Watch What Crappens - RHOC: Texas Scold'em

Episode Date: August 15, 2018

The Real Housewives of Orange County have a poker party, but can Vicki make it all the way through without being cried at? Probably not. This week's bonus episode is about Ben's emotional journey through Italy. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Garsh! tees only on sale through August at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to West Palm Beach, Atlanta and Denver! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Pristie, wow, where'd he dowry? Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Began Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Just saying, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Suzy, going to the Tobin.

Anna. God, I love that banana. Anderson. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayer Taylor. Avadigila Weber. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Pelligrant, Fegrant Master.

Give them hell, Miss no well, the incredible edible Matthews sisters, and Lizzie Drucker, a fun mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeal Braves, I'm Ronnie, I'm from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast as well, which is now covering Bachelor in Paradise. And here I am with my gorgeous little missing but found partner, friend, Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. How are you, baby? Hello, informed the authorities. I have been found. I was missing for about five minutes and I was getting alarming when owner writer was already like putting Christmas lights up on her living room wall

But guess what I went to the upside down and I said I don't like it in here. Why would anyone be in here? I'm going back to real life Then when you got back to real life you were like why was why known as stealing the scarves out of my drawer? Yeah, oh, why no, no no you'll never live that down god I'm so glad I zapt her with the telephone everybody today is real housewives of Orange County Day I want to think Miss Leah Black for co-hosting last week while Ben was gone Miss Leah Black really fun we missed a couple things like that last dinner that they had and Kelly making out with Red Scarf

Who's now in a gray scarf? God that guy. So we'll get to that today, but first comes your live shows. We're doing live shows this month Next week actually we're gonna be in West Palm Beach to do the Real House West of New York reunion part one recap And then we're doing two shows in the same night in Atlanta and Come come. Yeah, we haven't decided what we're doing two shows in the same night in Atlanta. And come, come to this. We haven't decided what we're covering just yet, but we'll let you guys know. It'll be good no matter what.

Yeah, and you can get your garbage shirts over at WatchWithCrapins.com as long as, as well as ticket links. So good. Yeah, yeah, back now because we're getting to the deadline. I mean, it's just like seven days away. So we deadline. I mean, it's just like seven days away. So, or I'm just like, maybe, maybe eight days. Huh, who's counting, huh? But it's gonna be super, super fun.

And I have been talking to everyone that I am planning on going to account just the win tour of West Palm Beach. Anyone who wants to join me can join me. But I will be walking around taking pictures of docs and hotels and trying to find a jazz singer and perhaps that cat So it's gonna be a great time whether or not Ben will have company depends on whether okay Whoa, the god isn't trying to kill Ronnie with a heart attack next week. Okay. Oh, that's true We'll be a little hot and humid, but maybe we can just get some mums.

We need our Patricia the caftain back. We do. We do. When in Palm Beach, where are caftain? Hell, yes. Anything that looks like it's from Golden Girls. Can we go see the gold, oh, that's a Miami. Never mind.

Well, the Golden Girls house is here in LA. You know, it's not ruining my life. Sorry. I'm so excited to go in LA. It's like, it's not ruining my life. This is sorry. I'm so excited to go to my house. It's like just over, it's just past a 405, I've heard. Whatever, they would live past a 405. Ha, ha, ha. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Obviously, as you mentioned, what I wasn't here last week, but I am fully caught up on my Orange County. And I have to say, I don't know what you guys talked about last week, because I didn't listen.

But so far, I'm really into Gina. I'm really feeling Gina. I think she's the energy this show needs right now. Well, it's some energy, which is more than I can say for a lot of the show. Exactly. She's like talking. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

As if I mean, like Emily's like, you know, like just sort of like, she's sort of like a big penguin just standing there, like rotating left and right. Yeah, Emily. Emily. Emily's in the Robin family of voices, but she's got kind of like more of a goofy kind of way to talk.

Well, she came from the middle, she came from middle, middle burger, middle town Ohio. So, you know, she's super nice and I liked it. Her kids really stress her out and kind of make her miserable and her husband is now the new villain of the Real Housewives of Orange County. What a dick. Hey, by the way, your husband's a dick lady. Get rid of him. Yeah. It's never a good sign when your husband is borrowing storylines from Craig on Southern Charm. Okay. He hasn't taken the bar and he's like, what, 65 years old? Come on now. Yeah. And then he's going to yell at the women. So he's going to be like a Jim Bellino.

Yeah. Jesus. He's going to be like a dopey, a dopey or version of Jim Bellino. Yeah. I can't say that the new husband's on the show or that great, especially because one of them is an absentee Although have you seen the photos of him online that have surfaced? Rarer. He's hot. Well, he's gone anyway. They they filed for divorce. So see you see you sucka Did they both file for divorce or just Gina? You know, I don't know because some things I just don't want to read on the internet like I don't want to read about your divorce I don't care if you died

I don't want you to tell me about it online tell me in real life that you're dead, you know Like there's some things I just don't like I get to that Be sure to send off a quick text message before before when you start when you see the light instead of going to the light Just send a quick text and then go to the light. Yeah, or when you're in heaven just tap on my window through a bird Yeah, you know that kind of thing tap on my window through a bird. Yeah, you know, that kind of thing. The bird. You know, if you've been watching Big Brother this season,

there is a recurring bird situation that is the spirit of someone's grandfather that's visiting the house. So it's not Orange County is not the only place where this is happening. Yeah, I used to think that my aunt was coming back and talking to me through a bird. I'm not talking, but like staring in my window. And it gave me comfort.

And then I shot it. I just can't just get it. I could probably go side come back as something cooler than a bird. I'm sorry. Like maybe I guess it's cool because you can fly. So you're like, oh, finally I can see what flying is like, but like come back. I don't know. I don't know what I would come back as, but I just don't think it would be a bird.

Like, you know, I would come back as, but I just don't think it would be a bird. Like, you know, I would come back. It would be an animal. Is an animal or anything? Is anything. OK, what would you come back as? Well, I don't, I think I would come back as like, something that could communicate more effectively than a bird tapping on a window. Like, me, like, something that could use letters.

Like, I probably would come back as like a computer, you know, or a smartphone and like really messages that I'd like keep texting with you like a ghostly text. I like that. I think I'm just sticking the animals because if I could come back as anything like a fire truck, you know, I don't want to do that because I would. I choose like the dumbest thing to come back as. I think if it was an animal, I don't want to do that because I would I choose like the dumbest thing to come back as I think if it was an animal I'd be a squirrel because really no one really wants to kill a squirrel because they're really cute And they just eat nuts and they can run up trees and they can kind of fly Yeah, some of them do sort of fly you're right. I mean, I'm sure they have some predators I don't know what animal I would come back as you know for many years. I probably would have said um

I would have probably said armadillo, but you know, we've learned some things about armadillos recently where I'm like, I don't, I panic and I don't want to be one of those armadillos that like jumps into a car and dies. I would, I would, I would, I would be stupid. I would like, immediately run to the car and jump into it. And I don't want to be a kamikaze armadillo. Yeah, and I couldn't be a bird because I'd be the first one pushed out of the nest and I like, I'd fall on my head and break it

Like why me buy food last like two seconds. You know knowing me. I'd be a peacock You know To be in a Katy Perry song I'd be sort of ornery and then like Like if I'm feeling like I'm not getting attention those those feathers go up and I'm like hey everyone look at me You know, you like the most obnoxious. But then get mad when everyone gets drawn to me like no, don't come near me. Even opening up fantastic display right now. Thanks for being here the recap of our reincarnations. We've had a great Wednesday or Tuesday.

