Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Textes Blizzard

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

iMessage takes center stage again in this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as Teddi changes her story and produces non cropped screenshots of her phone. There's one last question we need answered: will Kyle finally get stuck to the floor? To hear this week's bonus episode breaking down the Real Housewives of Potomac trailer and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! GOODBYE, KYLE! Available at crappensmerch.com. **Crappens Live is coming to Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Pittsburgh, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches! Betches! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Aaron McNickolas! She don't miss no trickle-ists. Hot dang!

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Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthews sisters. Give him hell Miss Noel! Kelly Grant the Grant Master! We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on he-yo broadskin' I'm Ronnie Kerim and I'm here with my co-host and little Bestie Mr. Ben Maddleker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Ireland. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, how's it going?

Everything's just great. I'm happy to be here for another Beverly Hills episode a very special one. Does Lisa get caught in her backhand? How could you? But before we get to that, we have announced our show in Pittsburgh. It's going to be amazing. Since July, coming to Pittsburgh, so excited about it. Go get tickets for that. We're also soon coming to Phoenix and Portland, right? One right after the other. Go get your tickets for Bayette and then Irvine. Yeah. For tickets for everything, a schedule of our shows, go to watch itcrapons.com. We are also going to go ahead.

I was just going to say that the Pittsburgh tickets are going on sale to the public on Friday, but for right now there's a Patreon pre-sale. So if you want to make sure that you get yourself a ticket, if you're a Patreon backer, then you will have access to the ticketing link right now. That's going to last through Thursday night at 10 p.m. and then on 10 p.m. Eastern and then on Friday morning at 10 a.m. Eastern, the tickets will go on sale to everyone. So it's sort of like a pre-sale phase. So get them while you can. Well, also everybody, we have new shirts out today. It's our announcement for today. Since it's real housewives of Beverly Hills Day,

one of the most requested shirts of all time, goodbye, Kyle. Bye, Kyle. So if you want to come around, goodbye, Kyle. You're a goodbye, Kyle shirts. Go over to crappensmerch.com. You can also find that link at crappensmerch.com. You can also find that link at watchortcrappens.com.

They come in lots of cute colors and lots of cute different styles, lady seashore, super soft, regular soft, v-neck, sweatshirt, sweaters. We even have baby clothes. Or we have, you know, big travel bags and stuff like that. So go over there and get you one of those. And there's only two more days to buy your Kansas Leuand leggings and shirts. Those are out of here by the end of this week. Yeah, and if you missed the other announcement,

we are, in fact, going to cover the final season, which is like six episodes of Game of Thrones, we're going to call it, Winter is crappin'ing, And you don't have to do anything. This is just sort of like an alert. It's gonna just appear in the regular podcast feed. Hey, and if you don't listen to Game of Thrones, no big deal. Don't be.

Yeah, just scroll along by, okay, don't have a fit that we're doing Game of Thrones in there, everybody. Relax. Relax, for sure. You're still gonna get your regular five days of crappin's. That's nothing to do with Game of thrones again it's not going to interrupt anything it's not even it's not a picture on anything is just a fun thing because we

i have now caught up on game of thrones i have joined ronnie and aka also the world and we just thought you know what there's only like a few episodes left of this show so why not like bring our crap and sensibility to it without be fun so yeah something to look forward to in april yeah we've got a lot of a lot of crappy, you know, reality shows crappy in the way that we love, but it will be really fun to do a really classy television in our style. Exactly. And we'll try to do some, you know, I think the first, I think it comes back, is it like Easter Sunday or something like

that? I think it is somewhere around there, but we may do an episode or two beforehand just to get everyone pumped and ready and get get the juices flowing So just more of a programming alert more than anything else, you know, okay? There it is. Why not? Why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how we decide to do everything we go. Hey, why not? Okay, yeah, why not hey? Wanna start a podcast? Why not? Yeah, I'm gonna start a game of drugs one Why not? Yeah, wanna go to Pittsburgh? podcast why not yeah, I'm gonna start a game of drugs one Why not yeah want to go to Pittsburgh why help not what I say We're doing everything we're going to Pittsburgh. We're talking game of thrones. We're selling new t-shirts I mean come on like we'll take we're taking it all on we're hosting more than house like baby How sweet, baby! Ha ha ha ha!

Okay, baby. Ha ha ha ha! I also want to do something, you know, sometimes I forget that we keep on, we've brought on a lot of new listeners, which we're so excited about, we're so excited that, you know, this podcast would start off so small and now we are where we are and sometimes we forget that a lot of listeners are pretty new and sometimes we have these ongoing jokes that have been going on for years. And we forget that not everyone even understands what they are.

And one of them that we've been doing a lot this season is Camille Grammer and Mauricio talking. And a lot of people are like, why is it that whenever they impersonate Camille, they always talk over each other. And the reason why is because like in season three of the show, there was a scene where Camille Grammer was trying to explain how she felt about something like

Adrian Maloof's wedding barren noodles, but she didn't really know how to say it. So Mauricio just sort of took over and started explaining how she felt for her and she just sort of mouth along Mauricio and is one of our favorite clips of all time. So I'm gonna play it now, cause we haven't played it in actually probably like two years

and just to catch everyone up on one of our favorite things, okay? Okay. Now how sad that we're gonna be celebrating somebody else's, yeah, we've been the same day that we hear about our friends split. So upsetting. I know. It is like amazing when you listen to it.

That he's like, okay, I'm going to speed this along. So sad that when we, uh, celebrate, uh, celebrate, uh, songs, uh, you know, the, uh, friends, like, yeah, they spit up. What I'm I like. Yeah, the wedding. Fading. You know, it was it was a I think was Paul and Adrian splitting up. I think the news of that was coming through while Lisa and Ken were renewing their vows. I think.

Yeah, who knows, but God, that's so that still makes me laugh. And Camille still does it in every scene. She's in it cracks me up. And the way that she kisses people with her mouth wide open like a fish. She's like And just One you close your lips. You can't close your lips. I'm sorry. Sorry Oh this show now something else is very consistent with this show. Now something else is very consistent with this show that I really sick of is Kyle plugging everything all the time.

We open up with Kyle going to the agency. Okay, done with it. Steep Kyle, steep agency. Yeah, yeah, she walks in and she like, you know, she plodds on over to Mauricio's office. She's like, oh, I feel so much better now that we drop Sofia off. I was like, oh, I'm like, okay, we're really gonna drag out the Sofia off to George Washington moment, like into this episode too.

Yeah. Sofia, you're just like Kyle show. Canceled. Just kidding. Sofia's like totally nice. Like, I have nothing to say. Yeah, she's like a pretty lovely teen girl. Yeah.

So Kyle's like, yeah, everybody leaves a field alone online. You guys going after children on that you guys personally, I just mean you world going after people's children on the internet. Come on. Yeah, unless we say it's okay. Because we'll go after some children for sure. But um, so Kyle is, uh, she's all stressed that American woman, which is her TV show that she she produced that was based on her family. She's stressed that it hasn't been picked up yet by the Paramount Network. And she's so ridiculous. She's like, you know, it just it means a lot to me because you know, it's my way of keeping my mom's memory alive, you know, especially now that we've

been robbed. I'm like, it's a show with Alicia Silverstone on it. This is this. What do you know, especially now that we've been robbed, I'm like, it's a show with Alicia Silverstone on it. This is, what do you mean, this is about you keeping your mom's memory alive. Come on now. That's about some rewriting history. It's about you wanna get some syndication money. Yeah. I really can't with Kyle.

