Watch What Crappens - RHOD: A Clean Lone Star Slate

Episode Date: August 16, 2017

Real Housewives of Dallas returns with better hair, crazier ladies, and more terrified trollies. Enjoy!  ** Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos are going to be our special guest on the Setp 2 Live Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-sla-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.

On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins. We'll see you there! I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm and some talented man Ben Mantleker of the B side blog in the banter blender. Hey, baby. Oh, Hello there, Rami. How are you? Good. I had a I had been having weird nightmares. What what's wrong? I don't know. They're so on the nose. It's like I'm lost or

I mean mostly there. I'm it's always my nightmare. I'm like lost somewhere just wandering around It's perfect. Well, you know, I had some weird dreams over the weekend, which I was going to share on the bonus episode, and I've totally forgot, and this is a good excuse for me to mention them. I think I mentioned this at dinner. I don't remember if I did. I had a dream.

I went to Durinda's house, and she was having a little bit of a party, and she had one of those high-tech Japanese toilets that's electronic, and I went to lift up the toilet seat, and I snapped it off by accident, And she had one of those high tech Japanese toilets that's electronic. And I went to lift up the toilet seat and I snapped it off by accident. And then she was like, what do I do? Because I just broke Durin does toilet seat. It's not just a toilet seat.

It's a high tech one. Is she going to yell at me? Is she going to keep me out of the party? Am I even supposed to be at this party? And so I was like, all panicked. And then I went back out. And then someone who I think I brought invited like 20 people.

And so Doreen just started freaking out about the 20 people who came over to the party. And I was like, oh my god, I'm ruining everything. Well, I wish we could be in each other's dreams. Because if you came into mind, you'd be like, here's a Google Maps. And then if I could be in yours, I would just say blame John. Like who else is going to break the fucking toilet? John, okay? Yeah. You're you see? You see?

You need to be in my dreams. I know. We need each other in our dreams. Everybody, thanks for being here today. Real quick, we sell tickets for our LA shows September 2, which is F. Lewis, Gage Edward, Jenny Poulos, go to watch it crapens.com to get those. Thanks to everybody who's bought tickets. That's going to be a super fun weekend. And we're excited to come to Chicago. That one sold out, but we're doing two shows there at the end of September. So we're psyched to see you guys. I mean, for all our bonus episodes go over to Patreon. This week's was about our weekend with the ladies of Bravo or some ladies of Bravo, you know, don't want to send the ladies of Bravo. We didn't see. And we should mention the ladies of Bravo and Niko.

Yes, and Niko's not hot. He's a Bravo. How do you do? Oh, as I should have called it, how do you say Bravo? So welcome to the show today is real house swathes of Dallas which is returned Glory, so mad. I'd like so mad. I'm furious. Why are you mad? I'll tell you why I'm mad because No one warned me that when Dallas was gonna come back for a second season that it would be so Effing good. Oh my god. I loved last night's show. It was really good. I mean, everything looks better on this show. Yeah. The way it looks like crazier. I think they said, okay, you all need crazier faces to be on this show. I don't

care what you do. Get them cut, pulled, glue gunned. I don't care. Then they put those filters on the, you know, these, the Beverly Hills filters for these ladies. So like, okay, now you look crazy. And so you can have some Scotch tape. Scotch tape is like the clear tape, right? But with smoke. Okay, they're like, well, put some Scotch tape on the lens. Like we do for Vanderpump and Kyle. Yeah. And then they added a bunch of crazies and their moms. Yeah. No, I think it's an improvement for the better. This reminds me of when Miami came back for a second season, and it was like, oh my God, Miami suddenly just came alive. Unfortunately, they had a bad third season, and then we're gone.

But Dallas, so far, very strong season premiere for the second season. Love it. If you don't pay attention to this company, you are not going to get this company. Oh, yes, mom, crazy mom with Tammy faith, faith. Yeah, amazing. Amazing. So shall we just start from the very beginning? Shall we begin at the beginning? As they say, and Joseph, an amazing technical or dream coat.

Shall begin at the beginning. I hate that touching song. You know how much traumatic shit happens in that show? And they're like, now let's sing a nursery song. I know that is actually really bad song. It was read in yellow and green and brown. That's probably the reason that you're reading. And I'm going to go to the like that.

Yeah, like all those colors. Okay. So this season starts off with Joseph. Oh, I drink through the desert. It's with Michael Damian. Starts off with a narrator. Next. And that is these did it.

Did it. So they, they started the, you know, this season on the real, and it got so crazy that I just stopped taking notes and watched it, but it ends with Leigh Ann going, it's a flush eaten bacteria. And then she's in the hospital with tape on her face. I'm so excited to see how that turns out. And I knew I was in. Yeah. The episode starts in earnest at Carrey Dubers house

with like 10 million dogs barking up a storm in her foyer. And Stephanie comes over with her new dog, BSGit. Who's just like a terror? Got a look at it from BSGit. Gotta watch how his BSGit's like, why name your dog after shit and any you eat like who are you kidding? I like carries new face. It looks a little crazy like it's not new. It's just pulled back further It looks like she has been riding in a side car

Well her husband does so many boobs and I think she just got like the cone boob from Madonna's days She's just like here's what I want from my face. I wanted to look like I'm perpetually blow dry in my hair. Okay. I love season aside, Gar. And one of her eyes is kind of closing at all times. Like she's got that Kyle Botox blink. When I was blinking a lot in the other eyes, like looking somewhere else.

I love that. That shows effort. Yeah. And we respect it. We respect it. Yeah. Carrie has become really close with Stephanie because we hang out. We do stuff with the kids and she invited me to fashion week and now I feel like we're best friends because, you know, that's how French sets are formed. Exactly. It's one of many tenuous friendships that were formed in between seasons. Carried by the way, she's wearing a sweater. Did you notice her sweater? It made her look like a stingray. It was just like at this weird flappy thing. It was either a stingray or a flying squirrel, but it

was like her arms would come out, but the sweater sort of wrapped around the outside of her elbows. And so she just looked like she just go flapping off somewhere. I didn't even notice any of their clothes. I was looking at everything. It's like, dog faces. You missed a stingray sweater. I mean, I just think it's funny

that they met at Fashion Weekend. This is what she came away with in a stingray sweater. Well, no one goes, no one leaves Fashion Week with like a nice tunic. You know it's always something fucking crazy and stupid. Especially Fashion Week in Dallas. Oh girl. Yeah I think I said one time one of my cousins lives there and she visited me when I lived in New York and she's like well everyone thinks they're so bright here but Dallas is a fashion capital of the world. And I was like, good, good God, lady. Just because you guys wear church clothes to cheesecake factory and do your hair and makeup to go there,

doesn't mean you're a fashion capital of the world. Okay, drop it. Yeah. Yeah. So a girl comes over. Yeah. And this is this, you can tell the producers are really excited to rejigger this franchise because they get the new girl in there right away within like 10 seconds at the season beginning. Like, oh, here's a new face. Don't worry, everyone. And also a new cast member. Yes.

