Watch What Crappens - RHOC: The Weight Is Over!

Episode Date: August 8, 2019

"The Real Housewives of Orange County" is back, and you guys, we really dug the season premiere. Is the slump over??? Time will tell. But for now, we're optimistic! Come join us as we discuss Single Shannon, Young Gravy, and Gina's "Antiques!" box. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what happens when this one happens Hello and welcome to Watch or Crap Ins A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island which is a cartoon available on YouTube, and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious and partially blurred out, Ronnie Karam from the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast. What's going on Ronnie? I say that Ronnie is partially blurred out because I'm looking at him right now. This is in a Crappens

on Demanday. What that means is we are not only just recording this with audio but with video too. And if you want to watch it, you go to patreon.com slash watch for crap in and you can check out this episode and several others that we have actually recorded videos. You can actually see our faces when we do our ridiculous impersonations and stuff. Patreon is awesome. We do a bonus episode every week. We just did one where we recapped an episode of House Hunters. We spent an hour recapping a House Hunters episode and it was really, really satisfying for me. Also this week we also have a Discord server which is really cool. It's like a chat room and I've decided I'm going to go on

that Discord server on Thursday after we're done doing our podcast or probably around 2pm Pacific time. I'm just gonna hang out there for an hour So if you want to ask questions about me the podcast bravo, whatever you want to talk about I'm gonna be hanging out there. So that's our Discord server. So go to patreon.com slash watch or crap And to to know what that's all about of course We have our merchandise. We got plenty of awesome new t-shirts, things like season one cameo, demoted a friend of many, many more options. Go to watch crappens.com to get that stuff and check out all that stuff or go to crappensmerch.com to go directly to that link. And of course, we are on tour starting at the end of September. We are going to be

taking the podcast to cities, many of which you guys all live nearby. So come buy a ticket in case you haven't already. These are the cities that we are going to. Charlotte, North Carolina, Nashville, Tennessee, two shows in Atlanta, Carbureau, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Indianapolis, Indiana, two shows in Chicago, two shows in New York, St. Louis, Missouri, two shows in Philadelphia, and Seattle, Washington is our last show of the year. There may be one or two more shows that wind up in the mix. So always listen to the announcements and check us out on social media. And yeah, it's gonna be exciting and super fun. Don't worry about coming solo. You'll have a

great time and the Charlotte one, by the way, the Charlotte show on September 26th is part of the Queen City comedy experience. It's a comedy festival. So you wouldn't be just seeing us. You'd actually be seeing all sorts of like, the actual funny people. The actual Queen. Queen Elizabeth is coming.

She's gonna be our guest. So lots of Meghan Markle jokes coming your way. Plenty of them. So come see us there because we have a huge theater for that one. And we want to fill every single one of those seats. So watch your crappies.com for tickets. And that's all the news that's fit to

print because guess what? It is real housewives of Orange County premiere day. Oh, my God. My God. You're a total door. Yes, real housewives of Orange County is LeBuy and I felt some hope. I felt a lot of hope actually. I felt like the episode was really good.

The tempo was good. I was engaged. I was laughing. I was angry. It gave me a lot of things to think about. I felt like the vibe felt good. I'm cautiously optimistic about where the season's going to go. Yeah, me too.

I actually was feeling pretty good about it. Really worried about Gina. She's just a fucking mess all over the place. She's had a really rough year. And so I'm kind of worried about that because Yikes, Gina, like sometimes you watch these shows and it's like you need help. You don't need to be on a TV show. You need to like get yourself some help right now. This is not helping now. I know. She's also, I feel like starting to transition into Jenny Poulos. I was like,

wait, this is really weird. Like she's looking more and more like Jenny Poulos every episode or every whole, every interview. Yeah, I was getting, once you see it, it's hard not to see it. I was definitely getting some Jenny Poulos, but like my celebrity twinning powers is a little off because I go to weird places. Like I firmly believe that Jack from this current season of Big Brother,

if you took away his hair and his beard and made him a woman would be Jamie Lee Curtis. So, you know, well, there's a girl on Bachelor who I'm in paradise. He looks like Fred Armisen. And once I saw it, I couldn't stop. Yeah. It's all I see now. You're going to see Jenny Poulos and Jenna in Gina.

I guarantee it. Well, Gina, look, you know, I would never take advice from me in real life or on a podcast, but get away from Tamarabarney immediately because that does nobody any good. Okay, especially when you're going through something like this, get away from that Satan, that possum anger face, Satan. Yeah, step away from the top of a dumpster. Okay, stay away. Yes, stay away.

So speaking of Tamra, the episode opens up with a shot of Tamra's new house, not to be confused with their new house from last season, or the new house from two seasons ago, or the new house from like three or four seasons ago. You know what, like, stop moving, because I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear about the new house, or the renovations.

You're allowed to, you're allowed to like, once every like four years, but if it's every season, I'm not down for it. And especially when they all look exactly the same. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, we've seen it, Tam, Tamara. I know this one was like a little bit better, but still, still enough. And of course, she like shows up to her to her new house on like a dirt bike. She's like, mooders up the street on a dirt bike, which I felt like was a metaphor

for something, not sure what. Well, one of my neighbors I've talked about him before is like a big Trump guy. He's like the only guy in our neighborhood who's a big Trump guy. Like he'll go to the gay pride parade wearing a MAGA hat and just try and start fights with people. And he was telling me one time, uh, yeah, I have a dirt bike. And I was like, why do you have a dirt bike? We're in LA. And he's like, because when it really comes down, I'm going to be able to get my family out of here. I'm like, oh God, this guy just pictures himself. Yeah, he pictures himself like going over the Hollywood hills on his dirt bike.

With his family, how's that gonna work? I don't know, you know, I just, I learned not to ask questions. Yeah, exactly. Well, so I guess Tamer's boning up to do some dirt biking, which means that maybe we'll have Glamas part two. I mean, you know, after you like toppled the Dune Buggy, maybe stay away from the extreme sports. Yeah. And she's, Eddie's like, come on, Tamra, you've got to wear a helmet.

Okay, dad. Okay, daddy. I don't want to wear one. I'm like, you know what? The last person I would suggest wear a helmet is Tamra. Okay, just keep going Tamra. Is there a freeway ramp close? This might lead to an improvement.

I read an article like a year and a half ago about, there was this girl who wrote an article probably like on Huff Poe or like medium or something and she was like, I am sick of people telling me to wear a helmet on my bike. How about you don't crash into me? I was like, yeah, but how about maybe both? How about maybe both? Maybe you wear a helmet on my bike. How about you don't crash into me? I was like, yeah, but how about maybe both? How about maybe both?

Maybe wear a helmet. She was at this whole thing, like it was like, she felt like if people were so condescending to her saying, like, why don't you wear a helmet? Why don't you wear a helmet? Cause I, she's not you. And I feel like it's restrictive. And I was like, where are fucking helmet?

Like, just, why would you not do, take the extra, would it like the extra precaution that might save your life, you know? Yeah. Well, you know, some people you just let live and let die. Is what I say? Yeah. Or live and get chinchillas because we go over to Gina's house. Or Gina. I mean, plus her heart, plus Gina's little heart. Last season her first season, she was trying to convince us that everything's okay with Matt, who was never there. Her kids are running around everywhere. She's got a fireplace in the middle of her fucking living room. Yes. The poor woman. And now, and she had no one to talk to because she had no family life, really. So she just was always face time and her parents. And

now she's added the character of a chinchilla. I mean, this is like the saddest that I've ever seen. I know. It actually noted that actually made me pine for, it made me pine for Rocky, the chinchilla on blood-swetting heels. Oh my God, yes. Mika, Mika had, she was, that was a great show. That was really a great show. And Mika, Mika, whatever her name was,

she was just like, we didn't deserve her and we did not get enough of her. She was the best. Well, this girl now has this chinchilla and now she's talking to it and doing scenes with it, which is really making me sad. She's like, hi, little chinchilla. Do you like your new house?