So I'm just gonna let you say everything. No, I just think it's like, just say what it is. Like you want the show to come back for a second season because You want I mean like it's your show you want to come back for a second season But like the add all this stuff up like go through my way of human mom's memory alive You talk about your mom every single episode on this show. Okay, her memory is like very alive and well Yeah, your mom's memory has a walker at this point. It's so alive. Okay alive and well. Yeah, your mom's memory has a walker at this point.

It's so alive, okay? And I'm not trying to disrespect this poor lady who died. I'm just saying, like, let's not, like, let's not add like these layers of like sentimentality to this show. It was a show with Leesius Silverstone. It didn't work out. I'm sorry for your TV loss. Let's move on.

I'm cranky. Well, she's like, well, if it's canceled, at least my sisters will talk to me again. Before I sell that other show, that's also stealing from my sister's storylines. The new one will be about how we have competing real estate agencies after my husband's soul clients from her real estate agency. Oh, I really hope that might get a second season of my real estate agency show I just want to keep the memory of the agency alive. It's like there are signs all over Los Angeles But the agency I just want to keep the memory of my sister Kathy. Kathy is still alive Kyle

So I lost my agency hat and I'm just I want to keep the memory of that hat alive. Oh, here's another one never mind. Oh Lord, okay, so air god What are you doing? I was vaping and I filled my my vape thing up with liquid and I Inhaleed and it like got all over my mouth now my mouth is gonna have nicotine overdose If I have a hard attack that's why I call the cops. I just, and if things go bad, got for bid. I just hope we can do one more episode of this show to keep your memory alive, Ronnie.

Yeah, when I die, every time you do a recap, just say, we're doing this recap today to keep Ronnie's memory alive. The memory of Rondall. Yeah. Well, this is dark. Okay, so Erica is going over to Doreet's fashion suit. She's having in her house.

And Jennifer Lopez is house. The Beverly Beach. How about you pay the guy who invented Beverly Beach? How about that? That would be a good start. Well, yeah. So, yeah, so Doreet is like, there's gonna be a photo shoot for J.M.G. magazine and she's like guys Guys, I think I'd like to be in pink today. Should I be in pink today? They're like, oh

Please You just want to get through this photo shoot and go home and have some Popeyes or whatever You know a lot to think that my job is to lack me badness Beverly Beach with a fake little baby beach. I haven't paid for this baby yet But it doesn't stop it from eating all my boobies. Oh My good mother to Beverly Beach. Oh good. Yeah Yeah, she's like and to have Beverly Beach featured on the cover of the Penny saver, I'm a proud mother And she's Erica's directing it for and shit. Oh

Brain tail you'd be the father girl you'd be the high hill there I said it I found the seven so I get Eric all the same Yeah, you're selling ass not cookies although I guess if you had cookies in the shape of an ass, you could do 2 for 1! Um, so she's helping her, and she reads like... Ericka! He's six, and she takes six! To a different level And Eric is like here's what I've learned the business but to boobs that's it. Thanks for covering everybody Yeah, Mike is at home so mad. He's not getting his yes visuals

Yes, it's I got ten cents for ever. Yes that appears on cable like he's even talking like Erica now. I'm in yes Yes, the case shit. I just want one more. Yes, to keep the memory of yes. A lot. Sir, let us go over. Police that old ladies dream about Belarus. Yes, Lisa Vanderbump is carrying a tray of beverages to show she's

grounded and doesn't eat Russia to do everything for her. Oh, I have. At all, Arizona, I see. It comes from the heat of science of Sedona. Anyway, I cannot confirm if there was Arizona, I see on that platter, but I just, for some reason, I had that vision in my head that you're just carrying Arizona, I see on us over platter.

I feel like she has that just for when people like Denise come over. She's like, yeah, we not have tea brewed for such a miscreant. Today we will be serving Arizona. Nice, it's imported from another country called Arizona. And you know that Lisa probably has like the weird flavors.

Like she has the Jin San Juan, you're like, hmm. Yeah. I like that. That's my smile. Some smarter. weird flavors like she has the Jin-Seng one you're like hmm yeah okay I'm smirking my some smarter Denise I brought you a beverage that I'm not sure where it comes from but it's very exotic it's called Yahoo so Denise comes with her kids she's a cat let him nice place she's a crazy guy house everything why can't you, that's fucking ridiculous. Are those fucking swan? Don't make goddamn motherfucking swans you got.

That is nuts. That's fucking great for you. Where are you gonna make get a swan? And she's like, the swan shop. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, Ken, did you hear that? Pandey, Pandey's cracking up over there. Look at Pandey. Mother, you said the swan shop? Yes, Ken? Pandey, Pandey's cracking up over there. Look at Pandey's. Mother, you said the swan shop? Yes, Ken, Pandey, yes. Pandey's over there, like trying to put coconut on the edge of the glass to steal Tom and Tom's menu in the mean time.

No. How do you keep it, everything? Why? You know, let me tell you something. In my house, oh my god, my printer is printing right now. Why? What's a printing? What's a talk?

We need to talk about. What's a talk about? What's a talk about? We need to talk about. What's a talk? I don't know. I'm talking about. Gus is with my boyfriend. He's clearly printing something from the printer. I was through to him. Here it comes. Here it comes. The paper. Whoa. Can you hear the printer? Just saying. Yeah, of course he hear it. You can do it. What is this? How do you keep this printer so wide? Yeah, Denise is like, Denise is like, yeah, how do you keep it so wide? I never have to start our house. Let me tell you something Aaron I fuck on every single piece of furniture and between the cum stains in the skid marks

It's a mess Listen I want to talk about that listen. I can't help it. I'm overwhelmed my HP is is acting up at the moment Look, it actually know what I have to say. It's not printing anything. No papers even come out. Maybe it's just doing its warm-up thing. I'm still like, I would have some hours on eyes to keep, please. The printer is like, can I just print one more page just to keep the memory of this encroach of July? The printer is your beolar. It literally prints in nothing. It just woke up out of nowhere. I was like, oh no.

Yeah. It's like the Amazon guys outside here comes a printer. It's like, boom. Oh, wrong. Oh, no. Teddy, can you please bring up this printer next time you are at Vanderbump dog, thanks. Oh, God, I can't wait to get to that.

Because it is a big episode. And when I was watching this, I was texting Ben. Like, this is the lamest episode ever nothing's gonna happen so stupid after what's Duret and Kyle Kyle's in the agency Duret's pretending she has a bathing suit line Come on. Yeah, and then it got so good But now let's stay at Vidal Russia for a little while so she's gonna show the kids the horses and the horses a little bitches Diamonds and Rosé the horses cracked me up. They were going nuts I don't think they've been let out their little pan in three years because when they were let out

They were running circles around that dining like that dining table or that the patio table They were just like Pandey stop them and then the dogs are trying to get them. You know, the dogs are trying to play with them or bite them or whatever. And they can crush those dogs, you know. So it was like, it was bedlam over there. It's mayhem. Yeah.

And I like, we learn that Denise has like a bunch of dogs. And she has a dog that like predates wild things. It's crazy. She has a dog that's 22 years old. Oh god, that poor dog. They showed that dog and it looks like tape together car parts I think it's like Teresa Russell or something. It's just oh you know, I would totally isn't unimmed I was gonna make a pond about Teresa Russell and a Jack Russell Terrier, but Teresa Russell Terrier. Yeah, I love you, Zina.

I love you, Zina. My little Jack Russell who's now in Pumpy Heaven Darling. Oh, forget you. And I can't forget you because you're now a giant portrait in my home. Oh, Zina. Oh, then I look at every day and say, Zina, I hope one day, Bula can live up to you.