We'll see you later. So today is so let's start a little bit with that dinner from last week because Lee and I really like talking but we're like okay then they went to dinner and she'll be like remember when we went to dinner. We never get we never got to the most important part was that they go to this dinner and they got in the fight. We talked about that a little bit but we did not talk about the crazy face that Kelly was making out with at that dinner. Oh God. It was like a giant shield came walking in that had a scarf on and sat down next to her and they just started making out and it was so disgusting.

I'm like, Kelly, you can do so much better than this low-rand Max Weinberg. You are like hot. You deserve like a hot doctor, not just a doctor. Yeah, he looks kind of like, you know, in Westworld when they're making new robots, they're made out of like this putty stuff. And it looks like they're making like an old Western guy robot, but before they color him in and stuff.

That's what he looked like. He looked like very pale and on the slab Kind of Westworld, you know, Old Man saloon owner robot. Yeah, I think he looked like He looked like a like a battering ram or something like he should have a pole attached to his head and just like be knocking down castle walls Have any cash roasty Buck Kelly Have you cast Rose-T-Wat Kelly? Yeah, that was disgusting. They were making out in the restaurant, and they were so gross that everyone just had to leave.

Which I think I actually really applaud them for just getting up and leaving, because I feel like I'm always one just stuck staring at that. I don't know, I don't know what. I feel like Kelly was not the type that would do that, but I guess I feel like she would be the type of like, ew, ew, look at that old guy Just into someone at the table. Ew

Well, they're all like that when it's not them, you know like we've Tamer is like forgetting how much she's put us through She's like that it's got a spatch Tamer has that tendency to forget that she's done everything that she's yelling at everybody else for exactly She doesn't see this whole episode. Oh my god. Tamara was really like we were seeing some really like old school Tamara coming through this episode. She is really so ridiculous. Yeah. All right. So let's go start at the beginning of this episode. Yes. Kelly is picking up Shannon in their car. She's wearing these huge diamond glasses and she's getting reservations and she gets them in Kelly style. She's like, Hiya!

They have reservations for Kelly and Shannon but we're all... Oh, you do? You have reservations? You do? Whatever. Whatever. I like that she was like wearing the same sunglasses as Lily Tomlin in Big Business when she dressed up as the maid and started to hand out leaflets around the plots of hotel. I mean, I'm sorry I keep referencing that movie over and over and over again, but just so many things

in Bravo really, really relate to that movie. Yeah, you can tell like the people who run Bravo or are age. Yeah. OK. Yeah. So. Yeah. So then, Shannon thinks it's funny, because... Shannon be door... Kelly and Shannon be door.

Ha! Ha! She... Just go up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up I'm just too young, single woman. Ha! I'm so happy. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, it's so hot. Ha! It's a camera. There's always a comb down. There's always a comb down where she exhausts herself and has to go, ha!

Because the camera's just keep rolling. They're like, just keep rolling to this laughter. Keep rolling. Ha! Ha! Your line's shining, but door. Killed by a great time with Kelly Dodd. He and Los Angeles.

Ha! Ha! Killed by endless sunshine and young people clubs. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, we should really book a gig here for a lock. Wait, is he raw? Ha! So then, Tamer is calling Emily in the car.

She's like, that's that's thatATCH, BATCH! Hello! Head to me BATCH! And Emily announces, I'm going to do a little dinner party and polka! And then, her kid's like in the back seat. She's like, party out the window like a dog. Yeah.

Meanwhile, Vicky's mom is like At the dog So then Gina we see Gina. She's counting bananas, but she's like hey you want to count bananas? Okay, it's one Two five. Okay. Well, maybe math isn't gonna be your thing. Okay. What what what? Oh, and then Vicki's at her office. Uh, my favorite scene of the whole show and they show a close up of BOO! Her grandkids just looking like they're still little helly and you know. Yeah, exactly.

So she tells Linda, I have a birdtapic about every body. I think it's my Bob. I think it's my Bob. And Linda's like, well maybe he just wants food some. But we do everybody I think it's my Bob And then they're like well, maybe he just wants food some you know, maybe it's just he wants with a bro's hungry That's all and Michael says she completely ignores science. Okay, like they're mating mom Like Michael is so Vicki. Yeah, he doesn't know what he's they're mating so they're knocking on your window How does that make any sense? No because it's your reflection of themselves. Oh, so they're knocking on your window. How does that make any sense? No, because it's your reflection of themselves. Oh, so they're master me.

They're just narcissists. Yeah, birds, when birds get horny, they just become huge narcissists, which is perfect for this show. So Vicki is like, I'm always used to say that, like, my dad came back as a bird, so I'm like, so is this your mama's your dad? Who's tapping at your window?

Yeah, well, she said it was my dad, so that's just coming back and replacing my dad came back as a bird so I'm like so is this your mama's your dad who's tapping your window yeah well she said it was my dad so that she's coming back and replacing my dad this is the new bird and let us like nah well first we find him dead in the street okay we find all these birds dead in the street because there's these big glass buildings they fly into them like morons birds idiots I mean what you gonna do you know what that movie the birds you know how they could have fixed it they could have put up you know at that movie the birds you know how they could have fixed it They could have put up some windows in that movie, okay? They all be dead in a second tipy headroom could have walked away happy Hey Alfred Hitchcock, why don't you put some tape on the window?

Huh? Hey Alfred Hitchcock, you know who's a real psycho? You are for not putting up a window and letting those birds attack all those women Linda is my favorite fucking character on this show. I was dying. And then did she notice, she kept touching her temple, like she was hearing something in her head phone because she just wanted to leave. I like that. I like that.

She was a stage manager. And then Vicki's like, I give him food every day, and he won't go away. I'm like, because you're giving him food every day. It's like Brooks. You feed it, and it keeps coming back. It's like every day. It's like Brooks, you know, you feed it and it keeps coming back Every day I Record it and record it and Mike's like there's a ghost in the bird

Check I give food yeah, and then I'll go see she goes the day keeps coming back Google it She goes I need to Google it. I find him dead every day outside all right, then he is Hey, where is Linda living that she's finding just like piles of dead birds? I mean, you should call the CDC at that point. Like, if you see too many dead birds on the street, like, there's a flu going around and it's not going to be good for humans. She's like, yeah, every day, I see like 10 clothes just dead at my doorstep. What do you expect? That's what birds do. They fly into things and die. Idiot birds.

Idiot stupid bird. How about you being elephant? Now that's an animal. So Vicki's like wow Michael, have a view of the office. It's like really? Cause always done is called you stupid like 10 times today. Yeah. So he's about legacy plaid. He's about legacy plaid. I sometimes get the feeling that all Michael does around the office is going to Vicki, Vicki's desk every now and then to press control all to leave for her when she gets confused. Like, hear him, um, okay, I'll be over there. Call me again when your screen locks up. Thank you. She actually says, so many people want to work with me. So many people want to work with me, but I picked him. He's blessed.

