Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Declaration of Sparklependence

Episode Date: October 25, 2017

It’s a Sparkle Launch Party on Real Housewives of Dallas this week, so get ready for prettier dog poop to come from your best furry friend! Also, this week’s bonus episode is all about Stranger Things, Little Shop of Horrors, and fonts. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramped, cramp Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Cindy Burgess Gerson was an amazing person Jason our gay son Andrews just saying okay Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high Christy Dowry the OG Prem supreme and our super duper premium sponsor Kelly Grant the most gorgeous girl in Texas We love you Hello, and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap

We love to talk about on yield broves. I'm Ronnie Kerr from the Roseprix bachelor podcast And here I am with my gorgeous little friend Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog and the Banta Blinda Hello Bean. Hello darling. How are you? Good. How are you doing? I am I'm feeling fantastic. Totally fantastic because at long last we no longer need to chill our San Francisco show because it's sold out. Yes. So's sold out Yeah Well there. Thank you guys so much for selling that out. We will see you next week Sukkho's yes, yes next week Days, no days, no days. Hopefully we will have our new dates ready to announce by the time we get back Yeah, and you know the promises will see we'll. We'll see what we're at. What can we say?

Good. So excited. I know it's going to be great. 2008, it'll be super fun. But for right now, let's just focus on San Francisco and having a great time. I'm meeting everyone up there. And we, there's will have to do an after party.

It'll be just, it'll be great. Kai. Kai? We're all going to have so much fun together. Kai. So much fun. And don't forget that we will be recapping next week's real house Has a New Jersey at the Saturday show

Jaws so if you need to catch up on anything it's gonna be that one classic match Yeah, you know, it's classic. It's very good time there was we'd be very funny and you know what? Joan Rivers will be so proud. You know cuz I need Joan Rivers very well very very well I boy with a Joan. I'm more of a Joan. I'm more of a Joan. You know, it's funny. It's funny. I'm so, it's classic match, classic match.

Well today, March is in hibernation, just waiting, waiting for another recap. But today we're lucky enough to be sparkling, you know, to great data announce a sold-out show because it's the day of the Spacodog food premiere. Yeah, or launch, yes. It's the launch on Real Housewives of Dallas, which is what we're recapping the penultimate episode of the season before the reunions kick in. So sad that this season is coming to an end. I know, but back in the day, the housewives were like 13 episodes.

They weren't 20-something episodes with a whole month of reunion celebrations slash torture, you know wives housewives torture Which we didn't get a single filler episode this season there's no filler episode They were all up to some shit every single episode. Yeah, but it's risky, you know They can't just have everything be 13 episodes or they'd have 19 million cities. There's already so many cities. Yeah. Well, one of my neighbors yesterday actually asked me, there's a real housewives of Dallas. And I was like, hello, what kind of brother fan are you?

Loser. Yeah. You know, people are so obnoxious when they say things like that all the time. It's like they do about survivor to that show still on, you know, it's like, I don't say that about your prestige drama on AMC or on Showtime. When you say, oh my god, you just have to watch shameless. It's the best show. I don't say, oh, that show is still on. I'm like, oh, cool. I'm glad you like it. Don't do that to me. I got a dream last night by the... Oh, oh, I'm not going to say it because someone said, we don't care about your dreams

I care about your dream actually I have to I actually have to say last night I had a nightmare that I was being like chased by Shalom. I mean what the fuck kind of dream is that I Had a dream that Jill Soloway was in a feud with Lena Dunham and she was like Trashing her through sketch comedy on because I'm was untransparent, it was very strange. I think that is odd. I mentioned that only because we're talking about prestige dramas. Or comedy, I guess. Which leads you to Jill Soloway.

In my dreams. Yeah, Jill Soloway. In my dreams. So this episode is all about Sparkle Dog Food. It's all about Jill Soloway. Oh, wait, sorry. I know, I had it in it. I was like, don't be afraid for a round, Ronnie.

It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Do you not be afraid of solo or Jill's all the way? Or Lena Dunham, all perfectly scary people in their own right. What would they all think? I mean, in Shalom, we don't, I don't care about them, him.

But what do we think Lena Dunham and Jill's Holloway think about the real housewives surely they've sent some like written some tweets about it or or an essay a well-ordered essay somewhere yeah well surely there's some Lena Dunham somewhere there's gotta be yeah I bet Jill's Holloway probably hates it yeah probably she's always having to compete. Well, wasn't going to go down that path. I just sort of assumed since she doesn't like gender pronouns in the writers room, right? So I kind of feel like everything about the real housewives.

Wait, wait, wait, we confirm who confirms. Who's Jill Soloway? Is she the lady from the show on Bravo? That's Jill Zaren. No, the lady from the sick, the wacky sitcom, where she's playing a lady who hasn't eaten. She loves to eat all the time, but she's really skinny. That's Jill Carg. Jill Soloway is the creator of Transparent.

Oh, LOL LOL because this old time I was like the lady from that show on bravo fighting with Lena Dunham that is a crazy dream oh I see this is American comedian playwright writer and director yeah I'll play about who identifies as non-binary and prefers singular they pronouns one the best director award at Sundance. Oh wow, sorry Jill, saw it away. Yeah, she probably hates you down. Well, it's okay.

You know, I'll tell you, I'm fine with that. Pick your haters. If only we lived in a world where you could just pick your haters, guys, but we don't. I think that she would like us because I feel like this podcast is nothing if not transparent. Good Lord. Speaking of speaking of exciting things like that.

Let's go on to Real House of Dallas. Honey, what do you call a pig that plays basketball? A ball basket. A ball hog. I don't get it either. Stephanie's at home with her kid. Yeah, I was like, I wasn't really paying attention. And it's like, we, you don't get that joke. And you told it. I don't get it either. Yeah. So Stephanie is with cruiser because he's got dyslexia and she's working working with him. Nicole the tutor comes through. Nicole is like a long-last Jackson. I mean I feel like I was getting a lot of Jenna Jackson from her. Was that just me? Am I just crazy? I think she's Indian though. Doesn't matter. Jackson, Jackson cuts

across all races. Why would you bring up the race Ronnie? Why would you bring up the race? Because I mean, I think she's Indian. I don't know. There was really no deep reason. I think that we shot Shaw's, Shaw's reunion. I know, but we started with Jill Salowace and now I'm all paranoid. I'm like, oh God, because Jill Salow is actually listening. Yes, I'm like watching by watching my pronouns now. Well, they came in to teach Chris the non binary tutor came in. Non binary Jackson sibling. Arrive them about their letters.

