Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Take Me As IMDb

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

When Heather Dubrow learns that her IMDb credits are not enough to woo the producers of Taylor's film (LOL already at this sentence), she flips the hell out.  Another hilarious episode of Real Housewives of Orange County (S17E04). Enjoy the podcast!Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/85287372See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi, how are you? I am great, thanks. We're gonna be recapping Real House

with the Orange County, but I still have my below deck background up. And you know what? I'm not gonna change it. I'm gonna be on sale boat. We're doing it from the boat. Do it from the boat. This is very exciting because this is our final episode of the week.

And then guess what, Ron and I are going on the K-shon. It's going to be great for our vacation all the next week. However, there will be a whole week of content. Okay. We are going to have recaps of the premiere of Dancing Queens as well as the finale of Dancing Queens next week. We are going to be releasing our recap of Real Housewives of New York that we recorded in Fox Woods. That's going to be next week.

That's the Tom Fulurey episode. That's, you know, because all the, there's a lot of media attention on the new Roni coming back. Huge articles in New York Times, giant profile of gen Alliance in there. So writing that wave with that also Miami is coming to Bravo real hustle Miami. So if you miss it on peacock, you're now going to be able to see it for the first time.

It is like a tremendous season. It actually won our Golden Crap Award for Best Show of the year as voted by the people. So we're releasing our recaps for that show if you missed it the first time around. And we also are releasing two dwell halos onto the feed. So if you have not been able to listen to dwell hello at 1D+.

You're going to be able to hear it next week. So we have a lot of content. And that is all going to be coming your way. Now, if you're wondering, but wait, there's like a new, is there like a new real house wise of Orange County next week? Like where's it, like are you guys recapping it? The answer is a big no, big no.

And it's not against the show, it's that we're on vacation. We're on vacation. And so if you tweet me and say, is there a recap of real house houses over Orange County this week? I'm not gonna answer. I'm alright. This is it. This is the answer right here. I'm telling you right now. I'll be vacation next week I will not answer that question Yeah Ben's gonna block my number next week They're probably on vacation next week now. I told myself I'm gonna go to Mexico by myself

I don't care. I'm gonna act like I'm running from the law. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. Cause I'm not a plan, nothing. I'm gonna be sitting here. I'm just gonna tell my family, leave me alone, and I'm just gonna stay here, stare at my walls. Okay, so what I'm gonna do, maybe play Zelda, maybe I'll download Zelda. What do you think about that?

I think it's great. I think next week I'm gonna play video games. I'm gonna play board games, I'm gonna play video games, I'm gonna cook food. I already was watching a video about making a quiche this morning and getting so excited. I'm like, I'm gonna make a quiche. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do all of the things. That's your tantric breathing video from below that guy. Alex is watching tantric breathing videos to like calm himself and you're watching a quiche videos. That's your version of tantric breathing. It is. I mean, that is really the best way to breathe is to breathe in Kish. And yeah, so I apologize in advance for people who are

going to apologize for change. It's appointed because they are like, where's my recap? But it will not be there. It will not be there. And there will not be a makeup recap for it. It will not, we're just going to resume. It's on that. It's like, man, I feel guilty because we should be in recovery. We makeup recap for it. It will not, we're just gonna resume. Don't make us feel guilty people because I am do vacation.

And I'm not happy with it. And I'm gonna say, no, we can talk about it, we can talk about what we missed. But I am drawing a line in the sand, everyone. It is vacation time and it's vacation time for all of us. But, but all of that's what we missed. But I am drawing a line in the sand everyone. It is vacation time and it's vacation time for all of us. But um, yeah, all of you too. Just not vacation from us. Keep listening to us. Okay, that's enough of that. That's enough about talking about vacation because this is not vacation. Guess what? It's the housewives vacation. It's very, very

hot vacation. This is about a show about people going on vacation that we're going to recap. Yes, and it's the real housewives of Orange County, and we're celebrating Tamara being back with her Hick Ranch son by going to a dude ranch, because it's not bad enough. They brought this mother-effer back onto my television. It's transphobic, homophobic, racist-ass on television. Now we get to celebrate the fact that he's a cowboy by visiting a dude ranch. So already said this in last week's episode, but fuck you show and fuck you Tamra and fuck your son, okay?

Get your fucking son off my TV and get his fucking lifestyle off my TV. I don't want to be reminded of other things. Okay, that hatred out of the way. Love the episode. What a fun episode. What a fun time. I know it was really good. It started to make me wonder like, oh, like I always thought like without Gina, the show really kind of, it kind of elevates. But now I'm like, well, maybe it's without Emily. Maybe it's without both of them. You know, Gina wasn't there for that flamingo party and that was hilarious. And then Emily, what hasn't been here for this trip and it's been hilarious.

So I think what we're sensing is we don't need either of them. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to come from a place of negativity. But I don't really care about them particularly. At this point, I figure they've got something on the producers because they're back every single year. I enjoy Emily. I think she's kind of funny. She doesn't really do much except like, stir the pot a little and make funny side comments. That's enough. Gina's not even bothering me that much yet. I think they're good in this small dose that we're getting of them where it's just like, you know,

yeah, I mean, what's Gina gonna do this this year? Like run away from a parking ticket, you know? I mean, that's Gina gonna do this year, like run away from a parking ticket, you know? I mean, that's like Gina's life. So, I think the magic has nothing to do with those two. I think it has to do with Tamara's annoying, but she's doing her job. Then you've got this new gen who is immediately controversial from having an affair that everybody's gonna make into a huge storyline. She seems like a mess. Also, Tamara immediately coming for her. I think she was good casting, dare I say. And Heather Dubro's like right in her sweet spot where she's really just relegated to be a supporting character.

Again, I think last year the trouble was trying to make Heather the lead of the show. She's not. So just having her kind of be on the side. And then having Shannon and I don't know, those four, I think, Shannon, Tamara, Jen and Heather, I think are a good mix for now. Yeah, and then the, the, the, sort of like the, the light freeze on of pacifaggression that Taylor Armstrong brings is nice. I think that Emily is, she, you know, Emily stores the pot and everything and Emily is likable, but I think that ultimately,

Emily and Gina really are friend of's that have for some reason received full cast member status and have stayed there for like five or six years. I just don't understand how they stay when you have like open wounds like Nuella or like a Claudia Jordan on Atlanta, how they are just like one season wonders But Emily and Gina are your year after year after year. I just don't understand it But you know what at least they're real. I feel like Nauela was a big faker

And she never said and she never did anything real and I think that was her main problem Emily and Gina are at least real and I think that where the producers are coming from with them are like, they're relatable. Now, none of us watch Real Housewives because we want to see relatable things. I think that's what the producers forgot. We don't need to see somebody who like, I love a taco. Like, I know that everyone cheers whenever she says taco or chicken sound or turkey sandwich in a spa. But I don't think we're here for relatable, but I think that's why they're here. because they're relatable among a bunch of wackos. Yeah, no, I think that's what it is also, but I think you're even more correct when you say that that's not what this show is supposed to

be about. It never was about that. And I feel like when Real Housewives tries to be relatable or tries to dip into like, you're just hanging out with a bunch of your girlfriends, like you're all playing Truth or Dare together. That's when the show kind of stumbles the most. I think for me, I am all about watching people who are very wealthy and are very deluded about their lives and the world around them. And how do they navigate? How do these people navigate in a real world? And, you know, Gina's a little too real world. I need her to be a little bit more, you know, I need her to be more like a wealthy, I guess. I don't know.

I mean, at the end of the Orange County credits to this very season, now we're 17 seasons in, they always show a gate closing. It's always like we are in a gated community, you're not allowed in, this is our world. Right, we need shots of Gina, just with her hands on the bars of the gate. Hey, but I love my keys in the end.

And I'm like, we're not falling for that again, ma'am. Okay, you're not in the gate. Gina and Emily are not in the gate, and that's a problem. Okay, anyway, they are in the booth of the gate Gina and Emily are not in the gate and that's that's a problem Okay, they are anyway booth of the gate You know what I mean? They're in their car talking to the guard saying like no, I know someone in there Can you just can you just try again? Can you just buzz them one more time? But I have a pizza to like no ma'am. I have the keys. I rented an Airbnb

I'm they said I could just tell you guys that I'm allowed in I Think it's so funny when we start analyzing the dumbest show on television. Like this one isn't even, this is Orange County, okay? Why can't I even believe Orange County is still on? I thought Orange County would have been canceled a couple of seasons ago, if not last season at least, you know. But it's back and it's been good.

Like I've actually really been enjoying it. So let's just get into it because we're analyzing possibly the dumbest. Like I've actually really been enjoying it. So let's just get into it because we're analyzing possibly the dumbest thing that I've ever watched and enjoyed. Well, there'll be plenty more of this for many more years to come. So the episode opens up with Emily driving her kid Annabelle and to a modeling gig. And she's like, just remember, be respectful. If they ask questions, you answer. And she's like, what in hell, what did they say? Like, when you walk in and Annabelle's like,

how are you? My name is Mr. Banks. And she's like, how about you just say your name is Annabelle. Annabelle. Okay, your kid's annoying. That does not mean that she should be a model. Okay. Second thing, I have to give Emily credit

because she's got the self-confidence. Like, it's solid like a rock this woman. Okay. You purposely give a child Shane's face and then drive to a modeling agency. I mean, that is Hustba. That is Hustba. Just kidding, guys.

Annabelle's actually really cute. But doesn't she have Shane's face? I don't think she's actually. I don't think she looks just like Shane. She looks like a young, kind of cute, not bald version of Shane, but I can just see Shane, okay? I know it's not nice to distilled,

and I'm not distinger. I think she actually is a very cute child. I hope she gets a shampoo conditioner. Maybe a leave-in conditioner might I suggest. Otherwise, shame face. Okay. I literally don't see that, but I also, you know what though? I don't, I don't think I've looked at Annabelle's face

long enough, I'm sorry to say. So, Emily is- I didn't need to look at it long. I looked at it once and I said, DORK! You're in twer torque is what you are. You're in torque. So Emily is taking Annabelle to the modeling agency

because she said that Annabelle came out the wound. She came out of a wound also, I'm sure. With a big personality and just wanted a model and this is what she's wanted to do for years and years. And now, Emily, she feels like Annabelle is at the age where, you know, she can take modeling seriously as evidenced by the fact that she wants to introduce herself as Mr. Banks. Yeah. So she's going to be a model. And the modeling agent, there's like good cop and

bad cop. They have Jake, good cop, good gay cop. And then they have Jackie, evil bad cop with an accent. Okay, they're like, can we get a Russian in here to give the bad news to the people? Like, you know, we're back to like the 80s where everybody's feeling is like a Russian. So she's not really Russian, but she has some kind of accent I can't figure out. I detected like maybe an Australian accent

or maybe a South African. I couldn't tell, but there was enough of an accent there to be like, well, I represent models, so no one have to have an accent. So, Jackie's like. So they're good cop and bad cop. So, Jake's like, hi, I'm Jake. I'm Jackie, sit down, stupid, shame, face. You'll sit down right here.

