Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Shots Over the Vow
Episode Date: November 19, 2020There's another vow renewal on Real Housewives of Orange County, but can the ladies stop themselves from taking cheap shots? This week's premium bonus is a dip into episode three of Emily in ...Paris. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens*We're doing a 12 part series on Stitcher Premium called Dwell Hello all about HGTV's House Hunters. Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people lose their hands, they can't guess what happens, but there's so much that happens.
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappings.
The podcast for all that crap we just left to talk about on ye old rives.
I am Ronnie, and over there is the handsome, thin, fully-coffed, gorgeous,
just strongly-armed Ben Mandelker.
Hello, Ben.
I wish.
Strongly armed and quaffed.
I'm not sure of that really, or even thin.
I'm not sure those apply, but I, you know what?
I aspire for all those things.
So thank you.
The Gaston.
The Gaston of recapping.
I have 12 Gaston goals.
Oh, I would love to be Gaston.
That would be like my dream body type.
No, could you imagine having to like poop as Gaston?
I feel like I already do poop like Gaston,
so I might as well have the body for it too.
Well everybody, welcome to a new day, which means
New Hip, New Hip, New Hip.
We all saw as of Orange County.
We will be doing two videos this week for Crappens On Demand.
We're gonna do Southern Charm,
and we are gonna do Real Housewives' Salt Lake City.
Hi.
So if you want to watch shows,
you can watch all our videos on the Crappens On Demand section
of Patreon, that's patreon.com slash watch at Crappens.
We're also doing Emily and Paris recaps which is super fun and
We're heading straight into Thanksgiving week, but guess what bravo didn't change a schedule
So we're not changing our schedule either. We're just gonna keep everything the same
That's right. We are just gonna be a machine. We're gonna be a a podcasting machine
Yeah, so We're gonna be a podcasting machine. So, boil up and get those gears rolling.
Yeah, so we open with new hip.
I write that down every week because it's good.
You should because you know what?
The moment you stop writing new hip, it becomes an old hip.
And so we start with some soft,
sit, and don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,
this is not supposed to be sexy music, don, don, don, don, don, He has pretty good arms. And so, he's proud of them because he's always in sleeveless things on this show and on Instagram.
He's like, yeah, look at my arms and 60, yeah.
So he's leading with his arms.
He's one of those people who always finds a way
to get an arm in the picture, you know?
And he also has a-
Like, cuts off the sleeves.
Like, an angle on Instagram that he likes,
because he's always got his head down
and his eyes piercing piercing the camera like
All of his pictures sound like on Instagram. I
Always feel like I have to wipe my phone whenever he like pops up on my feet
I'm like, uh wipe that off. Yeah, and they're doing some creepy love scene. It's really weird
And so he's like eating with his arm and she thinks thanks for my flowers
That's Kelly's romantic voice. Oh thanks for my flower diet! And he's like, that come because there's more with that came from. I'm like, yeah,
because their flowers, Rick. Yeah, it's a flower. They literally grow.
Don't make don't don't turn that into like it. He says everything like it's a sexual
innuendo. It's like, hey could you set the table's a sexual innuendo. It's like, hey, could you set the table?
Forks?
Or knives.
It's like, oh, oh, I can do both.
I can do anything you want.
It's like, stop.
It's just a place setting.
Yeah.
Are you excited to move here?
And then we get a cut to the psychic saying, you know,
something's keeping you in New York.
Personally works at Fox News and's on my TV every day.
Hahaha.
Something's keeping you at New York, which might be a job that you've had for 28 years.
Yeah.
So, I'm like, well, I know that when Rick is delivering that Fox News, he's looking right at
me and talking right to me.
Yeah.
And Rick has really taught me what love is all about
It's about having sex a lot and then lucky at the camera me like oh
He does my laundry
He cleans my kitchen that's love all right, and then they just stare at each other to like oh, yeah
Let's look sexy into each other's eyes
And she's like you know what it's not only up here, what I like about Rick and his brain.
It's also down there.
I'm talking about his dick!
Oh, you're dork dick!
And then she's like, you're sweating.
Oh, I wish I could sweat like that.
Ugh, I can help you.
You can.
Yeah, I can help you sweat.
I'm like, okay, I'm canceling all television.
I'm like literally sex and television forever.
I'm canceling literally my electricity.
I am changing my lifestyle.
I am gonna be, I'm joining your cult.
I know, I'm trying to, this is officially
the end of my room, Springer.
I am gonna find Sheila from Wild Wild Country.
And I'm gonna say, have you thought about rebooting
that crazy cold you had?
Because I'm ready for it.
It's called that chick from Salt Lake City
and be like, hey, do you guys still have any wagons
in your family?
Because I'm gonna need one.
Hey Keith, while you're in jail,
do you mind if I just like do like a reboot of
Nexium? I just think it would be really good right now.
President Trump, a destination, Nelson Alston news.
Who dressed in action?
Who'd caught me?
Yes, Koda.
Or Hoda, rather.
Who's not drunk?
I'm only used to Hoda with Kathy Lee where she's like
They just laughed the whole time kind of like the girl versions of us
They just laugh and get drunk while doing the morning news But I guess that she wasn't in a laughing mood about corona because she's like president Trump
But restonation on the coronavirus and insisted it was not inevitable in the US
But there was a case in California. And her name was Kelly Dodd. And the case,
uh, researchers said that what's unique about this case in California is that this strain
of coronavirus actually called other strains of coronavirus dorks. Very odd. The strain
of coronavirus is really into her boyfriend, Corona, Corona virus is dick and talks about it constantly.
Unfortunately, this strain of coronavirus,
we don't want to have to cover it,
but unfortunately we're going to,
and as far as we can tell,
it is learning how to sweat
from another strain of coronavirus.
Oh, that's just in from Corona virus.
Corona virus just told us here at the news,
there's more where that came from. Oh, that's just in from coronavirus. Coronavirus just told us here at the news.
There's more where that came from.
We just received a very angry letter saying,
please, who the fuck do you think you are?
I'm the water bitch around here, signed coronavirus. So apparently coronavirus is starting a water company.
Oh, so Gina and Emily are exercising.
And Gina's like, oh my God,
is she gonna make us walk up this hill?
Her accent's getting up.
You know, they're already walking up it.
Yeah, Gina get a bigger accent
in every single episode.
She's ridiculous.
She's not even making sense anymore.
She's making words like three syllables now
that aren't even three syllables just to give an accent.
Is she gonna make us walk up the T-Yo?
I think it's because she's working out, you know?
You know that thing like when someone can have like a really can hide their accent, you
know, but when they get tired or drunk, they just don't have the energy to do it anymore.
