Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Highs and Lows - Live from San Diego

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon Beador holds a luncheon where Dr. Jen reveals major issues in her marriage. Plus, Heather pushes edamame and edibles on various people in her life.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some raunchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens, I trust that I've been so much that that that is I trust that I've been so much that that is I trust that I've been so much that that is I'm a true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, yeah, San Diego. Oh, so good to be here. So good to see you guys, and here you guys, we were down there and we couldn't hear anything. I was like, oh God, what did we do? We're in the wrong place.

What did we post? Well, this audience, the vibes are already good. This lady in the front row is already, she just fanning herself like this. She's like, ah, thank you. Thank you for bringing that energy. And you guys have waited like two years for this or appreciate it.

And I got a beer. Yes, thank you. It's like I'm at the ballpark. No. Hi. Well, it's so good to be here, everybody. Thank you so much for coming. It's a rowdy girl's trip kind of weekend.

Yes. There was a girl's trip going to New Orleans at the airport when I was leaving. And Texas to New Orleans, that is some crazy shit, okay? Because Texas is partying in the home goods. Look, bitch! Look at all my hands! Oh my God, the things coming out of their mouths. Because Texas is partying in the home goods. Like, bitch! I guess they're my ass. Oh my god, the things coming out of their mouths.

One of them was like, I am hungry as hell. I could eat a horse. Another one goes, it wouldn't be your first time. And then another one said, an ant wrong to slim, jam. That's all I mean. I mean, well, they're going to New Orleans. I was like, I don't know which city to wish more luck to right now. Girl. Ronnie, I don't know about you, but I feel like being here in San Diego, I feel like there's

so much love in the air. I mean, after all, this is this is this city where, oh my God, I met the love of my life on the beach. Like, there was a pandemic, I moved down to San Diego. What? Huh? I didn't even think of that. Yeah, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was pretty amazing.

I was like, I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I've been trying to move like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm so sorry. And he was like, long hair. And I was like, really good. He's was like, I was in a rock. I was pretty amazing. I was looking on the rock and then like, I then tried moving like, thanks to our, and he was like, long hair. And it's like, oh, he could be like, working on an app right now. And I can't keep it up his life, but like, it's okay. Because like, he's also like, run a lot. So it's like, it's pretty good.

I think I have one of each other, but I'm not gonna help, please, thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Sheena's Instagram. Every week, she's like, guys, we found a wedding, right now. It's in Bali. It's in Bali. And then She's like, guys, we found a wedding venue. It's in Bali. And then they're like, you can't go to Bali, you bitch. I mean, everybody

on the internet. For whatever reason, you can't go to Bali. You know what? I heard that. So now we're going someplace else. So two days later, guys, we found a venue for our wedding. Oh my God. To be fair, she did mix up Bali with Bally's in Las Vegas. So, oh my God, we're going to ancient Rome. No, that's Caesar's Palace. That would be fitting. You know, a lot of people get married there, and that's really cool.

But I just feel like Sina and Brought getting married, just the sound of like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, it's like the perfect soundtrack for that marriage. I've never been to Bali. I actually was invited to some trip there once. And the one thing I know about Bali is that there's like lots of monkeys everywhere. And I can just imagine Brock trying to conscript them all to work for his app. Like, hey, you can leave for my more air for embody the monkey giving them advice yeah listen what you need to do you need to talk to the other monkey with more respect bra all right monkey this is

why you can't get ahead monkey you don't listen to the other monkeys you got to calm down monkey the monkey, Hey, your child support. Hey, your child support. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Please. It's like really not fair, because the monkey

doesn't even know Brock. Like, I've been with Brock for two years, and the monkey's only asking about him now. It's weird. You guys wait until you get to know, bro, monkeys. By the end of the season, monkeys are gonna love bra.

That was her thing. That was her thing every week. Wait until the end of the season. I was like, the end of the season where you tried to steal someone's engagement party. Waiting, really? The monkeys are like, why?

Do we have to pay for an engagement party? Why? That's my weird monkey impersonation. We've got Vanderpump rules on the mind. I don't know why, but Lala is. Yeah. I don't know. But Lala is.

She's like, guess what? I'm mad that Radd does coke. I was like, that baby was born on a mirror. Okay? They had to drip water onto the baby and dry it out to make it a solid baby, okay? That was almost a spit-tick for me. I was drinking.

That was not fair for you to do that to me right there. I'm assuming that's how you make coke. I've always wondered. By the way, by the way, be sure to get some water crap and emerge. I'm wearing some. I'm wearing a tricky modical shirt tonight for sale over there. I see it right there. We got a hunky-dory shirt. So be sure to visit our... Us merch. Yeah. Oh, God. Sexy over there. Selling that shit. Yes. Okay, everybody. First of all, Sexy over there, selling that shit. Yes.

Okay, everybody. First of all, I'm sorry, I have meat sweats. I don't even eat meat. I don't know why I'm sweating like this. This is usually reserved for summer, but here we are back in fucking California. Yup. He's back.

You guys, welcome to Watch or Crap Ins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about We are so lucky to be here to do real housewives of Orange Who years who years actually from Orange County by the way All right, we got a nice rep. I asked who's from Orange County because we're in the Orange County vicinity We got a nice rep. I asked who's from Orange County because we're in the Orange County vicinity.

Listen. Ben just a long time again. Listen, listen. I asked Kicks. San Diego's Rebuking it. San Diego says, no, listen, I live in LA, like I rebuke it too. They're only yang because that's you.

I'm showing you. Yeah, don't say regional things anymore. Like last week, the Gina, a Gina from Real House was a new Jersey. He's like, she's not even from that place. She's from like NASA or something or somewhere. Girl, the NASA people came out. Everyone from the dry state area came out to tell us

where her ass was from. Yeah. Well, either way ass was from. Yeah. Well, anyway, it is really cool to do a SoCal show and SoCal. So that's what we are doing. Oh. You feel so far, and I can't believe I'm doing it. Oh, OK. I was giving you space.

No. OK. Space from you. So rest of the world. Never you, then. Never you. OK, so real housewives of Orange County, guys, Heather's new show. The seven year stitch. Have you guys seen the promos for this? It's a real view with your relationships. Yeah, this is real. It was on Instagram this week.

It's true. You guys are so supportive of our hatred. I know. That's what I really love. I know some of you all really love Heather, and you're like, I'm going to boo that book or just today, just to be nice to Ronnie and Bear. You guys, I am very out of sync with things

because I have two very unpopular opinions. One is that I enjoy Noella. It's okay, you can do it. You can do it. You can do it. It's okay. It's okay, I don't take it personally. But here's my confession that I did confess to Ronnay earlier at dinner. I don't know what happened today when I was watching this show, but somehow I emerged from today's episode and I was like, I think I'd like Heather and I don't know why. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so, I apologize to everyone here. You've liked, you've liked, you've liked Heather. I've gone up and down with her, but she's been like at the bottom for a long time and suddenly like, I don't know, like, I just

have been enjoying her ridiculous energy. She was nice to a gay child. Like thank you, that was nice. Thank you. She was nice to a gay child. She was nice to a gay child. She was pretty good at her credit is due, you know, that's good. Like you seem to be a good mother, but there are a lot of terrible people who are good parents. I'm just waiting for her to walk in that school and be like, if you ever make fun of my daughter and her giant flag, this will cost you a lot.

It's like, man, I'm just a bus driver. Did you brow pride flag just in their front yard? If you ever. That's the whole flag. If you ever. Because everyone has a flag, what's that you were saying a couple of weeks ago, like there's a flag for every fucking thing, you know. It's like the person in your neighborhood who has the same Patrick's Day flag. Yeah.

Or it like, what's other flag? There's like an hour of day flags. I have with this whole rant on the podcast about flags and I got a lot of messages from people like I'm so sorry I'm a flag person, I'm like, no, it's okay. Sometimes I like, forget that people listen to my rants. You're making a flag person apologize. That's their thing, a flag person. You can't be mean to flag people.

How else are they going to do? You know? They're out there looking for a new hobby now. Like, well, the flags were good. I know. I do feel kind of that. I'm fucked. I did sort of yuck on their yum. But, you know, hey, I like Heather now, so I guess that's going to be my thing. Yucking on people's yums. I'm not falling for it. I'm sorry. I'm goable. I fall for edits all the time. What can I say? We're so easy as a Bravo audience. We're like I hate Heather. She was my store child. Oh my god. I like it this season. I think I like it this season. All right, shall we get into the episode? No. No, we'll just

like fanta about anything honestly. Every time I'm like, why does this have to be five hours? This is ridiculous. Half the audience is literally asleep. And then I'm like, let's talk about flags again. Ha ha ha ha. So the episode opens up with Shannon on FaceTime, and they're like, ha ha ha. Has this, has this, oh, Sophie. Sophie, hi, hi, hi. Oh, there we go.

That's a good angle for me, Sophie. Hi, so Sophie, last year you were in a dorm, and this year you're in a house. Do you have a maid? No, she's like, no. Do you have a valet at your college house? No. What about a private chef who can do some tasting menus for visitors?

No. So I'm like, wow, who claimed your joy lives? I think that's a pretty good question. And her kid says, I do. And she goes, selfie, have you ever claimed it? Have you claimed it to either yet? No, so, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And so he's like, no, but I will.

