Watch What Crappens - RHOC: The Shady in Red

Episode Date: September 12, 2017

Birthdays galore this week on Real Housewives of Orange County. Shannon gets emo, Eddie makes blowjob jokes, and Vicky unwraps a huge underhanded shade bomb for her frienemy. **This week’s premium bonus is a recap of LuAnn’s one on one with Andy. For bonus episodes and extras, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Kelly Grants Cindy Burgess Gerson just saying Kelly Barlow and Christy Dowerty we love you girls hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeo Brahms I'm Roni Karam from the RosePrix Bachelor in Paradise podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous amazing wonderful energy to little friend Ben Mantelka of the B-side blog and the banter blender podcasts.

Yes. Hi everyone, hello, hello. Ben you did it. I did it. I'm here. I've made it it Tuesday. Woo. We did it every night. I've been a really, really rough road of it. Wait Wednesday, isn't it Tuesday? I said Tuesday. Oh, I thought you said Wednesday. I made it Wednesday. No. My brain is in Wednesday, but my soul and my corporeal body isn't Tuesday.

Well, when you're a thin, good looking man, when isn't hump day? Right, ladies? Stop it. Stop it. Ladies, you are crazy. Would you believe it? It's only Tuesday. See you next Wednesday.

Would you believe it? I still have to have a hump day, even without Tom. Andy, it's been difficult. Even I still have to have a hump day, even without Tom. Andy, it's been difficult. Every time hump day comes, I just think I could have had the pentals. This used to be my pentals. It used to be a hump day dance team. This used to be the place I went to whenever Tommy needed cookies or some wine and we're we out of time. So, uh, okay, sorry. This opening should give you guys a pretty

good idea of where we're at today. Yes, bonkers, Bill. On this fine Tuesday. I think because real housewives of Orange County has been so amazing. Yeah. Just bought. Yeah, I mean, people have been hating on it, but I, I enjoyed last week, I enjoyed this week. Although admittedly, I watched this episode late at night, and I got sleepy toward the very end.

I didn't have time to re-watch the last 10 minutes this morning. So, I mean, I have notes to it, but you may need to be my guide a little bit, because my notes are probably things like, Gina looks Asian now, you know, that's it. Gina really does location now, though. That's a good note. Yeah, it's a good note. And in a good way, you know? But,

they're with Gina. I mean, it's a little bit much. And Lizzie too. There's like a lot of all sorts of rounds. There's a lot of rounds just pulling back their faces. Like, what are you guys hoping for? What exactly do you think is gonna happen here? That's an ongoing question for all of Orange County.

What exactly is happening here? It's like when you go out with that X and they're like, I just wanna catch up. And then you get there and it's just too much. And you're like, oh, good. You realized way too late. I'm way higher end mediocre than you originally gave me credit for.

You know, like when you're nearing your 40s and everybody's like, well, that guy was at least nice and they call you again. It's like, no, you can't even get me now. You asshole. That's how I feel like Gina and Lizzie are. It's like you guys know it's over. It's over. It's all over, but the crying stop hurting yourself. So I'm not one of the guys that's a quote from garbage, also an appropriate word to summon. So, so the episode begins with Vicki on the phone with Brianna and she's planning her, like her big birthday party and she's like, I'm going to be black and white. And I have to be black and white, but I'm going to be wearing red. And I'm like, so is this to celebrate newspapers because those are black and white and red all over.

Hey, oh, that is so picky too. She's like, I want to celebrate it. Black and white and red all over. My birthday. What? What? What's black and white and black and white and red all over?

What? A non-felling dead is staircase. I don't get it. No, that's not what I bet. That's not what I bet at all. Wait, what do you mean? Like a penguin getting shot. What? Huh? I mean, my birthday. She's like, I'm not what I bet. That's not what I bet at all. Wait, what do you mean? Like a penguin getting shot, what huh?

I mean my birthday. She's like, I'm gonna wear red and we're gonna do a roast Brando goes, that's the worst idea ever Like what I'm supposed to get up and talk crap about you and she goes, no, no, no It's gonna be about people big dice. That's what a roast is. It's like where people people are nice They're like here's a roast, you know, like I bear it at all diet or whatever. Here's a roast. She's like, no, it's nice. Like I put lamb in the oven for three hours

and here's the roasts and you now see nice things about it. She's like, no mom, it's really make fun of you, okay? You're too sensitive for this. You're gonna be crying in the bathroom the whole time. And she's like, no, they won't. Like if they tease me, it's gonna be like, they're gonna talk about how like, you know, that lady, she taps like, she, uh, she taps her figures. You know how she taps her figures? It's like you. It's like, mom, here's what's

going to sound like. Hey, that lady, that Vicki Gunless, and she's always tapping her fingers and inventing cancer scams. Bloody piggy anybody. Hey, Cretchon, love your chin. Love it less on Vicki. It's like Vicki, you do not want this. Okay, you don't want it. You don't want to go down this path. Yeah, and it's like you'll cry. She is, well, I don't

want to cry, but birthday. Stupid. So Kelly and Peggy are next up. And you know, Kelly is only allowed to go into stores recently. It's like the only place they allow her to shoot. She's always in a store. They have like animal control piecing outside with like a tranquilizer just in case. And I like that Kelly is always shocked and amazed by every single thing that happens. Peggy's like, hello, my daughters work here and she's like oh

Really you work here wow Like this is Joe Carla and Joe Kabuchi and she's like geo and geo How cool is that wow, it's like G&G music factory, huh? That's that's a little something for you Kelly that you can take for your take for the next season. You can use that. Kelly is like, don't worry. I won't be trying anything on. I had some you know some surgery. She's like, oh cancer.

No, no, no. It was you know something getting tightened up. Oh, no, no, no, just bad. I'll rejuvenation. She's like, oh, no, no, just badge on rejuvenation. She's like, oh, why was it loose? And if she starts laughing, she goes, no, wasn't loose. Really, because rims. No, that's the next thing I'm tightening.

By the way, we should mention that last week when we were hanging out with Kelly, I think she mentioned MC Hammer or you mentioned her whatever. And then on the drive back, we passed like a casino and it was like coming next week, MC Hammer, it felt very much like a sign for something. And today's it is. But we didn't know what. Yeah. I was like, that has to mean something.

That's one of those things in life that that's just not a coincidence. The MC Hammer is coming here to this casino, this Indian casino. Like, come on guys. Like I've been saying yesterday and pretty much all for the past few weeks, I've been watching a lot of Twin Peaks, and you know what, these things are not accidents. It's all linked and somehow someone's gonna wind up

in the black lodge. Okay, I'm just saying it, okay, that's it. Well girl, I was raised on Twin, the Bible, okay? Twin Bibles. Yeah. It signs mean something. I mean if if MC Hammer on You know Indian because you know sign right after Kelly told us let's get MC Hammered is not the burning bush I don't know what is okay everybody sacrifice your sons go God said burning bush, I don't know what is, okay? Everybody sacrifice your sins. Go, God's sad.

I get concerned talking about the burning bush and Kelly discussing vaginal redripe duvenation. It's all kind of links. So I said burning bush, so I have to take a moment and give a shout out to yoga for Jesus because my sister told me this story. She's like, there's this lady who has this YouTube show that I know and it's called Yoga for Jesus.

And she's like one of those real funny ladies, you know? Well, yeah, Yoga for Jesus, that's amazing. And she was talking about a Bravo housewife show. So I told her to listen to your podcast. And I was like, well, she'll love some Bible jokes if she's a funny yoga for Jesus lady because I love some Bible jokes. So she's a funny yoga for Jesus lady, because I love some Bible jokes. So if you're listening yoga for Jesus, you go back.

And anybody who does yoga, and likes Jesus, go do yoga for Jesus. And I also want to give a shout out to yogurt for Jesus. Anyone who enjoys having yogurt in the name of Jesus, you know, God bless you. Yogurt planet is in his hands. He's got a in his hands. And go go go go plan it. Let's hear a shout out to our go-girt fans go-girt anyone. Speaking of sticks of go-girt we then see Lydia and Lydia is walking with Megan and of course like Megan

really knows how to kick off a scene we hear her go my mom's in town and she wants to go well watching I'm just glad I can go because I had a baby you heard She does sort of sound like a whale yeah, I can go like go well watching It's like what Gigi's hearing like Gigi tells Well watching we go well watch well is like oh Well, it's like please stop watching me that whale needs better posture. No, it's like, oh, the whales like, please stop watching me. That whale needs better posture. No, it's supposed to be a humpback. They just stay into the water.