I'm sure he would really hard for that position. Yeah. Do you remember when Vicki had a, um, like a insurance seminar on like a cruise or something and like three people showed up? Yeah. I remember when she made her own award up to present herself in her backyard and then fell down. Remember when she got hit in the face with a football and Lake Havasu. Remember when they sent a family bang Remember when she got from cocktail once

Remember when she Remembering Vicki But you got mom It's not your mother Okay, it's a bird. Don't put his back to die. Okay, he's gonna come back and hit that window and die. Good. So, Vicki and Michael are, you know, talking,

well, Michael's trying to ignore Vicki. And she hasn't given him an office as a VP. He just has to sit right outside her office. It's something like makeshift asking. And he's like, well, mom, I have to get a dog sitter for when we go to Europe. It's like, I'm gonna come to Europe. Can I come with you and your girlfriend? He's like a little mom. I have to get a dog sitter for when we go to Europe It's like I'm gonna cut I'm gonna come to Europe. Can I come with you into girlfriend? He's like no Okay, well, it wouldn't be fun for a 30th birthday. She's like, oh, I love 30th birthdays

So we're gonna have a dinner right I'm gonna come right we'll bid up right huh? Yeah, yeah, right? Yeah, right Michael Right Michael right he's like no The craziest part for me of this scene is when you mentioned that um Michael and Brianna are 33 and 32 that's like crazy to me you're throwing their 30s now how is that even possible I feel like Brianna was like just a little baby I know they're both I feel like they're both in high school when this shows are another and they're like 30s. I mean, it's, it's like officially crazy. And it's crazy.

Well, it's crazy, crazy. It's crazy. And also, like, I mean, Gina, they mentioned this last week, but Gina is the same age as Brianna. I guess Brianna is one of those 33. And that's, like, that is kind of crazy that like your daughter is like a fellow housewife essentially, like your daughter could be a housewife.

Well, that's great. Well, you know, it's always been rumored that they're trying to get Brianna to be a housewife, you know? I don't think her husband will ever let her. Yeah, I don't think she'd fit it either. She'd be a poker party. That's stupid.

She'd never go to anything. She'd be like, why don't we just play it on the nap? Thanks, Brianna. Um, so, uh, so Vicki is feeling abandoned by Brianna and Ryan because they, they up and moved off to the East Coast coast to like I think one of the Carolinas or something. So she's basically has empty nest syndrome, which explains why she's always talking about dynamite off. And try this. Empty nest.

It's Richard Mulligan at my window. God, we've had golden girls today empty nest. Nurses is next. You know, we're going to nurses. It's kind of funny because the doctor on nurses did look like the doctor a little bit from last week. Oh God, that doctor in the suit. I didn't trust that doctor. No, I never liked my mom always was upset because there was one episode where he was like, he's like Jewish or something and he was talking about like Judaism, and then he like ordered a ham sandwich at like the cafeteria.

My mom's like, that's disrespectful. Yeah, part time too. It's another part time too. Thanks for all the work you do for the community, Tim. Anyway, so yeah, so Vicki's basically just pestering Michael about marrying Danny, because she's like, we've been love to get married. That's what they love to about marrying Danny because she's like we would love to get married That's what they love to do. They other ones do it in life is to get married. Yeah, it's an energy day. You get married. I got married And then you're just gonna die you're gonna win and just gonna die when I'm talking about the birds anymore Linda

Can I go now? Yeah, let me get out. So next up shaman and Kelly are in LA and shaman is like whoa They're in this like yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah like it out. So next up, Shannon and Kelly are MLA and Shannon is like, whoa. They're in this like hip club. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Hotel, Blossy, and I got boulevard. Yes.

Oh, no. I think I'll have a showpan. A showpan and I. Yeah, that's exciting. Young people love showpan. He's just a crazy rock and roller classical genius And you I'm not sure what the child labor laws are in LA But this bartender was like 12 years old and so he's looking at them like who are the old ladies?

You know it's like preschool and Kelly's like that guy's looking at me I've been Shannon just fully rotates around like 180 degrees to stare Smooth Shannon real smooth And then yeah, Shannon says well, but if you're on a date and then someone kisses you, but then you like someone else Don't you feel guilty? Because like whatever and then they're like laughing. And then there was like a weird satellite glitch cause I was watching on Direct TV. And so it went from them like laughing after this.

Like, and then the screen scrambled for like a millisecond. And when the scrambling goes away from like literally like a like a millisecond, not even a full second. It's all the sun shines just crying. And I was like, wait, what happened? It was so perfect. Like, this is great. Girls, oh, that's so hot.

Being alone, Dad, Kelly. That's pretty much how it happened. She goes, oh, dating. You know, meeting someone at 25 is hard enough, but at my age, it's a graveyard. Here at my Shannon Bedouard, covered in Chopin, dead on a club couch with a teenager teenager looking at her like she's a monster So started me that you show

Well, I feel so lucky the great composer Chopin has appeared in my window Whatever It's like go wait chop in whatever Mozart visiting the other day. I was like, go wait, chop in whatever Mozart visited me the other day and I was like, uh, I wish it was Sally Avery Mmm, that for Abraham would come. He'd be like, hello You're very Sally Avery The best known is that for Abraham. I'm loving to use him from a little class so and I've got an Oscar. Anybody have any questions? He'll be a little cockatuna tweed jacket. He'll be like, oh, fuck, fuck, I'm here. I'm a clucking cockatoo.

I'm a distinguished bird and I'm here to say, hello, Kelly Dodd. Hello, I've got cock in my name. So, yeah, so Shannon, Kelly goes, I think you're in a funk. And Shannon's like, meh! I'm not comfortable with my body. I don't even want to see me. Why would I want to take off my clothes? And she's like, but if you have confidence And then Shannon says my favorite Vanderpump rules line. She's like I'm a catch. I know I'm a catch

I was told so many years I'm fat and we're flushing Screeching Oh, I would and then she hoples off on crutches into the kitchen told so many years from fat and we're flushing. It's great. She. Oh, I would and then she hobbles off on crutches into the kitchen. So I can dip the in. So, um, yeah, I like miss all this. Like it just cut the direct TV just cut all this out. It's got her crying. It was just basically where they're crying and they're both who like they both want partners.

Because now they both are crying. That's where that's where I pick up on it again. It was weird because she says I was told so many years on fat basically And then they cut to the scene from last season where David's sitting at the table and her mom and kids are there and He's like well, maybe that's because you never took the silver spoon out of your mouth Which I think he was talking about her being rich, but I think she just heard the spoon part and just like still mad about Well, technically it was a lolly pop so I would have never checked out.

Are you calling me Fatsing and ever take a spoon out of my mouth? Oh, well, I'll tell you something about a silver spoon is rickie shroder. Oh, and Kelly's like, I've heard all those things too, Shannon. Now listen, Thursday's I cry. Thursday I get depressed. Yeah. I'm going to live I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I living, I living, I living, living, I'm living, I'm living, I living, I living, I'm living, I living, living, living, I living, I'm living, I'm living, I living, I living, I'm living, I living, I. The boss, the boss, David.

