Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: I Nose What You Did Last Season

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back, and there's so much to talk about: Crytal, Kathy, goldfish, Halloween injuries. We don't know where to start! Come join us! Also, don't just listen to the recap, watch it too with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/51461598/Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronny Karim. What's going on Ronnie? Hi, Pam. Hi. Happy real house. Why's it Beverly Hills premiere day? Yeah, happy premiere day. Everybody is so glad Beverly Hills is back. I can't wait to see how Erica has been victimized by all of this very exciting

No one knows what goes on in my life. I was like oh God here we go Wow, yeah, Beverly Hills the premiere it premiered. It's back very exciting Before we dive into it just a heads up that this is yet another crap is on demand episode We also did Roni as our crap is on demand this week So if you want to watch us podcast not just listen to us go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends and You can watch us so hi So Roni is back. Roni is back. I'm sorry not Roni. Well Roni is back But also Beverly Hills is back Ronnie. What is back. I'm sorry not Roni. Well Roni is back, but also Beverly Hills is back.

Ronnie, what did you think about the premiere episode? I was glad to have it back. You know, it's very very Beverly Hills still. I don't really have that much of an overall thought except here we are back with Beverly Hills where every scene is like, you look so good, you look so gorgeous. You look amazing. You have a great. And we've even got a new asshole added to the bunch. This lady is a dick.

Okay, I'm saying it right now. This crystal is a monster of a human. This is like my worst kind of human being. The person who looks down on every single person because she fucking somebody more famous. It is the grossest and it's so Hollywood for people to be like that. Like, I'm fucking someone more famous than you are,

which makes me better than you. Yeah. No, it makes your husband better than me, but you better back the hell down, lady. I don't know who you think you are. So I'm already anti-crystal, which actually feels quite good to have a new possible villain. Yeah, I actually thought quite good to have a new, a new possible villain.

Yeah. I actually thought the premiere was really good. I was really enjoying it. I thought the, the energy was, was good. I thought it was really funny. Even Kyle, I didn't mind. She wasn't pissing me off. I was like, am I liking Kyle now? Is, did she get a new nose? And it's like new nose, new personality. I don't know. I'm not going to commit to that. But I was like, oh, this was a, I, Kyle was making gonna commit to that, but I was like, oh, this was a... Kyle was making me laugh. And Chris, I was like, oh, Crystal is like an asshole. And I was like, thank you. Thank you for giving us an asshole because this show needs an outright asshole like that, because they're all like, they're all, I mean, they're all assholes, but they are being, they're like, nice, nice assholes. But we need someone who's just like an outright asshole.

So I agree with you. I think she's a total jerk, but I'm not anti-crystal because I'm already excited to see how much of an asshole she's going to be into these women. She's such an asshole and I was cracking up. But I always have a twisted view on these shows. I'm always drawn to the assholes and people like that. And then, you know, it's... Well, we love a villain on on these shows, for sure.

We definitely need one. And I'm getting sick of Rina's villain stick. So it's nice to have like a new villain. Yeah, exactly. That's why I was excited. I was like, yes. Now the danger is... Now the danger is...

Now the danger is... Now the danger is... Now the danger is... Now the danger is... Now the danger is... Now the danger is... Now the danger is... Nice. Nice. Right. The danger is and what looks like is going to happen for the trailer is she becomes friends with the mean girls, which I don't need like the whole mean girls to have more to work against the people I actually like on the show. So we'll see how it pans out. But for right now, yeah, it was very refreshing to have someone new where I was like, Oh, you're a dick. Yeah you. Thank you. Because we're coming to work today. Yeah, also because Bravo has been pretty good

about giving us new people that you kind of root for. In the past few years, we had Denise, we had Garsell, we have Ebony, we've had Wendy, like people that generally, I mean, not saying that it's a monolith that everyone loves all these people, but generally speaking, they've been like, oh, we like this person. Like, thank you for bringing on a new asshole.

Like, it's actually been a while since Bravo was like, we're gonna give you an asshole. We're gonna give you an asshole. If you really think about it, when was the last time Bravo gave us a new asshole? So I'm excited. She's not even gonna try. She's not even gonna try to pretend it first.

Cause usually people try and pretend it first and you're like, oh, you're an asshole. But no, she's starting right out with like, I'm not even gonna try. She's not even gonna try to pretend it first. Cause usually people try and pretend it first and you're like, oh, you're an asshole. But no, she's starting right out with like, I'm an asshole. Like, like, just out of the gates, asshole. Like, like, yeah, you know, I mean, we've had like, we know we had a little bit of Vargas, who's kind of like an asshole, but like, not quite, and not really, like, she's just like,

she wasn't me, anybody. Yeah, no, no, it's just sort of crazy, you know, well, she bought the Ferrari, just for the sake of buying a Ferrari, which is kind of an asshole thing, but like, this is the first like asshole in a while. I just found it very refreshing. Yeah. Okay, so we start with Kyle! Kyle! Kyle, how are you? Walking into Kyle's house and Porsche's there in Tied Ishe. Like my mom's upstairs, heavily breathing lady. She's like, well, I'm 12 now, so I finally enter the phase where I hit my mother.

So go upstairs. And in true Kyle fashion, she has now taken something from another housewife, which is leopard print. So she has now made her staircase leopard print in honor of Lisa Rina. So, oh my god, I love leopard. I love staircase is that leopard? Just like me, you stole from me. I love that. So Kyle's like come in and Kyle has had a nose job, okay? And Rina's like, did it hurt? Did it hurt? Let me hit it. Can I hit it?

Does it hurt? Does it hurt now? Does it hurt now? She was, how did you break it again? Well, it was filming the movie Halloween, the film. Some people still call it movies, but it was it's the film. The film Halloween. Which I'm in.

Yeah, I was filming the film Halloween part of cinema's greatest franchise and something flew back and just hit me in the face. I could have sworn it was just someone's fist, but later on they said it was a camera. I don't know. I hardly remember it, but unfortunately, I, I, I now had to get a nose job. I, yes, thank you. I found out later it was actually a tomato. So, being nice to your crew.

Okay. But yeah, I have a cute nose now. And I do have to say extremely cute nose. Okay. I think Kyle looks fantastic. We ragged on Kyle so badly last season for her styling. And I think that Kyle looks really really good It is a cute nose and she just she's rebounded. Okay. I hate to be so up with Kyle at the beginning of a season, but

You do you gotta give props you gotta get props I think And then throw them in Kyle's face so she can have an excuse to give a much like the much like the thing that broke her nose I don't know what it was you know when you're a busy actress working on Halloween Things can sometimes go flying in your face. It's hard. It's a live set You know it could be it could have been someone's fist. It could have been someone's shoe It could have it could have been my sister Kim who is angry that I guess was having a more successful acting career than her now I don't know what it could have been. And you know you're married to the right husband when your Kyle and your husband is

Instagramming you while you're under the knife. He's like, oh, look, I hope mommy's going to be cute or huh? You know, I thought the elbow lift would do it, but I didn't really do it. You know, so I'm asking the doctor while she's at it. He'll just put her nostrils on her cancels and call it a day, you know, because I don't want to just get it all done at one time, you know what I'm saying? Oh, man, I just also love Kyle's ability to blame everything that happens with her appearance on filming Halloween.

Well I was filming Halloween, so I had to get bang, so, you know, oh, I had a nose job, well, because I was filming Halloween so I had to get bang so you know, oh I had a nose job. Well, because I was filming Halloween. Full body lift. You know what Michael Myers does to your bodies? I mean, it is not pretty. Halloween. So, sorry, so Kyle premieres her, she debuts her new nose and she basically says that all she has been doing lately has been eating soup and

bed and shopping online, which I feel like is not that different from what she was doing before the nose job, but yeah. Let me go. Yeah. I mean, it's what I do every day, except substitute the soup for ice cream and, you know, substitute the cute new nose to the old Lebanese nose. We're the same people. We're the same people now.

