Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Got Milkman?

Episode Date: August 22, 2018

This week on "Real Housewives of Orange County," Shannon milks David for some moolah, and Kelly milks a milkman for... Mexican food? Or something like that. Come check out our recap of the la...test episode! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardity, dowity! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Langenberg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Back in the Slayertailer!
Starting point is 00:00:42 Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson! Susie, going to the Tobin! Hava, Nagila Weber! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master! Give them hell! Miss Noel!
Starting point is 00:01:00 The incredible, edible Matthews sisters! And Lizzie Drucker a fun mother I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, Everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today as usual. It's my trusty, plucky, and happy co-host, Ronnie Carrim, who can also be found on the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, how are you? Are you excited for what is happening to us later this week?
Starting point is 00:02:03 I sure am, but I'm not excited to pack and do responsible things. But right now I'm doing the charging day where it's like every device, because I'm a device lover, I got a Kindle iPad, iPhone, another iPad, a game thing, I've got a million devices, so right now I'm doing that circular charging thing
Starting point is 00:02:24 where I'm just waiting for one to be full and plug it in the next girl. Yeah, I got to a million devices. So right now I'm doing like that circular charging thing where I'm just waiting for one to be full and then plug it in the next girl. Yeah, I got to do my headphones. Thanks for reminding me. Yeah, in case you have no idea what we're talking about, Ron and I are traveling off to West Palm Beach and then to Atlanta later this week to do three live shows. Thursday night we are in Palm Beach, West Palm Beach.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I mean, that's a really matter. I mean, that's a really matter. I mean, that's Inslee. Come on. Where we are, we are going to be recapping the Real House of New York reunion part one. That's airing tomorrow night, by the way. And so we'll be recapping it on Thursday at our live show. Don't miss that. We love recapping Real House as of New York in front of a live crowd. And honestly, this is probably going to be our last time. We'll be able to do it for 2018. And you know, you'll probably be like six or seven more months before we were able to do it again. So come see what will possibly be our final Real House as of New York live recap of the season. And then on Saturday,
Starting point is 00:03:23 we are doing Real House as a Dallas for the early show, which is sold out. And then on Saturday we are doing Real House as a Dallas for the early show which is sold out. And then the late show we are recapping the very first ever episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, what more appropriate way to celebrate our first time ever being in Atlanta and also Ronnie's birthday. So go to watch your crappings.com to get tickets for all those shows. They are going to be a blast, bring a friend, even if they don't watch Bravo, they will have fun. We guarantee it like Men's Warehouse because every show that we've done so far has been amazing. And we always have people that bring people who are like, I don't even watch Bravo. And I had a great time. So what more ever there. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we got to say. Get
Starting point is 00:04:00 over there. Okay. So real housewives of Orange County, A.B.in. A.A., A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A husband from last week and he's like well I'll allow her to apologize and I was like you know this show really knows how to start me off on a hate ball. I know seriously what is this this this fucker? Why does he think he deserves an apology? You know you she was loud she was drunk and then he so he kicked her out of the house and now he wants her to come and grovel and say oh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I was loud in your house get over it. Yeah Yeah, fuck off Shane. Welcome to the divorce bus, because now everybody on the show is gonna be trying to manipulate her into divorcing you, as well as the entire audience.
Starting point is 00:04:52 And I'm actually with it, although thank you for my favorite drug, the hate ball. Snorted it the whole time I watch this show. Yeah. And it made me even more upset because of course I'm a gringo camera, because she has already been on this. And so now I'm confused.
Starting point is 00:05:05 I don't know who I am anymore. You know how it goes. It's hard. Life is hard. He's a dick and he's going to get it all season long and if he thinks he's not going to get it, he's in for a real joke because guess what Simon was on what like seven years ago, eight years ago, it was the last time we actually saw him on this show and we still bag on him. So guess what Shane? You are sealing your own fate. You better switch things up real quickly
Starting point is 00:05:29 And next time when you have a drunk lady who's in the house just walk down the stairs and say hey So sorry Mike is trying to go sleep. Thanks for coming over. Let's do this again another time Okay, don't yell from the balcony. Yeah, don't yell at me Shane Yeah, no, I'm that person at the end of every party. Don't yell at me, be gentle. Make sure I get into my Uber, okay. Yeah, I mean, there are like different ways. And if you didn't want to come downstairs,
Starting point is 00:05:53 cause he was like in his boxers, or he was afraid of being on camera, just like call your wife upstairs, be like, hey, can you get her to leave? You know, like, they're just like so many different ways. Or how about just like, don't do anything at all, because it can't be that bad. Yeah, just do what I do. And how antisocial.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Nothing. Okay. Are you worried about your taxes? Just don't think about it. Yeah. If you have broken teeth, just don't think about it. Okay, it's totally worked for me. I mean, look at me.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I'm happy. Eww. And why did he come downstairs to say hello to people? I mean, talk about like odd behavior. It's just This guy's off. He doesn't want him to see his mom and his sister are downstairs. He doesn't even come down to say hello Yeah So maybe you didn't want to see his mom and love there. I mean you never know. He's not true. Yeah So this we open up with Shannon and a crew from QVC, a, a, a crew, if you will,
Starting point is 00:06:49 getting her ready for her big glamour shot shoot to sell frozen fish with cream cheese in the middle for weight loss. And she's getting some brown eyeshadow put on. And I thought, you know, that's negative. Yeah. It's not the best way to start out in endeavor brown eyeshadow. I was my wrong. I was concerned because her makeup artists had sort of a look herself and I just don't trust makeup artists who have looks like. Yeah, it's just I don't trust that. So I was already like,
Starting point is 00:07:17 I don't know if Shannon is in the right hands, but I think at the end she actually looked pretty good and they wound up taking photos and I thought she looked absolutely lovely in her photos. Yeah, and the Melissa, her look, the Melissa artist that you're talking about, her look is like Disney villain eyebrows, which I often see on the bachelor, where she shaves her eyebrows off and then she draws them up to her hairline, which is a very odd, it's just like a very odd choice. Yeah, it's a strange artistic choice. But it's not a bad choice because I can't tell if she's balding or if she just has like
Starting point is 00:07:56 a tiny forehead. You know, like I'm, right, it confused me so I didn't know how to judge her. And so I say to you, Melissa, good job. Yeah, I was more focused on her on her powder lips and Like you know, there was clearly like a little bit of filler, but then there was like a pink Pink lipstick on it or something with like a shine and I have a thing. I hate shiny lips. I know that's like a thing I mean, I'm a gay man so I hate them. I think you're not a glass kind of a guy I I think gloss is disgusting
Starting point is 00:08:23 Disgusting. Oh, I'm not never new. No, and I, ugh, I think gloss is disgusting. Disgusting. I'm not having that for new. No, and I know, I know most people think actually a glossy lip is attractive. I think it's disgusting. And so like hers is super shiny and super pink and I was just like, I can't look. Yeah, I really get gross.