We gonna do cardio. You want to cardio as you can't because you're a chinchilla, but I'm gonna do cardio. God, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy How long before that chinchilla has a little pillow in this cage that says gather gather Chinchilla Cooks or she'll have a little like a little poster that just says Paris Or they could take the one they could get a miniature version of the tamer one

I'm not tamer a Gretchen We used to joke that Gretchen probably has one of those posters has Paris in five different languages. Yeah Paris Paris Tamer used to have one that said Fakaccia remember we were doing a recap in Irvine And we noticed like she just had a poster that said, Fakacha, first of all, it's like, it's like, ah, Fakacha.

Yeah, from this show, all of our home goods and Ross Dressper less home section, ranting began, you know? Yeah, and it's so funny because we love going to those stores. In fact, we haven't been to one together in a very long time, Rhonda, but we both individually love going. And yet, because I feel like going to a TJ Maxx or to a home goods, what's

fun is that there's so much shit and terrible stuff, and you have to like go through it, and you've got to find, and then you find the gems within the shit. So then when you see someone like, Gina who just like takes all the shit, you're like, ooh, she failed. You know, like, I think that's why I get so angry because I'm like, you did not put in the effort. You did not do what you were supposed to do at home because we just look beyond that stuff. Yeah.

And there's just stuff that is always there that never else in the store. So why are you buying it? Aren't you getting the hint? This is not. No one has this. That's why it's always in the raw stress or less. You're a gather sign. Yeah. You're always end up at raw stress for less your gather sign. Yeah, you're always like,

because that's the other thing. You go into those stories and you say, who buys this? Who buys these strange, artisanal, sun-dried tomatoes that are next to the, the matter of jaffery frying pan. Although I would get a matter of jaffery frying pan. I'm sorry for even bringing that her into it. So then we go over to Emily's house, which is typical Emily's house. Emily has the

Bravo stink face, you know, which we see we see a lot these days. And it's I think it's people like just starting Botox late and not not realizing where they're supposed to inject it. And so they just get that like, well, she's always like. She's also like now fully drag queen. So like sometimes it's kind of like a drag queen aesthetic. Almost, you know how like, it's just sort of, she, yeah, she just sort of has drag stink face right now. Yeah, she's got a lot.

She's got a lot going on. So she was on Shane to get his bar exam passed, but guess what, now he's never home and she's not come with the children. Yeah. And so the kids are going wild because I think they're, I've seen to remember them being pretty wild last year also. I don't remember.

But they're wild and there's like a kid who's literally kicking their dog. They have a little dog named Fiskar and they keep this kid just keeps on trying to kick Fiskar over and over and over again. And she's like, are you arresting the dog? Stop kicking the dog. Are you arresting the dog? I was like, I am? Live it right now. This child is just kicking this dog

and she's not grabbing the child and putting him in his own cage. Yeah, that's when you kick the child. Yeah, kick the child. That's a child. Child kicking approved. Yeah, so then we go over to Shannon. Who's going to work out with her kids?

Oh my god. Well, new me. Yeah, so then we go over to Shannon who's going to work out with her kids New me ladies and gentlemen introducing the new Shannon storms be door I've lost 40 pounds and gained a lot of fun. Look at all the fun I'm having so much so much fun I'm shaming his back haha shaming's trying so hard to convince us that she's new fun shaming and I love it because she tries this every fucking year remember last year when I was so said well this year I Ah!

Oh, 40 to 50 positives, Bob. Just having a great time. I haven't even done my own wedding, Bob, myself. Ah! Ah! And Shannon's new thing also, and this is gonna be sort of like an exclusive for people who are watching the video. But like her new thing is that now she doesn't just laugh. She does like a like a silent,'t just laugh. She does like a silent drum break. She just like,

I love when she does that silent fake clash. I've lost so many calories by shaking my entire body every time I laugh. You know, the best thing about a housewife is watching them start happy and that slowly go insane is the show makes it crazy. And with Shannon, you get it every single season, you know. She's like the gift that never keeps having nervous breakdowns. Yeah, she goes, I'm proud of myself, Tony. It was two years of hell.

And then we get flashbacks of just like, Shannon Big-Misabul, which is my favorite form of Shannon, you know, like being half naked in front of her trainer. Oh, that guy who's like, oh, wow. It's like that dick. Oh, that dick. And then here lies Shannon Bedore and crying in the car and just, you know, generally being Shannon. Yeah. And in the car and just, you know, generally being

Shannon. Yeah. And then she goes, well, you know, the hardest work was changing the inside, sort of like, when you look at a salmon and you say, you know what that salmon needs? It needs cream cheese on the inside. And that's why I have lots of cream cheese inside me. He finds his, his self love through cream cheese. Unfortunately, I can't do that anymore.

So she's like, you know what, really needed to change. Yeah, what's the inside? And the way just like started coming off. No. Okay, let me tell you how weight comes off. Starvation and extremely hard work. Okay, that's it. You don't have to be happier. You just have to starve yourself. Okay, Shannon, don't try to trick everybody into thinking that we're fat because we're not happy enough. Right.

One thing that made me so happy was that to see that her eldest daughter, Sophie, is starting to become Shannon, which is like, isn't that the thing that, like as a parent, you're most proud of, you know, when your child becomes you, because the kids are working out, and we see this interview segment where Sophie and one of the twins, I forget which one, and the twin girl, who's like 13 or 14, she just goes, I don't really like working out, like, I don't want a mussely body, and I think I have a pretty good body right now and then Sophie goes Really I couldn't tell Like just totally jealous and angry at her sister So yeah, she's like well, thank god my marriage and then huh? Well, who thought I would ever say that

Shannon regular bedore wouldn't, but Shannon's storm's Bedore! Ha! Brings you kids in! Thank God my marriage is over! Thank God! Thank God I'm alone with a smaller house, no chandelier, and not having to think about if David is walking on the beach with another woman or putting sugar in my sauce, and, you know, quietly resenting me while he goes off to his spout face, his mind trapped in the beach with another woman or putting sugar in my sauce and you know quietly resenting me while he goes off to his spout face is mine trapped in a peloton bike

thank god the new Shannon Bedort doesn't even mind living in a non-biode degradable home did you get allergies from just walking from the bathroom to your bedroom in the middle of the night or is it has it been 45 seconds is the TRX done yet? How long can I hang from his cables? Oh, I feel like I'm with David again. Stuck in limbo. So the kids are like, fuck working out.

We're out of here. We got to get ready for the concert. We're going to see young gravy. It's just young gravy. What? Is that a rapper? Is that a rapper? A new Shannon's dorms, but or recipe, am I right?

Young gravy. Who's young gravy? They leave. They never answer. This wait is from young gravy. So then we go back over to Gina's house. And Gina has triggered events. Triggered.

She, I like, literally stopped last night and did like 10 different Instagram stories dissecting everything in her room. So she's like still unpacking your new house and we see her. She's carrying a planter box, right? It looked like it was a box that you put dirt in like, and you put plants in and put it like outside. And it's like this big wooden box, like long rectangular, with some straps. But for some reason it says antiques.