So they're reading a book about carnivores and he's like, I want to have a lots of laughter. And she's like, it'll be mommy. Do you want it to eat mommy? And he's like, yeah. I'm kind of behind Cruz. He's really cute. I think you guys do need to take him into get those chicken pox taken care of. I mean, he's got chicken pox.

What is it? It's just like permanent fruit punch stains on his cheeks. I was like, he was like si he was sipping through like a, like a sippy, like it wasn't a sippy box, was like a pouch, you know, thing. And I was like, he's sipping through his trot. How does he have fruit punch stains on his cheeks? Where did this come from?

Whoa, whoa. This one I'm not having kids, because that's what kids are. It's like non-stop fruit punch stains on their cheeks all the time. And I don't like that. As a kid, I was like, not about that. How many housewives have we seen stabbing themselves with straw because they can't feel their lips anymore to guide towards the straw? Like, we've seen it so many times with

housewives going down to get a straw and then poking themselves in the face. So many stuff like that. Is there anything more humiliating when you're like in mixed company and you've got like a cocktail in your hand with a straw and you like reach down to sit from the straw on the straws has like glided across the other side of the glass. So you're then your tongue is just like darting down and you're like, yeah, it's very like gollum. I've been trying to like I just ran to wrangle in the straw instead of like, you know, like, wow, my eye. Yeah, it's very cruise today. So I'm glad that you said that because I just thought chicken pox was like, okay, we're going from flesh eating bacteria to chicken pox.

Like what is going on? Yeah, it's just standard little boy messiness. That just can never be wiped away because it just it just comes back immediately. Well, to get him to concentrate, it's definitely like, you know, you have to make everything your game. Like, so they're taking all tiny pieces of treats to give to biscuit He's basically getting fatter and fatter because every time he guesses something in the alphabet right He gets to give a treat. I mean there's a lot of letters in the alphabet Yeah, that's a dog that dog's gonna get fat Cruises headed for straight A's but biscuit is headed for canine obesity Canine obesity joke

Who do you think you are us huh? So we then go over to Cameron who has like probably my favorite line of the night because it's so cold I can't believe I'm wearing a fur over a fur And her mom's like God how did I raise you her mom's like, God, how did I raise you? Her mom's like really good natured and in a fur too, but her mom does have that look on her face. You guys are really taking my child seriously. How is this even happening?

You know that mom, that's not her mom's coat. You know she made her mom wear that. Her mom's like, you know, that mom wants to be in a barn coat right now. They really, I'll leave the LL being at home home her mom looked to me just like Rosanne's mom on the sitcom Rosanne Looks just like her that's such a good call. Well, she has that what that like haircut that moms have where it's like a long bob You know, it's like it's it's like a long bob, you know, it's like it's like a big triangle haircut, right? Yeah.

Where it's like little some bangs in the front and then it comes way down and then it cuts in. Yeah, she was like, who wears fur, you know. It's like a gum drop. Jackie's mom, baby. So she's like, my mom, my mom, I think Sparkle Dog is a little silly, but she also knows I have a track record

of being successful. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, we should mention that they are at a restaurant where she's gonna throw the camera once and throw the launch party for Sparkle Dog, Sparkle Dog, pet food. So she cameras like, when I was seven, my parents were doing

beach towels and like they were in the textile business. And so I designed a pink and white beach towel and don't take it seriously. But then actually Neiman Marcus want to Yeah. The textile industry is nothing. Neiman Marcus is everything. Mm-hmm. Jumped towels, wipe up stuff, smart towels, wipe up everything. We're not gonna have a red carpet. We're gonna have a pink carpet. We'll have a logo right here. And she like moves her head up and down with her hand.

Like she's like, kneeling to some God. And I was like, how big is this logo going to be? And then later when we saw the logo, I'm like, they actually listened to her. No wonder her mom is shocked. She's like, Jackie Roseanne, how did you get people to make such a big logo? Dumb blondes step and repeat. Smart blondes step and everything. I want people to walk in and feel the sparkles. So she's can be handing them drugs. I get it. Where was Lisa Vanderpump? I'm surprised Lisa Vanderpump did not send a season deceased. Season deceased. Season resist darling.

About that pink carpet. Seize, resist. And if you don't, you'll resist darling. I'm sorry for manipulating you and resisting darling. I'm not surprised that you brought up Lisa not only because of little dogs and not only because of pink but also because they're literally using the Vanderpump themes for everything camera now Yes, yes, I have Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. You know, it does. It's good company to be in Cameron. You're barking up the correct tree. Pun intended. You're barking up the correct tree. Pun intended. You know, at least if they're going to use some stock music

that wasn't written for you in the first place, it's the Vanderpump thing. That's good. So Cameron's talking and she's planning it and we hear her say, and of course, we're doing the dog psychic at which point I started to laugh. Not thinking that this was actually to come back as a plot point.

And the lady's like like do they do humans? And camera goes I know rice. So down to it comes then she's like, hey, I'm worth pink in your honor. Hard day good night. That one's saying anyway. I don't know her laugh. Everyone has such a distinctive laugh on this show. I know.

So Deandra comes in all smiles. She's like, oh, look at this operation without a mother who's just being reading down your neck, like a drag on fire, gonna just burn you to the criss, it's just a simple thing with dog food. Isn't that nice? Look at this month, it's just the same thing. She got a face full of normal face. That's why I like. So, do you have your own Jackie that's trying to

ruin your life while watching this pretending to help you so she can still be your mother's favorite? Where's she? Is there L22 in this dog food? That is my favorite ingredient and my favorite number. Okay. And so it's not so algae. Okay. You are so so sorry. It's not snow-housing. Oh no, I didn't have any else to say. Oh It's your mom your mom is so pretty. She come to the party and the mom's like, um, I'm busy I need to tend to I'm like wow spooky We mustn't leave the estate Untended to overnight

So Cameron is worried that they might not have the products for the lunch party because they didn't get the product. Okay, Deandra calm down calm down. She literally barked at Cameron. And he did. She started. She was like, we do not can't so it's being worked on in a business level. That is what we say is a train. Okay, even if there's some bimbo Tied to the tracks by some villain you run the skankover and you get the bunch of you need for a new office Television, you understand Whoa, I can tell you make it like my mother's wig Like whoa go down, but that's actually I'm gonna buy the shoulders slapping her

Thank it. Thank it But oh, go down. But that's a history. Everybody the shoulders slapping her. Thank it, thank it. If that's red, you tell them it's pink. You tell them it's pink until all I say is pink. Okay, you just, you just align in here. You give them in some colored like some, some, some, some past stuff or Easter eggs. You do whatever you have to do, Cameron.

