Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Getting Dragged

Episode Date: September 6, 2017

The Real Housewives of Orange County dress like men for charity. Will Kelly be able to keep the peace? Or will she get dragged all over again? Also, this week’s premium bonus is a drunken four AM aftershow breakdown of Crappens Live. For bonus episodes and extras, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-slaeshwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatch on Instagram and Facebook at Watch What Krapans. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.

I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Happens podcast the podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yale Braves. I'm Roni Karram from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. Interior I am with my gorgeous talented and very post-busy friend Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter blender. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello. Does it feel weird on the top of our show right now? We have nothing to promote. We don't have any live shows. We don't have any bells and whistles to throw at you guys. It's just just good old classic Ben and Ron. We don't have any audience members being really nice to us. I'm just setting up Domino's pizzas in here like empty Domino's boxes from throughout

the week. Pretend you're laughing, okay? Yeah, so instead of self-promoting, I can switch gears to what we do best, which is apologizing because the episode that we finally post after all this, two months, two months of high about this live show, we do it. It's amazing. It's the best show we've ever done. It's the biggest show we've ever done, the most famous people ever.

And then I post this thing on our podcast feed and it's Motherfuckin Glitchy. And it cuts off at like an hour and a half minutes directly before Jeff Lewis and all of them come out, which looks so shady. So I then immediately, like within like half an hour, I replace it with the product, like I get the file up and working. But now it's like everyone, everyone who subscribes already has the improper thing downloaded onto their films. And so now everyone's, so now everyone's like, it cuts off, it cuts off.

So let me reassure everyone, it does cut off, but it is fixed, but, but it's annoying. You have to basically delete the episode from your phone and then you've got to like fully quit the podcast app if you're on iPhone. So you have to like do that thing where you double, double tap and you swipe up and it's like, gone, be gone, we've quit you podcast. And you reopen it again and redownload the episode and it'll be beautiful. Super annoying, I apologize, but we also have links up on our page

for if you just want to get a direct listen from art 19. And hey, since we're not promoting ourselves, let's promote ourselves. So this week for the bonus episode, we just talked at like three in the morning, drunk after four at the morning. There's four in the morning. Drunk after our show,

because we could not go to sleep. And we had such a fun day. So we kind of do just a breakdown of feels after the show drunkenly. It's, I haven't actually listened. I'm gonna post the bonus episode after this. I haven't listened to it since we recorded it, but yeah, Rhine and I were so amped from the live show

that we, we like texted it like 345, and I'm like, oh my God, we're still up because we're looking at all the pictures and like, whoa, and he was like, you wanna do a show? Like sure, but what the funny thing was that you were like in bed and it is the most low key you ever sounded on the podcast. Like you were full, you were like, yeah, this is great show. So fun, like, people were so nice. I even go to sleep, but I great show. So fun. Like, people are even

out of sleep, but I could not go to sleep. I thought we have to do this. And you're like, get on Skype. I was like, no, honey, this is on a phone. This is a phone date. So yeah, it sounds like I'm Frazier and you're a caller, you know, and the thing is, it was, I was like, leave it to us. Okay, leave it to us to spend the two days working around the clock, stressing out, putting together this whole crazy show,

and we're sweating, it's 100 degrees, it's humid, and we're like, it was so many moving parts, and we have this Shannon Bedouard surprise that we're not sure what's gonna happen or not. We got Jeff and Jenny Engage engaged and Jenny's got like a rap she wants to do and we're trying to create that. Make sure everything works out there. We got to set this all this stuff and then we have this thing and then there's the after party to get the after party and you think that we'd get home

and just be like, ah, leave it to us to be like, okay let's do another episode it for in the morning. It's addictive. I'm telling you. So if you want that bonus, go to L Patreon and thank you to everybody who supports us in every way. Um, so I'm, wait, one last thing. It's just to say that I'm like still on a high from that show. I like. It was like a career highlight for me, truly. I'm still on a high and I'm still on a tired because that day after going back to that fucking place downtown in like a hundred degree weather when we're hungry over and slept four hours to box up merch and clear

yeah and then I have place I was like I need to sleep for three weeks now I do not move around as much okay that that is a lot of moving and heat for me. It was awful It was so hot and humid and then we had to pack up everything into my Toyota Camry So it was like I was going off to college and that was a puzzle unto itself and we were just sweating and the most amazing part is We're sitting down the street and these two girls from Fresno are like Ben and Ronnie Can we take a picture? Like Where did these girls come from? How did they know it would be? It was amazing, but we were sweating.

I'm like, I hope you enjoy your picture that's looking terrible. But it was so funny. And then I had to rush up to Hollywood to do my fancy football draft. And I didn't get to do any research. So my team, my team is fucked this year basically because I was doing it on a phone in a pizzeria.

So anyway, that's life. But then we, but then we, but then we hung out with a bunch of listeners. We should mention this because this did not make it into the bonus episode. And then we'll get into Orange County. But we did do our scavenger hunt. And we had one team participated. Yes. It was so hot. We didn't think of that when we made the whole scavenger hunt that it's

August in 100 something degree weather and people were like, and no, we'll meet you at the bar after for the party. But it was actually, it actually was so, it was really cute and funny. We gave them medals and we had a whole presentation and we all hung out at revolver for four hours. And I'm sorry to anyone if I may have started to seem like I was like, it was mainly because I was like, it was after two hours, I was like, I need to go to sleep right now. But I was like, I was like, I hope no one sees how tired I am right now because I think everyone was saying, but everybody was tired, but we had so much fun and I was like, I'm just party all night. And then after I think four or five hours, I

Something hit me and I was like, I gotta go. I'm okay. And I said, I'm about to either eat everybody's head because I'm starving I said I'm about to either eat everybody's head because I'm starving or Follow sleep or just bar fun somebody. I'm not even sure what's gonna happen, but I don't want to do it in front of you guys So bye. Yeah, I scurried off to tender greens and there was like about six or seven Muscley men and tank tops and I just I started to feel I was like just drunk enough that I just felt extreme shame like Why why can't I be like that why can't I ever Motivate myself. I mean, I know I'm eating a salad now, but why can't it be healthier? Another aspect of my life Oh, it's very sad rollercoaster Exactly where I wanted to be in the back room

Just looking at those go-go boys from the other room. I was like we you don't have to work out in this room You guys we were in the non-Go-Go dance room They go go dancer came in for one second and like second and shook hands with some of our listeners and then left. It's like hot and nice to meet you. Also, Revolver is the best bar for us to do those parties because it's like another world that's very dreamy. There's like all these gay people parting their ass off and all these go-go boys. And like video remixes and stuff. And I think it's really a fun atmosphere.

Yeah, we've done it there and it's been so great every time. Yeah, we really have to thank Revolver Bar because they are really accommodating to us and they're so easy going. So if you guys are ever in West Hollywood, be sure to go in there and get a drink and give them some business because they are good to watch for crap And well, we are eight minutes into this bit. So let's talk about it. Stop flagulating self-legulating real housewives of Oh, I meant self aggrandizing not self-legulating, but I guess we probably did both. It's pretty amazing both. Yeah probably did those. It's probably a mix of both. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yes. This week we open with Lidian and her and the, you know, everybody's getting ready to do something. Yeah. Lidian or mom are shopping for Pasch meanas. For some reason. And both are assuring each other that their pink Pasch meana is heavenly. And Lidia Lisa Rina. She's like, are you kidding me? Like it's a past Mina. You both need to calm the fuck down. Yeah. They were like, like, I want the pink past Mina. I know I want the pink past Mina. I'm like, this is, this kind of epitomizes your entire story line the season, Lydia.

