Watch What Crappens - RHOD: In The Name of the Father

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

This week on The Real Housewives of Dallas, a birthday party for Tiffany goes south as D'andra finds herself cornered by both Brandi and Mama Dee. Plus, more fun shaman experiences, a frightened snake, and the epic romance that led to Dee marrying into the Simmons family. It's all pretty excellent. This episode is available with Crappens on Demand. Watch it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/48856436Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, you can also check me out on the game brain podcast. If you like board games, the way I do. And joining me is someone who is just wonderful. She was born

Ronnie Karam and his name is still Ronnie Karam. What's going on Ronnie? Welcome. Hi. Hi, Ben. Hi. How are you? You look at how are you? How are you? I'm great. Thank you. So do you my god. You're wearing the same clothes you wore. I'll watch what happens My second so are you that is so funny. Oh my god That was so fun. Thanks to everybody who watched this on watch what happens live Thank you really good time guy and what a time to get to go on that show who watched this on Watch What Happens Live. Okay, thank you. Really? Good. Time, guys. And what a time to get to go on that show

right after watching Real Housewives from California. Wow, this episode cracked me up. In the beginning, I was like, oh, this is a nice episode. And in the last 20 minutes, I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. Before we dive into it, let's just remind everyone that today is a crap and it's a demand episode, which means that if you go to patreon.com slash watch

or crap and sign up for crap and it's a demand. You can watch us record the episode. You don't have to just listen. So you can see us, you can see our shirts, you can see the pillows behind Ronnie, you can see the the shadow of the door artwork, you can see a poster of Taylor Swift behind me it's a whole world sure is man um so let's dive into some real housewives of Dallas shall we? okay so where we left off we had uh we're at the shaman party okay the dandruff had shaman that's the low dandirty shaman and um brandy has told Tiffany that she's really uncomfortable around her because she just can't be her normal racist self and always has to watch what she's saying. Because there's a minority in the rooms.

That's been a really awkward thanks, Tiffany. Yeah. So basically, the cliffhanger is Brandy being like, can we talk privately? I really like to talk privately. And so that was the cliffhanger, like, what is Tiffany gonna say? And when we come back, Deandra says, well, you guys are gonna get to talk tonight. So, I was like, oh, okay, Deandra's gonna solve that for us.

She's like, I forgot to come to a ceremony tonight, because Daryl and H has loved the things prepared, mother He has so much prepared and before you get excited, no, you will not be getting new extensions, okay Heart extensions you'll get spiritual extensions Yeah, so they have to go in and sit in a big circle and Dan just like y'all looks so pretty, but I did get everyone calfed hands because we all wear white for purity and Blew is love. Sineth is white and there's blue and you're gonna put it fuck off right now. I mean place put these on right now I'm a different person because I know an extension shaming okay.

That's why I didn't come to this you can't have two thirds of the American flag white and blue gotta have the rant too. So um I like when they go in to sit with the shaman, that Tiffany's like, um, is there a seating chart? Like, that's so Tiffany, to like, need a seating chart for the shaman. The exercise. Well, there we have flow chart and a PowerPoint to go with this thing.

And Carrie looks at her as I'm sick. Oh, this is interesting. Oh, you look so funny with yours. And Brandy's like, yeah, this looks like something that my grandma would wear Well, thanks Brandy the answer just gave that to you for free So so Darren's going around with like a smoky thing and everyone's just like coughing But of course they're being like really dramatic with their coughs Yeah, can I have a little less smoke of my allergies?

I'm like, you're allergic to incense? Like what do you allergic to exactly? So then, Jippamy says, I have read multiple studies that meditation has benefits, but to me, meditation equals maps, which I don't take because I work every single day, which hopefully I'll talk to my boss about, which I'm very stressed about all that

I'm really stressed because I have a meeting today where I can ask my boss if I can meditate So Deandra's like this mother is about the rebirth of our friendship and I want to open my home and my my space To be a much friend of your experience and nothing says from the experience to me saying, sit down and bring a cat's hat on you, okay? Take it right there. He's like, thank you my sister. I was like, shot. I'll hop this fucking guy. Okay, look, I, you know, do your new age, whatever, okay? You know, you all know that I will get a crystal if I think it'll help my bank account. Okay, I will.

Or if it'll help me like eat less, I'll get like whatever stone I need to and like feel them. It's part of me, believe it or not, is into that. But these kind of phony queens, I can't with this. I know actually a hairdresser who I'm neighbors with in Los Angeles, who is like this. He's like, oh, guess what? Now I'm into new age spiritual teaching. I'm like,

get out of my fucking doorway, sir. Like you couldn't come over here when you were a hairdresser and you cannot come over here as a spiritual teacher. Go away and I'm not your brother. So Cameron's just smiling like this, like I have made me things to say, but my mother always said, if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all girl. So then so now they're gonna vocalize and they're gonna let out a tone for as long as they possibly can. So they all start vocalizing which is about what you'd expect from this cast when they vocalize. It's like, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa everybody after me. Oh my God. Oh my God. You need a lung brush. Yeah.

So this is coming from a vapor. Yeah. So they're all doing it. And Cameron is making like a little megaphone with her mouth, you know. And she's like, you know what? Like, I'm a little immature from meditating. Like I just haven't been able to get into a trance.

I can't do that. It's hard. And Carrie's cracking up to you. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, not that into a new age shit or whatever, but I also feel like if I were there, I would respect it. Not like laughing, which is regardless of whatever you think about Darren, it's totally disrespectful to him as disrespectful to Deandra. And I also feel like if Deandra giggled through some stupid thing that Carrie set up, Carrie would be like, oh, I don't know why you would do that. I said this up. It's just so nice. I don't know why you would do that. I said this up.

It's just so nice. Yeah, exactly. And Brandy's like, this is a shaman slash hairdresser. So I'm not really sure where we're going with this. I was like, well, you could use some spirituality and some decent hair. So maybe she'd just like give it a chance. Yeah.

