Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Back At Square Uno

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

The Real Housewives of Orange County is back, and for the first time since the Bush era, there's no sign of Vicki or Tamra. Weird. What we do have are a bunch of bunk beds, new boyfriends, and a new cast member who lives up to all our drama club dreams. So far so good? We're still nervous about this season is going to play out...Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who happens Who happens Who happens Watch what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who wants you what crap Who wants you what crap Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just

love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Game Brain Podcast, which is a podcast for fellow game nerds like me. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious and lovely Ronnie Carrom. Hey Ronnie, what's going on? Well, hi. Oh my God, you look just fabulous. Um, well, thank you. So do you.

We're in our little polo shirts because we just spoke to Miss Kim D of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yeah, we had to put on our fancies polos. I made sure to make my hair look as Jersey as she is possible by having to go back James Leonard style. And here we are. So that interview with Kim D will be out on Friday.

And it's gonna be a crap, it's on demand. And guess what, this episode is a crap and it's on demand. And guess what? This episode is a crap and it's on demand episode. I forgot to hit record on the video, so it's not crap and it's on demand. Back to the show. Go to patreon.com slash watch for crap and that way you can watch us. You don't have to just listen to us. And also if you sign up crap crap, it's on demand.

You also get access to our Discord community and our bonus episodes. So it's so much. So much. So much. And speaking of so much, it's the season premiere of Real Housewives of Orange County. Yeah.

Welcome back to the Real Housewives of Orange County. Everybody who's still here. Now, this is tricky because there's like boycotts going on already of Real Housewives of Orange County. People are not watching or saying they're not gonna watch it. People are not wanting us to recap it. There's like a whole thing going on. Well, listen, okay, our controversy is not about us.

We are watching these shows. They are Bravo shows. Now, sometimes, our controversy is not about us. We are watching these shows, they are Bravo shows. Now sometimes we draw a line of the sand. I mean, Kim Zolciac, no ma'am. Yeah, we don't have to do that, because we never really have covered that show. And we've always had that line in the sand, okay. It's just, it's called a taste level.

A level of taste. A level of taste. And I think like Kimzel's Yak with her family just spreading the Kinzel's Yak pandemic across America. We're literally children all over the country. We just don't need it. We don't need it. We're drawing a line there.

But yeah, I mean, I was like, oh God, it's real houses around county. Kelly's been so awful with her like, her pandemic denying essentially, and her hating masks, and then there's all this stuff coming out of all these stories that are coming out of Orange County and feels like all the time, like, oh god, how do we even watch this show? I was like, this show is gonna be, this is gonna be a perfectly fine hour of TV actually.

It was fine. You know, I have to say, after everything we've heard about it, you're right. I mean, there's been so many stories Kelly has just Kelly's whole new chapter is just you know She's dating a Fox News guy now and then so she's going Totally Fox Newsy with all the things she's saying like she's going on her Instagram I'm gonna be like math you want a mask go wear a mask and then she puts on a mask is a joke And then they're like well, why are you wearing it your hypocrite check because we don't wear them That's you want to wear a mask be a sheep then she puts on a mask as a joke. And then they're like, well, why are you wearing it? You're a hypocrite, Chuck, because we don't wear them. That's, you wanna wear a mask?

Be a sheep then, sheep. Ba-ha-ha-ha. Ba-ha. And she's just horrible. And, you know, in today's volatile life that we're all living, we're all still stuck inside with COVID, well, most of us are. And we're stuck inside with COVID,

and it's terrible. We're with it.. The election's coming up, that's terrible. I mean, you can't have one goddamn conversation that everybody is screaming. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. And, you know, we don't want to do that. We don't, you guys probably can guess how we feel and we will sometimes, you know, make a line in this sand about it, but I don't wanna sit here and talk about that shit. I have to talk about it when I talk to my parents and when I talk to my grandmother and when I talk to anybody else about it, I don't wanna spend this time doing that.

So how are we gonna recap this? If you've got Fox News, Fox News mini over there, you know, making an ass out of yourself, well here's what we do, we yell about it and we scream about it and we make fun of it and then we laugh about it, okay? So that's what we do. We yell about it and we scream about it and we make fun of it and then we laugh about it. Okay. Exactly. That is exactly right. Thank you, Ronnie. You said that very, very, very well. There's no reason to add onto it. So let's just dive into this crazy episode. The post-Tamera era, post-Vicky era, the post-TV

era. We don't even have eras anymore. It's just post-era. Just post-era. We're not even counting things in eras anymore. So, um, uh, so the show opens up and it's like, it's like, they love doing this. The beginning of every season, they keep on trying to make it seem like big little lies and it never works where they're like, ooh, there's ocean and beaches, but it's quiet and spooky. And, uh, we hear this voice that I couldn't place it. I'm assuming it's the new woman. It sounded like, no, it's Gina. That was Gina Kio.

It has to be Gina Kio. I was thinking that I thought at one point it was Gina Kio because I was like, it sort of sounds like a young Angela Landsbury, which is not necessarily what Gina sounds like, but it's what that sounded like. And then I started to like sense some like weird like lids in some of the words I thought is that Gina Kio giving some like some weird like out of body narration?

Oh yeah it has to be Gina Kio that's who I thought I just assumed it was her but I agree that she is like the Angela Lambsbury version of her she reminded me of the movie Titanic where it's like the old lady telling the story. So old Kate Winslet, she's like, oh, it's been 84 years. That is the opening of the Seasna Real Housewives of Orange County. Gina Kios is sitting there. Oh, it's been 84 years. And the season finale, Gina Kios get a climb up onto like a railing and drop a McKenzie child's plate into the ocean. And Slate is going to have to go in after it. End up dead on an iceberg or what.

So this show, yeah, Gina Kio, in my mind. It's old lady Gina Kio saying, remember why you love the real housewives of one's candy. It's really least of an apopt now. I want to change it. But it's a whole segment of, do you remember why you used to love this show? And she says they say the seasons don't change around here, but that's not quite true. And then we just get clips of all these old housewives ghosts.

I know, we see Lori Wearing and Gretchen and Vicki and Heather and Alexis. And I think I saw Tammy Nika Bacher in there. Did I maybe see Quinn? I don't remember. But we see the Vicki. Vicki, since when do you bring up family, then the pick up the Steve Hock? There's the winter of friendships past. And we're seeing all sorts of stuff I actually didn't I couldn't even write them all down because it was just like all this stuff It's how I did okay, so I'll go through it real fast. It's very important to history guys, okay?

So there's the winter for friendships past Shannon. I had these bracelets made It's the three of me guys, but Trace and me guys woohoo And there's a spring of new beginnings and it's from the season Kelly going, we're all living in the same neighborhood now! And then everybody with their new boyfriends, Gina's getting kissed on the cheek by...

The blistering summer of romance is a blaze. Yes. You know, Gina's just doubling down on being poor by just going with another poor person Which is balsy on this show. I have to say that's really choice. It really is and then and the autumn harvest of reaping What we've sewn and they just see Shannon saying don't Don't you dare don't you dare accuse me of something that I did don't you dare accuse me of that Which is the best the best line ever

Which is the best the best line ever Dr. Derek used me a something I Don't I don't it don't it. She's me have it and Brahman says you you said it. She's I did not I did not I did not I did not I'm Flapping I'm flapping hand flapping windshield wipe her hands. Oh I feel so good and Tamara you fucking liar! And then Alexa going, what's going on right now? Vicki's saying, uh, she's lyreface. That's what's going on, she's lyreface.

And then everybody accusing each other of lying over the years. And then wine being thrown a genus face by Tamara versus this season of Bronwyn getting wine in her face, which is not cool to do to an alcoholic, because you can really trigger their, it's like slipping, you know, it's like, whoops, slip some alcohol into your punch. Sorry. You can't just throw out. It's like throwing to cigarette at me. You don't do that. Yeah, exactly. Take it from me. Each season of Orange County is unlike the last. Well, I can't take it from you, because I don't know who's speaking right now. I think it's Gina. I can sort of sense that she like, I got the feeling like whoever was talking right now was just yelled at by her adult son, but I couldn't confirm that.

So I thought it was Gina. I'm saying Gina. I'm going to. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, 500 dollars on it. Okay. All right. And then I like, I then then and then the narrator goes, and the seasons don't just turn. And then you just see Kelly with a giant, a giant jenka thing. Oh, the jenka falls over. I was like, Oh, seasons don't just turn. Jenka towers fall over too. Wow. This is, this is scary. It's a jenka falling over. And then it cuts to Bronwyn's face who's all bandaged up from a face from a face lift or something like I'll drug that of her mind you know and wearing a shirt that says I'm in no shape which

probably has something on the bottom but I want that shirt. I just wanted to say I'm in no shape. Yeah and then the narrative goes they change us forever as in the seasons change them forever I'm like damn that was a really intense Jenga game. Oh, I was like, we had a Jenga game and it hasn't been the same ever since. Yeah, apparently Kelly has discovered old games. Yeah, she's discovered the game aisle at Target because we got an you know card set today and we see you're playing Jenga. Is life far behind guys? Well, you know what the next fight she gets into. She's just gonna look up. Sorry.

