Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Going Viral!

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

We're officially in December, and this year, Santa Claus isn't the only one coming to town. COVID-19 has hopped on its evil little sleigh and reached The Real Housewives of Orange County. After weeks of teasing its approach, we have now reached Full Toilet Paper Panic in Newport where Shanon Beador faces her greatest nightmare: no access to her daily meat! For something so serious, it sure is funny watching these ladies brace for our new reality. And I say this as someone who was a pure lunatic in March 2020.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who cares what happens when they're so happy? What happens when they're so happy? It's a problem, you won't cry. It's a problem, you won't cry.

Kids, what happens when they're so much than happy? Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Game Brain Podcast. Go check that out if you love board games as much as I do. And joining me is the wonderful and illustrious Ronnie Carrum. What's going on, Ronnie? Well, hello, Bian.

How are you today? How are you? I'm doing great. I just love an orange county day. Everybody, if you're wondering, where the heck were you guys yesterday for below deck? We've got so many shows right now. Our five shows right now. Well, this week was great British baking show, but from now on, our five shows are going

to be Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Potomac, Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Southern Charm. Those are our five weekly shows. We'll keep talking about below deck. Just catch up on it on whatever episode we happen to be on when we've watched it. And we'll kind of keep up, but you know, that's a new cast starting off a little slowly. So if one had to go to the wayside, we figured it should be that one.

Just for now, just for now. How crazy is it that next week, Bravo will have four different real housewives, Aari? That's sort ofifiably bonkers. I know. And real housewives of Dallas is coming out. They are not going to slow down. OK, they are not going to let Miss Vid Miss COVID slow down our TV watching.

So it will. Got that. But COVID did slow down one thing. Orange County, Orange County is a production, which we find out at the end of this episode. So this episode is like our last Orange County episode before they had to shut everything down and you know go into quarantine. So and it opens up this episode opens up still at the parker and Elizabeth has

just been thrown into the pool. And I was like, how was that to be continued? Her volume, the pool, a weird like we're back, we're right back at the pool, we're still here, okay? Yeah, we're still back at that pool where everybody basically told Elizabeth to shut up about her stupid divorce. They were sick of hearing about it.

Yeah, they were super, super sensitive with Elizabeth and then post her in the pool, okay? So. Elizabeth's been posting some QAnon type stuff on her Instagram that she's been taking down, but like stuff with like the segment of the amendment, the Constitution tour enough and the revolutions about to happen in two days just to watch. It's like a revolution or something. It was something like it was just something QAnonie. And it's

like, Oh, Elizabeth, I had such high hopes hopes for you you came into our lives on the heels of a cabaret show and And this is what you're giving us now. It's not fair. No, no, no, never ever put your hopes in a Bravo person Never haven't we learned that lesson? Okay, the hope is dead. Okay, hope is dead But this is also the episode where I started to where I personally others have found it before but for me personally I started to realize that Elizabeth is just like a hundred percent full of shit. Like, like last episode, I was like, oh, she's a little slippery with her truth. I think she's just sort of like in a weird state. But now I'm like, oh, yeah, I think that she's like probably just a pathological liar.

And we're going to find out more about. As her future as a reality star continues. Yeah, she's very full-time Dana Wilkie, you know? A lot of people has made that comparison, and I think that that is the most app. 25,000, that point is something glasses. I think she's a total jackass, and I like it. Okay. So far, I just have to adjust my expectations,

and then I can be like, yes, I love this. I love that she's giving me a delusion, you know, I just have to adjust a little bit. Yeah, and you're talking about the stuff she was posting. I didn't see the tarot the revolution or tarot the Constitution or whatever. I'm assuming she's talking about voting like we're going to recount and then discover that really Trump had 100% of the votes or whatever the hell's going on. I don't even know. But I did see her say something that she was an ordained minister

and so that she could break the rules for COVID and have like a huge dinner party because that's legal, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, which was super disappointing. Like, it's just... Oh, man. People, oh man, people. There was a lot.

There's a lot of them. It's disappointing as a human, you know. It's like, really? You went all that, like you would rather go to the lengths that become an ordained minister, which admittedly is not very hard, but you would rather do that than, like,

say to yourself, maybe this year, maybe I'll keep my gathering small, just in case, I contribute to a pandemic that is killing people. I don't know. Welcome to me. I don't know, so I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Yeah, so yeah, we're still at the pool and Elizabeth was thrown in and Kelly's like, guys, I have an appointment at a house at 1230.

It's going to roll with me. And Shannon's like, well, because it's a housewives show and we can't all do the same thing, I'm going to take a group hiking and Palm Springs Which sounds like a great idea Who goes hiking in Palm Springs? Nobody you'll die, okay? You will die. I also think it's funny that this is the second season in a row where like Kelly has been all about Historical house tour because last year she went to having Ways House. She's like, look at the cats! There's cats here. They were so, so I mean, we're holding man in the sea. Oh man, the sea next Tuesday. More like it. Oh my God.

