Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Pride Cards Against Humanity

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, the women head to Mexico for a group trip, and Heather finds it in her heart to invite Noella, who has incidentally given Max a very mature gift. Will the decision backfire in Fancy Pants' face? Of course! And we're here for it.For those of you who can't make the 2022 Golden Crappies Awards in-person this year, experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com/wwcSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Hello and welcome to Watch Watch Crapins, a podcast, but all that crap on Bravo that we love to talk about, I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is a wonderful and hilarious person you may know him. I certainly know him. I love him.

He's my work husband. It's Ronnie Carrham. Hey, Ronnie. How are you? Hi, B. Well, that's so sweet. What a sweet intro. Oh, you're welcome.

Um, today is a very special episode because we're recapping Real Housewives of Orange County. But, um, we are one week away. It is officially T minus seven days for the Golden Crapi Awards. This is going to kick off our 10 year anniversary Hunky Dory tour in New York City on Broadway. It's going to be huge. Town Hall, New York City, get tickets. It's gonna be great.

We've been hammering at the schedule, filling guests into all the slots. It's going to be a great show. If you are unable to make it to New York City and be there in person with us, don't worry because you can experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home by going to momenthouse.com slash WC. And that's how you can watch it. We are streaming this event. So it's a big deal. And so no matter where you are in the world, you can participate. So cancel all your other plans, guys.

Whatever it is, cancel it and come join us, either in person or digitally. So that's, if you forget that, it's momenthouse.com slash WC, but of course we have the link up on our social media and also on our website. So be sure to do that. And of course, life does not end after the crappies.

Afterwards, we go to Nash, I'm sorry, we go to Jersey, where we're going to do a vintage Jersey recap. We'll go to Boston, where we're going to recap next week's Orange County episode. And then after that, we will be going to Atlanta, Nashville, and Orlando, we'll give the scheduling updates. As we get closer to those shows, we just don't want to overwhelm you with too much information.

Okay. So that is the story. And do you know what, since it's a week before we start doing these live shows, we need to announce what we're doing at the show. So on the crappies, that's the crappies, duh. And then the next night in Jersey, we're going to do a classic Jersey episode. A lot of people have been suggesting

season two episode is either 10 or 12, and it's called Country Clubed. Yeah, that's the one where it's like, did you forget I'm from Paterson? So, I mean, I think that we should just do one, that's a posh fashion show. I think we should do a posh fashion show, either the first season one posh fashion show

or that posh fashion show. All that will work for me. Okay, well, why don't we do both? I mean, we're going to be on tour at this whole year. So you want to start with the first Posh Fashion Show for Jersey. Let's do that. Okay, it's just been declared live on the air. Here's the season one Posh Fashion Show.

Down in my notebook. Posh Fashion Show in Asbury Park. Okay, so everyone better show up and show up in your finest posh fashion show chic attire, okay? Oh my god, I will. And then the next night in Boston, we're gonna be doing this recap. Right, wait, no, not this one. This is real house was of Orange County. Yeah, no, we're doing Orange County. We're doing Orange County. We're doing, I actually just said this that we're gonna be doing Orange County next week's Orange County episode I'm gonna be doing in Boston. I know how to politely tell you that I actually just said this that we're gonna be doing Orange County next week's Orange County episode I'm gonna be doing in Boston

I'm I don't know how to politely tell you that I literally just said this you don't have to be polite I mean like I was going through my notes thing. What do we have before we go like this? Oh Sorry I wasn't offended I know I've listen. It's been 10 years I'm like okay, Ronnie was taking care of some stuff while I was doing announcements. So sorry, okay, yeah. So oh my gosh, I'm so excited.

And so we, in one week we'll be traveling and I just feel alive, okay, I feel alive. I bought a new taxi to shoot for this. It's really, that's a big deal. What I do for this? I bought a new Taxi-Dose shirt for the rest. I've got so many new clothes. I mean, I had to because I've gained so much COVID weight. But damn, thank you, Amazon. I don't know how anybody lived without Amazon,

you know. I literally type fat guy dress shirt and something came up, like things came up, like cute things. So thank you, Amazon. I don't know if I can fit into my Tuxedo pants anymore. And if so, then what's gonna happen is it's gonna be Tuxedo shirt and blazer and bowtie. And then Black Jeans. Hey, it's the crappies. Okay, it's an award show, but it's not like, you know, it's a Black Jeans kind of award show.

Yes. So, let's get on with this real housewives of Orange County. It's called Wild Cards. Wild Cards, yes. So I have a question. I was watching the opening credits as I'm want to do to hear the creepy jingle music. Do do do do do do do do do do do. And on Orange County, one thing that's unique on Orange County,

they do it on some other ones. But on Orange County, when the women stand in front of their name and the open in credits, we see there are families or significant others in the background. And I noticed with Noella, there's a random lady back there. And I'm wondering, is that her mom? Yeah, remember we saw her mom, like,

remember I didn't really approve of sweet dreams that first time, yeah, that's her mom back there. Okay, cause the woman in the background, remember I didn't really approve of sweet dreams at first, honey. Yeah, that's her mom back there. Okay, because the woman in the background, I guess because she's sort of smaller because she's in the background, I was like, is that her mom? It looks really young.

I thought it was like some best friend or a stepdaughter or something. I was like, wait a second, who's that lady? It's back there. Yeah, that's no one was mom, that's probably all we'll see if her. It just looks so small because they took it up from up The stairs in the sex tension. She's like mom you're staying in the sex tension tonight enjoy yourself. I'm bisexual too

So we start off at a boutique of some sort where Emily is shopping for A look for the Cabo girl strip that Heather is doing. And so Nicole and Dr. Jen come walking in and Emily has carrying a big unbranded bottle of ginger ale. It's so funny, you know the producers made her take off the Canada dry label on that thing. Yeah. Nicole comes in, I mean Nicole has this thing where she's always pulling her own hair

and it's so distressing to me. You know, we talk a lot in this day and age of like trauma and like anything we attribute to a trauma, but this girl, I'm like, what happened to you? Stop pulling your hair, stop it. You're making me nervous, like I'm physically uncomfortable. And you know, usually on housewives,

it's when they get nervous or they're lying, they start tugging on, you know, usually on housewives, it's when they get nervous or they're lying, they start tugging on, you know, hand brushing one side of their hair. You know, that's normal. But this girl literally looks like she's milking a hair cow on both sides of her head. Like she's grabbing it. Yeah, grabbing and pulling, grabbing and pulling,

then the other side, then the other side is so weird. Also, Nicole got fired this week. Did you read about that? No, because I was still processing learning that. Nicole is dating Jim Bellino, which we may have talked about last week, but I'm still processing it. Is that current? They're dating now.

I think that I think it was in the past. Well, as of a month ago, at Bravo and Cocktails, definitely got a picture of Nicole and Jim Bellino at the restaurant together. That's all. Bravo Real Housewives Reddit, one of our favorite corners of the internet. Yes, I love those guys over there.

Well, I don't see it here now, but I read that she won't be seen after this episode because something really bad happened, but of course it's bravo So they're not saying what it is, but some people are saying that she refused of vaccination Everybody's gossiping, you know who knows what it is, but um, I just saw that hair pulling and I was like oh my god Maybe that has something to do with it. So like um Nicole has pulled her hair off of her head every last Oh my god, let her go for her own help. You know, it's been a, it's been a, it's been a rough week for Bravo Leopardies. I mean, there's also all this news that came out about Jenny

from Salt Lake City, but I think we'll probably talk about that on take a seat on Monday. I imagine because that's, that was some crazy stuff that happened too that we didn't even talk about. Oh, yeah I haven't look you told me a little bit, but I haven't looked at that. It's not good. Can't wait. It's just what Jenny nominee for Best Newbie of the Year Jesus Thanks, Jenny. Thanks a lot Jenny. Thanks for ruining the crappies. Look what you did to me Look what you did to me. Oh, the Gen shot.

