Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Every Rosé Has Its Thorn

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

If you have a rosé tasting and half your castmates aren't there to see it, did you ever really have a rosé tasting? That's one of the many existential questions lurking within the latest Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which features Rinna airing some unfinished business with Sutton.Don't just listen to the episode, watch it too with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/70072408?pr=trueFind bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Watch what crap ends. Watch what crap ends. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends. Oh, and welcome to watch what crap ends, the podcast, but all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. And that cough over there in the corner is Ronnie. Karam. Hi, Ronnie.

Are you okay? I'm great over here, okay? I'm red as a beat now. Out of the box. We just killed this opening. I started talking. I was like, what am I supposed to say? I'm actually a mess over here.

Okay, I hurt my back. So I'm like holding onto walls to walk, you know, stand up and stuff. And Bueller hurt his toe and his eye. His eyes hanging off. It's like his eyeballs, like, no, his eyeballs's not hanging out. But right under his eye. We're a mess over here. Yeah.

That's what's happening. And then we opened the episode with me hacking. So that's great. Let's just quit. Today's quit day. Bye. Well, you know what? Sometimes you just infuriate me.

So today we're talking about real housewives of Beverly Hills. Did I say our name's Ben Mandelker, Ronnie Karam? I don't know. I feel like I'm like out of it today. This is going to be a wacky, wacky recap. Before we start, of course, a gentle reminder that on Mondays we have take a seat on Spotify Live, so come join us for that. We'll be talking about all the random stuff.

Probably even talk about. We'll hear what you guys think about today's Beverly Hills up. episode. Also, this is a Crappins on Demand episode. And if you're just joining us, Crappins on demand is when we flip on our webcams and you get to watch us record the episode, not just listen. So usually there's something like Beuler in the background, although maybe Bueller's still nursing his injuries and isn't going to make a cameo appearance back there. But either way, go to patreon.com. He's just hiding his face. He's embarrassed about his face. Yeah. He sets his face, but he's hiding it. Oh, it's his face. Oh, I see.

He's playing all sorts of mind games. Go to patreon.com slash watch for crappins. There's all different types of tiers that you can support at. You can do the most basic tier is you just get the weekly bonus episode, which we do have a weekly bonus episode. Kai. We have several tiers, but at the crap is on demand level, you get to watch shows like today's,

and you also get the bonus episode, and you also get access to the Discord server. So go check that out because it's super fun. You know, we mention it almost every episode, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it gives you the full crappins experience. So that is that. Anything you want or need to add, Ronnie? No.

You know, all complaining aside, it is so nice to show up here. Like, this is the end of all the crap. It's like you struggle to walk and hold the walls to get here to talk about this bullshit that we love to watch. Yeah. Now, this is the episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where Rinnah, I don't know if someone was like, okay, Rina, we need more from you. You know how Rina does that thing every season where she just kind of comes on and sits around

and smiles and nods? And her entire season is usually like, how are you? That's all she does. And like when other people tell stories, she goes, I know. And she repeats exactly what they're saying, which she does a lot in this episode.

She does that for a lot of the season. And then they're like, okay, Rina, you're in. You know, it's like, get off the bench. and she just comes swinging and she just starts, she picks one thing and just starts repeating it over and over again. This is the Elton John dinner. And she just goes full villain and got to love it. Well done.

Welcome. She's going full. She's doing her thing. I mean, I feel like she's trying to make something happen here because she hasn't gotten to Kathy Elton yet, which looks like it'll be the rest of the season. So she's just going to like use this Elton John. thing for now because Renna's whole thing is that she likes to confront people with this is the harsh truth and she doesn't really have any harsh truths to confront right now so she just has to use

Elton John right you know like that's what else what does she have to say right so that's why she's waiting for Kathy Elton because she can say this is the harsh truth about whatever whatever the fuck happened in Aspen which we have to wait to find out but anyway the point is yes you're correct this is Rina Rina like suddenly, like, she's done charging. The iPhone is done charging in the corner, and now it could be taken off the cord and be used properly. Yeah. Yes, exactly.

It's like the update is done, you know. The air fryer is preheated, okay? It's like pooh-bo-da-bo-bo-boo. Yeah. Software version 15.6 has been installed. And you're like, oh, now my messaging's fucked up. Great. Glad I pressed accept.

I would like a software update. comes back but her wigs all shifty you know she looks kind of out of it still you're like well you know i knew this was a trial software update but still pressed except i'm going to need a software update to update us out of the bucket hat phase i'll tell you that much um the episode opens up with renna in a bucket hat walking around her kitchen just doing stuff she's making hot water with lemon yeah yeah you know yeah did you say gilligans it's her like gilligan island hat yeah it's like her gilligan island Is that what he wore? I feel like he did wear this hat.

Probably, yeah. But it's kind of, yeah. Her little bucket hat, like it could be raining where she could be shipwrecked. And I was worried about this episode because it was way too much time spent on this. It's like, well, there's Renna cutting a lemon. Why does Renna have so many lemons? Ha ha ha. Keep the camera on the lemons.

She's cutting it. She's still cutting it. She's moving her glass across the little plate that you put it on. What? Get to it. I know. So, TikTok. They had to sort of stretch their content this episode. It makes me wonder, sometimes when you have an episode where they stretch the content,

it's because they just need to get to the cliffhanger so that way the next episode is good. Because I noticed, like, at Rina's Rana Rosey party, they were stretching the content big time. Like almost everything they use as an excuse to do a flashback. They're like, wow, I just love these benches. And it's like season two, Doreet, sitting on a bench. Like, I love benches. Like, we don't need a flashback to Doreet second season when she sat on a bench. You know, like every, they did a lot of those flash.

Whenever they do like a ton of flashbacks, that means they got to fill that hour, you know. Flashbacks to nothing. Yeah. Okay. So, yes, Gilligan making tea. Okay. So then she's like, let's call some ladies. So she just sits down and starts calling people.

And it's the saddest calling people to invite them over scene of all time because no one's really into it or can come or knows what she's talking about yeah um first she calls diana who is so rina's wearing a bucket hat that says like c chenelle yeah right and then she calls diana who's wearing another brand yeah like an lv brand and so it's like brand it's like let's see every let's see what brands everybody's wear everybody see what see what brands are bragging about today yeah it's like going to the mall which i did yesterday i actually went to a mall yesterday I feel like there was something funny to say about going to the mall. I don't remember.

Oh, I want to give a shout out. Sorry, this is out of nowhere. I want to give a shout out to Ernie at Heath Ceramics, who is a Watchwork Crapins listener. And he made my day. He was like, are you Ben from Watcherick Rapids? I was like, yes. And that made me so excited. So shout out to Ernie at Heath.

Yes, Ernie. I heat ceramics. So she calls Diana, and she's like, hi, beauty. I've got two Cs on my hat. And it's like, I'm so sick of being sick. I have Gucci on my hat. I also have two C's. Like, oh my God, what does this mean?

So Kyle is, Kyle has COVID. Yeah, Kyle's in COVID jail. Yeah. Proves that sometimes COVID, you know, has decent aim. Just kidding. But yeah, everybody on this, everybody on this show has had it now. Also, I suspect that Lisa Vanderpump probably had it the week before because Kyle really only does things that Lisa's already done.

So. I was like, I got. COVID, which is so weird, because I think I got it while I was sitting on my pink floral swing that I had installed in the backyard with my 18 dogs and two goats. I just got two mini horses. So then, yes, then she moves on to basically like half the cast has COVID right now, like Crystal, Diana, Rina. And then, so then Rina, and not did I say Rina, I meant to say Kyle.

So then, but Renna calls up Sutton to invite her, she's like, You can wear leather pants if you want to or not. You can do it. All right, producers roll that flashback of Crystal. No, you're not going to do it. This is the one time you're not going to do a flashback to Crystal's band. Okay, okay, I set you up, but that's okay. Rina is both coming to do the, um, the, I'm a villain now episode.

And she's also doing the like, I'm a dinner theater, you know, performer now, where she's like doing her Lisa Rinnah at the Jupiter Dinner Theater Lisa give us your greatest hits and she's like hey welcome you can wear leather pants she makes a lot of callbacks to earlier seasons this this year like hey remember that one some people say I need to eat some bread ha ha ha ha ha hit Charles I was like yeah there's a lot of cues the orchestra so anyways yeah so she's doing this Rina Jose party and there's going to be signature cocktails and Derreet's like,

Oh, it's happening. It's finally happening. Are you going to be serving your wine in one of those fancy Jimmy Lee Curtis cups that keeps things hot and gold? Well, you know what? It's only going to be the six of us, Dorit. It's only going to be the six of us this time. And DeReed's like, oh, I feel like the last one standing. Like, there's going to be six of you there. How are you going? I know.

