Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Every Hot Dog Has Its Day

Episode Date: August 23, 2017

It's time to acknowledge that LeeAnne Locken is a national treasure. We may have to wait 45 minutes for her to show up on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Dallas, but it's worth it. Come see how this weiner handles the ladies in yet another hilarious installment of RHOD. If you're not watching, you're not living. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode of Watch Our Crappens is brought to you by our Patreon super premium sponsors

Christy D'Aurite, Kelly Barlow, Jess Sayon, Cindy Burgess Gerson, and Kelly Grant! So much that crap ends. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. Poppins.

Poppins. Poppins. Poppins. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, Oh, but me more than ever. Kids, what happens, what happens? So much that happens. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media, go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras,

come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everybody, welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast that all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo I'm Ben Mandelker from bcblag.com and the Bantler Blender podcast joining me as usual is the hilarious and wonderful and altogether great Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Prick's Bachelor in Paradise podcast. Hi Ronnie, what is up?

Hello, Bane! How's it going? Good, I'm so excited for today. I'm excited for today too, but before we get into our recap of Real House Was a Dallas, just a reminder that we have a fresh bonus episode up this week, and in it we are going, doing a deep dive on the Real Housewives of New Jersey trailer that just plopped down into our world yesterday. So, if you want to hear us go scene by scene scene shot by shot, we got everything covered from the Chlorox bleach wipes behind Dolores to Kim D being the, what was it?

What was it? The piece of shit cocaine house wrecking house wrecker every day. Yeah Teresa learned anagrams. Well she didn't learn anagrams. Wait is that what you call those? What do you call it when there's like just what do you call it? I'm dumb or the Teresa you learned acronyms.

The difference is I know it. She learned acronyms the differences. I know it She learned acronyms acronyms acronyms. Thank you She may have learned anagrams too She's like mahania that also spells mahania She's like well, you know what you are a sharp She's like hey, you know it's another word for auto too um She's like, hey, you know what's another word for Otto, too! Next up, Palin Drone's. Otto still works. So anyway, really we had a lot of fun doing that bonus episode. If you want to listen to that,

you go to patreon.com slash watch or cry pins. And I'll go buy tickets for our live show in LA. It's a week and a half away. There's gonna be a scavenger hunt for people who go to the show. And that'll be the day after and we'll be drinking. Super fun. Jeff Lewis will be at the show. Jenny Pulo, a sketch adverter from flipping out. There'll be some crap and spagnetic poetry.

You will, all that good stuff. And does there anything else we have to whore out while we're doing this? Anything else? No, I don't think so. Let's get our butts into this rate cap. Yeah, I think that the only thing that we have to whore out is the state of Texas. We're going to Real House of Dallas. The Real Housewives of Dallas. Yeah. What do you think? Still like, still very strong, a very strong second episode. I don't understand why the producers made us wait 45 minutes to see Leanne,

but nevertheless, maybe she was busy sandpaperings some piece of wood or human being. That was pretty weird. And then when she did come on, it was as a hot dog. Yeah, when she came on, she's like, well, I'm only gonna be in 15 minutes of this show, but I'm gonna make it work. You won't give me two scenes. You better get ready for some hot down. Hey guys, today for today's episode, just call me Frank. Get it? Frank. Get it. Somebody call Oscar and Maya. I got you know, we need a stop being such a we need. So this episode opened up

with Carrie and Mark in the morning. Sounds like a morning. Sounds like a DJ show Carrie Mark in the morning. So what is so that would be welcome to Carrie and Mark in the morning. Let's talk about how hard it is wearing two socks with an R on them. Yeah, Mark is annoyed. He's like, you got to tell the maid. He's got you the socks where you got to match up the socks. I'm sitting here standing around with two R's on my socks.

It drives me nuts. All right. Bye, honey. I'm like, is it that hard to walk up to your drawer and pull out a sock that says an L on it? You're just gonna like resign yourself to bring the two Rs on your feet all day long? No, but then he has to wear two Ls and it just reminds him of how white he is, you know, he looks down and he's like LL. Oh, LL, oh! LL, not cool mark. LL cool, nay.

He's got two left feet. So he stomped off in a fury over his two right, right socks. By the way, if you need an RNL on your socks, your problems are much deeper than the sorting. Yeah, we're going. It's like, what am I doing? I've been walking in circles all day. How do I need these? Hey, do you have a shirt, the dislabeled shirt?

So I know that it's a shirt. Can you put an L on me? Can you put an L on one sleeve and an R on the other sleeve? So I know which way it's supposed to face. As someone with square feet, I don't really understand the right to left anyway. I might have to say, he's gonna show up wearing shorts on his body like a halter top. I didn't know what to do.

Daniel Day Lewis can have two Ls, a brilliant man can't have two Ls. That would have been my two left feet. Which would have been a dance film. He's gonna come in the next morning counting one sock and be like, it's an orphan. So, uh, Kerry is, you know, feeding her kid, Zuri. Did we know her kid was named Zuri? I think so. It's probably named after Zuri because he's Swiss.

At which point, why not just name it Zurich? Well, it's a little girl, right? She was talking to you. Zurich? Oh, yeah. Zurich, like, you know, like Zurich, Zurich. Or maybe boredom, Zurich, I don't know. How about like, name it Geneva?

Okay, if you're gonna name it after, if you're gonna name a child after some place in Switzerland, how about Geneva, if it's a girl, huh? Yeah, how about that? How about that? And every time there's a convention, she could could be like yeah, that's right. I'm Geneva motherfucker. Yeah, how about this? How about you name your next child Alpenhorn do that? You know because they blow those Alpen horns in the Alpen yes, I love that He's like, oh, don't make daddy a matter horn This family must work like clockwork don't make daddy a matter horn. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the useless, is that typical thing like, well, I'm trying to make my husband happy, but I also have to deal with zero and I've got to go to work. Oh, the balance.

Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Uh, look, I've got reading glasses. This is crazy. The kids like, you love work and she goes, yeah, I love work. I fuck a lot there. I hate work. Well, one day you'll love it. I hate

game. So a little Miami flashback. So now we go to Cameron, the L Woods, the Nicole Kidman L Woods of the group, which is sort of funny because that's two thirds of big little lies right there. So can we work in Shaolin in there somehow? Can she just go jogging on a beach depressingly? If we're gonna find a Shaolin in any housewives, this is this one. Texas, Texas is a state of Shaolin's.

So it's Cameron with her kids and she's like, you know, believe it or not, I used to work. I used to be in sales for a toy company. That's right. KB Toys, that stands for Cameron Buzz Toys and sells them because I'm sales. She does this thing when she talks, where she's nodding her head and kind of person like the church lady while her head is tilted to the side and her eyes are really wide. It's bizarre. It's kind of like a, like, it's robotic, it's weird. Yeah.

And you're right because I keep forgetting she's actually from Northern California, another big little lised rip off. And she's a transplant to Texas. So I really shouldn't be giving her Texas accent. She has her own special camera accent. And she tells us later, it's very difficult because it's Callie and Texas and Trilingualism that you're hearing right now.

