Watch What Crappens - RHOC: The Return of Fancy Pants

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Real Housewives of Orange Country returns for season 16 with Heather DuBrow and two new castmembers in toe. Will the show come back to its former glory? Time will tell, but things are looking up. This week's bonus is a recap of Netflix' Selling Sunset, coming this Thursday afternoon. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and get tickets for our Winter Tour at https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello, and welcome to WaterwhatGrabbs! And podcasts for all that crap we just love to talk about on ye old profs. Okay, I'm Ronnie, guess what I'm with. He's young, his handsome, about to be older, year older.

Okay, get a little spanking. His name is Ben, hi Ben. How are you, honey? Here, honey. What's up? How is the last year of being only 40? Oh gosh, I you know, I wouldn't know because I'm really only 35 so I can only imagine what 40 must feel like, right? God to be a millennial. God, how lucky am I? Yeah, everybody, welcome to the show. Today, we're very excited because it's a crap and it's on demand day.

And it's also the return of Real Housewives of Orange County with fancy pants. Head to Dubrow. How claw hands! Oh, claw hands, yourself. Talks with claw hands. So, that's back. And it was actually pretty good, I thought. Oh, my God, it was real. I was like, no, it wasn't just pretty good. And I thought it was actually a really good spell. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. Oh my God it was real I was like no it wasn't just pretty good and I thought it was actually a really good spell. It was a R E A L L Y. Oh really.

Oh really. It was pretty shockingly good. So we're gonna get to that in the meantime. Like I said, Crapins on Demand, if you want them, go join up. We're also starting premium bonus episodes of Selling Sunset this this week season four of Netflix's goldish show. So that'll be coming. Go get on Patreon for that. Okay, if you want the link to Patreon go to watch it crap and it's.com. That's where you'll find links for our live tickets for our live shows. Well, not live tickets, but tickets for our live show. Our tickets come alive. Our Hunky Dory Tour starts on January 26th this in New York City. We're very excited. We're going to

21 places. We're also going to be in Boston that week. We're going to be in New Jersey. We're going all over. So just come itch, damn tickets. Okay, but more you buy the Leswee bag. See how that works. We also have some pretty cool guests that are hopefully no fingers crossed. Yes, have some cool guests and not just at the crappies For those of you who Sorry, I started looking at band in my camera. I was like look at bail he looks handsome today. I forgot what I was gonna talk about that Fresh orange county glow about me today. That's all. We're gonna talk about crap is on the And that everybody is getting sucked out already talked about all that. Okay, everybody who cares, just welcome to the show. Oh, yeah, for those of you who only listen to Orange County, nothing else. First of all, shame on you.

Second of all, we do a show on Monday nights now on the Green Room app, which is by Spotify, but it's an app called Green Room. And it's a live audio show. We get on there. We just talk crap. It's not a recap show. We talk crap with you guys. And you guys talk crap with each other. And it's a really fun time. It's a party every Monday night, 7 p.m. Pacific

10 p.m. Eastern. Just get the green room app and follow at Ben Madelker and at Ronnie Caram or sometimes I show up as at take a seat. Whatever you can find us and join us for that. Super fun. And thanks to everybody who's been coming because I didn't know that it was going to be that fun. I thought it would be like to ride it, whatever, you know, but we're really having a great time. I look forward to that. So crack open a can of wine and joy that's won't you? It's a very fun way to start the week. And well, I have a strong feeling. We will probably talk about this Orange County premiere on Monday. We did definitely talk this week about like what people were thinking about,

where people excited, we've talked about the trailer. So for sure, like obviously we're gonna talk about a lot of things on this episode, but whatever we don't cover or things you wanna chime in on, you know, that's what's so great about Green Rim is that we sort of cover all that stuff there. So that being said, I have to say that the return of Heather DeBro was much more enjoyable to me than I ever thought it would be.

That was me doing my Heather DeBro claw hands because well, we have a lot of like we have a lot of old references to Heather DeBro that have been sitting on the shelf that we get to dust off. And one of them is that when Heather talks, when she gets angry, she takes out her little hands and she makes two little claws and she talks alternating with them with every syllable. That's how she gets angry. And I'm really excited for a season of claw hands and Heather to grow getting angry with them. Yeah, she's like, does a Mr. Miyagi trying to catch flies with her finger thing when she talks.

That's what it was. She built her mall house finally. That's like her big story, you know, because she wanted a house, I mean, apparently, that just looks like a giant mall, because that's pretty much what she built. It's like kind of a high-end mall in Vegas. Yeah. So she got that. And we start off kind of old school, really, just with a really long scene of the wives,

you know, each in their home, each in their homes, and we hear a slow-hor music version of Real Housewives, it's like, dun. I'm so rich, I'm so fucking rich. Heather is the biggest braggart out of any, I think out of any house so I've ever including Erica Dream. I include Erica Dream and that. She's always made me just fucking crazy. And here she is with her gold shoes and her gold purse. Bucking down a huge hallway, thinking she looks really like amazing and rich,

which she does look really rich, but all I hear is, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come And it plays the creepy hats, Orange County music with those bells. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. And she's walking through and in the trailer they play her tag lines of the past. And then it goes into the trailer. But here we hear the bells. And then they just sort of fade away. And then it's just the ambient sound of that giant empty house. And her clomp clomp clomp clomp.

Yes. And your comparison to a Las Vegas mall is So on point because if this is not just a mall house This is a Vegas mall house because when you go to Vegas malls They're like large and airy and no one's really there because everyone's doing something more fun, right? And so like everyone's out of casino and that's what what it felt like. I felt like just walking through. And there was like maybe three people there and lots of people standing in stores

waiting for customers to come in. Yeah, it's like you can just smell the cinnamon that no one's gonna eat. So she's got her dogs, rock scene George, and Nick is her hot chef who doesn't really get to talk much, but I kind of like that. I like that. She's like Nick, you need to be there for the show.

Do not say a fucking thing you're out. Do you understand me? Okay. You did not earn a line on Reba. Nick, okay. And when you earn it, I will be the first to that. You know, okay. You in hot and Cleveland, I do not think so. Maybe Nick, imagine this is the same Nick that was once Camille Grammar's tennis pro. Like he just has finally found a new gig on the housewives A useful version of Nick go figure go that's a really deep thought that Yeah, I don't know if you see her family life. She's like kids dinners ready when I love when you're still screaming for your kids Make Nick scream for the kids. He cooked the damn dinner. You don't get to like act like you this is yours

Okay, say Nick scream for dinner. You don't get to like act like this is yours, okay? Say Nick's scream for dinner. That's his pride. That's his pride bell to ring, ma'am. So then she kisses Terry, who really just mama elsed himself into a different, into just a different stratosphere. I mean, this guy, wow, do not do your own surgery, everybody. No. No. No. You know, it's like, you know, here's the thing. Okay, during the pandemic, I started cutting my own hair because pandemic, and I continue to do it out of convenience, but I'm fully aware that like my feed is not the freshest

feed in the world. Like the blending is not on point because I'm doing it myself. Okay, it's like, don't, this is what happens when you do things yourself. When you look closely, there's strange blending and strange lines and patches that are. But this is your face, this is your face. This is your face, okay?

He's starting to get Adrian Maloof, where like Adrian Maloof talks about how rich she is and I guess she is, like she hasn't gone broke yet. But why are you feeling your face with like bathroom cock, you know what I mean? And that's how I feel Terry looks like. He's just overfilling, he's just over extended, Terry stop it, okay.

He's starting to look like a scrub daddy, you know? So then Heather's like, oh my gosh, what has been going on for the past five years? Well, we've finished this dream house. It's 22,000 square feet. And I have no idea how many rooms are in the house. Like, hmm, 13. Let's see. Like, let's see. You count like, oh, it's hers, it's two. I mean, listen, it's not an exorbitant amount of rooms, okay? It's the normal amount, but they're just bigger rooms Well except for the movie theater and like that's not a normal room that you have You know like I mean there's my tent. You know what? I just should I even go past 10 because all the poor people watching are really slow

That's why they're poor so six that let's just stop at eight. Okay, if I go past 10 I'm gonna need them to follow. Let's just pretend it's eight. Let's just, this is modeled after a mall, the nicest mall in any one's town. You know, I don't even know how many, Heather, you know how many fucking rooms there are. You had a YouTube show exhaustively going over every fucking room in your house. So it's not pretend that you're not obsessed

with yourself and your fucking house and don't have little brochures to pass out to everyone every time they come to your damn house, talking about how many rooms you have and everything else. Heather. Yeah, you were an architectural digest. You had crafts people make entirely new cabinets because they didn't bevel, they did a bump.

Okay, so you know exactly how many rooms. And as she's doing this, they're like, oh, I thought from it even remember, which by the way, as an actress, you should always remember your lines. But like you doing this whole thing they show on screen they show like every single room and it basically turns into an episode of 24 but there are like literally 24 little panels on the room and she's like it's not an exorbitant amount of rooms it's pretty normal the room just happened to be larger like Heather yeah we don't

we don't count the movie theater I I mean, it is the only place large enough for Terry to store his shelves of rubber faces like the house of black and white and game of thrones. So, you know what actually he just added Vicki Gumbelson. So I'll show you later. I'll show you later. The girl has no room. A room has no name. Okay. So then, so then she starts talking to her kids at dinner. And this is just so Heather because the trendy place for rich people to go right now is Idaho Like rich people are descending upon Idaho. I don't know why but they love their Idaho and it's pissing people in Idaho Off right because all these rich people are coming and building all these mansions typical

It's like typical it happens all the time to some new place. Well Idaho is a place right now So of course Heather has to say Idaho 30 times She's like, oh my god kids. I have so many bug bites from Idaho. Don't you? Did you get a bug bite in Idaho? Terry? Kids did your dad get a bug bite in Idaho? Did he kids and he's like I literally didn't get that she's like, well kids What do you think of Idaho? What do you think of it? Terry you didn't get bit because your face

is full of cement right now. Mosquitoes need blood. So I tried to bite you, but they broke their fucking biders every time they came close to you. There's like mosquitoes all over Idaho with like little biters, and little stingers that are like bent.

There are mosquitoes in Idaho that are just like frozen because they like sucked up restolent by accident. Just as for the mosquitoes, they're just like, well, like Taylor Hermeschang and the mosquitoes. So, some of the mosquitoes hiding in suitcases like, hmm, so she's like, dad and I were saying that, you know what, we're gonna get a house,

we're gonna build it, and we're gonna look around and build. In Idaho, that's what I'm talking about, Idaho kids. Well then, yeah, they're, we'll just clearly taking like a straw poll of like, we're gonna build a summer house somewhere, but we wanna like test out different locations. So she's like, do you like it? Do you like summering in Idaho?