So I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sweetie. We then, then we go over to Gina's house. Now, I don't last season, there was like a lot of talk about. There's a controversy that, oh my god, Gina's house is small, you know? So I feel like I've never noticed this dining room table before that they had, because it was enormous. It was the size, the entire floor, and I'm convinced they got it just to make it seem like they live in a bigger house. But it makes it smaller. It's like dumb people, you know what I mean. Like you don't buy

bigger clothes to look thinner, you buy tight clothes, you know. So then you have at least some kind of an outline. I mean, trust me, I'm living it, you know. But Gina's like just like, everything huge, you know. She gets a shambler. Did you notice the chandelier? Because I didn't okay this dining just not even thought what do you call living room dining bathroom? Whatever it is I'm not where they eat So there's this huge table like you said and then she's got this enormous one of those wooden beads chandeliers from like anthropology well, I mean like an anthropology knockoff or like summer tea, Ross. Yeah, it's missing a couple beads. You know it's missing a few beads, it's like tilted. Glampthropology. But yeah it's huge. I'm like science or

shantle lands. They were probably just like handing me down some Heather. Oh we have a novelty size table, you can just have that. I hate going back and notes just kidding. I don't. But I noticed this at the very beginning of the episode because this show really is about just terrible marriages, right? Classically. Or, like, as the boys have been about that. And I just like that, you know, they showed a little scenes of like, this is Orange County. This is what Orange County really is. And sometimes it's like a kid on a skateboard. This time it was just a man who couldn't put up an umbrella on the beach.

I saw it. I noticed that. I noticed that. He's just like, oh. Oh. Oh. Like terrible. It putting up an umbrella.

I was like, that's something. And then a woman with really bad leggings. Like just tasteless leggings. So I was like, that's something. And then a woman with really bad leggings. Like, just tasteless leggings. So I was like, that's something she'll show. Yeah. So then we go to everyone fan favorite, Dr. Jen. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My leg hurts. It's just her face at all times. It's like when you're waiting for the best and your pissed off, but then the best gets there and you realize I have to get on a fucking bus. Yeah. She can't break the bus cycle.

So she's hacking out with her daughter, who is admittedly adorable. C.C. And C.C. is going to show her something, and Jen's like, wait, C.C., what's that? You took my Chanel lip liner, and she's like, of course I did, I take all of your Amazon boxes. So what is that? First of all, where did this room come from?

Did we build this on? It's my room mother. Wait, you're my daughter? What is that on that door? It's a drawing mother. It's my art. It's a girl with no mother. She's like, no.

Great. Yeah, great. Yeah, great. Awesome. So what else do you have for me? Oh my God. And she's like, you're my real mother. OK, so then we go to Nobu. Oh my God.

Listen. As soon as I saw Nobu, I knew it was a debrose scene. I knew it was a debrose scene. I can't wait to see what you pick up on, because I guarantee I was like, I wrote this down, this town's like, oh, Ron is gonna hate this. He's gonna hate this. The way Heather walked it.

I think it's the whole fucking thing. You're taking that many children to Nobu. They went to Nobu like it was Applebees. Now, they walked in and Heather was like, hi Alfredo, she did like a wave. Like, hi, they know me here. They know me here. Look at how I run.

Alfredo! I'm never gonna let Alfredo, She did like a wave like, hi, they know me here. They know me here. Look at Iroh. Afraid of! I'm never gonna let Alfredo, the one season bus boy go. Ever, ever. And I'm looking at Ronnie's notes. We don't compare notes for me to your shows. I'm looking at your notes and you wrote down this, well, it'd literally be right on every single thing. But like I know, like you wrote down,

let's do a round of Adamame. Oh, fuck off. And the kids were like, we don't like edamame. We're getting them anyway. Yeah, she's not the mother. He's like, do you know how many starving children there are in the world that would die for an edamame? This is the kind of mom who's like, children, fuck the starving children. We're wasting some fucking peas.

That's it. You can't say Adamame without mom. Get them all around the table. Oh, good. So, Cat, who's like the star of this episode, is like, mom, I don't want Adamame. And then the book kid. What's the book kid's name?

That is Max. Max. Max is like, guys, we took pictures today. Here's Nick. I was like, I don't care. Just stop. Get something else with no calories. And then Heather goes, can we have some show cheetos too? I was like, oh fuck. Just ordering all like the unnecessary. I thought that normally comes free with your sushi if you like at the right combo. I just wanted to call Noble and say, just send me some rice. Just send me some fucking carbs.

I just wanted to take out of the freezer all the food she wasted for her party. Like, oh, the troopers are back. So, yeah, but it max is, you know, just wrote book Kidd a lot, sorry. It's so easy, it max. It's like easy. Me and my kids are, her kids are like like easy. You were like kids are perfectly lovely.

And we're like, buck kid. Well, I'm mad at a child with a ghost rider. I'm sorry. I'm mad. OK. I'm pissed off your mom bought you a buck. There. There is setting.

See me. But yeah, I mean, her kids are fine. So cat is like all sad. Like they just keep showing cat and she's like in slanted. And here's my thing, like I am a gay, look obviously I'm a big homo, right? So I'm pretty stereotypical, okay? Like my tongue's too big for my mouth.

I'm like I talk gay, I have a gay accent. I recap bravo shows. I mean I should have started with that. You know, every lyric to every Broadway song. Yeah. Penises. You know, I'm pretty sick. So I get it, you know, and I accept stereotypes and stuff like, but do, or let's be,

do let's just have a low body temperature. What is with the flannel? I've always wanted to know. Why flannel? Are you, are you hot? Are you always hot? It's, I think it's a question. I think it's a question.

It's like a question. No, I'm just thinking about all us, gay men who are just wearing tiny little G-strings everywhere, lesbians are like, what's up with gay men? Are they just always just boiling hot? To be fair, so were we? We're like that as well. We're like, what's up with gay guys? So yeah, Kat is looking sad.

This is like Kat's first episode, because this whole season's been about Max. So now Kat's an episode. I don't think she was ready for it. She didn't realize because she's like sitting there like, oh, and how there's doing it. And they're like, well, you know, the kids are going off to college, and this will be the last family dinner

for a very, very, very, very, very long time. It's like, whoa. This forced Edamame family time is so important. Seven years, seven-year stitch. I can't wait for my kids to realize what it's like to sit around, whatever shitty cafeteria they're in, and not have me as a super nobu and say, wow, mom, you were great all along. It's worth it.

So Heather is telling everybody that youngest little baby, Dubro, went to see USC. And Max, Max used like all-fueling herself, Max. Because you know she is a star on TV. I'll cover that. You mean published author, Max? You published author, Max. Listen, you put posters of me up around a restaurant, which just me like, this is my book.

I'm going to be like this too. I will film myself too. So I don't even blame her. And she's like, oh, she'll definitely fit in a U.S. bag. And Heather's like, why? And she goes, because she's the youngest child. I mean, that is definitely a youngest child school.

I actually thought that was pretty funny. I thought that was pretty funny. I thought that was pretty funny. I just wish Shannon Bedore was there to see that, because remember how mad she got? Well, yeah, because she says, oh, are you saying it's the University of Spoiled Children, which is Kelly Dodd. That's Kelly Dodd's entrance onto the show, member. She was like, you're a douche. What is that?

What is that? You're a dore. What is that? You're a dore. You're a dore. And Shannon was like, oh, that's actually the University's pro-jover. And Santa was like, ha, ha, ha. That's actually the University of highly educated children with good parents, who sticks together, and fight cradomanages.

Max is quoting Kelly Dodd. This is not a good sign for Max. I'm just, I'm calling it, I'm calling it early. So then there's like, they're just like having like families. No, you will not. They will just do. This is a very important thing. No, I was going to talk about something very important that happened.

What happened was... I had so much salted dinner. Go ahead. Rod is on a salt high. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a

full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon, despite both Selina and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So no, they're just like all sitting around, chatting, whatever. And then like they're just chatting. And then at one

point, cat does something, just goes, what's your hand up? Like that, she goes like that, just a little that. And the editors go, they're like eating at a mommy. Like these editors were clearly like, we need to do something with this seem to make it exciting Like what's with a hand? So Max goes um you just said you don't want at a mame and cat goes Max you're being annoying Now girls every seven years

Now girls, every seven years, we need to have this conversation. Girls, we made an agreement, no fighting without the ghost ride or a round, okay? And cats like, but every time we go to dinner, she's commenting on what I'm eating. I'm like, do you not have a mother? Like, who? Who goes through a meal without somebody commenting on what they're eating? Like, that's an American pastime, ma'am. And I think this is the moment when I started so warm to have their little bit, because she both reassures her daughter while totally undermining her.

She goes, well, I know it bothers you and I'll talk to her. But maybe you're being a little oversensitive, too. I was like, oh, I feel at home. God, we were raised so different. We're so close and we're so different. My mom's like, shut up, give little bitches. Well, both you. Well, I was saying to Ronnie before backstage, I was raised. I actually was raised only like a few towns away from Heather DeBro.

Like, we both went to synagogues in the same town, everything. So like, her whole vibe is like, what I grew up around. So it's oddly comforting to me, which is my own, you know, cross-debare. But like... Well, she is what I grew up around, so it's oddly comforting to me, which is my own, you know, cross the bear, but like... Well, she's what I grew up around too. It's like the rich country club ladies, who are like, oh, really? Well, who's the first person with a stubborn... Nah.

That's me, station wagon lady. Heather's like, well, cats a lot like me. She's very sensitive. She's emotional. She has the potential to become a television star on shows such as Hot and Cleveland, etc. You know, I also hated when people commented on what I ate. It's now a bad time to remind you of my rip off keto book. Keto fusion, which you can still buy. I'm like, shut the fuck up. You're literally paying charging people to tell them how to eat, ever.

Keto fusion. I can't. That, you guys, that makes me literally furious every time I say it. Keto fusion. Keto fusion. F*** off. Okay, Dr. Srell. Okay, so Heather and Kat are in the confessional together.

And Kat's like, what I got from my sister coming out early was like everyone was supportive. They all have like kind of a normal body temperature, which I was really impressed with. But when I came out, I dealt with a lot of homophobia and people saying the F bomb around me and stuff. Do you just received a cease and desist from Kathy Hilton, man? I was like, did Hilton said, what? There's like no proof or really even any. It's just like some bus boys someplace heard that Erica got mad that Kathy Hilton said the F-bomb or whatever and I'm like, oh really?