They're like, guys, sorry, this is the first whale watching tour where the whales have refused to come up of the water. Look. It's not fear. Well, your bitch is guys, sorry. Okay. Well, there is a theory. Well, there bitches guys, sorry. Okay.

Well, there is a theory. Here first, there is a theory that dogs did evolve from whales. Oddly enough. Really? I'm pretty sure that's I don't want to rock any evolutionist. Oh, good. Haitianist brains right now. Can you imagine standing around trying to wait for a whale to poop.

I would just die. It'd be like that's it. I'm beating you out here. Hey guys, I gotta go walk my whale. Excuse me. Just Megan on a whale watch boat with like a leash that's down in the water. Moby's a dick because he's taking 20 minutes to poop. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It goes the other way around. That dog's evolved into whales. Yeah, that I have a harder time believing. I can imagine some dumb dog running out into the ocean and be like, oh, well, well, this is me now. Yeah, I don't see that. I can see a whale kind of washing up

and then just learning to, you know, like eat paper towels or something until round happiness. But I can't see a dog being like the ocean's great. So I let it all have a little Joseph science. Yeah, Bill, my decides guy. So Lydia is Lydia and she talking about Doug's firm. Yeah, they're talking about Doug's firm speaking of whales and

She's like, yeah, but we might put some in the fridge because you know Maybe when one seven is stopped sobbing about the possibility that we could die in the Spartan race Maybe all what one more is always nice to have like a pussy in the house. Do you know what I mean? I mean, it's like yeah, so she goes Lydia's knowledge cracks her up. She's like, uh, so she goes, um, Lydia's knowledge cracks we up. She's like, so what happened to the drag queen? It's all one big nightmare to refer to in her mind, you know, yeah, Lydia's because Lydia was like traumatized because she was

like, everyone was just fighting and talking about marriages. And I just couldn't take anymore. I guess that you realize that's what what's always happening on this show at all times, right? Yeah, like why are you you're the one cutting off your husband's balls? Like you keep saying that every week. What are you judging? And she's like, I was having fun before that. And then like, you didn't look like you were having fun when I was there.

And Lydia crosses her arm like her arms and like just like kicks the sand like a little kid. Yeah. And Lydia's like yeah well was uncomfortable yeah. I was stressed like a man listening to sexual indiwendo. Oh no Lydia. Oh no. To be fair, they put her in the worst drag king outfit of all time. I mean, some weird amaciated, Charlie Chaplin situation. I mean, yeah. I would also feel uncomfortable. And I actually get, I'll say I'm not going to take that away from her because I'm, I'm, I've never done drag and I actually feel like I would be a little uncomfortable in it too. And I don't think it has anything to do with. Well, good. understand this PSA. I'm about to make everybody good You're not supposed to feel comfortable at a drag show. That's the point. They mock you. They roast you

They make fun of you. I don't make a mistake. I don't make a mistake As in dick jokes about every single thing to be as tacky and disgusting as possible because they're like you know dark clowns Black humor clowns. You're not supposed to be like, shit. On your deck, you know, it's like a drag queen. Like that's the kind of jokes, you know, like you're not supposed to feel comfortable. It doesn't mean that Jesus is telling you not to be comfortable. It's because the dude in fake boobs and a huge wig that's rhyming everything with the C word on purpose is making you feel comfortable on purpose

That's why you laugh and have fun. I guess Exactly exactly if you do She's just she just used to being around Lizzy and Gretchen So she just assumed drag queens would act a certain way and she was shocked to actually meet a real drag queen I mean at least those girls have marriages. Like a, it's not the same. Yeah. I've never heard Gretchen make dirty words out of B

just because she was calling a ball. Okay, okay, Lydia. Sit down, Lydia. Have a seat. So Megan is now complaining about Kelly, because she and Kelly had a big fight at hamburger marries. And Megan's like, something's all up with Kelly because she tries to hurt. That's what she tries to do.

She tries to hurt. It's like anti-knowledge. And then she's like, well, to be fair, you try to, you kind of did the same thing to her. And Megan's like, it's not the same for her to say, my husband's having a affair on me. When I'm seven months pregnant, that's not the same. And yeah, she's like, if it was the same,

she would detects it me saying, you're having an affair at seven months, prognets, whatever. The whole difference here is the seven months pregnant part, which you'd that you don't get a pass for that. Okay. You get to get sat on the airplane first. Isn't that enough? Yeah. That enough, Megan.

But for some reason, that's like her whole fight. And also Megan, you started it. Okay. like her whole fight and also Megan you started it Okay, we've all seen the text where you fucking started it Exactly, which is why which is why Lydia's like I'm kind of on her side Which then sent mega mayor's like really Lydia I didn't the fire alarms for a whole city going off. I didn't make it and went to the strange blaze that she's like, and my baby's at home right now.

And she's going to get a bottle because I'm hugging with you, Lydia. And I don't want to breastfeed my baby. I want to breastfeed, but I can't because of you. I'm with you, Lydia. And you say that. I'm like, what, what has happened? Where is this like mental goo coming out of that? I don't understand this right now.

And who have forced you to abandon your child, the hike? And by the way, it's not gonna be a trauma to the baby that it received a bottle, but a bottle, a bottle this morning, okay? This is not like, you have not now like, changed alter the path of the baby for all time because you went on a hike and the baby got a bottle. Yeah, any more opportunities to suckle your nips. If anything, you're going to be

getting a thank you card from the goddamn baby. Like thank you. At least I had a fucking hour where you weren't like tinkling my face and saying, baby, hi baby, I'm a mom. Hey baby, I'm your mom. Did you know that you're my baby? I'm a baby. It's you. And I like Lydia's reaction to Megan sister. She's like, she's like, I never was hysterically crying in the middle of a mountain. I've been sad when I was pregnant, but I'm never quite on the side of a mountain. So things wrong here. And then how see, how she reacts to Megan is so perfect because Megan's like using her Baby is a shield which is so like middle ages. She's like shoot the baby

She's basically holding that baby out as a shield and Lydia's showing her what good parenting is because she's like I didn't mean to hurt your feelings All I was trying to say was the two people can be right and two people can be wrong popsicle popsicle booty booty Unfortunately you on the side of a mountain bitch You don't get to just go you you are stuck walking nested this all in Skeleton all the way back down enjoy the fact that she does not like drag queens and she doesn't care That you had a baby and that you're a horrible person and you're getting called out for it and Megan's acting like she's doing Lydia the biggest favor to hang out with her. She's like I'm leaving my baby to have a balanced life with my friends

Like oh, sorry. I should have known better not to say something that was like slightly Contrary to what you were saying because you did Me the big favor of leaving your baby for the morning like yes relax Yeah, you're an asshole and your baby probably will be too Megan. Okay shut up. Yeah, also can we clarify something? So last week we went on this rant about Megan saying that she's co-sleeping and then some people are were like, you guys, you guys are like, you gay guys, like you don't get to talk about parenting. We weren't criticizing the act of co-sleeping

and we don't care if she has a baby in a bassinet next to the bed. We just think it's funny that it's been given like an official term, it's been formalized into co-sleeping. You know what I was just like, it's a big ambassar. I didn't even know, I really didn't even know what it was.

I thought it meant like when you're sleeping with your baby. That's what I was like being a killer or a cosleeping. Like, look, we ignorant, you know? Like literally on stuff like this, we're ignorant. We have no idea. We still don't know how a vagina works. How many times have we talked about parts of the vagina because of these shows and people are like,

you guys seriously, you still don't know? Like we have been sent diagrams of different vagina parts and explained exactly how they worked. There's just something when you don't have to, you know, live a certain life that you're just your brains like, I don't need this. And it yeah, yeah. Exactly. We just think it's funny that there's a term called co-sleeping because it's

such a, like a, it's just such a formal way to say my baby's sleeping the same room. Yeah, like you know my baby whatever it is, you know, my baby or partners. Yeah, it's just we're just making fun of the term. So if that triggered you, sorry, we don't want to. Sorry, sorry, but sometimes also, yeah, we'll try and purposely, this is what we do. We'll try and purposely trigger y'all over stupid shit, but not stuff like that. Like, we thank God for mothers, you know, we wouldn't be here and thank God we don't never have to do it.