If frickin' I were here, the old man in the sea, be more like the old man fucking in the sea because that's all we do in the sea. Yeah. Kelly likes to pretend she's a history major on vacations because whenever she goes to an old house, she's like, I love history. I'm like, it's not George Washington for Christ sake. It's somehow something it'll calm down. So they all get into a van regardless. And Shannon sits down and she's like,

ow, hey, I just, I just bought my tailbone. I think my tailbone has COVID. Ow. This is, are we really gonna hike in this nonsense? And Emily's like, by hike you mean we're gonna eat tacos, right? Well, new hip. Okay, so Gina, Emily and Shannon are in the hiking van

and Kelly, Kelly and Abrae, it's not just any Kelly, it's Kelly and Abrae, which is just a whole different kind of Kelly, because Kelly has put on Ab break to a churris that she's very smart. But it's in Paris. Kelly in architecture history. So she's with Elizabeth and Bronwyn and the other one. Yeah, and they get to this the Freyhouse, and there's like a bell that they have to ring, and so then they of course provide flashbacks of Kelly hitting the gong in Arizona last year

and then this this guy gives like a history of the house like it's a mid-century modern thing and it's built into the cliff and it's natural that's natural and windows and a view and you could look out and there's that sunset the go pop springs you see colors and Yeah, you know, this is a fray house and fray was a modern architect of our time on the history boss he made time but like he made what what our time is because before fray they used to change days every 12 hours like they do in England and fray was like no in America we're doing it every 24 hours stupid I need the sun to come up every day now every other day or tomorrow And then Kelly they're like there. I guess or I get it's like a big mid mid-century modern house big glassy windows And she's there these are some big windows in this thing like if frickin I were in this thing

We could be like huge exhibitionist. I'm like are you really bringing just mid-century modern house into like how much you fuck Rick Like like that was like a stretch like oh Yeah, we fuck so much that if we were in this house like that she just apply their sex life to any scenario Wow this grocery store they get up free samples like if we're gonna over here We'd be like fucking and like the silk milk Yeah, if if if if Costco's like Rick then I'd be taking somebody samples of his dick all the time You'd have to keep refilling the trail So she's like yeah, this guy's from the Frank Wright Lloyd era and then the guy showing them the house is like well

He looked up on the mountain and said I want to be up there. She's like, yeah, I feel like I'm in the Flintstones. They're in history. It's even in the song. We'll go down in history and they did. I love history. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Rudolph the Red Nose Cave, man. And then they just sit around and they try to come up with things to say to each other and it's so funny like well those windows are big Oh my god, it's a mountain Yeah, look at that you can see the sun. Yeah, it's like sun out there's windows and sun Yeah, who had the brilliant idea of just like saying you know what we should do we should go to a We should go to a house in the hills just having to sit and look out and see if they talk about anything We should go to a house and the hills just haven't sit and look out and see if they talk about anything

They don't work out for them. No, so meanwhile Shannon Emily and you know are on their hike and Emily's like, oh, this is people ready Ha, well I walk hills every day and life is an uphill journey for me made more uphill by My ex-husband David Bedore not answering my calls about Gwen and Iris and whether or not He has been going through clubbers games. I walked up a hill called David Bedore for 16 years. Got strong glutes girls. Oh, I need a hike right now. I need purification. I need to get all these taxons out of my body.

It was you flashback of her at the reception where she she's just going That the whole thing about the whole thing about the whole thing about the things is that the David think about the things is David David So Gina's like, what's up with the pool like what was going on in the pool and Emily's like oh more Elizabeth was sending Colley a text about being sad. And what, I don't get it because they've been apart for what? Like six years or something.

Six years? Six years? And so then Emily tells us, when I first met Elizabeth, like we really connected because she's an entrepreneur and I'm I like saying the word entrepreneur And then we see a flashback of Elizabeth saying I have the largest music video collection in the world besides Vimeo and YouTube I have all the music videos and I just sold the rights to a very large mobile carrier So for always for everyone and then for sure. Cheers to Quickets ladies. Cheers to cricket. And then Emily says, but Elizabeth is, I built the Elizabeth I see now is emotional and doesn't

make any sense. I don't know who this chick is. I'm like, well, you know, you can be an entrepreneur and emotional. Yes. People with businesses also cry sometimes. Okay. This cast is, they're so hypocritical with her. It's like oh my god This lady crying about her divorce. Okay. We listened to Kelly Sob about her divorce Shannon who will still sob about her divorce like literally just sobbed in the last episode about her divorce Yes, like Emily sobbing about how she's gonna get divorced all through last year and the year before Gina sobbing about her divorce. Bronwyn sobbing about, you know, her marriage, like, shut up, you guys. She's give them you ticket. I guess because her sobbing doesn't make as much sense or it just seems like easily avoidable sobbing. But, um, uh, so we learned that Burnt had asked, uh, had asked

Elizabeth to marry him. And then she found out that he was already married, but then like a week ago She said She said that like he was like the one Elizabeth said that when she met Berne He was going to a divorce so like her stories just never add up Which is why I think they don't really have any tolerance for her sobbing because it always seems like what she's saying is not true So Shannon's like well, they said they were together for 20 years, but then she said they were together for five years. Oh, uh, and is really at her relationship with Jimmy. I mean, she's so she loves Jimmy, but then she's crying over this guy all the time and sending him tags saying that she still loves him. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Stones in the shape of a heart.

