Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Gang Green

Episode Date: November 1, 2018

It's time for D'Andra's Green Miracle party on The Real Housewives of Dallas, and Mama Dee is here to slay. We also talk about Debra Winger on WWHL and malls. This week's bonus is about getting lost in Los Angeles, the new Sabrina, and Get a Room. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

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And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on ye old braves I'm Ronnie. That's been over there. Happy it. Hey, what's going on? Nothing. It's a day after how the ween little hungover from pietting It's November we made it November first. I can't believe it's already November of this year Just flew by I feel just like yesterday that I was doing whenever I did on New Year's,

which I don't remember. Oh yeah, I was at my friend's house. Wow, time flies. Yeah. I was, you know, kind of in hipster comedy LA for Halloween. So it was a lot of like breaking bad characters and, you know, hooker nurses, as is always the year in Hollywood. And today, the rent monster arrived. Oh, yeah

Scariest monster of all the Spooky's Lucy the landlord honey. Do you have your rent check? It's like the scariest sound and it happens every month. Okay, so everybody welcome to this show It's Real Housewives of Dallas day before we start. Are you ready for some quick plugs? Welcome to this real housewives of Dallas day before we start are you ready for some quick flugs next week? We are gonna be doing this very recap real housewives of Dallas and Seattle walk. I mean Seattle So everybody come there. It's Washington. I'm Washington. I just got I got scared us like I'm too stupid to do a state with it Just mess everything up. You're like Seattle Michigan. No, yes, Seattle. Yeah, it's like you have no brains. So we're going to Seattle, Washington. We're going to be doing that next week.

Which is good, by the way, because the previews for next week's Dallas look absolutely amazing. So I'm very, very excited already to be able to recap Leanne raising her fist against Deandra in Seattle. Yes. And just as a preview, Deandra started it. So I'd like to put that out there. So we'll be there watching these ladies out white, the whiteness of Denmark. And then in December, we will be in Nashville recording something fantastic. So come see that right before Christmas everybody. It's the last time to see us in 2018. If you want links for, or ticket links for this, just go over to watch itcrapins.com.

Also, you're going to find ticket links there for our store, where we are selling Christmas, and Hanukkah shirts. Both of them are Ramona Singa thing. Okay? Christmas is ho ho ho. Okay. And Hanaka is happy Ramona with Ramona as the menoracandals.

So everybody go get those pay our rents. Make us happy little bitches. And I think that's it, Ben, right? Yeah, I mean, I understand that our little, you know, online merch shop does not even compare to Netaportay but you know we do our best. There you see it doesn't compare to Netaportay. Yeah, Netaportay blows it out of the water okay we're not even the same lake. Netaportay you are disgusting. That was in Netaportays. Oh God, it's going to be that kind of episode today.

Certainly, will be. I'm actually looking at the Ho-Ho shirt right now, because I'm looking at, like, I want to get a sweatshirt version. I'm already looking. I can't see one, but then you said not to. So I just got myself on a step. That's fine. I mean, get one.

I might get one in Heather Purple. Heather Purple, which that's not actually not very festive. I guess it should be green. Heather Kelly, I like that. It's like two different real housewives made a color together. Heather Kelly. Heather and Kelly. I'm just going to mute myself with colors. Speaking of Heather, before we jump into this madness, Heather DeBro, architectural digest, did a photo shoot.

It Heather DeBro's home. Ronnie, we talked about it on our Google Hangout this week. Did you get a chance to see that slide show yet by any chance? No, I saw her, her gerbil eyes on the screen and I was like no ma'am. No, I will not subject myself to this. Your stupid ballhouse.

Okay. There's no synabon in there. So it doesn't count. Yeah. It is is like I mean, we only get to see a little slice of it. And obviously it's large and has all sorts of like cool modern or kutramans. She has in the article they described

that in her kitchen island, she has like a trough in the island. That's like six inches deep. So that way she can fill it with ice and serve caviar and crudite is to guess. Which on the one hand, I'm like, that is like so ridiculous and so stupid. On the other hand, I'm like, kind of cool.

Like I kind of get it, but I also feel like the functionality of that is so stupid. On the other hand, I'm like, kind of cool. Like I kind of get it, but I also feel like the functionality of that is so limited. Like there better be a cover for that trough. Like how do you just have a trough in the middle of your kitchen island, you know? Like you're not a restaurant, you know? Well she has the pizza ovens to be one. You know, I just think it's an awkward time in society.

It's an awkward time in America to be like, here's my 19 gazillion dollar house that I don't need. And then I thought she was posting clips of her office. Like, do you need an office to steal intermittent fasting for yourself, okay? I don't think you need that. I don't know, I don't like Heather DeBro. I think she's a total asshole and a jackass

and she's me to waiters. So she can suck a gigantic corn dog as far as I can say Well, one of the other issues is that the entire house is in Full neutral like beyond neutral like you don't even get like a pop of color I think I saw one turquoise vase and you know that was something that you know Terry insisted on like that That's like where he keeps his onion rings because it was so, so, so, like, it was all gray, mauve, beige, tan, ash, whatever. And I understand going to extreme neutrals, but you have to like, one of the reasons why you have neutrals, I believe in my non-experienced interior design sense,

is that that way you have pops of color to bring it to life, and it's just so cold and stark in there, and I think it's so perfect that that's Heather DeBros fortress. Just like this cold, stark, neutral, black, gray, white, marble cage. Yeah. Joy your big marble cage. Also on the outside of it It's huge it takes up the whole lot and this is a huge house and I was looking at the area So you know look for someone who hates her and didn't pay any attention I still know a lot about it because people keep posting about it So I saw the outside of the house and it takes up the whole lot and it's like a foot away

It look I mean of course this is Ariel but from the house next door. It's a typical LA this is Ariel, but from the house next door, it's a typical LA, or I mean, it's not LA, but California housing setup where the houses are like a foot away from each other. It's so stupid. Which, if you're rich, don't you want some time alone? Like, you know, you have this huge lot. Do you really need a mall? Yeah, don't you want like some rolling estates? I mean, half the reason why those like big English country homes are so beautiful is because they're big, but then they also have these lush lands all around them in gardens and places that look so nice on down Abby. And this is just like down crabby because they're all like, I mean, how do you, you're so

next to someone else? Like how do you feel a sense of luxury if your giant mall house is next to another mall? What's the point of going to the Danbury Fair Mall if there's the Mall of America right next to it? Yeah, I'll pass. So you can't put a C.L.A.V. to right next to a Bassett center. One of them's not going to do as well. Yeah, I mean, look here in L.A. The Beverly Center. The Beverly Center is just like wheezing on life support next to the Grove. The Beverly Center is like here in L. LA, the Beverly Center is like a real housewife who's been demoted to friend of and

is trying to get back on. So she's like changing up her look, she's getting fillers, she's doing like getting a little face lift, you know, Botox, trying to be like, no, I'm like a great, I'm a great cast member, but the Grove is all like, I've taken over this show and I have the center apple now. Yeah, but, uh, actually, I'm sorry, the Beverly Center is more like someone who used to be in the center and is up to the side and the Beverly connection, which is directly across the street from the Beverly Center. That's like the Eden sassoon of malls. Yeah, I was gonna say it's the Dana Wilkie. Like you don't know when it's gonna be thrown in jail, you know, and you have a feeling it's defrauding you, but at the same time, that's where you go

for raw stress, for less target. That's like the poor people's revenge. Like everybody thinks we're so miserable over at the Beverly connection. Guess what? We have a seat plantation and an all-ball pain and a man's warehouse, okay? So you guys can all suck a dick over there. You're fancy Beverly Center, which has not had one day of being open properly since I've lived here. It's been remodeled every day. Last time I went there, it was like a not scary farm. You know how they put up all the fake walls and stuff for you to walk through mazes. Yeah, it was like that. And then they're trying to charge you $500 for an

outfit. Dick suck. Suck it. Yeah, okay? Just keep on moving around the stores and there every time you go in there, the Apple store is somewhere else completely. And then there's like a, there's like a, there's like a no beaker, Montserrat Lebar in the middle and then it's like a sushi bar another day.

And then like sometimes there's a movie theater at the Beverly Center. Sometimes there's not. You're like, what is going on? It is fully a thirsty house while I've trying to keep whatever she has left on that show, the Beverly Connection. Yeah, at least a Vander Pump not showing up. You know what I mean? It The Beverly Connections. Yeah, Lisa Vanderpump not showing up.

