Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Hewe I Aaaaam!

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Diana Jenkins the full fledged willain finally shows up on this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and no one knows quite how to handle it. Also, breaking news! Kyle does the splits. This week's bonus is a talk about food, recipes, and Instagram chefs. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crap In! So, podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on you, brawves. I'm Ronnie, I'm with somebody very special today. Just gotta get heart.

He's got a strong mind and he's got really hard packs. His name is Ben. Hi, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. You were so kind to lie like that. I definitely do not have hard packs. They're soft like two soft little dumplings, but I appreciate that. Well, everybody loves the dumpling now. There's not one person you can name in this world that says, I don't like dumplings. Okay. Could you imagine saying, didn't like dumplings? I have not, I've never met anyone like that, but now I'm wondering, sorry, I'm like re-arranging myself here.

Don't mind me. Continue talking. Hi everybody. Welcome to Beverly Hills Day. It's a very, very special day. And also I wanted to ask Ben a question before we got started I hope that's okay then can I ask you a little question? You need a new wheel in you need a new wheel in

We're just one find a new villain. Where do I find one? Bosnia, only the streets of Bosnia. Well, I have been shut up. I don't care if you're from fucking Bosnia anymore, okay? You've played the Bosnia card. You've officially overplayed the Bosnia card. It's time to put the Bosnia card away, okay?

Madame, Diana Jenkins, and your fucking little twink boy toy coming in and matching black fur is like, what do you heckle and jekyll? Shut up the two of you, okay? I know Asher showed up in this episode, looking like he was auditioning to be part of the black crow's biopic or something. I don't know what was happening there.

He's so bizarre. I don't know. I mean, I'm like, I'm like, you know, Diana, I appreciate that she is stepping into the villain role. She's doing a great job at it. Hate that she's racist. That kind of ruins the fun of her villainy, I would have to say, because it's like real life villainy.

But Diana, wow, she's really, she's really an asshole. And I think it's so real life villainy, but Diana, wow, she's really, she's really an asshole. And I think it's so funny because Sutton, Sutton is actually an asshole, but for some reason I'm on her, I feel like I'm always on her side, but she's actually a huge asshole all the time. And yet I'm like always,

I'm like, team Sutton, ceaselessly. Yeah, well by the time we got to that fight, it was very like, okay, well, Sutton's starting this, right? She deserves what she gets. But then by the end, I was like, oh my God. And I'm still team Sutton, at least in this fight, like GZ2. Yeah, seriously.

God, I got my face burned off today and I feel like it's crinkling like a bag now. I want to get like a little laser thing on my face and now it's like, er, it's like this huge wrinkles now. It's like, it's paper bag material now. I want to get like a little laser thing on my face and now it's like, errr, it's like this huge wrinkles now. It's like it's paper bag material now. Guys, my stirs. Well, actually, you have light on your face. I'm like me who I'm standing in front of a light ring and I still look like I'm in some like indie drama. Well, you know, it's like staring at, you know, a pickup truck about to run me over. I mean, it's a lot of light in here because they say light youth ends

So I've got I mean my electricity bells through the roof I'm like just get whatever lights you can got the lamps got the LEDs got the rings and we'll go about it It's like an alien ship is here to pick me up, you know Have it this what if I just do the that looks great with the ring light like it directly around now I look like I'm actually an astronaut. I'm in a sci-fi movie. You do. I'm like, I guess something. I'm like Holly Hunter on Mars right now.

You're in that space movie where they're like, I'm in space, but I have daddy issues. It's like that. Brad Favid. It's like a Steven Soderberg. Yeah, it's the base movie. Like is this about space or is your dad was mean to you? Like what the fuck is this movie? And then it's like your dad's on the, it's like, wait a second, we went through the wormhole and there is your dad was mean to you? Like what the fuck is this movie?

And then it's like your dad's on the, it's like wait a second, we went through the wormhole and there is my dad. Be quiet, Jody Foster. Yeah, stop, you know, flying around in your underwear, Sandra Bullock, okay, but space on. Okay, so the point is we're here for Beverly Hills. You can tell we're a little loopy today.

So good luck, good luck, any listener here still? Yeah. Who hasn't already pressed stop and started listening to something else? Good luck. You'll need it. By the way, I also want to point out, I just added, turned on my overhead lights,

and it's made me look even worse. I don't know, I mean, I'm backlit. That's basically what it is. I apologize. I'm gonna be working on this while you, while you intro this episode. And we're done. This is an intro.

What are we actually not doing? I mean, what the hell? We're actually not done, because I do have something that I want to say I'm gonna be working on this while you know the intro of this episode. And we're done. This is an intro. What are we actually doing? Actually, we're not done. I mean, what the hell? We're actually not done because I do have something that I want to say before we get into it. Last week, I did announce that I'd be opening up my cameo for the weekend and sending all the proceeds

to Planned Parenthood. And, you know, because we are both really upset and annoyed about Roe v. Wade being overturned. So, I'm very lazy, so I will be matching all of that money without doing the work. Yes, okay. Yes, Ronnie is smart. So, Ronnie is smart. I'm hoping this light.

Well, the bad news for you, Rami, is that we have awesome listeners. And I'm proud to announce that now that all the dust and settle and all the remonal impressions have been sent off to everyone, we raise, on my end, a total of $2,477.13. Wow. So thank you to everyone who booked a cameo last weekend and rose and raised basically $2,500. That's super awesome. Super awesome. Yeah, really cool.

Okay, I'll go on there after we record today. Yeah. Get it on, Piper. Yeah, thanks everybody for the support and stay strong out there. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. All right, so now let's get to real housewives of Beverly Hills.

Yeah. Skate. The Supreme Court has not really released a ruling on real housewives of Beverly Hills yet, but the way that things are going right now, they probably will. They'll probably be like, it's legal. Yeah, I'm surprised that the Supreme Court didn't just, you know, have come out with an announcement that said, you'll need a new wily? Here I am.

Oh, they've given us plenty of new villains. Okay. So, but unlike Diana, they're stuck in office forever. Diana will be here like the rest of the season. That's it. And then her ass is gone, you know? Like thank God Housewives doesn't work like that. We at least get some freshness in this house because that one, it doesn't work.

They'll just like Diana till you die, you know? Could you imagine permanent fixture on Bravo, Diana Jenkins. I mean, it kind of is like that every time I see Kyle do the splits. I'm like, okay, we need term limits. We officially need Kyle as a cocktail napkin in her coach on someone's living room floor term limits for housewives

Yeah, yeah, they're it might be time. So anyway, let's dive into it. Okay. So we start at I thought this was gonna be a Rina scene Because no one likes shooting in a park more than Lisa Rina. We are in a park in the valley. Rina's favorite place to shoot. Hahaha. Yeah, not only that, I, I, the first line is, hey, mama. So I, I just assumed it was Rina. I wrote down, hey, mama, Lisa Rina. And then I looked up and I was like, wait,

that's not Lisa Rina at all. In fact, there was no Lisa Rina this entire episode, except for a brief phone call in a flashback. Kind of surprised. I'm at the hot zone. I'm watching Harry. He's my hot zone. He's playing Tom Broca.

Can you believe it? I'm so proud of him. So that's where she is. The park now has Sheree with Garsell. It's Sheree's first episode as an official friend of. Yeah, so they meet in the park. Shree is like just back from London. She's like, yeah, my baby daddy was there. Jada was not there though because you know, Jada has her own little life and does stuff,

like that's the stuff that she does on her own, you know. So the backstory in KC and I missed it is that Shree was married to Will Smith and they have a son named Tray together. Yeah, they still hang out, which is good, right? I mean, I guess. Yeah, I mean, it's cool. I mean, just be safe. So be safe out there, kids.

I don't know. Jada's scary, you know. I don't know that I would want to be in contact with anyone close to Jada because she'll red table your ass, okay? I know. That's like my biggest fear is the red table, you know? Any kind of situation with that when they're like, let's get deeper about your emotions and we're gonna confront things.

Ew, fuck off, you know? Take your red table outside, okay? So I don't have to be around it. Fuck your red table. You're like, can we talk about Bravo? Can we do that instead, Jada? Yeah, while you've got a red table, can I pretend it's a little red circle you stand in on Ted Talks and I'll just give Erica's Ted Talk word for word.