Oh. Well, let's do something to keep the memory of Zina alive, shall we? Sir. Lalalala. Lalalala. Lalalala. There. That was beautiful.

You know, I really think that we should have another season of American girl. What was I called? I can't never mind. You know what I really think that we should have another season of American American girl. What was the call? I can't never mind. Let me just drink more coffee and like... American woman, don't treat that. American woman. Don't treat that American girl so like second best.

American woman. American woman. American girl is a dollhouse dollhouse. Yeah. So those are my creep, my Lisa's creepy dolls. So that's for another show. So yeah. So Denise is like, my creep my laces creepy dolls so that's for another show so yeah so to me says like and other ladies are fucking upset with Lisa mother fucking grander

pump but she's been nothing but warm and lovely to me I want to make my own decision and I feel like that is every season basically wrapped up in a nutshell yeah pretty much pretty much some new person comes in, gets, you know, entranced by Lisa, and then becomes resentful of it and betrays her. Usually because Lisa's tried to manipulate her, let's be honest, but that's fine, that's fine, we're okay with that. Can't wait till season 10 where Denise puts a new spin on how to betray Vandapan, who's never bought anything 21? So now we go over to 21 So now we go over to Doreet in Erica, you know still hanging out and Doreet is telling Erica about the text messages that the sip air to pump sure oh for crazy Okay, but I have to say the season starts off with the Doreet going oh

Like okay like they're gonna braid each other's hair, you know? Oh, Eee. That's my name for Erika. She's, oh, I see what you're saying. I thought you should just like working her way through the vowels. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee. Eee The glass center for just one year! And sometimes... Why? It's a vowel. It's a vowel.

It's PK of vowel. I'd like to buy a PK. Knees. That temperate vowel. Wow. You can imagine to read on real fortune. I'd like to buy a vowel, but I don't have any money for it. Can I still buy one?

I've got enough money for 97,000! That... I feel like it's like, okay, Dreet, would you like to buy a vowel, say a letter? Yes. Is there an... AHHHHH! She almost solves the puzzle, but the IRS comes in to take all of her vows because she never had the money. You know she's the one who fucks up the puzzle when she has like every single letter and she's been the one who's been like spinning and like like stop spinning, solve it already. There's like one letter left and she's like, that's the way the cookie Let's not walk Tata Tots! That's what I say! There's not enough letters for that, man.

Indiana Jones in the Temple of Pume. What? I'd like to solve it. You know she will. Raiders of the Lost Earth. A bird in hand is stronger than 19 chili restaurants in a row. Who is so some blossoms in you? You can't have your cake and fat it too. So she's telling her... George, Pushing Jin.

So she's telling her about all these text messages. She's like, six pages! Oh, and some are from Teddy and some guy that she's apparently never met before. Name drone, it's possibly sprinkling outside a little bit. Possibly sprinkling. She doesn't trust John's last name for a cast. So she goes, John's back. Oh, sorry. What'd you say? I literally made a stupid joke. I was trying to make a joke on the fact that Blizzard is a also something you can order

at. Is it Derek? Oh my god. That's my bad favorite place. She's like, I'll never trust what comes out of John Heath. Heath's bar blizzards mouth. Ah, guys, I'll never trust John McFlurry. Now listen, I might believe him because I've had a blizzard before, and you can even turn it upside down and it never folds out. Ah, fell out on me.

You know, the blizzard would fall out for her. Because she'd be holding in her hands for so long with milk around the sides. Look, Erica, it won't even fall on my face. AHHHHH! Young lady. AHHHHH! So, she's saying, uh, she got these tags and she goes, INWARE! So she's saying she got these tags and she goes,

You're in well. Tiddy says have the dog at Vendor Popus Dog Center and don't bring it up and Erica goes, Oh wow! Erica's totally by the way, integrating the situation. I feel like we haven't really emphasized that enough, but she is full on instigating this.

They all are. I mean, look, Rinna is doing it. At least Rinna is taking, you know, at least Rinna's only, owning it. She's loving this. And she's totally doing it, but, you know, I don't think people give Kyle and Erica enough credit for this because Kyle has been saying, what about the dog? Ah, you're thirsty, bet that dog was thirsty! Every time she gets... Yeah, you gotta wonder what, the underpumps next play is, right? Yeah, so Erica's like, whoa! And she's like, and then,

text in five minutes before she gets there saying, it's the dog there! And Erica tells us, I'm getting different facts that I've gotten my chapel. Yeah. And but then to read site, but even with the new evidence, I still feel the same way as I did before. I'm like, well, like, but you have new evidence though. Like this is what's wrong with all of us. You run America right now.

We just like, you read just can't Never mind because to me it's so obvious that there she's like okay I got this evidence and then now Teddy has a heads up about the evidence and now you know If cuz Teddy's story was totally different last week. She totally lied or a couple weeks ago She totally fucking lied and mr Representative this whole thing so then she's called out on it and someone tells her oh Vanderpromp Kyler to eat told her well Vanderpromp pulled out all the text that weren't cropped Yeah, and so Debbie comes back with a totally different story where now she's gonna be honest about it after just lying about it and saying

Oh, I never tell a lie never ever tell a lie and Never was still gonna be on Teddy's side because they've all had time to prepare, you know Yeah, and Dorit's, I just don't understand why I'm being made to look bad. I'm like, well, here's probably why because Lisa Vanderpump brought you onto the show and then you talked, mad should about her behind her back last year when everyone's in New York

and then you acted like you didn't and then you made her look like a fool and then on top of everything else, you adopted a dog and did not fall through the protocol and she was really pissed about it, but she didn't wanna seem like a total bitch about it. So she's like, you know what, like, this was all best, by the way,

this was all just a way to sort of just like, bring it up on camera, you know? Like, I don't know, I just feel like, Doreet is acting like she is such a huge victim in all of this. And do I think that Lisa Vanderbump was like trying to be manipulative or up to some shady business? Yeah, of course, but I think like to what end?

Like they're just acting like she was, I don't know, trying to get to read, like kicked out of her house and like all of her money. Like for that's for years. We've already got more years to do that, ladies. Yeah, I just think it's like the reason why I should try to make you look bad is because you did her dirty last season and you know what this is what happens yeah and

you did the dog dirty this season you fucker so yeah more importantly of all like I've got two friends set up to me and Erica goes you gotta think like a lawyer like with Tom drill is stressed out he's working for Bob Otake he always asks asks two questions. What? What's the motive? And two? Why don't you put the scene up, Ericov? Not a goddamn woman, you stupid hooker. I take him to dollar off your lives. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha For a crap and it's commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable.

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to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then we see Rina, she's driving, and calling she's calling someone I think maybe Camille or something she's like hello Hello, are we on for dinner tonight? I can't we begin her tonight I don't think I have a doubt tone. I think I'm just talking to myself right now Still feels really rewarding. I am on for dinner with myself. I am I am Serena's like

Camille's turning 50 that is terrifying when you're 50 in this town You're watch up. You're done. Come put for the town TBC end of the line lights off a rather than the backyard when hair is gonna drop baby over For here at the end off the road No, I can't say no Oh god, boys to men more like men to men. I don't know Yeah, well That's a key is to find out what witches and potions work for you. You know, I mean it's not to keep the happiness really But the key to looking so insane that people start wondering what a lane spaceship

looking so insane that people start wondering what a lane spaceship grabbed into your face and said how old you are. Fuckin' Eden's has soon, am I right? Fuckin' Eden's has soon. So, so, Rinna meets up with Camille at the Tricodero on sunset and there's nothing to make you feel more 50, the walking to the Tricodero. Oh God. That bar. God. I've never That bar. God.