So anyway, so Kat is basically like, she's basically like, yeah, like I came out and I, like it wasn't fun and I had to deal with homophobia and Heather goes, that breaks my heart that we didn't think of starting the books with you. Much better story even if I have to get mad. That's my story. You start by saying one. Kat, just you always think Marsha not Jan but actually turn it around And then little baby Dubro's like does anyone want edamame? Oh stop it stop it baby Dubro

We'll work on your cookbook when it's time So maybe Dubro just throwing the edamame bomb into the middle of family dinner So now we go over to a footspa with Emily and Noella for some dueling, oh, boys. It really is. But I notice that Emily, OK, I have to remember where I am. I'm like, oh, I don't need a note for this. OK, so Emily has been trying to be, she's been trying to sound energetic.

Have you guys noticed? The episode started with the previously on Real Housewives of London and Emily was then set at that voice. She's like, previously? I feel like I'm talking about Ganny. It's like did someone just goose Emily with, when Emily's get energy. I feel like Emily and Noella talking is like, and yet at half speed. It's like, and yet at half speed. It's like, oh,

it's still a world's game. It's still a world's game. It's still a world's game. So they go into a mani-pedi place that Mary Crosby has, has like bought all the furniture for. I love that. I love that. I love that.

Huge petter thrones. Love that. So Emily like can't betray the fact that she's still boring even though she's trying to be energetic because the nail polish she's still boring, even though she's trying to be energetic, because the nail polish she ordered is chamomile. I mean, even your nail polish is putting me to sleep. Yeah. So they started talking about how Shannon's gonna be having a lunch in, so they're getting ready for that. And while I was like, oh, the whole gang is gonna be together soon,

unlike my family, because I'm getting divorced. I don't know if you've heard. About six weeks ago, funny stories. Some monocs in my door, you know, I'm getting divorced. The way that Nuella walks into every room is so funny. She's like, darling, hello darling. Hello, darling. Also, this man he played has a pink Kyle Richards sign. Oh, good. I can't say that.

Hashtag treats yourself. So they're talking. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, people at home. That was not a hiccup. I don't know what got into me. Really love house tag signs.

Like... Buh. Buh. How are you? How are you? So Nuella's like... So they're just talking about everything. And Nuella's like,

When I feel attacked, the voice goes up, the hand comes out. She tells us. She's like, yeah, I'm a typical Gemini. OK. If a typical Gemini was the meat and a vaginas sound, which were the bread was also vaginas. But you know, everyone gets mad at me, but I realize I'm the psycho of this relationship. I am.

And I just care enough about this TV show. I mean, these friendships that I'm going to work on. So Noella and James are actually going to be doing a mediation coming up soon. And she's like, I want separate entrances, separate exits, and I'm not just talking about my vagina stack, okay? I don't want to see him. And Emily's like, you think he's actually coming? Like, you know what I like.

If you're husband ran away to Puerto Rico a long time ago. Your husband is not coming, okay? And even JLo had to go in the same dorm as Mark Anthony. Get the fuck over yourself. Sweet James, you're gonna send one of those little postmates delivery cards. You get how? You guys seen those? You should see them, they're cool.

So Emily is like, so you think he's gonna calm? I mean like if he does calm, is he gonna like stay in the OC? Is he? Emily, just getting to the bottom of mysteries, literally nobody cares about all at all time. Emily is, I will say this, Emily has shown tremendous growth. Like, I was shocked to get got more than a first season. And every season, she gets a little bit messier.

She's almost there. She's almost there. She's on a good path. She's been a mess the whole time, I think. But now she's like, sick of being called boring. So she's like, oh, we're making a lot more. So basically, Emily is telling us that, you know, she likes Nuella, but you know, like every

conversation is revolving around the divorce at this point. It's too much for her, you know? No, no, well, it is the whole time like, well, God, my life sucks. I mean, what with James, baby James, the divorce, everything around, at one point, she says, she's like, oh, right now, right now it's the time. She goes, like, right now, it's like, oh right now, right now it's the time. She goes, like right now, it's like fight or flight for me. Like I am fighting every day for every inch of my life. This, this, you're waiting for a multi-knowing dollar payment

from your better Saul call, ripoff has been the abandoned his first family for you I Was you gonna say I don't think she knows what fight or flight is I don't think it's It's not that flight and then try and get the money after he already flighted away What's your entitled to hey you had his baby you go But still shut up, you know every every day is like fight or pass out in a sweat lodge. It's just so hard.

So she's basically just talking about like, oh, I'm such a wo- I got it. I got it. I got it. Yeah, but like, I got divorced. I got it. I got it. I mean, I heard you.

I got it. Yeah. But I'm getting divorced. I got it. I got it. Yeah. But I'm getting divorced. I got it. I got it. I got it. Like Emily's so mad now. I just want that D. I divorce. And Emily's like, um, I got it.

But that night at dinner, you started it with Heather, okay? You made a snarky con- Emily, shut up! Get your own life! Who cares? Who started at dinner? Like, who cares who started it dinner, like who cares? Who let Heather fight her own battle, she needs something to do. Yeah, so basically Emily is like, you know, just so you know, like sometimes you need to just like reel it in because like, you're talking about this a lot and you know, I was like, but do I get any grace? Is there any amount of graces? You're not a turkey dinner, okay?

Okay, here's your grace, okay? Dear Lord, please make Noella shut the fuck up, amen? Amen. There. And there's your grace. And Noella says, Noella, then Noella starts saying like, you know, normally she's sort of implies that normally she'd be chill. She's like, you know, of any day of the 365 days of the year. That was the day. It's like every day, every

day is the 360-minute day, every single day. They should have so stout that I'm not good and been like, I'm not doing this with her tonight. I'm not, I'm very serious now, because now we'll sprain. I'm really sprained now. And she then tells us in her confessional, she's like, if I'm being honest, you know what I'm saying? I'm not okay. It's almost threatening their projection of like who everything's far and like we stop or we don't

With this divorce everything's fine. I'm like you are not shattering anything all these women have been divorced ten times already They're over it. They're over it So Emily's like I give it I get it. Okay, look, look, we beat a dead horse. If they ever renew their mouths, that's what Emily should say. Yeah. Shane, we've beat a dead horse. I'm out through it with you for the rest of our lives.

I got it. I got it. So now we move on, unless you have anything else to say about the scene. I don't even know, I'm just scrolling through. Okay, so now we have sex in the city music to go to Shannon's house. She only does not need sex and the city music. He's like, that taxi is getting awfully close to me and I'm sitting by a pedal. Oh no.

I'm just a single lady. You know what, County? Sex and the city music and Archie with that fucking ball. Archie is definitely like the man spreader of dogs. Every scene this episode, Archie is just takes up an entire plot of real estate and like the main foyer like you walk in and you're like you have to get over Archie. He's like, Archie is so cute. He is so cute. He is actually an adorable dog.

He is. He's so handsome. So this is a great moment. Just stop asking me for a shake. You know Those dogs, that dog, I've said it didn't only need those golden retrievers with their ball. But let me retrieve this for you. Stop. It's like a friend who's overly aggressive about doing dishes when they come over. I'll do your dishes.

Don't worry about it. It's like, no, I have a process. So that is totally me. Just because I want to prove I'm the best person at the dinner party. but then I don't really do them well. I'm just like, shh. So I don't know if you guys noticed this.

So I don't know if you noticed this, Ron, or if you guys noticed this. So we are at Shannon's house. She's in our kitchen, and she's going to be doing this lunch and there's this waiter there and I was like This was some great Bravo cast his name is David And he had a full David Bedouard energy She's like well This is a fun surprise. It looks like I'm making veggie fried rice, but I'm making cauliflower fried rice Although, yeah, think about it.

That's just fried rice with cauliflower right now. I guess I'm still taking on the carbs. And he's like, yes. I think she's trying to do that Heather Dubrow thing of paying people to pretend that they care or like that you're actually active in the kitchen, because that's what Heather does. She's like, that's my personal chef, but you did the mushrooms, right? And you did everything like this because that's how I like it

because I'm kinda doing it by telling him that I'm doing it. So Shannon's trying to do that but Shannon is not paying the same money that the Gibrales found. No. I mean this guy's just like, oh.

Oh. He's like Rick Hell's first season, but an older male farm. Oh. Oh. farm. Oh! Shannon's like, oh, I forgot the appetizers. What a crazy coincidence. I, of course, I could have heard them, and I'm sure Heather De Bruh knows that, but I must have just let my mind know what happens to his eyes. OK. So you've got this, OK?

Because I know what's. I think you said this, but it bears repeating. I know this looks like rice, but it's cauliflower rice. In case David the waiter was concerned, has anybody ever been fooled by cauliflower rice? Also, this is Shannon really trying to have her housewives moment of selling her brand, right? Because this is all, isn't this like her healthy shit that she eats?

Or she sells? I don't know if she eats it, but she does. I think she's, I don't mean it like that, because she looks amazing actually. But I just mean like, who eats their own frozen food? You know, not me. I couldn't tell if this was, I couldn't tell if this was a catered lunch, or if she had, was me, I thought it might have been a hybrid of some sort, it was confusing. So cauliflower rice, I feel like that was, that's a shannon thing, you know.

Well I need like cauliflower rice, like wrapping cream cheese. I need her to put cream cheese with everything. I like that. Yeah. It's salmon wrapped around cream cheese. It's actually very nutritious and the cream cheese is a nice pick, yeah. So she's just telling this waiter, she's like, OK, so when you pour the peanut sauce, make it

pour it on the vegetables. And make sure you smile when you see people. Oh, do you like it, Rue Gleb? By any chance, you're going, uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then after all the instructions, she goes, OK, well, I'm going, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And then after all the instructions, she goes, OK, well, I make up and get changed. Can you mix this?