Well, you know, I'm coming out with you past now. But you know, that's an awful, maybe it's a gentleman. I can't believe. I still, that's one of, maybe some gentleman. Can you believe? I still, that's one of those things that when I'm on my deathbed, and my life is flashing before my eyes, I'm going to think, is this real or a dream? Was Eric a really giving a TED talk that time? The answer is yes.

Yes, she was. So they're just sort of like having kind of this expository conversation about how Shree was married to Will and they had a baby together and they're just Garsell and Shree just kind of having a mind, not mindless, but an uninteresting conversation.

It's a boring conversation. About co-parenting. Oh, I dated Will, you were? And, you know, I learned about co parenting because of you guys, like, you know, stuff that don't really cares about. Well, that was funny to me because she's like, you know, you are really a hero as far as co parenting. I mean, you really set a tone for co parenting in a beautiful way. You weren't

together anymore, but you were still family and I wanted to mirror that. And then we get the scene of Garsell so strongly, ever so strongly mirroring that by doing a kid drop off in a parking lot, you know? I know. Heroes. Not all heroes were a kids. So, Garsell, this Garsell has her birthday party coming up and she's like, I want to go all out

I want to dance I want to have all my friends there all of her is gonna fly in and Shree's like so you don't think the girls will act a fool and she's like no Rina won't be there So she'd be pretty chill. No, you know unless Sutton's off her meds, but I think she'll be fun. She'll be lots of fun So then we go over to Crystal's house, and she's with her brother. Oh no, not yet. She's with, um, President, and Lucy,

President Day. Yeah. So they're doing it. Crystal's like, okay, let's just make a video real quick before Rob's home, all right? And then we see one of her videos that she does on Instagram, which are kind of my favorite.

She's like, you know what I love? Smashing avocados I really like cutting jalapenos I'm still not sure about her cooking influencer videos but I do watch them and then she's got like Lucy is her and he said, hey, you're amazing. What is this? Citrus are crazy. Yeah, and then Crystal puts in a whole bunch of booze. And Lucy's like, her eyes are just shocked. She's like, oh, that's a lot. She's like, well, it's dark rum. Oh, pardon me, just rum.

I can't say dark rum anymore. But Lucy's like, oh, it's too strong, too strong for me. As she was like, after this one, I go night night. Why can't you say dark rum anymore? What is that about? No, I was making fun of Crystal because she got in trouble for using the word dark. Oh, I was like, oh no, neutral.

She was like, I was like, I thought it was a no-rule section of the show. I was like, okay, educate me. I've got my pin-dam where it was in dark rum. No, no, it was not, okay, educate me. I've got my pin band where it was in the room. No, no, no, no, it was in Beverly Hills. We were in a lot to say dark rum nor can we say violated rum. So to do it. Sorry is reading my notes. I was half in. So, um, so then Jeff is there, her brother. And she's like, yeah, Jeff was in China releasing an album so it's really great

having him back and then you hear how's that go god Teddy's outside on a lawn mower just trying to get her face into a scene again there she is just passing slowly by the windows crystal sheets her diary room hi I'm Teddy I'm a John Deere. Hi, I'm moving. Hi, I'm on the lawn. So, um, yeah, so basically Jeff has his hair dry around during her interview. So then Rob comes home and he starts talking about this movie he was working on in England. I guess an adaptation of something called how Winston delivered Christmas. So for all you

HWDC fans out there, it's gonna be a theater near you soon. So Rob is like, everything in England is really old. And he's like, yeah, like the castles that we were shooting in, we went to a really old castle and a belonged to the Duke of Norfolk. And then the sounds like, he's like that. New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York, New York old. Yeah, like a husband's gathering in Beverly Hills, you know. I know. So they start talking, they get some private time

and he's asking her about Mexico and he asks how Diana did and she's like, well, it was like my first trip with the girls. He's like, someone came into her room naked and traumatized her for two years, solid. So what happened? Have you guys not learned to lock the doors yet? Like did no one tell her what's going on? Yeah, and Crystal says that Diana just went through a hell of a year with her miscarriage and she just, you know, Diana just wanted to go and have fun, but it was hard on her

and she wanted to leave a few times, but she goes, well, you know Diana, when you jab at Diana, it's nuclear. And he's like, I love her. And then the brother goes, I love Diana. And Rob's like, you know, Diana, he goes, no, but I love her already. Okay, shut up, LA. Okay. I love that the brother comes in and he's already total LA. Like, God, I love her. Yeah. Incine he's already total LA like God. I love yeah

Incinuating a friendship with someone he doesn't even know I Know so then over at Kyle's house Mauricio's walking. Oh, hard girls. Actually, that was Carl's heart I know I was like, well, this should just got more sober I know why do you suffer Mauricio up, you know, let him sober up on his own journey I have to I you know it's because I was watching Carl's Instagram today, because, oh, yeah, Carl loves to go there and they're hard, some ladies organising their closet. Oh, thanks. Great job, ladies.

Don't say summertime around me because Luke is not coming back to summertime. What the hell? For summer house. I like that. I like the idea that summertime. He's not coming back to summertime. He goes to the hibernation for the season. Yeah, well, I hate summer time. I know. Obviously. Luke is not. Luke is. But Luke is not. I do love the song summertime. Okay, even though it's from a very depressing play. You know, it's just summer. It's triggers things. Okay. And we're in a crystal scene. And I'm getting getting triggered. Oh no, we're not. We're in a more ACO scene.

We transition. I just transition badly. I'm just completely looney tunes today. I had my face right off of Madeleine, the Zonia, the Zora mat. Okay. Look, it's we're like right before a long weekend. We can feel vacation, kicking in and this we just have to feel it come in. Yeah, but I don't even like this vacation, because this is like, oh, let's take a few days off. And then everyone's like, Oh, you must be off at least few days. Okay, there's a pool

party on this day. And then the next day, we're going to do a pool party. I'm like, fuck off. Like, who invented this? You know, I'm just telling people I'm going out of town, this fucking torture, you know, I'm just telling people I'm going out of town. It's fucking torture. You know, it's like congratulations. You don't get to do the thing you love watching housewives shows and talking about it all day. Instead, you get to go in the sun, show everybody your fucking

flabby mountain, you know, mountain of a muffin top, and then pretend to enjoy mayonnaise-based foods for like eight hours in a row, because that's all there is. You know, meat and mayonnaise. That's it. I'll tell you one person, I'll tell you one person who's not going to a pool party, Luke, sad. Actually, and Andrea and Alex too, so apparently all three of them have been asked. Alex makes sense. I'm really shocked, I'm actually most shocked about Andrea because

Luke was not much of a president's last season, although I still think he should be on the show because sometimes it's not about a storyline. It's about Luke. Hot-dish. Sometimes he just needs a person who's like, hey, anybody want a campfire? You know, you just need that guy who's hot in the background like, oh, there, there, there, there. Playing this guitar badly, not being able to rhyme songs. I mean, that's what we need. Like, we get year after year of Danielle, and I like Danielle, and she seems like a great person.

And she has her moments. She even threw some wine this year. But we get year after year of Danielle, but we get what? We're just gonna cut off Luke because he was not as active. I don't wanna appreciate it. And Andrea, I feel like Andrea, we're just getting started with Andrea. No, that's as active. I don't appreciate it. And Andrea I feel like Andrea were just getting started with Andre. That's not fair.

Andre, I could go to I'm fine with Andrea being on. Andre is like he's happy like all he's he just wants to be in love and like you know, Crown Amanda are not gonna stand for you another couple in that house. You've already got them now you've got Lindsay and Carl a sober couple. I mean, I don't know about the season, I'm just saying it right now. They better get about five new slutes, okay? Men and women, I want everybody to be a slute and they need to just be crazy alcoholics

and sleep with each other. Because it's season seven, that's when Vanderpump rules took a turn. And right now, like you said, we have Kyle and Amanda, we have Carl and Lindsay. Don't forget Paige and Craig and Danielle and Robert. So that's more couples, leaving just Sierra and Maya. And I don't know, is there anyone else left in the house?