I'm sorry. Just holding it up. I'm sorry. Do not it up. I'm sorry. Do not pass gold, do not collect every dollar. You don't have a monopoly on me. You don't have a monopoly on me. Sorry, I got into trouble. What are you coming over here like a little dog?

A little bit of a dog? Shut up, Thimble. So yeah, I know we see Gina say, I promise this will kill you. I don't I don't know. I'm losing a charm of cracking So then quiet And then we hear like some weird new I guess our new music this year is like trying to be hip and urban and it's hilarious because it's Orange County, but they're trying with that music and then just to get that it's a new season of energy, we see like a 45 year old man on roller skates doing jump in twirl. Yeah, and then we're at Shannon's new house and there's like a whole bunch of giant dogs

chasing after balls. And then this is my favorite thing, Shannon convincing us that she is just having the time of her life. She's just cooking. She's like, oh, I think that chicken looks done. Oh my god. Oh, the chicken's done. I'm so happy.

I'll tell you who's not done. This one. I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done being happy. I'm not happy. Oh, new done being happy. I'm happy. Oh, new boyfriend, John. Look, it's my new boyfriend. His name is John. He looks a little bit like Al Gore, but not quite.

He looks a lot like Al Gore. He looks like Al Gore with a cold, like just squeezing, like kind of squeezed his nose. Al Gore Outdoor meets Nathan Philly in. Um, I wouldn't give him Nathan Philly in. I'm not sure how I feel about him yet. Nathan Philly in pretty fucking fine. So I'm going to stick with the tension. That's not a gore. Okay. Alright.

And Shannon is like, oh, the chicken's ready. It's in the fridge. I called the, I called the oven! The word freaks you! Ha ha ha ha! The chicken's ready! I mean, I'm at the stove top. Does it look like chicken?

It's not chicken! It's in! It's in the oven! It's in the oven! Oh God! We have so many high drinks when he thinks the... The bad is the chicken! Oh God!

Now he's opening up the oven! How he just got burned by the heat! He didn't realize it was hot. How? I haven't stopped laughing. And do you know she's just wanting to scream that she... I mean look, you finally get a double oven. Who doesn't love a double oven? You know, I didn't even understand the plight of a double oven until this show because member Wyn Brianna wanted one. And I was like, who needs a double oven? You don't need a double oven, that's ridiculous. And now of course, I'm like, double oven, so I want one. Yeah, double oven, double oven would be great.

Yeah. And you, so she has a double oven, but it's like stuck in this hallway because the design of this house, I'm sorry, but this is some design fail in this house. Actually, the whole house, okay, didn't like it. The, there's a double oven and like a weird tight hallway. You have to walk into a separate oven

I mean a separate hallway to get the stuff out of the oven Ridiculous terrible design. Haven't you heard of the triangle of utility in the kitchen? You have to have a sink and it goes the other triangle point is the Refrigerator and the other triangle point is the oven and the stove Well, maybe you are not aware that there is a new season in Orange County. And in Orange County, we do not have a triangle of utility. We have now invented walk-in ovens. And they work like walk-in fridrators, except you die if you walk in them.

Ha! Oh God! But there's a useful... One of the ovens is named Hansel and the other is named... Ho-ho-ho! The best part is knowing that this exact same scene would have played out if it had been David and not John. This entire scene could have played out exactly the same except it would have been like, well the chicken's ready. This isn't the chicken.

Oh I'm sorry dear, let me go to the chicken and he opens up the oven and a burst of hot air. Oh well, you just let the air out of the oven, and now the chicken's probably ruined, but that's fine. It's fine. Three to forty negative thoughts, David just ruined the chicken for the four times. They just burnt his face on the chicken! Wow, David, wow!

David never used to look at the chicken before. I wonder what's changed. So about eight months ago, I was out with one of my friends and she introduced me to John and he came up to me And he said I am into you And then we sent karaoke and we shut the place down We've been together every day since but we are not living together because in their new testimonials You know it's the time of COVID, so everybody has to do this, I guess, in their oven closet.

Is where she's doing this? I don't know where she's doing it, but it's a very tight space. And I think she's using a fish angle lens. Yeah, when she came in, it was weird. It felt like very, it felt like when the guy came out of the painting and Ghostbusters, too. Yes, it's like a 3D iMacs, but it's just Shannon's hands. You're like, why did I pay $35 to see this?

Her hands like come all the way up to the camera when you're fake. God, I need to get my nails done. Those are pathetic. You two look at a long one. Look at that. Oh, and you have a little poop thing in your face. Yeah, a piece of dirt. Disgusting. Yeah.

Alright, we're gonna finish this recap now. Good to wear nails. I wish. I meant to do my nails this morning, but I forgot. Oh god, I put crumbs in a water top. Because I was gathering all the crumbs on my desk. I ate crackers today. And then I put them in like just a little water top and I started playing with it for fun because I was worried about my nails and now I've got crumbles on the floor.

I can't stop laughing. I wish there's so much joy in the household now. So he walked up to me and he says, only you can stop far as far as I said, well, you're not. You're pretty smokein' yourself. And I realized I was looking at a, I don't know how to add. And it wasn't, it wasn't a human.

But then I turned around and I met John. It was great. It's so funny watching these straight relationships this year, but I mean, we're used to, it's not like something new that we'll look, we're watching a straight relationship, but, you know, Shanna's got a bunch of new kids because her, her new guy has three kids too, and then Gina's new guy has three kids too, and it's, they're all having to blend all these new kids. And like in the gay world, you start dating someone and you just have to start blending all the people that you've both fucked on Grindr.

Yeah. It's like you have to introduce everybody to party and it's like that. Yeah. Exactly. Except with kids. Grocer. But not, yeah, yeah, exactly.

So we see Shannon's new home. So she had to buy a home because her old home that she was renting sold. So we get like a little swoop little swoop and we see her exercise room and it's basically like an elliptical machine. And I think like a treadmill and then like a giant painting of Shannon. And I was like, it's like, I don't know if I want to look at a giant oil painting of my face. What a work. It's not funny.

It's very bad middle-air in beaches. You know how she has big paintings of herself everywhere. Yeah. So yeah, more like my room. Look right behind me. It's a painting of Shannon with a bowl on her head. You see? There it is.

So we have a wacky kids blending family scene coming up. So Sophie's like, mom mom we need to talk I did a thing today and it's like what do you mean you did a thing today please don't tell me you married Jesus again I'm not paying for another wedding to Jesus why are you Stella? why are you laughing? what is it? I want to know John oh my god our blended family is such a success. Oh god, oh, I'm so happy.

So Sophie has gotten an earring and Shannon's like, are you kidding me, it's not even the right place. Because it's like up on the middle of her ear. And she's like, please say it was a reputable place. And it turns out that one of the new bad kids in the blended family got her to do it. She recommended the place. Yeah, and you know chance like

She's doing that thing where she's like oh But you know later tonight. Well, I always knew that Juliet was a bad influence and I should never flat so fee be around her They went to a multi piercing becoda, you know what I clear This is this won't stand this she's starting Baylor and people are gonna think she's a slut with her unorthodox piercing I will not stand for them. I will not stand for it at all! Well, John, you pain your daughter. After the girl who convinced Romeo to kill himself, and you wonder why she's slipping off to the ear piercing Bucoda to ruin my child's life!

As far as I'm concerned, the name Juliet only reminds me of the most useless kind of balconies a house could have Who wants a Julia? Hate those balconies, especially indoor Juliet balcony Oh, yeah, yeah, we saw that you're awake. Glad you could tell everyone in the living room that you just woke up and your Stupid terrible newvo Reese balcony. I know. Oh, we should mention, we forgot to mention the top of the show that on Monday, we are launching Duel Hello. And that's gonna be on Citroen premium goes to premium.com to sign up. And that's it. That's it.

Too late, man. You missed it. It's over now. Well, you mentioned indoor, you mentioned it indoor, Juliet, and that that that triggered me enough. She'll, she'll to get out of it. So then they have this kind of goofy son too, John. Now these kids are older. They're like 25, whatever. I don't know, 20 is their their 20s.

And John, Joe, the son is like, yeah, we're going to do the tattoo shop next week. And he's got big old braces, and I just don't trust him. Not because of his braces. That sentence just happened to put those things together. I don't trust him and he has braces. That has nothing to do with his braces.

It's not a cause of all that. I don't really trust him. Yeah. Well, they're all our jays. I don't know if you noticed it. John is the dad, Joe is the son, Jessica and Juliet. It's a themed family. It's like, it's like, it's basically like getting

like an outdoor set from Wayfair, right? All the J is all lined up. Yeah, I don't think anybody really needs to do. I don't think that's enough of a theme to keep a family together, just using the same first letter. You know. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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So um, let's see. So Shannon tells us she's so happy. Um, and every day she's laughing and laughing and, you know, Bart is me wonders though even though I'm so happy. Part of me is left wondering, why is my kitchen sink faucet so darn big? Am I watching baby horses in here? I'm thinking what is that thing? But also, what is the floor can drop in this house?

It's pretty cheaply made or this relationship. And I have been falling off my diet a little bit, so I am very concerned about the stability of the floor these days, because let's face it, I haven't been using that exercise room for any of my kids. I'm so happy and sad at the same time. I would not. First of all, Shannon looks great. I don't think she's gained any weight. No, I don't, I'm just joking, that you probably think of.