Starting point is 00:08:40 It's also kind of encouraging people in the wrong way. Like she tells Shannon, oh my my god you have your own thing now It's like a little baby You know one of her babies just called her a pooh to last week ten times So you know maybe say like it's like a pie or I don't know another archie It's a new ladder to climb. Yes a new Archie. It's a new Archie. Yeah, yeah, so the Shannon takes these photos. She's like, huh, well, this is my first ever photo shoot, which is exciting, but like, look how fat I look though. It's like my stomach's just rolling right over.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Ha, ha, but I'm happy. I'm happy, I'm so happy. Oh, she's wearing pants that are too tight. Yeah, I don't think we've all been there. I just weighed myself at the gym, like literally right before this podcast, I sn't think we've all been there. I just weighed myself at the gym. Like literally right before this podcast, I snuck in a little gym session, it's like I was literally about 10 pounds higher than I was. I was expecting, you know, like I knew I'd be a little higher because I went on a
Starting point is 00:09:37 cruise, but I was like, oh, but I've been working out and trying to eat better since I've been back. I was like, I bet it's not too bad. Full on 10 pounds higher than I was expecting. So it wasn't even 10 pounds higher than what I was. It was 10 pounds higher than what I was expecting. Oh God, I can't even weigh myself. I had one of those really pretty glass way or thing scales. And I got really mad before I turned 40
Starting point is 00:10:01 and I was like, fuck this! And I got drunk and I threw it in the bath to have him broke it. Wow. And I thought I was so like I felt so there was like chick flick music playing. I was like I am a woman here me roar. I was like walking down the street like Reese with their spoon. I was all proud of myself like I just got out of an abusive relationship and then I cut
Starting point is 00:10:20 myself next time I went in the shower because I didn't get all the glass and I was like this is the saddest chick flick up her. That is such a dramatic experience that you brought on yourself. Yeah, I hate scales. Like you could have just thrown it out. I could have thrown it out. You could have thrown it out. You could have done like any number of things. No, it was the scale because you know, fuck the scales.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Like you're not my boss. You're not my owner. I don't owe you anything. I'm not apologizing to you. Fuck you, scale. And then so I threw it. And I mean, I really did feel better. Of course, now I can barely get to my toenails, but that's another day. So Shannon's like, I'm no model. Let's be clear. But I was rooting for me bitch How could I Just so she's like she's like well, I never want to get back to that place. I was that place of last year And then they show that I can't be bravo trotted back out that clip of Shannon at the gym all her trainer like makes her like D Rob and he's like oh wow Wow trainer like makes her like D-robe and he's like, oh wow. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Wow. Wow. So I'm on this weight journey with a lot of people. And I'm going to get there because I don't want anyone to say, wow, when I take my top off again. Just as long as that weight journey doesn't take me up a glacier and nice, then again, because that was a little trying, but you know, eh, 40 to 15 megat of pounds. Come go with me. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm house to support her. Be nice, Archie. Archie. Archie's just like, you know, laying 20 Archie loads in the back. So did you notice that Shannon's art was all blurred out? What was that? I did not notice it. I guess the art was like, I will not sign a release. And they're like, okay, art, batch. We'll flare you out. Is it the estate of Pablo Picasso? It was like, wait a second. We are here that we are being shown on the real housewives. We will not prove not even a print of,
Starting point is 00:12:32 yeah, it was all air brushed out. What could have possibly been? I don't know, it looked blue. It looked like the beginning of the center or medium, depending on your age range and what you watch, where they're just like those inkblot things they use in mysteries mm-hmm, I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. Well, Lee's mystery shows. Okay. Alright. They're inkblot art. Oh, and at the end they...
Starting point is 00:12:56 Oh, like a more such? Yeah, okay, and then the end it turns into a either it turns into like Jessica Beale's face. You're like, oh my god, I didn't see that one coming. God, God! What does that say about me? I don't know about this weight loss journey with Jessica Beale. Well, I thought it was just like a splotch of ink. Turns out it's Jessica Beale. Ah!
Starting point is 00:13:20 You're a large gambador. Killed by the illusion of Jessica Beale. That was a sinner. Oh, you're a white shambler. Killed by the illusion of Jessica Biel. Mm-hmm. That was a sinner. So the girls come over and Kelly and Emily are first. And Kelly's like, we're in the same place. We're downsizing, going through divorce, trying to figure out how to make money,
Starting point is 00:13:44 enjoying tacos, to ket out how to make money and join tacos to key toast to lose It's a lattice I'm so proud of Shannon. I am I am my shit my Kelly is turning into shenan's a real problem It's a real problem for me like this is something that keeps me up like why is my Kelly turning into shenan? Well, they're hanging out. So maybe that's why they're getting a little bit of each other's personalities. Tamra is of course still on her little kneescooter.
Starting point is 00:14:12 So she's like peddling around and Shannon. Shannon's like, ah, uh, Tamra, uh, too many. I'm gonna get out of the way. I bet. Yes, please, please. It was like, you know, this is going gonna be in a flashback like three episodes from now I'd be like I feel like Shannon doesn't have room for me anymore. I think we have flashback of Shannon pushing Tamara the way I know a little scooter Yeah, she literally told me to get out of the bad bat
Starting point is 00:14:35 Kelly's like, oh my god, that thing is so much easier than crotchets Kelly is just like amazed by everything. Oh my god, it's a camera You see this It's a camera! You see this? It's a camera! Whoa! I want to touch the camera. Camera? That sounds like camera! So Shannon's like, Well, I'm gonna take one last picture on the coffee table if I don't break it. Coffee table? Are you sure you don't want to be blurred out?
Starting point is 00:15:02 The other pussy art near. Yeah, she says, sure. I sure don't want to be blurred out? Huh, you got their pussy art near. Oh, just... yeah, just so much... I sure don't want your identity. Get's hidden from me! Fat monster! I hit over the counter and her first ever photoshoot, huh? Huh! She's a high-53-years-old and has started a new business.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I'll have to take off. I'm doing it all by myself. Okay, buy me a... Buy Jaloo-D. Buyudi buy everybody buy team of QVC By Bert So so now they also down for you know they serve themselves some lunch and everything they sit down and in terms like hey Have batches. Did you know today as a official blowjob day? Yeah, batch. Oh, I'd like to call it, cheers to that. I'm like, yes, yes, we got it.