And so, they do. And he's like, oh my God, how's your day going? And Emily says, we just spent a lot of time in the car. And they explain to Emily that she's kind of the one auditioning because basically children being a model means they have to have a parent who's a cab driver, right? And so she's like, well, I have time. I'm a stay at home mom now.

And Jake just looks at her like, poor thing, your housewife. Poor thing. And then of course, Emily makes this about her childhood because she's like, being around my kids, I've been so invested in my own life. It brings up a lot of memories of my own childhood. Like, you know, when you're growing up, you don't know. Your mom should like be waking up with your own breakfast with you. and I just didn't know that, because no one did that for me, and that's just weird, it's like no one did that. Like, you know, I'm sorry,

this was like three seasons ago for you. I, like, I get it, I feel bad for you, but I already felt this emotion, and I'm not willing to do that. I mean, fresh trauma, you know what I mean? And listen, I tell myself the same shit all the time. I've worked through so much trauma on this year podcast over the years I mean if you listen to the early years, please don't by the way

fuel some early years I work through a lot of stuff. I've gone through a lot of addictions I've worked through a lot of stuff and I've gained new traumas since I've picked up new traumas along the way And let me just tell you don't marinate in your old traumas get new traumas, okay? I'm not saying to suddenly be happy, okay, you're allowed to have trauma. Get new ones, Emily, it's been forever. If not for yourself, then for the audience, okay?

I don't wanna hear it. And that's one of my mom's traumas too, is like being a keystone kid, I think is what they're called. No, latchkey. But that's like a keystone cop. When she was being forced to like solve mysteries as a child, that was traumatic for my mother. But being a latchkey kid where she had to come home

and she had to cook. And you know, it's because your parents were working to give you a decent life, get a new trauma. You know what I mean? That one's not gonna cut it from me. Also, you can't say the same. Trauma is like fashion. You need to always be new every season, okay?

Yeah, I mean fresh trauma. You need to be refreshed. Your trauma is flash frozen, and it can only be whipped out of the refrigerator again so many times before it kills you. Like fish. It's like bringing fish home from dinner. Well, I hope just te up five times. Okay.

You have one time being it up. I hope your mom has gotten over the trauma of being a keystone cop at one time in her life. She saw a lot of mysteries between the ages of five and eleven. I have to hand it to her. There's a lot of bumbling. She kept them pass so safe. She fell down in the lost air cases and bumped into a lot of people. There's not what the keystone cops did. didn't they just run into each other? Pretty much. Anyway, trauma, what a delight. So there's a photo shoot.

And so, of course, Jake is now like, okay, good cop stepping in, gonna give lots of gay affirmations. So he's like, okay, you have great hair, adabal, you have great hair. Ah, out about your hair. You have great hair. Okay, let's do like a serious fashion look out about. Yes, out about. Yes, that was amazing. You are too cute out about.

I'm so excited. I'm just like, let's do a serious fashion. Your mom just told you to clean your room, do it. And she's like, I'm not gonna do it, mom. And then Jack is like, oh look at you, you look so happy. We'll be in touch, ugly. Go out the door, Mark's ugly, go. Go.

May I make referral to Penny's Save for Magazine Model section, that's for you. So now we go to the beat barn where Tamara is walking in with a fedora. She's like, hey, batches, I know you sell capo hats, but I'm coming in with a fedora to show you what the real hat around this part. Also it's funny, it's like in college we throw a call throwing up, booting, you know, and like boot was like to throw up. So the fact they go to beat barn,

I just feel like it's appropriate for Tamra. Yeah. So Jen comes and Gina comes and Jen's like, wow, it's really hot as hell outside. And Gina's like, that's where you're gonna burn for eternity, you cheat on. Tamra's like, you're not even in that scene, Gina, out of the scene, you're not the cause shit.

Gina just goes back with her hands behind the bars. Timra, yes, agenda's like, wow, so I was telling Ryan, I'm going to a dude ranch. And he was like, why are you going to ranch with a bunch of dudes? Yeah, over the back of that, but kind of above that, because we're going to learn to ride, we're going to rope, we're going to ride, we're gonna rot, we're gonna ride, we're gonna cook up for a fire. She's like, yeah, all the type of shit that girls don't wanna do, I wanna get done and dirty. So then Heather walks in with like a bottle of champagne

for the boot barn, and she's wearing like a white jumpsuit that has sort of rhinestones, and it looks sort of quasi-elvacy, you know. She's coming to the Western shop and her Western wear. She's coming on theme to the Western wear shop. Yeah, she's definitely like doing a lot of like Will Rogers Follies in this episode. She's like, oh, Western comes from.

You can do this. I can do this. You can do this. I can do this. And he can hang himself up power. He can touch up in this guy. I give man enough rope. I was in the Will Rogers folly slick.

Oh yeah, could you do the sloppy thing? No, that was all the show girls. I wasn't Will Rogers. I was not even, I really wanted to be an understudy for one of the male dancer, dude guys, the dance on the steps. And every day I would go up there and practice at the dinner theater, the tap dance, every day. And I was like, I'm practicing, I'm getting so good. They see me up here burning the midnight oil and they're gonna Let me do it. And then the director who was Richard Simmons standing, Norb, that was Simmons, was it?

No, his standing, his standing was the director. He was a musical theater director, but he was also Richard Simmons stand in because Richard Simmons turns out, spoiler alert, doesn't even do most of his own exercising, which is why he remained chubby, most of his career. He would get these big conventions together of big people and be like, let's do some sweat into the sweat times or whatever he used to do. And then people would dance and then he would run behind the screen and you would see just the shadow of him doing all the dancing.

And that was actually this director, Norb. So anyway, that was his claim to like, shame fame. I guess shame fame. And then he didn't cast me even as an understeady after I learned all the dance. I was so upset. That's when I learned it doesn't matter how hard you try,

so stop making efforts. And I would just like to say, I will not keep your secret anymore. Norb Jörder, Stanton for Richard Simmons, you fucking liar, and also Richard Simmons, wherever you are, you're a fucking liar too.

There, now everybody knows. Wow, so much has been revealed. That's, that was great. I've just Jackie bad copped your asses right on this recap and enjoy it and enjoy your week off And the best part is Richard Simmons is now like in seclusion. So you know, she should be he fucking should be It's probably not even him in seclusion. It's probably norbs sitting in his living room. So nobody thinks it rich or simmises. It's in seclusion. Yeah, that's exactly right.

Yeah, fucks. That's what you get for fucking with 19 year old. Ronnie Caram, I'll ruin your life 28 years later. Yeah, you bet. That just goes to show. If you see a young man tap dancing on the top of a staircase late at night, you give him that roll. Give him that roll.

Give him that under his fat. He's got all the dirt. He's got all the dirt. You give them that role. Give them that role. Give him that understanding. It's got all the dirt. I'll bring you down. You're next Sally Kalerman. You're just getting actually like that. You never know when someone will get a platform. Okay. And then tap dance on it. You're next Robert Goulet. I was about to say stories about you, bitch. What about what's her face? All right, what's the Carrie Fisher's mom? Oh, Debbie, she was lovely. Yeah, she was lovely. I have nothing bad to say about her.

Commissars, here comes one right now. Yeah, that's good. Well, Heather walks in dressed like Will Rogers fall is and happy birthday Happy birthday to Tamara. I was a Tamer's birthday. I think it's Tamer's birthday And so she's just celebrating someone's birthday so Tamer is like oh wow Heather is like very white for Montana We are going to live on the earth Batch and Heather's very white for everywhere Heather could be in Utah and she'd be too white, okay?

Yeah. And then we go to another, another, a poor, a poor version of this cowboy store. We go to a vintage thrift cowboy store with Gina, the poor person at the poor version. This was some funny shit. I like that they did. They were like, let's shut the lady shopping

in two different scenes. The rich ones and the poor one. Yeah, I mean, it was literally like the bootporn was fancy. And then, the lander's supply house. You could just see someone with like a broom sweeping up dust bunnies and like red and blue and yellow tags dangling from things, you know, just like old and dusty and gross. Yeah.

So it was perfect for Gina. I mean, just browsing for shirts and Emily joins and Shannon joins. And she's like, oh wow, this is a funky place here. Wow, I like this. I'm in the market for some chaps, because wacky Shannon's going out of vacation soon. Ha!

Um, and we see a clip. Like, Shannon's looking for chaps, and so we get a clip of Shannon talking about Asa's chaps with Tamara. And she's like, you know what? I'm gonna get some Asakosh-be-Gosh! Ha! What the! Ha!

I'm gonna do it! And they actually have some for her to try on. Yes. And then Jean is like, I am the most excited to dress like a cowgirl, but I do not consider myself a nature girl, and I hope that no one ever considers me a nature girl, because you... Why does she open her eyes so wide this season?

She's like playing a completely different character. It's really weird. It is weird. And I'm not I don't think anyone's going to confuse Gina for a nature girl. And not anytime soon. Unless nature as far as like living out of your car. If that's nature, you know, like you have to pee on the side of the road

a lot, probably on family vacations. That's nature. I mean, she definitely has, I'm sure, has like camped out in a tent in front of like a TJ Maxx before opening. She is definitely done some Black Friday camping. You know, she's like going to get that, turn those frowns upside down Walmart sales on Black Friday. Michael's, she's just setting up a little cooking roasting making s'mores and the Michaels parking lot waiting for it to open. Yeah So I had there's like, oh she's trying on like a cowboy hatch. Oh my I you know what? I have very big ears. I have to call it Terry and Jen is like is all really is it hard being Married to a plastic surgeon, you know because you could sort of get anything you want anytime and Heather's like, is it really? Is it hard being married to a plastic surgeon?

Cause you can sort of get anything you want anytime and Heather's like, oh no, he's blind. He thinks I'm perfect. At least that's what I tell him to tell me. Girl, maybe you shouldn't be telling the whole world that your husband who does very careful surgeries on people that he's blind. It's like, I think there are enough Yelp reviews. I don't even know how Terry's Yelp reviews are actually.

I'm just assuming there's a lot of terrible ones because I feel like a lot of times people come out of plastic surgery and they still don't look hot and then they blame the surgeon, you know? But I haven't read his Yelp reviews but this was not the strongest endorsement. Just say that. So Terry, what, he can't even walk his blinds.

God shake your hand, Terry. Whoa, all shake your hands. So then Emily sits down on a chair the wrong way, which I found very funny, because it's one of those stupid stools that has like, it's like a stool that pretends that it's actually a seat, but it's like literally nowhere even close to being a seat, because it's one of those stupid stools that has like, it's like a stool that pretends that it's actually a seat, but it's like literally nowhere even close to being a seat, because it's just, it's a stool, but it has like a little, a little ridge at the

back. As if like, here, this, this is the same thing as back support, a one inch railing for your butt. Like, that does nothing. It's like one of those saddle stools. I couldn't tell what it was. It was just like, you know, one of those stools that sort of comes up, like it just comes up a little bit,

you know, and she sat on the part that came up and I was laughing because, A, I would do that. But B, I was laughing at the nature of those stools. Like, what is the point of those? Like, give me a full back if you can do it. If you don't give me one inch of a back, give me a full, you know, two foot back.

