Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Séance Anything

Episode Date: March 21, 2018

Kyle hosts one last séance by the smiley-faced pool for old times' sake, and Lisa Vanderpump loses one of her cute little pups. It's a time for tears (and heavenly phone calls). Come join us for this recap of "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensFind bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Watch what Crappins would like to think it's premium sponsors. Christy Wowardy Dowardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Just saying, okay. Shannon out of a Canon, Anthony. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grantmaster. Give them hell, Miss Noel.

And Lizzie Drucker, a father. Motherf- Watch what crapins Watch what crappins Who cares what happens When there's so much That crappins So what happens

Hey everyone Welcome to watch our crapins A podcast about all that crap on Bravo That we just love to talk about I'm Ben Mandelker from B-Sideblog.com And joining me this week Is the wonderful, happy, joyous, inscrutable

Ronnie Karam from Trash TalkTV.com and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Joining you this week. I mean, today. How kind of thing is that? Well, it's true. It's not incorrect. Like before I fire is that. It's Ronnie's last week on the podcast, everyone. Oh, my God. Never do that to me on the air. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How are you? Hi, babes. Hi, how are you? How are you? Hi. Everyone loves Lois. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Are you excited, Ronnie, that we're just two days away from going to Michigan? Heck yes. I've never been to Michigan. Oh, it's going to be fun. It's going to be cold. That's going to be fun. You can have fun on the cold.

I'm never cold. Global warming has given me the best winter ever. It's always my temperature, no matter where we go. We get to Boston. It's 21 degrees. The next day, it's like 60. Like, that is my spring. Okay.

I love 60 degree weather. Yeah. It's Ronnie walking around without sweating on everybody weather. It's like anything above that, forget it. So I look forward to your balmy global warming Detroit. Yes, I'm excited to. I've never been in Detroit, except I did once fly into Detroit on route to Ann Arbor. I went to Ann Arbor once.

But anyway, this is going to be a fun show. And in case you didn't hear, we are doing actually a little giveaway for tickets. If you post a video of yourself on Instagram, saying why you want to come see us live, and as long as you at Watch for Crappins and do hashtag WW Crappins and hashtag Crappins live, then you will be in the running to be America's next top ticket winner. And on Friday, we will announce our winners. And first place gets two free VIP tickets, which, include pre-show meet and greet and preferred seating.

Second place gets just two general admission tickets. So that's going to be super fun. And, of course, you can just buy tickets at watchwrappins.com. Well, there you go, everybody. That's going to be really fun. I'm excited. Well, we've already gotten some entries, and I'm excited to see all the others. Jaw.

Jha. I'm really excited to come. I'm already packing because I pack very, very slow. Oh, I was like, why am I looking at my cell phone right now? You know why? because I want to look up Detroit weather. Well, someone sent it to us. It's going to be like,

37 degrees. So maybe I misspoke. Yeah. I was sort of chuckling to myself about your global warming monologue. I'm like, I just looked at the weather and it's supposed to be like 28 degrees or something there this weekend.

Well, I'm one of those non-learners ever. Okay? I never learned my lesson. When I came back this week, I came back the other day. I hadn't taken a jacket. So I was like, I don't need a jacket in Texas or Vegas. Why would I take a jacket?

And I didn't, which was good. But then I got home, and it was raining and 50 degrees on my Vespa on the way home. Which was really a fun, fun, fun time, guys. Yikes. Yikes. I'm like, I don't have to pack a jacket. Ronnie, it was two days. It was like three or four days ago, whatever.

Learn your lesson already, boy. Yeah. No, you got a pack a jacket. Didn't you ever see out of sight the movie with George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez? And they go to, remember, they go to Miami? And then like the whole, like, third act. takes place in Detroit. And the whole movie is like sunny and warm and then they go to Detroit and it's like cold and snowy and everything is shot with like a blue filter. Yeah, but the last movie I saw

with Detroit was Dreamgirls and it just looks so glamorous and fun and they were singing about cars and it was like Motown. I was so excited. Well, I mean, as we all know, the initial, the original version of You're Gonna Love Me was called You're Gonna Need a Coat. And you and you and you, you're gonna need a coat. And you, you're gonna need a. cold Oh gonna need a cold

Jennifer Holiday Holiday And I'm telling you It's gonna be a little cold colder than what you can expect Perhaps lower than freezing No no no No way

Let's steal it from her No way it's gonna get to 38 degrees It's gonna be around 24 I'm not leaving my hotel. I'm doing via satellite, via satellite, via satellite, via satellite. From the hotel room.

We are your dream coat. Anyway. Listen. We are dreamcoat. We are dreamcoat. Girl, we're from old navy. We are a family of coats. Oh my God.

Okay, well, thanks for listening, everybody. What an episode of Beverly Hills. I mean, if that doesn't sell you guys on coming to see our live show in Detroit, nothing ever will. If that doesn't ironically thaw your cold heart, singing about the cold should thaw your cold heart. And buy tickets. Jennifer Holiday will be appeared.

And you are! And you are! And you are! You're gonna wear a coat. Fun fact, Ronnie and I have a photo with Jennifer Holiday. We sure do. I was like, thank you, Ms. Hudson. I'm gonna kill you.

I will kill you, Dad. I do actually think, honestly, like, our live shows, every single one of them has been totally hilarious and fun. Everyone has really loved them. We've loved them. So if you're on the fence, just buy a ticket. It's fun. You'll like it. It's worth it. Don't make us sing it to you.

Yeah. Okay, so we opened this episode with Doreet playing with her kids. Oh, I thought you were going to talk about the... I thought for sure you were going to talk about the music. It was like, one in a million. Something like that. I didn't even catch that, mostly because it was Doreet pretending she knows who her children are. Are you playing with Papa Pig Jagger?

Is Papa playing nice? Jagger. Jagger, are you playing with Papa Pig? Papa Pig play nicely, Jagger. How many pigs does a Papa play with in a Papa Pig playground? Papa, Papa? How many pigs does a pig, pig, pig, pig? Jagger.

I don't know, Mommy. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? If a woodchuck could chuck Teddy Melon Camp. How many pickles would play in a pickle field? If the name was Daisy, Daisy! Guys, guys, why is it wood chuck chucking the wood, guys? Is that safe, guys? Don't throw the wood chuck out with the baby's bathwalk.

Don't throw the baby out with the wood chuck-chuckers. So she's given her kids a bath, and then Teddy is over there putting off face masks with her kids. And, of course, I immediately went, hi, I'm Teddy. And she was like, do you like your face mask? I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. I think one of my proudest moments, as a Bravo podcaster was earlier this week,

I think I'm sent a Teddy Mellon Camp gift to someone. And I went on to, you know, like a lot of these apps, like the Twitter app or Facebook app, there's like a functionality where you press GIF and like you can type in like a search keyword and it gives you a bunch of gifts back. So I did a search for Teddy Mellencamp. And then a gift came up of her in like the opening credits.

It just goes, I'm Teddy. It literally says, I'm Teddy. I was like, oh my God. We have made it into the thing. gift database. I can't believe that was your proudest moment because I wrote this down as your proudest moment. Eric's dog is named Tiago. I didn't even know that the dog was named Tiago. Oh my god. So for those of you newer to the show, Ben used to live next to a coffee place called Tiago and he would talk about it every day. I love Tiago. Oh my God. Erica's dog is named Tiago. Ben is probably

pooping himself right now. Oh my God. How did I miss that? I guess I was like focusing more on the fact that some lady ran up to Tiago got his pee and then Erica's like oh is it supposed to be that brown I was like ew yeah way to take care of your dog Erica she's like oh you you pick it up poop oh fuck it's expensive to hire a veterinarian well I would like to congratulate Mikey for not being the one that was picking up that poop yeah he's really made it he's advanced in world where he no longer has to pick up the poop. They just bring in Doris from like dogs R.S. P-checker company. Mikey got a raise. He's like, yeah, girl, poop-ry thing. Poop-we-thing. Girl, poop-bitch. So we go back to Doreat's house and her phone starts

ringing. And you know my pet peeve is when people don't adjust their ringer from the generic one that Apple provides. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun oh, I hate it so much. I think now at this point it's just a housewives over dead because everything one housewives has the same ring. In this one I think they're like, listen idiots, it's an overdeb. Stop talking about it.