So her nanny comes over, who's also in one of our, you know, favorite movies. I don't know if it's R, but it's one of my favorite movies. Romy, Romy and Michelle. Yeah. So Romy, it's a Spanish teacher. She's not the nanny. Oh, that's so rude. Don't you remember? Cameron stayed home mom because Cork doesn't want me to, doesn't want me to work. He definitely wants me to be a very good CEO of the house though.

I'm a CEO, a baby making. That's very important. Yeah. So, yeah, it's the Spanish teacher and she's like, we are so lucky. Romy is the most sought out Spanish teacher in town. In Dallas, your kid has to be bilingual, tri-lingual if you can. I'm like, bitch, you're not in Turkmenistan, okay?

You're in Texas. I'm sure you can find many Spanish teachers. I'm glad you're teaching your kids to say ostrich in Spanish, because they're really gonna need that, okay. When we go to Disney Animal Kingdom, I want my kids to be able to talk to all the animals in Spanish. I can't roll my Rs for the life of me. See me? Me? What would you do it?

Me? Favourite. Me? Favor. Me. Favorita. She basically started saying my favorite heat is pink. Yeah, pretty much. Um, and then I just wrote, uh, because she's doing this whole, like, I'm homeschooling with my children thing. And I'm like, nice see-through sorted homeschool, mom, CEO, mom. Oh, I just would love to see her at like Chipotle. She's like, I'm going to Chipotle

and I'm gonna get a burrito and some fattas. Poor favor. Okay. Grazias. Poor favor, Cashew chicken. Triling wool, triling wool. Cressant, quad-lingual. Quad-sant. So next is Stephanie who gets a visit at home from her life coach, Lori. Now, Lori is one

of those ladies at church in the cookie room after after serve. I've talked about this, this type before, but he's always like, Hi, how are you? And they look deep into your eyes and not a lot. I always are always big and open to support of in loving. And then there are the first ones to whip out a fucking wooden spoon from the glove compartment and beat your ass down. Bless her. I like to describe her as having Rina Deliceps here, because it's got the shape of an extended

of a Luan haircut, but it's got the angular points of a Rina. Well that's the last time I think I said, how are you? It was Rina. So there you go. It was a Rina story. Kim Richards wants to scribe. Lisa Rina is like, I just saw it. It's like a lot of points.

She's like, I see it's very pointy. Any pointy everywhere. Yeah. Zier point. Ma-caw. So, uh, step-to-life coach. Zier point. So, uh, step-'s the life coach is there to talk to step- Step's been seeing her ever since her issues with Brandy started.

And she starts talking about how she wants him closer to Dallas Um, because she has to take the kids to private school there and I thought you were going to start crying like Stephanie. You got choked up. I was like, no, I had a coffee burp. I had a coffee, I was choked up. I was like, but what a coffee bird. I had a coffee. I was choked up. I was like but

What about all your memories at the generic subdivision you live in What about all those poop jokes you were gonna make with Randy? What about those crazy sculptures you have in your front yard? those crazy sculptures you have in your front yard. Stephanie is like, well, every since things happen with Brandy, I hired Stephanie. I've just painted it so I can talk in not a lawyer. You can't tell if she's crying or laughing.

I think the cry is actually just in reverse because the laugh is like, and the cry is like, and she's really crying. Even though my mom told me one time, I told her while we were watching a lifetime movie, I'm like, you could say whatever you want about Tori spelling, but she can cry. My mom said, that's not real crying when it comes down the middle of their eyes. Who cries like that? It comes up the corners of your eyes. Everybody knows that. That's how you know it's fake. And I was like, no, tour eyes said no. It's not like I see it all the time. She's like, you're falling for idiocy. She's like, do you think these are all done in one take? I'm like, no. And she said, have you ever used eye drops, Ronnie? Yes. Well, when you put them in and then you wait for them to say

roll, and then they start rolling, and then they drip out of your eyes when you put your head down. I was like, Oh my God, my mom does a lot. Yeah, she really, you're right. You're right. That's true. Well, Stephanie is crying now. I'm sorry. By the way, I'm having a hard time figuring out who is supposed to be getting the villain at it is it supposed to be Stephanie or Brandy? Because right now I'm actually more on Stephanie's side. I like Stephanie more right now. I think they're giving Brandy the villain at it.

I can't. I think. Wait, I don't tell. Well, it's not really an edit yet. Yeah, it's a little, or a wonderful, we'll talk. Yeah. They just keep looking at each other like, it is. It is. It is. It's like when little or a wonderful, moultaque. They just keep looking at each other like, you know, it is.

It is just like when little girls get into a fight and the parents make them sit in the room and then they like just sit there with their arms folded. Yeah, seeing who could look the most hurt. I just like the time I got into a fight with Darra Bloom in like, I think it was like, it's like in second grade. I just always remember we got into a fight

over a stuffed elephant or something like that and then her mom Sheila had to come in and like moderate and we sat there with arms crossed for like 10 minutes just staring at each other Until a pilot Darrell Bloom. I would not fuck with the girl named Darrell Bloom That sounds like a serious name. She's probably a famous agent right now. Yeah, Darrell Bloom She's definitely not she's she does good things for the world now. She's definitely not an agent. It's to use you.

Agents are angels. I love my agents. I love the agents do great things for my world, but maybe not for the one. but doing good things for my world doesn't mean we're improving the world at large because my world involves Crass snarky comments at the expense of strangers Well, there he go. That's giving back You know they never specify what you're supposed to give back just that you're supposed to get back Crash in crash down. That's what I say I'm getting back pieces of my soul. That's what I'm giving back

So I'm leaking negativity all over this world. I mean you cannot like what I'm giving but you can't say I'm not giving back I like I like to think that with every episode we do, I'm sacrificing future career opportunities. You know, me too. I feel like I would only be comfortable if I really could feel like I'm to blame. I feel like, yeah, the way I rationalize doing what we do is knowing that in the end, that we're

really suffering the most because we're just basically desnating ourselves to be podcasters. This is our career, we're podcasting. You know, that's the good thing about a housewives show though. It's like, you really learn to enjoy it when you realize it's fucking stupid. Well, you know, the life, yes, really party. I mean, I think that maybe we should have Laurie in here to give us some advice, because she seems to know a thing or two. Like, for instance, when conversation eventually gets on to Brandy, Laurie goes, well, you know,

sometimes friendships are that deep dark cave. Geez, lifecoats, lifecoats, lifecoats, lifecoats, Laurie. are that deep dark cave. GEEZE. Lifecoach, lifecoach, like, blue, lifecoach, Lori. I'm just imagining going into that deep dark cave and then the lian comes crawling out, like the girl from the ring.

Mimicurr, get out of my cave! I just sanded down the walls! You crawling into that deep dark cave and it's lifecoach, Lori, in there. Like, what? Rotor, we're gonna pay for you to go on today. crawl into that deep dark cave and it's life coach Laurie in there like what rotor we're gonna pay for you to go on today like a flat flannel light gown and ice cream dripping out of her face like crying blood. I'm still thinking about Leanne being in a deep dark cave and but the thing is that now I'm

thinking about her as being like Nellell, you know, she's like, doesn't understand the world around her. I don't like thinking of her like that. Like thinking of her like that. She's a corny kid. That could be true. She's in her different, she's in a different place.

