Watch What Crappens - RHOC: When Push Comes to Shove - Live from San Fran

Episode Date: April 3, 2022

On a group trip to Aspen, The Real Housewives of Orange County lose their mind with several chaotic spats culminating in Noella accusing Heather of shoving a cameraman. It's the sort of low-stakes, high emotion fight we live for. Thanks to everyone who came out to see us in San Francisco!Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been a much more crabbid, much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid,

I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, I've been a much more crabbid, Oh my god. Damn, you got him. Damn. You little rascals. I think it's official. I think this is the loudest room we've ever had.

Not a joke. Thank you. So proud. Wow. That is God. That is not me pandering to the crowd, because I will pandr to the crowd. I will do that. Thank you. Being here is really special to us.

I mean, you guys are always good to us, and there are so many OG crap and listeners. Yes, there are so many OG crap in the listener. Yes, there are. And you guys have really brought us, you know, to non-weighting tables. Yup, a space. We cannot thank you enough. We love you guys. Yeah.

And we are way over due for coming here because even before the pandemic I mean, it's been like four years so thanks for waiting We finally made it back. I don't I don't think they finished cleaning up the last venue yet. No And we have we have also some swinging from the fucking disco balls It was crazy my shoes are still sticky. I still have those seats. But we have some premium and super premium Patreon sponsors here. We've got Miss Shannon There she is. She knows it's no trickle-ass it's Aaron Nicolais. You can't have a burger without the bird.

And of course the Bay Area Batchers. Of course. The Bay Area Fetchers. Bay Area Fetchers Fetchers. Oh! Oh! Oh! This is the closest I've ever felt to being like, I'm on the prices right.

Oh! We just called four people up. Well, it is great to be back here and I've seen so many signs that this was going to be so great. I was behind a little Kyle Richards stupid car on the way here. Oh the Vanderhall. Short what do you call him? I think it's the Vanderhall.

I love that she even tries to drive a Vander something. Tell me. Hey Kyle, I know it's your off season but fuck you lady. I maintain my fuck you, lady. I maintain my fuck you, Carl Richards. I'm also started with so many dogs. So in my hotel in Denver, there was a hotel dog. I swear. And it was an Archie.

It was a golden retriever. Archie! I said, who took as a dog? Because you walk at the front desk, is there, and the dog gets what the dog's doing, sitting there with a fucking ball. And I walked in, I said, you fucking addict. Because those dogs, those golden trees, I'm telling you.

Every dog likes a ball, but goldens are sick heroin addicts. I saw a guy today on a bike with a corgi on his back. He bicycled by and then after that I saw the craziest car. It almost looked like it had a nerd cap on with a little propeller. I think it had turbines on it. And I was saying to my friends, what is this car? That's one of the self-driving cars. I was like, self-driving car.

That's where in the NURD alert, I like that it's got the little. Just when college was so excited about getting a van to hall. I was like, oh. Also, I'm really excited that we're doing Real Housewives of Orange County tonight. Oh my gosh. It's a mess. This whole episode is gonna be a mess.

We were looking at the notes back there, and I was like, what the fuck is this, even? But I'm like, you know, I'm a little scared for myself because on the airplane over here, I realized that I'm actually turning into Heather DeBro and I apologize in advance because the flight into, turning into, DeBro and I apologize in advance. Because the flight into, turning into, thank you, babe.

I mean, I've been. But like the flight attendant came by and I requested, I requested, I wanted an iced coffee, you know, so I said, I noticed that all my gestures were ahead of the DeBro. First, I classed my hands into this. I was like, excuse me.

And then I literally said, actually, no, it wasn't iced coffee, it was just orange juice. It was literally just orange juice. I'm like, I'll have an orange juice, please. And as she's getting the orange juice, I did the Heather DeBro. We haven't really talked about this, but she has like a flap that she does.

And I did it, she goes like this, no ice, no ice. I just started doing this thing, and I was like, oh my God, I'm turning into Heather DeBro. Thank you. It's flapping. I'm still Gina. I mean, if we're gonna... I love the...

I love to mock Gina, but I am such a poor bitch, okay? So, this is my second dog, okay? So the lady comes to get me for the airport and I get a notification... By the way, while the Uber is driving up, I get a notification. There's a hypothergenic dog in your Uber. Is that okay? I was like, fuck a hypother...

No, it's not. Get a regular dog. Also get an allergic dog. Or take the fucking allergy dog. Okay, is that an option? This lady comes and she said, I'm going gonna need you to put on, it was like a Merit at the Mars. And Carol the Domino's delivery lady in my neighborhood

Who still is obsessed with the ring camera. She still comes up to their ring and goes, hi I'm not literally in the ring Carol, all right I'm not literally in the ring, Carol, all right. But this lady was like that kind of vibe, you know? And she said, Surnin and Mingi to put your mask. I said, oh no, I have it right here. And she said, put it on. I'm like, okay, right?

So I put it on and then she goes, looks at me in the rear of me mirror and then goes, click and unlocks the doors. Oh, it's like, Oh, it's a dance, it, you have a dog in here. How dare you? It's very important because my little toddler Brooks can't get the vaccine.

Yeah, he's only negative three months old. You cannot call me. I'm not. I choose not. I'm sorry. I'm not in a place right now where I can have you in my car. It's not. I'm going to spend you an evening review besides I made support right now. I've never done something different for a time. I need support right now. Now we're going to have some difficult time at night. So... God damn that hurts.

That's the network I joined Meredith Merck's. Thank you Catherine Hepburn for coming down and inching me for that. It's so on golden pond by the end isn't it? Wow. It's terrible I know. You're right to almost do. You should have just gone for it. Feel free. You know I'm not going to get up. You can do whatever the fuck you want to be. My ass will be planted right here. Oh! This iPad doesn't recognize me in this lighting.

We put my niece's birthday in here, because that is now the passcode. Well, welcome to Watcher Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. Yes. Okay. Oh my goodness. Yes, go for the towel. Get that towel going. All right. Drinking a local beer from Berkeley. It's called Chumer. Chumer. This is an intense one, so let's get prepared. Yeah.

This is a big episode. This is gonna be a crazy one. We're gonna get lost to our notes 10 times. Okay. You ready? I'm ready. Previously on the real housewives. With Orange County. Ah! I feel like we just all need a change of scenery. Housewives with Orange County.

I feel like we just all need a change of scenery. So we're going to go to... We're going to go on a girls trip. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance. They're trying. They're trying and I know how to. And if you think I do, that's your problem. There was a vibe of that dinner being once a home. It's not a competition.

Do I have to walk away because I can't get a word in at life? Too much? And sin. So we open in Doella's soon to be taking away closet. Keep bragging girl, you know? Just keep bragging. I love what a housewife knows. people are going to come take their shit. And they're like, oh my god, look at my shit now boots. I'm like, mm-hmm. I'm looking at him.

I'm getting ready to bid on that shit, you know? Yep. So she's, oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I was literally going to say that she's playing with her dog It's not a very exciting comment. She's with her non-hypoallergenic dog. You go Rihanna, Rihanna Yeah, Rihanna and she's like hey, baby. We're going to us And then he went to Aspen! Ha ha ha ha! Don't have sex with mommy's boots!

And it... It cussed the dog trying to fuck these furry ones that he has? It's the sweet James of dogs. Like that boot better not get too attached. Dogs are so funny. But you know, so were humans. There was a headline the other day that said two out of three married couples would prefer having a threesome with a sex bot.

Like, who would you ask? Who? What was that poll? It's a strange thing. So I got it. The whole world's just gone, it's just like, I'm going, yeah, Christo Gieser. Like everybody's gorgging out of her everything. We've been stuck at home so long. It's just like, give me a mic. Oh, fuck it. So, Noelle is mom walks in. I mean, Noelle's mom seems like a perfectly lovely person.

But like, who can say, really? I mean, when you freeze your face that much, as someone who's just dipped his very frozen toe into the Botox pool, I don't even know who I am anymore. Look. I was like, just make sure I can speak and squint this night. And that's no Ellis Mavs. He's just like, hi.

Like, are you crying? Or are you thrilled to be here? She's also like so hi. Like, are you crying? Or are you thrilled to be here? She's also so uninterested in playing the part of having to do these scenes. She reminds me of when you're in a room, and then you hear a clatter or a noise in the other room, like something fell over, and then a can rolls into the room slowly, and you're like, huh.

That's how the energy she has when she walks in. Like, a can that fell off of something she has when she walks in. Like, I can't that fell off of something and I'm just rolling in. I'm not saying she's a can. I'm saying she has can energy. It's like clearly the dog knocked over the trash and a can can rolling down the hallway. I'm at that point.