So it just starts to fall out.
You know like when like when British people, when British actors try to like do American
roles or vice versa.
And you can tell they've been shooting all day.
And this is like 4 a.m. and they're on set.
And suddenly they're speaking like,
you're on a, I object to what I just hit today.
And I think that's what's happened, Gina.
I think she's tired from walking.
It's a very long way of me saying,
I think she's tired from walking up the hill
and her accent is coming out.
Okay. So she's like, yeah, you know what? Like being in a healthy relationship now
I feel more comfortable in my skin and I'm like fuck you. I'm gonna eat that cookie. Fuck you. I'm gonna have some bread
I get that just like what but it's not it's more just about just being quarantined
I'm just like fuck it, I'm having bread.
So they're working out, they're working out.
So Paulina's there.
Paulina sort of looks like one of the white chicks
and white chicks.
There's something going on with her.
And they're just working out.
Orange County.
That's called Orange County Face, OK?
That's true. that's true.
And so, yeah, Emma's like,
My ass is on fire, new ass!
Oh wait, no, that's my new hip!
And push ups and they're just doing all the exercises.
Yeah, but guys, we're really here to talk about other stuff, right?
So, so you had, what did you think about the birthday dinner?
You know what? I'm really proud of my family right now because we all like had dinner together
and then Matt was seeing and then he was like, Hey, and I was like, Hey, and then we had
some spaghetti and then like my boyfriend said hi to him. It was like, Matt, I'm like proud.
But she also wants Matt to accept responsibility for what he did to her.
Um, and at the same time, she's like, she's nervous about the statement because he's
also doing so well with anger management and Emily is like, um, I understand that like
Gina doesn't want Matt to have a felony on her record, but also Matt is a classic
narcissist who uses guilt to make Gina feel badly about everything she does.
Which seems like it's true.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, and there's no joke there, it just seems like it's true.
And so then Emily, yeah, so basically Emily
is like telling Gina that she should make the statement
and it's like a really important time,
opportunity for her to say how this incident
affected her and Gina asked Emily to go
with her to make the statement and Emily is like,
yes, of course, I will absolutely do that.
And that's something weird happens.
Did you notice this?
Paulina came back.
Normally these scenes, they leave the people leave and then the stars talk.
But Paulina came back and I go, we were finishing this workout.
You're not getting away from this time for abs.
And she was like, oh, yeah, well, I'm good with the abs.
Can I put in workin' in the bad realm?
And Emily goes, okay, Kelly.
So then we go over to Bronwyn,
who is like parking her giant minivan.
And not only is it a minivan,
which I totally, I'm not gonna shame the minivan
because she has literally like a thousand children.
But she also has a,
she has the little stickers on the back,
you know, like the little kids. She has so many stickers on the back of that window.
It's a lot of stickers. That's a big.
I know. It's like the cast of Oliver. You know, it's like, what is this a tour bus?
Gee, it looked like it looked like the Rockettes Christmas special. I was like, I was like,
expect them all.
Those little stick figures. Yeah, I mean, that a that was a fowlings of stick figure children. Yeah, did you see Kelly sing that she was getting in trouble for last
Three I mean every day something
Last week, but she was getting in trouble for a mind what now because she was walking past Bronwyn's house
And she was making an Instagram live and she put Bronwyn the back of Bronwyn's car on
On Instagram and she's like look she hasn't even changed her plate
to Florida, she doesn't even live here.
Like she was just trying to get cheaper taxes
by being in Florida.
Oh.
And she was just making an astute video.
And everyone's like, wow, way that Docs are
and put her license plate on my Kelly.
Oh gosh.
And then it was like this big thing.
Kelly was issuing statements on her Instagram
about it. It's amazing Kelly's capacity just to like do the wrong thing. Yeah. She can
always use the wrong thing. Like it's amazing how like like she like If like she it's almost like a sitcom like like it's like Larry David or something like just doing the wrong thing
The worst thing over and over and over again. She can always make the perfect wrong choice
Yes
So she's like be be be because she's coming up to me who Emily
Oh, listen to Bargit. Oh coming up to me, who Emily?
Elizabeth Barker. Oh, it's real.
Well, I didn't remember I'm a little bit in this scene,
but it's rough having girls with ease in front of their night.
Mm-hmm.
Emily's on power, she's silly.
So yeah, they're gonna go hang out,
they're gonna go ride bikes on the beach.
And so, so Roman Parks, I like that we talked about
Roman Parking for the past five minutes.
So she's Parking for Minivanivan and then they go to the bikes and then
Elizabeth has this gorgeous beautiful dog named Koda and Koda is
I feel Koda is so cute because Koda is like
Like how do you describe it like attachment not attachment issues, but Koda's very much like wait where are you going?
Wait? Are you ever coming back?
Yeah, that's how it's all about.
Are you ever going to go back?
Is this the end?
Yeah.
And are you going to tell me how long you're going to be gone?
Or will I just have to guess how much time I have
to eat all the toilet paper?
Any?
You don't know that yet.
Well, am I supposed to turn on the TV myself?
I thought tonight we're watching Wheel of Fortune together.
Like, I can't do the dumb I own.
I'm a dog.
Yeah.
My dog will get off the couch like he'll
sit next to me on the couch and then walk away from the couch and then look back at me like
you're just gonna let me walk away from the couch. You're not gonna say anything.
So they start talking and Emily's like well my party was different the other day.
Who? What a different party?
And bruh was like you know what I shouldn't have gone. I was already not in a good head space
I just I wasn't ready to say I was an alcoholic because once you say you're an alcoholic you just cannot go back
And Elizabeth's like well, they wanted a party or not not cheers with them
I just shouldn't have done that.
You know, I should own up that to you, own up to that to you.
I just shouldn't have stayed there, but I did,
and I feel so bad, and then it cuts to her like,
thank God we're still here, everybody.
Cheers to having fun all night long.
For the rest of our lives, listen,
I can't help my sister, but I can help Bronwyn,
even if it's in the littlest way, I'm gonna try.
So Bronwyn, I'll put a little bow in your hair.
There you go, little sister.
And Bronwyn's like, well, I'm realizing quite quickly
who my friends are.
I thought Shannon and I were friends,
but we're not.
We have two very, very different accounts
of what happened that night.
And Bronwyn, like she does these mini shakes of her head,
like she'll pause her head and just shake it a little bit
to prove her point.
And she just, like she does.
She does it that.
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
Two very different things.
Or so maybe touch it sometimes for added emphasis.
She'll touch a temple with one of her hands.