I've never had fun there ever. Yeah. Ever. I used to live right by, I used to live basically across the street from there like, like, directly, feet away. And I'd always try to make the truck adaro work because it's like, oh, it's like my local bar.

I always, I was like, I was like, I was like, fetch. I wanted fetch to work. I wanted the truck adaro to work. It's never good, ever. Nope. I don't know why. I wanted fetch to work. I wanted the chocolate cake to work. It's never good, ever. Nope. I don't know why. Why is it great? It should be good.

It's got bricks. It's got a good location. There's just a lot of douche. There's a high douche question there. Yeah, I once, one time I was across Street of the Cabo Cantina and Slash from Guns and Roses had a birthday party there for his kid, which I thought was weird for many of the questions

But you just described it. Yeah, yeah, you just described the feeling. Yep. So she meets Camille and they're talking to party planners and stuff and Rinna's doing her typical like hi, hi, hello, hello to me this She loves me this way. You're the gorgeous, gorgeous! She's like doing a one woman chorus line in the doorway. Everyone's like, um, can you please know for Camille's like oh, yeah I can't believe I made it 50 and like 50 yeah Been through life Horrible divorce. Yeah, horrible. Yeah, horrible before

Getting Life married getting getting it started new life. Yeah, all right. Wrap it up, Camille. I have five four people to say hi to. So, a setting. I know. So yeah, Camille's like, oh my god, I've been through so much. And Rinne is like, um, oh, so then it turns to the talk of the Bahamas. Ah, right. And she's such a commotion. I'm riding all the girls. It be I mean there was a lot of commotion the Bahamas I'm run as like here's the alchemy which rhymes God I'm press me This is going on for years. I mean forever now forever like cats

Which I loved but I believe you've experienced this whole thing with Lisa Fender pump Isn't your memory? Cats call back just a second ago. I'm in memory. I'm like, I'm wearing a tie or I need to get up on a tie and float off. And so Camille's like, yeah. Yeah, you know this. I've been through the wrath of Vanderpump.

It's terrible because it's a character assassination. Yeah, so you know, like, Rin is excited about this. She's like, oh shit, I don't know. The Camille wasn't it, too. Because then we see a flashback of the famous scene where Camille is like, you know, now we said it, you know, and she storms out. And then I forgot that Camille got mad at Van Pum, because she was like, you tell me to say that.

And then I was like, no, it didn't, nope, nope, nope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, me but you know what wasn't so bad. She's like honestly I feel bad for her you know and you know basically Camille was like I wasn't manipulated I did what she said I don't give a fuck who cares you know. Yeah she's like you know she's going through a tough time and in her defense there's something about Doreet which is so funny because I can imagine Camille saying that with

like come bangs you know like yeah I can also imagine Doreet with come back I can imagine Camille saying that with like come bangs, you know, like yeah, I can also imagine To read with come back. I can imagine her with that little Bob that she has is she does have a something about Mary here style sometimes Yeah, you know, I can imagine Many hairstyles have got businesses and dogs So Camille yeah Camille this is this is great because Camille gets real messy real quickly out of nowhere She's like, yeah, you know, I just get this is there's a sense of phoniness about to read. Wow, ma, there's a sense of phoniness like does she even have all that money? You know, the fake accent, you know, all that stuff. I was like, whoa. Yeah. And then she turns because you know, when Camille

tells the story, she's so dramatic. So she turns around, she goes, she makes the little hairs on the back of your neck. Brickle. Like, what is real? And Rin is annoyed because Rin is just like, listen, this is our takedown man or pop season. She's like, um, Camille's pretty wishy washy. Like last time I checked, they were getting along really well. I mean, see a flashbackback to Camille who's just accused of being a phony you see Camille going like oh I think we're being such great friends now I'm having a great time with the Dereet best friends forever. Yeah well why is she suddenly mad at Dereet they've been made up for two minutes and you're the one who brought the cook drama on Dereet. Yeah every meal says something that I love she's like I mean

did you really want that talk or did she or did she just want to get close to that I love she's like, I mean could you really want that talk? Where did she or did she just want to get close to Vanderpump? It's like ding ding ding. She goes, I just don't know So then the next scene is Denise and she's with her kid and then she starts to our ever has been About putting this wedding together in less than a week or whatever and she's like, I don't really care if people think I'm crazy. I mean, I learned how to have thick fucking skin. People thought I was crazy to manage her

the she know fucking care. Yeah. I also love I love her dog names because well, she has one a dog named baby, which was very rads well chic. Baby. And then I like well she has one a dog named baby which was very rads well chic baby and then I like that she has a dog named George just like a very formal name for a dog I think formal dog names are hilarious like there used to be this show I probably have mentioned it there was a reality show called Great American Dog on CBS which I loved actually and there was this little maltees that was named Andrew. And I just thought it was so funny, a dog named Andrew. Anyway, this is what goes on in my head.

So they, I mean, it's wedding stuff. Like I don't care. Yeah, I'm making more fun scenes and stuff like that. Like, honestly, if you're gonna have a wedding within a week, I don't want to hear about the drama because you set yourself up for it. Yeah, but she doesn't even care. She doesn't care. Her only request is that they don't have portapoddies because her friends will freak out, you know, which I think is so far of best wedding planning I've ever seen. It's like let's see this in five minutes. Alright, so we can have a drink. Yeah, she's like just let me just make sure there's a room in the back where we can fuck before and after and maybe even during. I don't even care about chairs. Just make sure there's a bar.

Yeah, pretty much. So now Teddy goes and meets up with her therapist. She has like the Uber of therapists. The Uber just like comes to you and then like doesn't really give, doesn't really give like, she's not really much more, but not so, it doesn't seem so much like a therapist as more just like someone to like hear her out. Yeah, someone that you pay to go speed walking with. Yeah, exactly. So they're walking along, they're doing like a little hike and Teddy is like, hi, I'm Teddy and I'm in physical pain about my anxiety.

Oh my God. So then she tells her the story. This is a story I typed as much as I could because this is the big thing of the show. So Vanderpump dogs calls me and says that Vanderpump wants us to tell this crazy story or they wanted them to tell me this crazy story. So they like they wanted a me to call and tattletail on to read and I can't even tell you how many calls there were and I admit that I was totally messy and I was involved in it and I'm only gonna 100% and This is like 100% what happened and I mean and then she goes oh and then to read sat down I said you know about this dog thing already and truthfully it like I want to protect her

Because I didn't even hear the original story like the original story they gave me was a lie and that's why I'm so mad And I'm like, oh, okay, so this is a totally different thing than we've already heard and guess what else? I haven't heard that Lisa Vanderpump asked you to do this This is still all through this we're hearing this a conference calls It sounds like we're like Lisa and John Cessar are on one line while she was on the line with John Blizzard and all this and that like I was told an insulated version of the truth. My two takeaways of this are like the story does keep changing a little bit and then on top of that like she's also over dramatizing the act what this all is like all this is even if everything Teddy says is true It's basically like Lisa wants to discuss the situation the dog under read and she wanted Teddy to bring it up on