I don't even care. I used to be scared of every noise, you know? And now I live like, well, I've always lived alone. Like, who am I kidding? Like, you know, after my string of successful relationships. I mean, yeah. But all here noise is like the door is opening and I'll like press pause on the PlayStation,

just kind of look and be like, fuck it, just take, kill me. Like, if you're gonna, if you're gonna make that much effort, you know, good luck hiding the body. take, kill me. Like, if you're gonna, if you're gonna make about much effort, you know, good luck hiding the body. Yeah, good luck. So the mom comes in and she's like, hi honey, oh, you didn't tell me about last night.

Can't wait to hear about it. She's like, well, unfortunately at Gina's party, we all got along and nobody was fighting and Everyone was phenomenal About that's passing and it can only go up from here. Oh don't listen to me don't change change Chinks now this dad thing we haven't really talked about but there's some Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh get it, I know, but I still love that shit. What can I tell you, you know? And so last week after my dad just passed away episode,

people were like, excuse me, but I Googled Christopher Nance. And he died 10 years ago. Like, yeah. Right? So that was a big thing. And we had just done take a seat where we're always looking for shit like this. It's talking about.

And I was like, damn it, this always happens right after. Thank God because it was some other Christopher Nance. Oh, listen as a housewives fan once that gets in your head it never leaves. Like I know I even know everything about this other fucking nance okay. You know if this were on Salt Lake City you would be a whole season like wait so she told you her dad was Christopher Nance, but there was another Christopher Nance? Does he work for the FBI? I don't understand.

Because you know, I immediately fell for Noella. I was like, yes, saving your dad's death is a storyline for 10 years. I mean, I'm a fast, I mean. But no, but no, she didn't do it. Bow. I mean. I mean. I mean. But no, but no she didn't do it. Bow, I bow. So even though I know that it's not true, I'm still like, oh my gosh, she's got balls that one.

But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no matter what you think of it, I just love the origin of yes. I think she forgot the line about copying Bronwyn or the other way around. Oh, that's true. Copping Bronwyn. I actually believe it or not, my controversial hot dick is that I'm a big fan of the chaos that is NOL. She's a disaster.

I'm not often on her side, but I love that she's there in our lives, okay? She's Lini too. She is wonderful for me. She's wonderful for me, and I historically to quote Heather DeBro, I historically always am on the wrong side of all these things, so don't worry. Don't worry everyone. If I'm liking her, that means that you're on the right side. I know. We love her. She'll be canceled and fired very soon. So speaking of Heather Debrot, it will be at her next wedding. I'll tell you that next. Yes, that will happen. We will be doing that.

So, um, so that's speaking of Heather Debrot, we then go over to like a camping store. It's like an RRI kind of place, but of course, since it's Heather Debrot, it has to be called Green Room, right? Reserved, camping goods reserved for people who are on hot and Cleveland. And she's browsing through it with her son. And even like, she can even turn camping goods

into something obnoxious, because she's like trying to pick out stuff for Colorado. And then she goes, I mean, I have all this stuff, but that's like, boozy, I just have boozy versions of it. He's like, yeah, you need a burner set, mom. Ha-ha-ha. She means things to hang around poor people in. Because Heather's just so fucking modest, you know?

I love that. I also just love her laughing at the idea of a burner set of campings because laughing at the idea of a burner set of camping goods because she has no idea what a burner set is. She's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, what does that mean? What does that mean? So then we go over to Shannon packing. That's our big packing moment, if you couldn't tell. John's over in her closet, fucking a boot. moment, if you couldn't tell, John's over in her closet, fucking a boot. It's a trend. We're all doing it now. So Shannon is unpacking and Shannon, you know, this is why you've got to love Shannon. She saw as an unpack from last time.

That's very much. From the suitcase and ports out all the ship from last time. And you know there's like five hotel pins there. You know where all, you know Shannon is all of us. It's like that little pad of paper that says Maryott. I'm like, why? Why do I have this? Here's some leftover, some burritos that no one seemed to want for my attempt to reboot, freeze tracer me, yes, but I find.

Fine. Just give those to my daughters if they ever come home So John John how do I even pack for this? I mean this was from cobbled job look at the weather But you look at the weather John John look at the weather Just sent me his cast amigos like What was that I'm on your side baby and So it's gonna be okay. It's 53 and she goes, degrees! Jelly beans, 53 jelly beans. So he's like, well, you're going to be cold because you're not used to it.

I was married to David. I'm very used to coldness. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Well, I guess I'm going to be cold. Hmm!

Michael, she's passively aggressive. She's passive aggressively angry with the weather. Yeah. So, she's like, well, I haven't talked yet, but I'm sure that everything is going to be fine with Gina. I'm just going to keep my distance and maybe not be your best friend. So I'm like, fuck that bitch. I hate that bitch. I hope you guys hope that bitch falls into a pool and drowns.

OK, John. Well, when I'm on vacation, I'm fun. I'm fun, China. And you know that. Like, look, you can already see the fun happening. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm fun-shanning and you know that like look you can already see the fun happening It's just it's very hard sometimes to be fun I don't think people realize how difficult it is to be fun and I woke up at 8 a.m. This morning and thought fun and it was a Very hard

So very hard. I'm so happy. She can't even be fun, Shannon, anymore, because she's afraid of being called jealous. You know? I got fun, not more fun, but not the most fun. Not overcompensating fun. Just straight down the middle. Fun. Come on, let's go. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lover's quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder-y-a. So then it's private plane time. Ladies are boarding a private plane. I know I feel like they cut out some sort of drama here. They're sure that like if there's a private plane and have their debrose involved like we definitely miss something right? Like you know, she like assign Noella a seat, like on the wing.

She's like, oh, you'll be sitting on the wing. So they basically just gather on this plane, and as it takes off, Noella goes, woohoo! And you just know Vicki Gumbel sent Kicter heel into a TV somewhere. She's just hunched a puppy somewhere. This is hunched a puppy somewhere. So then they land and then they're all piling into the sprinter van. And I feel like something that was a little unnoticed, but it was on the side. As they're getting into the sprinter van, they don't even bother captioning it or highlighting it.

You just see them as they're getting in Shannon's off camera. And this is all you hear in the background. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Oh, you don't know what she said. It's just like a general squawking. And it's like the best. And Noel is doing that thing where you're around a group

and you know everybody hates you. And so you're like, but I'm so positive, you know? So Noel just keeps complimenting everything. She's like wow Look at the colors. I love the colors. Wow, it's a deer. I love the deer Wait David's here. Oh when you said deer. I thought it was David. Sorry Yes, dear. Eating the potato chips. Yes, dear.

I was thinking I'm serving quinoa tonight, David. What do you think about that? I will take your Stoney Silence as a yes. So one of the delights of this episode also is that Heather has not planned this trip and she can't deal. Like she cannot deal with about being not the president of the trip. And it's so wonderful.

It's so funny. It's so good. See, really, whips. You know that Heather's in a corner when, like, don't put baby in a corner kind of thing because she starts gesturing everything she says. She turns into a panamine, you know? She's like, wow, look at this.

Maybe we should go on a tour. This is good. And she has a copy of Trouble, the board game, the old board game. And she's like, she's like, you just can see the thought process. Like, last time we had a fight about board games. So I thought it would be hilarious if I get the game Trouble, because there's going to be Trouble.

I thought about getting the game sorry, but I'm going to wait for Shannon to get that one. So, Emily is, you know, poor Emily, like you have to get Emily credit for trying, but girl, Emily's gonna bring a twister, because she's twisted. Start positive and then rip it, okay? I give her credit. I give her credit for hearing messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy.

Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy.

Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here and messy. Start up here doing great. Yeah. Look at that. Can't wait to see you on million dollar listing. I see 10 seasons in your future, Emily. All right.

But she's like, there's windows. And you can see the foliage. Is it foliage? It's like, oh, neck, you're ripping off Ramona? Yeah, she is. So they get out of this sprinter van. And they look around. There's this huge, beautiful mansion,

and so already Heather's extremely triggered, right? She's like, I thought I had the monopoly on big houses, but she sort of looks around like a threatened animal, and then she just goes, sort of like gained back power, she goes, it's this way, follow me, I always know where I'm going. I expect it to pull out like one of those poles with a flag on it, like when you're on a tour,

okay, come this way everyone. The CC on it. Yeah, she's very Heather when she, because you know, the house that she rented everybody really does look like a public bathroom at the beach compared to this house. I mean this is a nice house. It is a nice house. So then they go downstairs and you know it's still O.C. so it's like the really low rent of Beverly Hills, because Beverly Hills remember that like, now there was a mall house. Now that, yeah. That was so good that house. And so this one's trying to be that but it's

though see it's OC budget so they go downstairs and there's a little bowling there's a little bowling lane and Jean is like I'm going and is someone who grew up in a family bowling alley we know Jean there were also fenders in the gutters We know, Jean. Yeah. There were also fenders in the gutters. But before it, before it. It smelled the turtle wax and the air dryer on you. The second you walked on this day. But I also loved when they walked in the house initially.