You're the last one standing. But it's only me, you're saying. No, this is going to be six. So just me then. Oh, Rina. I love that. Like, it's only going to be six of us. That's the size of a normal housewives cast, by the way.

Oh, guys, sorry. It's going to be kind of dead. Only six of us are going to be there. Yeah, that's the size of a housewives cast that does things. Yeah. For our entertainment. So, not. Oh, Kathy.

Oh, Kathy also has good. I mean, even this plot line is stolen from a, another season. It's like the Vanderpump Rose. It's such an obvious dig. You know, you're that petty that your dig even has to be stolen. It's like, even your business has to be like a dig at somebody. It's just so random too. Like all of a sudden out of nowhere, Renner Rose. And they're trying to make it seem like, no, it's something she wants to do all this time. And they're like, remember that trip. I think everyone remembers our trip to Provence, right? They keep citing this trip to revants as if it was like gone iconic up there, Orange County going to Ireland or scary island.

It was one of the worst trips of all time. That was right after. Yeah. Worst. I mean, that was one of the worst of all of the cities. All one of the very worst. That was a bad trip. That was worse than the real house was in New Jersey having to like spend their cash trip in like a parking lot on like in California.

It was worse. That was amazing. It was amazing. It was amazing. Getting an Airbnb in Florida. Okay. That was like, it was so boring. That was truly one of the very, that was the same season that they, that they, like, kicked Vanderpump, not kicked her up, but ran her off the show.

And they had this boring-ass trip where they all wanted to prove how much fun they could be without her. And it was deadly. While making a rosé in the same place that she makes a rosé. It's like, okay, you guys. So then we go to Waylon. Um, oh, Wayland, the dog slash landscaper. As the Chiron tells us, ripping up the grass. Hi, meet your new best friend.

The shot that's going to put you down. I bear you. Get your ass inside. That's what you tell him. Yeah. So, Sutton's like, no. No. Let's see.

You stay. Motherfucker, get off that grass. Motherfucker, Joshua, go ahead of him. So then, of course, her dutiful, you know, gay assistant, Joshua goes running out and has to take care of it. I just love, I love that it's Joshua that has to run after Whalen and not Sudden. It's Sutton's dog, but like she just stands there in the doorway and Josh has to go do all the dirty work.

Of course. Yes, you get an assistant. It also made me think, you know, how close I am to all of our gay brothers and, well, brothers especially, because we're all really the same. Sometimes don't you just feel like a robot? I'm like, am I just programmed like this? Am I like a fleshy Westworld character? And I don't even know.

Because I see Josh, this, we both chase the dog the same. same way. This is how. Like, I think that's going to stop the dog. I really do. I think just going it's going to stop him. And then I'm all upset that it doesn't work. I'm like a slave to, I'm always, I'm like a slave to like a strong woman also. Like, oh, could you go get that? Could you go get wailing? I'm like, sure, anything. There's something, there's like something hardwired where like all of a sudden like as just like obedient gay best friend. Like, of course I'll do it. Yeah. So she's like, hey, it's a mania. All right. Philip. Welcome to television.

So this is Sutton's made-for-TV children episode where we get to see why Sutton's children are never on TV. Yeah. She goes, well, since you asked about my chicken salad, which I think is a funny way to start a scene, because I actually do not believe anyone asked about the chicken salad, but she's just literally nobody asked about your chicken. It's chicken with mayonnaise on it.

Same with Sutton's new podcast. Since you asked about the chicken salad. you'll know how to make it for school so yeah there's not a Melania in this group of kids I'm just going to say that which is fine you know it's like normal kids or whatever get off my TV well it just means that you can eat salad from the supermarket freely

no child butts have been right we know that Philip is not sitting on the sushi at the supermarket a Malania so give me chicken salad you old troll So Sutton's like Yeah he's amazing You asked about chicken salad Here it is

And Porter comes in She's like hi Both their kids are like hi Oh we're making chicken salad Yeah That's good I'm like are you high Are you both stoned

What's going on with your children No they just They're like Hey so I heard that Kyle's kids They got to do a scene Where they went on the yacht

What sort of scene Do we get to do Chicken salad Okay So So, so, Sutton, listen, I'm not going to disagree. I will say, I thought Sutton's chicken salad looked quite good. She's like, you know, the secret to a good chicken salad is a lot of mayonnaise.

See, most people think this looks gross, but it's not. It just sounds gross. I was like, you know what? I support this. It sounded like your garden party. It sounded like people walking around at her garden party. Now, the thing with Sutton, though, is she's making this chicken, this super, mayo-e chicken's out and she's chosen a tiny bowl and like an enormous paddle. It's like she found a canoe and was like,

a sudden, you got to work on your proportions here, okay? Like big bowl, normal, normal device there, okay? I'm a big paddle user. I love a big paddle. Well, but don't use a big paddle in a small bowl. If you're going to mix, you need to give yourself enough space that you can mix properly. Because the whole thing is if you have a small bowl, you're not going to be able to mix well because you're so concerned. about things tumbling off the edge, you're not going to be able to really get in there. You're supposed to use high walls, big walls. Okay, Trump. Okay, Trump's Trump chicken salad maker.

Build that bowl wall. We don't want to take that mayonnaise, all right? So, yeah, you're speaking like a person who doesn't have a dog. Because people with dogs use whatever size bowl we want because the dog picks up everything that you drop off of the short ball. Listen, this is how I choose a bowl. I choose a bowl like I catch a peeler. And then I grab whatever's closest. Like, we don't even know that that's set in sentence dog.

He just grabbed the first animal he saw him, brought it in. All I know is that I, earlier this week, decided to make pasta in a smaller than usual pan because it had high walls. And I thought, you know what, this will be good because it has high walls. So that way I can, when I mix it around, it'll hit the wall and won't fall out. No. There was enough room. and I had to very gingerly stir things around, and it made me mad. And so I did not want to see someone else make that same mistake.

I want to, I want to help others right now. Your goal is just to make it better for people. I just want people to use big bowls, big pants. High balls. High wabbles. So that's this episode of Beverly Hills, everybody. Because you're wondering, why the fuck are they still talking about bowls? because it's this episode of Beverly Hills.

Okay? So just strap in because it's going to be five hours of this. I blame Ernie because I bought a bowl. I bought a ceramic bowl. So engraved. It said Sutton on it. It was so weird. Sutton.

Let's see. So they're talking about how one of the kids had a birthday and they all went skydiving and even Philip went. And everyone's shocked at Philip went. And I'm like, you're shocked at Philip went. Why? And then it cuts to Philip and he's like, yeah, I want skydiving too. Yeah, Philip looks terrified to skydine.

Philip looks terrified to go outside. Has Philip been here this whole time under a table? Philip is continuing the grand tradition of Real Housewives children who have very big expressive mothers. And then they like, they're the counterbalance. Yes, they're terrified. This is what PTSD looks like from growing up. with a crazy mother. I mean, you would think he was in the real house house of Atlanta, to be honest.

My, yeah, yeah, but hi. Hey, Riley, you're home? I'm home. Hey, Riley, are you home? I'm home. Riley, are you home? I'm home. Kayla, have you seen Riley?

No, I was hanging out with Cairo. Oh, Cairo, you're here to. I think she's home. Yeah, I'm here, too. Yeah, I'm going to. Just had a little chicken salad and we're on Sunday nights. So, um, Sutton's like, oh my God, that fridge. We are going to get a new fridge, probably by summer.

Supply chains, I'm sure. So sorry, Porter, Porter, don't close your eyes while you go to the fridge. Porter's like, Mom, it's fine. They're all looking at the fridge and judging that fridge. That fridge looks amazing, by the way, okay? It's a beautiful fridge. I'm sorry. It's a beautiful fridge.

I'm so sorry. to deal with this fridge. I know. Guys, children, please do not judge me by this beautiful $15,000 Bosch fridge. It will be replaced soon enough, but until then, we will have to deal with the indignity of having more than enough space for all of our goods. Here comes one right now. So she's like, so Porter, working at the store, has that made you feel valuable and she's like yeah and phillips like well retail makes you feel valuable and so it's like yes well i mean you wanted to work at chapolte let's it's not funny how chipotle has that pull on children because both of my nieces were when i said when they were younger where do you want to work they're like here

and chipotle but you know what's funny it's like magical to kids you know what's funny when i went to the mall yesterday i went to chippotle for the first time at a very long time and i was like no i'm to go to Chipotle because it's either Chipotle or some weird sandwich weird thing. So I was like, I'm going to do Chipotle. And I was like, man, the people who work at Chipotle, the bullshit that they have to deal with from us, because I was like, I'm going to have a burrito, please. And I'm going to do the pollo assata or whatever it was called. And then she's like, okay.