Just in case, just in case, as I sit here, I have to look at myself today, pointing with my chin. But I don't think she's lost weight, but speaking, or gained weight, but speaking of, I could not have my own picture in my workout room either Because it's just like my big face just like eat it Ronnie eat it. What are you even doing here? This would be my face looking at me from the wall while I'm on a treadmill That's my picture like what are you even doing here right now? I think I'd want a picture of Bethany just looking at me and just

Passing judgment and angry like what are you doing? Bethany huh you think you and just passing judgment and angry. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing now? Bethany, huh? You think he got fixed yourself? Yes. Now that you would work out to that. You can run, but you can't hide. Just keep running.

Yeah. So we also get, when Shannon says she's worried that the floor is gonna fall out from below this, whether she's gonna drop or whatever, we then get a flashback of Shannon and David's greatest hits of awkwardness culminating with her cooking something. Like, well, I've made some keyed lot and he just takes that big ol' tortilla chip. He's like, oh my god, the eating aggression from David.

Just in 2013, Fikki going, are you happy together and Shannon, who just looked like such an asshole back then? Didn't she? It's like she's in her straw hat that kind of matches the texture for straw dress. She always wears a little odd straw hat. It comes out once a season. Yes, like Maris miles his wife. That's who she always reminded me of back in those days. I don't think we have ever saw her, but she was like the embodiment of Maris. And then David eating your chip in 2013.

And then at the steak restaurant, I feel some tension. We're Shannon was so mad that they brought her to a steak restaurant on her birthday while she was on a diet. And then, yeah, the chip. Oh, those were great. Those were great.

It's really beautiful work. Yeah, yeah. So in case you weren't convinced that this is one big happy family. Guess what? Silly string. No! Oh my god.

Silly string at the house for no reason. Oh my god, I just got my hair done today. Ah! Ah, we're such a happy family. Oh! Oh. Yeah, I hope everything's okay over there. I don't trust a family with Silly string on camera.

No, I just don't. Naturally. No. So then we get a shot of the outside of her house and okay, I'm done with farm house style. I'm done with it. I'm officially done with it. I have, I live in it and I'm officially done with it, okay? I like farm house style style.

I'm still okay with it. I have not been overexposed. I like it. So, I think it's just because I see it every day. I come home and I'm like, oh, there it is. Some sip laugh. I'm going to put a picture. Why have you guys chose a sip laugh? That ship laugh. I'm gonna put a picture. I'm gonna put a ship laugh.

I'm working on great. I'm gonna put a painting of a farmhouse in my gym. Just run to that. Yeah. It's a farmhouse, not a farmhouse. We, uh, I just feel like your house looks like a long-drawn silvers, basically. So then we go to, yeah, then we see Kelly's big stupid,

gold mustard, jeep thing. Yeah, it's the Mercedes, whatever. And we then hear, yeah, isn't that a wagon? Yeah, I think it is. And then we hear Rick. So Kelly's walking along with Rick and, um, why am I biking on her name, Julie? And we just hear Rick, his debut on Orange County going, let's go have some fun at the fun drum or whatever. And I was like, ugh.

What's got, if I had to sum up Rick's vibe in just a sound, it would be this. Oh, no. I've intentionally not watched clips of him on Fox News only because he skips me out so much on Instagram. So I was just like, oh no, oh yeah, he talks exactly as I was expecting to. Well, he is one of those people who is just how he comes

off on Instagram. Yeah. Because that is how he is. Every time they're on Instagram, they're taking yourself and he's always angling at me. Yeah, because that is how he is. Every time they're on Instagram, they're taking a selfie and he's always angling at me. Yeah. He's like, I fucking the camera every time. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like, I'm always like, every single time. Oh, God. He's not great. So Kelly's like, Julie always wanted to come here when she was younger than fun zone. And Julie's like, yeah, but I don't really like it anymore because not older. I's like, Julie always wanted to come here when she was younger than Funzone. And Julie's like, yeah, but I don't really like it anymore because I'm older. I was like, oh, you are, you're old now, but you're old now.

You're stupid, you're a door, you're a door, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So Kelly starts talking about Rick and she's like, Rick does not seem like he's 60 years old, it's unbelievable, he does not seem like he's 60 years old. It's unbelievable. He does not seem like he's 60. I'm like, is that because he's dressed basically never probably in the pitch? Yes. Yeah, pretty much. With Rick, I feel youthful.

Like I can take on the world like I feel like I'm in that movie. I'm like, you are youthful. You're young. It's like me being like, you know, when I'm podcasting with Ronnie, I feel like I'm like a solid 41 years old. It's like, yeah, I know. I'm so lucky to feel 45. So she's like, we can have a little player of games, we can have barbecue until he's like, it smells like shit here. It's like, don't talk like that, you're too young. You're in trouble. She's too, what, she's too young to know what that, what that smells like.

No, she said it smells like shit. She's a little fucking kid goddammit. And she opens her horn mouth one more time, I'm fucking your shit off the set. So Kelly tells us that, Julie loves and hated Dr. Brian, hated Dr. Brian. We saw a little flashback of Dr. Brian basically saying like, yeah, I don't really know Julie very much, we don't really talk whatever. But she loves Rick. So that's good. I'm glad that Julie likes Rick.

And then they all cram onto a Ferris wheel and he was like, did you know my first kiss was on a Ferris wheel? Did you know my first kiss was on a Ferris wheel? Did you know my first kiss was on a Ferris wheel? And he's like, how about your second one right now? I'm like, this is a, a stat should have been a sweet moment. And I'm like, oh, can we wipe down that Ferris wheel?

But also just the angle that they're shooting at, he's like, how about your second kiss? That Ferris wheel. He like that. Your second Ferris wheel kiss. That's fair as to me. Kill I went. Yeah, second fair as to me. Oh, kiss. Yeah. And Jolie says, my first cast was when I was eight.

And Rick's like, what? What the fuck? And he's like, yeah, girl, fist bump. Yeah. And Kelly's her was telling about how Jolie is basically. You know, she's growing up and she's going to puberty and she has mood swings and all this stuff and she's like her hormones are everywhere. I'm supposed to be pre-mediposal and I don't even have these sort of mood swings. You're a door. You're crazy. Yeah, and then we see a closeup of Jolie just like bored like looking away and her necklace. At first I thought it was handcuffs, like two handcuffs, like clinking,

but I think it was the back of her necklace. But I was like, Jolie, don't let that be assigned. Stay a good girl. I know Kelly's your mother and no judge would really convict you if you did anything wrong. They'd be like, Kelly's your mother. Okay, you know what, the robbery is fine. The armed robbery is fine.

We'll forgive you. Yeah. So they're at this like, they're at this like, this beach board walk thing and Kelly's like, oh look, my psychix over there. I'm like, I love that Kelly is, she's like a psychic at the beach board walk. She's like, well, you know, I was watching big

and I thought, well, I want to be big too, so that's my psychic. Yeah, she told me I was going to get divorced from Michael and she told me I was going to get a 10 carat diamond ring from a guy and Jolie's like, uh, that's literally everybody in Newport. Okay, it's not even psychic because like every woman in Newport gets divorced and then gets a 10 carat ring for their next husband.

Seriously. So, um, so they go to the psychic and they're getting a card reading and let's, Rick is up first. And so, uh, he's like, yeah, I play a lot of cards. Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah. So the psychic is like, well, the present relationship is powerful, and yes, it is passionate. And he's like, passionate, it's a good word.

Right? Wouldn't you say, passionate? Yeah, passionate. I'm like, stop. Yeah, I'm so, he's so skinny. And Kelly's like, Rick and the bed, it's fantastic. He has a body of a 29 year old. And trust me, I know what 29 year olds look like, okay?

Yeah. And then she says, like, she's got the Mivejana is still working storyline of the season. Because there's always one, and that's her as the season. Mivejana is still working. We have sex like 97 times a day! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa You got an oven thought So the psychic is like well what I see here is you found family with this woman. He's like yes, I did Her jeez spot which is in her vagina which I had sex with, with my penis. Ugh!

So, yeah! He gets it on! He gets it on like Donkey Kong! Yeah, which I like that Kelly is still committed to talking like a fifth grader. I will say this, she makes so many 80s references in this episode. I mean, she- let's not forget that she just referenced Cocoon. That's hilarious. Yeah, she brings up a con- Dasinger soon. Yes, exactly. So, Jolie's like, um, can I ask something?

What am I going to get a boyfriend? They're like, what are you kidding? You're a baby! You're stupid! Get out of here! We're going to have sex now. So now, so then we go to some super crappy apartments with terrible siding, which means Gino's back in the house. Oh my god. You can see the pot three. Gino's new house and Shannon shows up with 9 lemons in a bowl as a housewarming gift. And I mean what better way to celebrate you. They remind you of all my past taglines. Oh, okay.

Oh, it's so good. So Shannon, do you want a tour I mean it's not gonna be very large you know so we get Shannon's classic tight smile where she's like oh is this your living room where she talks like she's got like a little wooden doll that she's she's talking at what do you call that like a dummy? Yeah, like a dummy. She's like I love how you can go upstairs directly from the living room if you need to just to put one foot She's exciting Okay That's exciting. Yeah. Okay. Nice.

