Watch What Crappens - RHOBH: Tokyo Hellooo!

Episode Date: January 10, 2018

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has a wasted Dorit ish. Rinna and Erika don't care, though, cuz they're momaging the brats in Tokyo. Enjoy! This week's bonus is a recap of Married to Medicine. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy and also our super premium sponsors. Our lucky little grand topper, Kelly Grant. And Lizzie Drucker, she's a fun mother of f***er. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on EO Browves.

I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rose Creek Spachler podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous talented broken fix then broken again Then possibly fixed again little bit been mandelker of the beside blog and the banta blinda hello bean Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi Hi, how are you Japan? Hi, Konichiwa. Hi Hi, hey Tokyo. I say yes to Tokyo. Okay, don't send out a tokyo. Whoa, whoa, baby. Whoa, Tokyo baby. Whoa

Welcome to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills day Watch what crap is on to where we're gonna be a different city every month So go get your tickets every day at watch what crap and calm Boston is up next Well, first I guess we're next to people just over just over a week away get your tickets over there watch what crap and calm uh Boston is up next uh well first I guess we're next to people just over just over a week away at space it's next Thursday scurry yeah better warm up for us Boston because we are pussies and we don't like super cold weather anymore I'm already a cold bitch Boston don't make it any worse. Yeah, so be so exciting. Yes.

Yeah, we're so excited to be there and meet you, Boston. A bunch of cities coming up. So just go to watch what crap and stuff. Come to check them out. And now here we are with the incomparable real asswives of Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. Let's go.

We should go on tour to Beverly Hills. We'll just take a 10 minute drive down that way, set up our mics and be like, well, he'll on tour. Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. We'll bring our own white flowers. Yeah. We should do, we should just get like one of our friends to drive us around and we'll

do a drive by tour of Beverly Hills and we'll narrate the Beverly Hills experience to our listeners. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just high on coffee already. Maybe we could just get one of those little golf carts and go up in downrode a drive and just do it, you know, over a megaphone. Yeah, I would love that.

Well, we just go to... Rock and burn! As we pass the Rolex store, whatever. We'll be like the Le Bovecher car,, except instead of like like shouting out like Hebrew words of wisdom, we'll just be saying, Broken bed, devilian is broken bed. Like is that a Bernie Sanders protest? No, it's just saying broken bed.

And if we need to get anybody out of our way, we'll go, I like Doree talking to her baby. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so we opened this week's episode with a song that goes, I went from Rack to Riches. A Rack to Riches. Back to Riches. And then it just comes to Lisa Rina on a plane So this is what life is like for me just flying solo to Tokyo

Because the girls are flying on a different flight But this is what life is like taking different flights to get to the same place baby There's so much to worry about baby like how do you work a satellite on a plane? How is there a satellite on a plane? How come I watch friends right now? How is this happening? Life is amazing baby. Is there a rat on this plane also? They follow everywhere. I've just been telling that rat you have your chance to just stop eating so much cheese. So Erica is bringing her her glam squad to Tokyo of course and She's like, little on basically a teenage model, Wrangler and Maggie's like, yeah, it's bad. You're wrangling them. I'm wrangling you

Who's wrangling me? I don't know. Oh my god Wranglers jeans. You'd wrangler. Gee Wranglers. Oh my god Wrangler bitch wrangler wrangler So often cute, but I'm going to hang on. There's a so effing give batch. It's a super super super cat. It's a baseball outfit with flowers stitched on the boobs. Like, I mean, unless your boobs are going to be completely centered with those flowers, it seems like a bad idea. Who's wriggling me, bitch? Yes, next level wriggling batch.

We cut back to Lisa on the plane and she's like, I'm holding up for dear life, baby. Well, I'm glad you're over dramatic about your own imminent death. Like you are about him, Richards. She's like, I'm a smith you're way from death, baby. She's yelling at herself at the next carny Wilson party. And meanwhile, that song is still playing through all of this.

I want to brag. To rich eyes. I want to brag. To rich eyes. And. To rich eyes. And Vanderpump is at home. And she's telling Rosio. She's like, hello, Rosio. I've taken you out of the crate for the first time

in the entire month. Have we learned not to steal my hair, Bose, Rosio? She's like, never again, ma'am. All right, cook. Cook for my friends. Yeah, Rosio has new eye glasses, which is fun. And then, the song changes. It's like, I went from rags to glasses, the rags to glasses.

I bought Rosya reading glasses, she'll never try to run again. Meanwhile, her big dog with a ponytail on top of its head, that big fluffy dog is just standing by the door. The scene ends with the dog looking at the camera going. Ha ha ha. It's like, let me out of here. The police. So then, so Rinna meets her daughters

at the airport in Tokyo. And I guess they're big in Japan, because there's all sorts of paparazzi and people there to see Delilah and West Delilah sisters name again, the other one, Delilah Bell and Amelia. And so basically- Yeah, finger just closing that window, yeah, sorry, yeah, the other one. Yeah, so they're like, they're like, you know, they're posing.

They're basically on their own invisible red carpet in the airport. They're just posing and greeting people and everything. And Rina is just like, I often say, I want to what Chris Jenner would do in a situation like this. And I was like, oh, that was perfect. That's like some perfect Rina shade right there because you went right to Chris Jenner and not Yolanda. I know Chris Jenner would probably tell her to send some flowers to Yolanda to say thank you for the idea Yeah, Christiana would just send her a gift certificate to Adrian Malibus ex-husband Paul Noceeves. Yeah, she'd be like hey This came in the mail for you from Chris Jenner. It's a screener of

Chloe's exercise show Enjoy Wait a minute baby She didn't even send a screener up the quality shows. I mean it's quality Kardashian shows. Yeah it's like the low rent ones. Revenge body or something like that. I don't know. I don't I really am actually so I'm not dialed into the Kardashian universe at all. The only reason why I know about the revenge body thing is I think I just was flipping by it and I was like oh that guy I've seen him at the gym, something like that, you know,

the reason I know about it is because I was making the, Hey, watch this show on this night on our Facebook today. And they're playing that show on Bravo on Saturday morning. This, oh, well, I'm going to pretend like they don't show it on Bravo. So that way I can still just hide every time someone posted out the Kardashians and like hide hide hide hide revenge body What an awkward time to get pregnant right before season two of revenge body come on Chloe Well, maybe she means it more literally like I am growing a little body inside me in revenge Yes, she's gonna have the revenge girl come out of her She's gonna be like I'm just pretending yeah

She's like I'm just pretending to be Chloe's baby I'm really here for revenge on Madeline Stowe Madeline so it just goes up to Chloe Kardashian slap on the face Charlotte. Why did she call me Charlotte? So Rina does walk through the Tokyo airport just as Rne would except this time she's moving all the kids luggage It's like piles and piles of luggage and she's like hi. Hi. Hello Hello Tokyo. Hello Up luggage lady to smooth the luggage, okay Feel like why is that porter have such a pointy hair?