Cause like, that in our sink, we'd like it. We'll just build there, we'll build there. We'll do a whole thing. We'll just build, we'll build like an entire community, but it'll just be for us. We'll do it whole thing. We'll just build. We'll build like an entire community, but it'll just be for us. We'll do it. Whatever you want. And one of the kids is like, you know what this reminds me of? Just, oh my god, the conversation we had about the house. Yes, like you're just doing this. Like that's what you do. You come on TV and you just sit there and like count your money in front of everybody. Every single fucking time.

You know what I'm already too mad at Heather, so I need to calm down. I feel it I know I'm too angry because everybody's online like I can't and I can't and I'm already like my blood is boiling and this happens to me sometimes on these shows and I need to give it some time because it's only episode one and she like hasn't done anything but it's like no time has passed like she came right back on I was like like, shut up! I'm here! Fucking mall house, all right? Hot dog on a stick. I've always vassilated left, not left and right, but I've always like on back and forth on whether or not

I really love Heather or really hate Heather. You love your fans. I'm in a good place. What do you, I think maybe I'm seeping through. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no she was like basically gaslighting Shannon, I hated how there that season. I think I mean, you guys can all go back and listen. But that's that was actually really interesting because, you know, people gaslighting has become such a popular term and everybody uses it wrong on bravo. Like nobody knows what gaslighting even means. Like, Rina, gaslighting gas. Nobody knows what it means. That was literal gaslight.

That was gaslight. When they were trying to make put Shannon and Paul Ambulance. Yes, they were going to get Shannon. They were going to get Shannon 2122 or whatever you call it, what's the number? Or when they call you, they get you. I don't know.

Halled away. So they were really trying to do that to Shannon. Literally making her think she was crazy. To be fair, Shannon is like the most gaslighty person because like the moment she starts getting gaslighty, she's gaslight lit. She starts acting very much how you'd expect someone in like a melodrama about gaslight deck.

The truth won't come out. It's like, oh, Shannon. So anyway, but the point is that Heather is being so obnoxious right off the bat with this like, well, if you like, we'll just build there. Just like this kind of a very obnoxious display of wealth. We'll just come to a place and just build a mansion there. And I can't tell if it's just absolutely repulsive.

Or if this is something I actually really love because I love like horrific displays of wealth on these shows you know so I can't tell where I'm at but I think I had a great time this episode so I think I'm in favor of it yeah so she's like what about you Coco and Coco's like I would spend the whole summer there so you won't get bored Coco she's maybe I'll get bored once. She's like everyone gets bored once. That's fair. Right Terry, just once.

Just once. And you can tell that they're like, she, like Heather clearly rounds up the fam is like, okay kids, all right, we're gonna be on camera tonight. So remember, America's watching, we have to be nice because Nick serves like a pizza. And they're like They're all giving like a round of applause. I'm like you know he serves probably this shit every single night

They're like oh Nick and it's our paper towels at his head Yeah, pizza get Nick Don't interrupt when Terry's talking So she's like what are your plans for the rest of the summer and one of those going to tennis and then she's like You know people with teenage girls tell you they hate you when they're 16, but I say that bullshit. They hate you when they're 12 to 15. And then they come back when it's time to kiss your ass for a luxury car. God. I had a Rena Zamas 15. We used to call her the good one. Now we call her the artist formerly known as the good one.

All right. Could someone just like, just isolate that clip and send it to the producers of Hot and Cleveland, they wanted to reboot that, just showing sitcom skills. Okay, that was a set up punch line. Okay, great. Coco, Coco, what do you want to do this summer? Robots? Did she say robots?

No, the sun was like playing on your phone, and she stopped, and she has a Roblox. That's like a thing the kids are doing. And I thought she was saying, like suggesting that Coco wanted to do something with robotics, like that girl, my unorthodox life. And she's like,

oh, that's not funny. And she talks about Coco, like Coco's 10, but she is so mature. You think she's 21. She's a second degree black belt. Now, is she gonna be the next president? Nothing would surprise me about cocoa. God God save us. So then and then we then Nikki little Nikki. He's now 17 and he's like all grown up and

He's just like, you know a 17 year old and Heather's like, you know, you know when your kids go through those puberty years and they're kind of like, douchey and you gotta get through all that, well, what happened on the other side of that is really cool. And I finally have kids that I can hang out and talk to and see if I'm the cool mom, you know? I can finally say, hey, am I the cool mom? Huh? Yeah. And when she says that, I'm like, you know that Heather was like, talk to me when you're

17, like just sent them off with their manny. You know, like literally did not see him until he was acceptable. She's like, wow, I can finally hang out with my kids. So she tells us that Max is an old soul and she's very clear on who she is and how she feels now. And she's funny and she's savage,

but she's also sweet. Yeah, and so Max, she's like, you know, I'm turning 18, so I'm gonna be legal And Terry is like well, what does that mean to you? She goes and how they go oh oh? It means she can get a tattoo she can get a tattoo and Max is like That's not what I'm she can vote she can vote. That's what it means no she could play the lottery the lottery That's what it means she can go into the army the lottery. The lottery. That's what it means. She can go into the army. Do you don't want to go into the army, do you? She's like, um, I'm a legal adult. I can hang with other 18 year-old.

I think she's saying fucking. It's not what she's talking about. I fucking smoking weed made is weed 18 or is that 21? That's probably 21. Yeah, she probably not fucking. She probably tells the she tells the send. She's like, you're not picking up what I'm putting down, bro. I mean, he's like, yeah, I'm really not. She's we're eating right now. Okay, no one in this household picks up anything. Okay, if someone picks up something, that means that someone's fired. Okay, who's not picking up something for my children? So then we see a car swirving and making burning rubber sounds on the front. And of course, Gina, which can't believe you were ever pulled over for a DUI. I mean, Jesus Christ woman. Like, he's just like,

I'm going to go on. I forgot how to do this. I feel like she learned driving from movies from the 50s when they would just have their hands going like this against the blue screen They're like that That's how you draw a point yeah, but that's also I was just thinking about that the other day for some reason I don't know why but how in you know movies A to D that but that's how cars used to work They didn't have automatic steering like we have now now you don't even have to do anything I drove yesterday eating an egg sandwich

and french fries with both of my hands. I was using both of my hands just kind of driving because you just like you move the steering wheel with your pinky, you know. I was like wow God the future is now and it is delicious. But yeah, Heather, oh Gina's just like wow, wow, she's like tunes is the cat driving her car, you know. Very concerning story very concerning story. Like, I mean, I basically just had a tow on the steering wheel on this fully reclined taking a nap, but I was driving like, were you driving a Tesla? No, just regular car. Yeah, pretty much. I'm a little bit of a nervous driver and Emily is like, where you liked up before you lost your license or you just like that now, because it's like it's concerning. She's like, no, I think it was not driving

for a year and a half. She's like, you know, my biggest fear is hitting other things. Like I hate bikers. I hate bikers, you know, but as long as I'm not hitting other things, I'm achieving the goal of driving in general, right? She kind of has a point. She's like, kind of is a goal.

Kind of, that's kind of how you teach a kid to drive. Just don't hit anything. Like that's the first, that's the first goal. So then they get to the gym and their parks in front of one of those shrub things. And Emma's like, I think you just crawl over this to get to the side. Oh, oh, this was very funny to me,

because they had parked like in the parking lot a little bit of away and the doorway There was like a shrubbery But they were like I guess we have to walk through the shrub to get to the doorway But all they had to do was walk around one other car and there was a ramp and I just thought it was funny that they just could not Figure out the kinds of the walking around a car. They were like must take the short Yeah, the shortest is short. Yeah, that's the shortest distance. I wouldn't walk around the car either. You go over the shrub. But then you have to lift your leg.

So then, um, page the Pilates instructor. She's one of those people. These fucking gym people, okay. They, they wear microphones, but they don't need them. She's like wearing one of those Madonna like blonde and Christian headsets, but there's like three people in the class. She's like, hi, I'm Paige. Okay, Paige. I was like, okay, Paige, you're not at the Thanksgiving day parade. You can take the headset off, all right? You're not broadcasting. So, um, Pilates. A lot of the second time I've had to talk about Pilates this week. Okay. It was already on Vanderpromp rules.

Fuck you Pilates. Okay. I don't like this. I would rather vagina freezing. Go back to that. I don't need a Pilates through line on every Bravo show. Stop it. Yeah.

And so Emily is just saying how like she and you know our best friends and whenever they were fighting, it was because they were miserable in their own lives, et cetera. So now after class, they're sitting together and they're talking about Shane and the bar. And basically, the bar, like, used to the bar exam, the California bar exam had a certain score. And because of COVID and the stress of it and people working from home, they lowered the bar, the California bar lowered the bar to 1390. And since the last time Shane took it and failed,

he failed with a score that was higher than 1390. So basically he retroactively passed the bar, which has me so concerned about lawyers in California. I know. It's like the army actually bringing up the army again, which is weird, but the military had to change their limits too on like health and weight and stuff because everyone's fat. It's America, right?

So everybody's just chubbier year by year. It's like Wal-E, you know, that movie where everybody's just like soon going to be like lying down at a rolling bed with a screen in front of it. Basically, my life, everybody's going to be living like me. So everybody's so fat that they had to like change the requirements. I was like, I don't know that that's good for the army. You know what I mean?

My, I don't know if that's good. I think you, I think you need to be like in fighting, like it's literally called in fighting shape. So. Or you know, like, you know, all right shape, you know. Okay. Yeah, I'm an all righting shape. Okay, I'm an all righting shape. So Emily is like, oh my god, this hurts. I think I'm gonna already Okay, I'm all writing shame so Emily is like oh my god this hurts

I think I'm gonna stick for my Peloton this just hurts my vagina But that that hurts my vagina you know the only thing I can really ride without feeling anything is shame So anyway, he's a lawyer now. He's a lawyer and Genus like oh my god am I allowed to make fun of him for that? Because I mean, Shane passed the bar because they'd love it. The score required that. I mean, that is such a gift to me. That is such a gift. It kind of is a gift.

It's pretty amazing. And it's just funny that Emily just blows up his spot on TV about it too. So she could have just been like, well, it's great. Shane has passed the bar. He's a lawyer now. It could have just been that, well, it's great. Shane has passed the bar. He's a lawyer now. It could have just been that. But she's like, no, he just failed into it.

So I'm really, I'm so retroactively proud of my husband. So then Gina talks about Travis and how much she left three of his. And then she talks about how hard it was giving the testimony in the court because the court case with her ex was delayed and delayed because of COVID. And she kept getting closer to him because time was passing and they were healing and doing so much better. And then boom, she saw us to go give her victim impact statement. So it was pretty sad.