Boss. Boss. Wow. It's like Shannon's just shaking her, Kelly's like shaking her like. Boss, I can't stop saying it. Well, who would have thought, the shows you can evolve. I mean, look at the both of us sitting here together. Me, I've got military patches now. Me sitting here together me. I've got military patches now

I've served I've served and I'm a loyal soldier to lock ladies Iraq So they decide their friends, you know, they're officially friends now and then the camera crew leaves like dicks Because they always do this they leave right before it gets. Like we catch them crying and then it turns out the rest of the night they went fucking crazy and got on Snapchat or Instagram or something. We're like, I think you're gonna slow for spoon in the twat. Me shaming. Whatever they were saying, you know, like got on there totally wasted. Oh god. Yeah, I'm so upset. I do feel like sometimes, sometimes I feel like Bravo, why are you not putting up little GoPro's around? Like the bow right from hell,

why are there not tons of little cameras around? So even when the camera crew put down their cameras, it was, cameras were still rolling. We needed to see all of that. Yeah, I agree. Get some more pros, guys. Up your budge. Yeah, speaking of going pro,

more like going and teaking. It's Gina and she's with her friend Tatiana and they're in an antique shop somewhere in Orange County. And I don't know if you noticed it, but there was a cameo from our favorite Orange County mystical creature, Puppy the Buffalo. Oh, I did not notice. Yeah, there was a big old buffalo head and all that was missing was Megan King Edmunds

putting up her child to it and going, puppy, puppy. It's a buffalo. Megan, it's a buffalo. Don't call it a puppy. Puppy buffalo. And four kids going to grow so confused. Very much so. They're going to pass trash, trash receptacles.

She's going to be like, that's where you came from, those were they stored this firm. I'm putting the back seat to drive to the cryo clinic or whatever. So there's a little antique ball and Tatiana's like, oh my god, everything here looks so old. And she's like, yeah, it's called antiques. I love this hutch. Oh my god, I want to get this. Can I put a tag on it? called antiques. I love this hutch. Oh my god, I want to get this. Can I put a tag on it?

Oh my god. You know, it's going to be Miss Lupet's birthday. So I want to get her a present. She's a nanny. And let me tell you, it's a mom and OC. I don't have time for me unless I got Lupet. You know, here's something I'm getting a little sick up with Gina already.

This whole like in you walk, people talk to you like this, but in Orange County, they talk to you like this. I'm like, you know, I've lived in both states long enough to say, that's all just bullshit. I'm sorry, it really is bullshit. And I can't stand when people who are especially people who are like new to California start talking like that, like start saying like, in California, you know, they're faked your face, but in New York, they are so real. I'm like, I have met the biggest people in my life back in New York. Okay. And I met the realest people back here in California. And

both places, I just get so mad. People like, people aren't real. People aren't real. I'm like, well, first of all, you also have chosen to surround yourself with people on the show. Real hospitalized. Yeah, exactly. Like no one can really feel for you, but she does that through the whole show. Where she's like, oh my god, that is so lunch county

and so different from where I, for example, antiques, where I come from, those old people. Here, the dresses. That's me. Antiques in the lunch county are like chairs and plates and antiques and long island are like playbills the cats and the east coast and antique is like your mother's sister okay and here is like old stuff here on the west coast and the antique is like a hutch, which I love, but on the east coast and antique is like, you know, it's like a box of burrillo pasta that you found in your

cupboard. And you're like, oh my god, I still have this. It's like you've been here. So she's looking for a gift and she finds an old antique ugly ass dress. It looks like a modern OC dress. I think it's like a zebra print or something, but it's from 100 years ago apparently.

So that's what she's getting for looping. Hey, if you really love your nanny, get her a massage and some money. Okay, not a fucking worn dress. Or like get her like a new nice dress. Like I know it's quote unquote vintage, but I feel like I want to buy antiques from antiques toers, not dresses from antiques toers.

That may be totally ignorant, but that's just my gut. Yeah, gut dressers age well, BO doesn't. Okay. BO can be reactivated at any time. And nobody needs BO from 100 years ago. No, definitely not, especially not 100 years ago

in Orange County. God knows what that was like. Yeah, definitely not. Especially not 100 years going to Orange County. God knows what that was like. Yeah, so Gina really loves Tatiana. She tells her, I love you. Not more than Gwaka Moli, but as much as chips and salsa. That's so Orange County what I just said right there. She's like, yeah, I like Tatiana because she's from New York. So she gets me.

So we like understand each other when that level is like, okay, okay. And then Tatiana agrees. She's like, yeah, like we had an instant bond. Can you not judge me? Like everyone here is constantly judging me, that constantly. I'm like, okay, you two now, why don't you just sit here and judge how judgmental everybody is and talk about what a bitch Vicki is.

Because that's where we're going. Exactly. Yeah. Orange County girls, I feel like I'm not willing to look silly and be silly and have fun and be authentic. I'm like, do you remember how the de Bro, you know where she's from? Chapacorn New York, OK?

So never forget. Yeah. So Gina tells us back home, we make fun of each other. Like, when are my friends back home? Has a weird vagina. I'm like, it's extra lippy okay and she lasts all the time but imagine me making fun of Shannon Bedouard's vagina how would that go over? Yeah, she's like could you imagine if I made fun of Shannon Bedouard's vagina I'm like

actually I can't imagine you're doing that and you're right I wouldn't go over well but by the way you make a fun of your friends vagina is still you judging her. Sorry, she may laugh, but you're still judging her lip of vagina. Yeah, I think it goes past the point of judging your friends vagina and to the point of your friends show each other, each other's vaginas. It would be weird for you to comment on channel and widowers vagina because it would be weird for her

to like whip out her vagina for you. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't mind here. My thing is that like everyone's judgmental and so I hate when people like oh my god Someone's so this of judgmental they're not real. I'm like no that's bullshit because everyone's judgmental And it's actually I feel like you're more real when you are judgmental. Thank you, Ben Yeah, we're the realists of the real. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crack. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah So over at California Fitness which you might notice has the same slash through it that cut fitness does which is a little bit Who came first? The cut for the cow. Yeah, no So Shannon Shannon walks into this place. California Home Fitness is a place where they sell fitness equipment and Shannon walks and she's like, I just heard exercising like five minutes ago and I'm already pooped. I hate this.

What am I doing here? Where's the salads? The guys like, well, what do you want? She's like, no, I don't like anything. And so something they can just do everything. I don't want to go like a flex. Is there something like a David flex? So apparently David took Shannon's bike when they separated,

which is so obnoxious. I mean, she hated the bike anyway, but I would have been happier if she just gave it to someone else. Then I think David taking back the bike is like, I don't know hate that. Yeah such a dick move of course. Yeah. I don't care because it's a hurt your vagina. Ha! Hopefully no one will ever make fun of me for saying that. No one in my immediate circle, no one who's perhaps from the East Coast. Ha! Ha! My extra sensitive lip evagina. Tamer rolls in on her scooter thing and she's like, look, I'm here to support her about she's buying the equipment that she's never even gonna use. She could come to cut fitness for free.