Because even in Real Housewives of Atlanta, you know Candy doesn't have that damn ring. Yeah, I actually was starting to think that myself. I wonder if they're supposed to have their phone on vibrate at all times when they're filming and then they just like record put that either way i'm i just am begging the post-production departments on these shows give us a different ringtone please i i just can't stand that ringer girl you know why they do it because even ringers got agents now they'll sue you like you play 20 seconds of me on a ring that's it i'm a multi-millionaire it's kim i almost like the agent for ringers hey i'm me and christie mcnickel's brother we'll run this agency is about the ringers

Hey, honey, you want me to sign your ringer? We got a hat, too, Kyle. It's called the Regency. Ringers. Ringer. Ringer C-L-L-C. I love that they featured your pet peeve and also my pet peeve, fanny packs. You're going to really wear a fanny pack? She's like, what is Leigh?

It's not Louis. What's the other pattern that has that rich pattern? It's on everything. Airmas, maybe? I don't know. It's gross. I hate it. All I know is, by the way,

she should have a, if she were smart, she would have a ringtone from the Watcher Crappin's library. She'll, she'll, she'll Ronnie say it, tell people. Oh, I just took a big smoothie. I've just got a mouthful of kale and banana. Oh.

Semi not delicious. It's called the clans. I ate M&M's for breakfast. So anyway, yes, the premium ringers are out. So go get some ringtones. Nah.

They're on our Patreon. I'm sorry. I caught you off guard. if you were in the middle of a smoothie gulp. Yeah, I can't be shilling. You're like the ringtone, man, and I thought this was going to be like, oh, Ronnie, here's a moment. We're talking about ringtones.

I thought it would be like a perfect segue. But you're like, no, I'm doing a banana and kale clans. Yeah, I was like, I've said fanny pack. Now I'll let Ben as I drink slash eat this kale smoothie. Well, either way, my favorite part about this is, so the ringer goes off and to re-answer this is just like, hello. And then you hear Teddy? And she goes, it's Teddy.

well, Dorek getting a call from Teddy is my new favorite thing because she's always like, ugh, ugh, ugh. It's like this time she did like a whole, I do not want to answer this dance. Yeah. So Teddy's like, um, I'm just calling because I want to call myself accountable. I just want to apologize for what I said to Rina because I think I was just really thinking about me and I didn't think about the repercussions.

And, you know, I just want to apologize, which I thought was like a very, mature and succinct and well-stated apology. And Doreet's like, oh, but Teddy, guys, why didn't you just say something to me tomorrow? I don't get it, Teddy. I'm like, that's a weird thing to say. Like, just say, I'd have to take time out of my day, tantal ago, and you could have just said this at the buffet line tomorrow. Whatever other party, you're going to try and make me look like a dumbdomette.

That's what her real thing was, that she wanted to have the apology with an audience. That's why she was obsessed. Yes. Well, you can fuck me. in front of an audience, you can apologize in front of an audience. That's how so as rules, you know? That's why I always got mad at Reza

on Shazzo Sunset. He would destroy people in front of everybody, and then he'd call them and be like, I'm sorry. It's like, that doesn't count. Yeah, we're like family, and like, we may yell at each other, but at the other day, like, I love you.

You're like my bitch, okay? And that's like so pretty, because motherfuckers need to apologize. Yep. And then he goes back in public, and then that person is being nice to Reza again and everybody else looks like an asshole for still attacking that person because Reza didn't tell anybody else

that they're allowed to be nice to him now. Yeah. Well, either way, Doread has this moment where she's like, if you're delivering a real apology, Pekai, don't pick up the phone and waffle a sorry little apology and think that everything is going to be perfectly okay, guys. I'm like...

And P.K. is like, waffles. Waffles, babe. Did I hear waffles? I like that... That Doreet doesn't even want her apology to be sorry. She's like, don't give me a sorry apology. I'm like, well, what sort of apology do you want? It's kind of inherent.

Next time you say, sorry is so sorry, like, do it over a public game of sorry, yeah? I drew a two. That means I can put my pawn out of the circle. I'm so glad I'm drawing a two. And while I'm wearing this sorry, playing a game of sorry. Guys, guys, I just put my pawn on the little circle thing, which means I can go forward a bunch of steps. Oh, Teddy, did I just not you off that arrow thing?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Teddy. But you have to go back to the circle. Playing Pac-Man on your sorry. They're like, that's an Atari. Well, it's kind of rhyme. I'm sticking with it. By the retroactive laugh before playing Sorry and Asari.

She would appropriate Asari. Well, people came up with this. Guys, I just love playing sorry while wearing a sari and eating my Moroccan garbanzo beans. Guys, Lisa, do you want to play sari with me? We can't play it over the phone.

When she's like, why didn't you say something to me? And he's like, well, it's just that I might not go because what Erica said to me was really hard and I don't know if I want to be there. Like, so you're telling Doreet? It's like calling one enemy to complain about the other enemy.

I don't think the strategy is, really going to work for you, Teddy. Yeah. Well, you know, Ronnie, you got a surprise. Actually, can we talk about this for a second? Because you got a little bit of pushback about this. And in general, the response online, I was surprised at people's response to this whole big dust up last week between Teddy and Erica. Now, I was largely on Teddy's side, although I do think that, I actually do think that Erica had a right to be like, don't say I'm a liar. I think she's totally fine to say that. You got a lot of pushback. some people on Twitter were even like, I had to stop listening because you guys were defending Erica so much.

I was really surprised that people reacted so severely to Erica's response. What can I say? I just had that kind of a week last week, people. As we discussed on pump. But here's the thing. I think Teddy was wrong of bringing it up three months later. That's a bullshit move. I'm not taking that back. Now, it's not that Erica didn't have a right to react. She's an asshole. Erica's an asshole. She reacts. acted like a mean girl fucking asshole and she always does. And it's funny that it's funny that that happened because I call Erica an asshole literally every single episode. We have our our podcast has been very consistent about saying, you know, like Erica is fine, but she's like really cold.

And this like we've, we've never really fully been able to embrace her. So it's kind of funny that people would think that we were suddenly staunch Erica. Well, I was standing up for I was standing up for Erica to be mad. She had a right to be annoyed because it looks like Teddy's just starting shit with somebody she doesn't like, you know. But she was just really mean. My thing, I didn't go off on Erica for being too mean because Erica's always that fucking mean. Like, do you people remember Hong Kong? Like, the thing about Housewives is that we all have such short memories.

We forgive everything the time the next season starts. And then we just forget it all happen. Erica's a dick. She's always been a dick. And I've always called her a dumb ho choking on Don Rickles nuts. Okay? I've never taken it back. And I'm certainly not going to take it back now.

But what can I say? I get pissed when I get pissed. Well, it's funny to me because I've always been someone who's been a little puzzled by how people have just like really, really embraced Erica. Like, just because she says she's like, oh, I'm poor gay, a little. She sort of, I always feel like she's sort of parroting her glam squad. I don't feel like, I don't feel like what she says comes deeply from within. I feel like she just is a good mimic. I mean, I feel like she's totally pro gay in terms of like her, her views.

I'm not saying that this is all fake. But I just, you know what I'm saying? It doesn't feel like this, this persona seems like it's taken from her glam squad. It's not something that bubbled forth from within her. Whatever, that's a different point. But what I'm saying is I've never fully embraced her. And yet that whole thing with Teddy, people were really like, she was so mean. I actually didn't think she was so mean.

She just was like, she snapped. She just had like a thing of like, don't you ever call me that laugh. Don't you ever da da da da. I mean, I think it was fucked up. When she gets mean, she does get really cold. I mean, she was being cold. She was like, oh, don't even go bother with that. Or whatever.

You know, she's a monster. I think she's a cold-hearted little monster. No, I think that she's cold-hearted, too. I was surprised that people were like, she's being so mean. I thought she was actually being fairly consistent with her character. She was just, she's like, don't have to say I'm a liar. I mean, I thought it was bullshit that, like, I did think that she let Teddy hang out to dry. Teddy was basically like, remember?

Like, well, I'm not going to rehash all that. I did think it was mean that she let her hang out to dry. drive, but I was, I was just, like, really surprised that the audience reaction was so visceral on that. And, again, I was on Teddy's side in it. I, I fully said it. I wasn't. I mean, Teddy made a dick move. But the difference is that Teddy admits it.