And I was like, and I'm like, also I'll have some guacamole and geez. And she's like, yeah, well, you can tell him that. I was like, oh man, she must have to do that every two minutes. Like, just give me, just tell me the protein you want. Don't tell me anything more. And I'm giving her everything. I was like, man. Whatever, they could be more specific.

Get out of here what you tell him. How the fuck should I know? You're both standing behind it. Okay, move away from the fucking Pico de Gaio then. I felt bad. I know, I mean, listen, I was the best. The people behind me were even worse, okay? Like I'm saying, I was bad, but people would get even worse.

So, you know. Well, it does, Chipotle does teach you lessons, you know, like Philip. Like more Chipotle teaches you valuable life skills. You know, you learn that guacquick isn't free. And it's not free for anyone ever. It's guacamole and Chipotle is the great human equalizer, okay? It's not. You're all going to pay for it.

And then you're all going to sit there and wonder, was this worth the $2? Was this, was it really worth it? They marked that shit up. They marked that shit up. My burrito, when everything was said and done, because I got premium chicken apparently, and because I got that guacamole, my burrito with the soda was $17. And I'm like, premium chicken. What the fuck is that?

Well, no, that was the- Was it like college-educated chicken? They have-what kind of chicken was it? They have like a new chicken at Chipotle. Like, STD-tested chicken? What fuck makes that chicken so special? Well, honestly, because it was like, oh, it's cooked with lime and chilies, whatever. Honestly, it was delicious.

Like, I don't think I'm ever not going to get it. I think it's worth it. So what's the other kind? Trash chicken? It is. Yes. That's terrible. Now it's trash chicken. Now we've gone, we have like, we have trash chick.

We have Teddy Melon Camp chicken now. And I don't think I can go back. Hi, I'm Trash chicken. Hi, I'm Trash chicken. I'm Trash chicken. I have to look up. I'm going to, okay, while you talk, I'm going to look up the name of this premium chicken because it was actually so good.

But it made my burrito expensive, y'all. Well, that's what you get with your fancy chicken. Oh, apparently. So Set & Tell says Philip was going to join the army, but, um, he, He's been so comfortable and that's why he wants to go, like, make him feel like a real man or something. And so she was like, oh, you're too comfortable? Then I'll make you uncomfortable. So I sent him to Georgia in 105-degree weather and he had to get a job delivering vending machine coax at 5 a.m. in the morning.

And so I picked him up and he said, I'll go to college now, mother. I like, I was actually pretty impressed that she, oh, by way, it's Pollo Asato. That's the new. That's the new. I recommend it to everyone, but just no, you're going to be paying $45 for your we know. But I was impressed that sudden sent her kid down to Georgia to be a vending machine like stocker. I was like that was that's I was not I would not expect that from her. I thought she'd be like so I decided to send him to the minds. I made him an intern at ABT. He had to fetch coffee

for all the ballerinas. I was like oh real tough. But I like that you keep them grounded by just doing one little thing. You know, it's like, she said she didn't want to wear a jacket. So I put her in freezing weather for five seconds and pulled her back in. She said, can I have a jacket now? Listen, that's as long as it takes.

Yeah, whatever works. He won't be ordering trash chicken anymore. I'll tell you that much. If you want to, if you want to, if you. So let's move on. Yeah, I can't.

Chicken scene. I don't know why we're still in it. I've really extended it. I'm embarrassed. We're still here, honest. I have really, really leaned into all the tangents on this scene. I apologize, okay? So Grace and Doreet.

Oh, Garcel and Doreet. I write it as Garce. So Garcel and Doree go to dinner, which is weird. And so Garcel's like, are we hugging? And Dorey's like, I just hate the thought to not hugging. I just hope we never get to that place. Now, you know, there's some people I know who say, I'm just never going to hug again.

After COVID, never gonna hug again. She better get her monkeypox vaccine. That's what I gotta say. So, I think they said they're never gonna hug PK again, okay? They just said, look, Doree, please stop telling me to go hug Pek. I'm never gonna hug Pek again, okay? Last time I walked off with like a little bit of butterfinger right here on my right breast. And then like a face print of like gray makeup.

base foundation right here on my shoulder. Okay? I'm never hugging Beacon again. So keep that fucker away from me. So then Garcell basically says that, you know, Blasher they had some conflict, but it's all awash now. So then, Oh, what was that conflict?

Can we have a, can we have a flashback? Because I certainly don't remember what it is. Chee! I feel like you're pooking at me. Pooking at me. There's Jabs. Jabs. There's Jabs.

little jobs Jabs. Almost like Boolean. It's like bullying. Chabs. Okay, little bullying chabs. You know, it's almost like you

go after me. It's like you go whichever way the wind blows. And I know which way the wind is blown because I've got the most chic wind chimes of all time. So then they order their drinks. And Doreet's like, I'll have a vodka on three quarters of a cup of ice

with three lemon squeezed. Wait for it. Wait for it. Carcassette! Carcassette! Imagine if she worked at a morgue. Just like piles of bodies. Why there are all these bodies on the floor?

Well, you said carcass out, ma'am. I was all drinking a martini. I was just trying to have a little afternoon martini before we get back to the cadavers. Ow. Oh. Sorry, laugh too hard. Calcus out.

Carcassout. So, you know, there is a very popular board game called Carcassan. So it's like she has the opposite board game, Carcass out. Is it about dressing lemons? No, because there's a town in France called Carcasson. That's what it's Carcasson. Oh, Carcasson. Oh, Carcasson.

So Garcels is doing the audio portion of her book, and she's now telling stories that she never thought. should be telling. Like this one. Well, that is the reason I posed for Playboy. Okay. If you want to know the beginning of that sentence, you will buy the book. Garcel by Garcel. Another story.

And that is why I'll never be able to go back to trash chicken. For the full story, download my book. Garcel, Grace Garcel. Garcel. So she's like, it's really scary telling people things. And it's like, well, not many people have the, forgive the cajones. Forgive me for saying this word, but the cajones to put it out there. Not people do.

She's turning on to Yoda. So then, and then Garcel's like, well, I did have an experience with Bill Cosby that wasn't very good. Well, I know it's exciting and I know it's worrying. But you did it. You did it. And she's like, well, you know, there were things I thought I had peace around him. But then the book, I wrote them all down and the book said, no, it's haunting you. Also, every time I finish a page, I just hear this little voice inside my head saying,

Carcassette! I'm literally haunted by our carcass. That is out. So Garstel's like, well, I've been meaning to talk. talk to you. I read about Pke's D-Y and Derey's like, Alleged Dui,

alleged Dui. I said, listen, everyone suffers from a little on wee, and then he's pulled over for Dui. I said, police officer, listen, my accent is from all over the world. It doesn't mean they have reason to pull over, Piqui. Gee,

allegedly, it was a D-Y, but they never booked him. They never processed him. And when he got to the station, he was under the limit. And then I said, and then he said, I'm sorry, but you have to get home somehow, some way. And so Garsell's like, they did.

Turns out the first time they were measuring blood sugar alcohols, and he had just had a Captain Crunch peanut butter sandwich. I said, Piquet, you should never have Captain Crunch and Drive. I'd kill him if he hadn't already explicitly stated that in his will he is to be buried in

pit of crunched berries. He said he can only be buried if it's buried style. I said, listen here, Piquet, I've had enough of your own wee. Woo, woo, woo, pulled over, booking. Unfortunately, they were using the wrong breathalyzer, the one that tests the amount of pringles in your blood, so naturally he was very high. But when they got back to the station, everything was normal. He was driving under the influence, all right, of Cheeto poofs.

Well, they asked him to recite the alphabet backwards And unfortunately he spelled out P-R-I-N-G-L-E-S Natural mistake Well, thankfully the police took him home And they were pretty good-natured about it They showed up to the door And Officer Cropke said,

Listen here, don't ever let that man hug me again So good to hug him again So, yeah, Garcell's like, Wow, well, that would never happen to Moll. world because anyone who's black, I mean, that would never happen ever. So did they stop and get a mistake too, which is kind of what we said last week. Yeah. Like, wow, that's a great police department when you're rich.

Everybody else I know is terrified of the LAPD, okay? The rest of us, they pull over and like hold their guns to their side and look at you like, oh, but you're rich. They're like, hey, would you like to stop and grab something? You're cold? Hey, you know what? There's a snuggy store up ahead. You know, it's like a blanket, it's like a blanket, but it's also something to snuggle with.