Like with four fingers, she'll touch a temple and one of her hands, like with all four fingers she'll touch a temple
and do a little shake, like sort of shake out the emotion.
Yeah, she's like, I've never held my ground,
it has to be swimming.
And walking to her birthday party,
oh, and then she does, and here she goes.
She's like walking into her birthday party,
there was a lot of tequila,
a good friend would have called you and given you a heads up.
But her doing that, that was a big fuck you to me.
Oh, you want to call me a liar?
Then fuck you.
Try and stay sober now.
Yeah.
No.
At first I was like, I think I was like, she's having a party.
And it's like, it's Shannon.
She's been, she's like,
Shannon's like a low-key, very heavy drinker.
I mean, like, she's been a heavy drinker ever since she's been on the show.
Like, she's like a full-on, like, wasp-level drinker, right?
And, like, you know, there's gonna be drinking there.
But I think, but I will say this,
that it's not that Shannon,
I'm wondering if what Brahman meant was not like,
oh, Shannon shouldn't have had booze there.
I think it was her way of saying, like,
if it were my best friend who's gonna be,
who's just started on a sobriety journey,
I would have still called him like,
just so you know I'm having booze,
how do you feel about that?
How, like, check in because you care about that person.
I think maybe that's what she meant.
I don't know, but of course she's gonna have booze there.
And Brahman was even freaking out about it
before she went rightly so,
because she's in a hard position, you know, being at a party with booze and stuff
when you're newly sober. But she was talking then about like, what do I do? Sean, go make
me drinks. It makes it look like I'm drinking. And so she was prepared for it. I think she's
reaching a little bit with that one. Well, I think that it was more, it's not that she's,
I, I, I don't think that she's saying like she was blindsided. I think she just was like, she was looking for like
her friend to just give it an emotional check-in,
like a wellness check and that she didn't really
get that from Shannon.
So I can sort of understand that.
I don't know if it's necessarily the thing that I'd say,
well, now I realize I don't have a real friend,
but I, you know, I would like, you know,
you put that in the binder, you know, for when you when you really need it.
So, so then Elizabeth saying, well, yeah, it's crazy how people in your life just will leave, you know, oh god, when I was married to
Berm, wow, we had a lot of yes people in our life because we had a lot of money and like I would go and I would take my friends
lot of money and like I would go and I would take my friends on trips to take them to Martha's Vineyard and and and Belize and Atlantis is a real place and it's not sunk.
It's there.
How we go there we go all the places and then I didn't have any money left and they
stopped hanging out with me.
Of course, you know, there were people I found on Craigslist.
I said, I want to be my friend, I'll fly at places and they said, yes, but still, you
thought, I thought this stick around.
And Brian was like, yeah, that's why I only do real friends.
And Elizabeth tells us, yeah, I learned early on.
Most friends were fake when you have money,
but it shouldn't define me, but for years,
money did define me.
And now it totally doesn't at all.
And this scene cost me about $75 to do.
Yeah.
I don't know if he doesn't define me.
I'm not a bad bag for it. Money doesn't define me. I'm not a fan for it.
Money doesn't define me.
Hey, check out these pictures of me driving that Ferrari
that I decided to buy myself just for fun.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
So, Ronwin tells her about her mom and she's like,
yeah, my mom knows that I've struggled,
but we haven't really talked.
I can't trust her.
I mean, she found my weak spot and,
ow, she just keeps kicking me in it.
She's like, what kind of mother does that?
I'm sorry but I'm a big fan of mothers.
Love a mom's family best so ever.
I just love mothers but that's inappropriate.
Problem.
That's inappropriate.
Let me tell you something.
At my wedding, I slow dance the song Mother by Danzig.
Remember that song?
Mother!
Why you want to do that thing to me?
Mother! I love mothers but do that thing to me? Mother!
I love mothers, but that's a real main mother.
Oh.
Sick well, though, I'll be there, but I'm gonna go up the day before to my mom's house,
because, um, you know, we're gonna renew our vows every 10 years,
and so I'm gonna go see my mom first and check,
I've got such a feeling that it's gonna be a good moment for you, Bronwyn, a good moment.
Bronwyn's like, I just want a nice pleasant day.
Is that too much to ask for?
Well, have you thought about Bongwoon? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha up with Elizabeth and Jimmy and Shannon and John. It's a big triple date and Shannon's
ordering some tequila and then we see Elizabeth go, I love hummus!
I love it, I love hummus!
You can't smell hummus without us, right? And that us is us right now, we are the hummus.
Okay, we're humming, us, us, we're humming.
It's a sandwich.
Humming cabaret. You know what I did today? I stopped pile today. That's what I We're humming us. Oh, we're humming. So Sam's coming up array.
You know what I did today?
I stockpile today. That's what I did.
And what does that mean? And John's like for Corona.
I mean, I was tired. I just wanted to that, but no,
we had to go clean out Trader Joe's.
Now listen, if you're going to be stockpiling some toilet paper
for the next year, don't get Trader Joe's toilet paper. Get your Asta Costco and get you some heavy,
duty, charm and triple wrapped, five-touple rolls.
Trader Joe's is not where you go to stockpile.
Everything is literally portioned out for meal size.
Everything is like, here's your single night meal,
just a perfect amount for a one meal.
Don't do that.
Also, everything's like annoying.
Like when you're gonna be trying to find your,
like, you're gonna be trying to find your tuna fish,
but it's like labeled something like old fishermen,
someone's those, and so you think it's like a seasoning,
and you don't realize it's actually tuna fish, you know,
and everything's like not the color you expect it to be.
Like the salmon is like, color, it's like the cans purple,
but you sort of feel like it would be a pink or I don't know.
Like I just don't feel that.
Yeah, you have to learn all the brands coloring.
Like what is tuna fish in this brand?
Like is light blue light or is it really heavy with oil?
Like you have to relearn it all.
Also Trader Joe's is just not the place
that has a ton of stuff to stockpile.
There's like five of everything in there, you know.
Yeah.
Also, by the way, how many times has Shadden started a conversation, even before coronavirus,
like, you know what I said today?
I stockpiled.
Like, you know, before coronavirus was a thing, she was just probably like, well, I heard
that there's going to be a tire shortage.
When you know one, there's a tire shortage, they'll be right.
So I wait in my stockpiled for the tire of papakalips.
Yeah if it were like this on beapocalypse and I was starving to death the one house I
would bet on having space ice cream is Shannon's house like just dried out ice cream you know.
Yeah she's like well so I felt it my freezer and then I thought what if electricity goes
out well I gotta get the candy talk.
Oh my good luck getting all the candy's the traitor Joe's, they have like one little section.