She's a big old box with a lock on it. I was put in for transport. She's a, yeah, she's on a different season of America Horror Story. By the way, we have to give some credit to Luan. I'm not liant. Well, Luan too. She always does spread it. Oh, right here. Let's give some credit to Luan. Well, thank you. Actually, I just like done Instagram and she's like doing a kaffirot shoot in the Hamptons. I don't know why. I just love Luan. She's just doing a

photoshop for me. Thank you for putting a swimming pool in your living room after I got married. It was considering. Also, I should mention that my money can't buy you class tote did arrive. And I proudly wore a target. And no one said it's a thing. I was so mad. But I'm going to give it a, I'm going to take it to the Hollywood farmers market this weekend.

And let's see what happens then, huh? Oh, girl, you'll probably see posh spice there. That's where I always see her ass. Look for a gigantic sun hat. And someone who's walking like they've got a very thin bamboo stick rammed all the way up their ass right until it touches their brain and cuts it off. I always see Joel McHale there or Jimmy Kimmel. I seen there all the time. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not not exciting as posh spice. So many vegetables.

No, Leanne, she did a little bit of credit because she totally listened to the podcast and she was like tweeting up a storm, not only us, but our listeners last week. And that was so cool of her to do. So she was like, she was going into it. She was like, hashtag saying up vapor, sandpaper. But you know, she was, you know, she was saying as a joke, but kind of like a threat. I know. You that's the thing about texting or tweeting. You never know how it's really meant. It's like sandpaper, exclamation point, and then one of

those little cry faces. I'm like, she's good. She's laughing. Or she should be threatening, you know, to sandpaper our faces off and showing our tears. Squeeze out of our face. Oh, I wish Leanne were in town for a live show in LA because wouldn't that be amazing if she could come? Leanne, if you're in town in LA over Labor Day weekend, let us know. Yeah, well, we'll go to Texas soon. We'll go to Texas. Yeah, we should, we'll definitely put Dallas on our, on our list of places in that point.

And when if we go to Dallas, Leanne, you better show up. So this is basically, I'm just going to move on because I realized I'm still on Lori the life coach scene. Yeah, we're still, we're still waiting a minute. How are you so um Stephanie's like well I need to get any house because I don't like driving car pulls for two hours it sucks and um then she step our life coach lorry it's like how's that girl you make poop jokes with that sweet little thing? And she's like, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa origin of your fight because it is, that's hilarious.

But she was actually just setting us up with the fact that there will be a dog costume competition later and they're going to be added together and it's going to be tense. Yeah. She's like, I just need to be taken care of. I don't want to be unprofessional at a dog costume contest And Lori goes well, you know, I'm proud of you. You're gonna stick up your husband You're gonna work things out with Brandy. You really have learned for yourself how to be empowered because of me Like wait a minute Now excuse me. I'm gonna walk out and please try not to impale yourself on my hair points That's the kind of impairment I like

I said now and then he did it anyway, but I try female Next up Brandy and Carrie yes, so they're going on to lunch and They're talking and Brandy is feeling in certain sort of way because Carrie has passed progressively posted on in social media That carries I'm sorry Carrie has posted pictures of her with Stephanie and being like it's my right or die and Brandy's like It makes me feel sad like I've been replaced Like girl, well if you don't want to be replaced, why don't you respond to a text message once in a while. Okay, I haven't seen her much, but apparently she's definitely is right or die. And then they show an Instagram. I just love when Instagram is used as a weapon. I think that's so funny. Yeah, it's like very effective too. So Carrie comes in, she's like, Hey, how's it going? So Mark has this fashion make or style maker thing. And it's like so great because

there's mannequins and he has to put them together. Like it could be a man and a man or a man and a woman or like a woman and a man or a woman and a woman. Like anyway, but like he just puts together, he's putting together a man and a woman and it is so exciting like god Brandy's just sitting there like so many words Why hasn't she talked about poop yet? Is her mannequin her rider die? I don't get it Well, we can build this thing together to say any standing strong forever nuts. It's not pressed out. You know what I'm saying? Well, this will be a chance for Mark to get his ego strokes because I stroke it a lot, okay?

I'm always stroking Mark in some way Like stroking mark. What I'm saying is I masturbate him a lot She loves talking about how much he's fucking her husband. And every see can be talking about the dog contest like look at all these dogs in costumes. Let me tell you what dog doesn't need a costume marks because it hangs down it barks and then I'm like I will take you for a walk with my mouth. Do you know what I'm saying? Let me let me tell you one thing. You know who's the biggest mannequin here? It's Mark because he's stiff like a mannequin. Am I right? Manicain to you on the move? Because I'm on the move down to his groin. Get it? Mark the mannequin always hard. Okay. And just like

the movie, he comes to life after mid-bind. Get it? Get it, girls. Jim, Sam what I'm talking about. Uh, he has a lot of career opportunities. You know what I'm saying? Because we're lots of story together with the mannequin. Get it? Huh? No different movie? Okay, either way, I blew up. Oh, I'm brandy. Mine derbs are shot. The party was beautiful by the way. Sorry I had to leave.

And she's like, well, I just want to make sure that, you know, you're not thinking like bitch, you're so my friend, you know, because I would never do that. Brandy's like, I do think that. And it's okay that I think that. Oh, good. I'm glad you just pat yourself on back for being petty She's like getting text from Lori the life coach on the sign She's like Lori the life coach said that her writer dies Stephanie wait a second So they're like so Brandi is annoyed right now about this text message. This is whole text message basket. We're in last week Stephanie texted Brandy saying that Carrie told that that tells her that

Leanne is up to her old ways and care like, why I never ever said that. So now that doesn't even sound like me. Not even remotely. How could I say it was too busy blowing my husband? Unless that was typed with Mark's penis while I was stroking his ego. I don't think so. Yeah. So Brandy shows the text and then carries like,

oh, well, so then she's like, well, maybe it's because I was talking about Leanne and then she misinterpreted and just threw my name in there. So my first thought was she's just lying. You know, I figured she's lying. She probably texted Stephanie and the Stephanie texted Brandy or whatever. And that's why I'm glad we have little clips like the one we could see later.

Well, little clip later still leaves it a little murky. We'll get into that. So, um, so now Kerry starts to cry because she's like, shit, I'm caught. So she starts to cry. I just want to be friends with everyone, you know, I'm brandy's like, this is the problem with Stephanie. She always puts people against each other or whatever, you know, yeah, which is, I'm brandy's like, this is the problem with Stephanie. She always puts people against each other. Whatever, you know, yeah, which is, I don't think we've seen that ever, really, ever.

And Carrie's like, I just want to have good girlfriends. I want to trust everyone. Yeah, okay. So next, trolley. Bum-dum. Bum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum. It's like running. I was like, oh God, I hope Leanne is running behind that trolley and is under it Cape Fear style I don't we're gonna go in trolley

Watch out Julia Someone's hunger for an appetizer It's like that episode of the Twilight Zone. There's like something on the troll. I've been like, I think Leanne Locke and is hanging on to the side of the trolley. Every time they looked in the window, Leanne's not there. I just like, you guys can crash.