Like this is the most exciting moment for you all season. You grabbing a pink past Mina and anything you let your mother try on you have to buy it because it's gonna be covered in glitter like they're not taking that back stop letting her try close on no one wants to pay hundreds of dollars for some goddamn page Mina with glitter all over it that shit's harder to get out the dog hair I just want interrupt to say that my phone just had a notification. It says, Leanne Locke and replied, get in here, the trolley whistle, LMIO. I don't know what's going on on Twitter right now, but I'm very excited to check after the show.

Well, Twitter redid the way they do notifications. Have you noticed? They're telling me like, so and so just followed so and so. I'm like, I don't give us crap. Why are you telling me this all this and oh yeah I've been getting that too I got something that was like it was it was something it was something random like I don't know like the band train is now following Don Lemon I'm like I'm like why you telling me that I don't know it's like some some, some closeted gay dude, you knew, and, you know, Zack White Elementary is now following NASCAR. I don't care. How are you choosing these?

Like, why aren't you telling me what Liza Manelli is doing right now? We're like, yeah, I actually got one. I actually got one that was, I got one that was so random that took a screenshot. It said, Glenn X and Mark just followed Laura Dern. Thanks for the update. Yeah, it's like just picking it out of a, you know, it's like picking a ticket out of a bowl. Okay. I hope you're enjoying Laura Dern's

tweets, Glenn X and Mark. Congratulations guy. I knew in elementary school. You were picked to be PR today for no reason by Twitter. So anyway, Diko is still new on the show. So he's not sure how much he has to explain stuff to us, just in case we do stupid to understand what's going on in his scene. So he's like setting every single scene up that he's in. Like it's an improv scene. Like the who, what where? He's like, I am Tiko, our father of a son. This weekend, Mom and she are going to look at two colleges. You're my go to. Okay. Thanks, Tiko. he's like and freeze. He gets like a fake doorbell and he's like rubbing a stomach as he walks in. She's like okay, do you go? I get this. You have stomachache. Close. Come on. Me about to give birth to a baby. Me used to have his hair done in the kitchen with his

son. Okay, okay, we can all follow the scene now, Deek. By the way, I just want to also, it's really important for me to derail everything that you're saying, Ronnie, with mentioning what I'm seeing with my own eyeballs in my apartment. I just looked at the window and there is a cat fighting with a hummingbird out there. Just want to set the stage. It's very like that says a lot about this episode. Actually, it's a good sign to get in the hummingbird. This cat's like swatting at the hummingbird.

A hummingbird is just like, you know, I mean, you can't catch a hummingbird. Yeah, the hummingbird's like, you can't catch me. I'm tickle. I know me the house with my son! And my wife goes to look at colleges. Oh, hummingbirds. So then I got a trick. Yeah, I'm turning off my phone because I'm getting a more

lean lock and things and each one's cracking me up. And we're knocking at this, do this if I keep stopping to tell you what Leon's saying now. Sorry, everyone. So we skip over the Tamar's house and she's like power vacuuming. She's got like one of those spusters things. She's got like jet, yeah, a jet pack on her back. And she's like, that's a messed up, bitch. And he's like, I know I'm the Mexican here. Oh my god. Only in Orange County can you still make Mexican vacuuming jokes and nobody

blinks an eye. Yeah, especially because they're probably all voted for Trump. He's like, he's bitch. Don't cross this dream's batch. She's like, you always wanted me to vacuum batch. And he's like, I know I'm a dreamer. I'm a dreamer. Is cut fitness so pressed for customers that they're even trying to like ghosts in there? Like, come on, slimer. Free spin class for slimer is now batch. You know what? You're you may be begging it slimer, but there's no reason to be fat. Even the state puff marshmallow man, exercise class batch. How about you just become the state puff marshmallow one time a day?

Yeah, like what is that? Are you the master batch? Oh, sorry. I felt like there is a Melissa McCarthy joke in there somewhere, but I was like, no, I will not subject. I love Melissa McCarthy and I will not subject her to Tamara. Hey, you're gonna call batch busters. Be back in two. Um, so Megan, oh, you know, I just realized that when I abbreviate people's names at the top, so I remind myself who's in the sea or label these scenes, it says Megan Kelly.

Now that would make Orange County a good show. Yeah. Megan Kelly just suddenly comes in. Megan Kelly, give me a bat, look, bat. So she does that everybody. She's a reporter. So yeah, it's Megan and Kelly. Guess what?

In a baby's door, of course. And Megan's like, that's a classic color. I'm like, yeah, it's, it's white. Yeah, she goes, this is such a pretty combination of white in this color. I'm like, of course, Kelly, I mean, of course, Megan likes white on white. So exotic. That's classic. Hey, did you see the state puff marshmallow once a day guy in tamarind store? That guy's like so classic colored He keeps selling tires though. It's confusing. No, that's the Michelin man. Oh My assman's gonna audition to be in a tire Is it the oil change guy? No, that's Lydia

Okay, so then of course even in a? No, that's Lydia Okay So then of course even in a baby store. There's a rose gold fucking crap Baby crib to match everybody's iPhone. I really need to stop at the rose gold I need to stop seeing it everywhere my sister is buying everything in her life in rose gold if it's rose gold She'll buy it. I hate those gold matches my iPhone I feel like if you're gonna do gold do gold don't do rose gold. If it's rose gold, she'll buy it. I feel like if you're going to do gold, do gold. Don't do rose gold. Just do it. It just makes me mad that people are matching things to their iPhones. Okay. Yeah. I was always mad that iPhones came

out as rose gold in the first place. I'm like, of all the colors, that's the one. I don't know. I feel like they're better op color options out there. Yeah, maybe not. They probably did their research. She's like, yeah, that crib is $1,745. And Kelly's like, that's the power of shares for you. It's like, the no, that's for you. For me, that's two pairs.

That's much better, Megan. I like that Megan's like the conservative. Yeah, I know. At least my son, and I was like watching the scene. I'm thinking myself, how is Megan not bought a crib yet? You know that she probably bought a crib three months into her pregnancy. You know, she's she's buying everything. But then she actually tells us, uh, spend doesn't have a crib yet because we're

co sleeping. I'm like, that's funny. Because that's what I do on your scenes. Yeah, Ben and I learned how to co-sleep during your scenes team again. Also, it's not called co-sleeping. It's called babying your child so they can never make it on their own in life. Okay. But so she said the baby sleeps next to them, but not on them. Is the baby in the mattress with them or what's the deal with co-sleeping? Co-sleeping is just sleeping with your baby. See, this is a thing. This is why I rolled my eyes.

I don't really care if someone co-sleeps, but I rolled my eyes because I hate the parents in terms. Just say, like that Aspen doesn't have a crib because she's still sleeping in your bed. Like just say that. Like co-parenting is so annoying. It's also a way of labeling really bad habits to sound good. Someone told us, someone told us recently, don't worry, if you guys are over served, we'll find you a ride home. It's totally taking any responsibility away from us instead of just being like, if you

two fucking alcoholics get shit faced again We'll make sure you don't pass out the alley exactly saying it in a nicer term It doesn't or using a nicer term on it doesn't make it any less getting shit faced Well, I think I like the phrase over served because I always feel like it's a wink Like it's like this really polite way of saying your shit face. I think it's hilarious But to me finding a term like co-parenting for something mundane is saying, yeah, the baby's in my bed, it's like, it's unnecessary.

Like, I understand trying to put a positive spin on, oh, you're a mess, oh, you're over served, which is like hilariously euphemistic. But like, why the need to suddenly turn something simple as the baby's sleeping with you or like very close to your bed into like We're a co-parenting into like all of a sudden a formalized process. I come on get out of here Yeah, you sleep in with your baby

Maybe it's fine. It's fine. Just say sleep. I'm sleeping with my baby My baby turned all the cans the same direction I Think it's not for a crib My baby is a crib. Maybe it's a mustache. So Megan, and this was what happened so in Orange County's having a slow season. We're like, but this episode was good. It was good. Co sleeping.