I mean, it's gonna be like, we're all couples, we're all adults, we're all growing up and this can be death now. Yeah, I love me. You know, we love an adulting story when people are hitting 40. It's like, no, that's not when adulting. No.

I mean, I still haven't really done adulting. So I guess I wouldn't know from firsthand. But yeah, you're too old for that. OK. Yeah, the point is Kyle is basing a turkey. Kyle is basing a turkey, right? So Kyle's like, what are you doing? Maurizia, I'm just like eating a piece of bread

because I'm hungry. It's like, OK, Rina, you're naked in that bathtub, boob alert. She's like, oh my god, there's my whole body. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Thrax is like the best detour since we had the Burbank film festival. I'm just gonna say that right now So I have for the F.Y.C. Billboards around LA for hot zone The big blue carpet that they had at that Burbank festival for Eileen in the mall Okay, so Maurizio's asking because you know he's being forced to because he really is there for the bread I love I love how openly bored he is at home. He's just like So is somebody going to Garth's own thing party. What is it house? River, what are we doing today?

River and cows like well, I guess not Diana. I don't think she's gonna be there. Let me read this text, could we have a group text? Okay, let me read this, okay. So I sent a message on Sunday morning saying, oh, you girls are all getting some rest, I'm so tired. I mean, classic me, am I right, Mauricio? Like that was funny, like I said, like I hope you're getting rest,

cause I'm so tired. Anyway, so then Diana wrote back and said, I don't normally do this on a group text, but doctors are putting me on bed rest to stop bleeding. And then like everyone, we're getting the whole text, but everyone's- Everyone's dreaming, yeah. This trip in drinking and burn in cantaloupe both ends

after losing baby. Yeah, I didn't actually write down who wrote what. So- Oh, and then you pressed all the way. Bleeding for eight weeks straight after a miscarriage And four major surgeries that followed in the last few weeks to save my Uterus was not very intelligent thing to do I wouldn't usually share this in the group tax because it makes me look like whining bitch

like whining bitch. Ha ha ha ha ha. What? Bunch our cell. Bunch our cell. Misspelled might think I'm rude, so there it is. Oh God. Okay, so now you're going to use all of your medical trauma to diss somebody in a text.

Okay, sounds reasonable. Diana, listen, I know you're new here, but if you think you're the first one to try it out your medical records to get out of an event You're sorely mistaken. They are pros at this game and you are not it. Yes. So Kyle is like phone drop like she drops her phone and Ren is like I love Diana. She's a shady as I am And then Everybody's horrified.

So, it's talking horrified. Let's go to Erica's hair extension plug. Yay. Yuck. Pretty mess hair. Yeah, so Erica's here in glam. What's your name for every happening? I know, pretty mess hair.

Okay. Can't wait to have a pretty mess hair. Erica's in glam as she is six times every episode. And like she of course has another gay just faunting all over her talking about like the hair extension. She's like, it's so seamless. You can't even see where your hair starts. And she goes, yeah.

And then you can leave it in. Or you can take it out. I'm like, really? I did not know that. Is that unique to hair extensions? I thought normally they go in and then they're just like the Supreme Court. They're just there until you die.

Yeah. Yeah. I wish they had put in pictures of when Erica was on Watch What Happens Live and you could see all of the tracks all over her head of these terrible fucking extensions. I mean, it looks like she has ziplock bags just thrown in her hair.

You know, they're bad. They're bad plastic extensions, okay? So Mikey's like, knock, knock. I'm in my glasses. So I'm really gonna go bad plastic extensions, okay? So Mikey's like knock, knock. I'm in my glasses. So I'm really gonna go get a mode, okay? We're gonna get out there with Stephen because we haven't done a photo shoot like this and so long Eric, I said,

oh yeah, it's cold land. Yeah, I'm proud of pretty much here. I'm proud to be back in business. You know, being in that avatar game was tricky, but now we're moving from avatar to hair. So this is great. I feelin' my move my way up. Okay? It's a great distraction from all this heavy stuff. You know, people don't get in the money. What a great distraction hair. You know, when you read this stuff that was said about me, they were moments that I thought how am I gonna pull myself out of this? I used to do a lot of bands and then swim a lot of people, but I dropped my ass cheek to the sidewalk and they wasn't nothing to clap up.

The well was dry. I didn't get a chewed up water gum in my corn hole, but that's another story, another time. Anyway! Cornhole, but that's another story another time anyway Well nobody is magically gonna tap me on my shoulder and say oh my god, I can't wait to save you. That's not gonna happen So anyway plastic hair So then So then she tells us the story about her grandma because they're sewing like a diamond string thing onto her dress And she's like oh you yes, I'm wearing my grandmother with the same dress. She made my early costumes.

Well, it's such a special connection. She was tough and cuss you out, but she was very big-hearted, like me, big-hearted air, cause they say we'd be driving down the road. And she said, look at that, it's a charm! And I'd say that's a piece of junk. And this motherfucker, that's right, that's what I call the motherfucker.

She would make it stunning. She would re-oppost that child and make it stunning. God, I tried to do that with Tom so many times. Didn't like it when the needle touched him though. She was beyond creative that and her God. Oh God, she loves her God and God dem American get out of my bagonias. Oh God. So is that enough personality for you, Bravo? Okay. Great. Thanks. Yeah. She would say get out of my bagonias because I would run

through the bagonias. She's trying so hard to make this like I'm a real person story. I know. And one time she came running after me. She put a orange in her mouth and then she had a big old heart attack and died right there in the God and I was like, uh, Eric, I think that's just the Godfather. So it is. So it is. She helped me move to L.I. We moved to cross country together and this box still sits in my bedside. It's a letter. I wrote to my grandmother. Hey, bitch, I ain't never coming back to that dumb have fun down along BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE So it is so it is I must be mistaken One time I wanted to visit there so I thought a little trail of racist places into a tent. Okay, Eric. That's just ET now. That's not cool

Listen let's not there's bigger things to worry about you know the White House just got destroyed I mean you saw what they did to the pyramids. That's just Independence day. I dated with all right Alright, guys, so get out. Go back to the park. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and s**t. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

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like Mexico. And Doreet's like, oh wait, I'm so tired. I'm just so tired. You know how it is being tired. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. She's like, well, it smells so good in here. She's like, oh, gee, well, my mom, Rachel is here. She made some cookies. Would you like some cookies? Yes, I'll have this one right here. Oh, that is a hot cookie.

I did not resist a jalapeno with this cookie. Why is it so hot? You know, the mom's like so nice to meet you and she's like hot cookie That's what you're meeting a lady who just ate a very hot cookie from a very irresponsible mother Where the fuck is this mother? I am the mother. I know I want to speak to the woman who had the nerve to feed me this terrible jalapeno cookie What did you put in this cookie?

It's me. I'm still the mother. What did you put in this cookie? It's me, I'm still the mother. What did you put in this? Just a dash of kind. There's more than a dash. No, just a stop it. You stop it. You tell me right now, what is in this cookie? You just stop it right now with these lies.

She's like, you do. That's what you do. You are so beautiful. And whenever I see your picture on Instagram, that's what I say. She is so beautiful. Is that lady come now? That lady come now or is it just the Hall of Peno terrorist? I

Would say your beauty brings a tear to my eye, but that may just be a reaction to the hot pinnows You put in a cookie for some reason who puts hot pinnows into a cookie. I'm confused. I'm confused about that So to read psych after the break in, I called very few people, TMZ, coil in the crew of real housewives of BVG heals, and me family. And then we see a clip of her brother. He's like, don't read. I love you. Well, we see why David's not on this this so clean up David. We've got a David clean up on aisle It's haunted here nothing so stupid

And then we also see it like one week earlier her mom is like here is a piece of jewelry I found from your mother. She she left it in the begonias. Hey, that's my story! So, sudden is still like, you guys keep on talking because my mouth is literally on fire right now, okay? Okay, so Drico's, oh gee, I'll never forget, when my mother was flying with my grandmother to our second home in Florida, that part about the second home is actually not essential to the storyline, but I just want to throw that in there just to set the stage and remind everyone that we have a second home in Florida. And boys, my grandmother had a hot attack in the air and my mother looked after her and

I would have thought, gee, I would crumble with that kind of pressure. I mean it's hard enough to take care of PK's diabetes 47, but it was the total opposite. She's definitely someone I can rely on. So Sutton goes into her stash. She's like, well, I'm getting surgery. I'm getting my pellet. Okay, they do this little incision and they put pelleting in you. That's all it's about testosterone because Dereet's looking at her like, Peel it!

