Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Like Possum, Like Possum

Episode Date: November 14, 2019

This episode is available in video form on Patreon as part of Crappens On Demand This week's Real Housewives of Orange County centers around the kids. Ryan goes to therapy cuz Tamra's a real good mom mkay? Also, Shannon tries to let Tamra have it but the tables are turned faster than David could passively aggressively eat a bag of Kettle Crisps. become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available plus we re-released our Ramona Christmas and Chanukah gear at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Indianapolis, Chicago (early and late show), NYC, St Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles (The Crappies), Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!), Houston, NOLA, Birmingham, Vancouver and Oklahoma! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Me and Ben. So go over there. Then the next night, we're going to be doing two shows in Chicago, which are sold out. But if you guys are coming to that, here's what we're doing. We're going to be recording first, Real House was New Jersey, as well. And then after that, we're doing a classic episode

of Real Housewives of New York. It's the one, the first one I think where they went to the Berkshire's and Ramona. Who are you to get me wet? What's the season number and episode number that been? It's season six, episode two. I'm sorry, season six, episode 10. It's called Bon Voyage Ramona. Six?

Ten. Hold on, look at that down there. It's like a Ramona. It is a Ramona extravaganza. Yeah, so that's going to be a blast. So we'll see you there. We also just announced a show in Oklahoma City. So everybody, go get tickets.

You know where you find these tickets and watch your crap at the top. Okay, you're also going to find tickets for all these live shows coming up. Are you ready? I'm going to list them. So after Chicago, go ahead. I said, whoa, here we go. said, whoa, here we go. Oh, whoa, here we go. So after Chicago, the very next week,

we are going to be in New York City for two shows at the Grammar City Theater. Those are Russell Batsars. Then we're going to St. Louis, Philadelphia. The late show at Philadelphia still has a few tickets left. Then we're going to Denver, Colorado, Seattle, Washington, then in January, we're going to Denver, Colorado, Seattle, Washington, then in January, we're going to have the 2020 Golden Crapie Awards in Los Angeles, California. It's going to be amazing.

That's going to be our biggest crappies yet. So go get your tickets. Detroit, Columbus, two shows in Austin, a show in Houston the next night. Then Birmingham or Slash Hoover, Alabama, however you prefer to call it. Then New Orleans, Kansas City, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, and Oklahoma City. You guys, we're so excited. We're loving this traveling and winters a total horror. So I can't wait to see what winter does in each different place to me. We're saying America, we really are.

I mean, it's so exciting. I wish we were doing a show amount rush more Give it time Ben. We perform anywhere. Okay. We are literally going to be performing our Mount Rushmore next Yeah, just like being shady under presidents faces. Yeah, you have an opening in a rest stop. We're there This this is a video today. It's a video video recap it's available on crap and so on demand and we you know those of you at home are lucky enough to see us both in light blue shirts were just winning today i know and look by the way you have amazing lighting going on look at your amazing daylight happening in your wherever you are and on top of that you're looking quite skinny ronnie

thank you to know what i did what i put a camera very high and I aimed it above my muffin top So there's a person home everybody. Well, it's looking good and you're wearing a very slimming shirt, too. Thanks. I am Yeah, no you look great. You look great. And I think everyone should go look at Ronnie right now So Literally have a must-a-pound. I would like to thank the logitech camera for its little abilities. Thank you for tick. All right, so today everybody, oh yeah, and also go get t-shirts because Shannon Badole Bulldoor is a really good Christmas gift. There's

also dork shirts, torreps shirts, and when life gives you tacos, make taco salads, and we just re-released our Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah shirts. There is a ho ho ho. Okay. Ramona and Assanta Hat shirt, Ramona and Assanta Hat leggings, and a happy Ramona Cup with Ramona as the Jewish candle. Minora. Minora, I'm so ignorant. You know what's bad about?

I'm not ignorant about Jewish things. I'm just ignorant in general. So don't get offended. But those are up at watchupcrapins.com. So go get those. Now, enough of that shilling. Today, we are talking about Real Housewives of Orange County. Yes.

Wow. Well, this episode was mainly about, seems like mothers and children. That was like the theme going through it, parenting, et cetera, et cetera, which was fine. But the real phone was watching Tamra work her evil ways on Shannon. You know, last week, last week, we were celebrating that the women finally realized that Tamra was the root of all evil. That Tamra was the one who's starting all the shit. She was the master manipulator. And it looked like for a moment that Shannon was turning,

like she was suddenly realizing that her best friend was evil. But we knew it was only gonna take a moment for Tamara to spin it the other way, because Tamara is a master manipulator, and you can only be a master manipulator. If you've got a good, if you've got a good peon, and I mean Shannon is just the peon of all peons

when it comes to someone like Tamara Well, I think that Shannon knows that Tamara is the most evil. She's just nice to her because she sees what Shannon does I mean what Tamara does to everyone's lives when they fuck with her, so well Yeah, but Shannon also clearly is like whatever's gone on in her life She easily falls into the role of sort of like the Sort of like the abused one. Like, I'm not necessarily saying physically, but she's the one who will fall into like a codependent mentally abusive, emotionally abusive relationship. And Tamara has stepped into that role

of David Bedore as we see later in the episode, I think. Tamara's basically like spiritually, Tamara's just sitting there eating chips right in Janice face That's basically what's going on so spiritual a little bit of that So this episode is called the orange doesn't fall far from the tree Okay, which is really cute. I don't want a cute title for Ryan fuck you Ryan Guess who I don't know sorry for well, you know what? I'm gonna take that back Because I actually found myself kind of feeling for Ryan because when people are talking about depression and like Like a list of things that are wrong, which were pretty basic, you know, but still like depression is pretty basic Guess what?

And so I did kind of feel bad for him and then I thought Ronnie you're not Talking about normal people with depression. You're talking about a fucking monster with depression Yeah, who just a couple of months ago was saying, why don't we kill trans people or whatever? Yeah, being depressed doesn't mean that you are like, you can be depressed and also have progressive views, you know. Yes. And guess what? Guess who else is depressed?

Serial killers. And they kill a lot of people. So, fuck you. I'm not going to feel sorry for you either, serial killers. What do you think of that? I mean, I felt a little bad, you know, because it's one thing of we're saying that he's hopeless in a bad person, but I kind of feel bad if he's saying that about himself too, you know. That's true, yeah.

Um, yeah, I feel bad for that in general, but yeah, I don't want to watch Ryan cry, basically. This was actually, yeah, I don't want to watch Ryan cry only because I'd rather watch other people cry. And the thing is that this was actually his, truly his, probably his best moment of all time. Like the one time he had a perfect read on reality was his list about himself. So anyway, I'm so mean. So mean.

So mean. I was like, how are we gonna brush this today? What is our sensitivity level? Because I've been listening to the Oprah Winfrey podcast. I'm a sucker like that. And it's the Eckhart toll power of now. Like it's kind of a book club type thing where they go through a chapter by chapter and she's actually talking to him about it. And it's so good. And it really is about, it's just such a good, I just love it.

And I was feeling so peaceful. And they were listing all the things that are make you what you're doing wrong basically, like what the ego is and like being overly critical and judgmental and how that, you know, basically everything in my personality is a problem. And so I was driving here to do this today and I was like, well, what am I gonna do?

And then I was like, you know what, Rome wasn't built today. Maybe I can stop complaining like in 10 years, but for today, I'm just listening to the fucking podcast. Give me my cookie. So today, fuck you, Ryan. Go fuck yourself. And I don't care if it's my ego talking. Fuck you. You know what? I mean, I mean, I, I for real for real. I mean, there is obviously an empathetic part of me. That's like, you know, if someone is like, he is in a throes of depression, he did have tamara as a mom, and that does, that's hard, that sucks, and it's like life is hard that way.