I was totally into this episode. I thought this was a really good episode. I was like, ah, it's getting some life back into it. So Megan, a website or phone and she's like, Oh my God, look at you in Shannon. You're kissing at the Irish bar. Like check it out. It's a full on make out session. And Kelly's like, we're like total Lesbos.

I was like, all right, we've got a Mexican joke followed by a Lesbos comment. And we haven't forgotten into a real scene yet. Way to go, Orange Scanning. You guys look like your co-friending. So Kelly's tells us this story or tells Megan this story. She's like, yeah, did I tell you about Shannon? Last night she texted me, where are you? Where are you? Which is like so nice. And I was like, where are my dunes? And it was like so nice to be included, you know? And then I looked down at her phone and I see this, I see this.

And she pulls up her voice recorder thing, which is a very specific image to see, right? Yeah. There's no, and much, and much Shannon was like, I don't know, testing out the sound on her garage band app to record another David song. Right. She was recording for some reason. Right. Well, I will also say that when you reach a certain age, you are prone to turning on apps without realizing it. And I mean, that both, I mean, both on your phone and in life. Yeah, but that's just pretty specific. Even if it was accident, it's pretty specific. And so she's like, yeah, that's recording.

It's like the audio recorded, the voice recorded thing. And I was like, what did you say? And she goes, nothing, she saw, she put it away. And I should have said something, but it was so nice to be included. And I'll say it like face to face, you know, because I'm so glad I went. Like I ordered french fries when we shared them

and she didn't throw her plate it means screen Like Kelly is legit happy that she's being included which yeah, I think it's cute. That's the cute side of her It is cute. Yeah, and also that Shannon saw her see it and just put it away instead of being like I mean on both parts it's putting it's putting in an effort It's what I'm saying. Both ladies are making an effort. Yeah, they were. They really were. She just put it away quietly and she just.

Now we know there's been a last five minutes this piece. Yeah, but it's so far so good. Yeah, enjoy it while you see it. So then we go over to Peggy's house where it's like Diko and Coco and Gia and Peggy and then so they're all Gia's wants it's gonna be going to New York to check out L.I.M. to see if she wants to go there So the whole family is gathered in the kitchen, which is where they always seem to be around that little kitchen island Coco cracks me up by the way because he's like he's just so like small and adorable He's just adorable little

It's like little koala bear and I, that in like a really cute way. Do you notice that about Coco? It's like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Coco! What is this? How you 60 grand young and mountain New York. Diko is strong in my mind, okay? Get over here. He does talk like that. He's crazy and he doesn't want. He doesn't want his kids. He doesn't want J.E. to move away because he's very attached.

He's like afraid. So um, but Peggy is like, I believe in that trickation. I went to UCLA. I majored in English. I know that may be surprising for some of you. I know for some of you that fact may have come out of how you say, feel the bright. English major. I went to UCLA. Notice that she didn't say graduate. I think she did later, but at first I was like, wait a minute. My major was English.

And then I think I think she just drove to Westwood. And then participated in a parade where she had an English accent. She's a drum major. Diko also went to school, but he had to drop out to support his family. It's like, because you got knocked up. I mean, there's nothing more American than that. Yeah, you're in. You did it. Congratulations. He has half an education, which inspired him to make sports cars that look like Lee and Logan Halloween costume.

We call it this deafening. A lot of cars, Stephanie. And we drive them to Stephanie for all our parties. So she is going through her agenda. She's like, well, first we have to get off the plane and then we're going to go to the school and then there's a cookies and coffee meeting with all the leaders of the school. And then we're going to see what a subway is like. And Peggy's just squinting at her. She's like, oooh, cookie coffee, meeting what? Oh, too much. Why? I don't understand. What is this cookie? Why is it not cocoa? Have we celebrated my new yellow car yet? I designed it.

What is the ribbon-breaking ceremony again in New York? Do they teach you how to put blanket of car? Good job, Peggy! On that school tour, they're going to be like, well, here's the dorms and she'll be like, where's the car? Oh, that's right. You don't have one I do let us celebrate now how do these dorm room work is roommate on black side of room or on white side of room Peggy does this thing where she's looking her lips like they're just totally numb I don't know I don't even know why I'm saying that because I have nothing to follow it up with. But I've noticed that she's always just kind of like my lips.

Oh, my lips are still there. Tell your friends. In Armenia, it's not called Mr. Petito head. It's called Mr. Peggy head. And I have to make sure my lips are still there are toe-times. All right girls, when you are in New York, no crazy shopping okay? There's no room in your bag. She's like, I brought the full bag. He's

he booked it. He buy everything. He spend money on everything and now I can't shop. He's like noise my hair I was like what was that noise Your mother think there's money trees in the backyard where money grows off of it. It's such a hypocrite Every car a million dollar in the garage and I can't shop. Okay Okay, girl. Okay, Felicia Okay girl. Okay, Felicia Little does he know is that I bought plant seeds at the dollar store. So yes, I will have my trees with dollars on them. It is a miracle Miracle grow Don't blame your dollar tree plantation

She is like bath solution. He's like is like, by Felicia, and he's like, Oh, it's Felicia. So over at Kelly's house, she's hanging out with her mom. And she's like, am I the only one who sees that these tomatoes are rotten? Is there nobody else? I mean, these tomatoes are rotten. And why do people keep throwing them at me? Well, Kelly, maybe if you didn't ship your mom off to senior center, she could be on top of the Kelly situation. I mean the tomato situation. I also love the way that Bobby poked her head up from the staircase. I'm telling you she is a meerkat. She is a lady meerkat. She just poked her head up like, huh? Huh? Huh?

She really does. It's like when a cat is taking a nap and then it hears something and it's has just like, but its eyes are still kind of like trying to wake up. She's like I could have sworn I saw hummingbird around here. It's like how was last night? Did you do stuff last night? What did you do? What was it saying? Her earrings just jingling around like she's been riding a mile.

And Kelly's like yeah I have fun until I looked at the phone and then I saw this, I saw this and she shows the same video or voice note recorder thing. She was, what do you think this means? And she goes, ah, she was recording you and no doubt about it. That's a voice recorder thing. No doubt about it, Kelly. This is something we need to have a discussion about because there's no doubt. Taste closed. So then she's the met so the real issue here was actually not Shannon.

The real issue is at the end of the baby store scene, Kelly had told Megan like, yeah, you know, like don't say like I'm gonna talk to Shannon but I don't want to be a whole thing. I'm just gonna talk to her about I I wanna go to her first. Well guess what? Megan went and called up Shannon and then Shannon immediately sent a text like, ah, well, I don't even know how to use a phone. What is a phone?

And it's like last thing, I knew there were a diaries on them and I thought this thing, that this is a calculator that you could talk on. So, it's coming from a can with a string that's running all the way to Shannon's house. I heard that you heard nothing. Can you hear me through this can? They're calling it a smart can. Apparently you can get navigation on this can now.

Also, I can call Kelly only and I can also hold baked beans in here. So so basically Shannon texted her was like, no, I died. Definitely did not do that. I don't even know how to do that. I wouldn't do that. ties because Kelly's like, well, Shannon and I, do you have a history of Shannon possibly trying to set me up? I mean, maybe it was in my head, but maybe she's trying to set me up. And then we get that whole montage of, you know, Shannon trying to set her up. Yeah. And I had no idea you knew those women. That party. The trend is just like completely oblivious to everything. And Kelly's like, okay, okay, but you know, I'll just, you know, pretend that that's all in my head or whatever. But Megan, Jesus. So she calls Megan or she tells her mom, she's like, what the hell? And she's like, well, what she doing there? You know what she's doing? She's trying to serve the pot, Kelly.