I like the idea of like a antique trolley just sitting there and it sees Leanne coming and she chases it to power it. It's like, wow, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And you know when she chases a trolley, she runs like the like, like, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing,'m talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. be okay. Sometimes movies just get to be too real. I also love the idea of Leanne putting a speed bomb on a trolley and everyone very easily just walking off of it while it's just going slowly through the street. Now morning you trolley, if you go below five miles an hour, you're dead. I'm giving you a flat tire. an hour. You're good. I'm giving you a flat tire. You truly work as over. Unfortunately, it's not Liam behind the trolley at all. It's leading into Deandra or Dandra. Oh, yeah. You guys may call her. Dandra. Your name is kind of pretty. No, it's really pretty.

Actually, especially when it's written down, it's very pretty, but it sounds like dandruff. Look, it's an evolving, it's an evolving opinion on dandruff. Because I was, I was like, it's not a megalenaing, that's actually a very pretty name, especially dandruff, which I think is what it's supposed to be. Hasn't she had to put up with enough in her life? Oh yeah, I feel really bad for her. I'm feeling, I'm feeling for Deandra right now. Okay, guys. So Deandra goes to meet up with Jackie, one of the cosmetic designers that her mom's company.

Now, you know her mom's a real terror because she forces all her employees to have her same haircut. As you put it, so really early last week, power Mima hair. Yes, Mima hair. But this isn't power Mima hair. This is like a little longer.

She's like, I'm power me my. Yeah, no, we're gonna have me my hair. Yeah, this is like, it's like modified. It's like an homage, but it can never be as good. Now, and I love this. Welcome, honey. Welcome to the factory. It is so good to see you, Dandra. And then, well, she does that pass through the thing which is I was waiting for you and the Andrew's like Oh, I know I'm so sorry I was late triophers back. I said oh no, it's fine. I'm like if it was fine. Why did you say it? I'm no it's fine. I'm just sitting here at the front desk there and at that fire alarm It's pretty much all the sitting here would be nice for you about some art

I'm not saying you should I'm just saying it would be nice on days that you're just running behind Because you're last important glad the factory didn't run on any kind of schedule You know with all those people back there putting their hair nets on time Now before we go in to see the conveyor belts are gonna need to put on a hard hat unless you got some helmet hair like I do okay great Hey, before you go see that conveyor belt I would like to convey that it sounds like I want to bail to you, but I really don't I respect you I would like to convey that it sounds like I want to bail to you, but I really don't. I respect you! Welcome to the Factory! I mean, even though you have the job that I've been working for for 20 years, I respect you, dear D'Andra.

So, what's really great about this is that we learn more about this company. The best part about D'Andra is that every time she talks, the producers show more and more photos of D in her youth. Like every photo is a gem, every single one. And you know there are millions of them because you know D wants to have a photo in every occasion. Yes, they totally went through every single box to get... They had the moment of this woman's life, yeah. Yeah, it was brilliant. So they're going through the compare belt. They're looking at the production,

they've got their hair nuts in, and Deandra tells us that she went to natural, a pathic doctor school or something like that. So that way she can, she's qualified to make new products and she really wants to make a new product because the line is getting a little stale. And Jackie's like, here's my idea that you're feel, you can steal like you normally do.

Let's make it a lixer from Snow feel, you can steal like you normally do. Let's make an elixir from Snow Out, and you can only get it from the Swiss Alps. That was so funny. She's like, you know, I wanna really make sure that you get your opinions in there. So, do you have any ideas about new products? Snow Out, gee.

That's what I think it was coming to me as I was staring at that damn fight pole for fire alarm sign Wait for you when you didn't mean to be late. I'm still not mad about it Snow LG no one's doing it yet Because I was sitting there. I was staring that fire alarm. I was like gosh I'd have more fun watching LG grow and I thought boom Snow LG

Because you know you flake a lot. I thought snow flakes, I-L-G, it just comes together. And Dan just like, well, I'm really good with ingredients. Okay. Snow, I-L-G is new. It is unique, you know. Um, stevia, what do you think it's about? Okay. Sodium nitrates, because that's what's in bacon.

Okay, am I wearing my glasses or do, does everyone just realize I'm smart right now? How about this? We put some cardboard in the mortar and pestle, add some olive oil. It's just a paste and put on our faces. We call it box, the box treatment. It makes you look young, like a box. Have you guys thought of Gulam? I'm sorry, just reading the back of my teamy thing because I have nothing with product ingredients.

I have nothing near me. I'm like, have you thought about taking a Dave and Buster's card and extracting essential oils from it? Man, what are we doing with an approximate? Now, what goes into a lampshade? Guys, I was thinking about releasing some O'Lean facials. Okay. Now, is anybody going to get mad if their face has diarrhea? No, because you're gonna look thinner tomorrow

Okay, let's write this down Jackie. You got it. Oh, I sure do. I just live to make your life easier honey Okay, let's just workshop this for a second. What if we throw a lean cuisine into the centrifuge, okay? Celebrity beef you never know if you're just to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. What do we get? You know what? You know what? The Andra. I was thinking to make a something.

It's going to be called Bonavandra. Okay. Both of that name something after me. Jackie's just like dreaming of the day. She could roast this bitch and pluck her bones out. Take her job. We've seen this movie before. We've seen scream.

We know we know that when the mask comes off as Jackie, Like her bones out. Take her down. Yeah. We've seen this movie before. We've seen Scream. We know. We know that when the mask comes off, it's Jackie angry that she's been passed over for Deandra. We know. But Jackie would never be that quiet because she's too welcoming and nice, you know, it's like her southern way. She'd be like, treeberry more.

It's Jackie. I'm in the hat. I'm in the hat. It's the word that's really killer. Did you make this J.P. pop for me? You are so sweet. I killed your boyfriend by the hat. I mean the hat. Did you make this jiffy pup for me? You are so sweet. I killed your boyfriend by the way. Don't be startled when the lights go on in the back yard, okay? I'm so sorry to leave a mess. Hi Rose McGowin. Listen, be careful around that garage door, okay? She's just mad because someone was late.

Like the entire scream series. Listen, I hate to break it to you, but I've been working with Skete-Loritch, okay? Where is that Skete anyway? Skete, Skete, Skete. So funny, okay. So Stephanie is for Travis and Garth. So scene number three. What is wrong with us?

Stephanie is, by the way, this shows how much we are loving Dallas this season, because when we are inspired to go on these crazy riffs, that means that like things are firing on this show. So Stephanie and Travis are going to look at a new house. He's like, I want to look on new house down in Dallas. So they go this house. He's excited about it. They walk in. There's a pool in the living room. Now when she first said there's a pool in the living room, you know, I'm thinking it's her being silly. Like there's like some water future maybe, but there's actually a swimming pool in the living room. And I love thinking it's her being silly, like there's like some water future maybe, but there's actually a swimming pool in the living room. And I love that there's a bunch of pennies in it because Travis mentioned, he's like, well, this house is real cool, babe.

You know, it's got a big backyard close to the city and it's going to auction. And it's a good deal. I just love it, which means, you know, someone's getting foreclosed on. And I just like the thought of the family who thought they'd be the pool in their living room getting foreclosed on and standing around and just having the kids throw in pennies and making wishes like that.

I know. And I mean, what's our wish that we can keep your house? Wish that we had some car room, that we had some like planks to put over this pool so we can get from one side of the living room easily. You know, how do you entertain with the pool in the middle of the room? I don't understand that. And also, how is that the living room? Isn't that the foyer?