And then Darren's like, okay, so this song is a call and repeat. So whenever I sing, you repeat back to me. I know this one goes like this. Mother, mother, but she never repeats back to me. Okay, it's a call and repeat. When I sing back repeated to me, okay, oh, we are we. Hey, I owe there. Shit it. What a she did what a stupid son McDonald out of farm okay what do I want to know about your farm brex and better else farm a McDonald stupid

Cameron's like how is everyone so into this right now I'm already thinking everyone's so brainwashed. And Tiffany is, doesn't even make sense. Because she said that she thought that the same and guy, he was just going to get everyone into a trance so that he could brainwash them into going onto his website and buying all of his products. So she's saying, already everyone is born washed, we're washed. So Tiffany's like, how many more times do we have to do this chant? I'm getting sleepy and I still have to do an operation out for this. So then we have like a fun camera work where it's like,

druggy and they're all like, they're doing like cult dancing. You know, like that specific dance move that is only performed in cults, where you put your hands on your head, and you bounce around a lot. It's like, we got the Roger Rabbit, we got the cabbage patch, we got the cult dance. And he said, I'm doing that. So, Terence, like, wow, you can all sing. Look at that.

And Brandy tells us, I'm skeptical of this whole thing because I'm Christian and this makes me feel like I'm doing something against my beliefs. Well, by the way, so I am Jewish, so I don't know the ins and outs of Christianity, but as far as I can tell, was there anything anti-Christian happening in this? Wasn't it just all about like spiritual? I come from a very extreme Christian background, okay? I've talked about it a lot. I'm not gonna bore you all with it this time, but I hear this stuff all the time from my family.

It's like, tarot cards, oh, that Satan's work, you know? And anytime you go to guidance, kind of the stuff that she's saying at the end, anything that you use as guidance, it's not Christ, it's un-Christian and this and that. But you know what, keep your fucking judgment at home. No one needs you to, I mean, the general consensus is, you know, if you don't believe in me,

you're going to hell, right? I mean, basically, so it's not like it's the sweetest religion ever, probably no religion is, but shut up, Brandi, you changed people around with deal-dose. Yeah, I just, I don't know, for me, I just, what I saw was something that was about like being introspective and I mean, would I't know, for me, I just, what I saw was something that was about like being introspective and I mean, would I go to a shaman?

It's not really what I'm not really into it, but if I were, if I were something I had to do, I just wouldn't be, I don't know, I wouldn't be like this is a bad thing. Yeah, they're not asking you to skin a baby. You know what I mean? You're sitting there in a calf tan and humming to some queen be eating a drum like you'll survive this ramby. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so anyway, so Darren's like, so Deandra wanted this to be an opportunity for healing, and so this is going to be a diet, and this is going to be partners, and Deandra's going to sign them, and when you're done you'll all have much longer hair. Okay here we go. First up

dandering carry so they get and they face each other and face each other and danders like when you say I'm selfish and I'm all good friend it makes me angry and I wish for you in healing That I may not be the type of friend you expect But I'm doing the best I can mother She carries basically paraphrase of dish Yes, yeah, and carries like oh Deandra when I hear you talk about me behind my back, I feel like, in a way, you're trying to sabotage me. I don't know what that means, to sabotage me, it's just,

you're sabotaging me. It's not like I have a business or a goal or I'm doing anything, but you're sabotaging me and my wish to heal the situation is to communicate more with each other and for you to change and be a better person. Thank you. I'm reading much. You know, I feel like you're sabotaging me. It's like, you don't want me to stand the doors and listen in on conversations that I'm not a part of or something and I don't like that. So please change. And they're like, oh my God.

There's like great job, great passive aggression. That was amazing both of you. And Cameron is like, this group loves to barf up a motion. Like, it's like I'm in a therapy session over where I go and it's exhausting. I'm too much of a wasp to be at this much around my emotions. Yeah. So then it's Brandy and Tiffany and Brandy's like, can I go first? I'm gonna cry.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna,, I won't. I felt uncomfortable Not because of you, but like because of me internally having to be around you Who's a minority who I can't say racist things around which hurts me? Do you understand? So like I just want to say it's not you for being a minority It's about me not being able to make fun of minorities openly. Do you get that? I'm sorry. I want to be myself around you.

And you just check me if I'm wrong. I love you. I love you as much as I can love a non-right person. I love you. I love you. And so, uh, dangerous. Dangerous. Well, I think it's a big step.

Okay. I think it's the first step in healing. It's a very like, well, I think it's a big step. Okay. I think it's the first, the first step in healing. It's a, it's a very big, well, maybe it's not a step. Maybe it's more of a, maybe it's more of like a, a leg spasm, but it's, it's, it's, it's movement. Mm. And Tiffany really, you know, you got to give her credit because she, she just, she doesn't bring anything up. She just keeps it on, she keeps it to brandy, right? Right. She's like, if you say something to me,

then it's not best representing who you are. I'll tell you. And then we can go from there because we have to get past this. If we want to have a deeper relationship, I'm talking as quietly as I've ever talked before. Or you understanding. If the plane starts to go down, grab the oxygem and put it on the child. Put it on yourself first before the child. Are you understanding my directions? I don't really feel comfortable with that

because I want to put the mask on myself first before the child, and I just feel like I can't use the mask the way I would want to Oh my god, was that racist what I just said? Was that racist what I just said? So Brandy's like, I'm thrilled You know how Brandy says everything she's like I'm thrilled Yeah, she's shocked that it was through a shame in I would have rather it been Jesus She's shocked that it was through a shame in I would have rather it been Jesus Shut up, okay, you know what it's like everyone

Everyone in my church told me growing up do whatever you want but keep it behind Those doors and that's exactly how I feel about you Keeping it home. I don't need to hear this shit on the housewives lady. Yeah, I do. I think it's hilarious. So, uh, so then Darren covers them in rose petals and he's like, okay guys, any negativity you feel is going to be pushed out into the rose petals because this is Bravo and I've been told that in Bravo, you take terrible, terrible things and put them on to very beautiful things and watch them with their entire diet. So you take terrible, terrible things and put them on to very beautiful things and watch them with their entire life. Release those traits you want to get rid of. Let them just fall into the pedals. Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, dung, Well again, American beauty. Beauty, yeah, exactly. Have you ever felt like a plastic bag trailing in the wind?