So last night I came home after Bueller's night walk. That's all I do, everything's saved my life. And you know, he's very proud because he just pooped, which means he gets a treat. So I reached into my milk, milk bone things, milk bones, yeah. So this is like the cheapest thing you can get at Target. It's like the cheapest treat ever. There's pink things in there.

I mean, rich people don't shop at Target. They don't know that there's already pink things out there. All you guys had to do was walk to the milkbone aisle. Okay. Well, I think that Cameron's vision was that she wanted something to be stunningly pink, like an Easter M&M, you know, well, not stunning, but just like more bubblegummy. Yeah, pastel or bubblegummy. But we'll get back to the pinkness of this thing. But we do have a flashback of her opening up the test kibble,

and it's all like this, like, it just looks like bloody shit. It's like, oh no, there's blood in my shit, and it's actually kibble. Delicious. So, Carrie and Stephanie are next, they go to lunch, and I really love this about Texas. Just that being nice before you're rude. I mean, it's just a general South thing.

Like, hi, how are you? Oh good, my hand is cold and it was on your back. So sorry, because my hand's full of cold right now. Like, what the hell? It's like cold outside. Maybe it should have warmed it up under my pasta spigot over my stove top, but that would imply that I actually cut a concussion mark.

It was a cook gang. I'm supposed to be sorting a socks into left and right. Just keep doing left and left. This is hilarious. Watch them walk in circles with that pasta pot. Yeah. Well, look, I know I'm not perfect, but I don't understand why I'm here. And Stephanie's like, I'm so excited.

And Carrie's talking about her dogs. She's like, well, here's what I'm here. And Stephanie's like, I'm so excited. And carries talking about her dogs. She's like, well, here's what I did today. My dog got into some chocolate covered something and threw up all over the house. So, oh girl. Oh, that's great. Well, I felt like the other day, at the White Party, you left defeated and you had no friends. And I think you actually said, like, you don't know if anyone at the table is your friend. Like, I think you said that. And the Stephanie is making it sound like she's the victim here. So she didn't just betray the only person who stood by her.

You asshole. She's like, I feel horrible, but like, I want to give her the bottom of what she said. Like, it's not a fool. Yeah, I carry this bit. You know those days when you just feel like you have no friends and no one likes you. And you're just like the gunk at the bottom of a shoe. And you're just like alone in the world. And you're like, why do I even live here? Why did God waste time on me? That's why I feel today. Well, welcome to lunch. Let's order appetizers. So this is being intercut with another conversation as Brandy arrives at Leigh-Anne's house, the John Bouquet, and she's like, hi, sorry about your flesh eating bacteria in your

boobies. But I want you to know what true friendship is. True friendship. That thing looks like a Thanksgiving day flow. It's actually got a nest with eggs in it. Okay, that's how tacky this fucking thing is. You know, someone like her grandma sent that, the grandma who doesn't talk to her, sent that from like Mississippi or wherever. This is a fuck you to her. Yeah, probably. It was, it had shades of Adrian Maloof.

Strange. It's a hard and sculpture thing. That is a really good call when she sent that huge thing of just like this to the White Party for Lisa. Yeah, it was like Adrian Maloof's version of Pandora by Avatar. I had the people at Hobby Labby move all these twists to say, fuck you, Vandeskank. Thanks, Miss Moussie.

So, so Brandy, um, is saying how her feelings, um, talking about her, Brandy's feelings were disturbed and hurt by Carrie. And, and the fact that Carrie had said that she couldn't be friends with them. So that's what Brandy was going through. Yeah, when Brandy was basically telling the whole world that Kerry was a home-recking whore, as Kerry just later. I love this. Brandy and Stephanie dividing and conquering

by pretending to be the victim. And Leon's learning a huge lesson in this, because she will victimize whoever her friends are against as well, which is how all the shit started with Kerry in the first place. Most of that stuff started with Heidi being a bitch to her in the house. Do you remember? Oh, of course. Yeah, the corn dog. Yeah. So liant liant's like, well, look, I am so glad I hired those nurses with all those IVs because I needed to be able to come to your party.

I needed to throw that glass. And she's like, I am happy you came. And then I goes, good. And she goes, when that, when that carry can come in at you and come in at you and come in at you. And I smashed that glass. And at least got people to shut up. I was like, okay, look, I don't know who,

what show you people are watching? Carrie did not just start coming after people. She sat there. Yeah. She has dragged her downstairs, you know, and then surrounded her again with real glasses time and attacked her. What do Carrie do? I mean, Carrie's an asshole, okay. I don't care. I denied the Carrie's an asshole, but what do you people even talking about? I know. So then we go back to the other conversations.

And he's like, did you honestly say that you couldn't be friends with me? Because I think I'm hilarious. Like, you know, friendship with me comes with like the added threat of drowning and bringing in a fire all at once in my new house. So Kerry goes long, small sip. Yeah, and then there was like, I'd commercial, because yeah, I did.

And then she goes, you know, that cave dinner is where it honestly fell off track for me. And I'm like, that is such a funny thing to say in life. Yeah, that cave dinner is where our friendship really goes one more. That's what I wrote, too. I put it in quotes and I put, only Bravo. Only Bravo. Yeah, it was that cave dinner. And also, you know, like before I was saying, Kerry is obviously a dick too. This is why because she says

things like this. I felt physically and emotionally attacked. Okay, I'm not going to sit there and have someone throw a glass at me. Okay, first of all, you can't just say that every time Godzilla comes in and knocks the top off a building. You know, he went name in for you. It's just that. Yeah, Zilla general rage, general rage, although to be fair, I mean, Leanne did getting carries face with her quote, alleged dog shit breath. She did. That was the ultimate. Yeah, that was manslaughter. It was like breath slaughter. It wasn't bacteria breath. Yeah, the glass sheet at least had the decency to throw to cameraman. Yeah, exactly.

So she's like, yeah, that caved in her is where I felt it went off track. And she's like, well, like, I don't think it was right. For Brandy to say what she said about the man, anything. Like, I don't agree with how that was handled. And she goes, look, I don't like want whatever is going all with you and Bradley to come between us. Cut to Bradley.