So have such a pointy hair. Um, so then actually, Lisa Minna's haircut is very anime, I think. I think she probably do very well in Japan. As you know, it's got the points and sort of like the feathered, feathered points and layers, it's very, very anime. Yes. And later in the episode, she's like, Arigato, baby, yeah. So then we go back to

Beverly Hills where Teddy, what's Teddy's last name? Melon camp? How's the girl or Vander camp? Because of three. I'm getting all the free Vander camp from Death's Housewives. Oh my God, I love her. I believe Emily Van Camp, free Vander camp, and now Teddy

Melon camp. And Teresa from camps. Camps. There you go. Anyway, so Teddy has been summoned to Vinaroa and so she's walking on the bridge to the entryway and she's sort of having a moment with Hanky sort of sizing her up, deciding whether he's gonna like Teddy or Tom at her ankles. He's starting to decide if she has cancels big enough to jump at. And this is when we got to meet a new member of the Bander Pump. I'm having so much hard, such a hard time with these names. Bander Pump, Van Cam, Van Cam.

Van Cam, Van Cam, Van Cam, Van Cam, Van Cam, Van Cam. The Vandal Bumps, the Vandal Bumps, the New Sick Man. The Vandal Bumps, Van Cam, Van Cam, Van Cam. Come here on the show, please. Darling. You've broken up with the vendor months So sorry But we meet a new member of the minasri a tattoo darling. We have a tattoo Yes, Teddy is so funny. She's like high little swans. What are you looking at wow? There's swans. Oh my god Is that a bird look? It's a turtle. There's dogs

swans. Oh my god is that a bird? Look it's a turtle. There's dogs. Even Hank and Banker are like oh this bitch let's just go to the other part of the river. Yeah she's she's so boring they don't even want to eat her cancels. No I'm out of here. Do you know I know what the turtle is dead? Hank he's like going out. I'm traitors in this okay I'm pratter than this and Vanderbilt she's like oh my god there's animals everywhere and Vanderbilt because more animals arriving soon but you'd like it to kind Teddy's like I like that joke. It's funny for a second I thought you're talking about horses because I grew up riding horses. Hey any horses have I written them?

Guys, I grew up in a man I grew up in mansions and we had a big football field and that was my favorite part because you play games. I pretend to be a horse, which is fine because I grew up riding horses. Hey, what's around the corner? Unicorns? It's like you enjoy your one season, okay? Yeah, yeah, enjoy it. Take whatever free shit you're offered this season because you ain't coming back again. Yeah, you're being welcomed into Lisa. You're being recruited by Lisa Vanderpump right now. Stop with the attitude and get on board. Diamonds and Roseme!

My tiny little horses. She's like, oh my god. I have tiny horse envy right now. She's like, oh you could move in here, but you'd have to sleep with Ken. He'd love it. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa So she's like, would you like to see my closet darling? I'd love to see you get even more jealous diamonds and rosé going to your own home, shall you? So she's like, whoa in my house like my husband has a bigger closet because like I don't really care about it like who are the Jones is? I don't know. They live next door to me. Are they rich? I don't care because I don't care about money Can I borrow one of your horses? At least I've entered pump when she says in my house my husband has a larger closet. At least the fan of pump just goes no

Just been destroyed like that would be grounds for divorce in this family darling No, don't see such things in my closet. I'm growing weaker Weak it's almost as if I have become the broken And I write this down in my minute folder. That's her cryptonite just an empty closet. She's like no My closet is shrinking So let's see Kyle arrives and she's like hi guys to swans, and Hanky immediately starts stopping her cancels with the hilarious, but she goes, you guys, ah! She runs the hell over the bridge.

Yeah, even the turtles trying to snap, but the turtles, like, I'm not even a snapping turtle, but I'm going to try my damnest. And then Teresa comes in and she to read comes in She's like She does I wrote that down I wrote down Lee hyphen saw Guys I'm here. Goys. Oh, for me! Oh, for me! Oh, for me! Oh, for me!

Oh, for me! Oh, for me! I was so pleased to be like, listen, I've swept up enough shit in the house and let have lunch outside, because you animals decide to have an accident. Do you get it? You're the animals. Wah! Do you need an napkin?

I believe a bird'sad in your hair. Oh Lisa, that's so kind of you. It's actually a jewel I put on there and put in there on purpose. Oh. I'm sorry. So this is down to have lunch and Duret takes the chair facing the canyon and she's like, I always choose this seat, I'm so selfish. I want the view

Yeah, Teddy's like I'm bitch with a view. Yeah, I don't care about views like to me like look It's a hill like great. Guess what else guess what else would be just as great like an alley. What do I care? I'm not rich. I mean, I am but I don't care about it. I'm normal. I mean, I grew up watching the view So like I don't need to see watching the view I Still remember when Rosie was onnell came on to replace somebody. Like that was like awkward. Yeah, I remember Debbie Mattinopolis. So Kyle's like, here's my big update. I went to Croatia.

It was amazing. And my floors still aren't done. And my pool is still shaped like a smile. It's not there. Kyle, really think they can do the whole floors of a house in one week, don't ask? Lisa, Lisa, they're going to be crispy rice with spicy tuna on top. I just have to have it. I have to.

I've been telling PK that we're having some crispy tuna on soft rice. Oh no, crispy rice with soft tuna on top. It's just too good Can you have what we had in an anniversary party Lisa? Tuna tartar and oh Baby And Vanderfum's like you're so supportive Everything I do relate to Rit's support set,

whether it's being her best friend, whether it's my new jewelry line, or just the tuna tartar on Chef Piny Crispy Rice. So, okay, I was like, you have a lash on your cheek, and then Rit's like, coil, which side? It's on the left side,

actually on the right side. I think it's on both cheeks. it actually is on the right side. I think it's on both cheese. Coil, that's positively crazy. How can I have a lash on both cheeks at once? Coil, your vision's insane. God, you're trying to mess with me, Kyle. It's like just clean your fucking face, to read my god. How hard is this? Just fucking wipe it off. You have a mirror in front of you. Take a napkin and just wipe your cheeks And Dorek goes go

You've vision it's insane. I can't even see it like You're an idiot and go because okay fine next time I'll leave it. She goes you came back mean cow From Croatia I'm not sure. In fact, from Croatia, this is a mean coil. Because coil? Coil? Because that's not mean. If a coil wants to be mean, she'll be mean. And Kyle goes, yeah, like Vanderpump,

but she's on the table now, said it being sneaky about it. I'm like, how dare you, darling. Meanwhile, Teddy is just sitting there, taking it all in like, what the hell. She's basically Catherine Haunt, part two, right? Like, when she stares there and is like, what is happening with these ladies? And Teddy's whole thing is that she knows is that Doreet is always talking shit about Rina.