I'm like already one of you has a broken ankle, okay? She doesn't need to be going in there on your uneven ass floors fixing. Yeah, exactly. With your shelves, I have no merch on them. No. So, Tamis, I can't believe you're at Wicked Batch. Like, what the hell? You're in a lullaby with Cudod? Like, what the hell? Batch. Yeah. It's like a top-of-the-sauck clip of you snapping. And I don't know if that's really wise to be out with Kelly snapping pictures because West said like I want you to be more focused. Yeah, I love Tamra getting jealous.

That's a good, that's a good, good place for Tamra to be in for this show because now she's bullcaused so much hell. Yes, and she's even self-aware to know. She's self-aware right now, which is odd for Tamra. Yeah. I think I'm just tell us. Because I care I am, like, waiting up. It's like 12.30 and all answer the phone for Shaman.

But then, Ere has this thing she doesn't even call Ere. Do you see how he gets in? If you can call Ere. If you can call, you don't call Ere. And because they have this, well, first, because Tamara is doing this whole, you know, she's like, well I was there for you, for your divorce and you went off to Caledade and like it didn't even, come with me and I'm on like, I have a wheel, so my knee, like that's not cool.

And she's like, okay, sorry. And then Chandra starts crying and she's like, I have so many amazing things happening in my life right now. I have to pinch myself because I've got so many, I'm like, you were bawling, you're sobbing right now I have to pinch myself 30 to 40 negative pinches on my elbow I was feel for Shannon that

After met chath a habit of just focusing on herself And then you know we get a clip of her telling Shannon that she didn't call what even Vicki called. And Shannon said he's surgery. Where? Oh, so are we! Uh, David. David?

I'm like, and she does- It might have been a- it might have been an emotional day for me, I'm sorry. Did I want to call? Yes. Did I? No. Was it emotional? Yes. can I help it? No? Do I love Chopin? Yes! The music? Yes! The vodka also yes!

Tino? Do I like eat? Do I like eat? More than Chopin? Yes! Do I like putting cream cheese in the middle of a Sam edition calling it healthy. You. Do you hate Eddie? Yeah, I mean, no. No. So Tamra is convinced that the reason she's not checking on Eddie is because Eddie and David are friends, which I don't believe that for a second, by the way, that's just Tamra trying to whip up some trouble. Yeah, because she would still call Tamra. I think she was just probably.

Yeah, I think I'm just husband Tamer's husband having a heart procedure. Of course she'll call up. Yeah. So Tamer's like, yeah, Tamer's basically like, well, Shannon, you shouldn't be getting drunk with Kelly. Like you shouldn't be doing it. And she's like, huh, last time I checked, I wasn't the one in a boot on wheels because I got you wrong and make it.

And makes it go, huh? like at your own and make it and make it go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha party plan her and the daytime Shane does nothing and the light time he does nothing too it's amazing we're like superheroes can I tell you something I would not feel comfortable knowing that my lawyer is also a party planner and I would not feel comfortable with my party if I found out my party plan it was also a lawyer just saying I feel comfortable knowing my party planner or my lawyer had a chocolate fountain. I would be like, your honor, I object. And also, we have this lovely caregiver. Give package for you. Thank you for coming to this court. We decided to put some decorations, put a centerpiece right there on the stand. Yeah. And Emily's sister, Sh Cherine's helping out her sister, Lase. Oh my God. I'm going to fuck up. I think, oh, geez, there's always that squeaky voice

on Orange County always always find a way to get that voice back in here. And Emily is stealing storylines. So if Shane is stealing from Craig, Emily is stealing from classic Marge because you got to eat a Coyote number one Jody number two they're both gonna help you out Jody number one. She'll heat up your macaroni. That's how you need I'm sorry everyone that with the with blowing my nose. I thought I was hitting my mute button and I hit the stop button So I blew my nose and stopped and stopped recording. Yes, but the recording went again. So we got the classic march. I'm so sorry everybody It's okay. I actually am back. I'm recording a backup. So if it means Jesus I can I can give you a pristine copy which has the full unabridged

Joke involving classic march them for everyone's been dying to hear I was like, oh look I'm gonna blow my nose and press this meat back. Man, it was a recording pen! Oh, shut the fuck up! What about... Did you do that because you hit Eddie Betch? Did you stop there, cuz you hit Eddie? What kind of life doesn't even make sure her oven's working?

That's how much I cook. Oh! It also shows how bad a party plan are you are. I'm a planner. planner planner part of it. Yeah, so she let's see So she can just borrow her sisters having across the street Unfortunately, her sister is not Shoshana from plastic emergency So Shana dentistry Shoshana Jody and the one can you get to some Shoshana's house? It's a casserole Yeah, Shoshana's like But one Can you get to Shashana's house? It's a castle

Yeah, Shashana's like, of course you can bear my outside That's just like a little parade of Shashana's walking down the street with cover matches, you know Shashana and Shari, they're basically two halves at the same coin You can find at the end of the show up Shashana and Shari's So then, so Kelly goes over to Shashana's place to pick her up and Shannon's like ha check it out my new novel to outfit you to poker up it huh We're together that's why I got it from a little place called

the internet ah The information super highway I just had to drive the highway often until I realize it goes right by the beach and I often would think of David and the girl in the beach and be like Ha! Not gonna take this road anymore, no! Could take the information, back road, instead! Ha! Huh. Dark web, oh no! Ha!

What's this dark web? Ha! That's right, I got the hole in my spanks! Ha! Ha! What? Huh? That's right, I got the hole in my spanks. Waaaaah! Waaaaah! Vicky Gumbleton put me in the dark web. See information, Tarkalli? This? This way?

This is from the dark web. I got this suit, but also my social security number was stolen! AAAAAAAA! How was that? It's nice to have someone pay attention to me. Huh? I've started dating someone named 3QZV and his face is a Venetian mask. Very nice man.

Oh, okay, so we get close up of this chocolate fountain and I just wrote that's just sad. Like a party planner still putting out a chocolate fountain. Is that, I thought Katie from Vanderbrol, I thought that was sad, but this makes me even sadder. Well, can I take your sadness and make it, can I add to the sadness because I saw that chocolate fondue thing, that chocolate fountain and I thought it made me think to last week when I was on the cruise ship and I saw a waiter pushing a chocolate fountain and I thought it made me think to last week when I was on the cruise ship and I saw a waiter pushing a chocolate fountain

yonder and I was like, where is that chocolate fountain going and how can I get to it and I never found it? Oh, that is sad because you know if I saw one I'd put my mouth right on it. Oh yeah, I'm like throwing pennies into it, I'm like stomping, making splashes and you know. Yeah, I judge it, you know, for being an old-ass party trick, but I would still drink from it, okay? Yeah, I love the idea of a chocolate fountain. Let's go get a chocolate fountain. Oh my god, yeah, I've totally changed my mind. Hipper Grat? Okay, so Kelly comes in and she's like, it's prettier! Whoa! It's nice! I like it! Hi!