Starting point is 00:15:49 You like giving blowjob to Eddie. Of course you would like, you know, nevermind. Let's go try to make some forced joke about cut fitness in Tuesday, but I couldn't get there. Didn't have to will. See you next. So Emily's like, yeah, it's blowjob day in the state
Starting point is 00:16:06 It's like a national state state day and yeah, Timer I said that so Otherwise known as fat Tuesday her house poor Eddie camera. Yeah, okay, so Vicki is with Ali the guy the newest scam artist in Vicki's life Because I do not believe Ali for one second. No, I don't believe a man with that big of a brooch. Uh-uh. Yeah, so we saw him first last season when they first started to franchise out
Starting point is 00:16:34 of Cotto Insurance. And now Vicky and Michael and Ali and Steve and some others, they all showed that I heart radio, I guess for an interview, it's never really clear what she's doing. Is she doing her own little show? Is she just doing a segment? But she's there, and for some reason,
Starting point is 00:16:49 they're all dressing suits. I'm like, you realize this is on radio, right? Like this is, like, why are you dressed so formally? I think she was just reporting a commercial for the insurance company, right? Oh, is that it? I think so, because all she did, she's like, on the approach we need toco-co-financial all over the country, totally a
Starting point is 00:17:08 cake. Um, and, uh, she was just recording a commercial. Yeah, you know, cause I didn't notice that too, cause she's like, if you just get about using all your money and you've worried that man might be in the wall still, then call me because I'm thinking of a certain, I could help you with all sorts of things. Tim insurance, life insurance, car insurance, man insurance, insurance it all works and Michael still loves me unlike Brianna So come with us. It's a family business. Cool the second sure it's the back of your elbow insurance Got it all chapter lips insurance staying out of that insurance. I'm out insurance This is my friend back insurance just my friend back insurance
Starting point is 00:17:42 This is my friend back insurance. This is my friend back insurance. Don't yell at me! Insurance. We could make a plan for the Euros to come. I meant to say years, you're supposed to correct me, but you did. You let me say Euros. So she's like fucking with the sound guy. And you know, sound guys know a fan sound guys.
Starting point is 00:18:00 I mean, they're not listening to this. Do they ever? No. But sound guys aren't known for like their wacky sense of humor. And she's like, Hey, sad guy, do I need my ear plugs? And he's like, well, you don't have to worry him if you don't want to. And she's like, you're supposed to say it's earphones that ear plugs. I mean, what the heck? I could correct me. I miss you. Super. I mean, woohoo.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Good thing I have joke insurance. That's another joke right there. But it circles it on itself because it's a joke about joke insurance. That's another joke right there. But it circles it on itself, because it's a joke about joke insurance. The question is do I really have insurance that joke? I don't know. And another sign that Ali is just there to be on Bravo and not really to make Vicky money. He's there with a whole case of fireball shots.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Yeah, he pulls out some fireball shots. He's like, this will make it easier for you. I'm like, fireball never makes anything easier. I'm sorry. Fireball. He's like, there was a glossy lips for you. I'm like, Fireball never makes anything easier. I'm sorry. You know, the lady trying to sell insurance is gonna get drunk before she drives back to work. Sounds great, guys. Yeah, exactly. So then Vicki, she's listening to her voice
Starting point is 00:18:55 in the headphones and she likes the way it sounds. Her voice sounds, she's like, oh, what? My voice has so sexy now. It sounds like Madame, Madame Gunlesson. Like, I wanna do sex calls right now. I wanna take questions about sex. Like, hey, Madame, my husband, you know what? My voice says so sexy now. It sounds like Madame the Madame Gunlesson. Like, I wanna do sex calls right now. I wanna take questions about sex. Like, hey, I'm Madame my husband. You know what?
Starting point is 00:19:09 Just give me a blowjob and be all better. It's National Blood Dog J, huh? And Elise, like you're something to do. What's your sign? He's Kelly. And then Mike's like, oh, this is normal. And then we get a montage of Vicki embarrassing her scent. And the history of embarrassing Michael.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Yeah. Michael, maybe that time when I came and you were having a party and I was like, what's your mom? I think I was the first ever episode I saw of Real House. So I was just one Vicki surprise Michael and Colorado ended to keg stand like with all his friends. Oh, back in the day, guys, remember. So back over at Shannon's house, Kelly's like, we should do happy hour.
Starting point is 00:19:49 What do I have to have you hour? I need a happy hour. So many happy, so many unhappy hours over there with any badge. You know, my house, Tuesday, get it. Did I do the Tuesday check? I read it. That's happy. Our next Tuesday batch. So the sandwich's like, tonight, speaking of happy, did I tell you guys about my court day?
Starting point is 00:20:12 Oh, wow! What is it, David? David doesn't even have a lawyer. He's representing himself. I mean, what did he say? David, David, David, you need to be educated. I'm California family law. I mean, how could he not do that? Like, am I the one who's doing it wrong? Like, what do I not? David, David, David, you need to be educated on California family law! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Starting point is 00:20:25 I mean, how could he not do that? Like, am I the one who's throwing it wrong? Like, what do I not know? Ha! I'm spiraling. I'm so so glad he didn't have a lawyer. What a fucking idiot. What a idiot. And that's so him. To be so cheap that he won't get a lawyer and then lose everything because he won't get a lawyer. Yeah, to be like cheap and cocky. I mean, what is he thinking? How do you enter into a legal spat and not have a lawyer? Does he think he's like that long island railroad?
Starting point is 00:20:49 Should remember that guy? The guy who opened fire in the long island railroad and then he represented himself in court and he was trying to call President Clinton to the stand as a witness. I was like, that's what you're keeping company with right now, David. What if he did?
Starting point is 00:21:01 He's like, I would like to call President Hillary Clinton to the stand dear. So that's not the president's like, I would like to call President Hillary Clinton to the stand dear. So like, that's not the president's stupid. He would lose the case immediately. Saying those were saying, Hillary Clinton in Orange County, well, like, I'm surprised they wouldn't like burn you at the stake. So anyway, so yeah, so but basically because he's not hiring a lawyer, they can't settle. It's causing like these kings in the process which I just think is so ridiculous. And David is making accusations that Shannon excessively drinks, which is like, I mean, why are you sitting out there like the portion does? Like that's actually a value ad. Yeah, and then everybody's just quiet.
Starting point is 00:21:43 She's like, well, whatever, that's what ever is what I say to that. And I don't know if you noticed, but right behind her head was a bottle of wine. Because she was sitting like right in front of the living room bar. I did not notice that. Oh, so bless you, so. And she's like, well, based on all these texts, I guarantee you, I will never have to talk to him again. Yeah. You've heard Tamer out and Tamer's like, oh, that's God, I can never have to talk to him again. Yeah. You've heard Tamra and Tamra's like, mm-hmm, bad. God, I can't wait to turn on Shannon this season. Batch, you just see it in her little posse-mise.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah, she's excited. She's gonna do it. It's gearing up. I also can't believe David is a dumb. Just keep sending these like vicious, terrible texts to Shannon. I mean, does he not think that's gonna be used against him in a divorce proceeding? Like, what is he thinking?