No. So he's like, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, someone's blowing me. Get out of my scene, dander. I'm gonna get out of my scene, Leigh-Anne. All right. I'm filling your storyline that makes you can't be part of it anymore.

So, Kerry is again being an asshole because you're supposed we're just lying there and like taking in the Rose petals or giving off things to the Rose petals. And Carrie's just taking the Rose petals and throwing them up. Like, oh, this is funny. This is funny.

I'm like, you're such an asshole. You're being such an asshole right now. Yeah, they really are dicks. So, Brandy's like, well, this is what I would imagine if I was going to hell. And Carrie's like, yeah, that's scary. I mean, what a noise it's supposed to do to us. And Karen's like, yeah, that's scary. I mean, what a noise it's supposed to do to us. And he's like, well, it's supposed to, you know, break things loose.

I farted. Thank you, Sandra. Thank you for the support. I'm brandy, so I felt it first. Like, I was going to heaven. And then like, I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to hell. And he's like, oh, no, that's not the intention. He's all hurt. Yeah, he's like, oh no, that's not the intention. He's all hurt.

Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm sorry that a benign gong sound sounded like hell to you. You must live in a warped reality. You stupid bitch. So here's my CD. Do you want me to sign it? I mean, I don't know how a gong could sound so scary, but like a church worker is like

and that's like heavenly. I mean, it is the leotlokin of instruments. So Stephanie is like, I think Darren, she's just taking the hairdressing. We're having a shamanning because he's like really good at extensions. And Brandy says, there's this center in Arizona where you start humming and then you have an orgasm and then they give you a certificate that says, Brandy's not a racist anymore. Please don't take away her job. Darren's like, well, thank you for holding space with your noble honor. And um, if you want to come by the salon, you can hold your noble honor and also get a perm. So I'll see you there. Um, come to the salon where I

rented noble space, um, to come out your honor. Okay, thanks ladies. So now, uh, we go over to Tiffany who's in bed with Daniel, her husband and her meeting is today and she's like really scared because she wants to go from five days a week to four days a week and they have like this moment where she like goes into her closet in like civilian clothes and she closes the door and then she opens it and she's in scrubs and They love this they love this work and they're gonna do it over and over again for Tiffany every time she goes. It's like here. It's like, and then she opens it and she's totally trans full.

It's like when you're a little kid and you, and you like first use a camcorder and you realize that you can press pause and like have someone move out of the shot and then press play again or record again. And it's like, they disappeared into the air. Yep. So Daniel is the most unenthusiastic support system, but also like the sweetest guy. Yeah. Because he's always like having some kind of a drama and he's like, mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. You can do it. I need your pet talk, Daniel. He's like, I believe in you. She's like, okay, thank you. I thought I could use a better path talk. And he's like, okay, let me try this one. We're rich either way.

That works. That actually works. That's fine. I was sort of hoping for maybe some sort of variation on a speech that see every coupe once held, but that's fine. But that's fine. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come

here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares of our Freshly Honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then, so now it's Brandy's house, the kids are just like bouncing around as usual.

And Brandy has a moment with Brinkley. We get a lot of scenes with Brooklyn who's kind of a terror. She's at that age, I guess. But we don't have a lot of time with Brinkley and actually Brinkley is very, very sweet. And Brandy has actually, I think, a very lovely scene with her daughter, where her daughter wants to do makeup with her.

And we learn that her daughter has dyslexia on ADHD and is starting a new school. And Brandi talks about the challenges with that. And it's a very sweet scene, but then Brandi is like, when my family goes through something good or bad, we like to Jesus, we don't do a shaman, we don't realize, it's through prayer. I'm like, that's fine.

I totally support whatever method you want to do, but I don't know, it felt a little judgy at the same time. Okay, here's my problem with it. Okay, look, my problem is not, I'm not the anti-Christ, okay? It's not like I hate Christians. My whole family are Christians, like I guess I'm kind of Christian in my own certain way.

I'm a cafeteria Christian, as they would say. Christian, but, well, just because I was raised that way, so if I pray, I believe that I'm talking to somebody, maybe it's Kuk, I have my own beliefs that I feel we're talking about. So I'm not like bashing on Christians in general. Here's what I'm, I'm bashing on Brandy. Here's what I see with Brandy. Whenever a politician gets in trouble for fucking some hooker, guess what they do. They all come out and start yapping about Jesus. What do they do when they need your vote? And there are pieces

shit criminal. They come out yapping about Jesus because they know if anybody says that you can't say anything if I say Jesus first. And so Brandy ever since she's gotten in trouble has been on Instagram posting Bible verses and this and that. Oh fuck off, you're obviously using religion to further your own pathetic agenda. And it's gross. It's gross to Christians. It's gross to people in general.

You're a gross person. Stop it Stop using the Bible as your shield for your city fucking personality and behavior. It's not cool Yeah, you teller. You teller Ron. Well, that's good. I like that. It's annoying and that's like it's important to say that because I don't want to be like Oh Christianity stupid. It's nothing like that. It's people like it's like when Trump And I know that's like literally political, but when Trump, to get elected anywhere, you have to be, you have to have the conservatives on your side, right?