You know what I mean? It's like I'm here to see Lisa Vanderpump. And she's like, people are being mean to me. I'm covering all of my storefronts. It's like, what? You got to at least show up. Like I'm not taking anybody's side here, but I'm here to see you.

I feel like it's more like Jacqueline LaRita. Like it's there. Never was central. Tries to be central. Sort of annoying. You sort of are like, what is up with that? It's more like Jacqueline LaRita. It's there, never was central, tries to be central, sort of annoying. What is up with that? But sometimes you just have to go to the Beverly Center

and you're like, well, fine, I'm here. All right, I'll listen to Jack. The water is black, but I guess that's why I have to pay more for it. It makes no sense. Yeah, exactly. It's, you know what actually, so I actually think the Beverly connection that might be more Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's, you know what, actually, it's, so wait, I actually think the Beverly Connection that might be more like, Shiree, you know, frequently kicked off this, like she's been

kicked off twice. And yet like, you do secretly love it. Like you step all of like the Grove and Beverly Center and- So, at least I go. I love that place. I love the connection. I'm really offended that you're throwing them to the bus. No, that's why I'm giving it a shirea.

I've elevated it. I've elevated it from Eden's hassoon to shirea. I mean, Eden's hassoon. I don't even know what the Eden's hassoon of LA. It's probably like that wall, that weird wall that's in Burbank. I don't understand Burbank. The exacta. Eden's hassoon.

She's like, I'm a mall too in I'm her bank. She's a food court. Yeah. She's a she's a burrito truck downtown. And then you have like just drunk and you're like, oh my god, I never noticed this thing, but it's it is, you know, crying for no reason in the middle of the night after a party. And then you have the century century city mall, which is basically the Erica Jane of malls out here, because it's basically it's like oh like look I'm going to just give me an Italy and now I'm the cool one. Oh look like like she's like buying like the century city malls Trying to buy its way into our like love like into our hearts like that the Grove is clearly the supreme But like Erica Jane comes along is like well, I got an Italy. I got little dots on the parking lots. So you can see where the bike I think of the fuck. You know,

I do not want to eat at all Erica Jane. Erica Jane. It's like, and the thing is, people love everyone's like, have you been to this century city, Molly Lee? It's so awesome. It's like going through the motions. I'm all bitch you about it. Yeah, but it's like, that's what people are like, oh my God, that new, that Erica Jane, I love her. Like that is what, that's what the century, century city mall is like now. It's like, yeah, no, I like the century city mall, but I never like, I always leave feeling like, I was just like a little too far away, like not, it's too distant. All right, well, I'm sick of talking about malls.

Yeah, let's talk about Dallas. Let's go to talk about Dallas. I'm done with malls. It just made me realize how like inside I am at all times. I was like, what are these malls? I was like, so I open maps.google.com, or should I just say I'm sick of malls and move on? I was like, where's the city?

Where's the best place? Where is, where are all these places? Why is my mall called Amazon? Okay. I was about to move on to the Maricana too. So it's a good thing that we just stop that. That's a big one. That's that's like the new leaks of malls or something. Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't build a wall. We should build a mall. It's like the amazing coming on the border. That's a great idea. I think that's a great platform. There you go, everybody. Build a wall. I mean, build them all. I'm build a bit of Mara. Make make America Ronnie again, everybody. Make Mama make America a mall again.

You're not coming in with this country until you've had a hot dog on a stick. Damn it. I like it. I like it. That's a great limit, my test. So real housewives of Dallas, another amazing episode, love this show is just so good. It is so good. The fact that they're just like fighting about alcoholism, like bleeding alcoholism, it's great. In terms of like that, that they're saying alcoholism. That's what I think is hilarious.

And they just can't help themselves, you know, because everybody on these shows is obviously fake and trying to get their, their stupid story line through at every moment, especially Carrie and Marl. Yeah. But their whole like, we're so happy. And we never find it all. Look at our happy family every time they start. But it opens with Carrie pointing scissors right at her daughter's face.

Oh, my God. That kid moves. She's going to lose her eyes. You know that right? Yeah, and they had a very symbolic moment. They were emptying bags of filler into a basket. I was like, well, if this doesn't represent their marriage, I don't know what this is. So there's some people fish smells to try and make make up believe that Mark hasn't been spending all this time with the roundup.

I mean. Yeah, Carrie is on her on a quest to reconnect with her ancestry in Denmark. And so she is making little baskets to invite the women to Copenhagen. And so she's putting in some classic Danish elements. For instance, she's putting in a Danish. Very on the nose. Yeah, literal Danish. She's putting in a Danish beer. I forgot it was called Karlsberger, whatever. I've seen it that year before. I just can't remember what that's called.

Danish beer. It's probably called Danish. Very on the main. Danish L. And then she's also sending pickled herring, which is a bold move because I'm pretty sure that needs to be refrigerated. And she's like, who doesn't like pickle tearing in

the mail? And I feel like most people would not like that. I personally love pickle tearing. So to me, this was really winning me over. It's gross. Okay. No, it's delicious. It's disgusting. So she's sitting on Mark is trying to flirt with her and so he does it, you know, in the best mark way ever He's like, you don't even know Danish. How are you gonna speak it? Did you look it up on Google translate? I mean really Yeah, she's like flugger flugger flugger flugger which means I believe flower flower flower flower Flurger, Flurger, Flurger, Flurge, which means I believe flower, flower, flower, flower, flower. Yeah, she's like, you're off to all that they do. That means my husband bought me a new closet to make me stand for him.

Next time somebody says he's giving clothes to the K-PAR. So next step, Stephanie getting her hair done in the kitchen. That's one thing. Yes, because why not? Yeah, we give people a lot of shit for sitting on counters. Why don't we ever give Stephanie shit? She's always doing crazy stuff in her kitchen. I think she's giggling so much. We're like an hammered by her. Yeah, because we love her. Yeah, she's getting her hair and makeup done for no apparent reason. She's

just getting it done. Because like like literally literally nothing else to do So it which proves that she really can't be alone. She's like Travis goes off to work She's like I took all people over Because it's so scary being alone I called the gaze Yeah, so her husband is planning their their 10-year-old renewal thing because he's a controlling dude. And then Dean Dong, all the ladies start getting their invite baskets. By the way, what do you think?

At this point in the show, I was starting to imagine what would Travis' ideal wedding vow renewal look like? I was imagining hoops of fire and that guitarist from Mad Max that was dangling off of a tank. I feel like that would be there too, you know. Really? Because all I see in my brain when I think about that is a gigantic post-nut for her to sign. Here are your vows.

I, Stephanie, will not ask for a single dime when I found out my husband's been cheating on me this whole time and leaves me. Because this is a Val Renewal on Bravo. So nothing good is going to come of this. I feel like when you do a Val Renewal on Bravo at the end of it, you should like stand by like a little bell with a gavill like as if you're at the stock market and you should bang it and then a countdown clock begins. She's like, we're trying to rally. All right, looks like we have, let's see what the numbers. Oh, 423 days left in the marriage. It's a strike market. So they all start getting their baskets and cams even has a pink pink bow. Which, you know, we talk about controlling people

on these shows. Man, talk about an abuser. I mean, when you're sending out gift baskets and you have to buy hot pink bow just to make one lady happy, that's an abuser right there. Cam, calling it out now. Well, we all have that lady friend in our life, who you're just finally like,

you just have to give in to her demands. Yeah, we know them. We know them Well, I've got tens of them because I'm getting single so that's like my whole circle, okay? Yeah, it's like they have access to my I-cow mm-hmm. Yeah, so yeah, I can't get started she's like oh my gosh How fun girl Endantrous reaction a present somebody likes me mother. I don't believe this Yeah, do you is probably like hmm. I don't know about that the andra if that's a present

I don't know if you really have friends that maybe from Amelia might be a prank It's a prank the andra go and open it see what happens I think something can jump out of you. Maybe that quote-unquote snow algae you keep talking about it Is this basket just pretend to be my friend and then it's going to totally screw me over? The second it gets a chance. Mother. I don't give a rip. You get a present. And then Cameron opens hers and she's like, Go, bro! So... Lotus! You should come back.

You're gonna like that. Choose your snacks carefully, Lotus. Because Lotus is a cat. I like that her a pet. She has one named Lotus and one named Chunk. Like... It's like a... sort of a disparity in like quality of names.