It's Cameron Westcott. And she's very, very rich. And she's just pretending to be blonde, but she's very, very intelligent. Okay. So here's something, did she look familiar to you at all, aside from the fact that she looked sort of like Nicole Kim and Big Little eyes. She looked like this girl I used to go to high school with that drew horses on her trapper keeper.

And then like got a job in a decent pants suit. Okay, well, maybe it is her. Well, here's a thing. One of our Instagram followers, a really adorable guy. I'm looking at his picture as as thing is account right now. His name is Evan. You can go follow him. It's champagne poppy underscore Ronnie. Um, he messaged us and it was like, if Cameron Westcott looks familiar, it's because she was on top chef Texas. Do you remember the episode where they had to do like a progressive dinner party? They had to or like they had to go to different people's houses. And there was one couple that where this lady was like, I'm obsessed with gummy bears and they had make a gummy bear cake. That was hard. That was her in her husband. I'm obsessed with gummy bears. Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember that. Okay, well, other

people will. Did you like that? Oh, did you like my helpful response there? I know, I know, but instead of the SM, I guess you guys not killing the game. Yeah. Um, I don't know whether I like her or not. I like that. She's rich as F because that's really fun about this show like people are so rich and they're all rich from random things. It's like my husband was the first one to put sunglasses racks and gas stations. Now we have 19 billion dollars. Like, whoa, Texas. Yeah. They make money on everything in Texas. My husband invented those little plastic things you have to cut off. So that way you from your clothing that has the price tags on it, you know. You know, I used to like buy open milk cartons. My husband invented those things

that go right over the lid and there's like a little tiny plastic handle. Now you have to do this pull that up and peel it off. Made it almost like a diet coke. Well, my husband invented the material they used to put inside of cardboard boxes that hold liquid. You know, so like if you got your chicken stock from Swanson, they have to put that metallic stuff on the inside my husband made that My husband invented those little discs with soap. They just float around the toilet bowl My husband invented dry cleaning plastic things Feel like they are like that. They're like the most boring things ever I feel like they are like that. They're like the most boring things ever.

Well, it always reminds me of Down Now at Beverly Hills, where Richard Dreyfus' character has like his family fortune is built on the fact that he makes wire hangers. Someone makes this shit. Someone makes all this shit. I started, my husband started making those paper things that go over the wire hangers that have the brand on them. Ma has been invented advertising on those paper things. Hanger brands.

But no one's husband invented paper, you know, like Texas isn't that kind of a place. No, I don't care. They got mall houses based on all sorts of weird jobs. So her husband is like in cash. He's a venture capitalist, but we don't meet him just yet. What happens is she walks in and and Carrie goes, oh Cameron is amazing. First she says, oh they have well, you know what they say? Some people are rich and then the wealthy people

who buy the rich people's bills. Well Cameron's real wealthy. She is the wealthiest and she is amazing. You know what, at the moment I met her, I knew I had to get to know this girl. I'm like, yeah, because you just said how wealthy she is. Could you be more transparent? Yeah.

See richer than you. Also, I like that this is kind of the whitest show in the world. And Carrie's like, you know, it's like Chris Rock said. It's like, oh, I'm like Chris Rock is actually sitting at home watching Dallas going like, God damn it. I didn't think this show could actually get any wider until Cameron showed up because she is so blazingly white, even like Princess Elsa's like girl chill, like this is, I need to put my sunglasses on when I look at you.

So she's got a little purse dog, little Yorkie named Louis Vuitton Whiskult. Yes. So let's see here, not too much except we get to know a little bit about Cameron. She's, uh, Carrie insists that she's like the real life L Woods. Now if anybody's seen legally blonde, which I hope everybody in this audience has, L Woods is this plucky little bimbo who reads a lot of law books then becomes actually smart. I don't get that here. This girl isn't really going for like law. Okay. She wants to make pink dog food. Yeah. Her whole thing is she goes, well, I do have a blonde license plate and I am telling you everyone drops so safe around my car. It's me. It says blonde. I like to use my blonde card.

It's a con is old as hair dye. So Perry's having a party for Mark, her dress buying fetish husband. Yeah. And she's like, I'm really trying to move on from the whole Liam thing. And then we get some clips of the reunion where Liam's like, well, at least I've been stealing my husband. You know, Charlie, whatever.

And then Carrie was trying to cry, but her face wouldn't really move. And she's like, Oh, could you? So Stephanie says, well, speaking of her, did you see the police report that Marie tweeted out? You guys like gas you tried to kill someone with an eye and sandpaper apparently and camera goes I would never have thought of sandpaper is a weapon Does that Um, I love that Leanne tried to kill someone with sandpaper. I Um, I love that Leanne tried to kill someone with sandpaper. I'm either gonna try to kill you or smooth you out. You're either gonna die or your turkey neck is gonna die.

What's it gonna be, mister? Listen, I'm either gonna rub you out or I'm gonna rub you out. Um, I took a screenshot of this lawsuit. Can I read some of it? Because it's amazing. I took a screenshot of this lawsuit. Can I read some of it? Because it's amazing. A fence narrative, which I like, you know, that they make it like theatrical.

Yes. Stated that the suspect became upset and began swinging a large kitchen knife at him, forcing the comp to lock himself in a bedroom to avoid being cut. The suspect also hit the comp in the face near the right eye with sandpaper in her hand, causing pain and it's so wrong to laugh at him. Sorry, but I love someone who like gets, you know, home improvement. Pain and injury to the comp's

face and of elements, the comp stated that he and the suspect were at a club earlier in the night with some friends of theirs. The suspect became upset and accused the comp of hitting on the friend's girlfriend. They came home and began arguing. She grabbed a large kitchen knife and began to chase the comp while swinging and a cutting fast. The comp ran into a bedroom near the front of the residence and locked himself to, yeah, I guess they're going to repeat this whole thing. But I like that Leanne doesn't try to completely deny it because you know that she did this You can see her doing it because she wouldn't just chase you with an if she would chase you through while making our cuttings Cutting thing like I'm gonna cut you like this

Give me a knob has some sandpaper or your soul is dead Your charity world is over. Come here, I'm gonna cut it out. I'm gonna cut it out from your gut. We're not gonna cut it out from your neck. Jesus. I'm gonna buff you. Jesus.

