Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Hot and Bothered - Live from Nashville

Episode Date: February 5, 2022

This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Noella nearly dies in a sweat lodge, only to face Heather later at dinner for a Cards Against Humanity fight. It's perfect.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ranchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you

I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you I'm not gonna miss you Hello, Nashville So much that I've been... No Nashville! So great to be here. I know.

Friday night Nashville. Freezing the tits off the Nashville. I know it got cold here. I've been here in the warm time. That shows me not defecting complaint when it's hot, you know. Setting up a backup recording. You never know, classy. Got always recording on the iPhone.

Always just in case, you never know. Well, I did so good to be here. Yes. This is our third show in Nashville, actually. It's always been a fun time. We've always had a great time here. This is exciting because our first Nashville show. I tell you, it's G.

Yeah. Stretch them out. Can't fit in these things. Sorry, people at home just kicking the mic, or yeah. You have McCrack in. Yeah. Give me that. Yeah. It's a Friday night so I'm drinking a beer, guys.

Man, it's so good to be back here. You guys, I'm a southerner, but you guys are like a different kind of southerner. And I really, really appreciate it. In Texas, we eat as well. Thank you for eating, Maxwell. We eat in Texas as well, but there's like kind of a judgment in our eating. You know, like people, your waiter comes up like, oh, chickening dumplings, you're gonna love it. But like they're calling you fat in their

head. But not here. I mean, the waitress is here and the waitress, but today specifically, our waitress was like, Dr. Kavorkian, but like nice, like she knew she was killing me, but she was holding my hand through it. I just thought it was so sweet. It's like, oh, really, Fra Pimento cheese balls. You were gonna enjoy hell.

All right, just hold my hand. Hold my hand, don't forget the dip. It's also fun coming to Nashville because there are so many bachelor parties happening at any given moment. Like the flight, our flight over here, there were like three different bachelor parties and they were all seated around us. So we were just like, you know, we were like tired. We woke up so early this morning and then we just get on the

plane and it's like, oh my god, you have the aisle seat. We're going the aisle seat. This is going to be so exciting. It's like a plane full of shinas. Like, oh my god, we're gonna have a batch of our party. This could be so good. You know what I'm gonna see? I want that aisle seat, and I'm like, oh my god, I can't play with our aisle seat.

We're gonna have so much fun in Nashville. Oh my god, we're gonna go around, we're gonna drink everything, you wanna drink everything? I wanna drink everything. My favorite conversation, yeah, you know what? They want us to wear a corset, and I was like, corset, gross, like corsets are tight.

And the other girls, like, yeah, they're supposed to be tight because like they push up your boobs because yeah I mean it's really tight but then I was like they do push up my boobs so I don't know and then the people sitting next to me the guy like it was like a couple and the guy like it was being joky with his his girlfriend or wife and he like his her stomach, and she just, boom! Because, don't hit me! I was like, oh, this is great already.

And actually, I mean, the flights have all been exciting because going into Atlanta, I was sitting next to basically Dushka from Below Deck, man. Do you guys remember Dushka? She was next to me, everything. She was like, excuse me, but do you know how to turn on the light up there? So then we had some turbulence. And literally, everything. She was like, excuse me, but do you know how to turn on the light up there? So then we had some turbulence.

And literally, like the plane was like, boom, and she goes like this. Like a hand like just on me right there. I was like, dish, uh, sorry, Ron, it was that violating your space. That felt good to me. I look. And then this place, this theater so great, this venue is so great. We walked in here and they were like, hey, you want a big daddy dog?

And I was like, they know my scruff. Yeah. They know my scruff. I love. I love an in-house hot dog. Ha-ha-ha. Also, by the way, we have a merch table over there, which is so cool.

Where are you? I'm gonna say, she's a Bravo fan. She's a Bravo fan, so when you go up there, talk Bravo, Frances, right? Frances? Frances, dormant. Before I called her, I called her Francine before. So we actually didn't have any guests tonight,

so we actually got Frances McDormand at the merch. Frances McDormand is in character at the merch table, guys. Just don't ask her about no madland They dollars You're right Take it that's your partner there in the wood shipper best friend So so tonight is real housewives of our Why don't you introduce the show why don't you I did it last night you and you said they know where they are

You're a watcher crappings and podcasts. We're all back crap. We love to talk about it. And it's real hassle as a Wernschkann. Okay, this show, this show is fucking crazy. We were actually talking back there like, how do we make this less confusing? Because when we do live shows, we'll find it like two hours in.

You guys are falling asleep sometimes. And we're live shows, you know, we'll find it like two hours in, you know, you guys are falling asleep sometimes and we're just like and then they walked around the corner And every single detail And she blew her nose. It's like, okay, we're like how do we you know? How do we kind of compress this and then we're scrolling through I was like, I ain't compressing shit. No. Okay, these people. This week's episode is good.

And I have to tell you guys, I am, I know it's a controversial topic. I am loving the season of Orange County. I think it's hilarious. It is so hilarious. And you know what, Nauela is the biggest asshole. And I love that she's there. She's the asshole that the show needs.

We need an asshole. Let's just enjoy the ass holeness of Noella, okay? Because we all have that friend, you know, who's just an asshole to prove like that they're rich or something or like they're trying to be snotty so they just an asshole about random things. Like Noella's thing last week when she's like, oh, long to kill. I know, Noella. Warm to Kee La. I know, no one. Great. You're so fancy. You like chilled things.

God, it feels so poor right now. Wow, your warm to Kee La fragility is really showing right now. Oh, God. Big fragility episode. Fucking Bravo 2022. Watch out. We've got a new fragility to discuss. It was very funny to me and I said it as a generally fragile person. I'm very fragile. I'm that UPS person that sees fragile on the box and just throws it against the fucking front door.

And then you get shamed on the internet like look at what UPS is doing and it's like on Buzzfeed It's Ryan So this episode is called sweat lies and pornography and yeah Yeah, you know, it's a good title if it was sweat eyes and pornography it would be my autobiography Pretty much like so close so close real house last of Orange County So previously okay, so Heather, real house last of Orange County. So previously, okay, so Heather, what's her buttons? Heather Dubrow controlling every little thing of this season, okay? They're giving it?

They're giving Heather control of the whole season, at least for now, but she's controlling all the tricks, all the no boop if you ever come for me. Or my family family ever again. It's like TSA at the airport. If you ever, it's like, ma'am, you need to put your bag on the track. If you ever, if you ever pack more than eight ounces of toothpaste, it should be ever again. That would actually solve terrorism of Heather DeBro.

It's just at every security checkpoint. If you ever bring a bag more than your allowance, you will be banned. They're doing the body check on you And then when you actually get through it's even more terrifying because it's like congratulations, you're safe Debrouier lines. And this episode had their arriving like she just bought Mexico, you know. Welcome to Mexico. Welcome, I own it here.

You know Terry and I have been wanting to own Mexico, and we finally did it. Welcome to Bro San Lucas. They finally built a wall, it's just like, it says Dubro on it. Yeah, I know. Yeah. It's just made of Botox and fillers. So other things that happened previously, Noel, it gave Max cards against humanity.

Oh, yeah. This is actually important to know, because this is going to come back. Well, obviously, I don't know I'm saying that like obviously It's gonna come back guys. They know they know Oh, and we see the clip of her like let me read you One of these pornography cards That no well it gave my child

I gave my child. Go on, bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo- Some poor person at card can just sperm guzzling game is this so like it cannot be this offensive It's like 20 minutes of The third card is just a C word over and over again And then of course we have the new Teddy Hi, I'm Jen. I have some at my leg. I'm Jen I've met my leg. Oh wait. She we- They're like, oh, I know. Wait, should we mention? Okay, wait, does anyone mind if I do, like a semi-spoiler about celebrity big brother?

Well, it's not a spoiler because we don't know, but according to actually Ron, he was the one who told me this, but the rumors are online that the first person voted out of celebrity big brother is going to be Hi, I'm Teddy Melon Cam. Standing Ovation. We got standing Ovation, but that one. The first standing Ovation Teddy Melon Cam has ever gone on in New York. Although that isn't how I said it.

This is how I said it. This is how I said it. Tety Melon Canada, the person. Did we kick that thing, brother? Ah, ah, ah, ah. All evicted with Teddy Melon camp. Okay, so any holdouts? All out with Teddy. So we just ended at this big fight in Mexico. They're having dinner and Noella has shown up like 97 hours late to this trip for whatever and it's like

well I would have waited for my god. It's like you didn't know you had to bring a passport to go another country. No one's waiting around for you. So then she showed up being all snotty about the warm tequila and everything else. And then someone said, you didn't even eat your food. And she's like, oh my god, stop food shaming me. Oh, stop food shaming me. It's more like someone paid for that. And other people could have used that food shaming you.