Like, Teddy immediately, it's like, that wasn't cool. I've really thought about it. I'm calling because I'm holding myself accountable and I didn't blah, blah, blah. Like, she takes responsibility, whereas, you know, Erica's not necessarily ever going to say, I'm just a mean bitch. Yeah. And I'm going to treat you. like shit until I've deemed you good enough to be nice to you. Yeah. And Teddy had a very strong Bravo blog that last week where she basically was like, I cried, I'm human, it's allowed. And then

she talked about, she sort of like unpacked it a lot. And then she basically, she called Erica Jane, Regina Jane. And now people are calling Erica Jane, Regina Jane, which I think is funny. And it's like a whole online spat that they're having. But I think that Teddy held her ground really well. I guess it's better than Contessa. But yeah, she, uh, she's like, she's like, like super people did you say that thing where Erica said oh peer comedy because she retweeted she tweeted out

the link to Teddy's blog and said pure comedy and people went a I mean they just went nuts on her did you just say that no no I didn't get to that part but I know that's what her response was again I'm just you know even though even though I ultimately was more empathetic to Teddy in the situation

than Erica I was I thought it was a moment of like oh look at that a dust up and people really were like what a fucking bitch what a mean girl erika is i was like oh okay yeah i've read an interesting comment in that stuff that was talking about how sometimes

we do these so quickly to just get them you know to get them out that we don't give enough time to see how social media is reacting and that's absolutely true most of the time but you know what i like doing it that way i think it's important to do it that way i don't want to be influenced by what i read to form an opinion like who does

that. That's not good. I always say, like, if you're pissed off, you're at least paying attention because you should be pissed off half the time with most of the shit that comes out of my mouth. I'm surprised. I'm always surprised when people get mad over something like this when I'm like, did you not hear the horrible things that I literally got on my hands and needs and asked for forgiveness for? Yeah. The minute we stopped recording. But, yeah, I mean, Eric, people are basically mad that Erica was so mean.

And I say, welcome to the club. She's always been fucking mean. That's Erica. And Teddy is now, like, starting to, like, find a foothold in this cast, which I think is interesting, you know. I mean, she has been at the – Teddy has been really at the core of this season, which is kind of shocking. But now, like, the fans are starting to rally around Teddy. And, you know, and honestly, remember – I think it was last episode or even one before that. I was like, I'm starting to like Teddy. I don't know what – I just started to like her. And it's interesting.

Like, Teddy might be around. I thought she was going to be a one-and-done cast member, but I think that she's – she's going to, I think she's finding her worth on this show. Well, she's in that slot. It's like just stop trying to fill it. It's like every year they try and refill this slot. Sometimes, especially on this show, they just need time to warm up, you know, or really getting it.

Because this show is really good about keeping stuff private until it's absolutely not. Like, they make all sorts of deals with each other not to bring certain stuff off on camera. It's always been the most famous show for that. And manners, like fake manners and this. And then when it hits the fan, oh my God, it hits. the fan girl. It certainly does. Anyhow, little aside about that, I just wanted to talk about that because I was, I was fascinated by the response online. But anyway, back to this episode, we now go to Renna's house where they've got a new puppy. It's a new puppy. Well, we've seen the puppy before

until I was like, ew, she got my pants dirty. I know those kids. They're like, we really love that puppy. This puppy's so cute. You know, Lois is coming in town. Oh my God. Lois is going to love this puppy who I almost named Lois, but then I thought, oh, my God, if there's going to be a Lois and there's Lois, I'm going to be like, hi, Lois. It's Lois.

Oh, my God. Which one do I love more? It's Lois. Mike, she may not look, she may not look, look, Lisa Vanderpupup, and she may not feel Lisa Vanderpupup, but she is 89. Get it. Call the cat to bed. Delilah.

Call the hospital. I can't stop laughing. I'm not breathing. I'm just laughing. The dog's like, oh, my God. It's like someone took one of those outdoor vacuums and got a kitten stuck in it sometimes. I'm not letting go. I'm not letting go of this kitten.

Baby. So then we go to Teddy. Teddy's like at a restaurant. I love that your baby was out of air. You're like, baby. Baby, baby. So we then go, Teddy's like sitting at a restaurant, just sitting there like, I'm Teddy sitting.

And Kyle just comes up behind her and just startles her. She's like, blah! And he's like, oh, I can't resist doing that. He's like, I got startled. It happens. I'm human. I'm accountable. And then Kyle, just in case anybody forgot that Kyle's extremely important.

Very, very important guys. And she can post for drinks. Yes. Teddy was like, well, after you left up party, and she goes, oh, you mean after I went to Hamilton? When I went to Hamilton? The musical, not the college. Anyway, what were you saying?

What are you talking about? Ham? I like Ham. I'm poor. I can't resist darling people from behind. Like, when I was sitting down at Hamilton, which I went to, I was like, bleh, blah, blah, blah. Everyone's singing in front of me, which was not a lot of people

because I had good seats for Hamilton. And Teddy's like, well, it really bothered me. that it really bothered her that she said I had that she had pretend amnesian she said well it's better than Hamilton he got shot I saw it I saw it I'll tell you one thing I'll never forget

Hamilton it was that good are we talking about me sorry Erica turned into an aging I'm not kidding she was like don't call me a liar that was my favorite song in Hamilton I was actually really waiting for an alien invasion but I guess

I guess it doesn't really make sense in a musical like Hamilton, which I saw. And Kyle's like, I know that voice. It was Hong Kong on a boat, a junk boat. I didn't even recognize her voice when she got that mad. And this was very Erica on that junk boat where she just loses it. And she's like, they have the feelings. Now that's called fine. Off, sure feeling.

Anger. Anger for no reason. You don't know what keeps me awake at night. Was it about trying to get Hamilton tickets? Because I can help you with that. I don't know, but if Hamilton had nightmares of choking on giant old band balls while they were sleeping, I'm going to guess it was Hamilton. Oh, so Teddy's... Are you as impressed that I made that sentence as I am?

I'm always, always, always, always impressed. So anyway, so Teddy, um, Teddy's like, I'm not scared of Erica. You know, it's not, it's not fear. It's frustration. Kyle's like, oh, yeah, I get that frustration. It's like when you try to get Hamilton tickets and like you can't because you're not Kyle Richards. I get it. I get it.

It's like when people offer you tickets for Ereba and Andy get your gun and you're like, Hamilton. God, those songs are infectious. Afterwards, I was like, Porsche, want me to make you some cookies? I can, I have this great new mixer I got from Hamilton Beach. I just don't know why she's always taking a shot. My shot? That's the song in Hamilton.

It's like one moment I thought Erica was great. And then another moment, she's like, what's up with that? And Kyle's like, I know. It's like the world turned upside down. That's another Hamilton song. If you'd seen it, you'd know. Oh, my God. Oh, shit.

Okay. So Teddy's like, Erica isn't very empowering to a woman. And Kyle's like, yeah. And then Kyle's phone rings. And guess what? The ringtone, it's back. Because you know, for real, Kyle's sort of person that would have already changed her ringtone to a Hamilton ringtone. You know it would have been whatever the songs are.

Or at the very least, Lisa Vanderpump would make sure that she has a unique ringtone on Kyle's phone just to show that she's the best. Even if it was just Vanderpump herself making it, she'd be, too do do do darling yeah I'm surprised she doesn't force Kyle to have the Van Pump Rules theme song yes I was like okay it's Lisa calling reminding me that I don't have a spin off yet this one's for you tonight

for Kyle hello Kyle why would you record for Kyle on my phone ring Paul Kyle just Lisa, it's not nice to say it at poor me. I'm doing a lot of things. Like, I'm seeing Hamilton.

I meant poor Teddy. Literally. So Kyle is... What you gonna do? What you gonna do when... Lisa, that's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Hamilton. Okay, that's not what I saw. Okay.

So Teddy's telling... right before she calls, she's like, I'm not afraid of Erica. It's not afraid of her. It's not fear. It's frustration, okay? So, by the way, she's just basically Kristen from Vanderprop. Yeah, yeah. Well, she's on the spectrum, the Christian boy spectrum. She's on the horse face number one spectrum.

So Lisa Vanderpump, yeah, she's like, this was for you tonight, poor Kyle. Carl's like, hello. She's, where are you? Where are you, Kyle? Okay. You can't keep saying you at Hamleton. I know you're not at Hamilton still. How was the musical Little Pink Dog?