It was actually pretty sad. She said though, but she was like crying, but she said she wanted her kids to see that. She stood up for herself and that their dad took responsibilities. So, that was very sad, but it looks like that sort of wrapped up. And then we see people playing volleyball, and it's none other than a Shana Medore scene. So we see her eldest daughter, Sophie, walking into Boutique. Sophie is 20 now, which is kind of crazy. And Chad is like, well, Sophie, so in Texas, do people dress as scantily as your slut

sisters? I know the twins are in like little crop tops, like such California girls, like little crop tops and tight little bottoms. And she's like, wow, Chad, Stella Adeline, how about this outfit? Look at about this, it covers some of your body. I'm thinking of that, your nipples won't be so cold. Come on, girls. Like, shut up.

Here's something, here's just a sheet I got from Joanne Fabrics. I cut a hole in it and you just trip it right over your shoulders. Just like that, just covers everything. Shan and really is just such an open wound every season. I mean, this is how she starts the season. Her first thing that she says like in her diary room. She's like, wow, the kids are gonna, the kids are older and, well, not gonna lie.

It's not easy to lose in control. So, welcome back. It's fun, Shannon. Real housewives season 16. Can't spell fun without thinking about the word alone. Oh God. Oh, fun. Shannon. So then um, Shannon's like, uh, Shannon's like, well, what? What? what, what, oh Sophie, here's a good option for you. This is good for a little country girl in Texas. Oh, there's no back.

Okay, all right. I guess this is just a store for all the sluts in the world. I don't know, we should probably get out of here. Yeah, because Sophie's like, we don't dress like that. Look at me and she's in a t-shirt and jeans. Um, so Sophie's like, so mom, how would you feel if I stayed in Texas the rest of my life? And she's like, we just hear horror music. And the screen goes to black and white and Shannon, Shannon just looks kind of out the windows.

And she's like, that thing where she's like whispering to like a little pet mouse in her mind. She's like, she's like, well, I'm gonna be honest with you. 40 negative thoughts. I think it would depend on where you live in Texas. If you live in the part of Texas, that's here in Orange County, then I'm totally for it. She's like, probably the suburbs of Dallas or Lake House somewhere else. And she's like, well, I worry about the Zika virus. Come on, God, they have a Zika over there.

What are you talking about? They do not. How do you know? How do you know they don't have a Zika virus? And if they do have it and you get it, you're going to have trouble having kids. I hate to break into Shannon, but I'm pretty sure Orange County is a lot closer to the hemisphere than Dallas. Yeah. And she's like, well, I don't want to be alone. You know, listen, I'm not afraid of being alone at all, but I don't want to be alone. You know, listen, I'm not afraid of being alone at all, but I don't want to be alone. So I have John, and we're very happy. And we talk about our future.

We call it the happy hour. We never remember what we said the next day, but we do know that we had a good time because we're still together. And on me, it was called happy hours for growing up. How old are you? You all know that anyone who engages in happy hour must be happy. That's why I know I'm happy because I drink Accessively and happy hour because I'm so happy

Adeline Adeline you're looking very very skinny sweetie. Check. Thanks mom I have to say by the way I said I haven't a spear before but I met equator and I'm only saying that because I know someone's gonna send say to me, Ben, I think you met equator when you said that. Well, I'm glad you did because I'm the dumb one. So I was like kind of thinking about it. I was just thinking about it.

Like what does that mean? I was like, yeah, I was thinking what does it mean, but then I was like, but you're dumb. I'm like, you don't know. So maybe not the real way. And then I would leave and then I would be like, you guys orange county is closer to the hemisphere than taxes. And they'd be like, what a fucking moron. You know, so thank you for correcting me because I just go repeat whatever you said later. Because that literally makes no sense close to the hemisphere. We're in the hemisphere. Okay. So Shannon's like, well, I'm watching you guys try on a close. That's, they're not

for little girls anymore. They're mainly for trellops, but, you know, and you're saying you're gonna move to Texas. It's just that I'll be yellow alone. And the twins are like, well, one of the twins is like, well, I'll be in California. Just gasp, but yeah, you guys are growing up, but it's a lot for me to think about, you know? And then Stella goes, well, you'll be all alone.

And they go, be all alone. Stella! You're gonna have no one, Mom. I was like, oh my god. So it's what I mean, I didn't mean it in a bad way. Like, you have Archie. It's like, wow, thanks, Stella. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. Celebrity beef.

You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no balled into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder yeah. Then's commercial. So then we go to quail, quail, quail, quail,

quail trailhead. That's a hard thing to say actually. I didn't really really, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail,

quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, quail, Quail Hill, Trailhead. Dan Quail has nothing to do with that. Just to add them into the mix. And also, I don't, I think it was a road runner. It looked like a road runner. But we had a lot of footage of this one bird who is just like, I'm in Orange County.

I got to look good otherwise my bird husband is gonna divorce me. So I got to do my cardio and because that bird was running. It was running through that parking lot back and forth. It was like my favorite thing. And they showed a part where it was just like sitting there like lifting it's like perfecting its tail. I was like wow this is a friend of Roadrunner for sure.

This is a friend of this is a Roadrunner that just went to Pilates. Okay. And I was doing afternoon cardio. The Roadrunner is like the only thing that I can ride without my vagina hurting is shame. Okay, road runner, that was a stolen line that wasn't even really sad on the show. The road runner is like, did you hear about my husband? She passed the bar. But more like the bar came down to him. You know what I'm saying? I said, road runner, stop blowing up your husband's spot. So Heather is meeting her friend, Nicole, for a hike. Now Nicole, I will say this for Nicole. She definitely lives in Orange County.

That is an Orange County face. I mean, you stopped by just the tourism section and that's what happens to your face in Orange County. Good Lord, who, Vel? I mean, she's really ready to rumble this one. She looked to me like a combination of Kelly Benzmone and Leah McSweeney. It was very strange that then there, but that she was not on the New York cast. Hmm. So maybe that's why she looked familiar to me.

Heather's trying to pretend they're friends, which obviously they're not. Because she's like, oh my god, look at you. We have matching hair. I have hair like yours. It's like an opponent. Yeah, this is Terry's favorite hair on me. She's like, yeah, that's cute. She's like, it's called dirty hair. Ha ha ha ha. Dirty hair, that's what it's called this style.

So now we're good friends, right? So what grade is Presley in? Oh, I always think she and Coco were the same age, but they're really a year apart. Am I right with that? You do have a daughter named Presley, or you're just saying your favorite herb is parsley. I just can't remember.

Or do you really pay for it? Because I can't really approve of that, but I still will be your friend. So Heather says that she's known Nicole for eight years and they hit off immediately and they have a they've had a fun friendship. Right. This is how much she says. She goes, I've known her for eight years and And you know what, it's always good running into her. Yeah, that's, if you're like someone

that you have a fun friendship with, is that like, are you just like running in, I don't, do you just run? She sees her in the story, you know. And she's like, she's always in a good mood every time I run into her. Every time I see her at Blockbuster video, always in great mood.

Great mood. So yeah, so she says that she's always in a good mood, which is, whenever someone says that you know, okay, their friendship is going to shitter and this girl is evil, right? So then Heather's talking about how she's gonna have a party and Nobu's gonna come over and do the whole thing, which again is another Heather flex.

But I have to admit, that's an impressive flex. We've never really seen a no-booth flex like that before. Like not even on Beverly Hills, we see a no-booth flex. So Heather's like, oh Nicole, invite whoever you want to the party, whoever you want. You know, we'll give out gift bags to be like, I saw them all house. You know, whoever wants to come, it's great. And she's like, who would you want to come? And Nicole's like, well, have you met my friend,

Noella, she's really fine. So the one I'd like to about this first episode is it's obviously mostly a new cast. I mean, they've really brought in a lot of new people and they're gonna try and make it work from really failing. Let's just be honest, it's been failing for a few seasons now. So they're really trying to make a new go out of it. None of these women seem to know each other

from dick. And every single scene is I'm trying to pretend that they all know each other. And it's it was still good. It's still ended up being good. I was the cast chemistry felt very strong. So so Heather goes, Oh, you know, who's been texting me lately? You know Shannon Bedore Do you know Shannon Bedore? First things on the TV show that we're shooting right now. Shannon Bedore and she's like um I would say yes. Yes. We know each other like okay first of all don't act like you don't watch this show I guarantee I feel like every mom in Orange County is watching Orange County, right? Like, like it feels like it. Right. But what are you going to say? Yeah, I know that crazy bitch from TV.

She scares me. Please don't bring her, you know. So she's like, well, I, you know, what, maybe she'll remember me. I don't know if she'll remember me, but she might. And then there's like, well, I've run into Shannon three times. But recently I sat her on Instagram saying congrats on the product. So I guess that was sort of our reentry point and then we see the message. And Shannon's like, thank you. I help you and your family are doing well. Make them lemonade! You know, Shannon texted me and she just mentioned all the fun things that we did in the past.

You know, we went to parties together. We went to Ireland together. You know, she texted me and she just mentioned all the fun things that we did in the past. You know, we went to parties together. We went to Ireland together. You know, she tried to take my my chair and hobby airs together. Oh, God, all those fun times in the past. And she's like, you know, Shannon and I were never really good friends. And then we see a clip of Shannon being or Heather being totally fake with Shannon when she's like, you know what, Shannon? Maybe we should get together when I get back. Yeah, no, I find it funny that her maiden name is Storms because hold, hold for laughter. She is a storm.

Okay, that was a punchline hot and Cleveland hot and orange counter. I can't with her. So then we get a clip of I am gonna ask you to leave and Shannon being like well Jerry said oh And I've had it with her you will see that truth you will all see that truth And she's being like dragged up by a guy with a you know, like one of those jackets, what do you call this? Straight jacket. Straight jackets. Straight jackets.

Yeah. You will all see the truth. So then Heather and most patronizing way is like, well, you know what? Everyone's allowed to grow up. Everyone's allowed to have a restart. You know, everyone's allowed to build their own mallhouse. So, yeah.

So then we go over to Emily and Gina. And now they've gone from Pilates to the dermatologist They're just they're just gonna pamper their way through the episode. So Emily tells us that she's room She's removed her implants and then she'd have fat transfer into her chest and then got like a lift and then also a Mini-lower face lift together of what she said was her double. And then I had the back of my throat replaced with a coaster that has be Arthur's face on it, which, you know, that one didn't make much of a difference facially, but I like knowing that B is back there in case someone ever rest the cold drink down my windpipe. You know, just if you can get it done, you should get it done.

