Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Carnie Commitment w Guests Captain Lee and Lea Black Live from Ft Lauderdale

Episode Date: November 10, 2019

Our friends Captain Lee from Below Deck and Lea Black from Real Housewives of Miami and the Lunch With Lea Podcast joined us in Fort Lauderdale for a really fun recap of Leanne's wedding on Real Housewives of Dallas. Thanks so everyone who came out! For this week's very special Free to Be Joe and Tree bonus episode covering the super serious Watch What Happens Live Giudice interview, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Indianapolis, Chicago (early and late show), NYC, St Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles (The Crappies), Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!), Houston, NOLA, Birmingham and Vancouver! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthewsisters. And... Mina Kuchiku-chiku-chi! Well, hello everybody. Here I am standing in the Charlotte Airport with this lovely piano music to record this announcement. Tonight's live show, to take place in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It was just such a dream, such a treasured time that we had together. We were both so touched to be there. Unfortunately, the Dodo birds who recorded it cut out the first three or four minutes, and then did the microphones all wrong, so fuck those guys.

In the meantime, we still had a fun, lovely show, and I've done my best to fix the audio. So just know that you're jumping into the show. Well Ben is talking about how he's enjoyed a fine nap before the show. Guys, thank you Piano player for this lead-in and thank you guys for being here. Enjoy this very special live show of the real Housewives of Dallas. Those naps where you wake up and you're like, I don't think I'll ever be awake again. You know, you're like, this is, I've never, I'm just always gonna be tired for the rest of my life. So that's the way I felt. So the first thing I tried to do, I was like, I'm gonna get some coffee.

So I went down to the, our hotel's like a coffee shop in the lobby. And where's Melissa? Melissa, my elevator friend, ran into Melissa. I was at peak rockiness. I was like, so sorry about that, Melissa. So I got a coffee, but it still wasn't working.

But then I was like, okay, you got to take a shower so We since it's like a new hotel. It's got like a fancy shower system where there's like you know like the rain showers So I was like you know how hard it is to get your tits drying or a washed and arranged shower everything's above your head Like have you heard of nuts like what am I supposed to do with my nuts? Yeah. What it's raining. So I'm like exhausted. I'm like, OK, let's turn on this rain shower. So I turn on the nozzle.

But I don't realize is that there's not only is there a rain shower, but there's a handheld attachment too that's already preset on. Vibrator. Don't use those in hotels because you know some rando has masturbated with that thing you know it's true I almost used it now it's like well some asshole left it aimed right at the shower door so I turn on the water and cold water shot at my face directly at my face long I'm a wake now. One of our friends said, oh, welcome to Fort Lauderdale. It's where old gay guys go to die. I was like, what's nice to be back in Palm Springs.

You know, I was like, whatever. You're talking to a California boy. And then I looked out the hotel window and the parking structure has a big, a big, murals, a Betty Davis, but green. And I was like, okay, bring my best hands. I'm totally done. I'm a great man. I'm a great man. the hotel window and the parking structure has a big mural of Betty Davis but green and I was like okay bring my best hands all right I'm totally done I'm ready to retire this is my

town so we are really excited about tonight because obviously we're gonna be talking about Real House House of Dallas and we're going to be talking about the wedding. And Ron and I were lucky to go to the wedding. So we obviously didn't eat just so we could talk about this so properly tonight. Yes. We brought some photos as well. So.

But being where we are, we are lucky enough to, over the years, have met people from the TV and some of them aren't complete cut fitnesses, okay? A lot of them are actually amazing people and have become good friends of ours. So we wanted to bring them out today, because they're here, hey? Yeah. So first up, we want to welcome the real housewives of Miami Miss Leah Black. Hi babe.

Thank you so much for coming out. On the train from Miami. It's my first experience on the train. It's fabulous. How was it? It's very clean and classy and first class. These serve food and drinks and we had a good time James and I came. We have very different trains.

So Leah does a podcast called Lunch with Leah that you can watch on Facebook live every week. And you can also download it wherever you download your podcasts. I don't even know it on Wednesdays, Eastern time. Yes, perfect. So we're just going to ask you about a few things, rapid fire, for your opinions on things, okay? Probably put my last one. Oh, you're glasses.

Well, we wanna ask a lot of Orange County questions because you obviously know a lot of the Orange County ladies. First of all, what do you think about the season so far? I can't listen, I've always liked Orange County. I mean, it's a little trashy, but I mean, hey, they're all, they don't like getting down the gutter. They're entertaining.

Yeah, they're pretty fun. They're entertaining, so I like it. Okay, so let's just start going through. Kelly Dodd. I love Kelly. Kelly is what, actually, Kelly became a friend of mine. She came to Miami. I don't know why she stayed with me, but it worked out that way. They don't even speak English and they don't even like I get downstairs I've been for myself. I'm lucky if I get like a to go a cup of coffee.

They bring their name to portray, to breakfast for's room, coffee, old eggs, and a wing. Cheers. I'm afraid of suddenly in the uniform. I'm like, man, I help you, ma'am. So Kelly loved it at my house, but I have fun with her. I think sometimes I don't think she does herself a lot of favors on the show. But she does stand out.

Yes. So there. Okay, Bethany Frankall. You know, I know Bethany. Bethany is not warm and fuzzy. She's not warm and fuzzy. She's bottom line, get it done, move on, this and that. And I admire her.

I respect her, you know, her talent, her perseverance, and her success, but she's not warm and fuzzy. Do you think she should have left New York? No. I think what happens is they leave, and then they find Jesus Jesus and then they try to figure out how to come back. Yeah. But how many times are you going to find Jesus? I don't know if Brad D. Frankl's going to find Jesus, but she'll maybe find another brand to promote.

You know what? You know, they're going to realize that there is no other platform bigger than the housewife platform. So for people that want to sell and market products, they really don't need to be leaving the show, but I get that she's kind of been there done that and doesn't need the show. But you know what, it's like, I'm the type of you do for me. I'm going to do 10 times more for you. So if I think that I can help the show,

after you gave me my life, my career, my business, and my fortune, and you need me on that show, I'm going to be there. That's right! And that's not the judge who's going against her. No, I'm just snapping because I just feel like a really gay fabulous thing to do. Yeah, I think that she'll be back also. I think that she just went through like a trauma I mean like you know like her like on and off love of life like he passed away and then had to go on that season and then like it was

hard and I think she just that bitch wanted more money and they said no and then she was like well I'm not showing up direct you give me more money and then she was like I don't believe you and then they didn't do it so she didn't come to work okay yeah and also someone died. The shows are exhausting. They're mentally, emotionally exhausting. They're time consuming. You film formats out of the year. You're doing press a month out of the year.

You're trying to clean up your reputation, your image, your life, and your friends for a month out of the year. It's a total time damn job! Yeah, it's exhausting. When you were on the Real Housewives, did you take notes about what people said and things like that?