And basically, I think this is where we see some sort of montage of Doreet talking shit about Rina over the season so far, which has actually been a lot, considering there's only been about three episodes. I saw her beaver! Pretty little pus. So then Teddy's like, you know what, there's like two sides of Jereet, like a fun girl that you can have fun with

and a trash talker. I'm like, isn't that the same? Yeah, why can't you be friends with both of those people? It sounds like the perfect friend to me. Yeah, I have like, isn't that the same? Yeah, why can't you be friends with both of those people? It sounds like the perfect friend to me. Yeah, I like to read sounds great. You've actually made to read sound more fun than she's ever sounded before, so thanks Teddy. She's a lot more fun than you are, Teddy. And Vanderpromps like, well, if you want to join this group, you need to be educated.

Teddy's like, well, you all seem nice and to read goes give us Tom honey And then to read goes one of you will turn on me and me any minute and they're like So you guys want to know what Teddy does at her house. Oh my God. Yes, please So exciting you guys. Oh my god. Send down lotion on our kids. Whoa She's like all I can do is a mom is trying to have fun with my kids here put some Suntown lotion on so I choose to do sports because like I'm not getting fat again And if they have a tablet on the trip it's like getting them off a crack So I'm like, you know what? This is actual crack if you you have crack, you won't eat. And you also have more energy to go hiking.

All in a mom's day. Yeah, down time's the time to live. Accountability, Accountability Coach. Okay, so we're gonna go hiking. Yeah, it's fun. And so then we see Edwin is like pushing this stroller up something that's like running Canyon and Teddy is running ahead.

She's like, I'm beating you. I'm like, bitch, he is pushing up two kids in a stroller and you're just running with a dog on a leash and only half the time. Sounds like me, that's my kind of race. I'm like, here, here's a pile of bricks to push up the hill. Look, I'm winning.

Yeah. I've also concluded that Teddy's body language, I don't know why she developed this, but when she talks, she talks a lot with her hands, but her hands move into this, like, herky, jerky, movement, like, she's a muppet. You know, like, she has, like, little poles that are attached underneath that are guiding her hands. Like, her hands, like, her arms don't seem to really bend. They just are, like, still, and they just are, like, on poles. That's my observation. Once you see it, you'll never be able to unsee it.

Um, she goes. Good job. I'm up at hands. She goes, one time. Slake got mad because she saw me kissing my husband. And she's like, you're supposed to only kiss me. And that's what I want. I want them to have a joking banter about their parents' love. Like, who are you? Why are you?

I need you on my TV. Why? What are you doing here? Give me your hands. I'll turn. Please. This woman, she is really too self-satisfied with her boring stories. Like, they do not translate. Okay. Now, I get it. I've told many boring

stories about the sort of coffee I'm drinking on any given day. I get it. But like, you're on TV. I'm on a podcast. Yeah. TV is higher. Higher stakes. Yeah. you get paid more, okay, lady. I just want Joe Kink Panther about their parents love. Like she's getting, yeah, Slates like the next, Jay Leno, oh my god. Do you love when I make dating jokes like that? So I'm like, well, the next Johnny Carson, huh? Hey, who are you, Jeff Park, get it guys? I just, I immediately find stories that begin with

my kid was laughing when I did this That's they're just immediately just dull and boring They're just Born out of a place of this was funny to me and therefore it should be funny to all of you And it's just a dozen translate. I'm sorry. I feel like the casting people on this show need to be more like windshield on a Like BMW like the second it starts raining just turn on those fucking wipers and clear her. Yeah, I'm very confused how Teddy Malon can bond up in this mix. I mean, I'm optimistic.

They're showing signs of that she's getting really annoyed at the read. So I'm hoping this is going to lead to some explosive thing where suddenly we'll be like, oh, now I see why she's on the show. But for right now, I for right now I'm trying I'm trying I don't know I don't know what's going on here but I mean they they juxtapose this with Vanderpump chasing hanky out of the house she's chasing him in she's hanky in in hanky you're not

a boy you're not a bird that's broken. You're a bird that's live vital. The animals that fill a roast I listen to me, unlike my friends. Bwaaaaaaah! I gotta hold bunch more animal jokes coming day away about my friends. Now please, before you leave, fill out a comment card. Tell me, did you like the jokes about my friends being too legged animals more than the jokes

about me not fucking Canon, Lassys' birthday, AB or C, both almost as fast as Kyle. She's slow. That's why you got your anger. Oh my god, so the real housewives of Beverly Hills version of Truman Capote comes in with some other chick And they work for Beverly Hills magazine and he's like hey girl like hero reminds me of the little guy from Will and Grace Leslie yeah Leslie Jordan Not just let's Jordan although I think this is not Beverly Hills magazine

I think it's Beverly Hills lifestyle magazine. Oh Don't get them confused when you're ordering off the back of one of those magazine thingies I know this because I saw the the the story of this magazine portrayed by Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks in the lifestyle The lifestyle The devil wears lifestyle David Hasselhoff wants us to shut down production because he wrote something critical About a meeting a burger of a bathroom floor. What do we do Ken? I? Say we're for John like the journal that we are we are no longer a small magazine we are a magazine

Beverly Hills. I want this to be deeper than ever now that I'm the editor in chief. Our first article should be about Jew. Well, get it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So he's like, oh my god girl, you look amazing. You are so gorgeous. Without tell you, you should talk to your editor and chief Leslie. Glamourous and gorgeous jewelry is absolutely essential in Beverly Hills. To be without it would be a cardinal sin. And the word cardinal is a double word. The word play on broken bird. It's a broken cardinal. Oh, she's pouring tea and she says, is that 2k for you Leslie and he's like now game of girl

I love the gay humor What does anyone think about to read being a hand model? I think it be spectacular She's got those silly little hands and she's a dumb person and I think it'll just be hilarious when she shows up Things she's shooting a sports illustrated swimsuit issue Did you hear me say cardinal sin? Someone remind Teddy that I said that so she'll know that I support the church as well As well as baseball teams She goes to read as a hand model or should we just get someone in who just does hand jobs?

That's you, this is the reason, Tick. Double-handed Leslie. He's like, he's like, yeah, that's my favorite kind. Ha, ha, ha. Then this lady who's with them is like, well, I think to read is it composes everything that we want. She's a working mom, she's beautiful, she's fabulous, and the gay guys are like, but does she model?