I've been very supportive of Carrie. Please name one time. Please, please name one time you've been supportive of Carrie. Ma'am. So Leanne starts saying that Carrie plays innocent while she manipulates the situation, which is funny because, you know, Leanne and Kerry are totally pitted against each other by, feels

like Brandy and Stephanie, but the truth is, it seems like Brandy and Stephanie might, maybe even Brandy might be the one who plays the most innocent while she manipulates the situation. Yeah, that's how it's looking this year for sure And I like that Liam was like you are a good friend to her. I mean girl I didn't even know about the nanny. I had no idea now PS why don't you tell me about the nanny It's like I feel like she is the but Kara is the puppeteer and Brandy is Stephanie or at the end of those strings now why would a nanny have an affair with a man who gets dicks like the roundup? Oh, did I say that again?

Did I say that? Well, I hope she was a nanny with some paper towels. So Carrie is like, when Brandi came back, like we just stopped hanging. And I feel like she has a spell over you. And you're like, oh, yes, Brandi, oh. She's like, we are too different. We are not the same.

We're different. We're kind of different. I mean, we're mostly different. Like we're not attached. Oh, I think Brandi just got stuck by something. I felt it by hand. She's like, well, you need to be more clear about that. So cut back to Leigh Ann.

She's like, look, I just don't want to see you hurt again, okay? Bakery I don't want you to see I don't want you to be hurt by Kerry And she's like well, maybe she used our breakup To be better friends with her and she might have been manipulating the situation the whole lot the whole No, no ma'am No, no care We don't have any shots of Kerry saying fuck Brandy to Stephanie. Always thought Kerry say to Stephanie was he should try to make up with her.

Yeah, that's actually true, right? So Kerry's just basically giving Stephanie the business like separate yourself as pathetic and not backing down. Stephanie's like, um, okay, I'll try. And then we can back to Leon and Leon.anne. Oh, are you going to say it? Go for it. It's my favorite. You could say it. You said, if you're a favorite part of you, you say it.

You say it because I don't know what you're saying. Because she was just saying, it's the pub. Don't let her be the puppeteer. Now listen, this is where you tell her if you stay close with Kerry, it's going to damage our relationship. I was like, you're literally telling her what to do. I think it's do. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's funny. Well, it's going to be the puppeteer at least take the credit. OK. Yeah. It was surprising because Lam said, you know, I went to that Halloween party dress. It's two phase. Hope now the fight was definitely because I thought she was two-faced, but she's not

two-faced. She's weak too faced. She's weak and manipulated. I sit a gone as a doormat. Oh, it'd have been much easier. Just put some uncomfortable material on there and put welcome. I should've just gone as a John Hazard because I hear she has an open fireplace in the pool in her foyer, within inches of each other.

So we now have, we now find D'Andra heading back to the cosmetic lab where we find her plucky underling whose job she stole. Jackie. I'm sorry, Jackie. Jackie is wearing some kind of print jacket that looks like a close-up of an organism just to say like, I understand snow algae, ma'am This is very exciting because this is the product that D finally okayed last week and Deandra's hoping this will She'll finally be able to make a mark on the hard-knock good morning product line with this And it's the first new product in seven years, which is a little crazy if you ask me. It's anti aging, it tightens, it plumps, it pulls, it pushes, it swims, it runs, it flies, it tastes like cinnamon. It restarts your car. It's a jumper cable.

It is a city. You can put together your furniture with it. It provides, it provides support all night long through your sleep. It's like this thing does everything. And she's like, now Jackie and she puts on those humongous thick glasses. Where she's like, do you see what my eyelashes are made of? Good, they're working. Okay. Now L-22 is my number because 20 series my number. It restores your lipid level to the time you were 22 years old.

That was a double-on-d-ondra, if you will. You know, double-on-tondra is almost like saying Deandra. You really think about it. Probably like just like 22 differences between the two words. Oh my god, 22 is my favorite number. My favorite number. If you put two and two together, it becomes four, which is also a favorite of mine, but it's not as good as 22. Anyway, to point this, I love L22. And I'm here because I'm so excited that you promised me that there'd be L22 in this, in this, in this product.

And Jack is like, did I say L22? I meant I was listening to an old album of L-7. God, they were a great band. Where are they? Bless their hearts. All I was trying to say was whatever happened to L-P's. Anybody know? Anybody? She's like, now look. Now here's how Snow Algae works. Kay. Now, we can get all the products, have we,

won't we, just call, you called you know whoever direct an order room But you can't do that with snow algae, okay, and we'd buy snow out you got to buy it by the key those Okay, it's cocaine basically it's basically cocaine We have to have it flown in here by the Mexican loaded the grants of the army didn't find them So it's gonna take four weeks and she's like um this is the post to walk into weeks gonna take four weeks and she's like um this is the path to walk into weeks. Well I don't know what we're gonna do. Jackie has this look in her eye her eyes are always propped wide open like she has been terrified so much by D over the course of her life that her eyes are just stuck like

that even when she's calm you know. Jackie is thrilled she's like oh I'm so sorry were you just betting everything on your career on this L22ing ingredient that's not going to be there by the time it launches? You might lose your job. I wonder who will take it for you. I mean, I'm not really doing anything. I guess I guess I could do it.

I could do it. Well, it is going to be my pleasure. Mix with sorrow as I write your goodbye letters sitting in my corner of this. Miss Dandra. And then, you know, as a Dandra's packing for box, oh, isn't this funny? I just found all the L 22 turns out was here all along.

Oh. Anyway, have fun working that Verizon store with Kate. I love that. So my head is on the chopping block. She's like, we will do everything we can. Miss Andrew. Now, excuse me, I'm going to Panera Grill. So Cameron is with her kids who hate her.

Basically, her daughter looks just like court. She has the exact same face. And even the, I hate you. And what am I doing here face that he makes at her? She's like guys remember when mommy talked about her party and tried to get Perfect pink bubble gum for her dog food mommy is nervous It might be might not be pink Kid goes awkward. Yeah. Because remember, remember this sparkle party mommy was talking about in

home goes, no idea. So Hilden's just like rolling her eyes like, oh, let me call her in peace. Just like how much of my college fund is this one going to take? So a court had to spend an extra $10,000 to get a new version of the Kibble so that way it'll be pink. So he arrives with the box. Cameron's freaking out.