You know about me? Yeah, just in general to be like, oh, so when they try to throw this back on my face, I'll know. Like you know what I'm gonna show? Yeah, like Yolanda Foster taught Erica Jane to take notes because you'll forget what's happened and then so when people bring up fights, Erica Jane's like, well I took a note I'll be the hair of the hair of the hair of the hair, but it was February the 12th. You said, love you, baby.

I'm like those girls. I've forgotten more than they'll ever know. So, no notes needed. How do you feel about, I noticed that Marisol Patton is popping up on everyone's Instagram. I don't know that, but I didn't know that. She's a thirst bucket, okay? That's why I've got 19 things up here.

What do you think on Orange County? What do you think about Bronwyn, the new girl? Well, she's an eye opener. I don't know what to think about her, really. I think either she's trying really, really hard or she's really, really way out there. I mean, you guys kids at home when you're talking about threesomes, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I'm the one that was liberal, socially liberal people live with me,

but that was even an eye-opener for being. Well, yeah, beyond just the shock of it, it's like you have so many fucking children. How do you have time for threesomes? Like you have things to do. I barely have time for a one sum. Yeah, I would tamer up. I'd have just been part of her, you know, get attention gig too, but they were making out pretty hot and heavy. I might as well literally kill me if I did that. Let's just start there. Now you know, these girls are going to get divorced.

There's exhibit A. Do you think that Beverly Hills can save itself? Yes, I do. How? How do you think you can save itself? You know, every show has its own personality. And Beverly Hills is exactly what Beverly Hills is. It's a bunch of shallow women that shop all the time, that ride around in Rolls Royces,

that are rich, that's been a lot of money at the plastic surgeons, they don't have a lot to do in their life, and they're just there! And that's what Beverly Hills said! That should be the slogan, they're just there! They're just there! And, and wait, one quick follow-up question. If Bravo said, we want you to be on Beverly Hills, would you do it? Beverly Hills is the only show that really is a fit for me because I live there half the time and so it's kind of a fit for me the others

I definitely wouldn't sit in too Like in New York they would just chew me up. It's been me out and slap me around I mean I What's your final question? I want to see Leon Beverly Hills personally. I'm not saying that just because you're here. I was saying that as a fan, as a fan. I want to see you on this.

I will say this. I have better jewelry than all of them, so they're fat. Yes. Okay, one very final, one very important final question. Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself? man And my opinion Absolutely now he did not yes

Leab Black. Thank you so much for being here check out Everyone stay on Facebook follower on social etc. My CBD all I cream it's fantastic. Thank you etc. For my CBDI cream it's fantastic! Thank you Leo! Thank you! Okay! And we're just gonna keep it going.

We decided, you know what? We'd love this town. Let's keep them here 19 hours to map. Yeah! If you think we're going on to our dial, let 19 hours to now. If you think we're going on to our dial, let's recap right now. No, sorely mistaken. Oh, no. No, no.

We would like to introduce our friend and favorite Captain God damn it, Mr. Captain. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, damn it. It's good to see you. We're just getting started. We're just getting started. You thought that lady on the boat recently, who had her hand all over your ass was something. Oh, yeah. Oh, here. your ass with something. Oh yeah, oh here.

She's not here, is she? Oh, there she's here times a hundred. She's here, yeah, she's multiplied. It's like the multiplicity but starring that lady from Belodak. Captain Lee, welcome back to Watch Your Crappens. Thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you. Oh, it's a man. It has been so fun watching like below a deck

rise over the seasons to now where you are like, you have these ladies ready to throw their bra's at you. That was a hint for someone to throw their bra. What'd you say? They're wearing bra's. So how's it going? Everything's gone well. Yeah. I want to know how you became friends with Miss Patricia of Southern Charm because I see you guys. I see you guys all over each other's socials. See comments on everything you post and so I want to hear that story

because that's a hilarious dinner. Like I want to be at that dinner. We just started texting and tweeting back and forth, you know, and then she DM me and I DM her back and it's just been. Whoa. We're having a good time. Yeah. It's hilarious. I went to Charleston. Uh-huh.

And I went to Charleston. We had a great time. She invited us over to her home. She took us on a historic tour at Charleston for like three hours one day. Oh yeah. And it was just, and Michael. Oh yeah.

Michael is just like an encyclopedia of who's who and Charlie really is. And I mean, he can dish the dirt. Oh, he is. We, Michael is the shady as person on Bravo. No one realized Michael is a shady lady. Shady. Shady. Shady, shady.

He would tell the things and be like, oh, you can say that on your show. And I'm like, oh, no, bitch, I'm not saying that. Are you crazy? You have a death wish for me. I'm not repeating that. And I'm a monster. So we are currently about midway or early

into the current season of Blow Deck in Thailand. Who out by the way, who your loves Blow Deck? Where does this crew rank for you amongst other crews that you've had? Oh, actually, let me back that up. What was your favorite crew you've had over the seasons? Rocky? Rocky, she said. favorite crew you've had over the seasons. Rocky? Rocky, she said.

Yes, somebody's illusion alone. I think this crew is in the top, if they're not in the top spot, they're in the top two without a doubt. They are, I think by far the most attractive crew. Yes, they're hot. Yeah, they're definitely hot. That's the only sense. Yeah. And they seem to possess a decariment of intelligence.

So far. So far, at least for us, we can tell. Yeah. It is early. So the jury's still out on the end. How did everyone not die in that Thailand heat? Because just watching, some of you guys know I was actually in Thailand last week. No!

Cool season. No! So the cool season I was like the temperature out here. So I can't have imagined what it was like during when you guys shop when it was like boiling hot. What? Where's Brandy? Where's Brandy? was like during when you guys shop when I was like boiling hot. What? Where's Brandy?

Where's Brandy? That drunk girl from... Oh, Brandy! No, that's a great question. Who cares about the heat in Thailand? What was the deal with Brandy? You know, that's a very... Thank you.

Thank you for that assist. Yeah, let's fuck very thank you. Thank you for that assist Yeah, let's fuck that the fuck that Thailand heat brandy is a very good question. So what are hard? What was the deal with that? I have no idea what you when you're sitting at the foot of her bed going like God damn it Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, think. Coming, I come over here, little one. Come on. Ha ha ha ha ha. She said on Instagram that she had never used drugs and that she was merely having a panic attack. Don't judge mental health disorders. Well, there are so many segues there that I used

that I just can't wait to know. I mean, like, it's a pig's vagina pork. I mean, it's just drugs. That's actually a very good question. I'm not a vegetarian, I would like to know. Yeah. Is what we saw a brandy on camera better or worse than what it really was? What you saw on camera a brandy was camera better or worse than what it really was

What you saw in camera of brandy was much better than it actually was really wow It was it was very trying and exciting and My words. Yeah, bless her heart Yeah, that's that's what's our southern for fuck you. Yeah, she she worked diligently at whatever the way. Yeah, man. Yeah, she was a lot. She actually know the other people on her charter. It seemed almost like they didn't even know her or like her. Yeah, how do you how do you have a beach picnic with somebody and they get turd off in a kayak in a comatose condition and everybody goes, can I get a selfie? Can I get some more eyes? I'm like, that's very easy to do actually.