So anyway, so now there was previously, there was like a bathroom thing where like, like had not Heather, Emily and Gina and Noah had gone to the bathroom and she's like, oh, I'm not gonna go out there. So now they're back and so now like they come back and Heather's like, so did you fall in? What happened in there? What happened? By the way, Heather's new thing this happened.

Did you notice this? Heather's thing this episode is to pretty much ask everyone, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Like every day, like the point where everyone's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. Are you okay? Just got one of those little COVID thermometer things in movie theaters.

Like, you're fine. You're fine. And she's also, I love that she says the dad thing. Did you fall in? Did you fall in when you went to the manor? So, yes, so Emily and Gina have just been like, do not come for Heather. Here's how you make Heather like you more.

Yeah, you really want Heather to like you. Really just maybe just be less stupid. Just do that, just do that, just be less dumb. And that's so Noel is already annoyed, right? So they're walking back to the table. And Noel is like, but don't worry, guys, I'm laughing now. Look at me, I'm laughing. Hooray, hooray, hooray, laughing guys.

So Noel comes back and Shannon's like, ha, ha, no, ha, no, no, ha, we have, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha'll, we have, oh, oh, thank you. Thank, I only wish David could be here to hear that applause. But unfortunately, he left me for a slot. Anyway, no, I'll, I have a chilled shot for you. And then Heather goes, Heather's trying to be cool. She goes, drink it while it's cold, sister. No, Heather. Heather is so cringe.

And it just gets worse. It just gets worse. So she's like, get, drink it while it's cold. And then while it goes, ooh, well, I'm busy chilling. Other things right now. What the fuck are you talking about, Noella? What is she talking about? She was putting her button in the fan. There was a fan and she'd like to lift it up her dress and she was airing out parts. Thank you, because I was really confused.

So it's like, shut up. It's only one minute in. We're not even one minute in. And I'm like, shut up, no, no. So then, Gina, you're killing over this. Be quiet. Gina tries her hand at an analogy, which is not really her forte.

And she's like, you know what? I feel like I'm mid-level management right now. OK, I'm trying to support Newella and help Newella. But be respectful to Heather who puts so much in this trip. And you know, like, this is why I don't want to be mid-level management. If fucking sucks. And I start to think, like, what if Gina was mid-level

management anywhere? Like, I just can imagine getting an email that was like, just circling back. I feel bad. I'm just like, OK. You know what? I really don't think that people like me and you leave your coffee out in your desk like that.

And I want to judge, hey, you're drinking your coffee at work, but you know what leaves springs and okay, no Okay, go ahead and keep doing it. It's like one of those It never gets shit done. You know the worst manager as per your request Live laugh love I feel bad. I feel bad. That's her thing this season. They just feel so bad. This is your third gatha So watch out. Your third gatha.

So yeah, she's like, you know, and I'm also trying to be respectful towards Hatha. We're also trying to figure out whether it's a tiny chantelier hung way too high. The kitchen slash living room slash master bedroom of my tiny home in the diary room shot. I was like, can we get your bed out of the shot, please? They're like, it's like, what are you sitting in a kitchen, a mixer? She just at least draw a better house for yourself. I mean, Jesus Christ.

It's like a Murphy bed, just the bed slops up in the background by accident. Only God. It's that HGTV tiny home. They like start wheeling off. I'm not done with my mid level management. Bring that back. It's that HGTV tiny home. They like start wheeling off Her interviews that just shakes because it gets into an accident on the highway My god, I feel bad for that driver So then Heather is like she's she's like okay now is the time when we try to bring humanity to my husband

She's like I'm so excited the boys are all together. Shall we face time Terry? This is when Heather's dark black snake eyes. Did you notice they cover with a black and then you just see two little gleems from the light and she's smiling. She's like, I'm so glad the boys are together. McWat the fuck is Heather doing to the man? She's terrifying. So, especially with the candlelight coming. So they cut, she's like, I know. So then they face time Terry and Shannon's like, I don't see I don't see you out. Go with there. Oh, he's there. Hi John. It was odd because it wasn't a golf course with him passed out on hole 12. Just strange, I wasn't used to seeing him. John Tuning me to call your father to compete you up.

Okay, you're good, you're good, he's good. He's seen me make it. Mm-hmm. He's good. And then Dr. Jan of course asked to weigh in. She's like, I didn't know all the husbands and the boyfriends were at dinner together, but I would have loved for wine to be part of that. He does great with guys. He's good. My leg hurts. No shoes, no shirt, no service. They probably didn't let his ass in.

They probably didn't let his ass in. Yeah. So, driftwood. A restaurant named after Shane's general mood. That's where the guys are tonight. Oh, driftwood. Oh, I thought they were at the deck. Maybe it's called driftwood at the deck. I don't know. Oh, that's a lot of boring things.

I don't know what to say. But, but, I think boring words as we want to together. That's where they're eating. So, we go in and Terry is just, you know, Hi, I'm Terry T. Bro from Television's Box. Yes, he's definitely trying to do like a backdoor pilot of his version of like the doctors, right? Like he's got his letter jacket on. He's like, hey, I'm Terry T. Bro, I'm here to host this show.

We're just bros talking on a deck with Margarita's guys, let's talk. We're just having a good time with the guys, this baby little calamari. Now you see where they went wrong here, just to see where they went wrong here. He's giving calamari a nose job. He's giving calamari bodged tips. So he goes, so none of my business, but John, okay, John, you've been with Shannon for two years, huh? And John's like, yes, two years.

It seems like it's good, huh? And he's like, we're totally committed to each other and we're in no hurry to get married. Please don't ever talk to me again. You're so... Fifth to kill, please. All right, well, gotta say, guys, none of my business. Yeah, it is none of your fucking business. Shut up, where do you get your money, sir?

There, that's... Oh, they need a husband like me, because this is not a New Jersey cast of husbands, all right? They're like, let's get to the husbands together. Won't it be fun? And they're like, picking their nose, just, the waiter was the best.

He's like, gentlemen, I have your tuna po'kay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha C'mere shoes, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident, not so expert experts.

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to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then, so the Terry turns to Travis, who's Gina's guy, and he's like, so the whole nupshool thing, is that gonna happen in the near future? And then Shane, who, Shane is sitting there in the corner like, oh, he's like, don't give us the PC answer. I'm a Mac, your PC. Don't give us the PC answer.

I want an answer with as little racial sensitivity as possible. What does that even mean? Don't give us the PC answer. What is the PC answer? Tell you what the PC answer is. KING OF SNORK AT THEM! Tell you what the PC answer is King of Snarkath! Turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn on, turn and shanning, whatever that means, just cut these guys out. They're fire them all. You're all gone. Wait, then I was confused, okay.

So then, Terry, there's this moment. I did not, maybe you can help me out with this. Terry goes, generally I live my life in one to five, to five year increments. That's when he gets the new plastic in his face. And Travis is like, yeah, I'm one to three year increments. And Terry turns to John and goes, and you, you're one to three year increments.

And then they're all like, what was that? He's saying, I live my life like in five year increments. And I'm not asking you to commit, but what are you gonna say? Like what do you say Travis? Like one to three years? One to three years? And he's just pressuring him to get married

to Gina or whatever. So your point remains, these guys are, no, fire on. I'm calling something else. We're having a very confusing time with the world's scanning. Yes. I'm like, what is this?

I like hot. That's going to be us in 15 years still here. We're going to still be in this fucking place, talking about the hot dogs being like, what they say at this point. They say. We live our lives in five year increments, you know? So that lady's name?

Shannon, that's right. It's Shannon. So now back in Mexico, Shannon is talking to Emily. And by the way, it's like 500 degrees in Mexico on this trip. They're all just like spitsing. And Shannon's like, oh, what's going on with you? Do you have a napkin around your head right now?

Emily? Yeah, and Emily's got the napkin and she's like, oh, you're not going to napkin around my head. And she's like, that is hilarious. And Shannon's really, she's been really trying to make like her friendship with Emily and Gina a thing like ever since the Trace Amiga's fell apart she's really been trying to make this work and she's like ah your tequila Emily and I'm having fun Shannon fun I'm so, I'm so fun, I'm fun, I'm Shannon.

I call her T for tequila, Emily, and I'm F for fun, Shannon. And that's poor Gina over there. We don't shorten it, because she already has so little. Can we, SH Gina's small house Gina? So Emily's like, I have a question. If you and John were to have a three-song, who would you bring in Shannon? I'm like, what? Shannon, Shannon loves this question.

Ow! Ow, I hurt myself laughing. Ow, ow! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I think anyone else into a relationship ruins it. And I agree, unless it's Dr. Moon, and you've got a chunk of emotional debris stuck up your cornhole, which is less sexual and more, ow, ow! I then, of course, had to remind John that I actually happened in a threesome apparently

for several years with me, David, and a sloth, a beach! You can say what you want about David, and I do. But he stuck his finger up, Shannon's butt. That's true. To get out emotional debris. Wasn't even real. Wasn't even something real up there. On camera.