She's gonna do that. But every word that we give out of the crappies, Gen Shaw is just gonna come out and say, but what about the awards that I give you? More even makes sense. So let's see here. Yeah, the cool shot of Emily's got the, sorry, would you say, babe?

Nicole pulled her hair back very tightly. Oh my God, it's stressful. So, Ginger Ale and Emily's like, I've been driving around with it all day. And Jim's like, there are a lot of people on the show who have this voice. There's Emily, there's Jen. And there's Noella.

Noella. And Noella has actually two voices. She has normal Nouella voice, and then there's that one interview look that she, when she's wearing the white interview look, Nuella goes from talking like this to talking like this. So she's been record at, I don't know, at double speed or something,

so when they play it back, it's very slow. Like she is underwater, it slowed down. It's like it goes busters recording. The walls are talking. It's like calm down Dan Acquoid, it's a real housewife. Also, Noella is really committing to just copying every other housewife. You know that speaking of Gen shot, Gen shot is the other housewife who does this, where she's just so kind of unoriginal

that she just copies everything that she's ever seen on the housewives and just tries to, it's like the community theater version of the housewives, which we've said before, but, you know, it's like a community theater production decided to do an episode of housewives, and they just take all the famous lines and put them in there,

because she has a lot of them, which we'll discuss later when we get to Nicole, when we get to know well, okay. Yeah, but for right now, Emily is carrying around Gingerail and she's been carrying around all day. I mean, it's, it's, when you look at that bottle, that, that bottle of Gingerail in her arms, it's, there's really only a few nuances away from just basically being Shane, right? Like, Shane has like maybe a few more whists of hair, but it's basically the same thing. Yeah, pretty much. And she's like, this ginger ale is my IV right here,

ladies. And of course, like, I'm hair pull, hair pull, I can't even look at you straight with that ginger ale in your hand. I mean, ginger ale in a bathing suit store. Hey, do you know what the weather's going to like and Emily goes um hot and humid no and capo Hot and humid right now. I mean it's it's what it's hot and humid and capo bitch So Emily tries on her swimsuit and she comes out in her heels You know rocking it and it's like oh my god. I like it with the heels on. Nicole has a problem with kind of everybody anywhere, you know, she's like mismanners. What are you talking about? Oh, didn't you date like kid rock and jambalino and, you know, what are you talking, why are you trying to act like your mismanners all the time?

By the way, I'm sorry if you just heard a whole bunch of clunky noises. I thought I'd be like very slick and move my laptop off of it. Little laptop stand and I imagine not over five different things. So I apologize to those listening to them because I know hearing ambient noises from our rooms is super super annoying. Anyway, yes, Nicole, Nicole being mismanners when she's been married to Chris Rock. I mean, I don't know. It's just so weird. I don't know what she's really going

for with this, but I don't think it's working. So Emily, so everybody's trying on their seat suits. Emily tries on another swim suit. And this one is a one piece. And Nicole who just goes, Oh, I like that suit. She comes out in the one piece and she says, I love the one suit. It's a cut everything she said, everything she says, I find so rude, Nicole. It's fine, though. And like who says that, okay?

I'm supposed to say I like the one piece, she say, oh my God, the one piece is nice. The bikinis where it's at, girl. I actually think Emily always looks great in the one piece. I think one pieces are sexy, but then again, I'm a gay man, with no fashion sense. So I think the reason why you're getting mad is because I think you can just perceive

the influence of Jim Bellino on Nicole. I think it comes through. Maybe, I just find Nicole so judgy, but then she does that fake person thing of saying, you know, I'm from the South. So we have the, you know, bless your heart or God bless her, you know, stuff like that. But Nicole Nicole basically does that but without Southern sayings to back it up And it just comes off as bitchy. It's like oh, yeah, I like that bikini. I love the one piece

I'm like fuck off. Oh, just fuck off. Don't you fat shame me, you know, I start shaking I take Nicole very personally don't tell me I had an act on a restaurant. I'll cry if I want to. You were married. I'm not screw you. Ryan's gonna be like, I don't like Nicole. I don't like what she said about my one piece. Like, I don't, she wasn't talking to you. God, you really take it so personally. I really do. That's one of the four agreements that I could just never agree to. Don't take things personally. Yeah. Like, long, I mean, how else do you take them? If I don't take things personally. Yeah, like long, I mean, how else do you take them? If I don't take it personally, I'm like, why are you not being personal with me, Ben? Take it professionally.

We all know how good I am at that. That's a word that's not really used with our podcast. So, so then Emily is like posing with Jen and she's like, oh my God, you're like the size of a child, you're a tallist Annabelle. So they're all kind of like digging each other. And so anyway, they all are now talking and Nicole's like, oh my God, it's just been so awkward

with Nauwela. You know, she has that like, who is this? Who is this? She has a cute little Midwestern accent. If you listen to Nicole, she's like, oh my God, you look so, you look so, This is what is this call you? That's a cute little Midwestern accent. If you listen to Nicole, she's like, oh my god, you look so, you look so,

except I'm giving her like shades of New York. You're like the mom from that 80s show. Yeah, well, you know, she's, if you listen to Nicole talk, talk, she's just very much like chipper and like, you know, she's like from, she has so much in Michigan accent, which I'm not really doing very well,

but she sort of, she sort of has that Michigan accent. So, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I word for Nicole. So I just flounder when I try to get that Michigan accent. Like I'm trying to remember the time I once was flew out of Detroit. And there was a flight attendant who got on the microphone who's like, paging, paging American airlines, P.S. and your Mary beer hire, please come to the canter. That's basically what Nicole sounds like.

She just paging Emily. Please come to Canter. I love that one piece that you're wearing. Have a noella. And if you know, if you know Mrs. Bearhart, tell her, I just love her me.

So you know, Mary Bearhart and Noella, they were talking, they were just talking all this shit together about about heavy. And I just, I felt like it was in a tick. I thought, like, I didn't know what to do. And Emily tells us it's clear to me that Nicole's intent is to make uh,

noella look bad. And they cast an echo going, she's talked shit about all of you. And Emily continues that she's just not interested. There's nothing noble about that. I mean, what's the word? Like, okay, look, sometimes I drink too much, okay, but what am the word? Like okay, look sometimes I drink too much Okay, but what am I trying petty? It's petty. Okay. That's what I'm trying to say You run to every single person on this show to Tatl-Tail every episode I don't think there's been an episode where you haven't Tatl-Tailed on somebody so save it man Yeah, exactly and Nicole is like well, you know what if she's going to cable I'm not gonna go and now I'm not going to go.

And now I'm not going. Okay, I'm gonna see if it's very way as passable. Which is great. Congratulations, because you're fired now. Okay. I'm not going to remove by the powerless. The power move by a, like someone who's only at friend of status.

Yeah. You listen here, professional tennis players at the French Open. If I do not get a bottle of water up here immediately, I am not playing tennis today. OK. You tell Mary Bearhart that if she wants me to play at the French Open, she'd better have a battle of water for me. Does anybody see Mary Bear Heartbeard away?

Announcement comes over at the front, open. Mary Bear Heart, please. Please come to the front. Excuse me. Can you get out of my seat? These seats are reserved for Mary Bear Heart and guests. Mary Bear Heart missed another effect. That's a pleasure. I mean, I don't know how many times I have to tell Mary Bearhart missed another event. I'm glad, bless her.

I mean, I don't know how many times I have to tell Mary Bearhart. You know, if you invite me to the French Open, you better come meet me. What's the point? If I thought this was gonna be a special time with me and Mary Bearhart. Yeah, I'll tell you who looks good in the bikini, Mary Bearhart. Okay. The one time she actually showed up to anything.