Starting point is 00:22:24 The guy's an idiot. Well, Jeff Lewis was reading all those texts on his serious show. And then David started writing him, um, nasty texts to read on the show. Like, the guy's an idiot. He's a psychotic twat. Twat. I want to say twat, but I don't feel like that's like a good enough word. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Turd. I don't know why turd is better than twat, but I feel like he's more of a piece word. Yeah. Turd. I don't know why turd is better than toilet. I feel like he's more of a piece of feces. That's what he is. He's just Mr. Furley gone off the rails. David? David. I think it's time to go to commercial.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Do you want to go to commercial, David? David? David. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying
Starting point is 00:23:46 any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder-y-out. So Shannon's like, okay, well my life is over so great. How long did Pokemon I go for? Let's talk about Pokemon I was like, well, well, what was it? Like until basically Shane kicked out Gina. And like, wait, what happened? And she's like, well, basically, Gina was there for a while. She was loud. So she's just like, get out of here. You know, Shane, classic Shane classic Shane and I was like that's not cool batch and Shannon's like did she say F you back?
Starting point is 00:24:29 And I was like no she was respectful and then she tastes it later to apologize so hmm you know had batch no gosh I'll be yelling out of woman batch which is true yeah I'm just like he was having a party in his house. Baaatch. And Emily's like, well, you know, Gina said that she wants to apologize to my husband. And then everybody's just looking around like, yay, we have a new husband, hey. Yeah, they're like, they smell blood of water.
Starting point is 00:24:57 They smell it. They're like the Meg. So, so now we see like a Kellyan Vicki. This, the famous happy hour, the Kellyan wants to do. I want to a happy hour. So now we see like Kelly and Vicki this the famous happy hour that Kelly wants you I want to a happy hour so now it's like the next day and they're gonna do happy hour and Kelly and Vicki For the time beings things seem to be okay, although if you read social media these days Kelly keeps on shading Vicki left and right So clearly things do not last like on that front But they are heading to happy hour on Huntington Beach
Starting point is 00:25:23 Because I don't know how to do Beach F be fair but i don't know what would be going which i don't know why maybe laugh at the going on in the beach because i think it's such a trashy town you know is it yeah well he's got the other ones i mean it looks so pretty to me and in the beach
Starting point is 00:25:38 it's like hunting to be it's i think compared to like a new port or like the others i think i is on the trash year end Oh, they had a whole fight like a few years ago There was a whole all the people from Hun and Beach can get so mad at me now But they had a there was some sort of like surfing competition and there was a riot that ensued and all the Hun and Beach people were Blaming on people from the inland empire who came in to see it and they're like all the inland They were basically saying like all these trash people from out of town and then the Dutchman, the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman,
Starting point is 00:26:06 and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman,
Starting point is 00:26:14 and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman,
Starting point is 00:26:22 and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then the Dutchman, and then'm not saying that about Huntington. No, it's like pretty. It's unbeach. It's a beach and everything. Yeah, that's been everybody hate me. Hey me I'm just saying it's like trashier than Newport or Laguna, etc Headaches so happy happy happy. Oh, this is happy. All right. We're gonna be happy happy hour Like that's what we're gonna do happy happy hour and Kelly's like, yeah, hey, I'm with the shannans and it's nice But not for for 12.5
Starting point is 00:26:47 thousand dollars a month. God. Which is crazy holy crap. Yeah that is crazy. I mean look that that takes way half of the ultimate settlement right there so. Yeah and she's like M was there and she was telling me we love Gina got kicked out. I think it's like Gina got kicked out by the husband. I've got I didn't even know he's there.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Where was he? Where was the husband? So Michael yelled at my guess. I would have gone psycho. And he supported him. Yeah, it's probably whether still married. I'm loving calm. Happy Kelly this season.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I know. Well, I've been loving Kelly just in general for a while now, I think. So I'm like happy when she's, I love it when she's happy. I love it when she's deranged. I actually like it more when she's arranged. But anyway, but she's having a ball. So then we see in another car,
Starting point is 00:27:36 Gina goes to pick up Emily. Emily is at home and the dog is yapping. Emily gives the dog this death look. I don't know if you caught it, but she looks at the dog like she's gonna put it in the meat grinder and it was very funny. She has a very evil look to her Emily when she's not smiling. I feel like Emily looks just looks very sad, like just deeply profoundly sad. And she has that little smile like, hmm, but it's like, listen, we know Gina Kio and we see Gina Kio. And this is clearly Gina Kio 2.0.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Yeah, she'll be showing up in like a pleather dress any day now. Yeah, so Gina's all excited to be going out to happy hour. And she's like, listen, I'm not spending my night out on petty little fucking fight with Emily, okay? I want to drink, okay? So I'm not gonna dwell on this, okay? Where I'm from has taught me that you just want to squash it right away, okay? Yeah squash yet. That's what we doing don't go on shit
Starting point is 00:28:29 That's we don't want to go into a strong group of women who I have their opinions and bring your opinion in there I'm like you've already done that So Emily is like Which is like the last thing you want to hear when you get into a car with someone Just doing my son has pink eyes. I was like passing everything. It's just like yucky. It's like You like please don't touch me. Yeah, you want to give butterfly kisses And then later when Vicki's saying that she's not feeling good Emily's like, well, those shakans I was like, who Emily I like her I like her style. Yeah, so
Starting point is 00:29:03 So they're talking they're having small talk at first and it's like, oh my God, it's so funny, we're getting along so well. Like my friend said, are you getting along well with Gina? And I was like, as soon as I met her and I heard that she had three toddlers, I was like, do we just what best friends now because like Tamra apparently Tamra walked away with this impression that I created a scene
Starting point is 00:29:30 something at your house like when I was saying fuck you and pushing over that chocolate fountain. And then if it's for Tam, leave it to Tamra to exacerbate the situation. Yeah we get a clip of Tamra and her shooting a scene where she's like you have to apologize to her husband and Gina's like, well, I was going to let it go because I didn't want her to be embarrassed by his behavior. She's like, that's not what I heard, Batch. Yeah, Tamara goes, I heard that Gina said that you, I heard that, I'm like, said that you promised you'd tell Shane, you're sorry, and you make a special offering,
Starting point is 00:30:02 and then make them dinner and then take them on a cruise because you felt so sorry batch. I heard you were gonna help me recover this terrible kitchen island that I've felt in plethora. That's an apology to her. BATCH! So, she was like, it was no big deal and Emily's like, well I didn't see it was just she and I you were loud which I mean you even said and then he kicked everyone out. That's what I said Like yeah, but uh he kind of handled it more gracefully So, you know if anyone owes an apology, I feel like it's your husband that owes me an apology Do I want one?