That's nice. Oh, okay. Oh, look. The sleeping, the bed to bedroom ratio is adorably high. Wow. Is that six beds I see across two rooms? Oh, how? Wow.

Yeah. They've got two rooms with three bunk beds each because there's six kids in there now and she tells us I have to Boys in a girl and Travis has two girls and a boy. There are little gang. It's like the Brady bunch But I dropped and only didn't eat Alice and I still think her accent's just fake. I don't even believe it at this point I'm just waiting for the football to hit her in the nose I Have to say did you notice anything about this house Ronnie? just fake. I don't even believe it at this point. I'm just waiting for the football to hit her in the nose. I have to say, did you notice anything about this house, Ronnie? Did I notice anything? Did you notice anything about this house?

Farmhouse? It's like, how about the, how about how it looked on the inside? Um, no, I didn't wreck. I didn't, I didn't want because there was not a single gather sign or gather sign adjacent piece of decor in there. There was not any home goods. There was not any TJ Maxx. I was like, something is up. There's not like, there's literally no little signs, no little chachkis. It was just like full on like normal decor. And I was like, well, she said chachkis. It was just like full on like normal decor. And I was like, well,

she said she just moved in. So here's two things. A, she just moved in. She hasn't had time to unpack all that crap yet. B, um, she is actually happy now, so she doesn't have to broadcast her fake happiness to the world. That's a good point. Signs do. Yeah. Or C, she actually lives in the back of her car with six children and Bravo got her this apartment like five minutes ago to fill in. Sometimes they do that. They do. They do. Remember Brandy Glenville back in the day. So she and I was like, well, is it small? Yes, but they've made it work. I wouldn't say they've made it work. They've made it, you know, if they've made it work. They've made it, I mean, I wouldn't say they've made it work. They've made it, you know, it's, you know, if they make it work, if they were going to show

what it's like to live in a, in a hovel, they've made that work. They've basically made it work if making it work means you're acting like the cast of Fibla on the roof. They've made that work. If they want. I think they need to stop making it work and make it to work because the job might help this situation. Hi. If they're goal was to recreate the Lower East Side of Manhattan in 1905. Wow. They

killed it. They knocked out of the park. If they met to recreate the set of friends, then they have done a good job. Is there heroin around here any there? If they are trying to portray the opening scenes of Charlie and the chocolate factory, they have done an excellent job. If they are trying to, if it is opposite's day, and they're trying to recreate the opening of moving on up from the Jefferson's. They're doing a great job. Moving on down. That's why I used to say to David after we'd have a fight. I'm moving on down.

Mostly. Okay. So, Shannon's like, did you know that Bronwyn moved a block from me? So, that's great! So this is also a coincidence that they all just happen to move onto the same block, like within the same block of each other. I'm confused. There's a lot of fishy news out there.

They really set themselves up well for this pandemic. They created the bubble before the bubble was even needed. So, yeah, Shannon's like, she, did you know, she lives, like a block from me. I mean, I could literally take one of these lemons with a sling shot and break out window of her, not that I ever would. I had, I have not thought about it or, or, uh, practiced or, or measured the angles that I would have to use for maximum destruction. Not at all. Not at all. And she's like, well that's good to know, because she props me in the wrong way sometime just saying.

And Santa's like, and Gina tells her that Kelly's engaged and she goes, yeah, and she's moving into the neighborhood as well. My favorite sound effects first time in this episode. Oh, I don't know, it's like there goes the neighborhood. I mean, even though I just got there myself. So the plan, Gina's going to go to yoga with Kelly tomorrow. And Shannon reminds us that she and Kelly are in a really bad place, mainly because Kelly had called up Jim Bolina when she was mad at Tamara.

I was like, they're stupid, they're stupid. I forget what she told Jim, but she just was like trying to give him dirt. So that way he had a better case against Tamra. Yeah. And Shannon explains this a million times in the episode. And I just love when Shannon goes into victim mode. And she's got the full on hand karate chops. It's the fact that she reached out and called the person who was suing me. That was an extra step that she has taken to get at me. And she was like, well, I think a lot of her anger was towards Tamra and Nash will be in a better place because Tamra's ass is fine because she's in a better spot now in her life. Okay. Yeah, I think so. Well, we'll see. I mean, she's going to be my neighbor. Ah!

Oh, I'm so excited. So excited to have Kelly Dodd and Bronwyn as my neighbor is my new Trace Amiga's. I'm so excited. So, did you feel the energy of Tamra in this episode? I just felt Tamra at home in her new little condo, wherever it is. Just watching this, saying over and over again. Oh, because you need me again, bitch, she was doing that the entire time. And it just made me feel so warm inside. I know. And then

knowing that she probably also cried afterwards saying, it's just like it's hard to watch because it's like my friend. And I want to be there for my friend. I can't be. I'm just here with you, Eddie, while you sit there, suddenly eating a salad salad and I'm just it's just me and this decorative anchor I put up on the wall Let's just that's it. Oh, no she hates Shannon now. Have you not read all this stuff with Shannon? No Shannon she got mad at Shannon because Shannon started Following Kelly again because you know they have to shoot together so that of course they're gonna be because it's like the housewise reset You know like well, it's me friends again this season for five minutes so then

Tamra wrote some passive was aggressive thing to her a long time ago on Instagram and then unfollowed and then People when they were doing the press junkets for this season somebody asked her like why aren't you talking to Vicky or Tamra anymore? And she's like well, I don't even live close to them anymore So it's really just hard to see someone when you don't even, I mean, where do they even live? I have no idea. Oh wow. And so, Shannon, so Tamer's like, yeah, she just uses you.

She uses people when she needs them. And then she just, yeah, you're a real good friend to Shannon Tamer. She clearly wants Shannon to quit. That way it'd be like all three of them some power move. And she was like, oh, I'm gonna do it. Yes, I've got some salmon with cream cheese and it's tummy this now, bitch. So now Kelly's on the phone with Rick. And she's gonna be picking up Bronwyn to go see Elizabeth. And I don't know why I said that she was on the phone with Rick, it doesn't matter. So, so, so, Bronwyn gets at this car and, uh, the service and you're really sucks. Who's AT&T? Do you have AT&T? And Bronwyn's like, I, I wish I had an answer

to that, but, uh, honestly, I was wasted when we signed up for our bills, so I have no idea. She's the God you have no idea, you've never paid a bill in your life! So then they drive and I guess don't talk in the car because there is no scene of them talking at all. We just get to Elizabeth's Beach House in Newport, the New Girl, Elizabeth. Yes. And she's listed as Kelly and Bronwyn's friend

and she's got a dog with a canine vest, like a... Yeah. I thought it was a police dog vest. Same. I thought so too. And at first I first I was like oh this is one of those ladies who probably like gets that vest and like it's like gets all sorts of privileges for her dog just because she's I too lazy to like whatever live without that dog to do that thing and then we find out actually good on the airplane is that we are playing are you trying to make a stand to get stocks on the airplane

because I am that lady. I know. I know, we've discussed this, and I love you for all your flaws, Ronnie, and that's okay. I prefer to put Chris and Dodie on blast because Chris and does it also. But yeah, so at first I was like, oh, she's one of those ladies,

but then turns out she's like a real dog helper. Like dog, like we should have rescued. We'll get into that, but you know. Well now, I mean, she's new to it or whatever, but even if she's new to it Hey, listen, you know, I love your new storyline helping dog if you're only doing that to be on TV Still help a dog. Yeah, it's lovely. It's lovely I'm at least a fan of them somewhere so angry like this is my territory bitch I did it first

So Kelly and Broadway show up and you know you look great and this Elizabeth girl I think she's a crazy drunk ex-musical theater. Yes. And so I guess I love her. Same. Right. I mean, is that a natural response? So I was like, I'm in.

At first, I thought she was going to be like a really mean schoolmarm. I don't know why. I just had that thought. I don't know why. I got an initial pain. I panned from her. Well, as soon as she started talking,

I realized she wasn't that at all. It was just more like something I had. It was just an idea I had in my head for no good reason. You know, you get an idea. You get a notion and you just run with it and you don't know where the notion came from. Yeah, you don't know where the judges but bias cover. Yeah. Well, I had for no good reason. You know, he got an idea, you get a notion, and you just like run with it, and you don't know what it was. Yeah, you don't know what it was, but vice cover. Yeah.