I'm like, does she work? Where does working mom think I'm from? I'm X-ring, begin as Lisa. Ah. Guys, I made beans the other day, and I would love for you to have some. I'm a working mom who cooks beans. They're Moroccan style.

I call them I Moroccan beans. Beans, beans, the magical fruit. the more you eat, the more you're toot, the more you're toot, the better you fear, the beans for every meal, Lisa. So stupid. So the girl is like, yeah, she's perfect. And her social media is a pack of all Is that a reference to a broken bird trying to pack out her social media? Please tell me there's not a broken bird trying to flatten her decolatoge She has lovely hands and perfect decolatoge and then they just show like a montage close-up of Dorit's boobs So what is this show? Quick, there's a broken cardinous stuck up between her boobs. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Cardinal decalitage. Hahaha. I'm giving this magazine direction. Cardinal direction. See what I did there? Hahaha. Cardinal.

It will work in so many levels. Hahaha. I will ask her if she wants to do it. So then in Tokyo, they're staying in the Shangri-La hotel, which I feel like that's so stereotypical. Like, of course, you're staying at the Shangri-La. It's like, hey, what hotels are in Tokyo? The Shangri-La baby! Did you hear that in the song?

Okay. So Erica's with her glam squad and picking out clothes and she's like, look, all right, there's a reason why I have to bring all these clothes around because I got to look good. I'm like raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take

on parenting hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less

alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. We've been down this path. We don't have to explain anymore, Erica. We get it. We've seen your glam squad in like 10 different countries at this point.

You don't have to keep apologizing for it. We accept it. Yeah, we have already envisioned you choking on an old man's gigantic nut sack hundreds of times. Like, you don't have to keep bringing it up, okay? You earned it. As far as I'm concerned, you earned it, bitch.

Yeah. So Mikey's like, op-sh-s-s-machine-o-ma-queen first after one way back. Like, he's so excited all the time. And she's like, easy, easy, man, Mikey. Make it easy, too. You know what? You know what? You know what?

I'm gonna happen here. Tokyo. You got to have level. So it's got to be level back in. Where are Erica's friends? We've been asking this since her first season. Where are her friends? Sure.

There's got to be more than Mikey. No, I don't think so. I think that's it. So okay with that. No, I mean, it's cool. It's cool that she gets to bring her friends on this trip, but I feel like she's got to have friends outside of these four people. It's the only reason I have friends that I don't pay for is because I'm poor. I'd be done with all of y'all if I had enough money to pay for real friends who are always nice. Just said things like, yes, back to working at work does old maybe joking pants. Yeah, that's a guy Either way either way we then go to a store in Japan In Japan, but call her and she's like, where are you? It's a madhouse. It's crazy. Well, whoa, whoa. Hi Hi Tokyo. Hi

She makes you low California roll oh She just adds out everything it doesn't make any sense So yeah, she's in the store and she's like these kids careers have gone to zero to 60 baby But I was first started I was told by an agent to get back on the bus and come back to Oregon. I came from nothing. You know, I actually really found, but I like about Lisa Rina. I do feel that she is, I feel like she is upfront and honest about all situations because she's basically like, listen, we're at this period of time now where millennials, millennial children of famous people are getting modeling gigs.

And I don't know how long this window is gonna stay open, but it's open for now. And I thought that was refreshing because she basically saying, yeah, I'm famous, I'm on TV, so these kids were able to get in the door. As opposed to Yolanda, who would be like, well, my loves, my Gigi, my Bella, you know, they naturally just, you know, became famous over and out, you know, like she would say, I just feel like, I don't know why I'm going on a anti-Yalanda ranch, it's not even on the show anymore, but I just feel like Yalanda would never say

my kids became models because, you know, she has famous parents, so the next famous, right. It's not to take away from them being models, but they totally got those opportunities because of their parents. Girl, not those opportunities because Tommy Hilfinger is just exhausted, okay? He's tired. He's worked a lot.

At this point, he just goes to a dinner party and he's like, who has skinny children that they want to loan me for a week, you know? Well, I don't want to have another casting. But GG's first gig was for Marciano Billboard. Marciano is part of this whole mix. He's not on these shows, but the Marciano family that owns guests. Their kids went to school with all these kids. I mean, it's all it's all mixed up. It's all family friendship. So they all got their it's it they all they all got. They had family connections.

You know, Muhammad is super wealthy. David super famous. He'll on does on TV and I like that Lisa Rennet is just up front like yeah, we're famous. So we were able to Give them its opportunity. I just like that. I like it. Sue me baby. I own it. Okay. You're about my liking of it. She's like the Kardashians open this window and someone looked in with a webcam and cop Kim giving a blowjob Which thankfully led to them getting famous So we could be famous so to the blowjob heard around the world. Thank you Kim Kardashian, baby Look at all that that built off a fucking blowjob off the internet

I mean look at his sprung up you guys don't say that nothing can spring up from a little blowjob Okay, a lot can be born from a blowjob Yeah, exactly and I think I think some credit has to be given to Paris, Dylan, because if it weren't for Paris, becoming famous, can Kardashian wouldn't have had the same same bug and instinct, I think. Yeah, the same. So look, Paris is really the godmother of all this. And of course, Paris is Paris. She has the the itch from her great from her grandmother who

board knows and don't even try to try to trace that it. Yeah. Oh, I'm saying is it's full circle. Full fit all comes back and come back right back around. You know, it was back to Al Gore. Everybody thank Al Gore for inventing the internet. Yes. Look at all you've given the Rinas. Yes. So me while back in Beverly Hills, Dorit has shown up to be a hand

model for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine. And she is just bitching. She is being so high maintenance, which I love. I think the reason why this was kept in there is because the producers are like, okay, we've created a monster with this woman. So we're going to show a little bit America, a little bit of what it's like to deal with her behind the scenes. Yeah so of course what's important creating Frankenstein if you're not gonna scare the shit out of everybody while they watch and walk around the forest kidnapin little girls. Yeah so so Dorita is all like I'm terribly sorry but you know it was a minute booking, and I just simply didn't have any time. And then Pan-Dora had to call me and say, can you come in today?

And I thought it would be my hand, and that's my hand makeup. And I can't get my glam squad. You know, you know, fantastic sams is an open every single day. And now here I am, and it's difficult. And now I don't look good, and I don't like being unprepared. I haven't had time to see my beans. Guys, this is not fair. Just settle down. I love that during your monologue, I can hear

you like emphasizing on the desk. Like I could see your physicality while you were doing it. Well, I started to go into a Marvel Josephs and I was like, oh, oh, Ben, together, Ben, you're doing your cross pollinating your accents. Yeah, it's so good. She's like, I thought they were doing You're doing a cross-pollinating your accents here. It was so good. She's like, I thought they were doing my hands and then I've got her daughter, Panty Oracle, in asking for $9.99 a month for so unlimited streaming.