And he looked at her like, that's not my job. And then she walks away, and he just looks at the camera, like Jim from the office. Like, it is funny that Shannon fills her home with men who do not care because also her business partner, her business partner guy was there too. And she said, well, what do you think about this amazing meal? And he's like, he's kept typing.

Why do I have to work here? I just wanted the camera to pan over and then in the window you just see noodles, chef noodles, and the window being like, what about chef noodles? So we go over to the Dubros house and she's got a new assistant. Well, I don't know if she's new, but I still miss that old assistant who tried to be exactly like Heather. Heather would walk like with her hand like this, like for anybody at home, like she's carrying a tray as a waitress, but then her like really expensive purse would be on her hand.

So she'd walk like this, and then that assistant would walk right behind her doing this. Like exactly the same, and then everything Heather would be like, oh my god, you know what I love? Dornobs and the girl would go, Heather, Dorno, it's a love home. Well, that was because that was Heather's assistant and Liz is the Debrot family assistant So it's a different it's a different obligation and so Heather has to be good at like putting poster boards of children on easels

in public That's like her thing typing so then Heather she got, she's bought Shannon, this like very, I have to assume very expensive gift from Baccarot, which I think is a fancy glass thing, because that's where I think Kathy Hilton had those candlesticks. After those, I just don't understand how to play with little triangles where you move the circles around the triangles. Yeah. So she got this nice gift and then she tells her assistant, oh yeah, and you know who works at Baccarot, so if she this nice gift and then she tells her assistant Oh, yeah, and you know who works at Baccarot so if she returns it will know I was like oh

She said that I think it was tongue-in-cheek but you know she like put it like a red alert. She's like this has been flagged Well the assistant said should I leave the receipt and she goes goes, of course, that's why I signed it. I'm richer than you do, bro. Have a good one. Have a good one, poor bitch. I'm a mistress. Here comes one right now. So Gina comes over.

Gina comes over and takes. Hello. Shannon, Shannon,in, hello. Oh my god, these aren't she. Aren't she just lying there? That's how Gina walks into like home guys. Hello, hello. I'll take your biggest wooden chandelier.

And Shannon's up getting changed. She's trying to, she's like fixing her outfit. She's ironing herself. She's like, ow! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha You never want to see a lady in Orange County putting an iron to their boob. Well, this iron both will flatten out these wrinkles and maybe shape off a pound or two. Have you ever ironed your shirt while it's on? No. I did. You guys, and of course I look at my little nipples.

I have like baby nipples. And even though I'm always hot, my nipples are always like, I'm freezing. So they're always like, and so for whatever reason I was like, I'm ironing. So I iron it and I burn my nipple. Oh my god. That's why. I thought for the longest, like I thought that's it. Like my nipple's gone.

I mean it like did the full like bubble or whatever it does and you go I was literally this guy I'm sorry to even give you that image. If you ever iron your nipple again this will cost you a lot. I treat my iron I treat my iron like it is literal uranium I'm always like oh like I always think I'm about to burn myself and burn down the entire house. I'm always like, I'm like, get special tongues out. I'm definitely not earning myself. They haven't really invented household appliances lately. I think the Dyson ball was the, well, I guess the room thing. Aero friars.

That is a rename on a toaster with a band in it. But, oh, yeah, not close, I'm not close to you as I spell that one. Alright, so, um, so Shannon's ironing, literally ironing herself, potentially burning her nipples off like, like Ronnie did. Hey, back, it's fine now. I saw a scar from my knee when I was three, but my nipples like, fine, nothing happened. Weird, great nipples, great nipples can. So Gina, so Gina knew all are up there. And she was like, oh, oh, well, unfortunately, I'm so sorry. I ordered a rug that it didn't arrive in time.

I'm so, so you'll just have to step on our key. I'm terribly sorry. I'm so sorry, I don't have a rug. I'm like, it's OK, Heather's not here yet. Oh, okay, never mind. Oh my God, I just wanted them to get a close-up of Heather's face when she saw Shannon's oven in the hallway. Oh, I needed that. They really dropped the ball on that.

My favorite thing is watching Heather walk into other people's small houses. She just purses her lips and she says, oh, hmm, interesting. This is lovely. Is this the front door? Is this the door? Is this where you go in? Is this the room that you keep your blenders in? Is this your blender room? Oh, it's your kitchen. Oh, multiple uses. Okay. So you watch TV here and poop here. Now, where is this stadium seating for your television? Oh, you use this couch. Oh, that's nice. So Heather's not there to judge anything yet,

because she is picking up. Jen. Dr. Jen. The person everybody wants to ride with to a fun party. All right. so Heather goes hi Hi, how are you and Jen's like? I've been better get the fuck out of my Who hasn't?

Every day you're one day closer to death. We've all fucking been better. Do you have Facebook? Look back two weeks. You were better. Trust me. So yeah, there's like, well, you look put together for a poor person, you know? And Jen's like, Jen goes, well, thank God for makeup and Botox. I know, thank God we have a makeup and Botox room. You have got too, right? No? Oh, okay. I'm an emotional rag. Oh, has your book knock on a publisher yet? Oh, you don't have a book. Oh, okay. Well, Ryan packed his back. No, she doesn't say Ryan. Ryan packed his bags and left last night. And Heather's like, you want to talk about it? Has it been seven years? Do you have an inch?

And she's like, but then he came back at 11 this morning when he realized he doesn't make money. Well, and then started yelling, I mean, it's true that. That is so every little, that is me when I would run away. I'm like, I am outta here. Fuck you, mother. Fuck you, father. And I'd get like a block away and I'd be like, this is exhausting and I'm starving. Like, should be fair when Ryan packed his bags, he put like a leftover eggs benty into a ziplock bag

and hit the road and then was like, oh, well, I ate it. Gotta go home. It was like literally nothing to pack. You're already wearing your flip flops. Like, ha ha ha ha. Also, she just refuses to call him by his made up name, which says everything I need to know about their relationship.

Like, I know it's delusional, but your job as a partner is to support each other's delusion. Like you can't just keep calling him Ryan. He changed his name to Ryan. That's it. Fake it. Fake it. Also, their separation is as boring as you'd expect

for these people, this is Jen telling us about what happened after the last episode. Ryan left the house. He went and he walked up a hill. That was it, guys. He walked up a hill. That was it guys. He walked up a hill. And then we see a flashback of her telling Heather, Ryan left and he left the house and walked up a hill and had to go, do you feel he's being punitive? And she goes, I don't know what that word is. If you guys are patients of Dr. Jen, now's the time to leave. But Heather, is she using that word right?

I tried googling it, but I've got even more confused. Because I know that word from like the people's court or some shit, you know, like, we're punitive damages. And I just knew it is being like, oh, that's what I think it means. Uh-oh. I don't know. But then I looked it up and it says,

it's an adjective that means inflicting pain, right? But I think every pain or punishment. And I just, I don't know, I thought it was illegal. I don't know, I hate that. It just budgeted. Was he being punitive? Shut up. How about that?

There's my opinion. I'm just going back to my old standard. Shut the fuck up with your punitive Heather, OK? So then, Ross, then Jen tells us more about the story. So after he'd left and walked up the hill, he came back and he screamed at me the next day, and then he walked out again. I feel completely alone right now.

And Jen didn't do anything. It's so crazy. So Heather's like, come on, I think that you know what? Now it's time that we had a talk. I was like, no. Why are you saying that? Don't you want to work this out? She goes, no, I don't want to feel like this ever again.

Heather's like, like what exactly? I don't want to feel like this ever again. Others say, like what exactly? I can't really, I can't really gauge. She's like, like someone who realized they married a hymnbo who wears no shirt. And they met over a breakfast buffet. That's why I don't want to feel like. So Heather tells that. She's like,

this is marriage. You have good days, you have bad days, you have good years, you have terrible facelifts that make you laugh at the claymation-faced man booted moron injecting stem cells into his arm next to you every morning. You know, in marriage, you have good, covered drawers. You have bad ones that you have to send back after eight months of building them. It's just what happens in a marriage, you know. I'm sorry, but it's easier to stay married to somebody if he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Okay? Ryan has flip flops.

Okay. But he's a good dad, you know. I'll give him that. I'm a dick, but is he a good dad? I don't know. I don't know. I like CC. That's the only evidence I have.

I think CC is doing all the parenting in that household. So Jen is like, so now Jen is very apprehensive going this lunch and she's like, are they going to ask a bunch of questions? I'm like literally no one's asked you a single question all season Jen Jen doesn't want to talk about it. I could be better. Please don't know questions no questions Literally talking about it every season. You know she writes really annoying status updates on Facebook, right? Well, that just happened. Thanks, Jen. Yes.

Yes. About last night. Thanks, Jen. So then, I'm. Screw me once. Shame on you. Dot, dot, dot. That's just that one girl from high school.

It's like, how do you OK? I know. So is that one girl. Who doesn't know what Groupon is either. I say that because that's a very specific reference, but there's one friend I have who like, she's always the one that's like, it's everything okay, it's like, yeah, no, my Groupon expired. What's Groupon? I speak from very specific experience obviously. So Heather, I got some. specific experience obviously. So Heather, I got some.

That's when you unfollow the bit. What's Groupon? I'm going to be fair at this point. No one knows what Groupon is, but I do. 10 years ago. I just read downloaded Groupon. I didn't have, because you know, for years, we've made fun of Groupon Botox and Groupon surgery.

Like, don't do it. Well, of course. Now, I'm like, is there Botox on the Groupon? Yeah. don't do it? Well of course, now I'm like, is there Botox on the group? I found places and they're all crazily named. So all the ladies on the cover are 20. They're like, get some Botox. I was like, you literally just came out of Hupajina. Are you seriously? Like, wait, it's like CC. Get some Botox. I look great. Oh, okay. It's Gen 8 in the surgeon. So Just you know just brainstorming. You're testing these people. I love it. So

So Gen is like, oh, I don't want them to ask me questions. Like they're gonna ask lots of questions and then there goes I could tell them not to ask a bunch of questions. Want me to do that? I'm really good at it. If you ever ask Dr. Jen a question about her already boring life, this will cost you a lot. So we go back to Shannon's house.

