullshit. Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:41 Kyle's family boars me. I don't even know any of that. Well, because they are. They're just like wake me up and Kyle's off the screen. Well, because it's like the third scene of Kyle trying not to cry, then crying, they make no other dollars. And now like porous as crying, they're all crying. I'm bored. Okay. So Doreet is Doreet calls Kyle. And they're basically guess what they're talking about. Now that Kyle's back in LA now,
Starting point is 00:55:07 now we're finally done with DC. So guess what they're talking about? Lisa Vanderpuh, Zucker. So Kyle's like, just, I think she just wants to clear the air from the Bahamas, which is why we have to go to her house. Because this is a power move. Eric is not the only one who will make you drive your ass
Starting point is 00:55:23 to Pasadena. Lisa lives closer, but she's still like, we will have problems on my soy bitch. Yeah, it's like, you're gonna have to cross a moat to have problems with me. Yeah, exactly. And you have to fenders, you have to like, keep your cancels away from my swans. Yes. So, Jareeets, like, I spoke with PK and neither one of us want this dog situation to go any further and cause like, well, maybe that's the goal for today. I's like, I spoke with PK, and neither one of us want this dog situation to go any further.
Starting point is 00:55:45 And Kyle's like, well, maybe that's the goal for today. I'm like, um, fat chance if you're involved, okay? No, no, no, you were not going to squash this. This is your entire, like, this is your, this is your moment and you're going for it. Yeah. So you even showed up in a pink suit. Yeah. Which is so, like who cares?
Starting point is 00:56:01 Pat, I agree that you can't own a color, but it's Kyle. But Kyle knows. You know, she knew. So like who cares past like I agree that you can't own a color, but it's Kyle the Kyle No, she knew she shows up in the car that Lisa drives and the color that Lisa wears With with like with like creases on her butt from the swing that she got that Lisa has So so Kyle shows up and Lisa of course is like oh Hello, oh, thank you for wearing my color to my house dumb bitch Yes, because you know that pink makes me happy trying to turn it around so that Kyle can't cry and say well I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be a bed-wing pink anymore. I was like oh good Kyle's last year
Starting point is 00:56:42 What a poor stand to make him live. So Kyle, 2020. Yeah, so Kyle asks for Rose. And then Lisa's like, Kyle, I was wondering if you could tell me a really boring story about what you've been up to lately. She's like, well, I went to DC and we were dropping on Sophia. This is a great perfect unit. God, do you have something in common with Doreet?
Starting point is 00:57:02 You can put anything to sleep. God, do you have something in common with Doreet? You can really struggles with time. The fact that to read just assumed that it was lunchtime. Oh, so she goes to Van and Promslick. Now, let's me pull out. Minella Foda! Minella Foda! Business, business. I hate what went down in the Bahamas.
Starting point is 00:57:46 I was being accused of something I knew I didn't do. And when I came back, Ken showed me something to change my mind. He showed me that Texas. The John, it's raining possibly outside. 80% chance of AIDS. I'm sorry, I don't really know his name, aren't.
Starting point is 00:58:05 On account of me, not even really knowing who he is. I have 400 employees, I mean granted 396 of them are good, so you don't actually see them. But they still do work. Good name was Leslie something. Leslie Snowstorm. Oh, Tom Leslie. Yes, I barely, barely know her. I believe the name was, oh, was it Joanne Frappuccino?