It's like the most basic like stone, someone like arranged some stones in the shape of a heart. It's like the most basic, like someone like arranged some stones in the shape of a heart engine is like, oh my god. That's so cute. Let's do Keva. Yeah. So then Kelly, then we go back and Kelly goes, oh, I just want to give you a heads up. Emily and Gina think that you're not showing the whole story about all your stuff, you know, and everyone thinks you're really annoying, and you're pretty stupid, and if Rick and I were here,

we'd probably be fucking where you're sitting, so. Well, the gag order does not allow me to mention on that word for what I'm getting. I don't want to poke the bear right at this moment, the very, very rich bear, the bear who built a mall house right next to the hotel that was staying out Which just killed me in the heart. It's rich me in the heart And then it goes back to Gina. I'd be like you know, I don't understand why she's like going to donate a Ferrari

The charity when she's like already depreciating at the moment dries off the lat like what's the point of that? Okay, I'm like I think the bigger issue is like why is she donating a Ferrari to charge in the first place? Like, what are you gonna do with the Ferrari? Because then we see the clip earlier of Elizabeth saying, oh, I'm gonna just spend this money on the Ferrari and I'm gonna say, thanks, bitch, I'll take the money and then I'll just draw it, I'll just draw on the side of it like fuck, burn, and then I'll donate it to somebody. I don't think she's gonna donate it. I think she's going to keep the Ferrari. They're taking everything very literally. Yeah, especially because when she said the donate part,

it was very much like, oh, I'm on camera. She's like, and I'm going to dry, I'm going to say, fuck you, and I'm just going to lie it on fire because who needs the Ferrari? And then I'll donate it. Yeah. And they're like, does she buy the Ferrari? And Shannon said that she had told her that she did. And so she's like, you know what? This is how far from reality

this chick is. I'm sure any charity would rather you just write a check. So then it goes back to Kelly and she's like, well, you know, everyone's like very lazy of people being full of crap, you know, I'm sorry, I feel that way. I'm just being you know? It's like, well, I'm sorry, but I feel that way. I'm just being me. I mean, like, listen, I don't care what people think about how much money I have or don't have. I'm just being me. I can't help but being me in ordained minister

who shut it in the high heels of Italy for 25 years to become the seminar student that you see today. And Kelly's like, yeah, but you talk about your money a lot. Well, you know, what I talk about it a lot, because it's all I'm getting out of modern force. That in a couple of 11 o'clock numbers. So I'm telling that's all I'm getting. And Brian will just, you know what,

you should just stop talking about it now. Who are you to fucking tell somebody to stop whining about something, lady? Are you people crazy? Be nice to the new girl as she's like as someone who's been talking about my sobriety and secondly and as someone else who has been talking about fucking with her creepy fiance and secondly we both have to advise you that even you are doing too much. Yeah, and Kelly agrees. It's like, yeah, you should stop talking about it. I'm gonna fuck Rick right now through this window. So Elizabeth's embarrassed.

She's like, oh my gosh, is it annoying? Oh my god. And then she tells us, growing up poor, it was very important for me to be perceived as rich. So I wouldn't be seen as this poor little Mexican girl singing a big spender on a stage for a pain cut while I was that. Actually I was, I'm proud of it, it's on my resume. I had three jobs in high school just so I could drive a nice car. I drove a beautiful geoprism and I said this, this year I was the standard for luxury and then of course

everyone's still made fun of me and I realized I was missed the mark mark on the luxury, but I walked towards it. I walked towards it And then they then we see pictures of like young Elizabeth And I'm like this is a different person, right? This is not all these photos are not of what these are just like random photos. She found it like goodwill and like it producers like that's me that's me I was just 17 year old you can see the year was 1963 and I Had a different face back then, because money changes, yeah. Money changes, yeah. Like Elizabeth, this is Ethel Merman.

And Annie, get your gun. That's exactly right. That's who I am. Try and tell me different. And the thing you can do, I can do butter. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Elizabeth, this prom photo, I think, is just a poster for Aladdin.

Yes, that's right. The theme was Arabian Hodge. Oh, so then we cut back to the girls, and they're both still harping on her. And she's like, I don't even know how Jimmy puts up with this. And they're telling it right to her face. And everyone goes, yeah, if you talk to Jimmy as much about this as you do to us

It's just what I do and he's tried to leave me so many times and then I just start solving and I say don't I need the support Jimmy I need to support. I mean here's what I rank what I need out of you Jimmy I need the support. I need to see you standing quietly in a corner I need to see you walking around in a corner. I need to see you walking around, judging me quietly also, just you being quiet. And then someone down the list is love. And then theoretically, someone down there was actually, but from right now, I just need you to stand in a corner and look at me. And she tells us, I've worked so hard to get where I am now.

And now that I'm here, I don't necessarily want to be here. So what exactly, what did you do when he talking about? What specifically are you talking about? What specifically are you talking about that you've heard so hard for? Was it the flying your 10 closest fake friends to Martha's vineyard? Was that the work?

Yeah. And then we get a call back to that because she's like, well, at least you guys told me how you felt. Because if you did not be concerned that you weren't true friends, I need to hear it now. I need to hear it. As hard as it is for me to hear that I'm annoying. I agree, you're on the right, I agree, Gileci. Gileci, in the first degree of a green.

So then back to the other girls hiking, Gina's like, maybe I should just cut us some slack. To me she's like Bronwyn last year, just uncomfortable in her own skin, and Bronwyn's broken right now, you know? And you could just see it this morning, going to AA, I mean AA's not glamorous, and Shannon's like, oh, you, oh, went to AA. Oh, three of you went to AA. Oh, wow, that's nice, how fun.

What a nice thing to not be in. 52. I start AA beatingBeatings. Okay? What's in here Miss 30 or old? Miss 30 or old? So, I was like, yeah, I liked that way. I feel like we're peeling away the layers of Bronwyn.

And, you know, and it's great. And like, you know, you did like a total 360, which as a reminder to everyone who knows basic geometry, means that you're exactly in the same place where you started because you did a full circle. Anyway, I'm really glad you guys are happy now. Yeah, it's because she got to my heart, all right? And when you get to my heart, my heart is a heart.