Starting point is 00:30:40 No, I love the idea of Gina like requiring more grace in her life All I need is more grace could have been graceful. Okay Turning again all my I'm just turning her into Ramona now He's a graceful list So Emily is like um an apology. You don't know my husband very well do you? Which am I that's not a good thing. That's not a good thing. Yeah. I married to a total prick You know, yeah, well now I do that's how I know him now and should you snore a big deal? She's it's not I'm like, oh
Starting point is 00:31:15 I love it. I love when reality stars fight about things not being a big deal It's not a big deal. I don't know what we're fighting about it so much and it just like continues to escalate Increased insistence is that it's not a big deal. I don't know what we're fighting about so much. And then just like continues to escalate. That's an increased incisances that it's not a big deal. Yeah. So over with Kelly and Vicki. Vicki's like, so Noah's bet that has been right. Like what is he like a troll the druid bridge? Why does he ever come out? Like what do you have to say is Dave three times? Like what the hell? She's like, no, we just know that she's married. We don't know who he is. He's Mormon. And she's like, oh my God, is it morbid?
Starting point is 00:31:47 Like how does that work? Like if I was morbid, I would bury the other morbid. If I was a morbid, I would bury morbid. Like, first buried to you and I was morbid. I'd want a drink, okay? By the way, technically we're not supposed to say Mormon anymore. As of this weekend, the head of the Mormon church
Starting point is 00:32:06 of a vision from God. This is real. This is real. This happened two days ago. He had like a vision from God and the vision told him not to be that Mormons and the Mormon church no longer be referred to as Mormon, even though that's what's been called since 1830. It should now be called, if Mormons should now be called Latter-day Saints, or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and Mormonism should be referred to as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, well all that stuff. Sorry, that's too long. That's the LDS. Not even supposed to the LDS. Yeah. So just say no. I don't know if you've asked. We will hear to this guy's sudden whim of deciding to change Mormonism after like a hundred,
Starting point is 00:32:55 to almost 200 years. But I love that God's up there thinking of branding. He's like, you know what? It's 2018. It's time to re-brand, OK? I want a longer name that's harder for people to remember. Yeah. That's how we're going to catch on. Yeah. Take the lesson from KFC. They didn't make it longer. They made it shorter. Okay. Yeah. You need to make things easier, not harder, sir. Well, technically Shane is a latter day of saying he is not a Mormon, but you know, if Mormon slips out, you'll have to excuse us.
Starting point is 00:33:22 When they start saying that on Real House West of Orange County, I will change my ways. Okay, I change with my shows, not with newspaper. I don't know if I'm looking for progressive attitudes on Real House House of Orange County, but I support your stance. Thank you, that's so nice. And Kelly's like, yeah, it's hard enough. It's hard enough being married without being married to a church
Starting point is 00:33:44 of Latter-day Josephines. And Vicki's like, yeah, well, you know, like, he does do whiskey, he does do weed. And we come out. I'm like, they don't even gamble. Get the hell out of here. Get the hell out of here, Kelly. No! Get out.
Starting point is 00:33:57 The gamble. Come on. There's a lottery gambling. Yes! That's it. They don't swear either. They don't swear. You know what? That wouldn't work for me.
Starting point is 00:34:05 I would just be like, put your fucking clothes on to start fucking drinking, though. I want to say fuck you and have a cocktail. Bicket. That's more Vicky's scene. So anyway, they then had, they get to their hotel, happy hour thing, and Vicky, the trendsetter orders a hot toddy, and then everyone orders a hot toddy. It's like a thing, hot toddy.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Tamer wheels. That's an elixirir I need to buy it cuz my throat so tamar is shows up she scoots in on her it's just I don't know why it cracks me up it does like seeing those little knees scooters in general doesn't make me laugh but seeing tamar on one makes me laugh very hard because she means like a booster to get on the knees, like she's so tiny, you know. Yeah, I actually, she's got like such handicap privilege suddenly. Like now she's coming into places like, um, that seats really high.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Are those stairs bats? Yeah, okay, they didn't, you didn't lose a leg, lady. You'll be okay. You know, last year on Big Brother, remember there was that contestant Christmas who like hurt her, she tore her something
Starting point is 00:35:05 another and and so she also had to have one of those like scooters and you know the stupid post-production team on Big Brother always loved adding sound effects and they were so stupid and every time she was like she would show up in a scene they added like a squeaky wheel and when she back up they go beep beep beep and I was like was so stupid. And yet what I would give to have those sound effects for Tamara, because that's all I want. Little. You can't. You can't.
Starting point is 00:35:31 You can't. You can't. That's that's that's that's. So Vicki is like, we're Shedded and and Tamara's like, she's always nice, which again, good seeds, just planning the seeds for a breakup.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Yeah, Tamra is just ready to throw Shannon right under that bus. We just crazy seeing it coming like this, but I think they're still friends now in real life. I think so. I'm confused. Yeah, because if Shannon ever gets, if Tamra ever does that to Shannon again,
Starting point is 00:36:03 if Shannon forgives her, I'm not forgiving anybody again. Yeah. I'm like still mad about it. Okay. So Gina's like, what was she in court for? For what? And Tamara's like, well, I've had to deal with a difficult acts. It can be extremely hard to co-parent when you're not on the same page. And so, and Sharon and Shannon's talking about how she's going to be going to this clothes hearing on Friday with David. And she's like, oh, you know, the craziest
Starting point is 00:36:29 thing is that I was at the court today. And I just sort of, I sort of look at David and I felt nothing. I felt, I felt nothing. I wasn't like, ha, and I wasn't like David, David, I'm just like zero, zero to one any feelings. I doubt nothing. Shannon in chorus line. So Tamra's like, it's a lifetime comic, Shannon, he cheated on you. And Shannon's like, well,
Starting point is 00:36:57 him Emily said that if you're feeling a different, that means you're ready to date. Ha ha ha. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm
Starting point is 00:37:10 thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm
Starting point is 00:37:19 thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, April that's yeah, and then we see a little clip what for Tamara is trying to shoot a lot of scenes But they're just cutting them and making the memory scenes. I know Well Bravo does not like their stars to be hobbled like mmm. This is not gonna make good television. She's on a scooter So yeah, this show didn't have a great season last year. We're already kind of limp into the end So you don't actually need to see real limping
Starting point is 00:37:43 So so April so shantama is like oh, well, you know what's that fun? I bet I'm gonna text April and have her come over right now and then you she can match make you hold on Beep boop boop boop boop. I know you're busy right now wing wing. She's downstairs. Okay, can you come over? Great. We're upstairs and oh look you already heard that was so quick. April. Wow. What a great match make a batch Today I was so quick, I brought what a great match make a batch today A dating service I would never use a dating service because you should you should be able to be people in the world I haven't been in a dating arena for 20 years That's what they call it right it's like an arena it's like glad you're right you just go out into the middle of it You're like here I am here I come tear me apart lions
Starting point is 00:38:23 Where the fire lose these my head? Are you not entertained? Mm. April is here with Erica and Emily goes, She looks like she knows what's up. Thanks Emily. So Shannon and Tamara and April and some other lady who I'm assuming is like April's helper. They all go off to the side to talk and and Shannon's like well, you know
Starting point is 00:38:47 What are you thinking a man, you know, so here's the thing. I you know, I was I was always a one guy sort of gal And so I moved around to Ken because I was like I went to it around I'm a divot and I was with him for like 17 years And I was like there were there were high points and there were low points and to embers just like Batch she loves sex. She loves sex. He was a dick and she loves sex, Batch. Huh. Well, wait a boy, down, Tamara. She's like, her husband cheated on her. She moved in, she forgave him and moved in with the woman
Starting point is 00:39:16 and she still took him back. And she sounded like, okay, all that aside, can I just me the man who refuses to eat chips and anger? Yeah. That would be great. Meanwhile, Kelly is like, up a table. Well, so I've been having sex with a milkman. How about that?