Yeah, I'm trying to think of Lotus flowers because I'm stressed out that you're not a dog. And dog, you're just fat. She's just going to fat shame her dog. So yeah, I told you, she's an abuser. Yeah. So yeah, everyone's getting their hair ring. So Rich is opening his up and he's well, Leanne's up and he's like spilling it everywhere. Leanne's like, oh, and then Brandy is like, it smells like dirty twat. And I have smelled some dirty twats in a kick line. Where Harvest does her laugh.

Leave it up to Brandy to bring it to dirty twats. Then Carrie's like, maybe they don't get this. So I'm just going to FaceTime them all to make sure that they got them and they understand what I'm saying. Because really, what do you say? You know, what are you saying? So she goes times cam and she's like, did you understand my card? She's like, mmm, no. She goes, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just,. She goes, it says Jordan and Danish and she goes, no wonder I could have read it.

I was wondering why you were scratching out all those zeros. Girl, I was like, girl, why do you keep, why do you keep regretting writing those o's there? Why do you keep regretting writing those O's there? Calm just sat there staring at the card like, Why can't I read this? I've been trying so hard, the secret code. Dumb blondes, redanish, smart blondes, read everything. And then Stephanie is pretty typical Stephanie too

when she gets her call. She's like Praise cap and Hagen Is that where I can learn how to cope with being alone? It's in Denmark check You're not helping like is that a place is it a piece of place? Is it a restaurant that's that? Is that a past casual restaurant Denmark is that Is that related to pathmark? He's marked the Dan. It's so me out, like it doesn't have to be a huge party. That's Mark at a 10.

You let me do that. Denmark like Mark has finally left his like his private man cave or whatever. is private man cave or whatever. So then Leanne goes to a bridal suite with her friend Kim and to look at her wedding dresses, which she's been talking about for a little while now. So she's doing that and Stephanie shows up. And Stephanie is still feeling a little bruised that Brandi thinks Leanne would only be friends with Stephanie because Leanne's trying to get back a brandy

And Leanne is not friends with Stephanie based on Stephanie's own merit. So Stephanie is feeling a little like anti Yeah, she's only one part of that and not part of the So yeah, so, uh, I get buddy and Wilma, like, they have to die at the same time because otherwise their life is just not going to make sense. Yeah. You know, you can't just have one like laugh like that in a movie theater. Has to do.

Well, no, it's, it's like the Roger Rapper thing. It's like you can't go. And then not finish it, you know, yeah, you'll go crazy. Your head'll pop off. So Leanne, um, says what she wants in a wedding dress. She just wants, I want clean and basic and boring. And then we then see her in so many elaborate over-the-top wedding dresses that are like all inspired by like Katarina Vitt's costumes in 1988. Or something like that. It's like all figure figure skating with the trains.

Yeah, well first she did start simple, but then it was like, look at me, you know, simple up and up. And then it would come back and she's like, look now that's a collar, look now that's a trying. Look now that has a white tiger behind it. I'm like, wait a second, you're just trying to sell your transform with dresses or wedding dress. I know. Now I got a cape.

Look, now the cape's a bonnet. Now guess what, it's half bonnet, half cape. How about that? That's a pilot costume. That's a water filter. Now I'm deadpooled. So she ends up liking a dress. It looks like the address dress.

I don't know if anybody noticed. But if she ends up having like a headpiece that's a bejeweled, like a school cap thing, that's a bejeweled. Yeah, if it looks like you're about to go on an adventure in Egypt with an archaeologist, then you have to really think twice in the 1940s. Yeah. Yes, yeah, so Leanne's like, cheers to only happy things being around the wedding, you know, happy things like goat blood intestines Con candy, but con candy that's given to you by guys actually a skeleton so it's real scary gone candy

Um, it's like I just wanted to think about positive wedding things Eaton babies positive wedding things. Eating babies. That's the part of the animals that didn't move you up from the Apple Bob and contest. Getting burned alive so I can haunt children's dreams. So um, Leanne does tell Stephanatius, like, you know, just so you know, like, I know you feel all special because you're the only one on the TV show that's been invited to see me trying figure skating outfits that you can get married in, but guess what I also invited Deandra and Deandra said she's not gonna come, you know. So Stephanie is like, well, I mean, I just think that you guys need to talk, which is what

everyone's been saying for the past eight episodes, because she does have a good point, which is that they are best friends. They're having a fight, and she doesn't want Leigh-Anne to not invite Deandra to the wedding, and then a few months later, they wind up in a good place, and then she has regrets. That happened to me, honestly, in my bar mitzvah, I did not invite someone who was my friend, because I was mad at him, and then we became friends again,

and I felt bad that I didn't invite him to my bar mitzvah. So don't do it, Leigh-Anne. So I got totally mingled at abot mitzvah. So don't do it, Lee. So I got totally mean girl did abot mitzvah by all my girlfriends. And they totally all stopped talking to me at the table, but I didn't know why. And it's still traumatized.

It's because one of their mothers told them I was gay. And I didn't even know what that meant at that time. Well, I mean, I knew what it meant, but I didn't know that it was mean. I did. And so none of them would speak to me because I was gay. And then I had to figure it out and find the gossipy girl. Like have about miss Fitz trauma, okay?

I don't even know that it was serious and fuck those girls, okay? That fuck that wait. How about fuck that mom who's told those girls that you're gay? Yeah, fuck you lady Who I'm still alive so I don't feel terrible later about saying that? So yeah, anyway, trauma's aside Stephanie's like maybe you should just talk now. I don't agree with you I don't think they should just talk because we see what happens when they just talk these two can't just talk Okay, yeah, like they try to talk but then it's like your husband's cheating on you Then they try and talk again and now to Andrew's an alcoholic just don't talk your lives get worse every time you talk

No, I'm not saying I'm just saying they have to figure, they do have to fix it. That's what I'm saying. The talking is not working. They are not good at talking. I agree 100%. But I would feel bad if they were in a fight. I still want them to be best friends.

I like them as best friends. And I would feel bad if Leanne does not invite Deandra to her wedding. And then they do patch things up. And then it's like now Deandra's missed out on this thing that, you know, Leanne was super excited about. Yeah, it's like the first transformer to human wedding, you know? Yeah. You have to be there if you get the chance. Yeah, I guess. So Stephanie's like, why I'm proud of you because you made it like even when you have conflict you say calm. She's like, meditation worked. Go!

Look! See, meditation does work. Look, see, see Kim over here. I'm only lightly strangling her right now as we speak only lightly. I only want things that are positive, happy, normal, handless, and don't get near me when I'm in my dress. Meanwhile, Marie somewhere like peers out from behind her rock. She's like, it's safe, it's safe. No, it ain't Marie. Slices her head off. Foulder, finally, gotta play the long game game I'm still glad to murder Marie right yeah meditation does not applaud a Marie so dandra goes into the office and you know she's nervous because she doesn't even try and top her mother's hellos to the

office ladies she's just like yeah hey ladies. I was like, whoa, talk about low effort. Where's mom? Where's mom? Mom, mom, mom. So she finds the D is doing, she's rocking a Navy blazer with red piping, which felt very like marching band assassin to me. Yes, it was very music man, you know, marching band, captain, but it's these. She's like, I am screwing over your tan. What are you gonna do about that? Okay, do I look like I just fell off a turnip truck

and then pick up that goddamn Tibet and play like your life depends on it. Because it is. Monorail. It is. Monorail. Monorail. So she goes, do you like, so how's your day been?

Filled with the customary jealousy of your mother, I bet, huh? So how you deal my little grin on monster? And Dan just like, well, the contract update mother, is it ready? She's like, ready. Once you've signed it, you take the company and Janet eats your soul for lunch. Okay. This is great. Good to see you.