We can just like, pat you guys on the head and thank you for continuing the human race and stuff. So we never want to offend a mom. This is what Ron, Ron and I like to call it co-triggering as we are triggering people together on topics of parenting. That's what we have Casper mattresses. Crapins.

Casper knock on Crapins. You got Crapins, okay? I could have been breastfeeding my baby right now instead. I'm having to describe co-sleeping and my feelings on it. We're co-crapening. We're co-crapening. We're co-crap. Speak of co-crapening. We then cut to Tamra, who is, she's putting butter and eggs

on her kitchen island. And I'm like, what is Tamra's storyline these days? She has really not had a storyline in two years. It's all been about, like last year was about competing a fitness competition. This year is like a little bit of the eraser stuff. And now it's like running spartan. Now she's putting eggs on a counter.

This is her story, you know? Yeah, and if anybody should be triggered right now, it's Tamra with all that cream cheese when she works so hard on her body. I can't believe she was like, but, but, every time she hit the kid, kid's an aide. So she's apparently making a cheese gage and she puts all this stuff in a bowl and she gets out her hand mixer And they just show her for like five to ten seconds like mixing it But does it all come to put around the things you just hear the mixer going against the ball going like And for some reason I thought it was so funny. It was like the perfect visual and audio metaphor for Tamra's life

I'm a positive music from Garage Band. It's like, it's a new day with Tamra. She found Jesus. And Creasy. She's like, no, no, no. It sounded like, like, metal thwacking ceaselessly against the side of the bowl, and the hopes of making something sweeter and more lovely. That is Tamra's life.

Yeah, you can make the devil, like, an icon, what am I trying to say, not an icon, but like a cartoony little figure for sports or something that everybody's supposed to read for. But at the end of the day, Satan will still eat your babies right out of your womb, okay? Satan is Satan.

Cut the cream cheese, cut the positive music. Just let me see Satan. Tamra, come back to Satan. Stop hiding. Satan is more entertaining than whatever this is that you're doing right now. Come back. If I can indulge in one more Twin Peaks reference, we want Tamra's Bob Pizzest doppelganger to come back. Yes. I want Tamra Barney. Okay. Yeah. Bob, Bob, get into Tamra's body. God. She's like, chill.

It's like, oh, she just called us Batch. So, uh, Vicki calls. Uh, Tamer's like, oh my God, I didn't even hear who called me Batch because I'm so busy at Kestionating. I'm like, I'm sure. Like Eddie's gonna eat a cheesecake anyway. So if it can suck right, I was gonna be catching it in the background.

This is awkward, it's hard for me. But I just wanted to take the first initiative to see if you want to meet me for coffee. And Tim was like, uh, uh, what the fuck? Bad shit. You saw Bob starting to sleep back into her body. She's like,

we see the flashback to her like digging up Laura Palmer so she could kill her again. Here lies Shannon Palmer killed by Tamer's lack of loyalty. Well at least Laura Palmer's murderer apologized. At least people cared about Laura Palmer. So, Tamra shocked and think he's like that even alcohol, that even alcohol, just coffee. And she's like, why would I do that? But Tamra immediately has a big glass of shard me in her hand. And she's just listening. And because like, look, look, it's very awkward to be around to say hi.

What if it has to make the first step? So I'm doing it first step, first step. And then the cold. Tamra just like, Tamra just from has a brain part. She's like, ah, fine, fine. Okay, this is crazy. I'll do it. I'll do it.

And he's like, okay, okay. Stop talking, stop talking. It's making me nervous. Like fine. Okay, this is crazy. I'll do it. I'll do it. And he's like, okay, okay, stop talking. Stop talking. It's making me nervous. Stop talking. This is weird. Which was actually, it was kind of cute, you know, because it was one of those moments where you could see it thawing out, which was oddly nice.

Tamer was being a little joky, Vicky was being joky. And Tamer was like, I can't. I'm making a cheesecake right now. I can't focus. And then Vicky's like, why you make a cheesecake? You know, you can't do that. Like, what you do with that? Like, you're crazy. Like, I can't, I'm making a cheesecake right now. I can't focus. And then Vicki's like, why you make a cheesecake? You know, you can't do that. Like, what you do with that? Like, you're crazy.

It's like, I know. I was like, some like a big, funny moment. And this is like watching one of those time lapse videos of dead flowers coming to life in spring. Okay. You know, it's like everything's dead. And it's like it's over. And then suddenly the sun comes out

and everybody comes back to life. Yeah. I do not think Tamra has had this kind of energy in like two years. Like this is the fun part of Tamra. Like when she was laughing and how Vicki was making fun of her and they were both teasing each other and they both know that they've been dumb cut fitnesses

to each other and they know they're both wrong and they're like, oh my God, this is so much more fun talking to you, you know? And then you see the difference, what's he called, Shannon? And Shannon's like, oh, oh.

It's like, Shannon, what are you in a bath of rosé over there? What are you doing over there? And, and then I was like, hey, batch, so on minding my own business, make a man, cheesecake, Tim was like, Hey, batch. So I'm minding my own business, making my own cheesecake. As like, like, like, like, like almost like, I can't believe Vicki would call when I was making a cheesecake. And she's like, I'm baking call. And then she's saying, well, what's victim calling about victim with a capital V celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud. From the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. She wants a clearly ad!

She got fuck her! Like, whoa, okay, it's a little strong. Amazon Music or Wonder App. She wants to clear the ads! She got fuck her! Like, whoa, okay, it's a little strong. And Sadikas, Tamra is a much kinder person than me. And I was like, oh, well, oh, well, well, well, well. Oh, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. You're going to hell. If Tamra is kinder than you, none of you deserve to live.

Just new go see. Okay. Shining off and throw it in the ocean. So then we had like a little montage of Chamero clicking the cheesecake and came out looking surprisingly good. I was like, that's you made a cheesecake after all, batch. I'm sick of this. I'm not sure if that's supposed to be

bra. It's like that's how often you make a cheesecake. But you seem to have done it well and she's telling Shannon, I wouldn't mind sitting down with her and telling her how I feel. It's like that's how often you make a cheesecake. Yeah, but you seem to have done it well and she's telling Shannon. I wouldn't mind sitting sitting down with her and telling her how I feel. Yeah, I'm gonna tell her how I feel and Shannon's like, oh, I don't know, Shannon. I don't know what was going on with Shannon, but that was not a good time to catch Shannon.

She had just woken up from a nap where she's dreaming of peaceful things and Archie not spraying her with water. Archie, no! So happy with Archie, huh? My friend the other day was like I'm in the worst mood and I sent the gift of Shannon from the very beginning of the credits shaking off when when Archie shaking off on her. It's like my favorite gift to send friends. And she was like, that actually made me feel a lot better. Yeah, didn't it? So now we go over to Peggy, Peggy and Diko,

they're driving around talking about how Giovanna wants to go to school in LA and GNL wants to go to New York and for school, for New York. And they're they're driving I guess because apparently they're driving to drop off the Applications in the mailbox. Yeah, they have to go to the post office It's like post office applications. I'm Geeko So McCartes like is this new lip city wearing? She's like, why do you notice these things? Because I'm giving you the detention Because I'm giving you the attention. I'm giving you the attention you deserve.

I don't like attention. I'm sure your face looks like a baseball that's covered in Crisco, and you're wearing the kind of eyeshadow that glitter bowling balls have. Get the fuck out of here, you don't like it. And you just went speeding down the Pacifico's highway, and a black and white Lamborghini, okay? Based on Vicki's birthday party. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. That's what that is, lady. So she's like, I don't like attention. And then he goes, does a bear? She didn't know words. Where does the bear live? Before I answer, I need to know full story about bear. Is this homosexual bear?

Hopefully, the woods would not let it in. Is bear happy? Is bear dwelling on things? Gable or straight bear? Does he have a sister? Yes, she's going on. Bare hands on. Yes, she goes.