And so I, you know, like, you know, a super empathetic side of me can say, well, you know, when he is abusive or yells and threatens his ex's wife. That's really just coming from the hate he feels for himself, whatever, which is sad. So there's part of me that can understand that, but then part of me is like, yeah,

but you're still threatening your ex and you're saying hateful things about trans people and saying really racist or racially changed comments on social media. And that, honestly, you may be depressed, whatever, but there are a lot of people who are depressed who don't do those things. Yeah, there's a lot of bad stuff that has a reason for being like sewers or filled with poop because humans have to poop.

And so we figured out we can put our poop someplace that it's not bothering us and it totally makes sense and I get sewers but I don't want to swim in a sewer. So basically I'm staying get off my screen right. Yeah, understand the sewer, but I don't have to like, I don't want to see it about it. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to get in my living room. Okay. So the orange doesn't fall far from the tree. Gross.

So it's almost two years since you talked to mom, okay, so that was the previously hit cares. We start, like we normally start, people surfing and people riding skateboards. And I just think, do people really do that all the time in the orange canning? Cause that's all you see on here is people skateboarding. You know, it's a very unsafe town,

surfing a skateboarding. You guys care about your lives more, how about that? I feel like what's missing is like stock footage of people going to Hollister and stock footage of people seeing like Papa Roach in concert. Yeah, it's the death leopard playing over and over again in a few months that we're missing. Yeah.

So honey, I'm home. It's Brian's, Brian, it's Brian Kelly's ex-boyfriend who was just full of, you know, at first I was like, he's really nice. And like, I like that he always has good advice for Kelly. At this point, he's just mansplaining the most obvious things and I don't like it. Right. Although he doesn't seem to be able to mansplain a turban. That's beyond his grasp, because he walks in and Kelly is wearing a turban. And he's like, what is this? Bad hair day, gonna tell my future.

And Kelly's basically like, no, you're a door. Like, hello, there's the biggest thing on runway right now. It's in Milan, Gucci does it. It's an ex-fix fashion thing. What is it doing in Orange County? You're doing? I know, that sounds like, yeah, this is, it's, you made it's you made what you it's not this is not the place for it. Yeah, Orange County So Emily comes in basically to gang up on Kelly, which is kind of funny Emily's really mean to Kelly

how she comes in she's like and They hug and everything and Kelly's like And Brian tells Emily I've heard good things about you and Kelly's like of You said that looks like a psychic! And Brian tells Emily, I've heard good things about you and Kelly's like, of course, because you've never done anything to me! So then right away, Emily goes, Oh, look at this, we got a doctor here, we got a lawyer here, and then we've got Kelly. Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh There's probably a, it was probably recycled from when she and her lawyer friends get

around like hang out with Shane. Well, look at this. We got Mew past the bar and Joanne who passed the bar and Shane. And Shane who literally won't even pass a bar. Yeah, he will not go by a bar. So they're making fun of Kelly. And Kelly looks offended for two seconds, but then remembers her other options, which are basically tamarind channel. So then she starts being nice, you know. Exactly. So I'm least talking about how she's

been working on copyright law lately because it works better for her lifestyle. And which by that, that's I feel like I've never heard that about copyright law in general like I do copyright law because it works with my lifestyle. But Brian and then to talk about Brian and how he has never been married and has actually never proposed. It's just like a bunch of like like chatter before we get to the really good stuff like the gossip. Yes.

So Emily brings up the Tamarist stuff and she's like well you know that was Shannon who brought that up and Kelly's like, yeah, Tamara took and twisted it turned to something is not Yeah, and they're just talking about how like you know Kelly is talking about how Tamra is just like the worst and how You know every morning Kelly and Tamra would like cut with speak on the phone and talk to you about shenan because shenan noise them so much and this is why you know Kelly is feeling so betrayed because they were talk every morning she's like I feel like I could talk to her you know and for some reason the camera just like zooms right in our boobs when they she said that which I don't know why that happened

but that's bravo I feel sometimes like Andy Cohen is running the cameras like from Yes, like you know the guy who owns all the cheesecake factories if you ever heard He's a sufi or a soft a sufi I think they're called and you know Which is I think like a gluttonous religion of hippies. That's how I was explained to him by my mother Who's very knowledgeable about religions and he sits in his big mansion and watches all the cheesecake factories on monitors. That's what I've always heard That's the rumor anyway. I think that's how Andy is he I just imagine him with a lot of cheesecake factory They probably doesn't eat cuz he looks like a hot body And then he just sees videos of all of the housewives going on and he's just like just goes to his natural instinct

Which is what have you been doing with your bones? What are you budgets doing? I just like the idea that the cheesecake factory is like inspired by sliver. Like wow. It's like an overeater sliver, you know, it's like a feeder sliver where you just have videos of people that you're making fat on purpose. Humbernickel sliver, I feel like I should be listening to that UB40 song. There are gonna be people who have no idea what we're talking about.

That's okay. I think I explained it to you. It's like 30 years old now. Yes, liver is very old and this thing about the cheesecake factory. I don't even know where I heard that. That could be totally made out. But it's how it is. That's how it is. I love it, though. Yeah, and I've just always sought that. And every time I eat there, whenever you look up, look up up There's cameras everywhere there and you know that guys just oh my god. Yeah eat it Ronnie Probably engineering all those all those lines all those long lines There's probably like a secret code in the menu if you can get through all 65 pages of it

You realize there's like a hint to a treasure that he's hidden somewhere on this problem. So Brian is listening to them gossip and he's like, well, Kelly, you can't control how other people are going to act, but you can't control how you react. Oh, shut up. No one asked you, man. Splain. Okay, be quiet over there. Yeah.

So then now Tamragos and meets up with Gina at some coffee shop. And Gina's wearing gay pride earrings out of season, which I feel like I should respect it, but it annoyed me, you know? And so they're like talking and doing like, so how is the atriptianna and Tamragos like my trip sucked. Okay. I was supposed to like, it's supposed to be relaxation. And instead I get, I didn't get a call from Shannon and on top of that

Kelly, is that me? I'm not your text. Yes. Now pinning down Tamra is notoriously difficult. It's very very difficult to pin down Tamra even when she's on camera doing shit wrong constantly because first she does this, she gets a belligerent. Like, Jean, I didn't do anything. Check. Tama, how you're better. But then once she is finally caught and she can't get out of it, she runs. She takes off her shoes and she runs and says things like, you'll never see it again. And then becomes a huge victim. So I'm excited to see how this goes. Yeah.

And basically, Tamara is saying how Eddie took her on this trip because he wanted tamra to get away from everything wants me to relax and like what is going on in tamras what are you doing tamra no kidding tamra was it from your nine to five yeah like tamra just so busy wiping down you know pet patolas what. What are those? Like what are those? Pylotons. Pylotons. But they're probably they're actually a cut finesse. They're probably a petolos. They're like, well, we couldn't afford pelotons, but we have petolas. They have pelotons. Just try not to trip on the warped floors on your way over to them. They're uneven floors. Just walking on their uneven floors is like its own peloton. It really is. That's the work out at

cut fitness. Like walking over the bad construction. Exactly. So three days earlier, we get a flashback, and Gina had dinner with Shannon. And you know, because Gina's trying to tell Tamara what's going on in Shannon's head. So we see a flashback, and we just see Shannon go, Kelly says that Tamara says that I'm getting fat again. She says that I didn't need to go to the ER, and when we go on our big trip, Kelly says, the tamer says that I'm getting fat again. She says that I didn't need to go to the yard, and when we go on our big trip, she says,

let's be Gina, Kelly, now I said, what about me? She says, not Shannon. Huh. Who does it want me to serve, who made? Am I getting fat again? So tamer's like, oh really, it makes zero sense. It's like, how does it make zero sense? You literally said all of those things.