I would do it 100%. I'm trying to be a bitch. So it's hard not to ask you questions on what's coming up because I want to know who quits, but you can't tell us, right? But okay, can you tell us, do you at least give one goddamn plane ticket home? There is a plane ticket. Yeah!

Just, I feel like someone just won Plinko. Just someone, does Abby get her hair torn and does she get her hair caught in something? How Abby managed to keep all of her hair through all of this is beyond me. Because she worked over time and getting that shit ripped out. She really did. A lot of hair. She really did. I'm just sitting there and I'm watching the windless payout and all that chain.

And she's just like dangling all over. I got nervous watching it. Now, do you ever watch Do you ever watch below deck med and then see like God? I wish I had that person on my crew Captain Lee we love you we love you thank you so much for coming. Thank you for coming. I love you Running against a goddamn tide go buy it immediately got a captain Lee dot com Captain Lee, thank you so much. All right Yeah, and now welcome to watch our crap and survive cast about all that crap. We just left a talk about on yo

Browns I'm Ronnie that's been and tonight we going to be covering the real housewives of Dallas. Whoa! The literal wedding you might have heard of. The wedding of the century. I just have to start by saying my favorite character in this show right now is that teenage girl who fucking hates her mother. I think she is amazing.

I think that's its child hate on this show is amazing in general. Every child hates their parent. Do you have a work on? Brooklyn? No, I'm talking about... I'm gonna go to Europe for cat for sewing camp and I know you're not gonna pay for it. Mother! And care's like, well I just wanted to talk about my children's lives! I feel like my carry impersonation is starting to turn into my no-no impersonation. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH one of them. It's kind of amazing. And by the way, so I was not on, I was at I was out town last week, so I was not able to comment, but I was I caught up on my dials and oh my god, Mama D is the most evil mom and I love her. I love her. I don't think she's evil at all. I think she's completely right. Get your own goddamn job. You were the president of this company for how long and you didn't know it was tanking. Shut up. Okay. Earn your way.

Pay for your own Lexes. A bionch. That brunch scene last week, I was like, I could just have a whole series based on this brunch right now and I would be happy. So this week's mommy issue set piece is Liam's mother who is late and we don't know if she's coming to the wedding. I was kind of hoping she'd just drive up, stop and wait until people came out and they drive away really fast just like you. Well she got into her car but it didn't go very far. Just was going a little circle

around the floor. Yeah. She was trying to ride the teacup. Yeah. She was stuck in a teacup. Sorry. I regret I can't make it tonight. So we don't know if Leon's mother is coming or not. And that was a big cliffhanger. Leon doing this in her wedding gown. Hmm. Which, by the way, I love it. All last week it was like, I don't care if my mother comes. She's not a real mother.

She didn't raise me. I was raised by a piece of cotton candy. And then all of a sudden, I was like, I don't care about my mother, I don't care about where's my mother. Where is she? Better come. So her mother comes and you know, because Steve's going, her mother came, her mother came, moms in the house, moms in the house. Then we cut to Travis just sitting there in Oh, it's not. I think we cut to Travis just sitting there in a pew.

Yummy. So, you know, memories, like memories, wedding memories. It's memories of Leon and Rich. It was like, you better, you better marry me. Otherwise I'm gonna slicker sweat with a piece broken glass. Rich. Cut your dick off and feed it to you and popcorn. Colonel Colonel all the bridge got in me. This is the most romantic thing I've ever seen So then the preacher is Basically knows what's coming right with Leanne cuz Leanne's some drama

So the mom gets there and she's crying the mom is crying But the preacher basically knows what's coming with Leanne and she's crying, the mom is crying. But the preacher basically knows what's coming with Leanne. And he's like, now, welcome, welcome to church. We will now turn away from the problems of the past. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne.

Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Le Leon, this one, you don't know what I've been through. The priest goes, when you disagree, do it respectfully. I'm like, OK, good luck. It's Leon locking. Probably won't happen. So Rich, let's do the mouse.

OK, we. So now they start their vows, which they start up like, they're like exactly the sort of vows you'd expect from like Leanne and Rich. So Rich is really cute. He's like, Leanne, we have always come from the land of misfit toys and we managed to help fix each other. Well, I fixed you mainly and we keep each other up for the rest of our lives and I promise a love and project and serve you as like a slot officer should and there's no way I'll grow tired of bored with you because you know, being married to you is not being married to life, I've found different people.

I've found very scary different people. You are the cutest fourth wife of anybody I've ever seen. I'd just like to compliment the young lady in the flower dress there who looks like a fucking piece of chocolate when I got my period. I mean, she is gorgeous. Forgot what I was talking about, you would think I'd know these lines better by now, your turn. I then Leanne gets up there, and of course she's the most melodramatic bride of all time. She's like,

when I was a child, I never really felt love, wanted or accepted. I remember getting on to the scrambler and saying, when will someone want me for me? Well, almost hit that wall, but I didn't scrambler. And her mom's just sitting there like, glad I came. This feels great. Thanks for the invite. Okay. I mean, that girl is lucky that was not my mother. Like, my mother would have been throwing bricks at me. Like, she would have gone out and found bricks and be like, fuck you, you spurs little brat. But

Liam's mom is just sitting there like, she's not really saying this right. And Liam's like, and furthermore rich when I look into your eyes. I remember how my mother left me in the little girl. She said I'll be right back and never came back. I ended up in the lipgloss six different dealers. I remember being raised in a trailer that was a little smaller than Brandy's trailer. And it was hard, I thought. is there such a thing as love?

I remember the first time I actually got to drink milk with my cereal. And there was a little girl on the back and it said missing. And I said at least someone cared enough to notice you little bits. And then when I was older and I was starring in a movie with Sandy, you know, look, you know, it's called misconjuity. I thought that's me. She's in the bathroom right now. She's actually here. She's the eye-bottom her. She sent me a lovely invisible gift When will I be someone's miscommunity to the mom has just been kicked in and that's over and over again in these wedding vows Like she's mortified the creatures like repeat after me, okay? Liam

Liam Do you take this man? What's our left as a child? Like Leanne, focus. Yeah, focus on the bells, Leanne. Focus, focus. And then it just cuts the camera and sitting there in the fuse one.

I love celebrating life. I celebrate life. The one thing I celebrate more than life is the taco salad. This is basically a free tail. It's a for-tale. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid,

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder-E-App. Oh. Cameron's like, I have never seen a bride with such a big crown. Stuck back. Oh, the chaw was huge lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun.

That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. Okay, all right, I'll see you at, you know what, I'll see you at, okay, all right, I'll see you at dinner. Okay, fine, there is a dinner, right? Yeah, okay, great.