Can she want the Teddy to be the one to sort of like kickstart the scene like it's really not that big deal You're on a real house. I've show like the point of the show is that y'all gossip about each other and you've actually Convented continuing to gossip about each other just about in different actually been continuing to gossip about each other, just about in different ways. Like you talking about Lisa Vanderpump to Kyle and to Erica and to Dereet and now to your therapist and talking about her and such and being like all upset with her is not that different than Lisa basically trying to say, hey, let's have a scene where I can talk about Dereet. You know, it's like it's like two of the same things. So I just, the other day, I don't understand what's going on. I'm talking off camera with everybody about who's going to say what? And who's going to come after her this and who's going to, you know, so how is that

different? I just don't get it. So Teddy's like, well, the original story wasn't even true. Like, they told me that not only was it in a kill shelter, but that Doree had locked the dog in the basement and it hadn't seen the light of days and months or the the light of day and months Which that's what they had told Teddy she says right? That's what she said that the the the the Sess the Sesson Blizzard guys had told her Yeah, I wouldn't doubt that if Doree kept that talking to me And he's gonna be that wrong. I wouldn't doubt that look like I understand why Teddy why Teddy's annoyed. Of course, I'd be annoyed if I felt like someone's trying to manipulate me, but she's also acting as if like she was forced to

like cover up a White House scandal. Well, she's mad at, yeah, she's mad for the reason that we guess that she's mad. That Lisa, she was under the impression that Lisa was the one who wanted to bring this up. And then when they did bring it up, which by the way Teddy didn't really I mean the other guy brought it out Teddy did say is that the dog yeah, she got mad that Lisa was like I don't want to discuss it. Yes, that would be very frustrating. That would be very very fresh Here's the thing I think enough even though we're talking about that Teddy is changing the story and Teddy's like I and weird way I actually feel like I actually believe Teddy in all this. I just don't understand why she is like so exasperated and truly acting like this is just like something that is so vile and so awful. Like, do I think it's shady? Yes. Could you even make an argument that's tasteless? And yes, that is super annoying that like, if she's

supposed to be in on this plan and then Lisa Vanderpump's actually like, oh, I don't know anything about it, that does suck. I just feel like it's so over-gramatic. Well, she didn't have a problem. She was at all to your Dereet. Yeah, her problem isn't that she did the deed. She had no problem doing the deed.

Her problem was that she was gonna get blamed for doing it. Well, no, well, but she didn't do the deed. She was supposed to do the deed. No, she didn't do it. They brought out the dog and she said, isn't that Doreet's dog? No, she didn't say that. Remember, she didn't say it. She didn't say it. As John Sassah and his sloppy ass, he was like, he's like, hmm, look, look at this. Recognize this dog. Recognize it. Recognize it. Doreet's.

Oh, so then there you go. So then what's the problem? Well, the problem. I don't even know anymore. It's like it's so much. And it's like I'm getting so tired of it. But it's just changing every week. I'm so into it. I love this scandal.

I'm very pro dog scum. So next up, we'll know now we have now we learn there's more text messages. So now a teddy reveals new documents. This is literally like the, whatever those papers that that that spillberg book that spillberg movie was based off of the paper, whatever it's called, the press, the whatever about the Washington Post and Mel Street movies post. So John blizzard.

So the here the new text messages, John blizzard texted Teddy. keep going. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go And then we see a flashback of Lisa making a joke to Teddy at that in that famous scene saying like no Teddy You can't adopt the dog and Teddy's like she married the exact same joke honestly Flaming on whatever I'm like this actually doesn't prove anything But I appreciate getting more text messages because I really enjoy analyzing them Well, she's saying it's proof that she was close with John John Blizzard Because she was making that joke to John Blizzard. I'm like, no, it shows that they work at the same place Lisa saying she's not sitting around

gossiping with some 22 year old on the phone sending back messages on how to set people up is all she's saying. She's not saying she's never met the guy. I will say, I mean, I really do think that they like they I've've been on the society, but I think they totally busted her. Well, they totally busted this episode. I think see and this is this is why I love it because we can all read the same text and everybody online is going crazy for different reasons, you know, and everybody finds whatever they want to read because I totally found proof of what I've been saying this whole time. I'm a little petty. He's a fucking liar, so I can't wait until we get to that part. Okay, we'll get there. Sorry. So'm the steady-use. The fucking liar. So I can't wait until we get to that part. OK, we'll get there.

Sorry. So in the meantime, here's a sad thing. Kyle is one of my most hated of all time. Everybody knows that. But I really like Kyle and Pant of Pump together. I think they're very funny. Yeah. And so that's what makes me sad, because this is

like one of the last episodes we're ever going to give of that. And I think they're very funny together. I know. This actually made me say, I know it made me, this, this scene, especially the way it ended made me so sad. Yeah. So they are going to lunch at the Pauptin Hotel. They went, which is in the Pali Hotel. I'm like, haven't you learned your lessons about the

Pali brand? Don't remember what happened at Pali House. Why are you going to the Pally Hotel? And this time Vanderpump was the one who was late, which is really funny, because she got mad at them for being late. The last time they were at a Pally place. So Kyle has devastating news. American woman was not picked up for second season. She's like, I'm obviously extremely disappointed that none of you Americans watch my show,

but you still line up for Lisa's fucking terrible food, it's her. Why? Why? Yeah. And she's, they start talking about this party of Denise's, because Denise is going to have some kind of, is it a wet, is it the wedding she announced or the wedding party? I think it's the wedding. Wedding is the wedding.

It's like, they like, they decided to do it on Sunday and that's like happening on Saturday, you know, it's the wedding. The wedding is the wedding. They decided to do it on Sunday. That's like happening on Saturday. You know, that's like really quick. Yeah, so she can't go because she's going to an agency party. The seventh anniversary of the agency. No, that importance. The seventh anniversary.

Vanderfums like, I don't know why she's why she's moving so fast. She must be pregnant. Maybe she has consumption. she's moving so fast, she must be pregnant. Maybe she has consumption. These people. So then Denise gets there with Aaron and Denise is wasted. Like she got wasted. She is having the best time.

Because coming all the way from Malibu is not easy to meet people for an early dinner. You know, so she's already wasted. They probably had sex three times in the Uber on the way over. Let's be honest. And they're drunk. So she's like, hello. So Aaron, when was or Denise tell me when you met? Was it instant attraction?

And Denise is like, well, yeah, I mean, I just wanted to fuck him. He was hot. Look at him. Just want to. Yeah. I'm fucking right now. It's got a huge dick. Yeah. It's very big penis. Look how big it's got a huge dick. Yeah.

It's very big penis. Look how big it's penis is. Look, you can see it. It's going all the way down to his knee, right? He's got a hard on. Look at that. He's got a hard on. And they're cracking up.

Yeah. And Kyle's like, I don't know what she's been partaking him on the way here, but her party is already started, okay? It's like, poker and eye that eye leans all over. Yeah. And Denise is, she's drunk and she's just saying everything like isn't in you window, even though I'm pretty sure there's no in you window, she's like, they're talking about ordering. She's like, you on a burger, you on a burr, I'm like,

that's not a sexual in you window, Denise. Okay, pass the water or should I say, the water. Hey, you want to pass the water? Are you a say, the water. You're dick. Hey, you wanna pass the water? Are you a dick? Just give me your dick, I'm drinking. It's got a big dick. You can see on which?