Oh, that's what I was. No, Lisa was Hamilton. They'll stop talking about goddamn Hamilton. This was the saddest thing. I've lost a child. I've lost a furry child myself. I don't even want to talk about it. I'm horrified.

I'm skipping over this part. But I will support you. I will talk about it. So Lisa is sad because her pet named Pink Dog. I am going to chuckle a little bit because that's kind of a funny name for a dog. Pink dog. It's like, I don't know why. It's just funny to me.

I know. She's like, come on, Yolanda. I've already called one the other one. His name is Max. So Lisa's like, pink dog was a happy little dog, and she just had a heart attack. And so basically her dog, her sweet little dog dog dog. A pink dog in L.A. is a hot dog stand. And it's like a famous one.

So she's never going to drive down LaBrea again. I know. Poor thing. I don't want to cry. So. I don't want to cry Don't want to cry Nothing in the world could take

me back to where we used to be pink dog That was some Mariah because I know you have no idea What I was singing Of course I did I know Mariah Okay, don't pretend that Mariah is the same thing I feel like you don't know Mariah Do you know Mariah? I feel like you don't know

Yes of course I don't want to cry Okay she doesn't sing like that at all But of course I know Mariah songs I'm a homosexuality right now We are in a really homosexual place. I mean, we had a Dreamgirls thing, that we were Mariah.

And by we, I mean, I started both of these things. So anyway, so she has this pink dog, a dog's called Pink Dog, and the dog died. And I think anyone who's had a pet knows, it's, you know, it's gut-wrenching. I've never had dogs, but my cat, I remember when my cat Elijah died, I was a freshman in college,

and I, like, went into the bathroom and, like, closed the door on a bathroom. bathroom stall and like sobbed on the little toilet so one would see me so like we've been there I remember when my hamster snowflake died I cried into my dad's stomach like my dad's like man I think the hamster's dead and I like start to cry like we've we've all been there so I'm not totally I'm not going to make fun of Lisa Vanderpump feeling sad or going through morning um but uh she was fully crying it was I I was like it was they were very dramatic it was you know they were like if only i had been there to save pink dog you know um yeah and then she's like i just feel help and kyle's like do you feel helpless

and she's like yes helpless is that another hamilton song kyle god damn it she's like sorry but i got to go see hamilton so lisa's like in you know she's in this she's in totally you know i feel bad for her And then, but she's like, because she's on the phone, I guess, she's on speaker. And then she's like, but anyway, do you feel better now, Teddy? Daddy, are you feeling better? Will you be my new pink dog? You're my pink dog now, Teddy. Oh, Teddy.

I hope you're feeling better, Teddy. Your pink dog had a heart attack. No, that's me. Why I'm asking about you? Click, poor Kyle. Anyway, so next we go over to. Hello Rennas

I'm surprised Lois did not emerge from that, from that black car with like a top hat and a cane doing like da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

little WB frog Yeah Renna's like everybody loves Lois man man man I say I say So they do this thing which

I was just visiting my Papa in the retirement center. You know, you want to say old folks some because that's what we call them. But I guess you're supposed to say retirement. Old folks, Sam. I went to see him in the old folks. And this is one thing that makes me crazy when people talk to him like this. Okay.

They're like, oh. Like, why is everybody talking to him like this? He's not three. Okay? You don't have to talk to him like that. You can just say, hey, how you doing? Yeah. It makes me nuts.

And that's how they're talking to Lois. I don't think they're actually talking to Lois normally. they literally go oh my god your jacket your nails when did you start doing your nails

I was like oh my god have you heard Lisa Rina talked to anyone else that's exactly she's like oh Lisa Vanderpump look at you

how are you did you have your carrots this morning good yes now you've made the connection in my head Lisa Rina

is basically a candy striper in the old book How are we feeling today? Good you have any good day Did you watch TV?

Yeah. Do you see the today's show? Good. Just in case you forgot your name. It's Lois. Oh, we try and get Lois to move here, but Lois is not having it. Lois loves Oregon and Lois loves ketchup, which we called Lois' chup. Lois is the queen be at the home of Lois.

Lois, her name is Lois. Oh, my God. Yeah, so she basically is like, she gives Lois her. cardigan. She's like, here, have a cardigan. I'm going to give one to everyone. Everyone gets a cardigan. And dust her. And her daughter's like, oh my God, look at your nails. They're so cute. Thanks for chimed in, happy. Your nails are so young. I'm going over here now. So then we go to Erica. She's with a glum squad. And so, Michael, what's going on today? What am I going to be?

to them, Mikey, and he's like, I, Brenda, you're going to Girl Cult. Girl Cult, Empowery Matt, Tyra, Camara Lee-Settas, all new young, cool, edgy girls. Like, Camora Lee Simmons and Tyra? Yeah, interesting. Are we still in Papa's home? I guess it's 2007, so Erica's like,

Girl Cult is like, Ted Talks meets Coachella meets Girl Power. I'm like, keep me away from that. Anytime you say it's anything meets Coachella, I'm like, goodbye. Good bye. Ted Talks meets Coachella. It's to be like people in like wearing like feathers in their hair and like flower things. And then taking photos where they're like, it'll be just like a bunch of girls taking photos where their lips are just like carefully pursed and they're holding like a piece and then they're like beveling their knee and be like, hey. It's Erica standing on one of those little round red carpets to know her light.

And she's like, well, here's what you didn't know about the computer programming language. Doss. Brough's up beer all over every. I'm all for girl power, but I just, I feel bad that this event got billed as Ted Talks meets Coachella. I don't know who I feel worse for, Coachella or Ted Talks, because neither one of them feels complimented right now. I feel the worst for the girls. That's what I feel the worst for. So Mikey goes, okay, so this woman who's going to be in the moment who's going to be in the

moderator. I was like, did Mikey just all caps the word woman? What is going on with this scene? He's like, she's going to put you on the spot, like a TED toss, a little red spot, okay? And then you're going to riff the young girl, bitch! She's like, oh, let me think.

Young boss, bitches. I wish somebody had told me the possibilities. Like, the possibilities, you're fucking some old 80-year-old man to make YouTube videos, Erica. I just want to tell the girls, they too. Well, I believe I believe Erica's in love with Tom

But I will say I thought it was funny I thought it was funny when Erica was like I just want young women to know that they do have a chance They do have a voice I'm like okay so all you have to do is You know wind up with like a multi-millionaire And then get onto a reality show Okay, got it

Girls do have a voice Hopefully a better one than me Because I'm gonna take their spinal fluid And steal it from their soul girls do have a voice for instance my voice sounds like oh my lord and then she puts she's like oh the possibility is a girl power

and then she puts on a jacket that says forgive me father five sin like the edge you're you're on the edge yeah okay so Kyle is being picked up a teddy bear and Kyle is still addicted wait before you mention that we have to mention Renna doing an Instagram story with Lois

and Lois is like doing a diddy she's like east side west side all around town west side all around the town I love that like she's flossing out her ears oh my god I was laughing so hard now I understand 100% where Rana gets it from this woman is the super Rina

I could just imagine Kim Richards watching this at home I know that song East side with side all around the town Kim just sees it with like the lyrics on the screen with a dancing ball. She just, it's not there, but she just sees the dancing ball. He's at west side all around the town. God, what a good west side story musical that was. I love dream girls.

So anyway, as you were saying, saying, I love dream girls. She says in the standing room only section of Hamilton. Hey, Kyle, Kyle, I made to Hamilton also. No, you're. at hamburger hamlet. It's an actual restaurant here in L.A. Actually, I think it closed.

Kyle, they closed on Hamilton. Oh, my God. Okay, so Kyle's being picked up with Teddy, and she's like, is Erica coming? And Teddy's like, I don't know. Weirdly, I haven't heard from her. She was like, sorry I wasn't ready sooner. I just was reading the playbill from Hamilton.

I just got so caught up on it. Did you know, like, Lin-Manuel Miranda? He went to Wesleyan. I don't even know how a Wesleyan is. What is that? Sounds good. I have no idea what it is. Sorry, am I talking about Hamilton again?

What playbills have you been reading? Let's share. I hope they're serving some Hamilton sandwiches. Oh, I really want to binge today. So Camille's, so they go to lunch at tart, which I don't think I've ever heard of anybody actually going to lunch at tart. Have you? I see it all the time. The only people that go to tart are people on Bravo.