Mom just made me eat the reception. Drive away, mother, go away, drive away. No, but the mom is sitting there and she's like, well, you know, she's a great kid, a great, dense, respectful kid. I just wish you come to realization that she wasn't on love. She just was unlocked. And the cousin's like, well, that is how she felt. She's like, well, you know, feeling shmelons, you know,

that's not a fact now. So the mom's not really getting it. So she decides to go. Now between this wedding ceremony and the party, there was a five hour break. Yes. Now, the aunt says it's to go fuck her husband. Yes.

I mean, congratulations on fucking your husband, but ain't nobody fucking rich for five hours. Ain't nobody fucking anybody for five hours. Okay, even porn hub, the longest thing you can find is like 22 minutes. Yeah, and like, you know after five minutes, you longest thing you can find is like 22 minutes. Yeah. And like, you know after five minutes, you're already done. Yeah, it's done.

Nobody needs five. I mean, if you need five hours, it's not fucking the whole time. It's like you can set time aside to do the helicopter or whatever, and then you, yeah. It's like five hours of prep, two seconds of like the rest of it, you know? So anyway, nobody's buying it. I don't know why she did it. I don't know why she did it.

She doesn't know why she did it. I'm glad she did it, because we were there. I was happy. I needed a nap after that wedding. And my ass needed to get out of my cheap ass, only suit jacket I could buy. I'm not built for a suit jacket. Look at this.

I've worked hard for this sleeping bag made out of skin. I'm my body, okay? It was hot. I'm not even fat shaming myself I love my jelly, but they just do not build shit like this at poor people stores I went to old I know what the old Navy looking for it. Well, you know, I started at old Navy, but we went to Ross I went to the mens warehouse and they laughed when I said 2 XL

They were like first of all that's not how suits are size. So I was like, all right, so measure me. And even at the men's warehouse, this guy was such a bitch, he was like, he made a mouth sound while he measured going. I missed where else? Where did I get that jacket? I got it like the back of a Marshall's or so, it was so sad, it's like under like gather signs or something. I was like, come on.

So anyway, I was a sausage in this fucking thing. It's Dallas, so it's hot as fuck. Yeah, and I was like, I hate love. I hate love. So I was like, get me out of here, fuck this. I needed five hours. Yeah, I needed, I actually needed that five hours. And I thought it was a great plan.

So I had no problem with it whatsoever. We did get a great invitation. We got a paper invitation. It was paper. And I will say she sent to Texas and said did you get the invitation? She did. And I said yes and she said because a lot of mail gets lost. She did. I swear to you.

30% of mail that comes from me gets lost. That Yeah, we got ours. Yeah, it was a real invitation Yeah, so then we see Leanne and Rich they drive off to some faster place to get chili footlongs and corn dogs Which I really supported and I liked how uncomfortable this all made rich Rich has been on this show for like four seasons and land has been a crazy person for four seasons but he has never been as upset as when she wanted to truly dog in a Rolls Royce. Well he's paying for the Rolls Royce. I mean you can tell that that they did not get donated because she's like I promise okay my dress clean. It's like I don't give a fuck about your free dress. I care about the smell in the Rolls Roy is, we have 30 minutes left in this thing, bitch. This is the first time in

Asia, but probably that someone pretended that they did not just buy a Rolls Royce Gretchen and Slade. Someone's like a Gretchen and Slade sympathize. I was like, no, that's not right. No. So they get to their little, I don't know, like tiny house or whatever, they're celebrating their rooms. Go to rooms. And that's so rude. But it was like a cute little tiny house.

So they arrive at this place and Leanne's like, you look lazy, Rich, because you know, he's exhausted. He's just like been trying to wipe down a Rolls Royce for the past 20 minutes. So like you look lazy, he's like, I'll just married Lee and Larkin. I am not lazy. So she's finally eating her chili dog. This is like a very romantic scene. She's eating her chili dog And then she's like, if I could he reached the way I could eat a three-foot-long chili dog I would have the happiest husband in the world.

Well, it's face is not gonna happen because he doesn't taste like chili. Like you could remedy that, you know, be creative. So let's go to the party five hours later. Oh, the reception. So basically, I put on a shirt that fit and I ate two restaurants worth of Uber Eats. I'm not even lying. So I wasn't hungry. It's the point. That's why I'm giving you this free story because everyone else is like, I'm hungry. Where's the food? And I was like, All right. This is the number one question we've gotten on Twitter for the past two days. Was there food? Everyone knows what I can turn into when I become hungry. Needless to say, I was a little hungry hanged. There was actually a really amazing charcuterie play which you saw there.

I had about 10 cupcakes from this. They had a huge amount of sprinkles cupcakes. I will say this, there was a lot of booze and it was a lot of fun. It was super fun. It was a really fun. It was fun. Okay. So they showed those big piles of food, right?

Yeah. There were like these huge charcuterie trays and they were piled with ham or whatever yeah but they also had nuts and Stephanie's like at least give me a nut they had nuts yes I might have eaten them all by the time fucking Stephanie got over there but hey that's all mine I don't know I ate a lot of nuts and cheese when they arrive carry goes is this a reception? Oh, is it like a new burning man? I'm like, hmm. I've never been to Burning Man, but I'm pretty sure Burning Man does not have like a few views about that too.

It's just like Burning Man. So cool to reach trees. So you've never been to Burning Man, bitch. I don't even know what you're talking about. If you're not bringing a company to Burning Man. Okay, now here's another thing I've been waiting to say. I knew Carrie was an asshole. The second I saw her at this wedding because we had never seen the season obviously it was being shot

and we don't know what's going on, you know, especially now all bitter. I'm like we got drunk last night because we were at the roundup with Leanne the night before getting shit face until the month. Yeah. So I was not in the mood anyway. but this girl, Carrie is the first one. You know how they have that big swing, and there's like an acrobat, because it's a circus theme. It's like a carnival. And she's like, oh, you hate your childhood so much. So you make a carnival.

Oh, welcome to the carnival. I love you, I hate your life. Well, I knew she was a bitch, because I was like, one of these Bingbats is going to try and like make this all about her and climb up on that thing. And she did. Of course she did. And you see Ben down there, talking to Stephanie going like this.

Why don't we just go to our little slideshow then? How about that? What? Hey Donovan, do you think you can fire up our little slideshow situation? Good idea. Let's see. This is us at the roundup. Night before when Leanne's had chews at the roundup till like midnight or whatever, it was with us. All right, so this is recognized the shirt.