It's just tuna fish basically.
Yeah, and she was like,
what she reminds me of that person,
who has a secret bomb shelter.
Actually, I'd be surprised if she didn't have
a secret bomb shelter.
And Travis goes, did you buy a generator?
She's like, oh, oh, a generator.
Oh, God, I didn't even think of that.
And Amazon sold out a hand sanitizer and wipes.
Because he blotted a wall. And by the way, during this entire scene, Elizabeth is coughing.
I'm like, I know she needs to be covered in removed now. I know. Like, well, I'm not sure
in Orange County, they still may be like, it's fine. Go to the salad bar.
Yeah, come on that, everyone,
but they've got a sneeze guard on it.
So everyone cheers to no coronavirus.
And Shanna's like, so,
Gina, you went to AA.
I was like, wow, that's mice right after a cheers without...
Yeah.
Cheers everybody.
Oh, speaking of drinking,
how was your AA meeting with Lyra?
This was Shannin's way of saying,
let's talk to you about Bronwyn,
but I don't want to say that.
So let's just ease into it
and we'll get there in a few minutes.
So Gina's like, you know what?
I actually feel really bad for her
and like my whole perspective about Bronwyn has changed.
And they just cut to Shannon like,
huh, well then, how?
I see what happened.
Did she share?
Did she share anything?
Unlike David, who would never share any of his emotions.
And she was like, yeah, she's shanning about it,
personal anger.
And it was like much easier if I had to be angry at me
than it was to be angry to herself.
Shannon looks so betrayed. She doesn't look looks so mad and she can't hide it.
She's like looking down and all around.
You know, like when she, she gets mad and she looks down at the table,
like there's a fly crawling across it.
Really fast.
Back.
Yes.
So she's doing that.
And she's like, oh,
wow.
And she's like, yeah, she's scary.
You know, it's scary to be vulnerable, especially in front of me. And John's like, oh, yeah, she's scary. You know it's scary to be vulnerable especially in front of me and
And John's like oh, yeah, that's really big and Elizabeth says well
We went back in and she really really opened up to me. I mean it was just
Or does she's just so open and Gina's like well, yeah
How can you be angry when someone just straight up?
you be angry when someone just straight up acknowledges and she's like wow that fly is now on the right side of the table and she did not acknowledge anything with me and I've been a very good friend to
her you might want to check out my yelp review that I've left myself on yelp about friendship I'm a
very good friend there are two elephants in this room One is that Bronwyn was not vulnerable with me and two.
Is this the right size for Brockelini?
Because this looks enormous.
This is an enormous tray of Brockelini.
Where have this come from, Mars?
Well, you know, and her husband's son, I mean, he's supporting.
But hey, has to not enable her.
Because at the party, she was like,
son, she said this, you need something to buy out in.
Yeah. And Shannon keeps saying, she's like,
well you know, a broadwind is adamant on the positions of the words that I say,
you know, the words that I know I didn't say, and I feel like I've been a very good friend to her,
and so it's hardful to me, but I'll get over it, I'll get over it,
because that's just the sort of person I am, I'm a good friend who gets over,
biggest list charges by drunken fools
Well, he's putting terrible coppermotion positions because of her and she's enabling you know, he's enabling and you can't be mad at him
For an able at her when he's getting angry because she wants you know
She's like going on and she's enabling the neighbor
Yeah, she's got seven fucking kids. I mean that's got to take a lot you know I'm not gonna make that worse you know I'm not getting
into that marriage I'm not gonna make it worse and Elizabeth's like well that's big of you
and Shannon is so mad she tells us she's like well it's good to hear that Bronwyn who was
got me for her stopped gunning for her but if you're gonna concoct stories and things aren't getting better on the
Shannin Bedouin Storm side with Ronwin.
Then there will be, oh yeah, so she says that and then they say, and then they reveal that at the
talking about the Valoranule and one of them says, oh yeah, there's not going to be any tequila at
the Valoranule because it's one of her triggers Focuses on Shannon and goes
Like no tequila like Shannon looks panicked like that she could possibly go a day without tequila
And this is like well, we need to be supportive. I mean we can have a shipping cup of tequila on our us on herself
And Shannon tells us what I will be drinking will it be in front of her? No
But I think that Jean and Elizabeth might be taking this a little farther.
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So now we go to Kelly who's at the office for her What Our Company.
And she's like, what a TV there! What a TV, what a Rick on TV! So they're like, I'm blowing
him. Oh
Rick tried to teach me to sweat today. Oh
So Zac who is her cone co-owner is there and
She tells us about her business. So some vest and go quarter million dollars into water
It's like really grown like waters everywhere like look out there. There's a whole ocean of water. I did it. I'm a success. So they're building camera. Fuck off, stupid.
Yeah, and then we find out that they lost $100,000
because coronavirus caused the natural product.
There was like an expo that she went to last year
that didn't really well for her.
And they put in $100,000 into a booth essentially
and then it was canceled.
So they're not getting their money back.
So like, oh, this is probably why she's like,
she likes to be like, oh, this is probably why she's,
like she likes to be like, oh, well,
coronavirus is stupid, it's over,
because she got burned by it,
so she's like angry at it,
so now she wants to act,
she's like, she's basically Kelly Dodd and coronavirus.
Like, you're stupid, you don't even exist,
you're not in the real virus.
Yeah, like she's fighting with the housewife, coronavirus.
Yeah, she's fighting with coronavirus,
like a housewife, because she's like, you saw how angry she Yeah, she's fighting with coronavirus like a housewife because she's like
You saw how angus you was later this episode that Shannon might be making a water so that coronavirus messed with her money
She's treating coronavirus like a housewife and not like in
existential threat to humanity
Okay, she's like you're getting the way of my business like you're making people wear masks. How are they supposed to drink water?
Yeah, that's it. That's like, you're kidding the way of my business. Like, you're making people wear masks. How are they supposed to drink water? Yeah, that's it.
That's like, the middle of her mindset.
Stupid!
People need to drink their water coronavirus.
You're ugly, too.
So she tells Akshan and Bedouard is doing water now.
Oh, God, what a joke.
You know what?
You don't even know what water entails.
So good luck.
And then we got a flashback of Shannon and Kelly
talking at
Proman's house and Shannon's talking about it.
And she goes, well, it's based off the lemon cleanse.
It's called Lemon Aid, like AIT.
And it's like it's lemon and cay.
And it's coming soon.
And I love, of course, I had to do a search for lemon aid.
And there's so many products called lemon aid.
I just love
that this is like Shannon's big like breakthrough like like thing lemon aid. Yeah, Google it first.