Celebrities, they're just like us. So speaking of season of broke people getting their due, this year we're getting Eric up. God, I cannot wait for the Duret season when Duret just goes to jail. And I actually like to read now. I don't have any hatred for Duret, but Jesus, this woman is so foolish. I mean, we start off this new season with Dorite driving her new McLaren. I am so sure. I guess so. Yes.

Thank you. Her it's rental car. She's like, oh, I have a new McLaren. I had it cost $275,000. And so she's with Erica and Erica's dressed up like she's still men. The way is both of them all in one. And, uh, and she's like, Erica's like the way is both of them all in one and She's like, er, cuz like well, I've never been in one of these you you've never been in one of these

Like chill out bitch. You know what? It's like a toy car Like 30 accents so and Erica's like She's like oh yes, we know we've got we've all got our little bubbles that we're living in being with the kids There's something magical about it Did you know that I have two children to them? Turns out the little girl who kept coming by asking for food. Actually came out of me. Oh!

Sarah here goes, yes, little man, it's been nice. You know, Tom and I have had dinner every night at the kitchen table. And it was so nice to talk and reconnect in a way and talk every night, except for anything going on with his business because he doesn't talk to me about that. And I know nothing about it whatsoever. So we did talk every night except for anything going on with his business because he doesn't talk to me about that I know nothing about it whatsoever. So we did talk every night But we have no idea what's going on in his business. He's just a poor poor lawyer without any any clients right now That's all I know that's all I know and

Erica is wearing a big huge blazer in her diary room session, like a big bright red blazer. And I think this is taped her interview section seems to be taped after everything's happened because she's just so fucking depressed in it. She looks crazy. Like her outfit is just crazy. It's like saved by the bell crazy. Her eye makeup doesn't work I mean it is so funny. She's like oh I was on such a wrong. I had to best sell a book. I was on Broadway. I don't even this happy you listen I don't make rib I don't have sourdough I'm basically a not a very interesting person is what I'm saying and what my own devices, I don't even know how to entertain myself like all the

rest of the world knew how. That's basically what she was saying. I feel like her look was like I feel like it was a rejected concept for the mask. That's what I feel like. So now we go on to it was was very the mask about Jack it was. Get it mustard, get it mustard and we'll have a deal. It was like draft number one. I was like the wardrobe department brought it to Jim Care and he's like, ah, I think I'm

going to go for something else. They're like, okay, we'll just, we'll just put this somewhere and sort of float it off into a gutter and then like arrived at Eric as house 20 years later. So, so then we go back to Rina and she's like, I haven't seen any of the girls. I can't wait to see Erica and Doree. I can't wait. So then, and Kyle is talking about how she went

on vacation with Doree to Mexico and how, how basically PK and Mo have a romance now that's hilarious. and a competition about who's the hotter husband and it just cuts to watch what happens live where there was a poll and it was 44% Mauricio and 0% BK. And Carl's talking about how she is thinking of reaching out to Garcell and Brita's like oh I haven't seen Garcell. Oh gosh And over a year I'm having dinner with her. I had dinner with Garcell. It's gonna be so fun I thought I was gonna see her in that coming to America movie that you talked about so much, but she was only in it for one frame

That's crazy. That's crazy. But good for her. Good for her. Kyle's like, oh, for some reason, she unfollowed me after the last time we all spoke. I mean, for some reason, some reason she did that. I wonder why? Oh, Kyle and Rinna are showing back up to the season acting like, what? Why would anybody be mad at us? This is absolutely crazy. Gorselle being mad at me after I went on a national TV and said she wouldn't pay her charity bill. What? What? Why would she be so mad at me?

And so Kyle is like, it's like, look at the world going on around us. Look at everything happening. Am I gonna be upset because someone unfollowed me on Instagram? And she goes, yes, yes, I am. I was like, finally Kyle is being honest with us. Yeah, because Kyle's like, let's look at her Instagram. Still follows you, still follows to read, still follows Erica, still follows to me.

I mean, Garsell was even following Teddy, Teddy and not Kyle. I mean, that says something. That's, yeah, that's a true fuck you. So then we go to Garsell's house, which is, wait, yeah, Garsell's house, and she's with Sutton and Garsell's friend, Shiree. And Garsell's like, I think we should just do a vitality shot. Come on, it's COVID time.

And she's like, yeah, it's COVID time. It's COVID time, everybody. And then they're sort of having like forced camera fun because they do a vitality shot and then they're gonna do like fireball shots and like none of them seem to wanna do fireball shots or seem to have ever even had it before, but they're like, well, I guess this was on the run down today,

they gave us a bottle of fireball, so we had to figure out something to do with it. So I guess we might as well have a shot. Oh, yeah. So we had a Bravo Madlib's list. We could either drink fireball or have a murder mystery Well, we were gonna do a murder mystery, but then we saw sudden already getting the vapors when she didn't realize it was Just for fun because you know something like There's been a murder. Oh, that's been a murder. That's been a month. Let her mouse go and admit that you're guilty. It's like sudden. It's, it's play, it's play.

So Garsell tells us that she's been spending a lot of time with Sutton cause she really likes her and she's, she's a weirdo, but you know, at least she's herself and she doesn't hold back. And Sutton's like, well, I am sick of my pod. Okay, who's y'all seen? And Greasey goes, well, you, I've talked to Denise a ton, and she's like, well, I'm sad, because Denise hasn't responded to my texts, and I just want everyone to get along. I just don't understand why everyone can't get along.

Lisa Rina, you don't believe Lisa Rina. You all just had a crisscross, and you need to make it into a straight line. You just garcell's looking at her like, I am sticking with the crisscross. Also by the way, I hate these people. By the way, Serena goes, who, who's that? She's like, you and I had to go get a COVID test and drive all the way up from Hollywood to wherever we are, like Mission Hills for this stupid scene.

Yeah. So by the way, I totally am predicting that Garsell and Sonner are going to have a falling out. Whenever a season begins with two people talking about how much they've become friends, it usually means there's like a 75% chance that they will have a big falling out by the end of the season. I think Garsell is going to stick with Seton. I hope so. I love them together. Yeah, that's my, that'll be my beginning of the season.

Guess. Um, so then we go to Erica and to Rita and they're still driving and trees. Power. I don't even think I've ever driven to cars. House before. There it is. It's not it. There it is. It's not it. There he is. That's not it, team. There he is. And then Doreen and then Erica goes.

Doesn't she live on the same block as her? That's what I thought. Two blocks over. Where did they go? Where did they, what was this like, this joy ride that they went on? So then they drive by finally and Erica goes, that's it, that's it, no, no, that's it. That's it. That's it.

And Doreka's, I love you, Erica. I missed you. I'm like, because she points out a driveway. Oh, oh, what a good friend pointing out a driveway to me, Erica. Thank you so much. So they go upstairs and Kyle's like, oh, well, you know what? We said we were going to do something and then Harry said Remember we were gonna do something at your house Rina and then Harry said it wasn't a good idea because everyone's so scared of COVID and then Mori comes in he's like hello my love listen, you know what? I'm gonna be 50 now. We have to have a party, huh? Yeah, you know, I'm 50 years old and when people turn you know 50 years old and Traditional things to do is to have a party.

Have a party. So upsetting. It's like, Camille, what are you doing in this scene? Get out of here. For people who don't know, go look at the archives. You'll know by the end of the season. You'll know by the clip. We season. You'll know by the clips. We'll play the clip 50 times.

We'll play it. I don't have it ready now. If I had it written out, play it. So people who are newer, like, what the fuck are they doing on this podcast? So he's like, I'm 50 now in there. Cause like, oh yeah, I'm giving another 50. And I'll thank you, sexy ass guy with hair. He's like, okay, I'm gonna go barbecue something for the kids.

Does anybody want anything? He's like, okay, I'm gonna go barbecue something for the kids. Does anybody want anything? Everyone is like, what? Just put something on. Put something on. Which is a weight of sound like you're gonna have something, but you're not committing whatsoever to eating any of your own TV. She is not gonna eat anything. You're not kidding. Put something on. Put something on. Also, she does get to say five times in this episode. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs.