You know, I always saw myself as more of a blanche. And sometimes I like to stand over a loaf of bread and pretend it's big daddy's casket and say I'm nobody's little girl anymore, but you know, I'll take the author So she's like, but I do have one chin now look and she shows us from the side Which I'm not gonna do because that's not the case. So dr. Jen comes and she's like way over dressed to be on TV You know, she's like, hi guys She's wearing this like skin tight little mini dress with

little pearls sewn on it. It's like very de-reate. Yeah, and so Dr. Emily, she apparently met them all at Bronwyn's Bauer Newell and we like see footage of like like Dr. Jen in the background of like three different shots. Usually when bravo trots at the footage, it's always like, oh my god, that person who was like blatantly in that scene, we never realized that would be a future cast member. But here it was grainy and in the background, it was like, that tough to hear you see behind 10 people, that's Dr. Jen.

Yeah. Also, Bronwyn had a lot to do with casting this year. Noella is the next friend of hers. Now we've got this Jennifer who is a friend of hers. They fired Bronwyn a long time ago, so I'm confused. Maybe it just seems like a long time ago. I don't know. But Bronwyn's pissed. This is what I'm trying to say. Somewhere right now Bronwyn is sitting at home like her nails digging into her palms. So Gina's like, well, you know, I met her at the Valor Newall and Jen came up to me. She was super friendly. She told me she was the doctor. She offered if I wanted to get some services done. And see you later, and I'm cashing in that credit, baby. Yeah.

And so, and she's like, you know, Janet, the total package, she's educated. She works full-time. She's a mom. She actually has something to receive package. She's like a total package because she actually can receive packages at her place. So, I don't even know what that means.

But I can imagine Gina being impressed with that sort of functionality. She can get packages. She's doing it all in stilettos. And so Gina's like, you know, you know, when Mara's dream and death becomes so when she drinks the violin moves, everything moves up, I want that. Okay, you know what? We're not going to fuck with Dr. Jen because look what she could do. Because Dr. Jen like injects her change. She's like, trust me, trust me. You're gonna meet this, you're gonna meet that. Yeah, so yeah, so she gets her little Botox and she's like link one. So then we go over to Nobu,

and which also could be something that is often said to people to like other waiters when Heather walks in, like, are you gonna wait on her? Nobu. Nobu. I'll you do it. That was too long of a title for a restaurant. And I've heard the other one. Hell Frado.

Hell Frado. Like she is at Nobu every day. You know, she just let's, has to let you know how often she's at Nobu. She's like, John, hi, John. Oh my God, look at you. You shaved. John, you shaved. Oh my God, look at you, you shaved. John, you shaved. Oh, it's so good to see you outside of that mask again, John.

It's great to be able to hold him away from home. So she sits down with this guy who's like the maternity or the manager or whatever. And she's like, so everything that you guys do is awesome. So I don't want to micromanage too much of it. But this is what I want. Forks that have tines that are 3mm apart from each other. Napkins that are folded at a 37 degree angle.

And also I want exactly 73 greens of rice under every piece of sushi. Thank you. And so historically, I love a party. To me, it's a theatrical event. What does it look like? What does it smell like? What does it taste like? The fuck kind of theatrical event is that?

It's not Hamilton. Jesus Christ. I don't want to smell tastes, lick any show I've ever seen. It's like you're giving a new spin to cats. Nobody needs this. So she's like, and a dupe row party, it's a complete immersion into fabulousness. And then we see clips of her parties and they're, they're lame, right? When does Heather not have a party? Do you have that rodeo? The copy. That was a good, I mean, that's a good party. I mean, it's probably

lame to actually be there. But I mean, that is where we met Megan King Edmond's the first time, right? Yeah, so that's true. I guess. I think that's not an indoor. Shannon's got a mad that Terry was flirting with her because he said, you want to shot? I'm very terrible, man. Wasn't that that? Probably. My allergies.

These hay bales. My allergies. So, um, yeah, but I agree. I don't think of, like, Heather as... I think she has a higher estimation of her parties than the rest of the audience does, though I agree. I don't think of Heather as, I think she has a higher estimation of her parties than the rest of the audience does though, regardless. Yeah, we never think that the lens real money is. Yeah, but she spends real money, I guess,

and her mind vets like your personality, right? Like I have the best personality, except the richest. So she's like, okay, and we're gonna have the shamps. We're gonna have the shamps because I have that shamps. Just wanna remind everybody that I say, shamps a lot, you might hear it, you might hear it often now,

shamps, that's for me. That's another original. Shamps, and hopefully we won't have to break into the wall and that, because she has like a wall of champagne. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, I don't break into the wall. Don't worry, we can rebuild it. But yeah, she's like, she's just like really excited

to have this party. So then over at another place, well, no, well, it comes in first. And she comes to meet Heather at Nobu and no, well, you're right. Not a not a huge fan so far, mostly because it's some Bronwyn friendship that I'm like, but she comes in wearing she looks insane. She's wearing some like crop tops. She loves a clown sleeve. There's what I'll say about Noella. She loves a clown sleeve.

She wears a clown pirate sleeve for the rest of the episode. Every time you see her, she's in a different version of this. I felt like she stood in front of an industrial fan and someone had like a box of textiles and empty the box in front of the fan and they just blew at her and whatever stuck is what she wore. Like it just sort of stuck around.

They put glue on her and it stuck to her and she's like, okay, got my outfit. It just looked like very windswept at the moment. So she walks in with Nicole, but then we go to the deck, which by the way, we go to the deck a lot on Orange County, and I feel like it does not get mentioned as a place, but they are always at the deck. So they're at the deck, it's Emily and Gina,

and Gina's like, oh my God, I haven't been to the beach in a while, it's so beautiful, and so the waitress comes over, and I like, I'm so sorry, I'm castery. No one cares. Give me my drinks. All right.

No. And so they're like, oh, what's that drink over there? It's nice. Oh, it's called a red tide. And I just started to laugh. Do you know what a red tide? Well, there's, first of all, there is red tide and slang is one thing. But do you know what an actual red tide is?

No, I've only heard the period version. So I thought it was gross that they had a drink named after that. Right. Or biblical. Red tea. Yeah, but a red tide is actually something that happens in the oceans. And so this is what it is. A red tide is a phenomenon of discoloration of sea surface.

It is a common name for harmful algal blooms occurring along coastal regions, which result from large concentrations of aquatic microorganisms such as protozoans and unicellular algae. Great name for a cocktail also. Come on, dude. But has Tom Sandivall heard of this? Sounds like... You know, we were thinking about some of that toxic algae that sometimes shows up in the beach and we thought, let's make a cocktail about it. Exactly. So Shannon comes in and I'm

like they're shining with her hot white pants just. What? What? What? What is hot pants? What does white pants mean? What does that mean? I'm not wearing hot pants. I'm not wearing hot pants. These are covering my ankles. I'm not I'm not some slut. Okay. I'm not some slut walks on the beach with buried men. Okay. No. No. I'm saying some slut, okay? I'm not some slut walks on the beach with a buried man, okay? No, no, I'm saying you look hot. Oh, I'm fun, fun Shannon. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's like, well, someone's had a cocktail here.

Ha, ha, ha. They're like, come on, Shannon, let's catch up. So, they do, they just get shit faced so much. Emily goes, cheers to the new tracer megas. She was like, yes, my default. Then back with the other ladies, Heather asked Nicole and Noelle are having Matt and they're like, oh my god, you're telling you're a meat. We met in an airport bathroom. And Noelle was like, well, it was at a private airport bathroom. If it makes any sense,

wait, was it for a bathroom that was private or was that a airport that was private or an airport with private jets? I need to pick the whole picture before I one up you. Okay. Yeah, they're like as private. Oh, okay, well, that makes it slightly better. So, Nicole's like, it's private. Oh, okay, well that makes it slightly better. So Nicole's like, well, we were washing our hands and we had the same bracelets. And so we're like, oh my God, we have the same bracelets. Did you pee? I pee too.

We have so much in common, this is crazy. You have hands? I have hands. Yeah. And then she introduced me to her husband. I'm like, okay, well, we'll find out about Noella later. It's like, okay, so you're trying to bang, you're trying to bang this Nicole girl, right?

That's what I thought. So Heather's like, oh, your husband is Sweet James, right? I've seen his billboards. They're great. A lawyer with billboards. Like, I'm already sold. I'm already sold on this season because I've seen these billboards around town and I'm always be like,

who the hell is Sweet James? There's some people around L.A. that I want to know. I want to know who is Sweet James. I also want to know who is Veronica of Veronica's insurance and also the guy who has the bus stop things that says, accident days. And so now that we're getting

ill, that's sweet James. Yeah, I'm really happy. So no one was like, yeah, that's him. Okay, so no, well, that's your chase. And I'm really happy. So Noel's like, yeah, that's him. OK, so Noel does this weird thing where she talks like that. I mean, if you're on crap on something, and you can see my face, but one of her lips is pointing up one way and the other is pointing down the opposite way.

She's got like that kind of, I don't know how to explain that. I'm like, you can do that so well. Looks like this. So me and my friend in high school used to do that. And now I see Noah and I'm like, oh my god, that is totally what we used to do in high school. The base we used to make. She's like, well, my husband, Sweet James,

he is the most authentic person. And it's not just a brand, guys. It's him. That is how he is. I mean, he even writes in that same flaunt that's on the billboard. He is amazing, guys. And she has like a real put on way of talking. I'm like, her lips are maybe overfilled and misshaped. I don't know what's going on, but I'm fascinated. I have to say I'm fascinated.

And she's so emphatic about how sweet he is and how wonderful he is and how great their marriages. But I'm like, I'm kind of sold on the season because I know it's all gonna fall apart. So, so, Nuella and James met online and she goes, we were actually speaking with each other for a few weeks before we physically met at the Ritz and the waitress came by and was like, you wanna have another round?

I was like, what are you talking about? We're going upstairs and then we pulled around and we fell in love. Yeah, she's TMI obsessed like fucking Bronwyn. Just like when she came. So she's like the hard part about being married to an attorney guys. Like who puts so much into his work is that he puts everything into his work. Like my mother actually passed the bar when she was pregnant with me,

but she said do not marry a doctor or a lawyer because they're always married to their pages. And he had this like, a page, a page. I love that. They're married to their pages because that's what people used to have. Yes, we actually have, we actually hire pages in our house and we boss them around. Yeah, it's much more effective than a page or, yeah. And she said, and if you do end up with an attorney,

do not end up with an ambulance chase. And I did, I did. Oh God, it's going to go to ship her so badly. So then back over at the deck, Shannon's like, ah, some more Tik-K-Lap, more, more. So cheers to the only true girl's life, who I have any sort of relationship with, who, some more Tik-K-Lap or far. So cheers to the only true girls left, who I have any sort of relationship with, who, I'm sorry, I meant to say,

cheers to two girls who have worn my heart, and made me realize that you can start off rocky and that you can form a friendship with two women who have done nothing but talk evil things about me behind my back and try to ruin me and supported vicious people like Kelly Dad. But talk evil things about me behind my back and try to ruin me and support it. Vicious people like Kelly Dad. But since I'm so benevolent in loving, I will be willing to do some sort of off-brand

low-rent Tracemegas with you. Cheers! It's like, well, I haven't really had much of a friendship with Emily and Gina in the past here. But... And then we see a clip of, okay, Miss Oliver the Mal or whatever. And Jan is like, well, but you know, I did go to New York with Gina. And we bonded.