I don't understand slangs. If the bear lives in the woods, the bear is going to shit in the woods. What is the point of this? Of course. He's like, that's the point! Bear's shit in the woods because that's where they live. How about this? Bears don't poop. Yeah because that's where they live and she goes how about this bears don't poop

Yeah, that's My real yeah, and she goes I don't know slangs, okay What is not the list what is a call? Julie what report card is what cross-rechropping is it's bigger drop them phrases What is bear anyway? I don't even know what these things are. What is bear shopping? I'm getting a mixed up. Report bear. What is this? And then they like park at the post office and DeGa goes out to mail the application. There's

like different little like mailboxes and he gets confused and she's like he doesn't even know which mailbox to use Ha ha ha he doesn't even know what hole it goes in like our brother Armenians we use only one mailbox and it's mid of cardboard and gets passed around church I like what they're when they finally get there. She goes, I'll do it. And he goes, you get lost. Did you notice by the way that when he got back in the car and they drove off, she like put the seatbelt behind. Like she didn't wear her seatbelt properly.

And then they like sped off and she basically wasn't wearing a seatbelt. And she's talking about, she's talking about, she goes, she's saying that he's a bad driver. She's like, I have saved him from so many accidents. I'm like, well, guess what? You're not wearing a seatbelt. So maybe you should try the harder. When does this matter anything? You may be the head, but I'm the neck.

Good luck turning with no neck. Good luck, I no neck. Like a good one, if I do. Yeah. In our media, we say, wife's triangle neck on Thursdays. He's a joke. He's a joke. And their thing seems to be like she's really stupid and he can't do normal things like putting mail in a box or writing a check.

And this is like their cute fun times. It's not cute that you don't know how to use a mailbox, okay? It's fucking stupid, stopping proud of being so stupid, okay? Yeah. I feel like Peggy is just like not part of the show. Even though she like will have a coffee with someone or she'll meet someone in a store, she's not really doing anything. I mean, I'm finding her to be really funny, but she's not part of any storylines like almost a little bit on any level to anybody Even when she's with her kids, you know, she look they look like shocked that she's even dating to talk to them Yeah, and

And yeah, it's weird, but I'm enjoying her on the show. It is like a different show though. It's like the wacky Immigrants with a lot of money Yeah, she doesn't know who Santa Claus is. Yeah, I just don't understand why why she was cast. So um, maybe so Go ahead. No, you get your theory. Oh, no, no, no, no. Sometimes when I stop myself You know, that's great. Yeah, that's's got to ask speaking of God's hands We're back over to Megan and she's show she's back home with her mom her mom I showed up and she's like watch out for girlie girl make sure she doesn't pee on you

I'm like another exciting day in the life of Megan King Edmonds. Yes You're in from her dog. Yes, and you know why that dog piece on her we see because she's like don't let her pee on you I saw a drip don't touch her. Don't pet her. Well that's why the dog is so desperate for love whenever it sees somebody else Megan because you know she's like that don't touch the dog. She's just you know she's just she's just taking what Jimmy tells her and just project it onto the dog. Yeah, don't touch me again. No touch, Megan. Aspen is there with her Justice Headband, which I love. I love that Megan has forced her daughter

to live her Justice Headband lifestyle. Yeah, no, it's good. And Megan's like, the mom takes the baby and is like, Ha, let her baby. It's like she's shaking it. She's bouncing it up and down. Aspen crying having a fit Like get me the fuck out of here. Ignore me like I'm used to being ignored And Megan's looking at her mom like like totally confused and she goes it's so wild to think my mom was me

Or it's it's so wild to think my mom was me think my mom was me or it's it's so wild to think my mom was me. Um, and like she was with me the whole time I had IVF, like who can actually say they were there during their mom was there during the consumption of their child. It's like you might not want to bring that up at dinner parties. It's creepy. It is weird. And it's not as interesting an anecdote as you think. Yeah, it just means that your husband refused to talk to you. Yeah. Still even back then it's sad, Megan. It's sad.

Also, Megan was in dire need of pumping her boobs. We're like exploding through her shirt. I've never seen her boobs look so gay. They, I like one touch and I swear it would have been like Ghostbusters slimer situation happening there in that house. Psh. So Megan's looking at her mom with this sock as her mom's like shaking the baby and bow to get and talking to it like

the mom was fine with the baby. The mom was fine. It's too much shaking. She's huge. When the baby is crying, you don't just start shaking the baby. It makes you crazy. She wasn't shaking the baby. She was doing the little bump thing.

You know that little bump, that baby like rock a thing. You know, you know, you know, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. No, this is what it looks like. It's called co co-credeling co-credeling co-cids This is what it looked like to me I'm like well come down. It's a little tiny baby. Okay lady. So Megan's looking at her and then she goes Her parents you can buy it from watch her crap It's amazing to see how she mothered me, but from a distance. The world is don't touch Megan.

I like that when Megan reflects on her child and she starts to sing met midler. I remember when I was a baby from a distance. I was a baby once but up close we're all different people I'm a rose Because you are the wind beneath my diapers So useless scene with Megan isn't Complete without Megan blaming some rando for her own bullshit problems. She's like, what happened on the hike with Lydia was fucked up. I don't need the emotional burden that weighs on me when I already have enough emotional burden

of a newborn, because I'm a mom. I'm like, you're still an asshole, okay? Yeah. This is not children of men. You're not the last living mother in the world, okay? No kidding. It's not handmaid's tale. You don't like get to move to a richer household once you're like Squeeze out a baby for a rich dude. Yeah, I do want to say one thing I don't remember where it came up if she was it was out the hiking scene or this scene The Megan was basically saying that the difference between what she said to Kelly versus what Kelly said to her

Was that she basically was saying I just was asking Kelly like what's the to Kelly versus what Kelly said to her was that she basically was saying I just was asking Kelly like what's the deal with this and Kelly came back trying to hurt me and so I do I can totally I as much as we think she like yeah Megan did start it I can still is a subtle difference and I'm not going to take that away from Megan because like you know Megan there's a rude question to asking maybe she shouldn't have asked it on on text. But yeah, I mean, you know, Kelly does also different because she said, are you having to fare on her husband? And Kelly said, I heard your husband's having an affair on you with blah, blah, blah.

So it is a huge difference. And Kelly, of course, you know, goes low. Why is it? It isn't that isn't even the text fight is that they already talked about it. They already hugged and made up. And Megan's bringing that up in front of all the other girls to both. Exactly.

And it also gives her. And it's just not cool. She's not a good friend. She's not. And she also should know that if you're going to text Kelly Dodd, Kelly is always going to read something in the worst possible way. You know, because that's the problem with texting and email sometimes, is that you may ask a benign question like, oh, I heard this thing, are you having an

affair? Like, is everything like, is this like a weird, you should know about this rumor? But she could read it like, I heard you're having an affair. So like, you know, you can't, you have to be careful with your words, Ram Kelly. She's a disaster. And you have to be careful around your words, Ram Megan, because she screams on everything and prints it out for the entire class to see, okay? That's true. So then we go over to Shannon's house where her kids are making a little birthday cake sort of like continuing the cheesecake theme,

the birthday cheesecake theme. Her kids are making a cute little birthday cake for Shannon. And Shannon gets the gift, the greatest gift that she could have asked for on her birthday. A chance to have a teary-eyed conversation with David about the state of their marriage. Oh my God, Oh my God. Oh my God.

That is honestly, you know, that was like her greatest gift. Like she loves that. Oh, geez. And he's now see like there's two. Well, we can talk towards him in the scene because just getting through the scene is enough to see him. So he's like, whoa, you know, you're sitting on the couch. Here we are dear on the couch.

Hold in hands again. What were you doing last year at this time? Do you remember dear? It was a secret. I hadn't even told the kids dear. Like think of better times. Remember that time I rented the Maryott in the middle of the desert and made your friends all come

and we squashed the glass and I catered. I had a catered to make you happy for one time out of your entire miserable year. Remember that, huh? Yeah, and so so she's like well Where do we stand a year later and he's like well to be honest? He's like dear. I wish things were a little bit better. I'm like this is this is really like very cheerful conversation Have a word birthday dinner. I know but she's doing it. He's like, remember the good times, she's like, well, ha, well, where do we stand here later?