Get out of my office. I told Amelia. Lawnlesson, the contract won't be ready until Amelia finds a new job because I told her once you sign that dotted line, it is all over for a card. Not good morning am I right everyone high five high five oh it's just you Deandra sorry oh so well I'm not waiting to leave your office mother because cooking day became a mess with camera with Jimmy and Cameron okay it was a mess mother okay I was trying to prove that you're like super into this

company and being responsible why you got a gossip about you Exactly and do you start scratching that part of her your face? You know, that's like she starts scratching the part like above her lip below her nose like I think I'm going to activate super deep hours about pressing my little button right here That's something to do. There's something under there. I'm telling you because that's what she rubs with her tongue all the time on her gums Like what she's trying it. It's like her get off the lipstick move where she's like Yeah, it's almost like like there's like a thimble that got stuck under the skin like while she's doing like adding her latest face You know, right like she's trying to tie a cherry with her cherry stem with her tongue. So

So Stan with her tongue. So, um, so, D, D, it's start telling Dianna what Leanne had said to her. That Leanne had said that she was worried that Dianna was in alcoholic and, you know, they're like, well, mother, that is just Leanne's ploy. Okay. She's saying that because she knows she is going to get you to speed like, oh my god, Dianna is in trouble and she's going to become an alcoholic and she's going to quit suicide just like our father. I be like, oh my god, Deandra is in trouble and she's gonna become an alcoholic and she's gonna quit suicide just like our father. And I was like, this show is, I love how dark this show can get in an instant. Yeah, she keeps jumping to the suicide thing.

It's like, yeah, it gets really dark. So then Tians, Deandra tells us, well, I've thought about this and Deandra is wrong. Deandra is not an alcoholic. So I'll stand up for my daughter. wrong. Dandra is not alcoholic. So I'll stand up for my daughter. And I'm like, well, thank God she's not because I would hate for you to not stand for your daughter.

I mean, that is, could you imagine Mama D taking you to rehab and be like, that's it, Dandra? Well, Dandra, I'm leaving. She would. She would do a good intervention. I think she would sit, I think she's the only person who would go on intervention and just spend the entire time laughing. Just watching people getting intervened on. That was good. Read that letter again. Make her cry. Make her cry. That was real good. I don't give a rip if you're in rehab or not. I just

want to see those tears come down in your cheeks. She's like, well, she's not my friend anymore mother. She is loyal to camera now. And Deans says, well, let him go off and be loyal together. Yeah. So back over at Cam's house, Cam is in short shorts. She's in short strawberry shortcake shorts. Yeah. And she's like trying to cut an apple. And this is the longest opening scene

of her just trying to cut an apple. And finally, she just starts laughing. Why would I choose to do this for my opening business? Even she's laughing at herself because she has one of those Apple core things. So it's really all the hard work has been done for her. All she has to do is just press down. You put it on the Apple and she gets it halfway through the Apple and she's like, this is hard.

And then she's trying to get it out. And one thing she learns very quickly is that once you start the core process with those devices, you can't stop. You cannot back up. Okay, you are going. Okay. And she is now. She's trying.

She's like, somehow managed to pull it out. And then she takes like a bread knife and cuts it. And she's, I don't know what she's doing. And she doesn't know you there. And she really is like, I can't believe I guess it on top chef And now this is what I'm doing I don't understand it must be Danish yeah, I was wondering why I couldn't cut it So Leanne comes over

Twinsies, jinxies, jinxies, we end comes over and she's like, you look right. Oh, this is a poison scene. These two are going to be toxic poisonous horrible monsters. Whenever Leanne starts talking like that, like over animated where she makes her eyes open really big and everything. She goes, oh, I know, she's a mouth really big like she's an extra local home, you know, extending in the back like, oh, I know, her mouth really big like she's an extra nookle home, but you know, extending in the back like, whoa, music with the other extra. Yeah, yeah, you know, she's,

she's gonna be bringing a lot to the scene. Yeah, she's like, do you ever look disheveled? She's like, um, girl, this makeup right now, it's been on since 6 a.m. And it's starting to come off. But here's the question for you, was it 6am Dallas time or 6am Denmark time? Snoopy-Duby-Dom-Dom-Dom. I don't know what that means either.

So Leanne's like, oh, I see this chalkboard about front doors that take off your shoes. Do I have to take off my shoes? I was like, no, that's just for the workers. I don't want them to distribute dirt all over my floors. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, this isn't the global dirt expo. Ah. Ah. They track in so much dirt, I like it,

don't even have time to chew any bubblegums, okay? It's like, do like a treat. No I'm not drinking right now. It's like how about some rose water? I actually have rose water and I didn't even have to get it off of netapartur. So they do the 24 thing where they like starts throwing shots at the screen. They don't change scenes. It's like this big action shot, but they're like,

look, it's them drinking water. Look, it's them drinking water from a different angle. Look, now they're sitting on fatty. Yeah, they literally split the screen up into four quadrants to watch these two women transition from the kitchen island to the couch. It was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I was like, wait, we're not seeing anything else happening.

He's literally just them having. I mean, listen, I would be in a state of distress also if I had a giant glass of rose water because that shit is strong. I don't think you're supposed to drink it. It's disgusting. And that was a really pink water, by the way. That was very, very rosy. That's like, I think rose water is like an ingredient that you add

in sparingly into recipes. You don't sit there and drink it. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. I was like, this is, this is so vile. It is so, it's because it's so strong. Oh, yeah. And I'm glad they set this up to be a big, huge scene because it does end up being a big, huge scene because they just keep repeating each other's words and it becomes one of my favorite scenes. Yeah, she's like, I went dress shopping with Stephanie.

She's like, Stephanie, that's so, so weird. Yeah, and so Leanne, sorry. I keep on like making these like little burps. You ever have that happen and you're just like trying to say a word and it's like you just cut off my syllable So Leanne starts reading Deandra's text because Deandra was invited to and then she text Leanne I was like I'm busy. So this is what the tech said. It said I have a full day already

And I can't change my schedule lots to do before tomorrow. I'm sure Stephanie will be a great person to be to be there and advise on styles and Etc. She has such great taste And but the way Leanne says okay, that's how it says, that's how Deanna wrote it, but Liam says it like this. I have a full day already and I can't change my schedule. I'm sure it's definitely good because she's got to stop. Oh, that's not how the text will bring. There was. It was very straightforward.

I mean, admittedly, Deandra could have said something like, I'm so sorry. I wish I could be there. I know this is important. And even though we're going through our shit, like this is like more important than anything else. So we're like, you know, I've been waiting for this moment and you're going to look beautiful. So it was, it was pretty cold for sure. But Leanne definitely made us sound like. I think she told her until I think she didn't invite it. Well, I saw on Twitter, Deandra was like, she didn't invite me to go, but I wasn't in until until 930, they're not before. Well, I'm sorry,

I'm a business woman. Have you heard of miracles? Have you heard of green miracles? Take a shot of one soft patches. Thank you, Twitter. So Leanne didn't invite her till the last minute and you can tell reading this text because she says I have way too much to do before tomorrow, which is their charity event. So you have to like play. And she's probably mad because at the same time I still would be flowery and be like I'm so sorry I couldn't make it. But then Deandra is probably pissed because she knows she's like well she's gonna invite me the last second. I'm not gonna be able to go and then she's gonna make me look like the bitch, which is exactly what Leanne's doing.

Which is why she's the queen. By the way, that's why, because Leanne knows how to play these games. So now Leanne has like read this in the crazy tone, so she's getting Cameron all wild at. So now Cameron's like super mad. And she's like, you're touching her shoulder at this point, she's so mad.

Yeah, she's like her best friend is getting married. Too busy. I'm sorry. Who is too busy to go to a wedding dress fitting and Lincoln goes, who is? Who is this person? Who is this person? Who is that's not someone we know that's not someone we know now who we know no I don't know who it is who texted me is this spam spam that's batting it is batting this is a fat text you know what this is? There's something going on cool This psycho Soko that's what it is and people call me Soko I would put down that phone. It's gonna stab you in the shower. It's so psycho

Have you seen that phone's mother you should make sure the phone's mother still works. The other thing that offense me to is her name, her last name is so. Wait, before we get into that whole thing, that whole tobacco, I do want to back up and sit. When Cameron says, who's too busy to go to a wedding dress fitting? That is the most hilarious thing to say. I'll tell you who's too busy. Anyone who works get a job get a job

I mean it gets like Like every I actually think that like everyone is too busy to go to a wedding fitting. I'm wedding dress fitting I actually I actually feel like 95% of the world would not want to go to someone else's wedding dress fitting. Like there are some of those like totally selfless people who like rather than look at their own issues would like to project themselves onto someone else. So they're like, yes, I will go. But I think that the rest of us are like, oh, now I gotta sit and watch you in another

dress and another dress. Like give me the free champion. Yeah. That's one of those girls' rights things that you have. It's like the right of friendship, you know. Yeah. Like people do it for you, even if you don't want to be there, and then you do it for them, and then at some point you're sitting around with a glass of two-dollar champagne in your hand, and you're like, why the fuck do we do this? Yeah, you know, it's like wedding showers, and baby showers, wedding showers, any of the showers, no one likes. Literally no one likes them. So why do we do it? Why do we do that?