I think probably whoever invented those tools has seen me sit on a stool with my butt cracking out and was like, you know what, we need, I don't wanna pay for an entire back but we need enough coverage to cover guys like that, butt cracks. That's a butt crack. From coming out.

No one else in here can eat their fucking hamburgers. You know what I mean? Yeah, I will take I'll take the fall for that. I'll take the fall for that one. So Shannon's like They're talking about a tamara, right? Like what were you and tamara hugging the other day? That was not so it's really crazy to see and Shannon's like well She did apologize for what happened on the boat, the boat, and you know, at Cut Fitness, she said, oh yeah, and also I'm sorry for the present. She wrapped it all up in a bowl, and she just don't get to say sorry for one thing, and then wrap it all up in a bowl.

I need separate sorry. Okay. I want to organize my sorry's in different bowls. This one has this little type of ware as a sorry where you screwed me over while I was trying to make up what David and I'm not watching other bowl Why you tried to have me committed to a mental institution with miss had there to bro Trying to throw these into dinner party It's beautiful bows. Yeah, you know, you can't just like you can't just apologize

Just do a quick apology and then just move forward and then I wish they would have cut to Just do a quick apology and then just move forward and then I wish they would have cut to Two weeks ago Jen being like you were talking over my story of a doctor. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry That was three sorry's for one thing you see what I mean So she is kind of living up to what she's saying. She's giving multiple apologies. Whereas Tamra's like, Here's your one apology for literally being a monster for how long have they known each other now? Ten years or something because Tamra's been monstrous to Shannon. Okay. Yeah. She has the worst thing you can say about Shannon is that she called Tamra crying too much. That's it. I mean, that's not great. Nobody loves that.

But Tam Tamara could have just hung up or said I'm busy or you're draining the life out of me. Tamara's done way neater stuff. Tamara was wretched to Shannon in Shannon's first season. And it was always so strange to me that Shannon then embraced her as a friend in the next season. And then for seasons going forward, there were always friends and it felt like there were friends because they had been friends. And then for seasons going forward, there were always friends and it felt like there were friends because they had been friends. And I always am like, you do realize

that Tamer was terrible to you. And has been now terrible to you again. And you're just gonna go back to it. But, you know, I guess that's the nature of someone like Shannon Bedore. And Shannon does that thing where she's, she's like, well, I, this time, I am gonna stand up for myself

because I have changed. This is not the same Shannon Bedore that would be a Dormat. And then by the end of the episode, she's just laying down and writing welcome on her chest you know with her sharpie. I'm like, alright, just walk all over, God it's good to have you back, Tamara. This is gang. Here lay Shannon Bedore. Now a Dormatant Shannon Bedore man

Walk all over welcome this time Shannon Bedore is lying on her own terms So Shannon then turns and says oh so by the way you at the end of the night said so Tamara How did it feel knowing that that an affair started hearing your gym? ah and so you know it's like you know what honestly and a fair started hearing your gym. And so, Gina's like, you know what? Honestly, Shannon, that's what's been bothering me and this isn't like Jen's fault. I'm just saying that even though I, personally, I do believe it is her fault,

but I understand that, but it's like hard to be like a rounded justify the infidelity. And like, I honestly, I have a little bit of a trigger when it comes to that, you know? She's like, oh yeah, I guess it's a big trigger for me too. I just want to add my trauma onto yours there for a moment because I did I did find David walking on the beach with a slut one time. Don't forget that.

And it is triggering for Shannon as well because she her Miss David's mistress does look kind of like Jen. I mean, she has the same template face from the Groupon doctor that they all go to. And, you know, she does to have that real orange count, real housewives of Orange County template walking on the beach. And so I think Shannon should be more, not that you get, not that it's a war of like who gets to be more triggered. But today I'm just coming out. I'm very team Shannon today. So even though she's not fighting with anybody right now, I'm still on her team and I want Gina to shut up.

So also I think that's like your husband's thing and you forgave your husband. You know what I mean? You forgave your husband and you're fine with your husband and I don't think it's fair to use someone else's shit against them even though they're a cheater. I mean I'm not saying you have to approve of it and be like, oh my God, I love that you cheered it on your husband but it's not really up to you to be addicted to them about it. You know, they'll suffer their own thing. It's up to me to be addicted about it.

Leave it to me. Yeah, and Gina's talking about how she's in the process of helping Matt get his felony charges drops to help the family and hearing Jen casually talk about this thing that she did that has horrible effects and so many people is really a hard pill to swallow. Well, I get that because affairs can be really devastating

for people to go through. But Matt's felony thing, that's Matt. That's like Jen definitely did not do the things that Matt did and this is- I didn't like that she tied those two things together either because she's like, yeah, I'm traumatized because here I am trying to help my husband get past his felonies and then over here we've got this cheater and I'm like, yeah, but

he was physically abusive and that man to you deserves to you and that man deserves his felonies. You're showing more grace to this guy. Right. And I get because that's the father of her children and you know, I don't want to get too, too, too about it. But I'm like, don't tie the male abusing a female thing in with a woman cheating on her husband. I don't know, I didn't like that tie-in. I think she's reaching. I think I totally get that she's triggered.

Like I think that's fair for her to be triggered. And you know what, listen, I can't complain about you to being boring and then getting mad when she's like, you know, trying to start up a story here. But it's not her story. But I think it's kind of like her being mad about something she's not involved in at all. Yeah, that's the thing. It just feels like she could do better. She could do better in terms of things to be upset about. Yeah. And I don't know of finding something interesting about a personality so Yeah, I'm clear. It's not a personality. You know what I mean

Well, I could try to you. She could be talking about a carabella So Heather me go back to Heather and she goes so Jen you and Ryan have been together for how long now and Jen is like two and a half years. Oh So that is like two and a half years. Oh, so that is like, okay, so that's like basically one-twelfth of my acting career. Got it. Two and a half years. Perfect. Wonderful. Great for you. And you were separated or were you divorced from your husband? How long before you met Ryan? I know the answer to this because Tamer has already told me that you're a slut. So just go ahead and confess again,

because we're gonna make you do that every time we hang out. And Jen's like, actually, I was not divorced from my husband. I was still trying to work through whatever the hell was going on with him. Me asking him to go out, him hiding me like I was the hunchback of Notre Dame. Trauma's like that.

Now did I have a physical relationship? Well, I was married. No. But was I still emotionally five miles down the road while actually being hundreds of miles down the road because I had him get a job in Oklahoma for my family so I could fun in the steam room? Yes. You know, it's just that Ryan and I are so connected.

We go places, we see concerts. I'm like, oh my god, this poor lady is just so excited to go out to a restaurant that she's left her husband. You know what I mean? This is what happens when you don't take anybody anywhere. They're like, they took me to the state fair. It's like that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard dump him, you know, but she's never been anywhere.

She's like, you know, we are so connected. I mean, the first time he invited me to go to a pop-up roach concert, I was like, oh, my soul mate. So then Tamra's like, you know they go to Dave Matthews though. You know you would run into them because you're a Dave Matthews. Listen, I know. You're a DM head. I am a Dave Matthews fan.

People don't know this. I've got to 22 concerts of Dave Matthews. But also, like, what's interesting though 22 concerts of Dave Matthews. But you're also like, but what's interesting though is that the Dave Matthews often plays an Irvine, which is in Orange County, and the Irvine Dave Matthews crowd has a certain look to it. And that is Jen and Ryan, you're 100% correct. That's right. That's even there.

I feel like there. And then we'd probably like bond while listening to like crash into me and I'd be like, fuck you, Ronnie forever saying something mean about these two wonderful people who understand me. So, Tamara's like um yeah, so you got to say that you're the sub-edit, does he talk about that? And Jen's like yes, but Tamara look, Tamara knows the problem because he does have a pass to and I'm like oh no I'm not like why did he kill someone what's the past What do you do pass who is he killed so Jen's like no he didn't kill someone is he a cheater? Is he a cheater and Jen is like yes?

Yes, he is and he will tell you I've never been faithful to anyone. He'll tell you I'm like, what's do you get brownie points for being on the fucking idiot? Oh my god and Tamragus Yeah, I just a matter right? He's got the point. He's got the cup of baron test I mean, I feel like he's like a Roth IRA, right? Like he's you pay your taxes up front or whatever, you know, but it's still still paying taxes. Terrible analogy. I'm gonna move on. But you're so gonna pay your taxes later. You said my point is, what's the point of saving? If I don't have to pay my taxes now, but I'm gonna have to pay them later when they're gonna be 80%. It's still paying taxes. You're paying your regular IRA or Roth IRA, okay? Tax are happening now or later. But so him being up front about the cheating, it just means you find out about the cheating now, but the cheating is still gonna happen

So basically you know, okay, here's what cracks me up about Orange County now I'm just I've never lived there, but I've been there a lot because of catering okay? That's why everybody I've worked a lot of parties in Orange County And we know friends in Orange County and stuff like that Let me just tell you the culture in Orange County is open marriages and everybody fucking each other. Everybody's been married a million times. There's literally nobody who doesn't cheat on each other in Orange County that I've met.

I've never met somebody in, that's a big one because you guys on this show know people that I've met. There's no one that I've met that I believe has not cheated in Orange County on their spouse or had multiple three sums or done all this stuff, which is totally fine, because I'm a gay. I believe in that kind of lifestyle. Not that all gay is believing that, but I am one of the gay's who do. So my point is, for anybody to be clutching their pearls about this in Orange County cracks me up because you know that's how you guys live Stop pretending that you guys don't go vote on city councils with your threples. I don't believe it

By the way, it's also really good. We have to have as many crazy hot takes this episode because then we'll have a Solid week where we can't respond to people get on the set people good, right? I'm on one today. I don't even know what I'm talking about. This is not even a bad hot period. This is not, if someone's offended by that hot take, they have to really just like chill out. Sorry, that like, like Maria from Tustin is like,

I'm in a very monogamous relationship. Sorry. Well, your husband's not. I can tell you that one of, one of you is cheating and that comes from experience. You better go track down You better track down Robert because that lunch and Dana point. That's what he's fucking someone The valley is there don't even have a wall of keys. They have a bowl. You drop your keys into the bowl

So yeah, Jen's doing I'm sorry. Would you say honey? I said it's a horrible place to live. Yeah, sounds good to me. So Heather's like okay, so he's a cheater that's his thing and she's like yeah, and he's never been faithful and Heather goes but has he been faithful to you? And then we get a Which is I like the variation of the just T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T- is what you're saying. You think that he's been faithful to you. She's like, yes. So Tamra is like, Ryan has quite a reputation, but because by the way, this is clearly why Tamra was like, bring Jen on, bring Jen on. She's great. And she probably recruits Jen on just so she can blow up Ryan's

reputation here, right? And then Jen tells us like, quite a reputation. There was a spot, there was a spot that we kind of said, like, well, he kind of said, like, we need to take some time here, meaning that they had like, by the way, they're not telling us, they're talking to each other. Meaning that there was a moment where they took a break in their relationship for like, I don't know, five days

or something, and during that time, Ryan went out and fuck someone. Specifically. Like Wilson Rachel, on a break, you Waston Rachel, on a break. You were like Waston Rachel on a break. And then while you were on the break, he might have had a little dalliance somewhere and then Lisa could throw dated a food inspector

to get central perk back on track and save Gunther. Is that what you're saying? Heather DeBros only, a few of references are TV shows that were airing while that's life was on the air. So you have to take a break like Frazier and Lilith. Am I right? I once was close enough in a golf cart passing from the friend set to my set where I saw Courtney Cox nibble on a triangle of a turkey sandwich and then put it back down. So huge, huge moment for everybody. That's just how long an extensive my acting career has been, which I'm sure will not come

into question by the end of this episode. So Tamra of course is like, someone I know. Because she's, you know, of course, saying that like, that Ryan slept with someone that she knows, which means that she is, again, Tamara is playing the long game we talked about this last week. Tamara sort of like puts in, she layers in the stuff, and then she's gonna like come really hard at Gen very soon.