Here we are outside the wedding. This is a screenshot from Bravo. This is a big moment for us. So this is Travis, Travis and Stephanie coming in, and it looks like we're talking to them, but we're not. We're standing behind them and laughing. Yeah. This is what Rod and I were doing. We were standing here like this saying, like, oh my god, it's Travis and Stephanie. Oh my god. He's like a fuckable Fred Flintstone. Oh my god. It's a truck. God. I didn't know he was so hot. Is that a wig? Don't I recognize who that is? That's Heidi Dylan from season one Who's she? Heidi Dylan she seemed to carry doober with like a buffet, right? Yeah, she's slept same to Carrie Doober

Steph Mitt Stephanie backrolls the fucking angel is really nice and she loves watchful crap. I just kept telling. I just kept telling Travis, do not fuck this up Travis. Seriously. We're in lockin' with the mimicors.

So as we see later, Leanne's dress is kind of infinity dress. It like turns into all these different things. It was like pants, now it's pants. And now it says comes a veil later. Okay, next. Oh, that's where we were sitting. That's where we were sitting.

For those of you at home, we're just too close. You look close, thanks. You look closely. You can sort of see the blurry image of our heads in the congregation. Okay, so that was fun, everybody. That was the first, that was our first ever slideshow at a crappin show. Also thanks to Leanne for having us, even though we're us, you know, I told her the night before I was like, you know, we're gonna lambast the

shit out of this, right? And she's like, you took it out of it. Yeah. Okay. So thank you. So while we were at this wedding, Deandra and Jeremy were up to some really exciting stuff at home. They were doing like chopped. Well, they were saying it's like chopped. She's like, when we're alone, we not have anything to date with. I could keep cooking competition. So they were having a cooking competition with each other, but it was not like shots. Chopped you get like capoop and glitter and like bread and a can of tuna or something like that. They're like, let's do chopped.

His salmon shrimp and like, at all the spices in the world. And five maids to cook it. Yeah, you know that Mama D was just like seeing a home where their bottle of ketchup being like, I don't see this, I don't see this, my meatloaf, my meatloaf. Cause you know this whole scene was just approved to her mom

that she could cook better than her mom's meatloaf, which she can't because you know that Mama D's meatloaf is a shit. Deandre was like, Jeremy's like, we're bringing donuts into the bedroom. And I was like, no, not less it's cock-ring. I was like, that's kind of funny, but it's also so true, because you know Tandra would do that.

And Dandra is winning me back with her over-eating storyline this year. I'm not going to wait. I love to hold, I've been really enjoying her donut or because she actually just started eating donuts during her professional at this point. I was like, you know what, Deandra? Maybe I am going to start going to Team Deandra.

The more donuts that she has, you know? Yeah, and now she's just stressed eating openly, and I love it. I liked that scene a few episodes ago, where for her 50th birthday, Jeremy got her a box of donuts, and she was eating them furiously, trying her like a box of donuts and she was like eating them furiously trying to find a piece of jewelry hidden side and

there's like no jewelry. There was no jewelry. Here are 50 donuts for the love of my life and we watched that bitch whip through 50 half donuts. That's amazing. Okay so they're basically cooking for each other, which is hilarious because they're juxtaposing this with people going, where's a fucking food at the wedding? Yeah. So then, Leanne and Rich arrive at the reception and there was like a show up and the mom is like,

hi, I just wanna say hi to my ungrateful bitch daughter. Can I say hi to the mom? mom. I'm no, okay? Okay, all right Yeah, man like whatever mother so the mom's following around and the end's like it's my mom So she's like all right come on Phyllis so she takes a picture of her mom and then she goes all right Like precious her side like come on Okay, so they put her in front of the mom and the mom's, all right. Yeah. Like, press your side. It's like, come on, Phil. Oh, OK.

So like, put her in front of the mom and the mom's like, sorry, sorry, excuse me. I'm so glad Rich has taken her off my hand. But it was actually really awkward to watch. Listen, I believe in being mean to your parents. It's my hobby. If I didn't have it, I would have nothing to do with my life. I'm behind you, but this was on TV.

You need to do that shit privately. We're Texans, we do this passive aggressively. You're not openly me, dear mother. You get each other in little ways. But you know what I, but I think the most insulting part is not that she like scuttled her mom off the photo shoot, is that she replaced her mom with a crazy lady.

Did you see that woman? And was like, Phyllis, Phyllis came on, I was like, yeah, I'm a local realtor. It's like no, Phyllis, you work at Carvelle. I know. Phyllis is like, look at it, Victor. Victor. We're acting like you were in the next in line, ready for that photo. So someone tells them on don't forget your goodie bag and check just stick it on my finger. So I can go.

So they do. By the way, I by the way, here's some really inconsequential inside stoop is that they made it seem like Margaret was there took a picture with Leanne just left. She was at the whole night. She was there all night.

She was sitting at a table. I kept on saying I was like, Hey, there's Leanne's mom. She was there all night long. So yeah, cheaters, but they did show her standing by there's Leon's mom. She was there all night long. So yeah cheaters But they did show her standing by the car in the daylight. That was weird. How'd they do that? Standing by a car. Yeah, that she was waiting to leave and it was still daylight, right? Ooh

One of those crazy bravo mysteries. Yeah, she was probably waiting at that champagne truck Because you know there was like a trailer outside probably waiting at that champagne truck because you know there was like a trailer outside that's probably just standing by that fucking truck getting wasted that's why we're in every picture outside. There were two people at that champagne truck it was me and Carrie new Carrie because let me tell you something by the end of the night Carrie was sitting in a chair I'm not no joke and actually you know there was there was a photo about that I thought I'd put it in there, but she was sitting in a chair like this by the end of the night by that champagne trailer like this So much so that I took a picture of her. I didn't even know who she was

She was fucking wasted that's why she was complaining about the food and she's lucky that I'm bravo because she was hammered So then we get another one of my running story lines It is just filling my heart with so much blackness and I'm so grateful for it. This terrible marriage of Kerry and Adolfo. So one of Leon's gays, who by the way are gayer than penis is in butts, like they are so gay, like they are so fabulously gay. The gay, right?

Like they can show them twirling in front of the cake. And I was like, yes, badge. They all had makeup running down their face because it was real hot, but they stuck to it, you know. It's like you're not my kind of gay, but we're in the same family. So from my Honda Civic to your Honda Passport Huds. I remember.

But anyway, Carrie, the gay is like, you're the good girl, you're the good. And she's like, oh, look, oh, well, Eduardo could maybe tell me that sometimes. Oh, Eduardo's like, have I told you the story about my mom who walks? Oh, yes, she can't get enough of that being told she looks good. So then we catch Rich talking to one of the security guards and the security guards, well, like, welcome to your wedding. How romantic.

And he's like, yep, God, that girl's fucking hot over there. What is this a sausage fact? It's like hot peace after a hot peace, like a smith and western factory peace. Honestly, so many good-looking girls. Nice work, Rich. Yeah. So now we go back to the big cooking competition that no one seems to care about, but it's still happening anyway.