I turn the pot. It's like if there's rice, rice pudding being made in there, if you don't stir it, it sticks to the bottom of the pot. She's just trying to save your pots, Kelly. She's stirring it around. Just stirring it. I mean, of course, you're tall. It's not like she's stirring the pot. So the Megan, so then Kelly calls up Megan. And she's like, well, Megan, I was gonna tell her because it was my place to say. It wasn't your place and Megan's like, sorry, I should have let you handle it. Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have said anything. I couldn't help myself by.

Yeah, and she's doing that thing where she's like, I'm a mom. So you can't be bad because I'm a mom, which a lot of new mothers pull, you know, it's like I pull it for things. Like I'm gay, you can't get mad at me. I've suffered, you know, like whenever someone pulls their thing out. So she's posing like while she's cuing at her baby, and the baby's just sitting there on the changing table. She's like, oh, I didn't even remember because I have a baby. Like, I'm co-apologizing. I'm a young mother. Sorry. I'm

apologizing on behalf of me and I've been. You're basically yelling at me right now for breastfeeding in public. So sorry. Sorry that you're a terrible person. Sorry, I tried to call someone when I was like handling a newborn baby. I mean, it's just like a lot for me to call someone. So you're welcome. and when all this like handling a newborn baby, I mean, it's just like a lot for me to call someone. So you're welcome. What? And Megan's like, oh gosh, you know, it's okay. And then Megan goes,

Shannon doesn't even know how to use an iPhone. Okay, now, okay. I do sort of believe that actually. I don't. Who doesn't know how to use an iPhone? I especially a real housewife. Do you know how many times I've had to tell my parents the difference between a text and an IAM and an email?

Your parents don't have almost a million followers on Twitter. Okay. They don't communicate via tweets and passive aggressive Facebook live episodes. No, there's a certain age where using things like Uber and Google Maps just becomes like asking someone to learn Polish when they don't know Polish, you know, and Polish is notoriously hard.

That's why I mention it. A lot of consonants. So we get another brilliant editor creation in the next scene because Last week we had the tennis ball techno and this week we have some old dude on the beach with a metal detector going It's like a thermon interlude. Yeah, they're like the sounds of Orange County the sounds of Orange County. That sounds available as a CD this month. If you listen closely, you can hear a Seagull choke you down on a plastic ring. Don't give many ideas.

You can hear the sound of dreams evaporating from O.C. Angels. So Megan and Vicki meet up for lunch and Vicki's like, oh, hi, hi, hi, hi, lunch, lunch. Oh, how's the baby? It's that's right. Is it? You see how it goes so fast now? You understand now because you're a bad guy. And the waitress comes over and is like, um, can I recommend the tomato tower? Like, what are they serving down in our county? Tomato, tomato tower. And is this a siege? Is this? Now, I've been watching I'm telling you, these people are getting very theatrical. They're linking scenes together with shit like metal detectors Tomatoes what's a tomato tower? Honestly, please Lies tomatoes. Didn't you hear the description? She's like it's tomatoes and they're stacked up

Artfully with a balsamic glaze Like slices of mozzarella in between probably you probably and it's you pick made from Adirondak trees in the rain for you. Okay, it's to me. It's our our talk and it's one of the two towers made out tomatoes. A tree is going to come around and throw things at it. Make it a distance to me to his back is she's a brother. It's totally different now, right? Beckett. Look, I'm talking to you. Look, I'm having less just becky because we're both brothers that you get me get you get that fight for last year, right?

We're having an architectural appetizer in honor of you. Co-sleeping. No, no, go to me. Don't towering. He needs some crib insurance. So Megan's like, yeah, it's crazy having a baby. My friend says the days are long, but the years are fast. Vicki's like, oh, wow. I don't know what that needs, but that was, isn't that like a lyric? Isn't that a lyric from that Dan Vogelman song and other old things on? Maybe not.

Um, now I have to Google it. Cause now, you know, it was like, I have to know, I don't think it is. It's a cool inspiration. No, no, it's not. That's like a song that brings a tear to my eye every Christmas. They play it a Christmas time. It's a quote by Gretchen Rubin. Okay. Great. Everybody. Okay. She's like my friend. Gretchen Rubin. How dare you? I'm sorry that I introduced Dan Vogelman into this. It's not the time of the place. But hey, we do have her.

He does it into it now. Even though it's a good thing. Here's my book about child wearing. The days are long, however, years are short. The days are long, however, tubba wabba is fat, man. Long days journey into a tomato tower! Some begging for... I love you, Dressalba! No, Gretchen, that's the wrong tower.

Gretchen would not know who Dressalba is, okay, let's raise it. Let's raise it! Let's face it. Idaress, Iress Elbow made a great movie called The Dark Tomato Tower. Kai. So Vicky's like, oh, here we are at lunch, two bobs. And Megan's like, yeah, so let's catch up.

You said you will apologize, but they haven't. You made yourself sound like a victim the other day at that party. And Vicky's like, oh yeah, because I am a victim. Okay, I'm a victim the other day at that party and because like oh yeah because I am a victim Okay, I'm a victim it hurts Yeah, Megan you just you to let her walk right into that you just you just gave her the platform you sound like a victim I am I am Could you please show me some evidence?

By the way, did you get I instead of got chills from excitement when she said all right I think it's time for Megan K. Gadman's private investigator to make come back. I was like, yes, yes, yes. Meg lock. Just this headband. But she wasn't wearing a headband. So I'm like, you know what, you need to keep it together. You can't have a TV show about solving crimes.

And you don't have a consistent costume. You need to be wearing a Justice headband in every investigation or you're gonna get canceled early, Megan. Now, I've actually been like a defender of Vicki because I don't know, I just... Sometimes I can be a Vicki apologist, but even like, she's really trying me now, because she's like, I'm not a scammer.

You know, a scammer benefits. I never benefited. I didn't get a casserole. Like Vicki, it's not about, just because you didn't benefit, doesn't mean you're not a scammer. It just means you're a bad scammer. Yes. And you were in partnership with a bad scammer. I mean, if anybody got to benefit, it was Brooks.

He got a whole new set of porcelain toilet bowl teeth. Yeah. And you poured imaging. They got great publicity. And she's like, yes, you did. and a lot of people are going to be able to get a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a

little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a You know, it was really hard because it took a year to get over it to fight Steve. You know, I would never do that to Tabra.

Make it so hard for her that it took her a year to fight someone else. I would never do that to Tabra. And she goes, you perpetrated a rumor that Eddie's gay. She goes, I don't know what perpetuation means, but I said it private. Have you ever heard the same rumor? And who has it? I mean, look at the guy. Look at the guy, okay?

By the way, it's not a crazy thing to take a year to find a new love of your life. If anything, that's like a really accelerated timetable. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app.

That's right. That's right. Not any time at all. Vicki's acting like every husband she ever had was murdered. It's like you dumped one. You dumped another because the cancer rumors were getting too bad. And then it took another one, another year or a few to just find someone to spill some salsa on. Like we're not going to cry, Vicki, okay? Vicki, there's like, there's publicly documented footage of

you peeing on a bed in Mexico. I think that's working against you more than anything Tamara has said. And I know that I'm set a lot. It was dive sized. It was dive sized. Uh, so Vicki's like, um, I like it. I'm saying that you heard the rumor and Megan says, well, yeah, but what about Shannon? She's what about her? Well, you told everybody your husband, Peter, and she goes, okay, I should have said that

about Shannon, but there were texts. There were texts that she sent me and she goes, we'll show her the text then. She said, why would I do that? I don't want her to get it. I already hurt Shadad. The whole point is I don't want to do. I don't want to hurt her.

Get you. We'll do it. Do it. Show me the text. Bring it up again. It's like, God, Megan. Okay, Megan is now just starting shit for five. Megan's putting it out.