My Kelly is slowly turning into Shannon meets Leah Black, but that's fine. Mine is Kristen meets Tinsley. Mine has always been me copying Amy Phillips, by the way. She does the best one, and then I just copy hers, so mine's not even original. Mine is me copying both two things of myself which are both bad impressions so there you go it's like a big it's a big mess it's a big copy mess okay so yeah Kelly and Shannon come in and Shannon's like well well I think it's very pretty but I can't see what these sunglasses poker it's about going big or going home and I'm going big pop pop pop poker face pop pop poker face I'm bluffing with my muffin oh that sounds

delicious I'm muffin do we have any muffins here and can someone get me a stick so I can shove in that fountain can't can't read my can't read my can't read my poker face David David I read it oh god he wrote my poker face huh turns out I don't have one poker face rararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar Why would you say with me can't even be the right guy? So Emily intro serena. She's just fire. I'm we just never spiraling everywhere. I know she's having a breakdown of every see that we put her in I mean while I'm over here. This is Nordic not blowing Great. I'm coughing great episode guys. Thank you for joining today So they introduce everybody and introduce people to Perry her little tiny she goes I think that's my mother-in-law.

And I was like, you can tell because it's like a little tiny shadow outside the door, you know? You can tell because it's basically like awake with two feet, you know? It's like, so basically, yeah, Perry, Perry comes in and I'm like, Perry is 73 and can rock leather pants and stilettos, like nobody's business. I'm like, mm-hmm. I'm all for, you know, pushing back on like what you should be wearing when you're older,

but that doesn't mean that she necessarily pulls it off. If you ask me. I think she looked better than anybody else there at this type of party. I'll tell you who she looks better than though. Remember that awful mom from marriage medicine Houston? He was like look at me. I'm so funny.

Oh yes. The worst. Yes. Yeah, I'm liking Perry so far. I like Perry. I'm just saying like the look was a bit much for me. Yeah. She's like leather.

I like her little voice because she talked like this, right? She's so sweet she's like 30 but then really maternal I can't wait till Kelly yells at her because they're becoming friends So you know Perry's gonna do something that makes Kelly mad It's gonna be a fuck you Perry y'all You think you're so nice Perry you think you're so nice You're not you're not you've you've been the biggest letdown to me ever, Perry. I thought her name was Perry, but it's Perry.

What? Oh. So then Gina is the only one who doesn't read the doorbell instead. She's like, knock, knock, I don't read because I'm from Long Island. That's what we do. We actually don't have doorbells there. We just knock, knock, knock, knock, knock until someone shows up. It's great. Yeah.

So there's a caterer and they get served dinner and tamara by the way, I have to say tamara comes rolling in and like black pleather pants. You know what I take it all back about Perry because because tamara really takes the cake with her look. They're her like motor scooter outfit. Yeah. with her look. They're her like motor scooter outfit. Yeah. Um, also, do you think that Tamara is like hurting herself? Like one of those mothers who wants to be sicker than their child? Because I think it's weird that Eddie has this thing. And then Tamara now has to be taken care of too. Hmm, hmm. I don't really think that it just popped in my head

right now. Because I was reading a bunch of thousands article earlier. Yeah. She's like lame chowsons, bet chowsons, how much chowsons Bob Croxack? I'm a betch by proxy, betch. I have betch chowsons, but Ed's ski. Yeah. Doesn't make sense. But then skip Bob Croxack.

So they come in and Tamra is, you know, her slide batch ass. She's like, oh my god, this neighborhood. I've never been here. Yeah, how do they call it? She's like, where are we? Your house is beautiful. I love it. What is it?

It's called Ocean Ranch. I haven't seen a ranch, I haven't seen Ocean. She's called Lies. Lies, house of lies. How about we call it, you don't live in our county bats? How about we call it, this used to be my black ground, bats. And then Emily's like, well, I hope you guys like Blackjack. And she says, oh God, I'm not blackjack. My ex would go to sleep and I'd go tell him I'd play all night.

God, this guy's sad, right? This guy's sad. I got real sad, real quick. Don I play all the time. God, this guy's sad, right? This guy's sad. I got real sad real quick. Huh. Don't bet against the house. The house always wins and yet somehow I don't have the house anymore. Huh. I'm spiraling like a marshmallow on a stick. Stack under a chocolate fountain. Oh, that leaves you. The only reason why I like Blackjack so much is because the king is the only one who would look at me kind later on that time

So Vicky or Roshy's like woohoo woohoo. They're coming. Okay. I had to be Vicky so she goes up to her friends who are Tamra and Shannon at this point and she does that thing where she kind of whisper talks because she wants to make sure everybody knows that She's really just friends with them, them you know she's like oh my god what did you get this thing what did you get this suit you are the cost to quit shetting what did you get it what did you get information super high-light why do you bring that up I can't go there anymore He already has my credit card and for me should even give it to him. And she's like, oh my god, look at her, she looks gangster. I can't believe you have a chef in shit, you're like gangster. Whoa.

So all the ladies start looking at the other side now. She's a mini Ramona and you've turned Emily into goofy. Yeah, well Emily really is going to to goofy like if you listen to her She does going to talk like they are Like it's a work in progress guys. I know it's episode five, but it's gonna be a biggie Biggie has some Donald duck tendencies if you really think about it Down dexabird I think it was Bobob. Oh good.

Okay, so then Kelly breaks the tension. If there's any tension there, it seems like maybe. Oh yeah, because Kelly, yeah, I think I don't know who knows. Kelly breaks the tension if there's any tension there it seems like maybe oh yeah his Kelly yeah I think I don't know who knows so Kelly goes so I got out so I got from the Houston Rock of Sinea and there's like oh you have boyfriend now to have a shit load babe and Vicki Vicki of course she this drives her nuts because she only take away from her argument with Kelly is that she thinks Kelly's mad that Michael's dating someone and yet Vicky sees the whole things that she's being hypocritp because she's dating people, which is not what Kelly's

mad about, but that's what Vicky thinks. So the more Kelly talks about the guy she dates, the more upset it makes Vicky. And the way she does, the way she shows that she's upset and she starts doing these like short abrupt head shakes as if she has like a fly on her nose but she doesn't want to touch it she's just like to a little little shake like no I don't I don't I don't I don't it's your mental funnel duck like a The little head twitchy she does and she's laughing. So then we learn about the fate of the doctor from last week. So apparently he wouldn't buy Kelly's sunglasses. She picked out some sunglasses and he picked out the exact same sunglasses, but then she wouldn't buy her the sunglasses.

And she's like, I bought you a $700 dinner. No, I don't want you to be cheap. No. I don't subscribe to cheap. And then Tamra says he's too old for you. Anyway, Batch. Check, he's not down there. Look at her.

Scrowtax, Sc screw attacks, that's. Dicks look old always. So by the time we get old, you know, we catch up to our dicks. So I guess they look normal. Yeah. Exactly. So, yes, they're talking about those doctors, balls and like, they're smooth. But I know they're like talking about screw talks. And Perry is basically masturbating in her chair. Oh, yes. Oh Yes, oh yes Oh, screw talks So, dam right who just wants to keep the piece is like Southern Zero champs have you and Michael getting back together?