And so then we cut back to Emily, and Emily's like, well, she knows your mad. Tamer knows your mad, right? And Kelly goes, oh yeah, I threatened her real good. I threatened her. Kelly's like, Kelly's that kind of client you never want to take the stand because she'll just like brag about the crime

Yeah, she's that one where you know like in in movies where someone says But you said you were a Ben and Jerry's but our records indicate that you were at a valvley Fine, I did it you're a door. I did it fine. Fine. I was at the tennis court I killed him with a tennis racket with a knife on top of it. I did it like whoa We were just saying you're a valv developing not at Ben and Jerry's, but okay. Great. It's the shortest episode of Murdershi Road ever. It just starts with Kelly just compessing on accident.

I, it would be. Yeah, what's her face would be like. So why were you at Ben and Jerry's? Fine, I killed him. What do you want? You crazy old lady? Get out of my face or stew, but you're a wh Jerry's Fine, I killed him. What do you want? You crazy old lady? Get out my face or stoop in your whore Kelly, darling, new neighbor

Now I cannot believe you've been accused of murder at the se- I did it! I did it at the se- Ron! Dear Marty, kill the mean disordered you stupid! I get your old lady right or face out of my face You're the first neighbor I've ever had this actually guilty I've had a lot of not guilty neighbors Everyone all of her neighbors are just accused of murder at all times We're keeping it current today guys. Okay anything

Bassy I was trying to work in I really was trying to work in a picket fences reference I was like how can I do this because Kathy Baker's been top of mind because in the bonus episode which we just posted We talk extensively about the stupid movie the art of driving in the rain or whatever it is with a gold trigger me do not start to trigger here's an anti trigger one thing I did not mention about the movie is that Kathy Baker is in it so there's a lot of Kathy Baker which I appreciate. Well I told her I loved her once and she was naughty to me. That was a waiter. Can't the baker was not it you kind of she's like Thank like thank you like I'm eating like it was and you know a waiter is not supposed to say I love you That I get it

But it was at the end of her meal and her husband was talking to some other boring old guy She looked bored as hell so I was like well that'll be entertainment for her to be loved and she was like She was just acting like it happens to her 30 times a day. And I was like, fuck, she went from being my hero to me being like, fuck you, Kathy Baker. I'm only Kathy Bates from now on. You know, maybe she was in character. You know, the thing is this is that Hollywood has been sleeping on her because Kathy Baker has played, you know, like sturdy, moderately types for a long time. But I feel like her greatest work was in Edward Siserhands where she played like a like a like a horny vamp, like truly the original real house wife of Orange County, and I feel like we need more roles like that for Kathy Baker.

And in fact, how blessed were we that we had a movie that had Kathy Baker and Diane weased in it both at the same time? That is amazing. We have not we have not appreciated that enough. Well, praise Jesus. Praise Jesus. Okay. So next up is, there's still,

there are basically Tamra's super mad, right? Is that where we are? Yeah, so Tamra's reading Kelly's text. And the Tumra Neetunes this week. I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about half the time. I just kind of kind of come back to myself. These. I would love Tamra at the Peach M hearings. Like, ma'am, could you read the text that Kelly Dodd sent you? Yes, this is what she said.

She said, you bring up my shit up. You bring my shit up and bullshit. It's not even true. I've had your back, so you want to play your games? It's on girl. It really is actually on girl. It really is like the impeachment hearings to be honest. Go fish, bitch. Then. So, Juno's like, so what

is Shannon's say to make Kelly act like that? So already. Yeah. And Tamragas. Bingo! Which is another game. And Tamer is... Thank you. And then we cut back to the other conversation with Emily and Kelly and all them. And Brian's going, You know what? It sounds to me. Like Tamer is just trying to push your button. Thanks Brian. Brian, why don't you hear Brian?

You have a job. Go get out. But Emily is like, Yeah, but Tamer pushes Kelly's buns to use it on other people and then she sits back with clean hands And I was like thank you. Thank you for finally saying what we've been saying on this podcast for years and years and years Thank you for articulating this at last and Brian's like well I think that makes her a puppet master right which is official Brian watches real housewives So which is official Brian watches Real Housewives. Okay? That's who else is that. And it's like, see, he's the pump and master. He's the pump and master. He's the pump and master.

Yeah, I'm a pump it. Put me on Sesame Street, okay? Because almost a door. So now Tamra's starting to do her pity party thing. The whole reason why she had to go to Arizona to unwind, even though that's what she literally did three weeks ago on the show. So, Tamer is like, I'm not good. You don't understand. It was a fucked up weekend batch. Eddie took me away because I've been so overly stressed. I have it all so now. Okay, Ryan started therapy.

My daughter Sophia went with her dad. It was Sydney in college, and it's just hot. I should be there. I'm like, no, I don't think any institute of higher education wants you there. Okay, you should not be there. Okay. Yeah. You've done all that stuff you listed,

you did to yourself, by the way. Yeah, so if you can't deal with your son being in therapy and your daughter going to college and that mandate, it's having to go to like camel back mountain in Phoenix, like you need to rethink your priorities. Well, she's mad because she can't deal with your son being in therapy and your daughter going to college and that mandate's having to go to like camel back mountain in Phoenix Like you need to rethink your priorities Well she's mad because she can't go to college because Sydney still won't talk to her right like she's not a lot of there which he Right Basically, you're still goop you're still goop off

So Gina is That's like I don't know what that goop off of that spray Oh, I thought you meant like she got kicked off of like the goop website. I was like, wow, we have to take this up with Gweneth I'm a kick off goop. They're like, Tamara was a commenter at goop, but we raised her so she's the in the goop troll Like this hand cream is for sloth like Kelly dog that's signed T. M. Raya This hand cream is for sloth like Kelly dog that side T. M. Raya So Gina's like you should talk to Shannon and she says, but she got Shannon She doesn't like that on Facebook cover. I'm a feeling she's behind this. Okay. Hey, yeah, it's your right be

Everything that was just said you said like who are you gonna blame you said it? You did all of these things Ram Yeah, yeah, well it's a classic camera where she's like what about what I'm going through and I can't believe Shannon didn't check in with me blah blah blah blah blah so she's she I mean this is why she's the puppet master because she lays on the guilt and this and that and Shannon shows it up for her etc etc. She's not a master she's not that good that good. She's just a dick, okay? She's like, you know what, she's not a puppet master,

but she's like, you go to a museum and they're doing some performance with Mary Annette's and you're like, like, when you're a kid and your mom makes you watch the Mary Annette show about like, DaVinci or something painting you're like, mom, this is like the worst. You know.

I'm trying to sit in through that shit. I was the same thing as a kid. I was the same way as a kid as I am now. I was just like, bye. I'll be science sitting through that shit. I was the same thing as a kid. I was the same way as a kid as I am now. I was just like, bye, I'll be outside speaking. I don't want to see I don't want to see a Marinette show with a flute playing. Okay, and that's what that's what that's what she is.

Shannon Bum flute and Tamer's got the Marinettes. It's like yeah, a pop master, but like really low stakes. Like green. I like the name Marry that. It's like a name and a pup. I don't like it. Yeah, a pop master, but like really low stakes. Like green. So the mic to name Mary and that. It's like a name and a pup. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like it.

I've never liked Mary and that's to be honest. I'm not. I honestly, maybe I'll accept him to buy, buy, buy video, but other than that, I just look at Mary and that people and I'm like, don't you have anything better to do? Like, how is this an art form? You're doing this. You're literally just doing this.