Megan's actually putting Vicki in a tough situation. Believe it or not, because she's basically baiting Vicki to reveal this information, because like you won't be exonerated unless you reveal the information. But if she reveals the information, she just looks worse and worse and worse, because she's doing everything that everyone says she is. So now Megan is actually put Vicki in a terrible terrible position, which is not like a defensive Vicki, but it's kind of like Megan's throwing some shit up basically.

Well, she's not like this. She's bringing stuff up that was already solved. Shannon said last year in the the the Reen in which they show a clip of later she already said that was a domestic disturbance call it was one time it was because I we both got drunk and we were fighting and he hit himself in the secret room and I tried bursting down the door and you know as one does of course this time she added well I don't know if someone slid me something or what I don't know what happened but suddenly I was just trying to burst through a door. Like someone sent some of slip-shannon, some like date rape drug, but it was like the the uh you turn into King Kong type.

Let's just see what happens if this random lady gets super angry at home. It's like that wreck it, Ralda. I became wreck it, at Ralph. I was like, where's Super Mario? I'm gonna just like burst down that door. And I'm super Mario. I'm gonna wreck him. Turns out if you build a door strongly enough with Legos that are sped out, spread out just the right way, you can knock him down.

It's a very strong door. And turns out I was not wreck at Ralph. I was shanbed or you know We already know that so Megan's just bringing shit up to be an asshole basically And so she goes with that but I show her it she goes it's shitty that you shared it with Kelly Yeah, that was last year Megan come on also when you weren't doing anything come on Megan Yeah, because like yeah, and now I'm gonna share it again. What, I'm gonna be a trouble again. Well, she said, well, yeah. Well, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're I say something, I'm being trouble, she's saying, now I'm already, now the mere fact

that I'm even talking about this with you means that now I'm talking about it again, and now I'm gonna be in trouble again. And that's what I'm saying it was a bad position because now Vicki's like forced to talk about it to sort of try to clear her name. And now all of a sudden, you know, Meg isn't gonna be like,

Well, Vicki was talking about the thing and says she has proof, whatever. So like I actually could really understand Vicki's frustration in that situation, but then again, she also could have just said nothing. So. I just said my own business, Megan, the end, you know. So she's like, I don't want to hurt Shannon.

I really don't want to hurt Shannon. She's like, don't worry, I'll help you. So, Tamara and Shannon at the costume rental store. Yeah. So, uh, Shannon, like, well, this is not a regular costume shop. It's a lot of it is authentic. It's exciting authentic costumes. David, David, have you ever gotten

you an authentic costume, David? David, are you being authentic? David, David. I've invited the ladies to a benefit for a safe place for you. It is in a secret room behind a door that cannot be burst down. I know from experience. I'm really excited to be in this Halloween shop right now.

I'm hoping I could maybe find a replacement tombstone because here, Lydisham door, killed by an inauthentic Halloween costume. Ha! I want to dress like someone from Poison, which is what was slip to me before I tried down, breaking down a door. And the secret. Poison, much like the sugar in the gastropub food that David forced me to eat one time. Poison, I tell you, I'm a time poison. I tell you you're a poison. On my birthday. There is an

inauthentic costume in my relationship corner. So she says, this is a drug queen event, but we're already queens. So we're dressing up like men. Right between these lines, there's a penis in between our legs now. She's like, I'm going to be Brett Michaels because he has diabetes. And these days I feel gigantic and I could die at any moment. Also, I love the way he pronounces diabetes. It's not diabetes like me. It's diabetes like us.

It makes me feel less alone. I like when people arrive diabetes diabetes, like us. It makes me feel less alone. I like when people arrive diabetes with anguettes. Diabetes. So, so then Timmer's like, I get this. And get us also rhymes with babies made of lettuce. I appreciate a photographer that puts a baby in a low calorie treat.

David, David, would you put me in a low calorie treat David? I know lettuce is not like mashed rows, but no, no Where are you going David? So then Tim was like you know, it's funny. It's like I always joke that I'm white rash So this is really hilarious. I'm like yes,, you joke that you're white trash. Got it. Joker. It's like, you got me bad. I'm a Joker. I'm a Joker. I'm a poker, a midnight folker, whatever. Bad. I'm like, here, white trash. Yeah. There's comedy in just, I mean, truth in just. There's comedy in just two said that I'm going in just to sometimes I'm like uh she won

another birthday on uh four wheelers there's truth and batch batch and then she says I'm glad shana and tell the other batches redressing as meant batches that they wouldn't go to the batch and I thought they're there. Why wouldn't they want to

go just because you're dressed like men It's hamburger marries for Christ sake like we're all old enough to have seen drag queens at least once in our lives Yeah, well most of us so then So then all of a sudden it's like ring ring ring ring it's Megan King Edmonds ring ring ring ring who had that phone was that Kelly who had that phone was like ring ring ring ring ring ring ring with all his like justice justice justice justice no

no no no no I'm only buying my baby clothes from justice hmm so yeah she's basically Christian at this point. I've even given her the so she's like, um, hi, I've been dying to call you.

So I met with Vicki and we were talking about that rumor of David beating you and then she said he did she did she said she did he did it's her. Megan, god damn it. And she said it did he did it's her Megan god damn it It's like I've already explained what happened one night. I was slip something I tried to kick Wreck it Ralph and his butt. I don't know what happened. I don't even remember thank god There were no cameras in there because I wouldn't know how to erase the tapes anyway. What do I know? How did I answer this phone? I know is that one day big star fell out of a block and I put it on and like tropical music started playing

and I started flashing and everything I hit just died. It's crazy, I was invincible. Megan, am I really talking to you? I don't see a cord on this phone. How is this working? How is this wallet talking to me right now? Oh my goodness. I like that Megan was like after Megan left her lunch with

Vicki, she's like, because like, you're not going to go tell Shanosh. Like, well, I don't think about it. I don't think about it. And it's like, you know, a nexine immediately like, oh, I got to tell you what Vicki did. We just had it tomato tower. Also. Oh, it sounds a low calorie and lovely. So you trying to shame me right now, Megan? Megan, judge. Megan says, I said, if you have text, show me the texts. And she goes, well, they fake medical records. So if they have texts, I don't even want to see them,

because they're probably faked. And she goes, well, thank you for being a good friend, Megan King Edwards, who now realizes that I start charities. And he's like, yeah, it's not hard being a good friend, Megan King Edwards, who now realizes that I start charities. And he was like, yeah, it's not hard being a good friend. It's not hard, okay? Patting myself on the back, Bob. Yeah, who are you being a good friend to? Fucking nobody.

You're just like walking in and wrecking everybody and making everybody look like an asshole and then hanging up, Megan. Judges. And Tamer goes, if she had tax, she would show him already, but there may be some truths about that actually. She goes, you know what?

Vicka can suck my balls. Yeah, I was just pretending to be right. Trash, I got that. Yeah, it's got a glommas. So now it's like, we go to commercial, we come back, Tamer shows up at now. It's like the day of the drag, drag thing back Tamer shows up at now. It's like the day of the drag Drag thing and Tamer shows up to Shannon's basically looking like a full-on lesbian

Lesbo is Kelly would say. Yeah, she's just like a lady in jeans and she's like Shannon be door the whore Little bitch little trailer park honey And she's like I was like, ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Bad jeans! I love that Valentin! Ha! Ha!

Ha! I'm so happy with this bingo! What is his name? Oh! David! David? David? Is it a spingo? David? Where's his name? Oh, David. David. It was bingo. Was name old David?

David. Tamara's like, the girls are going to shit their pants. I love costumes. And it shows Tamara, you know, putting on costumes or whatever. And so I get the other girls now, we're men, they're not going to show up. And then of course, she's right.

Because Lydia shows up with Kelly. And she's like, I don up with Kelly and she's like Like are those like mutually exclusive can't you be a strong Christian and do drag? Or be a round drag I should say yeah, it's the one who's married to a very gay acting guy. That's always confused about gayness. He's like, I'm like, your mom, Judy is dressed like a drag queen at all times. And that's the best part about her.