Not the ladies who are on the patio, like, oh my God, you look great. You look great. Oh my God, Gina, your eyes are popping. And Shannon's talking and she goes, you know what? I have been eating cleaner than ever before. I take a shower before every single meal. My hair is getting dry. But I think I'm losing weight. Do I look like I'm losing weight? Look, if you look at my stomach if you push it in it's air look

Oh, that was actually salmon. There's some salmon in there. There's some salmon air and salmon here in salmon Oh a little piece of plastic wait a second little piece of plastic. Oh God There's there's plastic in there. David. David. All right, dear. Someone called Dr. Moon. There's plastic in my stomach for my anus. I will never forget that. I will never be okay with that scene. Did you guys see David Bedore, David and Leslie Cook Bedore, whatever? On the old Instagram. And she's like, when your husband does the...

There's a squat challenge. The drone, the drone. The drone challenge. The drop. Or basically, you prove that you can just... I guess you stand up and then you squat slowly all the way to the ground and then stand back up look I can't do that I can't do it. I can't even get out of a chair like that. I

Really can't can you? I don't squat all the way down squat. I could try you know, I read it. What am I? What am I supposed to put your butt on the back of your foot and then you don't know how to back up. I'm sorry to the people listening at home. I have to... I have to... I have to scribe it. I'll just scribe it.

Ben is now squatting. Like that. He's got any go back up. So I do it right. You made that look fucking easy. Was that... Was that it? I mean...

Wait. David didn't make it look like it. Wait that it? I mean, wait. David didn't make it look like it. Wait, wait, I'm supposed to wave. Oh, go down slowly. Yeah, he's got to get better. Everything's hard when, slur, oh. This is literally a police. Legs together, legs together, legs together.

What are you giving birth in a field? Legs together. Legs together, you're like, you're man spreading your knees. Put your knees together. I're like you're man spreading your knees put your knees together. I really don't keep your back straight. Keep your back straight. What? I don't appreciate this way of like. Because I'm squatting into this. Thank you. Wow. Thank you everyone. See? Now that's a husband. I can drop it like it's lukewarm.

Okay. So Heather comes in to the house and she's like, Oh my god, it's gorgeous. It's a hamster lip here. I feel like there should be wood chips on this floor. Wood chips on the floor. Every no one says something and I'm like look at my nose to see where I am and then I cast the end of it and I'm like, oh yeah. So an outside Shannon is continuing to the girl. She's like, oh, guess what?

I have zero estrogen left. Zero. I've got less periods than the con gay West tweet. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah.

Yeah. Dead. So then Heather, everyone's talking. Heather's talking to Wala. They're nicey, nicey. And Heather, this is a great chance for Heather to use her favorite word, historically. So she goes, every time I see Noella, I do the same thing.

Hi, how are you? Hope nothing bad happens, you know? But honestly, it hasn't worked out well, historically. Nothing has worked out well, historically. Nothing has worked out well, historically. Have you ever been to a history class? It's terrible. Oh, it is terrible. We rewrite the books to make them sound better.

And it's still fucking terrible. It's still depressing. By the way, speaking of history, this episode marks the time in human history when Heather DeBro ruins pot for everyone. All mankind. You are now a basic bitch drug, marijuana. So here's Heather. See you on the other side of heroin.

Here's Heather taking out all the fun. Just in recent times, marijuana has become legal and I decided to experiment a little and I have to say a little microtose of an edible is fun. Well, pot's ruined. Yeah, it's done. And she's like, well, and with Shannon, with Shannon,

Edibles historically do well. Shannon loves edible things. Historically. When she got a divorce, she tried dating on the site, edible arrangements. I had to tell her, Shannon.

So, Dr. Jan, who, like, no questions please. That is the easiest fucking thing I think I've ever said. I'm sorry. I apologize to everybody. I liked it. I love it. I love an edible arrangements pun. I hate edible arrangements.

Love an edible arrangements pun. So Jan who doesn't want any questions, that no questions all, and he's like, oh, hi, Jen. How are you doing today? And Jen goes, I've had a difficult day. How are you? Thank you. Thanks, Jen.

Please don't ask me about it though. God, I haven't nobody asked me about what a shitty day I have. So now we've got Noella and Jen coming in as the newbie is trying to compete for the most depressing storyline, okay? And it's really funny, because you can see Noella, who's literally wearing a shirt with a target on it, okay? It's like a square, it's like a diamond target, but I'm like, oh my God, who's the biggest

victim? Let's find out. Sam is like, well what's wrong? And Jen goes, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and you stubbed your toe, taking them to the bus. That's why I was a bad day. That's acting everyone, acting. And Jen's like, and their favorite period was recess, and Ryan left in the middle of the night. And I. And I.

Literally the power happens. She's been in the control. And I'm like, oh, bullshit. What? And Heather goes, I thought we were going to talk about it. really the power happens. She's been in my own bullshit. What? I'm Heather Gus. I thought we were going to talk about it. So Jen's like, I mean, guys, I've just been crying for a 13 hour.

So don't ask me about it. Please, please. You know, I was talking about my day. I had a challenging day. And I was reaching out for support. And he wasn't able to give me support when I was like, can you try that again? Can you do that one more time? Okay, great job honey, for going to work. Okay, I felt the support, but like what I need is like for you to do it, but like

in a morbidly available way. He's like, yeah. Okay, honey. I really loved how you took care of the family by working, and then you came home and spent time with the whole gang. I'm not. I'm not feeling like you do it from the top. One more time from the top. Yeah. No, try that again.

No. No, from the top. I'm leaving. It's like, what? What? Why can't we just do that again? The worst audition ever. So Emily is like, okay, so this is Orange County, right? Terrible marriages. So now everybody's gonna pipe's like, well, Shane and I hit 10 and 11 years together, and that was the lowest time of our marriage. But we managed to make 12 and 13 the best.

The best. I realized I just had to take some inspiration from the California State Bar and lower my standards. Yes. Exactly. So she's like, great, how did you do that? Oh, well, it was a lot of work. I'll take any advice. Yeah, and we did, oh, yeah, I'll take any advice.

So I need to think you can give. Yeah, and then we, and I'll take any kind of advice she'd like to give. Like, Jen won't even listen to the lady trying to help her. And then this is a, this was a special gift because Shannon's like Have you tried relationship boot camp? It doesn't really work, but there's fun props and Jen goes I did that which is a bad sign by the way Yeah Tina. Yeah, with Tina.

Oh my God, Tina! Oh my God, Tina! She's great! She's great. Since Tina, I've only had 30 to 40 negative thoughts today. That's my son. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I haven't just Tina. Oh, Tina. So then we cut to Tina and this marriage boot camp. Tina, with the brunette, like Karen pop up thing in the back. Who, what's that lady's name? Who the Karen haircut was? Oh, a kid. Lady with 22.

Kate, plus eight, or whatever. We got that. And she's like, we are going to hold each other accountable. Like, you suck, Tina. Let me tell you, this show is one long, terrible, yelp review for Tina. Yeah. Leave Tina alone.

Hortina's business is like going down the tubes, you know? Why you had the bedores and the gins? Whoa. I know. She didn't give this whole speech. Listen, we're not going to cuddle anyone. We're not going to validate any feelings. Everyone needs to own their own stuff moving forward.

And you just see David Bedore. They're like Sir could you please stop squatting? I'm trying to give my tough love monologue and the infamous Where you have to put your partner and pretend they're dead and then say something at their fucking grave, okay? One of the best episodes ever. And David's like, this is devastating for me because I lost my soulmate and, Shana is just like, ha ha ha.

I have never been happier than when I was dead. David's like, I have never been happier than when I was dead. David's like, you're a great wife, you wear pants well. I like it when you turn on the central air conditioning sometimes. Go on, there's more. So the Bluetooth stand a layer. Yes, that is right. So Jen's like, well, yeah, Tina, I mean,

that was super helpful. Like, for a couple of weeks, it was amazing. And Emily goes, you know what Shane and I did? And she goes, and then it faded. Supermodelist of Emily. Emily, no one wants to hear how you kept this marriage to Shane alive, OK? I know.

I know. Every time I see you two, I'm like, America is aspiring for. I'm like, ringing a phone, ringing at you to just save yourself. And Emily is like, yeah, Shane and I, we wrote a mission statement. Oh, that's wonderful. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said you wrote a book. That's cute. A statement. Adorable. Adorable. You wrote a mission statement for your marriage.

So Emily is like, you know, I remember what happened. You guys will listen to me even though Jen will. I remember we were at a bakel shop and I said, I think I'm unhappy and you're unhappy too, and I don't want to be in this relationship more because it's not good for anyone. And then he said, man, you can't bring your own food to our bakel store, and happy too, and I don't want to be in this relationship more because it's not good for anyone. And then he said, man, you can't bring your own food to our bagel store and it's not my rule, I just work here. So I put the rocky road back in my purse. And I said fine.

And then I didn't tip him. And Shane got better somehow. So, now they're going inside to sit down. And as they head to the table, Nuala goes out to Jen and tapster and says, I'm truly sorry. Which is sort of nice. And then she goes, you know, he seemed really sweet

when I met him at the farmhouse. But you can tell it's a lot. And thanks Nuala. Thanks for saying, like, the guy who just left her was really sweet. I'm sure she really appreciated that. Because that's how we are, right? You start projecting your shit onto your friends. It's like, oh my God, this guy, we totally fucked.

And he hasn't called me. He's like, oh, really? Probably gave you something. He's probably got a family hiding somewhere. I think. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So they go into the table and have there's like, oh, gorgeous, whoa, whoa. So they go into the table and have their's like, oh,

gorgeous. I love this. I love a little playroom for like little kid dining tables and everything. The hydrangeas are just beautiful. Did these come from your hydrangea room? You're a greenhouse. You have a hydrangea greenhouse, right?