Which somehow she's gotten to say, like at least once a season every year. And it will hot dog. By the way, I'm actually very concerned with Mauricio. I'm worried that he is entering a midlife crisis because he showed up and he was wearing a hat and a t-shirt and neither of them said the agency. I was like is something Oh, is everything okay? Like literally no one's wearing anything that says the agency right now like I'm concerned Yeah

So we're in this like didn't have a mohawk Kyle and cuz like yeah, he called it a mohawk I'm like all grown and Eric Erica goes and we shall help the tires, hey And a solvent firm So then and then they show a clip of Erica and Tom. She's like straight. He got his tie and you know smoothing down his suit and She's like, oh you look good, babe, and he's like, well, you know, I gotta make sure the jury likes me. Ha ha ha. Every day, babe, no, that will die.

Commissars, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share

a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking, oh yeah I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So to read like, guys, since this feels so good, I was thinking about having a barbecue at my house, and as we all know barbecue means pasta and

fwagra on christines perhaps some fancy cotton candy as well as lamb riblets served on skewers guys is that what you want? no I can't we haven't had a chance to go out since call that's gonna be so amazing She's well, I have to admit I've been getting to have put on heels and walking around the house The sadness of Doritos of her just doing fashion shows for herself walking through the hallways as like Jackie has to like move his leg goes out of the way Yeah, America's like yeah, buddy, too. I put on fish and it's a shit like my Patrol no for myself. I do everything for myself. We know I'm in no way connected to Tom in that way We have a romance but my activities are completely separate from my husband's activities

and in fact, I barely even know what he does and separate from my husband's activities. In fact, I barely even know what he does. And we are totally separate. And there's no overlap whatsoever. And all my activities are funded by myself. That's all I'm trying to say, fishnets. So what does Carl say? My nose is gonna fall off.

Because I think, I think maybe because her nose is gonna fall off. I mean, there's already been. Maybe someone brought like a commemorative edition of Halloween and she just had like trauma flashback. My nose is gonna fall off. Like the intermittent psychic. Okay, so Doreet's house.

We're at Doreet's house. I'm like, good morning, Tom, to get up. Help me, you're a bug. at Dorit's house. It's like, good morning, Tom to get up. Me of bog. Yeah, she's waking up PK who wakes up like Ramona. He's like, my time is at love. And it's like 9 30 love the wallpaper and Dorit's while hallway, by the way, did you see that wallpaper? I love it. No, I was stuck on the giant velvet headboard. The giant velvet green

headboard. I just kept thinking I hope you have a giant velvet headboard. The giant velvet green headboard. Yeah, that was it. I just kept thinking, I hope you have a chom chom. Okay, there's got to be a lot of hair all over that thing. There's like PK back hair all over that thing. So, um, so, yeah, so to read like Jagger's in the hallway and he's like, Oh, can you, what, can you carry me downstairs? And she's like, no, I can't carry you. You'll have to make your way downstairs yourself because looks like you won't be getting anymore hugs and kisses

Which was I'm Phoenix girls shut up Shut up, we don't want the hugs and kisses It's so funny shut up Like well this year turned out to be pretty easy on us. The love's coming to school! Hello, Miss Leap! I was like, well, yeah, it's easy on you. You have a fucking teacher there full time to teach them. You literally hired a teacher and have a room that you can dedicate to it.

Like, like, turns out it was pretty easy for us. Oh, well, congratulations. Dury, just like everyone else is complaining too much. So then, yeah. You know, like, what are people complaining about? Pretty easy for Austin. It wasn't so bad. So then we go to, we're at Kyle's Belair House.

Wait, scratch that. It's Suns rental. So apparently Kyle and Mauricio still had their house that we had seen for so many years I thought they had sold it, but they still had it and I guess they're renting it out. So Sutton So Sutton Has she sold her house from last season and that you got a new house in Belaya, but she wants to give it a facelift So she needed someplace to go so she thought

Cows Belaya house. So she is now renting from Kyle. And before I finish this thought, I do want to say how it warmed my heart so much to see Sutton finally get a proper title card when it came to a Sutton scene. I was so happy, so happy. Why would it or other cards? Yeah, she was just a friend.

She was a friend of before. And now she's like, she's a full on housewife. So now she got the full on, like, I'm Sutton and I'm standing here on small and at you So Carl's like do you always have that crucifix up there? No, I just have it when you come over Kyle come on now I was warned I was warned by the last owner. I think her name is Kim Well, it wasn't Carlton. I forget which one it was either way. So, uh, uh, Sun goes, so Carl just lets me live here, though I pay rent. I'm like, that's called renting.

Carl says there was definitely a friends and family discount. And it's $20,000 a month. Damn. That's, uh, it was marked down from 25,000. That's not what I, I mean, it is a discount. Friends and family discount to me is like, at that, I would be like, you can stay, pay like 2,000 a month.

I don't know. $2,000,000. Look, no, look, I don't, I just feel like Kyle Mauricio, at this point, owned half the real estate in Los Angeles. They are loaded. And I don't know, like, I just feel like Kyle Mauricio, at this point, oh, and half the real estate in Los Angeles, they are loaded. And I don't know, like I just think that like taking $5,000 off is very nice,

but still $20,000 for a friend. I just think that's a little crazy. I don't know. So my God, I want money. I want to be rich. So then Kyle's like, wow, of course this becomes a Kyle memory scene instead of a set and like, welcome set in this main house I've seen. And so Kyle's like, oh my God course, this becomes a Kyle memory scene instead of a set and like, welcome, set in this main house I've seen.

And so Kyle's like, oh my God, it's so strange to walk through my house and look at someone else's things. And then we see all of her memories. And it's like, you know, every version of Kyle's face kind of splashing around the backyard. And then you've got like Kyle walking across the backyard, holding Kim's house on her back. You know, the old standards.

Glenn, I'm going to crawl into the grass grass as he tries to set up that 10 million thing for her white party. And she's like, you know, I keep picturing about how I used to have this house and how in looking at how it was now, it just, it makes me sad. Like no, Kyle, you don't get the shed tears about this. You didn't have to move into the next house. You didn't have to move into this far, far, inferior house that you moved into.

I'm sorry, I liked the original house more than their new one. I can't stand her new house. Yeah, but I'm not sure if it's her actual house or just what she's done to the house. You know, like that big pink light, word light, the air go light, and then the stairs are terrible. I just, yeah, no, I actually don't like, I mean, look,

when I say I don't like house houses, the gorgeous house, if I walk into it, I'd be like, wow, this house is amazing. But it's more like her other house, I just like her other house more, at least on television, it's just her other house is just more telegram, I quote, can I say? That's what matters to me.

And I just never liked that she was so obnoxious about her bean shaped pool. I'm like, the bean shaped pool is great. You don't need to have a rectangle pool. Yeah, you're really the melancholy back to the pool shape for you. I think those back to your anger about the pool, the bean shape. Are you happy that I'm mad at her again? I'm mad at her again. No, I try and start out every season with the fresh lake, guys. Okay. If I hate Kyle, the season's so beat, but for right now, I mean, what do I care?

She's just some basic with the new nose. Like, I don't care. So, Garcell is dry. She's on the phone with her friend Nicole saying, she's on her way to meet Lisa Rina. And Nicole's like, are you wearing stilettos? I didn't get it. And then Garcell's like, well, are you wearing stilettos? I didn't get it. And then Garcell's like, well, I hope she can understand

where I was mad at her for how she treated Denise. And it's difficult to meet up with her right now because I just, right now I just don't like her at all. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, she's such an insignificant to a top. So, and I like that Garcell has come like, I'll be the villain. Do we need a villain this season?

I can do it. She's dressed like a Disney villain, which I totally love. She's got like the full on big, like, leather shoulders coming out. Like, yes, Garsell came to play this season. Yeah, except the joke is that she's somehow, she's actually the hero, not the villain. So then, so Rina- Very Maleficent, love that. Anti-hero.