There were the two representatives of the house, Trisha and Michael. First of all, Michael was soap or he was like a mix of like Vicki's son, Michael, and Michael. First of all, Michael was so poor. He was like a mix of like Vicki's son, Michael, and Brooks. He was like straight Brooks. He was like, hi, welcome to the mansion. I'll hug you. I saw you in Haughton Cleveland.

Oh, that Brooks. And I thought you meant like roses or rays, while it's her blue. You ran into big house. I'm staying with you. I met like roses array, violets or blue. You ran into big house, I'm staying with you. I met that, Brett. So this guy's just sat there waiting for somebody to buy him some tea.

Like, well, I'll show you around the house. Gonna need a little shuntman return. We wouldn't mind. So they're walking around this house. And it's beautiful. And they're all like, wow like it's so rustic and so gorgeous and Heather's like I don't understand this idea of a house with Character so strange and then Gina's like oh my god There's like a pool in here. There's an actual pool. Gina stopped doing your laundry in the pool. Come on

She's just like unpacking and like I know I'm Gina's like come on though. I got it strike. I just thought buying everyone's lottery ticket Gina like they say it on the plane take care of yourself before you save the person next to you So yeah, so then they go bowling and then a time-honored tradition on Bravo choosing bedrooms on a trip. And this is a good one. This is a good one. Now, Noella, a long time housewives fan, just goes straight. She's like, which is the biggest room? So they take her to like this double primary or whatever, and she walks up there and she goes, my dad, just dying.

Not trying to pull a rank or anything. It was so shameless, I almost. You got something out of me. I know. And then meanwhile Shannon, oh god, I almost... Something out of me. I know. And then meanwhile Shannon, oh god, I love these moments with Shannon, because like, you know, when she's happy about something, she's like, wow, wow, wow. But like, this was one of those moments where she was like,

remember my old life, because she was going, wow. Wow. Wow. Now it's a... with a, oh there's a chandelier. That's a nice touch. Remember that. So Heather's so mad, right? So she's like, I mean, what do you even say to that?

My father died. Which room do I get? I mean, who says that? Like you sort of just did, but that's fine. So I guess. Okay, so there's one room. There's got to be more rooms downstairs. Show us the rooms.

Show us the rooms. So, go to the rooms. We're going to the rooms. Everyone, we're going to the rooms. So they go downstairs and there's a room that has a hot tub and that's where it no well. I was like, ladies, would anyone be bothered if I claimed this one because you know I don't go to sleep unless it's a sweat lodge. And I'm really the only one closing down the party, okay? I historically do very well in very hot environments

like a hot tub. You know I close down the party like I'm the one that every but my door's always open. Nobody comes in your dad door Are we talking about no one time anyone's knocked on your door dash won't even come there you've been barbed down only a Knows not to fall for that shit again. They're like man. The only one of the card doesn't work either all right You only want to steal and cross bones over your address. No one comes to your door unless they're serving papers. It's a fact.

It's a fact. It's a fact. Or flowers with papers. I'm just, I'm not, it's no judgment. I'm just saying on the season we saw someone appear with papers. What happened to you people over there? Look what they have to look at. I know.

This is the worst angle anybody can see me at. You've got my ass crack and my nipple. That's what you get. I'm so sorry. I love you guys. Yeah. Geez. Poor things.

This ass crack ain't hit me. Poor my God. Well, so, my god. So Heather, he looks great, Ron and looks great. So, Noah just said this thing, so Heather's going to do something pass aggressive. I recognize it because it's what I would do. She pretends like she hasn't heard this and then she goes to Shannon and says, Heather's going to do something pass-aggressive. I recognize it because it's what I would do. She pretends like she hasn't heard this, and then she goes to Shannon and says, so this calls for a hands touching like a bridge, a little bridge.

So how are we going to pick rooms? We're going to fight. Have you seen this show before? That's what we do. So she's doing, she's sort of acting like she's going to be the more, you know, thoughtful bedroom picker. When she already knows that Nuala's picked that one, because Heather had actually previously said that she wanted it, so she knows she's going to be able to start a fight by doing this.

Well Heather's just like, okay, well I'll do the smaller master bedroom. Is that okay with everybody? I was like, oh my God, that's so kind of you, Heather. Yes. Take just the second biggest room. Yes, you really does do that. She goes, the master up there is just way too big for me. I'll take the master bedroom, that's down here. Yeah, so take the other master, okay?

And then Heather's like, I don't get no well, I mean, there's one little dungeon room downstairs. No well, I love her dungeons. Oh. Just throw a pair of handcuffs down there and she'll be right at home. Okay, good luck on your relationship, shall I? I know.

I know. So basically, no well, I claims the room because she says that she's like the life of the party and that's why it was sort of a weird thing. And so Heather's like really trying hard to take the high road so she's like, okay, okay, I'll take the dungeon. And like this room is like it has no windows and it has a wall that's diagonal. So you know she's like, huh, a diagonal wall, how unconventional it reminds me of my time

living in the attic in Alpha Zeta in Syracuse University. I don't feel bad for Heather. I feel bad for anyone who has to go down there in the dark to get her. You don't want to go down there and say it's dinner time. It's like pure dark. You just start to feel the tears you come down there and then those buttice popping up at you. It's like that scene from WandaVision You know when you find out about the next door neighbor just upside down swinging down

So one of the fun things we're doing oh It's like oh my god, this is just like the 80s. Oh. Um, well, I mean, it is. I mean, come on, we've all been there. Am I right? I'm like, wow, can't wait to shoot up that glutathyamiasin. Sounds great.

So they're all gathering to San Francisco like what? I don't understand drugs. This is San Francisco. I don't know. I don't know. How dare you? I'm chased and pure. So they're getting IVs.

They're all sitting up in the living room. They've got IVs in. They've got stuff in their nose, et cetera. And Emily's like, can I have a sandwich please? You know, that's her thing. And so Shannon's like, is it working? Is it working? Is it a Spencer?

Your name is Spencer, right? Spencer, please, is it going into my, I need to feel something. I need to feel, please purge, you started a 40-megadav thought, please. She's like, Spencer, I don't have any veins. So they left right after the estrogen, well. I'm sorry. Apparently you can't help one without the other. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

So he finds one and she goes, Spencer, is it working? Huffing, Spencer! Spencer, can I just say, you do rock, sir? Fun, that was a fun thing to say. So then downstairs Heather's receiving her luggage from one of the people who work there. And she's like, thank you, Mark.

That's Mark, that one is Mark. He's like, my name's John, but that's it's mark that one is mark. He's like my name's John, but that's fine My name is actually Alfredo man It's actually Alfredo So then it's intercutting between Heather Rolling around her suitcase miserably in the downstairs room like hmm. I'm gonna hang things sadly Fun music while salmon, it's like, find my thing!

Find another one! Ha ha ha ha! Cut to Heather, like, hmm, I'd rather wouldn't hang her. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. So then, I just got shot up! Five of them in B.C. glued glutathymine, a little magnesium. There might have been some gluten-free cookie dough in there. Why'd they all end?

Does this IV bag, can you put cream cheese in it and just put it right in my veins? So then, Jen, Dr. Jen, everyone's favorite. She's like, this, Dr. Jen, everyone's favorite. She's like... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! This is Dr. Jen. This is Dr. Jen, even on a fun girl's day.

Oh. Hey, guys. I'm filling out this paperwork to get the IV. Like, should I put Ryan down as my emergency contact? I just don't want the car of medics to make it work. Don't correct me, Madame. His name is not, his name is Ryan, but she won't call him Ryan,

because she's so passive aggressive. Having you notice, she's like Ryan, like you, that you're so late. Let the man have his delusional nickname, you know? I can actually understand why she's reticent to make Ryan her emergency contact, because you know, if God forbid something happened to her, this would be the conversation.

Like, hi, is this Mr. Ryan, someone so? He's like, yep. So your wife, we have to take her to the hospital. OK. Do you want to know where it is? We can talk about it later. No, but she's, she's saying, OK, thank hospital. Okay. Do you want to know where it is? We can talk about later. No, but she's, she's, okay, thank you very much. But you want to know more?

That's enough, dear. I don't even know who you are. Very well, very well. We can talk later. Talk later. Bye. He would and she'd joke. She's like, no, I mean, I'm just going to have CC.

My daughter is my, my, my, my, CC hates you. Yeah. She's going to break you up. CCL up CC'll be like is there is she hooked into a machine turn eight of off her first word's word DNR I'm really I'm really really getting a lot of reactions tonight That's Ron his favorite you are you are bitchier tonight. I'm a little bitch you love it a little bitch You I love this side of you. I love when this side comes out to play. I'm not bitchy. I'm fun. I'm fun I am so fun. So, um, yeah, emergency contact. So everyone's like, come on, that's your husband.