On camera. A phantom piece of plastic. Yeah. Emotional debris, that's what they call that. And still, you see him on Facebook and he's still like, those eyes still like Mr. Furley, just like, something going on in that apartment. So she's, she sounds like, well, you know, with John Jansson, I just, I never, you know, our relationship got to a level I never thought I could have with, with someone without them

cheating on me. And, you know, I just, you know, like, you know, when I'm cooking dinner, she's like, what can I chop? And then I'm like, don't chop anything because I can see you're reaching for the sugar. And I can't have sugar. Stop cutting it. Chop, chopping sugar. What's wrong with you? Who chopped sugar? It's a lot. It's a lot that happens in our household.

And if he's not eating with me, he's even in a restaurant because he is a single guy. He's like, what? Where are we going from? Three sums. What if he's a committed guy, a single, but committed, but in a relationship with single, yeah? So she is like,

But she's like, Why not? Because Gina's like really at that part of the season, where she's so jersey, it's not even jersey. I don't even know what she's doing anymore. Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not?

And she's like, Oh, she's not single, but he's not married, either whatever you call it, whatever you call it. And she's like, well, you know, he's single kind of, but, you know, not really. And if he takes a walk on the beach alone, I'll kill him and whatever bond horse starts chatting in my house, I can chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. So Shannon starts talking about after when the twins go off to college, they're gonna get a house together and stuff And no less than she has had all of about 45 seconds where she hasn't talked to like, um, can you put me in coach? I've got to say something that sounds like it's relevant, but it's not relevant at all guys. Okay Shannin, you and I have had some amazing conversations and I'm saying that to establish a bond that's superior to everyone else is here

And I actually, you know, your kiddos, after everything they've been through, those are your soulmates. Yeah, thanks for talking about three sums. Three sums. Three sums. Three soulmates with your children. I like when they, when they, when Jean is like, you got a plan, Channing, you got a trajectory via friendship. Does she have a trajectory? You know, Shannon is like a relationship Google Maps. Like, all she's thinking about is the trajectory of this relationship. All right. After one wake up, Jan, make a left with your head.

Look at me. And give me a kiss. Ha, ha, okay. Well, then, after three strokes of my bangs, ask me if you need to pick up anything all the way home from work. Okay, you miss that turn. You miss that turn.

All right, you turn. You turn. And now you're going to the bathroom without attending to my knees. This right is over. This right is over. That is it. Get out of the car. You've arrived at your destination.

Shame. So, shame. So anyway, Shannon's like, you know what I said to my daughters? I said, you haven't met Noelle yet. She's great. And they're just going to flip and love you. You mean an anti-psycho? Noelle is just doing jazz hands. And Emily's like, you never said that about us, Shannon. Like, listen, I just don't think that Emily is like,

the purse is like your parents' friend that when you're a kid, you're like, oh my God, Emily is here. Hahaha. Hi kids. Guess she's coming over. Emily. Her hip hurts.

No, no, no, no. So, Noel is, so let's see here. Gina's like, oh my God. Cause Channis says, oh my my my kids are gonna flip in love No, I don't think I get a lover and Gina goes yeah, well that's that's real nice to see about someone you just met or yeah, you don't even know no Well, how could you say that? I know all this like excuse me. Can I complete what I was saying? She wasn't saying anything in case anybody's counting. She was saying. She wasn't saying anything in case anybody was counting. She was literally saying nothing.

So by the way, during all this, Heather DeBro, who has not planned for this conversation happened on this vacation, is just puckering her lips. She's going, hmm. So finally, she goes, I have to go pee. I have to go pee. And then even though Heather says that she has to go pee,

she gets up and she goes like this. She goes to Gina and she goes, Are you okay? Are you okay? You're the one going to bathroom. Gina's just sitting there. Are you okay? Are you okay? And of course, John's like, Oh my god, are you going to the restroom right now? Can I come with you? Can I come?

I mean, I get like Botox, like I love it, but that's not even Botox, like I love it, but... That's not even Botox, it's just like, there's like a, just like a... Death of a soul happening. It's just like... It's like a soul talks. Like, kind of that about it. I got the about it, I know. It's like, she's the saddest ventriloquy puppet, you know?

No, no, no. Can I get another one? No! I bet you know. No. Am I going to have it? She just... So no one else... Oh my God, did she just touch your face, Gina? Did she just touch your face? And she's like, yeah, it was a well-miss check. By touching your face?

Are you okay? Are you, what is that? No, well, let's just ready to go. Oh, for nothing, for no reason. So Emily's like, see, this is what I'm talking about. You don't have to bring it down and on. It's like, what are you going to fight someone right now? And Shannon goes, yeah, knock it off!

And they're like, oh, Shannon said, knock it off! Oh! Fun Shannon! I said, knock! Yeah, yeah. So then, Emily goes, I feel like we need shots. And Jean is like, are you seeing chocolate? Chocolate?

Just wait, say this. Chocolate, they're like, wait, this will be fun for the audience. Chakra, chakra. So Emily and Genie just are going, chakra, chakra, chakra, chakra. They're just saying in the background. Literally, no one cares, not even Bravo. It's just in the background.

They don't even bring the audio up. And no, while I was like, I'm still trying to make my point that I had all the way off. Let's go back to what I was talking about 30 minutes ago. And Gina's just going, Jack Ra, Jack Ra. So Gina and Emily are both going, oh, just being idiots, you know, like Gina and Emily,

like they're fun now because we're used to them. I'm still confused whether here, but I'm enjoying them. Yeah, they're like, I'm still, I'm enjoying them. They're like a Toyota Corolla, like reliable, they're there, they're not at the Nakabloy away, kind of bad commercials, but, you know, they get you from A to B. They're like the channel on the hotel TV

when you come in, and it's like, there's a pool that's closed due to COVID. But guess what? We've also got palm trees for no reason because there aren't any in this city. And you're like this is stupid. I'm keeping this on for 10 hours. I know. I feel bad. I'm through the third floor. So then so they're like they're like enjoy the palm trees. Oh okay. So they're like, hmm, and Noel is getting annoyed because she's trying to like have this salient moment where she talks about how the kids are rockstar,

like chat and soulmates. So then Noel says, I'm laying Gina, go down like 10 IQ points when they're hanging out because they have like their own line words, they're probably on their own cycle. Like you don't even know how to use a passport You can't talk about 10 IQ points going down. That's true. Yeah So then she's like come on ladies. You need a hot block children and then Emily's like, I mean

What we're not children Well, there you are not children and that Emily's like I mean you don't even yeah, you can't even remember your past. I still am his joke, guys. Yeah. You didn't even pass the bar until they lowered the standards for you. Oh, I'm sorry, that was Shane, but it's still fucking funny. Let's go. Still plus. So, Gina's, look, so then there's like, it's sort of like a chaotic moment. It's like, it feels like it's sort of a fight, but it doesn't really feel like a fight.

It's just like, people getting up and down. It's like a weird first. And so, Gina's like, I'm done, I'm gonna leave, I'm done, and I'm gonna be like, you're offensive! And I was like, I'm being offensive! Yeah, everybody's just like a Salt Lake City fight where they're like, I'm thirsty, I dare you! I dare you! What do you do? It's kind of like that, where they're all yelling, but they don't know why, because no elegance, they talk to Shannon, and then Emily's like, fuck both of you.

And it's like, what do you get? Why fuck me? Where are you going? I hate both of you, fuck both of you. And then Gina's like, yeah, my, I don't leave, Emily, no. No one knows what's happened. No, it's like, I'm just like watching. I'm like, okay. And then no one goes, you guys had your fingers in my face, doing, um, and then Gina goes, okay, you know what, was like, you guys had your fingers in my face and you're like, oh, And then Gina goes, okay, you know what? This is what you do and then I was like, oh, this is what I do Yes, you don't call us children, they're right. Don't do that. Do children have chandeliers in the kitchen? Don't do it, okay?

And she's like, yeah, but I have a finger in my face and an oh Cheers, yeah, but this is what you do. Oh, yeah, tell me what I do. Tell me one more thing. I'm doing wrong And you think I was your reactionary which is like my pet peeve because reactionary means that you're deeply conservative It does not mean that you react to things just for everyone. Well, this is orange County. This is true Said then we see the clip of stop food shaming me. I have a playful thing signing. And, uh, Noelle is like, you keep telling me what to do. You know, you do this. You do that. She's like, ah, do you want me to tell you you're perfect? You want me to say you're perfect? I'm not going to do it. No. And dark eyes, then we feel Heather. I mean, I felt it. Heather, I felt it. Heather like senses people turning on

Newell. Because she's like, she's like, ah, energy. Just feeding off of it. I know. Harry Potter's like, oh, oh, my forehead. If you ever come into Hogwarts again, you will lose Quidditch. So Gina's like, you know what? We got real deep, real fast Nuella. And she's like, yeah, this is what she did. I mean, this is what she do. And then Gina tells us, you know what? You got to be nice to Nuella because she's like a puppy in the street.