She's like, oh my God. I'm not even sure I want to open it. I just want to put my hands on it. Make sure it's extra pink. And they open it up and she's like, that is pink. It's sort of like a grayish salmon color, but it's kind of, yeah, it's pink, like mixed with beige.

Yeah, it's very light salmon. I think that's a good thing for me. It looks like, it looks a lot like, actually looks like the cat food. I used to give my cat. So, she's like, this is dog food history now. We've done it four score and seven kibbles ago. This is the declaration of sparkle pendants. Okay. It took 1776 tries to get this right, but we debat. You know what? I'm dreaming of the day when

Lynette, what's their face? Makes it Broadway musical called Cameron. Like, no, that's the memory of Miranda. The kids like, so now I think what might be a, this might be a good time to talk about other things that are really exciting and Really are written down and do reflect history, you know the modern day and age we read history Through the wonderful works of magazines

dying That's magazines are more than just something to flip through in the checkout line at the grocery store. They're informative and entertaining and keep you up to date on news and social issues and sparkle dog food. And you give them great opinions and ideas from the world's best journalists, writers and leaders. And then you get all your favorite magazines in one app,

Texture! Yeah, you can get access to all of your favorite magazines in one place on your tablet or your phone. The Texture app has gone beyond delivering just the magazine itself. They've made it easy to find and enjoy the articles you want to read with daily recommendations, exclusive interactive features, videos, and more. Now listen up, you mimicers.

Before you bow at me, let me tell you what I did while I was recovering from my flesh eating bacteria. I went on to texture and I read cycle world and vogue. I read vogue. I said, what's my look for fall for flesh and bacteria? And they had an article about it, it was amazing. Come on, Vogue, Vogue. What's your body moved in the music, dammit?

Man. And then I read something and do it yourself, magazine. Guess what you could do by yourself. Get flesh and impact your real. Why subscribe to just a couple of magazines when you can have all of your favorites on your smartphone or tablet all the time for way less. Mhah!

Right now, textures offering are listeners a 14 day free trial when you go to texture.com slash crappins. That's 14 days to try texture for free when you go to Texture.com slash crap ends. Dumb blondes, read magazines, smart blondes, read texture. Thank you Texture. Thank you. Okay, so now let's go over to Stephanie making salmon Speaking of pink things she's making salmon putting things on salmon getting ready for some salmon Travis is the most exhausted husband we've ever had on the house

So and I love it. I love his consistent just like My god, well, he probably just a massive shit Looks like he did it was like oh,, we've got to work in that fan in the bathroom. I think every, I don't know why this is a Texas thing because I know they have Costco everywhere, but my mom does this to you where once Sam's and then Costco came out, everything you eat is from Costco,

you know, and once you start walking through those Costco's and seeing that this is everything your mother has claimed to cook for years, it feels like being betrayed in a way, you know. But I loved when Travis walked in, he's like, wow, Costco looks good. That made me want to go to Costco. I got to renew my membership. So funny. And it really is. It's just like the cold slot, but in a crystal serving bowl. Yeah. And so she's like, well, the kid is doing good. And he's like, yeah, the teacher emailed

me and say he's doing better. How's the tutor? Just go to bed Travis. Yeah. It was actually a nice scene because he talked about growing up being dyslexic and being pulled out of class And like he didn't really learn he couldn't read until the second time he did I went through third grade and you know He didn't have friends Because he's made fun of and I was like oh Travis and Yeah, I felt for Travis too and then he tries to show her how to work in Evan which is funny and she's like I do cook I do

and then he tries to show her how to work in Evan, which is funny. And she's like, I do cook, I do. So next up, Brandy is at lunch in Plineau. And Adele Friska is grill. We get the most amazing scene of Cameron trying to pair a little park. Yeah. She, it was like reverse Austin powers. She was just going back and forth and not getting anywhere closer to the curb. And I just imagined inside she was like, okay, okay, well, isn't she?

It's not she's rich enough to have one of those cars that just does that for you. So many cars do that now, whether you just put, okay, parallel park, and then they do it. you just put, okay, parallel park and then they do it. Just like, um, um, and then this is the final. Seriously, can you park the car? Alexa, park the car. Oh my God, I hope we didn't just cause any wrecks. I don't think Alexa can park any cars. Well, you never know that future is near

or maybe people are listening to this in a few years where she's doing it. Smart Alexa's park cars. Domo Lexus park nothing. Randy's like, um, welcome to Plano. And Cam, um, it was an adventure. I get confused driving and I feel like I drove to another country. Okay.

It shows that I want to work on our friendship. Just why I drove that far to the Mexican food restaurant to show my child that I approved a guacamole. You know, we went to Cabo earlier before we went to Mexico together and it was so fun and the food was so good that we came back and we just want to keep on eating Mexican food. It's so amazing. And it's like she's trying to make up with Brandi at this lunch and Brandi really is pushing her because driving to Plano is no easy feat. Okay. Plano is not back close. It's not like going to the valley. It's way further and Brandi's like, well, welcome to the 729385732-544. Okay. And Cameron is like, okay, I'm going to drive

to Plano. I'm going to parallel park in these Godforsaken completely open streets. And then when the waiter comes, he goes, I'd like to order anything girly or fruity okay he's like we could do that it's called the entire menu great and can I get a box to well we don't box up our drinks no I thought we're in Plano don't you guys just give away Plano boxes here isn't that what this town is known for? Can I have some? Can I have something that's not Plano? But you're in Plano. No, I just mean with some seasoning on it. I think it's great how you guys speak another language here or as you guys say language. Oh

I think it's great how you guys speak another language here or as you guys say language, oh Man, I'm speaking English English oh Brady could you translate? I have no idea what he's saying. Ma'am. Do you want to make an order? Okay Kate Charizo de Kito Kate Chorizo de Kito Dunday stop Plano

Barrio Sibu Plano sorry. I'm new to the flatlands, okay Can I have a Cosmo? So Cameron has come to try and make up and Brandy is like, I'm gonna fuck with her. So she's like, I learned why you serve cocktails in plastic cups. Mm-hmm. And she's like, oh, are you not gonna show a flashback Bravo to my line? Oh, okay, I mean, you just, you showed a flashback to Megan King Edmund's baby crib. No, not to flashback to the glass breaking. Okay. Okay. All right. That's fine. Do I need to put sparkle dog food in a crib to give it a little flashback? Because I could do that.