It's, no, actually, it's a podcast. brunch place, but I just feel like it's constantly on Bravo. Actually, Trisha took her parents to chart one time. And whenever Trisha goes somewhere, my friend Trisha, she's always like, you have to call there. She's like, we went to a place called Tart. You have to call there. It's like, no, I'm not going there.

And she's like, wow, why do you hate Tart? It's like, because it's called Tart. It's either like some, like, snotty little, you know, like a back talking street girl, street urchin, or is something sour. I don't want that. Ah, hey. walk out of a tart. See, now that's a stance worth taken.

That's a stance worth taken. Not going to go play somebody called tart because it doesn't appeal to your sensibilities. So Lois gets there and she orders an Arnold Palmer, which is the second time someone's ordered an Arnold Palmer this episode. So I feel like Arnold Palmer's are really having a moment. So I just wanted to spot like that.

You know? No, we don't want to. Did you fall out the window? No. Well, I've lost you then. The last thing I heard you goes, no. What are you there now? Ugh, you're a robotie.

Hold on one moment, people. Hello, this is Lisa Rina. We have an ad coming up, so you better listen to it, baby. And we're back. Ronnie laughed so hard to hit the cord on his microphone. Sorry, I just stole that from you. I sold your moment. My big Arnold Palmer moment.

Yes. I'm still waiting. for your response on the Arnold Palmer front. I don't know why that made me laugh. I was just saying Arnold Hamilton, which doesn't even make any sense. I'll have a Hamilton. Do you guys have Hamilton's half, half lemonade, half iced tea?

Yeah, she's like, I'll have a half lemonade and half iced tea. And I was like, a Hamilton? Don't you have that, too? You guys, I'm so sorry. We're late. We drove to Hamilton Drive by accident. It's a real place.

Hey, congratulations, Lois. Mauritio is so famous that he got you tickets for an Alexander Hamilton She's like, Delicient So Camille So Camille enters She's like, hi, Lois, Hi, I give hugs and bald gags But mainly hugs

Hi, hi, hi, muw I still kiss too I love that she didn't make that noise but she did leave her mouth wide open on Lois's rings. Yeah, Camille just sits down and is like, So, when's that hard, Doret gonna get here? Ha, ha.

And then Dorete comes in, and she's like, Oh, hello, it's me. I've been making my dreams come true. My dreams are bathing suits. Oh, it's wonderful. It's like someone came into my spirits and said, let me draw it. And they drew it.

My spirits a bikini, by the way. A bikini with the gold ring in the middle of my boob is. Oh, geez, Camille. Durit, yeah, Derreet just starts talking and talking and talking and talking, just endlessly about Beverly Beach, etc. Hello. It's so so fulfilling to work on a bathing seat. Another thing is Moroccan beans.

You just can use canned beans, but I don't know what to get flatbread in Los Angeles. And here's another thing. Do you know that when the map says it's 40, minutes away. It's actually 45 minutes away and not four, two, five minutes away. I didn't know that, guys. I thought for a minute she was trying to do

in my numerology. Which would have told me? Your spirit's here. And it's made of bikinis. Oh, you know, I'm so busy. I'm just so glad I got to take a moment away from it all to meet y'all. Yesterday. Welcome to the table, Michelle Obama. Really glad you got time away.

exactly I love how much Camille hates Doreet She's like Oh Doreet She just can't help herself Ugh Wow

That's a That's a That's a Camille Des right there She can't help herself She just Kisses something So funny

And she goes She just can't I was gonna do Dereating She's like She just can't keep her mouth shut And then she It cuts to her in her diary room, she's like,

like, she just shrugs. Like, there, I said it. It's like, good one, Camille. We weren't saying it, but now I've said it. She can't keep the mouth quiet. So then it segues into, while this is happening, Lisa and Ken are in their little pet cemetery that they have. And it was sad.

I know, I was crying, but I did laugh because Ken put the flower on the grave. And then this little noise, because he's holding jiggy, you know, and this little noise came out of it. Yeah. I was like, was that canned or jiggy? And then I started laughing through my tears. I know. The name of the biography I'm writing about Kyle for being so sad.

So next, Kyle with her psychic. And she's like, I have things to talk about with my mom. Like, she keeps calling my psychic from the heaven phone and asking her for a percentage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because Kyle tells the woman at Tart that she wants to have everyone over for a seance at her place. Yes. and then the waiter comes and Kyle just I don't know why Kyle did this but it cracked

this part cracked me out it's so minute but she goes Um we'll both have a nice-wa-seered for her and Dorit and then Derreet just looks at her like Well look at some having a nice swat Guys Why would I want to have Why would I want anyone to see on my knees

Ows would I say I was like texting her She's Snapchating herself ordering for her and Dorit Just to piss off Vanderbump It was the most L.A brunch order It was like a burger with no bun Avocado toast

Tunisua salads And then Lois was like I'll have a French toast I was like there you go I had a girl And when it goes Mom Lois Lois

How old do you feel Lois And Drieke goes Ah Oh It was hilarious. And then Lois is like, well, I'll tell you one thing. I feel a lot better since I had that stroke. I'm just happy all the time.

Even when my husband died, I was still happier than I would have been before the stroke. I was like, Lois is amazing. Everyone's Googling how to have a stroke right now. And then René gives everyone a duster. They're like, yay, dusters. So then, Kyle's like, I'm worth it.

Never mind. I said, Kyle, and I started doing it a run-a-lap, and I was like, you know what, let's just, let's just move on.

I like when the food came, Doreet, Doreet looks at the French toast, and she's like, looking back, Luce, that's what I said I ordered. You didn't order.

Do you love that Doreet has to point out that she didn't get to order for herself. I mean, Doreet never misses a Doreet moments. Kyle's like, oh my God, that makes so much more sense. I thought when we said French toast, I thought you're going to be like Lafayette toasting to Hamilton. But no, you actually ordered French toast.

Oh, my God. So much more sense. Kyle goes, oh gosh, so she would really get on with this group. And Lois goes, wow, you drink a lot? You girls drink a lot. I'm sorry that Lois is just Kim Richards, but you know I have five voices, okay? It's okay. So we then go over to the Fonda Theater where Hamilton is not playing, and Erica's arriving, and we hear her song.

You know, we hear it, and it's like, my kiddies like a python, ticking like a timbond, limited edition, got to buy it with no try on. And I was like, I just realized, weren't we talking just like a few episodes ago about a fictional person named Trixie Monicle who makes all the royalty-free music? That's what Erica. Erica is Trixie Monicle. Her music is royalty-free music, right? it fit right in if you didn't know her if you weren't paying attention you just think

it's more royalty free music that Bravo piped in it's no it's an actual Erica Jane joint And what do they It's a special baby We know Erica A we know And B what is Lisa Vanderpump's obsession With white people trying to rap

Because it's really, it's two shows now It's like if we're not watching Erica do it here We're watching James Kennedy do it on Vanderpump rules Could you just give us a break? Why are you blaming Lisa Vanderpump for Erica? Because her post shows that Lisa Vanderpump is on. And Lisa Vanderpump has power. She could say,

No more to white wrapping. There said it, poor, Kyle. So Erica is, you know, she's in this empowerment state of mind, and she's saying, she's like, I don't think women should criticize each other. We need to list each other up. I'm like, wow, I'm so glad you decided to come on to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. the most empowering

Yeah like Bravo The most empowering network ever for women And I love that gay guys founded girl power I know I notice that too It's like meet the founder of Girl Cult John Manface So then Erica goes out And suddenly she's Eminem

I don't know what she was talking like this But the lady's like Hey Erica Tell us about your journey or whatever and she's like, I'll say there's enough room at the table for girls. She's got this effective street voice. I don't know why she was talking. You didn't? She's like, Women are the future. There's enough room at the table for women. The lady goes, how do you avoid all the drama? And she's like, yo, if I don't want drama, I don't have drama. That's how I avoid it. I'm like, oh.

Kyle Richards runs on stage. You're making me feel awkward. Cowher just runs on stage. Well, it's pretty easy to avoid drama if you don't have tickets to it, right? hashtag Hamilton So then Erica starts her I had no choice to stick up for myself as a kid There was no one there to save me Like oh my god lady It must be so hard Being an adorable white blonde girl

In the South Like that really sounds like a life that I totally Didn't dream of living every single day A-hole Oh my goodness. That's so funny and true. Anyway, so we then move from being a block away from Hamilton over to Kyle's house where our good dear friend Glenn is setting up the seance. You know, as usual, Glenn is sweating and Harry, he's got a little towel over his shoulder.