So there we are. So yeah. And by the way, I feel like we have to mention the fact that the reason why this report got out there is because good old Marie put it out there for the world. We all remember Marie. That was Leanne's Bestie who then turned on her and because she was basically terrified of Leanne, you know Stockholm syndrome. Well, she had been Stockholm syndrome and now she like snapped out of it. So they are, they're in a very,

very, very bad place. And I do hope we get to see Maria this season because she's hilarious. Yeah. And she'll make me I'm crazy. Yeah. Stephanie said, yeah, should you even have friends that take knives to your to their ex and it doesn't shock you? That's not a good friendship. And Carrie says, well, I reached out to her when the report came out because it was the right thing to do. Stephanie says, okay, well, we'll invite her, but first off, Friskar, for Sandpaper and knives. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,'re going to severely hurt your hands, or you'll find nothing, and then Leanna's going to kill you. You're a bit grudeless. So I'm going to round the back. She'll have some sandpaper on the bottom of her shoes.

She's tricky this one. She's already got one. She's got one. I'm a corny. I know where they are to sandpaper. I'm a corny kid. Missed with me. You're going to bite.

This year she didn't say it. She said, obviously, they have to have new lines. And this year she's like, I'm no bull but all horns and I was like no there there shouldn't be a but there but otherwise I like this mess with the bull you'll get the sandpaper did you notice that one of the first things that they showed they're like look horse statues bull statues in front yards, and a trolley. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, look at terrified trolley,

just try to make its way at the street. It's like, okay everyone, all right, we're gonna try to go down the next mile. We've heard that there've been some land sightings, so we just recommend everyone, keep your hands inside the trolley. It's like what they do at the Universal Studios ride when you go through draws.

And let's be here, there's sharks. Unless you want your fingerprint sanded off, which case. Yeah. Leanne just comes out with a roll of sandpaper. I'm getting a trolley. Shhh. So when the X-Men start writing out of powers,

I'm playing paper hand. I'm mute. I'm a mutant. My hands are sandpaper. No one's going to have cleaner banders and banders and I come down. I'm going to read this world of splinters. So next scene is Randy. Hi. So after all this time, Brandy has not learned to project.

She still looks like she just woke up. She's tromping around the store with Leanne because apparently they're friends now. She doesn't look like major surgery. She looks like small. I mean, I know it's gross to talk about everybody's surgery. But it is a new season of a housewife so, so, you know, I need to be updated. She doesn't look majorly surgeryed. She says there's squinty like, like she just did that eyes. But her eyebrows are higher. So I think she just did like a straight up pull up. I don't think she's done anything.

I seriously believe she just woke up and is having like early sensations of diarrhea. Like everything's fine now, but like maybe in like 25 minutes, she'll probably need to go to the bathroom. Well, you'll know because you know she loves talking about poop this one. That's true. See, that's why I know if she's listening. I know she's not offended. She's like, thank you.

So she's become friends with Leanne. She's like, surprise. Friends with Leanne. The lady who works at the store comes over and she said, honey, would you like anything? She's like, you know, bubbles for 20. You know bubbles for a friend. The and Liam's like, you sure are something. But I'll be these two get along. I honestly, I don't know. Well, actually, I do know because Leanne tells us the origin story of their new friendship.

She's like, well, this one day I was out. I ran into one of birthday and she said it's my birthday and I said happy birthday and we've been friends ever since. You see it could have been that easy this whole time. So basically to make friends you either invite someone to Fashion Week or you just say happy birthday to someone. It's easy, it's easy off camera, you know. And Brandy says

And it's been working on herself Last year we did not get along and it's just a montage of oh, kill you. That is it nice I'm gonna at the end these two Yeah, these two love talking about poop more than anybody else. So there you go Well Brandy likes talking about it and Land likes doing it in a basket. I'm gonna give you all a number. Yeah. I'm gonna give basket. And land the triumph is not gone. Try on this not gone. Oh my god, you're so sexy. I got that on a snap. I like snapchat. It's this thing where you go on to chat. Instead of chatting chatting you just snap a people Mimic her Snap it went away. I dare you

So Oh, so let's so now so we this one we learned that brandy and stuff are in the middle of a fight They haven't talked in four months and as we all know from last season There were best friends, almost even sisters, but they haven't talked since Father's Day. And according to Stephanie, Brandy got mad at her, but she didn't tell her why. So Stephanie has been wondering and texting and writing all this stuff. But then we see that Brandy is like, well, she wrote in her Bravo blog that my marriage was a slow motion car crash and falling apart before her rise.

And I'm like, now, they show it on screen. They show the pull quote and everything. I didn't go back to actually read the blog that Stephanie wrote because I said it could not care less. But what's the thing? What's the thing? What if you read anything after they showed the offense narrative? Yeah, so, so but the sentence said basically, it was like watching a slow motion

car wreck. That's, that's not bad. If you're watching Brandy and Brian's, anyone who watched the show, so Brandy and Brian's relationship, it sucked. It was terrible. He didn't want to be there. He was angry, he was sad. So for her to say, it's like watching a slow motion car wreck, that's not crazy, Brande. I'm sorry. Don't like, don't like, project your insecurities of your marriage onto sweet Stephanie. I know. Is it the person who filmed the slow motion car wreck and talked about it and rubbernacked,

or is it the person who got in a slow motion car rack? You know, to me it's to me it's like the classic thing and of course I'm basing this all on like one tiny little scene I'm sure my opinion may change over the course of the season But it seems like a classic thing where like her you know Your relationship is is in the shitter and so someone happens to mention it and you're so insecure about it You're so upset about it that rather than admit that your relationship is in the shitter, it's easier just to push away the person who calls it out. Right. Well, you know she's mad if she's hanging out with Leanne because whether you,

whether you run into Leanne on your birthday and you have a good time with her and become friends or not, you know that Leanne is the one who's going to go after Stephanie. It's like just it's basically like walking into a gun store and being like, you know, can I have to you with an AK-47? Do you have anyone who I could have a nice lunch with the weapon? Yeah. So Stephanie's like, we were like sisters and then they show a montage and it's just poop jokes and corkscrews than the eye. That is a friendship right there. Although, but now, both girls are now sort of blame each other for things in their marriage. So Stephanie was like, I was helping Brandy sell much when things were going bad with her in Brian because, you know, slow motion car, et cetera. And then I neglected Travis.