Am I supposed to enjoy this super bouncy puppet? And on top of that, like, Marinets are always, they're always like so renaissancei, which I, if you're like a renfair person, that's cool, but can we get some variety? It's always like some strange person that looks like they're in saw. You know, it looks like the saw guy, but like telling a tale

about mother, mother went to the well guy, but like telling a tale about Mother Mother went to the well and we haven't seen her. What do we do? Yeah, I never understood why Sesame Street always got so much credit because remember the Mary that part or those just regular puppets with scary faces I don't remember Mary no remember they would cut to the king and that wasn't that wasn't that mr. Rogers maybe I don't know hated them all Okay, I didn't have to be us growing up. Guess what we just wasted a lot of time talking about marrying that So guess what we can make it up in this scene cuz it's steaming no, I know no I have bad news for you Ronnie I have something to harp on I have something to harp on okay your sabotaging it's a quick harping band

It's a quick harping. It's a quick harping. It's a quick harp. Not to be confused. I also hate harps. I like harps. I like harps. I do not like hipster harps though. So, um, and that's a thing. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story

that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world,

listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Okay, then I don't really hate our, so I'm just snipped weird mood. So Bronwyn's house, so we go to a scene, and there's this like crane, like overhead crane shot at Bronwyn's house. Okay. And this is the first of my stop to look at the back.

Yeah. What? This is laughing at you. There's a huge crane overhead. Okay. Setting the seat. So she has some cypress trees that are out of control. Okay.

These things are so tall and there's so much taller than her house and they're so like out. Like if you look at them they look crazy, these crazy cypress trees and on top of that they have like three like plate like a plate ground things in their backyard there's a geodesic dome and then there's like what do you call like big toys that she has a big toy and then another big toy like what is going on in that backyard brown wind there's too many play things get it. I like the things that brown wind just really likes you and wanted to give you a chance to say geodesic

personally. I would take it as a compliment. I mean as a kid I would love it but I just don't know why you have to have two different big toys. Yeah, that's a lot. But it's like trying to cut a tree in California. I'm sure the cypresses started off like normal size, but like this shot, they were just like so big and they're like Waving in the air and I'm like, I don't know why they have Cypresses. You're great. I wouldn't mind I wouldn't mind any other tree But for some reason those Cypresses they got under my skin a little bit. I want you to go back and look at it. They'll annoy you Okay, I love tree annoyance. I'm doubtful. I never thought I'd be so annoyed by cypress trees. Yeah, but they got me.

I'm with you. I'm with you just because I love you. So now I'm going to go back and watch cypress trees. But I'm, by the way, I'm pretty angry at the cypress trees. You get pre-angry. I have to say, I did like the geodesic dome, though. That was cool. Okay, you got to say it again. Thank you, Bronwyn

What is it Ben's birthday or what I'm too lazy to even Google that so I'm just gonna Don't miss just like the it's like a dome. It's like a like a but it's cut. It's sort of like It's like a you know when you see a dome, but it's not circular. It's made of like triangles. Yes They can't say geodesic without almost saying yes Geo yes, I Okay, so I don't care they're taking their kid to college and then they're saying things like what do you mean? You're sick stop self sabotaging yourself. She's sabotaging

sabotage sabotaging yourself sabotaging sabotaging sabotaging oh god. Oh god. It's happening. She's sabotaging this new Vogue parenting here's what happens when I was in the car on the way to not look at college just on the way to car In the car the way to something saying I felt sick my mom would say shut the fuck up. You're going to school How about that you brat your brat?ittarius stop sabotaging my junior league life Because I'm not staying at home today while you fake being sick You were too lazy to do your goddamn homework stop taking away my life Ronnie's sabotaging he's sabotaging everyone. I'm so sorry. He's sabotaging. Can we? Should we turn this podcast around? I think I don't think today's the day he should start podcasting honey Don't worry. I've got a giant necklace in a some sort of tribal swirl that nobody

understands. Everything's going to be fine. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shannon is with her kid now talking about college. Oh, oh, you get ready from you get ready Ronnie. So Sophia's doing that thing where she's like, oh my God, a lot of people don't go to colleges and they don't go to college college and they're billionaires right now and Chandler's like That's not the case at USC University of special children not spoiled children Kelly dad So by the way, we have to give a shout out to Archie who had a really so cute, so cute, gorgeous dog who just had a long close up at the beginning of the scene and I love Archie. Archie is one of my favorite dog.

Yeah, he's great. He's got such a cute face and you notice that no one plays with their dog on this show. Well, we saw Shannon play with Archie one time, but in general, no one plays with them. He's just like sitting there staring. No one will pay attention to him. Also, like Bueller, that little blob in the back, same thing. You can't see Bueller, because you blurred out your background. Like, you look like you're in Kelly Dodds apartment, by the way,

because when they were in Kelly Dodds apartment, every piece of art was blurred out, and it was, since we're all big pieces of art, it was like basically the way you look right now, just like floating in like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's trademarked by, uh, yes, he's not licensed to be on this podcast. Yeah. I don't know why I like that blur feature in the background, but I like it. I, I like it too, but I feel like it always does weird things to me. So.

Yeah. So I like that. So, so, uh, anyway, they're talking about college and what set you off of the scene? Everything. So many things about the whole process, this scene and also later on with the counselor. So basically Shannon is hiring a counselor to help Sophie get into college, et cetera, because she's 17. And she's like, all right, so Sophie, what are your requirements for college? And Sophie's like, well, I want a lot of school spirit. I was like, okay, that's okay. Number one, school spirit is number one. Okay, that's exciting.

Okay, she's like, and a good Greek life. I was like, mm-hmm, okay. And then she's like, and good gateways to life after college. I'm like, okay, have you considered academics, a nice dorm room, a quality of life, academics again? Anything like that? No, no. School spirit. She wants to get Southern boy. That's Southern boy. That was Southern. Runner up is southern boy. So academics doesn't even make it to run a rough status.

Yeah, southern boys are the runner up status. She goes, yeah, really good southern guy. That's really. Sophie, you're killing me. You're killing me. Sophie, why? Why school spirit? I mean, every school has school spirit for the most part.

Because she's really like, she's really into church lately. Sophie, I mean, we know this only from Instagram. They don't put it on the show, but she's, no, she was singing with her church. They showed her singing. Oh, no, no, no, it's like real. It's like real life. Like I go to church and I just like blur it out. I'm like, stop asking me for a, just stop asking me for money. Stop it. But, um, yeah. So she's real churchy and stuff. So I don't know, she's very into the spirit is my point. Okay. She's, yeah.

School spirit, general spirits. Sophie, Sophie. So anyway, we then cut over to, we go back to Cal State Fullerton where Bronwyn and Bella are like walking around and stuff and Bronwyn's basically saying that she and Sean got engaged and basically locked it down by the time they were 18 and that's she's like that's really my only regret and also having a mother who clearly didn't care for me mother She's just walking around with a chalkboard that says regrets regrets There's not a chalkboard large enough for who write all my regrets I have mainly about

my mother and also about locking the down a day. So it's time for Yosefah, the college prep counselor. Young Jules Aaron is I like to call her. She does look like Jules Aaron. She looked like Jules Aaron. She did. So Shannon, everybody's been asking this season, are any of the Orange County House was going to get in trouble for this college admission scandal? And I can't believe they haven't. And Shannon is like, well, it's expensive to have a college

counselor. I know people in Newport Beach and you've got to pay thousands, literally thousands, thousands of dollars. I will do anything to get my kids in the college that be doissered above the, what I was going to say is we're not above the law. No. We are not above the law. We are above sugar and added sweeteners, but we are not above the law. And when my child eventually decides that USC is going to be the home for her

We will do whatever it takes legally To pay someone to get her in. I mean I think I said that wrong. I said we are going. She have someone right her ass No, no, no School spirit school spirit Felicity half-method be here in about 10 minutes to help us study. So we are sorry we have to go watch some episodes of Pull House. God we just love that aunt Becky. Surely nothing will happen by the time between the time we shoot this and the time it airs.