The Christian conservatives as a Republican. So Trump obviously is Trump. So when he's running for president, they're like, well, he's gonna need the conservative vote. So he gets like these famous preachers to come out and say, well, I had a prayer meeting with him and guess what, guys, he ain't perfect. And he ain't a full Christian, but he's just a baby Christian. It's like, shut up. Okay. So now you're going to be out. Yes, it's totally hypocritical. It's like, look, you've got our vote now because you said Jesus

a couple of times. It's just gross. And do I assume that everybody's that stupid of a sheep? You just say, I like Jesus so you get my vote. I mean, it's just... Well, and unfortunately for us as to gay men, we have often heard a lot of rhetoric that's attached to the sort of things that Brandy is saying. We've heard a lot of stuff that's also very anti-gay coming from like sort of linked to that language. So not saying that that's what Brandy's anti-gay coming from like sort of linked to that language. So not saying that

that's what brandy is, I'm not saying brandy is anti-gay. Well actually, we are bring it up. We are triggered by that kind of stuff as well. Like when I hear that, I think of people who are being very evangelical and saying that I didn't, I know that I had a choice in how I was raised or an in sexual sexuality, etc, etc, etc. So for me, that's what I start to get the hair sharp to stand up on the back of my neck. Yeah, well today there's a legitimate example. Vatican Rips gay unions said God says God does not

and cannot bless him. So you know, Pope draws the line. That's the headlines. So here's where I just say, go fuck yourself. Okay, I don't need your fucking approval. So you have fun over there judging everybody else when you're supposed to be the good guys. Have fun. Brandy.

Brandy. So, so now we go to Tiffany at home, and she's showering, she's back from her meeting. And guess what? Tom, to do the trick again, she goes into her closet with scrubs and comes out a second later in regular clothes So Daniel's like I made a sharkoo to retray for us I'm just like, oh that is so sweet babe. Okay, so let me tell you about it

So I made all these talking points. I was like I have been full time for eight years I came back to work six weeks after twid. I deserve time off, but at the same time, I don't want to not be taken seriously or passed up for leadership. And I got through this whole thing. And he's like, I completely agree with everything that you said. You deserve to grow and be you. And then she's like, I mean, and then I was like, why did I make this then such a big thing? Like why did I make this new thing? I was like, I don't know, beats me. We've been asked this question for several weeks now.

We were like, okay, you're gonna get one day less of work. I'm sure it's mine. She's like, why am I been catastrophic? I wrote this text, I don't know this word. Catastrophous straining, catastrophicizing. Catastrophicizing, I think is what she said. I think making it into a catastrophe. Catastrophicizing., catastrophicizing. Catastrophicizing, I think is what she said. I think making into a catastrophe, catastrophe. I know I got that, I just never heard that.

And I was like, wow, I'm really dumb. It's like, why have I been doing that with this meeting, asking for one day a week off, I'm such an idiot. I felt, so like such an idiot, that I decided that I was gonna work for five days a week. I'm like, oh, no, she didn't say that. But she's, so then Daniel's like,

well, I wonder if your mom's gonna be excited and Tiffany's like, she hasn't too excited. And it made me realize that one of the many things that this pandemic has taken from us is scenes with Tiffany's mom because you just know that Tiffany's mom will be amazing. You know that she is just gonna be so disdainful and so disapproving of anything Tiffany does.

And that's kind of like what I look for in a mother in Bravo. That's why I think Mama D really resonates for me because she just loves to take down her daughter. And I was like, wait a second. We should have had so many scenes with Tiffany's mom all season long. This has like, this pandemic has to end.

I think she needs to see this season and then she'll come on. I think the mom's probably. Well, she's coming on next week. She's coming on next week, but I'm saying we needed to have like lots of... Yeah, full character. Lots of nagging, you know? Yeah. So then we go over to Jill and Gretchen with Lushra.

Yeah, and Kerry is there. So Kerry is throwing up birthday party for Tiffany. And so she's looking at a backyard space for a Moroccan themed party. Cause I guess it sounds like they were gonna go to Morocco for their cash trip and they couldn't do that. So there's gonna be like belly dancers and little poofs.

So that's that. And then we go back to Tiffany's house. I mean, unless anyone wants to really talk about an event thing. I just thought you were gonna keep going. So it's just watching the TV. There was nothing. It was carried me like, I love this face. It's one of those house live scenes where she's like, oh, you know what, I threw a party.

I do it right. And then she just walks into this backyard Which isn't really an incredibly impressive backyard. She just walks back thing goes wow great job keep going Yeah, you're working real hard. Yeah So now we have Tiffany with her daughters and they're on a swing and they're eating popsicles and she's like well Guess what ladies? I had my meeting and reading popsicles and she's like, well, guess what, ladies, I had my meeting and guess what my boss said and her daughter said, he said, no!

She's like, she goes, no, why don't you guess now on the other daughter goes? Yes, very good. You get a Rolex and you sleep in the closet tonight. You're driving a bike for the rest of your life. You're never giving a good car. Our financial earnings just went down by 10% by the age of 80. So now we have, now we go over to Cameron's house

where court is throwing a football with Hilton. Last week we inaccurately said it was their son who was dressed in the uniform. Hello. I totally forgot. I totally forgot. I totally forgot. I totally forgot that we had scenes, I think it was last season where Hilton wanted to do football

and stuff like that. So I was so ashamed if that counts to anybody. I was ashamed. I was ashamed. I was ashamed. What the fuck is wrong with us? So, um, Cam's like, what's your name gonna be again? Holtman she's like dream crusher cuz I crushed the boys dreams

I love that she's already a hero to me Throwing around a little pink football so funny and then so they're throwing it to Cameron and having Cameron throw it and she's just like I'm not very good at this. It's just like, Robo. What would mommy's nickname be? And Kroko's wallet crusher maybe. Oh, I'm like, you're the one who's buying new house.

Yeah, he makes like every husband joke ever, you know. Well, like crusher, like a sporty Barbie's into it now. Huh, she's like, my sport was shopping. He's like, yeah, will we first start a dating? I would take her to the Cowboys game and she would just take stacks of Vogue magazines. Yeah, like six or seven of them. I mean, it's a furry long game.

Yeah, I got bored. Okay, I got so bored, it was like four hours. So, and quartz, like, well, you understand the rules now. She's 100% no, well, you understand the rules now. She's a hundred percent. No, I don't understand the rules. So they go in and sit and she's like arranging the pillows so she can perfectly sit between them. And he goes, yeah, I'm not going to sit there. That couch isn't really great for hobbits. And she was, that's why I got it. And it just zooms in on his legs. So, at least, at least it's out there.