So my marriage really suffered because of her. Like, oh, yeah, these girls are okay. Yeah, they both ended up blaming each other. Yeah. Last year I was basically married to Stephanie. Oh, she's like, I had to put a wall up and be numb. And then we get a terrifying trolley for the next scene. It's like, the producers are like, okay, let's bring in the fresh blood.

All right, let's go to Cameron in her life. So we go, we see Cameron talking to her, her main Maria. And she's like, today I am going to make pumpkin pasta. And it's like Maria's just looking at her like, no, you won't bitch. I know Morton pizza for you soon. And it's like, gay that up, Miko's seen us. Blit that gling.

Did you notice that Cameron has a son named Cruz? And Stephanie has a son named Cruiser. What is going on in Texas? Cameron has a son named Cruz. And what's her other kid's name? Hilton and the husband's name is Quartz. And his name is court. I mean, come on.

If I didn't know any better, these are like clues to scavenger hunt. Like, you're going to win an all expense paid Carnival Cruz trip by finding the clue in the lobby of the Hilton. Under the tennis court. So Cameron's like, mommy is making roasted pumpkin pasta. Like, I don't give a fuck, Mom. Mommy, my mommy made, my mommy was a Miss Cook. She made up recipes.

Wow, from scratch, she would just make them up. When I was a kid, I was such a nerd. I was more concerned with A's than my real life. My breathers would call me nerd patrol because when they did something bad, I would say, mom's gonna know. I was like, I'm not really sure what to think of you, but I really love that you think you're like super intelligent

and just pretending to be a bit more. I know, but I could also see it. It's like my favorite personality trait of a new housewife so far. I also can totally see her being a tattletail, which is great. She's and then she starts saying, you know what I love about court? Court is a nerd. And like when when I met him, my friends were like, wow, guess what? The nerds found each other. Well, I wasn't really interested in him, because he's a midget. We called him the Hobbit.

I'm six feet and he and court, you know, he's the Hobbit. That's love right there. Yeah, I really is. We even installed a circular door on the house. So he literally does have a little man, Hobbit cave. So nice and I have to get a big screen TV for a man.

We put an iPhone 6 down there and it's like he's in front of a movie screen. Court come up here, mom is making pumpkin. He's obsessed with wizards. He's like, do not tell anybody I have the ring. I'll court. That's just the TV remote. Leanne's like, give me that ring. My precious. So stupid. So she's trying to cut a pumpkin in half one of those little baby pumpkins.

And she's, she goes, this is crazy. It is a crazy world, those pumpkins. It makes sense. She says one of the reasons why she loves pink is because with all the horrible things happening in our world, I like to leave in a bubble so I just put pink everywhere. Yeah, you're really helped. That's where we are right now in America, because we have too many people putting pink everywhere. You've destroyed the entire world. Yeah, she's like,

you know, my husband is short, but I was just attracted to him because I really like Hobbit movies. And it wasn't because of his money. He doesn't flash his money. When he picked me up and said, we're going on a trip I thought he meant DFW, but it was a private plane. I'm sure okay. You're a so smart You didn't Google his ass the second you went on a date with him come on. Yeah. Yeah, exactly please we and good for you Yeah, good for you because he's reasonably cute. He's wealthy and he's nice and he names his baby stupid things like to Ask his stupid name. His babies are named after nouns. Yeah, I like that court Cruisin and cruise

Court Hilton and Cruz. I feel like those are all Things that you would do at the Hilton. It's like The Hilton Forks Their next baby's to be named spa. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on. Some days parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. This is my baby.

On mental breakfast. The pumice stone. Okay. This is my baby. Do not disturb. This is my baby $5 diet. This is my baby seafood buffet. Mimmy fridge. Here's my baby churn down service.

Date night. To lose. Time for date night. So Lee and Rich are man are going on a double date with my best friend Dandra Simmons and Jeremy. Yeah, don't be confused by the boss trophy in her name. Yeah, her name is not dandra is the andro. Dandra.

She has head and shoulders above the rest get it, Dandra. Hey, fuse the orange cap. It'll also get those little white leg spots off your arm. Deandra is sort of like the Katie Lee Joel of the Dallas set. She is there. Apparently she's very important because we got a flashback to last season at the reunion when Liam was like, well, you know, the Simmons wedding.

I was there and I was there. I was there, she's like, yeah, well, I was inside. You were outside. I was standing right next to him. I was right next to Sandra. There were only 50 people in the same money. You must have been in the reception. And Gary's like, one eye twitching like, oh, got me.

Hey, do you hear about the antenna wedding? Yeah, the ceremony was nice, but the reception was amazing. Get it? Yes, but you don't, but the reception was amazing get it Yes, but you don't but you don't carry but you don't get that reference. Hey, I just want to smooth things out carry no Mr. Sandpaper man give me a carry And if you don't I'm gonna get you from your gut I'm gonna get you from your gut. I'm gonna get you from your gut, Nivaker. This is so honestly.

Okay, so Leanne got up misleanne. So she's like, double date, this is Mandarin Jeremy. So she's like, the Andrew, I could see her sleep in an entire cow right now. And I'm like, yes, she could. And she's like, I'll take a Pino. And then Deandre's like, I'll have Vaca Soder, whatever she said. And Leigh goes, Leigh goes, never mind.

I'll have double what she's having, because it's going to be good. We all need this. We all need this in our lives, or she's rich as hell in my best friend. Yay me score. Drinks on you, right? So we learned that Rich had a spontaneous redinal tear, so his eyes messed up, which is why you may have seen pictures of him with an eye patch. And right after like they ask him, so what's going on with your eye, et cetera, Jeremy

turns and goes, so what's your future? What are you looking at doing? I'm like looking at doing, come on, Jeremy, that's just rude. Jeremy, do your guys. So it's a match. You're mentally disabled and he's blind. Haha. It's like I'm into this girl and we answer. You see, we can put phone at each other. Not the one about to get mad. For now. See it works because she's super wealthy and I'm not. So neither one of us get mad. Yeah, exactly.

Now it's Fontaneus retinol tear. House Fontaneus gonna wrap retinol tape. It's called sandpaper eye. It's called sleeping next to someone who's dreaming of wax on wax off Mimic on mimic on Trolley on trolley off For a guy so deandras saying, my mom won't retire. Just

talk to me. We're both control freaks. She worries since I was born with the silver spoon. I can't get money on my own. And the end is you raise money for charity. So raise it for your business. I don't think you can really do. You can't take like your mom's diet shakes around to poor people. Be like, please buy these diet shakes for these poor people. They need at least so they need less nutrients. So we then go into Deandra's life and she's at home.