So I hate seeing that Instagram has now leaked even into college admissions, like Instagram speak, because they're like, what's important to get in? And Yosef was like, well, you know, standardized testing, OBS, and then branding yourself. Super important to brand yourself. And I was like, you know what? Go fuck yourself with that.

Brands yourself, come on. Yeah. So I mean, obviously you do, you have to, obviously for college admissions, you do have to position yourself and like, you know, you got to pitch yourself a little while you think it'd be a good candidate. You know, you don't want to be just like, well, I do this class, this class back at the grade. So like, but to hear it said, like, you're a brand, just made it seem so transactional, which we may be fooling ourselves at thinking that it's not transactional.

But it was just such a cynical moment. I think we all were just like, ugh. Yeah, here's my branding, okay? My GPA is a 4.0, I'm rich, and I wanna go to your school, you're welcome. I'm the customer. How about you brand yourself?

Well, the thing with all this talk, they made it sound like she was applying for like an elite, like tiny liberal arts college, like Amherst or like Middlebury or something like that or Wesleyan. So like, someplace that's like just like, you know, really, really, really hard to get into and then they're like, okay, so what's her number and choice? She's like, University of Texas at Austin. I'm like, isn't that school have like 60,000 people in it? I mean, I don't know how to say that. That's not an easy school.

How do you think school is? No, it's a good school. Let me tell you something. It's a really good school, but I mean, I feel like it's a big school. I feel like big schools. I don't feel like maybe. Whoa, you're gonna have some. You're gonna have some burnt orange up your ass.

Listen, I have a lot of friends who went to UT. I know people who went to UT. You know, like I haven't done a had a friend. You know, they're making it sound like she's trying to get into a school that has like 12 people in it, you know? Well, here's our art school to get into hogwarts, and that's the only one worth giving a fuck about. Okay.

They have the best jackets in the only school like Harry Potter. Quidditch doesn't make sense to me. Can we talk about this also? Quidditch? I mean, it's not the fact that it's on brooms. No, but okay, it's not that part. So they try to fly on an eye robot. Try that. Try being a part of the crap in his try to fly on an i-ro bot try that try being a part

of the crappin's family get on an i-ro bot Harry Potter well here's the thing okay i i remember i saw the movie i didn't read the book i but i saw the movie and they flow the flu round and they're like the hitting the ball back and forth which is cool and then at an arbitrary moment this tiny little thing comes and it arrives and if you catch it you win So that's cool too, but like then what's all the other stuff for like all yet like it's just like filling time into the little ball comes I'm totally open to hearing to have him. I'm I am open

I'm not having my mind changed. I was I could help you but Quidditch to me is a sport I mean it is a sport even though it's a fictional sport, but it's like every other sport, I don't get it, I don't understand it, I just wanna know when Tencent Hot Dog Night is, okay? That's all I need to know about your fucking ball throw. People do play Quidditch as a sport somehow. I guess they just probably like walk around in the rooms between their legs or something.

And listen, I'm short, super fun. I just don't understand how like a game you do one thing for 95% of the time and then at the last 5% a thing comes in and that's the only thing that matters. Then what does the first 95% mean? But I'm sure I got something wrong. So if someone wants to educate me and- I think it's like basketball where you get like

more points for certain things. See, don't get me talking about sports because I don't even know if that's true. Is that true? Like you get a basket and it's two points, but then if you get a basket that's a special kind of, at a certain kind of time, you get three points or something. Yes. But the thing is this though, that those points accumulate over the course of the game.

So what you did in the first quarter, theoretically affects where you will wind up because it's all cumulative as opposed to like imagine. You long brought basketball into it. You also brought Hogwarts into it and you should have known better. Well, I think no, we were gonna have to talk about this. You think you were just gonna bring up. I am. I am.

You're gonna have a lot about you. You're just going to bring up. I am. I am. I'm going to have a lot of every you're going to have a lot of hog words, UT players really upset with you this week. Just putting it out there. I didn't say anything bad about UT. I just said, I'm just saying that they're their quidditch team sex. But all I said, all I'm saying is that my expectations for the amount of work that is being put into Sophie's application, I thought she was applying for a super, super exclusive school. But then again, I may be wrong, maybe these days even big, giant state schools require you have to just like, whatever. But in the way you want to get your degree at Costco. That's up to you. Okay, that great samples I don't know. Yeah, so then we can be schooled on all this pun intended

Just making exclusive schooling, okay? Yeah, yeah, but please make sure it's accredited. Thanks unlike wherever John Sessa got his advanced unlike wherever john sessor got his advanced so snap out let's do easy target where no one will be upset at me okay easy target john sessor uh... okay so let's go back to bella school just kidding on a one-two okay kelly and joley

uh... we should mention by the point of the scene is that so if he is writing a book about the about living with the worst oh yes alright girl's past during the quidditch. Yeah, she's going to write a book about having divorced parents and Shannon's like, am I scared of reading what Sophie has to say about my decisions possibly ruining her entire life? Terrified. Am I scared that Tamer is telling people I am getting that again You How mad is Shannon at Greta Thurneberg honestly? She's like my daughter is writing a book. Oh, oh, I see another college Okay another another girl college age is is speaking at the UN. Oh

Okay, all right, I will take some deep breaths Sure, this will not impact Sophie and make her look pedestrian at all Okay, I know I like that the Josef was like yeah, well, you know a lot of people say they're gonna write books, but they don't actually write the book So if you actually write the book that'll be something. I'm like, wow, it's like a housewife in training, this kid. You know? So then we go back to Bella's college, future college, and her tour guide, lady, is like, oh my god, welcome, everyone is here.

There's like so many people here right now. Okay, what kind of art are you interested in? Vegetable, there's the visual arts building. Yeah. And then the parents are like, can you believe it? They have their own building for art. Wow, it's almost like run a college campus. Look, so basically we took the shack and painted a green. That's really gets to your art. We put the rest of the money in the baseball team. That was the tiniest room on the whole campus. It was like this little tiny green room.

It actually looked, but you know, it actually looked like a cute campus. I have to say good for you, room. It actually looked, you know, it actually looked like a cute campus. I have to say, good for you, Fullerton. Good. No, it's cool. I've sounds so awful today, but I talk about higher education. I didn't meet it like good for you. I think that's really nice. I'm laughing at you. I thought it looks really nice. I was not trying to shade Cal State. That was a little, that was a little city building. I mean, look, the whole call is like, wow, look at that. Hey, you know, people who study skateboarding, look at that giant glass dome they get over there. Okay, visual arts, it's over there.

House is the eye robot. So. So. I don't know if you can work on your art. You know, Titan moms, we stick together. Talk about eye robot and every scene. Love you, eye robot. New sponsor, cook at one.

So lady, music, dance, I don't care. Okay, Kelly and Jolie are folding laundry. And Kelly's like, hey, you have to be fooled, even though I have a person that comes. Yeah, so Jolie's like, so Jolie's thing is that she's headed to London all by herself, which is pretty cool that she's like 13 or so going to London by herself. I think she met without her parents, right? Because

oh, maybe. I think I think that's how Kelly said it, but I was like, I don't think she's I think she's going on a school vacation, like maybe a school trip, because she's like, she's going to go to museums, plays bars. Hopefully she'll get some. It's like no one sends her 13-year-old to bars hopefully she'll get some it's like no one's sensor 13 year old to London alone yeah at least not in modern times I feel like maybe back in like the 1700s go to the big city make make send notes to us Clarice so we are sending bandy to Chelsea London but either way it's still very cool. So, Jolie is helping Kelly with her eye makeup and everything and Kelly is like, you're doing it so rough!