Starting point is 00:39:30 What are you having sex with? I have a sex with a milkman. Like a milkman. Look, he goes, yeah, everyone's she's dating. Okay, it's the lawyer, the milkman, the spy doctor. I mean, that of him have names. Like, I don't know. I don't know what she's doing.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what she's doing. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Just give him a blowjob. Just give him a blowjob. He'll be happy.
Starting point is 00:39:52 So, Shannon, back to Shannon. She's like, I'm looking for a partnership. If I'm making quinoa, it would be nice if someone ate some quinoa. All right, I'm not going to just go make out in the bar and do it with somebody. I want a man who, when I have a dinner party for 14 people, he gets more than two bottles of wine! I mean, I don't need sex all the time, but my husband wasn't really much of a sex person. Until he started running on that beach! Do I want a man who appreciates sugar in his gastropub beef?
Starting point is 00:40:25 No. No? No? Do I want a man who knows if there's more calories than a Caesar salad than there is in a filet with French fries covered in cheese? You? Yes. Do I want a man who has never had a chandelier in his foyer?
Starting point is 00:40:43 No. No. when a man who has never had a chandelier in his foyer. Nope, nope. So then let's see. So they go back to the girls, the ladies, so I cook here, we're gonna fix you at bat chicken to get laid. So they go back to the girls and because they keep at, I don't feel 100%, I don't feel 100%,
Starting point is 00:40:59 I better the weather. So I'm gonna, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not gonna go, I gotta go, I gotta go. And then I'm like, oh, I gotta go too not, I'm not, I'm not. I gotta go, I gotta go, and then I'm like, oh, I gotta go too, cause Shane came home early to take care of the kids and he's mad, so I gotta go, mm, which is ridiculous because it's like,
Starting point is 00:41:13 guess what, you're the dad, that's like what you do, okay? It's not only the mom, yeah, like you can do that, it's okay, it's your children. And if you don't, if they're too much, if they're too much for you to handle They're doing it wrong. Sorry. Yeah, there's too much to handle. So one okay There are plenty of gay people who would love to adopt your child and raise it. Yeah, it's called it's called a chair and some rope That's how you handle it
Starting point is 00:41:38 So Tim was like not gonna lie his sounds controlling reminds me of my ex His sounds controlling reminds me of my ex So they leave in time. It's like I have a question last night when I talked to you. I never said Apologizing. What did she say? She's I never said apologizing. Why did I write that? I think Gina? I don't know They started talking about Gina to Gina about the whole situation again, and they're like They were basically saying like yeah like all this stuff that basically that Emily It got a little confusing Emily and what she was talking about it was it wasn't It was that when he yelled he wasn't doing it just at all the women He was doing it directly at Gina, you know, like yeah, I was that and directly at you Gina
Starting point is 00:42:21 And she and then and then she's like well, I didn't do anything that was any appropriate you know I was just there telling it like it is because that's what New York is doing that's what not people in Orange County don't seem to understand it like in New York we just like standing for you until you get kicked out that's just how it goes yeah she goes we talked in the car in my opinion he was throwing everyone out not just me in time we goes um you were the only one left. Shannon goes, you were throwing gaff bombs. Well, I'm sorry. Okay, she said my Ramona.
Starting point is 00:42:49 You're right. It does always get hard to get to. Like she said, sorry, my husband was a dick and he doesn't need to be talked about. And honestly, that's not what happened, but you know, even if it was not, you know, I wouldn't understand if he just said he had to put the kids to bed because we do that and long gone to him too. Like, what what are we gonna let a kid sleep on a roof no we put them to bed yeah yeah no he said I was the worst in the world I was like where's the grace in that I don't get it but you know what though he says it like it is so I sort of
Starting point is 00:43:14 appreciate it and not gonna make a big drama out of it you know so she knows how swizing was so because she says oh he yelled at me like a sniper. Yeah, like a sniper. He was like a sniper from the Belkin games like get this bitch out of here She's cursing so much and I'm Mormon. I mean Latter-day Saint-ish. So I was like, okay And I was like, you'll apologize to me later. I'm sure So Shana's like, well, huh. I have to be honest Yeah, if it had been my husband who had to come home early and put the kids to bed and I would have to come home early quickly otherwise he'd be pissed off. That's just the way it was in my marriage.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Yeah and this is going to become a huge thing it looks like. Where Sandin's like, well I wouldn't want to make David mad either I get it. And they're like, oh my god, Sandin what do you think about David? And he's like well, you just want to be everyone to be happy. It's triggering. Okay. Oh, you know, I could see getting yelled at in cameras. Like, what kind of husband is it? I'm not saying that Shane is David by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just saying that if David did the things that Shane has done,
Starting point is 00:44:20 which is easy to imagine because he has done the things that Shane has done. So basically, Shane is David. I mean, has done the things that she has done so basically shame is David huh I mean I'm not saying that I'm just projecting that that's all you know shame loves juice David love juice I'm not saying he's David it's just who loves juice I mean these guys right so Gina's like I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt so um I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. So, Gina's sort of like not giving them, they want to get all mad, and Gina's actually not really giving it to them, you know,
Starting point is 00:44:51 but you're like, whatever, we're gonna do it anyway. Yeah, and Tamara's like, oh, Susanna, you think she's in a bad marriage? Is that what you're saying? She's like, no, I don't know that! So we know this is gonna be huge, because Tamara's gonna go tell Susanna that she's in a terrible marriage.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yes, exactly. Exactly. So Vicki and Tamara, they're at some doctor, some microplating doctor. And look, if the lady behind the desk can't move her face and her mouth is gaping open with flies coming in and out of it, turn around and go home. Yeah, that's a good idea. So Tamara's getting basically her eyebrows tattooed and she's again talking about the conversation with Shane and he's like, she yelled at Gina, he yelled at her. So now the women are like really fixating on this thing and then you know,