Right. And she's like, yeah, this guy, that's not my type of stuff, I got the guy that he gets to say bad. I was like, Oh, no, it wasn't a stranger. It's like the way she says that is so like, and he's she's already been used. He's like, he's slept with their one thought ready. That's like, what's your, why are you being mean about that? You know, isn't it less horish if you just go back to the old neighborhood? Yeah, so I have to then tell it says well

He told you he's a cheater and people tell you who they are so you got to listen a wise woman once said that and that wise woman With me actually I decided it was me. I've invented that phrase. It'll be yeah, okay my a claw handle like My angel it was a huge fan of that's life. She actually really, really rallied for it to get a second season and they unfortunately did not listen to her. Reba Angelou once said, people tell you they are honey, you got to listen. She only said it with half of her mouth, but she still said it. And I'll

never forget it It was it was a piece of wisdom that I came up with on my One one episode TV shows a pilot really called thoughts in Cleveland. It was trying to be more of a thinking version So cameras like I got people can change but if you't change, that's what you're not gonna change, but you're right, take your time. Just have sex if it works out good, right? Let's not go work out. It's not gonna work out, it's not gonna work out.

I'm not gonna let it. So now, we now go over to Ryan's house. And by the way, there's so many Ryan's in this universe. Okay, this is like, Ryan is the Joe in New Jersey for aren't you like Ryan is the new Jersey Joe for aren't you? Ryan is like the plastic blonde weave of names in this town for men. So so Jen is like, oh my gosh. Why do you look like that Ryan? I'm sorry. Why do you do it like that? Oh Ryan. He's like, what? Oh, I'm sorry. Why do you do it like that? Oh, Ryan. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Do you like that Ryan? Spen's favorite. Ben loves these scenes where they try and make it sound like they're having sex. And then it turns out they're doing something silly. Spen's kind of favorite kind of scene. Because they are literally never having sex. We know they're not having sex.

Because it's a TV show. So we know we're not going to like bust in on them just like doing it. Thank God. Godfather. Yeah, no one needs to see Jen and Ryan banging. By the way, I just saw something and I'm sorry to do this everybody. Sorry to the gentleman involved in this next statement. Sorry, really to everybody in life that I've ever met, especially Robert Coulet and norb Gerder, who I just totally threw under the best early in the set and even Richard Simmons, I'm sorry to you too, no? But once you see this, you're not gonna see it.

Ryan has Paul Massive's face there, I said it. Now go back, look closely, and then tell me, yeah, Paul, he looks just like Ryan Massive to me. Like in shape, slightly younger, Paul Massive. I'm gonna need to see a side by side. I don't, okay, now I gotta look at Paul Massive. But can't I see it? It's not gross or anything, it's just,

I just wanna hear Adrian being like, you fuck, maybe a pull out? I don't know, maybe? I don't know, that's, I, I have a hard time with that, I don't know. But you know what's crazy is that I just clicked on on Dr. Nassif's Instagram and he has a picture of the sun and his son looks just like him.

Which is because his son look like Ryan? A little bit like Ryan. So I guess there's something truth in what you're saying. I think you need to see the bigger picture. You need to like, oh my God, Paul Nassif's Instagram, Jesus Christ is just a chin. And dangling waddles, whoa, can I just say, he does a really good job with a dangling waddle.

Okay, gotta go. I have a bad experience starting now. See ya. I have a very, I actually have a very big hot take about one person on Bravo looking like another person on Bravo. That's on Dancing Queens. And I was gonna save it for Dancing Queens. But maybe should I just say it here since we're talking about it now. Well, I would hate for you to stay here and then say it on Dancing Queens because we don't ever repeat ourselves. So go ahead. My hot take is that I feel like Sabrina on Dancing Queens looks like Reza. What? Okay, now I've been going crazy with this Paul Massif one,

but that's literally bonkers. Are you still on Paul Massif's Instagram, by the way? No, no, I'm not. You want me to go back to it? I think he's giving a little girl a boob job. I'm not sure, but there is a very little girl. Maybe four years old, get away from Dr. Nassif. Nothing, she's gonna come out of there with gigantic lips like this big.

Get out of that office, ma'am. I am trying to look up Ryan, the new Ryan, but the problem is, it's, when you type in Ryan in real houses of Orange County, you get like 45 different people and I don't know how to look him up. Jennifer Patronty. Is that her name? Jennifer Patronty.

My last name is Patronty, but never her name? Jennifer? My name last name is Patronty. I've never expected that. Meaning there. Okay. I will keep in my out for the Sabrina thing because I'm dying to see. And I'm very open to Ryan Paul. I just I need to be visual. You're totally close to it. I'm close enough. You said no. You call me

stupid. Ben just sent me a text that said shut the fuck up. You fucking no, you call me stupid. Ben just sent me a taxi said shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot. I'm gonna have to talk to you for a week. Let me give you a real look alike. Sabrina and Reza. No, I'm open. I'm open. You're like every marriage in the Orange County. Yeah, I like Maria and Maria and Robert's relationship in Tustin. That's funny. Okay, so let's go over to their big sex scene and they're talking about like, oh my God, their relationship's so strong and she's going on the girl trip and she's like, but you

know, there's a stigma because you know, like we cheated and now everybody's judging us and I just want to make sure, you know, we don't talk about this, but you know I want to make sure like even though you cheated on everybody you're not gonna cheat on me because I don't want to be the product of another failed relationship You know, I'm like well then maybe don't cheat And also maybe don't be with the cheater Don't do the guy who literally said I'm a cheater. He's already He's already put in a formal request for his get out of jail free cards. That way when he chees goes, but I'm a cheater. That's true.

And we know it from multiple fuck boys on Bravo. And in our real lives, we've learned what this means. When a man is completely honest with you like this, and I'm like, I've cheated on everybody in my life and you know what, I wanna be different. It's so that when they cheat on you, they can say, you knew who I was. I told you, I re-bathjolude you and you still dated me. Yeah. When a guy says

I'm a cheater, I own it, I'm a cheater. That's his way of then being able to, that's his way of starting the formal process of being able to tell you later on or being able to tell himself, it's okay that I cheated because I was honest with her. And if you know, and honestly it's important. People get very moralistic when they're doing very immoral things like cheating, they'll like pull up other moral things that they're doing. Right. Well, I can't lie to you. Really?

You cheated. That's worth some lying. They also do that. I'm an honest person. Okay, I'm an honest cheater. They also do the love island thing, which is that they say, well, it was a test. I needed to see how much I really liked you by sleeping with someone else to know, like that way I could see that it didn't really mean anything, which meant that what I feel with you is actually more real.

So that's all I was basically I was basically, I was just a test. Come on. Good Lord. You know it's a good test, three-sum. That's the Orange County way. Just audition people together. You know what I mean? And that's why I think it's so hard

to have a like a throttle relationship and not just to three-sum. Because there's always one person that can be better in a throttle. Whereas I think if you're a couple and then you're having sex with one other person, it's kind of like a constant open call where you're reminding each other. I'm with you because I choose to, but I could also go with this chorus boy.

Who's promising? Frankly, or you could go with this chorus boy who's promising. Maybe we should just keep being nice to each other. Yeah, it's called a drama triangle, not a drama duo. So yeah, I would say that's yeah. And so we solved a lot here today. We, you know what, I think we have solved a lot. So I think we're kind of, our show may actually just be done.

We may not be able to do more of those. We're basically done guys. Puzzle box solved. So Ryan goes, he's like, yeah, I don't want, I don't want to be in another failed relationship either, but guess what? We're two years in. This isn't new.

It only gets better. I'm like, you're two years in to a relationship that started in the pandemic when people were mainly staying indoors, except maybe in Orange County, where they were like, COVID's over on like April 2020. But also two, two years is near. Two years is near. Two years is no. With a cheater, two years is like, yeah, you need to be able to last longer than a Carly's.

And yeah, but then you like, no, yeah, exactly. I think the Carly's is a good role. I'm sorry to interrupt you with the, but I just thought in some of the 10 times. Um, he's saying we're, we're two years in and it's not new. It only gets better, but she just told us in the last scene in not two years, you've already taken a break and she did on her. So no, you haven't had two years. You fucking liar. So then they go fuck. So I mean, listen, if you're into like a worked out Paul Nassif, you do you, okay? She goes, I feel like my relationship with Ryan checks all the boxes.

I'm so emotionally connected to this man. So for the whole world to think I left my marriage to like fucking every backseat in every corner, you couldn't be more wrong. I fucked in specific backseat since specific corners. Yeah, just, I think this is a case where you just need to marge it up. This is like, you need the Marge Joseph spin doctors

to come in here. I cheated, I don't regret it. It was great. I loved it. Fuck the plumber. Best thing I ever did. Every dog has his day, every dog has his way. Mom, it's my birthday.

Would you say sorry to us doing Jen singing Dave Matthews? With wrong lyrics, I'd like to to add which is kind of my thing I'm glad to explain that because I was just smiling like I'm gonna look so stupid if I don't just go along with this I don't know what he's talking about So right is we should go to Vegas and alope. She's like huh, so now we go to Heather packing she's packing with her stylist Nicholas and We should go to Vegas and alope. She's like, huh? So now we go to Heather packing. She's packing with her stylist, Nicholas. And she's like, so do I need shit kickers for this?

And he's like, what are shit kickers? They're like, are you mean like old boots? Yeah, you know, like shit kickers or like turd, bonglers or, I don't know, buffalo, wedgie, employers. I don't know, what, Wedgie, employers, I don't know, what do you call these things? Poot Punchers, we have some Poot Punchers over here. He's like, please stop talking like that.