Starting point is 00:58:34 No, it's John Blizzard. Mr. Heathmizer. Merrick, no. So she's like, well, here are the paper, paper, paper, paper, business, business. She says, have the dog that, and I could say it looks like Torrid's dog. Well, now, Teddy has already caught wind that this is going to happen. She's caught wind. Oh, yeah, yeah, printed out these text. She's already changed her story. So we know that Teddy knows this is coming. So she's, that's why she's called everyone on the cast already. And gone over her story. So now no one's surprised why this right? Because they already know Kyle knows and Kyle says like, so when Lisa shows the text that says that says, oh, you know,
Starting point is 00:59:18 what like, when what have you wrote, how the dog there? And I can say something, Kyle says, well, I mean, I can see what you're saying, but I think it's unfair to put that on her when she wasn't alone in the situation. So I'm like, oh, so it's okay to give Teddy the benefit of the doubt in the situation to see like the different like, cadences or nuances I should say of the situation,
Starting point is 00:59:37 but Lisa's like, oh, she's just manipulating. That's unfair. Yeah, because they're saying that Teddy's admitting it. So if Lisa admitted it, it wouldn't be a problem. Yeah. It's just that Lisa's not admitting it. Yeah, I get that part But Lisa you still don't have any well then Teddy and then Kyle says you know, of course I've seen you's all Teddy show me on her phone But you know what though, but here's the thing Teddy didn't initiate I'm like also now the issues that Teddy didn't initiate that John blizzard I don't know. It's just yeah
Starting point is 01:00:01 I don't know I just think it's so funny that they're all standing up for Teddy by saying she's so weak that she was told she was told to do something by a 22 year old and she did So then go mine so I mean so then there I mean Not to read sort of does trip up Vanderpump though because then she's cows like oh Kyle trips with Vanderpump She's like so she first calls because it says to read like how did you know that Teddy knew and then to read like Well Lisa called me and then cows like well Lisa How did you know that Teddy knew about this and? This is like I didn't know that Teddy knew I just I
Starting point is 01:00:40 Guess I guess I assumed she knew I was like mmm, that's not a strong moment for Lisa Vanderpump. We saw the, we saw it. We saw her say, we saw after that thing, she went to Dureton said, you have to know they were talking about this at the foundation and how Teddy knows this information. But how does she, I think what they're saying is like, if she doesn't know John Blizzard very well,
Starting point is 01:01:03 like how would she know that John Blizzard was gossiping to Teddy because Teddy is friends with Hannah and John Blizzard whose friends with John Cessa they all work there. So why wouldn't Teddy know? Yeah, of course she fucking knows. I just are all gossiping. They would all know every little thing Yeah, I think it was and Vanderpump took she said don't show the dog on camera. They did anyway. This was before they even said anything about the dog or where it was from Teddy said that dog looks or John Sessas said doesn't this dog look familiar and she said don't say anything. She's shutting it down. Teddy was the one who said something. So even if you're saying she Manipulated you right in that moment. She said don't say anything and you did anyway, so it just doesn't hold any fucking water And if anything it was actually if you go back to that scene
Starting point is 01:01:47 You know who is actually trying to try and up make something happen if I happen was Kyle I was like why is everyone talking about this dog ever talking about this dog What is it? I feel like there's something going on with this dog. Oh, is there something weird about this dog? I just feel weird to talk about to read dog She was the one who was making into a thing and when it actually was like not a thing at all. Yeah, so yeah But anyway Kyle things that Lisa still had a conversation and then you brought it up Again at the party so that everybody would know put it on the dial was wanting brought it right up I don't know this I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this and Kyle's like well
Starting point is 01:02:17 Here's what happened with the dog. So what the fuck? Yeah, so anyways, there's there's so they're talking about how you know Teddy saying that John Blizzard had an order and Lisa's like, where are you believing? Why are you believing what he says? I'm holding the text messages. I'm holding the conversation like why are you believing? What she's saying over what you're looking at Treat was given an order and she's like so you believe I told John Sess Sess I told John Blizzard they're both lying and this is like trying to connect the dots of what to read things and she's like but Teddy isn't here and she let
Starting point is 01:02:56 me to believe that they had the dog and they wanted the dog then they brought the dog out she's like so you're so it's very least you can admit that the story that Teddy is giving you is different than the story that is in these texts. And to read it's like, U to defend herself well you know that doesn't seem to stop you like dragging the savander pump behind her back not even for this situation but like last season we know too I just I don't know like I just the hypocrisy really bothers me and as you know as you always say we took a hypocritical we're hypocrites too we get it but I just I just I don't like it
Starting point is 01:03:42 yeah I'm just kind of sick of it and then to read like Did he said the vendor pump was the only one, but she's not as innocent as she claims to be and then she's pretending to cry She's like And Krause like can we just move on? Oh, okay, yeah, I like it. Okay I like also every time Lisa talk she holds up the text messages like really big like good for her. She just holds it up. She's like she's but she keeps putting them down across the table so she always has to like reach across like one moment. Yes. It's all the big dramatic move.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Yeah. So like I've had this made into a turning. What do they call this? Posing those red carpet turn in seas. What are they? Um, look seas. No, no, there are signs. I'm totally ripped. I've turned these text messages into a step-and-repeat. Would you like to pose to read them in front of these large taxes?
Starting point is 01:04:35 It's like the Mimalfaunt. I know. So, basically, he says like, ah, somebody's guilty. Bio-mission! Eugh! She takes a shit at the end of it. Eugh! Eugh! Look! A little pink egg comes out.
Starting point is 01:04:53 And that brings us to the end of... Real housewives. We are so dead from... Like, can you tell, we're brain dead from this festival. That brings us to the end. A van of pump rules oh my goodness wow well the controversy rages on thank you all for listening um we are going to be in Cincinnati this Saturday so
Starting point is 01:05:18 uh there's still tickets available for that summer house show your early show be fun we'll be drinking rosé eyeball these I should say I don't want to claim maybe three rosé in honor of it. It's happy hour. So watch your crappens.com for that. And also that amazing merch, Ronnie, if wowed the audience and DC with those, the Luanne Leggings. Hey, so everyone, thanks for listening. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us
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