And now we've said it. And now we've said it. So, there are three buyers who are interested in the house. And, but courts like, but I don't want to get you involved until it's done deal, because you're just a pretty simple woman, you know, and little ladies don't need to be bothered with things like finances. And so he's like, you don't want to see the way

the sausage is being made. You just want to eat the sausage. And she's like, well, of course I want to eat the sausage. And I feel like for a glimmer, it felt like we saw the real cam in that moment, because she sort of laughs. And then she's like, back to me, back to old, back to camera. She's totally cracked up. And he says, I mean, babe, the process of making the sausage is really gross.

Do you know how they do it? It's like, I do not want to think about that. All right. And he's like, okay, look, I'm not lying to you. Just there is something fishy person can't fit on this couch. Okay, very fishy. And he's like, are you spying on me or what? She's, yeah, you want to see my detective stuff?

And she brings over her phone and she's like, let me go to the water app, okay? I don't understand, because I was like, literally playing on the phone the other day, and I clicked on our address, and it says, pending. Yeah, it says pending. Yeah, it's pending and as far as I can see I don't see any sausages on this listing. So... So basically she sees that I was like contingent in pending and so he's like, well I'm talking to a buyer but there's nothing for me to tell you yet at this point because the house hasn't sold, so,

and she's like, that's because we haven't closed, okay? And Cameron's right, like, how do you, I just don't understand this dynamic of like, she's saying, tell me what's going on with this house, and he's like, you don't need to know because we haven't sold it yet. By the time she does learn, we don't wanna be closed, what if she has something to say about it, you know?

Well, here's the thing, like, like normally I would totally be on that side. I mean, what you can't tell women the same thing and have them react. Like give me, it's so sexist, but the reason, and it was explained in an earlier episode is because last time they thought the house sold and it didn't sell, Cameron was in bed for like two weeks crying. So that's also because Quirk killed her dog. for like two weeks crying. So that's also because Quark killed her dog. So, oh, well, that's true. But she did, she did, he did say, well, they said specifically something like,

you know, if it doesn't work, I can't have you in bed again for two weeks. So, I don't know, maybe I separated those two things, but yeah, of course she has to know. This is just silly. Well, she says, this is like their storyline. It's like wacky women. What? Next, we're gonna ask know this is just silly. Well, she says, like their storyline is like wacky women.

What? Next we're gonna ask how much is in the bank account camp? Exactly. And she's like, I'm just afraid that if my voice isn't heard, then my voice won't be heard later. My well, that's usually how a voice not being heard will work. So of course, like, he's like, I'm going to do better in making you keep me involved in major decisions. And then he's like, well, while I, you know, I look

like I'm a jerk, but everything I'm doing is with best intentions. You know, I just want my wife to have her dream home, and I don't want to see her sad again. And Cameron's like, um, that shows you do that's to control that shows that you do control. do you feel like you don't have control do not have control is like no. Wow. Wow. Wow. So he agrees to fill her in but she tells us right in front of him. She's like we've got a lot of therapy down the road.

A lot of therapy. A lot of therapy. And he goes go make me some sausage and they crack up. So then Brandy and Stephanie are face timing about what they're going to wear to the big party. And Stephanie's like, well, Carrie's coming over. So I'm like so excited because like the party's going to be like so fun and I. Yeah. And then Carrie is showing her dress to Stephanie. And she's looking at her dress to Stephanie. Adji. Ah, look at this.

Super Z-Through. Ah, party like it's 1999. I'm 21. Ha, ha, ha. Um, Daniel, like this dress, I think it's my fave, but you know, the velvet's going to be really hot. And he's like, oh no. Yeah, he's like, I've never worn velvet.

Check. You don't have a purple like velvet pimp suit with a game? And then we go to the party. Welcome to Morocco! Looks nothing like Morocco. There's some pillows on the ground, and then everything else is just like non-Moroccan at all. Yeah, sitting on the ground does not make it Morocco.

Okay, sitting on the ground. Yeah, so Kerry is like, when I show up at a party, I'm all about having fun and pushing people into water and maybe they drown But when I throw a party, I want to make sure everything is perfect, which is why I'm bringing a little kitty tubes So we can throw people in the big kitty tube Look there's champagne coming out of hands from walls crazy It's like these little doors open in the wall So many glasses of champagne.

Wow. They just have little pesses on them on their hands. Yeah. All those independent hands, not on bodies, and Morocco just walking around. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

So Deandra's big surprise is that she's bringing Mamadhi. And so that's exciting. And so Brandi shows up for her and she's like, I haven't been to Morocco, but I'm not sure that Pink balloons are quite on theme, which is actually correct. I think that Brandy's correct on this one, actually. Yeah.

And Cam's like, oh my God, a pink carpet. I have to walk the carpet because I like pink. I'm going to need a picture of me walking down the carpet Because pink is my color. I didn't know curry had such great party skulls. I love pink Yeah, it's really showing Tiffany that she really cursed for her and she wants this friendship to go forward into a lake if possible so to go forward into a lake if possible. So, so Deandra arrives with Mama D and there's everyone's hugging and everything. And now Daniel and Tiffany are approaching. And Tiffany's like, is it at a public venue?

And then it goes, yes, that thing. Which is like this random shade from Daniel for the first time all season. And Tiffany says, growing up, birthdays were not special. Like, I didn't have a cake or parties. I got a hard boiled egg for luck and like 20 bucks. Like one birthday, my dad was like, you're nine now, right? And I was like, dad, I'm 11. So she walks in and everyone's like,

happy birthday, Tiffany, you know, it's all that stuff. Everyone's cheering and everything and hugs and, you know, it's just like Tiffany's just so happy because no one's ever thrown her such a big birthday party before. And it's like, here's your first present. It's Mama D. It's like, oh, Mama D. It's like, how, how daughter, wish I had, how real daughter. My, my favorite daughter. Mye. It's like, how, how daughter, wish I had, how real daughter, my, my favorite daughter, my daughter.

I love you, honey. You know, I just love Tiffany. She's like a second kid to me. You know, I mean, we saw how that worked out with the first one, but second one's doing a great, great job. I love you, honey. So tell me, if you spent any time in your pantry lately, I didn't think so.