Haven't seen your sense though One time I said Mary Bearhart looked good in a one piece and oh my goodness. She revoked my French open access for a Okay, so Emily just doesn't like that Nicole's talking so much shit and then tries to pull this power move and I just my last note is also Nicole was fired And now I'm mad at Nicole's fired, because now we invented Mary Bearhart, and it was like, oh, we have a whole season where we can make Mary Bearhart jokes. And this is it. Mary Bearhart created and Mary Bearhart is now,

I'm gonna let Mary Bearhart. It's not gonna be happy about this. Well, she's just always missing. She can recall, uh, recoil return. She can return. We can pay for it. Recurrent. Thank you.

At any moment. She can recur. Okay can pay for it. Recurrent, thank you. Thank you. You can recur. Okay, so Sam and his at home with Archie. And she's like, oh, Archie, I know you're sad. I'm leaving. No, he's not. Whoever takes care of him, what try to make him crawl into a moldy,

disgusting green pool. He's like, bye. Bye, little doesn't care. He's literally sitting there on the cell phone, the dentist ball, just waiting for the dog sort of to come so we can have good dog food. Dogs love balls, but golden's especially that's like, that's all they think about. That's all they care about. It's like their whole life is a ball.

I've never seen a golden sitting anywhere without a damn ball at his feet. Like, are you going to play with me? They just always have this look on their face. Like, are you going to play ball? I'm always have this look on their face. Like, are you gonna play ball? I'm like, get it, do something. Get an interest. Oh, I like to play tennis. That's really bear heart.

She loves, she always has a ball too. And all the things in the word. So sorry, we're doing this recoupled a little later than usual. It's like a snap I've snapped it's amazing. Yeah So okay Mary Bear heart's not in this let me scroll pass them Mary Bear heart stories So she facetimes John and she like John have tried to back and he's like are you you excited? And she goes, oh, yeah. BOOM! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm so happy!

Ah! Ah! Ah! The only thing that makes me happier is seeing that Archie has a tennis ball on the duvet that I just cleaned. And so happy with all those dog germs and round dirt. He's like, you don't sound enthusiastic. Well, ain't that the bicycle shorts call into spanks.

Stretchy. Things that go on buzz. So, she's like, well, what's weird is that we went to Nashville and they haven't seen the girls for two weeks. And I just felt like when I last saw them, everyone went to Emily's house, they were just sort of going after each other or I'd show up, you know, I will just leave it in the lips and you can figure out the rest. And of course, we've been together long enough that you know going after each other means coming after me

It's fun for me. It's fun. So yeah, I'm totally excited and then she tells us well We've never discussed through the untrusted were the ambush from Emily and Gina, so That's a potential problem Well, I'm glad that Heather and I are finally in a decent place wherein she threatens me and my life, and I just nod plainly and maybe brush them off her shoulder. Feels good to be back in that dynamic. Cut to clip. If you ever come for me or my family, you will do more than just my friend. You will do more.

This will cost a lot. So Shannon's like, well, I've really been having a wonderful time reconnecting with Heather. I mean, we went to Haviers. She had us over for Nopu. She threatened to sue me into oblivion if I ever said anything critical about her or Terry to grow. I love it. I love this. I love this vibe we have. Fun times! Commissions. Here comes one right now.

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feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then we go to Heather who's, you know, in her closet and we get shots of her empty rooms in her house. It's just this big, cold, empty house.

And then we find out it's because there's a ding dong from Gina and it sounds like this I think what she's got a doorbell and everything she's basically like Ringing the housekeepers special doorbell. I guess that for when like provisions come like on below deck She's ringing the wrong doorbell. I was like it's Gina. She's bringing the wrong door bus like it's Gina It's Gina who is this? Gina and then the lady is like, hello Is somebody there? It's like yeah, come on. It's Gina. I have to stop putting on the funny accent What can I do for you? I'm here to see you

And Heather comes down like oh my god. You can't hire good help anymore. And yes? I'm here to see you. And Heather comes down like, Oh my God, you can't hire good help anymore. And yes, I'm referring to you, Gina. Ha ha ha ha. She's like, is this not the doorbell? Like, where's the doorbell? You're like, who was talking to me? Oh, that's just one of the ghosts that haunts here. Okay.

Anyway, it was Alfredo, lady Alfredo. Ha ha ha ha. So she's like, oh my God, packing really Gina. She's, oh my God, I know. I, you know, but it's just a nightmare. It is a nightmare. I have three pairs of pants and deciding on which to to bring really, really has taken up my entire morning.

I get it, Emma. I get it. Do I bring the one with the knee patch or the one with the patch on the other knee? So then Gina's the Heather's like, okay, I'll just come into my gigantic closet so you can watch me pack last few things. So they go in there and she's like, my quad. I may have had one of two dreams about this closet since touring a home. Like those in like my sex dreams, just dreaming about a closet.

And then we see like a close up of a tag, like a special tag that says, Heather's closet on it. It's like so excessive. You really is. And Heather's constantly doing her turf things. You know, she has all the temple party. We've mentioned this, but she has all the temple parties.

She has the trip. You know, she's like got the power. It's like welcome to my den of power, my closet poor person. Now you will do everything that I say. So Gina is like, you know what, this is crazy. Like I have so much to do. I'm running around create, I'm running around like crazy. And how they're just, but we're fine private. So she's like, oh my god, red, that's's red right here. You know what? That's the bomb calm. There's going on right there, which you've got going on

Hey, so I'm gonna ask you a favor and I feel really bad doing this But I know you in the wella then you're not like thick as these but for me I'm so excited to go but I'm also feeling guilty like I feel like I'm gonna come back and be like oh my god Kappa was great. Like how's your life still blowing up, huh? Listen, I've talked to her four times. So you know, it's really a big deal. Like I really just wanna make her happy.

You know, it's just something, and Heather's like, you know, the thing is that I don't not like Noella. I've met her four times. I mean, come on. It's just something always goes off when she's around. Okay, and I did extend the invitation for her to come to Max's party and then we get home

and Max opens her present and Noella did give her a pretty questionable gift. I like when she like tilts her head and nods with her eyes wide open, and then like does a holly hunter thing with her lips where they were just really tight. It's like very questionable. Oh, he also lips.

She's like, I'm gonna go on, what did she give a, okay, well, well first there was an H&M catalog, which was, we don't allow those in the house. He he he he, second. It was a pride themed card game, which is very nice. H&M catalog which was we don't allow those in the house Second It was a pride themed card game which is very nice You know, they're both bisexual and that's great for them whatever that means and you know But max is 17 and I'm gonna read you some of the cards from this card set. Okay

Licking that pussy right Pussy right What kind of card game is this I mean and it was funny watching Heather I hear that Heather curse was like a sailor off Camera but it's still really funny Seeing her do it because she just doesn't seem like the type you know, but she's like all right. Let me read these Pussy pussy face face get your dick set in my butt hole okay um love your calling in my throat I mean what how does that even happen how does it look at look at this one I just ate a bow off the cake I mean that's just offensive

that's offensive one of the cards she reads every single word is a bleepable word she's just like bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep oh and get this one this one says It says my name it says telling Heather the fuck blast see where be where see where D word P word a word be where My favorite one was one once you guys okay. Here's one the careless cock So what the fuck is no well-up thinking like what is wrong with no well-up? Okay, I'm gonna start bitching and going crazy about Noella. I'm glad she's on the show. I think it's she's helping it be a really good season But man this this lady's nuts. I mean, who does that? Who does that? Who does that?

Noella was, I've been mainly on Noella's side this whole season, but this episode, it was, she's, I think that she's sort of, like, swung and missed on all the fronts. And this one, I'm like, that's odd. Although that being said, Heather is acting, like her child is, is like seven years old. I mean, you know, I think it's just even if someone gave me that now.

You know what I mean? It's like a birthday. We're with my family and someone brought me a gift and gave that to me. Yeah, I mean, one of my mother's friends and they gave me something that's like, oh, you're gay. I'm gay too. Here's a, here's, here's cards that are like, that mean the buttole with you, giant. I'm kind of pussy-cooling. Every now and then someone will give me, I'll get like some random gift for something. Here's cards that are like, fett me in the butt hole with your giant cat pussy, colon. Every now and then someone will give me, I'll get like some random gift for something.