That's and sick it's funny. Say that because today I was in the shower and I was like this guys are freaking fucked the shower and I was like these guys are freaking fucked. Very says, Dindwey, would you divorce him, Dind? Did he not think his bar? She said, cause I'm stupid, that's why. Will he see with someone? Yeah, he's with, he's with, he's with, because Vicki, Vicki hooked him up with someone else. Vicki's like, oh, we're gonna go there again.

We can start that, you, we can start that, drop it, drop it, drop it someone else. Mickey's like, oh, we're gonna go there again. No, no, no, no, no Why are you getting defensive? Why? Who? Who? You defensive? Whoa. Because like, wait, are you getting defensive? I'm not getting defensive. I'm not getting defensive. I'm defensive. You're defensive. You're defensive. Detective Michael Navi. Detective Michael Navi. Do you have a mouth? You very upset because of that. I'm always start this holding. When you say this is ridiculous, this is where my blood starts to boil and be okay Them boil it see what I care. I don't have to blood blood. I don't care. You did I don't care. I'm out

I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm just telling you now if you boy your blood Did you get a boy kidney so come on to me? Okay? Go to Michael. Come Michael. Um, I I actually have an update I said my blood was boiling it was actually my hot update. I said my blood was boiling. It was actually my hot chocolate. I apologize. If anyone needs me, I'll be by the Swiss mix. Did you catch when Stanna said my favorite oil? If I heard my friend said, I'd be glib it and think he goes, well, David made you miserable. So there you go. No, no, she said, I would never. I would never because he didn't treat you well. He didn't put a tie. Thank you. I was like, how does she not get punched in the face for saying that?

Thank you for clarifying. She says that, but the implication is that Michael was good to Kelly, which I'm not sure about that. So then meanwhile, Gina's like, I'm starting to wonder if this is the way friendships and relationships play out here in Orange County on Long Island. This shit would never fly. Yeah. And then she, but then she tells Kelly, you know, sometimes friends fuck up and they say sorry.

And that's what she said. She said sorry. And because like, okay, Kelly, have you ever hurt me? Have you ever hurt me? I'm like, no! I have it! I'm always there for you! It's constant with you!

Your constant let down to me. It's constant Constance you've never been there for me So she's sobbing again and Tamer's like okay, how come I fix that? How come I fix that let's pretend yeah, it is hot. Let's fix this. Let's fix that You can have said the doctor for four day batch so V Vicki's like, yeah, how do we fix it? How do we fix it? I'm sorry, because I don't would be like that to my fat because I love my fat.

I don't want to be like that to my fat. I don't fix it. And Kelly's like, you know what? I just think we need to not talk about it anymore, which is hilarious because Kelly brings it up like every time. Yeah, exactly. So Shannon's like, well, since we're not going to be talking about that anymore, I have some great news. QVC likes my frozen food. We're going forward to Philadelphia, which is great because I'm hoping to find some cream cheese.

Oh, that's great because I'm a consumer. Not going to East Coast, we get QVC. And I'm about to get this teaching my kid how to how to campaign and it's really working out. It's really working out for us. Kelly's like, oh, I'm really proud of you. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. I'm more proud of you. I've never seen career Shannon, because she's never worked since I've known her.

She loves to cook, make her recipes, she's just going to Philadelphia. It's going to be great. Soon as poker time. Poker time. Kelly, so my motto is if you're not cheating, you're not trying. Oh my God, that is like the realest thing you've ever said. That is like so long Island right now.

Oh my God. Okay, so Gina is wasted now and then they just keep bringing her shots and she starts squealing Yeah, she never stops She's like I'm having so much fun like dinner was boring. Let's be honest dinner was boring But this is great. This is a fun time poker fun dinner boring fun did a boring Look she starts doing the squeal thing and the poker instructors teaching them how to play poker and he's like look if you have two fives If I have two five center of the table right everybody has two fives, okay, and she go ever you share these Yeah, you share these and Kelly goes like STD's

And she miss squeals and she's like Like STDs, don't. And she missed sque shots and she's the only one who does her whole shot and everyone just sips their shots. So she's like, you all pusses. Just a whole bunch of pusses over here. And you know what I'm saying? Hey, is there any way you have a lippy vagina? Let's just be honest, okay?

Because we have some real fun with that. Pusses. Janon. Janon's the drunk she can't even say pusser at. Pusses. Pusses. Pusses. So then Emily's like, well, let me tell you about poker face whoever has the most

Botox has the best poker face and she's like ah not fair because you guys have so many procedures like seriously not fair okay it's not fair like here right now with my original face like this isn't right this isn't fair and I was like oh my god this lady is gonna be the first lady that Shannon whips out a rolling pin and beats over the head like I'm so here for this yeah because Shannon just gives you this look Shannon's just sitting there in her in her poker jacket just give me a look like I start charities I'm just repeating what they said. It's a circle of life. It's like I can't help.

I can't help but just say it. It's isn't my fucking plate. Yeah, when you get a chance, you got to do it. You got to take it, guys. This isn't my fucking face, you bitch. There we go. And I'm like, I'm just repeating what you said. I'm just repeating what they said.

It's a circle of life. It's like I can't help. I can't help but just say it. It's isn't my fucking plate. Yeah, when you get a chance, you got to do it. You got to take it, guys. This isn't my fucking face, you bitch. There we go.

And I'm like, I'm just repeating what they said. I'm just repeating what they said. It's a circle of life. It's like I can't help. I can't help but just say it. It's isn't my fucking plate. Yeah, when you get a chance, you gotta do it. You gotta take it, guys. This isn't my fucking face, you bitch. There we go. And Emily says, okay, it's 34-year-old. And this way to your 40, and you'll see, you'll see.

And then she needs to start squealing again and Vicki goes, like, can we talk a library voice? Okay, library voice. A, you've never been to a library. And B, you're the screamer here, lady. Yeah. Have you seen your show? Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever heard of this lady called Vicki Gumbelson? Vicki Gumbelson? Don't you remember the original Bunko Knight? Do you remember that? So, um, anyway, so Tamara decides that she's had enough. And so she summons Vicki and Shen into the backyard. She's like, come on, let's go. Come on, roll me out there.

Okay, grab. So, they go out there and she's like, how do we fix the batch things between Vicki, Batch and Kelly Batch? What do we do? I already told her, I already told her. She would say she would take my sorry. This is where I could do. And Shen was like, wow, she has a history video. I already told her. I already told her. She wants to say she would take my sorry.

This is where I could do. And she's like, well, she has a history of apologizing in a vicky way, which is to be vicky as she vicky's her way all over the situation. That's all I'll say about that. So Kelly comes out and thinks like, OK, Kelly, I had to say what you heard. I'm so sorry. And you're my friend. And I was, okay, I had to say what you heard I'm so sorry and you're my friend and I was a dude around me. It says

Fikki Vicki, oh you're a bitch face. Okay, so I think you're fault that you're husband is dating dude right? And Kelly like I just want to have my I just want you to have my back. I'm a simple girl I just want you to have my back and some sunglasses simple girl I just want you to have my back and some sunglasses And Gina is stuck in there with the sister because everybody else has left Well like Serena stuck with Gina because Gina's like you know what's funny about polka Polka it's like you could put one in a fireplace But it's also a game if I thought about that she means like I want to be with the cool girls Yeah, so then back outside it's like I know what you're with you because I've been through it twice You, I'll call you more is that what you want to hear? I'll call you more

I promise I'll call you more and then Perry's like I would call you if she doesn't call you give me your number Yeah, oh and poor Kelly this up this actually made me sad she's like you You didn't like me to your house for Thanksgiving You let him Michael, but not me Yeah, that's pretty shitty. That is shitty. And so Vicki was like, well, Michael said you're going to the Bad Boat Bay Club.