It's disgusting. You're about to end up like that. Also, every time they close up on Heather's house, they show a different angle. I just wrote hideous, hideous house, and then it's Heather's. Is this just the building for her bedroom? Because it's a different building than I'm used to seeing. Yeah, it might just be, yeah,

a different building on the estate. But I think hideous. Speaking of houses, did you see that joe gorgah of finished the new facade on his terror home? I did. It does look better. It looks a lot better. But they had to take off the entire roof.

To do it. They literally had to read you. They had the Colin contractors who knew what they were doing. Because at first I thought, oh, they read this home and it already had these fucked up roof lines and that's why all of the triangles of the roofs were different shapes.

I was like, surely they didn't do that. But then they were showing pictures of Melissa dancing around on the property while it was being built. No, Joe Gorky did those roofs that way. He was the one he did. He's terrible. So they actually had to hire a real construction crew

to come in and rebue the whole thing. And it looks a lot better. They actually hired Terry to grow. They're like, this is the first time we've ever had a house on botched. So, So Heather, it's got great mokers. I'll tell you that.

It's got two really big mokers. Yeah, so Heather, the front stoop is now just a chin. So Heather is like, oh, well, I don't have old boots. I don't have these shit kickers or puddle puddle punchers or whatever you want to cause them. But you know, when you go fly fishing, don't you need rubber boots? So she comes out of her like one wing of her closet with like rubber Chanel boots like, Heather, you can't wear those, Heather. She's so ridiculous with her rich stick, you know?

Like meanwhile, Terry's out there with his mama Elsa face, probably fucking people, which we know now. Well, which we don't know, it's a legend. So then she's like full disclosure, I don't wear jeans since the pandemic. Like you're literally wearing jeans right now, okay? You're wearing white jeans right now in the scene.

It's stupid. Is she Brett, is this like a, is this like a flex for her? I don't know like what brownie points you get for not wearing jeans when jeans are universally a love it, especially if you're going to like Montana and you're like proud that you don't wear jeans. Yeah. I don't know, you know, she's a proud asshole.

She's just a proud asshole. She always has been about her thing So then she goes to talk to it Terry about how sad she is about the kids leaving the twins leaving and She's like, oh my god, just not seeing them here Having dinner which we do so often. Oh, do you remember all the times we had squash spaghetti? Those were fun or the um I was to Nick used to make gosh

Well, it was you know what's fun is that um the The lazy Guna what I was that the layers of the the food that's on top of the food with the cheese and the meats on the inside Oh great meals we have together. Oh, they'd be gone out. What a good time. I just remember I would come home. I would take a golf cart to my bedroom, would stop along, would pass Nikki's room, say hi, would pass Max's room, say hi. I would pass a poster of myself posing like this with my arms crossed sideways, winking with my mouth wide open, like. And then I would just think wow we had children we did that Terry and then we see footage of the kids going up to school so we see Nikki driving up to LMU and then we see Heather and Terry flying Max in a private plane to

Tufts like they're really not setting their children up for success they think that they are a hundred percent setting up their children for success but Max didn't get the tuffs. And she's like, yeah, I just, I just live here on a private plane and she's just gonna not have any friends. They're gonna get bullied, kids are gonna hate them. And I'm with them, I'm with the kids,

I'm with the bullies on this one. So Terry's like, basically, this is the beginning of the end of our lives that we're embarking on. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And she's like, but what about my career? You know, because I gave up my life for this. Well, you know, I mean, this is my life, but my personal dreams and goals in life, you know. I mean, time is looming.

Is it too late for me? Heather, it was never time for you. Why are we pretending that you had some career that you're gonna be... There's no in memoriam that you're gonna be on. You know what I mean? I must say come out at the crappies you will be. Actually, you've already been on an in memoriam.

Yeah. It was at the crappie awards when you left the show the first time. So congratulations, you're gonna be in two in memoriams and it's gonna be the second time you get fired from this show, okay? She just acting like she's like Ava Mendes. There's actress who is just on top of everyone's minds and then sort of went away to take care of herself

and have a family and we're just waiting for Ava Mendes to come back, but it's like, no, you're just, are we? Hold on a minute, are we? I'm sure people are waiting for it. I think everyone would like Ava Mendes. I mean, Ava Mendes was nice. People like Ava Mendes.

She certainly had a lot more build than I had a De Bru. I don't hate her, I just don't remember being like, oh my God, where did Ava Mendes go? No, I don't necessarily feel that on a daily basis, but I think I saw the tribe. For recently, where I was like, oh yeah, Ava Mendes. So her thing was the place beyond the pines. Did she just take that literally?

She's like, um, where she was in a lot of things. You know, I know, but that was her last thing in 2012 was please be on the line. Oh, I think she had to go, I think she had to go to rehab, but then I think she also started a family. And right now as we speak, she may be saying, I gave up everything for this family, and I think I have to move back to Los Angeles

Will will rea was so remember my name Um, yeah, I don't need to dis eva mendes. I was just like Or Eva are telling your a was like am I supposed to be missing? I don't know. I don't know I think of Eva because who cares where we talk? I have same movies with Eva Mendes. I have enjoyed movies with Eva Mendes and you, Heather DeBrow, are no Eva Mendes. That's the point. Okay. You're not even like.

You're not even that chick from Desperate Housewives who is also on Lois and Clark. Terry Hatcher. You're not even Terry Hatcher. Okay. I actually had a great career. Why did I just... Terry Hatcher. Terry Hatcher. You're not even, you're not even Terry Hatcher, okay? I actually had a great career. Why did I just- Terry Hatcher.

Terry Hatcher. Terry Hatcher, Terry Hatcher has a better career than people realize. Yeah, there's nobody knows you, nobody cares, okay? But I'm open to Heather being on like a sitcom. I feel like, I feel like I can see her being a mom on an outing. So calm. No, you know, cause she's from acts like that anyway.

So yeah, like look at me with a dumb fat guy. You know, she's gonna be that kind of sitcom life. He's like, you know, it's like they've got a really skinny kind of, well, she's always doing the thing at the end of sitcoms where the mom and the dad sit down on the couch and she blows her bangs up in her hair and goes, well, I guess we learned something about doing something about this family.

You can never just assume that everything's gonna be normal and then like a freezes in the credits role. Yeah. So she's trying to have this crying scene because you know, she is trying to get her acting career back and she's like, my dreams, my dreams. Oh my God, what about my dreams? Are my goals have I given it all up?

For being a mother, Terry, HAH, HAH! That's what I want to move back to LA for. I want to move to a $50 million apartment to just be one of the people. You know, Terry, you know what I mean? And he's like, plus the restaurants are much better up there, am I right? Ha ha ha ha! I'm gonna start, I am going to find a sound effect of an audience laughing and the music playing as we cut to commercial because that really was a sitcom cue for the end of act one of a sitcom, right?

It was. But Godheader hates him right now. She's like, you have one scene where I try to convince people I have emotions, Terry. She's like, all I want is to be on a television show with Ray Romano, where we have children. That's all I want. So now let's go to Rancho Capastrana wine, or a shall we? Tamra has entered and she sits down and while she waits for someone to join her, she tells the waitress, can we draw a bottle of my opinion? I'm like, no, no, please.

Is that her wine? It must be. It's gotta be. Wine, it's just my opinion. Hold on, wine, it's just my opinion. What's your opinion? I think it's called, I think it's just called my opinion. My opinion wine, right?

Wine, yeah, I don't see, oh, shop Rancho Capastrano winery so this place has its own winery and I guess that because that's what the restaurant's called and I guess that that's since Tamba goes there they have a wine called that's my opinion I don don't know, who knows. So anyway, Taylor comes in and Taylor's like, oh my God, look at you, soxually. Yeah, and then Tamer is like, I can't tell you how excited I am to go to Montana Beach and then the wine arrives until I was like, well, it's been a little bit awkward because we had an issue with the cast with masterpiece, that's the name of the movie, where we had an actor drop out and I said,

Heather, here there's the role and why don't you take it? And so she said, I'm in. And then she came for the acting class and I had printed a script and I spiraled bounded and put ribbons on it and did a magic marker that said for my new BFF on the front. And then she was like, oh, you're, like, oh you're cute, like that, sort of awkward. I think like what a little movie. Brants me a little movie.

Yeah, so I started joking, you know, because when I feel insecure, it just start joking. And I was like, you're coming to Oklahoma with me, man, see, because I'm gonna look like an idiot to these directors. You already do. You said yes, and you would probably fly yourself and put yourself up at the high at place.

No one is buying this. Yeah, sorry that like Sharknino 45, it does not have its appeal to Heather DeBro. So Tamra's like, has it has a way of talking to you that makes you feel blown out until her is. Tamra saying that, which I love because Tamra is not incorrect, but Tamra's way of speaking to you is like, no, I'm not serious. I'm stupid, bitch. I know. So Taylor is like, something she left and then she left the table. So she's left the script on the table. Can you, I mean, I felt a little awkward.

So we see one week ago where Taylor goes, like, hey, Heather, don't forget your script. Don't forget you're gonna need it. And Heather goes, you know what? Just in case you need to do some scene work with someone, I'm gonna leave it here for you. You don't know what scene work is. Okay, you know what, I'm gonna let you look that up

on Wikipedia. You don't know what Wikipedia is either Okay, all right. Well good luck with this movie good luck Heather is an asshole as she did treat her like shit, but you know welcome to Heather I love that and so Taylor is like I mean just take the fucking scrap. I mean, isn't that what actors do? No, what's not? It's not what actors do. Okay. And so then we see Taylor's confessional. Is this her first confessional? Because holy crap. Holy crap. Are they trying to make Gina look middle class? Because wow. Okay. So Taylor is sitting in front of her house

of brown and old chandelier thing in the background. It needs to be dusted. I mean, this whole place looks... It's a fixed wrapper. Let's just say that. She's sitting in a blue velvet pant suit with a kind of wrap-around top that goes around her neck and has two cutouts and then little tiny pearls on it. What the fuck? This is a lot. This is one of the worst outfits I've ever seen on a real house five show. Well done. Taylor fits in great on Orange County. I know I don't know why she's not full-time. So Taylor says, you know I'm not angry at Heather. I mean I'm not I'm not pissed off. I mean my feelings are hurt. I mean it's my first movie role and now she's acting like whatever. I'm like because like you it literally is a whatever. I mean, you have no acting experience

and you're blindly cast in the movie. I don't think anyone's gonna take that seriously. Yeah. And so she says, well, I thought she already thought she had this big long acting career, but I told the director to look her up and he looked up where I am to be

and he said, well, actually the production company walks a casting tape from her. So go ahead and pull it up so you can see your IMDB too. Surely you're not going to only use this against me in about 10 minutes. Right. And I actually, I didn't think this is going to be used against, right? That this is just like a silly scene, right? So Tim is like, okay, all right. So, okay, I, I, I, I, I, these are all the ones she's done. This tiny IMDB and they're like looking at it. They're like, is this as far as the screen scrolls?