And you're like, oh my God, poor puppy. But then the puppy bites you. And you're like, fuck you puppy. Figure it out yourself, puppy. Gina is that friend who's like, oh my God, I had the most amazing trip to India. But guess what? I got rabies. It's like, yeah, because she's like, yeah, it's so a dog on the street, and I thought, I'd pat it. And you're like, Gina, that happened to someone I know. So I was, I guess it isn't as much of a universal experience. But still,

I think my point remains. She's like, oh my God. I went and I pat a snap-inger, don't think I'm all, I can't believe it. Well, I'll tell you this, I'm never adopting an animal to Gina. I mean, the puppy was cute, and then I brought, so I put it to sleep. You know, that's what I did. I'm kind of an example of this. This is terrible. The dog, yeah, she calls. Shelley Toul!

My good friend, Shelley Toul. She said, you know what, we need me in this drug to have a good time Oh short a short makes everything better Okay, so then in the morning Shannon facetimes John and poor John God I'm taking up my sweater It's very, it's hot. Sexy. He says he's guys with this like part-summer part winter shit. I've got so many layers back there.

It's just like, oh God, not freezing. No, no. So in the morning, Shannon is FaceTiming with John and John's just like, what thought he changed my number but, I mean to you, so that's cool. Thanks for leaving beers in the fridge. He's like, what's going on with your hair? It's just so much of a take. You're seeing double again, John. It's only 9 a.m.

Oh, sorry. So anyways, he's just basically joking around like, well, well, it's hard. I can't drink that much anymore. Which is funny Shannon trying to act like oh, it's hard to drink Whenever going out Drinking me Shannon Literally every episode is like her going to star by saying okay. Well, I'll have a venti Makiato and also Just a shot of vodka with that too. Thanks have a Venti Makiata and also just a Shadefodka with that too. Thanks.

Yes. I'll have a Tito's Makiata with a Belphe-their phone. Thank you. Could I get a... My name is Kelly Dodd. Thank you very much. Oh. Tito's Frappuccino.

Please, thank you. So then Shannon's like... You know, with Heather, my very good friend Heather, who I've been loving to have friends with again. So good. Hello rich person. Yeah. She's everything.

Everything is very clearly thought out. It's very organized and meticulously planned. And then we get like this montage of Heather basically being like, so we're going to fly private. I rented a house for us. There's lots of rooms. Look at the seat is on the property. Flagstones, pebbles. There'll be a crab at four o'clock. Tuna at 1 p.m. You're going to see flat things, flat things, and they're going to have four things under them. They're called legs. Those are tables.

Things will be put on the tables. You will eat those things. This is a can. The can will be on the table. You will eat those things. This is a can. The can will be on the table. When you see it, press back with the little metal thing on top. Between 3.30 and 3.37, there will be a cloud that will pass by. I encourage people to go to this Shaz lounges, which will be set out for you to lie and look at the cloud,

enjoy it. If you care to take a photo, use your app. There is a program called Instagram on it. You'll see a man, a man with hats. Probably 12 hats on top of his head. Do not call him Alfredo. I've made that mistake. He must not Alfredo.

If the man with the hats inspires you to sing the Amy Grant song, hats, feel free to do so, but at an appropriate volume. Are you okay? I guess we got it, I guess we got it, we got it. Commissions, here comes one right now. Here comes one right now. So Shannon's like, oh God, it is great being with rich person Heather DeRoe, but God, I'm tired. So then we go to Emily and Gina and Gina, who said, really, this,

let me, Gina's kind of like all of us in a way, because all Gina does is walk around going, I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it.'m not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. So she's doing that. And Emily's like, call, we're going to a sweat lodge. I feel like combo already is a sweat lodge in general.

So they go to meet and know, well, that's the three of them are going to go to, who got, you know, who lost the stick drawn this one? I mean, you go to a sweat lodge to almost die, or you go look at fucking bullshit houses, Heather DeBros is rejecting, she's gonna blow $16 million on. So, Gina and Emily and Noel, they're all hugging the next morning, and Gina's like, oh my God, I fucking hate that we fall. I feel bad.

I just like watching them try to open that sun front door. I hate that we fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I mean, you get us every time, don't you? Doors, am I right? So the rumor is, by the way, that Nicole Weiss, like she was fired, which was why she didn't come on the trip. And then we have this moment here where Heather's like, oh, by the way, my friend, Tawny, she happens to be down here in Cabo San Lucas. So she's going to hang out with us. And I'm wondering, do you think Tawny is the new Nicole? The new friend. I don't care new I do know this

Tawny is just like a really old Bronwyn Winden Burke. It's really weird like she looks just like her and she is way too much already. This is tawny. It's like by the way tawny is here and tawny is like Never! Ah! Ah! With Mexico. Can you believe it? It's Mexico! It's a van. We're gonna get to the van!

And Heather's like, wah, wah. She does the bit. She just like, she flares at her hands when she gets to. She's like, wah. She's like that dinosaur in Jurassic Park that kills Newman. It's like, wah. You know? And then she's like, did Mark go home? John is like, I don't know who Mark is,

but I'll say yes just to be on the show. So then Emily, I mean, Emily and Gina and Noah were at the sweat lodge. And Gina's like, oh, it's like a sage vibe. It's not like seeing a gene boy until, and so the lady's like, oh, it's like a CG vibe. It's not like seeing a G-boy until when. And so the lady is like, what was he asked? This is a very special moment.

We're going to cleanse your soul. You will be entering the mother of the belly. And Emily's like, I studied abroad, so I got Mexico. I'm like, she's like, I studied abroad, so like I got Mexico. I'm like, she's like, they have never seen an American before. Oh my God, they loved us. I'm like Wonder Woman here, so I got it. So the lady who's working here can see right through your ass, you know what I mean?

It's like a spiritual person I actually believe because the first thing she did was smudge novella. She just like lit sage, it was like. So, basically, so then the women change into bathing suits and they go into this sort of like, it's like a kiln and they like go in there. And my first thought was like, oh my God, I feel so bad for the cameraman. But like thankfully, they did not subject the cameraman

or camera person into the heat. So they go in, they go close. Nice, yeah. Want to be careful. I just felt America get super pissed. I felt the camera, I felt I felt I felt it So then they like close like the flap and like all goes black It's like the interior temperatures 97 degrees and it's like And then we go over to have the to bro on selling Cabo

The fuck kind of vacation is this how there's like we're gonna see things, I'm gonna spend money on everybody. So they go and before we even see anything, we just hear Tawny going, Ha-da! Oh, it's beautiful! So they meet up with her architect being in his daughter, Amanda. And she's like, I would love to build another house in Cabo. I'm like, yes, we know.

You've set it like every two lines. Like, we're just going to buy another. We tried to build a house in Idaho. We just had a Cabo instead. I shall I repeat that five more times. So this house is $13 million. So it's a pretty house. It's on three acres over the water.

And the best part is just watching Shannon walk through. Because Heather is always sure to include Shannon on the sit that Shannon doesn't have money for anymore, you know. So she's like, wow, Shannon, look at this, men in their wallet. Am I right? Do you think I'll win? And Shannon's like, well, just, well, it's fun to live in a big house, but, you know, I wouldn't want to.

Oh, yeah. She's... There's so many stairs up and down. Is that a chandelier that comes down with a switch of a button? No, that's nice. You know what I would hate? A house that's Bluetooth controlled and filtered for halogens. That sounds terrible. Oh, am I mistaken or is the refrigerator actually inside your kitchen?

Oh, that's nice, that's nice for you. So Sam is just having a slow meltdown while Heather says, just the most of my sister said. So being like, okay, and look, there's the ocean. I mean, look at that, can you beat that? It's an ocean. So being like, okay, and look, there's the ocean. I mean, look at that. Can you beat that? It's an ocean. And Heather goes, is that swimable? How much is the ocean cost? What's this ocean rated? I'm just going to need an ocean rating. I have children. And then there's like a wrap around pool and everything and and they're just like

walking around and chants like, wow, this is this is double the size of my house. Okay. Oh, well, there's no spiral staircase, but I'm certainly spiraling. Oh, you know, big houses are fun for some people, but I just prefer cozy. Yes. And then Heather's like, not even buying it. You know Shannon cannot lie. She's just sitting there in the diary room. I really love cozy. And then Heather goes, oh, will you show us the library? Because my daughter wrote a book.

So I need to know about libraries. So they go into this like, whimsical-ass library with like old books from 12, 13, 8, and everything, and like, what is this ridiculous library that Heather DeBro is feigning interested in? And then Jen goes, oh my god, you know what this reminds me of? All my time in the library. Yes.