We germ and we learned that Deandra's mom D is gonna be coming over for breakfast and this woman must be a piece of work because Deandra's like, oh God, mom's coming over for breakfast. We gotta bust out the China. I'm like, China for breakfast because your mom's coming over. She won't eat all regular plates

and her husband's like some hot ex-military dude who's now a photojournalist. And she's like, you know, it's great because I didn't have to marry a man from privilege because I'm already rich girl. So I just got to marry a hot stud. And I did. Pretty much.

And then she starts talking about the mom, about how the mom, everything, but like the mom was pageant queen. And then she got cancer and started a nutritional business and then started earning millions and millions and millions and millions and millions and all We we haven't even met this woman. We just see these photos one photo after the next and hearing how she spoiled Andra and I was like I am obsessed with women and I've not even met her yet. I am so excited So many mommy issues like everything she says is just like is just loaded with mommy issues, which I love.

Yeah, she's saying things like, yeah, my mom, I think this one she said, my mom's probably rotten. By the time I was six, I had 245 dresses. I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. And I'm still do. And you know that, you know, because then Deandra is talking about her house

and she's saying, we like to call our house the United Nations, because we have all sorts of African and Asian or et cetera from all around the world. And I'm like, you know, she just does that to piss off her mom. Yeah. She's like, look, mom, we got this in Africa. I call it damn it. I don't know.

She said, my mom had 35 pageant pants. Everyone would say she's fantastic growing up. And I would think, what am I, a chopped liver? It's like, oh, good. Here we go. And you know, the and I would think what am I chopped liver? It's like oh good here we go Then you know the mom was like you are chopped liver until you can find a way to unchop yourself. You will be chopped liver Oh, yeah, I am so here for this girl And then she goes when she's talking about traveling to seven 75 countries She goes and of course my husband's a photo journalistjournalist. So we got to show his art.

And his art is like him in like drag in different countries. Did you notice that wall of him and like different? It was like a battery peri-concert. Yeah, it's like a appropriation going on. So weird. It's like, here's drag in Africa. Here's drag in China. Here's drag in China.

It's like, what is going on? She's like, he and my husband's in all kinds of dresses. Mom loves this room. It would be offensive, except for the fact that you know, it's all a passive, aggressive message against D. Yeah. I'm like, look, this is who I married, mom. This is my married. And look, I just got some Islamic art. You know, she just put China down to make her racist mom mad. You know her mom probably wanted the slate plate. Hey mom these are made in China. Hey mom like all these China. So so do you walk in with this like amazingly perfect blonde little wig and like her face full of makeup like she's about to anchor the morning news.

And immediately she's passive aggressive. She's like, oh, I never see you this early. Exit for church to the husband because you know the husband runs the fuck out of there every time this one. She just hates him. She hates everything about this girl. She's like, she's got me my hair. She's got power me my hair because mostly me ma's go I put way up and now they're learning it can still be high and straight you know so she's got this like power me my hair

She's like oh look it's your husband he's like oh So he's sitting there and she's like we we have a look at this. It looks so nice. These plates are so nice And then Deandra tells us you know she's supposed to turn over her company to me in 2004 It is 2017. Yeah, then there's just silence and this sounds Well, what makes it even worse is that Deandra was following a whole different career in Washington and politics, and her mom basically was like, come back and take over the business. So her mom tricked her to, so that way she'd be like ensnared in her co-dependent web of motherly abuse, which is amazing.

Yeah, shit. You know, you can buy a house, you can buy some power of me, my hair. You cannot buy a daughter to like ruin. You know what I mean? Yes. And did you notice, by the way, that when she said to her, when Deandra said to D, she goes, oh, I put out the China for you that D goes, thank you instead of, oh, you didn't have to do that.

So I thought, well, thanks for showing a little respect to my eating patterns. And instead of my business, and I built from the grand up, with just my heart and soul, that you'll never be good enough to take over. Thank you for putting out one thing that isn't some garish eastern art thing, some tribal mask. Why, dry toast. How filling?

It's like, geez, you could just see this woman her face is pulled so far back You don't know what she's thinking all you can see it isn't her beady little eyes and they're looking like this You're stupid. That's what their thing you did it's as if Michael Myers Wasn't a psychopath like knife killing serial killer It's that he was just a Texas Mima Yeah like knife killing serial killer. It's that he was just a Texas Mimaw. Yeah, Michael Myers is a scam from the institution and then just past judgment on a lady.

If you was rich enough to buy like an actual face mask instead of a ski mask. If you just had a better wig, basically it's like Lady Michael Myers. Yeah, she's like, this is how rich people tear, far people. So there's silence and clinking and Jeremy's putting butter on his toast.

And the ender's like, Oh, Jeremy, you don't use that knife for toast. Oh, idiot. That's so sorry, mother. You're better on a plate. Sorry, mom. I'm sorry. I should have put out the butter plates. I should have.

I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. And he's like, well, that's your fault. But I don't know that. And then the mom just shrugs like idiots. Yeah. The mom does not have a moment like, oh, relax. Right?

It's fine. It's breakfast. She's just like, this is why I don't get the company. You can't even handle a butter plate. So the mom's like, there's a reason I want to meet. So she's like, okay, mom. So she puts on her like smart person glasses. She's like, I'm wearing glasses, may your mom like that is my

way. And by the way, I just want to say, yeah, those smart person glasses are very hilarious. She looks like she was a jeweler. They were so massive. But, um, but D here they are apologizing to D for like, germine, not having proper butter etiquette. And she didn't put out the butter plates, et cetera.

And then D starts talking, she has a full mouth full of food and she's chomping away and talking. I'm like, listen bitch, you don't get to be the queen of etiquette around here. If you're gonna be talking with a full scone in your mouth. I'm rich. She's like, I don't care what you think of me. I can still buy and sell you five times over.

Yeah, she's like, I don't use, I don't waste money on someone else's company credit card. Now listen, I came over here because I want to talk about that company credit card. You got, you got to be responsible. Now, laugh all you want to, but you should see what shows up on these credit cards. You stopped laughing. There are African skirts made out of glitter. I don't even know what a de Sheikie is, but it's on the statement.

They're all him posting in the drag pictures upstairs. She's, you know, she's, she basically says, you know, I've got to go out of town so you're going to have the company credit card and I don't want you buying designer gowns at Neem Inn's and not because they're expansive. It's because you don't have the body for it anymore, honey. Okay. You don't even know what a budget is. What's a budget? She goes. It's so you know how much you can... Did you say it's a cart rental place? Yes. It's Dean answering. He's the only one who would know that. She's like a budget. It's how you know how much you can spend mom every moment. And she's like, yeah, well, I know you

have a lot of ideas. But until you take responsibility of this company, I'm not going to walk away. I got to wait. I got to test them back. Get Maria over here. Get that out of the back of my two. You know, at this house needs? It needs more paintings of whales and dolphins. None of this traveler. I mean why do you need to have a a fight? I wouldn't antelope. So now. So now one of my favorite scenes of the episode. Sorry everyone. Is Leanne visiting her therapist? This scene, like, I was cracking up in the scene. Were you cracking up in an awesome money? I thought it was the funniest shit ever.