Yeah, I mean, if it was the foyer, like maybe it was weird. I had to say, I agree, it was weird. And on top of that, if you have a family with small children, you don't want a swimming pool on the... You don't want a swimming pool on the house. Yeah, it's stupid. Like that's why, yeah. So only stupid poor people who, yeah, it's gross.

Okay, so I'm reading my notes as like a, but because the realtor, yeah, I just stumbled upon this realtor note. She's like, hello, I'm Bar my notes as like a but because I just realized her Yeah, I just stumbled upon this real what you're not She's like hello. I'm Baruchia Watson from Kala. Will A lot of people would pay for this pool it's a centerpiece. It's for the rich and famous Yeah, I am from Europe and we I see lots of rich and famous people all the time like Georgia open horn you may have heard of her She has pooled in her living room

I'm a living room, I mean backyard but you know, semantics Anyway, rich and famous, rich and famous You're not the queen Queen Elizabeth entire first floor of Buckingham Palace, all swimming pool I like this, she's saying that I've grown up in Europe and Africa and

actually nothing like this. I'm like yeah. All right, I can't you've never gone to Africa and seen a pool in the living room. I don't believe you. At least a puddle. I see the pools down in Africa. The rich and famous pools. She says rich and famous over and over again And yeah, I think who falls for this shit Travis. He's like Travis. It's for the rich and famous She stopped fingering your belly button weirdo Seriously, so then they go upstairs and she's like oh, yes this toilet is for the rich and the famous and it's like one of those Mechanic like the it's one of those electronic toilets that I had the dream about last week

Where I had a dream that to bring to have one of those and I broke it. That's what it was. I should realize it's a sign Well, you should have had this tutorial first because she's like look at the batons Does one button does does your right cheek? This button left here This button corn hole this one makes it feel like you're sitting on a construction corn This one makes a sweater out of butthas This one I'm like how many buttons do you need on an ass cleaning toy that lady? Oh, so and then they go out to the back yard and like oh and also the house

comes with the black swan. I'm like that's never anything I ever want to hear about House. No kidding. Like there is a perhaps imaginary mulecunis. Linging around is gonna take over my career? No I don't think so. Like Stephanie doesn't realize that she's been fighting with herself this old time. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Barbara. Barbara's confusion about text. She's like, oh my god, I did send that text. Oh my god, after I read that, wait a minute.

Ma ha. Oh god. Brandia's her black swan. She's not black swan. It's just called paler swan The black swan's like You really hurt me It actually makes sense because Leanne does sort of look like Barbara Hershey

She does yeah, she's like you get out there and you fight for your job, Brandy. You are a star, Brandy. You don't let me win. Winbunate your wings. How about the engine in your golf car? This is me. I didn't train you to be a Dallas cheerleader for 20 years for you to give up. For that's definitely take your job on this this show you go out there and you win and so they're standing outside and the ladies like look at the backyard it's like being in New York sent well park for the rich and famous there's like a tough to grass in a

highway yeah it's like a highway and some tent. There's probably also gonna be foreclosed on. These four kids who live there. And Travis is like, babe, we gotta buy this because it's going to auction. It's like who knew a couple who wanted to pull into living room or living beyond their means? Yeah, she's like, you know, here's the thing.

I has a lot of nice things, but it's missing some things, you know, like flooring in the living room. Or I guess, house, you know, a place for my family or me hiding. You're on one of your rampages. You know, I don't like them. I like them, but you know, sometimes you need to be alone. I need to be away from knives. So, and also, where the hideous lawn sculptures, I don't get it. He is always trying to keep his temper in check, and it looks very difficult for him, and it worries me for her. Yeah, he looks to me like he always just finished wrestling an alligator. Like, yes, he's like a little sweaty, his hair's a little messed up, and he's like,

he's amped up from it, but he's got to sort of keep it together because it's sort of weird. Why are you just rusting an alligator? Gotta have a hobby. So Travis is like, well, if we get a good buy, we can spend the money. And she's like, oh no, you get excited and buy. And we're not going to do that, OK?

I'm going to look at other houses and we're going to choose together, OK? Because this is independent me okay? Independent me looking with you together it's not co-dependent it's being independent together and making decisions at the same time and he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's about to fucking lose his mind he won't look her in the eye. Yeah, always hearing his foyer pool, foyer pool, foyer pool, foyer pool. Trying to bust me around.

This bitch is on my mind! And he just goes running out the house. It doesn't matter if there's a door right there. He just goes to each single wall. He's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'll take it! Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom I'm both one for little rhyme pun there, huh? So next up is Carrie and Mark on their way to the style maker award, which is being held at Tutsis of Dallas. What do I mean? I feel like we can't be the only ones who are thinking that Tutsi lost her moment here. Wait, was it Tutss or 2Tsis? I thought it said 2Tsis.

It was 2Tsis. No, it's a 2Tsis, but... Actually, 2Tsis is probably better because there were a lot of really 2Tsis outfits in there. The one that won was basically something 2Tsis wore on the soap opera she was in in the movie. Either way, it was hilarious because Marcus Schmoozing with these people

and he's like, I have a problem. I have an addiction to Brunella Fuccinelli. And then one of the judges, he's like, oh yeah, we used to wear a lot of belly-wade. And he's like, oh yeah, belly-wade, I've worked with them, love them. And Kerry's like, guys, just to make, you know, just to make it clear, Kerry is not gay. Okay?

You just love style. Oh, yeah, Mark. He's European. Which he is. Swiss. Okay. And he likes holes, my holes, like the cheese. Yeah, mate.

Always wanting to have sex. And we are not here because Tutsi is a famous movie for gay people. No, we are here because this is a wonderful cause. So Mark is now like somehow he makes it over to his presentation without walking in a circle on account of his two right socks. And he gets there and he's presenting to the judges. He's like, this is my signature look. Most people say one pattern for an outfit,

but I think it looks better with a few of them. And you know that somewhere in Resa was like, bitch, so my look! That's so white, lady! This guy, Mark, the fashion icon or whatever is wearing what look like faded olive green like dockers of some kind. And then a checkered sports coat, he looks terrible. And then we find out why he's carry dress him.

But he's at this fashion thing. And I thought who's what man is going to go to a fashion thing dress like that? They all were. Yeah, they all were. Is that a new thing? Maybe in Dallas. I mean, Dallas is a fashion capital of Dallas. Oh, good. So he's like, well, this is my jet set chick, this mannequin, because this girl looks like she just got off a plane in Milan. I was like, Oh, God, we just watched the real house.

What's the nature of the Milan? Not a good pitch. And he's like, and this guy has glasses and a lot of gold, which says, I'm really rich and useless. They all laugh. And the judge is like, um, okay, bye, but caught you in a trick because Billy Reid is gold, which says, I'm really rich and useless. They all laugh. I'm so happy. And the judge is like, OK, bye, but I got you in a trick, because Billy Reed is actually a character

played by Lisa Renon, Days of Our Lives years ago. So you lose. So we then cut to Cameron, who stuck with her kids. And she's asking them to pack clothes and stuff for Cabo. And she goes, first she goes, we're all going gonna pick out our toys that we're gonna take to Cabo and then put them in there, does that sound good? We need to pack our toys, guys, and then she tells us, you know, if you tell one of my children to do something straight up, they will look at you like, no way.