I don't know. Okay, that opens up a whole other can of warps, okay? So she's like, the she's the Simmons and the Simmons family's done a lot for our town. I'm like, okay. Yeah, do they build it? They release the green miracle. Like, it's like, before the green miracle, Dallas was just a bunch of huts and dead trees and then the

Green Maricle came and now we have Green Maricle Town. Don't run around and bursting people with that last name. You know, there's an entire line of mattresses with that name and that's not fair for you to ruin them. Would Mrs. Sealy do this? I don't think so. Would Joan Casper do this? I don't think so. Would Mr. Firm put up with this if his wife was doing it? Dauple. Would Janet sit or Peter sleep to this? I don't think so. What about Auntie Number? Have you spoken to Marie Kraftmatic? She would never do this.

Oh, so Leann is now getting fired up because of camera and she's like, you are right. Yeah, she has a responsibility. Yes, a responsibility. Yeah, it's a responsibility. Okay, you are turning into the music man. Yeah, exactly. We got some really big trouble. Right here. Yeah, exactly. We've got trouble. Really big trouble.

Right here in the middle. Right here in the middle. Right here in the middle. At the end of the A to the T to the T to the R to the E to the S to the S. Leave the last S off for savings though please. You're killing me Larry! She is certifiably insane emphasis on the Serta. It's time for commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Take it me up. And listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. And and he goes oh oh oh Let me tell you the one maseki made dandruff your hair. Oh wait Your makeup no, you know, it's so hard to choose the one maseki made. Hmm. Okay

What you yeah, you should have started that conversation you should have said you know what? Jiminy cricket and Dodo bird sock puppet over there. This is not the appropriate time. We are having a cook and listen from we We are a master, okay? We are learning from a lady who knows the art of ketchup and meat Okay, and you want to talk about this. That's what I would have said Deandra That's how you control a conversation, Deandra. You say, look at that lady over there. That lady's a genius.

She's not just made the green miracle. She's made the meat miracle, okay? You should have just taken the Ket, Hines 57 bottle and gone, right in their face. That's what you should have done. You should have said, what are they going to say to me now after I do this to you, Jimmie? And all of Satan's, Jimmie Rickett. Peeried, space, space, new sentence, fuck you, Jimmie.

Exclamation point, space, space, carriage return, carriage return, the end, all in caps, period. Now, William, please get that topped up. Yeah. I like that put into needle points to put behind me in a frame. So she's like, you learned a lesson today, Danter. I have been a Simmons a long time. Okay. I'll tell him, spit it, forget it, let it go.

Just let it go. Let it go. I wrote that song, you know. I wrote it, I said to Disney, you know what, you gotta tell these girls to let it go. And that's, I said, I'm gonna write a song about an oscald, osc princess called Dee Simmons, who goes and makes the blue miracle in Norway.

Well, they changed a little bit, but that's fine. Blue miracle. When I became that girl from Frozen, I built you an osc palace, Deandra, a Simmons palace. Then you came in and turned all the microwave. So maybe one day you'll be less than an idiot and you'll be able to keep an osc palace open. Until then, let it go. Mother, no one likes the product

that's can turn everything into ice. That's what I'm trying to tell you, okay? No one likes that. Here's what people like, okay? They're like jars, not pouches, they're like jars, and they're like being turned into ice by someone who knows how to make a meatloaf, okay? So then back at cams, she's like,

oh, well, wait until you hear this goal She came up to me at that party where there was like an army spray painted on a wall And she said you're attacking me like she came up on me full Yeah, cuz I went to the bar Supporting like a good friend does okay, and they're like a good friend does State Farmers they are right? Yeah, he's like, I cannot believe it! Her mouth is on the floor like she just heard that everybody's getting a free penis

Like on the ground The way that Cam and Deandra talk about this interaction that before is So hilariously self-serving for both of them because they both are like she attacked me and like all dandra said was my feelings were hurt and honestly when cam and jimmy were talking to dandra all she did was really they were just like by the way just you know people are talking so like you got to think about these things and she's like she attacked me at that thing and then when camera was like that's not fair to Andrew DeAndre's like she turned into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hats you took out a chainsaw and she tried to solve part that bar okay.

She's like Jekyll and David Hatt pierce mother and I'm not gonna take that okay I'm never a frayed her she's like she said Jimmy is a grand dam of Dallas and because she is huh hmm First time anybody's told me about that Hmm Jimmy Yeah, she's a grand damn slut. That's what she is That this is the first time we ever saw D really get mad the moment that someone basically said that D was not the grand grandaum of Dallas. This is what got her. This is what got a lot of finally put her over the Mima edge. It's like, ah, hold Jimmie thicket, huh? That makes a lot of, we'll see about that. And then I feel like I heard like in my mind, I heard like deep brooding synthesizers or chords playing and I just imagine the camera just zooming right into her eyes and she goes be mean if you have to be mean I can be mean be mean you know what's gonna happen if you if you if you don't do this and get heart skinned they are gonna moe you damn dandrea don't be a pants see

sent up for yourself and tell them off! Alright, now tell me this. How did the cow eat the cabbage? It's like, uh... Ugh. Mother, I may have missed that one. Well, then it's official. You are not ready to run this company. Please let me have a cow.

That's a goddamn drone. Try to stick up for you here. How can I stick up for you if you don't even know how to calculate the cabbage? Okay, these are the fundamentals that go into a meatloaf I'll tell you how the cow ate the cabbage He didn't cuz you came in port ketchup on it and ate it before he even could get to it You put that cabbage into a pouch, okay? No wonder why the cow couldn't eat it. It only said a charge So then back at the other house, oh no,

do you know, it's like, well, I'm not a mean girl, mother. You know, they're the mean girls, and I don't wanna get disrespectful. She's like, oh, well, I'm not respectful. I'll tell you that. And when they mess with my daughter, I get unrespectful. UNRESPCT, find out what it means to me. UNRESPCT, find out-E-S-P-C-T.

Find out the D Simmons way. Suck it to me, suck it to me, suck it to me, cow. Eating cabbage, cabbage, cabbage, cabbage. When I get mad, the first person to suffer is that goddamn Mary and Webster bitch. Oh. Like when she just stories English from every single spam.

Yeah. Webster. So back at camp, I was like, I don't even want to go to cup and haggen with her. Oh, and I have to have to have to stay at the drama party with her. I want to call it sick like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because basically before they had their fight, they agreed to do the Andrew wanted to do something for a hard night good morning and Leanne's like, well, I know a guy. So while we do it over at his place. So but Leanne's like, I'll tell you, I'll tell you if she comes, if she comes for you one more time Cameron, I'm just gonna karate chop in her throat. I'm a karate chop big old chop in the throat.

Chop chop chop. I left the new career like you changed my punch in someone in the throat. I want to see Leanne karate chop something. I want to my punch in someone in a throat. I Want to see Lee and try to chop something. I want to see her in the new karate kit I want to I want to reboot of the karate kit with Lee and yeah wax on wax off. Oh, wax on mr. Maggie These did sorry How many times got you to do some my legs wax on wax off? Well, you said to chop on board. I said to chop all board. Oh I'm going to be a little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little Just land don't beat me up. I don't want my head in the locker again So she shows up to this Jack retro party and Jack retro himself is there or Jack And it's a pajama party so he's dressing in his night clothes, which is a glorious wanson turban with a gold bro I mean this this I love I don't know what's happening in the Dallas, Gasein, but I love it It's second only to Atlanta. Yeah, I'm I'm very excited to learn about the Dallas the Dallas gaysian Which should be called the Dallas? Like I mean clearly we are going to the roundup when we go in February and I'm so excited even though I feel like the roundup doesn't like us because they go there's no I mean I don't want to go to the roundup No, I have but I I don't want you but I feel like I have to because it's the roundup like it's me it's not

I mean though they're gonna be those kind of line-downs are people who are like you're not doing it right You're taking you're not taking it seriously you are being Respectful queen Yeah, they won't let us geotag the roundup I can do it with my my personal IG account, but I can't do with Oak crappin's IG account And I feel like why? Like, just try to do a live show there. And then the guy was like, well, we'll wait.