Come on. Well, don't forget, Kyle becomes very scared when she sees a police officer. So, like, you know, she's just like us. So then, um, uh, so now they're talking about going to Renna's wine tasting. Um, and they're just like wondering if Erica's gonna have wine and Garcels, Garcelle, uh, says that she saw Erica the night before and Erica admitted that she should not, she can't be drinking because of her medication. And, uh, she's like, and she, I mean, did she tell you that she fell and hit her head

and did she get a do why so yes well that's what I've heard I mean she's got to figure it out but you know she did say something interesting she said that being Sutton's friend is a liability to me

what does she mean by that well by being friends with her I guess it's detrimental to me and so Garcell says that like maybe Erica was trying to give me a compliment that they would like her like Garcel more if she weren't so close to Sudden, but it's not really a compliment because it means that like Garcel can't handle herself on her own and that Sun's going to take her down, et cetera. So she's like, if she basically took it as a backhanded compliment. And Doreet's like, well, I think if your friend falls, you're not really a Thelman Louise type, are you? Like if your friend falls off the cliff, you take a dive with them. You're not Thelman Louise. I see you more as a rocky and bully. Winkle. Like bully winkle.

Yeah, I mean, you're not the type that'd go over the cliff, but you'd give someone something to help them, like maybe the most chic rope you've ever seen before in your life from Jamie La Cateus. Maybe it'd offer them a wonderful police officer who'd help lower a snuggy to pull them back up the mountain.

So then we go over to Erica's house, her tiny little chef. and she's there with Mike. Mikey's making coffee for the group. Jack, the publicist, is there. Laya. Now, I like that Erica is saying that Sutton is like a liability for Garcelle.

I'm like, Sondon, you, I mean, Erica, you literally have a friend named Laya. Like, you're already, like, halfway there with a liability, basically. I mean, Laya does not seem like a liability, but I'm just saying, like... Let's get the liar. Liar, Bill, Eddie. Anyone want tea? Who's using my espresso machine that you guys buy for, me? Wow, Erica, really?

You're having your employees buy you a coffee machine? Come on, I know you've had a rough time, but that's too much. And then they have to make it for her. I guess they are employees, so, but they're also friends, allegedly. So, Mikey's like, okay. We need to have a team catch-up on. pretty mess hair, okay? So, like, we have to get the word of mouth going.

We need to get it out to, like, publicist and everything. And Erica starts doing her PSA. She's like, not PSA, but her, like, her pay, like, you know, her infomercial. She's like, listen, everyone's always adding hair in. Every show that you do going out on a date. Hair! It's what makes the world go round. Am I right, everyone?

Thank you. You ever seen somebody shopping into Target without hair? My point is made. Hair. They got a musical based on hair. Got hair? Hey, you got a musical called hair. You can't do hair without hair, am I right, everyone?

Hair. I want to do billboards that say, got hair, and then right above your lip, we could put a mustache made out of. Get this. Hair. So that is what mustache is made up. Well, milk then.

Fuck it. Let's just do milk or something. It may not look like hair, but everybody will say, Hey, that bitch looks fucked up. I'm going to get a wig. Hey, I'm in my car without hair on. I got an idea. Okay, we'll make a tree.

And in the tree, there are a bunch of elves. And the elves make hair. Those are the Kibler elves. I think we need to choose a different campaign. So, Mike, he's like, speaking of, didn't speaking of mates or whatever. He makes a very awkward. transition. Didn't you say someone's husband has the perfect candidate for you? And she's like, well, I don't know if it's perfect a lot, but Maritio did say that he knows someone with breathing

with a pin number for a Wells Fargo account. Yeah, well, there's this guy I know. He's like an NFL player and he's really great. He's very funny. He had some legal issues around 94. He did have like a low speed thing on the 405. but he loves golfing, totally exonerated. He's wonderful. I live from Florida now, and someday he'll find out he'll killed his wife. So I don't know. I think that you guys might be a great match.

I don't know. Wow. Devastating. Mwa. I'd like to welcome Camille back for this lovely flashback and a show of flashbacks. I am so intrigued to know who Maricio was trying to set Eric. up with NFL player who's also a gold medalist. I don't know.

I don't know. That's not my world. Yeah, that's not my world. I don't get it. You know, I even see a box of weenies, and I'm like, stop bullying me. Fuck you. So Jack is like, well, Eric was like, I just need to get some dick. And Jack tells her, you just need to go through your DMs.

I mean, I'm sure there's dick in there. Lots of heterosexual dick looking for you, Eric. I'm sure. And your DMs. And Eric is like, well, I don't know. someone to do that for me. You'd be perfect, Jack. What don't you do? And she's like, you know what? Like, the texting game, you know, I told you, right, that I texted the wrong person, the wrong thing, right? I thanked, I said, I thanked him for some good dick. By the way, did I tell you guys, that's today's phrase,

good dick, because I'm going to say it everywhere I can. So I was thanking him for some good dick, and he's like, what are you talking about? I was trying to give you some good dick, that is. You ever heard of that phrase? Good dick. It's what kids. said, so I'm saying, good dick. I'm looking for some good dick. It's just so cringe. So, Mike's like, Max, she's like,

Mikey's like, okay, next cue. You've already said the good dick thing five times. Let's move on to the next cue. And so Erica goes, okay, so get into this. I decided to be a part-time number of my drinks. Jack is like,

you are really pushing the limits of my ability to Are he just like a yes man right now? Like, are you sure you want to do this? Well, I was having an intimate moment with this person, and he said you'd be a great Dominotrix, and I said you'd be great at selling Tom shares in the Cayman Islands. Then we fucked a lot. He moved right into Daddy's office.

Miss your army, miss your army, hammer. Give me a call. Not that I'm going to say his name here on camera. Hey, is they don't ever dabble? with cannibalism. I don't know. Someone put it in my head recently. I thought I'd...

Jack, what about you? Listen, I'm not going to say much about this mystery person who's the neighbor named Army Hammond that lives right down the street from him. And I sent a DM and said, I want to fuck you, Army. But I will say this. He does tickle the ribs. Listen, I'm not going to use his name.

So let's just call him Navy Mallet. Okay? Listen, he gets kind of kinky and I like it. Jack, where you go, Jack? He's like, I'm going. back to representing Gretchen Rossi. I can't deal with this anymore. Commercials. Here comes one right now. I love the idea of Army Hammer and Erica Jane just being fucked.

Like living on the same street and getting canceled at the same time and fucking like, oh my God, now I was canceled. What are we going to do? I can be a dominatrix. My dad does own some time shares. Fuck, yeah. What's doing? They are literally turning into an Elmore Leonard novel. Like I actually Like this would be something I'd be totally down with like Armie Hammer And Erica Jane having some weird con

Down on the Cayman Islands Where he's like selling like selling time shares She goes in as a dominatrix And they're robbing the people And I'm like actually yes I would love to see this scheme play out Not private dick by Elmore Leonard So

So Erica's like Yeah I could be a dominatrix Because I'm bossly I like to admit us a little bit of pain for pleasure. I also like latex. You want to play cue me and Berlin dress on latex. No, not, okay, not this time. All right, don't understand your logic of when you play the flashbacks, but that's okay.

But I do like costumes. And I know there are people that like that as well. And I don't want to, I don't want anyone stealing any trademarks. Hey, call our trademark lawyer. We need to make sure we trademark the nothing I just said. Pretty much. Mass, Dominatrix, Mass. It's pretty. I'm like, that name, Pretty Mess, literally doesn't work for any business that you've come up with so far.

It's Pretty Mess. I didn't want to hear it. You need a different day. Pretty Mess does not work for hair. And it certainly does not work for a dominatrix, okay? How about we call it, Welcome to the Dungeon. Candy Burris is like, you think you're the first one to do a dungeon thing on Bravo? So Eric is like, uh, who knows narcissistic old a rich man better than, Who knows that line? Oh, but a little boy. So, I mean, wow.

Erica's downfall is much like her success. Isn't it crazy? It's just lower rent. I guess it's like when you stop being like a professional theater actor, you're still playing Willie Lohman is just, you know, on a stage where people are eating, you know, grilled salmon right in front of you instead of on board. Well, listen, her descent,

Her descent is just like her assent. Pretty much uninteresting. So then didn't really, wasn't that interesting. The stories about her rising up have not been that interesting. The stories like her success was never really that interesting and ever downfall. The fashions are even just as tacky and terrible. They just cost a lot less, you know. It's not pretty amazed at how she's hanging on here.