One thing I can't stand is to be unprepared. Why wouldn't you tell me it was gonna be my face? I would have opened a can of beans and cooked it! I just love to keep myself a facial with bean steam. That's my favorite way to treat myself. I never look younger than when I put my face of a Moroccan beans while they're stewing away. Just keep a smile. I'd never be there without my bean steam and my glam squad! P.K. P.K. Can you get me some beans? I need to make a beansteam for my face. A beansteam facial. P-K? And Banderpump's like, why aren't you ready darling? Erika Jane would have been ready in five minutes. We're going home then!

Oh darling, we'll just fix it in Photoshop. Oh that's the shop that I've actually purchased with photos. So, let me see here. She's like, darling, all we want is a few pictures of your hands, and then you'll be a dress model for Pandora's Line. Then we want to do drinking this sangria over here for the sangria line. Then we wanted you for this placemat line over here. She's getting the free work that she can get. There's a live build up there that Rosio can't get an account of a there to go. Could you just climb up there and fix that?

Thank you. We've put the tiny horse house on Craigslist. Would you walk over there and pose next to it? Darling. Do you mind feeding Carla that her daughter? She's still snapping on account of you actually. And Pandora is the assistant and she's like, hmm, shall I put some more makeup on your hands? It's like, okay, thanks for showing up Pandora. I didn't even see Pandora there. That's so strange.

Yeah, she didn't say anything. Maybe she was hidden beneath her bangs. Poor Pandys, she always hangs her hair right over her cheeks. You know, she's trying to like, she's trying to like, you know, you know, sometimes women will like, have like bangs to hide forehead and stuff. So she's just sort like, she's trying to like, you know, you know, sometimes women will like have like bangs to hide forehead and stuff,

so she's just sort of does that a lot. Like happy. Show us, take, show us your beautiful face. Don't hide behind those bangs. Lift, wash off that face, wash off your, oh wait, lift up your face, wash off your mascara. You take my Kleenex,

what that whole see-away in my right-wing? It's stand by diamonds and Rosie Suddenly Pandey standing beside me Make up She's holding sangry Suddenly pandey Here to provide me Sweet photo assistance

Pandies my daughter So to Vandor Vandor Vankas, don't worry about your face darling. I'll fix it and photoshoot out She's like how do you fix me whole face? Don't worry about your face darling, I'll fix it and photoshoot. She's like, how do you fix me all this? Oh my god. It's like nobody knows better than you, okay? People have been posting pictures of you and junior high. I don't even know who you are anymore, ma'am. It takes a lot of recovery time to fix your face like that. So Dary doesn't like any of the photos. No, I'm terribly sorry. I don't like this photo, these.

No, no. I guess I'm just a bit of a perfectionist. You know, this is like serving Moroccan beans with black-eyed peas. It's just not the same leaves. It's just not the same, guys. No one wants to eat beans that are out of a bow, Vanderpump. So she's Vanderpump's like, have you Vanderpump's like, have you moaned? She's like, have you moaned before darling?

And there it's like, yes, I have, of course I have, I have swimwear. And so she's sitting on the stool with her legs wide open and she's like bending down on one knee. Like, what are you modeling for? And when they show her all the pictures, it's literally to turn her private dancer to us. Yeah. When they show the picture, it's literally the Turner private dancer pose. Yeah.

When they show the picture, she's hiding behind her hands. She doesn't want to be recognized. It is hilarious. It was, yeah, definitely need some Nigel Barker to assist with this situation. To be fair, I actually kind of felt, I didn't think the pictures were very good

and I kind of felt bad for Doreet. I think she was like, what, Rinky Dink thing is happening, Leslie Jordan is taking photos of me with like an Advantage camera. This is not good. Yes. And Vandercamp's like, I don't know why she's so scared of the local fatugs or the local makeup people. I mean, this magazine has photographed Kristen Chenowith and... Kate Blanchett, the wolf. Not the real Kate Blanchett, Kate Blanchett, the wolf.

She's very popular in Beverly Hills. Veronica Marsbars. Mmm. Ha ha ha ha. We have photographs suddenly Susan. The drag queen works under Barnies. She used to be a surfer Bones Green Grass to that closed! You know that Greek sandwich commercial on buses that was photographed here?

Are you familiar with Veronica's insurance but we photograph Veronica's self? So she's like, both v the pump, I look sweaty! And she's sweat going for sweaty darling. Sweaty is very in the Beverly Hills. Very 2018. Tell PK, he's finally in fashion darling. So Erica. Erica and Rina, Erica's so impressed.

She's like, Oh yeah, there's a making impressed. She's like, oh yeah, it is. Making it and it's the okay. Rina's like, we love it here, don't we, Ericka? Hi, hi, Tokyo, hi. So cute, we love it. I loved it, they're killing it. But I'm sad that they're growing up, baby.

And then there's a clip of her backstage. Like, do you want a chip? Do you need some water? Do you want some milk? Hey, how about a boule pasta? need a hug for mommy like oh mom shut up this is their kids being assholes ignoring her backstage oh my goodness so they're like walking around a little park carrying parasols and and Erica's like oh look at that lotus look about three hey look up turtle turtles big turtle episode by the way on Beverly Hills

Look it's Carl How the turtle I bet Josie that shows sensey, and I think that's what this turtles in right now She wins he goes look at those buildings, and now she goes look at those Lotuses and theni goes look how it juxtaposes with the buildings. Like thank you I couldn't come up with that when building's building

scattered right that down. So Rina is saying how she just sort of like done with all the retroma. She just wants to move forward in America's like wow. I'm really impressed. It must be because her daughter's like well enough and the wreath is making me think about being matured to read this is wonderful parasol

love us love us okay working on a new ballet how about this one I'm gonna throw a party. And so she's she's the hired poor Glenn. This guy gets dragged out every season on like the hottest day of the year. You know, he's not easy to do. I'm not gonna throw a party. I'm not gonna throw a party. I'm not gonna throw a party. I'm not gonna throw a party.

I'm not gonna throw a party. I'm not gonna throw a party. I'm not gonna throw a party. I'm not gonna throw a party. and so she's, she's hired poor Glenn. This guy gets dragged out every season on like the hottest day of the year, you know, he's not, he's not a spilt guy and he's just like sweating and exasperated. And he's like, oh, another damn party at Colorado Church House. He's like, I brought the fat burger truck. It's already parked outside. What more do you want from me, woman She's like she's like Glenn there's a toilet in the bathroom. I think I think that's where it's

supposed to be. I mean I know it's supposed to be hooked up and stuff but at least they got the room right. It's my relationship corner and then she's running around the house trying to pick up last minute and she's like oh my god my mom's ashes are down there are you kidding me? running around the house trying to pick up last minute. And she's like, oh my God, my mom's ashes are down there. Are you kidding me? Who says I can't even move the ashes? She goes, sorry, mom. Sorry, mom.