Well, I got a, I got a Dana impression of her from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, like very Dana to me, and like, I'm a billionaire, ooh. So anyway, Kelly says that Elizabeth lived next door to her in her old place next to that guy Rob, who she is one of her best friends or whatever. So they would always hang out because they lived on the beach and she used to live down

there on the beach and stuff. And she's like, yeah, we would just sit on the boardwalk and people were like, walk and buy. And like, we just went from one house to another, you know, and you know, people would walk by and we'd be like, hey, you thirsty. And and Bronwyn's like, well, you know, Elizabeth is a big personality. She's really fun. She takes no shit from anyone. I mean, she showed up at the boozy, beboa baked club wearing a onesie pajama with a butt

flap. I mean, it was outrageous, outrageous. And then we see a picture of that. And it's like a group picture at the country club, but she's wearing these weird blue pajamas with the shirt all open. So because she's got like a big old boobs and we've discovered in this episode. She loves just wearing shirts. I'm buttoned all the way with her boobs hanging out, which hey listen, I've got big boobs. I don't have the confidence to do that. So I'm I'm all for you having a card is I do not yeah

Yeah, she's with like a couple gay guys I think or maybe it's the guys from that we see in this episode But just partying you know, and she has jet she has a beach house Kelly's like I mean her beach house loan is like six or seven million Yeah, exactly so Elizabeth has a boyfriend named Jimmy who made them lunch and I'm mentioning that because it gets mentioned like five different times Well, my boyfriend Jimmy made us lunch So is anyone ready for lunch because my boyfriend Jimmy made it my boyfriend Jimmy made us lunch anyone lunch by Jimmy anyone and so they're outside and Kelly goes inside to pee or something and Elizabeth and Brahman are standing together and it's like warm outside or something and and Elizabeth is holding a champagne bottle And the cork just flies off and I just like hits Brahman right in the face and she's like no don't worry about it. I just got my face

tied and it's totally numb. Don't worry whatsoever. That's so this show. And also this relationship with Jimmy I'm excited to see because he looks like maybe 15 years old and then we get some more of his stories we go. There's something fishy here, not really sure what it is. It's a little... I'm intrigued. Orange County, I'm intrigued. So Kelly just goes to the bathroom, which is all she does in this episode.

She goes to the bathroom whenever she's seen. And Elizabeth's like, oh, the bathroom. It's up in square thing in the middle of the house. So she's kinda got that kind of voice. So then they all gather outside and they're eating lunch because there's vegan and non-vegan options and then a kid, like a teenager bikes by on the bike path and Kelly's like, I see you're vegan, I see you're vegan but not speaking. Oh!

I'm older you and he says 18. It's like perfect, come over here. Hey, I have a child longer than you. And Kelly's like, are you horny? She's like, yeah, I've been horny for three years. I'm waiting to finish my divorce though before I have any sex with anybody. Yeah, because Jimmy won't have sex with her

until she's officially divorced. It's like a principal. Fishy, no, I'm sorry. That's weird, that's fishy. There. I'm being judgmental and said it Not okay, and I'm not taking it back. It's weird to divorce your husband It's been a three-year divorce and you're not having sex with your boyfriend. Mm-hmm. Yeah Well, I guess who is having sex with her boyfriend me? Rick and I have sex like two times a day. Sometimes three times a day. Yeah

two times a day, sometimes three times a day, yeah! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! So why aren't you fucking, your, your team agent is like a psychological thing with him? It's like, yeah, he just wants to do it right. It's like, well, you know what?

If I didn't have sex with Rick, it would be not a true starter with that one! So um, and, but the thing is that's really fucked up is that, so Elizabeth was with her ex and he kept on saying he did not want children, he did not want children. So she basically did not have kids with him and she gave up her dream of having kids and then he left her and then went with a new girl and had a baby with a new girl. So she's really like, fuck this guy, fuck him. And by the way, ladies, if your man says he doesn't want to have kids, I say have to get anyway, because I feel like we hear the stories so many times.

I've heard it from friends in my own life. It has happened like with three of my friends. So just have that thing. Well, I guess you don't want to feel demand, like you don't want to demand a child. Like you are going to have a child if you want to be with me, but you do, you know, sometimes you have to know when to no, fold them and with me, but you do you know sometimes you have to know into no Fold them and no one to hold them, you know what I mean or maybe that just leave the guy and go with someone who does want to have a child with you How about that? That's a better idea

No, no, not if you have a billionaire. It's not like you just go down to the fucking, you know Arby's and find a new billionaire like you found a billionaire you fuck Puk some wholesome some goddamn condoms like do I have to watch days of our lives for you? Come on. I know how many lifetime movies do have to be produced before you figure out what you're supposed to do next It's not a new idea people come on So Anyway, a guy rolls up with Kelly's crock pot. Where's my crock pot dude? Where's my crock pot? The guy rolls up with Kelly's crockpot. Where's my crockpot dude?

Where's my crockpot? So then we go over to Shannon. Oh, Shane and Emily. Oh geez, he's back. Here they come. The most exciting couple ever is back in Orange County. Shane and Emily, he also, okay, so the other guy has this energy.

But Shane has this energy. Oh. So the other guy has this energy, but Shane has this energy. So Shane's big his big debut for the season is this. Sorry, I just banged my my my my my my you got a microphone thing. I'm I flapped so hard. He goes, I was on Facebook and there was a little house in the prairie quiz and I took it and I got a hundred percent. And I was like,

oh! I was like, is this supposed to be like, new nice shame, like, friendly, hugable shame, is the guy who takes, I was like, listen, you know what? I'm just happy past some test, okay? Yeah, no shame. I think this is just a continuation of still don't have a job chain, okay? When you have failed the bar exam like three times or whatever, is it two or three times?

It's three times, right? Maybe two. Three times. You know, I don't know. When you failed the bar a couple of times, now this time too dumb to even know what that stands for. I really don't actually. Better.

Better. Better. The bar is just the bar. The bar. It doesn't mean like better apples realized or something, right? Better attorneys. Big attorneys. Reading. Big attorneys reading.

Okay, I'm too stupid to know what it means. But if you've failed that a lot of times, your wife doesn'm too stupid to know what it means, but if you've failed that a lot of times, your wife doesn't really want to hear it like, hey, I did a little house on the prairie test. It's like great. Great. When I worked all day. Yeah, exactly.

I'm sure I can't wait for you to litigate some cases for Laura Ingalls Wilder. That bitch could've used the lawyer, let's be honest. She went through a lot. Laura. Did Chico block her sister-wind blind, right? I mean, there was that that was a huge lawsuit right there. When the sister-member of that. I've never seen an episode of Little House in the Prairie. Are those Olson witches?

Get them. Sue them. They deserve it. Olson witches. Any witch. Just see the witches. I used to spend the night at this preacher's fan. We were friends with the preacher's family. We didn't even go to his church, isn't that funny?

We were like, oh, how fun. You're a preacher? No, still not going to go to your church. We're not supportive like that, but I will spend the night every week. And so I used to watch it with all those junters. It was like seven, it was a huge preacher fan, like seven decapers.

The camera, anyway, it was a lot of little ass on the the prairie and then I would go home and tell my mom. Oh, we watched little house on the prairie What a show idiots The early years of water crap and watch what prairies, you know I was the thing was that little house the prairie reruns Ron channel 11 and growing up our TV had it We only had rabbit ears. We didn't have cable. We had just had rabbit ears. And so, like, we couldn't get channel 11. So anything that or channel nine, so anything that aired on channel nine or channel 11, which WPI X and W-W-O-R, I just couldn't see them. So it was like a lot of cartoons I couldn't see and a lot of things like the little house in the prairie. If it was on Fox, I was set. But if it was on channel 11, I could

not see my little house in the prairie So I really have no frame of reference for it. Yeah, it was the first time I was like fuck this person Laura Ingalls What it was in my right mom? But yeah, I mean, I don't know I don't know if you need it, but it's still on TV That's the good thing about these days these these modern times now Emily in this season I you know she's trying to make us think that she's had this big revelation, like, look at me, I'm happy in my marriage now.

Look how happy I am. Yeah. But she still looks like she's in the middle of a burp. You know, when you're like burping and you're like, you're just kind of lift your chest a little bit and you're like, I'm gonna try and make this an inside burp and not like a loud burp. She's like, well, how many times has Shane just basically,

like, struck her long? Great news, honey. I scored 100% on the, on the Benson, like, Chandler. Oh, that's great. That's great. That's great.

That's great. That's great. Just like, oh, I thought you were going to say the bar. Yeah. So cheer minds us. It's still a housewives show by ordering an espresso martini. And then she does this thing where she tells the waiter, I think she was just trying to angle for like a free dessert.

She's like, it's all right. Aversary. Yeah, 11 years. Yeah. Can you believe it? Yeah. It's been 11 years. We did it.

Yeah. I mean, it was like, I don't care. I know the waiter is the one person who cares less than the both of you that is your anniversary. It's like, it's our anniversary by the way. It's like, All right, settle down, Tony, Tony, Tony. So she's like, so she's, she's like, well, we probably hit rock bottom last year, you know, you know, because it was very evident to the entire nation that we have a loveless marriage. Yeah, but you know what, the last six months, ever since Shane has found Buzzfeed, wow,

what a turnaround, so many quizzes. Yeah, he's like, how have I been the last six months, honey, what's my report card? So you're very lower in angles, seriously, great job. Who's you've been amazing? He's like, well, what does amazing mean? She's like, kiss me. He's like, yeah.

She's like, uh, Buzzfeed says that I'm the Beyonce of emotional fulfillment. What do you think about that? Yeah. So they talk about how last year she was in such pain and I was like what was her thing last year? It was the hips. I forgot she had hip surgery. Hips don't lie or make for compelling TV So yeah, she's but then this is what I hated she's like well Who is my fault because I didn't recognize that he's a great dad and a great husband. And then coming out of coming out of surgery,

I felt like a whole new life. And he was there for me. He held my hand in a photo. And that was really meaningful for me. Yeah, I've been like that either. No, your husband's still in asshole. And you can't just come back on TV and say it's your fault. I mean, what are you doing?