You're doing it rough! Why are you hurting me? You're hurting me! You're hurting me! It seems like sorry, but your eyes are kind of wonky. They're like this. No, they're not! No, they're not!

She's like, sorry, you're angry all the time. I'm not angry! I'm not angry! I'm just being an angry child and I feel angry, but I'm not angry. It's like then she goes, but when I get angry, what do I get mad? Because I don't listen to you, but why do you get mad at other people like all the time? She's like, I don't get mad at people. She's, what about Tamer? She Tamar, because Tamar, Tamar, people bug me. That's why I don't like people. I hate people. And Joey's like, her people hurt others I heard. You're a dwarf.

Come on, I said it. You're a dwarf. Can I think about that one for a minute. So now we go over to Ryan's therapy session with Sharia Terry. So, um, I wasn't the only one. It was. There were people online who were saying that too. Like, is that Sharia Terry? I would love it if it was Sharia Terry. So Ryan, what's wrong with you? She was she did look like her playing a very fancy character like

Let us discuss your therapy now Ryan. She was a fancy therapist her I loved the I love the paint job on her walls. Did you notice that I was like I love this therapist office No, but I think Ryan thought she was hot because that's the only reason he would go back Yeah, that's true And also because I guess it's someone in his life telling him that it's not his fault Which I guess can't be addictive actually it sounds good. Bye. I'm very afraid Finally Ronnie's going to therapy. I finally talked myself into it somebody telling me I'm right You just need to be hugged and told it's not your fault enough times until you start to sob If you have butterscotch a little wrapped candies in a bowl on my way out, that's a plus. Give me

a call. So Tamra, so Tamra, he, Ryan's been seeing this therapist actually for a little bit and Tamra is joining in because it's that time where, you know, Ryan's been talking about his childhood, where he just didn't get a shot like everyone else. And Tamara's basically saying, how she's been seeing Swings in his mood and he's at a point in his life where he should be happy and he's not happy and she wants him to be happy. So she tells sort of like the whole backstory about that. She got pregnant with him when she was 17 in high school

and then got married to the guy and only lasted like a year and then she was alone with Ryan for 13 years and she feels like she let him down. And she's like, now I look at my current children and see the opportunities they have and it's like I've checked it's in college and like, Ryan's off the house because he couldn't stand his stepdad. Okay. Back it up because you guys are complaining and saying he doesn't have any opportunity and

then we get a clip of him and a huge mansion where his stepfather is trying to teach him things and he's just like fuck you. I don't need to do this. So guess what? He did have opportunities and he's shit all over them. So it's not acting like he was born in some war-torn country in a cardboard box and never had anything. Okay, it's bullshit. He had everything and he fucking pissed it away. I mean I can't imagine that being like a little kid and Tamer's your mom like, I imagine that's her. I'm sure she was like outgoing out to the club or bars or whatever. And that's that's she worked a lot in her defense. I can't believe I just defended Tamer. That's true. I don't know what she did, but I do believe that she worked. But like, that is hard.

That is hard and it's hard on a kid. and a kid is gonna like have anger and have issues, etc. But at the same time, I mean Ryan you're like 31 now. So I mean, I guess lay you know, he is dealing with it. He's in therapy You know, we always say you know what deal with it. He is dealing with it. So what can I say? I can't even be mad about that I can say you're still a dick, okay? Still a dick? Um, um, Tamara's like, you know, he, all he does is spend time with Eva, his daughter. It's weird. Like he isolates himself with her and it, it concerns me. Uh, and then she starts crying and says that, uh, this is basically, you know, her, her

biggest fear is him committing suicide, you know, because that's how he's acting. And we, she pulls out, the doctor pulls out a list of everything that Ryan has said that he's having a problem with and he feels like he's a loser. He can't do anything right. You know, and I will say, on a positive note about this, none of these, at least any of them that I wrote down, none of the things on this list were necessarily blaming other people, which was nice, because that's already different than we've seen so far.

That's kind of, yeah. Well, I mean, that's because she said, how do you feel about yourself? So he writes down, well, how he feels about himself. But then in everything else though, he blames everyone else for, right? He's like, well, my dad didn't come to visit. My dad didn't see this or that. And this, I didn't have a child and my brothers and sisters, they got it better. There's definitely like a lot of, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, mat update. Basically, Matt's looking for jobs in Orange County and he's like, he like

really, really, really wants us to get back together and he's like being like really good with the kids and going shopping. It's almost as if like he's putting his best foot forwards that way he could finally have me again and then when the pursuit is over, he's going to go back to being a shitty dad. I don't know. Yeah, and the mom's like, hey, Yeshua, he's not just doing this for the wrong reasons. And she's like, yeah, but here's what, he gets real jealous. That's what I'm worried about. And this whole thing is just like danger. That's all in here. Whenever Gina's on screen and she's going through a lot, again, we say that every week, but I'm also not terribly interested in Gina either. And we were talking about what to do for our live show next week in New York, in New York, right? New York. And we were

saying, how about Orange County? We haven't done that when live in a little while. And I watched this episode and I was like, should we change it back to Dallas? Well, what's happening? Do we already announce it? Did you already announce it? I don't think we announced anything, but we can play it by ear and see how. I don't know about this. So it's too depressing.

Like every scene is depressing. Oh, and by the way, this is how you read it. I like it. Yeah, I mean, I like the show still, but I'm like, I like it. I think we just have to, we'll have to see, we'll have to compare on Dallas. What's happened? The previous for next week on Dallas

and the previous for next week on Orange County, and then we will make our final judgment. How about just watch both shows, everybody. See, you're prepared for that live show. We'll just see what's better. Okay, so this is how you raise stupid children, okay? You know, you ding back. Her kid comes up and he's like,

I don't even know what a chinchilla is. Like, what is it? It's like, it's a marsupial. He's like, oh, okay And he walks away and then she turns to her mom's like, I don't even know if that's true, but it sounded good, right? Mom's like, I think that's kangaroos Do you have a fucking cell phone? Can you even make one effort to Google something? So you're not teaching your child something. He's gonna I know repeat that and look like a goddamn mor. Like me, I didn't know what that,

I mean, I know what a chinchilla is because my mother wore one for a long time. So I had to look it up. It's a chinchilla, chinchilla, or a chinchilla lingaria. Two species, either of two species. Well, let's never forget Rocky, the chinchilla, that Westerface had, Mika had, on bloodinchilla, that what's her face had,

Mika had, on blood, sweat and heels. Oh yeah. Our favorite little chinchilla. You know, Gina, what was he gonna say? First of all, the larger question is, why was that kid so bothered about chinchillas and why was he like, what happened

that he had to come running over to his mom and say, I don't even get what chinchillas are. Like, what happened that he had to come running over to his mom and say, like, I don't even get what Chen Chilla's are. Like, what happened on the playground? Where was he? Chen Chilla shame because he keeps meeting new kids. And she's like, oh, he loves making friends. That's what he does. He just goes to often to I see new people.

And I guess one of the kids may be told them about it. Chen Chilla. And he's like, what even is it Chen Chilla? And then he probably walked back to that. And it was like, have fun with your marsupial. And then the kid was like, you're an idiot. Get out of the woods, County. We should also mention that Gina is saying that she definitely

wants to get divorced to Matt from Matt. And you know, that she's been learning about herself and she's been dabbling in dating. And there's this like this hot doctor that she mentioned a few episodes ago. And then after like dating him a little bit, she's like,abbling and dating and there's this like this hot doctor that she mentioned a few episodes ago and at after like dating him a little bit she's like you know what I've learned that there's some non-negotiables okay that going forward like any man has to have like this guy he's funny and polite I'm like really Beth and on the grocery store like the basic those are

like should be like basic offline factors like yeah like if that was like is like now like like a politeness is now like a non-negotiable, I mean, it should be non-negotiable, but it's almost like it's a given, right? Like, I love that. You were okay with a lack of politeness? Yeah, politeness. Like, I don't even know what to do. You do, someone needs to polite.