So Kelly is like mad that she's going to try and compete with her and she's like there's
no competition there. So Zach is like, um, try this. it's prickly pear. She's like, what's that all? I was like, wow, it's already bottled and labeled.
It's an actually working product and you're talking about how much you know about your water and you don't even know one of your products.
I know and but she's from Arizona like cactus central and she doesn't know what prickly pear is.
What's that? A pear is prickly and stupid. So it in gumbels it. Oh, I had known when it goes stupid here.
It sucks like it's a fruit.
She goes, well, I mean, I don't what a pair is,
but what makes it prickly?
And the guy explains it to her and she's like,
oh, but she looks at him like she doesn't believe in.
I'm kidding.
Yeah, I'm just thinking, stop, stupid.
She's gonna be like,
coronavirus and prickly pairs are myths.
They're not even real or stupid
So Palm Springs Bronwyn's mother's home. They didn't even say doctor depth some they're like Bronwyn's mother's home
Don't don't yeah
And it's doctor dead with a little diamond star thing in between her eyes and her crazy more
Accessorized that ever before
Yes in her element and she craze. More access to her eyes than ever before. Yes, in her element.
And she's like, hi goddess.
Oh, goddess, come on in.
Yeah.
And then she has like this really long hug with Bronwyn.
That's supposed to be like, I'm going to hold you for a long time.
And every second that I hold you is another year of damage.
I've just done done.
That's how it works.
Okay.
All right.
42, 43 seconds seconds and you are healed
You can no longer have resentments against me your mother. Okay, come on in
So let's
Your stepbrother Marley and I are your half-brother Marley and I we're gonna show you around what we've done
We've put a stained glass
Fire pit installation in the middle of this rock garden. It's a work in progress like all of us
Can I get a yes goddess?
Many wedding?
And we are all works in progress, some more than others.
I mean, I guess you could say that I'm kind of just like a,
you know, when you got to find a new battery for your remote.
And you're sort of like a, a tear down, I guess I would say,
but still work in progress all of us.
From what's like, wow, that fire installation thing, that's pretty cool.
Yes, now it's done and we can let it go because letting go, that's what you do.
Right, Bronwyn.
Can I get a yes goddess, anybody?
Anyone?
Anyone?
I think God does a fucking Ritz girl to the down the street.
Get the out of here.
Yeah.
So, um, yeah, so they are, like, they're just being small talk, because the whole reason
why they're there is that Brahman basically wants to, um, have her awkward encounter with
her mom the day before instead of at the vows.
So they're just having small talk.
And of course, it's like total evil mom small talk.
Yes.
You look tired.
Is that even your hair? How are your friends who I like
more than you? How are they? How are those goddesses? How's Kelly? Hard-blank, hard-blank,
and Shannon, she lives close. And Bronwyn's like, well, we're not talking right now. I could
throw a rock at her house. And I don't know. I said that the other day at work to mom,
I'm just insecure right now. But you know what? Gina's coming and Deb's like, well, I met her,
but she's always just not interested in me. Mm hmm. So yeah. And Braumins like, well,
now that I'm not drinking, no one wants to hang out with me, except maybe Gina's, oh,
well, you're just not nearly as fun. I'm saying that's what they may be thinking.
I mean, okay, they're probably thinking
you were only okay to start with
and now whatever you did have is gone
so they probably don't wanna hang.
That's just what they are thinking, not me,
not me as your mother.
It's just like, I don't think she could have said
anything worse than that.
I mean, I just came off a year
where everybody called me boring wind
and then we get a flip of everybody called me boring wind. And then
we get a clip of everybody just dissing Bronwyn, including her mom saying, well, maybe Bronwyn
is boring. Maybe, maybe you are boring, Bronwyn. Or maybe her name should be Bronwyn, not
wine like the drink, but whining, you know, because you whine the lot.
mine the lot. So I'm laughing but this is just terrifying. It's like, oh my god. Every syllable is a therapy session. So yeah, Bronwyn's basically like my mom's been using my addiction
as a weapon for so long. Like always saying things like, oh well, look at Bronwyn. She's
drunk. Oh well, look at Bronwyn. Look while you can't rely on Brahmin not at all so so I think it's
pretty cool that she's over because she's basically taking that away from her
mom which is a great that's isn't that is not a dream she's a dream that's
unattainable because she'll just find something else to bitch about that's true
but Brahmin was like well here's to good choices, everyone.
She's like, oh, did you change the sign in your house that says that?
And so I was like, no, that's still the room for making bad choices.
So then it's raining as the day of the vows.
And so Shannon and Kelly are, I guess Kelly comes over to Shannon's house or something, because
they're gathering before driving out to Palm Springs
and Shannon's like, how so did Rick go to New York?
I mean, is he freaking out about the coronavirus thing?
And she's like, no!
But everyone else is, they're so stupid.
Everyone in the world is a dwarf except for me and Rick,
the dwarfs.
Well, I'm starting to.
I mean, I'm not gonna be a freaking statistic
for coronavirus, that's for sure.
And then the other girls come over, Elizabeth and Emily and Shane, and Kelly's like,
oh my god, is she getting buried outside? And Shane's like, not me more, because it's raining.
And then they're talking about the vows, and Kelly's like, so what do they say? I mean, the artist that I do, do they say, I do?
And then Shane goes,
every time you have a threesome,
you have to renew your vow.
Kigofs,
my kigofsum! Tana na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na I don't know where Elizabeth is coming from half the time. I'm like, but Gina later was like, I don't even know what world this lady lives in.
I guess.
That's kind of how I feel about her too,
but I actually really like her so far.
I like her too.
So now they all get onto the party bus
and I can't sit in the front.
I wasn't as slow up from stupid.
Car sickness virus, such a door.
I love that she believes in car sickness,
which gets her the front seat, but not coronavirus.
Well, car sickness didn't cost her $100,000,
so she's okay with it.
But it's only the kind of car sickness
where you have to sit in the front seat.
Yeah.
So Shane is basically, like John is driving with the kids,
so Shane's going on the bus,
and then the bus leaves and Shane goes,
are we almost there yet?
KING OF SNARK ASSIM!
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a bad choice here. She doesn't need to know about it too, Bronwyn. Okay, but you don't have to confess to everybody you come across in life.
Just go to your fucking room.
Bronwyn is all about saying good choices,
bad choices, everything.
It's like, man, what would you like for breakfast today?
I'll have some bad choices with a side of good choices, please.
It's like, okay, we get it, the choice thing.
Okay, but what do you actually want to eat? But I'll do some good choices around the
neighborhood when I get home to bring up the bad choices.
Thanks.