Okay. So so brandy is like, listen, I don't want to fight with you. I really don't. But I don't want to have a stick on my ass like you either. But I don't want to have a stick on my ass like you either. Well, that's really an olive branch. I'm intended again. And olive branch up in ass. Yeah. Why do you think I have to stick up my ass? Because I don't want to run around the beach with inappropriate items. Because I know what's right and what's wrong.

Yeah, that is basically the definition of a stick up your ass lady. And she's like, well, some people's humor is just different. I don't know why you, I don't know what you have that. And Kanna says, well, if you took the time to get to know me, you could find out what makes me laugh. Like, for instance, you know, it really makes me laugh a lot. Can opener. Those are crazy. Ha!

Ha! You must parallel park every day out here, don't you? Ha! Ha! Ha! Is it working? It's so far away, I almost had to take a plane to Plano. Ah, ah, ah.

Do you get it? And Brandy's like, um, I just think we're different and like I'm open, but you know, she has to know I'm a free spirit. Okay, because I won't change to impress her or anyone like wait a rebel. Okay, but this is not just about you having a dildo that would have been fine. It was chasing her and slapping her with it after she asked you to stop for three days. Yeah, it's plan unknown for being like a bastion of free spirits. You live in suburbia. Your kids got kicked out of school because you're on a housewife, so okay? You're like cowboy

Cowboys cheerleader who married like a rich guy and is now stuck in a giant prison that lets his lets her kids play in cardboard boxes Like the rest of the fucking world Yeah, I don't see you at a At a at a concert for the strokes. You're not a free spirit. The strokes. I don't know, I don't know why I went to the strokes. So Cameron's like, this is new to be around people

who believe different things. Yeah, she's like, I've never had friends that aren't like me. I've never had friends that aren't like me. So, Cameron's like, well, I really wanted to share my dog food journey with you. And it would be great if we could share it, but I just need to know you're not gonna be inappropriate. And Brandy's like, um, is sex chocolate invited? She's like, I know that you're joking.

It's called learning the language. No, I did not order guacamole, sir. Can I get someone to speak English, please? I'm still confused how there can be a bowl of dancing. Salsa doesn't make sense. Can I please have a bowl of ballet? Because that has grace, okay? So now it's time for the Big Sparkle launch party and we see the balls of all the sparkle food and we see brown bits in there and Cameron tells us that unfortunately there was an issue with the focus groups and people flipped out on all pink

Kibble. So we had to put some brown in there because it was the poop. She's like, yeah, people were afraid of the pink poop. So we had to make so much. So we had to make so much. People are free of pink poop as if as as if brown poop is like so much better. So funny. I know poop is poop. Can you imagine if people just freak out when they get a dog in general? Like poop. Like we got our focus group on dogs back. God, people aren't really liking the poop.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, the benefit of having some brown kibble in there is it does make the pink pop a little bit more. Maybe? I don't know. But it's still, I mean, guys, I get that no one's ever seen pink in this room, but I took out another milkbone and was like, pink. It's just pink. It's like literally pink. Pink milkbone. So, Quart, who just has like a giant fart face like speaking of poopy. He's just like She gets to you like my logo, which is basically an entire wall of Louis face with sparkles all over it And because this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen you've outdone yourself

Thank you. I've given you all the control, but I have the control. tricked you. So women, all these women are arriving with the little dogs. Um, I'm just saying like dogs, dogs, dogs, does this one little black dog that little black poodle that refused to eat the sparkle dog food, which I thought was funny. It's like, yeah. Yeah. So Deandra and Leanne got to pick up Brandy and Brandy's dog is a little fucker of course. Well yeah they get Brandy I think is already in there in the in the SUV and they pile in and D'Andrea's dog just starts attacking Brandy's

dog. Yeah they start going at it and Leanne's like whoa some shit's going down damn damn you think they were just a rory or something what's wrong with you bitches now let's get on to how we're gonna ruin carry so they start to like brandy and liana rehashing all the carry secrets because Deandre wasn't if you remember Deandre was not at the party last week it was merely just an android version of the Android. And Android, the Android. The Android. That's what they should be called, the Android. So anyway, so yeah, they're rehashing,

and you can tell, Deandra is not about this. She hates this sort of shit. She's just like, oh, L2N2, L2N2. Yeah, and when she gets the gossip, Leand's like, wait until you hear this goss and Brandy's like yeah, Carrie and Mark turns out

She was the nanny and she's like for who? For Carrie and Mark Nurse nanny, I guess they both start with an in and Andrew's like do they pay the same rights? I'm sick of this nurse Nurse Nanny, who cares? I want to fake this on a sparkle dog. Okay? His dog's ready to sparkle. And then we go back to the party and

Kerry and Stephanie are chasing the kibble and the camera just comes over and goes, doesn't it taste like melba toast? Kerry's like, tastes like a crocker. And God damn you for making me eat a carb. Albatost? Carey's like, tastes like a cracker. And God damn you for making me eat a carb. Who's Melbatost? So let's see.

I'm surprised the camera's even had Melbatost. Me too. I think she's so excited about that. Like, at last, my dream has come true. Dog food doesn't only pink, but finally tastes like Melbatos Everything a dog wants What do people even use Melbatos is like those are like little crackers, right? But they're like not they're like Christina-ish sort of they're like too hard

Like you eat them. You're like out. So red should never be this hard They need like something on top of it. Wasn't it there like a garbage-pale kid? That was like Melbatost. I'm sure. I feel like that's, I've got to look it up. Garbage pale kid, Melbatost. Yep, yes, yes. I remember this, you know, I was obsessed

with garbage pale kids when I was a kid. Melbatost. You mean, partly too. We had almost all of them. We like that Melbatost. And then Melbatost. I remember they had twins. And Melbatost's twin is high-ry

I ride Melvato's Funny. Oh my god. I loved these. Oh my god. I should look at all these Start looking at all these garbage. Wait. No, there's ones This is disgusting now. I know my parents didn't like them aerial aerial is this girl who's flying Let me just describe this one thing. This is me last week. This girl Ariel Ariel. The first Ariel is spelled like an aerialist and then her name is Ariel like Little Mermaid and she's flying because she has so much snot coming out of her nose that made a big giant balloon that's floating her off Your dog garbage pill kids

So let's speak of something cute which is my baby his name is Louie everybody look it's Louie and he's on a glitter pillow So Stephanie's like is this a dog or has Mariah Carey just arrived which is actually kind of true because Moriah is just carried on spun around and then shoved back into crate when she's done that stays. That's actually true, yes. And so Cameron makes a speech that is like a is a valiant attempt to be empowering. She's like, pink means power and we women are powerful. I'm like, oh, there's nothing we can't do why every feminist marched ever pink dog food paid for by a rich guy You married well done. She goes even though I'm blonde It's still all came together and I'm proving everyone that this is going to work I'm like and you're also making it sound like if you're blonde, you're automatically a failure at everything.