I'm a penis burger, medium, well done. That's how I'll be after he sticks his very large penis inside me. Well, apparently, Aaron has a what's it? It's biggest of babies all. No, I know why the rusty get married This is trying out all her a list comedy. She's like tonight. I don't actually know who Denise is marrying Aaron or his penis Rob the stump Rob the stump. She's it's so time for the Apollo

It's show time at the a pump low the van parlor Apollo Apollo so she's like so Aaron what is it that you do young man and besides underneath and underneath is like oh he's got a really good service. And he's dick. You never tell other women how well and how Joel husband is. You always say, it's teeny tiny. Yeah, Denise is like, all right, you got a teeny tiny. What am I talking about? It's five feet long that dick. It's huge. Like, why do you think we're in Malibu? Because I'm surfing on his dick all day long. And Aaron's just like, okay, I guess he's just going to keep talking about

my dick. This is fun. Oh, he loves it. How do you, what, how do you, how do you think he got his like anything in, in Hollywood? Okay. He's like an energy sound conveyor something another. No, he is a fuck boy. Yeah. This is what fuck boys turn into when they grow up. Yeah. And he went. I mean, he's living on the beach in Malibu. He looks great. He's hot. I'd like to see him naked. I'm not gonna lie. That penis is done. You a lot of goods. So then they leave Vanderpump and Kyle leave together. And they're just cracking up. They can't stop laughing as they leave. They're like, what the hell? Who casts this person?

This is amazing. And that's why I was so sad because it was truly a moment of like, they were just having the best time and just laughing. And like, it looked like two old friends just having a great night together. And it's like really sad to know that the stupid shit is gonna tear them apart and You know and then I I do feel like it's Kyle Richard's doing ultimately. Yep Well everyone's going to be calling him for an appointment

including me and I crack up and leave Then we get everybody's getting ready to go to Camille's birthday party and Hanke's on the bridge being a little jerk and staring down Kyle's cancels And he's getting ready and Brandon pumps like save it for Kyle I think I'm like Teddy and Edwin are getting ready and Edwin has like fashion his hair into like the world's smallest ponytail It's just like, hi, I'm Teddy. No, we're not doing that. I'm gonna keep that ponytail accountable. Have you ever had one scene of Teddy and Edwin where Teddy's not just nagging the fuck out of Edwin?

Well, that's all she does. I'm sorry. He needs to be nagged. If he is decided to put on a little ponytail that the size of the fingernail, he needs a nagging. So we go over the commuels. Thank you for that laugh. Like half grown, half laugh of support. Thank you for that miniature ponytail's worth of a laugh. I will support you with my laugh, but not my words. I will support you with my laugh, but not my words. Okay. I want to forgive you and I want to forget you. No, never.

I would never forget you, man. That was a hills cross over my god. It's what we will never be hiding. That minute, no, that minute, that minute, that point of tail, though, for real. Never. Never. Never.

Don't do that, people. Never do that. Never, ever do that. You were married to John Cougar Malin, Kim's daughter and that's what you're gonna do in her household, where a miniature ponytail, it was bad enough that we had to sit through your fedora and tank top, okay? And now you're gonna do a miniature ponytail, these are wrong moments. No one, especially someone who is the daughter, rock royalty, deserves to have that in her house.

Well, if you can't do a little ponytail as John Cougar melanch, John Cougar melanchamps son of law, who can you? I'm probably John Cougar melanchamp didn't drive down there, right? Punch him in the face like you don't get to walk with your daughter. Yeah. So then we go over to Camille's and Camille's. She is a wall extravigant. She is like wall overload. So then we go over to Camille's and Camille's doing her extrab again. She is like, wow, overlaid. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Oh look at you, always gorgeous. Beyond, oh, this is beyond. Beyond oh, hi. Oh, and then Renek comes in in true Renna fashion I feel like sometimes Rina shows up like that page and clue the movie, you know like the door opens like You know, you're singing telegram your singing telegram. Jop. Jop.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna bump to Schuzer from the side. I'm Mr. Baudi. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah.

So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah.

So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. So then Erica's there and so Erica's like, oh, let's get this show on the road. Hey, why don't you tell Teddy about the text that you saw, you know? So they go outside to now have this like big moment. Oh God, okay. So I know I typed these all down. So let me see where I've typed them all down. Well, while you look for where they're typing,

type down. Teddy starts going, this is her new, this is her new angle. She's like, hi, I'm Teddy. I was involved, but none of it would have happened. If Lisa Vanderbump hadn't given me, given them direct orders to constantly contact me. Teddy, that's like not a very accountable thing to say.

Okay. Like basically like, well, I only did it because she told me to do it. But she didn't even tell her to do it. That's what cracks me up. She did it on a third hand order. It's like you're the worst. You're the worst at this.

You are terrible at this. And also how stand up that bad at manipulation. I are terrible at this. And I still have a standard plan. I'm that bad at manipulation. I mean, everyone says how good she is. This is terrible. It's just sloppy and weak on everybody's part. Yeah, I still really like Teddy. I just feel like I'm watching a train wreck.

I'm like, Teddy, you are better than this. Like you said, you're not doing it right. Yeah, and so Teddy's like oh look I can tell you this to read I want to start fresh and nothing would have happened without our orders and to read Like well she said this was between John Kind of raining hard possibly. It's gonna be here today and you and Teddy's like no they sought me out because of our past and because of the info vendor pump fed me and me up because of our past and because of the info Vanderbump fed me and Eric is like, well you're explaining it because on its faces it has pretty shitting. Alright that's

what you do. Let's just get it out on the table because that's what you're doing here, honey. Yeah. And so then she tells us, Teddy tells us that she's pissed because Vanderbump was acting like, no, don't don't you yeah which was pretty fun because Lisa did a terrible job unlike her part of the scheme she's like what I don't even know who to eat is this a person I know right I know it's this beautiful dog here that's all I know nothing I know nothing I don't even know how to speak what are these words coming out of my mouth boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob and Teddy's like I was set up and I took the bait but I couldn't go through with it I didn't What are these words coming out of my mouth? Boo-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-b That's why Teddy started backpedaling so much. I was wondering why she was acting like that at the dog place when she said,

Yeah, I knew about it, but you know, I didn't say anything because they told me not to say anything, which by the way, she did say that. They told me not to say anything over there. And she, someone told Lisa Rina, Lisa Rina wasn't just swimming around there acting like a damn shark for no reason. Well, I'm assuming it was Kyle told Lisa Rina. Well, Kyle, yeah, well, but Kyle was also, I mean, I don't know what was said to Lisa run off camera, but what we at least saw on camera, Kyle said these things right in front

Lisa run his face. So that way Lisa run was like, what's going on? So then the next day she's like, okay, someone tell him what's going on with that dog, you know. So Kyle created that situation at the very least. And so now you have Teddy, who is just like, she's obviously triggered. This is obviously something that she does not like

to feel like she's someone's pawn. This is I think, and this is something that goes much deeper, which the therapist says, you don't like being out of control, but maybe she's right, because she's like, I don't care about all this petty crap. This is like, somebody I can't look at anymore. You just set me up, you just talk about Lisa.

You just set me up, and now you're pretending like your hands are so clean that so you can be relevant, and you can be the hero to Dereet, and me, the bad guy, fuck you. I'm like, I feel like you are projecting a lot of things onto this moment. Well, it says me who's projecting a lot of stuff onto this entire discussion, but whatever.

Yeah. I could be hit the great. I'm allowed. And Dereet's like, well, it's just focus on what we know I'm the victim in all of this I know so then Lisa and Kyle show up together and Kyle sees the women all talking she's like well this doesn't look very inviting I'm like yeah I don't be a few seconds before you shove yourself right in there yeah so Teddy continues this is the first time I've done this to someone?

And, you know, I did it because last year, Lisa Venterprompos, the only one to call me and be nice to me. And Erica's like, she's accepting responsibility. She took the bait. What are you gonna do? Y'all in the fish? All the monsters are warm and a hug. She's taking accountability.