We're going to have to give this a listen to see if this fits our, what we're going for here at our, I'm like, what? No one has ever ever said, no venue has ever said anything like that. And then I followed up an email and then he just didn't write me back and I'm like, oh, so we're not good enough for the, you know what suck. I'm sorry we wanted to do a dick. Yeah, I'm sorry we wanted to invite people to your place of business that buy drinks. I'm so sorry. Yeah, how about square down?

Yeah, we'll go to the square around. I'm still going to go the roundup. I don't fucking care Listen, well that we really gay is why just like carried it against it. So it's fine We'll survive. Maybe we'll build bridges. Listen listen. We are we will we will we will we will squash the beef with the roundup To as an example for Leigh Ann and Deandra. I don't think you understand line dancing cow gait cowboys. Oh, no, I do. I went to that gay bar in Phoenix where they do that.

And have you been to the one here, oil cans? Oh, hell yes. String you up. If you've done a lot of nasty looks there when I try to line dance at oil can hair is. Yeah, we got like semi kicked out of there. I mean granted I was with Trisha. So yeah yeah but the same time they like line dance to like Rihanna so I'm like really that's true but they're very serious about it okay so anyway they're at this Jack retro party Jack's walking around in a turbine like hey darling here's a Gucci outfit

and Leanne is getting changed but she's like afraid to fight with Deandra, you know, because she knows what's coming. So Deandra arrives in. And by the way, Liam is still, she is like, she is amping up her rhetoric now. She's like, well, this stupid event, you know, we decided to go host before Deandra started stabbing me in the back. I don't think DeAndre was actually stabbing me in the back. She's just... She stopped returning my calls. Yeah, exactly.

But either way, so I love how when DeAndre shows up, which is I think maybe what you're about to say, that after all this talk, like DeAndre has been, being stabbing me in the back, and DeAndre was like, Lee Ann's, excuse me of being at Alka Hawk, alcoholic, I am done with her and then they see each other like, ah, how are you? So, Deandre comes out dressed like Lady Grover. Like, she is like in full on bluish purple for night gown and stuff.

And everybody starts showing up with their PJs and she's like look at mother that is the gold piece from the 70s I was telling you about Jack retro who's now my friend not Leanne's because she's a bully and I'm gonna put a god damn ahead in the locker if she doesn't watch it yeah D-Shestop and like an a leopard pajama situation with like a black sheer robe around it so she kind of just looks like an evil ringleader. Yeah, she does. So Dan just was like, I have just transformed Green Miracle.

So she's going to say this like 90 million times throughout the night. Yeah. She's like after 24 years, but the first time ever, the Green Miracle is even more miraculous. Okay, because I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. Meanwhile, like, you know that like a million and a year in the background, but like, I like, yes, when they're like, it's like totally the same product.

Yeah. So they say hi to with more sugar. So they say hi to, um, Randy and Carrie, Carrie come in. Carrie has a huge hair. Yeah. And Brandy's in a Wednesdayancy, like a bear wancy or something. And she's like, these are very appropriate to who I am. So take that society. Take that. Yeah. You tell them, Brandy, you tell them. So, uh, details of, now listen, here you two girls. What happens when a cow tries to eat the cabbage Deandre eats it first that's what I said Brandy you may be an alcoholic, but you're a winner alcoholic, okay?

Yeah So yeah, these tell us carry on Brandy, you know like take care of Deandre and Denmark Okay, cuz if she comes back her everybody's gonna wish they were dead Anyway, what's my love? Notice you haven't seen Janet this season So he's like she's been horrible, Bradley. She dandruff had to slip for two days and Brandy talks about how she's just not gonna lose sleep over the end because put a loser meanwhile She's you know like helped start off this shit

rubbing her evil little bare hands together. Yeah, exactly And then Deandra starts Passing around green Miracle shot green Miracle shots to the party, etc. etc. And Deandra's like, you know Before it used to taste like green grass and I was like, but I'm allergic to grass. And the ender ender, you just get for this dust there like how dare you say that you could be allergic to a previous version of our product. Yeah. It's like I'm allergic to grass, trees, apples, sand, scramblers, scrambled eggs, clowns. They're like, wait a second. Every single one of those things was in your childhood

at the carnival, okay? She was basically people I grew up with a bottle of Coca-Cola in my mouth. I That was my comfort food and come for drink. I just basically subsist on Coca-Cola I just and you know what honestly when my face was in that locker it wasn't so bad because I had a bottle of Coca-Cola in there too My mother would go through long periods and not talking to me and then I realized she was a Coke machine. I took a Coke machine to prom once. I was like mother, why will you only communicate with me when I press your buttons? Nowadays I don't even understand Coke machines.

All these computerized displays and all these flavorings. It's hard. It's hard. I feel bad. PCSD. PCSD. Computerized the splays and all these flavor and it's hard hard up it alone PCSD CTSD PC Post-code disorder Tremetic, I don't know what I'm saying So the Andra is being given life by

Dewalking around telling everyone how she's gonna murder the friends that aren't nice to her daughter. Like she is so powered by her mom sticking up for her. It's hilarious. So it's slowly building, right? So Carrie takes Dandara outside and Carrie really has done all she can do this episode. She's like, I'm doing my fake family trip. So I'm done. How are you? And then it's like, I am very disappointed in the other night. Very disappointed. She's like, with Cam. Yes, I'm so very upset.

She fucks us on the fact that I said, that I said Jimmy hurt my feelings and nothing she hurt my family. Okay, I've been a rare woman my whole life. I know mean girls and I'm not gonna do this mean girl thing. I'm gonna get some, I'm not gonna, and then she starts getting seriotary mad again. Where she's like, hold her back.

She's like just bumping off the walls, you know. She's like, you see this baseball? It's mad now. It's mad. I keep it. I keep it. I mean, basically, the funny thing is that you're so right. She is thriving off the fact that her mom is in there, like, also fully on her side now,

talking to you about Leanne and Cameron. And like, it's nice when you're, when your parents accept for there, also fully on her side now, talking to you about Leanne and Cameron. It's nice when your parents are up for you, etc. But Deandra also said just last week, this is between the girls, don't drag your mother and law into the dog fight. That's not right. Well, not your mom is in the mix here. Now you see the value in having an older lady in the mix because they are great fighters. Yeah And so then she goes wait. Oh no, by the way, Deandra is essentially have Deandra is essentially having an in-life crisis

Right, I mean, that's what this is all this was what it all boils down to you know She's had to live by society standards. She's been judged and judged and judged and she the pressure has been on her And she's just kind of sick of it, because she's probably hearing it more now than ever, because the reality show, she just wants to do one fun thing in her life. And so she's mad as hell. She wants to just like, you know, it's like when someone

goes off to college, and like if someone is not popular and they go off to college, and then suddenly they're accepted for the first time, and then they just abandon all their high school friends because they're like, wait a second, like this is what life could be like. That's what Dandra is going through. Just, you know, she, she, so when she's mad at,

she's so, her anger towards Cameron and Jimmy seems so outsized, like, so out of proportion for what they really said, that it's really because it triggered this thing that she is just trying so hard to get away from society because she's going through her like midlife or super delayed, you know, teenager going up to college, like self identity crisis, right? Yeah, well, she just came in ready to fight. Like, she's been trying to start fights this entire season. She came in wanting to fight with Leanne and Leanne did a good job of staying calm this whole time, but you know now is of course breaking as we knew she would.

But the address started it and the address has been starting it with everybody. And when she says to they show a clip of Jimmy, Jimmy, you know, um, wicket or whatever saying like well darling people are gonna talk in society And check that is a threat that was a threat. Well, yeah, she's saying that if you if you act one way People are gonna react another way like she's not threatened to murder your family, you know I think dandra is just like in housewise mode where she's ready to cause drama and start shit And it's just backfiring in her face because she's not waiting for the right thing. She's not waiting for the right thing, you know. She probably also thought that she was gonna come onto the show

and be like the superstar and like she came on and everyone loves her. And I still love Deandra, I really do. But you know, because I get the sense that in real life Dallas that Deandra is like, you know, she is more influential than Leanne. We saw that in season one when Leanne was bragging about going to Deandra's wedding

and being like a bride's maid, you know? So I think she came in and like the fact that the audience really kind of rallied around Leanne starting last season and suddenly started to love Leanne. It probably was like a little hard for her to accept. so this is sort of like you know how it like she's like well you know what I'm gonna put Leanne in her place and everyone's gonna see that I'm the one in this way should that really calls the shots and I think it's just kind of turning into a mess. Yeah but also Dallas society fuck you guys

okay it just means you're loaded it's not like any one of you has some kind of personality where everybody's just Clammering to be around you because of your personality or your looks or anything else is because you have the most money and you You're in charities because you give money. You're literally charity cases, okay? Yeah, exactly Yourself Jimmy is a grand dom of society because she's fucking loaded. Yeah, by the way this has truly There's no segue to this, but I feel like I have to mention it before I forget because we

forgot. We didn't mention it yesterday and we forgot to, but Deborah Winger on Watch For Happens Live. How amazing was that? So good. Oh my. Well, Deborah Winger is a fucking monster from hell anyway. Yes. See, always has been. But oh, and you you know who I ended up being more mad at and that was a mad repeat. Fuck you a mad repeat. I didn't have any. I didn't.