I have a guy standing over there. You want to, hey, hydrangea room. Guy. He's like, oh, I think your hydrangea attendant may be confused. Well, I made a crunchy cucumber salad to start, and then we're going to have chicken. And the vegetable is very light. It's a very, I forgot to order real food from.

That's wrong. Heather's like, oh, cucumbers. This is so, this is what comes under the sushi at no boo. This is a damn boo. Can we get some edamame for the table? Don't worry about it. And I'm afraid I don't actually have any money. I know it's OK.

I already called no boo. They're sending it over. But please, everyone, please let's have a toast. A toast to our hostess. Our financially challenged hostess. Cheers. And Shannon's like, don't even say toast. I just gained weight.

She said toast. We'll let her say toast around me. Zero estrogen. So Emily's like, Jen, I'm sorry you're sad. And Gina's like, you know what? The thing about marriage is both people got to show up because if one person shows up, but the other person doesn't show up, there's just one person there. Then what are you going to do with one person there? Seriously. I mean, you can't haul in, had this table with one person there. What are you going to do with one person there? Seriously. I mean, you can't haul in headless table with one person. Okay, those are big tables.

Well, we argued years, years before the infidelity. So here in the arguing stage, I'm talking with that. I'm sure to work out. I mean, Tina does wonderful work for someone. I'm sure. So then, Shadun tells us, you know what, if you marry someone, it's because you're in love with somebody. Or your pregnant and high school. Or, I mean, it's like a literally a silly and reasons. Pregnant with love, full of love, a little love baby, a baby of love,

and perhaps some salmon, and that's why you marry someone more. Pregnant with toast before it became fattening all of a sudden in the late 90s. Stop. So, Shannon still believes in love. She's like, even though it didn't work out for me, I still believe in it, which I mean I get it, you know, I don't get laid, but porn hubs still work, so I know that sex still exists somewhere.

Someone's having it. So they're all, you know, trying to cheer up Dr. Jen and Emily's like, I'm like, I'm not kidding. I'm on mad now. So Emily's like, no, do whatever takes therapy. You know, think of me and Shane. That'll help you. I'm sure.

And no, I was just like, was there a prenup? Which I'm just throwing it out there. And I have to say, it's funny because everyone was like, oh, Nauela, and it took me a moment to remember that actually Dr. Jen thought her marriage was saveable. And I was like, oh, she's still trying, for real. I really thought like, she's still trying to save this marriage. So they were all like, no, well, like don't talk about pre-naps. Like, she's still like, you know, she's still trying to save this thing. Oh, I'm just trying to tell all I'm just putting it out there because you know, it'll be

six weeks on Friday for me, you know. I was literally served with divorce papers when I had no expectation that we were even in the realm of fighting for every moment of my life all day. And I'm at least like, I'm at least like, yeah, but I think that you're a little far away from there. So let's just like focus on like maybe he'll reel it in and know I was like, but in case he doesn't and leaves your ass and you're alone in life without love and lost faith and the institution of marriage like no, stop it.

And Emily is like no, you're jumping too far ahead and she just put it just happened to me six weeks ago, happy anniversary of six weeks to me getting fucked over. She says I got it, I got it, okay, I know, no, no, you've said that many times. I'm saying maybe she needs to just live in the moment, no, no, no, no, like, you just left, like, just, maybe they want to get back to you. You are a terrible friend.

Any friend who's even dating someone, tell them to get a fucking prenup. Of course you get a prenup. On the housewife so, especially, who is saying, let's not talk about a prenup. Of course you get a prenup. On the housewife so especially, who is saying, let's not talk about a prenup. You think Ryan isn't going to take her for air. Well, just a resah. I mean, I think that, Rob.

Look at that. And look what happened, you see. I think that Ryan should get a prenup because he could lose his shirt in this marriage. Oh, Louie, I forgot about Louie. So they're trying to make Jen feel better and Heather's like, look, that's what, you came back, you came back just like the Adamame at Nobu, it always comes back. So she's like, yeah, he's me, I can't now.

And she's like, I mean, he pretends that he's a calm, collected one, but he's the most dramatic person I've ever met in my life. She literally puts a one side of her mouth up to laugh and she's like, it's the most I've ever seen from her. So Shannon's like, welcome to my marriage. Oh, God. So then. I was saying to the ladies when I first met them that I was just holding on to so much it was going all with James because like we weren't in a good place so obviously that put a stressor on the marriage and Emily goes

how was that a stressor? No, well he left you, okay? Foul for no more. How was that a stressor, Noella? He left you, okay? Foul for Novoris. How was that a stressor on your marriage? Am I allowed to finish what I'm saying? No, you guys are on the board. Sky is about to board. Shockingly on Noella's side on this. Now, yes, Noella is Noella. I got it.

But Emily is like all the sudden furious and yelling in Noella. Like what are you doing? He's like, no, no, he loves you. Good Lord, Emily. Calm down, lady. So Emily is freaking out and she goes, I'm sorry, Noah. What am I not allowed to ask questions? Like not like that. Who comes to someone like that? Someone who's had to hear about her divorce from Sweet James for a six week straight. So, Dema was like, well, apparently I'm not allowed

to talk about my divorce, and I'm like, it's all you talk about, what are you talking about? Listen, that's true. But what have we heard from Emily, literally, since the second she walked onto the screen? Oh, my husband doesn't appreciate me. And then then then then then then. It's a same thing from Emily.

Yeah. You know that. A lot of snark has them. Last snark has them. So. OK. Last time, last time, last time. So... Okay, so... Alright, you four. You four. It's just grid of four.

It's usually four of y'all in a row, but you're in a grid. Yeah. They're in a square. I like that. They're in a square. Guy, be quiet. Not you guys. You. I love you. Okay, so Emily is screaming. It's all you talk about. And then she is like, and then they just cut to Archie who is just saying on the stairs

like, I'm not even even gonna try with the ball, because I know none of these ladies are gonna pay me any attention, you know? So Heather and Jen go to the kitchen and Heather's like, you know what? I don't like this whole, let's go get a divorce thing. Like that's a bad title for your book. Let's try something new, okay?

She's just like, well, it's not what I want. I think we flash back to it's like 10 minutes ago, her and the car be like, I want a divorce. I never want to feel like this again. So, Jen's like, I want progress and I want success and I want him to do better. And Heather's like, yes, that's what relationships are, expecting something from the other person and not taking any accountability

Relationships are like sitting at an emotional table and waiting for balls of love at a mom and to arrive That's when you know you're in love So then back outside Emily's like, I'm sorry it's a very confusing situation Noelle Law. And Noelle is like, what's confusing about? Oh, okay, I'm sorry. No, no, she basically, Emily's whole thing is like, listen, I feel like I can't ask you questions. Like you talk and talk, but I can't ask you questions, you know? And Noelle is like, but you questions like you talk and talk but I can't ask you questions, you know And noella's like but you are ask you're talking about it right now She goes you're and look at you becoming defensive. I can't with you becoming fucking look at you

Noella is like perfectly calm just staring at her like what the fuck lady? I've just got to David the waiter being like yeah so let's see Emily's like I'm not storming away yeah cuz noella's like well who's the one storming away now so like I'm not storming away. I'm going over here and talking to these people, because they're not far. She leaves. So now it's just Gina Nuehela. And Gina's like, hi.

And she's like, why? Because Jen is in another room sort of like, sort of like, sort of yelling for Jen, which is like the equivalent of her, instead of being like, oh my God, I'm Dr. Jen. Her yelling is like, oh my God, I'm Dr. Jen, you know? So, Jen is like, oh my God, why is Jen now yelling? And Nuel is like, well, you know what?

I could tell there was something there. She's free now. Oh. Oh. Oh. She's like, well, you know what? I could tell there was something there. She's free now. Oh. Oh. She's like, she's not free. It fucking sucks. All right. And no, while it's like, yeah, but seeing what she's going through,

I mean, that was just amazing, wasn't it? I mean, it's just amazing to see a, Tina's like, what the fuck is this lady doing? What's going on? No, I it's just amazing to see it. She knows like, what the fuck is this lady even talking about? They're all just happy. There's someone else who's just like, you know, in a really shitty situation. No, well, it's just constantly talking.

She really is, to me, like a more tolerable pun win. She's exactly the same. She, to me, she's exactly over, like the same drama, all bullshit, you know, but she just keeps going, like nothing bothers her. It's like, well, it's raining outside. Well, you know what, I'm really happy for that rain not being tied down to an emotionally abusive monster that's ruined every second of their life.

So Emily is like, can we just say it's sad that the only time Newella feels connection with other women is when they're going through something horrible and traumatic? And Heather goes, yes, I mean, putting out someone else's candle does not make yours burn brighter, unless, of course, you have a limited edition Aramez candle that you got from Paris, which so happens we have several of those

Also guys What if you guys if there's two of you and you're in a dark room and you're both holding a candle and One person blows out their candle Your candle is now brighter Actually, that's currently candle. In the room. It is brighter. Thank you. Thank you for coming.

So, shut up. Hi, my book. That's a good candle Ted talk. So Shannon walks into the room. Shannon walks in with that like restrained energy that I often have, like when I've started thinking about a cookie like the night before, like, tomorrow, and lunch, I'm gonna have a cookie, and I'm like, and Shannon's like, Ladies, ladies. And they're trying to. Can ladies? I'm sorry to interrupt, but I understand that Dr. Jens, we are just following apart. But so we're also the cookies.

So if anyone would like to go back to the table, there are some cookies that some of us have been waiting a very long time for. So let's just go there. There are hard drugs to be had. Emily's like, can I just have a volume please? And Santa starts screaming, My crowdows, my crowdows!