So Deandra and Jeremy are cooking. Deandra drops her phone into like an olive oil marinade Which I thought was so deeply upsetting Because I treat my phone like a baby and be if we were to ever fall into an olive oil marinade that shit is going on She just like puts it back into her pocket girl. She got $200 in her account. We all know that So she goes mother when we do cooking competitions, it keeps our mind off the business and how to save the company. I was like, yeah, that's why you should not be doing cooking competitions. I'd be thinking about how to save the business

and the company. I'm so sick of thinking about how to save this business as gone. Thanks a lot, Jeremy. So she, Jeremy is a good husband. I mean he spends the money that she brings in. That's good. So there's no waste. And he lets her, I mean I'm sorry, but really when you marry a hot person and then they turn into Al Gore, it's time to get a job. Like you don't get, also that's not part of the deal sir. Also if you've just been laid off from that company and then you're watching your old boss make like do a competition with soft shell crabs in our kitchen. What was that girl's name that we used to love talking about that worked for her like Lorraine or something? I'm really. You were going to the top of that cliff and Alaska to find L 22 Lorraine.

Meanwhile, it's just been the excess money buying double the amount of soft shell crabs in Sydney. It's such you have a fake chopped competition with her husband in the right. Meanwhile, she's spending excess money buying double the amount of soft solid gravity and she needs so she can have a fake chopped competition with her husband in the kitchen. So he keeps letting her win, of course. And she actually eats it. I give props to Dan, right? I think she's having a much better season and Leanne will not let her in any scene.

And that's just not what you do, Leanne. You have got to let your enemy in the door. Otherwise, you're just like sitting there being nice to bitches. And nobody watching that. Yeah, and then we're stuck watching a soft shell crab prep competition. But yeah, so they eat, I don't care. Okay, Carrie and Cameron, you're talking. And Carrie's like, this is not food! No!

No, don't do that! What do you want to do, give me some ham? And then cameras like, yeah, they ran out of water, so you have to go to the bathroom to fill up your stolly disco cup. If you're going to have a party after 7pm, you are required to serve a meal. Okay? Otherwise, you're trash.

Trash. It's really a thrill. You know, we were actually so over-simulated when we were there that watching it again on TV, there were so many things that I feel like we missed. Like for me, watching Cameron Dance, which is like I feel like I saw it. Every mom dancing in America, it was like She did. It's just basically one long judgmental head nod. Like Don't let these long sleeves fool you. I got moves. And she was also in the front row the entire time.

Like the band is right there and they're like, heard less like 10 times, you know. And she was always there right in front. Like I am the best friend of anybody in this group. So I'm gonna stand right here and step down until I die. So finally we were like, hey, I was just hiding in the back, you know, it's like with Heidi Dillum, like talking shit. And Ben just hiding in the back. You know, it's like with Heidi Dillon, like talking shit.

And Ben was like making the rest. This is my moment. I was like, I fully turned into like, Luan. Hello, welcome to my cabaret. My cabaret sponsored by Leanne's wedding. Hello. Ben worked it. I was like, fuck these people.

I'm terrified of everybody here. I'm talking to Heidi Dillon behind that column. You know, we're like, who? No, this is the worst person here. You start Ronnie at the wedding was like Ronnie at the airport gate because like two days ago when we left out of LAX we're standing together next to each other at the gate at the airport and They call our boarding group is like main one and I was like Pugh and I turn around and Ronnie is like

45 feet behind me going, just, pooo! Like, I don't want to be with all those people. Yeah, because you're not on Southwest. They're like, okay, boarding group one, stand in line, and you have a little number. That is terrifying, okay? And someone always trying to cheat. They're standing in front of me,

but you're like, what do I say? I'm 33, I know that there are 34, because there's only two people in front of me. And she looks like, what do I say? I'm 33. I know that there are 34 because there's only two people in front of me She looks like the liar. I turn into Cameron Westcott in the Southwest line. I'm like, um, I'm a 31 I just think it's like really rude for you to get into my face and say effing But I'm gonna do on and you're a 33. I'm passive aggressive. I start waving around my boarding pass like, hmm. Hmm. Am I in the right place in line?

I'm number 33. Anyone, I'm so stupid. So anyway, camera's standing there doing her crazy dance. And we're like, we have to talk to camera. We have to. That's one person I have to. I don't care about anybody else, but I have to say hi to camera so we go up and I'm like because Heidi Dylan was great we're like hey we're from watch what crappens and you probably don't know what that is she's like that is art

that's our kind of bitch so she filled us with confidence right so I was like we have to go talk to Cameron surely Cameron well I forgot a bunch of people from our Facebook group. When Cameron came out with her Sparkle Dog, Dog Food, Sparkle Dog, went on her Amazon reviews and were like, trashing it, but they were also saying like quotes from our show. Like, so I wasn't thinking of this at the time. So we go out to her and we're like, hi, I'm Ronnie and that's been it. We're from Watch Your Crafts. You probably don't know what it is. She's oh. You guys are so funny. I've heard of that. I've heard of that. You're so funny. She just stood there nodding at us and I was like working a dime like we need to just go like let's just go

But oh boards a board and it's like can we get a picture? You know like pulls out that yeah, oh, yeah It's camera west god literally pose for the picture like this Yeah Or was three sort of like Scootering around you know courts literally adorable. He's like a pound puppy. You always looks like you just got about a bed because his hair in the back goes like this, you know? Like mine actually.

Plus this heart. Short guys get a bad rap. Just someone go out there and fuck a short guy tonight. Why are people so mean to short guys? Stopping dicks. Okay, so beef taco. Okay, oh, so Liam's like, it's the happiest day of my life.

And I was like, now it's the happiest day of my life because we get to immerse ourselves in Brandy's terrible marriage. Yes. Rub it on me. So you may have noticed Brandy was not at the wedding because she got a text invite a week before and was going to the NFL draft in Nashville.

So she and Brian are at this restaurant and it's just the two of them with baby Bruin. And I thought like, okay, well, this is sort of nice for her because she gets a break from her daughters who are just like terrorizing her this season. You know, it's like, at least she's just like baby Bruin, who's innocent.

Baby Bruin, I don't know how a baby can make that much of a mess. I've never seen anything like that. But Brandy sets herself up for shit like this, you know what I mean? And I hate to mom shame because Lord knows I've only been pregnant a couple of times And it was resolved in the morning once I took like some medication to get that burrito out of me So I know that I don't get it and I'm not judging from that kind of place, but I do have nieces and I know that you don't say, hi, can I have some rice and beans and an otaku? Could I have some food that's like easily throwable? Thank you. Yeah. Could

you just give me a pile of greasy shit that my baby can throw all over your restaurant, please? Yeah. That's what a baby gonna do. Yeah. You give a baby a taco. What do you think the fucking baby's gonna do? It's gonna throw it at you stupid. Maybe it's not even what they're doing. Like, they poop on themselves.