She's like, I didn't. But with a whole bunch of people, she's like, what was your need? And I thought, that's sad. It's also like fucked up, though. If Michael told Vicki, like, oh, no, Kelly has all sorts of plans. And then Vicki didn't invite her Thanksgiving.

Because I actually, I think Vicki would have invited Kelly to Thanksgiving. I actually honestly do think that. Well, we don't know when he said that because he could have said that at dinner. Vicki could have been like, well, what's Kelly doing? He's like, oh, she's at the Balboa Club with the kid or whatever. But that sort of sad, Kelly and Jolie had to spend it together just at this club.

That's a daughter of basically. Yeah, Vicki is consistently an asshole, so that helps. What am I saying? So, Paris just starts talking to Kelly. She's like, you're my daughter now. You're my daughter. I'm putting you in an old folk's home. Best Kelly story of life ever when she was trying to cast like her mom into the old folks.

She doesn't even know what she's talking about. Listen to her. She has accidents five times a day. She's shining now. You are. Then I didn't write a whole lot down for this because it's Tamer and Eddie and this heart thing. And like I feel for your heart thing, I do not really want to see it on TV and also I think it's kind of gross that Tamar is recording every fucking second of Eddie like let the guy be he obviously doesn't want to be doing

this you know well I think the thing that was funny about it is that this you know this poor guy like you know he's it's like scary and it's and he's like nervous because it didn't work like the first or second time whatever and then he's like going in and He just wants to be fixed and you have your wife in the back seat You like guess what that's a black cat. Yeah, and then I walked under a ladder and then guess what this morning I broke Marys Anyway, you can have a great procedure great procedure. It's like Way to go, you know, and like everything is like you're quiet. Are you okay? I nervous? I nervous nervous I never see you can I write that batch you that you're about to die

You're about to die had he feel and he's like oh it would be nice if I could stop thinking about it shrug But you keep bringing it up. She's like well, you know what? I don't really have to pay much because I'm timmer But now I'm testing my faith cuz I don't understand why all this is happening to me I'm like do you ever watch the news? Yeah, God is not just all about you and you're fucking problems camera, okay? because I don't understand why all this is happening to me. I'm like, do you ever watch the news? Yeah. God is not just all about you and you're fucking problem, Stammer, okay?

Yeah. And also when he says, basically, I'm trying not to think about it, but you keep bringing it up. She then continues to talk about it. She's like, I think it's gonna work this time. I think it's a great procedure. Anyway, so that black cat, right? Bad luck.

Sorry about that. Oh, and he just looks like he wants to jump out of the car and then I'll play back. Yeah. So then we go over to Emily's house, where she's she's with her kids were wild as usual. And Shane is just sitting there just staring at her like, and he's see thing. He just like, he hates her. I mean, I think it's very obvious, right? I think he hates everything and everybody yet he's still like jealous his hair and gets his teeth

white and to come on TV. There's something untrustworthy about this guy. I really don't like him. And especially after this scene, she's like, OK, Shane. Because you know, he's waiting for the cameras to show up so they can have this confrontation. Because she goes, OK, Shane. So I guess Gina was loud on the way out last

night. He's like, um, annoyingly loud. Yeah, because basically everyone left the party, but Gina stayed behind because she is that sort of person. She's like, oh my god, I'm never gonna leave. I love it here. I'm gonna let's play poker all night long. I love it. You want to talk about the antique? So when I'm teaking with Tatiana, it was awesome. And uh, but my daughter was awake and my husband, you know, had had it. And so he yelled down to get out. And so it cuts back to that. But she goes, well, she, she's from New York and is, I don't care. So if I go to New York, I'm going to see a lot of, a lot of noxious women. Yeah. She tells a sheen who's very opinionated all day. Every day. Every second.

I'm like, yeah, you can be opinionated. You could also have manners. You know, if you have a guest who's there too long, you just go down. First of all, go downstairs. How about that and just say, hey Gina, it's so wonderful that you're here, but you know that we got with the kids to sleep. So thank you for coming. Want me to call you an Uber.

That's what you do. You don't yell down. You shut the fuck up, you bitch. Stop cruising around my kid. You know, like, because he's like, oh, she was loud using bad language. It was drunk. Like excuse me. Madam, you know, like there are ways to handle it.

And and and Gina texted Emily the next day. I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, I've got small kids. He's like, I don't understand what that's to do with anything. And she's like, no, she's, I'm like, she's saying that she understands why you were frustrated. And he's like, loud group of women, that's not my cup of tea, particularly loud, cackling older women, is not my cup of tea. I'm like, you know what's not my cup of tea? You're misogyny. So what I don't like is husbands with bleach teeth who don't have jobs and live off their wife. So how about fix that, sir? Yeah, how about take the bar? How about take the bar before you kick people out of your bar? So why do we have to put up with Eddie and Tamara

for the last scene? Why is this the last scene? Come on, Orange County. I know. So Eddie comes out of the doctor and the procedure didn't work. So they're driving back and she's like, all right, batch. I've got some bad batch news here. So you have to go on a drug, but the thing is the drug might give you a heart attack. So you have to be in the hospital for four days while you're on the drug.

And then after that, I'm going to shock you again. So I think it's gonna work because I got pay thing. God. He's like, oh, and he's like so mad. And then she's in his hospital room filming things on her phone. She wanted to see what camera. She wanted to see what an irregular heartbeat was. No, she just wanted to put it on Instagram to be like, out of the sack. So then they're back home and they're in the kitchen. And she's like, you want a second opinion? What do you want to do? You want me to call this guy in San Francisco? He's a cardiologist.

And Eddie, at this point Eddie's frustrated, he's not even making sense because she's saying she would call this cardiologist. And he's like, you can have the best divorce lawyer in the world. It's not going to help my criminal create a case. And she's like, what is that man? He's like, bum, bum.

You ever heard of law and order? Guess not. He's like in the criminal justice system, there's cardiologists and personal trainers. But she tells us his breaking. It's easier to deal with things when you have God, but he doesn't have God. So it's hard for him.

Oh my God, damn, oh God. And then she's, she's like, I get you that you're fresh right, but don't take it out on me. And he's like, well, and don't ask dumb questions. I was like, oh, well, Simon has returned. And also, you know what I blame this all on? The Gretchen Rossi clock in the background, because did you notice? She has Gretchen's giant clock.

And Gina has a two. That's Gretchen's evil eye looking over this house Tamra staged everything but she didn't get rid of that big clock And that brings us to the end of real housewives of wounds can everybody And yeah, we will be back tomorrow with We will be back tomorrow with the low-dick Mediterranean. Let me time go get tickets for live show West Palm Beach next week and Atlanta next week, two shows. So come on and visit us guys, we sure love you. Sounds good.

Talk to you next time. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.