Whether it's like, I don't know, like you never know, you know, when you sort of just randomly get stuff. And sometimes it'll be like a coffee mug that'll say something like, you know, Mondays, am I all right? Gonna go jack off now. I'm like, I'm not gonna put this mug in my cupboard

and like have people drink out of this, you know? Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, weird, weird gift. And so, she's like, so, I mean, it's like, at least the one with my name was funny, because, you know, my name was in it. But it's basically pornography. So, tell me, why is this a good decision?

And she was like, well, I can't promise it's gonna go well or that it's a good decision at all. And others were like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. That is not a good pitch, Gina. Hey Heather, it's your husband Terry. I heard there's some laughter going on in here. Mind if I join in? Sure, come on in, Terry.

Ready? Are you ready, Gina? Okay, Terry Terry hit it. All right, Terry. Go back to work. Thanks for coming in, honey. So, um, yeah, basically, yeah, there's like, if you want to invite her on this trip, it's going to cost you a lot more. You don't have to. I should. This is on you.

Oh my God. All right, so I'm like, then the Wala hold, I'm like, then the Wala whisper, all right? Okay, you know what? I appreciate it. Heather, you're so sweet, okay. And Heather's like, you know what? I appreciate it. Heather, you're so sweet, okay.

And Heather's like, you are underwella duty. So then we go to Heather driving with Peter, her driver. She's gonna try and make Peter happen. She's trying to pull a bath in me, basically. She's like, oh really? Who's the richest housewife? Okay, we'll see. We'll see.

Yeah, so she's just sort of chatting with Pete, the driver, about like the trip and she's like, well, there's going to be champagne on board. There's only three bottles. So I don't know what everyone else is drinking. And Peter is just looking in the mirror back at her. Like, this woman has never talked to me. Like, I didn't even know what her voice sounded like.

That is so true. So then Heather is like, you know, we got a Cabo 10 times a year. Maybe more sometimes. We love Cabo. We want to buy it. We want to buy the entire city. Peter, so glad you're here. Watarie and I are going over plans to purchase Cabo and just build O for it.

Exactly. My name is Alfredo, which is kind of ironic. Hold that figure. Please try to use the right bell next time. You're embarrassing. I don't think I'm the right Heather for you. So, um, so yeah, they're, they're showing up with a private plane terminal and Heather's like, you know, Shannon and I have historically always had a great time on trips.

And then we see a flashback to them, I think in Bali. And you see a monkey climbing on Shannon and Heather going, oh, your dress is very dirty. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then it's a shot of them swimming with dolphins and, like, Heather's helping Shannon swim with the dolphins. And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Just put your hand out. Oh, well, I just say, ha, ha. OK, I'm going to need you to stop speaking because your frequency of voice is scaring away the dolphins. Ha, I just say, okay, I need you to stop speaking because your frequency of voice is scaring away the dolphins. Okay, those ones aren't scared. Those dolphins are actually mating over there. Just keep doing it, Shannon, keep doing it.

Oh my god, the blue whales are mating too. Everyone's going nuts. We're solving it. But the time the vacations over the ocean is repopulated itself. And the news is like, okay, everybody, you can go back to fishing. Let's go back to commercial fishing. Okay, they're now taking over. This is now a world run by fish. I'm signing off. This have actually started to grow feet and take over cities. So Heather is saying how she's excited to get to know Emily and Nicole.

Nicole couldn't come. That's all we hear. So I'm thinking is Nicole not coming because Noelle is coming. So she's going to protest, but now based on what you're saying, it sounds like there was stuff happening behind the scenes. Well, yeah, it sounds like she's being a huge adiva and she's really not in that position, like, oh, lady, you're in no position, you don't control anything, okay? So then, no, well, it's not coming with them. She's coming late and Heather loves that, of course. So then on the plane, we get Gina Cam,

which basically means it's like an Android phone from seven years ago, you know, you know, it's like, so it's hard to really tell what's going on. Yeah. And, um, and Heather's telling them what the whole plan is. And you know, says, you know, some people would look at Heather and say, she's controlling. I look at Heather and I think this bitch is handling everything I mean this is amazing. Wow. I love it Yeah, of course, you know she does and Heather's like well, I think it's very important to write everything down on trips That's what's very important. I have a yellow notepad. I get it all down because if there's not a framework, then you know, there's just no plan. There's no plan. And that's why I have a room dedicated solely to

yellow legal pad storage. So let's see what else here. Fun Shannon, Shannon vacation vacation Shannon's fun. Ha! And then we're in Cabo. And they do a van cheers. Some of they arrive at this largest state with a gate. You know, gate's very important. And Shannon goes, wow, I'm just looking at the trees. And to know what I'm saying, gorgeous. Whoa, Heather, taking me on a vacation where there are trees!

I will never forget this new best friend, Heather DuBrow! If you come from our palm trees, again, this will cost you a lot. Oh, I was complimenting them. You will lose more than just a friendship. I was nice. And I don't mean this so so far. I like the palm trees. It is a promise. I'll just a friendship. I was nice. And I don't mean this as a threat. I like the palm trees. It is a promise. I'll just be quiet. So they're getting out and Heather's doing this thing where she's, you know, she's very

aware she's on camera. So she's walking around like posing for the camera, like doing all these different shots. She's so ridiculous. So then everybody's trying to be glamorous on this vacation episode. So everybody's getting out on glamorous week, and then Shannon gets up to get out, and then she's like, Shannon, pull your pants up, your cracks out. She's like, oh God, you see what I deal with? Oh, pins, you see what I deal with, I've got pins.

So they walk into the villa, and there's cocktails, everything. Oh, Mouches Gras, yes, Estiquila? Estiquila? Wow. And then there's like a Mariachi band and there's like ladies who are dancing and it's like 95 degrees out and they're all like, Jean is like, aren't they hot? I mean like it's so hot, how are they dancing right now?

Guys, guess what? Here's my story line for this episode. I'm hot, alright, I'm hot. And I'm's my storyline for this episode. I'm hot. All right. I'm hot. I don't like it. It's hot here. I'm right. Are they hot? I'm hot. How can you even hold that? What are you holding right now? A guitar? Is that a little guitar? It's your guitar hot? Because I'm hot. Ask a guitar if it's hot. I'm very hot. So then they go for they go on like a tour. Like how they get this big master room that has like a pool in it And then they're just like going around and there's like lots of rooms and casitas

I was like thinking back to Carrie Brittenham's Mexican Villa that they went to in season four of Dallas where Lee Ann Lachin was like grumpy the entire time and It's like that but without 90 levels Yeah, it's more stairs that stairs. Now we're at least there's lead to. So Emily and Gina are basically going to stay together in a casita, which is appropriate because that's like, you know, when I hear the word casita, I know unfortunately only think of Gina.

And Gina has this whole spiel about how like Emily and I are like vacation wives, like when we're together, we like together. And then like when Travis not here here Emily just like takes his plane She just slides right in Yeah Um and they've got four free rooms, but they're like no, we just want one. Thanks So they have one with two twin beds and they start dancing around and then they spoon Yeah, and Shannon's like trying to be part of their group. You know, so she's like, oh my god. This is so adorable

I'm gonna come visit you and Emily goes only if I invite you, okay? She goes oh Okay, well I'll come only if I'm invited Yay Oh, I guess I guess the two Newarkest members, I guess they'll call it I guess I guess me as the veteran of the show I guess I'll just have to wait to be invited to be in A-Seen. Hi, I guess we're gonna have to wait till it bitches down before they call the vet in.

So, I'll be here. So then Jen goes over to a nice little corner of the estate and starts face-totting Ryan. And he's like, looks nice there. And she's like, eh, looks nice there and she's like, yeah, it's really nice. We grew a pineapple. Oh, cool. The kids planted them? Yeah, well, we all planted them.