Oh my God, it's a heart! You did a heart! Oh my God, I got to someone else's heart. No, I'm in someone else's heart, made of rocks. Come here, come here comes one right now. No, I'm in someone else's want made of walks. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wendry app. So Elizabeth is, are they still talking about the same thing? She's like, well, I'm not talking about Shannon. Oh, so they're talking about how they went out last night after the wedding reception. And Elizabeth's like, yeah, I wanted to go out. I was hammered. And then Shannon just went off on Jimmy. She said, I don't like your opinion. I don't like it Jimmy And I don't know what he did. I mean does she just do that sort of thing. Okay, first of all how was Shannon even walking? Yeah after that scene. Yeah, I'm not even sure and I also like I

Has Jimmy even said enough for someone to say I don't like how you're talking? like I Has Jimmy even said enough for someone to say I don't like how you're talking I feel like someone must have said something like you know what Shannon and Jimmy shut you guys sound like a morning DJ It's Jimmy Shannon in the morning. No, I don't appreciate that. I do not appreciate. I am not a morning DJ I am not I am a woman. I have I have salmon with cream cheese in it Don't like the way you're talking to me, Jimmy. I was not saying anything. Well, I think she was just probably yelling because of the alcohol. And Elizabeth says, well, she needs to stop that

because that's not cool. And Brian will go, yeah, but that's a really hard thing to say to someone. No, it's not. If someone gets so wasted that they start telling off your boyfriend in a bar, I think it's okay to say, you're getting too hammered. Don't fucking yell at my boyfriend in a bar. I think it's okay to say you're getting too hammered. Don't fucking yell at my boyfriend in the bar.

Yeah, exactly. So, Brahman says that she's seeing some problems with Shannon. There's sober Shannon and drinking Shannon. And I know what you're gonna say, Ronny, because your least favorite thing is when someone is like newly sober or newly just lost weight or newly just did this. And now they're the expert on the thing that they just finally started doing, which I agree with, although I actually don't necessarily think that it's from one's

wrong in this case. That being said, I would like Shannon to stay the way she is because I like drunk Shannon. And I think that she is hilariously nutty and neurotic and tragic in her drunken state. Yeah, it's just the reaction to it when we're all watching all these other shows that are, like, especially like New York or probably New York is the drinkiest one right, the drunkiest one. But when we watch those and we crack up

and then one person gets sober on another show so everybody else is not caulic. But yeah, I mean, I guess the case could be made that Shannon does have drinking problems but I think that that would be her own storyline. I don't think that, you know, like, from when saying, that's a hard thing to say to somebody. Yeah, that is. And it's even harder to like make that somebody else's storyline for them.

You can also be a bad drunk and not be an alcoholic necessarily. Like you could just be someone who like, like, I mean, well, I don't know. I don't know what the rules of Alcatrazin is. I don't know if it's like when you start drinking, then you can't stop or is it that your ad changes or all of the above. It could be one of those things, but I also think that like, you know,

some people are just bad rocks. And they just like, when they drink, they are just like sloppy or loud and crazy. And Shannon has like a lot of emotions under her surface. So Alcatraz probably not the best for her But it sure is fun to watch Yeah, I don't really know but Shannon did act like that So I give people say something about it then they you were the one doing that as a party and it was hilarious Thank you for the hilarious episode and if you are in trouble. I'm sorry. I laughed at it get well

Okay, get well soon. Get well soon. So, um, batch. No. News report. The coronavirus has now entered a devastating new phase. It is now a global pandemic everywhere except for orange counting. So Gina, so let's have us tennis scene with Gina. So then we just have some. We have some weird scene where Gina goes to play tennis like double date playing tennis with a friend named Tatiana. Yeah, I think we saw Tatiana a little bit last year. This scene was weird. This was like we ran out of footage before production shutdown. So let's throw this random scene in a kind of like Tatiana and Kyle with Gina and Travis and of Tatiana and Kyle with Gina and Travis. And Gina's just like talking, just like, you know, a lot of people don't,

I don't think a lot of my friends have seen New York Gina, okay? So this is what New York Gina is. Kuala, Kuala, okay, that was in Kuala. Kuala, this is hot. Look, it's a hot. I love hot. Oh my God, zero zero's love.

I love love. Oh my God, Kuala. Yeah, this so New York China right now and Then the other little plotline here is that she kept talking about Matt and how the hearings coming up and How you know she there's a mom on one of the kids sports teams that's spreading this rumor that Matt only shows up to look like a good father and Matt only shows up to look like a good father and he's really not. And Jean is like, but he's always there and this woman is so angry and like,

that's not cool if I'd spread that rumor. I mean, Matt's just doing the best he can, okay? Like, little like no one cares. I was like, can we just serve the ball? Like, no one cares about Matt's reputation at Little League, that's off camera. Like, like, has no impact on anything anywhere in the world. Yeah, so then we see Bronwyn go to a therapist and this started off really weird because they

just showed a really steep pathway in like Palm Spring. I don't know where it was, but it was like a really steep hiking pathway and then we went into the therapist's office. It's like, what's it up a hill? It might have been. But apparently there's a lot of hills. I've been walking up hills every single day. Therapists are at the top of the hill.