He doesn't get crazy. He doesn't get like bonus points because he did like the bare minimum of what a husband should do after his wife comes out of surgery which is like 10 to her and be loving. That should be like part of the deal. That is part of like the base model. Okay, that is not an upgrade.

Yeah, so they start talking about, he's like, how are your friends? And she tells him Kelly's getting married on 10, 10, 20, 20, which just happened. She did in fact get married on 10, 10, 20, 20. And she She did, in fact, get married on 10, 10, 2020. And she's like, but I don't even know if it's real. I need to know. And he asked about Bronwyn, and she says

that Bronwyn got a new house. So she has to go over there and see it. And he's like, yeah, she's probably real humble about it. Till King of Snorkhazin! Tana, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. We go snorkels in! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun So Emily is like, well, you know, I like Bronwyn. I mean, she's a good person.

It's just that she drinks so much. Like, when you're a rounder, you can't even have a conversation with her. I was getting excited because this is one of my favorite real housewives tropes Is that when the cast starts gaslighting someone for drinking too much even though they all drink so much and I was like Oh, it's happened to Bronwyn, but I'm obviously by the end of the episode. It's like oh oh Oh, it's not gonna be like that. Okay, but I was getting at this point. I was excited Yeah, this is a legit one also Let's let's then we see clips of Bronwyn just being wasted all over

the place. By the way, we cannot miss Shane's biggest King of Snark as a moment, which is that he said, most people that I speak to, if I say there's a relationship problem, I advise them to get King of Snarkasm! Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b Emily and I kind of agree with this. She's like, look, when someone's that wasted all the time, you can't have a close relationship. Because it's like they don't remember the next day. It's like, what are you gonna talk about? And I get that and I'm dangerously close to being that. It's not, you're not having a dialogue with someone. Then usually, when someone's drunk, they usually talking at you, you know,

with a lot of saliva. I kind of get both sides of that. So she's just like kind of over that. And basically they say, I mean, they're basically still extremely boring. There is boring as the steak and french fries dinner that they had and to Nella's or whatever the hell it's called. Yeah, exactly. So now Shannon walks across the street to Bronwyn's new house. This is also like a subtle trope we have in the housewives, which is that when they live close to each other, we get scenes of them walking to

each other's houses or driving like a in in case of Kyle and Doreet, just like driving a block. So, um, so Shannon goes into Brownwood's house and say, hey neighbor, how hey, wow, look at this house, it's not a, it's not an urban farmhouse, how about that, that's strange, how odd. That's strange. How odd? And sounds like it's traffic bad neighbor traffic bad Yeah, I see we're still going with the statement necklace Sean. That's great. That's great Yeah, is there with the dad the dad joke right away. Yep. I wish I was still in the layside because I left my necklace that he gave us there Oh, I think I have my black my black necklace. Yeah, yeah, I need my black statement necklace from Sean. Yeah, because Sean and Bronwyn both came to the crappies this

year and Sean gave us, he gave us each one of those statement necklaces that he has. Yeah, like seeing I or whatever that is. So Bronwyn's like, well, you know, I just love this house. We just needed a bigger house because it is so hard, you know, not having an 8,000 square foot home. So that was really difficult for us. So then we get a tour of the home. Just ridiculous. At first, it starts off nice. It first starts off like, all right,

you know, there's the living room. I love the living room with like the brown, like the wall and there was like that. What have you called those ceilings? I thought it was like a cool look, a little different than what we normally see. But then things start spiraling out of control with excess. And bad kitchen, like if this was on HGTV,

it would be like, it needs to got, like the kitchen, needs to got, I feel like the lady, really the lady from any HGTV show would walk in there and go, hey, I've got an idea, why don't we open this up? Let's take down this wall and then this wall. The kitchen didn't really register on me. It didn't offend me. I just thought, and nothing really offended.

It was an L shape. It's an L shape. It was a big L. It was just in a huge house. It looked like a very small kitchen for being in a huge house. And then outside, there was a pirate ship. And then there was was like a pirate ship. And then there was like a volleyball net.

And then there was like a meditation room. And then, and then Jenna goes, oh well, look, you can eat outside. Whoa! But then there's like a movie theater. And then there's like a nightclub. And that's where I was like, what? And there's like a night, and she's like, yeah,

and you know what, it's all black lighting. So when the lights are off, it says, cheers to bad choices. I'm like, okay, I understand you needed to get more space because you have a billion children. But like if, if some of that space is because you also want to incorporate a nightclub into your house,

I'm listening, if you can buy it, then mom's at top. Mom's a rough place to start your sobriety from storyline for sure. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And if you have seven children, here's what you need. A panic room with the kitchen in it.

Okay. You need a panic room with an 80 inch TV and a fucking kitchen. That's what you need. And let's just a point counterpoint. Let's just remind everyone that Gina has six children cooped up in those D bedrooms in that townhouse. So, it's a study of contrast.

Get a job. So, let's see here. Gina is talking to Kelly. So, we get a clip, we get a cutbacks back and foreseen. Bronwyn is with Shannon and her new house and then Gina and Kelly are talking so Gina's like have you have you have it been to hot yoga and Kelsa Corbin kicked out three times That like it just makes so much sense like of course Kelly's gotten kicked out of hot yoga three different times It's so hot here. Why would you run the air conditioner? It's hot. No one's even hot. No one's even hot here.

It's the ugly yoga. What they call this? Not hot yoga. You're all ugly. So what mind if I fart? You know what mine? If I fart, not yoga. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh, I'm so, James is like, yeah, I gotta get my butt back in shape. I've been eating wheels of breath. I put on some love job. It's like the freshman 15 to get there. You're excited.

And before you know it, you look down. You got a situation to handle. And I got a situation to handle. It was very relatable actually. And then I mean, like, listen, quarantine, that that's, although I guess I wouldn't say that I'm happy with coronavirus, but I will say that I have been eating my feelings of pizza. Are they delicious?

I have delicious feelings, by the way. I mean, I understand God made us to be sensitive feeling creatures, but why did He have to make our feelings so delicious? I mean, they are so good. I've never tasted feelings that are bad. My feelings have been just like off the charts delicious. Five star, like it's like a three star Michelin feelings, you know?

I know. I opened my Uber Eats the other, well, I opened my credit card the other day and I haven't bought anything because where are you gonna go? What are you gonna buy? You know, like there's nothing to even buy anymore. And so I opened my credit card just to see

what all these charges work. So I'm like, where's all this money going? Uber eats Uber eats Uber eats Uber eats Uber eats Uber eats. I have been, my feelings are very expensive. Yeah, I've been out of control. So anyway, so they go, they do their hot yoga. And then, and Kelly's like, well, this is child's play. You know, what I do in the bedroom with Rick, I mean, that's,

this is compared to this. Talk about down dog. So then they go shot, they go shopping a little store together. And they don't seem to really have much to say to each other. Like Kelly, Kelly's just completely ignoring Gina and just looking at pants and so Kelly's like well I partied with Bronwyn. She seems to be okay, and she's like she just drinks too much I'm sorry, but she drinks too much. Yeah, and Kelly's like that's true I mean she came down to Miami for Rick 60th birthday and like she was on a whole other level there

It was like Kim's like blind day with Kim Basinger. Which was a real specific reference which I did appreciate. I'm not gonna lie. I had to really dig for that. I was like, what? What was that? I do remember her getting like really was it just that she was so nervous to be on the day. I think that's what was that.

I actually never saw it but it was like a big hit and I think it was that like she was so nervous to be on the day. I think that's what it was. I actually never saw it, but it was like a big hit. And I think it was that like she was like, I think the idea of it was that she was like chill, but then when she drank, when she drank, she just became wild. And it was this crazy date. I don't know, I'm troubled with Bruce Willis, right? Yeah.

Okay, so Shannon and Bronwyn at, okay, so we cut back to Shannon and Bronwyn. And Shannon's like, well, what are you drinking? Water. That's the thing about these shows. Okay, so we cut back to Shannon and Bronwyn, and Shannon's like, well, what are you drinking? Water! Ugh! That's the thing about these shows. They say they're always calling each other out for being alcoholics,

but if someone doesn't drink in one scene, they treat it like, oh my God, you're not having a drink. Yeah. They're like lizard people from that show, V. Oh, wow. I shouldn't be a little concerned about that. So, so, Bronwyn's drinking water, Shannon, by the way, is wearing this baseball cap

that just says, hashtag sketch. And I don't know what she's trying to promote, but it looked ridiculous. And Shannon's talking about how, how, you know, I, you know, I haven't had any alone time with John, I mean, like, you know, and I don't want him, I don't want him moving until, like,

I know, I know for sure that it's the right thing because I do not want to put my children through that. Okay, but Gina on the other hand, wow! Gina and Travis, they already moved in! Wow! Wow! And to Acondo! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Wow, they have poor morals and poor!

Just in general, poor. They brought them on with, like, wow, six kids. What is it, a town, a condo townhouse? I mean, that sounds like a really, really bad choice. Yeah, guess what, being poor is a bad choice, okay? I don't think any of us are happy that we chose that. I love when rich people are like, oh my God. A townhome, a really?

Well, God, what a choice. Maybe she was thinking, like, she should save a money and they got a bigger place before they cram all the kids in there. But then again, maybe it's their way of saving money is moving in together. I don't know. So she's like gross. Basically, she's like gross.