You know, Deandra's like a little dog. Did you see that in the house of Mama D? She's so shady, someone sent it to us, and I was cracking up. So Mama D has this little dog, and she put on Instagram a picture of the dog getting into the pantry, and it's like on a shelf in the pantry,

sniffing all the food. And she says, oh, little dog, dog loves his food so much. I mean, he just loves that painting. It reminds me of Dandro. Can't get Dandro out of a pantry. Can't wash her either without a whole bunch of barking. So, she's so shady. I commented on that and I just put mom.

So Tiffany is like, oh, Mama D, you miss the shaman. And she goes, then Mama D tells us, she's, I don, do you miss the shaman? And she goes, then Mama, do you tell us, I just, I don't even know what a Sharma is. Okay, I could just imagine in my mind someone sitting on the floor, smoking pops and spraying stuff and like, I don't know, that's weird, like, that's weird. Get out of like, um, Sharma.

And so Tiffany's like, I'm not good with being surprised. Like, I don't like when patients surprise me either. They just lie all the time. And they're just like, well, what weird stuff have people come into the emergency room for? And Brandy's like, I've ever had to do a surgery on people that have put remote controls up there, but I read about that the buy-a-ball.

Yeah. And Tiffany's like, yes, actually, you would not believe the things I've seen and pulled out of people's butts, doll it's like, yes, actually, you would not believe the things I've seen pulled out of people's butts, doll heads, batteries, pens, flashlights, dildos, Captain Brandy, just everything. Crucifix is, no, actually not that yet. Darn.

What's your job was more Christian? So, cam's like, what do they tell you? Like, why do they put those things up their butt? She's like, they all say that their girlfriend made them do it. She says, once a guy was like, can I get my doldobach? And we were like, no. And he got super pissed. And I just had to be like, thanks for coming, sir.

Have a nice day. If you ever want to put anything up your butt, just make sure it has a string. Stephanie's like, guys, if you do that, I will not judge you. So food arrives, some Texans arrive. Tiffany loves lamb chops we learned. She loves lamb chops and mom a D's like oh be sure I eat the prunes that way won't be consumated later. I mean my daughter always looks like she's constipated But let me tell you something she is as regular as they come

Yeah, so Tiffany stands up and gives a speech She's really grateful for all the girls because she's never had a group of girl friends. And she's built up all these defense mechanisms, you know, to deal with the worst things in her job. And that serves her well at work. But in real life, it's not really serving me well. And like, I just really want to belong and fit in. And, and, Jen, guys, you're doing great. Babe, like, Jen, what do you talk? You're hardly even here. Why are you the one who gets to give the nod of approval on Tiffany? Like, you just got here.

You're doing great, babe. So everybody crew hugs Tiffany and tell her that she's great. And she is a cool girl. And Brandy's like, you are beautiful and strong. Loved you. And so Tiffany's like, you are beautiful and strong, loved you. And so Tiffany's like, we have been through so much in just a few weeks. Like, it really feels good to be a part of this messed up group.

And Mama D is like, all right, I want everyone to shut up. I'm gonna tell a story that's really inspirational. Okay. Now just remember one thing, Tiffany, you know me well. Okay, I grew up, caught it the same way you did, you know, except I was white and I was from here and I didn't get, you know me well, okay? I grew up, kind of the same way you did, you know? Except I was white and I was from here

and I didn't get, you know, me fun of and all that stuff. But I remember very vividly when I was a young girl, I said, when we couldn't even afford an air conditioner, okay, we had a window fan, you know what a window fan is? You all probably don't know what a window fan is. Well, I remember sitting on the curb, you guys know what a curb is? I was in a mud.

I have curb, you also have those. You know, I would sit on the curb and You guys know what a curb is? I was in a bunch. I have curb. You also have those. You know, I would sit on the curb. And I would say when I grow up, I'm gonna be rich. Do you know what that means? I can't say it's rich. You know what that rich means? No, anyone? Okay, just make sure we're on the same page.

Okay, I'm gonna be rich, okay. So I used to read about Glant Simmons in the paper. You know what a newspaper is? You guys know what a newspaper is? Anyone? Anyone? I read that I saw Glant Simmons and I know what I'm newspaper is? You guys know what a newspaper is? Anyone? Anyone? I read that. I saw Glenn Simmons and I said, I am gonna marry that man.

And people say, hey, can we do that? Hey, can we just marry that man? And I said, I'm gonna study what he does. I'm gonna study where he goes. And I'm gonna get dressed up and look real good. And I'm gonna go there. And I'm gonna seal that deal. And that's exactly what I did.

And then you're waiting for her to say, and in the process I fell in love, but she's like, and the end. I'm can't remember who tells us. So you were a gold digger that stalked her husband in hopes he would marry you. I don't really know if that's the best lesson to be telling other young ladies.

I thought it was great because you know what? What do we do? We sit here and we just listen to story after story that all these guys tell. I saw her and I knew the moment I saw her, I wanted her to be my wife. So I showed up outside our office every single day with some flowers and finally, she said,

yes, I'll go on a date with you and here we are. Like we heard all that and we're always like, oh, that is so sweet, look how persistent he was. But then when she's doing it, she's like, I showed up, I was just like, keep not showed up. It's like, oh, girl, digger, you fucking fool. I say, power to mom and teen.

Yeah, yeah. And I like that she's just so unapologetic about my goals to be find a rich man and I did Well, I also like how she compares herself to Tiffany like you think She's gonna say, ah, you know, I was raised just like you. I was poor and just like you I worked hard. I took myself through school and I did I rose the top of my class But no, her story is like I was born to And then I found a rich man As you go so girls you need to set your dreams and your goals wherever you want to be because you You're a doctor. So you know what just trying you know, just try it and then try and marry rich

You know, you could do it. You're a doctor. If you want and marry rich. You know you could do it You're a doctor if you want to marry rich you could do that Tiffany. She's like, um, I did do that Like do you have an air conditioner? Do you have an air conditioner window fans window fans are good? Don't worry you're waiting you're on and then Carrie does the thing that we know girl Carrie starts doing the thing That drove us nuts, which is that she does the shot shot shot shots thing wrong. She's like, shot shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots Alamefayl sitting at home like good. And remember we are sisters. We were sisters the other night. So Jen goes, that party the other night was so perfect.