It's funny how that happens when you're in a library. I just want to see that audition tape. Who was like this is the one. This is the one. I'm just holding out hope that there's just some terrible shit that goes down with her marriage because I don't understand how she got beyond friend of status. It's already happening. What do you say? It is going down at the moment. It's a terrible marriage. What are you waiting for to happen? How could you say that?

I can't wait for that marriage to suck. How could you say it's a terrible marriage? They met at a breakfast buffet, guys. Between the hash browns and the bacon, there was love. So then Shannon's like, well, this tour is much shorter than Heather's house tour. And then we see, and this is the machine that wipes your ass, licks it, and puts a candy corn up there just and gets you get hungry later. So then we go back to the sweat lodge. And it's like, oh my god. Interior temperature, 132 degrees.

I feel like we should get in the spirit of the sweat lodge. Okay, let's go. Oh, present yourself to this mother-bally. And tell her what is your intention to work here. This is all this is fucking hard. This is on. This is fucking on. This is for real, a fucking heart. I thought we were going to the spa.

I've never felt such stifling happiness of me. I'm seeing. This is makingpling Heaven as a lead. I'm seeing, this is Big Me Sad. There is a wave of sadness coming out of me and it's coming out in 4. Waves make me sad. The coins you buy being so sad is making me sad. Oh you know why, cause you're an empath. You're taking it on. Pants make me sing. I'm feeling ducky.

I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar.

I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar.

I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. I'm gonna bar. Oh my god, Nauwela, are you okay? Someone get a doctor. Nauwela, oh my god. This hack can't use a tiny chandelier raining here. That would really make this place work. That way, you see it, guys. I'm serious. This hot kid used a tiny chandelier raining here. That would really make this place work. That way we see it, guys. Oh my God, get the doctor.

Get the doctor. Aaaaah! Get the doctor. Stratching. Watching Noelle's head flop out of there. It was so mean to laugh, you know. That was a very intimate experience. But it was. But it's also so that Noella friend we all have that no matter what you do.

It's like, let's go zip-lining. She's like, I'm trying to run away. You're gonna talk to me. I can't believe that Noella passed out and nearly died in a sweat lodge, she would have thought. So, um, where's my chair? The chair's back there. Trying to slide back because my ass is all the way out at this point. So, Noella is basically like when you leave herbs out for like three days on the kitchen

calendar, so I'm just like wilted. So they go and fetch her out. She's crying of course, and just like a total disaster. They're all crying out of the sweat lodge. And then the lady is there and she's like, just breathe. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. I think this lady, like let's defer to her.

Yeah, I think she's had this experience happen a few times. I mean, she is the one who almost just killed you. But still, take her advice. So they're all like they put Noel on a side table and everything. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, in the crying, you know, the crying competition because Emily and Noella were crying, Noella won, but now Jean is like, you bitches crying, meet me, crying, now he's in my fucking door. I'm happy, no one else is happy, I just want everyone else to be happy when I'm happy. Which I think is so sweet actually, Jean, because I don't really know people who feel like that.

Now, if I'm unhappy, you're asked about a remissorable too. Or I will make you miserable. I'll be like, you're happy, really? Remember the guy you dated Rob? But if I'm happy, I'm fine if you're miserable. Yeah. But if I'm happy, I'm fine if you're miserable. Yeah. So Noel is finally ever suss-titated. And so she comes out and she's like,

I'm just so well right now. Which is what she says like nothing. She's like, you know, it just felt so wrong. That was good, right? Did you guys get that? She's like, that. So then Gina gets all sad and guess what she says. I just feel bad.

I feel bad for the sweat lodge. And now I was like, you're an empath. You really took on a lot of my sister's action. Yeah, I guess I don't really know what you're talking about. I hope I find that credit card that you found. They're all emotional and I'm like, look guys, we'll just go back to the hotel, we'll sit up by the pool and we'll just have a margarita.

It cuts an hour later than in bed. It's basically a song every trip. and then it bent. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Now Heather is checking out the CVU over at her place. And of course, fucking Tonny's just over there like, Oh, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And Shannon gets out of the van and the windows blowing her script. Oh, wow. Wow. I better be careful the way I might find someone like David, who likes cheap sluts.

Come walk it over to to me showing my badge. So, Bing. How much land is here? And that's a lighthouse. Is there just one lighthouse, Bing? He's like, actually, actually there's two. It's just, you get a lighthouse. You get a lighthouse.

And Heather's very inspired by Jen. After Jen just said, being in this library reminds me of when I was in the library. Now Heather goes, is that a lighthouse? And the other guy, a table, goes, yes. And she goes, oh, so there's a view of a lighthouse. Yes, Heather. Do you think it was an optical illusion?

So Heather is enjoying all these lighthouses, right? And she's like, so this is $8 million, you think $500 a foot? Let's call the boss. Let's call Heather. Let's call Terry. She better not have my cleavage showing. You know, men and their boobs, I could show one boot for a balcony. One boot.

I was like, stop, please. I mean, I actually welcomed Jim's part of the scene. She's like, am I like really tired. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha gets Terry up and she's like, and Terry gets on and he's like, is that the Bing? Bing is like, God, this fucking guy. What I will put up for like a $10 million commission, right? Yeah, and Bing's like, well, I'm telling her it's $10 million,

but you know what's other, so it's gonna be 15 or whatever. Well, they've got this lighthouse. They say it's the oldest lighthouse in all of Mexico. So I was thinking we could tear it down and put it in a movie theater. Oh. Found paradise.

Let's tear it down and put it up a parking lot tear. So I'm thinking. I bought Joni Mitchell. I bought Joni Mitchell. So Heather, hmm. Hmm. I want to cough, and I really don't want to. So that's how I've learned to do it in COVID. Because you know when you cough in COVID everyone's like, die fucker.

You know they're like throwing you, they're like throwing you into a pit of fire. Like get rid of them before it gets everyone else sick. You know. So now I cop like this. That's also Dr. Jen Laughing. So basically long story short, this piece of land is going to build on, to buy the land and to build on it's going to cost 15.5 million dollars estimated. And so Terry goes, Bing, I got a question for you.

Can I borrow 15 million dollars? 15 million dollars, that's only like 20 COVID tests. Call right now, what 800 Terry Vinn. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He tram is I love hands. I was like wow they really crafted a story for Gina this year. I know. Let's take her to a very hat for beach. Poor beach. So let's see they talk about hats and then they start talking about planes right. No one was like so how are you guys going to go home?

You're going to fly more phone. You don't know how are you going to do that. No Emily is the one who starts this, because Emily does this really awkward transition. She goes, I'm gonna sell your hat, so then we can take a private jet on the way home. Did I mention a private jet by accident? Oh, right, right. She goes, wait a minute, you guys flew a private jet here

and she's like, ah, maybe I don't know. I think it was like a stalk that brought us over here in a sack, I don't know how we get here, Mexico. So wait a minute, how the hell is taking you guys on a private plane, I mean, what? And so, Gina's like, yeah, you know what? I got to ask Heather about that, because I know she mentioned a smaller plane

We don't know what this seats available on the airplane because she might have to get a big up Plane we promise the guy with a hat seat on the planes. There's not as much space and his hat's take up a seat So then we get that and no well is not drunk. So now no well is handling things kind of more normally, right? Yeah, cuz the night before she's like warm to Kayla and now she's like And Noella is not drunk. So now Noella is handling things kind of more normally, right? Yeah. Because the night before, she's like warm to Kayla. And now she's like, oh, you guys are on a fucking private plane. Thanks a lot, you know? But they're expecting her to still be this crazy Noella.

So they're talking to her like she's fucking crazy. She's like, oh, so you guys are going on a plane. And she was like, oh, oh, oh, I mean, I don't even know what a plane is. I mean, what's a plane? Am I right? Am I right? So then Emily is like, well, I mean, I don't even know what a point is. I mean, what's a point, am I right? Am I right? So then Emily is like, well, I mean,

because Gina says, well, I have to talk to Heather to see if she can, I'm sure she'll be fine with it, basically. And Emily goes, I mean, she didn't even want her to calm. You had to talk her into a Gina. Did you know that, Nuala? Because Nuala's staying calm, so Emily is not going to let it go. She's like, oh yeah

You're stupid and fat. Oh, we're flying your stupid and fat airlines. I'm sorry I did Heather tell you that was the name of the plane that you're not invited on Sorry and sweet James invited us all to his place in Puerto Rico Yeah, so then Nile was like, no, I didn't know. And she like fledders her eyelids. And Gina's like, no, I didn't talk her in, to win. She went, I didn't do that. She's like trying to really smooth things over. So then Emily gives us this line of bullshit

in the confessional. She's like, I thought it was important for Nuala to know what Gina did and what a good person she is and how she was trying to advocate on her behalf. No. I'm Emily Simpson and I'm an asshole. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so I begged for her to let you come. And while I was like, this kinda hurts me. I mean, it just, it kinda does, guys. And she tells us the invitation away I understood it was an all of branch. It was Heather saying, we're gonna be civil.