I have a marijuana at a bull that we can have. They make these in brownies and cookies and I believe gumballs or gummies. It's very exciting. Shannon Bedor, whose swimming pool is filled with Melvadeer. And the hell says, you know, I really don't like marijuana. I like to be in control.

Ha ha ha. Let's just go back to Bronwyn's like wedding valeradil party, and she was like, Hi little girl, you know, let me tell you something little girl, something you'll go off the college, and you're gonna meet a man, and you'll fall in love, and he will betray you by walking on the beach with a slot. But that's life, that's life is like Shannon, you're talking to a potted plant. So I am, So I am. So I am. The producers like so how is microdosing different than like smoking a blunt?

Yes. A blunt. What? What is that? How do you smoke? I'm only blonde. She's a wonderful actress. That's ridiculous. Okay, so they start having their wacky weed moment where they each take a bite like this of something that's probably... You all know that wasn't some strong shit. I mean, we're all in California. You saw those. The Edibles are this big. They split it between like all of them plus the waiter. Ha ha ha doing like double, double duty with her Shannon laugh where she scrunches her shoulders real tight.

She literally does the opening of the rose, like the original rose and where she's like like leaning back wings of flapping girl you it's yeah I've even gone down your throat yet she's like I just ordered an afghan throw for myself Jen's like, can we just do this another time when I'm not in a emotional rock and drinking? No, go on. That's when you do it. Guys who everybody just took drugs, can we not? No, Jen, we cannot not. Okay?

So, they're just now shanning his high. I'm just like, well, I have a new drug dealer, and her name is Heather DeBro. Which also implies a certain closeness in a relationship that I'm very proud of. Very proud of. Fast forward to six weeks of the reunion. You called me. A drug dealer. You, you laced my gummy with cocaine and pornography.

So then they go back to the table because they've also got other cookies, right? Which I love salmon. It's like, we're having cucumber and a boiled chicken. And then a plate of 10 different kinds of cookies. I know. So they're eating real cookies now. And Jean is like, OK, Emily. And Noelle is like, I just adore you, Emily.

I just, I don't want us to be all weird. Emily's like, well, let me ask questions and not take it so personally. So Nuala says, I'm just trying to show the girls that I'm Housa. Which is not the right word, everyone. Anyone who watch Shaz of Sunset knows that. It's Housa. Housa, yeah. It's Housa, a military thing it is, right? I think it's more like Housa. Housa, yeah. Is Housa a military thing? It is, right?

I think it's more like Housa. Housa, sweet James. So Sam and it's like, well, let's have a cheer, Sam. And Nuel was like, I don't have alcohol. I can. I mean, some, and they're just like, fucking won't even let us have a cheer. It's like everyone's so mad. And they finally bring her one one and it's got this much ice in it. They know her now

Okay, so then we go over to pretend city a place where we all pretend Shane is a goal husband to scene pretend city could not be the more perfect location for this show It could not I mean this entire show just just be called Pretend City. Okay. And Gina does have a good sense of humor about herself occasionally. She walks into like one of the, it's like a place where you take your kids and I don't know, it's like disgusting to everybody but kids. You're like, yeah.

Like to the kid, it looks like a magical playland but to us, it just looks like COVID's notot blowing out. You want to play? You know sticky apple juice residue on the floor weird fruity smells Yeah, children doing annoying newscasts in the corner Which would have been me. I'd like so many photos of me as like eight-year-old Ben Mandelker being like I'm Ben Mandelker and I'm live on the scene No I feel like I'm in the living room. No. No. Man. Yeah. I literally was Dan Rather in my fourth great play. Which is weird.

I don't know why there was a role for Dan Rather. I feel like that's an upgrade from the tree in Brigadant. Remember when we met Dan Rather? Yeah. Yes. We once did, we once, so you know Amy Phillips, you know, she's on Radio Andy. So we once went on a radio show,

and we had to go to a serious excitement, and we had to sit in the lobby, and we were just sitting there. It was like eight in the morning, and we're both like half awake, and then a door opens up and Dan Rather stepped out, and he came and shook her hands. He's like, he comes right out. He's like, hello one, Dan Rather. And I was like, how is it like eight, 12 in the morning and I just met Dan Rather?

He is very much that news guy that Phil Hartman played on the Simpson 9 million years ago. Where he's like, hello, I'm Dan Rather. You might know me as Dan Rother from Dan Rother show called Dan Rother. Hello. We're like, hi. He was a gentleman. Yeah. Yeah, he was a gentleman. Dan Rother. No. Could you imagine he's just waiting there for an hour and a half to like come out on stage. Hello, I'm Dan Rother. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. You look great by the way. Oh hello, oh, you look great by the way. So Emily's like, I mean, can you believe that party? I mean, no, well, does she ever ask about me? Does she ever ask about Annabelle? I was like, who Annabelle? I have to take a minute.

I'm sorry, but I was like, does anybody ask you about your life or Annabelle? Because I literally almost had to Google. No, but the best part is that they go, oh my God, she didn't even ask about my skincare line. And I was like, this skincare line did this show that you're on just cut from the episode? Yeah.

On my skincare line. And then they literally do a flashback of her mentioning the skincare line And then she's like oh by the way America I started to get skincare line I'm like it wasn't just no well. I was literally all of Bravo executives were like don't ask about the skincare And they cut it out of the whole show It's because they show a clip of her like girls were having a photo party to shoot for my skin care. You know, they show like five seconds of it. I was like, oh, she's going to be

so pissed when she sees us. And I loved it. And she's like, I had a lot of struggles with my skin. And so I found products that I want to share with the world. I'm like, so you're selling to somebody else's shit. And what is the name? Caragela, even mean? It sounds like a bad version of that, like, colligula. It's Caragela, yeah? Caragela sounds like the thing that's messing up your skin. It sounds like a strain of bacteria. Like, oh, you got Caragela's seed. That poor girl, she's got the Caragela.

She's got the Caragela. She's got Caragela. She's got the Caragela. Oh, you know, first you got Salmonella, then she had Caracala. That's so stupid. That's terrible. Caracala. She's like, well, the first name is called Covage.

So, you know, we have to name it. So, Gina's like, oh my god. And you know, when I brought up my skin, can I? No, I think that was caught from the episode. I think that was the different franchise the Real Housewives and Tyra layer. Wasn't you sure it was you? But yeah, I did.

And did you notice the look on Shannon's face? She was disappointed. I had a skincare line. And then they cut the table on Shannon's face. I'm like, huh? Help you enjoy, George your skin care fine. Thankfully, you're the only person in this entire cast and it's got a skin care line.

Good for you! Come here, come here. Let me ask you this. Can you stuff your skin care with cream cheese? Because I don't think you can. I don't think you can. Mine? You've my skin care? It's skin care lotion? Cream cheese?

More skin care lotion? Enjoy! So, Emily and Gina are still just struggling. They're both of them. Like they cannot get her a scene without trying to make it about Shannon. And so, they've actually given Shannon the best season she's had in years. Shannon is like a national hero right now. Everyone who last year was like, but Shannon, oh, hey Shannon, get her off the show. Oh my god, I love Shannon B. Doerr. Why am I talking like this? Why? I love Shannon B. Doerr, always have. She's an open wound. She's like, you know what? She's an open wound. You know what, she's like a fresh case of carraggella, okay? So.

We see her announcing the lunch and everyone's like, oh my God, skin care, that's crazy. And you see Shannon give that look. I don't know, it just looks like a Shannon look. She could have felt the air conditioner come on and been like, I told David not to have that turned on today Hey, they do bro. It's gonna think I am Makes me reminds me of the time when I was almost dead in therapy and David said he liked the way I turned on central air so

They're basically Someone really enjoying joke Someone really enjoyed the joke. Anyway, so they're just basically like Shannon's jealous. They're really trying to basically guess like that. Oh, Shannon didn't do anything. Okay, this is nothing for Shannon. Yeah. So, Shannon's jealous, you'll know it.

Because you're like, let me tell you something, Gina. I start skincare. So, now we go over the debris. No, we go over the debris. No, we go over the debris. No, we go over the debris. No, we go over the debris. No, we go over the debris. No, we go over the degrees of Geno's carra gala. I can promise you. So now we go to Heather and Kat at our giant mansion planting plants and branded aprons for some things. I don't really quite understand. I didn't understand that either. So this is we support large farms coming to our large home. We support local businesses that can fit into our home. So this is, again, I just, I crack up with Heather because no matter

what, there's always that like, asshole thing. Like I create like, what could be assholy about just planting flowers with your daughter, but she's like, they're like, they're like, they're putting the flowers in and the cats like, Oh, how often do we have to water? We have a drip system. Don't worry. It waters itself. We have a drip system. Self-perigating. We don't bother things. So, cats like, well, hey, Mom, I'm thinking of taking down my lesbian flag from my college dorm or whatever, my bedroom. And she's like, what? What?

What? Why would you take down? Lesbian's have their own flag. When did this happen? How many colors are on it? Is it a panel? Is the pattern flannel? We protested that flag with three different focus groups, and they all loved it. Tell me what went wrong.

So she's like, well, I got a comment the other day on TikTok. Someone asked me if I had a prenup. It was really weird. Just no, Ella. Just make sure that you get a lesbian prenup because I have had the worst second after second after minute after minute of my life Yeah, it was a weird comment that you said Cortenza Okay, so basically Kat is talking about when her sister came out that people were really supportive But when she came out she feels like she's getting a lot a lot more online hate and stuff and you know like this is like she's getting a lot more online hate and stuff. And you know, like this is obviously, it's like a serious thing, obviously.