And that's what's most important here. I'm like, okay, Arbiter, of writing wrong over there. Where's Erica, the fucking judge in the middle of all of this? I think what annoys me about this situation, Erica, is that she is like very quick to be like, okay, you're off the hook. Like, I feel like she holds other people up to like much more critical analysis and push back and she challenges it whatever and like, but with her, oh, okay, perfect. You know, right? So that's what you need to say. Yes, Erica, she's taking ownership like the Bellagio will of Jennifer Lopez's house. To the princess. Meanwhile, Camille's inside, everyone's outside and no one's in with Camille.

She's like, come on, girls, this is about me being on the planet. Stop with the thing. Meanwhile, Camille's inside. Everyone's outside and no one's in with Camille. She's like, come on, girls. This is about me being on the planet. Stop with the fighting. It's like, shut up, Camille. Happy quack, Camille. Sit down. So Daryl Kyle Rinne-Teddy. Yeah, and by the way, I want to say just to piggyback on pretty

much what you said about Daryl saying, like, I want to mind everyone on the victim. She literally says, I didn't want to get into the heat said said she said but the idea that two people set out to hurt me hurts settle down okay you're the one who sent the dog to Shelley turn settle down they're all you had to do was follow the rules all you had to do so Rinne comes out she's like just come to see what's up not looking to see because there's blood in the water or anything like that you know hi hi how are you so Carol's like we're all in black and air cuz like yeah cuz it's a funeral it's a bat to be yeah so Teddy's

like no things up okay it's just that like I was admitting to Dereet the before I did totally shady things and Denise is like I got the fucking fighting out there I'll go. Why not? Yeah it's gonna be fun to get me horned up and then probably the fuck I run in the back way. If I listen to these girls fight will it make my husband's dick smaller probably not. I don't really care about their fight I just think it's fun to look at my husband's dick from over here and see how big it still is from far away. So then Vanderpump appears.

And now Vanderpump doesn't know that everybody that Kyle has totally gone to Teddy and told her that she knows about all of these text messages, right? So Vanderpump still thinks she has the upper hand as far as information goes. And she's going to be able to like, oh, by proving that she's got these texts, but these ladies are all working together. We're all talking. And they kind in my book, they they they do kind of have a logic on their side a little bit as much as it hates me to say it. Although I'm still on Lisa's side,

I still think they. Yeah, well, they've you fllate her argument because vandipub appears thinking she's about to win right so she's like ready and I just want to move on from this whole thing it's clear to me what you did I've seen the text is I've been to text is but you know what and Teddy's like oh what's clear exactly and she's said you were a kiddy bio mission and then it custom Vanderpump going oh I think she's in the wrong business she did she should have called her business mid miss avoidability that might go better oh yeah so Teddy's like I love when I love when Vanderpump like comes in with with her with her old lady

zingers. So like to me, her zingers like they are like I don't know. I was gonna they remind me of her pussy bows, you know, just this like this funny, dirty thing that just like omnipresent. I'm like, Band-a-Pum, we know you're better than this. Like, let's dish the pussy bows, let's dish the crappy zinger. So let's get back to the classic Band-a-Pum that we know and love. Yeah, well she thinks he is.

So Teddy goes at her. She's like, I was on the line with John Blizzard while you were on the other line with John Sussos, so I know. She was like, I was not was not involved and she's like Then how did you know detects to read to thy new and Vanderpump pauses because this is where they get her right right and she's like But of course I knew that you knew of course I knew that you knew Meanwhile, Lina they cut to Rina sitting there in the corner with a like a victorious straw in her mouth. She's like sitting there in the corner with a like a victorious straw in her mouth. She's like,

like slurping so hard. She's like, the happiest slurper in the world. She just has a big old smile on that straw. Yeah, she's loving it. So then we get the clip of Vanderprom saying, I had no idea that she knew, you know, which is how they're catching her in the slide. And Kyle's like, it's really clear to me what's going on. She wanted her to have that info.

And then, you know, she made sure that she got that info. And now here we are. Which, I mean, pretty much I think it's clear to everyone, right? So the way they think they're getting her is by saying, this whole, did you know or did you not know? Right, well, they're trying to bust this thing. Because Lisa was dumb instead of never talk to John Blizzard in my life.

Like Lisa, come on. Like that's not, you were not gonna win that argument. Like that's, I've seen him who said she's never talked to him. She says that she doesn't have his number and she doesn't sit there and talk with a 22 year old. Yeah, which, but so now they're trying to poke holes in that argument

because if they poke holes in that argument, it shows that she lied about one little thing, which means that her entire case is wrong. This regard that Teddy just lied about this entire fucking thing, right? And now it was just like, okay, now Teddy's telling the truth So Rinna is like, well you said that the Bahamas that there were no texts and she's how was I supposed to know this? No text. What is happening? You know, you see her trying to remember like how they're trying to piece all this together Right, so then Rinna gives us her argument, which is if Vanderpump knew that Teddy knew then why didn't she call to read or then why didn't she call Teddy and say keep your mouth shut

Did she do that? Nope? Well, who cares? It's not her to fucking job to do that. It's not everyone's job to protect you guys from the shitty stuff you do off camera Yeah, but I think that Rina I mean I don, I don't totally discount Rina's logic in that because Lisa is basically saying, Lisa's argument is, I don't want to bring this up, I've settled this with the read, I don't want this to become a thing. And then Lisa's saying, hey, Dari, you should get in front of this because now Teddy's gossiping about it. So the lot of what Rinne is basically saying is, if Vanderpump cared so much about this not

turning into a thing, why not just call up Teddy yourself and be like, listen, please don't gossip about this, I don't want this to be a thing. That's a Rinne of saying. And honestly, I think it's a fair point. Okay. So let's move on to the next one. So Teddy's like, well, I know you won't take ownership, but I did, and I've told the truth.

I've apologized, so if you can live with yourself doing something like that, then go for it. It's been working for you for a long time. And Vanderpromp's like, okay, fine with that. Okay, great. So we've squashed that. I will continue to manipulate all of you guys and let's celebrate Camille. Okay, so this is where these texts come in we get to see the round two of the text Yes, a Teddy who just seems to keep coming up with more and more as time goes on as she gets caught more and more shit

So she's like Lisa is full shit. I have texts proving that Ken was contacting John Blizzard discussing how it comes out to tennink how first of all you do not have any text between can and john blizzard john blizzard you have john blizzard saying it and of course he sang what they were talking about because he sang what they're talking about at work the work of course it's not like some big secret thing and is that it occurred to anyone that john blizzard may not be the most reliable source? His name is Blizzard, okay? And I don't believe that's his real last name. I don't believe any, I don't think it's even his real first name. I don't even know if he's even a real human being. I think he might just be like a toy, okay? Why don't know why everyone thinks that whatever John Blizzard says is totally true.

He's a gossipy employee who's gossiping with someone he does spin classes with. Okay. Well, I believe it. See, this is the thing, like, I believe that he's saying it's the thing is he's gossiping with Teddy about shit that's happening in the office. Nobody's telling him you have to tell all this stuff. But then here's what we get for the test. Hold on, hold on one second. It's not, for me, I guess, I should say, it's not about believability, but it's about a game of telephone, right? Like, he hears something one way, right?