Gotta give credit where credit is due. Do not give her credit. Okay. You will never get it. paid. So don't give her credit. I just mean like the figurative credit. Listen, I'm telling you, lean into the small-time crook lifestyle with Army Hammer. Just do it down on the Cayman Islands. I'm down for it. I'm down for it. She just, she refuses to lean into the things that she needs to lean into. You know, that's all. She just needs to lean into the right

things and then I'll be 100% behind her. So now, um, Rina and Sutton go to a restaurant called Lumiere, which I felt like was a passive aggressive dig at Asher a little bit. Just like the whole Beauty of the Beast thing. It's like, wow. Oh. Not even going to chip. So, so Sutton meets up and she's like, I am so congested. I think it's

because I've been snorting chicken salad for three days if you know what I mean, Lisa. And she's like, Yeah. Hi, Sutton. I'll have a steak-free medium-mo. Oh, and a glass of rosé. I'm going to have my own rosé waiter. Okay. Renate rosé, don't have it. You will soon.

son does some sun starts off in a very passive aggressive place she goes i'm gonna order some bread and rana just looks at her like oh you bitch force him to have bread on camera she's like you eat bread don't you she goes i you know i do eat bread i never pass up a piece of bread even though i've been told to have a piece of bread once in a while roll the clip we're doing it this time we got we got a clip ready to go remember that one on dance da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da so we see the clip of yeah maybe you see some bread sometimes please so maybe you can remember things so um they're talking about wine and uh wrote the renna rose that's coming up on something's like i want to see the bottle you know i don't know why you don't consult with me and when it goes because i don't have to that let me laugh to make it sound

like that was a joke and then but i do have very good taste she was I know but I do you too, so I don't need to ask you things. Ha ha ha ha ha. And Sutton's like, well, okay, well, you know, I just always love when we get together and have lunch. You are a motherfucker. I'm sorry, it just comes out now, random time. But I do love seeing you.

I live having lunch with you. And when I's like, oh my God, you are always saying that every time you say that. Every single time. She goes, well, I do. And people say, you know. Why, why do you like Renna so much? And I say, because I do, I like her. And Renna's like, yeah, I know.

People think I'm such a fucking bitch. Really? People are so scared of me. Son goes, can we get Garcel in here with her foot locker dress? I just need someone in the proper attire to say, ma'am, the shoe fits. Okay, my work here is done. I'll take my footlucker dress and leave.

So Sun's like, I'm not scared of you, motherfucker. And then Renna's like, you are times, you are. Just that one time. And so then we got a flashback of TableGate earlier this season. And Renna's like, you know, I don't want to hold on to this. I don't want to carry it. There are times when you're infuriating. And it makes me mad when I think about it.

And it makes me want to fricking strangle you. There are those times. I would say those are all. the time, in fact. I think it's happening right this moment. But I'll be honest about that. And at the end of the day, it's been a while, and it was silly. And you know what? You shouldn't have done it. And you know

what? You did say you were sorry. And you know what? I have to move on. And you know what? I am moving on. And you know what? We laughed the other day. And you know what? We went to Kathy's house. And I guess I was talking a shit about you. And you know what? Let's roll the clip. Let's roll the clip. Let's roll the clip.

You know what? I think I'm going to keep torturing, setting over it, because I just love to. I love to torture Sutton. So we cut back and she's like, yeah, it is kind of fun. It's fun for me to torture you. And Sutton's like, okay, well, at least you know I can take it, not guess. Okay. My son does deliver coax at five in the morning to vending machine. So I'm one tough bitch. Tough bitch with tough children who eat tough chicken salad. So then Renna's like, I'm like a pussy cat. And Sutton goes, hmm, you're more like the good.

Granch. Wait, wait, but listen, because the Grinch's heart gets bigger and bigger and bigger, okay? And Renna's like, my heart is big. I just happen to have a very big mouth on top of big heart. These two hate each other. They hate each other and it's the most awkward scene. I guess they made them have lunch. I'm not really sure why they're having lunch or why Renna's bringing up the Elton John thing when it was kind of proven that she was full of shit in the first place. I mean, even with all the receipts she posted, I was like, this is iffy at best. Why are you bringing this up again? Why?

Like, it doesn't really make you look good to bring this up again. It doesn't make you look terrible. It's a petty thing, but I don't know. This is when they were like, Renna, you need to do something. Get off the bench. And she's like, okay, out and shot, you're a bitch. So, then we go to Eric. Everybody's getting

glammed for this rosé party, and Sutton is telling her friend employees. Like, I had lunch with Lisa. And, you no, I like Lisa. And they're all like, why? She goes, yeah, I told them. Everyone asked me why.

Everyone, everyone asked me why. So, stop me in there. And then Diana, Doreet's Faceatming with Diana, and Doreet's like, Hello, beauty. And Diana is still in isolation. And she's like, no, it's almost hilarious, how much we have done the past two years to avoid COVID. And it took us down. And now there's no escape at it.

Yeah, I mean, I hid two years on deserted island. I just stood it front door saying, Jeffrey, open. Open, Jeffrey, open. Glein, answer your text to Sissis. You know, I was on Desert Island for so long avoiding COVID, but, you know, after a while, you can only listen to Asher, not hit the high note on Oh Holy Night,

that before you say, give me the disease already. So Erica's driving and talking to Kyle on the phone. I thought we were going to have a Kyle free episode, but we were close. Close. But alas, no cigar. So Kyle's here, and she's talking about quarantine. But she did adopt a new puppy. I'll stop.

Not to be confused with Fofi or any of other Lisa's dogs. Yeah, I just felt for the dog. like you're too cute for this. You're too cute. So then blah, blah, small talk, small talk. So Crystal and Sutton are talking on the phone because Crystal's also sick. And Sutton's like, sick, hi, sickie.

Well, I thought I'd swing by and pick you up. I mean, I do keep offering to bring you soup. I just want that noted next year when I'm alone on Christmas wondering where the hell you are when you're not by my side. And Crystal's like, well, I gained five pounds. I guess, who cares? She goes, I'm just lying here and eat. Eating, which by the way, that was my entire COVID experience.

I think I gained seven pounds. I just was, oh, shut up. That's my entire fucking adulthood. I'm so sick of listening to people with their COVID, their COVID nightmare. It's like, all I did was stay in bed and eat. I'm like, well, true, though. I hate like a lot of shit. So I'm telling you, I went to the mall yesterday.

I saw myself in mirrors and I'm just, I'm working through that right now. So a sudden is like, listen, just take care of yourself. That's all you can do. And I will give you a full update. goodbye motherfucker So Oh wait I just wanted to say one more thing

I like Lisa Rina Why I just love hearing that Why Makes me laugh every time All right thanks thought crystal Hi you know what Hey driver

I like Lisa Rina Could you put on some music What I wasn't expecting Annie Lennox But that'll do So Lisa and Harry You're setting up

The only place you're allowed to be in Lisa Rinnon his house is outside. Yeah, yeah. Or that kitchen. The inside must be missing, like, walls and, like, I imagine the ceiling is falling in. I don't know what the fuck is going on. If the rats have just taken over and now they're actually walking around, talking to each

other in the other rooms, I don't know. But we're only seeing the kitchen and the outside. I'll tell you what happened. Lisa did not finish tooth chopping her pillows. She's like, they can't come in here. I've got a pillow that looks like a square. Okay. I can only chop so many pillows.

So Lisa is like blowing the, you know, the leaf blower stuff all over the patio. And she's like, I'm so good at blowing. Ha ha! I could blow it all day long. And Sheree, that's Sheree's cue to make some blowjob jokes. So Sheree comes in. Now, Sheree's in some trouble. Do you know about this stuff?

No, I did not hear about this. What happened? I don't know. Sheree has, I guess, an online store where she's been selling counterfeit shit from like Alibaba. She's ordering it off Alibaba and selling it on her store. And a lot of them are obvious knockoff, so I don't think she's trying to pass off as real, like Versace or whatever. But then some of them are big shirts. Yeah, but some of them are like big Versace earrings that say Versace all the way around.

But yeah, so she's in trouble. And then people were posting on her Instagram. They were posting screenshots of her Instagram where she was posting like, I believe in blessings and sending people blessings. here's my Venmo to send me blessings. Good for you, Cherie. That's good for you because if you're going to be on Bravo and not be a grifter, that's not going to work out. So thank you for rising to the challenge.

Thank you. Yeah, everybody's been very like, oh my God, Sherry, Queen, next housewife, give her full time. And I don't dislike her. I don't like her really or dislike her because she hasn't done anything. She hasn't done anything. I'm sorry. She's done nothing to really deserve that.

praise, but she hasn't really done anything to deserve my ire either. So I'm just kind of waiting and seeing, you know? I'm like optimistic, but I haven't seen that level where I'm like, yes, oh my God, living queen. But this definitely is a good mark on her resume. Yeah. Like I love some shadiness. Yeah, Sheree, I mean, she seems nice. She's nice, but she doesn't really, she hasn't added anything. She hasn't been, she just sort of like chirps in the background and is sort of like, uh, It's like nice, you know. She just, she, she is the, she is the thing that allows the main cast member to move their story forward. You know, it's like, Cherie, did I tell you about the Pingles?