We bonded. She does that tight smile where she kind of curls the lip under and she shows her teeth. She's like, we bonded. We bonded. So, you know, I look at them different now. And a different kind of light. And Emily's like, well, we grew on so you know, I look at them different now, then a different kind of light. And Emily's like, well, we grew on you, like barnacles.

She's like roses, which also are incredibly painful to be growing on you, so they both did. I have to say that trip to New York was, you know, I think the moment that we bonded the most was we were on one of those underground things the subway, I guess it's called and First of all, no sandwiches. So that was a disappointment, but also a man yelled at me. He said Stand clear of the closing doors. And I was like, well, I never had a man talk to me that way before. And you know, actually told me It was actually a voice that was pre-recorded and at that that moment, I realized this woman saved my life, and we've been together ever since.

I did still shoot the subway. So the girls are like, well, they're more shot! So they're just taking shots and then classic music starts playing as we sit. We go back to the other ladies who are sipping seven days. They'll be like, oh, no, well, it's like so how long have you and Terab and they got their hat on. I said, almost 25 years from our blind date. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. And Nicole's like, well, you know, you're still fucking aren't you? Cause that keeps the marriage happy. No, Nicole has so much bow touch.

She's got the bow talks. I flickering going on. She does. She really does. She's got the bowtocks. I flick her going on. She does. She really does. She's basically that like a molecule. And so if she was a car, she would be pulled over for a tail light going out, you know, she's just going down the road like. She's just constantly making a left turn about to make a left turn. Like, we just want to honk at her. Turn your signal off.

How angry was Kyle Richards when Heather announced that it's basically been in 25 years that she and Terry have been together. You know that Kyle likes being the only one on housewives that has a really ship that long, right? Yes. So Heather's like, oh gosh, no one wants to hear about married people sex lives. And while I was like, well, we have a great one. Hey, we've got a sex dungeon. So, you know, you'll love it, Heather. Okay. Yeah. And you know, people do ask us about things because we have

a sex dungeon. So they ask us about our sex life all the time. So everyone get ready for several episodes where Noella, like, like, overcompensates for whatever decay is happening in their marriage by talking about their crazy, crazy sex life in that dungeon. I mean, why don't you guys just keep Bronwyn at this point? That's basically what you're doing. You just got Bronwyn back, you know, in a different way than he. So I like Bronwyn.

I like Bronwyn. I'm down for her to come back. I'm the only one in America, but that's okay. So Heather's like, I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to your sex dungeon, but I'm happy for you that you like it. So then Shannon is like, well, I'm going to introduce Gina to my friend Heather tomorrow. And we're going to go to have years, which is another Orange County hospital I mean they're always going to Havierz right and so uh Shannon's like I mean I mean you know the thing is with Heather. I mean she is flippin funny

Look at me this is how I laugh at a joke Look at me displaying joy because I can receive joy She's funny she's fun she's giving's so polite. She walks me to the door every time I see her. She's always offering to get me help. That's something. You should see the way. Yeah, one time she did call an Uber for me, but it actually was an ambulance, but you know It was a little bit mistakes and nice It was so nice. Yeah, it was she's has a very forceful way of offering a seat for you at a table

This maybe someone called me classes, but I guess her sense of humor So Genus like is she from Orange County? It's like, oh, no, she's from New York. So you guys have that in common. Ha, ha, you know. People from New York City love meeting people from Long Island. So that's gonna be fun to watch you to bond.

Oh, no. You guys can talk about what was like when the man yelled at you about this closing door and you guys can bond over that, quite a bit. Mm quite a bit. So back to the others Nicole's like, well, we went, oh no, Nicole's almost the other face. She's like, we went hiking. We went hiking on the hottest day of here. Oh yeah, that's something I forgot to marriage and that marriage. Sorry, it's been a long day. That's something I forgot to mention in that hiking scene. They were hiking and had to just cut, I am melting. And the cold's like, yeah, it's hot. No, but I'm melting.

Like it's literally so hot out here. I am melting. So we talked a little bit and walked them to Heather would go, oh my god, I'm melting. And so now we're back to that. She's like, we went hiking on the hottest day of the year. I was melting. Heather's like, I was melting. Okay, this bitch is already stealing my melting. Really? Really? Really? My observation about meltingness. Okay. So Heather is like, oh, so I called Shannon and we had a nice conversation and the club goes, oh, good. I was like, oh, this woman's evil. The fake, the way the phononist and her saying, oh, good, like, what does she care if they had a good conversation, right? So they goes, and you know what?

She definitely hit the nostalgia button for me, not to be confused with the champagne button, but you hit the nostalgia button. So I'm willing to take a chance and we'll see. We'll see. So Sam is like, wow, Heather called me and she was walking with a girl who says she knows me.

Oh, okay. Because I was room mom at the preschool. Basically, this I would come in. I would say, hi kids, brought your cookies. You need to eat them. You're too skinny. Please put some clothes on. Please, I'll give you put some clothes on.

Hi, I would come into the in the in the preschool room and I would say, hi kids, please enjoy this snack and enjoy your innocence before your fathers, all the wonderful mothers for some slut on the beach. And so we see a clip of Heather on the phone with Shannon going, you know, I was walking with this girl, melting. I was melting and walking. I couldn't even see my feet because they were melted.

I was walking on these basically couldn't I couldn't even see my feet because they were melted. I was walking on these Cuz my legs had melted But you know what she says it you know each other Nicole James and Shannon's like, huh? Nicole Hey, Nicole while I only know that stupid murderous slut Nicole is her last name did it used to be weas Did it used to be weas Is turns last me did it used to be wee's? Did it used to be wee's?

That's not her maiden name from her last husband I don't think because I've definitely known her for eight years so I definitely know what her maiden name is Hmm, I'm gonna get back my you know what my brain is melting right now I'll get back to you when I'm in a cold place. Okay. I will tell you this. She looked like Pam Anderson and she dated Kid Rock and Shannon's like, oh well, let's see. Wait, no, no, I'm the one who said that. She looked like Pam Anderson. She looked like Pam Anderson and she dated Kid Rock. Now, I lost track of that little hooker, but I was good friends with Nicole Weas before she turned into a huge slot, which we'll talk about later if it's the right Nicole. I don't want that. Shadden does that classic shadow thing where she's like, yes, I was good friends with her.

What? And you're like, oh, it's gonna come. So then had this like, so, hey, so, uh, Blinky, what was your name before James? Hold on to my house, but he's so sweet. No, no, no, no, no, not you. Your last name is just, oh, what was your name before James? Oh, that's my husband, he's so sweet. No, no, no, no, not you. Your last name is just, oh, it was Whis. Whis. Oh, like Whis is pieces, right?

And she's like, yes, she remembers you. She remembers you. Okay, she's the point right in your face. She remembers you. It's like a parking gate. It's like, it's like you, like you have not paid your ticket to get out of the parking garage. But the point's right at you instead of your friend of you. It's like, so Nicole is not

happy about that. I think I can't tell with her face. So then Shan is like, I mean, I was like, I'm losing my mind because double circle crazy temple fingers Double circle crazy temple fingers like I worry about early onset What's it called I worry about that sometimes yeah? I'll I'll just windshield wiper it away, okay? So so Shannon tells us the reason why it's bothering me so much It's because I don't want this girl to be the person that others talking about. But I want to know, tell me.

And she was like, well, I want to know too. Is it her? Is it not? Oh, it's like cool. The slut did it with the slut in the slut room. It's him, is it her? I don't know. So they get up to leave and they're like drunk now,

so they're like they're slapping Shannon's butt and stuff. He sat there and girl waited five minutes ago. Oh it's so good to have good girlfriends who I truly do enjoy spending time with. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then the thing they're doing this season, they finally stopped doing the thing that we both hated, which is that they would like show, they're trying to do a big little lies thing where they would like show something like the beach and be quiet and then give it like a few beats in the brain of music and they stopped doing that. The new thing is they'll show up in yet and then they freeze the vignette

and they slide at another vignette, but they still keep a little bit of the old vignette and then they do it another time. And so this time it was like someone, like a girl walking and they just freeze on her ass for like five seconds of screen time. This girl's butt just right there on the screen. I was like, see, it's good to have the show back, you know?

And now we go to Dr. Jen at home. Oh God, this is a disaster. This couple is a disaster walking. Oh my God. So you know that you're a disaster when you have your own bouncy house outside because that's just trying too hard for the children. Okay, they need to get fucking jobs.

Nobody needs a bouncy house all the time. Okay, you don't get that. So this is a mother who's never home and a dad who hates her is what I'm seeing so far. So she comes in and it nicks like shirtless. He's like, that's his thing. Yeah, he's always shirtless. And they're originally.

Wait, is this their house? Is this them? Or is that their house? She's talking to Caitlin, who's the nanny, right? Yeah, and so we have like's talking to Caitlin who's the Nanny, right? Yeah, and So we have like this is not a great episode for origin stories because the first one we heard so far is that like two girls met the airport bathroom And they both were like the each other's bracelets. So this one she's like Ryan. I Ryan and I we met at a breakfast buffet Okay, and it was typical love at first sight, but I was a little tricky because I was with somebody

and he was with somebody and we didn't exchange the numbers, but we happened to meet a month later. And okay, that's fishy, first of all. That's fishy. Right. Also, I wasn't sure if I liked him at first because you took forever picking out the bacon slices and I was like, excuse me, I have to get to the cereals. Yeah, and she's like, you know, but then by the time we met I'd broken up with my somebody

and I hope he had to. I mean, I didn't ask. Okay, so we see you were like a breakfast buffet with your families or something and hit on each other. You dirty, dirty. I like it. I mean, I think that's kind of a hot hook up a breakfast buffet. I mean, I mean, I would love to fall in love near a waffle machine. I would love it. I was gonna say the scent of Farina, you know, in your nose can just really spur those pheromones. So they have a, a Vichon invents who they, the camera just keep cutting to him, delinting a couch over and over again. I was like, I

Really appreciate this kid like he's probably the most responsible OC kid we've seen so far. Yeah, and no, I'm not gonna give it to Brianna I'm sorry. I will not give it to Brianna. She is revoked. Yeah, so The why do you revoke Brianna because she's married? Brie. Yeah. Yeah, so She also has twins and she's like how do I balance running a business in a family? Very carefully not really well to be honest. I mean look at him. He can't stop linting. Okay. He's taking he's taking out the obvious dysfunction. I have my husband by delinting everything inside. Okay, like, yeah, and this man is fucking everybody around your back, behind your back. And you know he is because any husband who shows up

in his first scene on TV shirtless, he doesn't put on a shirt this entire fucking episode. That man is cheating on you, man, mark my words, mark them down. Midlife crisis. Okay, if he's gonna cheat, if he's gonna cheat on someone else, the breakfast buffet, he's gonna cheat on someone else the breakfast buffet

He's gonna cheat on you. I'm allegedly so So Jen is she's born and raised in Luguna Beach and she is an aesthetic physician and has 20 years of education and 10 years of education experience and She knows more than she should about what's going on in Orange County because she says that like Girl will come and do something and says, just put on my boyfriend's credit card and then she looks at the credit card. She's like, oh, that's my friend's husband. So she's self-reclaimed epicenter of all the gossip, although I kind of remember, I feel

like it's a little TBD. Yeah. So she's had to like think about, it's like, what is TBD? TBD determined. TBD determined. Okay. So Jen is like, so Brian, I'm going to have some wine. He goes, what else is new? And she's like, will you open the wine for me? I mean, I don't know how she's using the easiest wine opener.