Your mom has like 12 T.R.s. And you're confused about drag. Your mom, your mom, she stole her act from Reptailer and you're confused about drag Your first friend on this show was Alexis Bolino and you're confused about drag Tamra's party in Mexico where the bus boys were in jock straps like fucking their ears Lydia, I think it's time you get off our rainbow now Don't be talking like that don't you can't be claiming the rainbow Lydia, okay?

Don't be reappropriating the rainbow, okay? Repropriated the rainbow in the first place from children's stories now you're Proprating it back. Okay, we can just keep handing the rainbow around in a circle. If you're going to be calling the shots and who gets to stay on the rainbow, you got to play by the rainbow rules. Okay, if you're on the rainbow, you got to be down the drag. Yeah, you got to be okay with everything gay and also skittles. Yeah, also you're on Bravo by the way also Care Bears So they could Lydia gets into Trace Lydia's drag outfit. I described it as Joel Gray auditioning for Alice in Wonderland Which was close because she said lies in Manelli Which is also from capoeir and Charlie Chaplin's daughter

Which I think was played by I forget who was played by in the movie, but she was right. Another choice! Sorry. And all that, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. Maybe next time, oh my god, I'll go to church. So Steven Vicki are next. And he's like, come out, I said she's like, be in. Stop talking to be Spanish, okay? What do you expect? Spanish bad stop talking Spanish, okay? He's like, uh,

Wait, what did she say? Well, my Spanish man. Oh yeah, she's like, Steve is a trophy husband. He satisfies me. And he knows I'd deed it a lot. Okay, a couple of times today. A few times. Nothing says why a hot romance like Steve satisfies me. I love Steve's obsession with being a Spanish guy. Which he might be. He might be that you know, he's pretty wide. I mean, that I'll know. I guess past a certain age age we all just start looking the same race, you know. But yeah. But he's like, she goes, you want to know what I'm thinking? He's like, it's trouble when you think. So nice.

That's a good, that's a good like, I think that's sort of the like the mantra of Orange County in general. She's like, what if I what is my divorce? I think that's sort of the mantra of Orange County in general. She's like, what if I what is my divorce and he's like, uh, Brooks back? No. People to stop blaming you for everything. No, uh, tomato tower. Well, yes, but they had that. You want to go on a lake house, you say it every fucking day. OK, I know you want to vote in a lake house again. She's like, yeah, so I was thinking we'd

boat shop as a family. You know, it's 40 to 50 grad. We could order together. And he goes, he looks pissed at first, but then he goes, sure. He's like, I don't care. Yeah. Cheers. We bury me.

Just kidding. Maybe next year. It's too soon down. We bury me. Just kidding. Just maybe next year. It's too soon now. Maybe next month. So then, then she starts talking about an event she's having. I think it's gonna be her birthday party and saying that her friends are gonna be coming. And she's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna loop it up. And she just goes, you take it easy.

He's basically in 1970s to come, dad. Listen you, or 60s. Listen you, Vicki Gunville, Victoria Gunvelson. You take it easy now. Here's your allowance. He's like, I don't even know what that means. This whoop it up. It means you're gonna have fun.

Whoop. Whoop. You're gonna whoop it up. He's like, okay, whatever you say, hon. She's like, I was afraid he'd be boy. But you know, this this we're young and young Yeah, we still waiting it out in other words. Yeah, he is still boring, but well, she's like I was afraid to be boring and they got to her to her saying I like you in that color and he's like what color is it lavender

Thank God. Thank God he proved you wrong. That exciting lavender badanage. She goes, you have that look about you. And he says, that Ricardo Montalban look. What the hell? What is his obsession? The show is a weird today. Fantasy Island. Yeah. And his Alan reference there. So weird place to take it. He's like, come O A. Stas, yo soy Ricardo Montalban. I have a theater in Hollywood. Does that turn you on? So in the band to, uh, what's now they get on?

Yeah, they're getting into a party bus, which is actually a really good time for us to, uh, you know, party buses, seats, seating arrangements, et cetera. It's a great time to talk about the Orbits middle seat selfie promotion. Is it not? Oh, hi, Cal, it's Dewa, Ben. I know. I know.

Why don't you say, I know. I know. Isn't it a good time to do it when I propose it? So as many of you all know, anyone who are on our live show already or was there, Orbits has been a groovy little sponsor of ours recently and they gave away a flight voucher to one of our listeners, which is super awesome. And they have this promotion called the Middleseed Selfie where basically if you're sitting in

the middle seat of something, whether it's on a plane, on a bus, on a park bench, or just, I know, at the DMV or something, take a selfie of yourself and hashtag it, middle seat selfie, sweepstakes, and make sure you're following orbits on Instagram or Twitter, and you could win really cool prizes, like two first class tickets to someplace. You should check their rules, don't rely on what we say about it, but just go check that out. So, in honor of this exciting promotion that they're doing,

we are doing something called, do we have a name for it, middle seat? Middle seat selfie. Middle seat selfie, the crap is middle seat selfie, where we imagine what it must be like to be in the middle seat between two Bravo stars. Yeah, so who do you wanna do today? I don't know, well let's see, last week we did,

we did Real House of New York. On the live show, we did two shannons with a shannon in the middle, a real shannon in the middle. So what show should we move on to today? Let's do the two captains from below deck because that show comes back this week. It comes back Tuesday night, which is when this is actually, it comes back tonight, actually. Okay. Do you want to be captain Sand? Do you're captain Lee? I'll be captain. Well, who do you want to be? I'm sure because I like doing above.

I'll be captain Lee then. Okay. Okay. Wow. Well, look, look here. I'm sorry we don't have much arm room, but you're okay there in the middle. Well, you listen, I don't care about this goddamn guy in the middle seat. What I care about is the fact I'm looking at some guy over there who has his table down and we're still taking off and thick up, put his goddamn seat back up before I get up there and push him on the face.

Well, I'm gonna lead by example and just keep my tray table up. And also, you know what I was thinking? I'd like a drink. So I think I'm gonna lead by example and just keep my tray table up and also you know what I was thinking I'd like a drink so I think I'm gonna go get the drink card and Start taking orders for people just so everyone can see how it's done in a pleasant way So you're saying you're gonna stand up right now while the flight is literally taking off and you're walking in front of us Oh right now oh no safety first. I'll wait I'll wait until the fast and seat belts turn off. And you know what, I see those guys

on strapping themselves from the back there. I'm going to take it and I'm going to say, would you like a diet coke? Hey, you know what, it's your turn to feel weighted on, huh? You know what, I would like a diet coke. I'd like a diet coke and I'd like to be able to look out that window right there, but you know what I see? I see some goddamn dirt stains there. And it's back of the back of the back of the back of the

back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the back of the't you get out of the goddamn seat and help the fly attend. You're gonna do some work around here. It's not a free ride, okay? Because guess what? You know what? If you don't start working around on this plane, you get a one way ticket off display and onto another plane to go somewhere else, okay? All right, I finished it. Put this right behind you next there. To banana shade pillow. I love that banana. Take it out. Take it out. It's a goddamn banana pillow. And you know what I got, Jay Sandee nap. Take a nap and then I'm going to pick up and you know what I got to say Sandy?

That's a marvelous thing you've done there. That's a goddamn marvelous thing you've done there, Sandy. Thank you, all of it's to enter the to enter the sweepstakes and when your own orbits travel, wow, to take a seat in the middle

of a couple of people. Do your middle seat selfie and hashtag it middle seat selfie Yeah, you'll be automatically entered the best pictures the most creative pictures will win a travel voucher from all of it Yeah, thanks orbit thanks for sponsoring our travel. Thanks orbit Yeah, so people who don't deserve sponsored travel Or a banana neck pillow. A fictional banana neck pillow. Embarrassing drag kings on their way to a chain hamburger restaurant in West Hollywood. Yeah, which is basically the entire cast except for Vicki because Vicki's now the outcast.