And I loved it. It's like quiet, quiet Jen. Be quiet. Dendrakas, oh really? Cause mother said it's demonic. And Brednikas, oh really? Tell me about that, mom and D. And she goes, it's demonic.

There, that's what I, what she said I said. And this what I said. There was a single man you could marry upwards with, demonic. So then Brandy turns to Dandra and she's like, I believe when you meditate, it should be through the word of God. And I don't think that that's the word of God. You know what the word of God is, Dandra?

And you know now in the world with everything that's going on, COVID, illness, people getting stoned in the streets for horrible things that they never even said on purpose. Mike, you need to be not God in the word of God and not that outside noise. Um, who created the shaman anyway, by the way, I mean, Riley is not God. So then Deandra is like, she's like, well, you know, she sees ghosts, she consults mediums. And yet, my shaman was the one who, who threw like a who, who like who took you through a few meditation exercises and that's not okay,

because that's not Christian, you know, no, she says, well, I would never go anything against what I believe in my Christian faith, Brandy, and you know that. Exactly. But as your sister in Christ, I should say something to you because like anybody who trying to find answers and anything else other than the word of God, oh really, were you at church when you just went to racist rehab because I don't think that that was a church that you were at, Brandy.

Really? Yeah, exactly. So, Dandra's like, are you fucking getting me right now? And then Brandy is like, you're a Christian and you're brought up that way. What a Christian walk away from Jesus and try other things like, wow, wow. She sucks. She sucks so hard. I hate her. Yeah. And Dandra's like, yes, because guess what? I'm the most educated Christian you're gonna find all right. I know what islam says I know what Hindu says. I know what Sikhism says. I'll try to bunch of things. I went back to Christianity

So don't get me my Expression feels around the roof twice and I still went back to Christian. I was like wait a second What about Judaism Deandra? What about my people? I was like wait a second, what about Judaism, Deandra? What about my people? Do you have to do like everyone? I was like excuse me, excuse me. You guys are more exclusive. That made me judge.

You guys are fancier. So, Deandra's like, well, we all know the bottle says judge, not let you be judged.. And Jesus would not judge me the way it's brandy, brandy's judge me. And brandy is not Jesus, I'm sorry. Hello, hello, hello. And brandy's like, there are scriptures in the Bible that deliver to us that there will be people who perform false prophecies and that demons can come in. The demons can do whatever he wants. So, Dan just like, you know, like she's judging, like you're judging me. And so, and so,

Mama D is like, girls, girls, girls. It's all over with, okay. This is the first day of the rest of your life. As far as I'm concerned, my daughter's a lost cause, she's going to hell. That was the side of 20 years ago, okay. So, let's not argue about it now I just want to say today is the first day of the rest of your life and I'm saying that because yes I did almost Mary Dale Carnegie but it did not have as much money as my second husband okay so you know what call that a goal that I turned down that was a goal I turned down you know I once tried to get into the pants of Mr. Rockefeller because I I tell you, he was a rock and feller. But you know what? Turns out Simons was more of my style.

Okay, that's what you gotta learn about that. I'll tell you who the real demon is here. Poor people, okay? Jack, why don't you marry them? So, Dan was like, well, I am pissed, but today is Tiffany's birthday. So now would be the perfect time to use my tools. And I don't do that now.

And I learned anything from Darren. I was like, did Darren talk somewhere about getting coked out of your brain as what are your tools? Because I'm pretty sure that's what happens. Deandra comes back, well, they're all wasted, but Dandra's eyes are like crossed, but also staring straight, if that makes any sense.

Like they're unfocused, but they're not like moving back and forth across. You know what I mean? She's just like staring straight ahead. So the cake comes or whatever, and then we get a nice big blow out with Spittle all over the cake during coronavirus. She just has to note that for you, my little fan.

Thank you. And then belly dancers arrive, and they've got like a giant python. And so they put the python on Tiffany and she's like she's like ballin she literally screams and falls over yes and the snake is terrifying everyone but oddly enough Cameron Cameron Westcott is like down with the snake and she's like oh little snake you're safe you're safe my love and it's not fair that you have to be a show snake.

These roles are crazy, but you can come to mommy and I'll take care of you forever. You don't have to be a stripper snake, okay? You can be, you can marry Glenn Simmons to little snake. Oh my god. Also, I, Brandy's like sitting there cuddling a snake to guess who the main villain in the Bible is It's a fucking snake Like you need to get your story straight and stick to it Brandy. Yeah fake. Yeah season one of the Bible that snake was That was a that big villain in season one. Yeah, you're gonna get mad at the shaman, but let the snake go You're gonna cuddle the fucking snake get it together Brandy. Okay. Yeah, so Cameron gonna get mad at the shaman, but let the snake go. You're gonna cuddle the fucking snake. Get it together, Brandy. Okay. Yeah. So Cameron's like, you're not a show snake. You're a beautiful, super model snake. Each one of these snakes has

something the other snake needs. I'm sorry. You're not going forward on America's top snake. I fooled both for her. You know know she has to perform and she has to doubts for people like I think she probably wants to go home with me Watch TV like if I have to turn myself in and be honest I Do have one Python back I'm gonna say it's fancy better sleep with one I open okay Fancy better be careful with who's coming back home to this house tonight. So so now Tiffany's just like wasted and Brandy is like falling off a swing and Deandra's draped in the pipe. They're just like so wasted now and Dee is just sitting in her chair

and she's they have this amazing shot of Dandra with a snake just wasted like she just looks like a mess and then behind her kind of fuzzed out Mama D sitting on a chair so she's higher up and she's just looking at her like She's like So the Brandy sits by herself and falls off the swing which is crazily wacky and then Tiffany is Yeah, like you said, oh, then they start doing this like crazy dandruff condo. Yeah, which is funny.