Why would you say even though I'm blonde? Hillary Clinton's at home cutting herself on the inner thigh. Right. So now we're wrapping her. You're a good plan for Chappacra. So like, Dunger here. Yeah.

Yeah. So now we skip over to the psychic. Yes. And she's like, Ha, I'm here to talk to your doggy doggy. And Dan is like, Okay, now why doesn't my little girl wanna lay Rammy or follow me around the house?

Huh? I mean, her name is Gypsy. Now look, I know that she probably hasn't seen this musical, but Gypsy is about a mother who is so demanding and horrible and like ignoring one of the daughters, so the other daughter could be famous. And then the ignored daughter ends up growing up to be a famous stripper named Gypsy. Okay. Yeah. Come on, D'Andra.

Yeah. You're giving her really shitty numerology to start. You can't be overbearing with one of the nice you know nice to the other or whatever. So the psychic is like hmm okay I'm getting a vibe from G.P.C. the dog that oh she did not bond with her mama dog that's the problem let me ask her something let me ask her something do you love your mom? She says what the roll are I love my mom. And then Deandra just starts to cry. Yeah, she's like, like this. We make fun of Psychics a lot, but this is about as simplistic a reading as it could be.

She's like, I've just sensed your dog likes to go beep beep every morning on the back lawn. She's like, oh! And Deandra's like, it's just that, it's a lot of things going on in my life. It reminds me of my relationship with my mom and it's like going on my life and my business and L22 Where's L22? I got L21 I got L23 by can't get bingo L22 goddamn I need L2 I'm telling you this is a psychic's like well

It's that your dog was the runt and she just got knocked off the net bowl It's like oh my god. That's it. It's just like me. I was on the nipple and then Janet came in knocked me down My mother never spoke to me again I just the exact thing They happen it with me and feet now hold on a second. I'm getting another message from gypsy. Oh gypsy says Please heal my mom. I just wanted to feel better. She's working too hard. Stop worrying about L22 How did you know that? She's like, I'm hearing something from Gypsy. God, I'd like to give me kids you want to get ahead.

She's like, oh my God, you really know me. I like that. I like that Dan Dren was even yelling at the diary, where she's like, I just want a regular relationship with my mom. Every single day I try to go in and tell her I love her. She is watching that damn TV VCR combo again. I'm gonna take those Regis and Cacti Lee VCR takes out of there and crash them. If I have to adjust the tracking on that thing one more time I swear to God I'm gonna throw it out the window. See really thought Sammy Davis Jr. met Regis this morning.

So dandera is like um speaking of invites there are people you need to include at your engagement party. Lian. Lian and Lian is like well look you, I don't want to ignore people, but Carrie and Mark, I mean, she's had a hard time being honest and it is my engagement party. So they're going to make her go talk to her now. Yeah. So Leon's like, I'm going to talk to Mark because I want to talk to Mark. And the end is like, be the bigger person, be the bigger person. Like, be the flat screen TV to the TV, BCR combo.

Okay, be the bigger one. Get to mark showing off his seized court, who's like, the fuck are you? And no, I won't give you a blowjob. Sir, I got these shocks at the, uh, the found up. Please don't take my support of sparkle dog food as a willingness to blow you. Oh, doctor person. And why are you dancing with two left feet, sir? Well, it's an issue about the two left socks. It's, it's just an ongoing problem I'm having. So, Cory goes back to Cam, so Mark can have his scene. He's like, oh, Cameron, I had zero confidence in you. He's like, thanks, babe.

Do you want to eat some? So, now we're going to intercut between Stephanie and Carrie talking. Wait, no, Stephanie tells Carrie to, yeah. Stephanie tells Carrie to talk to Brandy. And, when he's like, do I have to talk to her? And it's like, yes. So, the two conversations are Leanne talking to Mark and Carrie talking to Brandy. Yes So Carrie she's like well, there's two Brandy's there's one who's like pooping and like slapping people with dill blows and stuff

And then there's one insinuating I'm a home-working whore. So which one we gonna meet today? Huh? Yeah, cuz Brandi, yeah, she was like, she bases like, I don't know why you felt the need to go below the belt, which Brandi doesn't really have a good answer to that. I don't know if we even heard an answer. She's just saying, but then we see Leanne talking to Mark about the engagement. She's like, I just want to extend an invitation to you and Gary to come to my party. I didn't know if I wanted to do it first, but I don't want to leave anyone out, but I thought I'd be so fond to leave you guys out, but I thought I shouldn't do that. But I really want to leave you out. But here's the thing. So I don't

know whether or not to invite your wife because I have an issue with people who lie, especially to my face. I'm like, Leanne, what are you doing? This guy, this is wife. What do you, what do you expect him to say? I'd be like, oh, yeah, I get it. Yeah, she's a big fat liar. That's, that's, that's what you're trying to get.

So you're trying it with the pettiest housewife on this show. Like Carrie won't cut you, okay? She'll just like try and roll her crossed eyes and leave the room. Mark will cut a bit, okay? She'll just like try and roll her crossed eyes and leave the room. Mark will cut a bitch, okay? Yeah. So he's like, um, you're trying to convince me that my wife is a liar basically. So then we switch back to Carrie and Carrie's like, um,

Randy, I watched your kids in Memphis. I didn't fuck you. And Randy's like, well, I guess that's a good point. She's like, look, it's a job and I work. And I think you're being judgmental at people with jobs. And she's like, look, it's a job and I work. And I think you're being judgmental of people with jobs. And she's like, well, in my head, I was keeping a secret for you. Because think about it when you're working for someone and she goes, I took care of all the

church's kids. Okay. You know why? Because they trust me. That's why. And also I give good blood jobs. And also, I'll a pre-dub. Like what, what did I do? Uh, post-arm. So then Mark is like, now Mark starts confronting Leanne about the gay stuff, you know, being like, you know, like I heard that you're saying that I solicited guys at the roundup, which is hilarious, because that's all on even my type of guys, you know,

like I'm more of a, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm just saying, you've been spreading words, it's spreading things about'm more of a, well, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm just saying you've been spreading words, spreading things about me. And she's like, I only spread that because, because Kerry said that Rich has a ton of play-ness. Well, technically, she said that. That happens in her response. Yeah, and you were like, high on Xanax,

or whatever. Yeah, she's in an odd pool here. And I think it's funny that these two fights are about the same thing in a way like Carey is trying to convince that she had job She got jobs and Mark's trying to convince everybody that he didn't Come on now, man. I was like well when she tells me the other girls rich has a small one Which adores you he respects you and he's like do you respect me? Yeah?