Starting point is 00:45:36 talking about and then she's like, on top of everything else, when I was over there the other night, her kids were basically beating her up, they're like really aggressive. She has a lot to deal with. You know, and so I like, wow. I don't know. I didn't really understand why she was bringing that up, but I'm glad someone mentioned the fact that her children are out of control. Well, let me, G's three little kids, they're all out of control. Because Tamara is Tamara, so she's like, well, one has a terrible marriage, and the other one also has a terrible marriage, and she's a terrible mother. You know, it's just how Tamara rolls. So she's like, she's got her hands full. I could not be imagined being a single mom all week long, bitch. And because like, well, she could have bored. She goes, how can she? Her husband doesn't
Starting point is 00:46:18 even live there. What's the story with that? It's the layout week. It has the private chassis. See that? Batch. Yeah, which is really crazy It's crazy that you know's never been like hey, I'm gonna come up to LA with the kids will do like dinner together something like that's Certifiably bonkers because it's like an hour away, you know like don't you want to see your husband doesn't he wants you the kids? Yeah, Vicki's like if that was me I would have my picture dailed it submitted to every wall of that place, okay, that's horrifying Ah, that's another Vicky picture. I Guess I'm not getting my deposit back Yeah, and now the end so that so basically they're like Vicky and Tamer are just like agreeing that the two new girls are crazy
Starting point is 00:46:58 Like I don't get it. So she's like he has a department up in LA and she's never been to it And then you have Emily and like like she was working with the Shane for three years and then he the moment he got divorced They thought that he has to get married over text like I don't get it. I don't get it Yeah, I'm telling her goes yeah, I'm tax like how can you even see his penis like I mean What if she what if she got married to someone and then she finds out that he's got like three inches Vicky goes Well, you know if he filled my love take I would would care. She goes, well, he went with that. True. True. I actually just really don't want to think about Shane's
Starting point is 00:47:31 penis. Like that's just an issue. Love tank. I would rather think about Vicki's love tank before Shane's penis. Yeah, I don't need either. Yeah. So Kelly goes on a date at some place called Sun Tried Tomato, which I also could be the most horrifying name for anybody in this town, you know, because they're all avoiding age like the plague. And the SunDried Tomato is an old lady tomato.
Starting point is 00:47:52 I just think it's hilarious that someone decided to name their restaurant SunDried Tomato. Like what? What? I mean, you go on the sun, and then you go on a date there. Yeah, we're gonna go and date the SunDried Tomato. Yeah, the SunDried Tomato.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't wanna go to the center like tomato alright the tomato you you take me to the tomato you do that so she goes with her date Frank the milkman as he's called he's wearing short shorts he has actually amazing calves I don't know if you noticed them they were amazing yes that's his defining future I think I think he's. That was his defining future, I think. I think he's cute. I mean, his defining future for me was that he was pulling out his shorts from his, you know,
Starting point is 00:48:31 tape, whatever, for the first five minutes. I feel like, well, obviously this relationship doesn't have a future, but I also feel like, you know, you never want to say that your love story began at the Mayweather McGregor fight. Like, that's not, that's not, no. There's like no upside to that, you know, you never want to say that your love story began at the Mayweather McGregor fight. Like, that's not, that's not, no. There's like no upside to that, you know, like, that's a terrible sign. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:48:53 So she's like, do you like the sundry tomato? And he's like, yeah, it's beautiful. I love that. Love tomatoes, I love, I love the things that's wrong. Yeah. So, The milk man is trying to bring back the nostalgia of the milk man.
Starting point is 00:49:09 So he's like a milk man. He's like really a milk man. Oh. And so they're like sitting there, which by the way, LOL, he must work in Brooklyn. So anyway, so she, I mean, we know, right? I mean, like, I mean,
Starting point is 00:49:22 I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean? I mean, who even drinks milk anymore? Have you tried to buy milk lately? It's like hard to actually find real milk. I mean, I did just buy some milk, yes. But I will say this, like, you know, all his friends probably dress like Mumford and Zones, you know, they all pretend like they're farmers from like 1920s, like reenacting grapes of wrath in Brooklyn. But either way, so Kelly is, I love just how dumb this guy was because they're sitting there and Kelly's like,
Starting point is 00:49:45 what's worked to kill us you have? And he just looks like, what? You're crazy. And then she like gets like a nail and he's like, are you seriously gonna... are you really... Do you kill it? Yeah! Like that's how you do it! That's the end of the plot! You know, yeah
Starting point is 00:50:10 I just love how he was like totally dumbfounded by the idea that she would have to kill her He's dumbfounded by everything he's hilarious and he's looking at the appetizer. She's like what do you want? Do you want? Do you want better? I think I'll have the homemade potato chips, please Like I mean potato chips. They're homemade like how's it possible? We all know they come from ruffles It's funny because I tell everyone you're a milkman because your business is and he goes Milk it's like yeah Right, so he's like how's dating going just like dating while I go on taste with a spine surgeon But he's like 80 80 so he's off my parents. Okay. I'm not here today old I did that already and then we see Michael. Yeah
Starting point is 00:50:51 And Frank and Frank starts like talking about himself. He's like no, I'm a Difficult person to get along with kind of like yourself. I'm like that's not like a value-add Okay, when you say you're difficult to get along with that I hate when people say that in an enigmatic way as if it's supposed to make you like draw you in Like oh, but you're the one person you can get along with me like no fuck you get some social skills Yeah, you're just saying you're a dick. Yeah, but of course Kelly's like I'm difficult But you said it to me straight. So thank you. And he's like yeah yeah, I'll sit straight and they start cracking up. And they start cracking up. Yeah, that's awesome.
Starting point is 00:51:26 Thank you, Mr. Piehead. Oh, it's safe. I mean, somebody like you in my life. And he's like, oh my God, if you don't make a decision about like, you know, taking it down an notch in your life and then it's clips of Kelly just, what is he?
Starting point is 00:51:44 Some more. Yeah. They got life. for more yeah like you're he's like you're gonna be alone your whole life and she's like and then we said she's like tell us like what what I'm not gonna be alone first of all I'm not gonna be I mean hello I mean I'm not gonna be a long me alone you are your alone I'm not alone you're so alone. I'm not alone You're so alone right now. You're watching this alone. I'm alone on TV right now, but they're people who are looking at me But like that alone You know That was priceless that whole thing just her talking to the camera and not being able to form a sentence She's like I'll never be alone. I mean boy. I'm never be alone. I mean, boy, I'm never gonna be alone.