Hmm? Surgery! Your boobs! No, we're supposed to peel it. Your face? No, it's a pellet. Your eyes! No, it's a pellet. Doreet, I mean do something seriously.

I'm gonna do what's your third year on the show. Get the boob in! Am I right, pellet? Gawd! Don't the pellet on line three! Get the boobs done! I'm very tired. I had to block some Peloton guy on the Instagram because I feel like he was stalking our Instagram. He never wrote us anything but every time I was scrolling through it was some fucking peloton guy. One of them was like, guys, it's me. He's doing like a video obviously.

Like an instructor? Yeah, I was one of the instructors and I was like, block, I don't want to ever see his face again. Never show me a video from this fucker. He's like, guys, I hate grammar police. So it's you're gonna come on and yell at me about the difference between you and you're then sorry. I was like, guys, I hate grammar police. So it's you're gonna come on and yell at me about the difference between you and you're than sorry. I was like, oh my God, who is this him, though? And then I'm like,

I'm Cody Riggs big. Yes, that's it. Cody Riggs, me, I was like, you will know Kathy. So get off of mine. You know what, I think I followed him because I think the last time I did a ride, people were like, oh, Ben, if you follow him and message him, he'll probably give crap

and just shout out. So I did it and he didn't give a shout out and then I forgot to unfollow. So I apologize. I brought Cody Riggs B into your life. I apologize. You did. I felt like he was like some weird gay ghost

that just wouldn't leave me. It's like every time I open Instagram, he's like, oh my God, guys, this reminds me of being a my kid, they're like, that's much more fabulous. I was like, die, die on your bike, okay? Yeah, that's your bike to like start off fire. That's by the way, every Peloton ride from every instructor. Hey, remember the 90s?

Gel, shoes, am I right? Karen, a side pony, am I right? Hey, remember being in like the, in your bedroom and just like dancing in your bedroom. Okay, turn that resistance up to 67. Hey, who remembers shoes? Guys remember putting sneakers on when you were a kid? It's like everything is all I do is talk about in the salad.

I'm like, just be quiet and just let me die in peace. Yeah, who wants to be happy while you're actually sad? I'm gonna do one of those. I'm not gonna actually ride the bike. I'm just gonna sit down and then yell at people while they ride the bike. And I'm gonna be like, Supreme. I'm not gonna actually ride the bike I'm just gonna sit down and then yell at people while they ride the bike and I'm gonna be like Supreme court decision. That's what traffic How about that? Hey are they making parking spaces smaller as it just me?

I think the only instructor I think you would really enjoy is Christine Derrickall because she sort of does like a Downward spiral while she bikes. Yeah because she sort of does like a downward spiral while she bikes. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. She puts on show tunes. She puts on Into the Woods. And then she tells stories about how her father got laid off and built her, like, used money from the grocery store

to build her a little studio where she could dance and then all her whole life, all she wanted to do was to see Into the Woods. And then the night before Into the Woods, she got her wisdom to take it out and she was on painkillers and she couldn't even enjoy it. I mean, she just goes. She just goes.

It's great. And she smiles as if like, this is all part of Life's Journey, but she's like crying inside. It's amazing. I know you're having to listen to Into the Woods while you're doing haliton. I don't mind.

She literally put on, what's that slug that Bernat- he doesn't say just like, I'm not, I'm not what I was thinking. No. No. Actually, yes, she did do that one, but then she also did. What's that one that she sings to Rapunzel

and her thing? Stay with me. I'm like biking to stay with me. I'm like, what is happening here? Hey, I've been there. Like, why am I crying? Actually. So it's like Beyoncé's Get Me Bodyed

and then like on my own from Les Mis, every time I actually,'m like why am I Exercising to this okay, so Sentence got getting a she got a pellet pellet so to read like so you're saying it's all a whole moan She goes yeah, so look at me now. I'm all balanced except for not being able to feel my tongue still Which fuck you by the way, but I'm not seeing you which shows I'm a good person Which fuck you by the way, but I'm not seeing you, which shows I'm a good person Yeah Draco's oh

Testastaron. I guess that explains it Shua Shua And while she's not believing the story she's like I'm so sorry. I'm putting on my sunglasses because all my eyes can say right now is TEEE save right now is Cheee! She's like, so how are you feeling, Sotten? She's like, did you not hear me? Test stars around! I'm great!

I'm great! But I mean, after you left Mexico, with Crystal, you know that whole thing. She's like, well, we kind of had it out, but you know, it's always good to have it out. It's good. We're never about Diana. She's like, I am not happy. Okay. Asa Lovista, baby, oh, sorry.

That was the testosterone speaking for a moment there. She was, what? She was, well, I did not like how I was getting on the plane. And you know, you know, when you have your tray at school, you know, and you want to sit with the cool kids at their table, and that's what I did. I had a tray on the plane, and only I had a Chanel beautiful tote bag, and I was like, can I sit with y'all? And she said, no, go back to your seat.

And then Lisa sat in the seat that I wanted to sit in, and Lisa didn't even sit there originally. So naturally, I am hugely upset about this. Oh, well I remember high school. My tree was made from Don't Check a Panda! Me Mac and Cheese was prepared by Donatella! Lorenzo Lomas was in charge of putting out the folding chairs, but that's neither here nor there. It's really not famous enough to be in this story.

I have to. I think that counts. That counts. Lorenzo Lama's counts. So, um, it sounds like if you're going to do it to me, do it to everybody, okay? And, uh, to read, it's like, well, do you think that it was kind of a punishment?

Yes. But I had to apologize, and she got in the crossfire. Yeah. And, um, so she's like, and she got in the crossfire Yeah, and So she's like and then in that group text to say Garth sell spilled incorrectly by the way I mean to take a jab at my friend. Oh nope. Uh-uh. I'm not gonna happen missy and Dree's like Well tonight's Garth sells parties. I guess Dionne I want to be there with her shit. She's like well. I'm watching her now I thought she was gentle and now she's a smapper.

To be it's like, ooh, I'm putting on my glasses. Chee. So now we go to Garsell's house, which is always exciting. And she's there, Oliver's there, looking very sexy, and lots of people and gargisels are like, oh, hello, it's a house full of men. Wow, the real surprise of me today, you could say it was a real surprise.

They got me balloons in a video. And then Oliver, who I knew was coming to the party, came out on stage. You don't know how surprising it feels when someone, you see someone about two hours before your schedule to see them. I was blown away. Well, where's the Taylor? Alessio, are you here?

And then we see this big guy come down the stairs. He's like, he's, he's, um, so one of the guys from the sopranos, I forget the characters name though, but he's like, oh, hello, the beautiful girl, and you have your beautiful messenger, come on, now she's like, what a surprise. I thought he wouldn't be here for five minutes. He was expected to be here in seven more minutes. So this is, I mean, the day of surprise just keeps on going. So now everyone is getting ready for this party and

Sutton and Kyle are FaceTiming and Kyle's like, well, I guess Diana's not coming. Yeah. And she's like, it sounds like, well, I sent her a text this morning to be Nass. Kyle goes, did she respond? Well, she responded and said, I'll see you to Nass. So I guess she will be coming. And Kyle's like, she respond? Well, she responded and said, I'll see you tonight. So I guess she will be coming. And Kyle's like, she's coming after that text message. Hmm, that's not working right. I mean, I have to just make her angry again all over this evening. Oh, wow.

Let's not make his car. I was like, I thought she'd never want to see your stupid face again. And the sudden's like, let's not make a man out of Mulhill. Okay, Kyle. And she's like, not really a Mul out of Mojillo. Okay, Kyle. And she's like, uh, not really a Mojillo because you got booted from your seat. And she starts cracking up.