Yes, why didn't I was working? Oh, I put it under the lemon tree. We have a lemon tree. I like, can you just like leave? Get it to worse. Oh my God. For the sake of you, for the sake of your children, for the sake of me, just get it to work.

You're ridiculous. And her whole story of like, oh my God, I'm like not even in my kids' life. Yeah, that sucks. You know, like what do you want me to say? I get that you have a job and everything, but I really don't want to hear about it. You're boring me, baby.

And that. But also like, can you just not introduce tension into, like, pattern about a pineapple? Because he's like, yeah, we all planted the pineapples and she's like, well, I was working. I know, she's like blaming him that she wasn't there to help plant the pineapple or something, so some weird planarie.

He's actually trying to be positive and shirtless, you know? And she's like, oh, pineapple, we have lemon tree. We have a lemon tree. By the way, working a lot does not mean you don't know about it. You can work a lot and still know that there's a lemon tree on your property, by the way. Like how do you not know there's a lemon tree? There's a tree with lemons on it.

Don't you do not look out the window, do not look at your property? Yeah. Lemon, lemons are pretty obvious fruits. Okay, they're not, they're not, you know, camouflage free. It's not like a mango that you're like, oh my God. Is that green thing of free?

It's not an avocado tree where you're gonna be confused. You're fucking lemon tree lady. It's a fucking lemon tree. And also when people have lemon trees, they're very obvious about having lemon trees cause it's always like, do you want some lemons? We have like a million of them. I got lemon tree.

They are like, and 11 people are like 11 people are actually I'm jealous I would love a lemon tree I would love just like free lemons just all the time But like lemon tree people always like oh god. We have like a million minor lemons in our backyard Fuck yourself So... So... Commissions! Here comes one right now! Oh, so then we get wacky horn music, because we're on vacation! So, Gina and Emily come up from their nap,

and they sit with Heather to talk, and Heather's like, Sorry! I've been MIA for a moment, but my architect was here, so we had a little meeting. Of course, of course, Heather arranges a meeting with the architect in the most central room of this villa where everyone can see. And she's like, so I've been a little MIA, when they haven't, they literally just,

they haven't been doing anything where she's been missing, you know. If you think about it, if you think about it, Heather has never had an episode on Orange County ever and all of her time here that she has not revolved the plot around spending millions of dollars on home. That's all she's ever done on this show. Okay, when's built, you're coming on again, so now you need to build another fucking mansion. This time you'll up the stakes by doing it somewhere else. Wow Compel us in Josh and Josh at least

What do you mean you know that show the show Josh With that comes problem, but I don't like pizza. I don't I don't like that kind of I don't like pizza. I don't like that kind of, I don't like goat cheese on my pizza. Well, it's better than Josh and Josh. Play that. Also true. But no, I was saying because it's like a show about how like property development. Oh, yes. They do the same thing. Yeah, I mean, even like I'd rather watch how the Debroube built a house than watch the

Josh's do really anything with houses. Yeah, okay. I hear you. Sorry. It's just like a sudden, like out of nowhere. Little Josh hate. Josh. Josh. You know, yeah. So I had this like, yeah, I have an architect here. You know, an architect, Gina, it's the person who built houses. You ever, ever know you've never heard of it. Hey, you want to see? You want to see mansion plans? Come sit down. I put out some hard candies for you also. You know what, Gina? Sometimes a vacation is letting your brain go places that your body will never afford

Okay sit down and let's look at some house plants Look this is the house is I designed yeah, so that's the front of the house. Okay. Yeah, and there's that and I heard there's talking about how she wants to have like a really beautiful, cool, sexy hideaway. And she's like, well, wouldn't it be cool to give our kids something that could be there? I'm getting emotional. Hold on. Oh, God. We had our kids later, and I won't be here forever, and I want them to have each other in a huge

palatial house in Mexico. Listen, I had a dream, and I could only see Max and Nikki So I don't know what happened to the other kids if they're not speaking to me anymore. Whatever who knows But I do know that Max and Nikki were there and they were watching something I don't even know what it was, but one of them said to the other mom Mom would love this. And so, I need to make sure they have a house to say, to say that in a really, really big house to miss me. And I don't want them missing me in a tiny house, or, you know, a little motel, something like that.

I want my kids to miss me while they're rich. Ha, ha, ha. God, that was such a beautiful dream of them looking at something. Wait, it's coming back to me. Oh my God, they were looking at... God damn it, they were looking at that pride card game. Gosh!

I would not have loved that. What are they talking about? So Heather's saying that she wanted something that was already built in Cabo and she's like, well, you know, maybe there is something you can get off the rack. She's like, oh, God, you're disgusting, but I still love you. Okay, you know what? We're going to go out and look at houses. We're going to look at land.

So here's the deal. Do whatever you want. And then we're going to spend time looking at houses and land. Great. So they're going to go horseback riding. And, and Gina's like, oh my god, I'd rather ride a horse than go in the water because I'm just five of a shark tank. And then we see that shark that did surface

while she was mother in Key West, an actual shark. So then meanwhile, Nuala's packing up in Orange County. She's kicking re-read her first few cases. She's like, I wish I could bring you sweetheart, but you haven't been vaccinated. Which I wonder, is that like a little code about Nicole? Oh, probably, probably. No, well, a shady. So then let's see. No, well, it's like, well, obviously,

I'm the last one to be invited by Heather. Oh, it's okay. I see the shade, but I can get over it for a fun time in the sun and a skinny girl margarita You better if you want to have a free trip so then Now where there's there's a party van going to see the horses and Shannon spring sunscreen and everything and she's like well You know I I'm horseback riding today because I I grew up with horses. We had 18 acres I had horses my old childhood I also had dreams my whole childhood, which don't have those anymore, but you know

At least they're still horses. Oh Thinking back on those 18 acres and all those horses which eventually got turned into a business for David to make Lots of money and spend on a horseny Met on a beach. So, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho because horsey horse horse horse horse story horse story insert horse story here that no one really cares about and she's like no I don't know how to write it worth but I'll tell you this person asking me room asking me questions in the diary room I'm hot okay I'm very very hot hey what's a you hot I'm hot so they start writing their horses and everything. And Emily's cantering around, did Gina saying this whole thing about how Emily looks great on a horse, yada yada.

And then we go over to Heather sitting with Jen, Dr. Jen, and they're talking about diets and everything. Heather's asking Jen if she's on a strict diet and Heather says that she doesn't eat carbs at home so that way she can eat when she's away. Yes, and James, like, well, I'm like on a really narrow diet, like unless somebody else does it for me, you know, like, for example, one time the nanny made chicken, and I was like, I mean, okay, sure. I mean, how they're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, once the Nanny made chicken home he wants that is wow, that is a great story

Check well sometimes like Ryan will steam vegetables like sometimes not all the time I don't want to make it sound like I have a good marriage that would be horrifying, but like sometimes you know I mean I don't get home till like eight or nine some Wait, and you're telling me you don't have a live-in chef. That's what I'm hearing here So your chef is off campus. Wow, this is a sad story. Here, let me class my hand around your hand for one moment to show empathy for you and your chefless existence.

I'd also like to leave you a copy of my book, the keto twist. What was it? The keto, what do you call? Keto fusion. It's like, I think that was what it was called, wasn't it? The keto fusion diet. Not to be confused with confusion,

which is ironic. So Heather's like, you know what, Terry, in that part of your career, he was never around, but then he got to a place where career, he was, you know, he was never around. But then he got to a place where he realized he needs to make changes because he was massively wealthy. But, you know, you don't have a chef. So we know it's a long road for you. Yes.

So, um, Jen's like, well, I really want to do a leg workout because, um, well, first Heather sees a guy, a hat seller, you know, a guy who sells hats walking on the beach with like 30 hats on his head. And goes, wow, Justin, that look fun. The walking part, I mean, the walking part. No, like the walking part. Yeah, I sure, it's much really hurt. He must not have an entire closet dedicated only to hats, must wear them all the time. And that starts Jen on telling this story.