No, tell me more. Okay, let me tell you more. It's like, okay, you're a lot. Shari is there to help you, help the dialogue go forward, you know? Yeah. So, uh, everybody starts coming over, Sutton's in pink pants and when it's like, leather pants audience leather pants like this is this is shiny denim or something it's wax denim waxed wax wax wax wax wax wax wax waxed um and let's see terena's like this is three years in the making

three years plus a 70-something year old vander pump I think she starts clapping she starts doing her bobbly clap she's like so then erika shows up and she's like I dress up like a human rose, a rose with hair. Every flower needs hair. Get your flower's hair, everybody. Everybody's getting hair. Rose-A's getting hair. And so she orders a camomile to drink, which, you know, will last about five minutes. Herica has like Ronnie willpower. So I'm like, enjoy that camomile appetizer before you're a drunk-ass entree, you know. So they're making small talk. and Sheree is like, you know, well, listen, Erica, it'll warm you up. You can have some tequila.

And she goes, oh, that's off tequila. Last time I saw you, last time I saw you. And Sheree is like, what did I do? She says, no, no, no, you were just saying to witness me because I'm not supposed to be drinking all my medications, but I have been. She gets in her Erica's serious voice. This is the after school Erica special. Erica could be an alcoholic.

Talk to you. mother about this if you've got any problems with it. I got it. I'm back. You'll never know when I'm going to go running through a glass window because of all the drinking and the drugs I've been doing. I think I was Helen Hunt in an after-school special, but that's okay. You could do it too. So, uh, Doreet's like, well, I witnessed what Erika was talking about the other night, and it's going to make me think after talking to Garsell.

do I need to keep an eye on Ike? Hmm. We're all counting on you, Doree. Well, keep an eye on P-K first. So Garcel is... Yeah, no kidding. Your husband, who was just caught with the driving under the influence of, you know, fucking Pringle, chocolate-covered Pringles, could probably use your eye a little more.

You can't spell, do I keep an eye without DUI? So... It's almost sounds the same because it's a D for do and then the U for a do and then the I for I see it works. So Garc-U-U-I keeping the eye. We can have to source that one out to boy, George, to fix out those lyrics. So Garcel, Garcel arrives in a giant, it's not giant, but a big yellow frock that says Belonziaga all over it. And so it's like, Garcel, who makes your sweater? joke, everyone. That was a joke.

Rina, stop staring at me that way. It was a joke, you small-hearted Grinch face. Okay? It was a joke. Well, aren't you making fun of me, labor? Wait a second. I feel like, remember some bully winkling. So, Harry comes out, and he's like, hey, everybody, hot zone, hot zone here.

Hey, welcome to the hot zone. And he's fist bumping. And he's like, whoa, Erica, I don't even want to fist bump you. What is that on your wrist or on your finger and she's like, it's my panther, sparkly, sparkly. I'll tell you who's not going to get any of this. Anyone who's name rhymes with idos or forfeans.

Tell me that much, motherfucker. All right. I got this from someone because they said that they were going to give me some good dick. That's my phrase, everyone. So Harry Hamlin's like, well, everyone, here's the tea made with anthrax, the hot zone. Thank you. So, Reyes, like, say, well, Harry and I did all of this because everyone has COVID. That's right.

We had to make the ultimate sacrifice and create a chakotery board on our own. Thank you. Thank you so much. I did the blowing. I'm so good at blowing. And, Doree, it's like, I know we've read the book. And by read the book, I mean, we thought that's about a book on television that she claimed to have right with your vagina. I might have gotten details of that incorrect.

P.K. filled me in. I wrote a book. The book had to get some good dick. Yeah. So, Sheree, is like, well, let me ask you something, Harry. If you had to write a Yelp review of Lisa's blow jobs, give us a one to five. And Erica's like, well, okay, on a scale of one to five, how are the blow jobs? They're hairy.

And he's like, well, I couldn't respond to that because I would give it a 10. Welcome to the Hot Zone. Welcome to the mother effing hot zone. Wow. Tom Broca's horny. Hey, let's talk about Diana's party. Okay. I had asked if, let's know, Crystal, that is.

Let's talk about Crystal at Diana's party. I'd ask Crystal if she'd ever seen professional help. Well, actually, technically. I said, you should use laxatives. It's another way of purging your system. But I also, what I meant to say was, have you ever seen professional help? And she said, no. I said, listen, what are you going to try and eat the chicken tender,

believe it, bitch? Am I right, everybody? I'm like, whoa, guys, are we really going to go here in this episode right now? Yeah. We don't need to go here, okay? And Doreet's like, well, we just recently went to Craigs. Oh, he's got a big old dick, now that's a good dick. The restaurant, I've never been there.

Do they have hair there? Well, did anyone have hair there? Did you know someone I can contact about bringing hair to Craigs? Well, I sat mixed to Crystal, and she spent over an hour, and she said she's okay, but she's vomiting every day. I was like, oh, my God, you guys. I'm sure she really loved you just like broadcasting that to the group and on television. God, it just says it just like that. And let me tell you something, if it were a sudden who had said that, it would be scenes of Kyle being like,

I just don't think that's like right. She just says that. Like, that should be private. That's just not right. But Dorit just blabs it out. And it's like, okay, cool. Oh, my God. And Jarete's like, well, Sheree's like, you mean like self-induced?

And Sutton goes, well, she didn't tell me about that. Also, Sutton is wearing a blouse with not a pussy bow. I don't know what you call it. It looks like. the waddle of like probably a person five times set in size. It's just like this flesh toned crazy waddle coming out of her neck. And it makes it very hard to concentrate. It is a lot.

It was a lot of ruffle, you know. So Doreet is like, well, clearly if she's talking about it, it's a sign that she really needs help. So then Rino talked about how like when her daughter went through it, they immediately got her into therapy. You know, and they don't understand why Crystal's not getting into therapy. because like everyone and the family and the husband seems to know about it. It's not like it's a secret. So it's like, I think it's to me, if the conversation feels a little gross only because it feels like it's going to be weaponized in some way.

That's why I don't like about it, you know? And also because- It's extremely gross. Yes, I agree. And it's also a weird Erica Renna team up moment, right? It's like, why are you getting help? You're talking about it. Yeah, you're talking about it.

I mean, you're posting it on Instagram. Yeah, it's the great. Come on. Wow. Yeah, I just feel like, I think also there's the sense that if one of these women were going through a similar challenge and it was just sort of brought up casually on television in front of the group, like if one of them had confined it off camera and the other one and then they just like just said it in front of the group, you know, I don't think they would

like that. I think they would actually be angry. I think that Rinna, for sure, would, like, lose her shit. They would all go mad. And so they just sort of did that to Crystal. I kind of felt like, man, I just felt like it was shitty. Oh, there's more. Don't worry.

There's more hypocrisy where that came from. So Doreen's like, well, you know, I'm a new friend of Crystal. But when she told me some of those things, I was shushugda. And when it's like, well, you can't get better unless you get help. And that is the truth. And Sutton's like, okay, well, maybe she's getting help. We don't know. And she says she doesn't like when they're talking about someone like that.

and they're not here listening to them. It feels gross. So Sutton and Garcel are both like, well, we'll talk to her about it, right? So Sutton's like, well, I don't know about this eating disorder, but, you know, we haven't talked about it one on one. I just want to stay out of it, you know, because I just don't, I don't want to be implicated in someone else's eating disorder, you know, and I haven't called my attorney yet. So I'm just going to stay over here.

Yeah. So now everyone moves to a different table for wine tasting. and there's like a whole wine tasting spiel and they're like, this is a continuation of the France trip that we took. Iconic, wonderful France trip. Now, okay, here is my tip for Real Housewives or really anyone on Bravo. Like, you can't just suddenly say in one episode,

oh, I love wine, here's my wine, if you have no track record of drinking wine all the time. It just doesn't work. I'm sorry. Stick with the rent of beauty. That was the thing you launched. But you can't do the thing where you just out of nowhere like, oh yeah, I love wine. Here's wine.

Yeah, this is like this with her. This is just her revenge wine, you know? It's like, come on. Stop acting like you were in Provence mixing your own wine, okay? You're slapping your label on somebody else's bullshit. Anyway, Renna Beauty is doing well. I mean, I read that just got into the Amazon. So, you know, I believe that.