Really? Yeah, so did you call my practice a chop shop and she's like Chop shop, which is a great place for a salad. He's like no I think like you can get all sorts like a salad bar plastic surgery You get all this and light us but in big form. So yes, I did say that. I did. I did it's a compliment Only plantation only after she called my doctor of a John a doctor and he goes, well, your plastic surgeon is not a plastic surgeon. He's not a doctor and she goes, now you're talking semantics. I like, uh, there's a pretty big semantic land.

Oh, semantics. Well, he's not really a doctor. Turns out he sells rugs and works part-time at an LAFIT this. So he finally is just like, you know what? Okay, this is over, you know, because she's not fronting, she's not admitting to anything. And he's like, she goes, after all this, even after all this, off would like to invite you and carry to celebrate with us. And he goes, Oh, well, perfect. Thanks. Yeah. The seaworthiest walkoff ever. Yeah. Cause she's like, I just want an

appallied. I just want an apology from Carrie. That's all I want. It's like, well, I'll check to see if she already gave one. Yeah. So then Carrie is like, what the hell? Now I have two of you coming after my marriage and Brandy goes, now that I think about it, it was very immature of me. I should have done a one on one. I hope you'll forgive me. She's like, sorry. I'm like, bitch, if she, if Carrie did anything like a fraction of what you had said, like you would have ice wrapped for two years. Yes. And Kerry is like, there's a comment denominator, Leanne.

There's also a comment denominator between you and Leanne, which is Carrie, or which is Brandy. All right. Come on. And there's a comment denominator between all of you guys, which is unnecessary spigots on your stow-top. So, why don't we do something we haven't done in a few weeks? But we finally have a new entry since we're wrapped up with Dallas.

It was only one episode of Dallas Love Season finale. I am bereft. Bereft. So that's it for Dallas for today. But let's go on to some listener spotlight, shall we? Yes, please. Yes, please. School of London.

All right. So we are going to circle back to Rachel Kranz who we heard from back in March. Rachel you have the floor. Hi Ben and Ronnie it's Rachel Kranz from Denver the listener with the Insta Famous Doxons at Colorado Weenies still waiting for your follows. Since we talk last I got engaged. Can you believe it, girls? I'm getting married. And I got engaged in an ass-bent of all places. I only get engaged in an ass-bent, okay? You asked me what my favorite bravo show is, which I have to say has been very difficult for me to

pick one absolute favorite. It's really a close call for me between Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, New York, and Vanderpump rules. When I first saw Vanderpump rules and they did that terrible crossover with Beverly Hills with Brandi and Shina, I was like, what is this awful show? And thought I'd never watch it again. A few seasons later, I had food poisoning and was stuck at home in bed all day. And what happened to have a marathon running VPR? So I watched them all in one day and I've never looked back. The show is like a slow moving car accident. You really shouldn't be watching what you just can't look away.

Unlike my housewives where I very clear favorites, I really don't root for anyone I hate them all equally. With the housewives, they have wealth and beauty that's something that I'm watching because it's so unattainable. With Vanderbomb, it's quite the opposite. It's so uplifting because no matter how terrible my day or week is going, at least my life is going better than all of the certain employees.

And my couches will always be in better condition. The amount of incest in the group is truly incredible. And the obsession that they each have with their birthdays when they're all in their mid to late 30s is admirable. With the show full of garbage people, you think there wouldn't be any takeaways, but I have to say, Lella really got me thinking about the importance of a summer body,

and thankfully, Shina and Katie have been great examples for me as I've begun wedding planning about everything I don't want my wedding to be, including a crop top wedding dress or a Wednesday night wedding ceremony. I am so excited for the show to return and to hear both of you recap every moment for me. I can't wait to listen. Love you guys and I hope to talk to you soon.

Thanks. Well, congratulations, Rachel, on that engagement. That's awesome. And we just followed Colorado weenies on Instagram as well. Yes, we certainly did. That's awesome. And we just followed Colorado weenies on Instagram as well. Yes, we certainly did. That's awesome. Congratulations. Yeah, I like that she's like, who obsessive their birthday in their 30s. And I literally earlier today was thinking, I think I'm gonna start putting together my plans for my birthday party. You're never like a week long and required to, you know,

so much, you know, I didn't even have a birthday party last year, actually. I know, how come? I was just like, like, stressed with some stuff. I don't know, it was just, I just didn't feel like it. I just kind of felt like doing something super small. I felt like a board game. But this year, I want to bring the birthday back. I want to do something big and fun.

And I don't know what it's going to be, but I got to figure it out. I'm going to reach out to all the it out. I'm gonna reach out to To all the peeps. I'm on like I want to reach out to all our new podcast friends, you know I want to write them all and oh yeah, I just want I want to be like if I'm gonna be reaching out to a bunch of people I want to be like a fun place. I got to figure out a place to have the birthday Like I'm thinking about even doing something crazy like renting out like a little space So we'll see we'll see how much money I have by the way about after this move happens. I'm going about even doing something crazy like renting out like a little space. So we'll see we'll see how much money

I have by the way about after this move happens. I'm going through so oh my god. Yeah, you're gonna have a crazy week next week, sir Yeah, I certainly will and then we have our San Francisco show and then just when we get back from that we go right to Mexico for two days So it's gonna be what I like to call a nightmare 10 days. Yes, a nightmare mixed with heaven 10 days. You're gonna get home and sleep so well being. Absolutely. So it's about for back for New Jersey. Yes, we sure are. That brings us to another end of Watchwood crap ends. Thank you guys all for selling our San Fran show out. We'll let out some new dates soon. And we'll see you tomorrow for jurors. All right, bye, everyone.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. on Slash Survey.