Which is hilarious on Orange County, right? So Emily is like, I think that you should rethink her marriage. If you don't even want to put your partner down, it's your emergency contact. She is rethinking her marriage. That's the point. So they're all up there. They're all having a fun time getting these IVs and then Heather joins like this dark cloud.

She's like, hmm. You know, she's so angry. But Jen is of course kissing her ass because she's Regen. She's like, how do you look so cute, Heather? Well, you know, I can't just come here and start doing things. I have to unpack and then Terry wants a picture of me with champagne and the ID. Can't just be... Go back downstairs.

Go back to your hole. Go back down to your murder home. I learned that from house hunters, okay? Yeah. So, Sunday night I was like, this is my solution. I put some of this, I put with my champagne, I put a little bit of this antioxidant, chloroquine, and then had this like, fillidant, chloro-chloro, and then, how there's like, fill, fill, chloro-fill, which is like, just hates noelle, right?

And now it's like, form, chloro-form. How there's like, oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. How there's like, chloro-form, well, maybe we'll meet that later. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I just said that Chloranfield should be Chloranformed for Noella. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH So then no well is not amused she's like She's like a like a set recorder that's batteries are darn So it's nighttime it's like getting ready to go to fun things montage. Everyone's like, hmm, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t There's an earring hitchhiking on a highway in Colorado being like Calling back to the other one like I'm almost across the state line. I'll send money for you

So then we got a Gina, you know, whose blow-drying a wrinkle out of Emily's cowgirl dress which So then we got a Heather Heather's my favorite one because she's straightening her hair and she's got like a clamp thing and she's like... Yes! It's very T2, you know. And so then... Oh guys, in case you guys wanted to know, Dr. Jen is giving a smokey eye tonight. I literally deleted her from this section. I was, I was, I was telling Bennett earlier, you know, trying to go through these notes

and I can't cut me thing. So we were back there and I was like Jen black mark Jen black mark Black mark. Maybe she's born with it Maybe she has no emergency medical contact So Next is that girls are afraid of spiders scene So, um, next is that girls are afraid of spiders. Seen.

Spiders are scary, I'm just a girl. That's my favorite. That's one of my favorite house. I do love freezing the vagina too. Although it's been a while since we've seen the good frozen vagina. Yeah. In real life and on the television show, both. Yes. In a long time, my little friend, my man saw it and my fupa.

It could be as a little poor closing, I'm sure. Book me. So yeah, the girls finding spiders. Oh my god. So who found the spider? I don't even know. So, um, yeah, the girls finding spiders. Oh my God. So who found the spider? I don't even know. Oh, Noella has a spider in her hair.

Spider in her hair. There's a metaphor in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to figure it out. So they find it and Gina's like, oh my God, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. So they like brush the spider out. spider comes back in. So Heather, meanwhile, Heather has come upstairs and she's like, wow, walking upstairs is a hike. I'm out of breath, walking up the stairs, because I'm in a dungeon, anyone? Sympathy? No? No? Okay. Okay. And Jen's the one on the trip and we just came back from Denver. There's always this person. He just keeps going, it's the altitude.

He's the altitude. The Uber's the altitude. The Uber's the altitude. It's like crazy here. He's the altitude. He's the altitude. So, they come back to me, Jen. Where are you, she there?

Do we have a post on Jen, she may. Alton, uh. So now they, uh, now it's time to go off to dinner. So they're in the Sprinter van. We're all the great things happen on Bravo. Yeah. Sprinter van. The real Sprinter van. We're all the great things happen on Bravo. Sprinter van. The real Sprinter van of Aspen, Colorado.

We get some Shannon wackiness with not being able to walk on surfaces. Uh, yes. Shannon has so many different surfaces that she just cannot walk on. No. And today it's Cobblestone. She's like, what? What? What?

What? What? It's Cobblestone. She's like, wuh, wuh, blot blot! Huh! Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, w Okay, I got through it in the end. Okay. Stay. Stay. Break your mother's back. David's gonna fuck a blonde on the beach any second. No. No. No. No. No. So they help her get into the van and she's like,

Not gonna lie. Hard to get in this van. Ah. So they get to the restaurant. I thought this was so funny. It's so funny when the editors do this when the editors are bored, because they're like, they get to the restaurant, and they're like, right this way.

And as they walk in the table, they'd you like, 10 transitions, like, bound, up, down, down, and all these things slide through. And then just like sit down the table, like, oh, there's a table. So Jen then said. Oh, I'm so sorry. This is a very important note.

So they get off the van to come into this restaurant and Shannon goes, There's more candy so here! Again! So, um, they go in and the waiter lady is like, okay guys, we have bottomless specialty drinks and Gina goes, they go out and mat Damon yelling at you. I thought that's just called a mat Damon, but whatever. And it's that patrona.

And how they're like, oh, is it possible to get it without that? And instead, give me not gold, but silver, the drone. Do you have a Ben Affleck whispering quietly drink? Or just Matt Damon? You know what, if you'll, if you'll serve me a Ben Affleck finally realizing he was an asshole to Jennifer Lopez, I would take that. That's how I feel.

That would be wonderful. What's the side of anything but quinoa? Thank you. So then Heather, in a classic Heather move, they actually look at this menu and Heather's like, oh, should we just pull a Terry and just order the whole second half of the menu? Don't laugh a bit. Hold left of it.

Stop. Because that's the appetizers. No fucking amphibian, okay? I don't want Kalamari and Beat Salad. Get me the right side of the menu. I then, I then she's like, let's just order it all. I do just see Gina like, oh my God. Is this happening?

I mean, I was excited just to get an amp, but now we're getting the whole menu. Whoa. So they get their drinks and Shannon's like, well, wait. Where's the post to cheers? Before you take a nap, no girls here. So she does and Heather's like, look into my eyes.

I know. Look into my eyes, pass it around. Look into the dark depths of my eyes. Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers. She just rises from the ground and fires starts coming. Her eyes turn into buttons. There's like a little paper doll version of Sam and just running. So then Emily continues her copying other housewives show because she doesn't have shit. And brings up her Rina.

Let's play a game. I would say own it, but she is here, and I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings, though. Tell us something we don't know about you. And Heather's like, I have ugly feet. Oh, shocker. Dig a little. You know her feet wrap around shit, as you stand. It's like, you know that's a partner you want to be like,

look, neither one of us want to get up. Could you get the remote control? And her foot's just like, grrrr. Prehensile. Yeah. Listen, here's something you don't know about me. In 1997, I once took a meeting with Le Verne from Empty Nest.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. just things in my past. It's what made me the actress I am today.

Thank you. Here's a good secret. When Reba needed an app, we would say, you need to go down, Reba Mack, and tired. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's good, it's good. So, but the best part is... I was trying to get better with that, but I haven't told me I need a CPAP machine. The fuck does that mean? Oh, I see PAPaps all over the place.

I just know when you're in hot and cleave, and the paparazzi follows you everywhere. I see paps everywhere. So, but actually the best part is that when she says, here's something you don't know about me. I have ugly feet. Emily goes, no, I know that. That's so rude in a good way.

So they're like, tell me something we don't know, right? So Nuella goes, ooh! I like this! Not you, Nuella. I know, everyone knows. Who decided on this game? Is there anything left that Nuella has not told us? You don't want to play this game with somebody who opens your friendship with the stack of

a Jhin of story. Yeah. Okay. So, I love Shannon's story. Here's a fun fact about Shannon. What do you, after you shared so much of your life on this show, like what else do you have left? So, Shannon's like, well, I just have dumb little anecdotes, you know, well, my dad, he bought

a car at an auction when I was 16. And he was like, this is your car. And it was a Gucci Seville. She did say Gucci Seville, right? I was, I took, I thought we started that shit with that little fiat. I took some on-bridge with House of Gucci because I thought it was going to be a little bit more involving my vehicle, but Car of Gucci a house of Gucci, so they'll

This lady got got telling you off like did you guys see that movie the best part was when he's like he just dumped her right and totally Forget about her and she won't let it go and he comes on one day and he presses play on the answering machine and she's like You are garbage You are sickness that needs to be caught from the van on some like yes If you ever come for me on the house of Gucci again This will cost you a lot So she got a Gucci with a a Siddail or whatever. And so Jean is like, oh, I don't even know my Nancy Ponce

and me some kind of thing. She's terrible. And Sam is like, because it was a machoist. That's why I, Jean. Okay. She does not fall in. Because it was too fancy and the Heather goes, because it was, we held on one second.

Hey kids, what's that word? Oh, because it was extra. I'm not, I'm not. Extra. Yeah, Heather's like, because it was fancy, Gina, it was very, very fancy. And Gina's like, what did you own the plummet, drive it? Because I've never heard of it.

I'm Gina, for the's like, what did you the plummet drive it? Because I've never heard of it. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw.

I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw. I'm Gina for the people. I got a straw.