So Bronwyn is going to have some therapy. And she starts talking about how she's always been anxious and anxious person. And she's been insecure. And she started drinking right before her freshman year of high school because she was anxious. And the first time she drank, she felt like a sigh of relief. And you know, it sort of feels like it's gonna be like a standard therapist scene, but then

things kind of take a really dark turn. Yeah, so she talks about how she had a miscarriage and that was when she first got into like a crazy depression and took Xanax and started drinking. And then it's spiral. Then she went into her closet for five days and just blacked out. She can't even remember the five days. And then she went to the psych ward because she couldn't even hug the kids or be around her family or her kids or stuff.

And the therapist is like, okay, so it sounds like you had a traumatic event and a black out event. She's like, yeah, I don't remember any of that. And then there's a psych ward. Remember I just said that?'s like, yeah, I don't remember any of that. And then there's Sean. I was on the psych ward. Remember I just said that. I said, yeah, it was traumatic. Yeah, because it's like so much info like in one sentence or one paragraph, you know. And so she's like, yeah. And then we've got Sean and Sean's so normal. I mean, he goes to Alan on. I mean, it must be nice for him to just be able to go somewhere and just

have a normal hour and not be forcing a smile the whole time. Yeah. And so, yeah, so basically, yeah, she said that there's this like really drunk, I'm really dark side of her. And yeah, and that they have this codependent relationship and she resents Sean for enabling her, but at the same time, she also takes responsibility for putting them in that position. Yeah, and the therapist's like,

okay, well, this is a process, okay? This is gonna be lots and lots of sessions, okay? Would you like to pay that now? You're gonna be here for 10 years. So are you gonna give me your PayPal, your Venmo, how you wanna do this? Yeah, so then now, it's a... Oh, I'm sorry, I have to say, the therapist also goes,

so what are you gonna do to manage your anxiety in the meantime because you can't live in a bubble forever and problem when it goes, oh, I have a very big house, okay? I have a movie theater, and a gym. I can live in my bubble. I'll be fine. I could live in my bubble for a few days. Yeah, I can't get ready for quarantine.

So it's raining and we're at Casablanca Bridal. And Shannon is there with Sophie because they're shopping for Sophie's deputy-tongue fall. And it's, but they're like looking at wedding dresses. I don't know if that is that. That's what you wear. Deputy-tongue's for wedding dress, basically don't know if that is that what you wear? Debbie Thompson were wedding dress basically. Yeah.

You'll marry society. She's gone to go. We all are hop. So, um, yes, the W. Tom Ball is an entrance for young women into society and it has to be white and not ivory and can't be strapless and I can't have flowers and I can't have that much lacing it and David, why don't you listen to this, David? This is why you would, this is why it didn't work out.

You did not be a, Debbie Tom Ball, David. Oh, by the way, I just found my wedding dress in the garage. No one wants to talk about that. Okay, okay, have fun trying out. That is a pretty dress that I mentioned I found by dress in the garage. My wedding dress. Oh, it's so little I was so thin. Oh, go on, try on your dress.

Oh, have I mentioned I went into the garage. Yeah, when the garage there was that wedding dress. Also, I wasn't a Debbie Ton. I was a surfer chick. I was rebelling against my mother because I felt that she was not a good mother to me. And so I missed out on this experience of being a Debbie Ton, and even though that was my choice to be a surfer,

I do have to say I reserved some blame for my mother who pushed me down that route and I was not a debutant and furthermore there is a wedding dress in the garage. So if we'd like to address that, you can do that. But you're at grandma where Debbie taunts and so if he's like, well, I've always had a very special relationship with my grandmother and my aunt probably because they were debutants. So maybe one day I'll have a daughter that's a debutant. Yeah. Um, so uh, so the chat, she's like, well, what if they postpone the ball because of the coronavirus? What if that happens? And so it's like, probably, and my whole senior year is just sort of sucks right now. Well, I know one thing that makes sure you up. It's called a wedding dress in a box in the garage.

that mature you up, it's called a winning dress in a boxing garage. So Bronwyn takes Jacob to like a Sephora store, like a makeup store or something. And she just walks in, she's like, hi, makeup lady, my son's doing drag. Oh, he has a zit. So like cover over that. What's that mean, Jacob? Sometimes I say things bluntly. Yeah. And it's just like a scene where Jacob is getting his makeup done is He's really excited and Brawman's like saying how like if it'd been a different school, she would be worried that like it might be dangerous for him and how like all her life people told her to be like smaller in quieter,

et cetera, and like she's just happy that her son is like being authentically himself. And the entire time I'm just like looking at that like contour line around his jaw line and I'm like, make a lady, are you gonna blend that or not? This is driving me nuts. That is some Catherine style makeup. Yeah, I was like, this is not right, this pork kid deserves to have better blending. Yeah, so then we go to curl fitness. Elizabeth is going to the gym and she meets her new trainer, Cassie. Oh, Cassie, I'm a little bit far right. I could you hold my little weave a trawl and bag back here I don't mean to mention the brand is just like I'm wearing some right to style

Hey Cassie, here's a new slash. I just lost 30 pounds Yeah, I'm going through a very nasty divorce and I gained a bunch of weight and I lost myself And I want to gain myself and my body back So here's what I'm telling myself every time I lose a pound I'm shutting the divorce and every time I gain a pound. I'm gaining some inspiration because that's pounds of money Money dollar bands. I want to get rid of the husband I want to be weighed down with dollar bags Casit dollar bags. Oh, by the way can't do push-ups. I've got implants

I was told if you do push-ups your your tits yeah, I feel comfortable. I bought them. I have actually the world's largest library of treadmills. Yeah, I just showed it to president, president, Archen Howard's estate. Yes, that's right. They want all the treadmills not just showed them, guys. Yeah, I'm just asking if you feel comfortable going on a treadmill. Oh yeah, I feel comfortable. I bought them. I have actually the world's largest library of treadmills.