So then we go over to Erica's house and Erica's like, Oh, it's a birthday party tonight. So of course, Jamie Fox is gonna be there cause there's such close friends. Can't wait to tell my bagone your story. Can't wait to share stories about how my grandmother also grew blind but became such a huge musician she even wrote a song about her home state Georgia it's like um no Erica you just that's actually Jamie Foxx's movie that you're So hot to remember. I do and I don't care if he's blind or not. It's a garrick. It's the real Jamie Foxe, Eric. Okay.

So then we go to Doreet, Dress Like Leprecy. I don't know if just a little scene. And then we go to Arrivals at Garcels. At Solace. Yes. Yes. So everyone's people showing up, Allie Landry is making return appearance with Crystal and Rob Sudden and her gay are there

Erica's walking up lots of kisses, etc. And then Erica's like greeting Allie Landry and she's like She's like hey last time I saw you was at 3j max in Lakhim Yada Last time I saw you was at 3J Max in Lakhim Yada. I was like, okay. It's like, can I have a spicy bangerina ballcane? He's like, we're not doing that tonight. Oh, you could do with Fubba. So, it begins Erica's downward spiral into her special drink. I'm thought the episode's like, oh,

Erica's asking for a special drink, she's in trouble. Eric is having a third drink, I wonder if she has a problem. And did you notice the Assa was there? From Shaz? I did not see Assa. How did I notice Assa? I don't know, because of course she's just as Assa would be. She's there with like a metal crown,

like from religious paintings. She's like, with a- Oh my God, I'm so mad I I missed awesome. Yeah, she was now So Erica is like wow I was gonna call you Sutton and ask you what to get guys hell and then I thought hi I've got some scotch tape in my junk drawer I'll just get those greedy supposed orphans and widows haven't tried to take that yet

So I'll just give those creamy supposed to dwarf ins and widows haven't tried to take that yet. So, I'll just give you that about a ride. So, have fun attaching things, bitch. I found some dandelions in the median on Highland Boulevard, so here you go. Nice bouquet for you all. So, something's like, if Erica had called me, I personally would be packing my bags for heaven, because hell would have frozen over. And I have to a sand because if hell freezes over, people even go to heaven, there won't be a lot of room left. So I have to get there quickly and there's a lot of urgency.

I don't have time for this. I'm stressed. Heaven is feeling up. I will not, I will not be on the waiting list for heaven. I'm a little lost in my metaphor. I'm not going to lie. I'm lost in the metaphor. I tell heaven right now, I'm messy, I'm messy. Is that a Hall of Pengu? So, Satan sees Kyle and Kyle's, no matter where it is, you can always count on Kyle

to just be dressed horribly. I mean, I'm no fashion guy. I don't really care what they're wearing, but Kyle, like, it's worse every time, Kyle. Every time, it's like me taking a shower. It's worse every time. She was like in sort of like a lingerie-type dress, it's like a sheer dress, but like with a,

it looks like almost like a black bathing seat underneath it. It was just strange and sudden, because I didn't know it was a pajama party. And Kyle goes, well, I didn't know it was a pajama party. And Kyle goes, I didn't know it was a boob hanging out party. I'm just like, I got to, I still have to workshop that.

Let's take this from the top. I didn't know it was a, lots of boobs in my face party. Can we do that from the top one more time? I still work. I didn't know it was a boob hanging out party. I know Jamie Lee Curtis. Okay, that's a print.

Print it. There we go. There we go's a print. Print it. There we go. Print it, found it. So Kyle's looking at the cake, which is a big Birken bag. And to be like, oh, the first bacon. Kyle almost takes it by that of it, which is actually her custom everything that she does with the Birken bag.

She's like, I just want to eat the Birken bag every time I see one. So, um, so the Eric is like, oh, hi, I'm gonna eat, I'm gonna have to jump a queen. What is that? And she's like, it's fintied, you know? I don't know why I wrote that down, because it's like, that's could be the whole episode

that's been saying stuff like that. So everybody's party and Garsell arrives with the boys and everybody's like, ha, ha, ha ha party party isn't this fun? It's like don't don't don't don't a horrible human being is pulling up And she's got a horrible human being that's much younger that she's married to And they're both in horrible fur coats So they're really ruining the Diana's really ruining the fun of having Lonnie Love and Sherry Shepherd on screen.

So she walks in and she's like, I think that car said already has this idea of me. But my guess is that my guess is that I'm a diva maybe, but I want to show up and on on her birthday. Honestly, I really do. Which is why I've decided to arrive with my husband looking like cartoon villains. Yeah. And then no one can call me rude.

It's like, honey, if that's going to be your biggest, like, if you're going to hold on to that, you're never going to make it on this show. I mean, seriously, now you're going to be mad that someone suggested it was rude when you were being fucking rude at dinner. Yeah. So, Asher looks like a washed up Johnny Deppin' personator, which is fine, you know, you do you.

But it's just so hard to believe that that's Chip from Beauty and the Beast. Like, this is like every parent's worst nightmare. It's like your Chip and then you're this guy, you know, being dragged around by some old lady. Yeah. Yeah. And a horrible like hat and for it's like, struggle. A little lady and she's my age. It was wood.

So, um, that was wood. So she just walks in choosing violence, right? Like she has chosen violence this day. She's going to come in. I think someone told her like, you're boring as fuck. You tried to swim away. You pretended you got a jellyfish staying, which I don't think anybody even believes at this point.

And you have to do something. Okay, this isn't about how much money you have. You have to be entertaining. So I think at this point, she's like, okay, I'm just gonna be a total asshole, no matter what. Yeah, so, and Garsell's like, well, I know there's a language barrier for Diana, so maybe the doctor didn't say bed rest, maybe just said take a nap.

Anyway, I'm happy the bitch rallied. And then she's walking through with Asher. They're both like, they're feathered, fur things are flowing, and she's walking through with Asher. They're both like, they're feathered fur things are flowing. And she's like, dead. It's definitely dead indeed. Mm. Yeah.

Oh, what the attendance is someone's invite birthday party is a shut up. So I'm sorry that this party that was filmed during Omicron wasn't filled with capacity. Sorry, sorry that people decide they might wanna stay home, Diana. Right. So then Ash, Ash didn't solve fake, of course.

He's like, oh, the birthday girl, be our guest, be our guest, put our something to the test. Yeah, I did that. And she's like, oh, welcome. I didn't think you were gonna come. And he's like, well, welcome. I didn't think you were gonna come. And he's like, well, we just had to push her out the door together here.

We were like, push, push, get outta here. And by push her out the door is more like, I wanna be on TV, Diana. So let me have this moment, okay? Put on the matching fur I got you. It's okay for another to do this for you. Yeah, so she's like, can I show you something? I have something very important to got you. Okay, for another to disful you. Yeah, so she's like, um, can I show you something? I have something very important to show you. And Garsell's like, okay, so Diana

has brought her her book, but it looks like it's in a glass case. And it looks like the top of a coffin at a funeral, which I don't know if that was like her nod to Galein or what, but. Well, either way, it's a copy of her book from 23 and she's like, it's actually a where we had book to find. The book is sold out, you know, all 10 copies. And it's a very limited edition. So I gave her one of mine. Thankfully, it still have the print shop file on my computer. I was able to point it out and bring to Kinkos. So it's a very special book. Yeah, it's an episode. Her whole time comes out and just starts swallowing her face.

And Garstell's like, well, that's nice, but it would have been nicer to get it back. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So people are like, are you good, Garstell? Are you good? I'm fine, I'm fine. I like that everybody's ready to have Garsell's back. They're like, she fucking with you.

It's like, no, no, everything's fine. So Sutton says hi to her and she's like, you know, to us, she says, you know, when you're on your deathbed and then two days later, she's ready to party. So maybe Jesus came, I don't know, because Jesus did that. He would heal people very quickly like that it's possible Jesus still heals okay and if you don't believe it then better stop you better stop it if you're not believing okay as Jesus said you better stop it you better stop it so then we got a crystal in

Erica and Erica's like oh you know going on, but it's one positive now I was talking to my lawyer before I got here. He said is it true? You told guys to slide in the DM You know, I said yeah, I'm gonna lie to shit. He said well, why don't you let me vet him? Erica's rewrite of history is Holy area suck. Oh call you know just funny. Now that I'm acquitted and no one thinks anything bad of me. So we got a grissel and she's telling Kyle. She's like, well, Kathy sent me the most beautiful cake or card.