And then under it it says collectibles, gifts, souvenirs, aughts. What is the purpose of this box and why is it so excited about antiques? I just put this is the saddest flower pot ever and it says gather because I didn't see what it said. It said and literally said antiques. Like why would you write antiques on a flower box? Because maybe the flower box is an antique. Maybe the label has to do with something right right like or maybe it's not a flower box Maybe it's supposed to be a box that you put antiques and crafts into

But then I like that she needs everything to be so like explicitly labeled like we are my antiques Oh, yeah, thank God. I've got a box that says antiques Yeah, she's a person in like a crowded space. She's like with the exit there it is Always looking for any signs again and pillar candlesticks everywhere We just talked about this on our house hunter's bonus But like I was saying how I have this weird pet peeve about pillar candlesticks that are like super knobby and like when there's like a lot of them And that's supposed to pass for decor I just find to be like really tacky and she has them like

Everywhere pillar candlesticks for day core, I just find it to be like really tacky. And she has them like everywhere. Pillar kind of sticks. Yeah. So she's of course talking to her phone, her face time on the phone because she has no what to shoot with. And so she's talking to her dad about the new house. And you know, I was so excited, you know, I'm so excited to move out of my coat home. Cause me at Matt and I found ourselves, you know, getting a little fight here and there. So this is good. It's good. It's all good. It's all good. I'm so happy. I'm like so happy right now. Everything's great. Everything's great. And she's wearing the sad cotton dress in her diary room session. Like that is never a good sign. I don't think

I remember ever seeing a housewife in a cotton dress. I know. I thought I was so appropriate that all her moving boxes said, lows. Like, oh, yeah, that's exactly right. That's where you are. So, um, and she was like, so she starts face timing her dad. And she's like, yeah, we got to do the back yard. We got to lay, we got to landscape it right now, because just a big dirt pit in the kids just using this sand box. I was like, oh, that's right. It was her kids that were the monsters.

Huge, huge monsters. I forgot about that. Yes, they were always running around or pulling her hair and... You can't talk to me like that. You know, they're hating her or whatever. And let this be a lesson to people when you're breaking up with someone and you're like,

you know what, we're broken up, but the best part is that we're still best friends. Well guess what, give it nine months and you're gonna house the dirt pit out back that your kids are burrowing themselves into. Oh my God, I'm just so depressed about this whole storyline. So for those of you who don't know,

her husband was arrested for abuse. I guess it's just so, but this whole thing, it just gets more and more depressing. So right now she's crying to her dad because she got a DUI. And she's like, you know, and she tells us, I've been getting a hell of a beat in this year. I was at this mommy event, you know, doing some shopping and I was drinking like one, you know, I wasn't even thinking about it.

And then I get pulled over and it's like the worst-of-finding moment of my life. It is because it was all grounded in legging shopping. Like I feel like if you're gonna do why at least like have it be like well I hit this crazy night out with my friends. We went to the bar and there was some strippers and I blew a guy in the back and it was so hot and then afterwards I had mozzarella sticks and then we went to Vegas and I was like you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna rent a a Ferrari and I'm gonna drive all the way home, drunk from Vegas and I got pulled over and got a DUI.

You don't want your story to be like, I went to a mommy event and was shopping for leggings and had too much wine. Yeah. And yes, I don't care that I'm making fun of a DUI. I love having you. You don't care that way. I don't mind that I'm making fun of a DUI, right?

Well, the DUI, I feel like, is make fun of all because she did that to herself, you know? But I love that in your whole strippers and below weekend in Vegas, you had to include mozzarella sticks. That's part of the end of this. That's really going to party with Ben. When Ben's like, that's it, I'm eating the mozzarella sticks today. You're like, wow, it's like the equivalent

of doing blow off a stripper's ass. Yeah, my version of the hangover for this is an entire set piece based around them. Just like pleasantly getting mozzarella sticks at the face. The well-sappened mozzarella sticks. Oh, so the dad's like, I'm not disappointed in you honey. You get knocked down and you get back up again I'm like, please don't quote pop songs right now. Let's not make this a chumbo, one by moment. So she feels really bad and I just feel bad for knowing her whole season. But guess what? So watch your crap and so we're still going to make fun of you. Yeah.

And I will say her couch looks super comfortable. The way she was sitting in it just was like, it looks so like. There was just so much puff to sit in. It looked nice. Yeah. See, I give credit so much puff to sit in. It looked nice. Yeah. See, I give credit where credits do. Nice and comfortable couch. I don't trust that couch because it went down so far

when you sit on, it's one of those, like cheap, because you sit on it and then the other cushion is up to your boob. That's true, I didn't like that, but it looked like, if you have to have that situation, at least it was gonna be soft, like not like an IKEA couch, which is never comfortable. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah.

David? David, I think it's time to go to commercial. Do you wanna go to commercial, David? David? David. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So let's see here. So then we go to Kelly. Oh, I'm gonna call her. I'm gonna call her. I'm gonna ask you to be here. Yeah. So she's in the back seat calling her new boyfriend, Brian.

Yeah. Yeah. Brian. So she's talking to Brian and she's also on route to meet up with Shannon for drinks because they're gonna be single ladies, even though she's with Brian now. Sorry, I had a burp. There's something about talking about Orange County that just makes me want a burp. I'm drinking tons of San Pelagrinos today.

Wow. So maybe I'll burp with you. I'm about to have another one. What do you think of that? San Pelagrinos in a can. Oh my God. They should have a podcast called Everything Tonic by Sandy Pelagrino.

Wow. I hope someone out there takes that idea and runs with it. He was ruined someone's life. That was for you. I've ever go listen to everything iconic by Danny Pelagrino. He's our friend. I love you, Pellie. So let's see here.

So Kelly explains how she met her boyfriend, Brian. She's like, he works at the place like in my boobies time. Yeah. And he's like, so Kelly, guess what? I've got a surprise for you. It's a jewelry. It's a jewelry. It's a jewelry. What's your name? It's a dwarf. It's a dwarf. George, is it Jury? That'd be Jury. That'd be Jury.

Oh my Jury. What'd work? Is this a dwarf? He's like, let me be the man and surprise you. What are you wearing right now? It's like, something sexy and slutty. Oh! He's like, so they're just flirting

in the back of the cart. Now listen, I don't want to diss what anybody does for a living. I'm sure he does a great job. Your boobs are great. But is he turning you into a robot because your bronze right now, the bronzer needs to stop. Kelly. He looks like he's gentle is sowing. She looks like a robot is coming through on her cheeks, you know, like some of the skin ripped off and like her, her metal is just starting to show. A lot of problems are going to come. She's the terminator. Imagine if like in the future they sent Kelly back, they're like, we were sending you back

to save society and they're like, guess what? To guess what John Connor, great news. We sent back Kelly Dodd to save humanity. They're like, no, you're supposed to send back Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why do you send back Kelly Dodd? I'm here in the same America. I'm here. You're a door.

You're a door. Fixed it They're like oh we ruined our one chance All-peep-baaaaaaang Ostelevista Baby She would actually love I bet she I bet Kelly says more Terminator quotes per day than you'd probably expect I was drinking pelagrina., you see I'm addicted. I'm addicted, everybody.

You know what I also hate? I hate when people say, instead of Ostalavista, they say Ostalabai-bye. It's like, oh, look at you being clever. Yeah. Ostalavita later. So Kelly goes over to Shannon's and Shannon is just anxious to door like

Oh come on in I was just listen to some young gravy great great new artist Leader of the generation and Kelly's like you're wasting away Look at your boy, you're so skinny and And she tells us, I see a difference. Last year, she was heavy, she was angry. This year, she's off the wait, and she's not a negative Nancy anymore. Oste of the vista, negative Nancy. Oh!

And then Kelly touches a coffee pot and becomes it. Like, look at my powers! Oh, well, that's interesting. Seems you made us some sort of liquid metal, okay? So, Shanna would be so confused by the Terminator concept. So you're a robot? Okay, well,

alright, well, okay. So which version cheated on Maria Shriver? Was it the robot version or the human version? I could find to know. You just see Shannon, like you see the target? Like, okay. I see. Oh, cream cheese stuff salmon, cream cheese stuff salmon.