Like, oh, no, here we go. So then he says that like, he's like, well, well, dear, the last few months, I've been like really stressful for you. And you know, when you get stressed, I don't do so well when you're stressed. And you know, I pulled away from you because you were stressed and it's and so it's so it's basically blaming her and so she so then she she just passes it along and she's like well I was stressed about

Vicki because the thing is that she was saying I was so rude and I didn't know how you're gonna take them now I stressed so really you should be angry at Vicki. He's like, well, I wasn't angry here, but you were and that's okay and I couldn't convince you to move on. Oh, so it's my fault, huh? It's all my fault. You make me sound obsessed with Vicki. Almost just if I've gained weight and blamed her for every single calorie, David. It's like Val, David. David.

You do all that like your Vicki 60 So he he takes her hand 50 to 60 negative pounds and Vickstee Sorry, he takes he takes her hand to be like dear. It's gonna be okay, and she's like David David there's the first time you've held my hand in six months, David. He's like, dear, you're being crazy now, dear. The kids are in the next room. God. Well, it is what it is.

I don't want a bitch in the bone and complain, but at some point, I think we renewed our vows in the next second. You don't want anything to do with me. He's like, now, dear, that's not what happened. Oh really because things were so amazing. The text used to text me all day. I'm coming home late dear. I'll be home even later than I said. Okay tomorrow dear coming home tomorrow. What happened to those texts? Well dear I got a new data plan. Data plan. So now you're sleeping with a guy from Star Trek who wore a banana clip over his eyes Data has made me gain 30 to 40 negative pounds. I

Thought he was killed in Independence Day But here you are still sleeping with him Okay, now this whole argument the way that I read it and I'm sure most people read it is here's David trying to be nice on your birthday you refuse to let him you turn everything into a goddamn victim fight we're accusing everyone of hurting you all the time you're always a fucking victim nobody ever does anything for you all you do is sob. You ruin everyone's life with your fucking misery on the other hand.

Cause that was my first thought, but I didn't take it. I didn't take it. Let's admit that. I took it like that, but I was like on the other hand, it's got to be frustrating to be Shannon to have David not speak to you all year. Cause you know that's true. He even admitted in a nice way that he's been ignoring her ever since she started getting way and being stressed out again. He's ignoring her. He doesn't talk to her and the second the cameras are there. He's like, oh dear, hello, dear, and acting like everything's great. And she's like, okay, now you're gonna sit here on camera. Like, this is the one time you're gonna me. Oh, fucking year, fine. I'm gonna talk to you about what I need to talk about

because you won't even pick up your guy, damn phone, and the list of cameras are here. David. I mean, those are two extremes. I actually didn't feel, I was more down the middle. I took it as someone who's like, she's feeling shitty about herself. She's gained weight, she's feeling shitty about herself.

She's stressed from all this viky shit, and he's pulling away and she's like She's when she said she goes like what is it about me? What what happened? What a terrible way? I'm like I actually felt like that was a very Like raw real thing. I didn't feel like it was like I'm a victim thing. I felt like it was like like I She was sad. I saw it as like well, she was talking to us and crying and stuff. I feel like that's real. And I feel like all the stuff that she's going through

with him is real. It's just when you watch a show for a long time, and I think a lot of the internet commenting stuff is always like, well, of course he cheated because she's a naggy, you know, neurotic, this, this, this, and this. And I think that there is that mind. There is that judgment out there anyway.

And I know I know of sometimes gotten that, but not that you should just be able to cheat because you shouldn't like no matter what. He married her. But then I'm just saying I'm starting to see it from this other side where of course she knows she's not an idiot. She knows if she's sitting in a scene with this guy who is trying to do the right thing on camera or whatever, that if she keeps coming up against him with some kind of negative, argumentative kind of thing

on her birthday or whatever, she has to know that that looks weird. So I'm like, why would she do that? And I think it's as well. I don't think it's as like as much of, I don't think it's as complicated as that. I think she just is like, she feels really bad about herself at the moment. And David has pulled away because he shuts down

in these situations and it's like all consuming to her and she's like, she can't help. And that's what Shannon has always been about. Like she, when she is filled with emotion, she can't help. And this is what Shannon has always been about. Like, when she is filled with emotion, she can't help herself. And he opened up the can of worms by asking this question. She can't help but be like, like, what happened? Like, why do you don't use the text me all the time?

And like, I don't want to be the crazy person. But now I'm forced to be the crazy person. I don't want to be the crazy person. And I think it was just like, to me, someone playing the victim is like Megan. Okay, that's victimhood. Okay, this was just like, to me, someone playing the victim is like Megan. Okay, that's victimhood. Okay, this was just like someone who just, she wasn't happy with, she's the victim.

So I don't mean playing the victim like that. I mean, when people are being like, well, but what about this and what about that? It seems like always looking at the most dramatic side. You know, I'm saying that I've felt that about it, but I'm looking at the other side like, well, of course, this guy gets to like do what he wants and then come back nice on camera, you know,

and it may at least one person looking over emotional and cuckoo bird is basically what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, I think that, I mean, I think this is what we've always loved about Shannon over the years is that in moments like this, she really does contrast like ladle out this super raw side. And it was kind of a tough scene to watch. I have to especially knowing the kids were like

making a cake in the next room over. I was like, what is happening? Yeah, but like you said, this is how Shannon's always been. This is how the dynamics always been. And that's why the kids are like, happy birthday. Where does the princess want to sit? She's like, wow, isn't this a tree? Yeah.

Isn't this great? And then they just sit there all awkwardly watching their mom have another like, you know, terrible crying birthday. Like this can't be the first. What was the last one that was her marriage? The one before with the bunch of pub. I mean, she birthdays are a reference and this was sort of like, uh, this is a draw. She had the tough conversation, but a nice little dinner. But the funny thing is right before dinner, when she's still talking to David and she's like, I just want to know why you pulled away. What happened?

And he's like, I'll go check on the girl's deer. I was like, ooh, when he gets up and walks away. To be fair, I wouldn't be surprised there was a little editing in there to make him look really cold. But I think he's saying, I don't want to fucking do this every fucking birthday. I'm sick of your fucking breakdowns at all times. The kids are in the kitchen.

I have a not he's not saying that. He's not saying that, you know why? Because when it's time to say grace, all he has to say is dear Lord, thank you for this food. We love it. Thank you for not putting too much sugar in this non-gashier pub food. And said he's like, dear Lord, thank you for this food.

Thank you for this family. And thank you for this food, thank you for this family, and thank you for helping to bring us back the way we used to be so we were not fighting as much and maybe our union will be stronger than ever down the line. Even though right now my wife is stressed and gaining weight and it's making me feel closed in and I don't know what to say, dear Lord,

thank you for helping us get to this. I was like, the kids are probably like, what is happening with that right now? He's like, dear God. Do you remember that vowel happening with dad right now? He's like, dear God. Do you remember that vowel renewal there? Wasn't that great, dear God? Okay, amen. It's like, oh, do you, David?

But yeah, but, but now I guess maybe a little bit more to your point. Shannon's taking everything so personally, you know, and I've been there. That's the thing. I've like totally been the Shannon because she's like, if you, if you didn't, if you wanted nothing to do with me,

why did you renew the vowels? Why did you do it? I'm like, I don, if you wanted nothing to do with me, why did you really want the pals? Why did you do it? I'm like, I don't think he wanted nothing to do with you. I think he, you know, like, don't take it that, don't take it that personally. It was just that, you know, because that was all season. He did it because it was all season.

And now like you guys are just sort of like animals. That whole season was David trying to like get forgiveness because that was the whole, well, the affair the affair and it's I can't forget it No, no, no, which I you know is real like I'm not taking that away from her I'm just saying it's all ever since they've come on this show I mean one of their first scenes was it their house doing that dinner party where they were caught on Mike yelling at each other and fighting like Kind of horribly in the kitchen and it's never stopped and I think he's just like it's just like why is it always a big cry dramatic thing like How to vowel renewal ceremony like what do I gotta do here?