We're gonna be strong. We're gonna be women. Decent respectable women to each other who shame each other for warm tequila shots. And then we, I don't know where Noel got that idea because then we see a flashback of when they had their little mini summit in Heather's podcast studio where Heather fires her, which I still think is the best thing to see someone fire their friends. She's like, you know, you call me a fake bitch and I don't take that personally but having said that I'm not sure I'm the right

friend for you. I don't think I'm the right friend for you. Here's a box you can pack up your things. You can have a reference letter on your way out. Talk to Gina on your way out. Please don't leave your coffee cup on the desk. She doesn't like that. So, Gina's like, you know what? But like, he's the thing. But like, he's your friend. Like, maybe you shouldn't tell everyone so much of your business. You know what I mean? Because like, I get it, you see that. But like, when things come up, you shouldn't talk about it, right? Because you've got to be careful. Because like, you know, not everyone's the person you want to tell the details about Sad life. I was like, hey look who's fucking talking?

Yeah, seriously. The past four years have been the details of your sad fucking mind. It's true. Okay. Second, that's not why Heather's mad at her because she talks too much. She doesn't like her because Noel is like, you're a fake bitch, I said it. Yeah, and Heather is a fake bitch. But Noelle, but Heather didn't get to be the fake bitch yet. She's like, wait a second, I was gearing up for that scene.

You called me a fake bitch before I was a fake bitch to you. Yeah. I just love that everyone's like, why doesn't Heather like Noelle? What a mystery. So Noelle is is like one person. You know what? She talks so slowly in her confessional. Like in real life or in the normal scene, she talks like this. But in that one confessional, she does this thing where she just like,

tell me one reason why. She's like anyone who grew up like super Christian, you know, like, at Jesus Chapel where I went, where they would like play tapes really slowly to show you how satanic they were. It's like, my Mimala. Listen to the Beatles. Listen to what the Beatles did. You're like, what? It's like strawberry fields and it's like, gay fucking gay fucking fucking, but fuck. You're like, me, ma! So if you speed up Nuala, it's like, she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah. But slow down, she's a fake fucking bitch.

God, that would be the best if like all those people who said that like if you slow down the Beatles, it's like, say, Tannik, but they slow it down and just someone talking should about Heather DeBro. It's like Paul McCartney, you're song should about Heather DeBro. Stop it! If you have fun, come for me! Or mine, that way. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I got you up the hook. Charles Manson would have nothing on Heather to bro. Excuse me. Do not come in here.

I don't know who you or your friends are, but I'd like you to leave. You'd be like, oh, OK, well, that's right. So both Gina and Emily are like, here's how to get Heather to like. Yeah, he's how to get her to like you. She's weird. It's like, fuck both of you. Shut up with this, like trying to get Heather's butt, it's so gross, you both look like idiots. So Gina's like, yeah, Heather just needs to feel safe.

That's what she needs from you. That's what she needs from me though, well, not. Yeah, so then somehow it comes, like we transition into like talking about like hooking up with girls girls hooking up with girls And so Emily is Emily is like I could we get to it because it's no well No, I was like all right. Well people don't like me. I'm gonna talk about looking vagina So anybody here anybody here looked at vagina. I did I. Like you asked the question, okay, we got it. And so Emily's like, maybe, maybe not. Mm.

And she's like, you did? Faleish, you went down to a woman, Faleish. I don't know if Faleish is that right term, by the way, but Faleish is so the term of someone who isn't the hats, isn't it? Yeah, Like just Jean and her pedora like I am the Felicia So no else like she's like raise your hand if you've ever gone down on a woman So I

I've never gone down on a woman. So like me, me, me, me. And then she goes, raise your hand if a woman's ever gone down on you. And Emily's like, me. Watch this beat a segment for 15 minutes on the reunion. So what was it like that exactly the woman? Who hears much pussy? Have you much pussy?

You've much pussy? What was it like? Was it way? There's one little one minute conversation. I guarantee you a full segment on the reunion. Muella! You asked Emily if she went full mother, but Muella! She much bush and she tattoos your tush. It's Emily Simpson and Kat Von D.

It's also funny that girls have that thing too because guys have this thing like you're not gay if you get a blowjob, only if you give a blowjob, right? I ain't gay, I got my dick sucks, so what? Y'all, feel great right now, y'all, it was great. Yeah, it was great. It was totally the kind of... Yeah, Carl did kind of have that, right? Yeah, Carl had a blowjob.

He's not the same thing. You're not gay, not gay. He's like, this is gay, so I don't like it. So it was different. Just working on myself. I didn't know girls had that too. Like, if you get your nutter butter, whatever the fuck that is, I know. I've always been

confused by nutter butters too. But you know what we're going along. So let's just get some nutter butters are like that thing you get when your it's elementary school on time for snack and you're really hoping for an Oreo and you get a nutter butter. No, yeah. And how are they still around? Nutter butters are still there. Like we're still we're still shaped like peanuts. Like you're not a peanut. And what about those strange orange crackers with peanut butter in the inside that only exist in elementary school snacks?

I love those. How'd you get it? Fuck you. They were great. They were great. But what are they? Have you ever seen them outside the context of like a gas station?

You get them at the gas station. Here's what you do. You buy eight of those at the gas station. Then you get a big old Diet Coke. Yeah, and you know, it has to be Styrofoam. If it's not killing the world, it's not a Diet Coke That's what then you put one of the orange cracker peanut butter things in your mouth And then you take a sip of the Diet Coke and then you melt crush it in the roof. Wow And if you're in Jersey, you save one just as like a reference for how you want your spray tan.

Blink. OK. Oh my god. Oh, the most important scene. The most important scene. I was like, is this so over? It feels empty. Thank god.

Here we are. Genus on the elliptical. Genus on the elliptical and elliptical of emotional pain So she is in a public when I say public gym meaning that like she's not in private like she's not in the casita It's like a gym that other people in the world use She's like in the world use. She's like, hmm. Hmm. So she's faced.

She's like a fish that you catch. And it's just stop struggling. You know, it's like on the ice. It's on the ice. Just like. Just make me sushi already. Just make me sushi. So she's OK.

So she's already annoying me because she is face- rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I don't want to see them dancing, and I sure as hell don't want you to yap it along on FaceTime on the Liptical while I'm trying to do literally anything else at the gym. Yeah. Thank you. So, um, she's like, I just want to cry. It's been since 9 in the morning with my leg, and I just got to the gym, Ryan. It's debilitating. I can't function. I'm having a breakdown. And Ryan goes, I mean, it's horrible. She goes, I know it's horrible. I'm reaching out to you for like, some empathy or something. I'm just reaching out for you to show some validity Ryan.

validity. Oh, by the way, she will not call him Ryan, which I think it's funny. It's like you're calling your husband to give you validity and you won't even call him by his new made-up name, you know? I actually really support that element of passive aggression in her personality. She's like, no, I will not support Ryan. So he's like, well, just make it better tomorrow. That's all you can do. He's just like looking through his like inspirational quote of the day, calendar, trying to find an appropriate one,

just hang in there. Yeah. He's like, it'll be better tomorrow. And she's like, oh, I mean, if I'm not going to get empathy from Ryan, who am I going to get it from Ryan, who am I gonna get it from? I'm not gonna get it from the girls. Run! Run!

Run! Run! And she's there, just... And now she's crying, and you see people walking in the back, like someone's crying on the floor, you're gonna let your gym for crying out loud. I'm not going up to anybody crying at the elliptical,

and are you? No, I'm just like, get it together. Cry home! Cry home!, I'm just like Get it together home. Also have your bad fucking marriage at home. There are certain things you just don't do in public. Okay. Hate each other at home. I don't need this in the olive garden. Get out. Don't get out. On the elliptical.

In here for breadsticks. The one thing that's worse on an elliptical, one thing worse than sweat on an elliptical are tears. Okay, so we don't need them. So she's like, I just want you to say I'm sorry. worse on an elliptical, one thing worse than sweat on elliptical artiers, okay, so we don't need them. So she's like, I just want you to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry you've been in pain all day. I wish I could protect you. Yeah, well I would just want you to know that I planted a fucking lemon tree with our children that you still haven't noticed.

So, all new housewives get divorced somewhere else. This is my television is not your playground. First, should we get divorced? So then she ends up by going, I love you and he goes, okay, have fun. I mean, it was fun for me. And I was deeply entertained by her entire emotional breakdown on an elliptical. I know, it was fun for me. And I was, I mean, I was like deeply entertained by her entire like emotional breakdown on an elliptical.

I know, it's such a liar. I'm like, get divorced at home. Yeah, right. I'm like, hey, and I should come out with you as a couple. Tell me what you hate about each other. So now it's night time. It's time to get dressed. And everyone's getting dressed and everyone's gathered.