I wasn't paying attention to mad repeat. I was only. It's just an ass kissy like, oh my god. Did I mention how much I love Deborah Winger? Like, oh, get your head out of Deborah Winger's ass. I got the sense that she was, the sense that she felt awkward and nervous and she was trying to kind of like, in a weird way, smooth things over.

And I felt like she was just like, this is so awkward, I don't know what to do with myself. So she just sort of like, just became like a, like just crazed. But honestly, like Deborah Winger watching her watching her just staying just grow for Andy was so deeply hilarious and yes it was awkward awkward television and yes she shouldn't have agreed to come on a show where there was gonna be she she knew what she was getting into I think but that being

said it was marvelous. Yeah so for those of you who didn't see it she's on a couple new show she's on some Amazon show't see it, she's on a couple new shows. She's on some Amazon show. I don't know, she's on a couple things. So she's back in the mix. So she comes on and Andy's doing her, the clip we saw was Andy's doing his lead to death. I'm gonna ask you questions and you can lead the fifths in just one of them. And he's like swiveling in his chair. He's like, you're gonna go really well He's like his swivel His happy swivel place Yeah, his first question is okay, so you wrote in your book about Shirley McClainch like no, I didn't

He's like you didn't You know you get set like oh He's like what? No, I didn't write about her know, he gets that like, oh, he's like, what? He's like, no, I didn't write about her. She wrote about me. Okay, she wrote about me. And he's like, oh, she has, get it straight. Like she's so furious.

He hasn't read her entire book or whatever before she did. And she's just looking at him and she even says at one point, like, you know, you look so like sweet and lovely, but and it's just so trails off. I even says at one point like, you know, you you look so like sweet and lovely But and it's just so trails off You're a pure dick, you know like she just has like she doesn't she only wants to talk about her craft and her answer So pretentious, but so hilarious when he's like who's the better kisser?

John Chavota or Richard gear or a third person and she's like or Richard Geer or a third person and she's like, well, that was like 40 years ago. So like, do you remember who you kissed 40 years ago? And he's like, well, if I were in like an Oscar winning whatever, then I probably would have. She's like, well, first of all, it wasn't really me kissing them. It was like, I was in a character. And so it was like character. I hate this. It was like I was in a character and so it was like character I hate this it was so not just like so funny

It's still why I hate Laura Lennie because I saw her on watch it crap it or watch what happens live I still hate her because of her actery ass when people act like oh, but that's not really Dabra linger kissing on that was that character and that character so maybe are you asking that character? Has she feels and he's like oh my god, I'm not gonna win here, you know But he just keeps swiveling like he gets more and more nervous in that area And it's yeah, and he starts getting testy and he and she's like you know Because that's like acting is like well actually I don't know because I'm not an actor So that's why I'm asking you so he was getting really prissy and then later on someone called in was like Hey, Deborah. I love urban cowboys.

One of my favorite movies and I thought you were great and I wanted to know and all this woman's talking, different wingers, like rolling her eyes and doing this thing with her hand. Like, come on. Okay, move forward, move forward, whatever. This idiot, right? Am I right, everyone? Looks at her watch. She's like, oh, really?

Urban cowboy right here this every day. No, you don't temper winger. Okay, you don't hear this every day. You know, she's some chain smoking, you know, like five pots of coffee a day, horrible monster, who takes a bath like one time every five weeks, and like kicks her dog down the street, muttering it herself. Yeah, no one is asking you about urban cabboys to get off your fucking high horse and be grateful. Yeah, exactly. But man was that hilarious and watching how uncomfortable it was. It was great. Yeah, she's all around really good. And then Amanda, he's like, oh my god, can I say again? Just. And actually, while we're talking about that, so another thing happened,

they had their real housewives awards, which, you know, it's a crappy, so who cares? But they did that. And then after, so apparently Kelly Dodd told Andy that Ramona said that she started the real housewives. Yeah, everyone knows I spotted the real housewives. The real she originally called the real Ramona's of Ramona, Ireland. The Ramona's a real New York Ramona. So she called Andy Callsher and he's like, um, Ramona, it's Andy. Just I'm calling because apparently you told Kelly

that you started, goes Andy said was a producer guy over there his name was like I don't know like Stupid stupid fake. I don't know whatever his name was Alan's You know monster. I don't know what it whatever his name was. He was like huge He was like the head of everything over there. He said we put it on the map and Andy's like you did not start the housewives You know that right? Yeah, O.C. Who knows even what that is like real housewives of what this was that was Nobody even knows what the O.C. is candy real housewives new walk. That's what the boss told me It was first we started 1990 on as everyone knows

Ramona No, I mean just so ridiculous and he's trying to explain to her. He's like, okay, so what you're saying is OC came out first, but you guys put it on the map, but she is no real housewives, New York started housewives He's like no, we didn't all right like quiet down Kanye West Kanye singer I Mean so ridiculous swipes and he's like no we didn't. All right, like quiet down Kanye West. Kanye singer. I mean, so ridiculous. They're wonderful.

OK, so that's all the watch what happens. Coverage. Yes, you did. Sorry, I just had to. I was like, if I don't say it now, I'm going to forget. And it has to be discussed. So OK, so back to this party, the Jack Retro party. So Deandra is out there with Kerry and she's like, you've awakened the dragon, the dragon's not nice. And let me ask you a question, Kerry. How does the dragon eat cabbage? Okay, how does dragon eat cabbage? Um, you eat it first.

Damn it! You've been talking about her. I really walked into that one, didn't I? She goes, you do not want to mess with the dragon. Here he goes. I know you can be a real bitch. She's not even kidding. Yeah. And the ender is like, well this is not gonna happen on my clock. And she's like getting herself like literally bouncing off of walls right now. And curious like, um, like, I just want to like see why people are coping Hagen and pretending to know them because that's literally nothing else to do So can we just focus on that?

Well, I've got full of it and if it happens again, I'm gonna mo their answers down if that is it Well, I mean not in Denmark because I want to celebrate your heritage. Okay, I'm gonna out We're going there for Carey sport. Carey And also I'm really hoping to run into Caroline Carolineaming, who, side note, Ronnie, she's in LA right now, BTWs. I'm hoping that we run into her also. So now we see Leanne and D and she is, they're both talking and Leanne's like, I love the Andra and D's like, and she loves you and she's hurting me with the thing she says.

And you're hurting her by the things that you say. Now at least, okay, I had been this team in the long time. I've just been a lady long time. I've had this square hair since 1933. Okay, you know what? And I have seen a lot of things. I know about a lot of relationships. I'm going to tell you.

What's going on, Leigh-Anne just turns her back right to D. Yeah, and D just like, D just turns into a marionette that's out of control. Her hands just go up and like, her body just like falls forward and she's just like, he just turns into like a marionette that's out of control. Her hands just go up and like, her body just like falls forward and she's like, I know she did not just steal my scene. Okay. Well, I'm just gonna go talk to Jack retro instead. Ha.

Ha ha ha ha. Leanne is like, listen, I already gave your daughter a spot on this show on my back. Don't think you're about to get one too, bitch. I loved that. She just turned right away from her. cares like, um, something's not right. I know I was going to talk to you about that. Your album start crying. What is that?

No, I met with the Andra. She's like, well, I heard about DeAndra attacking Cameron. And I'm telling you, I'm nervous about Copenhagen. I'll bring some alcohol. So yeah, that's what we need. Here goes. I think we just need to drink our way through it. I'm like, hmm, you really should think about these things before you make other accusations, right? Yeah, well, that's the thing. They're always drinking all the time. And even, oh, I guess this part's later. So Brandy and Carrie is are talking to T'Andra and Joyce. Oh, their silent friend. Yeah. Oh, they're silent friend. Yeah.