So, Shannon's like, I am so excited to go out. I've been having so much fun. And Kelly's like, yeah, I've heard. I got a picture of you with this guy! And my god he's so hot! Yeah, and Shannon's like, huh! Well, I have a couple of people on the bench! Yes! Uh, to extend this baseball metaphor, what is a fan favorite? He has a very good uh, what do you call it? Batting average? HA! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha! Badding average

Well see if he can make his way around the dime He's got he's got a good RBI I actually do need this seventh inning stressful. I do get tight. I do get tight. Yes. So Kelly's like, what are you doing squats? Looking your butt. And then Shannon does a deep squat. Do you think she keeps doing them? And I just say that's pretty inspirational. Yeah, I was I was like, damn, that was like, she just like, I mean, do you think you're at a young gravy concert just dropping down like that? It is really inspirational because this is coming from somebody who has to like creatively visualize

getting off the couch for five minutes before I actually try to stand up. Like you can do this, Roddy. Imagine the glorious life you're going to lead once you stand up and walked to the bedroom. What? Well, she looks great. I'm very happy because I love me some Shannon Bdore. Even when I don't agree with her, she's one of my favorite housewives of all time. So, so now, are we ready to get angry? Because we're going to get angry right now.

Are you ready, Ronnie? Are you visualizing? And for those of you new to the show or at least of these recaps, Tamra Barney is one of my most hated housewives of all ever. One of my most hated Bravo characters. She's a terrible person. She's a terrible French trash. She's garbage. Do not trust her. Never trust Tamra. Yeah, no, she I actually she's not one of my most.

I think that she is also terrible and she's crafty. Yeah, she's not one of my moat. I think that she is also terrible and she's crafty. But man, I think we are so blessed to have her nasty, nasty machinations. You know, she is, I appreciate the role that she plays in the Bravo universe. But wow, she is, she's something else. So we're over at Tamra's new house

and we've got Tamra, her mom Sandy, Sandy's boyfriend Frank. They're all hanging out, Eddie's there. Oh, and also Tamra's really super charming son Ryan is there. And they're making cocktails. And Eddie is like, by the way, we joined the Country Club and they're all like excited. I'm like, just because you're in Sam's club Does not mean you're in a country club? Yeah, yeah So that's a club at the end. Yeah, so she's running around with the country club. Welcome packet like yeah The country club coach country club. We are so fans

And so she updates us on where she is. She's like we move together And cut up is a ganna community. And when you say a love here, everyone's like, oh my god, just a batch. The husband now is just stunning. The previous owner was an interior decorator and it's just how I would have done it. I'm like, it is not just how you would have done it. Yeah, she's like, yeah, it's like Cape Cod aesthetic batch. I'm like, you don't just how you would have done it. Damn. Yeah, it's like Cape Cod aesthetic batch. I'm like, you don't even know what Cape Cod is. You think it's a potato chip.

So she's like, I will say, I actually thought the house looked, I thought that was a beautiful, but then it's beautiful. And then we cut back to her in the kitchen and she's got the stupid checker board, like accessories. Like she's got the giant teacot, that's the size of like a small child checker board, a bowl that's checkerboard accessories. You've got the giant teacadle that's the size of a small child checkerboard, a bowl that's checkerboard. It's from the Carolina Manzo collection. All these weird checkerboard things

in this lovely Cape Cod house. Tamra, enough with if nothing else, get rid of the checkerboard kitchen accessories. Oh, so she ends all this with, oh my God, it's everything I can wish for and it's double-gated Yeah, you know what I'm it's everything she could wish for um I was gonna make a mean joke about being a race by her daughter, but I thought you know what no then Stay stay classy Ben stay classy. Okay, stay in the class is in bad. We have tons of time to roll in the mud.

I know. It's still too soon to get dirty. So then she's like, Brian, how do you feel about setting down a spat and frisking your different sets? Yeah, oh. So the news here is that Ryan Shocker loves Donald Trump and Spencer, who, Spencer does not. And so they

have a rift. Yeah, so they're fighting. And he's like, listen, mom, there's nothing wrong with Levin America. And she's like, I don't care about loving America. You threatened to punch him in the best. And he's like, well, he shouldn't have called me racist. Oh, really Ryan? What an interesting, what an interesting thing to be mad about Ryan. Let me find this article that I have pulled up right now. Tamer son Ryan. Oh, well, that's his transphobic rant. So we'll get to that. Okay. So guys, here's the first part. This is being shot. I believe in January. And this is what happened in January with Ryan. He got caught on Instagram saying some pretty hateful shit

Okay, one was about a baker who refused to make a cake for a trans person or something. Yeah And Ryan commented Hopefully this guy goes on a rampage and kills whatever trans transgendered fuckhead took him to court oops Did I just say that? So there's your first thing, you fucking asshole. So then in this one, he's talking, so anyway, we'll stick with this one for right now. So nobody's really gotten mad about this.

Nobody said anything. I can't believe they're even allowing this jackass on the show still. It's fucking disgusting, Bravo. Shame on you. So not only are they allowing him on, instead of making you to storyline, while this is happening,

they're just gonna make it into a general Trump thing. So Tamra can have at least, you know, half the country that's on Trump side, on her side. This is not even about that. Your son's a fucking homophob and a racist. Yeah. Jack asked. And of course trash makes trash, Tamra.

Yeah, he's like, you know, my brother got offended because I was four building the wall. And like just because I said that, he thought I was a racist. I was like, well, let's see. There is a president who said that Mexicans are rapists and criminals, et cetera. And the wall was built to keep them out. So the wall is basically the product of a policy that was rooted in racist rhetoric. So when you're for it, you know, sometimes people might think you're racist.

So you're gonna fight about it by punching him and threatening to hit him. Exactly. You're the worst dude. You're such a f**k. Good for Spencer by the way. Good for Spencer to stick up for his trash brother against his trash brother. And then Ryan, so then we get to this really creepy stuff. Oh wait, I have one thing. I have one get to this like really like a way. One thing. I'm so sorry. By all means.

I'm not done. Okay. Looking through this fuckers life. So speaking about the I'm not racist just because I said a thing about a wall. Okay, what about this Ryan? So Snoop Dogg did a tweet after after one of the mass shootings that we've been having way too many of in this country. Snoop Dogg put out a tweet that said, three of them killed 30 people, three of them killed

no one. Look at the differences in the mug shots. Oh my God. And the top row is three of the white mass shooters with not a scratch on them. And the bottom row is black, I don't know, people who got arrested, who are black, who are beat, the shit is beat out of all of them. So Ryan tweets, hey, at Snoop Dogg, fuck you. Enough said, done with people crying about racism when all these rappers glorify it.

So then, what's all the rappers glorify racism? Such an idiot. So then someone, uh, this is not Ryan's tweet, by the way, this is just some other asshole says black on black crime. Let's talk about that Snoop Dogg. Blacks do mass shootings of each other on a daily basis. Let's talk about how your people are just straight up fucking savages with no fucks to give because their ancestors were slaves. Every race was slaves at one point or another. And then Ryan replies to this person saying, fucking, thank you. Wow. So fuck you. You racist. Listen, we've always known he's garbage. He's been garbage since he first appeared on this show and in a way

It's been fascinating watching the evolution of his garbageness. It's like it's like you know it is It's like checking in the garbage can and being like oh, there's not a lot in there. Oh, there's a little bit more Oh, there's a little bit more and now it's time to stink and now that garbage can is like overflowing and you can't close the top on it And you know you know you've got to take it out, but it's just going to still keep growing because that's what we've seen with him. And then it cuts to this shot of him where like in his like interview

where now he's all clean-shaven. So he looks even creepier than he ever has looked before. He's like, you know, half my family is Mexican. The other half is black. It just doesn't make sense. I'm like, you're right. It doesn't make sense why you believe in this shit Because you do have family that's Mexican and black and you say this shit and you support this shit And of course Tamara because this is a big white wash over all of this stuff that Ryan was getting in trouble for like Oh, we're not gonna talk about this, you know

So there's another fuck you to Bravo that shitty of you guys. So you know, so there's another fuck you to Bravo, that shitty of you guys. So Tamer is like, well, the son, I'm not into politics, and I'm not gonna say which side is right. And he's like, oh, okay, mom, you wanna watch some Fox News with me because we can watch some Fox News.