Yeah, I just showed it to president president Archen Howard's estate. Yes, that's right. They want all the treadmills on your shoulder, guys. Well, thanks for everything. Cas, now, or if you're skinny or you're fired. Okay, I'm calling my mom. Now, I'm mom. Mom, guess what? I'm going through ups and going through downs. I'm having good days. I'm having bad days. You know, what mentally, maybe I'll be happier because I just exercise except for the implants. Don't worry. Oh, I found out the ladies think I'm annoying for talking about my divorce too much But all they do is talk about themselves all day long mom are you there? I would lay you on the end of the phone anything

Mama let me tell you something these girls are there saying I'm annoying but I'm the one who understands They're all annoying crap. Let me tell you something next time some let one of these ladies says and on them by Ferrari and drive it off the cliff and then donate the Rectic charity scrap mail and their mom's like listen, they're not gonna understand Your divorce all right cuz you're in the 1% and how many people understand the 1% Nobody nobody honey That's Rache that's Rache when I tried to pitch my one woman show of Fatal Attraction. I said, this show was into 1%.

And you got to all stage it. I got bunnies all over real bunnies. It'll be a real death. You'll feel it in the audience. And everyone says, no. Well, I guess what I say, yes, to dead bunny death. All right, mom, gotta go. Quick.

I was like, got this one in the music casting. Jeez. She literally was like, OK, bye. That was her whole scene. It's like just yeah, she literally was like, okay, Bob. That was her whole scene. It's like just Elizabeth walking into places and talking at people and then either leaving her hanging up on them. Yeah.

And then we go to Archie, the dog, who clearly just had a conversation with Elizabeth because he's trying to scratch his face and look for her. Archie's just begging his head on the counter. Yeah. And Shannon's with her daughters. And she's like, well, I don't know if you guys heard this. It was just on CNN. Apparently, my wedding dress is in the garage.

So talk about a pandemic. I was dying. This is so fucking Shannon. Is anyone going to ask me about my wedding dress and the garage? So Sophie is like, well, I guess Adeland should put it on because she's skinny like you were, which is basically all she had been needed, you know? So she starts talking about how the divorce was so hard, but then she has three beautiful children and she wouldn't change that for anything. And so one of the kids is like, well, listen, this virus thing, everybody's doing a stay at home thing,

but we still want to go to dads on Sunday. But then if it's like, you can't leave your house, then we'll come back here and we'll shut down with you. No, no, no, listen, that's not fair because, you know, they're going to clippers games and they're having all this fun, they're all this stuff and, you know, it seems like you're making a lot of proclamations for someone who thought that my, what Aranol was, unfun! Okay, I'll tell you what's unfun. Coronavirus from your father, you're staying here busy. Yeah, and they're like, Mom, don't worry. The game's for canceled.

We're just gonna stay home. And then she comes, the kid comes out in the wedding dress. And she's like, oh, it's big on you. It's big on you in the waist area. So even at my thinnest, I'm still better than you. This feels great. Thanks a lot, Edline. Thanks, thanks for...

...noting that. So then, John comes and goes, What's going on? And, Shens, like, well, I just want everyone, the audience, to know that. This big goofball, I love John, but I'm not gonna rush into another marriage. I can't, I won't, I can't, I can't, I won't! I mean, just because my wedding dress just appeared and then garage, does not mean I'm sitting here waiting around for an engagement.

I mean, I'm just like, it's just these things happening. Oh, look, look what I found in the attic. My wedding photos, wow, what a ton. My bouquet, someone's got. Uh, so John has sent his daughter to Costco to do all this something. And he's like, okay, Julius and Costco, and she needs to know what you want.

So, Shannon gets on the phone or FaceTime or something with the daughter. And the daughter's like, well, they're out of a lot of stuff because of the coronavirus. Why, what meat? I need meat. What do they have as far as meat goes? She goes, well, they're out of everything,

but ground beef. She's like, nothing but ground beef. And Shannon has, there's a new wrinkle in the Shannon Bedouard saga of her life, which is she's like, I usually get to meet every single day. Apparently Shannon has a daily meat order that she goes for. Like, she's just like, well, let's see, I woke up, I brushed my teeth. I'd break this time to go get some meat Yes, skipping down the cobblestone path to get her meat in town or whatever What sort of meat will it be today? lamb ground lamb pork chicken

turkey duck salmon I don't know that's meat, but Well, it's gonna be fresh. I'll tell you that's the kind I'm gonna get So then we stay on this meat theme as we go to Gina and Emily in a meat shop. Like all I'm gonna care is about right now is meat.

They get, they are around all the good meat. They're at an Italian market which look delicious. And Gina's just like, I just want swallowing to jazz. I'm like, when I'm back, you're on the Italian market, I feel like I'm back in New York. This is like New York, Gina.

Call it. Call it. I want to meet you. I want to meet. Call it. Hold on. It doesn't feel like New York, Gina. I want the fucking sausage.

Oh, yeah. New York, Gina's back. Yeah. Well, Shannon called me last night, freaking out about the coronavirus. And I was like, well, come on, a virus. And then it was like, well, remember she freaked out about Zika? And then we have like a flashback of Shannon and Jamaica. Yeah, oh my God.