Because Leanne really is, I can see that she really is seeing for the first time that she is criminally insane because she heard so much feedback and saw herself on TV last year. And she's starting to understand things Logically, but she's just crazy like what are you gonna do? And you see you're trying so hard poor poly and what you gonna do What you gonna say a little Joseph callbacks or off somebody

Sam piper the therapist all right, Mrs. Frazier, let's talk. So she's like, I really need to work on moderate action to anger. And that's what I'm here for. And then they cut to Marie going, you blame me for something I didn't even do. And then you threatened my life. And she's like, I'm just saying, I'll kill you. So, so Leanne's talking about how this, this police report was a false police report that her boyfriend made it up just to screw with her, et cetera. And, you know, Marie had brought it up, you know, in life. And so, Leanne is patting herself on the back saying, you know, the old Leanne, what it basically, how would it attack Marie? And so Leanne is patting herself on the back thing. You know, the old Leanne would have basically attacked Marie.

And I would have said, let's talk about your stuff Marie. And then therapist just goes, yeah, I think that Leanne is still here. Yeah. The therapist is not even bending at all, but I love because she looks like so nice and blonde and sweet, which is so Texas, you know, and the core. Yeah, she really did because Liam is trying to get off. She's like, the old me would have beat her up the side of the face, but the new me says, good for you, Marie. They're like, no, no, you'll be there. Still there.

And still there. Lee had so kuku. She doesn't even realize how blatantly she's lying. She dug up a completely false police report. What? How could you dig up? It's like someone made a false police report a long time ago that she just happened to be able to dig. I mean, you're just nuts. Okay. And she says, last year, my reputation in Dallas society was affected by my blowups. You can hear reverse beats wherever I showed up.

It was just the trial. Just the trial is backing out of the yard. Oh shit. She's back. And I like Lee Ann, her, her introspection. She's like, I feel like if someone hurts me, I just want to verbally destroy them. Yeah. I wish that I could, I just don't like it when people change who I am. Just they don't change who you are. She's, I do. Don't dance. It is me who's in control

with me. Oh in control of me. Oh, I loved it when the therapist called her on that. The ident. Yeah. And she's like, well, Carrie, Carrie Dubor reached out, but I'm just defensive. I believe, Carrie. But I'm sure Stephanie's been talking about me in this report all over the city, and I don't trust her,

but I wanna, and the therapist is like, I can't change your mind leave your knife at home do you understand how difficult it is for me not to attack Harry Duber her own last name is an insult. You're such a Duber. You Duber. So then we go to Stephanie's house where she's talking something and her kids are up on the counter which also happened at Cameron's house

that the kids were up on the counter fully sitting on the counter that the little island. Is this a thing now? Is this a thing that parents allow kids to do? Then you hate your counter-setting. Listen. Child seating. Listen, counters are not for children. Counters are for food and sanitary things. They're also not for carols, okay?

Yeah, I don't want carol rats. Will sitting on the counter, I don't want a child. I don't want anyone sitting on a counter. Yeah, I don't want Carol Rads to well sitting on the calendar. I don't want a child to I don't want anyone sitting on a calendar Well Carol's but Carol's thing was different because the way Carol sat on that counter at that camera shop She was doing it like the cool girls, you know like when people think they're cool I'm gonna sit up here like a little higher than everyone else It's like this really obnoxious body language that people do especially girls. Sorry to be misogynist But girls girls do it all the time. Oh my God, girls love, go to a club.

Everyone sit in the bankets, I'll tell you, the girls are always the first to get on top of the banket. Like, I'm gonna sit on top of it. You know. Harry Bradshaw. Cause I'm like, I'm a jewer up here on top of the banket. Yeah, yeah. So, Stephanie's,

well, me and Travis are in a happier place last year. He was my boss and I was he's extremely hot assistant I love her laugh She says my marriage is really good now because I found my voice. Also, last year I was basically married to Brandy. And he's like, look, I'm trying to watch a game with Brian and Leigh. Brian said you guys still ain't hanging out, figure it out. Sick. Yeah.

Okay, boss. And meanwhile, Brandy has decided to also pull pretty much the same line. She's like, last year, my relationship with Brian wasn't great, but because I was going through all this from Stephanie, I had to pull away from Stephanie and spend more time with Brian. And now Brian's better. So things are better. Now that Stephanie's gone.

Like oh my god, Brandy, you two are ridiculous. And he's like, come on, honey. You know, Travis told me you're still not talking. You're too close for this. I cannot listen to much more with brain while I'm trying to sleep. And she's like, yeah, but in the Dallas social scene, she's made an effort to be with more people that are more important. And he goes versus you.

people that are more important. And he goes versus you. And the straw that broke the camel's back is that we had a father's day of an and she stayed inside of red magazines. And then Travis was like, why don't you hang out? And she said, you hang out with your friends. And I was like, well, you think you're better than me. And then I was like, sad. I don't want to be heard again. So let's go over to the Wolfgang Baker. Where Cameron and Deandra the newbies are going. Wait, I just want to say, I just want to say one comment. Okay, sorry.

No, no. Brandy is upset that Stephanie is being cold to her after Brandy stopped talking to her. Do you see what the issue like brand so Stephanie wrote something in a blog. You know, maybe she shouldn't have written it, but honestly, it did not seem like the worst thing in the world. Brandy got mad at her. Stephanie reached out to her multiple, multiple, multiple times. Brandy would never respond.

And then Stephanie gets dragged to a father's day event. And then Brandy shocked that Stephanie won't talk to her. See, something is not added. It's like, um, now we don't, I would like to have all the details. You know what? If I got it wrong, I'm sorry, but that's, no, you're right. But that's how it, that's how these girls are.

And the thing is I can never even listen because even though they're acting like this to each other, they're still best friends, because they're using everybody around them against each other. You know, it's great. Like she knows it's gonna make her fucking crazy that she's besties with Carrie. It's not like she wants to sit there and hang out with Carrie, you know?

Let me know if that's Carrie. But then, you know, like she wants to with Lee and her twin, you know? And then Brandy's hanging out with Lee and, so it's like kind of romantic. It's like friend band tech, you know. They're like, you hurt me so bad that I'm friends with Lehan. Well, you hurt me so bad that I'm friends with Carrie.