So then, so they, they go, she meets up with Rina at Marmalade Cafe, home of the world's most bland tuna salad, by the way. If you ever come to LA and go to Marmalade Cafe and wanna know what eating nothing tastes like, what are their tuna salad? So, God, I've been waiting 15 years to finally air that out. I literally went there in 2005 I've got to marmalade cafe many times, but one time I went in 2005 and I ordered tuna salad and it was like

The most flavorless thing I've ever had to the point that I remember it to this day and I feel so glad that now 16 years later I can finally air the fire'm gonna go to the power. Their tuna salad is terrible. Their spinach salad is lovely. So, Seren is like, Seren is so fake, it gets hilarious. She's like, thank you for coming and then she does this whole fake, sad cry face, which goes, Carsel!

It's such a weird world. I worked the boys. Look, I got a sad face on. So, you know, work, I'm gonna try it. I worked at boys. Look, I got a sad face on. So you know, work, I'm gonna try it. Garsell. Yeah. Garsell's like, well, here we are. I mean, talking about not easy.

I'm like, I'm like to Rinna try to start it out with general COVID talk. And Garsell's like, well COVID happened, but I have to have lunch with you. So let's get that out of the way. Rinna's like, oh gosh, I know, but I have to have lunch with you. So let's get that out of the way I mean, it's like oh god, I know but you know, I really care about you Garza. I always have you know I've taken so much time to reflect on myself literally in a mirror God, look good And I just want to apologize if I ever hurt you

I know I did because you've acted like I did so I must have done something and my intention was never to hurt you You know, but guess what hurt people hurt people And I was hurt so I hurt Garsell's like and here we are Who hurt you you full of you are so full of shit? Didn't you did not do anything to you? Little enough hurt people are people didn't you did anything to you. Literally nothing. I've heard people, her people. Denise did nothing to you. Ma'am. Yes.

So Rinna's like, I was harder on Denise than I needed to be. I know that because I've taken time to reflect and read comments on my Instagram. And you know what? I'd much rather be like you and be like, I don't care how much she lies and how depraved she is.

I'm gonna stand by my friend. I wish I could be as blindly trusting as you, but I can't. And that's fucked up. It's absolutely a hundred percent fucked up that I can't. I can't just let a friend be a monster. I'm sorry. And Gersel just goes, yeah, yeah. And she goes, yeah, I think that she's trying to own it really quickly so that I don't come for her. And she, Garth's soul goes, I think we should drink.

So the waiter comes over and they order. And she goes, you know what, Rina, why couldn't you just be there for Garth's soul? I mean, just let the other girls come for her if that was the plan. But why couldn't you just be the one girl that was my store? It should go to Garth's out, you know? I mean just let the other girls come for her if that was the plan. But why couldn't you just be the one girl that was my store? It should go to Garth's out. I just... I couldn't Garth's out.

I just couldn't... I couldn't do it. It wasn't honest. It wasn't honest. Which is funny because in the trailer for the season, Rina goes, Why can't we just be fake every now and then? Yeah, it can't we just be fake every now and then? Yeah, so it wasn't honest. She is so what, so why do we have to check each other on what's honest or not all the time. She is, you know what, it's not even about Brandy.

I mean, no one cares. I mean, no one even cares that they were sistering or doing whatever less than you think they were doing. Who cares? Who cares? You want to cheat on your husband I don't care you want to sister with somebody sister is

She says there was a real friendship there that was much deeper than my friendship with Denise And if you saw the relationship that I saw and then Denise said to me those texts aren't real I have no relationship with her. I saw it with my own eyes. I'm like, Rina. Here's Rina. You're mad because you feel like Denise was lying to you. Denise was actually, Denise was lying to Rina, for sure.

But she's lying to Rina in a situation that Lina, Rina, provoked. Like Rina created a situation situation Denise didn't want to deal with it. So she lied to her face Then she got mad that Denise lied to her in a situation that didn't have to be there in the first place That's that's the whole thing. That's the whole thing Yeah, so Garsell goes shut up I saw what I saw she was well, I didn't see the text. She goes, yeah. And she said they were real.

And I don't have a relationship. I saw it with my, oh, eyes, Garcell. And then we get the clip of, oh, so angry. It's so, so angry. And Garcell's like, well, the way you were with Denise, I mean, how can I trust you won't do that with me? I mean, you were friends with her longer than you were even with me.

And she's, no, I've been friends with you longer. She's, really? That's not what she's saying. What? She's liar. She's liar. And she's, you know what? I was really protective of Denise in many ways.

And girls, I was, what? She's, I know it doesn't look it. I know it. I know it. And I know you're going to laugh at it. But it's true. I had the. I know it. And I know you're gonna laugh at it, but it's true I had to protect her and the only way I could protect her was to throw her into a den of Fipers and see how she'd survive. That's how I protect people You know what if someone isn't trying to ruin your marriage? How do you know that your marriage is strong?

I was helping her! When I stabbed a woman just to show her how stronger skin was. And she goes, you know what Garcell is like, well if that's protective, don't help me. You know what Garcell? Sometimes I could be a real cut fitness. I think Garcell goes, okay, well I don't even like that where she's up. Neither do I. Neither do I. You know what I'm, well, I don't even like that word. She's like, Neither do I, neither do I. You know what I'm gonna say. I don't like that word either, but I don't like that word either, but I'm a godfitness. I mean, what are you gonna do? Hey, the confidence would like a side of lemon. I'm a godfitness! She just keeps saying it as much as she can and Garsella goes, well, I don't disagree with you on that.

She goes, well, don't disagree. I'm a cut fitness. Listen, it's gonna take you a minute to trust me. But I think the best thing to do is to move on from that. Of course, you do. You're the asshole in this situation. I hate when the asshole is the one. He was like, you know what, we should just move on.

No. We don't just move on. You're the dick. I say when we move on, man. That's the asshole thing to do. You know what, I was just being an asshole. I'm so glad we're moving on now It's like no, so then she's like so Garcell says well I'm willing to tread lightly. I'll gonna tread lightly, but I'm I'm open Basically having a relationship and we're gonna go that's all I could hope for oh

I'm so glad we're best friends again that everything is fine. And we never have to talk about this again. Ah! So here we are at Erica's Pasadena Mansion, which is now gone, you know? Yes. Spoiler alert.

We all know what's coming. And the reason we're seeing this ad is not because of the house, it's because of the friend employees,. Mikey and Leia or Leia. I don't think it's pronounced Leia. I think it's Leia, Leia, Leia, whatever. But they're soon to be gone. You know, it's like watching the last few episodes

of Golden Girls where they don't really act like it's ending. But you know it's ending. You know, you're like Dorothy gonna move soon. Dorothy gonna move. Yeah, it's like the final episode of The Golden Girls where Dorothy goes out the door, then comes back in, then goes out the door, it comes back in, and then comes out through the one eye, and everything.

Except this time, it's Erica who's standing there, and it's all her friend, employees, who are going out the door and coming back in, and this is them coming back in one more time, and then eventually they're just not coming back in again. Yeah, so they're pulling clothes from one closet to move into another closet. Well, the bedroom that's a closet, they're going to move, they're moving clothes in and out of the bedroom that she uses as a closet into a real

closet or whatever. This is why Erica is a problem on the show. Okay. This is why she's a problem. And this is why I've often said, she's been one of the reasons why the show has language the past few seasons, because like this should not qualify as content that gets broadcast across the nation, moving close from one closet to another closet. Like she literally does not give us anything beyond this. And this, I mean, look, I'm sure she's super cool as a person, but like this is not,

are you? Like you're, I actually am pretty sure about that. I have seen no proof of that, that's for sure. But the point is this, I don't know why I'm making excuses for her all of a sudden. Suddenly I'm thinking with nuance, but the truth is that she has always held back. She's only given us glam squats for years.