Tinsley and Dion have a song about choices like,
Her and Her and Her, that's our choices. Something about that?
I'm sure she did, Ben. What are you saying about making choices?
Something like that?
No.
Maybe not.
I wasn't Titanic.
Because otherwise, I don't care.
My choices will go on.
So, sounds like, oh my god, my phone's ringing.
It's rolling.
We need to get the kids here.
The car's not there to get the kids.
And they're getting a tour of the hotel for, you know, ad purposes. And
probably was like, Oh, the pool. Do you have to have fake boobs to get in there?
I've got two of those good choices.
All right.
Um, so, uh, the party bus, right, I just got to try it because of course I try, I tried
to look up the Celine Dion song and I cannot find it so I
I'm I'm avoiding that but I
We're the van with the girls party bus. Okay, so
So they're talking about how Shannon had
Until brawman Shannon had the longest marriage with 17 years and then they're asking Emily asks Shannon if
If she's met David's fiance and who I think they're now married, but at this point, they were still engaged.
And she said, well, no, I mean,
David doesn't want me to meet her.
I mean, I've had many, I've had 40 to 50,
very positive thoughts about,
very, very positive thoughts about this woman
who is taking care of my children half the week
and making care of all tacos for them
and spreading lies about me to them when they're at her house. Care if my children have the week and making terrible tacos for them and
Spreading lies about me to them when they're at her house. I have just very happy
Very happy and I don't know why David doesn't want one minute video. I don't know
I don't know I'm happy Why wouldn't you want me to meet her? I even came up with a really sweet nickname for nicknamed for her slut from the beach
And he
still just doesn't doesn't want to talk or anything. It's crazy. I mean I wouldn't
be mean. I mean he doesn't return my text even and I wouldn't be mean. I mean
all I care about is David's fiance being kind to my kids. Now I don't know if
that's in her capacity because she may not be emotionally mature yet at the ripe old age of 19, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I haven't met her. And Emily is like, well, does she have an Insta?
Oh, I don't look at Insta, Graham. Well, I know because I'm still blocked on your Instagram.
And she goes, yeah, she checks it every night to see if you found butter. Yeah, and I'm like, I've been blocked for two years and she's like,
I mean, I mean, when was the last time I posted? And I'm like, I wouldn't know
Shannon, I'm blocked. So she said, come on, I'm blocked me. I'm gonna comment on
everything now. So Shannon finally unblocked her.
And then he's like, it only took three years,
a new hip and five shots.
I should get confetti coming down on me
and then make confetti come down on her.
Yeah, they did.
They had a nice little like iPhone effect,
iPhone like message effect with a confetti on her.
So then Bronwyn's friend, Sherry arrives at the parker and, um,
Bronwyn's right. Oh, sorry, not sherry. Yeah, I'm not like the berries,
but like the, like the board game. Sorry. Hi, sorry.
Like if you were, if you were Liz, if you were Liz playing, sorry,
anyone want to play shari.
Sorry. How about shoulders of cacange? like, shawry? No, sorry, no.
How about Shower's like, okay, James?
So, yeah, sorry.
So, Shower comes over and we find that that Shower was,
you know, when Brahman was like needed help,
Shower was making all the calls while Sean was telling
everyone that Brahyn's fine.
And she said,
which is not a good sign,
but the way that she said that.
Yeah, she came from Sean
under the bus a lot, I think, in this.
Like she keeps calling Sean in a navel
and all this stuff in this,
but ain't my marriage,
but I would be like, excuse you.
Like if it was, yeah, I would be pissed.
But she's like, well, everyone's coming
up with my dad because he's quarantining because he's a doctor
So we kind of ask the quarantine, but you know what? I'm gonna accept the things that I can't control and what you know
How it goes guys you know how it goes. I mean the weather
The booze
Corona virus and then we go back to the party bus and Elizabeth goes, I just sent my ex-husband a heart emoji by accident.
And we've even do that.
Yeah, why are you texting with him?
She goes, well, girlfriend will probably refuse to marry him now.
Oh, God, I'm trying to be there for brawmal, but I just want to drink.
And she goes, Elizabeth is on another planet.
Like, she can't talk about the divorce, but the only thing she talks Elizabeth is on another planet like she can't talk about the
divorce but the only thing she talks about is a divorce yeah and by the way
Elizabeth is like I was trying to text ha ha but I sent a heart emoji instead I'm
like I don't understand I still don't that still doesn't make sense why are
you texting a ha ha to your ex who you've been in like a terrible terrible
litigation with anyway there's nothing a ha ha to your ex who you've been in like a terrible terrible litigation with anyway?
There's nothing to ha ha about
I ha ha ha iron every tax do you know that my car
So what time does the wedding and from a we're back with Bronwyn and she's like, you know, we're
We've been married 20 years and I vividly remember thinking God now life is just gonna be so easy now and
I told him the other day so honey would you still say yes if you knew everything that lied ahead of us and he was like oh no
So glad we're renewing our house
Yeah, and then back in the party bus. Gina's like make one does note to kill it the renewal guys and Kelly's
No, that's a trick. Okay, it's tequila because I'm sorry. I'm a diabetic so I'm not gonna have cake in my party
Yeah, why would you why should you punish everybody just because you're the alcoholic? Oh
Kelly
Let's go to the liquor store. I'm putting a flask. I'm no quitter
This is I mean it's so obnoxious because like,
there's other booths there. You can still get drunk. It's just not tequila.
There are other beverages other than tequila. I mean, tequila is delicious, but like, have a vodka soda.
Yeah. And, uh, Jim is like, yeah, she said about a sensitive,
a support keep on laying down. I just don't think she's got it in her.
And so they go to a liquor store and buy a ton of tequila.
These idiots.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then back at the hotel, Sean and Bronwyn are getting ready.
And the kids arrive.
And we just see them getting ready and stuff.
So then back at the liquor store, Elizabeth's like, well, did Shannon one barber or two
barbers of tequila?
Cause he's like, get her five.
Shannon.
Yeah.
And Shannon's like, well, I'm not very excited to see
Bronwyn, my last encounter with Bronwyn didn't end so well.
But I'm respecting Bronwyn's sobriety
by asking the bellman to bring my ball of tequila
to the room.
I'm like Kelly Dodd!
I think we see Kelly walking into the hotel
with the biggest bottle of tequila
that she could find in the whole store. Yeah. And she's like, hi Bronwyn, bottle of tequila that she could find. The whole story.
Yeah.
And she's like, hi, Bromland.
I have tequila.
Sorry.
I know it's your trigger, but I just heard about that.
But I've got it now.
All right.
It's here for your wedding, too.