It's like, oh, jeez. We should be like sisters. We should be like sisters. I'm like, you are like sisters. Do you have lifetime? This is what you bitches do to each other. One of you is going gonna end up dead. And poor Tiffany Hendro, where is she? She didn't get anyone out of all this. Tiffany Hendro is like doing some YouTube in her closet right now. Like it was my choice.

Welcome to the sanctuary of style. Now here's my husband, Faith Keith Urban. Here's my husband Faith Keith. Faith Keith urban. Hi Keith. Play that October tune while I show everybody what a cow neck is. No excuse me. I'm going to do some cocaine off the kitchen floor. So yes, as you were saying before Cameron and Deandra are at a pet store. Well, people don't understand that I'm really smart.

I'm just joking. You know what? I want to make pink dog food organic. I'm like you are a dumber than a brick. So then Sandra's like, we have the same breed and that's why we're friends. Because Wescoz in the Simmons had been friends for years. We even lived by each other in Highland Park, which is an exclusive neighborhood of Dallas. But then every time Cameron talks, Deandra looks at her like,

Thak-yoo. Yeah, did you notice that when Cameron was talking to you, the person working at the dog store, she goes, Life is too short to keep eating brown food. I'm down to danders like I just ate toast, bitch. You know, I have to say bitch. You know, I have to say... LAUGHTER ...without the butter on account of the butter plate fiasco. So it was browner than usual.

I just think that's just bitch. I have to say this crusade for pink dog food is so, so utterly stupid that I almost think it's my favorite real housewife invention. Because I like... I just like how, how, uh, how bad it is. I like, you know, it's like, she's not even really aiming high with her ambitious. She just, she just wants to make some pink kibbles and bits. Well, if you think I'm dumb, trick, yeah, trick, she's like, well, Louis Vuitton,

Westcott. I used to look at him. I had him before my husband and I used to say, baby, baby, Lou, don't worry. I'm gonna find you a daddy soon. He's gonna be able to fit in this purse with you. And then I'm gonna get something for you guys. It's not brand.

Dogs terrified. The dog looks fucking terrified. Yeah. So they do this like a taste test of various different treats and Louis not really eating any of them. It's like oh, Lily hilarious So she eats it. Yeah, she does. It's good. It's better than my protein bar. Dandro makes another comment in here where she goes This girl is just hilarious. I mean she's just so funny she may probably dumb Barbie act but trust she knows what she's doing girl

she hates her I cannot wait to see this get ugly exactly so then we then go over to a park where Kerry meets up with Leanne and they're going to be trying to move on from their their low level feud. So you know, Carrie starts telling Leanne about how Mark was really hurt by Leanne's comments that, you know, for those who don't remember, Leanne had accused Carrie of stealing Mark away from his wife. Like he was having a fair with Carrie when he was with his wife and you know, they denied that and they were like, how could you? That's the reunion. We were just friends while I was working with it. It was friend-fucking. That is not stealing. Yeah, and it was true, but they can really deny it. And it's, and Leant doesn't even apologize for lying. She's just like, it wasn't my place to tell your business.

And then Carrie is like, well, that's why I called you't my place to tell your business. And then Carrie is like, well, that's why I called you. But your your business, your police business, because I'm not going to go behind your back about it. What are you talking about? It was on Twitter. So nevertheless, they both agree to have mutual respect because these women are smart. They realize new season, new storylines, right? Unlike our Orange County friends who are still tamerin Shannon still going, like refusing to film with the bicky, okay?

They're lily on bridge too. Which is funny. Hey, look, I don't got time to build bridges. Yeah, but we can meet on one. So then with this out of the way, they start talking about bringing Stephanie in they're and they're fight and basically Carries mindset is I'm just gonna stay out of it and they've got to figure it out themselves and Leanne's mindset is I want to get involved Mimic her they are literally not communicating

Well, these two are actually doing the fighting behind the scenes, you know, which is so funny. Leanne's guiding Brandy and then Kerry's sending Steph all these texts to piss off. Yes. I mean, it's so housewives. Exactly, because then it's time for Mark's Big Birthday party. And in the Uber, over to the party,

Brandy and Leanne are there. And basically, I guess maybe I might be jumping a little bit, but Brandy received a text from, Brandy received a text from Stephanie. But can you, can you, can you sort it out? It seems like she was saying she got a text from Stephanie saying, but it's so hard because she's always whispering. But here's how to know that she's just being an asshole because she's in the car with Leanne they've

both got rhodes which I'm not a fucking love this other shows they've got actual car drinks who's lids and straws to drink their drinks in the car so they've got rhodes and Leanne's taught you know probably told her I'm going to anger management you be strong for me tonight she's like I'm gonna be strong free is me. You be strong for me tonight. She's like, I'm going to be strong for you. Just be careful because I got a text from Stephanie saying that Carrie texted her and said, Leanne's up to her old ricks again. And she's like, what? What tricks?

Who said it? Where are they? I'm going to kill him up. Not tonight. Just because I'm a corny doesn't mean I got tricks. Hey, pull over here into this home depot I said I wouldn't sander, but I didn't promise not to carve a bitch. I want all types of sandpaper Of course fine in between anything you got

I'm gonna stick a stalk a miracle grow a purrass and watch Fernleys just pile out of her ears. Let's do it. I don't even know where I am today. I love it. I love it. Yeah. So basically for those who are still I just want to double clarify because it still was confusing. I had to go back

three times. Brandy says to Leanne, Hey, Carrie is saying that you are up to your old tricks again. And Leanne's like, where did you hear that? She's like, I got a text from Stephanie about it. So Stephanie had texted Brandy about Kerry saying that Kerry was talking shit essentially about Leanne. Right. And meanwhile, Cameron is up at the party. She's like, you guys, this is my mission. We are going to get pink camo. Okay, well, she's really on a great story arc here. And Carrie, she's like real life albums. More power to you. I'd be a good detective if I

could shoot a bitch. Like L Woods was a lawyer. Yes. And she's stopping you. I heard that Elwood is actually short for lesbian forest. So meanwhile when Leanne hears about this text message, she's also, she's so mad that carry to saying these things and she goes, you know what I'm going to do right now? We're going to pray. Oh God. And then she did she's like, dear Jesus, keep this evening. It's painful and honest as possible. Please, please, keep carried, dude, we're from turning me into the god damn hope. Like the god is busy, okay. He is busy. So they finally arrive at the party. Everyone's there and Stephanie goes up to Brandy,

taps her on the arm and says, Hey, how are you? Isn't this pretty? And Brandy doesn't even respond. She just looks around, she looks up, she looks down, looks to the side. It is so awkward. And Stephanie's looking on sadly.