There's Zika, these mosquitoes have Zika. If I die, I won't be able to tell everyone that I just found my wedding dress in the garage. Well, she's upset because the Grand Bronwyn's grandfather is around people with Corona and then oh you mean uh the husband of the grandmother who just came up and like hugged Shannon all over her body she's like oh yeah and she's like freaking out she's like swan hanks got it shutting down the world yeah and then it cuts to Shannon and she's like that's mysterious what what what what all you

what what all did you guys not get? That was on my list. Did you, did you, we talked about the meat, right there. No, let's just confirm there's no meat, no meat, right? And the girls like, well, I'm so proper. Or should I, I'm probably an alcohol, oh, I have to make my own hand sanitizer. And then this, girls, I'm not sure what this is,

but it's for your thymus gland. I guess she has or something. Oh, we need this too. And I'm not sure what this is but it's for your thymus gland a garcius or something Oh, we need this too, and I don't know what this is either, but Sophie. This is a baby wipe. There's no antibacterial baby wipe This is not a busy bee so then Emily is like I mean the other day I went to A playground and there was no one there and there was no one in the parking lot. I felt it just felt so lonely and empty. I felt like being at home was shame. That was my line. I think of Starchasm waiting in the parking lot.

Starchasm is waiting to do. I have to go through a whole quarantine without being able to make my jokes. Yeah. So they're talking about basically, you don't know who to listen to you because at that time, you know, some people are like, oh, it's no big deal. A little past. It's the flu. And some people are like, stay home. You know, no one really knew. And so Emily is like, so what are we supposed to do? If the school shut down, I'm supposed to keep him home with me.

And Gina goes, what do we do with them? What's the point? So now we go over Shannon and she's like, I'm afraid to use the paper towel because we're not going to have any more, like, like, this is out of her movie, you know, like, this is out of, like, remancing this stone, right? That's what that movie was about, right? Where, where a woman goes to find just out the America and get the pandemic and brings it back to the world. She's got the right movie. She's sought like she's crying now and she's crying and her head is poking out above the whole countertop full of all

these medicines and pills and everything that you love from the story. She looks completely loony. If this is peak Shannon, this is like a good Shannon season. Yeah. She is crazy. And she's like, she's like, I, you know, I'm high risk and I don't want to be weak. I don't want to be weak but I do have permanent scarring in my lungs that were caused by infidelity from David and you know, when I breathe I just, I have things get caught and then as a result I have a cuff that shows up I just, I have things get caught and then as a result I have a cuff that shows up.

Here it comes. Oh, yeah, it's like this. This is the cuff. Oh my god, it's every day. Oh, and John's just looking at her like, oh my god. What am I going to be stuck with for the next year? So then sad music is Kelly and packs a box and I'm not really sure stuck with for the next year. So then sad music is Kelly and Paxibox. And I'm not really sure why the music is so sad. And it's because, I don't know how to use this juicer.

How do you do this? So then her friend Lena calls, and she's, and like, her friend calls, so her phone rings, but then her iPad rings. And so Kelly answers her phone. And she's like, it's still ringing on my iPad so weird and so Lena goes has everything with Corona it's a apocalypse here okay the restaurants are closed the business is a close and

Kelly's like no one wants to come in well it's not really that bad here and Crohnidon Marble like we have to cancel ex pro West Nessauks. Yeah. And so, um, and to then, uh, her, her gay's act shows up so she gets off the phone with Lena and he brings the water in. He's like, I guess I'm the delivery driver now. And he basically, like he's, he's like there and she's, she's like, you can't get toilet paper. It's like getting a burger bag. It's like, it's gonna be on a looser soap. Yeah. And Zach talks about how they just hired somebody for the water company, She's like, you can't get toilet paper. It's like getting a burger bag. It's like you have to be on a looser soap bag. Yeah. And Zach talks about how they just hired somebody

for the water company, but they're gonna have to put that on hold. And he's like, you know, I mean, our expenses are 50 grand a month, Kelly. And she's like, oh my god, that's a lot of money. That's a huge risk. I have a daughter going to college. It's like for her future, you know, basically talks

about how this is going to suck financially. And she's like, her future, you know, basically talks about how this is gonna suck financially And she's like my backup plan though is Rick Levin's whole yeah My backup plan is to go on Instagram until everyone that masks don't work that'll really help it So then Shannon calls. Oh great. Shannon the door so she's like hey Did you get me I mean this is freaking crazy. I get my meat every day, so last night I went to get chicken for today, and there was no chicken, and I was like, what?

What? Oh, well let me say something. It's like the apocalypse. I just learned that word from Lena. I love history. Hey, do you have any toilet paper? I'll trade you some positive beverage for toilet paper. This isn't funny, Kelly.

I'm scared. I have a lung condition. And Kelly goes, you're blowing it out of the proportion. It's the flu. But you can get severe pneumonia, and it's a sort of pneumonia that can only be fixed with lots of meat. You have to get your daily meat to save off the personabonia.

Well, yeah, you can get pneumonia because you're compromised. Yeah, she's like, like, no, no, no, no, it blow the batters forward for like old people and babies on you! I don't want to make it about me, but I just want to remind everyone that I did find my wedding dress and I have not gotten my daily meet and I am compromised. Well, of course she wants to make it all about herself.