And this is what we've always been saying, but it's only glam squats. We don't know who our friends are beyond people who are on her payroll. We really don't. We don't know what's going on in her life. I think that's the point. I think that she might not. I think, yeah, I think that she really doesn't. I think she's just a very lonely, lonely sad person.

That's what I'm getting. True, but I think that she really does and I think she's just a very lonely lonely sad person. That's what I'm getting true But I think that may be true as well, but um But we are not getting anything from her and whenever you have a cast member who is not giving us anything That's like a chance for other like that's a missed opportunity for a much more compelling person to be there and And the worst part though is that like her glam shit is just like, has just infiltrated this entire show and it drives me absolutely nuts. And luckily I actually felt like this episode

wasn't too heavy on the glam even though it was there. But it's like, so seeing her in this closet, moving clothes from one, the bad closet to the good closet. I just was like, I do not want to see this anymore. But at the same time it gives her the only fun scene she ever have. You know, it's like, I'll put things away and you tell me, yeah, no, you're a splash! Yes! Okay, let's go to this closet.

Okay, super cute. Not mad at this man. A lavender moment. Bring those gold boots. This is the fucking moment. It's meant. Do we want a man a lavender moment bring those go boots. This is a fucking moment It's meant. Do we want to the mint and lavender moment cuz go put the mint over the lavender? And you have a moment with that Yes

America's like well, you know, I have never taken success for granted Erica Here comes another down. Yeah, step down, Eric. Oh, you know, all my success and one thing quarantine is top, my is that things can change on a dime. And yes, I did this use a very small denomination of money. Not no one was coming. Do I say things I've done in years?

Did I say things could change on a dime? I said things could change to a dime. Dollar for a dime? I said things could change to a dime. Dollar for a dime. So they move all the clothes into the fancy closet, which looks like an old saloon storage room. Just like old-fashioned wooden accents. It is.

It is. Here I can sit in there. And Mikey's like, so how's the old man? How's he doing? Oh, well, he's busy. Well, I was busy as I can be because lots of clothes, baby.

And I'm sure that Tom is looking for the day when business returns, because it most certainly will return. And then the law firm will be back and healthy and nothing could possibly go wrong. But our lawyer's voting. There. Thanks. E-O-X.

So then we go back to Garcels' house and now Doreet's coming over and Taz is there. And Garsell really knows how to play to her audience. She's in a sweater that just says, Chanel really big because it's Doreet, you know. It's kind of a crazy outfit. I'm not going to like Garsell really can pull off anything, but this was, I don't know if this was totally my favorite look, but I'm not a fashion gay, so I could be totally wrong. So Jerry, it's like, a love we can live!

Where is this? What is this house? Is this a tincture house? What are we calling these these days? And a part of mentee. Very nice. Is there a bed? Do you have a bed? Where do you keep the lawn mower? This is the this is the gardener shack isn't it?

So Garsell comes down the stairs in her Chanel thing and to read like Could somebody hit her please P.K Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Why is Kyle a goldfish? Because it's ordinary. I was like, oh my God, I feel like we've been waiting years for these moments. I know, finally someone just coming up to Kyle. So we get a tour. Yeah, we get a tour and Garsell's like,

I'm to add to my many, many, many jobs. I finally got my dream job to be a co-host on the real. And so we see her little studio that she has set it for home taping and stuff. And we see her clip from the real and she goes, well, will he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free? And my ride ladies. And then it comes back and she goes, well, I have the gift for gab if you haven't noticed. So, um, yeah, then she, then here's her glam room and to read it's like, Oh, look at my girl, this is amazing. And this is my room.

What is that? What is that contraption there? Is that something to get PK out of bed? No, no, no, no, no, it's usually sort of hang on it and stretch out your lower back, just like this. And she gets on it What do they call those things again? Gravity

Something or other my dad has one of those he hangs upside down. It's like daddy there. He's like oh, I'm hanging Oh, I'm hanging How's it hanging dad? Yeah, yeah, just hanging out So they joke about that. And then we go to Kyle and Rinna, driving somewhere. And Kyle's like, um, just, you know, my nose is numb. And Kathy's friend, Crystal, is getting involved with kids hospital. And so I have kids, gifts for the kids hospital because she's handling that.

And I really love charity for kids. So we're going to go do kids charity for kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. Kids charity. I'm a good person. I'm a good person. I've got them about Tonka truck and some of them sold nose. I don't even know how that got in here. They're gonna look amazing in this. So then we see a flashback.

I don't remember if this was actually on the show or not or just like some footage, but it's from 2013 as Jamie Lee Curtis presenting Kyle for Children's Hospital Los Angeles. Like saying, like, and thank you to Kyle Rich, Kyle Mauricio for this donation. And the only reason why I bring this up is because they put on the Kairan, Jamie Lee Curtis and Under it, Kyle's friend. I was like, excuse me. First of all, Jamie Lee Curtis does not need a contextual second line to understand who she is. Okay, she is the fucking star of the Halloween franchise

that caused Kyle's bangs and knows job, okay? So we do not need a contextual second line. And also, let's not reduce Jamie Lee Curtis down to just being a friend of Kyle Richards. This is not how the world works. Jamie Lee Curtis is a fabulous fish, okay? Fish called Wanda, damn it. She is literally the best fish of them all.

Yeah, so then we see Jamie Lee Curtis like introduce Kyle and like throw a shoe at her face. And I was like, cool. It's me. She's good with that. One time I was driving in LA, and I was on Santa Monica Boulevard, and I was at night, and my car pulled up right next to

like a black SUV, and I happened to look to the right, and it was Jamie Lee Curtis reading a script like in the inner back seat And she had like the light on she was reading it. I looked and I was like oh my god Jamie Lee Curtis and she turned and she saw me and she turned off her light and the window just went black I was like oh that was amazing Because you know how many times she's done that to Kyle or calls come like knocked on her window And she's like no one's home Yeah, turns all the lights in her trailer off like nobody's here. I Think we know who flung the thing

Exactly so she so Kathy Kathy told me Kathy told me about crystal but I don't really know where. And we're gonna go, yeah, I mean, this time is so small. I mean, she knows so many people that I know. I just can't believe that I don't know her. I cannot wait to ruin her life.

So I then ran out of says that she and Garsell, her version of the dinner at Marmalade, was like, you know, I met with Garsell, and it was tough, but then a bubble broke, and then it all came out. And honestly, I think we're closer than we ever have been before. We're just basically buddy, but I can't even say it, buzzin' buddies, buzzin' buddies now. It's just so we're so close. And then of course it goes over to Garsell talking to Doreen saying that she had dinner with Rina. She's like, not sure I can trust her. Not sure. Yeah.

She's like, well, I was going to come for her, but it's hard to come for somebody when they're just admitting it. You know, I just, I can't trust her. And she goes, well, when I first made up with her I felt the same way took a while You know we didn't get great get on great when we first met where people doing coke in your bathroom But since then I've seen a grow from her mistakes and I forgot what I was gonna say, but it's something very positive towards Lisa Rinn. I'm sure And the grass smells like well, do you trust her now?

She goes, I do. You know, ever since we were trapped in some sort of bubble device flading above Las Vegas and I was unable to do anything but finally accept her apology, it's been okay. So that's all you have to do. So Carolyn Rinner driving up to this huge mansion, I care. I was like, oh my God, I just love Spanish places. And Rinner says, to Tyler Roof, I just love a Tyler Roof. I tell Roof, how are you?

Love your child. And they walk up to the front door and they're holding the presence for the children's hospital thing. And I thought this could not be more appropriate because Kyle is just carrying a copy of sorry under her arm. It's like the most Kyle gift of all time. Sorry. She refuses to always say. Yeah. It's kind of funny. So they go up to the door and Rob answers. Robbing off. Robbing famous. As we'll soon learn, if you don't already know, Rob Minkoff. Super fucking.

Super famous. Rob Minkoff. So, Rob Minkoff. This felt very deliberate to me, because he opens the door and then they walk in. And Crystal's just there at her, look who say, just like stirring, like, oh, hi, didn't notice you there.