I'm like, because you didn't tell them to do something straight up, you were like, guys, are we gonna do this? Can we put some things? I'm like, your kids are going to be so spoiled. They're going to be, they already are. They just looked at her like, the kid, her daughter, guess, we're playing. And you're interrupting, Poo, Tegringa. Now you are not going to call me a chopped salad, gun lady. Okay. she's like, well, guess what? Whoever packs first gets a special surprise and then she goes, one of my tricks is gameplay.

They think they're running the show? I'm running the show. So Cameron is like, pack your toys, want to to and she goes, hey, honey, what are those? And the kid goes, duckies, she goes, oh, so you didn't know what the ducks were. You don't know what a duck is. But I like a life like duck. But I'd like that there was like a sense of disappointment. Like she thought it might be something better. She's like, oh, oh, I always called those lions. She just looks so confused. Like, I'll bet you think I didn't know what duck meant.

I was kidding. I like people to think I'm stupid. So dad comes home and he's like, hey, everybody, how's your day? And the girl's like, huh, I have a boyfriend. So funny. He's like, well, I hope he has a plane.

So basically Cameron tells us more about herself. And she's like, I'm a very good sport. I swim around them all these with him for sharks one time. But I got a Chanel bag out of it. It's girl. Um, I like also that she's, she starts talking about how she's going to be missing this dog costume contest. And she's all bummed. She's like, it is the perfect opportunity to ask people

if they want pink dog food. Like, I feel like the answer is still gonna be no. And I love him. He's like, huh, you gotta give up this pink dog food idea. It's like, it's like the dumbest thing of it. Like, I love you and I get that like, you're hotter and taller or whatever, but like really just pick something where you're not constantly saying pink dog food over and over.

Like literally be anything you could sell children, but as long as I don't have to hear a pink dog food one more fucking time. Please. She's like, but my dad owns a treat company. So I'm really involved in the business. And this could be multi million dollars. I know what I'm doing. Like you just you didn't know what it that was. And he came to homeschool and see through shirt. So yeah, why don't you practice rolling your arms first before we move on to pink dog food? Why don't you

just learn that your daughter just called you a white bitch? Okay, it's rap. I'm like, come back for me. So then we go back to Titsis and we get, we finally can find out who the winner is of the big style challenge and the winner, the style maker of Dallas for 2016 is Guillermo. Isn't it always a guy named Guillermo? Always. Always. I feel like every time there's some fashion thing, they're like Guillermo.

Like on any TV or film, what the hell is in the numerology for that name? And Mark is so sad. It probably has to do with that terrible watch he put on his mannequin. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh, also, what was I going can say to the judges? Okay. So all the guys dressed like Mark, all the fashion designers, I was like, oh, it's so this is a Dallas thing. And then when they announced Guillermo and they showed his, it's like brightly colored feather boas. Yeah. I mean, what the hell? It's like colored boas on a checkered jacket. What the fuck, Dallas? Yeah, I thought one of his mannequins looked pretty good, but the other one with like the the the boas were a problem. I actually thought Marx was better. Yeah, I mean, it was all terrible. And also, they were in a store. I thought this was like a big thing. No, they were at tootsies

They were at tootsies of Dallas Okay, which is like better than Kaffees Jessica Lynn cries every time she passes by Carry's like well, you know Mark's not all about winning, but he's still going to get a trophy from me. Get it? I'm still going to treat him like a winner. Get it, guys.

Deandra is like, I'm going to take off my giant glasses now. So I no longer have to see this ridiculous display. Guys, Mark is a little bit choked up because he didn't win. And now I'm going gonna be choked. Get it. Get it guys. I'm gonna show him my Swiss Alps tonight. Guys, we're going on the matter bone. So they're like, gross, please stop talking about Mark's dick or whatever.

Yeah. And, uh, so, De. And so Deandra leaves. Deandra leaves. Deandra leaves. And then it's just Stephanie and. And uh, Carrie. Stephanie and Carrie. Yeah, because they're not talking about what I was going to say now.

You do it. Yeah. So Carrie and Seth are talking about the text that Carrie is talking to Seth about the text that she had sent Brandy. We're, we're,, where Carrie felt she was thrown under the bus for lining Leanne. So when I see the word Carrie, I think of Carrie from the good wife, which was a boy. Isn't that weird?

Sorry. So I was like, wait a minute, Stephanie's talking to a boy named Carrie, so I was thinking of the husband, Mark, and I got confused. Yeah, no, it is confusing. So then now we see a flashback to a few days, I guess the day of Mark's, the last party from, from last episode, where Carrie and Stephanie had met. This is after Carrie had talked with Leanne on the bridge. And so Carrie, Carrie basically says,

yeah, she wants to talk. I don't know, I kind of feel like she might be puppeteering, but then again, she said she's turning over new leaves. So I guess we should give her the benefit of the doubt. So then Stephanie texted Brandy to be like, hey, I'm just warning you, like Liam may not be up to any good. So here's the thing. They're all kind of wrong here because

Carrie should have just not said anything about puppeteering, right? She should have said, didn't need to say anything. She literally did not need to say anything. So Carrie did say something unnecessarily. Right. Stephanie, though, should not have texted Brandy, especially if she's in a feud, that was a weird move and it was poor.

And Stephanie did make it sound like it was worse than what Carrie did say. So I think they're all kind of involved. Yeah. And Stephanie was just really trying to tell brandy like, I'm still your friend. Don't be manipulated. But of course, you know, you're not going to get massaged shit with Leanne because she will be still screaming about this at the reunion. Like if someone gets a fork in the eye, it's because of a text. Like, this is like the simplest thing ever and it took me two episodes to even understand what was happening. Just like, wait, what?

So there's a trolley. So we know there's like some serious conflict coming up. And I really like their music this season. Yeah. Well, it's like a dance, it's like a groove, a jazz groove dance makes. Well, I don't know if you noticed it, but at one point later on, Stephanie was getting ready for something and they piped in the real househouse of Atlanta stock music. When, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

I was like, wait a second, this is reserved for Miss Candy Burris, not for Stephanie. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun Well, it's like that time one ladies of London when they they put lyrics on top of Like one of the like the real house of Orange County like stock music things. Oh, so mad with Beverly Hills Okay, so D so Dan we're at Deandra's house. She has a giant zebra hide just dangling off this staircase. It looks terrible. But then we also have D that's there. D is here, Paramima. And they sit down on the couch to have, they're going to have a business meeting.

And you know what's going to get off, off you know that D is really mad because she Opens it up by saying what are you up to girlfriend? Yeah, that's never good. It's like well, we're on television and we are I'm cool mom and you are little child learning to be school's mom Also this I have to note that this conversation starts off with the mom going, come long, Dandra, I've got a busy day. Because it's important later. That is important. I didn't pick that up. That is really important.

I just read it right now, but it becomes important later. So Dandra is like, my mom is terrifying. Okay. Like literally the scariest person I've ever seen. Okay, do you have that picture of her with the red hair? Put that one on.