And so then he relays it and it's over-texts. So then, like, there's already a certain amount of, like, filtering that happens to the text, you know, because certain, like, inflections and intentions or whatever are, like, stripped away. So, like, there's a little bit of a game of telephone and all these Accusations and all this anger is based off of one person say what one person said to someone else. You know, I'm saying it's just It's not not a good way to conduct an investigation. All right

So Teddy reads the text so she the text says this is from him It says he's just like before you tell Teddy and Kyle I'm just gonna try to control the situation because PK has been my best friend for 40 years so I'm like uh and then He says he's just figuring out the best way to do this because of like filming and relationships because obviously it's going to get out and

Then the text from Teddy says if PK was as bestie he would have told him dot dot dot So that's Teddy's first piece of evidence. Well, what I got from that is that they're saying, this is going to get out on camera. How are we going to protect our relationship with PK and to eat, right? Okay. So then Teddy says, a number two, after Colin, I leave Vanderpump dogs, I get this message from John Blizzard saying that he's with Lisa and Pandora discussing everything. And so and Pandora said, you were there.

What happened? Mummy. And that was like, of course, I can't even describe. Yes, but of course, that's what she highlights. Read the rest of that text chain because up top it says, Blizzard is saying, I'm getting so many mixed messages. I just hate this and I'm ready to go home. Ha ha.

I think he's not as mad as he could be. Just because Lisa kept being like she didn't want it to end up there. Blah blah blah. And when we went upstairs, we had a whole separate conversation and I don't know. Okay, so Lisa is saying stop making such a big deal out of this and stop being so angry. Doreet didn't know that it was going to end up at the shelter. So from this very text Teddy that you're showing his evidence, Lisa is saying Doreet didn't know that it was gonna end up at the shelter. So from this very text-tetti that you're showing his evidence, Lisa is saying Doreet didn't mean to do anything wrong. So what's your fucking argument? This is from your phone, these texts.

I honestly, when I was reading those text messages, I actually didn't even understand. I was like, this doesn't prove one thing to me either way. You have helped, I like your interpretation of them but when i was reading the momma's like what what i really think he's not as mad as he could be just because leesa kept being like she didn't want it to end up there so leesa is in these texts that you're not showing everybody you're showing us now because you're ask our cut

but if everybody had seen all these texts they they would have seen that Lisa is saying don't fucking write out the reach. She didn't do it on purpose. She's just a dope, which is what she's been telling us this whole time. So then Teddy's next text to him is, I'm tired after this morning, laugh emoji, monkey covering its eyes emoji. I don't mean come on. So then Teddy comes back to us and she goes, this proves that Lisa van der Pupp is lying about having zero relationship with John Blizzard

Idiot John Blizzard works for the place the dog They were talking about it at his place of employment. You have no proof that she did anything Yeah, I Did the one thing I will say is that I felt like anytime she said this 100% proves it approved nothing like her so flimsy Multiple times like there was the other thing we said before which I can't even remember now and she's like this proves it I was like this didn't prove anything to me It's that Lisa was saying Doreet didn't mean for the dog to end up in the shelter Which is what she said this whole fucking time Teddy

So Teddy's like, well, um, let's just coexist Lisa and founder prompts like I'm not into coexisting with you Teddy She's like, well, I know I can't change you so it is what it is and you know, Teddy's just a blitter and asshole and you know She won this one. I have to say she totally she totally got it Lisa was not thinks this you know Yeah, cuz Lisa then tries to change the subject right which is usually a sign of of you know like with that you lost right She's like so you don't feel any kind of guilt or remorse and he she's like I don't feel any kind of guilt with you. I feel guilty that I almost my husband come here in a tiny little ponytail But I have no guilt about you

I feel betrayed by you. And Vanderpump's like, well, I'd be betrayed by you. And she's like, oh, because I couldn't carry out your plan. Sorry. I'm Teddy. Still no proof that this was her plan. It's proof of you texting somebody who works there and heard what they were talking about.

And then Dorita's like, she's like, this is no longer about Lucy and Eli. This is about my friendship with Lisa Fandepump. I'm like, yeah, a friendship that you talked should about last season on camera. And then acted like you didn't say it. And then you tried to get in from that story by talking to Lisa in the park and be like,

I may have said some things, but I don't really think I said anything at all. So that's the thing. And then on top of that, Doriko's, she plotted against me behind my back to hurt me. And a friend doesn't do that to someone.'m like did you not see last season did you not see last season and Doriko's like here's the time the truth shall always set you free I'm like are you quote real original real original oh my god she's quoting quoting Jesus like the ultimate martyr.

And again, like, it's not like she's on death row, okay? Please just like, so then everyone gets back to partying and they bring out a cake for Camille. She's like, I'm so surprised she blew out any candles on it. And she gives like, Camille gives a speech about love and trust and reruns of the a Frazier and things like that and Kyle's like, I'm bombed! I'm like bombed! I'm like fucking bombed!

I'm bombed! It's like, please don't do this, oh, oh, she's doing the splits. And again, she looks like a midi, but Rinna's the one who made her do it. She's like, we need the splits. We need the splits. And then everyone, and then people are leaving the party. So there's like extended sequence of Camille. I'll be like, oh, bye, honey.

Bye, bye, honey. Bye, honey. Bye, honey. Button up. Bye, honey. Bye, honey. Bye, honey, bye. Bye, honey, bye. by honey. Bye honey. Bye honey. Bye honey. Bye honey. Bye honey. Bye. Honey. Bye honey. Bye honey. Bye.

Honey. Bye. She's like, Erica. Thank you. Erica. Thank you so much. For. Thank you, Erica. As she's doing those poor hands, she's doing prayer hand emoji in Erica. Yeah. Come here, please. She wants. she's doing prayer hand emoji in Eric. Yeah. Oh, come here, please. She walked up. I have to say, I don't agree with Erica this season, but I'm laughing my ass off with Erica this season,

which is a nice change, because usually she just gets on my fucking nerves. And this season, she's, I think, really, in a fun way. She's having, I think she and Rina are both, well, I think Rina's having more fun with it, but it's like, it's good to see Erica just, like, getting in the mix, you know Yeah, so Kyle and Vanderpumper in their car going home and Kyle's like, what do I have to be cute all the fucking time?

Yeah, and then to reach in her car with PK and she's like Well PK Teddy owned up to all her ugliness in the Texas. I was like, oh yeah, you're saying? Like, what's the whole thing? Yeah, they're all saying that. Oh my god, it's contagious. But when Kyle's like, why do I have to be cute? How the fucking time, Vanderpump, goes. But you weren't, Link, your vagina was on the floor.

And that's the side of Vanderpump really like. And actually, you know what I loved was then they started talking about Teddy and they said like, and how about Teddy, saying we should all agree to go exist. It's like, you should be so lucky, bitch. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I like when she deals with stuff like that instead of being like, oh my heart. Yeah, me too.

Me too. And then Carl's like, oh fuck my life, you know, as if Carl didn't think of this whole ball rolling. Right, and PK is just like, you know, it may be, maybe, Dari, maybe you should just, you know, she is grieving, so maybe you should just like chill out because she's our best friend, my best friend, and this is so stupid, and she's also like, I said grieving, so maybe you can stop doing that.

She's like, I mean, I understand that hurt people, hurt people, but how much do I have to take? I'm like, how have you been hurt? What has happened here? Like what, what, what got her? They, they was almost a scene where people talked about you. Yeah. I'm still not sure how that, how that hurt the read, but whatever. Oh my god. Well, that brings us to the end of another episode of Bivoli Heels. Everybody go get your goodbye coil! T-shirt. Um, and by take us for our shows coming out!

Okay, go get your tickets, watch a Craven's dot com! Also, this week's bonus episode was a shot by shot breakdown of the Real Housewives of Potomac trailer, which you can also find on our Patreon. And that's it for me, anything for you to end up with, Bane? Uh, no, I think there's no throw myself down on the floor and disintegrate. Yeah, right? Everybody with love, yes!

We'll talk soon. Love you! Bye! Hey, Prime Members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. yourself by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.