It's my plus one.
OK.
It's like, you just heard about it.
And then you got the tequila.
It's not like you got the tequila.
And then you heard about it.
She says it as if like, oh, sorry.
I was already planning on bringing this giant bottle.
And Brom was like, no, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
And Jean, it's also, I'm your sober friend, Ron, man. You know, and maybe there's meetings
tomorrow morning. And if there is, I'll go and promise like, it's at 745. She's like,
okay, I'll be there. Okay. So then there's, so they're at the parker and like, the parker has all
these like bungalows. You have to walk outside outside a lot and so they walk by this pool and
Shannon reads the sign. There's a sign up there that goes and she goes notice
persons having currently active diarrhea or have had active diarrhea within the
previous 14 days shall not be allowed to enter the pool water.
Ha! Coronavirus! But it's like that's a pretty standard sign on like literally
every public pool. But she's reading it for the first time.
What is it leaking out as you swim? I just what's happening here?
How has she just never been to a public pool? Like I actually it's a it's it's a
hole with water in it. That is that's shocking that they would have those things.
I have never seen a sign like that on a pool. Have you? Yeah. Oh yeah. My old
building had a pool and had that sign up. Have you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. My old building had a pool. I had
that sign up. It's a disgusting sign. It's also crazy. Like, if you have diarrhea, you can't go
swimming in the pool for two weeks. It's like, put some chlorine in that thing. Yeah. Well, also,
I guess just don't go. I think it seems like it would be one of those things that's obvious. Like,
my butt's leaking. Maybe I should be on today, today but I don't know I guess it's sad
what you have to tell some people. That's true too but it's just funny like um uh Shannon
reading it as if it was like a sign of the apocalypse. Um and it's just everyday day diarrhea warnings
everyday diarrhea that's all. So everybody's starting to get ready and Kelly calls her dog and then talks to her daughter
at the same time.
And then Gina calls Travis.
Basically, everyone was just calling or whatever.
And Gina is telling Travis, like, oh my God, you know, Bronwyn said she missed me.
Like we've come a long way.
And then we get a clip of them and those wigs at that tea party last year, her going,
it's not all about you, wrong way!
Yeah, and then Jimmy and Elizabeth have some more of their ice cold chemistry
as they like are coy and flirty with each other and he's like, let's have a kiss. She's like,
oh, okay, let's have a kiss. Oh, oh, not yet. Oh, oh, oh,
She's like, okay, let's have a kiss. Oh, not yet.
Oh, oh.
It's too early to get in.
Well, a little one.
Okay, let's do a shorter one now.
So then we got an Emily and Shane's room where he's opening those tiny little jars of
mayonnaise.
We're trying.
She's like, I'll help you.
And he's like, you're not even, you're not even really trying.
Now you're just faking arthritis.
And then Gina comes over with her dinner and they start
yapping. She makes a waiter follow her all the way over to Emily's room with a French onion
soup and a salad. So they also by the way, bold move, having a French onion soup before going to a
black tie event. Yeah, well, that's that's part of being in a couple You don't look like whatever you want
I guess
So they start talking about the bus ride and Emily's like oh god that got dark when you said there's no tequila allowed to Kelly
It's like yeah, I'm like she really made some incentive comments. She's like well really Kelly did. I'm completely shocked
Yeah, and chance like yeah, she, Shane's being like, yeah, it's just weird because she's making jokes
at someone who has a real challenge in their life and that's just not sensitive. And everyone's
just looking like waiting for like, king of Storkhazen, king of compassion.
I'm passion. Lalalalala.
Lalalalala.
Lalalalala.
Lalalalala.
Lalalalala.
The second.
He and I are surprised about Elizabeth.
I mean, she said she wasn't drinking, but then she was drinking.
Like, what?
And then Elizabeth said, yeah, she's confusing.
She told me she wants her eggs frozen, but like she's with Jimmy.
And I know for a fact that he doesn't want kids.
So like what's she doing? Maybe Elizabeth said that she was literally freezing eggs because she's stockpiling for
coronavirus.
She's like, wants to have breakfast available to her for the next several months.
I made a whole bunch of omelettes and I'll put them in the freezer.
That's all.
That's what I meant by that.
But yeah, but Jimmy was telling Shane he doesn't want kids and then she's talking about
artificial insemination
Yeah, but then what she gonna do with Jimmy? Yeah, look is he a boyfriend because they don't even have sex
Yeah, so weird like you have to have sex to have a baby
It's like you got to do if you want a baby you got to have sex
I'm like what backwards time period are you from welcome to the modern? I know bam
Have you never seen Lukus talking? Thank you very much. So, um, uh,
Bronwyn is getting makeup for like the fifth time in the past 15 minutes.
Like how many makeup sessions and she's trying to compete with Beverly Hills
right now. She is in the makeup chair again. Uh, but now she's changed,
changed into her wedding dress and Sean's like, uh, people say that soulmates aren't real. Oh, no, it's Bron like, people say that soulmates aren't real.
Oh no, it's probably not.
People say that soulmates aren't real, real.
But I knew the minute Shawn walked in the day,
that day, that we would be together forever.
I'm like, it's bad enough that you're doing a vow renewal.
That's enough of a curse.
But now you're saying these sort of things,
you got, this is not gonna end well. We're giving birth to a new enough of a curse. But now you're saying these sort of things, you got, this is not going to end well.
We're giving birth to a new phase of our life. You're going to have to have sex if you're
going to get birthed at. Get out of my scene, you know. All right.
Gina's sex ed. Yeah. So Shannon is getting ready. It's like, what time is it? What time
is it to start? It's six out two and it starts at 6. Oh, okay. I need two more minutes to drink.
Okay, that's gonna be drinking for okay another five minutes. Let me drink some. All right.
Is my neck too fat? Is that this call fat back? Is it too fat? My chest has to be lower than the jacket. Has David returned to my text yet?
No, not yet. Okay, I need one more simmits of Kayla. Okay, I'm so happy. How?
Oh, here lies Shambadour. Washed away from her tequila for Bronwyn's stupid valour.
Newell, I'm happy. I'm okay. I'm okay. Well, some people think that a Valvernoual is a curse. And then we see Vicky and Brooks, and then we see Shannon and David.
So he's like, all I want, dear, is for us to die together and meet together forever until the end of time. The air. Oh, David.
And Shannon goes, well, at our hope for prom winning, Sean.
So, uh, did everyone say hi and Kelly's water guys there?
And he's like, hi, um, question.
Shannon Bador looks like a more Titian.