I wrote cake, but I'm thinking it must be card because who sends a cake? But very sweet. And she's not coming. And she said she's in Pasadena. I don't know. All I saw was Pasadena. And crowd was like, Oh, that, okay. So my mom and we were younger. If she didn't want to go somewhere, this is like she just couldn't. If she was like, I just care. She would say, I'm going to Pasadena, baby. Pasadena. You know what that means? I'm gonna pass That's not funny. Kathy hates you

I like Kyle saying that as if like Her mom's the one who's ever said that so then Now we have Oliver coming in and he meets Erica and Crystal And I was like, well, he's hot. That's the short one. Wait till he finds out that I've been recruited for an all-female baseball team where no crying is allowed. Erica, that's the league of their own. So it is.

So it is. You know what every young hot guy gets turned on by when like an older lady goes, that's my giant! Oh wow, I'm gonna be out of five thousand. So, gag me with a spoon, baby. Wow, this party's on fleek. Learned that one from Kyle. So then, we see the Birken bags. Oh, cause someone's like, I'll love your Berk and cake or whatever. And grisels like, well, it's only what I'm gonna ever have. And Chris was like, no, manifest, manifest. Look, I manifested and look what I got.

You cut Storob just being like Saturday night fever in the middle of the dance floor. Like, and then there's more talk about Garcell dating, Will Smith, etc. Because they're all meeting Shari, etc. And then over the other side of the corner, Kyle is doing the most predictable thing, which is fully salivating over Diana's jewelry. She's just like looking at the jewelry and the bag and Kyle's like, why do I have my ugly dumb bag instead of this? Oh my God.

You, I feel, I'm so sorry for Mauricio, because he spent a lot of money later that night when she got home, you just know it. Yeah, Birkin online or whatever. So Diane is like, oh, did you see the diamonds on it? Did you see the diamonds? And Ash is like, yeah, honestly, ever since I've known Diana,

she's been collecting Birken bags. It's a funny story, right? Hello, Yossash, or hello? I hate Asher now. How did I like him the first episode? I don't know how you liked him. And now I hate his guts. Like, I'm not even Luke Warman him.

Like, I literally hate him now. It's amazing what like I had an afro can do She started dressing like that band member from the Muppets right and inspire hate if you don't have the the gold tooth in the front of your mouth Yeah, I said that Constantine try try Ruliss You hear it from you So Diana is like you know there's a funny picture of me going around with me and my friends. When the fires were happening in Malibu, we had maybe five, ten minutes, and there's like a twokful of Burkens, a Banksy's, and Jury, and Asher's like, look what she's saving!

Burkens and diamonds and and bank sees. Oh my. Am I ready? I did say oh my at the end. You have to have a mind. Yes, I should. Asher, is my story? Uh-huh. Okay.

Sorry, honey. I'm like I said. So I said Brookings and diamonds and bank sees. Oh my! Can't see you see? I'm like, how can you not say it? You know, it's actually pretty good. It's pretty, this is why I keep him around we work well together

Not now honey not now okay Not now. I'm telling my bookings diamonds and banks is story I love when someone who just talks about how charitable they are at all times. And all they do is think about others and they're poor childhood growing up in a war zone. Gotcha. The whole city is burning down. People are dying. And she's like, and then I got to Bucke and send a bank see

smooth. You need to pick a lane, you know? Like you need to pretend which person you're gonna fake being. Because you can't be all of this. You can take all of my bookings and bank season diamonds and you won't have taken anything that's math as just kidding, you'll take everything that matters.

Diamonds and books and some bank season. Oh my. Thank you for trying, Connie. At least you're trying. So then we go over to Sheree and she's holding court with all the ladies on the couches. And Sheree's like, okay, well, 2020 was an airsoftly goes, terrible. Well, yeah, somebody, I mean, what are we going to talk 2021?

Because it was all bad. It is all been bad. Unless we're talking about the news show in which case I say, you down? What a hotter, am I right, everyone? And she's like, well, okay, it was bad, and it was bad for a lot of people. A lot of people like me, because it's so for me. Like good luck with this crew, you know? I know.

She's like, um, excuse me, I practiced this little spiel I'm about to do, so could you just let me do it, Erica? Thank you so much. She's like like, you know it was a bad year, but it was also I think a spiritual awakening and this is gonna sound crazy But ladies I made peace with my vagina And there he goes were you at war with your vagina? Were you with a trip so was your vagina just droning on and on. I was that. So she's like, yeah, well, I was told not to ever touch it.

And so I go, no, whatever told me that. In fact, when people were talking to me about my vagina, I would just say, shut up, shut up right now. Stop lying about my vagina. Narik is like, I was told them to let other people touch it. And if they do, tell them you can touch this, but you gotta do it in the patterns that your pin coat goes in when you're at the bank.

Listen, don't ask the reats has been, I don't like the way on the way. And apparently he looked at my pussy all night long. God, that was a long interrogation by Newman. That's basic instinct now so they start cracking up and we see a clip of PK just you know of course the Vanderpump being me oh Erica I might need to borrow some pan cheesy and PK being like So Andrew it's like well when something is right here. How do you avoid it? How do you avoid it? It's like Pringles for PK

So then PK walks up and Eric is like oh my god I'm cute and he's like aunt. my god, that don't kill. And he's like, aren't I always? And Shree says, do you know what word you walked in on? She said pussy and you walked right in. And he's like, that's not nice. Yeah, and Garust, I go, well, they were talking about you because, I mean, never mind. And he goes, well, this pussy's going to leave rot now because they just refilled the French onion dip. Goodbye.

So then Kyle's now talking to Diana. Kyle's like, hmm, so Diana, your text message, I almost died, dead on the floor. Do you want to get angry right now? Do you want to get angry at Sun? Because it'd be really fun to do that right now. And she's like, well, here's the thing with me though, I don't do jobs, I do the nooks.

I was like, how was that a nook? That was a jab. It was a lame jab. That was the definition of a jab. She goes, bring it on. Karma. Bring it with bazookas. Let's go. I'm very in curls like direct. She goes direct. So she's like, Oh, yeah. That's a very indirect way to saying I'm very direct. Yeah. Having someone else say it for you. Right. So girls like, well, and then on the plane, I sat on this bench because to saying I'm very direct. Yeah, I think someone else say it for you Right, so girls like well, and then on the plane I sat on this bench because like I don't care like what a why care would would see them gonna be on On your private plane. I'm just so grateful to be there. Can I hold your personal? I'm talking. Well, thank you Yeah, so I was on the bench, but then set was so upset because she said that you told her to go back to receive Diana's like You know how I sorted her on my phone. I said bacon eating vegetarian

I'm Reese goes haha That was pretty funny. That was pretty funny I de Kyle being classic Kyle just throwing something under the bus with Diana and a Kyle being classic Kyle just throwing something under the bus with Diana and she's like, you know what, I've learned from me it's better to take the breath before because I can really come on like, destruction. Okay, and I was like, take a breath, take a breath, and Marie she goes, take it slowly, and then you attack, because then you can. So they start laughing and Kyle is loving this, right? But, you know, of course, she's gonna be coming for her

if she gets a season two. So then also from Shaz. So Garsell is blows out the candles and thank God saves us from the housewife's speech and she says, let's dance. So we see like a big dancing thing and Diana is like, oh my God, this is bag. We can't just have it here. It's worth a quarter of a million dollars. People might, you know, it's like,

oh, you're afraid that people are going to steal the cigar sales house. You really cannot win one scene. I have to say, like, yeah, I then ask her really everything she does is so gross. I didn't ask her. Look, everything she does is so gross. And then Asher goes, uh, want me to put it in the car? Asher, do you not know about Los Angeles? Like, you're gonna put a quarter of a million dollar person in a car, just to hang out in a car?

Like, I'm assuming the drivers in the car, they're not driving. Well, I don't know. Literally every single person I know, including me, has had stuff still went out of their car. We don't have drivers. You know, we've got it. I'm not worried about it.