I mean, I feel like I'm Alexia. It's like not a lot of movement here on this screen, not a lot of crets, you know? So they're looking at me. This is embarrassing. This is bad. It's not embarrassing that you did work. That's great.

But it's a long time ago. And of course Heather's gonna turn it like, but it's because I was at mother And you know like she does she has a big monologue against Taylor later where she tries to like shame Taylor for being a woman hater or whatever great monologue but She's gonna try to do that But it's not like this was like the lead and ruthless people, you know what I mean or my preferences

I'm sorry. I don't know where I am anymore But it's not like it was this great career. This is what it was an episode of Stark Raven in 1995 Hawaii 501 episode Young and hungry. I don't know what that is. I'm not young and hungry right now and the cast is like It's like Emily Osmond Brian Safi isn't it? Wait that's something that's on right now. Is it on right now? I don't think it's on anymore it's on like ABC Family. It was only on it was on from 2014 to 2018.

Hmm yeah. I'm looking at how long ago I am DB as no other hungry. Any white to episodes. I'm not saying this to say that actually it's pretty cool. So one episode, right? Okay. So then she was in something called sequestered for 12 episodes. 12 episodes in 2014. What's this? She played. But she is basically doing like one or two episodes. Then she had that's life where she was played Lydia Deluca

When she was Heather Page Kent that was you know that was she did that for 36 episodes Which means it got a season and a half by the way Listen she's been a working actress in a lot of little things and there's nothing which is cry about or be embarrassed about I know with it, but there's also nothing to brag about you know what I mean there's There you go. Literally nothing to brag about at the end, okay? Oh my God, she was on Baby Talk. I remember that show, I used to love that show when I was a kid. Remember that show?

I will not talk to babies. That is in my contract. I want to see GI babies. Oh, man, you're only gonna be here four or five minutes. So. This half hour situation comedy feature the adventures of baby Mickey being raised by Maggie, a single mother,

starting her life over in the city. I got, and I think it was like, it was like, look who's talking, and it was like, Tony Danza was the voice of the baby. It's kind of an amazing, Julia Duffy, I remember Julia Duffy was in it. I think Julia Duffy took over as the lead. I think it was like,

I was like, I think it was like, I think Julia Duffy took over as the lead. I think it was like, I think it was like, I think Julia Duffy took over as the lead. I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like,

I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, I think it was like, no, I'm not gonna do that. I'm Julie Duffy. Her? She can act like that.

So then we go back. So it's up to you, Matt. She's an actress right there. Yeah, she's great. She's got a great career. Okay, so then we go back to Heather, the Heather conversation and Tam was like, oh, Malibu countries on here.

We are reminded of my batch. And then we see a clip of Heather, of all the housewives at that time on a bus, on a party bus. And they're going, oh, girls, I've got news. I have booked a job on a sitcom called Malibu Country. And Tamer's like, oh yeah, that's a good enough of that too. Back to time. And then Alexis is like, yeah, they called my publishers too. And then there goes, it's a different part. It's a different part.

It's a different part. I forgot that Alexis Bolido was even offered that too. And then it cuts to Tamer going, I was offered that part too, Benchum. Which is new information, because Tamer was team Heather back then. So now Tamar is like yeah

Literally everybody was offered that part. It was a how real housewives stunt casting role You know speaking of stunt casting let's never forget the season where they had um Lexus Blinow try out to be like an anchor woman on like the local Fox News because that was truly one of the funniest fake storylines of all time. Like that was one of those. Like it was totally fake, but in execution, it was just brilliant. I don't see why do we get more,

like as long as they're gonna repeat storylines, because they always repeat storylines. You know, we always have to like, maybe I'm gonna have a baby or something like that. Why don't we have a repeat of the, I want to be a news anchor, because it was really great. No one can do it like Alexis. She's like the Julia Duffy show. When she's like, yeah, and then there was a burnt there was a fire in the building. Oh my god, I hope they're okay. They saved the baby though. Oh

thank god. All right. So, Tampa, so the food arrives and Heather has not reached out to Taylor. And Tamara thinks that Taylor should talk to Heather about this whole situation. And Taylor is like, but does she think like if I'm going to get cast that she's like too good to get cast in it, does she think that like Oklahoma is a honky-tongued movie town? Like is it because she doesn't have the time? And Tamrat says what we all are saying. It's all of the above, yes. You answered the question, Taylor, that's exactly it.

Yes, Taylor. She thinks you're a cheese ball. No one in the right mind would put you in a movie and that if they did put you in a movie and you're probably paying for your own high-placed Oklahoma, that it's a ratchet movie, yes. That is what she's thinking, and that's why she doesn't want to do it.

And yes, you being in it does make it less of a desirable movie to be in, okay? Just like Ava Mendes would make it more disciple. You understand? Okay, this little side of Julia Duffy would make a contract signing moment. If a producer goes up to Julia Roberts and says, we got this great movie, we just

signed Julia Duffy as one of the principles, would you like to join Julia Roberts as you can say no? Okay. Which is really not smart of her because she should say yes. But that's a different story. Different. It sure is. It's a different, it's a different subject altogether. It's a different way. So then we go to everybody getting ready for the trip. So Shannon is getting ready. So then we go to everybody getting ready for the trip. So Shannon is getting ready with her girls and threatening to put cameras in the house because they're pretending they're not gonna have parties,

but they're all looking at each other like, we're not having parties, right guys? So they're obviously gonna be partying their fucking faces off and good for them. Who doesn't want a party in a house based off of a seafood restaurant? I wonder where to go there. Wait, what? A house based on seafood red lobster?

Yeah, she goes to the shant. I was like, I'm not a call. It's like there's like little port holes and stuff. If you look around my house, it looks like it's farmhouse. It's like farmhouse. It's like farmhouse, but also like long john solvers kind of vibes going on in the house There's a lot of port hole art The good news for Shannon is that she doesn't keep any booze in that household

so Anyway, she's just joking with them. Yeah, like I'm gonna put cameras at and then we go to Gina trying on clothes for her room and She nearly trips trying to access some of her clothing that's like high up. Like it's in that because she basically has such a limited storage space that she has to like keep things in like a crawl space that's like above or closet or something like that. So she's trying to get a stool or chair to reach it. And then we see Tamara packing and Eddie walks in with like a birthday present. It's a bag from Louis Vuitton. And in terms of, oh my

god, Batch, did you get these at Costco? He's like, yeah, I got these at Costco as they continue their sitcom life. Yeah. My mom make it out with that guy. It looks like Bert. Bert and Ernie. So, by the way, these are the ugliest Louis Vuitton shoes I've ever seen and Louis stands for pretty ugly things, but these are Doc Martin style. Yeah, like 1994. Run, Jira.

Ugly. So then we go to the airport and everyone's gathering and someone is asking about Emily. Well, Emily can't show up and she did a video to tell everybody because we all love that, don't we? When instead of friends just text, I got COVID, I can't come. They forced the entire group to watch literally seven minutes of Emily talking about. No one cares, Emily.

No one can watch that long of a scene of you on the show. We're certainly not gonna do it on the eye message. Okay, FF. Does Emily wear a wig? Because if she does, look to me like her wig was falling off. And now there's no shame in that, but I just was tickled,

because I felt like I saw the hair from underneath the wig, so we're like poking out, and her wig was all the way back. And I don't know, but she better get it glued on so she can continue trying to sell a shame face to the country. Fix your wig before face to the country. Fix your wig, okay.

Before you do the video. So then, and then Heather is now saying, everyone's talking about they're not nature people, you know, and Heather's like, no one would describe me as country, but what are my favorite shows going up was that's life starring me. I mean, I just loved my own show. It was great work, but I also really enjoyed Little House in the Prairie. Um, or as Gina calls it, House on the Prairie. So maybe with the right hair and hair style and some cute boots, I could do it. I could mean the country. Um, Heather. So, um, then we go to Gina, um, being mad because she

asked me to go on to strip without my, my vacation wife like who am I gonna spoon with? So they're just like I've never been to a deep ranch or been on a horse before and tamers like She's like we ride cabbages that oh my god, I can't ride a cabbages. I'm not getting trauma I'm like you you cheating bitch So now they land when they thought that we see footage of the plane landing and Shannon is like in full like bug-eye motion Oh, that was quite the landing What sort of turbulence did you just go through? Oh, oh, oh, oh, what sort of turbulence did you just go through?

There is a certain way to land in Missoula. I don't think it's ever smooth because I've been to Missoula. So one of my best friends moved. So I've been there, love Missoula, great little town. But there's something about going in there that it's like we're in the country now, you know? And they like beat you over the head with it everywhere you go.

They're like, this is the country. So as you land, I think they're like, shake the plane. Shake the planes so they know they're coming into the country and they're looking to be alive. And the plane's like, it's Kevin Possible, your cannons. Yeah, they're like playing the sound effect like, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maa, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maaah, maa, maa real. You know, by the time you lane, the plane is just a giant covered wagon. I love Missoula. It's one of my favorite things that Alfredo makes us for dinner. So the women are getting their bags at baggage

claim. And then Jason, the ranch manager picks them up. They get in the SUVs and everything. And it's like, whoa, Jason, this bag is mooch-o-heavy-yo. I was like, you're a mountain cobb-o. And then they're driving by and they're looking at the landscape and there's like a pond and others. Is that a little pond? Like, wow, your powers of observation are really unparalleled, they're a Heather. So let's see, we go to the Alpine Ranch. And Jason's like, we got everything here. Elk, Moose, Bear, Coivfish. A natural species to Montana, Coivish.

I know, right? Do you have a home goods? Then no, you don't have everything here. Who says that? We have everything here. Where's Melissa Gilbert? Moose. I love the last of the prairie.

I got ya. So they get to the house and Gina's like, oh my gosh, this is beautiful. And they have a bunk house and then a villa house. And Heather's like, I feel like I'm a villa person. You don't say. Heather's like, this is not one of the moments when I'm gonna pretend to be of the people. Put me in the villa, thank you.

Yeah, so then they see a, they have a lantern in the bunk house where there's like guns in the lantern And then like if you don't behave in this bill, I'm gonna shoot you in the eyes I'm just like, oh I need a New Yorker with a gun. God don't give that to anoy So Shannon walks into the kitchen of this bunkhouse and she goes wow This kitchen is too small for me to cook in. Oh, I'm not gonna be cooking in here. Oh no, I need a bigger...

Why are we pretending that Shannon's like some amazing chef? I mean, I know that we've been doing that ever since she started her real for real, but no one's buying your pioneer town bullshit, Shannon. Okay, keep your fucking chicken daily yourself. Okay, no need for cooking here. We're impying your town.

I wonder if she has an evening where she's like, I'm gonna be showing off some new recipes from real, but this kitchen's just a little bit too small for me to roast some salmon and put stuff up with cream cheese. So where am I to say a divilla? 100%. Gina is like, Well, you know what?