I got a straw. I got a straw. I got a straw. I got a straw. I got a straw. I got a straw. I got a straw. I got a straw. Pories for Pories I mean you really missed an honor thing in Eda Feels like a lit like it's I might be infringing on real for real so Gina to bring on some competition. Yeah, that's how they do it. It's a tincture. So Gina Yeah, that's how they do it. It's a tincture.

So Gina, so Gina tell, this is the story that you didn't know about Gina. And I'm actually embarrassed for her with this story. She's like, so my god, like in high school, I was going to date and like, well, it wasn't really a date. It was like a hangout. And so like this guy came to pick me up. And like, this is like so embarrassing.

But like, so I go right over. And I was like, gonna go into his car embarrassing but like so I go right over and I was like gonna go into his car and like I go to go in the back seat because you know in two seat is like you can pop it forward and Heather goes you pop it I was like, oh my God, it's a flawed door. I just like had this image of Gina just like wrestling with the seat. It's like it's not gonna pop. And like other people just opening a door, just getting in. She crawled over that shit, wasn't that the story? Like she popped it and crawled into the backseat to let someone in the car.

On a date, it's hilarious. So, let's see, so Heather's like, Okay, now it stems turn. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Do it! This is gonna be great, Jen! Everybody, Jen! Look into my eyes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's a lot of breakfast buffets. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER So it's Jens thing. Just hanging out at the waffle station.

Hmm. So I tried it, it doesn't work, don't I? I'm trying to fund countless people at waffle stations. They just say, follow what you love. It hasn't worked for me. Yeah. So, Jen's like, I was engaged seven times and they're all cracking up and screaming and Nohela is still just trying to fit in, you know, she's like, That is so funny. Well, did you get seven rings?

And she's like, well, I mean, I don't have them currently. And Emily's like, how many do you have currently? How many do I have? She's like, well, I mean, I gave a few back. Like, I gave some of them back and I like have a few. No, well, it's just like, no judgment on that one. I'm just glad no one asked me how many times I'll have them again. And Gina's like, oh my god, engage seven times.

She must give amazing blow drops. I don't feel like that's true. I don't feel that that's accurate. Trust me. I contest this. As someone who gives amazing blow jumps. I'm out from first hand. I know from first hand experience that does not lead to marriage.

Whatever Heather's doing, do that. Do that. Just smack the penis with a fucking wooden hanger. Do that. Whatever she's, whatever cold shit she is doing to that dick do it So good low jobs leave you holding hungry So Heather so then Heather's like okay, this is fun. What's the next question Emily? So Emily's like oh, I'm gonna talk about first impressions. What was your first impression of Sean and Heather goes? Oh, oh, I thought

she was so cool. I mean, I thought she had great style. I loved her home. She looked rich and stable. I'm like, I'm going to be friends with her. She said, finally, someone I can be friends with. And then we see 2014. When Heather is brought to Shannon's house to see what the neighborhood was like, whatever thin-ass excuse they had to bring her over, and the first walkthrough where Heather was the one walking through Shannon's house, and Shannon had a Bluetooth chandelier and like, high-doller-generic air conditioners or whatever, and so Shannon thought she was like winning against, oh my God, the history on this show really is. It's very rich. It's very rich.

Because Shannon, you know, everybody looks different after eight years, right? Coming. Especially housewives, because technology changes. So, I mean, soon people's faces are just gonna be opening up and turning in a little cars you can drive like the technology changes But especially Shannon and not because of like face or weight or anything like that Just her whole demeanor has changed because in her first season she's like Hello, and welcome my home She she had that Heather energy and now I love her so much that really goes to show you Yeah, I changed for the better

And I think I think the producers have done like a really good job of like realizing that there's this great Frontamyship between Shannon and Heather that really like is the backbone of the season and hopefully future seasons I think it's like a great great dynamic of them like one-up in each other so I'm like really into it Well the producers have also done a really good job of just ruining Shannon's fucking life. Yes. Because that's, you know, you go through shit and you become better usually, and they've really

put her through it. I mean, she's just like on a meat grinder, but she's making delicious sausage. Yeah. She's still hanging in. So then, so, so then Emily's like, well, how do you feel about Shannon now? And she goes, eh, just kidding, just kidding.

That was funny. How about them apples, Matt, Fem and Yessing up? I guess that's why this is an apple drink. And that's funny. So just kidding. You know how I feel about friends in a group. You know, we're all mothers, and that means something to me.

And most of us to do well. Heather pantomiming. Yeah. And Shannon goes, exactly. And there is room for everyone. And Heather's's like yes, but I don't like mean people I can't know about that. And I don't like liars and I don't like shit stars Oh, I I'm not I'll take the bait everyone. I'll take I'll do it I'm not gonna lie like sometimes this one Emily over here is a shitster. I mean, when, let's get into the most

impressing debate on this show. When I called you guys when you're in New York and my dinner party, my dinner party was getting kind of stale. I mean, Dr. Jen was there, let's be honest. I'm new, that's where having so much fun. So I was saying, let's have more fun in a silly We silly like halfway really there was zero Competition No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Lisa Rina being dragged by her wig around a parking lot. Slap just like, oh yeah!

Slow motion. So Shannon goes, what? She goes, but you know what, Emily, you know what? And then Gina chimes in, because now Gina's all full of herself because she has a rich friend. She's like, you know what? I thought it was ridiculous that you were like,

let's out fun them. I was going to say hi! I was going to say hi! That's why I was going to say hi! You weren't calling to say hi! You were calling to say we're having more fun than you! My intent was to call you and say hi! I didn't seem like that Shannon! Well, see, she and I are things with us and not your life! was to call you and say hi. It didn't seem like that Shannon. Well, see, she nut there are things with us,

and not your life. Don't go into your life. But there are things with us that we need to work through. OK, because I just wanted to call, say hi. I said hi. I think I was kind. I was kind. And so now Heather jumps in, and she's like, well, here's the thing.

I don't really care about this part because we were obviously having more fun than you. I mean, I had Maranara sauce on my burner pocket book. But the thing is, the thing is, what I care is that I thought you were calling me about the very important talk I gave to 30 people in the student center at Syracuse University That you wanted to know how my life podcast went and she kind of discussed I don't know your itinerary I was overwhelmed like what we are all overwhelmed

Do you know how many Google calendars I have for these children in their nannies? And Shann's like, I didn't know you had a podcast. I was going to say hi. Hi. How are you doing? That's what I'm doing. I'm in a house.

I'm just saying hi. Hi. Hello. Is it me or looking for? Because I wonder where you are. And I wonder what you do. A podcast evidently? Are you somewhere feeling lonely?

Or is someone watching you do a live podcast? Oh, I'm really saying. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. No, I mean if you have to ask no, you're not the one I'm looking for. Hello, to me. Get the fuck out of here, no.

Did you happen to make a clay bust of my head or? The one I'm looking for is not into me, so please move aside. Please move aside, obtainable person. So, Noelle is like, you are taking too many bullets on this one girl. And how does like, and Emily's like, oh, just stop it, Noelle. And Noelle is like,

Gina and Heather and Emily, they like, they think Shannon's an easy target. They're like, bullies on the school ground, you take your lunch money. I mean, Shannon's an easy target. Let's be honest. Shannon isn't easy. Like the easiest target of all time, right? So how did Shannon, one time, she came to a crappin' show?

She did. She was so lovely and kind. She's so nice. I mean, I ripped her ass the rest of the year too, classy like that. But I met her, she was so kind and nice. I was waiting to go through her purse. I was like, Ben B. Juwan stays.

I'm giving her, I would take her a lunch, money, and I love her. Ha ha ha. So, then, so how there's like, you know what, no, well, uh, there's history here, okay? There's history between men and Shannon, and no, I was like, put again this whole thing with history. I mean, you guys have known each other for like a decade, whatever. You don't know us.

Heather starts doing this like flicking thing, like there's buttons coming out, and she's like, you don't know us! Heather starts doing this like flicking thing like there's buttons coming at her. She's like, you don't know us! She's like, well, why would Shannon be Jones? My point was... But, but why would she be- Oh my god, can I finish a sentence? Oh, okay, so you can only communicate if someone gives you complete silence. I got that. Well actually, you know what that is how you talk. Kind of. We don't. Yeah, no, we don't. But like, but still we aspire. I love, I love her acting like that's the craziest thing that you're quiet while someone else is talking.

Yeah, it is. This is housewise. We don't have time for this shit, okay? So, no, blah, blah, blah. She's like, no, well, there is an art to a conversation, okay? One speaks, the other listens, you don't listen. And no, well, it goes, I've joined in a big club. I've worked on presidential campaigns. I don't know how I made it through life, not taking the heart of the blue gloves. So how they're just like, okay, I'm just gonna look at Shannon. I'm just gonna stare at Shannon's soul. Shannon, okay, can we just have a moment

which we've had before, but look, I get this call for you, from you, and I get excited because I thought you were calling me and she's like, to say hi! I was like, no! She literally does that. No, I thought you were saying congratulations, anything! Yes, but, wow, you know, there was a party, which by the way, I woke up in the morning

to get this party ready. And I get it, I get it, she's the way I woke up in the morning to get this party ready. And I get it. I get it. She's like, I get it, Shannon. Yeah, but everybody in the household had to help me get this party. Shannon, I get it. Yeah, and so I called to say, hi, how are you doing?