I just love how the gaze on Orange County just come on so strong. They are like
We are going to like we have five seconds on this show
And we are going to make the most of it. We're just gonna go all the we're gonna go full force
Every single time so she's like, okay, I'm gonna take care of it
So she goes up to Kelly with Zach and she's like hey, or she goes up to Shanley with that
And she's like hey, Shannon to talk about your water you want to do go ahead
Don't let it
Senko's what are you talking about Kelly?
My I'm not doing a beverage. I'm not doing a beverage Kelly. That's like well, it's a meadow water
Just it's a tincture not a water. It's a tincture
She said what before
It's a nice. She said water before. Where she said water before.
And then like it's a flashback of Shannon's saying, well, I'll be making a tincture.
So Kelly's like, what the hell's a tincture? I mean, why would she say that? Tell them
it's like sphincter, tincture, sphincter. It's all water, right?
Oh, so Shannon gets enraged, of course.. This is yeah, she's so mad.
This is the same. She goes over. You never was sitting down for the wedding and she goes over to sit next to John
and she's like, oh, she told her partner. I'm going after her. What?
She's she's over the top furious. Yeah, and she tells us I am an ethical windshield wiper hands windshield wiper hands person who has
morals
Never in French on someone's product and for her to assume I would
That is hurt for
I
Would never I would never so I was like okay, so she got into a hot face,
probably just gonna end there.
But so then the, but I was wrong.
So then the wedding goes on and we have this drag queen,
and I forgot her name,
but she was there to officiate.
Back at shorts.
Back at shorts.
So everyone's sitting down and Emily's like,
we're we supposed to sit and she's like,
I'll sit on your lap.
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,
take a snorke, and add a renewal. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh never with head shenan bador steals water are you fucking getting me oh my god
like shenan how did I say that it's like shenan she just asks she tell you it's being ridiculous
she asked something and you corrected her but she is she is literally acting like she's being like
like like like like like brought up by charges by the SEC or something like that
it's so funny she is just leaves again it's It's like, maybe if you hadn't had that extra shot at Tequila before you came, you'd
maybe think about this a little bit more rationally, Shannon.
Oh, now you sound like them, because they're gonna find that.
Well, no, I'm saying, are you drunk?
Well, no, but that's the thing, though, for as much as Shannon's like, well, I need to
have my Tequila.
I need to have my Tequila, and then she has a Tequila, and now look what happens.
She's like a music, I need to have my tequila, I need to have my tequila and then she has a tequila and now look what happens. She's like a music.
I'm like a music.
Yeah, that's what I'm like.
So, Shannon, like, you know, so funny.
So she's having a fit and then the wedding begins
and she's like, oh, babbage, Ross.
I like to bring out the whole family.
Bronwyn, Shawnwyn, Bella, Curran, Rowan, Caden, Jacob,
Noah, Hazel.
I'm like, damn.
That's like calling class in the morning.
Those two, you know, a lot of work.
A lot of work.
So they're at the altar and bad bets.
Well, we're going to have some fun tonight, okay?
I'm thinking that some of you are a few cocktails in, right?
And the rest of you all need to get caught up, okay?
It's so awkward.
Everyone's just like,
eh, eh, eh. And she was like, yeah, even though her makeup is on point,
that bets a little tone deaf.
Yeah, just a little bit tone deaf.
So now they start talking. I'm probably like,
the last 20 years, the last 20 years, what do you have been amazing?
Through everything that I've been through, you've been right there with me.
As a result, I've brought you a statement necklace, he or she on, it's a new immunity
idol.
Yeah.
She's like, the fish hump is the sign of being a provider.
You know what?
I said, when I met Sean, I said, I don't want to work.
And most men would run, but he didn't.
So Sean, thank you for paying so many bills.
It's like, is this the most romantic speech
you could have come up with?
She's like, thanks for being loaded, Sean.
Now, stop making fun of his immunity necklaces.
So then Sean gives his speech, and he made a ring
with every gem that represents each of the kids gemstones
Which is super cute. He's like I hope it fits and she's like trying to shove it on her finger
It's like the size of like a a cauliflower. This is a lot of gemstones on there
It's like well we had to put on 64 gemstones,
one for each of the kids, so here you go.
So, the kids have an opportunity to, you know,
ask their own vows or whatever.
So Jacob goes first and he's like,
um, dad, do you vowed always of mom,
even when she embezzles all of your money
in a Apache attack helicopter at 12 a.m.
And mom do you vow even you'll still be with that even when he gets famous and bounces off with a 12 year old American model?
It was like literally announces the room. What's going on here?
What's going on here?
Bronwyn's like, you're cut off. Okay.
Anyone have anything nice to say?
And Bella's like, you guys, you keep your love so alive
and it's so inspiring that one day I too,
all right, just shut up.
Okay, we're done.
I'm on my own.
Okay, Bella, no, no, no.
Jacob, you want to try again?
I mean, it was bitchy, but it was at least fun.
Bella, make that one.
So, um, Bronwyn loves being able to commit to Sean and that she's fully present and she
means it and she's fully there for it.
And it's like, yay, Mr. and Mrs. Bronwyn Burke and it just sort of ends like the vow, just
sort of ends, like, okay, cool.
So, and now everyone's standing up,
unless there was something I missed.
Well, Bronwyn, Shannon goes over to the girls
and she's like, well, yeah, I just met that part
and not the opposite.
Oh yeah, the wedding ended, yeah.
So Shannon goes, she tells John,
I need to go talk to Gina right now.
Gina, you know how I have been working on my food line, right?
You remember that? It's been a plot-fied for two years.
And I've been working on a supplement for a year.
And she had Zach come up to me and say,
Oh, water! Are you kidding me, Kelly?
That gets your facts straight. Kelly, I've never
never do that. I'm doing a thing, she's.
I love that she was doing on this for so long that as soon as the ceremony was over, she had to go run over to Gina to the battle.
Can you believe it? Can you believe she said I was making a water? I'm doing a tincture. A tincture. A tincture. It's spelled with a T, and then it has an inch, and it ends with a UR.
It's like a totally different thing. It's totally different. I mean, I have to winch a wiper, winch aiper and it's raining huh and that game dry or how
My god so silly she's so ridiculous and then so Kelly sees him talking
She's like what's up girls and then sit there and just stare at Shannon like bring it water lady
Yeah
It's like a very very silly fight that I did not anticipate but looking forward to seeing how it resolves or doesn't resolve
Oh good songs everybody well
Thank you everybody so much for being here with us
We will be back tomorrow with some real housewives of salt like city
Right, yes, that's right and yep, and then we'll do Southern charm. We'll put that up on Saturday probably all right
Everybody thanks for being here. Love ya!
Bye!
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