Oh my God, look at my mom. I wanna die. Look hair? Put that one on. Oh my god, look at my mom. I want to die. Like, look at her with this red hair. Oh my god, seriously? I still wake up at the middle of the night. I'm terrified now. I took a picture of the mom with her with her red hair. I will be posting it on our Instagram because it's just too amazing.

I'm swimming with sharks every day of my life. And one day, that shark pelt will be right next to that zebra. Guaranteed. day of my life and one day that shark pelt will be right next to that zebra. Guaranteed. So we do get to see some footage. They're talking about like building out the company because Deandra feels like it's stagnated a little bit. They need to get more new products, new marketing, new look, new labels, all this stuff. And one of the things they need to do, she says, is grow there, grow there, sort of like they're like they're marketing. They're social. They're social because really all they ever do is sell it on Christian TV. And then we see footage of them selling it on Christian

TV. And it's just like these this segment of the show just keeps getting richer and richer and richer. I mean, the amount of footage and photos of these two that just boggles my mind, it's everyone is more amazing than the next. Yeah, I love that Christian TV segment. Barbara, now did Jesus need moisturizer? No, he did not, but he was dead at 30. Okay, thanks to him,

we're allowed to live in till 60, but we still want to look like Jesus when he moved that boulder out front of that damn cave came out of guy. That's why you were going to buy some stevia green tea moisturizer. Now, me as can you hold this for a second? Mia, I'm your daughter. Whatever. So, Dandra is really, you really see what she's saying here because she's like, my mom is a nightmare, but I will get some ideas in. Because so far, they've made it look like, well, Dandra's probably lazy and rich and hasn't had to work. So, what does she care?

But now, she's like, well, Mom,'t had to work. So what does she care? But now she's like, well, mom, I went to the factory are materials, wetter size outdated. We have to change. We must change new products now. And her mom's like, oh, really? So you just want me to just give you $500,000 to my role. Hmm.

Well, you may understand factory, but you don't get the financial business. This is not standing on a moving line of chocolates, even your little friend are trying to shove down their mouth faster than the other. Okay. I said, that won't work. And then, so the end, I was like, I just feel like I still have my training wheels on. And he's like, well, when you quit training those wheels every day at those charities and they come off in your office, it's you I'm not even sure what that means, but it felt very insulting Remember when we took those training wheels off where were you?

Splat dab in the middle of the cold sack run over by someone on the bike. You don't know how to do things with that training wheels Listen, Hanoh, you're 50 some years old at this point. Those training wheels are just wheels, okay? Just face it. But mom, when you get one of those hair nets off those training hair nets, let's see how you're here today. Yeah, okay. I think it's just all about the hair. I think if Dandro really wore the hair net with some hair spray under it every day and Developed some like power me my daughter hair

She would be taking a little bit more seriously. She needs helmet hair But the mom is sticking to it. She's like you are good. That is the way it's gonna be Dandro That is the way it is and she goes well Okay, mom. Well, thanks for coming by, but you know, how busy I am. And she goes, huh, I'll tell you what, we'll pick up on this conversation next time. You do have time. Okay, factory person. No, she said, she said, we will pick up this conversation next time. If you do have time, as in like, oh, oh, if you have time, I guess you're too busy for a mate. When she's the same woman who at the top, the conversation's like, I'm busy. Yeah.

Oh, you're busy? Well, guess what I'm busy to, trying to get up off this gigantic couch. Why would you buy a couch that goes back five feet? Sandra. Why? She was struggling to get off that couch. I don't really want this. It's like really low to the ground. There's nothing to lean on. You're never going to get your get off that couch. I don't really want to. It really was. It's like really low to the ground.

There's nothing to lean on. You're never going to get your way on that couch. Is this your way of saying you want me to go on wipe out because I will not. I will not. So Stephanie is playing with her kids and she's like, do that magic trick. And he's like, well, pizza from behind my e-woo.

She's like, haha, pizza from behind my ear will. She's like, ha ha. So Travis comes home. And he's like, hey, I've got a gift trader, Joe champagne, babe. Hey, not getting it at all. And he's like, yeah, so guess what? I bought the house. She's like, was a bargain at 5.1

million she goes I don't want to live there who wants to live in a house like that and he goes who doesn't want it there's a polo Poland living room! Don't you want to live with the fear that every day our children could potentially drown? That's exciting! Or that I'll throw you in there because he's right in the throw in there. The last time she walked that through it. And he totally would do that too. And she's also like, we have two dogs. Our house will be a mess.

They're just gonna be constantly going in the pool and walking around. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. So she's like, Who does that? Who spends $5 million like that? Oh, it's like we went on e-bam, bought a house. He's like, welcome to the 2017 bank.

So they're like, she's like, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna live there. We're just gonna have to flip it. And in my mind, I'm like, good luck flipping that house. Yeah, I'm not kidding. It's huge and it's already like, like aside from the actual living room, the rest of it was out of it,

it was like really expensive things. There was like a $250,000 chandelier, there was like curtains that are $100,000, it's like you're not flipping that shit, you're not tearing that shit out. Yeah, she goes, well it's not fair that he makes a decision and I just hop along in life.

And he's like, hop and she starts hopping. Like, okay, you guys, it might be time to call a life coach, lady, okay? Lori and I like when he told her, you know, most people feel this much money, and most people spend this much money and they're excited. They don't just stand there looking constipated. And she's like, I feel constipated. Good fight, guys. Yeah.

When it gets to the I can't poop because you've made me so mad, it's time to move on to, lean. Yeah, exactly. Something about mentioning poop, it like causes her to emerge. Leanne's, she's putting a hot dog costume on her dog, which is actually really cute.

I loved it. And I like that Leanne doesn't have like one of those little fluffy cute dogs. Yeah. It's like a small dog. This is Carly. Sorry, this is Carly. She's, we're dressing her like a hot dog because it looks like one. Get it because she's a dog. She's hot. Ain't long. I would make a carly. Get it cuz she's a dog. She's hot Ain't long I would make her like get it. Carly left my joke. Carly look I don't make her do anything that I wouldn't do so she gets into a hot dog, but hot dog costume We're mimicors Literally she's mimicking me. How do you steam the end of a weeny?

Just trying to steam her hot dog thing. We're the hot dogs Dallas Jesus, where's the weiener? Never said that before. So Stephanie, everyone's getting ready for the dog thing, obviously. So Stephanie, she goes, want to do something fun with mommy today. It's a doggy costume contest. And biscuit is dressed like R2D2. R2D2? R2D to R2D to R2D to R2D to German

That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great

That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great That's a great that it's not working so she just throws the mic on the ground. I was like, okay, this is now my

favorite cast member of this kid. Yeah. So, and then, you know, it's just like generic, like, getting ready stuff. And then everyone starts to meet. And so, um, Leanne shows up, uh, Leanne and Brandy meet up this picnic table at the dog at the costume competition. And Brandy's like, at the dog, at the costume competition, and Brandy's like, I had a horrible week. So yeah, we're happy. Hey, hi, how's it going? Great, great. I had a horrible.