Don't defend Asher on this, please. Just suspend disbelief and just pretend they're in a Toyota Camry out parked out front in the two-hour parking on sunset. Okay, go on La Siena-Gut. Yes, and beyond this, this please Roddy. Please. Yes, you're right. You're right. I'm not in the car.

You're totally right. So like you don't understand rich people. It's true, right? It's true. What a weird way to come at you. Sorry. No, that's fine. No.

No, there was a flaw. There was a flaw in my logic. I neglected to think about it. But who am I? What am I, the flaw catcher? Okay, I'm not. Well, I there was a flaw. There was a flaw in my logic. I think I like to think I'm a driver. What am I the flock at your okay? I'm not well, I'm not a Floor, I'm a flower. I'm a flower. Every time you know every time you're like so then it was two 30 and like actually Ronnie instead of two 28 so I'm top super important. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial.

time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then we get a scene of crystal earning every bit of money that she gets with Rob out there dancing like, it's not even dad dancing. I don't even know what you would call it. It's like bad. I don't uncle, Uncle dancing. I don't know. It's bad. It's a video game dancing. Yeah, and Crystal's like, yeah, our friends. Yeah. It's like an NPC in the background of Rentath Auto that you run over to the pub.

So she says her friends call him hip hop rob. She's like, swear to God. I was like, yeah, because he's rich. Because a poor person's friends would be like, get your husband. And then, uh, guess what? Kyle does the splits. And she's like, every time I say, I'm never going to do the splits again, something happens. I don't know what it is. Oh, actually, I can't explain some of the methodology behind it. See, like, when you're a working actress in the number one movie in America, sometimes just like, joy overwhelms you. And you're so used to ducking under Michael Myers' knife

that like a split is the fastest way to get down to the ground. So it sort of makes sense, you know? I hope one day I can invite Kyle to a party and just put rap boys and all over the ground I'm just see what happens some mouse traps. Yeah, I'm gonna happen then So she's like I do have other tricks. I can wrap my head around my I can wrap my ankle around my neck But that costs money So Erica's just sadly dancing at the bar by herself. She's like gyrating But like awkwardly the bar by herself. She's like gyrating, but like awkwardly, but like by herself, giving Kumiel a run for her money I have to say in the awkward dancing segments of this show.

And so then sudden pulls Diana for a talk and as they're going off, Cal goes, oh my God, I feel so uncomfortable. I'm like, bitch, you're the one who just talked to Diana and was like, by the way, Sun's been saying this stuff about you. Like, you're only uncomfortable because you created an uncomfortable situation.

Yes. I want to take a moment. Bam, bam, bam. Take a moment. So Garso went on watch what happens live. You know, and you say like little snarky things or whatever. And so this is Diana posting on Instagram. Dear Gossel, next time you go on national television, why don't you educate viewers on

how many times I went to Haiti, your home country? Why don't you tell them how many claims full of first aid and medical supplies I sent to Haiti? Why don't you tell viewers how many millions of my dollars I have given to your country? A woman from Bosnia did that. Also you could have mentioned all the money I gave, I have given and everything I've done for women rights in Congo and other 100% black communities. You are very familiar with all the work I've done for human rights all over the globe.

And then she comments on her own post and says, PS Crystal is not a liar. Fuck off. Like, she really has a way to get a word. She's really doing great job. Doing great job there on social media. She's just terrible. Diana, girl, this is the time we need to try and be

repairing all the shit that you have unleashed and this is what you post. Her advanced team her advanced team needs to disconnect all the Wi-Fi wherever she is because the more she's on Instagram the more of a fool she exposes herself to be. Oh I'm embarrassing. So now here we are we're setting in Diana so I'm like okay I wanted to talk to you first how are you doing that really care I just wanted to check on you wanted to check on you because you were on bed rest and now you're here and that's confusing and wish you clear that up. That is so fake.

Like this is such an asshole way to start a conversation. Yes. You're saying like, oh, so you were on bed rest, but that's confusing. Let's carry it out. It's like such an asshole move and yet like she's going to be the one who's on, who's not, who's not. We're on. So that I should be, I should clear up that time on,

that I should be in bed in that time here. And she tells us, she obviously feels very high of herself. And she feels like I owe her something. You want to see my doctor notice? Maybe that will help. And so Diane is like, okay, let's try 12 weeks ago. I lost a baby and said, because I've got no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I mean this because I've had two miscarriages, so I understand.

It's more than that. It's more than that. She's like, don't do the phone-ish it, by the way. Fick doesn't work with me. Okay, bring it on. Bring it on. Bring it on. No, Asha, you do not get a call back for the latest bring it on.

Move, you can sit back down. Now, I'm dumping nice. We are done. I'm ready for you to meet Nudayama, also from Bosnia, who's donated lots of money to black people. Um, so, certain's like, um, but you can't say anything. And trying to say, ah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, say, ah, bap what I really want to hear? I'm a Bosnian. I'm the test girl. That's what I want to hear from you. She was, oh, do you want to me to butt at you? Do you want to me to butt at you? Is that a veil of reference? You want to watch TV in the 90s and laugh at it? Is that what you're saying? I'm confused.

She's like, no, I was just saying saying I'm sorry that you were on bedrest. She's like, oh, you are not sorry. You are the fakes person I've ever met in my life, literally. Also, by the way, you're boring. I can forgive everything, but I cannot forgive being boring. You are calling somebody boring? You have you watched this show, ma'am? Yeah, and so suddenly goes, I'm not boring at all.

And they're like, you are really boring. That's not nice. Yeah, that's not nice. And then I go, you know what I would wear? You and Garseo on the front of the boat. I was talking about my most painful moment in my life. And I was like, oh, fake, the fake going up. And so I walked off. So Diana's

like, she talks a lot, but I don't think that she listens. That to me is not someone who has empathy. And she goes, well, yes, when your brother died in Bosnia, I remember that because it resonated with me. So I'm different. Say I'm fake. Just all you are, you are, you are, you're thick Sounds like I'm not a fake person. Okay, I don't have fake lips. I don't have thick boobs. I don't have fake everything Okay, I'm very real. She is fake So projection okay, so inside Rebea is like mmm Diana's going in on the sun So Kyle of course comes out, of course, comes out.

You know, it's like all Kyle's favorite. So Kyle comes out and says, like, Kyle, we do not need this right now. We don't need that. And Kyle goes, need, what? And sits down. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She's like, I need to talk to her one on one right now

and Kyle just shrugs and crosses her legs. Like, I'm staying bitch. Yeah. So ourselves, like, what's happening over here? her legs. Like, I'm staying bitch. Yeah. So ourselves, like, what's happening over here? And Diana's like, I just told her, she's boring. And Diana's like making powdery faces and like shimmying and like, can someone bring her a menu with crayons? Or what, who is she even right now?

I know, and Sun goes, what? And Diana goes, I'm rude. Well, I said, I said you're rude because the reed was trying to gauge with you and you shut her down. She goes, take a swing at me. Go. What is the problem you have with me? She's like, I don't have a problem with you. You don't, you don't.

And she goes, you've got a chip on your shoulder and that's got nothing to do with me And she goes oh, not safe huge huge chip actually I'm married a chip not one wet Call it goes no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no different dynamic. Okay, the bad rest did you good? And she goes, let me tell you something. We're all bacon eating vegetarians. Oh my gosh. Shut up with errors. Like, why is that? Why does she think that's such a huge fucking diss? Like, it's... I did think it was funny though. I actually chuckled when she said that just because it was like, of course, she's going to bring it up right there. And

son getting so mad. I know. Stop with that bacon eating vegetarian. Shut up with that. And Garth sells like, what does that have to do with everything? bring it up right there and son getting so mad. I know. Stop it up, I can even register. Shut up with that. And Garth sells like, what does that have to do with everything? Because she goes, it and it goes, it's cheap to make fun of someone eating bacon. Cheap. And then Garth was like, no, no, it's important

because a Diana is saying, don't be this person when you're not this person, because you know, like be real. And Garstel's like, so what? So you're saying it shows her integrity because she likes bacon and Diana goes, yes, it does. Kyle is working very hard for a free-burken bag. So she is gonna defend everything that Diana says, right?