And she's like, how about Sonan? And he's like, don't even say this way. Oh, mom. And they're trying to make it like this cute family who disagrees on politics. It's just like full garbage. And the fact that he's putting this spin, like he's like, oh, you know, I'm sorry

that I really support like a rigorous and intolerant sort of policy that that somehow makes me racist. It's like, and then he's the one who talks about Spencer needing to understand like if you say things, there's consequences to it. I'm Spencer needing to understand, like, if you say things, there's consequences to it. I'm like, yeah. So similarly, if you support certain things, you know, people are going to call you racist, you know, like if you do trashy things, which you often do, Ryan, people are going to call you trash, like we are doing right now. Yeah. And so, and suffer the consequences.

Yeah, like getting punched in the face. Yeah. You do. Yeah. It's so obnoxious. So Tamra basically is like, you know, Ryan is essentially jealous of Spencer because Ryan grew up with like nothing and He started to bald at 13 and Spencer is like smart and has a future ahead of him and has ambition and We like him more. So basically Ryan is jealous, and that's what it boils to. Which made me choose who was raised for and Ryan was raised fancy. So he's jealous. Well, you know what? Plenty of people who were raised without money are not jackass, you know, violent pieces of shit who get the cops called on them for abuse at their household. I mean, exactly. Yeah, exactly. And he's like, I don't hate Spencer. I just think he crossed the line. I hate this guy sends out these vile tweets These vile inconsiderate Intolerant tweets and supports, you know, again this policy and then he says that his brother crossed the line

I hate that and he's and he's the one who tries to punch your basis is the is crossing the line to call someone a racist like my god I know I know Oh my god. I watched this and I was disgusted just because I was really wondering how they were gonna deal with like the Trans tweets and the blood you know the the racist tweets and this is how they deal with it just really Really fucking gross. I will say thank you to bravo for this one thing that gives me life is rage And I'm gonna be filled filled I know it felt so good It felt so good to be so angry so early in the show. I was like so happy so so happy So now we go back to Shannon and Kelly. I'm like so angry right now Shannon and Kelly

I guess where they were going to the quiet woman and as they show up Shannon just goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Aquarium, man, that ironic. I'm doing all this fan, oh, go ahead. No, just doing a Shannon laugh. They do all these fancy shots like it's the fanciest place in the world. You know how they do it. Duh, duh, duh, duh, it's like a casino morongo commercial. But that looks like some of Spain's some soda on some ice. Put food on a tray.

It might get some pub. Yes. It's like, hey, where, where's Callie? I'm over here. I'm still latched onto the back of this car. You're a door. Can you, can someone release me from the car? Anyone?

So I'm having chest pains. So we're don't make the worry any better. We talked about Ryan. That's why I know kidding. I'm giving myself a coronary. Could you imagine? Probably I probably will die. Ronnie, if you have a heart attack, I don't want you having a heart attack. Like in within the same few minutes that we talked about, Tamra's trash son. Okay, so just like hold off for a second. Yeah, I would. I would have already attacked talking about fucking Tamra. That's who does me in to give me back for all these years of screaming rage at Tamra. So Santa, they're talking to Julius,

the manager, and Shannon's like, well, I would like to say, right now Julius, one of the last nights I was here at the quiet woman was when I tossed a plate with a spade on her head. Wow, what a crazy time. I'm much more stable now. I'm very emotionally stable. I would never ever throw a plate because I'm secure in the way I look and not at all angry about David Like surprises you it's more fun. You know we don't know what's coming like I might just don't have a plea

So Kelly orders an espresso martini. Huh, my god. What do you want below deck? I'm like sprisso montini. It's a spresso. Okay, can I have an espresso martini and then Shanagos with tequila? Yeah, with tequila. What the hell? What is that? Is it a tequila martini? I don't know. Never heard of that. Like espresso and tequila. Maybe it could work, but I just, I'm scared. I'm concerned.

That's horrifying. Yeah. So Shannon's been sort of hanging out with a guy that she just calls babe. She's like, well, I called a guy babe. He's the first time I've called someone babe ever. Huh? He's actually a very small pig and he talks and he's actually more of a, I just watched a

movie called, babe. I'll just say it. I watched a movie called, baby, but it was wonderful. I'm just dating, babe, to get to James Cronin. What a hotty. Well, you know, you know one of my favorite babes is Babe Ruth, who plays baseball. Home run on the bench, RBI stolen bees. Ah, love.

The old shaman loved baby Ruth, but that's over. So she's like, ah, so many guys there's babe. Then there's the guy who wears suits, and then there's the guy who owns a jean store. Ah! There's the guy who was married to me for 19 years and gave up on us. So then did you notice that girl standing right behind Shannon? Yes.

And she's just smiling at the camera like, I mean, she's trying to be on TV. She's acting like she's at the Today Show window. I'm surprised you didn't have a sign up saying, hi, we're grandma. Well, that is like hitting the lottery. Listen, we are too rich who have gone to the quiet woman. Yeah, we've said that. So we understand what that's like.

And so you know that's like hitting the jackpot. It's like housewives, fam, at the quiet woman just for that. And then Shannon and Kelly come in to shoot. I mean, that's kind of a dream come true. So they start gossiping about Gina and how she got a DIY and Shannon's like, well, the stupidest thing that could happen to anyone is having a salmon with no cream cheese and the second stupidest thing is a DIY in today's world.

I mean, I do why? And Shannon has changed so much and learned to let go of so many things. It's like, I mean, I don't know if you know how much. Oh no, sorry, I've read it a long lines, but she's like, this is the girl who said, who used the word self-medicate with me, which cost me tens of thousands of dollars, by the way, because David said I admitted to self-medicating on TV and then tried to.

And so she starts going into this whole thing. But yes, she did self-medicating, but she wasn't the one talking about that. Vicki was the one saying, listen, she's drinking so much and she's having a glass, she's all depressed and she's having a glass of wine or she's drinking every night before she goes to bed. And everyone around was just like, yeah, and she's having a glass of wine or she's drinking every night before she goes to bed. And everyone around was just like, yeah, and she even said, oh, self-medicating. And she's like, yeah, come on, Sherman. And on top of that, Shannon is the one who had the entire mental breakdown in the

Bahamas. So I think that's more of the incriminating evidence there. Yeah, but how are you going to still be friends with Vicki when Vicki was the one saying that? Come on. So, yeah. So then Kelly's friends, she has a friend's name, Elaine and Emily, I don't know where they're twins or whatever, but like suddenly like a bunch of women who looked exactly identical.

They looked like, um, like the Robert Palmer girls who are simply irresistible, who had her to bro dressed up as for one Halloween. It was like all those women just like arrived and sat down next to them And I was like what is happening? What's going on? Yeah, but it's like all the Robert Palmer girls in current time. Yeah Whatever happened to He's so fat. It's like the Rinda that was for cat life. She's so fine. She's hanging your wedding, man. She'll be a resourceful kitchen. The other day, Dorena posted this tweet that was a picture of James Gandalfini in a pool with Edie Falco.

It's like, is it exactly like us? I mean, this is just like me, John. Oh, I don't feel like I want them to be my comps for my, for like, if I'm gonna compare myself in my relationship, I'm not gonna go towards Carmella and Tony's a Pirano. Yeah, and as someone who struggles with weight, you know, I get it, I'm not gonna kill myself over it But I don't need you adding me as James Gandalfini on Twitter, especially if you supposedly love me. Please don't

Okay, so we learned that the new girl Bronwyn is gonna be showing up and Kelly's like no, I know You don't like new people like you were mean to a whole bunch of people like you know know, like, like, Megan and Emily and Gina and young gravy. She's like, now, ha, me. And let me see like a montage of Shannon just being miserable to everyone, which is, used to be Vicki's role. That was what Vicki used to do, but Shannon does a great job at it too. Yeah.

And Kelly's like, yeah, well, this girl has seven children and Shannon's like seven. Ha, ha, tap that on that children. And Shannon's like, seven! Wow, tap that on that one. Tap that. How do I want it? So then a creepy-ass guy in this purple shirt, like, shimmy's up, like, like Steve Marney's like, hey, I'm just one wild and crazy guy.