Yeah, well, but if you have if you have a vowel renewal ceremony You got to follow through and if your wife is getting stressed out you're not like it's it's actually kind of like It's not good enough to say oh when you get stressed out I deal with it by closing down. That's like, that's actually, if you really think about it, that's not right. When your wife gets stressed out, you have to be there for her and de-stress her. Give her that D. Give her that B. Yeah, I'm not choosing sides and a marriage because really at the end, you don't know what the hell's happening. But after watching them for so long It's like okay. This is your birthday your kids are in the kitchen making a cake

Is this really the time to have like a cry emotional guilt relationship with their conversation with David likes it is have some respect But are the goddamn kids, you know, you know, like you know what I think I think every time they fucking sit at dinner with these two It's like well oh, well, to dad's like again, that's great. You know, but I think that Shannon loves having conversations like this, not like she, I think she likes having an honest conversation, like an emotional conversation where she gets to, gets to get somewhere with, with, with David. So in a way, I think, I think she was happy. I think that this was something that she really wanted. I think this is her birthday gift. She's like me. She's like

in joy's depression about because it's like an excuse to sit around. Well, no, because like even it she's like, well, actually, we had a really wonderful talk where we really related all out there. And I talked about how stressed I was and he said he was closing in and we really got to know each other a little bit better. So I think she was like thrilled with the conversation. The kids were awkward, the kids were awkward and you know, felt ashamed for no reason. It was great. It was a great afterward. Afterwards I print called Mama Donna and it was a great day. Great night. I don't know, but I love that someone is just that raw. Like even if you're k kuku, just be kuku on camera.

That's all I ask. Peggy. So Vicki's birthday, everybody. Does everyone's having a birthday? Yes. Is there any shock that there's a chocolate fountain? Nope. Didn't think so.

Did not think so. My kind of fountain. Of course. Vicki as a fucking chocolate fountain. Okay. That's all I care about. Give me a chocolate fountain. I mean, there. Of course. I was like, you know, as a fucking shock. I would have checked it out. Okay. That's all I care about. Give me a check. I mean, it was the fountain.

So then Billy, her brother, Billy was there. Her sister was there. Gina shows up. Ryan and Brianna shop and when Ryan shows up, she's like, you look darling, you look darling, you look darling, you look darling. So you know, Ryan's by family. My family's here. That's what I love family. And Ryan's like, here's a gun. You know, Ryan's my family and my family's here and that's what I love family and we're

on it's like here's a gun. You know, I'm having birthday and I got both of guns. I can't you that anyone to put their feet on that couch. Yeah, I don't want a gun and Steve, what do you think about this again? And he's like, I've been my name is Steve Lopez, Pena, and I've been carrying a gun owe for every day for trying to hide something years. Okay, now this is why Steve last week, this is another comment that was hilarious from you guys, so thank you. Steve was pretending he was making all those like Latino jokes

last week, because when he was running for sheriff, he was trying to pretend that he was Latino and tried to change his last name so he would get the Latino vote. So that's fucking Vicki for you. It's like this, another con man. Another con man, this time with a gun. Come on Vicki. Yes. Exactly. So, so then meanwhile, while Vicki's getting ready for her party, we cut over to Barton G up here in West Hollywood, where everyone was there to celebrate Eddie's birthday. It was like Shannon and Megan and- Wasn't it called Barton G's? No, it's Barton G.

Oh, that makes more sense. It's right, it's on La Sianna Gare right there. And the place is known for having- they went there, they went to a, it's like, they're several across the country. I think they went to Barton G on real houses of Atlanta recently. And the place is known for like totally bunker presentation as we soon saw. It's also known for terrible food. With that science food.

With that science food. It's like science food, you know? Yeah, with that science, it's an egg. It's an egg and it tastes like an egg and it's shaped like an egg, but it's really made out of ham juice like Thanks Yeah, $50

Great so it's like they're all all the food is arriving and You know these crazy cocktails and apparently Megan's like yeah, my mom was really impressed to hear that Shannon and Tamer still aren't talking to Vicky She was so impressed Yeah, you guys are really impressed to hear that Shannon and Tamer still aren't talking to Vicky. She was so impressed. Yeah, you guys are really sticking to your guns. At least there was like a nice gun segue into this. I know. Seeing exactly. I'm like, I don't know how much I applaud, um, maintaining an active feud, but I guess that's

a nice spin on it. Yeah, great mom. Great mothering over there. And I don't, I don't waiver. nice spin on it. Great mom. Great mothering over there. I don't waver. I don't waver. I'm like, David, who wavers in every blonde lady on the beach? Have I mentioned that, David? So, yeah.

So the 40 negative waivers. The guys are down at one end of the table. And the girls are at the other just being awful mean girls, I think, like just being disgusting. Like, your old ladies stop acting like you're in junior high, please. I mean, I know you, like just being disgusting. Like your old ladies, stop acting like you're in junior high, please. I mean, I know you've all got falsies. That is no excuse. But one and Eddie just makes gay joke after gay joke. He's got this big long thing. It looks like a chicken skewer, but it's ice and he's making blowjob, you know, blowjob motion. And Tam is like, only guy on birthday is bad.

And they're like, let's sword fight out in the alley. Boys only, because they're swords on the table. Right. Yes. And then by the way, I thought one thing that was so rude of the restaurant is that like, shenanotristic. And it just like came with a massive fork

that reached the ceiling. It's like, that, that don't now you're just making fun of her. I see what she did. This isn't my fucking devil-y-size fork! Oh, so yeah, I'm back in sight. I see what the restaurant's doing trying to show up the fact that I've gained 60 pounds because of Vicki Gunnville's in. David, David David is that what this work is supposed to mean? Huh are we gonna forkin on my arch David? David my god. They're like for dessert a giant size scale So

Tamra is like well you guys are gonna love this then Megan batch your mom passes gonna love this batch Bake called me and Megan's like what? It's gonna love this batch. The hair called me and Megan's like, what? Damn it's like, I almost felt like we're friends again, batch. And then you're all bad. And she said, oh yeah, but then she said, you can't cook, you see, you see how negative she is about. Tamer, even trying to cook, what kind of friend is that?

I'm like, come on you guys. Yeah, and even Tamer, and even Tamer what it was like, she's like, yeah, it's like, I was another dick. I was saying, I can't, I'm like, it was not, that was not a bar, it was not a password. That was a, there were being joky. And she was a thing, but that was a thing with, yeah. So like, you know, no, I love me some,

you know, I love me some Shannon Bedouard. I'm not just saying this because she was on our show last week. I love Shannon Bedou know, I love me some Shannon Bedouard. I'm not just saying this because she was on our show last week. I love Shannon Bedouard, but Shannon, you over dramatized that you were that that was a like you know, they all know that's a thing. It's all like team keeping, you know, and they see Tamer because they know Look anybody who's even seen this show one time back in the day knows as evil and awful as they are Tamer and Vicki belong together Okay, nobody likes Lover and without Shirley. It's true. And in fact, if they could all get over there shit, then we could have a Vicki, Shannon, Tamer situation, which would be truly the best of all.

Yeah. No one likes you to like eating cheese alone at your, you know, house, what your head's been like, jerk. Off in the garage together, whatever. Like nobody needs this. Okay. Yeah. I mean, honestly, Shannon really made it sound like Vicki was saying things like, you can't cook. You're a worthless human being.

Why you try it anything in life just stay in your lane. It wasn't like that. All it was just, it was a joke. We all saw it. Camera can't cook. She did not know how to whip cream cheese. We all saw it. Get it at thought, bitch. And so you also laughed and Vicki said it and had the best

scene she's had all season so I don't know where are we here so Vicki's party back at Vicki's party Billy is taking everything very seriously because he's got his straight guy sunglasses on his head yeah it's like Billy's justice headband he's always got those straight guys sunglasses on his head. Yeah, it's like Billy's justice headband. He's always got those straight guys sunglasses on his fucking head. It makes me nuts. I don't know why. So Vicki has, she, she is now changed and it's like crazy red dress with red lipstick. She just looks totally bonkers now. And Gina, of course, being the best friend of me of all time. Gina goes, you look so beautiful. Look how gorgeous you are. You don't need eggs.

I'm like, I don't think she was complimenting you. You're my only friend that would come down the stairs without spanks like that. So Vicki, this entrance was hilarious. Vicki's coming down the stairs. And she's like, it's my birthday party. Oh my God, so many people here. Oh my God, it's my birthday party with my friends.