So Kyle's like, well, let's reassess the situation. Okay, first, everyone here who's been in a number one box office hit in the past month, raise your hand, okay? All right, just me, okay, good. Reassessment complete, continue the argument. So, some say, well, I was trying to have a very massive conversation. Oh, were you by saying, like, oh, you're totally lying

about being sick and here you are. Let's talk about it. So, Gressel asked about what, she's like, oh, no, you're totally lying about being sick and here you are. Let's talk about it. So Grecel asked about what, and she's like, I said, I'm sorry about you being on bedrest. And Diane is like, oh, you're so eat that with stuff. Fick, you're so thick. Well, Diana, that's kind of shitty. If she's apologizing, you know, you just met her,

it's fake. So, a sudden, it's like puts her hand on Diana's knee to be like, now you listen to me. And she's like, don't touch me. Don't touch me. I'm allergic to dust. Dust and hands. Don't touch me.

Wow. And a sudden didn't move her hand. She just kept it right there. And Diana's like, oh, really? Crascel, what are you, her her bodyguard are you her mouthpiece because I know she's very old and frail I get it you're the same age okay she just doesn't have an entire pool full of you know inflatable toys melted down and injected into fucking face I know I know exactly.

So Garcels, like, well, that's bullshit. I mean, you're being really mean right now. And then he goes, I am, and Garcels, and you know what, you're not gonna, what you're not gonna do, is mess up my birthday party. So good night. So Garcels just goes off, back to our other guests. Yeah, so Diana's smiling, squinting.

I think Garcels goes in son goes, and he goes, what a bitch! Where's my bag? And she goes like, woo, holy shit you guys, holy shit you guys. And so I'm like, well, I think we're done here. You're an asshole. And she goes like, no, no, Satan, come on.

She makes her sit back down, like she's like physically blocking her from leaving. And so I'm like, no, sit and come on. She makes her sit back down like she's like physically blocking her from leaving and Sun's like, yes, she's an asshole and you know what? I've got your number and Diana goes, oh, I gave it to you That's why the very first day I gave you my number and Sun's like, oh, I see it 865309 got it Got it You know that Diana had no idea what you're talking about at that moment. No, that's actually not my wheeling number. I love a good karaoke disc because you know that's why I said knows that by heart.

I know. So meanwhile, Erica is in the other part of the party and she goes up to like the like a waiter or like a manager. She's like, hey, hey friend. You know what I'm saying? You gotta break the rules. Okay, just give me a mark ofita, like you've been feeding me. Oh, nah, please love, thank you so much.

I don't know the magarita. Now, I'm gonna defend Erica here. I feel like they're trying to make her look like she is a full on alcoholic who needs to be in an after school special. I'm like, no, she's at a boring party. I'm on to margarita. I think everyone is entitled to pull over someone from the way staff just begged for margarita

once in a while. That's entitled. You're entitled to that. So, Garsel comes back and she's like, girls, do you do miss anyone? I mean, is anyone missing? And they're like, oh, she, I don't know Lisa. Diabetes? Denise. Denise is missing. And Erica goes, I told you, bitch! I told you! What? Ha ha ha!

Where'd that come from? What's happening with Erica? I told you! I told you Gersel's like I'm good. I'm good. I'm not And Gersel's like whoa whoa whoa. I'm good. I'm good. I'm not a punk ass and I'm good Okay, I told you she will never show up. I told you she would never believe me She would never be here. She's not a friend this fucking bitch So it's like wow, so she's like you know what?

Garsell goes yeah, well, I'm good. Oh, yeah Well, you better be because if you're not you're a fucking punk ass. Oh, yeah That's why she says I'm not a punk ass bitch. Yes, and then Erica's like talking like she's from like 1950s, because if you let this fucking broad I'm on you over three times. Well, I gotta say you better stop going steady with her Okay, because modern McFly is sexy and I want him to take me to the prom and then uh garsell tells us oh my god calm down I told you so where did that come from she's never told me so so sudden is so then sudden meanwhile is still talking with Diana their fight is still going on because Kyle won't let suddenly setting has tried to get up now, I think twice, right?

So she's like, okay, well, just go back to your passive aggressive ridiculousness, I guess. And she's, oh, no passive, I'm a gressive. Ah. And yes, and the sun's like, yeah, well, go back to your texting. And she's not passive aggressive, oh, a gressive. She's, it was passive aggressive, okay? No.

No. Everyone else thought it was bad. I love when son just says no out of nowhere. She'll just like interrupt her own sentence and go, no. And she goes, everyone thought it was bad. I'm the only one who spoke up. It's like the jalapeno.

You think that mother would go around murdering everybody's chung if I hadn't said something. And Carl goes, no, no. You ever see a Kepler elf holding a jalapeno? No, you absolutely do not see it. That's because jalapenos do not belong, even cookies, case closed. And Carl's like, well, I don't know.

I just don't think it was very passive. I think it was like a boom. Shut up, Kyle. Like what do you even win from the, by the way, it was so passive aggressive. It was not aggressive at all. It was her saying, I'm only saying this because Garcell will think I'm a bitch. And I am so glad that said an answered like this because I hate that on these shows.

And in real life too, when people are like this, it's like, oh, me, me, me, me. They list all of their traumas, you know, whether they're real or not doesn't even matter. It's like you're saying you're not coming to a party, you know, do you have to bring in all of this other stuff? You know and so I love this set and was like well, yeah, but you can't really respond to a text It's like wham wham wham I'm on bed rest and then she goes all of a sudden how I said it to you wow wow wow honey to you. Wa wa wa, honey. Bap bap bap bap. And then she goes, honey, I get birth to a dead baby 12 weeks ago. And so I go, oh, here we go. Oh, is that too much information for you? And so I go, I actually have empathy for that. No, you don't. How dare you question my empathy. How dare you? And now, sudden does

this thing where she's going to go from being really unraged to being So offended that she can only speak in soft tones And she's like how dare you question my empathy? Oh, I have It's my empathy and Diana laughs like a big villain laugh and then says you are you are a soulless person. And it goes like, stop, stop, stop, stop. You can't say she's soulless. That's a really main thing to say to Kyle, what she said about my empathy. It really, really reminds me of the amount of empathy

I had the day that Dari nearly lost her life because my designer was stuck in Paris. I mean, the empathy I have for my designer that day was just through the roof, Kyle. You are soulless. Oh, you need a new villain? Here I am. I mean, look, no lies detected. Diana was definitely doing the villain thing.

She was full on villain mode, which I really actually enjoyed. She's an asshole, but I really enjoyed her villainy in this moment. Again, don't like her real life villainy, but we'll just have to see how this all shakes out. I think she is also gonna be a one and done because I think- She said, she said, try hard.

This is a real personality. She's just trying to come up with stuff at this point, how do desperate- Oh, I think it's a real personality because, you know, old Queen in the bar, we know an old Queen in the bar who's had to deal with Diana and has had only said the worst things about her. Yeah. So, so I think this is, I think she is heinous in real life. Well, I'm not saying she's not heinous and, you know, I'm just saying like, it just seems very put on that all of a sudden,

she's this, you know, like she goes from like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to this. It's like, like, oh, such a m'yeld at me. She like crazy lady in a fur coat matching her twink, you know? Yeah. So it's who knows. But yeah, whether it's fake or not, she sucks.

She's truly an asshole. So good for her, I guess. You did that. Did that, did that. Well everyone, thanks so much for listening and watching. I'm sorry I've been in shadows. I've been trying to get myself out of the shadows all episode and it's just getting worse and worse.

So I apologize to those who are watching that. What you do in the shadows. Thanks for being here, everybody. We will talk to you next time. Oh, by the way, just for those of you who aren't here for every recap, we will not be taking a break for Beverly Hills. We'll be back for Beverly Hills.

So never mind, we'll talk to you next time. Girls trips, recaps, are posted. They're on our Patreon until next week. Um, the most recent two. And um, we hope you have a great holiday. We'll be all about you. Okay, do not go outside. The Santa Zeeful. Okay.

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