I thought that was a kind of new, but I was being kind. And so it hurts me to hear that I wasn't kind enough. Thank you. Finally, pass of aggressive Shannon coming. Yes. I mean, this fight is hilarious. That is your super power. You can't just give that up to Heather Like that's when you use it them up. Well, you know that David left. Don't you? Yeah, I need that every five minutes. So then Shannon gives us, Shannon gives us a nice little gift She goes, you know Heather likes to single me out, and you know, the ho-down is a perfect example,

because I walked in late with Vicki Gunkelson by my side, and she was all over me, and that's like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, 2014? And Heather, I'm in Shannon sitting there at the table, like in ho-down clothes, and Heather comes over and she goes,

oh, oh, by the way, I'm so sorry, because David coaches basketball and afterwards, he walks on the beach with a slap. LAUGHTER And Heather's like, you know, I just wish you would cold me because we waited for you to begin the eating at this hotel. It's a buffet style fucking barbecue, okay? That you've got new flutery in onion rings for.

Yes. At the groundbreaking for your new mansion. Fuck off. You're lucky she came. So, Shadans like... She makes me so crazy. And how come Shadans isn't saying, well, I was calling, that's perfect.

So then, so Heather's basically like, look, I understand your point of view. I just want you to understand my point of view. So Shana goes, I do, and I apologize. And Heather goes, no, no, no, don't apologize. I'm like, Heather, after all that. And she says, well, it's nice to apologize. And Shana's like, I am sorry. I am sorry. Ah, ah, ah, I am sorry. You don't understand what it's like. Being a single mom, 100% of the time,

I mean, I'm an American company. I don't even know what the company name me. I have zero assistance, no name for my adult children. I know, no name for my child's in college and my other two who are 17 and 17 I So I get no more than five hours of sleep and I'm doing the best I can It's not I feel like I'm not doing it often. You know, why am I doing enough is this down? Are we gonna keep going down? Should I mention how I'm not doing it often, you know how long? Am I doing enough? Is this done? Are we gonna keep it? Are we done?

Should I mention how I'm supporting chef noodles? So... So basically how there just does an eye roll, which for her is like a full body event. She's like, UGH! I think I've told you how many times I think you were doing a great job. It's just I think friendship is, you know what Shannon, you win. You win.

I didn't mean to win. I'm actually very uncomfortable winning. I prefer to be the loser in a situation. And I had to say, uh, head shrug to the sky, flick off, shrug to the sky, flick off. So then once that's sort of, to the sky, flick off. So then once I've sort of realized there's really no more life left in this for now.

Shannon then turns Emily in. She goes, and Emily, I'm not going to lie. I feel like sometimes you put your own little thing in there. And if you thought I was doing something if I was being competitive, why can't you say, Shannon? Why are you being so competitive with this very, very fun dinner party right now? Not only that, Emily, but why did you say,

yeah, let's have more fun and then rip off your clothes first to jump in the pool. Why isn't anybody pointing that at? No! Let me do it! Lane, Emily, do your job right, lady. So Shannon's like, you go to them and you make it a derogatory issue and I have nobody to feed my children.

And she's like, but you were saying something to rogatory about my friend when I said that my friend said that you were jealous and you said that she needs to put a pin in her? How dare you! Adjina's like, you know what? She shouldn't be barking about it and then all it goes, oh, barking! Did you say barking? Even I know not to say that shit. What is wrong with you? Even I know not to say that shit. What is wrong with you? Not cool. Jaina.

So she's like, stop barking yet. Did you say I'm barking about it? I'm just trying to support my friend, sorry. And Dean, I was like, oh, Yandon, why aren't you supporting me? It gets very gent-shon here. Like, a lot of the rest of the episodes are like, what about me? What about me?

What about you? What about you? What about me? I have to say, you can't compare Gen-Shaw and Gina. Gen-Shaw has sold way more than Gina. What ever Gen-Shaw stole, she worked hard to steal. I have no doubt about that. Yeah, I mean, Gen Shaw got arrested by like three bureaus.

I feel like if Gina's going to get like in that situation, it's going to be just like a meter made being like, come on. And she definitely cannot be accused of being lazy that one. So let's see. So basically, there, you know, Jeanne does like, why aren't you standing up for me? And Noelle was like, oh my god, because you put your hands on my face and told me to stop what I'm doing. And she's like, but

you're not actually me in the moment. So now it gets to Jeanne being offended. Yeah, now Jeanne is like, why aren't you being my friend right now? And Noelle is like, well, I just I find there's like a lot in Shannon that I really do. And she has this like big juicy yummy heart. And it just cuts the Heather just scowling like the entire concept of a big juicy yummy heart. She's like, ugh. And Gina goes, and what?

I don't. No, bitch. When was the last time Gina was ever sympathetic towards anyone on this wait, was she? No, right I didn't think so no you don't Gina there. I'll stick with that So they just go through this hole you're hurtful and it's kind of getting lame because it's not Heather and Shannon right you can't really stop that. Yeah.

So Gina's like, oh yeah, I guess I'm just so hurtful. And Heather goes, no, well, wait, you don't say things that are hurtful. Which you know, now it's okay to like jump in and fight for your friends. Sorry. The rules have just changed. So Noah was like, what was it that's so hurtful? I mean, stack of a John doesn't hurt anyone. It had to go. Set the bottom. That can hurt. You know. I say that's so hurtful. I mean, stack of a giant that doesn't hurt anyone. And Heather goes,

set the bottom. That can hurt, you know, back issues, but. So Heather goes, I don't know that I slam people against walls. And now the wall slamming controversy rears, it's hilarious head. I saw you physically slamming controversy, Rears, it's hilarious head. I saw you physically shove a camera man right in front of me and go off.

I saw that. So Jean is like, oh, guys, by the way, I've announced this a couple times in other shows, but we can't yell like, shut the fuck up anymore because it makes people feel awkward at home. Tell each other. Tell each other. Tell each other. Shut the fuck up. Self-regulate.

We don't want to make an awkward for people listening at home. Big believer in self-policing. So policing. Citizens arrest that, she is. Yes. So Gina's like, so wait a second. Did you see her touch a person like what did you see her and? No, I was like the night of Heather's party. I saw her push a camera light it on fire

Still of that of acid on it and of that acid on it, and kick it off the edge of her house, and the cameraman balanced off the three separate clips before landing in the mouth of a shark. Swear to God. It is very. Tom has got brown came into. And then we get that flashback. My favorite flashback of the season of Heather

coming down the stairs being like, ah, shows over. We are literally camera down. Camera down. We're literally camera down. I learned that from Mr. Belvedere. That's industry lingo. Camera down.

And it was worse, like it's worse in that Heather's like, Terry, we are quitting this show right now. Everyone out of our house put the camera down. And then she pushes the camera. You see her take her hand, put it on the camera, and move it. She even did an interview where she said, oh, I barely touched it. You see me reach for the camera,

and then you see the camera barely move. Well, guess what you have to do in order to move that camera man. You have to push it. Push it real good. Push it real good. What is the camera attached to? A person's fucking head. Okay. Now did she slammer against the wall? No, it just slammed the camera. No well as foolish shit. She's exaggerating it. No. But Heather, you did start screaming at everybody and the crew and you did push a fucking camera on. So no, it's not TV!

So no, well as like, so no, well as course being so dramatic. If Justin Bieber did that outside of a club, the police would be called. I'm like, yeah, sure. So then Heather's like, everybody's saying, I can't imagine Heather doing that Heather. You just saw her standing screaming at everybody. Anybody who says they can't imagine Heather coming up and pushing a worker has never been a cater waiter. Because I have known.

I've known hundreds of this lady. So Heather's like, you're such a fucking liar, Camille. And, and, and she's like, this is fabricated bullshit. When I say I like doing scripted work, I don't mean this kind of scripted work. This is fabricated, that she's perpetuating, and that is dangerous, okay? Were we heated 100%?

Do we slam people against the wall? Only the waiters. Only the waiters. Only the waiters. Solombs and investigation, go for it. But we also have to remember that they don't know that we're gonna get to see any of that footage, right? So, Nauela, I think, is talking two different things.