You can't just one of those ones that you screwed down and then use the arms to go boom. And I actually, I actually don't think those are easy. You know why? Because it's easy to get the thing in, but then you have to like pull it out, and it's like a, ugh. I think the easiest one is the waiter's one.

Oh, gosh. You know what? No, it's not the easiest one. Oh my god, that's so easy. You just put it and you go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And it comes out. I think it's easy, but I was a waiter,

but I mean, this was like made for, this is like the one for dummies, you know? Anyway, the point is, it's made for people, it's made for people who are muscular enough to go shirtless on TV proudly. And if you are, if you've worked out enough that you wanna show off your body on TV, then you better be able to pull a cork out of a bottle.

Yes, and also you're married to someone who you just said drinks wine every day and you've never opened a bottle of wine. Like this guy's a pig, okay? I'm just saying right now, this guy's a total pig, I hate him already. So he's like kids, I need a big strong man over here to help your mom get drunk. That was all right in his voice. And she's like, well, we have a pretty unconventional relationship. He runs a company that does vacation rentals to a higher end clientele. So that's what

he does. But before that, he was a full-time father and he always puts the kids, he always puts being a husband before being a father, I'm being a father before being a husband, almost with detriment. So they're like, like, he's going off and he's fucking people, right? Like, that's what that's what that means, right? Yeah, it's like, I don't know if he's like, I gotta check on a property this weekend, honey. I'll go.

Or he's like, like, running some sort of horror movie. Because there's not like the way the horror movies always work. Like six couples come together for a beautiful thing. But what they don't realize is they all have to eat each other. You do not watch horror movies. So Jim's like, so you're leaving again for the weekend. You're leaving me alone with three kids.

And he's like, oh my god, you're not gonna have to do anything. Unless you fire Caitlyn. So they're gonna make Caitlyn take care of the kids all weekend. And poor Caitlyn is pregnant herself. She's like super pregnant. Yeah. And she's like, I would never buy your Caitlyn. And this couple hates each other.

And also he has kind of the face of an animating act, one of those cartoons. I don't like him. So then we'll go over. Yeah, sorry, Ben, were you going to ask? Yeah, he has like, sort of like a Mike Boogie face from the brother. That's a very good call. Mike Boogie fence. Thank you. So now we go over to Javier's. And this is the the the much hyped lunch for Shannon and Heather and Gina. So Gina and Shannon show up at Javier's and Shannon's like,

well, the scene of the crime. So I thought we were going to have another flashback to the famous chair scene, but actually there's already a new memory. So a new crime. So crime so Shannon says well here we are and having airs last night like you know so you know ironically I was there about 12 hours ago with Gina and Emily haven't even more cocktails because Happy hour your happy people have cocktails all the time and who walks in by a fluke who did not know we'd be there Heather to bro Oh my god here we are again. We could have slept here. I came from my lunch yesterday,

and Terry was having his office dinner party, so I just slipped right in. And then the screen goes to black, like it's going to be some big scandal. And she and it's like boom, boom, boom. She and it's like, so we chatted for a while, and then... Blackout again, fade out.

And then we laughed. And then things got a little fuzzy for me. But, boom, boom, boom. Blackout screen goes to black. Now, I didn't have a credit card with me. I'm not saying that I'm a sloppy, irresponsible drunk or anything, because I obviously was just expressing my happiness, because that's what I have in my life

And I guess I was the the last man standing if you will both in my marriage with David and at this time at hobbyers and Somebody paid the bill unlike David in our marriage It was Heather. It was Heather who paid it I know that's like yes, I paid it and she's like oh, I brought money for you I'm not gonna let me reach into this bag are you but there is money in here there is I'm reaching in reaching in to get them a do not stop me Other I am paying you back there. Okay, I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back So how they're goes it actually was very funny what's funny because Heather is basically dissing Shannon right now But she's making sound like it was very funny. Well, it's funny because Heather is basically dissing Shannon right now, but she's making it sound like it was this funny.

And I think that's how Heather is. It's so funny. I mean, Heather is so Heather. Yeah, she's actually was very funny because I haven't seen Shannon a while. And I'm having lunch here tomorrow. And Shannon's doing her like, exact job. She's like, has her shoulders up.

She's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Like, this is such a funny story. She's, I see Shannon here. And I'm like, she's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah I often went to as a kid or actually as an adult even because people may not realize this but Heather and I actually grew up very close to each other. So the fact that she named Jack the local diner, like I was floored. Floored Ronnie. I don't know if it's a good story for anyone else beyond me, but I was like, oh my god, the man gets good diner or the man gets good diner.

So maybe she saw Brigaduin. You never know. She may have come too much. Well, you know, for a while there, I had a theory that Heather and I actually went to the same synagogue because the Mount Kisco Diner is actually like two blocks away from the synagogue I went to, but she went to a different synagogue.

Guys. Oh, bitch. Bitch. I know, yeah. So, June is like the Mount Kisco Diner. It's just, yeah, I'm from Westchester. It's just, oh my god, you know,, so June is like the mouth kiss go Dine. It's just yeah, I'm from Westchester It's just oh my god you know been mantle girl. Oh, yeah, he's absolutely amazing. He was amazing Tora tree in Brigadou. He was amazing. Check. Oh my god. Oscar worthy. I saw it. You know what?

Tony's are for theater actually actually where I come from Tony's every other man, okay? I've also got Joe's. I know I didn't I refuse to see productions for people with bit parts. You know when you're in hot and Cleveland you only go see the high end shows, you know? There are no small parts only small actors called under fives and I don't support those. There are no small parts only parts that look proportionally much smaller because they're in a giant master bedroom. So I was like, a little hair of the dog ladies

and she was like, what kind of hair is that? And she's like, oh, it's a margarita with Mujo Spiso. Okay, Alfredo, she's like, well, I will have it. Margarita with Poca Spiso. Okay, Alfredo? She's like, well, I will have it. Margarita with Poco Spiso, okay Alfredo. Gotta love Alfredo. Who's Alfredo? I can't Gina. Don't worry, it's already an inside joke

between me and Heather. Oh, okay. So Gina's like, do you know Dr. Jen, oh, I'm strong. She has what kind of doctor is she? Exactly. Well, she has a med spa a med spa that Cures cancer

And I'll think so okay good. I'm okay with this kind of doc. I thought you were gonna pull a Vicky on me Okay, go ahead. Okay, so she owns a med spa and how big is her ballhouse? You know what let's table that for another episode. Okay, let's table for another episode so Gina's like you know, I hit it off with Jen. You know what? I like new friends. I like smart friends. At least a lawyer, Jen's a doctor. Who doesn't want to see an MD at a party cutting loose? Am I right, everyone? Huh? I've been inside for very long. Oh, and Heather goes, oh, who else is going to be coming? Oh,

by the way, Shannon point, Shannon, that is the right name. That is the right name. You have the right person. And so the producer says, okay, Gina, now what secret to Shannon have about Nicole? She goes, okay, off to the tea. Last night, Shannon told Emily and I that she had this secret about Nicole that Nicole sued Terry Dubrow. Mm-hmm. Which might make sense with the Ibelinker. So then Shannon's like, well, so, well Heather, do you know this about Nicole James? Also known as Nicole Mies, which sounds like Mice, which is like a rote, which is like a rat.

Do you know this? She dated Kid Rock. How about that? Right after Pam Anderson! And Heather's like, oh my god, she's got she tinned! And she even looks like Pam Anderson! Micah! I think now would be a good time for me to raise my shoulders up to my ears

and laugh quietly to show how happy I am. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh God, girlfriend's hygen out being girlfriends. Another's like, oh, I'm asking you right now if she dated Kid Rock. Look, I'm asking you right now if anybody wants to say anything. Look at me asking her and she's like, oh, what? Ah! Is she gonna get the hat? I don't even know where to put my windshield wipers. My face, what do I do?

I think so much fun. Oh, it's so good to put my windshield wipers. My face, what do I do? And my face so much fun. Oh, it's so good to be dealt with good friends. She does. She does. She did date Kid Rock. She did date Kid Rock. And she is like, oh my god, this woman to call is in fact the woman Shannon knows.

I mean, Shannon should just tell her. I mean, let's not talk about Kid Rock. I mean, come on. This is absurd. Yeah, so how there goes the bathroom, and Gina's like, so she doesn't know, hock. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, you don't stop that right now, Gina.

Here lies Shannon Bedore killed by Gina's predatory. Oh, and she's like, I mean, come on, are you gonna tell her? You know, I am serious! Do not, you're on putting up lipstick right now! And she goes, you made a promise to me last night, Gina. And so Shannon tells us, I made a pact with Chima and Emily the night before. If so, by some chance, this is something Zippet! Zippet!

Funny how these packs with Shannon always seem to get violated, you know, like the train with Kelly Dodd, right? So Gina's like, well I don't fully understand why Shannon's doing this. I mean, but there's something going on that, you know, there's something going on because this is Shannon, you know. My notes are messed up, so I just trailed off in Gina accent. Yeah, I mean, but this, Gina was actually really funny in this episode. I was cracked.