Like, maybe if I room with Jen, I'll get to know her better and get over some of these negative feelings. I'm having twans. I'm like, yeah, that's probably the way you should do it. And, and they already have like laundry's running in their in the bunkhouse already, they're just already like cleaning their robes or whatever. So since they're bad drugs,, which I think is funny. Cause that's, yeah, that is very Gima, you know.

So then, um, Tamra's like, oh my God, her in. Get us away from this bunkhouse before Summer Chasing Make Us Stay in Tram. And she sounds like, do not stop, stop, that's mean, Tamra. And she's like, well, do you do what's staying there? And she's like, no, that kitchen is way too tiny. I need to have a large kitchen because I am a culinary genius. And how does it come out? Let's go to the villa. So they drive up to the villa and then we have like just like some little things, standard vacation things where people face

time home as if anyone cares. So Jen's like face, I mean, Ryan and then the other girls are arriving at the villa, and Tam is like, I feel like that we can stay here because it's big enough. Well, it is actually kind of funny that they have to put several people down in this like tiny bunkhouse place when this is like an enormous, enormous villa.

But I'm just gonna assume that some of those rooms were where producers were staying in. That's my theory. Or maybe that was just like a three bedroom, who knows? I don't know. What? I don't know. But I will tell you this, Shannon's like,

well, I've got a Quiddell in this kitchen. That's me, Shannon Storms, Gretel's Bedore. And so they go on a tour of all these rooms. And Shannon starts getting really moody as Shannon does. She's like pissed off without something. And it's like, oh, well, there's a Quiddell. Oh, but this bedroom is, there's a lot of windows in it. I don't know if I'm really up to that in this bed.

It's a little, much, much, much. None of the three bears would have liked that. Well, is that a rug on the floor? I don't know. I don't know what kind of vacation this is. Well, look, that's a view over, look at the lake. Oh, well, that's pretty as there is there a zika vibe isn't that lake? You know, if I decide to have another child, this could be an issue.

And Tim was like, oh my god, there's fun shenan, there's sad shenan, and there's vacation shenan. So, zika virus, that sounds fun. Yeah, gosh. So, in this kitchen, am I going to be cooking chicken? Or are we all going to be cooking chicken pox? Because this place looks disgusting. Yeah. Um, does anyone know if you're still able to have a sense of taste after you can try to-

Seek of iris from your bedroom. Ha. So, so Timer, Taylor is like, um, I'm really worried about the room you guys want to put me in because that's old glass windows and I'm just got some hormonishes going on here as well. I think I'm going to go stay at the poor people ass, I just feel more comfortable there. I feel like they'd be more into velvet jumpsuits with timing little fake pearls. I'm like, bye. I think my character is someone who overheats a lot, so I just really, I heard about this thing called method, so I'm just really gonna work on it by being in the bunkhouse.

So, she moves down there and Heather goes, Shannon, are you ready? And she's like, say, oh, you guys, I'm sorry, I, oh, because it's time to go do their first activity. And she's like, I'm, guys, I'm sorry, I have not put on my makeup. Okay, I will have to meet you there. And I don't, I don't want to meet you there, but I haven't touched up my makeup. Is my makeup done? No. Well, I have it done in time. No? Well, you don't have so much one person could do. You've got to come into the home. I went to that home. I went to this home. I've seen a kitchen that was too small. I saw a griddle which frankly, was a bit of a challenge to me. And I just felt a little challenge by that griddle. The moment I walked in here, have I had time to do my makeup? No, I have not. So I'm sorry. Oh, I can only do one thing at a time. Jesus Christ. Fine. It'll be fine.

So then Tamer and Heather just like leave and and they have to take like kind of like a buggy kind of thing, like a, like a, like a, like a forest. So it's like a four wheeler, it's like camouflage, just in case, you know, then you just sneak around in the woods. Okay, so you need to kill an elk. What do you think people go there for? He's like, we got everything here.

You can shoot milk, you can shoot a deer, you can shoot a coifish, whatever you fucking want too. So yeah, there's like, do not roll this, Tamara. Tamara's like, you just crashed one time and people don't let you forget it, bitch. So then of course they show the footage of her rolling down the dunes and glamorous. I was always pulled out one at whenever they can.

And they don't get to do it often. That was very bad, too, was terrible. You know, you expect it on real house slides just to be like, it falls over and they're like a Tamara. But this was like, yeah, he's like roll, roll, you expect it on real housewives just to be like, it falls over. And they're like a camera, but this was like, yikes. It's like roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. So, um, question to an elk, be kicked up into the sky, be eaten by a well, be spit out, be kicked in the ass

by a Kory fish, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. Car starts on fire. It's like, geez. So they get, they arrive at a mechanical bowl. And jeez is like, oh my god. This is a real piss by a tree kind of place. It goes, it's a what? What is that?

Excuse me. I love that there's a big long pause. My other side. What? What? Ah! So, uh, a tree. Tamra's like, oh my god, the cat is above the spickstack. Bam, bam, bam!

And then we see the moment where Heather had her ground breaking party on her mall house and add a mechanical bull there and whisper to the guy to make it go really fast for Tamra and then Tamra broke something. She's like, I broke a bad. Like throws her off and she broke something. So she goes, yeah, she goes, I think I told my vagina. So, oh, because now they're doing it.

And then, so Heather gets on the bull. And I said she refuses. Okay, I don't know what that is. That's, I mean, that's a general note for Heather. I refuse, I refuse. And then Jen goes on, Jennifer, there's people go on and they fall off. They go on, get, fall off.

Oh, I'm sorry, you know what? Heather doesn't get on the bull. She refuses to get on the bull, of course. So, by the way, this whole scene is kind of beautiful because it's like sunset. So all the light is kind of golden coming through the trees and there's shadows. I was like, this, this moment has no right to be as beautiful on screen because it's like sunset. So all the light is kind of golden coming through the trees and the shadows. I was like, this, this moment has no right to be as beautiful

on screen as it is right now. And then Sham is like, well, I can't do this. I have a bony vagina. And you know, it's because Tamra's like, what's wrong with it for John? Is it too meaty? Because they actually have a surgery for that. And she's like, no, it's bony.

It's not just a lot of skin. I feel, I feel it all in my bones. And so Tamara does it again. And then she falls down again. And Shannon goes, hold down. Hold down. So now dinner is ready. They've set up a whole kind of like a spread

on a table out there, lots of beef, lots of big cuts of beef, and Heather goes up, there's a pile of sausages, and Heather goes up, because is this a hot dog or is it a sausage? I need to know just how down to earth I should be at this moment. So they make dense ween or jokes, and Gina's like, this is a dense ween. And Tim was like, are you sharing a ween? And Gina's like, yeah, a dense Weema. And Tamra's like, are you sharing a Weema?

And Gina's like, yeah, me and Zheng got real close. We're close enough to share Weema's. And Tamra is like, and then what Gina tells us all be honest from why I hear about Ryan, this isn't Zheng's first time sharing Weema's. Mm-hmm. So then Tamra's like,

so, Jen and Taylor, since some of the girls here don't know you very well, tell us something We don't know about you so I could use it against you later. So Taylor's like, well people may not know this I'm bisexual and everyone's like, what? She's like, yeah, she's like, what are you nervous about being around me in the Boncast now, Jan, you know? So Tamara's's like, well I know this is not a shock. This isn't a shock to me because I know Taylor so much already. Yeah, that was a flex. But you had like a full blonde relationship with a woman, didn't you? And it turns out Taylor did have a relationship for five years before Russell with a woman,

which I don't, if we learned that, I had totally forgotten about it. Oh, something made of us. She just said it something new. Man, look at that. Yes, male. Thank you, Taylor. Thank you for sharing. Here's next.

So next up is Jen. Jen's like, well, you guys may not have known just about me, but I was a flight attendant. And she was like, oh my God, I was too. It's like, oh, spirit. Spare it. Spare it. I feel like 100% is good as Taylor's secret.

Taylor's like, I was, I am a bisexual and I was in a relationship with a woman. Also, my husband looks like Rosie O'Donnell, so that explains a lot of things, right? And then Jen's like, I was a flight attendant. It's like, not as good. But then she does go on and say that she met, not, she met her first husband on a flight.

And then it was, she was like, was he in first class? And she's like, no, he's an economy. But he went to law school and he graduated law school. He went to like Georgetown. And she's like, oh, Georgetown! Oh, how favorite, that's a very nice, no USC, but it's very good, very good. And she's like, oh my God, give me more of this, Jen,

because you know, if we and started where we started, we could have started more on comic ground like this. So what are you talking about? She's mentioning a past job. You started on a bad ground because you judged her immediately. Yeah. Like how about you ask your questions about herself and maybe you can get this quote unquote this Jen. Just ask questions. Who are she? Literally just telling you facts about herself so Shannon's like well I'll be right back I've just got to say something real quick is that John okay that's that's what you guys didn't know about me now I will be right back because

my person who is supposed to watch my kids I did not show up and Tamer's like your kids are 18 I did not show up and Tim was like your kids are 18 With John I don't think that's him over there. I think that's actually a coin fish. I Can't fish someone's quite fish Okay, well, I'm gonna go the babysitter's not there. I'm not this is not an obvious Excuse for me to go and change into a wacky costume. I'm just I have it just John There's one of my twins lost both her arms suddenly. So they just fell off in the living room.

So I have to go, I have to go to this. Bye, bye everyone. So, but they don't know that she's just coming up for them excuse. So time is like, wow, they've been to Katherine at the time. I mean, either you're in a, you're not. Like if you won't watch your cats, you're not in a patch. But K-Risid, it's John. Does anybody even know that so-called

assessors get it that bad? And Heather's like, maybe this means he's not 100% in. Yeah, you know what? If you were all in, you would say, this is what's gonna happen next. This is what we've discussed. This is what roles I want in the reboot

of my acting career and this is what I want to happen. Okay, but that's not what Shannon's saying. So, uh, Jen's like, well, I was shocked to shit, Tamara, that you're roaming with Shannon. I thought you guys were fighting. And Heather's like, it's a very large house. Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking back to Orange County. That's a hot dog. This is a hot dog.

Is this, now is this hot dog? That is broccoli. Oh, got it. So Taylor's like, well, maybe my friendship is either, maybe their friendship is like either fucking or fighting, am I right? And then we go, well, we just have such a long ass history batch that is friends. Like, we're just like gonna be, like, we're never gonna find a resolution about the past. So like, why not move on? Am I right? And it's like, yes.

Time to move on. Time to move on. By the way, is Shannon lost? Is she okay? Is she been mauled by a grizzly bear at this point? So then we cut to the saloon. And Shannon is now addressed like she's in a Bordello. Yes, she's like a like a showgirl or a hooker in a Bordello and it's like I'm feds and can we go to the lab and she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like she's like hear wolves like, oh, I was like, please stop letting Gina scream out here. Every animal here just wants peace back. You know?