Hi, I'm Crystal. I'm just cooking at my beautiful kitchen and my beautiful look who say, just cooking. That's what I do. Look at me. Just a normal person cooking with the most expensive cookware on earth. I know, but like this attempt to look really fancy with her look who say is fully undermined by the fact that she has a home goods bon appetit side right right next to it on the counter. Yeah, she does, yeah. So Crystal goes, wow, that's a lot of toys. And Karla goes, wow, you're really tall.

And Brinda goes, tall, tall. Have I mentioned that I like Spanish-tile ceilings? I love up, Tile Roos. How are we not men? I love Tile Roos, cut your tall. I am very tall, thank you. I'm almost 5'10, thank you. And I know I'm a freak show.

No, I know, it's okay, you don't have to tell me that I'm not a freak show. That's so kind of you in advance to say I'm not a freak show. But yes, I'm very tall. And Klaus, speaking of freak shows, you know Kathy. Cut, it's not funny. We just have so much in common. You know, Kathy, I know Kathy, you're very rich.

I'm very rich. We both know somebody who likes Spanish tiles on roofs. I'm sorry. I'm crystal goes, yeah, because you used to live right over here in Calga's, yeah, I used to live right over there. I'm like, wow, it's like the same person. It's like the same person talking. So, crystals like, wow, it's like the same person. It's like the same person talking. So, Crystal's like, yeah, you know,

so I'm from the Valley originally, but Rob has been in LA since 1980, and I met him when I was 20. Anyway, have you seen my look who say it's beautiful. She was Rob was on the east side, he goes, oh yeah, because I started Disney. I don't know if anybody anybody's gonna mention that so I'll just go ahead and do it. I'm fucking famous. Okay.

It's that Disney. Walt Disney. Anybody heard a Mickey Mouse? That's right, bitches. That's me. I love how confused they are when he says he used to live in Los Filos to like, I'm not familiar. Is that in Mexico?

Somewhere in Los Filos? What is that in Mexico? Somewhere in those fielas? What is that? I haven't had your green card long. So Kyle goes, this is, this is classic Kyle Richard shade. And I don't know whether I should be angry or actually really appreciate it. She goes, I don't think about age marriage.

I mean, look at Tom and Erica. When you see them together, you get it. You say, that's why they're, I get why they're together Which is like her way of saying and then they're divorced and now in a scandal so enjoy that crystal Oh, I took it as you know someone marrying a super rich guy so that she either way Either way, she may sound like a compliment and you see two old guys You see two old unattractive guys who are extremely wealthy and then two hot women want to be with them. I mean it's just like the same love story

Crazy so crystals like oh, so let me show you around the house It's such an adult house, which is funny because I'm such a child can't you tell my youthful energy? Oh look and Rob directed the Lion King, here's some figurines. Huge movie, I don't know if you've heard of it, it's a big movie. There's a musical, one a lot of war, it's kind of iconic. I don't know, so what do you guys do? What are your husbands do, huh? I'm really tell those first impressions are everything, especially in Beverly Hills. We're so fucking judgmental. I mean, people don't usually name drop themselves better. I mean, he's iconic. Honey, it's Lion King. Hello, honey. Hello, honey.

Rena really playing up her whole like drag. Yeah. Call that when you steal from another culture. Her track of preparation, the season, she's more and more every season. She's also trying to walk that line of being like this fucking bitch. Also could I be a voice in your next animated future? Yeah, and she's doing like a part, part weighs through this episode. She starts doing a 50s girl talking like this, huh? Yeah, yeah. What are you doing?

What character are you doing? She's like very road tour of Greece, you know? She's definitely going to be like an antelope in the next Lion King sequel. People just be watching this thing, like, Simba, your destiny has opened up it before you. How are you, Simba? How are you? Hey, Pride Rock looks amazing.

What have you done? It looks great. I love the Spanish tiles on your Pride Rock. Oh, no. She tells us. It's okay. The name drop all over the place. I talked to my friend, Cindy Crawford, name drop. And she said to me, you know what, Lisa, express yourself. It's like that story doesn't even make sense. Literally,

like if you're going to have a name drop, at least have a story with it. I know. It really went nowhere. So I'm how a Cindy Crawford not all miss I think she's boring. I'll bet she's boring That bet she's a little boring. I used to work parties that she would come to you And I was always like oh my god Cindy Crawford can't wait to see how fascinating she was and she just turned around going Yeah, while I has been talked. Yeah, I can see that I'll just answer my own question So I can't believe a model would not have a personality.

So Crystal is, they go outside and she's like, so Kyle, tell me about your kids. How old are they? And so she's like, well, I got a, I've got eight, 12, 16, 18, 24, 26, 31, 32, 37, 39, and 45. Those are my kids. 12 16 18 24 26 31 32 37 39 and 45 those are my kids Wow, you have a 45 year old kid. Just like I know I do like young. Thank you. Thank you So crystal's like well, you know, I have a boy which is you know, it's a very Chinese thing to have a boy Okay, and we have a little term for him, which is the little emperor. You know, I had the boy first,

which, you know, my family was so proud of me for having a boy, because that's important. And, you know, I designed him. You know, I designed the way it came out, you know, like I did all these weird Chinese things, like, you know, the fr- and Brinikus, what do you mean? Are we talking about Spanish tiles? We-

I lost. I didn't plan anything. We just had sex. I think I pregnant. I had a baby. In that order. And the funny thing is the reason why Crystal talking about having a boy is hilarious is because right before that, Kyle says, well people are always saying with all those girls, are you ever going to try for a boy?

And they're like, are you? She's just... Yes, yes I am. You may ask me questions about it, but instead of asking her about like, you're gonna have a boy, Crystal's like, oh, well I have a boy. And boys are so important. Do you ever wonder what it must be like to have a boy, Kyle? Well, I can tell you all about it,

because I have a boy. No. So she said that she was doing like weird Chinese traditional customs, you know, luck customs or whatever to have a boy and the timing of it. And um, this is, yeah, you already said this live, but this is where Rene turns into a real 50s like movie character. She's like, I had sex. I had the baby in my honor on it. Are you? She's trying to be Eric. Yeah, I guess so. So um, Erica. Oh, not Erica. Crystal's like, yeah, you know,

eight is a very big number in China. And so I it turns out I had my baby at eight on the dot. I have How lucky am I to have a boy and also another child who's born at eight eight. I mean eight is a great number. Can we all agree? Well, I once auditioned for eight is enough. Mmm mean, eight is a great number. Can we all agree? Well, I once auditioned for eight is enough. But you didn't get it, did you? No. So then we go over to Erica's getting glammed up.

For one of the last times, probably. So she's getting her hair and makeup and the editors are such fuckers. This, the song playing is like, I got that bling bling. I got that bling bling. I'm really rich. I got that bling bling, I got that bling bling. I'm really rich. I got the bling bling. I'm so rich. I got bling bling. It's a car. Yeah, poor America. They're really pushing Erica as far up as they can.

I know. I just crushed her ass down. Yeah, I actually retract what I said because earlier I was like, I do not want to see this. I think I was tapping into like, sort of historical reactions to these scenes, but I'm remembering now that as I watched her getting into glam, I was just into historical reactions to these scenes, but I'm remembering now that as I watched her getting into glam, I was just laughing about how rude that production is to do this to her.

There's like, because they're like, hey, Erica, here your diamonds, here's your favorite diamond. I'm just rubbing in the fact that all this stuff is totally gone now. Yeah, Mike is like, hooker bobby, brinning, bat. Hey, you know what, I show off that private diamond collection. Yeah! Collection Sparkle City badge!

They're putting on these huge diamonds on her. Oh my god. Oh my god. Well, when you look good, you feel good, and sometimes you got to put things on for yourself, and just sort of be on your own little fantasy for a second. Or for an entire marriage, whatever it is. I don't know, however long that fantasy is going to last. So then we go to Kyle and Glam and she can't find a mask to match her dress.