Their mom's like, no, I actually wanted to be there. I transferred myself there. I do not want to be displayed here. I just want to be in a place that Kim could steal me and get me the hell out of this noisy ass renovation zone. I'm trying to be dead here, okay? It's too loud. God, it's supposed to be called eternal rest. You've got about the pee part about RIP. So back in Tokyo, Tokyo Erica's Mama Hilton bitching from beyond the ground. Yeah about the construction

So back into yeah, Erica's like look I'm a pink hand Shannables And it's like wow Wow, she's just like touching every part of her, like a sex doll, you know. Erica's like in a pink wig, in a kimono-esque top and big, I guess, McQueen boots or something. Erica goes through the whole list of what designs. I love it. There's McQueen with a vintage versopsy,

with a vintage versopsy McQueen. That's a lot. There's a cut-trone special here. It's different from the Rachel Zoke collection from 2016. That's a lot. Yeah, it's like, here is the original Zodiac collection from 2016 look a lot. Yeah, it's like very much for the tour through the Smith-Honey and Erica. This is Grand World's Christmas Gondon and then we'll turn the Gondon and there's something else from McQueen. Might here take it over. So they go to like a T-house or a Gaysha house or whatever and the very first thing you have to do.

Hi, hi, hi, hi, teahouse, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, I'm gonna write a memoir about this. So they're like, oh please take off shoots. And so Erica's like, why are they making me take off my boots right now? I'm like, what are the odds that you have to take off your shoes in Japan? boots right now. I'm like, what are the odds that you have to take off your shoes in Japan? You're lucky they didn't make you put tiny ones on to bind those feet and keep them tiny girl. Was that Japan? Was that China? Oh shit, I don't know. Sorry everybody. Racist. Racist. Tokyo. So she's like, I love guys. It's like no, it's Keisha's. Oh, damn it. I love guys. It's like no, it's K-Shas. Oh, dammit.

And I was like, hi, is this an napkin? Oh, good, high napkin. Hi. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Thought it was going to be a place map. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, could you imagine if I used this as a place map? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's crazy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. And there's like a little fish that looks like it was just frozen. Like it was mid- that looks like it was just frozen. Like, it was mid-jump and it was curling in the air and someone was like, oh, zap, froze that fish. Now it's a statue. Wanna eat it?

Jack, this freaks me out. Oh, I don't know if I need temper and emo. Yeah, respectfully. Well. So then it's like the wacky rich ignorant people eating eating real sushi. It's like don't. Pretty much. It's a little slatter.

Yeah, it was a lot of it was a lot of sushi in LA. It looks pretty and tastes good, baby. But sushi in Japan I don't know don't try to hustle the hustler sushi hustlers and then Erica's like she doesn't know what to say and the waitress just drops a plate finally she's like yes leave thank you so very very much so then a lovely older lady comes in and starts playing a traditional

Japanese instrument and because I'm ignorant I don't actually know what it's called but it was like what you would like has has that sound of like you know what you hear when you go to see your you know, so she's playing and she's singing. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, plong. America's like, this is my battle. Found the battle, but it was really cool. It was really cool thing because there was like a Gaysha dancer that came out and danced the cool cultural experience. Yeah, it would be funny.

America's like, America's totally appropriate. Eric is so appropriate And we're in this like this is so Tokyo baby That elderly woman coming up doing whatever that was well mind blowing earth shattering Experience enhancing how do you got all thy master? Did you just say are you got to five master? I got a thymasterありがとうございました!お前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちのお前たちの Pick which one is really Erica? You know what I'm seeing something across the street and I was gonna share with the audience. I don't think I'm going to I don't think I'm going to I'm just gonna I'm just gonna say

Way of trying to get back in the recap just I like that though. I don't give a fuck. Where am I not the recap before? Where will we before? Ben. I don't give a fuck. I though. I am caffeinated and I don't know what I'm saying. I'm speaking on half Japanese half a gajin and I'm just happy to be living life in Tokyo. Let's go back to that crazy intersection. Wow. That's beautiful. We just walked together. Crosswalk, where the crowd's at. I think I'm a fuck. Ooh.

It's like the people who made this crosswalk said, I think I'm a fuck. We'll cross small angles. I think I'm a fuck. It's so erica, James. Yeah, maybe I'll cross, maybe I'll walk, maybe I'll sit down. I don't give a fuck. I don't know what I'm saying.

I'm sorry listeners. I'm like, I'm not seeing straight. So back in Beverly Hills, oh my god, Kyle Richards lost power. She's literally stealing storylines from real house as a New Zealand now. Glenn! Or Glenn. Glenn's just like, look, my plan was to control all of this from this spot in the foyer. Okay. Please stop asking me to run upstairs and then downstairs and then like, move your dead mother. Like, just please just let me stand here and get some AC, okay?

So PK and Doreet show up and because it's such a warm night and Doreet is like, it's beyond tropical warm. PK, she goes, it's beyond tropical warm. And he's like babe, it's a renovation babe. In solidarity with her cast members who are in Japan, to reach sort of wear a black sushi bandana on her head. Karla's like, I said casual, hello, I'm wearing cut-out shoulders with really long sleeves. Could you please make an effort? And she's like, PK goes, she doesn't do casual.

Like, okay, PK. She's like sorry. There's no power It's like we've been taken to the colonies if you know what I'm saying in jar Is that no no? So, no. Is that, no, no. So then Camille shows up with her friend, Kimber. Ma, you remember, Kimber. What? Ma.

What? So Camille is like in the backyard by the Smileyface pool. And she's like, so many memories back here. So many memories. So many memories. Are there So many memories. So many memories. Are there going to be no flashbacks? Yeah, we're going to have a flashback. When we eat dinner. Okay, memories.

And you don't want to show me dancing by the pool again at the white party? No. And Teddy comes with her husband and kind of like, oh, that stormed the dog and then Storm is like trying to get pancakes off the table and Dorit's like, storm spit on the pancakes Hey, you don't have any fans do you bitch fans work on electricity too came to eat like I don't expect a lot of you Dreats, but you're really even disappointing me with this just shut up. Oh, I'm afraid I cut out the pancake because of dogs alive on it. But would you like me to go home and get me some quick cooking beans the Moroccan they

taste quite as good as a pancake. Would you like that? She's made every complaint possible. I'm like, can we stop like right a horse? What is wrong with this woman? It's like this woman only knows what it's like to be a Jones who are the Joneses? I don't even know Hey, anybody know the Joneses like thanks for piping up Teddy, okay? So so can comes in with Vanderfell and he's like moves in the heart Heart with a hot hot hot with a with a hot dog It's very dark in here? It's dark.