Get the baby in an anvil. Be like, but you know what? It's all they did. It's like throwing it on the ground. It's like Gallagher up here. But by the way, but we do have to really applaud, Bruin, because you really picked up the mantle from Vicki's grandkids, because there was a balloon

in the corner of the restaurant. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is the greatest romance of our time. Yeah, he's keeping that Bravo baby ball obsession going, baby, don't throw ball in house goko. Don't throw ball in house. So let's see. So Brandy's like, I have no regrets missing Leon's wedding. How was it with my husband? I had sex. We saw sports, we were so phone, we were having a baby. It's like low guttural sobs coming from Brad B. So yeah, and she walked in this restaurant and Brian sitting there at the table and he's

like, why didn't you take him to daycare? But why didn't you? I'm paying for fucking daycare and you bring this little brat on our date, okay? I'm paying like thousands of dollars a month not to get a taco thrown at my head for one fucking hour woman. So there is ostensibly something going on in this scene because brand so basically Bruins biological mother is having other babies so brand is thinking about maybe adopting the babies. They're debating that, but all I'm focusing on is all the rice. It's like, it's like literally a second wedding. It's like literally so much rice is being thrown at Brandy right now.

And she's wondering about how to discipline her kids. This is when to start. This is when it starts. Don't wait until she's 10. This is when it starts. And this gave me the best idea, like even though I'm not a parent I'm trying to have a parenting podcast because like I'm into it now like I'm deep into it Okay, so in Texas I've been spending a lot of time in Texas and there's bugs everywhere

There's huge bugs little bugs bugs that can kill you bugs that just hang out with all kinds of bugs kill them all Kill them all Okay, so we have the I'm sure they have them everywhere, but I first saw them here. They look like tennis racquets. Do you know what I'm talking about? They're like those tennis racquets, no. Oh, it's like this and it like slices the bugs in half. No, if that's amazing, they have that.

Right, aren't those things the same? Ninja cut, you're like, no. It's like tennis racquet and like, no, it's, no. I want that. Florida know about this shit. Actually, you just changed my life But for this for this one There tennis rackets that you plug in and they shock the shit out of something they they electrocute it

Okay, it's like the death penalty for bugs Put that shit right in front of that taco, okay Electronic in front of that taco, okay? It'll electronic. That's right. Taco. Taco. Taco. Taco. You'll get that taco when I tell you to get that taco.

Do you understand this is not a toy? Brewing. So anyway, so Brandy feels like she, it would be the right thing to do to maybe adopt Bruins biological sibling. So the way she's going to convince Brian is she's like, I just have to show Brian that I can handle it all and I'm never going to complain and like everything will be fine. I can handle it all. Or he could help out with a baby.

He's busy earning a match in saliva, okay? As far as I'm concerned, you can't just say, it's like, isn't this the dog argument like when you're a little kid and you're like, I want that dog. I'm not taking care of your fucking dog, Ronnie. But I wanted to walk him every day and I'll do everything that I need to.

And I can have, like, know you well. And sure enough, you don't do a fucking thing. And he's like, but look at the floor, Brandy. There's tacos all over the floor right now. Okay, there's tacos everywhere. And she's like, I'll clean it up just like I always do. It was like a termite mound of rice. Yeah. Do you have a dustbuster in your pocket? You're not cleaning that up as some fucking Mexican chilies. Who are you kidding? Sure she cleans it up every time. I'm sorry, but I'm a waiter and no. We just say no. I say, your baby is so cute.

It's going to look adorable outside. I'm going to put your baby on that parking meter. Okay. Oh, pay for it. Welcome to our podcast. Two gay guys, give me advice on about parenting. I have no advice on parenting. Beat your children, shock your children, keep your children away from tacos if I'm in the room. Yeah. Look how we turned out. I mean, well, I'm going

to go home and my nieces are going to be like, bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop. Pushing me into face throwing shit in my suitcase, I'm going to go home and my nieces are going to be like Bunching me in the face throwing shit in my suitcase. I'm going to be like they're adorable It's different when they use darling So then after this scene we then have like one of those like montage things We're like look at all the wacky things that's happening up and downless, you know, and everyone's doing something It's like like rich and lian or talking about gambling on a website or something and then like Cameron and her mother-in-law are like destroying a cake. And then it just keeps on cutting to Stephanie, like, on her bed by a pillow going, Travis.

Travis? Travis? Travis? Wacky times of dollars, Wacky times fun, time shopping, eating. Travis, Travis? Travis? Travis? Travis?

Like, why is Stephanie in a haunted house? What happens? eating Travis Why is Stephanie in a haunted house? What what happens? Some people are too rich. This house is in Texas or big and everything's made out of marble It's just like no one's ever with you even if 20 people are home like Travis I'm scared to get off the bed. Travis. And he's like a football field away in a hot tub. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's probably been. We also got to see more importantly, momadie pushing around her dog and a stroller, which is the most momadie thing ever. Finally, a daughter who cares about me. And it was like, that's not how you exercise mother. Hey, maybe the dogs should walk. You know that dog is the CFO of the company by the way So Stephanie finally finds Travis who's in the next room and they talk about

How they're gonna have a big 50th birthday party for him and she's like then his team is gonna be head-life crisis for him. And she's like, then his team is going to be bed life crisis. Like he bought a house with a pool in the living room. You've already had that fame. Okay. Travis wants to have this big 50th birthday party. And he wants Stephanie to DM John legend to sing. And she's like, um, I don't know John legend. So what offer Kim's daughter to give him a blowjob, maybe it oh so what

How do you say that about real real I love Kim's OCX Twitter. I'm or Instagram only because She has his crazy coat of pen and post where like real will be out for like two hours And she missin' my daughter right now. Have you ever seen someone as beautiful as Briel Beerman? I don't think so, Miss you baby. Can't wait to get home in 35 minutes. I'm like, yeah. Okay, so Travis is talking about his dad being in Thailand

because he goes off his medications. And we all know that this is Travis fucking people all over the things. I'm like, sorry, I gotta go help my dad. Yeah. But then he does something shocking to derail my conspiracy, which is invite Stephanie to go. Yeah. Yeah, basically, he's gonna go back to Thailand to find his dad and he invites Stephanie to go and Stephanie is like, well, I mean, if you're going to be working in Thailand, then I want to bring some friends.

So essentially, it's kind of like the excuse for the cast trip. So she's going to invite everyone, including Cameron, who's in like sort of like this weird beef right now. And she's like, you know, it's weird because like, you know, like two weeks ago, Cameron and I were getting along really well. And they keep showing that flashback of them getting along well, of them like working out and Cameron being like,

mm, my mother said, beauty's pain, dumb blondes, do squats, smart blondes, do everything. Now it's also my workout of the day, by the way, thank you. Now, these shows, when we do live shows, there's like some curse that the last scene is the most depressing thing ever. And you guys just made it through a no-food wedding carry on a swing Brandy's kids throwing tacos and beans on the floor and this is the most depressing thing we should also mention Stephanie learning what a tie ping-pong

show is which is yeah watching her eyes be like I Travis is like so there's like a ping-pong ball but they shoot it out of there, you know, she's like, what the man? They shoot after who, uh-huh, uh-huh. Lower. There. The press. Lower. You're best friends with the Dallas cheerleader.