She's like, well, I'm gonna do my like workout because you know I've got like bone tumor issues, so wow this conversation just gets better and better You know what is good sometimes to see how people are living So I hope you enjoyed the cans that I left in your suitcase and you take them home to your family And please don't call me. Okay. If you need me, I'm drafting a design for my own pineapple room. I overheard your conversation to Saddam want the building room for growing pineapples.

So then we go to Hortback to Horses and they've set up like a little champagne picnic and it really, I mean for housewives it is a pretty sad setup. It's like a time you little blanket and one bottle, you know, but like one ice thing. Yeah. And like, and not like a bucket that has ice, but like, I don't know how much ice is in there because those those champagne bottles are obviously like blazing hot because one winds up popping on its own and just one like pops very easily and they're like And she's like, oh my god My life flashed before my eyes And I was very depressing. Oh god. Would you like to see a retrospective of my life?

Mm-hmm. It's that. Okay. It's a real beaches. I'm just warning you girls So Emily is like well, what about Noella? Let's talk some shit. So Shannon says that she's really worried about the reception. She's going to get from Heather. And she says, that's the only reason she's on this trip. It's because I asked for a personal favor from Heather. Oh really?

Wow, she should have gone for the gash. Always go for the gash. Always go for the lump sum. Gina. Okay. This is Shannon's like, well, I'm surprised that Gina had to give in's Heather to invite Nuella, I mean, but if there are such feelings of animosity between Heather and Nuella, thing.

Yeah, I would worry about that. I would worry about that, just sort of how I used to worry about David going off to the beach and starting Spartan races and inviting me to Gasharpub's Shikri Sources on the steak for my birthday, for my birthday, for my birthday. And Jim is like, well, you know, I just think if we can get them under the same roof, they can bond. That's what happens when people don't like each other.

If you just stick them in a room together for long enough, they kill each other, Gina. That's what happens, okay? I don't know what kind of fucked up law law family year from. Okay, but this never works. I know. I literally just saw thing in the New York Times about like fighting on Reikers Island and like the gang wars, turfs that happened there. It doesn't, it doesn't work out well. Okay. It doesn't work out.

So Shannon's like, well, she didn't fight with us and that's worrying. And she's like, oh, come on. She had an appointment. She's like, okay, well well how about this, girls? How about we try to maybe act as peacemakers? So when we leave, they're getting along. What do you think about that? Isn't that what, isn't that what Gina was just saying? Yes, but now I'm saying.

Gina's like, yeah, let's just take one step in the right direction. Okay, she needs friends. And then at that point, the champagne bottle just pops. And they're like, ah! By the way, I think that Gina is being so nice to Noella because she knows that Noella has been talking shit

about her. And so she's gonna be as nice as she can and do so much for Noella so that she can have the bigger like, you hurt me. I did so much for you. How could you? Later down the road.

I think so. So now back at the villa, the horse, the horse ladies come back and they're at the front door and chast like, well, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't open the door. Do you guys, do not open the door. It's closed. It's like, it's almost like my ex-husband's emotional access closed.

Can't get in there. Can you turn a knob? No, there's no knob. You think I don't know how to turn a knob? There's got to be a knob. How do you open this door? And there is no knob. It's like this big beautiful, sun-carved into it.

Well, it's official, ladies. We just have to burn the door down. And if the entire villa goes with it, so be it. Everyone, step back. I got my match. And who says, of Gina's like, Ah, you push it, it's a push, it's a push. I find that in life that if you try to appear

in enough windows, you find that which ones are the push-ins, which ones are? Because you know Shannon is one of those people who just walks right into grocery store windows like in her turnos. You know, like, whoa, I thought that was gonna open. Don't these open? No, I guess, I guess Shivalry really used to have with these non-opening doors for women

walking in, fine. Shivalry is dead in robot door world. That's for sure. Good luck finding a slider to date. You monster. I'd like to speak to the manager that supermarket your door did not open automatically. And I think that that should be fixed. All right, ma'am, one second.

Page and Mary Bearhart, we got a customer complaint about the door. Sorry, ma'am, Mary Bearhart's been on break for a long time. Don't know where she is So now everybody gets ready for dinner and jumps in the van and others like oh girls Terry said hi by the way Yeah, yeah, oh that's right tonight's that night where they're all gonna be getting together for dinner, right? Okay, And cut to footage of them having dinner. No, we're not doing that. Okay. All right.

Well, I thought I was gonna have more time with that footage to say nothing. Our husbands are really boring, ladies. Okay, we're gonna need to work on that. So then Shannon brings up Noella. She's like, well, hi, Texas, Noella. And turns out they wouldn't take her passport card. And feel like, wouldn't take it. Did she forget it? No, while she said they wouldn't take it. And I believe her, because I'm friends with Noella. And if she says they didn't take her passport,

then I believe Noella. Well, okay, interesting. Well, I think that she forgot it. And Heather says, I have mixed emotions about Newella showing up on the one hand. I'm like, it's gonna be great to worry. We're going to seamlessly add in a six person who might bring pornography for us all. But then the truth is, I'm smarter than that. And historically, which I like to say, historically, historically I'd like to say historically,

by the way, whenever Newe novella shows up it goes to shit Yeah, and of course novella sends another tax that she's so funny below me. She's like Well, I'll read this. I don't want to do novella's voice because I would never just respect such a close dear friend But it says Sorry, how to get my driver on a run for my passport book. It's like, oh, okay. Okay. You drive, we get it, we get it, Nuella.

So then, Nuella, we see Nuella arriving at the house. And she's like, oh, thank you, love, to the person taking in her suitcase. And she goes, for a moment, I was nervous, I would be putting a bad hotel. Uh-oh. I said then, she's in her diary room. And she goes, Everything is lovely and I'm not trying to be shady. But, and she like whips out a fan, does like the fan thing. And she goes,

I'm a guest and I should be grateful that I got the invitation. But I would have made an effort to be there for my guests on their arrive. Noella, you didn't bring your passport to fly to Mexico. Okay, and you're late, you had to take a different plane and they had reservations. What do you expect? She's ridiculous. So then we go to the restaurant and there's a guy who's like,

we're gonna take you to the jungle room. And then there's like, wow, look at at that what class. Thank you so much sir So they go in and Gina's like so how do you feel about ginger? Well, I wouldn't use that word I think that's a hateful hateful word meldy ingredient. She and oh Good because I've really hated the film Annie. I said it. I said it, you brought it out on me, I'm sorry. So yeah, they're gonna do a ginger mescalita together and Noella's gonna be there any minute. And Gina's like, you know, it's a really big draw

being responsible for Noella. I mean, Noella's Noella and she's a bit of a wild card and I don't know if I'll be able to tame this wild child, okay, and I'm like a little worried that we haven't checked in on her. Or I said, like, how's it going? How you feeling? I'm like, Gina, just text her then.

Why is she acting like she needs everyone's approval to take, if you wanna, if you're feeling weird that you haven't checked in on Noella, then check in on Noella. I think she's totally cringed by Noella, but she's the one that production will get to do whatever they want, you know? Like, no, go over to Heather's and make some reason why she has to come on this trip.

So we can't just be leaving people out Heather doesn't like, you know? Yeah. And then Noella comes in with her Countess Luehne. Hello, Chekeytans! Hello! Neh-Ca-Noella, who is probably wasted from the plane and from the margarita she got at the hotel. She's like, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, order, right? Yeah, that's what I wrote down to you But I was like biscuits and oysters. What the hell no Brussels sprouts. I thought Either way, I mean somebody wants oysters So I have there is like so what happened no well up on you know with you and your trip and she's like

Oh, you know little rich girl problems because I'm rich you guys get that you get that for my driver text earlier You see I'm so rich that I brought my passport car when I fly. Listen, normally it's private. Okay, but I was informed at the airport that for international travel, you need your actual passport. Live and learn I guess. Girl, I mean, you were not raised flying private for your whole life. It's been like the past few years, Max. Yes, she was with Sweet James for six years. I mean, get over yourself. You don't forget that you need a passport to travel to another fucking country.