Literally outcast. Yeah, spelled with the K. It's so trendy. I'm sorry, Miss Jackson. It's so trendy to make me be outcast I'm sorry. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It did not mean to make you powder cry But that is trying to make me bring up those texts again. So I know Shannon think her shit don't stink But a poo poo smell her roses really smell like poo poo poo, okay? Poop poo poo. So Kelly's like, whoa, it's so great to be here. Vicki can't be here and like she didn't want me to come, but I was like, I don't want to be an outcast.

And then it cuts to Vicki going, I don't want to be an outcast. She's like, I've got plans, girl. I've got plans. I don't want to be near Andre D. Dyson. Okay. Sorry. So, uh, get it? It's like, yeah, you know, like, I don't know why she, why Megan has to bring up this stupid shit again. She's like, wow, like, as she called me, I know. I don't know why she brings it up. And Lydia's like, well, Vicki said she just wants to

move on to me. And chairman's like, well, Vicki said she just wants to move on to me. And chairman's like, well, I couldn't record things. I don't know how to do the Facebook. I don't even have a new bear because I don't know how to get the app. No. Do I know how to get a new bird? No. No. I thought a new bird was a potato. I don't know how to work the Facebook. You do Facebook lives every week. So Kelly, she's like, basically they just talk about this Megan shit. Like I don't need to know. Yeah. And Kelly's and Kelly is getting all, she's just getting annoyed at Megan because she feels like Megan is during the pod. She's still like a little, she's still annoyed about the fact that

basically Megan blew up her spot about the stupid Shannon voice recorder thing. And so now she's getting annoyed and it's like digging up feelings about their fight they had in between seasons. So anyway. So now they're walking up to hamburger marries and they're like, didn't, didn't, it's like slow motion while they're bad assly walking up to hamburger marries. Now Roxy Wood, who is one of the drag queen bingo ladies Yeah, so like one of the waitresses. I'm always complaining about complaining about that's always auditioning for something They're like, hi, can I take the order? Would you like to hear this fish off and she's like Com fast you're in the right place with some cock bad shit. Look up. Jesus

You're just trying to be the show. I love the show. They're getting cock based. Okay, it's great. You're like my people. Okay, let's go like pussy cock. Okay, you know what? I made friends with these drag queens in New York.

And I was like, I've never seen a show like this in my life. And they're like, you live in West Hollywood. I mean, they have hamburger marries. Yeah, okay. Is that what you guys all look up to in New York? Like the hamburger marries, Queens screaming cock a lot and making like the most stereotypical jokes, just to make straight people laugh. I mean, come on. Yeah, exactly. You're like, yes.

So they all get out of Megan's there and she's like, oh my God. And, you know, so they're they get there. They're starting to and Megan's there and she's like, Oh my God. And, you know, so they get there, they're starting to get Megan dressed up. She's like pumping, she's pumping while I'm getting into drag. She's like, this is crazy. I never would have thought I'd be pumping while I'm getting dressed like a man

because I'm pumping, because I have a baby. I'm co-pumping. My name is baby maker baby mom mom. This is my drag queen name. My drag queen name is mom. So Tamra has stayed with the whole gay theme and brought her fake ass gay psychic to the event who Tamer tamer we tamer thinks she's so subtle okay last season was it last season of the season before it was two seasons two seasons ago is when Scott came out Scott Cruz came on and he's like I'm getting the sense I don't see cancer in Brooks I don't see oh really because you guys have been on blogs reading these comments and even talking about how you've

Been reading the comments on these blogs the Brooks has been faking cancer and has had three canceled three times I mean that was so obvious when she did that the first time So of course she's like do you want to do some more batch? I don't want to look like a batch on TV again batch I'm Kristen now batch so he shows up and Tim was like see this is my real gay husband Kelly's like I love that but he's like I So when he's getting so scared cuz it's like all right It's already like a double threat because it's a gay and it's a psychic and then when he's like I was a Christian for 13 years. She's like well as was a Christian? She's like, oh my God. A non-Christian gay psychic. I'm gonna turn into a pillar of salt.

Yeah, now it's not only a gay guy who's married. It's a gay guy married to a woman. She's like, oh my God, they're taking over everything. Next, they're gonna want a cake. Yeah, she's like, there's nothing in the Bible about track queens. I just don't feel like, I'm gonna get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to get you to And so is opening up a new magazine in 2017 Scott is the one who called out Brooks from our having cancer and he's like, yeah, I saw theception I saw it and he's like typical people wanted just comma, but I was crushed on So Scott tells Kelly where's Vicki your friends, right? She's like, I wish she was here, but you know, like I had plans. I had plans. Yes, no, you don't you don't wish she was here. There's something going on there. I can't let's Like I've never done anything there in my life in Tamer goes, well, she'll see something to you, bitch.

It's like okay. Now you're psychic. You are you're so transparent. Well, Kelly picked up on it. Kelly was like, I feel like there's an agenda here here with Tamara and her psychic like they're oh, they just brought me here to stir the pot. Stir the pot. The thing with Kelly is that she sees it and she still falls for it every time. That's what makes her fun. Yeah. She just totally sees it. And then she's like a psychic said like so be drunk of throwing something somebody next to.

She's the one who goes down into her basement when she hears a weird noise She's like hello. Is there anyone in here? Oh Serial killer. I knew you'd be down here. No, don't kill me. No, no, I knew you'd be should be like I need you right down here. I don't care if I'm class of serial Bobby's there with the baseball bat to protector Well, you're just during the pot serial killer Oh, well, you're just stirring the pot, serial killer. What? What I tell you, Kelly, if you hear weird noise in the basement, we have a ghost.

You shouldn't go down there. But mom, I didn't think it was a real poltergeist. So over at Diko and Peggy, they're having dinner at that bed. It's dressed like dinosaur hunters. Like what the fuck are they dressed like? They're both wearing a green coat. In our media, we're people.

In our media, we only go to restaurants that have double letters in them, like Peggy and Babet. Babet is great. The two separate double letter. Babetata. We would go to it if it was called BBTT. BBTT. BBTT. So it's like, why are you broken up, babe?

It's not good to just leave. It works so hard. I'm like, no, she doesn't. So they fight over, you know, sending the kid away to college when he just wants to be blah, blah, blah. Okay, let's go back to Dracling. She's like, this old could have been solved if you would just do the butterfly

to the way it's recipes are better. She's like, this old could have been solved if you would just do the butterfly to the way to receive a bet that she's like, look, if she can overcome New York, she can overcome taking over the rim dealership. It was around this time that I noticed that Tiko sort of looks like my late grandma Sally. So that was kind of cool. It's like, oh, grandma Sally. I'm sorry. I'm going to college. So the queen is like, I'm gonna smack your ass like this. Bad. Yes. Make it cock. Peanuts. Wait, what? Both because we keep we cut back to the drag queen place. Oh my god. I thought we were still in Peggy and Gico. I was like, what is it?