They got that cool bar in the middle of that sort of like entryway thing. And then I was like, is it an entryway thing? I was like, no, I don't have to correct that. I think it's for the review of the bar. At the nice bar at the entryway thing. So they're all gathering. They're all gathering.

And again, yeah, they're just doing the, muah, muah, it's to everything. Muah, muah, even to Nuela. They're all being fake. They wah, it's to everything. Wah, wah, even to Nuella. They're all being fake. They go, you look so pretty. We know the bartender. Everyone's like, we know. It's like my name's Robert, but whatever.

Yeah. It's an actual Alfredo. He's like, so, you know, Emily's like, I love pinotos. Okay. So then, Sam and Caesar... I can't tell you how many times I've hit Shane with a whiff of ball bat, hoping that Candy would fall out of him. If I hit Shane one more time in the knees with a bat, someone's gonna call the police, but God damn it, he gives me a butterscotch every time. So yeah, so basically they go down the beach and it's like all set up and there's like some bros. So of course, Shad and it's like, I don't wanna remember how to do this. Some bros, some bros. Shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, shad, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, tasting and Emily's like, oh, I hope I don't turn into destructive Emily.

I'm like, no, that's the point. We've been waiting. You give it to us once every two years. We need every single episode, man. And then we see the clip of Emily just being drunk, horrible, Emily out of nowhere. This is my friend. We get all of it, like the yelling at Kelly Dodd,

you know, all of it. But then she goes that mini little bitch About McColl at the nobu party. That's my favorite So now Heather this is this oh it's 7.33 pm. It's time for me to do my toast to show that I've got I'm fun. Okay everyone I just want to say thank you. It's been a fun trip. Thank you. I haven't had this much fun since I had a guest star role in hot and Cleveland. Thank you, and I just want Ad Malibu country with Rebar McIntor, what was her name? Thank you, everyone, for coming. And me along the background while she's doing this, Shanna is just going, thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you. She just sounds like I'll win her back by just saying thank you a lot. Thank you, thank you, thank you lot. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Heather No one in tonight a woman in them subrero saying grassy us over and over again So then Heather's like okay, I learned this I learned this when I was growing up in Chapagua in the drama club When we clink we're going to send it around the table You will send this around the table No, where I come from, you slapped the person.

And Emily just slapped Gina. And Gina's like, you know, there was high. But you know what? Emily went hercules to help Nauwela and that sweat lodge. And I felt that. I'm gonna cry again because I'm remembering you guys crying. It was really hot for me. So everyone's like, what do you mean? What are you talking about? Crying in a sweat lodge.

So then they start getting into it. Noelle was like, when I was getting my awareness of the world, I thought I had died. I don't think those two concepts go well together. Usually if you're getting, you're not dying. And then Jens just like, how long will you pass out? I did an elliptical today.

She's like, I was dead for a like a minute. And she's like, yeah, I mean, it's not like super shocking. She was drinking, and then she went into a thing that was hot. And then she, like, passed out. What if a sweat lodge was just that you just get hugged by a Steve Lodge until you start sweating? That would be a whole different experience. I'm sorry, it's an election season because that Steve Chavez lodged you.

That's right, sorry. So they started talking about this and you know, Gina's like, Oh my God, I had to be before drinking. Whatever. What's it say? No, Gina and Emily decided to get up to go pee. And literally, this is not what Heather goes. It's everything OK?

Everything OK. OK. Send it around. I'm going to touch your foot. Send it around. Send it around. So yeah, Gina's like, you know what? I got to pee before we start drinking.

That's what she says. So Heather's like, yeah, you know what? You handled it well. But I don't have to do that because I had C-sections. So I don't have to worry about paying all the time everywhere. I was like, you disgusting natural burthers. LAUGHTER

And she's like, me too, never been in labor. I remember the day they said, sorry, ma'am, we're going to have to do C-sections. I said, I thought that was implied. So then she's like guess what Heather I cried for an hour today. She's like oh why did you cry? This wasn't on the schedule. My mother is now doing that stage with spring thing where she is conveying empathy. Why? Why were you crying fellow type vagina?

Why? And she's also going to do that thing where she leans in with one shoulder and also clasps it. What's going on? I love we finally got that guy down there. He been sitting in for two damn hours in this nasty show and I said type the Johnny's like, you're a good sport. Stay chugged. So yeah, Jens, yeah, it was really hard.

I had a breakdown in the gym. I cried for an hour. I just need validation from my husband. Everything's great with him until I need something. No, nothing's ever great with him. Why are you pretending? You don't even know your children's names barely. You're the one he was like, I'm never there Yeah, and Heather goes, well, he's not a mind reader or even a reader in general or even a reader in general.

Yeah, but like what am I supposed to do? Text him what to say to me ahead of time? Like give him a no card or something. Have you considered interviewing him in your in-home podcast studio? Yeah, but like I have asked him what he needs and he's like I need to find more time for him in the family. She's so disgusted. He's like, can you believe that? He asked me to spend time with the family, right? And she's like, doesn't, I'm gonna choke up.

Doesn't he realize you just for the family? I mean, I'm seeing patients all day long and how am I supposed to be in a accountant and Heather goes, oh, Terry, he says that stuff too. But of course, he's wildly more successful than you are. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, we're rich and Terry still works. So you know what he's saying?

I think that he's saying he needs more from you. I mean while Jen is just like her face is so still and these shoes were wearing such O.C. earrings, they're like clotheslines in a horror movie. You know like sheets hanging on a clotheslines in a horror movie. You know like she's hanging on a clothesline in a horror movie. Yeah. It's kind of dangling. Yeah. Like you see like the shape of a knife coming up behind her ear. And she's just like, uh, Jen, have a question. Have you offered to build a $15 million house for Ryan yet. That'll shut him up. So she's like, you know what you need to realize? You are in a partnership.

And she's like, oh my God, thank you so much. And meanwhile, the other end of the table, it's Noella saying, oh, I love baby corn. I love corn, baby corn. Baby corn. Shannon takes fun and she goes, K-S. And Noella goes, baby corn. And then on the screen, it says octopus. Shannon's like, Shannon's like, no, all you can think goes,

hmm, corn! Oh, I love corn with its eight years. Shadows like, well, I don't do octopus ever since I saw it. My octopus teacher, I was realized that. It's funny, if a man can show that much love for an octopus, it's amazing that David couldn't even show his smidge on that to me! What if I want to crawl on his chest? It's just sad and staring at the octopus and the octopus is like... David, David, they're pajamas sharks nearby. David, can you protect me? David, David, David, 30-40 negative pajamas sharks. Closing it on me. So some of the people go pee and then

Sam and it's like, wow, you know what we need to talk about? What happened last night? Do you remember when Emily got up and then she said, fuck you and then she walked away. But then Gina said, no, thank you. But then they were talking to someone, what's happening? Can someone explain what's happening? Where are we? Where are we?

I love you, Uncle Pucco. Pucco. Pucco. So she's bringing up this fight, which no one understood in the first place, right? So then, no one was like, they were trying to tell me what I do. Oh, what do you do? They tell me what I do. I'm getting very confused all over again. Never mind. I love corn Had this corn just squirted in me

I have this corn just squirted in me. So, so no one else's whole thing is that Gina said to her, you know what, this is what she'd do. And Shanah goes, ah, Gina said that to your face, Gina. Gina who called me a manipulator, that Gina, that same little bitch, Gina. Very happy to throw Gina under the bus here. Right. So Gina's like, we didn a minute, what happened yesterday? And I'm only like, remember, you got in the fine.

So Shannon's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we just had this conversation. And wait, I'm sorry, I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. I said, are you OK? And she said, you had a drink, you're good. And I said, OK, but are you over the hurt that caused you? Is anybody You just can't make me do it

What are you talking about? No one was like what's going on with Shannon right now? So no one's like no one here needs hope, you know does who needs help here? We're all good. It's an in Shannon I swear to God I'm not making this up Shannon goes well. I, I'm going to use the bathroom. And then there goes, are you OK? Like, Heather is never more panicked when someone needs to go to the bathroom. But it also makes sense in this context,

because Shannon's getting all worked up and no one knows why, right? So Gina's like, yeah, are you OK, Chuck? I'm good. And I was like, I'm good, too. We're all good. And Heather goes, I mean, literally, are we gonna do that this evening? Yeah, because Noel is not, I'm gonna, mother, and now Heather's getting mad.