No. So they walk into the saloon and Shannon's there and she has like a tray of shots. She has, hey, well, I got some shots for some thirsty strangers. Come on. I'm going to put down this tray because I'm not very good with trays,

so I'm just gonna put this here, you guys can all just serve yourselves. And then we see 10 minutes earlier, her trying to fill shot glasses, but they're all broken, so there's tequila all over the bar. She's losing her mind because she knows she only has a little bit of time.

And she's like, this was broken too, what do I do? Oh, this is like my marriage to David. Broken. So then she and I was like, oh my God, I'm just here for the taxidermy. I mean, swap, no, watch. Look at the beaver.

Look at the beaver. It freaks me out. Oh my God, what is that? A turkey? Jesus, scary. Gina is very excited at the thought that she could have a pet that she doesn't have to spend money on feeding.

She's like, doesn't have any vet bills. Don't have to feed it. You just put it in the living room and it's like a real pet. So Santa's like, whoa, Judge, what are you getting me into, girl? And so they do shots. And Tam is like, tell me to be getting. Tell me to be getting. I'm happy. I'm not happy too. So let's just start slow and, um, trust each other. I love you. I'm Shannon's like, I, oh, oh, I love you, no, damn. I love you too. We're back.

We're back. She just lays down on the floor. I'll call out for me. Go ahead. So then, Heather's like, oh, so, Taylor, I'm strong. What's going on with your adorable student film? And she'll say, well, it's moving forward. I mean, I really wanted you to do it, but we'll be

talked about it. I didn't think you were being serious. The way you had your spiral bound script and magic marker on it, the cover that said, my first movie script, you know, I was cute. It was very cute. Well, I didn't know if you didn't want to be in it because maybe you thought I was a rucking actress and you didn't want to talk to her name to anything that I'm attached to. Are you kidding me? I listen. Of course I felt that way but I would

never say that. I think this is a you issue, not a me issue, because I don't really feel that way. I don't feel like, oh, you're a rookie actress. I know that, so I don't have to feel that. So usually, if someone wants me to do something, someone would call, they would send the script. You know, there's a protocol for these things, okay? There's producers, there's directors, there's agents, okay? There's producers, there's directors,

there's agents, okay, there's Reba McIntyre, there's no Taylor Armstrong in Hollywood. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? And Taylor's like, okay, wow, you have more experience than me, so I guess you should know, and she'd better make the face because she sees it Taylor, it's like being bitchy with her and Taylor is like I mean the thing is that they just lost an actress in a split second. How does it guess but they didn't hire an actress because there are no rules and there's no understanding and there's no knowledge of when is it? What days are they am I available? You know, it's not your movie is this union?

It's a craft services. You're not a producer. You're not a director This is not this is something you've built up in your head. That's nothing to do with me. Do you understand what I'm saying? She just starts growing in her butt and eyes start turning black smoke Comes up behind her She's basically like do not Embrill me in the drama of your stupid movie. So Taylor's like, yeah, well, if they, if they reached out to you and shared the script with you, would

you do it? Heather goes, I would 100% read it. Read it. I would read it. If they reached out to me with that role, I would be all in on looking at the credits people involved in it. Yeah, and Taylor goes, wow, I guess we'll just go from there then. Like, she's pissed. And so Heather's telling us, I mean, I don't get it. If you're so hurt, then why do you want me in the movie, Taylor? And Taylor's like, we'll go from there and how do you go? Well, are we actually good now, though?

Or are you gonna do this poor person extra background role under five kind of an attitude thing, not saying anything because you're not paid for more than five lines in this scene? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And Taylor's like, no, we're good. So they have like, sort of like an air kiss thing. And it's all settled, but Tamer's not happy with that. Tamer knows that this could be a real fight. so she goes, hey, didn't she say the producer

said she has to try out for it and tell her, yeah, I mean they said they wanted to see a casting tape. I didn't tell her that. And Taylor's like, no, but of course Heather here is such a, oh, and now her eyes are fully evil. She's like, are you serious? Oh, she let me set this. The director wasn't impressed with my IMDB.

Are you serious? Wow, I can't believe a director didn't fall down after reading your IMDB, how they're crazy. And how they're like, well, he said that she can send a casting to him. And Heather starts doing her like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh who is in hot and Cleveland, Malibu country, and a pilot called Now You Know has to send in a casting tape. So just for clarity, I was offered a role, then I turned down the role, but I was better

than the role, but now I'm not good enough for the role, and still no one has reached out to me. Yeah, she's like, um, wait a minute. Okay, this is good. This is good everybody. So your IMDB was good enough, but I have to send an audition tape. Someone who did a guest appearance on Baby Talk, which Julia Duffy, I have to send an casting tape. And you've never even worked before, but I have. Okay, but you get a role. Okay, okay. Okay. Like the combination of her sort of like spiraling,

like she's spiraling into direction. She's like spiraling upwards into rage, but also spiraling downwards into like frustration. It's pathetic. It is so funny, it's so pathetic. Watching someone with that IMDB get defensive is the funniest fucking thing about it. So, Shannon is like,

well, I see both sides of this tailor doesn't understand how, well, casting for a film arcs or really how cotton candy works or God, watching her eat that weiner was really hard. Now that said, I don't think that Heather's reaction should have been that condescending, but we are familiar with that tone with the Miss Heather page. You can just read my purse lips. So Heather turns the temperature. So she got the offer, but I audition. I have to audition. Apparently I'm not good enough.

The person who actually lives in a movie sound stage It's not good enough to film over in the Harris-Teter of Oklahoma And yeah shiphels at your IMD bat lot's cuz they went to lunch and then say there was like oh my god Do you want to see something stupid and gross? I'm gonna put that Wow, okay, so you looked at my IMDv you you know, and he was like, yeah, you've done a lot of stuff Well, you know what what what it's funny is we were just at the airport and we ran into Diane Regario Who created that's life that I started in CBS with Paul Servino and This is like she's literally saying this she is literally saying this like I was in a show 20 years ago at Paul Servino and Diane Rogerio, it was a Diane Rogerio joint and I was the star of it.

Also, her whole thing is like, oh really? He's not impressed with my IMDB. Everyone knows my IMDB is amazing, but then she's mad that someone read her IMDB at the same time. I know. She cannot keep it together. And I don't even know that Diane Regario was at the airport. I feel like Heather was like, hi Diane. She created sitcoms on high. Enjoy that synabon. And Taylor goes, oh yeah, I read about that one. So it was 22 episodes. Where are you saying it like that?

Where are you saying it like that? Where are you saying it like that 22 episodes? No, that's a long run. 22 episodes is a lot. That's that's exciting, you know? And she, Gina, of course, weighs in. She's like, you know, this whole argument is like so absurd. And to me, because Taylor acts like she's been so offended. Meanwhile, she hasn't been in a movie yet and then have the acts like Taylor just came in and took her Oscar's away from her, like she's Judy fucking down. She's like, come on, ladies.

And Taylor's like, I mean, I was confused because like, why would they ask you to do a casting tape when you've done so much? I mean, that was just so much. Like Taylor's trying to get out of it now, but she cannot get out of it. Because she is guilty.. She is being she is being salient, you know, but also like no matter what she says She is now she is dealing with the bruised at bruised ego of an actress who does not have a lot of credits And that is a very difficult thing to deal because once you're in that hole no matter what you say is gonna be in a front

And on top it's like both in a front slash an audition to anyone who might be watching now. Because now they're like, I have to work on my IMDB, so I have to be dramatic. So Heather's lips are like so purse. And she's like, she's like, that sounds very punitive to look me up. Like that, that's very punitive. Oh, here we go with Heather

and her misuse of punitive. And even if that is a technically correct use of punitive, Heather never, I feel like Heather never uses punitive in a way that sounds correct or natural She just likes that she knows the word punitive. I said it a lot. I would like to adjudicate that so then Taylor That's her other one she'll pull that one out the seats my guarantee it and Taylor's like I mean I just thought with your pedigree that they they would be super excited and had a good, that's very rude how you're saying that. She was like, what? She was your pedigree, what am I, a dog?

I was like, okay, miss a judicate punitive who doesn't understand pedigree used properly in a sentence. Pedigree, it was a good, that was a nice thing to say. And everyone's like, it was a nice, you said pedigree. It was a nice, it was a good use of pedigree. And Taylor's like, you know, you said, it was a good, you said, it was a good, you said, pedigree. And Taylor's like, I thought with all the acting history that they would have been super excited

to have you on board, and then Tamra goes, yeah, and I do have to call you out of one thing. Tamra is terrible. Like Taylor is not gonna get out of this because Tamra won't let her. No, Taylor did actually try to nip this And but she didn't bring up the soul casting thing, but Tamra is she's just gonna drag Taylor and just because tell her I have to call you out on one thing we talked about how when you looked at her IMDB. You didn't think I was impressive

Tamra was the one to sitting there being like oh my god it's hilarious what's like I I've what Zerba how many credits are on here said now Heather's like you said that you were not impressed with my IMDB and it was like well when he came back to me now for a casting tape I was like well let's see what she's done, cause now I look fucking stupid, so we look like she's, oh, that is so... incredibly... ROOOD!

I am someone who has put my entire life on hold, as many women do, for my family, and for you, to dedicate my career, is not only anti-female, it is not nice. And I am at a crossroads in my life, figuring out who I am and I just find this to be so incredibly rude and for you to sit with Tamra and talk about my IMDB when you were offered a part, when you have never been in anything ever and I was excited for you. That is the person that I am. And the kind of person you are is to offer me a role that you had no business offering me in the first place. And then take all of my talk shit to all of my friends about my career. Fuck you. I was like, whoa! And Taylor is just like looking around. Uh, Heather, your IMDB is nothing to brag about,

and that's okay. Get off the fucking high horse and get the stick out of your ass. Listen, I'm old, I don't have any career at all. And even I was like, I'm gonna get an agent and start going to auditions and I did it. And I don't regret it. But I'm not gonna walk in there acting like I'm fucking Meryl Streep, okay?

Yeah, that being said, Heather really has a way with a monologue and she does a great one. I feel like every time she comes up with them, she does her once a season monologue and I just feel like I can see, like just like, if I were a drag queen, I probably would memorize it and lip sync it on stage because I just love them.

You know, last year's of course was legendary. This one, the way she managed to turn this IMDB issue into a statement about her being a mother and this being anti-women, all that. It's just amazing. I was laughing out loud. She did a good job on that one. Well, this is a really fun episode of Real Housewives of Orange County.

Oh, hilarious. I just love a fight about an IMDB credit. It's so good. This is actually like the news thing. Where the news thing, where it's like the whole thing is very contrived. Taylor being in a movie, very contrived, but it's just yielding wonderful, wonderful results. So anyway, yeah. Thank you everyone Again, we're gonna have a whole week of content. So go check don't like just because we're not gonna be here We will still be here in some ways. So go tune in for all of that and we will catch you Soon enough everyone. So thanks for being here. We'll catch you in the next one

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