I don't know. I just don't like the petty rosé. It's stupid. You know, it's like a stupid thing. You won, okay? you already won that one. So Garcel spills on Sutton's outfit, and they all crack up, and they're basically just getting drunk. And they all agree that they like the rosé, but that the brute needs more work.

Which is their way of saying the brute sucks, by the way. Brut's almost there. It's almost there. It's almost, I'm like, it sucks. That's what that means. And Beverly Hills speak, the brute sucks. Yes. So Garcel asked for food.

She's like, you're going to feed us, right? She goes, oh, pizza and charcutory. Really? Pizza and charcutory? Make an app right here. You're selling your wine. So, Sheree is like, oh, the pizzas made? Did Harry make the tomato sauce? And Garcell's like, of course he did.

Have you had his sauce? If you did, I hope you sent a five-page fucking thank-you note the next day. So then Dorita's like, she turns to Garcel's like, listen, G. No, you, G, that's me being short. for Garcel this time. I didn't have I didn't know Piffonies. I have a friend and he's into you. He's been asking me for the past couple of years that he would love to

meet you and he thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world and he would love to chain you to his radiator and experiment with a lady for the first time in his life. Would you be interested in him? Well, he's been asking for a long time but I didn't want to put you together because your initials are already the same. He's boy George

and you're bully. Gee! Do you believe in karma and or chameleons? And Renna, by the way, is just repeating everything Doreet says. She's like, go say, listen, I have a friend. She has a friend. And he's really into you. He's so into you. He's really, really into you.

Really, really into you. He's been asking about a couple of years. A couple of years he's been asking. He's been asking. Smodding. And so, um, Doree says he's really hands. them so something goes, how big is his head?

And Eric goes, how big is his wallet? Okay, let's go out down to brass tax. Could he give you some pretty good dick? Yeah. Well, this is not a man on the plow just looking to get lead. And Erica's like, Bo, I am.

Whyn't this about me? Yeah. What the fuck? We're talking about ourselves getting some dick. Where's my dick delivery? Hey, what am I paying for Amazon prime dick? I know. I know.

Way to take it away from Garcell. She's like, yeah, I already had a big head last night. I got a lot down. Yeah, I've been having a lot of sex. I'm not having a lot of sex. Or as the gays say, I should say, I've got some pretty good dick. Yeah.

And's true. He's like, so it's just service. It's not dating. Like, he's providing the service. And I'm providing one bad. Fuck yeah, as As Asher would sing. My pussy got around the old bar. Oh, right there.

Doreen's like, so, Erika, you're drinking. She's like, yeah, fucking drinking, you sure am. She's like, but I thought you weren't drinking anymore. Well, I can drink now, because once you say camomile to you, it means you're sober, okay? So, um, so Doreta's like, she's like, you know, I feel torn about, you know, asking Eric if she wants to drink or not because I don't know. Do I let... This is when Dewey does her Scales of Justice thing that she does in her confessions a lot, you know,

where she puts her hands out and goes up and down. She goes, I mean, I wanted to let loose, but also, you know, should I be worried? Is she going to get a Dewey? I don't know. Scales of justice. By the way, there is intense drilling behind me right now. apologize to everyone. I think we're just going to annoy the hell lot of people today, and that's just how it's going to be. Because I have to, because my back hurts, I have to use this chair with the back support in it because it actually helps. And listen, it's like constant creek. I've changed to another chair without the creek, but had to use the creak of today. And, you know, with the bold talk, guys, I'm sorry. You get what you get. Okay, we show up and what comes out, comes out. Listen, that's not drilling and creaking. That's me getting some good dick. Yeah. Dick, oh, yeah.

Hey, you know what? I need a chair with some good art support for good dip. Yay! So they all move different positions now. Now, Sheree is talking to Renna and Sutton over in one area, and Erica and Garcel go to another. So Sheree's like, Lisa, you are very nurturing, Lisa.

Lisa, I just didn't know you were so nurturing. And she was like, oh, Really? Ha ha. Because everyone thinks I'm a fucking bitch. It's funny. I feel like Lisa wants to be known as a fucking bitch. So she's starting to say, everyone thinks I'm a fucking bitch.

But like, I don't know. I mean, I don't, I guess, do people think that Renna's like a fucking bitch? I feel like people just think that Renna is just like, Renna. She just sort of says other people. She's like, she takes on the personalities of other people. And so I think that she's like really excited to be like a badass bitch like Erica is trying to be. And now she's like, everyone thinks I'm a bitch. I'm such a, people think I'm not a bitch.

Because I'm like, such a bitch. Here's a cookie. Everyone enjoy a cookie. So I think she's talking about the audience. Everyone thinks she's such a fucking bitch because the audience definitely does. But on the show, she doesn't really ever have any problems with people. I mean, she did with Kim, but that was her coming straight for Kim. Kim wasn't just like, you know, I think she's a bitch right off the bat.

That was Lisa, like trying and trying. to go for something with Kim, right? Yeah. On the show, she doesn't seem to have that many issues that she doesn't create herself. But off the, I think she gets defensive of stuff that's happening on Instagram. Yeah, that must be what of those.

Because Instagram is a completely different Lisa. I mean, that's a different story. She goes nuts. I mean, she's had like five scandals already this season on Instagram that you'll never see her hear about on the show, you know? Yeah. Well, Shari, she gave Sharia cookies,

so Shari loves her. And then Linaa loves that Shari loves her. They're all very happy. So then we go to Erica and Garcell. And Garcell's like, well, Erica, now I love when we had drinks. I was a little taken aback by the whole Sutton is a liability thing. It didn't really hit me until I got home, stared at those gorgeous angel wings, and I said, what the fuck did that mean?

How am I ever going to move these out of my house? They're very, very heavy. I forgot about this angel wings. wings. So Erica's like, well, I feel like you always have to clean up and take care of her. Okay, you will a very good friend, Denise. I'm very loyal to her. And sometimes you stick up for sudden and you don't have to. She puts herself in some hot water. I mean, how ridiculous is it that you always have to explain your friend and make excuses for your friend and say, no, no, she's cool. I'm sure she knew nothing about what happened with Tom. How many times

you have to do that for something? It's ridiculous. Literally what everybody on this cast has been doing for Erica for the past two years. Yep. So Garcel's like, well, I mean, sure, sometimes she gets in hot water, but aren't friends there to stick up for you? She's like, oh, she says some pretty wild stuff. Like, sorry, I didn't have a gun put to my head after Dorit did, in fact, have a gun put to her head. She's like, okay, but, I mean, I said that to her, you know? You know, can we just invite her over into this conversation?

She goes, no, why would you want to do that? Why? Is she good dick? Then, no, I don't want her. Garcel's like, because maybe she'll say something that'll change your mind. At that point, Erica should have said, see, you're doing it again right now. You're cleaning up for her. But by the way, this entire season has been about people.

This is to add on to what you're saying and to what I was saying before. Everything with Erica drinking, like Erica's being a jerk to Garcel's son, Erica at the Christmas party. Everything is about people being like, well, she's just letting loose. She hasn't been able to let loose yet. That is literally all of Erica's personality right now. Right.

So Garcel's like, well, I come from a big family. It's what we do. Do you think I would stand up for you? And Erica goes, well, I think it would be conditional. But I do feel like you would do more for her than me. And that's okay because you're closer. But I don't think that you would cut me some slack. That's for sure.

It's like, uh-oh. It's a business, Erica. And Garcel's like, well, you don't think I have cut you some slack. She's like, no, I think you've been very clear on how you feel about me and everything that happened last year. And I think I've done my best to explain myself, but I don't think that you necessarily believe me. I've done my best. Yeah. Go ahead.

I said, I've done my best to explain myself. Like, for instance, when I told the story about how Tom rolled his car three times during a white squall in the middle of Pasadena when there was a thunderstorm and a firestorm and then all of a sudden a monster from a different dimension. I think it's called the upside down. It was like the upside down for the upside down. So it came through two different dimensions and it showed up and Thor was there too. Thor came through as a whole crossover hit his hammer on Tom's car, cock, but flipped over Tom wound up in the tree. It was terrible. So I mean, I feel like I explained that pretty well. Well, I agree with you. I don't know that I believe in everything that you're saying.

I loved that, first off. Love that Garcel said that. Like, I agree. I don't believe you. And she's like, okay. And then the music just goes, so Erica's like, well, Garcel has her sights on me. She doesn't want to see my side of anything.

She wants me to make me the bad guy. What have I done to you? Absolutely. Okay, now I'm going to Erica Dead Voice. Absolutely fucking nothing, except I don't know me with. to my life burning down in front of you. So judgmental. The batteries are out on Erica.