So Sam is like, yeah, there's a boy punk bedroom and a girl bunk bed rooms She's like yeah sounds awful So then back with Gina and Kelly Gina's like It's crazy how me and you and Shannon woman it's someone it like the same time Like it's gonna be like my ever person. Like we're all like that. It's like gonna be my forever. Yeah, because you always say that about everybody you guys meet.

Yeah, literally everyone. And then we go back, yeah. And then we go back to Bronwyn's place. And she's like, well, Bronwyn's like, you know, well, Kelly's moving into the neighborhood and Shannon goes, I heard the person I considered a friend reached out to someone who was suing me and now she's moving in my neighborhood. I'm so happy. I'm still a happy person. So happy. And then back with Kelly. Kelly's like, Shannon just looks a creak chaos. You know what I like to create?

Boning! Boning with Rick! I'm fucking right now in my head. And she was like, well, you know, she was just real sensitive about you, you know, you coined up a lean out guy. She was influenced by Camberall, so whatever. Yeah, which is true. It's 100% true. By the way, this all reminded me that like, I really liked last season of Orange County.

I feel like it, people did not like it. And I thought it was so good. And looking back on it, I was like, that was a good season. I'm sorry, it was a good season. I'm sorry it was a good season. Yeah, so we see clips of that with Tamra and Vicki just going on attack with Kelly who's just so innocent guys. I mean, Kelly never does anything to anybody.

I don't know why they would go after her. Yeah, and so it's Tamra's going. And Vicky, like, fuck you, Kelly, Dad, fuck ya! So yeah, so, so, so Gina's saying that that Shannon's in a really good place right now and John has been good for her and like hopefully everyone can come together and we go back to Bronwyn's house and Bronwyn's like well Shannon if you know if Kelly were over here would you come over here and talk to her and Shannon's like you know what you need to say do you want Shannon to come over because I'll come but I'm not gonna come in and walk into Frick and Fire maybe some fireball I'll have some fireball. Ha! Or some hot tamales. I could kill for a hot tamale right now.

But I will not walk him to fire! Ha! Ha! Fireball. So now we get an Elizabeth scene. Our first big Elizabeth solo scene. So Elizabeth is driving in a car or being driven in a car by her brother. And some gay guy with a crazy plastic face is Tony. It's crazy. Yeah. The Orange County gay face out there is not messing around. Some nipping, some tucking, some fillering.

And this girl Elizabeth Lush, she's in the button down shirt with her boobs all out and says, Sha, and now because she's like a tacky housewife. Now this is making me think, is she getting that much money in her divorce? Because I don't feel like real rich people wear that many labels, right? Because she's got the Shah now, and then she's got the big LV belt on as well. And it just seems.

It's Nouveau-Riche, right? And she's Nouveau-Riche, because she even tells us she says that she grew up, she was born originally just outside the Ozarks. And she's like, I grew up, she was born originally, like just outside the Ozarks and she's like, I grew up garbage can poor. We were country hillbillies, pulling up in a pinto with accents and big buck teeth. Yeah.

And her gaze like, oh my God, like all of a sudden, you're gonna get an accent to catch. Like, I mean, the minute I realized money got me out of poverty, I'd never stopped working I guess. Wow what a what a what a bombshell I like what a breakthrough idea. I'm so glad you figured that out. I'm so glad you figured out that the way to get rid of a lack of money is to earn money. God you know once I figured out that in order to not be hungry, I needed

to eat things. He already came with some way back. So she wants to open up a rescue center for dogs and she tells us about this beautiful dog that she has named Kota, who is the light of her life, although it's kind of funny because Kota means it's sort of like the end. So, but she was really depressed after her divorce, and then the dog gave her purpose, which was really, Coda is gorgeous. What a gorgeous dog. I love her.

And her brothers like, well, you haven't talked about giving up edge music yet. I'm just partying on it, that's what it is. My doctor said, you better calm down. You're gonna have a horde of time. I have a couple partners in mind that can buy it and I would have a not-scath balance But I just can't sell it so often my divorce or he gets half my ex is burnt bowdell During college. I started this dinner theater capric excuse me Excuse me. I'm the capric saw around here. Okay. I don't care if you married

me. I'm the cap race all around here. Okay, I don't care if you married. Burt Bodele or Barbara Mandrel. I'm the cap race star. Getting the back, Burt Bacarack. All right. There's a new countess in town. Happy birthday to you. I so I cannot believe that cabaret has has has like raised its ugly head on Orange County now also. Yes. And this is when I was like love her, love her. Okay. During college, she started at dinner theater Cabaret. And I did that here in Austin. My mother father had a restaurant and I started Cabaret night and I was

sit on top of a grand piano and sing. It was so fun. And so of course, I love this girl. And she saw a billionaire and he used to come in all the time. Burnt, Barrett, actually. Bo-Dell, and as a burnt. Burnt, Barrett, Baudel. Yeah, Barrett, Baudel.

And so he would come in all the time because apparently he loves some showtumes, but you know, billionaires can do whatever the fuck they want to. Yeah. And he sat in there and so she was like, he's a billionaire so I just walked up to him and saying big spender to him and boom I got a husband now why doesn't that you know how many times I've saying big spender to people where's my husband? This is true sometimes when we were doing our live shows pre-pandemic you would actually I feel like play some Refrains of big spender during our sound checks.okastland is a real place.

But we went to it wherever it was, and we'd go ski-shooting. Sometimes he would line up all the fesins, and he wouldn't just shoot them. He'd put them in little hats and make them do a chorus line, and then he'd shoot them. That's how rich he was. Even the peasants listened. To say peasants, I meant fesins. I lost myself being married. I mean, hit him, flew us how I walked, how I talked, how big my boobs were.

I was like, oh, so he's he pulled the jacks on you and made him get those things. Well, that was a good purchase. I love those boobs. Yeah. So he was like, she says I was just a bottle head wife. I could I could I just knew that with him I could never beat the smart intelligent entrepreneur I was meant to be. I was always gonna be the billionaire's wife and I could not stand it. So I decided I was going to reinvent myself. Good-by, Thierry Club and hello, new, non-dromatic Elizabeth. And now I'm opening a dog dinner theater. She is slowly heading into like Savannah, Georgia.

Now with her accent. And then I said, I'll say it, I will not. I know. It's gonna take some time, but she's pretty unique. And I love that she's gonna have a voice for us to do one day. It's not gonna be any more than your voice ever. I just like to your interpretation of her. So I'm like, I'm gonna do it too. Yeah, but then you do it and then I do yours and then by the time we're

done, I was like, oh no, say it on the balcony. I'm the, I say it. Hello big spender. The minute she walked in the john, I could tell you was a man of distinction And that's just gonna be Lee Ann Lock in like doing lines from seven. Sorry Workshop for never we never said we're good with our voices. Okay, so now we're back up from Bronze. Yeah, so back to boring town back to someone who doesn't have a dinner theater Way to like open up a nightclub and not a cabaret in your house. Bronwyn really missed your opportunity there. I mean, where are like the velvet curtains and like little

bistro tables, okay? Yeah. So Kelly comes over. This is by the way a different Bronwyn scene. We're not the same one. Different, different ones. So Kelly comes over. But Bronwyn's like, fuck it, we're shooting at my house today

and we're going to shoot at my house tomorrow. And then then we're gonna shoot at my house again. Hope you like it Yeah, pretty much So Kelly and Bronwyn have the same like they're matching tops and bottoms They have the same sort of Versace thing like a yellow patterny thing paisleyish so it's like hilarious and Kelly's like let's have some shots. That's have some shots. What a shy, what a shy. She's like, I might actually have some water right now.

She's like, okay, you stupid face. I'm gonna have a shot. So Kelly's like, Kelly, she drinks sometimes, but I mean, she has seven kids. I mean, why wouldn't you drink? Yeah. So then, Bronwyn has arranged a meeting with Shannon. So Shannon comes over.

Do you know is that Shannon had a USC flag out on her? She had a USC flag, but USC did not give the rights over. So the USC part was blurred out. I was like, man, that's, that's harsh when even USC won't even allow you to show their logo on on a show. I know they've been represented so well on this show. University of Spirits, okay? Well, you're stupid. You're a stupid school. So, University of Spiritschilk, I know! Well, you're stupid, you're a stupid school. Um, yes.

So she comes over and channels just like, howdy, Kelly. I'm so happy I could be here, it's Kelly. Wow, what Kelly am I going to get today? What crazy Kelly, wow! So, Kelly Don! So, Kelly's gotten her present and and it's a stack of Uno cards, so lots of Uno cards. And Santa's like, haha, haha, alright that's funny, that's funny.

Because there's only Uno Amiga left. I see, that's very funny. That's very funny. And Kelly's like, well it's actually two players, so it's actually like, you have dose, dose of me, dose of me, dose of me, dose. And Shannon's like, well, you know what? There was thought in that. That was, that's an olive branch.

It's a gesture, and I'm appreciative of it, because if I'm not, I have nothing to do this season, so I better get on board with the Kelly train. OK, I'm on board. So their makeup session is so real housewives. She ends like, Kelly, I've got to say, what I was actually upset about is that a step was taken to reach out to the opposing side

and you and I had multiple convos about how devastating it was. And Kelly's like, whoa, dude, we didn't have multiple conversations about me if he feeling ganked up on by this review. And it was like continuous accusations. I got beat up on continuously. I mean, I wasn't hurting you.