Yeah, everyone's pretty aware about passports. I think almost everyone who has flown in the world It's like so she's like well, I'm used to a certain way of traveling and here I am trying my best And I know I sound spoiled as fuck, but this is my first trip since losing my private plane was losing my private plane. It's, no, well, listen, I love, like he said, I love that no one is on the show, but she's just really not, she's not on the winning side of her arguments.

No, well, it isn't asshole. She is just a total and complete asshole. As a person, as a housewife, and I really love it watching her, and she's great. Her shit stirring cracks me up because it's so put on, but everybody falls for it every single time, which makes me laugh. Like people who've been there way longer

are totally tricked, you know? Like, either they're all just infuriated. I would just, I would like to think I would just ignore someone like this, but I guess you can't ignore them when you're forced to take trips with them and stuff. Well, she's a definitely, Noella is that person who like comes to group dinner and then all of a sudden the entire dinner stops

because then it becomes about them. And then she's full of drama and then she's annoying and then she makes a scene. And then and so you're like, oh, Noella, but at the same time, Noella, I think what I like about Noella is that she's like, she has just like pure, she just like cannot stand Heather. Like she has such disdain for Heather.

And I love that. Like there's such a part of, well, that's such an asshole. And then there's also a part that's kind of real, which I really enjoy. It's kind of real, but it's also just taken from what other people have told her or what she, I don't know.

I don't know. Well, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to get into what I thought about it. Well, but my god She's an asshole at this dinner. So there's like okay, so well Terry taught me this thing where you put an orange in some Cinnamon let's do it girls And then you have your shot of tequila after that. This is gonna be amazing girl. Terry does it So noelle is like um tequila Taste different with eyes. Can I get some eyes, sweetie?

Okay, you know what, just take this cup, let me dump it out here. Okay, dump it out in your restaurant and here you go, just go get me some more eyes. That was such a, she just throws out the tequila. I mean, I know that tequila's getting poured out, but there's something about pouring out to kill at the table into the nearby bushes, which feels like it just reminds me of stories in middle ages

of nobility eating their turkey legs and throwing the bones onto the floor. I just, it's a bad look. And so then they're going to do cheers to with Dequila shots. Cause Heather has planned, she's like, on my schedule between 803 and 804, we have a fun shot. It's a shot that is fun and makes me look fun. So let's do our fun shot. And I mentioned the Terry warm up,

just in case we ever come out with a pre-shot fruit covered with something book. Okay. Pre-shot fusion. So, um, so they're doing this side and I'm like, oh, yeah, the worm to kill us. So fun. And so then Heather, here's what's funny.

This is a classic Bravo situation where I'm like, I don't know who side I'm on at any given moment because Heather goes, I get picky when it comes to vintage champagne. And I understand that when it comes to clarity of color for your diamond, but it's a tequila shot. Throw it back, shut up. And I feel like I can pick you about champagne, cabinet shapes, infinity living room edges,

but this is tequila, come on. Okay, you're really one with the people, have. I know, well, I know exactly Heather who like sent back all those rare cabinets because there was an imperfection. But also, this is not me standing up for Noella because Noella's being an asshole, but also there are people who actually care about their tequila.

And it's kind of actually totally, Tequila actually has, I feel like a value. For her to be like, it's just tequila. It kind of denigrates a lot of, it denigrates tequila. And I'm not being like, you know, for her to be like, ah, it's just tequila. It kind of denigrates like a lot of like a denigrates tequila. And I'm not being like, you like tequila has rights too. But it's actually so dismissive of something that also is like considered to have so many different flavors in. And like, there's differences between shitty tequila and top end

tequila and her to be so for her to act like it's okay to be picky about champagne, whatever. But then she's like, oh like oh whatever it's just tequila sort of just show. Well just to play the devil's advocate here I think that she's saying it's just like a simple shot you know. No I know. So Tequila is not always served chilled so that's not a thing and it was a really nice bottle of Tequila didn't Shannon later say it was Kasa. Yeah it was the Kasa the. Kasa. Floor it. Not so. But it's a really nice. Yeah, but I guess I would say I think they would know the

temperature to serve the tequila at. Like it's a pretty nice restaurant. I've never seen somebody come out and put a tequila shot in a shaker for somebody and then pour it out like ice it and then pour it out. I mean, I don't know if that's done. That's done. I had a timer and I also feel like you're in a nice restaurant and you're in Mexico, I think they know what they're doing. But it just for me, it's just funny.

No, I know, I get what Heather's saying, like literally like calm down, it's just a shot. But to me it just cracks me up that Heather who loves to be like all about, like she's picky about every single thing. And Tequila is actually something that people could justifiably be extremely picky about. I don't know, for some reason it's real, that one really obviously bothered me because I'm not standing up for Noella because Noella's not picky about it.

She's just being an asshole. Well Heather wants this check to come in and kiss her but because she's giving her a chance by inviting her in the first place, right? So she's like, okay, I'm gonna give this girl a chance but this girl never asks for a chance. She doesn't like you.

So she's acting like a total asshole kind of on purpose, being like, warm tequila, grain. This house sucks. Like she's gonna just be as rude as possible about every little thing. And Heather is so bothered. She is so bothered. Heather is really bothered.

I guess the thing is that like, and Heather, in her way of saying that, Noel is being an asshole, she also makes herself look like a huge asshole in the process, I think. Yeah. Oh yeah, well it's like it's always okay if it's you who's doing it,

but when it's somebody else, it's like, Oh gross, being picky about your drink and a restaurant, I'm tearing you. So then Shannon's like, yes, while the blue and white bottle is the kasa, why do I keep forgetting the name of that? Kasa, kasa, kasa. And I'm at least like, oh my god,

your voice is so deep and sexy right now. I'm gonna be calling 1900, Shannon tonight. Shannon's like, oh, and then they cut to her in the interview doing like shenan's sex line voice and she goes hello this is shenan I'll be talking you through your phone sex tonight. I just want to make sure while you've got your penis I can't just say oh my god that you've your penis out, that we make sure that you've had a vitamin B shot on your elbow skin.

It's the best place for it to go, and it really does get all over your body. Oh, yes! Put that red nail on my forehead, followed by a large sun hat. So I don't get splashes on my skin from red nail making it so sensitive. Oh, yes!

What are you wearing right now? Nothing? Oh, oh, I'm wearing some neutral toned spanks and I also have a bowl on my head just because I'm trying to also deal with my aura. I've also, I'm standing on an air filter which I know weird, but it really is grounding in a way that only air filters can be. My feet will not be getting the sniffles. I will tell you that much. So what turns you on? And while you think about that, let me tell you about how I've done amazing damage to my daughters. Amazing damage.

Amazing to ambush my daughters. Amazing to have much. I want to torture you like my de force has tortured my children. Oh god, this was a good talk. Okay, where do I send my check? Here lie Shannon Bedouard killed by rampant sexuality. How do I talk on? So, let's see. So Shannon's laughing about this sex line thing and then while it goes, oh, I love my Shannon phone calls and everybody kind of looks like, oh Jesus Christ Shannon, you know, everybody gets that look on their face. And she's like, you're always checking in. Just the right moment. And Shannon goes, wow, I just feel so hooray about what you're going through. And she says, well, it's one thing to go through it.

Like, you know, you know, Gina, because you've gone through it too, you know, but then I look at you guys, it's like, Gina's got a mug shot. Shanna's like, oh, we started in a fair, and I'm like, you know what, not so bad. My life is really not bad. Wait a go, Noella, wait a go. And Dr. Shanna's like, uh, my life is really not bad. Way to go, Noella, way to go.