At least that's how I remember it. Poor Glenn still hasn't found the candles. What's all Carl does is run around her house going, Glenn wins. Jesus Christ. Glenn is probably like taking a moment. out in the backyard to just to soak in the smiley-face-shaped pool one last time. We've had so many good times out here.

Me running around, getting the white couches set up around us. For a stressful candle day, and I can't smile. You've always kept yours, pool. I never realized that if I just walked at this part of the yard, you'd go from a frown to a smile. That changes everything. I found the candles. Oh my God, it works. Thank you, pool.

Thank you. So, Teddy arrives at Lisa Vanne Pum's house. Teddy Ba' And poor Lisa, she's like, we've had another incident. Pikachu is at the hospital. He's on a ventilator. Now, this is a point in the show where I said, someone dropped a bag of Coke in this house.

So then they show, Snooky jumps up and licks Teddy. And she's like, he's, Snooky's not supposed to be on the couch. And she's like, I'm sorry. She's like, don't you? apologize, she should be apologizing. Erica, little Snooki car. That's exactly what he's not

supposed to do. Go, Teddy. Be an accountability coach to Snooky. Do it. Snooki, do you have something you want to say? Snookie. I love that Snookie's just this big sloppy beast with that ponytail of the center of her head.

It's just the cutest fucking thing. It's like the anti-vander pump dog. It's one of the dogs that I would imagine that Vanderpump would keep in the basement until the cameras are gone. I know. Well, Snooki has now been elevated because Pikachu and, well,

well, we don't know how Pikachu is faring, but Pink Dog. Pink Dog, of course, is Pink Dog. Actually, you know, one thing I felt really bad about for Lisa is that Pink Dog was only five. And like, that's, that really, like, aside from the fact that it's sad when you lose a pet, but when you lose a pet that's like prematurely,

like after, like a five-year-old dog or whatever, that really, really stings. I'm going to kill you if you keep saying dead thaw. I'm going to kill you. I'm not going to talk about outside when they die. Well, when Snowflake died, Snowflake, we had a bunch of hamsters growing up, and Snowflake died prematurely, and that was like the one hamster that I had, like, I was really supposed to be in charge of. And, like, when Snowflake died, I realized, I was like, oh, my God, I was terrible to Snowflake. I was supposed to take care of this hamster, and I didn't.

And now Snowflake has died at, like, a year as opposed to, like, a year. in four months. You can't compare hamsters to dogs, man. No, but I'm saying it's that sense of like... But listen, I'm just saying it like,

you know, it's like when anything dies when it's younger, you know, you feel like that, that, yes. It's not just when any, okay, like me and my sister

had hamsters, they had babies and they ate them. Okay, so that's what I... Wait a second. You're not allowed, you're not allowed to rob me of my snowflake feelings, the guilt that I have heartbrush

to this day. You can't do that. You're right. I totally just kicked you in your snowflake bottles. Yeah, you're sitting here being like, don't mention dogs. I love that you're being a snowflake about snowflake. No, no. You're the one who's being a snowflake here.

You're the one's like, don't say it. I can't think about a dead dog. And I'm trying to relate, like I'm trying to be empathetic that I know the feeling of when a pet dies prematurely. You feel like, you feel an obligation. And when the animal did not get to live its full life, you feel like it's somehow like you're fall. You let the animal down. It was dependent on you to have a long life and you weren't there for it.

And I'm trying to relay my snowflake. I'm sorry, babe. No, it's okay. I do get the feeling and I'm still going to refuse to talk about it. Because this is a fun scene and I'm not going to break down about having to put my dog down. Oh. When I didn't take care of it properly.

Zina. It was my fault. So, let's move on, shall we? God damn you. Tell us your feelings now. No, I'm not coming right on this goddamn show. No. God damn, damn. Well, either way, so here's what's funny about it.

So, you know, Lisa's sitting there. She's in all black. She's fully in mourning. And she's talking to Teddy. She's like, you know, I didn't hear from Erica. I didn't even hear a couple of words. I didn't even hear a little, it's expensive to be me. Yeah, poor Kyle.

That would be Lisa Vanderpump's first single. Lisa Van der Promp. Bull Kyle. So she's, they're talking about going to them. They're all funny. They're talking about going to the psychic at Kyle's house. And she's like, unless Pink Dog comes through and starts barking, I'm not interested. So they go over and the psychics there, or the psychics coming, and she's talking to the kids.

And Kyle's like, she's really good. She's giving me names, dates, sleeve advice. I was like, get rid of her. Get rid of her, clowny. Okay. She was a great babysitter when I had to go to Hamilton last week. Did I tell you I went to see it? It was so good.

Changed my life. She told me I was going to get tickets to Hamilton. She actually got a phone call from Alexander Hamilton himself. He was like, get this lady some tickets. So really, like my tickets came directly from the source. The agents. So Erica and Renat are coming over together in the Linot. Limbo talking about it.

And I don't know, what is Rinnas deal with giving everybody a dust? Oh, I guess because Erica wasn't at that thing. Lisa Rinn is just on a duster tear at this episode. Can you get a duster too?

Can I have an Arnold Palmer? I'll trade you for a Lisa Rennad duster. I have so much excess inventory. Just take it. The new lines coming in. Own it, baby. Literally, you get to own it. Your own duster.

So Vanderpump is like literally sad. and then she's entering this party with Sad Sack Teddy. He was just like, Teddy, why do you have to be the most depressing person in the world no matter where you are, okay? She walks in and she goes, whether you like it or not, we're here. How kind of way is I to make an entrance? God. Oh, my goodness.

Then Dorita rise. I can smell the fresh paint call. You can put lipstick on a pig, you know the saying about asshole. I mean opinions. What am I saying? It was a dream. A dream come true. Textiles. Smells. Feelings. Okay, Doreet. Shut up. Just take a seat, Doree.

Leave it to Doree to show up smelling fumes. My nose still works, too. So, um, so they all, they all get there. They start having dinner. And Erica's like, oh, well, actually, I'm sorry. Erica, um, uh, Erica tells Rina in the car. She's like, so I got some Erika Jane business in Berlin and I was thinking that we could all go and Rinne's like,

oh, yes, baby, yes. Berlin, Germany, bratwurst, curry versed, Bachwurst, Loiswurst, Liverwurst, Germans, Schnitzel, Spetzel,

What is Erica Jane business in Berlin, by the way? It's a new flavor of Frappuccino. Coffee chip. I'm going to be doing a performance of the Cad of her, and I'll be singing in the cafeteria on the fourth floor. I've been invited to visit Parvati. You got a coupon for Parvati cheese. Please just have a seat, Erica.

Is Parvati a cheese still a thing? And isn't Pavarotti? Isn't Pavarotti Italian? Ben, really get it together in this podcast. Seriously. We're just wasting our time. Why are you yelling at me about, I've never heard of this cheese, Pavarotti cheese?

Because I'm a total idiot. I'm just saying dumb thing after dumb thing, and then I'm blaming you because, you know, maybe people don't know our voices yet. Did you mean HaVardi? Is that what you're saying? Parvati. What is Parvati?

Oh, God. Now I look it up. Guess what I have up now? Hamilton songs. Genesis songs Okay Parvati Parvati

No that's Pavarotti Parvati is something Let's see what that is Yeah she won Survivor She's the goddess of fertility Well that And a cheese And a cheese

Oh I love that fertility cheese Yeah so Harvati Havradi Oh my God Just pretend I'm not here Continue carry on You know my friend Eva Who actually listened to the podcast

Hi Eva We sometimes The nickname we gave her was Havardi. No joke. Sometimes we call her Havardi. A Havardi cheese. Yeah. Oh, my God.

So, anyway, so Erica, Erica arrives at Kyle's house. And she's like, oh, hello, psychic. And just totally ignores Teddy. She's like, it's too hard to be her. Yeah. And Vanderpump, oh my God, this is so good. So Rina comes up to Van der Pump, who's about to start crying. And she goes, hi, Lisa, Vanderpump.