Hey, yeah, let's get it on. Huh? Huh? No, it's babe. Pig in the city. I don't have like, it's babe. Picking the city. I don't know how to pick in the blanket, that's what I would like. And Kelly's like, yeah, oh no, isn't this where she meets babe? Didn't Kelly introduce her to babe or is this who Shannon's been dating?

I think this is who Shannon's been dating because they like, I'm pretty sure they kiss, right? So I don't think this is the first time Shannon's met babe. Well, they kiss, that's why I was like, Shannon, you little girl. No. I wrote Dan Kelly said, Shannon, oh no, maybe Shannon said it. This was my friend, babe. He's hot.

He's got someone said he's hot. He's got hair. That was, he's, he's, he's got that. Kelly said that. And his shirts unbuttoned like down to the belly button, you know. Do you know where John Connor is, babe? Do you? I'm just gonna push that idea because I'm just amused by the idea of Kelly being a terminator. I'm just gonna do

it the whole rest of the episode and you're just like, where are you? Where John Connor? He's a little dork. So um, Bronwyn comes in and Shannon just gives her the Shannon look for the new people. She's like, she's giving her half face. Look at you new person. And she's also mad that she's extremely extremely good shape. So Shannon just gives her this stink eye and then makes herself smile and she's like, ah, wait, this is your friend with seven kids. That is crazy! I'm not jealous at all that she's in a stable marriage. I've had many children that has not affected her weight at all. I'm happy for her. Look that's very accepting of young gravy over here. Well, if young gravy wanted people to like her, then she shouldn't have her first name be young. That is not.

I started gravy 30 year old. Well miss, well miss young gravy year old. I start gravies Kelly's like how did you nurse all those babies? Well, but here's how I did it the first one I nurse 26 months and the next one 16 months and the one after the I'll just forget it Just I couldn't I just started putting cream cheese in her mouth. I would just attach her to the chandelier and make go up and down a bunch of times.

So then Kelly's like, yeah, look at it. She pressed that too long. Look at our boobs. Does she meet a poop lift? She needs a lift. She had a needs a poop lift. Yeah. So, uh, uh, Bronwyn describes that her mom is 64. Like the reason why Bronwyn looks so good is because her mom is 64 and still wears a bikini and we see a picture of this mother and she is wearing, she is wearing a bikini and she's got like dreads and she's also a doctor, her name is Dr. Deb and she's into plant-based medicines. She's basically like a new version of Lydia's mom, but even more out there. Yeah, she's Lydia's mother played by Betsy Johnson. Right. Oh dear. She looks just like her.

So then Shannon's like, well, this is about fun. I'm gonna dance. I'm gonna care. I'm gonna do what I, mozzarella'm gonna do what I'm not to realistic possibly do what I want to not the more to realistic again they were the end of me so we speaking of fun we then head over to Emily at home where she's helping her kids reading something which is basically her scene I catch me like do you see bits, see spider, quiet? She's quiet. And the kids are just being nightmares,

because they're young, you know, they're running all over, it's screaming and yelling. And she's like, I'm gonna call daddy, you just keep reading. So she face time, Shane. And Shane is like She's like are you sort the library she's like no Are you at your parents house?

Yeah, it's my girl. I'm bad. No, it's my girlfriend's bedroom King of snorkezz Yeah, it's my girlfriend's bedroom. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I like also that Emily was like, don't pick your nose. Do not pick your nose and that she stops and like as his bookers I'll ever hand and then just like picks up the phone and starts dialing. I was like, oh God, this poor Emily. I feel for Emily right now. I know, I also like Fisker. Fisker like walked into the room with like a little bandana.

I'm like, okay, you want to fucking kick me? I'm ready for you now, bitches. It was a big boy. Fisker. Fisker's taking no more shit from this family. No, never again. That poor dog has like a little limp. It's like been through a lot.

It finally has like gained the confidence to like attack his bullies. And tell me, tell me, Emily tells us, you know, she's upset because she stuck home with the kids. She's working all day. Her husband is like studying, so he's never home, you know, so he's like taking his break because he told her and I'm gonna pass the bar the third time I'm gonna need to not have kids around me so now he's just never there yeah and so poor thing is miserable

and you can tell in her interview look too I mean Emily and Gina both have the most depressing interview looks I've ever seen yeah Emily's is like a red dress, like a boobalicious dress, the dress is fine. But she's wearing these big, thick gold chains, you know, around. And it's just such symbolism. I'm just still so bad for her. And she's trying to face Thomas Jane and the kids are making all this noise. And she's like, turn off your book. Turn off your book.

I'm like, if your book has to be turned off, I don't think it was a smart purchase in the first place. What? Books are not electric. If you'll close my... If my book has to be turned off, it would not a Kindle. It was not a Kindle, okay. Open my chaps, open my chaps, open my chaps. I'm gonna kill you.

Yeah, she just gives them all little bags of pirate food, pirate booty. And then you just, there's a wide shot There's a wide shot of the living room and she's on the phone She's one kid who's like pushing this like speaking book another kid doing something else and another kid I don't know if you saw this another kid was doing like a slow dance with Fisker Fisker was on his back legs and the other kid was holding Fisker by the pause and they were dancing Fisker's like I came they were dancing. Yeah. That was like, Fisker's like, I came into fight and I found love instead. Yeah.

This is why I've decided to stop being less defensive. Ha. It's like a little show. I walked her down. Fuck. So Emily's like Shane, it would be really great if you could like come home to help. And Shane's

like, mag, you're doing just fine. I love that. Shane's coming back for his second season. You know, normally this is where husbands try to redeem themselves, especially after last season, when Emily was saying at the reunion that he's taken so much shit from people and people are so mean to them online. And so this season he just comes back being a prick. I'm just gonna just double down on that. He's not gonna change for anyone. And guess what? People with kids study for the bar and they still help out at home. What are you five? Going to your mom's house to hide in your bedroom from your own children. Come on. Yeah. So now we go over to a place called Katmosphere where we are about to have a behind the scenes look at the new feature film cats. Sorry. Yeah this is like a cat adoption place. So a place where you go when you can pet the cats and everything. So Kelly and

Jolie go to Catmosphere. Catmosphere Laguna and Kelly tells us she's like I want to get a ferro cat. I I wanna get a lot of rats on the beach. There are a lot of rats, there are dorks. Dorks on the beach called rats. I wanna get a feral cat to kill them. Feral, she kept saying feral. I wanna get a feral cat, like Mia. She catches so many rats, a feral cat.

Jolie's like, no, no one wants a cat. That's like Mia feral, okay. So I don't want a Farocat I want a Farocat she just keeps saying that so then the producers like no it's not Farocat It's Farocat and she's like good cuz I always wanted to name my cat Will Faro She probably goes like sprouts and it's like do you guys own a feral no that's a pharaoh what I can't keep up So So they go in Christmas girls So that so we go into this place and there's like a there's a lady at like the front desk and her little placard says

Crazy cat lady and the phone rings and she goes me out thank you for calling cat and spirit laguna can I help you And the other desk that he's like okay guys if you're gonna come in and see the cats we're gonna need you to sign away for and Kelly It's like why is it gonna scratch me? I'm gonna fail So I mean I'd love the fact that this scene is rooted in the idea that there's a rat problem in Newport. They're getting self-defense cats. So the thing is that Kelly hates cats, but she wants to get a cat because of the rampant rat problem that she's facing. And she's like, I've been in cat fights before. And then we see a montage of Kelly fighting,

but they dubbed over like cat fight sounds, which was more funny than it really should have been. Oh, it's pretty good. You are. Ah! So, so she's telling the lady, she wants this cat to kill the rats. And she's like, but I think there are coyotes on the beach.

So the lady's like, yeah, when we adopt our cats out, we prefer that they stay indoors. And she's like, whoa, so next year on real houses of Orange County. So it turns out there's a rampant drake hat problem in Newport now. Don't know how that happened. So she's like, she's talking about how she doesn't like hats because they poo in peanut box. And she's like, it's gross.