Mother, now she's turning into the mother. And Noel goes, don't tell me what to do. Okay, I won't. Because I have no interest So Emily is like louder for the back. What did you say? What did you say say it again? Make her mad make her mad I Know I was like I'm feeling kind of provoked Lainey's

And I was like but you provoked her you can't provoke her and then say you don't want to follow through with it Like you get some fight you that's our scene. It's time. I'm having psych. I wish you the best. I wish you the best So no, I was like, all right. Well, I found out I was just a pity invite on this trip No, no, you weren't a pity invite you were a pita in fine I wanted to invite you and give you a pita bread. That's a wall You weren't a pity invite. That's not true. I didn't want to invite you because you gave my daughter pornography pornography

So we have to pause this recap for a moment because Ronnie found something or actually someone sent it. Do you have it on your phone? Did anyone see this? Do you have it on your phone? Did anyone see this? This, Ronnie showed this to me last night, and I was like, oh, so while Ronnie pulls this up, the issue, as we mentioned atop the show, they haven't been able to, they haven't set it on the show explicitly, but basically, it's cards against humanity,

it's the pride pack. I don't know if you guys know what cards against humanity is, but it's like a really vulgar kind of version of apples to apples. If you don't know what apples to apples are, well, then we're just going to... But it's a really vulgar version, and they come out with these expansions, and so Norella got the pride version of cards against humanity for Heather's daughter, and Heather's now I'm saying like, this is pornography. All right, so then, you know, Bravo fans, we're all fucking, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 30 hour like two or over house on YouTube. So someone dug through all that to find this and it's Heather showing off her her game closet Now, I'll be you ever listen. Everyone be listen. This is you but play it. He's gonna play it

Come on, we told them I tried to Games and Legos and everything all organized in these closets and Legos and everything all organized in these closets. I try to put games for Coco and the lower shelves, and then for the older kids, you know, the cards for humanity and what do you mean, those go a little higher. She gets her own daughter's pornography! Now, that is some petty evidence. I got it. Because cards against humanity is one thing. But cards against humanity for seawards or whatever the hell she ended up getting.

The credenza version, you know. I get that it's different. But it's still funny. Oh god, I love when that happens. It's so good. It's also just funny to see what Heather is still doing after all these years. You know, like, I put things on the low with Shelf or Coco. Cards and humanity, you know. Like all she does is show her shit off at all time. So then it's like, don't pornography. And Noah kind of drops the fakey bait because she's like, wait a minute.

Now I'm a sexual predator. Like what? What? pornography and Noah, that kind of drops the fakey bait because she's like wait a minute homosexual predator like what? What? Lady, right? That's the other's like the cards were very inappropriate and Noah's like that's your thing right now Like literally it's a card. It's a card deck that I purchased on Amazon as if that's somehow like it does You can't buy porn on Amazon I've tried you know how many things you cannot Okay fair fair point fair point there are so many dirty things you don't want to go out into the world you know you're like

I don't even want to say but you know It's like just think of something and type in an Amazon and say, oh no. Ha ha ha ha ha. Child labor, sure. Warning, Loub. Hell no, sir. Get a hold of yourself. So Heather's like, it was inappropriate for a 17-year-old.

Especially one that has written a book recently on sexuality. Please, it's not. Talk about this. She is applying for Sarah Lawrence and she cannot get in if they know she has cards against humanity, okay? So she's kind of giving Noella what she wants. Heather thinks she's really getting her, but Noelle is like, she's accusing me of giving her daughter pornography.

This is a whole new world, even for you. I then have this like, Gina, poor person, this is why I didn't want to talk about this. I know, and you know what? I didn't say nothing to nobody, but she has the right to say how she feels. You know what, I have the write to say how she feels. And the one I was like, what part of this are we not understanding?

I went on Amazon and I searched LGBTQ plus GIF. And Jen said, okay, well as someone who was on an elliptical machine earlier, just say I didn't know as offensive Ryan and I'm sorry, I'm trying to do more. Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I say something? No, you want to start problems with me. That's what it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Check. Okay, well, what I'm saying is, one of those things was very inappropriate. So you can just say, fuck, I didn't know, and then it's done.

Thank you, God. One sentence in this entire season. Thank you very much. And now, well, it has a new defense now. I got shoelaces. I got a shirt. By the way, if I'm 17-year-old, don't get me fucking shoelaces. See, I mean see is really just proving she's a terrible gift to get back like you want to come to my party?

Sure I went on Amazon got you a shitty game in some shoelaces. Yeah, she just clicked down the first things Thanks for the $3,000 play to food. So Emily is like listen to her perspective and she is like, listen to her perspective, and she's like, no, I'll let you guys. Oh no, how dare you. Listen, I don't think I can deal with your straight fragility right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Then Heather, my straight, fecility. Apparently it's a thing now. Apparently. How there's like, hold on, send this death glare around the table. So she goes, listen, I have a couple of gay children. Which I didn't know, I didn't, we were raising the numbers here. I have a couple of gay children and a plant that I think could be gay if it were a human. So don't tell me I have straight

fragility. Well I'm a bisexual, biracial, liberal woman who lives in Orange County. Don't you dare tell me I'm inappropriate. We're not debating that. What are either one of you saying? It's great. I'm like living it. I'm like, yes. Just dead into a lady about it.

So then Heather's like, I'm not saying you. No, you don't know me. No, no, no. She's just not there just like talking at each other. And I was like, your gift was in her preparation. As a bisexual woman to her, what? I bought a bisexual daughter something that was in a pro- Are you saying that I bought an inappropriate thing for a bisexual daughter? Right, so she's going like doing the whole I'm bisexual, I have to air you.

So Heather's like, well I'm assuming that you didn't look at the cards. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. And Nuala goes, they were in a beautiful hologram seal. Oh! Beautiful. So, I mean, you just accused her of getting your kid porn heather. But, okay, so Heather is not gonna win this one and Nuella really is not gonna stop.

So Heather just goes, you know what whatever man And so she's like I'm gonna read some of these so she pulls out her phone and she's like here's one of them Licking that pussy man Ashole dirty Sanchez in my face down my throat 30 Sanchez in my face down my throat Gezzle it till I come out my ear drops. It's like what? Anacredenza. Anacredenza. Ever.

As a noelle, it's like, don't you dare. I'm a bisexual. Oh, oh, oh, okay, oh, okay, oh, sorry. Yeah. Team back, you're a pussy full of the In a dirty Sanchez asshole kid puppy. It's like, ever. Please. I know. It's like Heather. Heather, please. Please. I know well as I.

Oh my god. I'm awful. I thought the hologram was going to be classier. Yeah. OK. It's all. And it's like, hey, that's her child. So the Heather goes, she's like, when you buy a gift for a minor, you need to know what's

going on, okay? I have four children, all of different sexual orientations. I also have a train. It's called the gate train. I'm just bringing in the gate children by the train loads. It's like the polar express. But for gay kids, little gay kids. But the same pornography. Listen, I mean, you have a lot of kids. I mean I have a young child so I get it. Okay, so they're cheating. It goes me too. I got it too. I like cats. The hats make you bisexual. So others like I have 97 kids of 36 sexual orientations.

I'm supportive of every single one of them. Even the pixie, and I don't know what the fuck that even is. All right, and it has nothing to do with that. So please don't pull a card off Amazon in that space. Like, I'm not understanding of bytron, I quad, triple, double, sexualities, okay? I literally just paid to have a book written about it for my child. So then Heather says, then Heather tells us, this is what I was worried about with Noella.

She's so calculated, she has all these things in her back pocket that if she gets in trouble, she's gonna say. So Heather just basically said that she's worried that Noella's gonna pull the race card and the sexuality card, right? Am I getting that correct? Yeah, she did say that.

So did Heather just kind of pull a Ramona singer but in a much richer way? Because that's kind of the thing. The whole argument is like about it. The whole argument is fucked up because Heather is being overly dramatic about calling. These are, it's not pornography, but probably in a, I don't know, I don't know what kids, I don't know.

I don't know, moms, if you think, do you think cards against humanity inappropriate for a 17 year old? I really don't know. Oh. Mixed, mixed response, mixed response. But the point is, they're both using this. It's not that it's inappropriate for a 17 year old I really don't know. Mixed, mixed response, mixed response. But the point is that they're both using this. It's not that it's inappropriate for a 17 year old. It's the adult that's giving it to them.

You know what I mean? You know your kids been jerking off forever, but you don't want one of your friends being like, he's some, you know. The point is that they're both using this to get on their high horses and it's great. It's hilarious to me and no well It's like yeah, she's just saying this because I'm bisexual and they give it to her bisexual

Not it they're both kukko. You know how there's like that was very nice, but she's a child And it was very inappropriate, which I don't think you understand No, it's like deeply deeply assaulting that was No, I was like deeply deeply assaulting that was No, I was like thank you are we done. I didn't know I'm sorry I'm like no well you actually kind of just won this argument because you showed that you heard it and you were shame Not shame, but like you were like you felt bad and like just when Noah's like about to like take like so Like when this one she turns into a little brat again, and she's like, I didn't know I'm sorry Well, thank you very much.

Sorry, Don. Thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. Are we done? OK, we're done. Done, done.

We are done. That was the episode, guys. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for, guys. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming out on an icy Friday night. Yes, thank you guys. Have a great night. Watch what crap is, would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

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