Stop acting like you just fell off the turn of track. So this last scene at first seems very low energy and depressing. But just remember, we're watching the beginning of the end of a terrible marriage. Yes. And it really does warm my heart. Not because I want people's marriages to fail. I just want Carious marriage to fail. She's not a nice person, OK?

Listen, if you're going to ride that train for money, be nice to the train. You can't just start abusing the rich person before your jewelry line. Oh, my jewelry line. Well, once I get my jewelry line running, everything will change. So at Wardo and Carrie go out to dinner and it's it's awkward because they don't think they actually I don't think they've ever met each other before. By the way, before shooting. I think they were given, it's like a murder mystery. They were given like an index card about who each of them are and what they know about each other.

And all they know is that they once went to Bangkok. Okay. So Carrie and her husband obviously hate each other, but he's like, oh, God, I married her. Now what do I do? And he has a pre-nut, but it's still, it's still really hard. Even if you're renting and you get another apartment to rent, there's so much shit to clean. You know what I mean? Anyway, so the two of them, the two of them are sitting at a table, they're sitting at a table, and they don't know what to talk.

They literally don't know what to talk about. So, Kerry's like, oh, I'm excited. Remember, we went to Bangkok. We went to Bangkok at no good time. He's like, so Carrey is Pay, Carrey's just gets a call from Stephanie is calling everybody like, well, do you want to go to China? Possibly we'll find Travis's father who's not taking his heart medications. He might die. You want to come? To set some fun, but I don't even know what's wrong with him. He might have our blood pressure We really don't know probably gonna be dead in the street with him, he might have high blood pressure. We really don't know. Probably gonna be dead in the street. Girl, I haven't been to Thailand in so long. You're gonna have to help me, Pa.

The last time I went to Thailand, I had a Pad Thai salad. And it was so good that we came back and just had nothing but Pad Thai. Cool. Cool. So she gets a concert. Oh my God, Thailand, I've been to Thailand before. I've Thailand. You know what they're going to have in Thailand food, probably, in like the stupid wedding that beats you out right now.

I'm going to go, Eduardo, look, I'm going to Thailand. He's like, great, great. How much does that fucking get a cost for me, you know? So I just bought a new universal remote. So he's like, he goes, that's a nice trip. She's, who is jealous because he's a decent nice trip. Like that, I know it's so's, who is jealous because he's a dozen, I'm not tripped like that. I know it's so jealous.

Are you jealous of right off? Oh my god. This is going to be hideous. So then she's like, she's like, oh, so I'm doing a photo shoot with Olivia. We're not going to shoot. And he's like, yeah, so going back to Bangkok, you should definitely visit that.

I don't know. It was a Buddha. Yeah, go there, go there. Yeah. I don't want to see a Langtang Buddha. Okay. So he hates her. So every time she says something, he tries to change the subject, but then she gets mad that he's changing the subject. And it's so good. But he also changed the subject into like boring shit. Well, listening to Carrie Bragg about a fucking trip to Thailand isn't very fun for him either, I'm sure. Look at him on Edward side.

I've been on Edward side and Brian side tonight. I'm done, I'm sorry, I apologize. I don't even know who I am anymore. So she's like, have you seen my new earrings? Have you seen them? He's like, have you seen my new earrings? Have you seen them? He's like, yeah, yeah, they're, they're great. You made those, you just made those. Oh, you just made some more earrings. Look at that, my man. It's on the year. By the way, so I make fun. I've been making fun of this like story. And I'm like, Oh, what's my hearing business takes off.

I've been making fun of this like story line like oh what's my eating business takes off? Guess what my mother's starting a jewelry company. Oh really? See what with her friend on some cruise and found like some pearls from some dealer You know, she's like I'm starting a mother fucking pearl company. You're gonna talk about it on your show, right? It's like yeah, mom. There it is. We're gonna sell millions of pearls. So this is hitting home, because she keeps going, but my earrings! And they're forever 21 long earrings with a couple of pearls taped on to them. So Eduardo's like, okay, I can outbore and carry.

He's like, well, my mom is in Spain right now and she's been walking. 25 kilometers a day okay today what's today yeah today's Thursday she started on Monday Monday so I think that means she's been walking for four days she doesn't matter stupid, okay? Listen. I don't care what your mother is doing is stupid So sick, what are you doing? I'm talking about my business. It's important to me. You're talking about your mother walking Sometimes I don't care walking to a dead stupid So he's like well if you're gonna be like that you kind of killed the mood Oh, I also have to say something because I love when they talk to the waiters

So they're at a Mexican restaurant their Mexican're Mexican. I was going to say this and I was like, this is so good. Yeah, why not? So the waiter comes up and he's like, what would you like? And then the partner goes, flutes. I was like, you know, as we call them and that's what we call them in Mexico. Maybe you say, flout us. I'm like, you're in a fucking Mexican restaurant. You're airing at tool. Okay. They know what a flauta is. But do they know that his mom walked somewhere? He's not a good communicator. I was like, was it the flute thing? So then she gets mad. I said, well, look, you go on and on and on about mommy, what mommy, what can I do? I'm doing. And he's like babe, we're having a nice dinner here.

And we're gonna talk about many things. I've been very supportive of your jewelry line, meaning I get to pay power receipts, bitch. Yeah. So when you started your business, you talk about it, not stop business, bitch. That business is paying for 19 of your children. And your house is Andrew cars.

Andrew, did you see the early season cast trip? That was his house. That was his house. So can I ask because basically now she just keeps going, but when my jewelry business takes on. I know I just like probably poised into the crowd, but how do you guys feel about Carrie? Yay or nay?

Yay. Okay. Nay. Really? How it was just me. I don't know. You know, I haven't liked her since that swing and here's why. We saw on that swing, yes, Cameron and Carrie were both also up on the swing to be fair, right?

It's not where did you get this adorable little guy? It's a midge So yeah, so on that swing so Cameron and Carrie both got on the swing I'm used to their thirst because they've been on the show for a long time But the new Carrie got on that swing like, woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I walked away. I was like fuck her. Fuck that thirsty bitch on a swing. I'm going over there to judge you about the champagne truck. I mean, I just can't respect a woman who doesn't want to hear about her husband's mom walking somewhere. Respect her mother's walk a molly is him. That brings us to the end of real house. Thank you guys so much. What a crazy show. We love you. If you don't know, you can welcome the lonely fact.

Get back! Get back! Every day is a parade, don't keep it trying to shake. Back it's the dogs, but if they spoke it's bad. I pulled it all, because when I played, I picked out people like Steve Kutzen said, I'm the man, asking lots of questions, I answered everyone. Get back! Get back! Get back! Get back! Get back! Hey, guys! People like Steve Thompson said, I'm the man. That's me not the question. I answered everyone! Hey, Pat! Hey, Pat!

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