And Dr. Jen is like, uh, my life is bad, but not as bad as yours. Noella really can't read the room. Like, Noella is in the Noella show, okay. How about trying growing a pineapple with your children? Okay, Dr. and then tell me, you know how hard it is so I can try it.

So Noella's like, well, I'm dying to know. And Nicole said, I said dying to know what Nicole said. I said to you negative about Gina. So who's going to tell me about that? And I was like, well, she said that you said that all I do is take my kids to frozen yogurt all the time and chop it Costco. And I'm like, well, yeah, I'm like a mom. So she kind of nailed that one.

Nuala goes, I was sure to, my apologies. Which, that, like, it triggered me a little bit because even though we're not recapping this season on Below Deck, the Chiefs do, what's her Heather? Actually, she actually drives me nuts. So I have the fact that she's at the end. But also, like, she's actually, like, very, I think she's like very annoying to the guests

and she's always going, my apologies. I can't stand her. I'm in the latest episode. She's like, you know what, you're right. You did say you're a lactose intolerant on the preference sheet of my apologies. She is so condescending. Oh, she makes overly familiar with the guests

and then she's always like, my apologies. Oh, stop it. Oh, she makes overly familiar with the guess. And then she's always like, my apologies. Stop it. Yeah, she's terrible. So Noah was like, yeah, I was shady, sorry. Which was kind of a bad move because you just gave Nicole, like you were just a good witness for Nicole, right? You added validity to whatever she says next. Because-

Well, but then it also is her being like, no, I'll own up to stuff that I did say. And like when I don't say, if something's made up, I definitely will, you know, I think she's playing the, I'm, I, like, I will be, I, I, I, yeah, I'll live up to what I say. Well, so then Gina's, Emily's like,

well, it was worse for Gina, you know, I mean, I don't want to repeat it. She's, oh yeah, you said that Travis was a loser. Oh yeah, and that he was broken, had no money. Okay, Emily, I got to lose it out. Okay, geez. And then I was like, I know what? No, I never. And then she goes, well, she tells us, I did actually say something about Gina's house. I mean, it was months before I met her and it was just stuff I'd heard from Bronwyn,

which is hilarious that that the Gina house rumors still are circulating around to you know, like Nuella. And well, I think she just watched the show, you know, fricking Nuella. So then Emily is like, well, you know, I think she said stuff to, you know, it's not one side of these conversations. It's like people are talking shit, you know, and who cares? So they were talking shit about us. I don't care. Yeah, and Nemelle goes, I think that they, I think Nicole had her marching orders

to make me look as bad as possible. And the producers like, and who do you think is setting Nicole up? She's, hmm, let me think. Heather. Da. Oh, Heather! Da! Oh! And James is like, well, I just really feel like you need to have fun.

And that's what we're gonna concentrate on this weekend, Noella. And then what I was like, I mean, it's just been like two minutes. Can I just process this information that like Nicole did not to me? Like, give me a minute. Yeah, this girl was like on my favorites list and Emily is like, I mean, you didn't even eat any of your dinner Um, can you stop food shaming me? You know what? Like I've got a pile of anxiety in a shit life like hold on one second Yeah, and she goes okay everyone staring at me now. So okay everyone look. I'm gonna eat my potatoes It's okay. I'm eating my potatoes. Does

everybody happy? Wanna watch? God. And it should be said that during all of this, like the past five minutes of the podcast, it keeps cutting back to Heather DeBro just like angrily wiping her mouth through napkin, like, I'm angry, I'm gonna wipe my mouth and I'm gonna look at my lap and I'll look at your hands. She cannot hide it with those big black eyes, but everybody is over this, right? Nobody likes Noella. And I think the audience is probably with everybody. I mean, Noella sucks. So, Gina's like, I'm trying to manage the dynamic,

and it's becoming a manager, blah. So, Emily's like, oh, I gotta go to the bathroom. So, Gina's like me too. And then Noella's like me, fun life. I mean, I don't know. I just want the biggest number be back girls So Shannon's like I feel weird because there's a lot to talk about with when the call said it appears though The the two of them air their dirty laundry and they're both using things that they said it can't see each other

Wow That's like well, that's not nice and I just have to take a moment to point out the earrings on these ladies. I mean Orange County is always known for its insanely tacky fashions, but what's with the earrings? Dr. Jen is wearing gigantic like glitter. You know, there's like those arts and crafts beads and Emily's wearing it. I guess they're back in, but LOL.

I was cracking up with the earrings. Every time they turn to each other, it's like satellites shining at each other's faces. So Emily and Gina and Noella are talking in a, you know, over in a corner. And Emily's like, you know what, to think about? Oh, no, Emily. She's like, the thing I was saying about dinner

is like you ordered a dinner and you make a big deal and then you make a big deal about not eating it. And I just think that Heather is annoyed with you. She's, and it was like, whoa, whoa, I don't need anyone to tell me how to behave. Clearly, Gina and Emily have drunk the Kool-Aid, the Heather to Bro Kool-Aid. And she's like, wait, are you telling me?

That because I didn't eat the octopus, I've offended our host. Well, if you look in her eyes, she's offended by everything I say. So don't even fight that battle. Don't even start it. Okay. Don't care. Is that okay that I don't care whether Heather DeBro is offended that I didn't finish my meal? I'm like, well, you should be considerate because you're wasting food and Heather's probably paying

for all this. And if you make a whole thing about, like, wow, I can't believe the host didn't wait for me. And then like the host buys you dinner and they don't eat the dinner that you ordered. Yeah, I think I'd be annoyed too. So then Heather is like, well, we're supposed to be having fun. And this is why I was worried about that woman coming

because I knew that she was gonna be doing this. And now we are doing this. And I don't want to be doing this. To be continued. And then we get the mid season trailer, which was pretty early. I thought, like I think we were only on episode six or seven. So I thought like usually the mid season trailer drops around nine or 10. But no, no, this is a shortened season because, you know, it's Orange County. Orange County is basically on the table right now. But you know, at the Orange Shorten season has been great for it. It's been, every episode has been super tight and it's been a great season. The trailer looks like pure bonkers, bonkerness.

I'm excited. I'm excited for the rest of the season. I think that Prova's doing a great job of bringing this one back. And there's a whole thing online where Kelly Dodd is like, she does a show with her husband, and she's like bragging about like, you know what, the ratings are down.

Like we were above like, we were above like these numbers when I was on, but now I'm gone, now the numbers are down. And I'm like, and I think that Jackson's probably doing the same thing about Vanderpump rules. And it's like, you know, the, no, the numbers are down. And I think that Jackson's probably doing the same thing about Vanderpump rules. And it's like, you know, the reason why the numbers are down is because like people, like they had to get rid of people in order for people to start liking the show.

And people, they have to work hard to get people to come back. So that's my long way of saying. Well, they're also down. Yeah, and they're also down because you kind of, you know, the people who get fired who go off about that stuff, it's like, yeah, the ratings were falling down because you kind of, you know, the people who get fired who go off about that stuff, it's like, yeah, the ratings were falling off because you were so lame that people left the show and the one that starts again, they're not going to come back.

You know, once you quit something, you're usually like, I don't, that show started sucking. You know, people don't usually get into the minutia of like, it was all this thing that that one person said about the show's act. That's why I was losing viewers. Okay. They're not just going to pop back up again. You know, you helped get the numbers to be that way in the first place. So it's not something I would brag about. Yeah.

I'm always surprised when people do that because like, yeah, I mean, but I do want people to come back to Orange County because I feel like they've found their groove again. So that's that everyone. Um, we're, uh, we're done for the week. back to Orange County because I feel like they found their groove again. So that's that everyone. We're we're done for the week. So everyone, I have a wonderful weekend. Next week, the big show, it's happening. We're back.

The crappies. Go to watch the crappins.com. And if you can't make it, you can't be there in person. Then you can experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com slash Wwc. Do do come in some form we want to see all of you and thanks so much for listening we will catch you on the next episode. Bye everybody.

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