And no one turns around. I was like, hello, it's my birthday party with my friends and no one turns around. He's like, hello, it's my birthday, hello, and nobody turns around. It's like, come on. Come on. Happy birthday to Vicki. Happy birthday to Kak. Happy birthday to the all the second students I'm all buying and they're like oh hi. Saddest, most classic Vicki entrance ever. Now something very important happened, okay. I have been making several Twin Peaks references over the past episode and week, but never has there been as strong a link between Twin Peaks and this show as Kelly Dodd, who showed up literally dressed like the Black Lodge. She was dressed, she was wearing a dress that

was black and white Chevron with a red thing wrapped around her shoulders. She was literally the curtains and the floor of the Black L lodge to a tee. She is fucking sent from another dimension to disrupt this world. It is official. She is the brainchild of David Lynch. Oh my God. Twin Peaks would have been more watchable if Kelly had been Bob. It's like people just get a big hit possessed by Kelly. She's like, I fucking hate that Laura Palmer Fucking hate her I killed her. Yeah, I did What she came at me. I came at her. That's what happened. It's like Leland Palmer talking. Sorry So funny so fucking he's on a Hayward. Oh

So let's see so Lydia is talking to Peggy over on the side and Lydia's like well, I hope the other girls aren't mad because they invited me to Eddie's birthday But then there was my son's birthday and I forgot Was it her own son's birthday was her son it was her son's birthday, so she backed out And she's like I hope they're not mad. She's like a text of chat. I'm but she didn't text me back and Thank you's like, but you said yes. She's like, oh, yeah she's like, it doesn't matter. You said yes. Yeah, she said yes first. So you're wrong. Well, how about her baby's birthday was first. So Peggy's actually Peggy's actually correct in the situation. She said yes a month ago and she and to do like a last minute, sorry, I can't make because my kid it sounds like bullshit. it sounds like bullshit. Yeah, I do see. I like so much happier for the people at Vicki's pathetic party than people at the pathetic

Eddie birthday party. Like wasting like $200 each on shit food that comes with oversized swords and pitchforks sucking them. Well, at least the people who normally go there actually spend that money to look like idiots. These people are doing it for free, which is even grosser, you know? Yeah. So speaking of exaggerated objects, Gretchen and Lizzie show up looking crazier than they ever have. I mean, injections, injections.

Especially Lizzie, because Lizzie has always maintained kind of, I mean, she's so beautiful and she's always had like crazy face. But it's been Lizzie's crazy face. Like Lizzie will still show up with top-aware leave. You know, she's always the first one eating the hors d'oeuvres. Like she's there to have a couple of lines and some free food. Like she don't even care.

But this time she showed up like a fucking X reality star asshole, you know, just her completely different face. She acts different now. I don't know. This wasn't that different. It was just more. It's more, it was more, more plumped up and stuff. And a new hair and just how she was acting. It's just very different. I miss old Lizzie. Yeah. So Gretchen and Lizzie show up and they bring Ricky the, the occasional gay

of, well, meaning like not that he's occasionally gay, but he shows up occasionally, the one of the local Orange County Gays, who've all proven to it's he to be pretty thirsty for screen time. So they show up and Lizzie, so I guess they're talking about how Lizzie and Kelly brought Gretchen and Vicki back together

and they're having like a moment This is where you have to guide me because this is where I started to go in and out. I was like, uh, must write notes must write notes Well, there was a moment where You know first of all Vicki's walking around the whole party going oh my god I'm so excited. Have any bird how many people came to my birthday party look everyone so many people came to my party Oh my god guys. I'm so glad to see you here There's so many people right so many people in my party. It's like okay, Zicky everyone will go home saying there were so many people at your party Yeah, so hello Twitter person Half the Mercator is anyway. Yeah, so that was that and then Gretchen hugs Doug and Lydia and Lydia's like

Fusec to me and Gretchen's like aren't you gonna try for that girl that you always wanted, however? And Lydia's like, we did try and it was a boy. So it's time to close that chapter. And Gretchen's like, yeah. Because that's Gretchen's old story. Wondering it's late to undo his Fusec to me so she could have a baby, which we all know she never even wanted.

Yeah, Slade looks so uncomfortable, by the way, you know, he did not want to be there, which is shocking because he loves the camera. Oh, Slade wanted to be there. He just didn't want to be talking to Vicki. Yeah, he wanted to be with the fohawk wig to gay or whatever. So Lydia and Vicki, Vicki's like, oh, you know, it's so good to have you here about all these birthday people because there's so many birthday people. And it's so great to have you here. You know, I'm figuring out life.

I made mistakes. Okay. And I called Tiam Bra. I was nervous, but I loved her. When I get called home to my Jesus, I want to hear it. I want it there. It's a gate, you know, being like, you can come in batch just kidding and then we hug and then we really Chess is life's in heaven. I didn't I pee on a cloud

by accident and say we had a wild ride And Lydia's like I believe in you Lydia's so crazy So Then we get a dinner. Yeah, no, that's it. That's it. That's what I was going to say. Gina has like a moment where she's like, oh, you know, you know that Kelly Don, whom?

So she came right up to me with my date. And she's like, she's like, hey, guess what? I want to have a boot production. And I was like, Kelly, I'm not dating a plastic surgeon anymore. I'm doing a realtor. We had a laugh. What a stupid bitch. That was just hilarious huh?

That Cali Todd what a hilarious person. She's almost a bigger asshole than my sunshine. Huh? So speech Billy gets up to give us speech and he's like all right Time to give us speech in front of this gigantic pleasure from Ross and Because okay, okay, give me the bike. It's like nice speech Billy Okay, he's like I mean make this quick before someone throws a football in my face, okay? I don't want to fall off this porch All right, let's make this quick everybody pretend I just came in and say happy birthday, okay? You guys will edit this? You'll edit this.

So she's like, okay, everybody, it's my birthday. There's so many people here at my birthday. This is amazing. There's like so many people here at my birthday. So what everyone to know, I made mistakes, I made mistakes. So many people have journey through relationships and look, I got it right with, with the, the bandito barito over there. Mr. Steve Lopez, Pena to be guys. And he's like, I got it right with the Bandito Barito over there. Mr. Steve Lopez Pena Toby Gez. And he's like, I got a gun.

And Kelly's like, I'm jealous. I want that. So I just say, what are you complaining about, Kelly? Like you've got a relationship where you guys seem to like each other in your, like mutual arguing hatred. To me, it's not flirting. I told her that too. I was like, what do you guys talk? Because she says that in real life too, you know? She's like, oh yeah, well this one's an asshole. And he's like, come on, Cali. You know, they fight in real life. What are you two talking about? You wouldn't get to bitch like this at each other in front of guests, which is just anybody.

You know, this is a relationship right here. Be proud. One of the most awkward moments of last week hanging out with Kelly was when she's giving us the house tour. She's like, oh yeah, come look at my bedroom. And she's like, we just like, she's like, takes us into the bedroom and Michael is in there like sleeping. I'm assuming an underwear he could have been naked.

I'm not sure, but he was like fully sleeping in this bed. And she's like, yeah, don't worry about him. Come on in and he's like, oh, I was like, oh my god, Kelly. I think really loud too. That was like, oh, he won't mind. He won't mind. He has the bad room. This is it. And I was like, you know, Michael's right there sleeping. And after we totally ditched him too, because it was like 1 a.m. Yeah, we were on our way to go walk to the the restaurant and he was making quesadillas because we had already been drinking and stuff. And I was like, well, come on,

we're going to eat and say, no, leave him. Come on. True. Didn't we went up the quiet woman? I don't like right? And you had like literally two scallops. What a, how do you shared one with Kelly? Well, that's all they give you a scale. I'm really just to the restaurant for the bread. We all know it. That bread was good. Yeah, I could I could order any old fucking thing off the menu. I'm there for the bread and the vodka. I don't give a So, yeah, the other stuff. So anyway, anyway, anyway. So now so now speak of Kelly. So it's after the speeches and now Vicki and Kelly and Gretchen and the gay and Lizzie, they're all sitting at a table. And good old Kelly decides to resurrect the Eddie Gay rumors.