She's talking about the part that we all saw on camera, where she's like, you get a camera out! And then she's talking about something else that happened once the cameras were down. I learned this from my friend, Cecil Medea. Most... Most glamorous of all the housewives. So the second thing is apparently an incident that happened while the cameras were down that these ladies were all

talking about, okay? Just so we all know, there's nothing really hilarious there. Just sit with it for a moment. So, Gina's like, did you actually see how put a hand on another person? Well, it was a handheld's camera. So then, uh, no, I was like, so then no, I was like, just because I didn't see it with my own lives.

And I didn't mean it didn't happen. And everyone's like, oh my god. I mean, I didn't see the big bang either, but here we are. So you're not a liar, but you just said you saw it and now you said you didn't see it and just because you didn't see it with your own eyes that means you're not a liar I'm confused. I'm confused. So Noella then clarifies was that basically like someone came up to her and was like oh this

just happened. And we know that we know that this producer Because she's like we think it's a producer and you know this producer was like girl Heather just went off and Slammed a bitch up against the wall It's like me being the producer It's like me being the producer. Salam. I then know well as says the funniest thing.

She goes, I mean, but what did I do the next day? I sent you a text message and said, I'm happy to shut down the rumor that I'm about to start. She's acting like I'm happy to shut it down. Like you're the one who's starting it. And now there's like, oh, you're such a good friend. And Noel is like, well, when a friend looks after somebody, you don't use that as ammo to come after somebody.

And you're like, wait, what is she talking about? Because she's saying that she's doing for a favor by not bringing this shit up. And now Heather is bringing it up and making Noel look like that guy. And Noel is saying, I'm saving your ass by not bringing it up on camera, but I'm not going to say it didn't happen. Now that you're bringing it up and making Noel look like that guy. I know, well, it's saying, I'm saving your ass by not bringing it up on camera, but I'm not gonna say it didn't happen

now that you're bringing it up on camera. Be watch! But at this point, I had this confused. So she's like, what are you talking about? I know I was like, well, you came, you came for me in your podcast room and I was like, what, you came for me? And then we see a flashback. And Noel was like, well well the story of our friendship

was in your house with you slamming people against the walls and wielding an axe and chopping up gas. I mean when was the last time we saw Nicole? When Nicole started having nightmares about you and you started murdering her friends, but she would wake up and her friends were really dead. I mean, when I heard that you came through Nicole's TV and took her away to another dimension in her closet, I was gonna shut that down. Setting up so many different traps and rooms where people have to figure out So no, it's like sawed 19, word-al-edition.

So, basically, Noel is trying to act like she's the victim of Heather in this situation. She's like, oh, you came into your house and you made me uncomfortable. So Heather's like, well, you are speaking cryptically. Does anyone know what that word is around the table? Okay, let me start over. She's like, I was just trying to figure out what you're talking about, you know? And Noah's like, well, you knew exactly what you were talking about. I was like, I didn't, I didn't know anything. So now they're trying to go around and search.

So Noah's like, well, there's other people at this table who know about it. It's like, hey, mom, name them, name them right now. Who are they? Give me my number. And so she goes to Emily. She's like, Emily, Emily, did you see anything? And Emily's like, what? Huh?

Huh? No. I had just received a call that Shane had fail pass the bar exam. I was busy. For example, I was busy. I can't really see anything right now, actually. I don't think I saw anything. I know Alice, I come on Emily and she's like,

what, see what? And then while I was like, okay, well, I don't appreciate you growing me a liar. That is your karma and you're gonna see what your karma does. And then Heather, I have to give props to Heather for this burn, because she goes, my life is good, your karma is already giving you what it needs.

I mean, fuck you, my dad just died. You don't think I won't play that on your ass either. My karma, you mean my father dying. Rude. So, um, uh, Noel is like, uh, We need to have a crappy for biggest fucking mouth of the year because that rivals Lisa I love that. You know what? I cannot believe you're assing these things about me. So basically, Heather's like, I'm out. I'm done. So she gets up, she goes to leave.

And then Channon, though, is using this as a way to get at Emily. They're all leveraging every moment to get at each other, right? So now Channon's like, hey, I'm gonna choke on my own Shannon impersonation hack. She goes, she's like, well Emily, why did, oh, what, hey, no, well, why did you say that Emily should chime in? It's almost as if Emily knew something. Emily, have you lost your spoon, dear? And no, well, it's like, yeah, you heard it too, Emily.

We were comparing notes about it, and Emily's like, no! No! No! No! No! Just like a little lying toddler. No! No!

So the liar! And of course you guys have the internet I'm assuming and no Kelly Don Kelly Don on on bass with Rick and Kelly Kelly is like oh really Emily stop lying because I can prove you're a liar and you know about that I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! you know, got to being about it. But it still didn't say I saw Heather slam somebody up against the wall, cut their throat, you know, just remember that.

And then pick their own nose with the discarded toe or whatever the fuck the thing was. But you gotta get a little dot in there when you can, you know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because nothing happened, you know what I am done. I am done. With the highest order, which by the way, we did order the whole menu, did we, right? Okay, highest order, something needs to happen right now.

Like I said about my acting career before I joined the show, something needs to happen right now. Either she leaves the house or I am going to a... Boop hotel! And I am flying home! If I call Terry right now, he will have a jet here in the morning. And this is how you can tell that it's real houses of Orange County, because in New York,

Ramona is like, whoa, I don't like the woods get me a plane. And it's like, boom, a plane. I don't like it, okay? Now, I don't know that Terry would be that quick with the plane, but I know that a gay friend would be. Because I was Ramona's singer. She's like, this thing, putting out an alert to all the gay people on like, no, but the hampties. Get me out of the bookshores

They're like, girl up here, girls We live to give last minute rides That's something that gays, we love iced coffee and last minute rides You need a ride? You know not to throw up in my car, throw up in your purse in my car That's acceptable It's why I bought you a plastic purse for your birthday. That sounds like a lie, doesn't it?

So they are, so Noel just keeps on saying, like, who is she? I think I made this up out of thin air. She keeps like denying that she lied. Everyone's like, you did lied, no, well, or though. And Emily's convincing Heather to stay because Heather's like, she wants to do the nuclear option, right?

So basically they start to kind of like pile back into the sprinter van. Because again, the best place to be is at a high altitude in a sprinter van on Bravo. If the Salt Lake City season didn't prove that already. So we think this is gonna be like a silent van ride Right because they get in and everyone's like and

Then Santa Santa hangs back with Noella and she goes, I mean no Now you told me that you heard things and you know people said things But you also said that you did but see her push a camera And she's like yeah, I've always said that. Okay, well you just said that you I don't have that camera could you not? Yeah, she just looks right at the camera like yeah, this is this doesn't need to be filmed okay? So then Heather of course is now using this as an issue for something. She's like, oh, this is an interesting split of girls. Interesting.

Shannon being there with Noella. You poor people being here with me. Yeah, I guess we know which way Shannon goes. She's literally just asking Noella a few questions. It's not that big of a scene that she is going wherever that free ride is, too. So basically, blah blah, it starts up in the van, too. So Shannon Noella comes to the van and Shannon's like, well, cobblestone, air, is it too much?

There's a cobblestone is too much. I'm done with it now. But she's get the fucking thing And now, while I get in, as if she didn't just start all this shit and goes, sorry for making it awkward ladies Uh And Dr. Jenna's like say sorry to Heather and Heather's, say sorry to me. Say sorry for what? For lying. Why can't you just say you're sorry?

Nothing happened. You didn't see anything. You were too interested away from me. I saw you shove a member of the crew after I was told it when I was in the other room, okay? Are you out of your mind? Heather's face gets so crazy. I think I can't do it because my my Botox, but it's like...

It's crazy, it's some crazy shit. This is, this is like when Heather gets the file into the courtroom scene that she always auditioned for. She's like, I have a family here, honor. I have children. What is wrong with you? Who says things like that? You're like someone in a successful marriage in Orange County.

You're in the minority here. No one agrees with you. No one. So, um, she's just yelling apologize and in the back seat we've got Shannon, Gina and Emily going on their own track. Separate arguments. Separate arguments. Shannon goes, well, someone did tell her that. Okay. And she's like, Gina's like, well, maybe they just told it and she kept repeating it and Emily goes Well, you shouldn't repeat things that you hear I I don't I don't want to go there, but people have told you things about my boyfriend John Janssen And you repeated it and it was fake and it was wrong and it hurt his reputation and he was damaged

by it. And of course this is the rumor that John got so wasted at some sort of golf club that he passed out and that his dad had to come pick him up. Which I love that rumor. I'm like you should, like yes, you should be like happy for that rumor. That one is an extra shitty rumor because it came out at the reunion that John doesn't play golf and hasn't spoken to his father in 20 years. Not well fact checked.

Which I feel like that is when my mother would show up to pick me up, right? If I haven't talked to her in 20 years, she'd show up to pick my ass drunk, you know, take pictures. So then in Emily's excuses, all I did was repeat something that Bronwyn said to prove what a fucking piece of shit Bronwyn was. Well, have you ever said you're sorry to John?