I have something for you. And Lisa thinks it's like a gift for mourning. And so Lisa's like, thank you for being so kind. Like she opens it and it's a Lisa Rennon duster. It's like, I just thought, you know, that was so kind of her. We haven't had the best relationship, but we're all, wait a minute. What's a dust? You fit gross you in this bag.

Kyle's like, Lisa, I'm so sorry that you're still in mourning. I get it. You know, losing someone, a son or dog, whatever. That can be hard for anyone. I mean, take Alexander Hamilton. He lost his son. I saw it. I saw it.

Sometimes it feels like we're just going around and around, Lisa. Sort of like the stage in Hamilton. Which I saw. Now what is your name again? Alexander Hamilton, is Alexander Hamilton? Oh, Teddy, my little Teddy Barry, right-hand man? Okay, so Teddy's like, I think Erica not acknowledging my presence. Pretty much says where we stand.

Which is true. And then Eric is like, It's weird too difficult to be friends with this check. Like, or other, I'll have to work that hard to be friends with anybody. I'm like, no, but Tom does. It's too difficult to be friends with Teddy. That's a be my valid, actually. So, let's see here.

They sit with the psychic, and she's like, Hi, I'm Rebecca. I'm not a crazy person. That's as far as I can tell. I'm not a crazy person at all. Anyway, I have been receiving phone calls from heaven on my telephone. Vanderpump's like, how? How do you do this?

What are you, what on earth are you talking about? I demand proof. And Rebecca's like, well, heaven knows my phone number. Wait a minute, how did they learn your phone number? Well, it's heaven. They sort of can know everything, kind of. I'm listed in the white pages. It's actually just like a cloud with numbers in it. Do you know rap? I'll hire you for one of my questions.

Lisa, just not believing anything, is hilarious. Yeah. The psychic, who I wrote down, Opsie, so that's where my head was at. She goes, I'm brinching the gap between tech and spirituality. Didn't she do this spiel once before? Isn't this? This is not the first time we've heard this, I think. I think we heard it the last sound. Yeah, I think the last sounds with, I think Faye Resnick was there or something.

and Rebecca's like I call God Papa God and yet he never sends me a pizza Stupid and wonderful So Jareet's like Papa God Right

And Eric is like So it's rich Is that what you're saying Vanderpump's like Wait a minute Let's go back to this You get heaven on the phone That's a load of nonsense

I can't even get Neiman Marcus on the phone I like I like The implication of that joke is that Neiman Marcus is, like, somehow, like, easy to get a hold of? Right? No. I'm back in great.

Yeah, Neiman Marcus is supposed to be easy. They can't even get that on. They have a number you can call the business, you know. Oh, I'm sorry, poor Kyle. Do I need to change that reference to Yogurt Planet? Kyle, do I have to change that reference to Neiman Hamilton? Oh, Lisa, thank you. That actually does help.

Okay, so they go out to the dinner table And of course, when it's like Oh, how pretty This table looks so pretty What a table! Whoa! And Kyle's like, what did I miss? That's a song from Hamilton, everyone.

Anyway, what comes next? Also another one. Guys, maybe it's time we take a break. Another Hamilton reference, guys, that's three for three. Come on now, you got to catch up. All right, guys, it's intermission. It's not a song in Hamilton, but it did happen. So Lisa confronts Eric, before they go outside to Glenn's table scape,

Lisa grasped Erica and was like, I'm sorry, Erica, but you say that we're good friends, and yet you didn't even reach out to me about Pink Dog. Well, why would I? It's a terrible hot dog shack. I never go there. Just get some Hebron nationals. No, not Pink's hot dogs. pink dog my fifth

favorite dog she died oh oh I'm sorry about pink dog bird I'm sorry dude yeah come here

can I do something very not very sure go on then I like the Lisa's like it took us two years to get close

and I don't want to drop the ball I'm like well don't throw it either it's just gonna make you start crank again so yeah so erika's like well i mean no offense i didn't even know until just like now which i think is totally i think that's totally legit oh no i think it's legit you think that she already knew of course these ladies call each other about every little thing she was just in the luma with renna for an hour you know

rinder was probably like Lisa vanderpump's dog passed away I'm giving her a duster you're right she probably did know a duster of a duster of morning it's a black duster be sure to wear a piece of black tape on the side that's my cry I laugh like this but I cry like this Camille's like that's funny because I have a reverse more like this

so so now so now so now I just wrote down Kyle needs a taco yeah Kyle's like I'm having a taco I mean I stay on my dad

I exercise but sometimes they need a goddamn taco Glenn's like, me too. And then Teddy's like, I figure what she's talking about. Is it psychics? Oh, no, she's talking about eating because Kyle's like, sometimes I just need to eat. And Teddy's like, yeah, you know, sometimes people eat for hunger. And sometimes it's just an emotional response. And Erica goes, yeah, whatever.

Which was basically me at weight watchers at like 13 or whatever. Erica's just like, yeah, whatever. I think Erica is still struggling with the notion of what an emotional response is. What is this thing called an emotional response? I've been traded to do this ever since I started this goddamn show. You know what I deal with tonight? Did I do it right? Did I do it right?

So Teddy goes and sits down next to Erica, and everyone's like, nice choice, Teddy. And they're, like, basically not talking to each other. But Erica does the classic girl thing to, like, broker some goodwill. She's like, so, Teddy, those earrings are really good. They're really good. I'm saying this because I just spoke at a girl cult thing, and I know I'm supposed to lift you up, so I'm lifting you up by your big earrings that are really good.

She's like, why? Thank you. Okay, so, you know, emotional eating. Oh, there's that way to it again. So the psychic's like, uh, guys, Marilyn Monroe's at the end of the table. Oh, God, do we have to do Marilyn Monroe references again? We just barely got through it last week.

Why were we even, why were we talking about? Marilyn Monroe last week? Why is Marilyn Monroe just fucking everywhere? I feel like every psychic is like, guess who's here? Marilyn Monroe. Guess what? Marilyn Monroe is off doing pills in some bathroom, fucking the ghost of JFK secretly. Let's not pretend that Marilyn Monroe is showing up to your fucking taco party, okay?

Listen, I'm sure Marilyn Monroe is interested in these housewives, just like she is. She's probably like, listen, I'm grabbing a seat. I want to see what's going to happen here. You know? Next to Frank. Yeah, Marilyn Monroe is pulling up next to... Yeah, Marilyn and Rose pulling up next to my guys. Yeah, let's be honest.

Marilyn Monroe's got better things to do. Goes Marilyn Monroe is not here for this seance. Okay? She's like, uh, whatever. She'd barely leave her trailer when she was alive. Now she's not socially anxious anymore at all. She's going to come to random people's parties. Come on.

She's probably having an argument with Arthur Miller. Let's be honest. So, um, so yeah, the psychic is that. What's interesting about that? Well, either way. The psychic is like, oh, guys, by the way, Marilyn Monroe is here. And also, um, Franny. I'm getting a franny.

And then in classic, you know, psychic form, like the people have to do the work for the psychic. So Renna's like, Franny, that's like Francis. Francis, that's like Frank. My dad was Frank. He has a Frank person too. Get it. She's like, Lisa Rina, Francis just told me that Marilyn Monroe apologizes for accusing Arthur Miller of riding bus stop. That was William.

It's a very literary seance. Marilyn Monroe is here. Blame Marilyn Monroe for that. She's like, Remember when Arthur Miller wrote into the woods? Eugene O'Neill is here. Eugene O'Neill is here, and so is Ibsen, and they are bickering.

With Francis, about who gets Marilyn Monroe. Like, can you still have a long day's journey into night if it's the winter? That's like, I don't know why they're so obsessed with that argument, but it's like, whoa, quiet down, I'm trying to read these ladies. You want to hear about a long journey. Going to meet Teddy that day took almost 19 hours.

Think flare left early. Does anyone feel like their feet are on fire? Am I just a cat on a hot tin roof right now? Brick. Hey, guys. Has anyone seen brick? Brick. Why don't you come out of the room, brick?

I wrote John Legend, but that's not what she said. Because Becca's like, this is a round table. There's good energy when things around. It's like, tell yourself what you need to tell yourself. Kyle's like, well, I was going to say that Kyle made them, she's like, guys, let's go have our sands inside. You know, I think we all want to be in the room where it happens. The room where it happens.

Do anyone get it? Oh, no, I guess I was the only one to Hamilton. It's a big song. Oh. But who did she say was there, John Wayne, or Billy Idol, right? John Wayne. I don't seem to remember. Billy Idol did.