Change the batteries. She did watch your life burn down in front of you, and then she saw the way you handled it, and she saw, like, the fact that you seemed to be showing the extreme lack of concern for the victims of what Tom was up to, and she's kind of like put off by that. So yes, you're right at her. She doesn't have her sight set on you anyway.

She let all that stuff from last year go and has been nothing but good to you. All she's done is say, please stop saying fuck you to my kids or whatever. And stop trying to fuck the other one when you're wasted. Yeah. Dimwit. So Renna's like, oh my God, there's cookies. And so they come back to the group. And Sutton's like, well, I don't like that.

I've been called a liability as a friend. I don't like that at oh, Erica, point. I'm going to point and squint. So you really get it, you motherfucker. Yeah, because Garsell told her 20 minutes ago that Erica said that. So something goes, if you felt like that, you can tell me that. Don't tell her that. So why am I a lot of ability as a friend?

Oh, shit, I just dropped a glass. Okay, I'm a slight liability. Okay, I do break things every now and then. I apologize. Because she always has to clean up for you. And that's why I said it. She goes, that's called being a friend. And Erica's like, well,

There's me last year. There's Diana this year. There's ridd of this year. And she's constantly defending you. Well, it's like, but Erica, there's you and there's you and Sutton. There's you and Garcell. There's you and Denise. Denise.

Literally. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. You and America. So, Sutton's like, you and widows, you and orphans. You have audreds and. hundreds of victims not made that you're now on screen saying are probably liars about the whole thing and the fuck off.

So, Susson's like, well, that's called being a friend, motherfucker. So Garstel goes, why do you guys make me feel bad because I'm a loyal friend? And Erica goes, well, when you support her and she falls out with one of us, it's always, oh, you guys have to give us some room. Don't be so hard. I'm like, that's literally the stuff that Kyle says, and Dorit says and Renna says, whenever they defend you, Erica. so like, what's fair is fair.

Right, and she goes... Yeah, and listen, she went tip for tap for you, Gossel. Sutton did. And she goes, what? What are you talking about? She goes, the Elton John thing. So we see the watch what happens clip where Sutton is saying, well, you know, at the Elton John gala,

I bought a table and invited Lisa and Harry to sit at my table, and I never got to thank you for that. Okay. You know, But didn't you go at Crystal five seconds ago telling every, like is that tip for tat for whoever she's? I mean, what are you talking about Erica? Right. And the question was about the thank you card.

Do you think that Garcell should have been in trouble for that not saying thank you? And Sutton said, well, I didn't get a thank you and I did something nice for Renna. She's answering a question. Right. And by the way, that sudden moment was like basically light shade and the fact that Rina has become so butthurt about it is just, Rina is the one who's made it into more of a thing than it really is. Like Rina should have just seen it was just like light shade. And what she should have said was like here is she should have been, she should have done like a snarky thank you note or something.

I don't know. It doesn't even matter. But like Rina is the one who turned into this is an embarrassment for everyone involved. So. And Erica says, yeah, well, Rina has never tried to embarrass or hurt anybody. But you did. You did. And by the way, Rina and Eric are looking at each other this whole time, you know?

Like, there's so, there's so me and my sister making up plays when we were little kids. It's like, your turn, you're a turn. Like, subtle kids, subtle. So, so then, so then Sutton's like, yeah, because Ben Dorit is like, do you go on to national television and try to fuck them, humiliate them? I'm like, well, should we go back to the Crystal conversation you guys just had, you know? On national television? Yeah.

Sutton's like, well, I had no idea of the capacity of hurt that would ensue from that little comment. She's like, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt so much and hurt a lot. She's like, okay. And Erica's like, yeah, and it hurt Harry. It hurt Harry indeed. And it hurt Lois. It hurt that bird. Sorry, Lois.

She's sorry, Lois. And everyone is like, there's a reason why you want to hurt me. There is. And you've got to figure out why it is. You've got to figure out why it is. I was like, well, I didn't see that much introspection when you guys went after Vanderpump, but that's fine. So then she's like, think about it for five seconds, okay? And something goes, I don't think you need to cuss like that.

Because you're five fucking seconds. You don't need to cuss like that because that seemed angry. And you're the one who's angry at me. And we talked about forgiveness. and it doesn't sound like you've forgiven me. I did it in a flippant moment. I had just made some chicken salad and was riding that high, okay?

It wasn't flip it. It wasn't flip it. I was like, oh, the blogger in me was like, yeah, flip it, shout out. And Sutton was like, it was. And you know, Lisa, you're very funny because we had our lunch and that went very differently than right now

because let's not forget that 10 minutes ago, Renna was like, you know what, sudden I just need to move on from all of the things. this. I just want to be friends again. And now Rina's like, I'm so mad, you hurt me so deeply. So we see a clip of that and Rennah's like, well, it hurt

me. And Sutton says, well, I kind of knew that once we got here and that you had just, what, an audience, an audience and I would play it up for the audience. No, it's about you. You did it. Bap-la-la-ba-da-da-da-da-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-time step.

Give my recast to Broadway, remember me on Harold Square. I do not play things up for an audience. Not at all. So she's like, well, you can't forgive me, I guess. She goes, but you did it. You did it. Well, listen, I want you to because I do like you, Lisa.

She goes, oh, you do like me. Oh, I do like you, Lisa. And she's like, but I do, Lisa. I think you're a good person some days. She goes, oh, you know what? No, you don't respect me. you don't risk And then she starts going on her Rina

Crazy for no reason Yeah and she's basically like She basically tells us that she is still Pissed off about this whole thing Because she feels like there's an injustice about it Right She feels like there was a spitefulness You know

And so something keeps saying Like you were very different at lunch You really were And everybody goes I have, listen I have talked So fucking nasty behind your back And you should know It's gonna come

It's going to come. And then we see a montage of Rina talking shit about Sutton for three months. And Rina basically is like, you know, I wish Sutton would just say that she said what she said out of spite. She wanted her. It's like I want her to say, I wanted her to hurt you because you hurt my friend Garcel. That's what Rino wants to hear. But she hasn't denied that. Of course that's why she said it.

She made a sarcastic comment and a joke about you not saying thank you when you spent the whole year trying to get a thank you out of Garcell. And the only reason that Garcell's storyline came up is because Garcell confronted you about how you were treating Denise. And then all of a sudden you were like, well, you know what? You never said thank you to Harry for sauce. That whole thing was a distraction storyline in the first place. So the fact that you're still here swinging it around like a dead cat is just obnoxious, lady. Let it go. And how many like spiteful moments that Brina have in the whole Denise thing?

you know, that she never ultimately admitted. Yeah. Being spiteful, yeah. So Renna's like, you get the, you know what, you get the fuck out of my house. If you're going to talk to me like this, you should leave. Ah! And Sutton's like, oh my God, the soap actress in Renna never leaves her body. It would take an exorcism to get that soap actress out.

And Renna's like, come after me as much as you want, but do not bring up my children. or my husband. What are you talking about? Literally nobody brought up your husband to your children. I will fucking hunt you down. It's everyone clear? I'm actually less clear now. I don't know what you were talking about.

So Sondon's like, is that a threat or a promise? It is a fact. Okay, if you're not clear, ask me more questions. So Sotun goes, okay, question number one, have you ever considered sign up? for vending machine refills in Georgia because I think that would fix a lot of this situation. Get out of my house

if you're going to talk to me like that. Okay, question number two. Have you ever heard a wolf cry to a flu full-blown boom? What do you, Pocahontas? Get the fuck out of here. Question number three. Where have all the cowboys gone?

Get the fuck out of my house. So also, Sutton doesn't leave. She just sits there, which I thought was really funny. And she's like, listen, I can only apologize so many times. And I am sorry if I humiliated you 100%. Okay. And she's like, you tried to halleliate me.

You tried to humiliate. Listen, you tried to Huma Aberdeen me. And I was like, whoa, whoa, you're not getting closer. You're not getting closer to the word. But you know what? In my drunkenness, you did. I'm drunk, and I will say it, because that red and rosé is just so good.

It's just so good. But you tried, but you didn't because, because you have looked like a fucking fool when you did it. Okay, you humiliated yourself and me and Harry and the charity and El John, and El John's glasses, and that guy who's always with El John, David, something, another, about all of them, every single one of them. you better get ready.

You better get ready for that. Because that's the truth. What are you even talking about? You don't even make any fucking sense. And everybody there is just looking at her like, this is so awkward. Except for Erica, of course. Erica's sitting back nodding like,

yeah, we gotta. We got a. Yeah, you too. Yep. Great job, you fucking weirdos. So next week we get to see P.K. go to get some gumworm. So It's exciting

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