Starting point is 00:52:26 So she goes, I can't believe you ate Mexican three times in Vegas. And he's like, yeah, I love Mexican. I could eat it for a brunch, lunch. I could eat breakfast, Mexican. I could eat lunch, Mexican, I could eat a little Mexican. I could eat chili corn, a tacos, I'm not Mexican. I can't tell you how to call it. Carné! Cocktails!
Starting point is 00:52:46 Sorry, guys. Chacas, Brita. That key tells. Chumichanga's... Wacomolls! What the fuck? Start of... Carnitas!
Starting point is 00:52:59 Sopes. Sour cream. Cartelal! Jumping beans, Mexican jumping beans. Arroz con pollo. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I love your refusal to give up. Do you like shrimp? Whatever, shrimp, or cold. I'm out. Like I literally read my mind.
Starting point is 00:53:34 I'm just getting hungry. I'm hungry. I'm tapping out of this. It's in my business. Where are those wine jarros? Mexican soup. Get anywhere you want. I'm going to go to the gym.
Starting point is 00:53:42 I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to topic out of this one. It's a bit of my business. Where's our wine, Jaros? Mexican soup is anywhere in the world. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Tomatilo Salsa. Our bowl chiles. And she's like, yeah, he's nice and young, but I'm all about the thrills and not about the bills. Well, he's a most man, so there's that. So Shannon wakes up for the day of her divorce proceeding or whatever, her hearing.
Starting point is 00:54:23 That's her alarm clock. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She wakes up Archie's in bed with her Archie's so cute. They're trying to make this like the saddest thing ever. Like, look, Shannon's waking up and it's just with the dog. And she's like, hi, Archie. Okay, Archie. And then they show a close up of like gold drag queen heels in the hallway that she just like kicked off and came to bed. And she's like, oh, you're not going to get down from the bed. You're going to stay here.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Oh, Archie. And she hugs him. And then he's watching her get ready. And she's like, you like this outfit, aren't you? And it's so sad. I'm like, this is like every morning at my house. I feel happy. Yeah, no, are she just staring, just staring at her. Like woof, good luck today. Woof, woof. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like,'s like well in the past David's shown quite a bit of anger towards me So I'm walking on excels. I don't know what'll happen. So she calls her mom and her mom's like I've been thinking if you shan you okay there. Well, yeah
Starting point is 00:55:39 You're on your way to court make sure your your the way her follows you in in the parking lot just in case David turns all lifetime on ya. Just like these. Yeah well it's good advice honestly because you know David's crazy. Oh well I'm just you know oh my oh my god not my just ran a red light. Oh god. Oh yeah. Oh I ran a red light. Oh it's a sign.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Give me the green light. Give me the green light. Give me the green light. That's the John Legend song, mom. Do you know John Legend? Just bumping the road, Shan. So Shan and C. is her lawyer and they're having like a pre-game meeting. And he's basically telling her that David hates him and is being very bitter towards him. And he would rather pay expenses and pay her an actual sum of money that she could divvy up herself because he wants to have control of everything. And that's not going to happen, especially that he doesn't have a lawyer, you know.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Yeah, I mean, I guess, I mean, I don't, I mean, what an idiot. No lawyer. I mean, it is, it is, she shan's like, well, now that I'm thinking back on it, I mean, I guess I mean I don't I mean what an idiot no lawyer. I mean you it's it is it is She's like well now that I'm thinking back on it. I just sort of see this as purpose control issues Like yeah, you think because obviously if he's only a pay for expenses Then he'll start demand he'll start calling shots on what sort of expenses are worthwhile, etc so So anyway, so they Shannon gets an order to lemonade, please. Just like Beyonce.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I'm basically like Beyonce and Mark County. Lemonade. Anyway, I keep hot sauce in my bag, Ben. So now it's like they go to court and three hours later, Shannon comes out and she's like a total mess, deservedly so, because sadly, she went through like a horrific traumatic experience in there. I mean, the good news is that it went well for her.
Starting point is 00:57:28 And so she calls up Tamra and she's like, Ha, Tamra, I don't even have any words for which. I know, Batch, I just gave the Beth Blood job. Is that what we're talking about right now? No! Talking about David. Ha, well, so the judge, the judge wanted David to appear me. $30,000 per month, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:48 I'm just kidding. David was like, whoa, oh, yes, bats. I was like that too. I was like, go get it. Milk him dry, milk man. Me too. I was cheering over here. I was like, you go girl. But apparently, David, like what, so when they were out in the hallway in the courtroom,
Starting point is 00:58:06 David came around the corner and just heard screaming at Shannon and at Ben the lawyer and just like losing his mind so much so that like they had to call the bailiff to pull him away and David was like, you fucking happy Ben, you fucking happy Ben. And I was like, yes I am. Oh, you're not talking to me I was like, yes I am. Oh, you're not talking to me.
Starting point is 00:58:25 It doesn't matter, I'm still happy. And they basically went back into the courtroom. And because Shannon felt bad for him, and they got a lower to 22.5 thousand month, which is still a huge amount. But I was like, I would have just been like, take that $30,000, get like, listen, if you don't want to pay that $30,000,
Starting point is 00:58:45 don't have an affair next time and end your marriage normally, okay? Yeah, and you have three kids. It's not like you're just giving some rando lady money, you know what I mean? And how about you get a lawyer? If you don't want to deal with those things, get a lawyer and like, like deal,
Starting point is 00:59:00 like, why do you not have a lawyer, sir? You know, like you just lost yourself nearly $30,000 a month because you you not have a lawyer sir you know like you just lost yourself nearly 30,000 dollars a month because you don't have a lawyer because she's an arrogant ass and he probably figures if he just tells a lawyer that say he's trying to bleed knee dry she's a crazy alcoholic and whatever and then the lawyer's gonna be like okay bra you know give her enough for rent yeah whatever people are arrogant especially David what especially David, what a prick. Yeah, what a prick.
Starting point is 00:59:26 So she, I got mad at Shannon that she went and let him pay less money. Yeah, but you. I mean, it's still a decent amount, but really, I mean, I don't know, because I don't know what it takes to raise three kids. And $12.5,000 a month on a house is nuts, so not really sure how that's going to work out,
Starting point is 00:59:42 but it was sad. Well, the sad way to end, my god, thanks a lot of Orange County. No, I thought I was pretty happy. I was happy about it. I thought it was a great ending. David has to pay money. Yeah, fucker. Well, that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Olm's County.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Yeah, tomorrow we're gonna be back with below deck med. It should be a good episode. And then on Thursday, we're gonna head to Good Old Palm Beach. So we'll see everyone there. It's still awesome tickets left. So go to watchacrapans.com to get those tickets for that. It's going to be an amazing show. I'm going to pull out my best Giovanni dress but not give anyone any credit. And we're going to have a great time. Yeah, everybody. Thanks, Giovanni. Thanks, Giovanni. Talk to you later. Bye. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Talk to you later. Bye. short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.

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