And Emily goes, if you want to go there, let's go there. You want to do it? Let's do it it which I don't know what that really means by the way and now we have backseat fight and way backseat fight you know what I don't I don't appreciate this whatsoever okay this is not something to laugh at it's unbelievable okay she's in one she's a good friend to me yeah you know Unbelievable! Okay, she and I are doing good friends. Yeah, you know what, I just said things. I didn't hurt.

I apologize. You know, I don't have a nanny. I do not have a nanny. Okay, it's difficult being me. I've been hurt. I've been shit on. David's real good. I don't appreciate it whatsoever.

And I had to spend a birthday with sugar in my state. I do not appreciate that tone whatsoever. Hold on, I'm getting a call, David. Guys, I just feel so bad that this is the first nine we're already fighting. It was a stir. Emily, it's like, shut up, Noah. You're so innocent and rude. You do all this bullshit. You cause all kinds of problems.

I've just shut up. Did you just say shut up to me? And Heather goes, yes, shut up, Noah. There. I said it. Shut up. Ah. Shut up yes, shut up, no, well, I'm dead. I said it, shut! Ah! Shut up, just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Little black honopies throw back for everyone. Woo! So, believe it or not, there's so more. Well, black honopies, I mean, Heather, the button eyes. So now they're back at the button eyes. So now they're back at the button eyes. So now they're back at the button eyes. So now they're back at the button eyes. So now they're back at the button eyes. So now they're back at the button eyes. So now they're back at the butt and I pee. Heather Dubrow. You're so 3000 and late.

My hombs, my lovely lady, hombs. Oh gosh. So then Gina and Emily stay in the van while everyone goes inside to have some wacky times. And Gina's like, I just wanted to be able to normal nine after I got a strike. Can you move? Can you move? I can't get out of cars look. Be careful. It's only a two door. Be careful. Be careful. Be careful. Oh, that was real something for the people on the side. There's a reason they don't call me a yogi bear girl. Well, I hope that recording worked because you know I kicked this shit out of this electricity a long time ago. Oh, it's oh, it's yeah It's gone. So they go inside and Heather and gang walks into the living room and Shannon don't know well

They're there and Heather's like oh look the friends are here You know what Heather I would like to say something if it's okay. Is it okay with may I say something? Okay? I'm gonna say it Listen, we also have to be the best friends with each other, but we are in a friend group and there are those of us who care about certain people here, regardless of their financial status. And let's figure out a way to at least be cordial and support their very successful real for real friends. So I was like, can I drop to you Shannon?

How can I? Shannon aside. And she's like, you know what I don't? Nuh! How can I? Shannon aside. And she's like, you know what I don't like? That no one's standing up for me. You are gonna tell Shannon that she was just stand up for you, lady, who tried to literally take this break back. The whole table is standing up for Heather.

She's like, it's not okay. I have four fucking kids who all have books to write, okay? So Shannon's like, I think four fucking kids who all have books to write, okay? So Shannon's like I think that there are some expectations from Heather and that she should I should be defending her and you know Heather's a capable woman and if she's upset about something she can defend her self I have family I have children I Have basement walls that are covered in flowing water. I then Heather does the scariest thing I've ever seen her do. She's like yelling at Shannon but fixing her hair at the same time.

She's like, you know what, I just need you to stand up for me. Stand up for me. Notice how quickly I can get my hands near your neck. Yes. I would've been like, ha, she was just pulling out Shannon's hair. So then we finished the night with Heather Shannon and Jen talking out. Well, Jen's not talking. She's sitting there like a fucking lump. OK.

So Heather's like, so to be honest with you, Shan. Shan. Shan, Shan, Shan. I can call you Shan. Remember how I call you, Shan? Remember when we started that, we first met. Hey, Shann. Yeah.

When someone like Heather calls you, like, Hey, Ron. Ron. Ron, bitch. I received some notes from the producers. He said, now would be a good time to throw in a nickname. So, Shann, she goes, I don't even know, I don't even know what we're talking about an hour ago.

I mean, maybe there's something about how you just don't support me in my podcast. Maybe there's something like that. I don't know. But let's forget that. Okay. We'll forget that later. People need to stick up for me. I mean, Shannon, what if she said, Shannon Bedore is the racist pig and she steals money. Shannon goes, oh, oh, put some more labels on me. Thanks.

Well, that was a nice thing to do with single mother without a nanny. Oh, wow, just put some more labels. Put them on. Put them on, Heather. It was a theoretical. If someone said that, I would say, you can't say that. Call the birdcatchers. What do, call the bird catchers.

What do you call the people that take into the crazy part? I will never forget when she pulled that shit on Shannon. Oh, yeah. Is someone having a psychological breakdown? Should we call an ambulance, Tamara? Fuck her, man. So then they use this as another excuse to give another classic flashback, because Shannon's like,

well, it seems like Heather and I both get very angry sometimes, we get upset, we defend ourselves, and we have a flashback of Heather sitting down Shannon after the chair incident eight years ago. And Heather's like, when you came out of the bathroom, you stuck your finger in the air, and literally yelled at me the whole time and swung a whip and smack the top of my head off.

I'm afraid I didn't actually do that, Heather. I did not do that. And inside Emily and Gina are sitting at the Gina. Emily and Gina are sitting at the bar. I wish it was Emily and Gina. Emily is like, wow, they're really fighting. Gina's just like, I told that bitch right to a face. You listen here, you insignificant ass here. I'm gonna tell you the same thing. I told can't I get the fuck away from me. All right.

So, but no, it's just Gina. So Gina's like, well, they're really fine. And Emily goes, you know what? I think I instigated that. Maybe. And Gina goes, emotionally, emotionally. So now the women are all sort of like, most of the women, almost all the women are gathered. They're sitting on sofas, just like, you know,

doing their thing. And then, and you know, by doing their thing, I mean, Shannon, it's like, oh, it's a bit warm in here. So then, so then, Noelle walks in and goes, are you okay? Because Heather's kind of consoling Gina. And she goes,, you okay? And then it turns out that Noella is asking about Gina.

So Heather's like, oh my God, of course, of course it wasn't about me. Okay, I'm going to ragefully stand up and go harass a worker in this house. Heather's just gonna go anywhere to people who will kiss her ass. Noella, say what you want about Noella, she does not give a fuck. And she is not gonna kiss Heather's ass.

Yeah. And I love it. So Heather walks right to the bar just stairs at Shannon like, do something about this poorer person than me. And Shannon's like, you need to make this better. So here's what you need to do. Say, I didn't see it. I pull up a story based on hearsay. Come on, stomp your heart!

Baaah! I mean, while Heather is trying so hard, I click, she's unbothered. She's like, her lips are so tight. She's in the kitchen. There's a lady there and she goes, oh, are you making French fries, Alfredo? Oh, can I see how to do that?

I would love to know how to make French fries. This is something I can't wait to do. I'd learn about... So, no one is like... How do... Can you wear my seat down and have a talk, everyone? And Heather's like, no, I don't think so. I'm just gonna stand right behind you and pretend to enjoy carbs. I'm learning about these French potatoes and so Nual is like, you know, you just let me know when the timing is right because

There are things that we should discuss. I am really fucking let's do it down Let's just do it now fucking I can't listen to this all right sit down there. Oh god Of course you sit like that because no one is like, all right, let me sit down there. Oh God, of course you sit like that, because no one was like, all right, let me sit down. That's how she sits, right? So then they just have to stare off. Next time, on real housewives of Orange County, you have come to learn to be a warrior. Next time, on Real Housewives of Orange County, you have come to learn to be a warrior.

You have come to learn the way of the bow. Does this involve French fries? I just learned about them. Oh my God, it's a bear! Oh, it's a bear! Oh, it's a bear! Listen here, bear, if you ever come for me or my family, ever again, right Terry? Ah! And that brings us the end of the real housewives of Orange County. Thank you so much San Francisco.

Thank you so much! It's wonderful have you guys back here. Thank you so much. Have a great night! I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, she's a Daniela. Itch-als! Dan-a-see! Dan-a-do! Aaron McNickless, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Hava-Neggila Weber! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Jess saying, okay! Kristen the Piston Anderson! Wee McLeven, Karen McLellan!

She's always sublying, it's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. She's our queen, Marie Levine. Let's give a kiss, Arino, to Lisa Lino. There ain't no problem that Sarah Solvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Betches. Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD.

Always the wiser is Allison Weasler. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Erica, 500 days of summers. The incredible edible Matthewsisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Merto, Karen McMurdo.

No one makes us feel well like Megan Capzywell. Paging Page Mills, Paging Page Mills. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She leaves us in stitches, it's Catherine Taylor. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Kristen, the Ruby Rubano. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We want to hang with Liz Lang.

Shannon, out of a cannon Anthony! Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy! Let's take off with Tamla Plane! She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutard! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins' ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with

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