Oh, I put Rando, that's what I meant to put. It's Joyce. Have a rude to Joyce. Oh, sorry, Joyce. So, dear, uh, Brandon's like, how are you? You know me. She knows me. You don't really know me, Brandon Person. But here's what it is.

I say, but I feel, and my cut is, oh, my cut is full. There. A cabbage. She told my mother, I'm alcoholic. But it is I say but I feel and my cut is oh My good is full there a cabbage My mother alcoholic and he goes oh She did just like pops out out of nowhere Well, she's literally dressed like a jack in the box. So she just like pops up like She's like oh and guess what guess what Brandy your nail too. And Brandy for moments like, and she's like, oh, you didn't know that?

You didn't know that, Leigh Ann told me that. Yeah, apparently you just get together and drank and drank and drank and drank and drink. She's like, that allocation could affect my life forever because my baby adoption isn't finalized yet. Like, okay, but you're also like drinking a huge martini. So Mama D is like, you know what? You know what? I wish I could go over to Sweden

and be the referee between these ladies because they are going to be a brawl. I want to go to Sweden. I'm going to walk around and be like Sweden, Sweden, Sweden. I'm going to be the referee and they're like, um, except it's, yeah, it's Denmark. It's like, oh, well, I guess, same much for my Ikea trip fan fan. Um, so inside more green shots and Dandro and Brandy are talking and Dandro, I think they have my back.

I'm so proud of you for standing up and owning your truth and doing what you want. You know, like dropping cake upside of your bad, which is totally something you would have done without me, you know, sitting there egging you on about it. 49, get the shades off of me, mother. Yeah, green miracle shots that are reformulated for all. Okay, everyone, because guess what, I'm a dragon by me, green dragon. Okay, I'm the miracle dragon. Deandra with the magic dragon. See, it's by the L 22. Okay, I'm the miracle dragon. Deandra the magic dragon. See, it's by the L 22. Well, I'm always here to support someone's misery.

So they hug and then Brandy before she leaves, she's like, well, anyway, this alcoholic got to go down like a humongous martini. Look at those, watch those rumors, guys. So then we go over to Stephanie's house for its Val Renewal day. She's in doing, she's getting glammed up and everything. Brandy shows up. She won't be able to stay for the ceremony

because she has a previous engagement. And then Carrie shows up and Carrie's like, she's like fully just gonna vomit all over this renewal. Like, but I would dig myself out of a grave to be her goal. Brandy's like, Reps. I tried to run my face under my pasta arm in the kitchen for five minutes. Right. I still feel like shit. So, Brandy is like, I'm so happy for you. So let me tell you about all the gossip about the people

I hate and that you're not befriending and betraying me before I leave you at your wedding power renewal ceremony. So she tells her everything and carries like, well, I would actually say that she's right because this wasn't the not-but-teague thing. In one breath, she acted like, you know, they're just drinking a lot, but then in one breath, she acted like, you know, they're just drinking a lot,

but then in another breath, she literally said alcoholic, and then like in another breath, like did anybody eat their ajard fish? Anybody? Like with that a ton of other breath? There's like a lot of discussion about cabbage all of a sudden, and I don't really understand why that is,

but I sent herring not cabbage, so. Do you cow-seed cabbage? Like I don't even know where that came from i don't know why i'm saying that now is that a thing so now they're you know they're like what Stephanie's like but she said she didn't say i call it uh... reverse uh... reverse uh... and brandy's like uh... she's proving every reason i won't have a relationship with her

all i do is try and try Yeah, okay, so Whatever well step-based step-basedly decides that she's gonna confront Leanne about her saying alcoholic when she said She didn't say alcoholic and she's gonna confront her in Denmark So that's something we have to look forward to. Yeah. And then basically a lot of this is just Stephanie getting ready, right, for her wedding. Yeah, it's all just like, it's just fine.

It's, you know, she's a little disappointed that Brandi has to leave early. Her original made of honor shows, I was actually, tear, like cry, cry. And then she's just happy and she's crying shows actually. Like, cry, cry. And then she's just happy and she's crying and their vows. My favorite Travis's brother Joey was there.

His debut on the show, you got like a cameo appearance. I was like, ah, pitter-patter, pitter-patter. And basically Travis gives her a new ring. He's like, did your fingers get bad or something? I can't, I can't, but this, the pit does ring on your fingers. She's like, you own me butt sex.

That was hilarious, yeah. I hope you don't make up, but you own me butt sex. Damn it. And her mom was like, what? What is that? How can you have sex with a conjunctive? I don't get that butt sex. Are people having and sex now too? How can you have sex with a conjunctive? I don't get that but sex

Are people having and sex now to oh? So confusing are people having yet sex yet sex So Carrie now we go to packing and Basically leaving to go to To Copenhagen and Travis is like yeah, I've been to Copenhagen a bunch of times. I dated a girl that lived right by there and it's definitely like, wow, wow, this is great. Thank you for that nice shot of insecurity. Right when I was starting to feel better about our marriage. She like glances at the countdown timer. She's like, oh gosh, I hope I'm getting a little concerned that I'm happy a little accurate.

So it lands in her in her closet asking Carly the dog for fashion advice. I really do enjoy Carly. Like Carly really amuses me. And Cam is talking to Chuck. Cam pulls out like this rack of clothing. She pulls it up her closet. And courts just sitting there like, this is not your

entire closet. She's like, this is not your entire closet. She's like, you court. No, this is just part of it. Gosh, court. Gosh. And then, Dan just like, I am not in a good place, Jeremy, with the hand. And he's like, what's wrong with camera right now?

I don't even understand this stuff. This is a woman stuff and go, y'all, why don't you all just go off on a girly trip or girls go and just have your period together Exactly doing that typical guy thing and then court was he courts also doing his own version But he's like are you going to Mars or you going to Copenhagen? Get it because you're clothing is crazy. Like why aren't you wearing gingham and khakis? Like I don't get it. Crazy women, right?

She's like, look at my clutch. It says, shut door in it. Get it, because it's theor. And I walked it through a door. And I got a net a poor or two Get it. He's like please leave. Please just story himself down this staircase So they go to the airport and everyone's upgrading themselves to first class except for Leanne and Deandra Because Deandra doesn't want to piss off Mama D right when she took over the company and Leanne tries to get fancy

Because she hears everybody else does it so she goes up to the first desk counter and she's like, not a grave was that good cost. And they're like, uh, $1,200 and then she looks at the camera kind of embarrassed. And she's like, I think I'll spend that on something else. Do you guys happen to have a, have a, have a scrambler here at the airport that I could spend that money on? No, no, okay. These people aren't having to buy a transformer as a wind dress, so I think I'll just fly

in the regular, but she's so mad at it. She's so mad that she has to fly in coach and everybody else is in first class. And she and Andrew are, they are truly in coach and it's kind of crazy. I mean, this, uh, uh, Bravo usually sends their women first class,, you know the part of the Bravo brand is you know luxury So the fact that they didn't even pay for that is hilarious. Yeah, and um she she gets into her seat She she tells the guy next door because she gets a window seat so she has to cross everybody she goes I cannot wait to get off this plane like oh, oh. Oh god. That's gonna be a long flight to Denmark. I mean, while the other girls are like totally comfortable and curious like, oh my god,

I'm gonna make my bed real quick on the seat, which is like a bed. Could you tell me, am I said that? Thanks. And Kim's like, I feel like I'm in a spa. Wow. And you know that Leanne is somewhere trying to get her touch screen to work. So I'm trying to watch Garfield the movie and we'll not accept my fingerprint. And that brings us to the end of the Real Housewives of Dallas. Go get your tickets for our Real Housewives of Dallas live show next week over in Seattle. And then right after that December, we are going to be in Nashville, Mother. Yes, Mother of Tickets at WatchwetCrapins.com

and your Christmas shirts, Ramona Christmas and Hanaka. Go get those at Crappensomurch or Crappens. WatchwetCrapins.com. We will talk to you tomorrow, everybody. Yeah, for some Shaza sunset. Have a great weekend or while I mean, so it's only Thursday, but I'm thinking forward. Bye everyone.

Bye. door while I'm in the... so it's only Thursday but I'm thinking forward. Bye everyone! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.