And look, it's fucking hard. And I cannot believe she's being so public and open at 14. Yes. And I did really, and honestly, I really did like the way that Heather like talked to her daughter. And I thought it was really cool. And you know, to anybody else who's coming out,

when I came out, of course you start hearing these comments. Like even reading bravo threads on Facebook, like when bravo will post orange county stuff. And people are like, you know, Heather's ruining your children and brainwashing them with this sexuality crap. You know like you see that it's out there, you know? And at first when you come out,

you're reading that stuff. Before you're like desensitized to it, and cynical, and have a podcast. When you first start reading it, you're like, you know, are they talking about me? But what really helped me was to start looking at it like, they are talking about me. OK?

I am gay, you fuck. All right. I'm a cock-sucking pillow-bottom fudge cock-and-fifty-futton pansy. B-l-x! It's so empowering to turn the sadness into just anger. And it really works. I'm telling you, it works even like a customer service

if you don't get what you want. I'm a cock-sucking You know, we've all been there, but listen, fuck you is definitely the best route to take. Yeah. So Heather is basically a lot. Heather's like, that was great monologue. Wasn't planned for my scene. Could you do that again, but like this time, like, feel more? So Heather's like, I don't want you not to be yourself. If you want to keep your big flag up, you keep it up. What do you care what one person says? I'm going to ruin Shannon Bedore's life

if she ever says one more fucking thing about me. So it's actually, you know, obviously, well, not obviously, because the scene could have really clunked, but I thought it was a really nice scene. It was a good scene. It was a good scene. I didn't have that moment, too, where I was like, oh my God, do I like Heather? Thank God there was more to the show. I know. No, I like the way. I like that she actually talked to her daughter like an adult. I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah. So now we move on. We can move on, right? We don't have to police.

Please. Oh my God. So now we move on to one of my favorite scenes in the episode, not really because of what happened, but mainly because of the lady in the background. They're at this restaurant and miracle ofacles, Nancy Reagan, is resurrected from the dead. And Nancy Reagan's like, I've seen the other side and I'm coming back with a scarf. And there's this lady, Shannon comes to his restaurant, and she sits down, and there's a lady sitting next to the table over, with a statement. and she's like, there's a lady with my voice and not in a statement scarf. Speaking about gay people telling someone to fuck off, you see Nancy Regan sitting next to you at a restaurant. That's the time to whip that one out. Look how lazy I am, I'm still scooting my way forward.

I'm like, I'm not getting up. We're scooting. We're scooting. Nancy Reagan's scooting over. It was worth it. Nancy Reagan was giving such a side eye to Shannon Bedore and all those women the entire scene. And like Bravo, I don't know if Bravo realized how much we'd be all looking at her because in the middle of the scene she was like, they are entire scene she just sat on, like, hmm, reality shows snuts. And then like all of a sudden she was gone.

I was like, Nancy Rake is gone, but then she came back again. She was disgusted. And another famous person was in the scene, Paige Davis was the waitress from Trayton's basis. She was like, what can I get you? What can I get you? I have pelvic pain. What can I get you? What can I get you? I have pelvic pain.

What can I get you, guys? I follow her on Facebook. See, that's her thing. Trading spaces. I seem to have been on that show with that realizing because as far as I can tell, David certainly seems to have traded spaces to be with a slut. So they start talking about, well, Jen, of course, because Jen's there.

So Jen starts, guys, so the other night when I went home, you know, how's upset? Because I didn't like, crying for 13 hours. And then I was like, please don't ask about it. But then everybody asked about it. And then I like, cut talking about it. Well, I went home and me and Ryan, So it gets me, no, but she does not say Ryan. She says Ryan, listen to her. Every time she calls him Ryan, it's just so rude. So, and if you can get me to be on Ryan's side, you're really talking about it.

I totally support Dr. Jen calling him Ryan over and over again. That's the sort of passive aggression I like and I think it's deserved for that guy. Love you. Ryan. He's like, ooh! He's like petting the little Chihuahua too hard. That's poor. The poor Chihuahua wants to go back to his Taco Bell contract.

So she says they actually fell asleep holding hands on the couch, but we didn't have an actual conversation. I mean, look, we had three babies, and then we got married, and then I got hit by that lawsuit by the Ux. And I mean, that's why we're like, and I was like, you know so much as, no, well, I have sucked so much air out of the room. We really have not been Googling myth, Jen Armstrong. Yeah.

It's good. It's there's yeah. It New York Post, July 2014. Sun Cal billionaire. Oh, I'm Dan, rather. Sun Cal billionaire using Cheating X-Girl girlfriend for $850,000. So basically, this guy is accusing her of lying about cancer, which is very real housewives of nursing.

Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing.

Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. Very housewives of nursing. And saying that she needed to wish it and blah blah. I mean, you guys have probably already read it. I didn't. I was like, whoa. I don't know.

So he ended up giving this guy half of that first. But then they, it's like 500,000. I mean, it's not half. I don't do math. And it was a lot of money. But then they appealed it and the case was dropped. But that's just a part of it. Like, she sued for using illegal Botox,

like she's getting Botox from other, what, she's not getting. This is alleged, okay. I'm not saying this. So, Shama Dia is saying this. You're not assuming. Yeah. And basically, we're going really long.

But Google the shit. It's good. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week.

We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week.

We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. We'll talk about it next week. a big book, it's like a big book you don't really want to read, but you hear it's good. Yeah, it's like what Shane had to study for the bar.

Now I understand why it was so hard to pass. So Jen is basically like, she tells us more about her epic love story with Ryan. She's like, I'm at Ryan a couple of years after my father died and it was light and easy and breathing. You know, breakfast buffet. And that's what attracted to me. But now that's the roadblock and our relationship because you can't go deep. I'm like, you met him over hash browns.

Your spoons clink together at the breakfast chaffer. Of course you guys can't go deep. And so Shannon's like, well, you want some of this salad that I ordered Jen? I ordered a salad. Tell your friends, ah! It's healthy. And Jen's like, no, I don't fucking healthy. She just skips like all these fries and stuff. What, what, what, what, what, what did Dr. Jen order? Did you see it? It was like a base, it was like a deep fried baseball just arrived at her

in front of her. What was that? It was amazing. Wait, it was what? Oh, that was Christian. What sort? Was it a blow her. What was that? It was amazing. It was what? Oh, that was Christian. What sort was it a below fish? What was that? Of deep, it was like a deep fried like whale testicle. It was huge. It's crazy. It's crazy. So Emily's like, well guys, because Shannon's saying, does anyone seem Gina?

And Emily's like, yeah, actually, I want to pretend city with Gina today. I was like, oh really? Hey, did you say hello to David Bedore? He's the mayor of that town. Hi. How did you visit my marriage with David? So then Emily is like, so Shannon,

do you get jealous of Gina's relationship with that? No? No? Too fast with Heather? No? No? No? Too fast. No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? Am I jealous? No? Do I have my own skin care? Yes? Am I jealous of this skin care or who really should be with Heather? No, no. Yeah, but the fact that she's like going to go to New York which she didn't of course but if she had which would have been the gracious thing to do considering me have a history but she had it of course because we're so close that she didn't want to ask me because you don't want to burden me with

going to New York as a testament of our friendship but if she had I would have said I am too exhausted. Tomorrow, I'll be on the plane tomorrow, yes, I will be. So Emily is like, but she was telling me in Pretend City that when Heather was talking about her skincare line that you got really jealous about it. And like, you're jealous that she's like accomplished so much first of all.

Man, she has not accomplished shit yet. Give her a minute, okay? She will accomplish it. I mean, I think she is... First of all, my skin care is a tincture. So that's a whole other thing. It's a tincture. But you know, so she's really trying to pick you. I swear to you. So, Shannon's like, well you know what, that was an asshole coming to make. I have my own skin care line. I don't know if anyone's heard of it. I don't know the name right now, but I will tell you later. It has something to do with lemons in a bowl. It's not rice,

it's cauliflower. Try it. Estrogen. It's called Bittorra. Bittorra. Shen. Seamann. Okay, I'll workshop it. I'll workshop it. But salmon is like, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop. We're in the sky. Did this come from?

Are you mad, Shannon? Are you mad yet? How about now, Matt? Are you mad? Are you jealous? Are you jealous now? Are you jealous? Are you mad, Shannon? Are you mad yet? How about now, Matt? Are you mad? Are you jealous? Are you jealous now? Are you jealous? Are you jealous? Are you now?

Matt? Matt? Are you mad? How about now? How about now? How about now? Little matter? Little bit matter?

Little bit matter now? Little bit matter now? Little bit matter now. She is going to, they really know how to work Shannon though, because she's going to lose her fucking mind soon, right? So you're just poking poking shit. God, it's just so you know, I have like 10 different plates fitting and skin care is one of them and another one is full of grilled chicken which nobody ate really I don't understand

it. And that plate of realment, well actually that's that my fucking plate you bitch. Yeah, but I think it's more that you and Heather are supposed to be close, but instead Heather and Gina are close. Does that bother you? It's a tension! Once again, no, I am completely not bothered that the wealthiest woman in our group. It is not one thing I would mean. Not bother to whatsoever. Are you sure you're not mad?

I have a million tinctures moisturizing estrogen color flower rice. See, I don't even know what business I'm talking about. It does not wish for a vulgar rat, you cheena. Oh no, Amiga. So, Shannon's basically like every time I see Emily, she's trying to stir the pot. And she goes, you know what, I'm not jealous. I'm not on my plate, including a very reasonably coloric salmon. And I'm not thinking about you all the time.

And I'm sorry to disappoint you. But I'm like, what the fuck? I'm really like, you, but I'm like, like, what the fuck? I'm willing, it pisses me off. 40 to 50 negative thoughts right now. Next week, there's a couple's dinner where Jen gets so wisdom. And this is what it is. Hey Ryan, can you angle your chair?

Can you angle your chair? A little this way? A little this way? A little this way? A little that way? A little bit that way? A little that way? A little that way?

No, this way? A little that way? That way then this way? Real quickly. Rye, Rye, he's going up the hill. He's going up the hill. He's going up the hill. And that was Real House, was of Orange County for this week. Thank you so much, Sandra.

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