So it's very, it's a dire situation. So Dorees getting her glam too, because this is the glam Beverly Hills, you know, so they all have one. So she's like, here's the thing. I want to be a looking good when I'm drinking, because I've been drinking a lot. Like this. Can we do something with my face?

That makes it look good when I do this. This is what we need. Doreet everyone drinks. Yeah, they go out. I'm sure they've got you taking care of, okay? You don't need a special effects team to come in. So she gets glammed up and then she's walking on the hallway and Jagger's like, I don't think you look good.

And she goes, What's wrong with my outfit, Jaggy? What's wrong? He's like, It's a robe. She's maybe daddy would think I look nice. I purposely dressed the same color as bacon. And then Jagger, Jagger comes out. She is, I don't think he look good in that either mommy. I can see your boobies.

Why did you wear that? Get out of here strange girl. You have to go back in. We also have, we actually have very exclusive audio of when Doreet finally got to be in glam again and got to see yourself in the mirror after months of not being glam. Do you want to hear the audio? Of course. Just caught her by surprise. So Erica arrives like a rock's glass being wrapped to sell at a really girly story. You know, like when you buy a glass and they just wrap it in that paper, I don't know what

the fuck she's wearing, but or like a thing that cleans glasses. You know those special kind of sponges that have a long stick on them? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a tutu-lufa hybrid slash sponge slash, you know, like century 21 wrapping paper for a gift. So I'm sorry, not century 21 forever 21. I'm so sorry to invoke a sore spot for Sonya.

So to read, of course, she has a big long braid, so she's showing it off and everything. And then Rinna shows up in this like green pantsuit that sort of like looks kind of like J.Lo's famous dress, but it's pantsuit version. And they're all just complimenting each other. They're like, Erica, you look like Cotton Candy Vision.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know, it's like yeah, and the last one. It looks so good. You look great. Oh my God, you look amazing for five minutes. And then in a car, Crystal and Kathy are coming up really gathered and Kathy, this is our first scene of Kathy.

She just goes, is there food? And Crystal says, well, it's a barbecue and Kathy goes a barbecue in our ball gowns. And then Crystal, Crystal's so full of shit, it's amazing. Well, I'm an eater, I'm very excited to eat. I'm an eater too. Well, I got every morning in avocado with a fried egg

and a whole jalapeno on top. I'm an eater. I'm an eater. Gatsy's like, whoa, we're eaters. But she's like, bitch, are you fucking pitting me in avocado with fried egg and a jalapeno. My God. So then she's basically like, have you seen

the Carl's Jr. commercial where Paris famously eats a Carl's Jr. burger in her underwear, get sauce all over us, basically my morning. But thanks for your avocado story. That was fun. On some mornings, I even take a spoonful of yogurt and sprinkle some muslics on it and have that on the side with half of the avocado.

I'm an eater, what can I say? So then they come into the party and I'm like, that's Kathy's ball gown. It's like the lady who plays piano with church. Like, what is that? That's not even trying to be dressy. Yeah, so they all arrived, like, hi, hi, hi, and Crystal's like, wow, I feel a little bit underdressed.

I mean, this group dress is very loudly. I mean, I think I tend to dress more conservatively because sometimes I look at my older friends dressing way too young and I'm kind of like cringe. And I'm saying, I'm an ear. Hassel. So Eric comes up to her to say hi. She comes up to her to say hi and she goes, hello, I'm Erica. Oh, geez.

I know. You know something really rich. You know when someone's really rich, when Erica tries to pull up that the trying trying to impress you voice Yeah, exactly and then crystal like at one point saying how to Rina and she's like, oh, I love this I love this outfit You can borrow it you can borrow it No, it's a part of it. You can borrow that. That is okay. Oh, no. We don't take out that ticket off right now.

Put it on. I put it on. She's like, ooh. So then Garsell and Garsell arrives in pink. And Kathy goes, I thought you were Kyle. I mean, I guess I just saw the hair. And he's like, that's the guy sale. Do you remember the one that you're supporting with?

And no one wants to say it. No one wants to be like, you know that Garsell is black and your sister's white, right? Like no one wants to say it, but they're all kind of like, the answer to like, do you have contact? Do you work glasses, Kathy? She's like, actually, yes, but I'm too afraid to put in my contacts. Anyway, I'm gonna go talk to Rena over here. You're talking to the house plant actually

I was wondering why the conversation was so good So Garsell and Crystal are talking and Chris Garsell's like, oh, you know what? I don't know you but I do know your husband. I tried to get that movie by the way the haunted mansion So tell him fuck you for that. That was great Yeah, that was fun. And Crystal's like, you know, it's really common to know people in Beverly Hills, but you know what, if you don't know them,

then they might really not be worth knowing. It's like, oh fuck off, lady. Fuck off, thank you for being on our show, though. I appreciate this. And the producer goes, do you know it to reach? She goes, no show though. I appreciate this and the producer goes do you know to reach because no no I'm sorry. I'm sorry crystal they don't know to read So I was just more mad that she thought she was like being so

What's it called outrageous not outrageous, but that she was Like she's not the first person to not, no one knows who to read is. You're not special because you don't know who to read is. Dore does literally like a phony. It's not, no surprise that you don't know to read. I don't think my point makes any sense. I thought it was fun. I was like, get to, I'm here.

I'm here. I'm listening. I'm not saying, guys, I'm caffeinated. But I thought it was just funny that the producer was like, oh, what do you know, Doreet? Like, the producers are just on this mission to be like, Doreet sucks and no one likes her and nobody knows who the hell she is. I like that they're just so in on the joke

with Doreet, it cracks me up. So, wow, you married someone talented. That's my note on her. So then there was a fight clip of Kyle getting mad at Doreet because Doreet was always late because of her glam squad and she was late to Teddy's very important anorexia event because of she was getting glammed up and now Kyle's late. And so she comes in and Doreet's like,

oh you late because you're like and glammed. Oh, glamslam, how did you love that one? Boone. and glam, glam slam, how's it look that one, boom! And Garsell gives her some very restrained compliments. She's like, well, you look good. You look great. I guess I'll have to make some modifications on my goldfish when I get home.

Put it, give it. Is it possible to give a goldfish a new job? Does anyone know about that? Ha, ha, ha, ha. So the guys, Mauricio comes in and to just add to your midlife crisis thing, now he's wearing like a Fedora type hat. It's almost like a farmer's hat, but it's a Fedora. It's a very Hollywood thing.

And for some guys, it actually can work, but Mauricio, you know, well anyway, so he, it's a look. So PKM Reese are there and there's like some jokes about like that Doreet is gonna maybe like Sidious Mauricio. I don't know, I was like, I can't commit this down to my notes right now, I can't. Yeah, they leave. The get rid of the guys, so they leave. And they're like, girls, nine.

And Kyle's, you know, says some basic stuff. Like guys, I spent so much time with my husband. It's time for a girl's night or whatever. So the ladies go outside and sit down and Garsell says, you know, to read, I just wanted to say thank you so much for inviting us to your extremely temporary home. Congrats on still having it. I mean, it's crazy.

Wow. And then to be like,. I mean, it's crazy. Wow. And then to be like, guys, guys, we got food. We got food. So then pigs and blankets all arrive. And and Kathy's like, I thought you said this was going to be a barbecue. It's really, really upset about the classification of this party. And then we get Erica's true. Girls, none of these women know how to throw a barbecue. Oh, no, I thought it was the other part. It would be better if we were on some yacht, but the truth is we're to reach them and see no, but if I'll take it, I'll take it. There's a little teddy throwback. I'll take it.