It's like, what happened? Did someone die? No. I saw Stephanie. It's a go. Well, first she goes, well, you know what's everything that's happening. And Andrew's like, uh, what's that? Well, are you having about, you have an overbearing mother to you, you'll never let your wings

fly. No. Did your mother slit your couch on the way out today because she was mad at you? Oh, okay. This is about a text. Sounds great. Can't wait to hear about it. Oh great. So you just you didn't realize also that your career is wrapped up in snow algae. Okay. Oh great. No, you definitely had a hard way too. I'm sure. So you didn't have to put on a hair nap. Just to please some woman who wanted to slit your

throat and take your job. Oh, okay. It's a text. Okay. Okay. I see. I see what's happening. Oh, I have to mention one thing when Brandy was with her kid, she goes, have you ever had a friend who hurt your feelings? I love when Brandy goes to her children. So like, speak what she's done it before too. And the kid goes, I have a counselor at school who helps me with that.

She's like, maybe I should talk to her. Yeah, maybe you should. You fucking weirdo. She's go to the school counselor, like whatever you need to do to it. Yeah, seriously. So, um, then, um, uh, there is a Leanne and Brander and and Deanne, they're rehashing the text controversy and Leanne's all matched. Like, well, why can't she just own her own shit? Hey, you know what, what I don't like about shit? When it's least, own it. I don't see it like own your shit and handle your shit.

My God, this lady is in a dog park for sure. Your dog costume, charity world is over. This lady could be talking to anybody in the dog park for sure. Your dog costume, Generity World is over. This lady could be talking to anybody in the dog park. Yeah, I'm that shit, pick that shit up. You know what you need to shit bag. I've got some right here on my leash. So Stephanie's, she's definitely shows up and she sees Leanne and she's like, that's an amazing costume. Leanne goes, yup.

Leanne, the intermediary. Yup, well, maybe you could text it and I'll check the account and see if she has time to look at our message. Mm-hmm. So, brand-y and stuff, and things are tense, and they immediately get picked up to, like, not really picked up,

but like they have to go into judge duty. So they're walking around, they're judging all these dog costumes, and then they're like answering the dog questioner the music is all tense. Like, what will happen? What sort of tension is brewing under the surface of this dog competition? And they're like bass group competition dogs costume. It's like, Dallas Cowboys. Why is this music so tense when we're looking at dogs dressed up as witches? Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Well, it was funny. It was the tense music wasn't to be like the expensive who's gonna win. It was like look at the tension between these girls as they judge a dog competition. Well, I like when they sat down with the MC and he's like, okay guys, we need to talk about

best group costume and they won't speak. It's like, okay then. Like they did nothing. It was so good. Also, Brandy is wearing a white like sweater poncho that looks like a straight jacket, which is very fitting. Yes. I don't want that out. So back at the table, Kerry, Kerry is saying, well, we were talking about how everyone needs to talk face to face. And he's like, yeah, well, let's start with the kicks. Let's talk about the text. Let's talk smiley face to smiley face. Okay. I did not appreciate the poop emoji. And Gary's like God she makes everything about herself. Godboard. But the Stephanie's start saying something and the land just goes,

please watch the smurk off your face. I'm not smurking. Am I smurking? Maybe I am. I don't know. Am I smurking? I don't think I am. If you think I won't rip this dick off my head and get down to the bottom of this text, you've got another thing coming and you don't know Liam walking. I think you are talking about a totally armless tech straight now, like in a hotdog costume. Yes, put the knife back in the bun.

It'll be okay. There's dogs here. Yeah. So Stephanie is trying to explain the text message, everything. And she's like, well, she's like, I just think that you're really scary and manipulating. And Liam goes, look in the mirror, bitch. I love that Leon can take the you are argument and just make it so damn entertaining. It's like so much better. You know, do you imagine if she was like the evil queen in Snow white and the mirror tried to fuck with her. You're dead, mirror. You're reflection world is over. So Leanne's like, all this talk that goes on beyond the scene needs to stop.

Okay, you wanna be a bridge under troubled water? Music. You know what they say about troubled water under a bridge? It's below me Don't throw me under a trolley cuz I'm hanging on under there Following your family, so she's like love you have a problem. You can always come talk to me, Leanne I'm like you texted bring me a said to talk on me and what does that have to do with old ways? And what are my old ways? Anyway, it's like, I think we've already a shitting in the basket.

You're old ways. Yeah, we're gonna have a basketball and throwing knives into apples on top of people's heads. You think that we know you're old ways. Slapping trollies, threatening to murder Marie and abacement. Excessive blood. slapping trolleys, threatening to murder Marie in a basement. Um, you're definition of my definition of murder are different. Listen, I clipped this week.

You want to talk old, you want to talk about old ways. If it were old me, we'd be getting on the scrambler right now, and settling this mono, mono. So Stephanie's like, well, I'm sorry, but you're not sorry. See how easily it rose off your tune. She's definitely goes, she's dressed like a whiny, but she's acting like a dick. It's like that would have been so much more awesome if she hadn't already called herself a dick before. I know, Stephanie, you got screwed. Yeah, you totally got edited. Yeah. Down girl. So then Deandra's like, well, why haven't you two, because now it's

back to Stephanie and Brandy a little bit, because they're like, okay, enough with this. So Deandra's like, so I have a question. Why haven't you two talked about your problems? Like, isn't that what you should do? It seems like this is a really simple answer. She's like, if these bitches have one minute in my eye message, you're right. Just one minute. Look at my mother. Look at this picture of her with a copper hair, okay?

Look at her from 1997, copper hair, all right? Holding a can of facial cream and watch Holder pads and a brooch, okay? Stay at that. Now tell me you guys still have problems with each other, okay? This is what I like. Everybody just hugs immediately. It's like, oh,

that could be so much worse. We're so, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. To shoot. Um, Stephanie's like, well, we have to talk about it alone. She goes, well, why didn't you start at the party? She tried and you can't literally stop her. And, brand, it was like, it wasn't the right time. You could have seen I was so amped up.

I couldn't stop talking. I was, I was more worried about being charming and talking to everybody in the room. So she starts crying. She's like, oh my kids miss you. We're hurting people. We love. I just been artist for years. I'm on. It travels by the house. There's a bone living around. Okay, well we could talk on the phone. And then Leanne gets mad and starts

tugging at her weamy neck. Like she doesn't like this promise of a truce. So suddenly this weamy's getting hot. It's hot inside the weeny weeny roast. This weeny is roasted y'all. And that brings us to the end of the housewives of Dallas, the real housewives of Dallas. Super funny, super funny. It's really.

That was fun. Really going strong this season. So much fun. So if you do not know anybody watching this, tell your friends to watch this show, tell them to get off their bum knuckles and watch this. Yeah, it's good. It's really good. Also, what's good is our live show. So come see us in LA in a week and a half for our big Labor Day weekend show followed by us coming home the next day. Jeff Lewis, you know, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Irma, Gerard, and do you know what I almost forgot to do today?

What? I almost forgot to say happy birthday to Kyle Rubert. Honorable. Good old old friends on your internet, Kyle. We'd love you, babe. Happy birthday. Kyle is having a party homie love you mom God damn it after Lord remember I can I kill you out

Yeah you requested a patty the phone birthday though I see happy birthday Kyle happy day Kyle We love you bet everyone else we will talk to you tomorrow. Well I mean Kyle too We'll talk to you tomorrow too. Watchrocraftens.com for tickets. New ads. Bye. Go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.