So then we go over to Tamer and Eddie, and here we go. Another dog not being played with timers like or ronnie do it that money in the back bros he's trying to get you to fucking play with him what do you think he's doing with the money in his

it's not a real bunny story bunny he's trying to reconcile the fact that he lives in orange county with some people who are from orange county yet he's named bronx that's what he's trying to do uh... so eddie's like uh... you know he's named Bronx. That's what he's trying to do. So Eddie's like, you know, he's just, he's eating it. Melting. So I'm a fine, and then the day that back, it turned into a happy for both of us. Cause like, you know, I don't happen.

I because I was raised. I was like, well, it's good to see your blaming your parents for something to. Yeah, the orange doesn't fall far from the tree. And she's like, I felt guilt because I didn't give them the perfect child. I'm walking at you, like, broke down. And Eddie tells us, you know, Tamara's a great mom with all of her children, which I just had to pause because they don't have laugh breaks in this show. It's not like watching

Will and Grace where there's a laugh track. So you really have to take the time to enjoy and just stop and laugh. Yeah, he goes, you know, when you struggle with your childhood issues as a man, I don't think you're a man. So just get over it, move on, grow up, take care of your responsibilities, that's life. It's like, um, take care of responsibility, that's life. It's like, you saying, talking about manliness and childhood issues is in fact, something that clearly stems from your childhood. So please don't talk to us about that. Yeah, but I also kind of agreed with him

and you know that Ryan hates him too. I think I see probably tells him that same thing. He's like, get your responsibilities and get over it. Like do something. Yeah, I mean, I do think that like, it your responsibilities and get over it. Like do something. Yeah. I mean, I do think that like it's, I mean, I think there is a kernel of truth in that like, okay, your tool just will be complaining about like,

oh, I didn't have this, I didn't have that. Like that, like for sure, like get over that, you know, like for your own path, but like obviously the childhood issues that we have or what shape us day to day, even even as a total so you can't just like disregard them. Yeah well no kidding I mean you're telling someone who's complained like 8000 hours literally about my childhood so I get that I'm being a hypocrite but also having someone like Eddie and by the way by like Eddie I mean nothing like Eddie tell me Ronnie you're too old for this. Grow the fuck up, let's stop.

Help. I still do it, but I do it less. You know what, I think that's fine. I think that the issue where it like rubbed me the wrong way was when he said that's not a man. I was like, hmm, I don't think we need to add that later to it. I don't need your patriarchy and your gender identification, sir. Okay.

Sir. Yeah. Yeah. But I also get this like Eddie. and your gender identification, sir. Okay. Sir. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. But I also get this like Eddie. It's like a different one. It's like, you know what? It's bad enough. Like if you're going to like insert your stupid patriarchy,

at least do it with some enthusiasm, sir. Yeah, so he's like, don't worry. You're a good mom. I'm sick. Oh, yeah. And thank Kelly. I get up and not to text about the dish. I'm coming back. Boston, remember, you know what and thank Kelly. I get up in that to text about the dish I'm coming back

Boss every minute pretty be back then like it's ridiculous when we love she was fine and he's like so what prompted her because he knows what she's Talk about she is the same thing. She's been bitching about Shannon for years, right? And she's like Bingo Bingo It's again bingo it's again Shannon I don't even want to talk about it. It's Shannon. Thank you.

Well, it's clear what's gonna happen. This is the pattern, which is that Tamara is going to attack Shannon. She's gonna cue Shannon of doing it. Shannon's just gonna pass the blame over to Emily. And I guess Bronwyn too. We just know this is what the trajectory is gonna be for the next few episodes. Bronwyn, which, yeah. So now Bronwyn, Emily and Kelly are meeting up for lunch or whatever, and Kelly comes

with some... She looks like she's wearing a mistletoe or something. Like, I don't know how you describe it. It's like, it's not a pussy bow. It almost looks like a bullfighter thing, like, Matador, but not quite. Yeah, it's like a... She was gift-rapped at Barnes & Noble, like a Christmas kind of thing. Yeah, adorable.

Yeah, so they show up to eat and basically gossip because Bronwyn, is it Bron, no, it's Emily who's going to dinner with Shannon the next day, right? Yeah, Emily has a dinner, no, Emily has a lunch with Tamra and Vicki the next day and she's worried that it's going to turn into a Kelly bashing session. But Bronwyn is going to have something with someone else. I think with Shannon maybe. She's going to be having dinner with Tamra. Sorry. And she's like, I know they're just going to all blame me. Yeah. So we need to come up with a game plan. And Kelly's idea is just tell everybody all ball. Yeah. So yeah, because Kelly's especially mad

because you know, she's trying to like reconnect with her mom and they're giving her advice on just, hey, just call her up directly. But this is also happening while Vicki and Tamara, et cetera, are like spreading rumors about Kelly and her mom. So then we cut over to a coffee shop where Tamara is sitting with like an enormous coffee cup

waiting and Shannon walks up and she's like, full on pasta, my and she's like, she's like, yeah, this is the most possible means she's been in seasons. Yeah. And Shannon's like, how are you and Tamrogas? How are you thanks for asking? Let's go to the chairs. Wanna tell me what the sh-thumbs about? And then the waitress comes over to take an order and chants like, I'll just have some hot water with lemon. I have the flu right now, which is Not me preloading my excuse for why I didn't

Text you. It's actually I've just had the flu and I heard that sitting outdoors at a cafe while you have the flu is really good for you So I have the flu from being hit on the head with the bomb. I have brain flu and that that so when she says I have the flu from being head on the head with the ball. I have brain flu and that's that. So when she says I have the flu, Tamrakas, gray. Yeah. Yeah. So Sam is like, well, I don't know why things are so blown out of proportion right now, but I was a dinner and things

were said. And I was blindsided by things that were said to me. And, you know, Kelly said that you have no idea how many mean things that Tamara has said about you. Oh, really? Oh, she did say that, that's her? What did she say? What did she say? Well, she said that I faked being hurt in Arizona. DONG! We get a clip of DONG. And then Kelly said that Tamara, Atoll Gina, hey, when we go on our trip, let's just room with that Shannon. And then Gina said, yeah, you did say that. And we see the whole clip of that happening. Yeah. And

and Tamara's like, what like we were wasted and like, I don't even remember there's not even a real trip going on and and and and and She also said that you've been telling people that I'm getting fat again. Huh? Really when did I say that? I know you said that you're Like really when did I say that so Tamra you know Tamra is wrong because she's She's literally doing that thing where it's like, oh, really? Name the time and place. Yes. When did I say it? What's the evidence?

You have to son come on. She's like, I don't know because they said that you said that. I wasn't actually there. You eating it. So then Tamara's like, so did you stick out for me? Did you stick out for me, which is also her way of immediately turning the tables. Because now Tamara can be the victim. You were calling her fat. Yeah, and that's what Shatt is- And Shatt and Shatt tried to say that she's a well in the beginning. I said a few. And Tamara goes, and in the end, well, by the end, she showed me a screenshot of you making fun of me get it get on the head and Tamara goes

It was nothing like that. It was a video that I sent her I'm like there's a video of a woman pretending she got hurt by getting hit on the head It is exactly what argument is that she didn't send a video. She sent a screenshot of the video. Oh Like that's so tamara, you know, it's like that was not it was a screenshot of something it's like oh and that and now tamra is the video of a woman faking an injury okay totally different tamra totally different yeah and at this point tamra has now put Shannon fully on the defensive even though it should be Shannon who's like you talk shit about me and I don't care what you tried to justify you like I tell you things and you talk shit and

I don't appreciate that but instead now Shannon's having to defend herself. So, Shannon is full on blow mode. She's like, what? What? I, 30 to 40 negative thoughts happening during the flu. Oh my God, David. Oh, sleepy. Feef-rish.