I'm like, hello, that is like the most, the best perk of a cat is that like, you know what dogs or other animals, you gotta like race back, I was just gonna shit on your floor. Like a big ol' shit right there, but with the cat but the cat they like they do their own thing they bury it I mean that is like I mean how could you not love that yeah yeah we're just different people you know I like I like an animal that takes care of itself so she won't touch the cat she's freaking out and then they sit down to talk and joley is Kelly's like I don't like touching

pussy's so let's have a mother to daughter talk now did dad ask you about Brian and she's like no she's like oh because he's mad that I introduced him to you right and they have this like conversation and I guess it's Jolie is saying something like how gold diggers go after Michael but Kelly goes after rich people or something like that. And she's like like the milk man she's like no the milk man was poor. She was poor. Or yeah, then we get a clip of the milk bank going. I like tacos, the retes, ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- Oh, classic cat. I've ever seen someone terrified of cats. I know, especially when they've been sent from the future. So, Ojina and Emily go have lunch. And Emily is in a bizarre clown collar homage from a room sweater.

What the fuck is Emily wearing, right? I don't know. Like, I really think that she's going to show up at Mickey's for their midnight drag show anytime soon. Lesser. So then Gina, they're looking over the menu and it's super awkward and Gina's like, yeah, I've had a big appetite because you know what happened. And it's just silence while Emily is looking at her like stink face stink face stink face stink face stink face. She's okay. Tell me what happened even though Emily is the one who it sounds like Emily's the one who got her out of jail Right or something it sounded like that from what they were talking, but she's like all right

Tell me this is totally not something we're doing just for the cameras. So Jean is like well I was at a warm event at my friends, and you know, looking at leggings, leggings, shorts, more leggings, big leggings, and small leggings. And you don't think you give you a little cup, and they pour it up over and over again. It's like wine, wine, wine, so much wine, it's hard to keep track of. And I'm like, so did you know how much you had? She was, aww, yeah, but I felt okay. I'm like, you did you know how much you had? She was, aw, yeah, but I felt okay. I'm like, you can't talk about how to do a little cup of wine that they kept refilling without your knowledge.

And you're like, no, I told you how much I had. Yeah, she's like, well, I mean, I know I drank, but I just wanted to get home to the kids. And she's like, well, when they pulled you over, did you think to UI? And she's like, no, not at all. I mean, like, I didn't think it was for that at all. And then, you know, the girl that was with me,

my passenger and the passenger, she had a roadie. And Emily's like, oh, so you're just all jackasses. You know, my biggest concern when I got pulled over, I was worried that the police officer could smell the mozzarella sticks on my breath. So Emily tells us, that's not a good thing to do. You can get your license taken away and you're always going to be known as someone with a do you why, which means you're irresponsible and make bad decisions.

Cut to Emily's children, like tearing apart the pillows. So Gina, cut to your children kicking a dog. Exactly. That's kind of being a psychopath. So Gina is like, I was so scary when I went to the jail. Like, all the cells, they don't have clear walls. And you can see from cell to cell to cell. And I'm telling you, not a single cell had a pillow

that said, gather. How do we know where to gather? Okay, it was terrifying. It was just one guy in there, and he was bashing his head up against the glass over and over and I thought oh my god, am I gonna be putting this out with a crazy guy? I was like when this camera gonna get Ryan out of here he's hurting himself, I'm so crazy and awful.

Where was she but what was she saying? He didn't mean this kind of wall, I didn't mean this kind of wall. I'm on the wrong side. Also was like Gina put into like Magneto's prison or something like that. Why was she in this like giant like like a prison that she's like a child in the cell next to her moving the toilet around with his eyes. Her prison experience was directed by Tarsim or something. Like, what? What is happening? Where did she go?

Where did they send her? So she's like, you disappointed me. And Emily's like, no. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Actually, it was a dumb thing to do. You know, you're lucky it didn't become a custody issue because that could immediately become a nightmare for you.

And she tells us, Gina's drinking more, her divorce is more difficult than she's letting on and it manifests in stupid decisions. I was like, did she pick out that sweater for you? Because that would explain a lot. You still like me as a friend though, right? Yeah. No. I love when you got rehearsal. No Going on just don't put your piss off in that position that will endanger anyone else

And I know you're a good person and I'm a good mom and I love you and check please she's paying Exactly so now we go over to Bronwyn's house where at where 641 in the morning with the baby and I was like already Bracing I was like okay, let me see how this scene is gonna go. It's gonna be oh It's so hard having so many kids it never ends being a mom It's so hard, but it's like it's so rewarding But there's always this to be done and this to be done. I was like I'm not ready for this I do I hate these sort of scenes and guess what? It wasn't like that at all. Yeah, I was I was I was kind of surprised to you. I was really scared when I saw this a picture calendar or you know that you

get made at the oh no. Yeah, or Walgreens or whatever and it's a photo calendar and it says every family has a story in that cursive. Yeah. Yours are yours. But you know what, Ronnie, I also was scared about that. And know it's worse, Ronnie, you were actually incorrect about something. It was not a calendar. It was a family picture that was on the wall.

And those words were painted on the wall above and below it. What did I do? Yeah, because I looked at it, at first I was like, oh, what a stupid calendar. And I was like, wait a second. That's written on the wall. I was like, okay, this woman is terrible. Yeah, so this is afraid. But then she, you know, she seems fine to me.

I mean, she's actually fine, yeah. We'll say this. She talks way too much. And she talks very quickly, taking notes. I was like, what is I've got two pages of notes of her just monologuing about her family and here's why I had kids. Okay. You know, I don't know anyone with seven kids in those seat. Belly's the introvert. Rowan's a classical dancer. Jacob's a musical kid. The twins Caden is the Caden of sweet and current like sings his way. And Koa is a Tasmania devil and Hazel

is happy all the time. The best baby you can hope for. I mean, everyone thought we were in a calm you. Cause we didn't always have here. We lived in Miami. They don't really bear with their children. I mean, it is like blah, blah, blah. That is so much. It was, it was definitely a lot of exposition. But I guess when you have seven kids, you need a lot of exposition. The kids seemed overall like nice kids and well-behaved and everything was like, it just, I was just shocked that it was everything that I expected from her so far in this early scene did not come to fruition I mean that that painting aside she was like she was actually pretty chill and she even was saying at one point like since they're from Miami she was like she basically was like you know when we like the

wives in Miami they knew that being a parent was part of your identity But in Orange County, it's a competitive sport. I was like oh, so she doesn't like She doesn't even like to even lead about the fact that she's like a big well, it's not that lead But I was like either way. I was surprised. I was surprised Yeah, and she's like someone said is your son even going to an act is his school academic enough and she's like he plays in the dirt Like fucking carers. Yeah. So she was born in a trailer park in Delaware and then her mom fell in love with the

surfer from Huntington. So they went to visit the grandfather in Laguna and he was rich as hell. And she's like, and that's when I was like, I want a nice life. So it's going to happen. And she met Sean, her husband at a frapp party. And he was like, Hey, are you Jerry Hall from Star Trek? And she's like, no, I'm Bronwyn and they got married and they went and and happily ever after and then we see Sean Sean has to go back to Miami for something and he's like, oh, I guess

Spronwyn mentions it and then the kids like, what? Miami? Wait, I didn't know seriously dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad know seriously dad dad dad dad dad Dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad I like when they were coming down for breakfast and she puts the baby in my chair and she takes a bag of pirate booty I don't know why pirate booty is all over the world. I'm really just playing but she's like we don't eat booty for breakfast We do not eat booty for breakfast Do not eat booty for breakfast The baby is like just like reaching for with his like delicate like wrist flare like no I will have parabidi thank you So yeah, so then we go over to Kelly

Pelicans in the rain There's Pelicans flying in the rain Pelicans in the rain So we go over to Kelly. She's going to cosmetic here Pelicans flying in the rain. Pelicans in the rain. So we go over to Kelly. She's going to Cosmetic Air. Oh, he's Brian. He's a dwarf.