But I was hurt. So I'm explaining why I was hurt by you. The person who hurt me, that's all. Yeah, but like they were saying that I broke someone's hand and then I threw my mother down the stairs. I mean, it was relentless, okay? I was hurt too, Kelly. But you're talking about you, and I'm talking about Mia.

And Kelly's basically like the problem is, Travis, that she can't take the accountability for her actions. She never can! She never can! Yeah, like, I mean, if she could just get out of the bull crap in her head that I'm the villain, then we'll be fine! And so she's like, well listen, there are certain words and certain actions that can be done. So, so low! Low! They create so much more damage than they should. So as a friend, if I did something like that,

I would want someone to point it out to me. And Brauma's like, yeah, she was just trying to help. Yeah. And then I think at this point is when Kelly's like, I gotta go pee. She doesn't even say anything. She just walks up. She just gets up and walks away.

And they're like, ah. And then we'd listen to it. And then we'd listen to the pee. And we're like, we're like listening and watching Shannon and Brawins just stand there like hmm. Well I guess I have my homework ahead of me kind of learned the rules to this you know game Thought it was a tarot card set, but it turns out just a bunch of numbers and an occasional R and S They just stand there at listen to her pee, listen to her wash her hands, and then Kelly comes back out, and she's just looking at them like, so she sits back down. And, um, Shannon's like, well,

now I think it's very nice we're all here, and you and I had a special relationship, Kelly, and I am flawed, but I do not attack people's character, and I'm sorry if you feel that. Which is so housewise and Kelly's like, well, my intentions were to hurt you, and I'm sorry if you felt that I was trying to hurt you, which I was not. So I apologize for doing nothing wrong. Absolutely. You. She can't take a catapult. So, Shann's like, you know what? I'm in a very positive space right now. I don't know if you saw, but there was a crazy silly string party at my house.

Because we all are having so much fun. We're so happy. We're so happy. So, I just want to keep on rolling on the happy wave. And I don't want to fight. I hate fighting. So let's just play some Uno! Uno! Yeah, so they just decide, okay, let's just, you know, it's the beginning of a new season. There's no one else here, so I guess we're stuck together. Yeah, problems are like...

So then we go. Well, we can play Uno at your house, we can eat eat at your house and we can dance the night away at my house Yeah, I think we'll probably leave out that last destination. Okay great great So then Gina is in the car with Travis her new boyfriend and he's just kind of like a bearded I don't know dude. It's kind of like a vanilla guy. It's like fine He's fine. Yeah, and she's eating a sausage muffin in their car on the way to the lawyer. So they go see the lawyer and basically talk about Matt. They're kind of trying to make up and co-parent the kid, but they have to get rid of this restraining

order or whatever she has against Matt so that they can move on with co-parent or something. I don't know. It was like real law and really sad. So I was like, it wasn't really sad. It just was not that interesting. So basically it's just, yeah. Like, they're co-parent. Despite everything, they're co-parenting, and Matt and Travis have been respectful to each other, and they're just trying to.

She doesn't want to take away her kids' dad from them. So they're just like moving forward and finding ways to make things work, okay? So now guess what? Let's go back to Bronwyn's house. It's something that's seen in Bronwyn's. Going back to Bronwyn's house. And this time it's Emily who shows up.

And so Bronwyn's like, I got some champagne for you. And Emily's like, oh, I wish everyone said that every time I walked into a room. Hmm. Apparently, Laura Ingalls doesn't really like celebrating people with champagne. Lucky me. I figured that out when I got a two out of 30 on the little house in the prairie quiz. And Shane and I have been fighting ever since. So, Bronwyn tells us that she's tried to make a connection with Emily, but they're just not close and she purposely cut her out last year, even though Emily's really the only true speaker in the whole group and she just wasn't ready to hear the truth.

So she sits Emily down and she's like, oh my god, I'm nervous right now and I know we're not close and oh, I just, my heart is racing. Oh my god, I'm doing this wrong. Oh my god I don't want to do this and basically she tells her Remember last year when you called me an alcoholic It's like well instead of taking it to heart I pushed you away and I got mad at you and I came up with reasons to be mad because it was easier than dealing with it and at you and I came up with reasons to be mad because it was easier than dealing with it. And Miami was really bad.

It was really, really, really bad. Yeah. And Emily's just sitting there with her glass of wine like staring at her like, why am I here? You better make this good, I know. I didn't even realize that Bronwyn and Emily had a thing. But Bronwyn tells us that she, for the when she was in Miami,

she didn't stop drinking for four days. And that like, everyone would finish up their night, but she kept on drinking and she would drink every hour. She would start to shake. She started getting the shakes. And so she would do a shot to stop the shakes. And she thought she was probably gonna die.

And then she tells about how like the first time she had a drink was when she was 14 and she was living with her grandfather. So, you know, I probably had some abandonment issues from my mom or dad, probably my mom. Obviously, probably mostly my mom. Yeah, so I just wanna wedge that. Just mom, just want you to know that this is you,

this, it's you. Yeah, you did this. Okay, moving forward. Yeah, just get some mom in there. Just sneak that up. But basically, she realized like she's an alcoholic because she's hiding clues from her husband and she's refilling alcohol bottles so she wouldn't get caught in the staff.

And you know, she was avoiding feeling things and like going through telling you. Don't be putting on like blist eggs or whatever while we're talking about her alcohol. You know what, you're like, you're like, you're like, you I start talking about self care and like take care of yourself I was like my lips are so tough. You're like yes, so she's just like hiding booze from her husband and like I don't know she's sort of like at a low point in her life and like almost Just a little bit of bronze alcoholism storyline really inspired me to keep your look keep keep care of my lips So it was really hard for her and she was feeling things and you know blah blah blah So Emily is just looking at her and she's like so I just you got to love Emily because she's

Smells bullshit, and I'm not saying this is bullshit from Bronwyn but Emily is waiting for some bullshit. She's on a house watch show. She's like, okay, so this girl's just gonna sit here and give me some bullshit. And so she doesn't let her. She goes, so is your plan not to ever drink again? Like getting her to say, like, yeah, it's like you have to make a sand right now on camera that you're never gonna drink again. I was like, damn, Emily and Bronwyn does. She does. She's like, I don't think that I ever can't drink again. I was like, damn, Emily. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, crazy. And then she talks to us on, she's addressing us the camera and she goes, you know, for the first time in my life, I can say my name is Bronwyn and I'm an alcoholic.

And in the show just ends. I was like, I actually thought I was like really, really powerful. And, you know, totally, you know, Bravo to her, no pun intended, but Bravo to her for like, you know, like getting to that point of like realizing what you had to do to help herself. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, overall this episode, I was shocked that I enjoyed it. I mean, we've gone for an hour and a half.

Pretty much. I know. I thought I was gonna be so angry. I thought I was gonna be like, oh, fuck this. These problematic women. And I was like, oh, it's fine. For now, because I think that's, you know, most of it off the show. I mean, we'll see where it goes. I don't think it's gonna happen. We're gonna enter COVID season where I'm sure we'll have plenty to rage about, but for this one, I was pleasantly surprised

because all the bloggers have been going crazy. Like, this is the where shit I've ever sat through. And what, what show are you used to watching? Like, go back and watch it for a couple of seasons for Orange County. Literally nothing happens ever at the gym. So, and Orange County's always had awful people. Always had awful, awful people.

And, you know, that's one of the reasons why we tune in. Because we are fast in to see how these people just go through their lives being the way they are. I mean, that is like a thing. That's why we tune in. One of the reasons why we tune in. And so we can't all of a sudden be like, oh, wow, they're awful. I was like, yeah, yeah, that's, that is like a thing. That's why we tune in. One of the reasons why we tune in. And so we can't all of a sudden be like, oh, wow, they're awful.

I was like, yeah, yeah, that's the point. Yeah, they're still awful, at least they are. So everybody, thank you so much for being here. Guess what, Ben? What? We never pressed go live on the video. Well, that's fabulous. That would be my fault. Well, this is on the video. Well, that's fabulous. That would be my fault.

Oh, shit. Well, this is a great video. And what actually sucks is that this video, there was also some really fun visual stuff because we were out of control with our hand movements and stuff. Wow. Oh, no.

I'm sorry, everybody. That's my fault, everyone. That's my fault. Hey, it happens. We've been pressing a lot of buttons. We've been sorry everybody. We'll do our bonus on video. We'll do the bonus on video. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Well, next week we'll be back on video for Orange County for sure. Yeah, for sure. Oh, sorry, everyone. Well, thanks for being with us everybody. Welcome back to Orange County. Come check out our other shows

and we will be back tomorrow with our Kim D interview. And that is on camera so you can come watch that one if you're on crap and it's on demand. We love you guys. Bye. Bye. We're still waving anyway, we're still gonna wave. Yeah.

Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Dana C, Dana Duh. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella. Itch-Ols. Let's rent some errands with Emily Erions.

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Shining out of a cannon Anthony! Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy! Let's take off with Tamela Plane! She ain't no shrinking Violet Koo-Tar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watercraft and add free on Amazon Music. We love you guys! comm slash survey.