This is odd. Ah. Well, it seems like there's going to be a say-on. It's almost as if Kyle's electrical system is a broken bed. Kyle's like, oh my god, before you bitch at me, I have no power, okay? Just, oh, I thought maybe it was a surprise birthday for me Since it is almost my birthday and I haven't heard of you doing anything for it yet

Just in case you were thinking of a surprise. Oh, here's a candle for your birthday, which I remembered I Think least Savannah bump has never been more excited than when Kyle Richards admitted that she has no power Finally my plan has worked You have realized that you have no power There go on Kyle go off to Croatia again. So meanwhile, Marisa, you give Kyle the grace, the serenity, to accept that he's broken if she can't be fixed. Okay, thank you.

The shortest AA meeting ever. So Marisa means Teddy for the first time and you can tell he's a realtor because he just passed forwards to all the small talk. He goes, hi Teddy, how are you? Very nice to meet you. How's everything? Just go through all of them.

Hi, how are you? What is great? Lovely. It's everything? Just go through all of them. How are you? What is great? Lovely. It's good to see you. Yes, I know. Crazy about those mats, huh? Anyway, yes. This is a turtle out front.

Yeah, I know how great. Nice to meet you. Yes, how are you? Meanwhile, Kyle's like starting newspaper on fire and bowls or something. I don't know what she's doing. It's like Kyle thinks she's like a pioneer town now. And more like, oh, hello, Kyle.

Look, Kyle, Jennifer has lied to Cross the street. Did you call the DUP or the DWP? It's like, yes, hello Kyle. Look Kyle. Jennifer has lights across the street. Did you call the DUP or the DWP? It's like, yes, yes, husband. That's such a husband thing. Did you call Morgow down the street? How ovens work? Did you flip on the lights? Did you try to flip them off and then back on again?

Yeah, thanks. Thanks husband. So meanwhile in Japan, Rinna is at dinner with the girls in Erica. And the girls are talking about how much they love this one girl one What's her name again on the YouTube? That doesn't matter but she's this girl on YouTube. Just like to eat and I like Erica's like I don't understand What this generation finds interesting about watching people eat obsessively. I'm like you realize what we're doing right now

We're watching you eat a restaurant And this is actually like your third meal. We've watched this episode. And there was an entire sequence last year where we watched you eat a chocolate cake. Okay, so. Look, I'm from the generation where if you want to be on the YouTube,

you rub your badge and make a song about it, right? I don't get what all this eating is. Are you do you mean to say that I could have been super famous about just eating some pizza on YouTube instead of having years. Are you do you mean to say that I could have been super famous if I'd just eaten some pizza on YouTube instead of having to hire a Mikey and a bunch of guys to transport me around the world knowing the abs. Is that what you're saying? I've checked that. She better not have the name to call herself a singer. That is a performer if I've ever seen one. So Tokyo they're having dinner with the kids and Rind is like, hi, whispering

angel. Do you have that? Where did that come from whispering angel? Is that a bit sesh thing that they made themish? Yeah, well, I mean, it's a good rosé anyway, but I think if I know, if I've heard it correctly, Kase Wilson, Danielle Schneider are like obsessed with whispering angel to rosé, because of course, it's very good.

And so they got into it and then it became like the ongoing joke on their podcast, sort of like Rum Chata for us. And so then, like the classic version of Rum Chata. No offense from Chata. We're like Capri Sons. Capri Sons. So yeah, Whisper and Angel became a thing and then Kyle Richards sent them some Whisper

and Angel and it just, it just became a thing. And obviously the group, the the the the bitch sesh group is called whispering they call themselves the whispering isleens which is a whispering angels meet Kyle by I lean to which is very funny so that's sort of whispering angels sort of has gotten some notoriety from that but I think it's also just become more famous I personally if I'm gonna do a fancy rosé I'm actually a fan of Miraville which my friends Neilik got me into. And that's actually Brad and Angelina's rosé, but it's really good. So it's like good, but you know, it's not going to last. Yeah, because I drink it too fast. So I would like to say if we're going to have a rosé for washer crappens, I

would like to propose that Miraville, BR ros Rose, it's more expensive. I think it costs like $20 or $30, which is, so I'm not saying it's an everyday Rose, but when you really want to celebrate, let's let's pass that the Miraville guys, they're not even a sponsor, okay? I'm just I'm just in the spirit of Angelina Jolie right now. And Neil and Nate. I have a very important question for you. Yeah. Habit Vogue feel. You sound like Pat. Habit Vogue feel. Did that feel good? Hey, nothing tastes as good as Vogue feels right now. And one of the kids is like, um, like, when I like Southern

Monitor, I was like, that is not me. Well, have them change the channel from three's company. Okay, probably place their 24 hours a day. Yeah. Um, so yeah, they were, they were having their Vogue Taiwan. They had been shooting for Vogue Taiwan. And so they were sort of surprised. Well, I ain't out of my comfort zone today. I had a Harry Crab. And I wasn't even on YouTube. I'm used to his bad hairy crab. His name is Tom. Get it on me here, I'll be gone. I like, well.

It was also funny regarding that YouTube video and everything. Rinnis are talking about how people have accused her of having an eating disorder for years and years and years, and she has grown up trying not to say that we're diet in front of her daughters and trying to not make eating something that's weird and pitch her being like that YouTube video is weird. I don't want you to feel weird about food baby but God that girl eating food is so weird isn't she girls? Hey look I don't want you to have an eating disorder. I want you to work in a toast place and see what serving toast does to the people You're serving get to they're hideous and weird right girls, but I said that without really saying it

And then the kids and enemy and Delilah's like by the way, I learned how to give blowjob thanks to your book mom Yeah, cuz what didn't oh cuz Erica said what you watch is the internet? Why wouldn't you watch Poland instead of eating and It's like I don't want to know about that okay I'm the mom if they're watching porn And the kids like by the way I know about you watching porn and I'm not gonna lie Your book is the thing that taught me how to give a blowjob I mean it's said in almost every American family. Yes, no kidding mom

You're junior league jelly recipe book with the book that taught me how to give blowtops me how to give blowtops. Your book on proper posture really taught me how to give some good kind of lingus. Yeah, I've written this like I've never thought in a million years, baby, that I would have children that read. And er, Erica's like, whoa, I haven't read a blowjob book, but it's not the stone age, you know, suck it, fuck it, do whatever you can. Get that bank account full, girls! Can I put my shoes on yet? No! Hahaha! Over at Kyle's candle party, everyone's sitting down, everyone is drinking, and to read is definitely drinking.