I mean, we get pigs in the blanket. I love pigs in a blanket. I love pigs in the blanket. I love pigs in the blanket. I love pigs in the blanket. I love pigs in the blanket. So now they all sit down and we're just like, I have to say, in this moment, I feel really great. Maybe it's because I'm sitting under some Spanish tiles, but I haven't had this moment in a long time. And I need to get away. I want to fight all of you

a little trip to like Tahoe who's in who's in I know it's all a yes because you're contractually obligated who's in And Kathy goes do I get to bring my scissors and my dental supplies like what? I feel like it's like what and then the clarification is this monologue that really we've, I mean, it's cemented it for me. I love her. She's got I agree. I love there's sense of first thing she uttered today, which was I agree. Is there food? She's like, she has the coochiness of Kim Richards with the hotiness of like OG Lisa Vanderpump. Like it really works for me. It's like she's the owner of the Hilton,

but she dresses like a Likinta. Like she's got so many battles going on. Yeah, so she gives us this monologue, where she goes, well, I've always liked to play games, and when I was little, I would gather all the children in the neighborhood to come over, and I would do dental perk on them. It's like, wait, that sentence went in the wrong way. Who messed up the script? I get supposed to be, the kids would come over and you would play ball or a catch or play with our barbies

or something. But I would do dental work on them. Kim and Kyle would be my little assistants and I would say, well, not pick. And Kyle would hand it to me and the kids would be like, I don't want to do that. And I'd be like, if you want to come back here and play, you're going to let me do this. I was a character. And Kyle goes, yeah, when the kids went home, we went in hiding. We were scared. So Rina and Dorita at the bar going, I need some water, you never thought I could use some water. I would love some water. I love water! I'd love some water.

I need the pick, Kyle. I need the pick. She's still doing it to me. So, Dorita's like, I'm so excited to go to Dictaho. I'm Rina's like, yeah, me too. Well, you know, I'm so excited to go to Dekto. And Rinna's like, yeah, me too. Well, you know, I had a great dinner with Garcell. And she goes, good, good.

So Rinna still has no idea what's coming. So then Garcell and Sutton are talking, and Sutton's like, well, I hocked with Lisa. And it was just such a fun time. Did you ever know how much Lisa Rinalov's Spanish tile? I've never, it's all she talked about the entire time. And Garsell's like, well, you know, I'm open to growing and figure out my relationship with her,

but I still don't really trust her. And some, and some says, well, my understanding was that y'all were good to go. And some, and Garsell says, no, not at all. So, well, she thinks you're good. She's well, then that's her bad. And she goes, it takes more than one drink to forgive something like that.

And something's like, I think y'all should revisit that talk because there should be no splinters left. And she's like, well, I would be stupid to trust her 100. So then inside, Renee goes, you know what to read. I'm just trying to be better and not better. She's like, oh, it's a different letter than it, but it sounded the same. I liked it. So then Kathy is talking to us, well, we dinner the other night and left and left and left.

And Garsell goes, woo, you and who? Dorit. Oh, she is a great person that Dorit comes with. There's a Dorothy, it's a Doreet, so Rinne returns and she's like, I'm drunk. I'm so happy you're here to meet. I'm so happy. Okay, let's talk about something. I want to know it's not a season without a Rina game. Everyone's like, oh, no, Rina, no.

I want to know what has been your best moment during COVID and your hardest minute during COVID. Okay. Let's do it. So, Sidon says, well, the hardest part was the beginning. For the first eight weeks, I just stayed in bed, but mainly because I thought Joy Malip was downstairs, so I couldn't go downstairs at all and see. And, Carl's like, well, you know, the beginning of COVID was hard because I have anxiety, all of you flying spiders, go in. But, you know, I did love having kids home.

And Crystal's like, yeah, I mean, we always say to each other, like, listen, director of like Lion King, I mean, we wouldn't normally have time with our kids because they're like way too rich to be stuck here all day. But, you know what, now we have to spend time with them. What the fuck are we doing with the, did you direct Lion King? I mean, it's been a really good time. What a privilege to spend this time with our daughter and our son that we have. He's a male. Male son. What a great time. What a very special time for us to have that.

And Garsell says it was really hard for her because she was really lonely without her kids. They were with their dad and seeing all the parents doing TikTok. She's like, but I don't have anyone to do TikTok with. And Erica says, well, mine was very dark. You know, I'm busy all the time, sort of saying. And when I came home from New York, it was really silent. And then when I didn't have anything to do, I started walking down the halls, the house, and then I couldn't sleep.

But while she's talking, just doing this model, we're seeing footage of the house and then I couldn't sleep. And but while she's talking, doing this, doing this model, we're seeing footage of the house. Yeah, and all the paintings of herself all over it. It's like, sad, lonely shots. I'd walk from the kitchen to the living room to the kitchen again, pick up dried pasta, you know the usual stuff. Just like some bitch on the string. I couldn't shake it.

I would feel incredible, Drain. Who am I if I'm not working? I dreaded waking up. So I called the shrink and I went, I'm like, Supra. It's the greatest thing. And someone's like, what's that? I'm not at a present stand, but all right now. I didn't want to admit that I needed therapy.

It's a million was a side of defa- I am so proud of you, Erica, that you went and got Alexis. That is what you have to do when you're feeling blue. No, Lexa Pro, it's only different day. Oh, that's the fancy version of Alexa. Will the lesson? Be careful what you tell us. You're playing Megan Trainer.

I'll tell you that, Mal. No, Lexa Pro for all the rain. And then we get Erica's monologue, which I've been waiting for the whole episode. There's so much that those women don't know about my life and my personal life Everyone has problems and the bigger your life is the bigger your problems are. Oh Oh, now your life is so big. Give me a fucking break, lady. Yeah, I was making this, she's making this so exciting this season. Well, I got mad when she said there's so much that these women don't know about my life,

my personal life. I'm like, yeah, that's the problem. We've been sitting here for like six years, wherever, however long she's been on the show. And we still don't know really anything about your personal life. That is literally the problem. And now you're using it as if like to make yourself be the tortured soul in the situation. It's not like, I mean, like, in a normal situation, in a normal world, in real life, you know, no one's obligated to share all their details. But if you're going to come onto a show, that's about this is the life of someone, and then you don't give it over, and then you get mad at your castmates, because they don't know the real you.

It's very frustrating as a viewer. Yeah. So, Kathy is like, well, I mean, who could you, you know, sometimes in this whole thing, you just have to think, who can you live without? I mean, I can live without, you know, the one who's always in prison in my contacts. So that's me. What about you, Eric? I was like, I've already waited a man. I've got my dog and my husband.

And you know, they're duking it out for the top spot. Well, can I tell you, I'm very alone. I'm walking from room to room with a bench and filled with pictures of myself. Like, okay, well, don't worry. It's gonna be, it's gonna be like a tiny circle very soon and your, your West Hollywood house. What an asshole.

When she says my life, when your life is bigger, your problems are big. Or as Phoenix would say, shout out. Oh, so that was the premiere episode. It was really entertaining for me. I'm excited to see how it goes. Loving Crystal being an asshole, loving Kathy being so strange and haughty at the same time. And I guess we'll just have to see what happens next week

when they go to Lake Tahoe. So until the- Tahoe, don't tell us how this is gonna turn out. Tahoe's gonna tell us. Tahoe will tell us. Lord knows I have watched many seasons on Bravo, where I got excited by the first episode and then by episode five. I was like, why are you doing this to us? But for right now, I'm going to be in a place of yes and be excited.

So you guys will be back tomorrow with our real housewives of New Jersey reunion part one recap which promises to be a total shit show, which we love. And everyone stay safe and we'll talk to you on the next one. Bye! Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone!

She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-oals! Dan-o-c, Dan-o-do! Let's rent some errands with them a lierians! Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-us. Hava Nagila Weber! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch!

Jess saying, okay! She's a little bit loony. Juni, she's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce! There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Beaches Beaches!

And our super premium sponsors? Nancy's Season Desisto! Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie! Betches and our super premium sponsors Nancy sees and a sisto Better than tabooly. It's Annie and Julie in the hissy with Jay hissy Somebody get us ten C's of Betsy MD always the wiser is Allison Weasler We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel. It's Megan Ragle Erica 500 days of summers. We will we we will, Joanna Rockland, you. The incredible, edible Matthewsisters. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.

No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell. Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. We're a fan of Michael Lann. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy!

Let's take off with Tamela Plann! She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins' ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.