And she starts saying something along the lines of like, so I used to work out at this place long before I met Tamra, and Eddie was a trainer there, and everyone would say that they thought he was gay. So that's where I got it from, not from Vicki. I'm like, no, this is not going to end well. This is not going to end well. This is bad. This is bad. She's been sent from the black lodge to disseminate rumors. I'm Vicki's like, no one will think this is my fault because I've said I've made mistakes five times like Kiberda night. So it's not going to be me. And, and it was Lizzie. Now Lizzie was the one who went to the gym, right?

Oh, maybe Lizzie. I think it was Lizzie. She's like, Lizzie was my friend at that gym. Yeah, who said everybody thought Eddie was the gay spin instructor or whatever. And Lizzie's like, yeah, and also Tamara always says, everyone thinks that he's gay. Like, it's no big deal. Like they laugh about it. Why is it suddenly a big deal? I'm like, why are you suddenly so fucking thirsty?

Get the fuck out of it. Because Tamara did not show up at her birthday party in Hollywood. That's why I see it always comes back around Tamara. You should have gone to Lizzie's birthday instead of faking that sickness. Oh. Should have gone. Okay. Because people will say shit. Well, either way, I actually think that Lizzie, it sounded

like Lizzie. What she's basically saying is that Tamara always jokes about it. It's like a, it's a known joke. It's no big deal. And they even showed, I think, didn't they show like a flashback of them joking about it? She just did it this episode only down my birthday. Yeah. So they did. Giving blow job jokes. Like I get what she's saying, because Tamara's just a big fucking fake or as usual. And has no storyline as usual, so she's making up that somebody's hurting her marriage. And she keeps saying, she attacked my marriage. I'm sorry.

Lizzie was just saying, like what I gathered was that, I thought it was just like a big joke, didn't put too much stock in it, and it was funny because the people at the gym were always saying like, oh, I thought it was gay, and it's probably like a big,

ha, thing, and she told Kelly. And so I think the point was that they were trying to say hey Like I Vicki didn't come to me being like oh like did you hear that Eddie might be gay? They was just like oh, yeah, I've heard that rumor too, which yeah, you know again like yeah If you don't have something nice to say about someone don't say something at all, but like it didn't sound like they were being really malicious But they are being malicious. But they are.

I mean like, and I agree with what you're saying. I'm just saying that they were being malicious because the original thing was Vicki was saying that she had read the Eddie grew up with like a gay adopted father or something. Oh, God. And so that that's why people thought that he went both ways or he was gay because that was the internet rumor at the time And she's not admitted that in the fucking reunion like this is all come out and now these girls are like Well, what is she even blaming you for because everyone said he was gay and spin class like

Tamras just making a big deal out of nothing because she's got nothing, okay? Well, here's where they're really malicious because this is all an enormous setup because they have Ricky the gay and he's like, well, I saw Eddie making out with a guy and he's like, what? What? I, I, well, I never, oh my goodness. I'm like, what? The reason why that, what? That, that thing that only Vicki can make that noise, that only Vicki can make. I was like, now this is getting icky and you're acting like this wasn't a setup.

Obviously, you knew that's why I invited these people. I mean, the whole thing was so... It's disgusting and those fucking guys. You know, this is what makes me mad about the queens on this show. It's, you're not a housewife, okay? You're like a little Chihuahua dog to these ladies. You're a fucking joke to them. As you can see in anything from the drag thing last week, like, stop. And then you go act like this. I hate you. And

he was Eddie's, oh, he was Tamer's best man, which makes it even, yeah, even shadier. You were, you were her best friend before. Aren't you like the best man at her wedding? And then they show him crying in that same terrible fucking wig. Crying at the wedding and now he's doing this. And he's like, it's because that's that trash. That's I'm like, I don't look. If that is the truth, what kind of gay are you? Okay. Yeah.

As a gay, you should let him just make out with whoever you, and he was saying, let him do his truth. Well, I thought it was okay in their relationship. I just assumed that they had that kind of relationship. If you if you assume that to why you throwing them under the bus right now He probably had a not all you back. Did she not call you back? It's always about the woman. It's not about the man. He's mad because tamer didn't call him back Her tamer of betray him in some way and he's getting his revenge with two also rants. I mean that's sad that sad game

Exactly. I don't want to know about this. I don't want to know about this. I'm like, yeah, except you set this up. Yeah, of course. So women, which the other women are doing to them too. It's like, you know, they're all horrible, which is kind of the point, but the gay stay out of it. Stay. Orange County gay is always been on. I might say Orange County gives me like the ones that have been on it. Stay Orange County Gays have always been, I might say Orange County Gays, I mean, the ones that have been on real houses of Orange County, they've never really,

they've never, they've never quite gotten it right. You know, from the guy who threw down that wine glass, he's like, this is bullshit. To the disguise. I was like, I'm not quite, you didn't quite nail it. Yeah, agreed.

And it's also like every, you know, like super anti gay person's greatest fear, or like greatest stereotype, you know? Yeah, yeah, gross. I mean, I am that hilarious. I am that last one. I'm a gross stereotype too, but I will stick up for my batches.

It's our allies in life. Have dare you betray one of your best girlfriends. That is disgusting for other also ran girlfriends. You can still get invited to some parties sometimes. I mean, that is sad. Get a new wig. Says us doing a podcast or retrash all these women. Even be bad friends. I'm not to invite us into their homes last week.

Well, yeah, but that's why they're awful too. We're all over the world. and invite us into their homes last week. Well, that's where I was. Well, yeah, but that's why they're awful too. We're awful. But you know what, Ben, I always do say exactly what I'm thinking because I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie. Like it's important to know we make fun of you and we will continue to, but as fans, and as people who like it, sometimes we'll love you

sometimes, we'll hate you. But when anybody's best friend from these shows, come on. And we're also reacting to We're reacting to what we see on TV. We're reacting to what's been presented to us and admittedly there is There is a difference between What we are getting versus who some of these people are in real life and even if it's like what we see on TV is a part of who they are in real life It's it's possible to be friends with someone and they have a horrible relationship with someone else Where it's terrible, but since you don't have to deal with that side of them

Then it's like who cares, you know, yeah, I'm just saying it's not the same thing because we're talking about a TV show That's a real life and that's somebody's queen who's like turning on them. Yeah, yeah, cool If you want to turn on your woman do it on camera bitch. Yeah,. Where we can all see it. Don't do it shady like this. I hate that. Yeah. Well, it'd be really mad, like, too angry. Yeah, what can I say? I'm just like Angela on Real House's Vocland.

I just want people to love me. So that's why I'm always like, I'm like, what you say is true. It's like, I'm not friends with any of these people. It was nice. We met, we met them and they've been cool. They come on our show. They seem cool. They seem fun.

And then I'm like, I don't, I mean, and I don't feel like I've adjusted my take on anything, you know, but I do, I then, I do like, I don't want, I want to be liked. It's, it's a problem. I guess everybody wants to be liked, you know? Not everyone, Kelly Dold. Of course she wants to be liked. She's very charming and

like fun. Yeah, she is. You're right. She'll just turn on your, you know, she'll yell at you, but so get him a tour. But she's charming and fun. She wants to have friends. Let me look at this. How happy she is just to be invited to hang out with the people that have been so fucking awful to her for two years. You know, it's like I'm included Like everyone wants to be true. That's true. That's true. Everybody We sure love you. We do love you and we love that you love us. See we just want to be loved You guys we just need the ego ego fulfill ego boost Amazing feeling things with you, okay?

You guys were just like one big happy crap in family and we're all just like close they've been together I mean I could have been feeding my baby, but I'm doing this podcast with you Okay, the podcast the podcast is our baby the podcast is sleeping in a bass and that next to us spiritually Now if anybody said just remember where we were a year ago, right, dear? David. David. So you guys, we're back tomorrow to talk to them, Real House, House of Dallas, which is really on fire this season.

Everyone's talking about it. If you're not watching it, you really should watch it because everyone's talking about it. So, and I'm so happy, I'm so happy for the show that everyone's talking about it. So, and I'm so happy, I'm so happy for the show that everyone's talking about it. That's so exciting. And that's it for today, y'all. So we'll be back tomorrow and have a great night. Bye everybody! Bye! . . .

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