Who else was? Billy Idol's a lot, but he still could have been there. Yeah, because she's like, someone else is over there. And Doreet's like, It's my husband's idle of all lives. Oh, no, no, no, no. It was John Lennon. I wrote John Lennon.

I was like, when did he die? I would have been so sad. I love him. Yeah. Rebecca is like a little full of herself that she thinks all these legendary stars are just following her from San to San. She's like, guys, not only is there great energy in here, but John Lennon's here too.

So, if he was, Yoko would be there taking fucking ticket money. Like, I could imagine, I'm just going to gloss over that. I can imagine Marilyn Monroe coming to hang out because I could see her being a housewives fan. There's no way John Lennon's hanging around this group. He is going, he's like going hanging out like at some artsy farxy, like trying to be young. He's like ghosting around like. He's in a sorority househouse.

Or something. Mumford. No, he wouldn't do Mumford and Sons. He'd be just like, I don't know. He just be with, he wouldn't be with the housewives. He just. just be watching love over and over again at Cirque de Soleil. By the way, I was asked...

And I don't blame him. What a show. I also really appreciated that when the seance began, Kyle was like, there was going to be absolutely no electronic cigarettes, and then we got a flashback of Alison Dubois. And even though we just covered that episode last week in Houston, I still was like, oh, my God, Alison Dubois. No that. No that.

So Kyle's like, what kind of cut does my mother want about all my projects? Just tell me now, okay? I'm already going to take this shit for my sisters. and she's like, she just wants to talk about her clothes and her hair and her jewelry. She just wants to make sure the portrayal of her is true to her nature. And she's like, oh, yeah, that's totally, Alicia Silverstone. Time Daily, baby. Can you tell my mom we've made a few creative edits in the past week?

Like, we're now going to set it in the Revolutionary War period, and there's going to be a lot of singing, and it's basically just going to be Hamilton. Yeah, and instead of smacking me on the head with her. purse, she's giving me gum for her purse and saying, Mori got you tickets to Hamilton. Okay? So then Rebecca focuses on Derreet and she's like, I'm associating a bill with you. I'm like, yeah, probably for several thousand dollars.

And Derret's like, apparently like, then Rebecca's like, so by the way, in a previous life, Derreet, you were like on a boat to Greece, but you were running late and that's how you met your husband. She's like, oh, oh, guys, guys, that sounds like me, guys. I don't get it either, guys. To read late. Maybe she does know what she's talking about. It sounds so me, guys.

It's so me, because I love being on a boat, and I love the musical Greece, and I like meeting husbands, guys. Kyle's like, yeah, and I love tacos, and I'm glad to have one today. Me too, honey. Hamilton. So then Rebecca moves on to Vanderpump. She's like, Lisa Vanderpump, Pink Dog is here. she's like oh that's amazing she's like I saw it on Twitter I respected Rebecca for at least a net at least declaring that

she's like full disclosure I know exactly I've been stalking you yeah she's like also Erica's psychic too and Erica's like oh yeah I am you got that one right that's why I'm so closed yeah and I thought for a second she said closed and I was like I thought Erica was going to say something like yeah you know I've been one then I feel like I get like a psychic connection with someone It's just like a thing, but like nothing real. But no, Erica, she just like jumps into it.

She's like, yeah. Yeah, there are two people in this world that I have. I've seen their entire lives in front of my eyes. And when in a previous life, I was, I was kidnapped as a boy. I lived at the bottom of a ship. And then I was in Spain. I lived in Spain. I was kidnapped.

And then my family hired a night to come save me, but I never found me. So I've been on the bottom of that ship ever since. But I love tapas as a result. I feel tapas. I feel like every shrink out there listening. to that was like, ugh, that's so on the nose.

Like, I can't even take your money. I know. God. It was a bit, like, romantic for a psychic,

psychic vibe. Here's my dad right now. Just asking if I need anything. It's like, okay, too far. So Vanderpump's like, but Erica, how do you know?

For sure. What's the proof? Tell me the proof. Where's the pudding? I love pudding because I'm British. Guess what's in the pudding? The proof, Erica.

Herica's like, well, I know. it's true because back in my former life when I was just like a little boy at the bottom of a boat, I created a song called It's Inexensive to Be Me. I got so sick of hearing it and threw me a lifeboat and stuck me out of there. That's how I got saved. You don't know how many dolphins followed our little boat around whenever I started singing.

Back then, they didn't call it rapping. They just called it Talking. That's my bruce. I had a song called, my pussy's like a gangplank walking out on top of the ocean now I'm back on top of the ocean now I'm on the boat give me some sea tack salt tack hard tack whatever it's called so let's see here so then they all they're all dying inside while Erica tells her story and then they're like Rinna's like I was so boring in my past life I'm sure I had one but it wasn't that exciting it's probably a farmer or in prison or a whore in the 1800 when there was no air conditioning just poop in the street 1800 so then Rebecca turns to Teddy and I was like there's a female here is there there's a female do you know someone do you know a lady who died once and he's like um yeah my sixth great friend died

riding horses because you know I used to ride horses every weekend in my life oh yeah yeah she she her neck hurts or something like that. She says I saw her head in her neck and Teddy goes, she broke her neck. I think, well, unless she was shot on top of the horse. You just said it, Teddy. It's like, do you have a house with a big

deck? Yeah, they're like, oh my God. Yeah, she likes to visit that house. She just comes until nighttime and then she goes to the double tree. It's like, God damn, that little dead bitch. I just think my ghost friend is weird. That's all. I didn't say anything bad.

I just said it's weird. It's weird. Like, why would you haunt my deck and then, like, go to the double tree? I would like to thank my little ghost girlfriend for at least telling the psychic that she's going to the double tree. What do you think of that, Erica? We're horrible human beings here. So she's like, I forgot about her, but I'm glad I remember her now. So then the phone rings and I was like, my mom's calling.

Yeah, so then they're like, let's take this back outside. So I was like, let's leave the room where it happened. It's call back. No one? So they're sitting out there and Erica's like, So I got some Erica Jane business in Berlin, where I was once a little girl two lives ago. And I'm sitting there. You guys might want to come to Berlin?

What do you guys think? And I was like, I like that she invited everyone. I was like, is this, is Rebecca coming also? I know, poor Rebecca. She's like, don't worry, guys. Marilyn Monroe invited me to Palm Springs. I'm going to be playing some putt-put with Charlemagne. I've got to stop laughing.

My head is going to explode. My temples are like pulsing. I've been laughing too much. So she's like, I'm even asking tennis, because it's important to remain a group. Like, okay. Erica. You've really learned a lot.

Yeah. So Kyle is like awkward spice. So Teddy, she goes, So even you, Teddell. And Teddy's like, well, you didn't even look me in the face. She's like, okay, well, now I'm looking at you in the face. God.

Kind of a dick. Teddy. Just take your invite, Teddy. Yeah. Just just say yes and just go along with it. Yeah. So, now I'm looking at you in the face, and so now I can say, I'm sorry. However, pretend amnesia is different than real amnesia.

Can we admit that? She's like, okay, I'll be accountable for that. Yeah, exactly. And basically, Teddy is like, yeah, I think she's just like basically apologizing because it's convenient for the group. But I'm not afraid of her. I'm Teddy. I'm not scared. I'm Teddy.

And then Eric is like, well, I'd like to take all. I'd like to take all your husbands by giving them my blog. everyone's like Are we supposed to laugh at that? I don't really get that joke But okay, I guess that shows that you're You went to grill a call and you're not gonna That's empowering. Yay.

Yay. And that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Bevel a Hoos. Oh wow. Fun episode, fun episode. So our usual ending spiel Which is go to watchwrapins.com to buy tickets to our Detroit show this Saturday, as well as various other shows that we're going to be doing,

and you'll be hearing more about those. We are doing ticket giveaways. It's the Instagram thing. Just put a video up on Instagram, talking about why you want to come see us live and just at us and use hashtag WW Crappins and hashtag Crappins live. And the winner gets two VIP tickets, which includes a meet and greet and a preferred seating.

And then, of course, second place is two general admission tickets. So go do that. And in the meantime, we're going to be, back manana to discuss this week's latest episode of Summerhouse. Summer House. We'll see you then, everybody. Bye. Bye.