She was. She's like, you know, Shannon, she's got to do something because she's Shannon. Yeah. She's like, but she goes, so she's like, okay, God. So then Shannon gets her really dirty look while eating a chip. She's like, not giving it, warning her. So then Heather comes back and she is like so heavy you live around here and she's like oh my god right here. So if you guys want to

actually boom car go house hell richer than you'll ever be you should pop over. Oh yeah, let's just totally do this which is such an odd thing by the way to be like oh if you're not doing anything let me give you a tour of my house. Like, that's sort of an odd odd. Well, obviously it was produced, right? So they decided to go over to Heather's house and they walk in and Shannon is spiraling harder in this scene than any of the winding staircases in this atrium. They walk in, there's like, the entryway

is basically like a Vegas French, like the Paris casino, right? Like this faux French chateau entrance. And they walk in and there's this huge chandelier, which of course, I'm shocked. I'm shocked that they did not bring a flashback of channins chandelier. And I was like, oh, this is actually,

this chandelier is actually a semi-precious stone. And actually every time you push the button, it always raises up and down perfectly every single time and it was it was brought in by the largest container ever brought into the United States It was so large that it actually caused a global shipping crisis, okay? The chandelier Shanners just losing it her eyes are she has the angriest face in her eyes, just darting from thing to thing. And the largest container ever brought into America,

shut the fuck up, Heather. Okay, that's not true. Shan, that is not even true. They've brought elephants into America. I don't believe you for two seconds. So, um, she, Shan is kind of freaking out. And Heather's like, oh my, and Gina's just like, oh my god,

it's stunning. You had a ballet outside. This is amazing. And she's like, yeah, um, all the iron, look at all the iron on the stairs. I drew that. I drew that. Can you walk on it? That like won't it just fall over? No, I drew it and then people built it. Oh, that's fancy. You know, one of my favorite hobbies is drawing raw iron. Okay. I love to draw iron. And this tree, Shannon, you might remember the big tree.

Oh, for your children. Wow, look at that. You know what I have for my children? Robs that I back them to put on every time they walk into the living room. So, wow. I have memories of sugary sauces on gastropubs. That's my marriage, fella.

And, Gene, it's like, oh my god. Oh, yeah. So Heather's saying, yes, one bird is for each kid, and there are two eggs for my frozen embryos. That's what I was getting. That was my theory. That was my theory during the preview. That's what that tree was about. Yeah. So then we see Heather's office. And then we go to here's my favorite bathroom because no one knows it's here. Okay, I basically watched many episodes of Webster. And I was like, I want to do it like that. So there's

like a his door to the bathroom, right? Which now everybody knows because it's on TV. And she goes, oh my God, I love trap doors. She's like, oh really? Because I have one of those too. What? She just like falls through the floor. We never see her again. I don't think that's a trap door, but yeah,

that's pretty much like there's an alligator pit down there. So how there's like, and this is Terry's office. How does he work there? No, no, it's just for show, but he works there. No, no, not at all. And Gina's just like, wow. This is amazing. And then they go to the media room.

By the way, not, not a hue of color in this house. It's just like beige and gray and darker gray and like red gray. Everything is just gray and depressing and sad. Well, it's a banana republic, you know. It's like they took one store in the mall and modeled everything after it. And then they're just like, okay, this is the formal dining room.

Look, you see these sconces? I made them for the whole house, the whole house. Okay. And this is my studio for my podcast. Okay. So they walk into this and it's this amazingly huge, it's a crazy studio. I mean, this is nuts. I would die. So pictures of herself everywhere. And it said, I mean, I've got a picture of mine. It says Heather DeBros World on her market. She has custom mic or had some custom Heather DeBros World on. It used to be a guest bedroom,

but now it's my studio and by the way, on the door, it says something like studio HD or something or studio H because Heather, it's like so. It's so ridiculous. I mean, if ever I forget my name because it's everywhere, you know. so then they go to this like outdoor section that looks like the set of fucking scar face. It looks like scar face. I mean, Alpachino's gonna walk out like they a little my little friend. And then they're like, there's a game room and then there's like a

rock like they stop even doing a whole thing of like look at the room because there's so much they just are doing quick cuts and she's like like this is like a parking garage in here I Know that's why I do this with my finger cuz I want I want to attach it to front of our garage So then movie theater gym laundry room and it's just shot out It's like a room and then Shannon's face going, oh, movie, movie. Oh, game. She does that thing where she's sort of like is again, sort of like her lips are going to like, she's sort of tightening her lips and you see her eyes, her eyes, it looks like

she is following a trail of ants along the floor as her eyes go like left to right. Oh, I think she looks like she's looking at, you know, when you stare in a light for too long, and then you still see the shadow of the light in your eyes, and you're just kind of trying to follow it around, she's like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, doesn't remind me at all of past life, or had a house where I had perfectly, perfectly engineered the air quality in it. I'm not feeling, I am very happy with my adorable little house.

That's directly adjacent to another house. So Gina's making it worse, right? Because Gina's like, did you ever have a feel like this shaman? She's, no. And then there's like, oh, so these are refrigerated cabinets. There was one cabinet design for the whole house. And then there was like a little, so these are refrigerated cabinets. There was one cabinet design for the whole house. And then there was like a little bevel I didn't like. So they had to redo the whole thing.

And then she just, isn't that crazy? I'm like, you are crazy. You are the crazy person. She acts as if like she like this crazy thing happened to her. It's like you were the one who perpetrated the craziness, ma'am. She's just such a braggart, you know, it's just so her. Like, the show is like, I get it about being rich and stuff like that.

It's just what's always bothered me about her is it's just so much effort. It's supposed to be effortless, like I'm rich. Look at me. It's not like, oh my god, I have to redo every cabinet in this house. I drew everything and it's like, oh, it's just so. But Orange County has never been anything but thirsty wealth.

And I actually think it's kind of refreshing to see like big time wealth because the wealth factor on the show has kind of like dropped down a lot season after season where we're like looking at, you know, like, Gina's like two bedroom apartment and Elizabeth Bargis' little, you know, her seaside thing and it's just, you know, it's not the shame those kind of accommodations, but I just feel like on this show, the glamour factor, not that it ever was like glamour, like we traditionally think of glamour but no see it's never been glamorous But it's nice to see like an uptick. I think in the in the wealth department on this sort of show and the splashiness I should say so

Wow the captain is that is crazy wow and Heather's like oh and this is chef Nick and genius is high chef Nick oh my god a bit she's a joy to cook for. And Shannon starts laughing, because you know that Heather's just a fucking nightmare. Heather opens a fridge and it's all matching items. It's like everything's the color of a squeezed grapefruit. Yeah, and we didn't have there, like really get on Terry's case once because you wanted an onion ring at his own birthday party. And she's like, no, you don't get onion rings.

So, um, I think it was for the bar. I think it was that, that Western cake party. Oh, no, maybe it was a Western thing. I thought it was the, the, you, it might have been the cake party. I think actually he wanted it for the cake party and then he finally got it for the Western party. So, um, Shana has, well, I, uh, I'm not gonna lie,

having seen that refrigerator that has shelves. Well, just reminds me I used to have a refrigerator with shelves, mine's now just one big empty space with tape I put over it to say, no, Shanna, no. Interesting, I have a refrigerator in a hallway. So I feel lucky, I feel lucky. You know, it's nice that you have a sub-zero refrigeratorader Mines just called zero. It's not even a sub. That's crazy. Jean is still rubbing it in. She thinks the shaman. Did you have a fridge like that?

She's living here. Do you miss it? Shaman? She goes, well, I'm not gonna lie. I'm having it. Brings up some my My almost my fourth child. So I'm at House we built with has a lot of memories in it good and bad and we see clips of them playing basketball and then crying about David and emotions. It's all Bree Upper asshole. It's all black and white and they're doing these like pans through like slow mo pans with these empty rooms and they literally are playing wind sound effects like with these empty rooms and they literally are playing wind sound effects like whew, like this windy spooky, ethereal, former life that she had. And she's like, well, I haven't actually been in this neighborhood since we moved out. And I'm not saying that I'm triggered. But let's just say I'm just going to go into that bathroom for about 10 minutes. And if you see

any water under the under the doorway Just know it's my tears and I know that Shannon used to have a lot more money But that house was nothing like this house Do you remember when Heather first walked through her house? That was so funny was it whenever they saw each other's houses the first time It was hilarious because if you put those two scenes side by side it is the same I mean Shannon walked through Heather's like well,, look at that. Well, we do have um, air filters built into the actual sinks, which is crazy because sinks are for water. But I know it's like, oh really? Because I drew the air filters and we sleep on them. We actually sleep on air filter beds. Oh, well,

the tears actually imported from the North Pole at the cleanest air in the world, and we bring it in by the truckload and just blow it into the house. So this house is by the way, it's so big that then how there's like, okay, let's keep going with the tour. It's like, wait, there's more of this tour. We've already seen like 15 rooms and we're going to see more now. And Shannon's like, well, I haven't even been at this neighborhood once since I left it. And there's like not once since you've moved out what? As she pours a champagne, you know, she doesn't have the code to get in this

neighborhood. How do you think she is going to be getting into this neighborhood? Is this your car not not have not have enough horsepower to get up the hill to this neighborhood? No, okay. So now they go up to the master bedroom and they're like, wow, wow, not everything. I feel like so small in here. I was like, well, you know, we actually have a California king, but this room is actually so big. The size of three football fields that everything seems small. So then everything else had to be custom made. So that way I would fit the proportion. I was like, wow, this is just like, I'm like

both like I, I, I, I am enjoy, I'm deeply enjoying this tour because I've wanted to see it for so long in the proper bravo way. But also like she's such an asshole. She is such an asshole. I mean, my God, there are hungry people in the world. I'm not saying, don't enjoy your money, but this is just like, this is just like drilling into the ocean, kind of money. You know what I mean? It's just like drilling, it's like, I don't care, I got my gas,

like little seagulls come out covered in oil. I don't know, it's just gross. The whole thing is just gross to me. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. So it's too much, it's just too much, it's just what I'm saying. I had it's like, how about this, and that when you come out of a shower,

check this out, hot towels. And she has a drawer that has hot towels in there. This is her thing. This is gonna be where the hot towels are. So now we see the hot towels. And Tina's like, oh my God. I don't even know if I can be friends with you. Check their delicious hard day.

And I love that right when they walk out of the bedroom, Tina's only question. I mean, they're in a mall bedroom. And Gina goes, you got a California king. Shannon is now like really at the lowest over low. She's like, oh, wow. It's nice to see that there's some warmth in this house in that drawer. Okay.

Well, Morgan, David and I ever had. And so then they go. California king is now someone else's California King. So this is fun. So then they go into the closet, you know, which is always the big thing on housewives and it's human dishes. You've even got a library ladder in there.

And Jimmy goes, oh my god, this is so bow. This is bow. This is bow. Shannon's like, excuse us excuse this. What is that? What is that? Like who is what what who is who is about and and has she been around David and just like you know from Beauty and the Beast. I I'm not

familiar. I know this like oh well you can have it too. Gina just be born into wealth. Mary, a guy whose dead brother left him tens of millions of dollars and boom, warm thousand a big closet. So this tour finally comes to an end and we go over to Nuella at Nicole's house. And you know, say what you will about Nicole. You know, I judge a lot of these bravo liberties based on the spread that they make for their guests.