She's like, Marisio, how do you say Marisio? Because I have a friend who just said, Marisio, and I was like, no,, how do you say Mauricio? Because I have a friend who just said Mauricio, and I was like, no, it's pronounced Mauricio. I'm like, Dorene is such a twit, he goes, hey, I just met Teddy at her husband, and she goes, did you meet them in Spanish? Or in English?

And he's like, uh, English, you fuck idiot. I'm off white. Dorene, of all people, you should not be complaining about the way someone pronounced or something. Okay. Guys. Merissio. Merissio.

Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio.

Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Merissio. Yeah, had you say Lisa? Had you say Jennifer? Had you say Tom? Had you say Michael? How do you say Beansteam?

Kengels, Lisa goes, the Ken says Lisa until he pulls down his tracer, then it's darling. Get it? Get it. Is the three-legged animal? If you know what I'm saying try part darling so cam camille's boyfriend comes over and Vanderbump David and Vanderbump's like so handsome would you like tea bags sir I would be inappropriate with your new man, but I won't

Would you like a seat shall I lay on the ground or the table? Wow David you've met you have quite a lovely woman in Camille you just better Hope she doesn't run off with a tennis instructor call back to season one I'm so glad you made it to dinner. We've decided to serve tall salad and scrambled eggs, darling. I'll say it again. Now comes it down. We got to reach drunk and you'll be second appropriate things very shortly. Saddam hot David.

Yes, the time hot and chaos like there are two to reads the dumb one and the drunk dumb one Pretty much so yeah to read is drunk as she's saying things like My best friend coil is forgotten about me something like that and then it's like Lisa van I'm like best friend. What is this best friend business? Because she's instantly jealous that to read in Kyle overbecoming friends. Kyle has no recipes for crispy rice squares and I'll heat you in a tartar on top. Oh, did she steal it? And then they start, they're starting to talk about who's afraid of who.

Like, are you afraid of Kyle? Are you afraid of Lisa? Something like that. And I don't remember what they were saying. All I know is that the camera cuts a Camille and she just randomly goes, I like that. Because Carl's like, um, Vanderpub's jealous of me and to read. And to read because I'm the one person in this world who isn't afraid of Lisa Vanderpub. And she's like, who's afraid of me darling. I mean besides Max Pandora Kenjo Penny Entire cast of Antipop rules your land that palm tree The midget donkey I had put to sleep the first come pick up. We went to in Ohio

Camille's just trying to tag along The and girls like everybody I have a higher hair. The... And Carl's like, everybody. Everybody Carl's saying it. And Carl's setting. Ken tells Kyle, we'll see to a freight of you, Harvich,

at least as a freight of you, Carl. So why don't you put that in your pipe and smoke it? Yeah. Fairly dirty, went to town riding on a boating. I wouldn't think of that. And at least it's terrifying of you. And Cam's like, well, we've to town riding on a boaty. Uh, when I think of that, Lisa's terrified of you. And cam's like,

Oh, we've seen each other, and I'm, uh, I've seen each other, and I'm, uh, mmm-ma. Well, you know, uh, we, I think we've all seen each other, and I'm, uh, at our worst.

And then, Doreet's like, guys, I haven't seen Kyle at her worst, and I've never, ever seen Lisa Vanderpump at her worst, except that when she tried to style me the other day guys guys guys there wasn't a time So Teddy's like I'm scared. Is this how rich people act because I wouldn't know And Doreet's like I've been talking about babies Camille you've been talking about babies and Camille's like well, I don't have a uterus so I'm out

Camille's like, well, I don't have a uterus so I'm out. Camille! She goes, yeah, Doreko's, Camille, I have a question, Camille and Lisa Van Opomp just turns. She's just like, Lisa is just like crack up, she's like, wait, can you just try to think before you ask whatever you're about to ask? I'm looking after your best interests. Just think about what you're about to say one second. You stupid idiot Will you be your godfather Can me I was like well, I don't have a jick or boss. I think that'll be very difficult Well, then I'll get you a dick and two circles in I'm gonna come out with a scrap online called And the dead is like oh god from she's drunk. I'm just like I'm out of here, okay?

Like sometimes she's a show pony and that's like the only horse I don't like like he respects the show pony No one, okay? Even if you can borrow that fucker for free Especially not me because I grew up riding horses, so That's not fun for free. Especially not me, because I grew up riding horses. So, do you get the feeling at this point of the evening that it would have been kind of hilarious if Carlton had been there too?

Carlton just would hate to read, and it would be amazing. I think every episode would be kind of amazing if Carlton was there. I think Carlton got the shaft. She should have been able to stay longer. I mean, she's been through a lot of crap off the air that would have been really fun to watch. Yeah, I think it's time to resurrect Carlton

and I think let's like elevate it to some friend of status. Yeah, right? Yeah, we're either way, either way, the party's going on and then Doreegers goes, come here, you're a stupid cut fitness. Everyone's like, whoa. Even Doreeg's like, whoa babe.

Whoa, whoa babe. Yeah, yeah, buh buh buh. Yeah, they all right. Even Dread's like whoa babe. Whoa, whoa babe. Yeah, yeah, bubble bubble. Bubble. Yeah. All right. Yeah, calm down now babe. All right. I say, so Dread. Oh, what if Dread's PK is just been a figment of Dread's imagination this whole time? He's like Dread's

babe. Spade and camp like spare. We go again, the C word. Camille is like, I don't like her now Antire I take it back backwards See this to read everyone is a laddak stupid once in a while, but you abuse the privilege

I'm like I love that Camille memorized a line off a snarky calendar to come back on the show. She's like, I'm going to say something bitchy. Watch out. It's been years. Yeah, I'm happy. I like when when Mill gets bitchy. Get the chance read will be fun. I want some season one Camille, not some season two onward. Okay. I don't want to talk about her, but I do care with David things because if I say she had with a drunken crazy person, it makes me look bad. Yeah, Mike, you have 40 million dollars, okay? You look fine. You look fine doing anything you want from now on, darling. Yeah, it's pretty true. And

that's pretty much where it ended with the recombinal to see word Yeah, pretty much And that brings us to the end of the episode so goodbye you cut fitness is Yeah, goodbye go to watchocrapants.com to buy tickets to our shows and our merchandise Boston we're seeing you in about a week so get to it and we'll be back tomorrow to talk about the season finale of real house as a new Jersey Everybody back tomorrow to talk about the season finale of Real House, as a New Jersey. Mwah. Mwah. Bye, everybody. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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