And they like turn the footage into like rated like 1970s porno footage, you know? And again, it's just more of mama to be just watching and just being just livid. And she's like, all these girls are like a bunch of nuts. Every single one of them. That was great scrouse. Okay. Alright. Alright. Dandra, you've had all the shots that you need. Okay. She's like, I haven't gone, mother. You are Simmons. You are Simmons. Or I guess cares. You're Simmons. Stop that. Yeah. Dandra, Dandra, Dandra,

Seamons. You are a Seamons. So Jen says, so Tandra, if Glenn Simmons was your stepfather, then how come your name is Simmons? Wouldn't it be the name before that? And she's like, Mama, why don't you tell them why? Why my last name is Simmons? And Degas, because you say Simmons can take me lots further than Callaway. And then your head spun around three times and you spit up pea soup. It was disgusting. My daughter going to hell. Demons.

It's not true. I would never say something like that. Just, well, you're gonna ask me, I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna tell the truth. Okay, you wanna know something? You ask Mama D. Mama T will tell you the truth. Are you fucking kidding me, mother? Are you kidding me, mother? No, kidding me mother? No, you're crazy

You're crazy be quiet d'Andra You are and I would appreciate it if you stopped talking like that to me Just what the fuck is wrong? It's your mother. I'm gonna tell you exactly what happened. I will leave my hands on a Bible Brandy you got one in your purse bring it up here Now make sure keep it a safe distance from DeAndra. We don't want to catch it on fire, okay? Dandra, go say it's bullshit.

Just you are full of bullshit. Just you are self-full of shit. Well, I'll tell you what your father told me, Dandra. She just, I was there everything that you wanted me to do, mother, everything. Yeah, she was. What is wrong with you? Jesus Christ, are you fucking kidding me? She's always been everything that you want to be the new mother Yeah, she's what is wrong with you Jesus Christ are you fucking kidding me? I'm I'm gonna go to hell okay, and I'm gonna lose my inheritance which which I don't even give a fuck about anymore So go fuck yourself and take your fucking mask with it. You fucking bitch. My mother's a fucking bitch Wow, she's just losing it

Fuck you fucking bitch Mother is a bitch Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Like a typical demon. And the ender's like, I'm fucking going, fuck all you people, fuck everyone and fuck you mom. When I changed my name from Calloway to Simons, it's because my stepfather had taken care of me. And my mother's like, oh you changed her name because you thought it'd be better for you financially. It's because she's loves you. Shake mama D, come on, on come back come on mama D She's like oh, it's fine honey. She's just drunk And Brandy's like no one thinks no one thinks that Dandra no one thinks that you change your name to get named to get ahead financially Because we all see you never really got that much money out of it. We all know it was a movement for love

Yes, they do. Everyone thinks that. And her eyes are just so unfocused and she's losing it. And Cameron tells us, in dollars, the name Simmons is very recognizable. It's on billboards. It's on bull statues in front of banks. It's on mattresses, cards, water fountains,

snake strip shows. Yeah, it's everywhere. There've been rumors. There've been rumors that Dundra changed her name to Simmons to benefit herself to have more doors open for her to have more opportunities. But guess what, girl, Dallas has a lot of automatic doors. Didn't have to change the name. So Dee is talking to Stephanie. You know, Stephanie's come up to kind of be nice to Dee. And she says, Mama Dee tells it like it is. And she changed it to Simmons

because it'll take her farther in that. That's the truth, all right? That is the damn truth. And then Mama Dee tells us, she's like, either she forgot it or she doesn't matter. Or she doesn't want people to think bad about her. Whatever she believes happened, that's okay with me. I remember vividly. I remember vividly is a curb.

All right. I was sitting there with a wall, wall fan window fan on the curb and I said, look at what my daughter is doing now. of her now. And so, Carrie's like, what is happening? And Tiffany's like, I don't know. I was having a good time and she's like falling over drunk too, you know. And Daddra's just screaming, I did nothing wrong. Lord, help me. Lord, help me. And Daddra goes to the swing with the other girl.

She like, I didn't do nothing. And then falls off backwards onto the ground and you hear a crack. Yeah. And that's the end. Wow. This episode was amazing. Like religion. My daughter issues.

They got me in rage. It was so. You know, I love to feel rage. Oh, it's like an internal massage. You know, I just felt so good raging about it. And then yeah, the mother daughter screen fighting fuck yous. Oh my God. And this mom of these origin story was beautiful.

What? And we got everything. People, you know what, Dallas, Dallas is just so good. I feel like it is the, it is the on, it's like the, uh, unsung, I don't wanna say unsung hero, but it's sort of like a sleeper, a sleeper show on Ombravo because it is just so good. Yeah, I read a lot of, I read comments, you know, or I hear Sashaw Medea talking and she's like, it's so boring. What the hell are we thinking, is it because I'm from Texas, so I kind of get that like mother-daughter?

What comes from New York? Hello. Yeah, I just think it's hilarious. I think it's really good. I mean, this episode was iconic. You know, I hate everything being called iconic, but I'm going to have to pass that. You know what?

I'm finished, so. Before we started rolling with Onwater Happens Live, we were the guests. We were all sort of chitchatting. And Ira said something that was like really true. He said, more than any other cast, he says, this right now, it seems like this cast is just like only hanging out with itself,

which I think is kind of true. And I think that's good. I think that we're getting some really hilarious stuff because of that. So. Yeah. I love it. Really, really, really fun episode.

Thanks, Dow. Yeah, thank you, Dow. You can put up, y'all. We'll be back next week with more Dallas. And then tomorrow, it's gonna be Jersey, which, I mean, who not? I don't even know what's gonna happen every episode. I was like, what is gonna happen on Jersey? Can't wait for that.

Thank you, everyone, for listening. Thank you for being a friend, traveling on the road and back again. You're hurt. Yeah, it's true. All right. Take that. And the again. Um, your heart is true. Alright, take that back. Mother, go ahead, have a- So I love you guys. Have a great night.

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