And meanwhile, this is the music, which I love, because neither one of these women even talk loud. And the music is like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And then Cameron's like, heck, I'm new. I need to get in the mix here. I never met Brandy. So Cameron goes up and she just walks up to Brandy. He's like, ha, I'm Cameron. I'm prettier than you are. And I'm taller and I'm blonde and richer.

Not to make you. Randy's like, I'm wearing fleshed-owned dress. Looks like I'm showing skin, but I'm not. And meanwhile, but I'm not. Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. But they keep cutting to Stephanie watching. And it was actually kind of amazing, this look on her face, you know, cause basically brandy won't talk to her,

but she'll talk to this random girl. And Stephanie's just watching. And you can see it's this mixture of anger, and heartbreak, sadness and rage and confusion all on her face. It's like this amazing mix of emotions. So all the ladies are gathered now. That's my favorite part of the thing. She's like, Brandy, you want to talk for a second? Maybe just two seconds and Brandy's like, and we have like, she doesn't want to do that.

and Brandy's like, uh, Emily, I'm like, she didn't want to do that. Wow, then can we set up a time? I mean at your house or whatever. Uh, why don't you just text her, huh? That's what that's what good phones are for. I've got a bad phone though. Um, so then, um, so then yeah, it's like really awkward. Brandy is literally not even talking and Leanne's's basically her conceitly area at this moment. And Brandon's just like looking up at a ceiling fan.

And so it's like, okay, well, you decide what you want to do. And Leanne's like, I don't think she knows what her schedule is. Rotten Isle. I'm on a rock, Hal. It's what good care home jersey for. And Carrie's like, well, here comes Liam, like a hot missile. Just, you know, flattening towns with her eye-cow knowledge. She's like a North Korean missile in Guam.

And so, Brandy's like, I gotta leave. I don't want to make a scene. I don't want people to see the pain. I feel that my best friend. It's not my best friend anymore. Emily is like, don't, don't, like marching behind her like don't want to make a scene, how about you just say hello back to the girl, okay? It's called pleasantries. You can do it.

Like put up your indexes. You know how to be say, hi back when someone says hi, you know how to say hi back. So she walks her outside and Brandi's like, wha, wha, wha. And he's like, all right, be quiet, honey. It's okay. Wait for me right here I'm even go not murder someone to prove to everybody that I'm normal now. Okay So she goes back inside this door is heavy she goes back inside

And she's like Carrie duper. I am a little disappointed Because on the way here Brandy told me that Steph Taxter turned said that you, I was up to my old ways. I think he was like, I would never do that. Never. Never. You leave me that I would not say that, right? Thank you so much for coming to me instead

of making this a big deal. Because I would never say that. She's like, well, there's obviously a disconnect for those two. And I would never say that. She's like well there's obviously a disconnect for those two. And I would never say that. And thank you for not putting out there. Cause I didn't want to put it out there. Okay.

I'm not going to let that happen to me. Silly this so. And she's like well if I want to build a new relationship with Kara Dubor, I'm going to just have to trust her. And so I'm going gonna trust her for now. Mimicrr. Mimicr. But for that to be true then Stephanie would have to be lying and spreading shit about Carrie. Which of course Carrie doesn't go say why did you? Blah blah blah. Yeah exactly. I think Carrie just pulls Stephanie aside and I think I was she said to

Stephanie but it wasn't like why did you say that it was like just there they are little girl whatever she said I don't know. She's like have I mentioned I love sushi. Okay. Have I told you about my idea blue dog food? Oh we're gonna have a problem now. I want some blue sushi rice. Oh, we're gonna have a problem now. I want some blue sushi rass. Yeah. All right. Well, what should we do next, Bean? Well, that was the end of Dallas.

Great season premiere. I hope people are tuning in for that. Okay, well, it's Wednesday. And on Wednesday is we like to do listener spotlight, which is when we turn the podcast over to the listeners. So let's do a little Mr. Spotlight is basically for people who support the podcast on Patreon at the listener spotlight level or above. We give you two minutes to tell us about yourself and what you like on Bravo and things like that. And this week we have Jess Sayin, our famous premium sponsor, Jess Sayin. And at

long last we get to see you hear what Jess Sayin sounds like. You ready? Yeah. Hi, Ben. Hey, Ronnie. This is Jess Sayin. I've recorded a couple of these to send you all, but my phone this summer has seemed to want to take lots of deep dives and de-pools and oceans. I've been there. I've been there girl. I'm a very nice girl. And I can send you guys a voice memo. It's the origin story.

I love everything you guys do. I'm a huge supporter. And the way I got started with the two of you is actually because I heard Stasi talking about what took crap ends on a different podcast and I literally stopped what I was doing and I haven't looked back since. Thanks, Stasi AF. Leroy, as you guys bring me so much laughter and joy, I literally walk around my house

with the ear buds in and my phone in my back pocket day and night. It can't be replicated the two of you. And I'm so happy you're out on the road. I live in North Carolina, so I love if y'all brought it down south, but I'm going to try and somehow get to one of your shows. We'll try. We'll try. North Carolina. So I love if y south, but I'm in try and somehow get to one of y try something about shac maybe an option. Um, so

that's that's me and I just what you guys do. I have t here was the matter, w with droid called one of Bethany's assistants because somehow I now hear that phrase. What's going on with that? Many times in my day or week, which I've never did before,

or maybe I never paid attention. Or maybe I ran by these assistants. But it cracks me up. And yeah, that's kind of bit. You guys are awesome. I have turned so many people on to your podcast and everything about the two of you, whether it's Rose Pricks or watch what happens or sorry crap. So hopefully you get it this out. Lovely. Just listen to it and know that I'm your biggest fan. And so it's my dog, obviously, because you know, he just, oh, anyway, that's all it is.

My name is Jessica, handle is just saying. And I love to talk to you guys sometimes soon. Love to call in, but keep doing what you're doing because you actually are making America great again Happy me net. Oh Love you mean it just saying Yeah, thank you very much So

That's like the end of our show. Thanks. Thanks just saying for presenting that that in say hi to your dog for us Try to avoid all those wasamad is out there. And again, if you want to have your moment on the show or listen to Spotlight, just go to patreon.com slash watch for crap and follow the directions over there. Thank you so much you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Talk to you tomorrow for below deck reunion and real houses in New York reunion. Region, gaaannn. Bye! and Real House of New York reunion.

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