And you know, on New Jersey, you got Jennifer Aiden, who takes the supermarket thing and take the plastic off of it and puts it out. But I will say, Nicole did a lovely Sharku to respray. So my hat is off to you, Miss Nicole Mies. A man. A man. So no, well, no, you, Miss Nicole Mies. Jam. Jam. So, Noel, Noel comes over and she's like, ah! They start screaming like it's the first time

they've ever seen each other in the bathroom. And Nicole opens champagne, they talk about the babies, and Noel's still in love with the baby. And she talks about how I'm a full-time mom, full-time hell. I live with my mom. The first time we look together, then Crystal Cove, my husband said, this is where your mom's gonna stay.

I mean, my mom's my best friend. I knew that. Nance, so then they go outside and, and while I was saying, like, you know, Nicole, like you just like really stand out from like other moms. Like I call the PTA moms, I call them the Lululemon ponytail brigade, you know,, cuz like when you meet one you've met them all I'm like no, I hate to break it to you, but

You two you are one of them Hate to break it to yeah, okay, yes, ain't that the gingerbread calling the thin mint a cookie. Oh, sure. So noelle is like, but noelle is like, well, I often feel like the black sheep, both figuratively and literally because I actually am 25% sheep. But I literally feel like a sheep, because I'm a sheep. I'm actual, I was raised on a farm in New Zealand

and I came over and it's been an experience and adjustment. Um. But she acted about how she was a welfare child but her mom started a law practice so she got to see both sides growing up, you know, being rich and poor. And Noella says, you know, I mean, I just feel like when I'm around these women, I just have to like dumb myself down to be

around them. I mean, God, I would do like it, just being myself. And she's tells us that she's the best friend you could ever have. And she's a bad bitch to the end. But I also have some bodies of buried ex friends. I just showed him to her of her with Bronwyn. Yeah. So, and by the way, the reason why she said she felt like literally a black sheep is because

we also see that she is mixed race. So Nicole's like, you have an amazing husband, okay? And every, I always say, every successful man needs a strong billboard and also a wife is helpful too. Yeah, well, he is who he is because of my great blow jobs. Oh, and Nicole's like, oh, jeez, she's like hiding her face. She's like, with the blow jobs again. So I, well, listen, I'm married to sweet James and he's a very talented attorney. And I love the Perth.

Private Gay, private planes mansion, huge houses, a gym, a sex dungeon, couple living rooms, a play room. Oh, and an elevator doesn't suck. I'm gonna be broke in less than a season. I was like, we've watched Real House once at Beverly Hills, we know how this goes. And so then the scene basically, it's basically a scene where she talks a little bit more

about Sweet James and then the scene ends with a close-up of that big, beautiful spread that neither one of them even touched. Yes. So then now it's time to get ready for Heather's big party. So Dr. Jen is powdering her boobs and Ryan's dipping her up and Travis is hugging Gina and Shannon's like, ah, Archie, no, he just, that dog's up to my leg. What is he trying to say? Is my leg that big? It's do I have a big foot? Do I have a big foot?

Am I big foot? Do I look like, do I look like a Yeti? Am I a Yeti? Are you saying I'm a Yeti? Am I monster? Am I monster? I get to go to the party. I don't know the kids.

It's like, look at Jim, I'm your Bouchie. She goes, what does that mean? Bouchie, I hear that all the time. Yeah, Bouchie and the Beast. And so the time. Yeah, boozy and the beast. And so Emily and Gina call each other from their own cars. And Emily's like, how are you feeling? I'm happy to be dressed, but I'm uncomfortable because it's like, I'm stressed. Shandon just keeps calling us all the time.

Everything's a problem with her always. Yeah. And Emily's like, so Shandon called me last night and she kept saying, Emily, you're an attorney, you need to find this information about Nicole. I mean, like, what am I supposed to do this information? Like, bring this up at a dinner party? Oh, yeah, I guess I'll do that. Yeah.

And Emily's like, I was typical Shannon. Like, she likes to stir up trouble on the DL. So everyone's like, you know, whatever, you know, typical Shannon. So then we see a clip of Bronwyn being like, well, you know, it's typical Shannon. So then we see a clip of Bronwyn being like, well, you know, Shannon told me I needed to do my own research on Elizabeth so I did. And I can say, you know, she can, there are people that can manipulate,

but you have to be the one that's manipulated, you know? Yeah. Bronwyn got absolutely roasted for Googling, Elizabeth Fargussgaz by the audience and by the cast members. But the funny thing is here's Shannon again and be like, you gotta let this up. You have to look it up. You're a lawyer.

You have to look it up. You have to look it up. I would never snoop on anyone. Never. Yeah. So they're like at typical Shannon. So then Emily says that Shannon just likes to be the victim and she's like, you know, the whole thing is absurd.

Like, I feel bad getting to know Heather and Shannon would just have told, you know, like Shannon should have told her that stuff. And now I didn't tell her, now that this is going to be bad at me. And listen, have this a lot richer than Shannon. Okay. This Shannon, have a California king. No, we got to fix this. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, um, they're, they're just basically, she's like, basically, Gina concludes that, you know, if anything, they realize that if anything goes down, there are going to be the

ones blamed for storing it up, but then at the same time, they're like, you know what, if the situation arises or anything's being discussed, I have no problem telling Heather what's going on. So we know it's obviously, they're gonna tell Heather, right? Yeah, of course. So these two, of course, these two are total tattletails and I love it. So at least the party being set up, and I don't know if you noticed this,

but this was this crack. Of course I did. There was a ice sculpture with Heather's initials that said HD, but it was in the same font as high definition. I was like, it's basically a corporate logo as your eye sculpture. I don't know. For personal reasons.

It's also the scariest thing that's ever happened to housewise. So she's in her closet and she's already dressed in everything but she just wants to have a scene where she's pressing her button that says press for champagne. So she does. And it's like, oh my god, Max from Nobo, Max did you shave Max. Oh, you know, I say this button must be a design flaw,

because whenever I push it, no one brings me shamps, but you are Max, it works. He's like, my name is Peter Mann. Yeah. My name is Peter. So she's like, okay, so here's the place here is the plan Okay, first we're gonna meet at the in the salon not the salon because the salon is actually my hair salon But the salon is where we meet okay, and then like maybe it rather like sunset when the lights just

Someone's gonna bang the dog then we're gonna open the trap door someone will fall in They'll get you by alligators and we'll have a tribute Okay, and we've already pre-made several different slideshows, so whoever dies will load up the proper slideshow. We'll all cry, there'll be a cake, yada yada yada. You know, and then we're gonna have this, we're gonna do that, we're gonna have fire dancers, we're gonna do this. Oh, and you know, that girl's, she doesn't eat restrictive carbs. So then there's that one. It's just like cutting it all together. I just love the restrictive carbs that cracked me up so then

The some ladies the first to arrive are talking. We don't really know them and they're chatting and someone's like Oh my god, what about your horses and she's like oh, we have three horses running in one day and then The cast starts to arrive channa's first and check. Oh Hello. Hello non TV people What are we doing? Shannon is gonna be non TV people here. Hello Extras great Shannon is her I don't know what's going on with her hair

But it looks like she's going to a winter formal at USC. She's like, I'm ready to read leave my winter formal days Interformal at USC. She's like, I'm ready to really have my winter formal days. Ha, ha, ha, it's just a new look I'm trying out and everything. And then Dr. Jen arrives next and she's like, Hi, I'm Jenny. Nice to meet you. Yeah, we, Shannon, we met at the, at the Val Renuel and someone goes,

who had a renewal and she kind of goes, ah, probably, probably, Broadway, the NFL, no. Just so haunted by it still to this day. And she goes, wow, apparently I met Jen at Broadway and she found her new all, and then we see a clip of Jen and just wasted it at the party dancing. And she was like, you know, the whole thing about the thing is, you know, it's a thing and

There's some to no water water water That very new all that that reception needs to get more credit as being one of the funniest drunk shant and moments of all time That was such a sloppy sloppy episode. It was kind of like It was just It was kind of like, it was just, it was amazing. So then everyone else is arriving and, you know, Gina's there. Hi. And they're just like, they're just talking about

half years and about how they're paid, you know, paid the bill and everything and had to say, yeah, well, don't worry. Shannon already paid me back and just got to Shannon with a straw just literally. Yeah. Hi, she did. And Gina's over there and she sees Heather.

She goes, oh my God, she goes, oh my God, you're so Audrey Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, I love it. I love it. So then Emily comes, everybody's there basically. And Gina's like, you know, Shannon is just so much self-aware. She was like super eager to share her juicy gossip. But then the right thing to do is to tell Heather, I just don't think I'm capable of pretending

that this is okay. Oh, so we see what's coming. And Nuella and Nicole arrive at Nuella's and her full clown sleeves again, her clown pyres. Yes. And we just sort of see these like quick clips of this party just going disasterously wrong and it culminates with Heather going up her staircase and kicking everyone out of the house.

So Heather's trying to get rid of the cameras again and that's something that they accused Heather of before when she was on before was being really mean to the cameraman, being really shitty to everybody. And then just being like, no, I will not film this. Like when Heather, when they got in the fight in the Japanese restaurant, where Kelly called her the C word, and she had left and she went and yelled

at all the cameraman and production, was like, I will not do this. It's the kind of show that you want. It's the kind of show that you want. It's the kind of show that you want. And so it's interesting. Old Heather's back really quickly. It's back. I thought it was a great episode.

I can be duped. Some of these shows have great, great episodes and then go downhill from there. But I thought it felt right. I felt like it was in the pocket. Me too. I'm super excited to have it back. And glad to see it doing well.

I mean, obviously we liked it. This is God. So, like, it's a two hour recap. This is where ridiculous. We need to stop this. Recaps, it's fine. They did this and they did this and so far. I mean, who's so easy right now at an hour? Listen, if we have things that if they're things, if we're inspired and there's things that we are excited about and want to talk about, we got started, we talk about them. Okay. Because it's damn it. It's a god of skin.

Listen, it takes a big house to talk about it. It takes a big podcast episode to talk about a big house. You know, it was a special premiere. It's okay, don't worry about it. All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being with us. We will be back actually now with Selling Sunset. That'll be our next video.

That'll be our next bonus episode. So good Patreon, slash watch what crap ends. Buh-buh-buh. Go get tickets over at watchupcrapins.com for the live show. And we'll see you on Mondays, 7 p.m. 10 p.m. Eastern. For take seat on the green room app. Okay, do it. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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