See, you can sleep medicine. That kind of flu. Oh, I need Chanquille. So then, there's, uh, Bronwyn's like, well, I'm having dinner with Tamra tomorrow. And because every time she gets in trouble, she's like Bronwyn to that. And Kelly says, she's on the instrument, it be later that's it. There's a masterman, it be later. And Kelly, Bronwyn goes, yeah, it's like a chess game.

It's a chess game of middle age swimming. Yeah. And Kelly goes, yeah, and there are the, but you know what? There are the chess players, we're checkers. And everyone's like, on his foot, checkers. And he's like, shouldn't we be the chess and there are the checkers? And he's like, no, because, no, because like, they're calculating stuff, but like, we're like, we, we, we go diagonal, we're diagonal.

And I jump and, um, they're from us it's different checkers who know hmm so I'm like as this is not proving your point that we're smart Kelly you're the dumbest smart person I've ever met and then they just all start cracking up so then back with with Tamara. Tamara's like, oh, so can we just switch like that? Something must have happened, something must have happened. And her eyes are totally black. There's not one piece of white in her eyes.

And her eyes are on full on squint hissing mode. It's so funny. Yeah. Are you alluding that I've been behind this because? I have been nothing this because I? I have been nothing but a good friend to you. Oh, I'm about good to say that again. That's so good. You're not gonna speak the sandwich hammer Let me repeat you. I have been nothing but a good friend to you And Tamragas, haha you're a puppet master I was like you guys are none of you or puppet masters.

Can we just stop saying the word puppet master? None of you are a puppet master. Your gossipy A-holes. I'm a puppet master. Don't you know that David left me for a puppet? Ha! Ha! And you know the whole Henson family is just at home totally offended.

Like, when did this become a bad thing? Like, our father invented the muppets, okay? Stop shitting on his grave people. She was the love puppets. Yeah. So Tim, yeah, cuz you're calculated. And you know what hurts me? And say you have five days to tell me and you're dead and dead and dead and five days. And Shannon's like, um, you told me you were gonna go have sex for five days with Eddie And now what am I supposed to do have Eddie mad at me that I'm calling you on your trip and getting you mad at And Shannon has a good point. She's right. That's a whole season last year was how Teddy Teddy Is it of Shannon's bullshit and he's blaming Shannon for everything. He was dissing camera Shannon on camera

God dammit. He was dissing Shannon on camera all season and be really mean to her about this so she's actually trying to be respectful by leaving Tamra alone exactly exactly so then Tamra's response that is so you don't think that we had Kelly sent that text that it wasn't gonna ruin my day and you weren't gonna help me out you weren't going to help me out. You weren't going to do that. So basically, Shannon can never win. And so, Shannon's even know about the text. So, Tamara has them.

She's printed them out in giant Lisa Vanderpom font, you know. Yes. And so she's pulled them out. So, Shannon's reading them and she's like, okay. All right. So, Shannon starts to soften because she realizes this is an opportunity to stop fighting with Tamara without having to like, well, Shannon would never, Shannon wasn't wrong, but clearly the tension is high and she wants to go back to being friends with Tamra.

So now she starts to like soften when she's reading these texts and she goes, well, well, maybe she's, maybe she talked about, I guess that maybe she Hmm, I guess I'd like uh Kelly talked about that there was a the hand so Here I'll give you information now because now I'll be your ally and there was something else Someone said that you put the word train out there Under what we're sitting at the table. I'm thick as gun going on and on about how much more information she has and I was like oh you talking about the train Oh, so that's all I said does that mean I put it out there? Yes, bitch. It means you put it out there You were the one who put it out there Yeah, and even shout out like well, there are some people that could argue that I mean even Shane and he didn't pass the bar

But I had to try and make him mad at me. That's what's bullshit. I mean, even Shane and he didn't pass the bar. But I had to try to make him mad at me. That's what's bullshit. And no, the bullshit is that you put the training out there. Like she just has to skip right over that, right? Yeah. So she's like, I just don't understand these girls. It's like the first time another girl's not there, they have to bash them. Yeah. girls not there to have to bash them. Yeah. That one drives me nuts. This is crazy.

It's like the worst human being by God. Yeah. So yeah. So she's like, yeah, as soon as someone's not there, they can't help that bash. And then she starts going in about like, you know, like, Kelly, like she threw a mother down the stairs. She got into a fight with a girl at the bar. I'm like, do you see what you're doing right now? And send the guy she threw a mother down the stairs. She got into a fight with a girl at the bar.

I'm like, do you see what you're doing right now? And send her a mother down the stairs. Well, who said that? She goes, thick as set it. And then we get a clip of Vicki with cake all over her face and her terrible Marie after that costume in the back of a car crying, going, well, you know what? I don't care if she wants to go to my funeral.

She's not invited. And she pushed her mother down the stairs. I don't see that. And I didn't care if she wants to go to my funeral. She's not invited and she pushed her mother to have the stairs. I don't do that. And I didn't call her a pig. So, which is just made so much greater with the cake all over her face. Yeah. And then it's like, but now you are now you are that chair blanch. Now you are. So no, Shannon, Shannon now starts to sort of like bow down at the altar of Tamar again to prove that she's actually been a good friend through this.

She's like, when they told me that you said that I was getting fat again, something that I'd only told you, but somehow they knew about that. Well, my eyes welled up with tears. Almost the same tears I had in my eyes when I discovered that the brand of cream cheese I've been stuffing my salmon with had 45 grams of sugar in it. Wow, eyes were welling up, but I said I'm not gonna cry. I'm gonna have a talk with camera because I'm a good friend and that's what friends do. I'm a good friend. Yeah, well she's saying she was crying, which she heard that Tamra called her fat and Tamra just laughs. She's like and so Shannon's like, so you're saying that you said none of those things, not one of those things, and Tamra does exactly what Shana said she

was going to do. She goes, um, nothing I recall. Mm-hmm, which Shana said she would say she doesn't remember. So now ultimately, they seem to be good again, and Tamra, as Tamra basically says that Kelly Dodd is damage goods, and that kelly dot is damage goods and that she's done with her and that she's that she says that kelly's the source of drama kelly's not the source of drama kelly react as a your drama and then you're saying look at the drama she's causing which is like classic bullshit

both the tamarine uh... obviously too much in the world at large and it's distilled right here with Tamra doing it to Kelly Yeah, and she's like she's playing a very dangerous game family dangerous, which means she's gonna go out fights about pushing the mother down the stairs Which is hilarious because she wants everybody to leave her children and her you know her family a lot families off limits You know it's very camera. Very camera. The biggest garrips. The biggest garrips.

Strippers, yes. So in the meantime, well normally tomorrow would be our real househouse of Dallas or Jersey recap, but we're doing Dallas and Jersey this weekend. We're going to do Dallas and Indianapolis. Jersey for the early show in Chicago and the late show, we're gonna do that classic New York episode Season six episode 10. Who you to get me wet? Okay, it's that episode It's hilarious and I'm so excited to watch it again um and

Get your tickets all our shows and emerge just go to watchcraftens.com and we will see All sorts of people in the Midwest on Friday night so bye everyone! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watchercraftens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondens ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.