She is the biggest hyper-conter-ac-on-er. I'm a fighter. That was actually a real cough that was perfectly timed. You're a hyper-conter-ac! So... You're a hyper-adderandex. So... Kelly English. Yes, now we're at Gina's house and she's like oh my god mom

So she's face she's face timing her mom and she's like how's it going mom? Yeah, you know day by day. I've been in my own bubble cookies It's like it's freaky this virus thing scorn rampant. They just closed school for a month My mom and Kelly she said the word apocalypse. I don't even know where she heard that word. She didn't know that word before. I thought it was another flu. Now you can't even get toy the paper on the Amazon, ma.

I was at the Italian food store by spaghetti, all right? I really miss the bowl on this one. What am I gonna wipe my ass with spaghetti, ma? I mean, if they're shutting down the schools, they're serious. That's like, you know, but I have to say the 1700 square face just got a lot smaller. No, not because it's a lot of kids. Just I got a lot of spaghetti.

Like, I don't have a lot of space to have that. Strega no one I know yet. Now I'm living with a boyfriend, six kids, and like 10 pounds of spaghetti, ma. All right. Like, do you know how hard it is to walk over like stacks and stacks of wagon meal pasta just to get to the bathroom It's not easy. It's anxious So then we go over to Bronwyn's house Bronwyn and Sean are in the kitchen with Rowan and Bronwyn is talking about how the schools closed and when they started counseling things

She just thought it was ridiculous, but now and Sean's like, yeah, who knows what's gonna happen and Rowan's kind of freaking out She's like I'm terrified like I'm not just scared of the sickness I'm afraid of old people dying. I'm like then you know running out of food and I won't have a prom And I really wanted to go to prom and Sean's like well, you know, maybe the school can I add stuff later at the year? I'm like stop Sean stop, just stop. I'm like, whoa, whoa. Yeah.

Let's Sean be like, is it my optimism? Yeah, she's like, you know what, you've been doing this for the past two weeks and it's getting annoying now. Okay, you're giving her false hope. Don't give her false hope. Okay. Rowan, this is what's going to happen. Everyone's going to die.

We're all going to die. So enjoy this moment while you can. Yeah, it was, it was a little like, wow, geez lady. I know. She goes, it's a noxious shan. Okay, everything I said that was going to happen two weeks ago is happening. Okay, so stop giving people hope. She has anxiety. And Roman goes and OCD and OCD, Sean. All right. She's, Brawman's like like I'm just happy that I'm sober so I can like, I can take care of Rowan.

I can take care of Rowan by eliminating all hopes of optimism from her life, okay? Four months ago, I would have been drunk, and I've been like, it's okay, we're gonna get through it. But now I'm just like, where fuck's Rowan? Oh, fuck. Yeah. And so she's like, there was Tequila in there,

and I thought I could make it through this, but now I know I'm gonna get bored, and if I get bored, just let's just get rid of it. Let's just get rid of it. So she's like, okay, I'm throwing it away, and it goes full and sealed, so I'm proud of you on that one, and then they dump all the booze,

and she's like, you know, it just, here's the bottle. Here's how it goes. I laugh until this point, okay? And then I drink more and then I start crying. And then by here, I'm asleep. And then by here, I mean, come on, Sean. And by here, I'm a cast member on the Real House Reservoir Orange County, okay?

So then Rowan's saying, how like, oh my God, I'm thinking about all the hospitals and centers and closing and having to let the kids out. And then, Brahma's like, that's your OCD anxiety. You need to stop doing that. You need to stop doing that. I'm like, Brahma with. I think you could let her have like feel some empathy and concern.

Yeah. She's like, come to my AA meeting with me Rowan I mean, it's really sweet. It's not it's not a serious one. It's sweet and Sean's like yeah, it's sweet Yeah, you know, this one's like grandma's yeah, it's just like grandma's and stuff. Yes, yeah It's letting me talk you're both no one is letting me tell my story and Rowan's not even saying anything Like literally I was just like looking and just like what do you want to share Sean? What do you want to statement necklace to a statement? Is that what you want to do?

So then she tells some story about being scared and being bored and making bad choices and they're like Can we talk again? Yeah, I'm like you're terrifying. Okay So then we the screen goes to black and it's like on March 14, 2020, real housewives of Orange County production came to a halt. And then we see the ladies reacting to the news on webcams and the producers, like it might be a month, it might be two months and Shannon's like, well, none of us was put on this earth to be a coronavirus statistic damage.

Now a statistic of looking amazing and address you found in the garage, possibly. Here's a statistic. There's one wedding dress in a box in the garage, and I just found it. It's a little wrinkled, but I just found it. I just found it. So it's a second one.

And that brings us to the end. So coronavirus has officially arrived. It has arrived. We get a midseason trailer. We will see next week how, how it affects not only what we're going to see next week how it affects this show. And just in a few days, we're going to, or tonight, I guess, we're going to see what's a called Southern charm now. we're going to, or tonight, I guess, we're going to see what's a called Southern Charm now. We're going to see our first Southern Charm since pandemic went nuts on that show. So we're new at new era, new time, new world. Yeah, finally, right when you think, God, 2020 is about to end.

Here it is, showing up all over again on your televisions. It's nice to know that we can laugh. It's nice to know that we can laugh about coronavirus, though. That makes me happy. Well, yeah, people don't get mad that we're making jokes and stuff. We literally have to.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And do wear your masks, everyone. It's really, really important. Like, it's really important. And try to really not gather with people that much because it's just like it really, it makes situations really bad even if you think you're being really responsible. It's just like be careful.

I don't know. I just everybody take care of yourselves and be careful out there in the world and we sure love you and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Dana C. Dana Dew. She's not just a sheela.

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