No, it's like I'm bored. It's like I'm bored. I'm bored in an hour and eight. My. No, it's like I'm bored. It's like I'm bored. I'm in an hour and eight by the college or America or Romania. I just like I just like a dick. My husband reads me. I just like a dick because Tico's whole thing is that he's, you know, he doesn't want the kids to go away and he's like, Hey, I grew up fine and I grew up on a parents that like I've

mattered. I'm like, Tico, you have stars on your collar. You did not grow up fine. There's a problem. You need to go out in the world and know that stars and your collar is wrong So the Now back okay now we'll take you back to bingo. I know you're anxious to move on I'm the the old queen next to the drag queen he's pulling to numbers. He's like, okay We're gonna hit your G spot with a G Okay, it's a B so we're gonna get a bitch ass butt butt Okay, it's an I's we're gonna be like I cock your pussy. I'm like okay

Queens okay, they're like Guinness is hilarious the straight So then there's then there's just Simon in the group and she's like, ha ha ha, we got bingo. I'm so happy. I killed that banana my friend. Read between this banana peel, mofo. And this is my fucking plate of bingo. And as she gets her ass banked by the drag queen yelling cock and you know buttholes or whatever. Lydia's like oh my god this is why p. this is why god made people sacrifice their signs. She literally races into the bathroom to hide away from the the mass sitting all around her. Unfortunately for her there's a condom machine and a disco ball is the lighting. And probably someone passed out next to like their check in a red shoe and pooled their own vomit.

So, and then Janne gets back to the table after being spanked on her on her booty on her tushy on her now red tushy which we saw close up of. She's like, how? So did we order anything to eat? Hey, gangster. Did we order anything to eat or no? Now, what has more calories than nachos or a diet coke? Okay, I'll take the nachos.

So. And so Kelly had only ordered, so she's like, yeah, we ordered. I ordered a turkey burger and like, wow Thanks for ordering for the table. Hey, and they're all mad They're all mad at Kelly for only ordering a turkey burger version that we can split it We can split the turkey burger. No, no So now they're all they're all mad like Kelly when you're a hamburger marries you only do see you wait or one time Yeah, but also in her defense You just got service lamb hamburger marries you only do see you wait or one time yeah but also in her defense slam you just got service slam tambourgum areas will also in her defense she was

doing them a favor by not ordering them food from hand grahammer areas because it's terrible how could you order me out onion rings how could you they all would have been racing to the bathroom vomiting on to Lydia who's carrying next to the toilet and fear. No. And like that's even bridesmaids. So, um, so they're all like Kelly, like this, this whole turkey burger situation starts to make everyone a little chippy and people like, Kelly, are you going to be nice?

Are you going to be nice? Oh, no, that's Scott. Tamara asked the psychic. She's like, it's Kelly going to be nice to me. And he's like, she's got a tri-batch. And then Kelly's like, uh, and then Meg goes, is she gonna be nice to me? And Kelly goes, no, because you're not nice to me. Yeah. Yeah. And to them. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. And she's like, well, you know, I said, I want to do a Q Shannon of recording me first.

And you immediately call Shannon and accuse me. She's like, well, you think I was setting you up? She goes, yes. Yeah, I know they started getting this thing where Kelly's calling Megan a shister and Kelly's saying something else. She's lying. Well, I thought like I thought Megan was my friends.

It everything, I thought you were my friend. I thought we're tight, et cetera. And Megan's like, I thought we were friends until you said my husband was having a 10 year affair when I was seven months pregnant. You can't do that. You already had this discussion at your house. You appalling. She apologized. You made up. You can't just bring it up again because you know, you're wrong. Megan. She's like, I'm the other baby. And I also like how she seems to be more offended by the fact that this was brought up when she was seven months pregnant rather than the fact that Jim might be having an affair. Because Tamara goes, you told her that when she was seven months pregnant.

No, no, you don't do that, Kelly. No, you wait until they either they're either pre-prejudicing your post pregnancypreclancy. Not during. Well, Kelly also was like, she was like, yeah, it was retaliation. It was like, oh, never mind. Do something horrific, Kelly. It's okay. Yeah. And she says, Shannon's like, Kelly, the allegation that your husband is having an allegation

of an affair, of an allegation is the most hurtful thing ever. I'm allegationing it right now! I'm making say it's hurtful to say I was having an affair with my family friend. I have the text. That's re-e-e-e-d-e! Well, if you had the text, why aren't you released at months and months ago? So, um, so then Lydia now is like, Oh my god, it's gayness and psychics and ex-christians and kissing and spanking and now cheating allegations oh my god this is really wearing out me rainbow sparkles get out and Santa is just sitting there going tiff for tat tiff for tat sorry sorry done done tiff for tat tiff for tat so Lydia Lydia races off it was very much like Ramona

circa the first reunion where she had to like step off the stage went to when discussing Alex McCord's new shots. Was that the same season or the next season that Ramona was in her itty bitty bikini? Um, I think it was the first season was when was when Ramona walked off. Yeah. So now, so now Kelly is a now they're fighting over these tax and Kelly. So now, Kelly is now they're fighting over these tax and Kelly. Yeah. Shannon's like, well, she's not a shitster. She's a good friend and Kelly's like, if she's not a shitster, then why is she doing shit right now? And Shannon's like, someday you'll see the role of Vicky plays. Yeah, so Kelly, you know, yeah. So Kelly says, Kelly's like, Kelly is, you know,

annoyed at Megan, like, why didn, you know, annoyed at Megan, like, wide in shoot, like, talk to me, yada yada yada. So then Kelly just calls Megan Thurs. She's like, you know, you're thirsty. You should be home to you care of your baby, a little baby that's home by herself. Right? They're worried about shit like this. That's wrong. That's wrong. And Sam is like, wow, that's wrong. Saying she should be home, taking care of her baby. That's not nice. You can't, every mother is the best mother to try to be. You can't. You can't. She goes,

you can't criticize someone as a mother and kill. He's like, I'm not. I'm like, you just said, you should be home taking care of your baby. This is one of the most, I mean, in nonsensical fight history on real housewives of Orange County, this one is one of the most nonsensical. They just keep jumping to thing and thing, and then you've got that queen psyche in the middle like, yeah, everyone in Tamra hates this being me and Dio. Well, the funny thing, you know, you put these ladies into a costume,

and they always go off every single time. So Megan now just runs into the bath and like, and she's crying and Tamra's like, she's just a batch batch and Megan's like, oh, she's a mom, I'm more rules, so I can't control myself. She's like, she's crying and Tamra's like she's just a batch batch and and Megan's like She's I like I go sleep with her She's criticizing my co-sleeping And then it was like Samara's way to get in everywhere. She's like let me end

Magon that batch did the same thing to me batch. She's like, okay, you can come in like yeah You both have something in common. You both fucking started it. Okay, both of you that are now sitting here like commiserating over how you got fucked over. You are the ones who started it. You, uh, you, uh, so then um, but then it was sort of like sort of bittersweet. I think I just felt for manipulative editing because there's like, it's kind of sad because I stood by Kelly through everything

and I've seen the way she acts. I just didn't think she'd ever do it to me. I was like a montage of Meghan being good friend to Kelly. And then the end, to be fair, to be fair, like Meghan was saying goodbye to everyone and she's like, Pat's Kelly in the arm is like, by Kelly, be good, be good. And Kelly's like, yeah,, be God, be God.

And Kelly's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, but Megan also just fucked her over two times in an episode. And you know what, I never stand up for Kelly in these fights because usually it is Kelly. He's like, fuck you, you pussy. Yeah, your husband's probably sleeping

with the Glove Trotters or whatever. Like she'll say awful things. Like you can't often. Not only Kelly in these fights, but this one, it's like you're Megan, you're an asshole. And then your only defense was to bring up a fight that was already made up over it, that you also started. She was the one who started that text.

We even saw the text where it's like, I heard you were having an affair. And she's like, yeah, so whatever. Exactly. So then Megan like strokes Kelly's arm and then like Crinkles her face and then like walks off like And that's how I imagined she walks off she makes that noise and then And then it was like sad music and just

Just and that was the end of that Yes, that was a very fun episode, so thank you to hamburger marries for all you do for the community. And everybody, we will talk to you next time. Go over to Patreon for that bony, and we will see you tomorrow with Real Housewives with Dillis. Sounds wonderful and exciting.

See you tomorrow, everyone. Bye, everybody. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash

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