Brian Reagan. Oh. And so she walks into this office. And he's like, hey, stay and try. And she's like, not around you. He's like, OK, then. I'm trying to see if my vagina's wet right now. They're wet right now. What vagina?

So he's got he Brian got her a whole bunch of roses. And then he's like so cheesy all of a sudden. He's like, hey, listen, I just want to thank you for the past couple of months. I you really meant a lot. So here is a shoebox greeting card for you. Maxine can say it better than me And a gift and I just he had a secretary bring him the flyer So I just thought was funny. He's like thanks cat. Kale. What you close the door?

He pulls out the little gift and behind him is another dozen roses So I'm like, well, where did you get your roses, Dr. What is going on here? So Kelly's reading the card like roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a boner, I hope it goes in you. Oh, that is so sweet. So he's like, hey, this is Sophia Sophia day. She's a very hot designer very hot very hot very hot Those are diamonds done in rose gold. I love rose gold. I know I listen to you. That's how I knew Oh, it was like wow. This is a really exciting romance happening right now So yeah, they talk today. So they talk about Michael and how Michael doesn't want to meet Brian and all this stuff because all this

complications are truly and Michael does you know maybe Michael's jealous yada yada yada. Yeah, oh sorry. Sorry. I was like yada yada yada to Ronnie. Passing it off to Ronnie because I didn't write any more notes about the scene. I just said Michael doesn't want to be Brian. That's it. So then Tamra and Shannon are in a car driving. It just, I'd love to cross over it, UV. Wow, I'll tell you, cross over.

My fat turned back from my body. And it's raining still. And so Shannon's like, please drive carefully. And she's like, I know. I thought, that's love it. And you's like, please drive carefully. And it's like, I know. I thought that's not slurling. And you said, mom, shut up. I was like, well, that's good. I mean, at least he wasn't saying, you know, something racist.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like trying to think of something acceptable and horrible at the same time. I'm like, that just give it a camera. Okay, she doesn't deserve it. So, Shannon, if you'd noticed in the episode, Shannon's face looked slightly refreshed, and that's because two weeks earlier, she went and saw Dr. Reagan herself, and we see footage of this like needle thing, like, it's like that scene in the movie Brazil. That's what was happening.

She just lifted over her head, you know. So, uh, Tamron wants to have, like, some sort of like, Betts party or Betts, but Betts Bikyu, you know, I'm not sure, something like that. A Betts, Betts, here. House Betching, I don't know. So, so she's gonna have everybody over and then they drive up to Brian's office and they see Kelly's car there, which is a G-Wagon,

that looks mustard yellow to me. I'm not sure what color it's supposed to be. Or a yellow non-traditional G-Wagon color. Yeah, I was like, I don't know about those G-Wagon and didn't you, wasn't you leasing early in the, earlier in the episode? God, this car is so ugly. And Kelly's like, no, it's not. It's like Indiana Jones. I must have, I probably, she probably said that and I probably didn't think anything of it because I didn't realize the exterior of the car was this strange color.

Yeah, and Tamer's like, oh my God, that's the ugly color Jib back and I've ever said it by life. It looks like Babishat. It looks like Sabra. I'm like, it's literally the same color as your shirt and the makeup you have on your face. So, don't wanna break any bad news to you, but yes, you have proof face and it looks like Tyria.

Oh my God. Do you want to get into tweets? Oh my God. Of course. Yes. Of course I have to tell everybody what happens. What happens? So Kelly and Kelly and Tamera obviously are not

going to be getting along the season at some point because they're fighting on Twitter. Because she and these are all out of order. I was just as people post them. Okay, so this one is Kelly Todd going, living in Kodo, your rich LMFAO for laughing emojis. Who says that? Kodo is in the sticks and then Tamera replies,

I pay for my houses, I don't date old men for money. And Kelly wrote back, and my boyfriend is your age. So I guess you're saying you're old. LMFAO six, six laughing faces. And so Tamer writes, let's compare income if it bothers you that much, laughing face. And she goes, take your CBD and relax.

Michael was a president of many public companies. And I was left with a windfall. Not a salary. You rely on solely. Who did you marry? A spinning instructor? When you time runs out on the show, hashtag you are next. Let's see if your husband sticks around. Hashtag sugar mama. Notice that he doesn't know. She She doesn't say, I don't marry for money. She just like, yeah. She tracks about it. She's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's all I have. It was very busy social media because a lot of shit was happening on social media during the Bachelor in Paradise last night. So my screenshots look insane. It'll lots to begin. Yeah. So they are arriving.

They arrive at the office. Uh, there's like a step and repeat in the office. I'm like, I, I feel like that's excessive having a step and repeat in the doctor's office. Yeah. I guess the shop the new looks, but still. Yeah. And they're all looking at before and after pictures of each other because I guess they've all had stuff done. Yeah. So they're, yeah, they're basically there. Cause Shannon, Shannon needs to get a follow up and Kelly's getting Botox. So they're all like having like a, like a plastic surgery moment. Yeah. Uh, so Kelly's, Shanna's sitting there and he's looking at her face. And he's like, well, here's the benefits of a taking bones from your toe,

putting them on your cheek or whatever, whatever the fuck they're talking about. And Kelly's's Kelly's like What are you doing something with their boobs? Just something with their boobs and I was like yeah, shinna's beds Shinnna's bed. Just something with that bed and Shannon makes a sad look Yeah, and Kelly's like, but you're skinny now and you're dating Man, don't want to motorboat old Shannon titty say what water melon titty's No one wants pancake titty's No one wants pancake titties.

Well, I actually call them my young rabies, so I thought I was pretty and being pretty current, but... So then it switches over to her party. The party that's coming up. And Cameron's like, Keller, I was gonna ask you if you'd be okay if I invited Vickers to the party. And Kelly's like, if I see her all walk the other way, fuck her! Yeah, because I had forgotten about this, but at the reunion last year, Vicky chose Kelly

of doing coke, so we got to see that interaction again, like, but he said I don't do coke. What? I don't do coke? I don't do coke in my life! You don't coke! You're a coke! You're a coke in all of them! You're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke,

you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke,

you're a coke, coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke, you're a coke And now it's a thing. Yeah, now's your lead can't invite her friends over because they think that they're gonna have like that Kelly's gonna be doing coke at the house. Yeah. Could you imagine if Kelly were that sort of coke head like she's just out there doing lines while her daughter and her friends just walking around. I know. Kelly's all worried about whose friends can come over when she's like trying to get like an army of feral cats around the house. I don't know if I'm saying. Yeah, I'm saying. So, uh, Tant, did you notice that Tamra got in there?

Well, I didn't want to break girl code of anything. Oh, of course, never. Tamra would never do that. Yeah, she got in trouble last year for inviting people or whatever. So, uh, that's over now. We're going to forget about last year as much as possible. Okay, guys. Yeah, and Kelly's just like

Oh sure, I just got really drunken sloppy and then Evikis there are that bitches really going in the pool. I'm like, yes I would totally support that get drunken sloppy Kelly. That's what we want to see and of course tamer the good person It's like I just you know, I just want this to get along That's not about just for this to get along, but no one is taking the papas steps to get along. That's not about just for this day to get along, but no one is taking the papas steps to get along. It's all she wants. It's all she wants. It's just a peaceful world, guys. Yeah. And that was the end of the episode. So I actually feel like pretty entertaining. I'm hopefully like fingers crossed, fingers crossed, they got their mojo back. Yeah, we'll see.

I will tell everybody, but yeah, this is a really fun one. Everybody, thanks so much for listening to this. We love you guys. Go get your live show tickets, T-shirts, your Discord server, your bonus episodes for house hunters. Go get them. Okay, go watch what's.com. For more info about the housewives,

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