Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Jesus Christ Superspar

Episode Date: March 25, 2021

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo) Tiffany hosts a "luxe luau" on this week's Real Housewives of Dallas, which sets the stage for D'Andra and Brandi to fight about who's a better Christian. This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the Real Housewives of New York Trailer, which is also a Crappens on Demand video. Find it and all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We designed lots of face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one.

I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. I'm not a fan of this one. Hello and welcome to...

Hello. Hello. Hello, welcome to my turn. Welcome to what's up? Crappings and podcasts for all that crap we just love to talk about. I'm Yo Bronsky. I'm Ronnie and that's the band over there. Hi, Ben. Hi, what's up? Oh, then today is the day that I'm in love with because Real Housewives of New York is coming back and we're going to be covering a we're going to be doing a shot by shot breakdown of that trailer in our bonus episode that we're recording right after this, which is why we're wearing what's the matter? What's going on? What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? We are actually twins. We're actually American twins right now because we are right by Blue Baby. That's right.

I'm wearing the blue shirt. You're wearing the red shirt. What's the matter? What's happening? What's going on? Yeah, so we're doing that if you want those bonus episodes that will be a video because it's more fun to make fun of the pictures and stuff So if you want videos, this is on video today Look at that look at my face. It's me. Can't you can find that at patreon.com slash watch what crap? And what's been going on in your real life been away from this crazy? What's been going on in your real life ban away from this crazy What's been going on in the real life? I don't even know what I've done in the past two days I I planted an herb garden upstairs So yeah

The spirit the spirit of spring is alive and well no I I haven't done an herb garden in a while, so I decided it's 2021. Why not kill some innocent plants, right? So we got that going on, and I also got some flowers back here. You see the little flower, you see that, bloop bloop bloop, you see that?

Right there? I'm a little higher up in my older. I'm sure, do you, just in case you have to cover up Taylor Swift's face again, you can just kind of lip-p that. Where'd you get the flowers? That's that's exactly right. Actually, he didn't buy me the flowers He just he bought the he actually bought the flowers and then I brought them into here because When we were on watch what happens live last week. Yeah, I know I'm like making this story go from being like

Possibly interesting to like increasingly just depressing now just depressing just depressing. I just I just got flowers flowers on the street and later on the kitchen counter and then I put them in my office to feel more loved. Yeah, I have done that before. No, but when we were on watcher happens live last week. So there's this poster of Taylor Swift back there. And some people may be wondering, why does Ben have a poster of Taylor Swift behind him?

And it's because Dom actually back, like 10 years ago, was dancing for her. And so there's this whole poster, that's the tour poster, and she's science, this whole thing. So the thing is this one, we went on, I'm just like, I'm went on. I'm just like, I'm just like, that's four brags, okay?

Because you got the, we were on what happens live. You got that in there again. So there's a brag, right? Well, I'm coming back to that one. Yeah, man. You got the my boyfriend works with Taylor Swift brag, so that's like now six brag, brags, okay?

It's a lot of brags. It's a lot of, well, no, actually, but here's the thing. So when we were on whater Happens Live last week, I couldn't have Taylor Swift in the background because you know, it's not approved artwork for broadcast or something. And so they were like,

God forbid they fuzz out Taylor Swift's face, like so many have, recently. Yeah, so basically, they were like, do you have a plant that you can put in front of her? And I was like, I don't. And so then the very next, so then what happened was I had to like rotate like, what is this, the Grammys?

So I had to like rotate my laptop and everything. And I was like all in the corner, standing directly next to my IKEA lamp, but the lighting was just all off. So I was like, you know what, I'm going to have, I'm gonna have at least, very least the Vaz back there. So when, if we ever go back on, I'm gonna stack up a bunch of board games

and put a Vaz on top and I'm sure Taylor Swift. And that's the story of those flowers. That's their next story. Yeah. Oh, well I have a, I'm a Vaz's in Crappens Blue. The Vaz's in Crappens Blue. I have a Bra have a BOSS is in crap and blue the bosses and crap and blue I Have a brag brag you want to hear I mean uh, yeah, I have a brag brag It's not I have this remote control because I have a fan that's on a remote control

Okay, that's my big brag and my neighbors. I live in like a condo unit or whatever so my neighbors Have the exact same fan and the same remote and their son, his bedroom is my office, you know, like it's the same bedroom in our homes, and we have remote control fights because this little fucker, I'm getting hot, I turn on the fan, he turns it off. So then I turn it on, then he turns it off

and we sit there clicking at each other for hours and I'm like, do you think I'm gonna kick your son's ass? He's 10, I can take him. do you think I'm gonna kick your son's ass? He's 10. I can take him. I'll beat the shit out of your son if he turns my fan off one more time, okay? And then his dad told me, well, why don't you just use the light switch, turn it off?

I don't know, he came up with some cock-a-me-me thing to beat it. And I was like, why don't you tell your fucking son to do that? So now I'm like having like a click war with the 10 year old next door. So that's where I stand. Oh my God.

I'm on team Ronnie. Okay, you know what? You're the adult here. You get fan privileges. Okay. Oh, yes. I'm not my version of the fan's part. I think no matter what you agree with with me, little 10 year old next door, you do not

talk to an elderly person like that. I'm not. You did not talk to an elderly person like that. You do not, you do not talk to an elderly person. No, but like, why is also the fan manufacturer designing fans that can be like easy access with the news remotes? You know, like what if you had two fans of the same manufacturer in the same household?

What then, what then? You're screwed, okay? So let's try to get another little remote control thing at lows and then I couldn't put that in because it didn't have the right, you know what, I'm not enough, enough. Now I'm mad that I even brought it up, okay? Thanks a lot Taylor Swift.

Thanks a lot Taylor Swift and Flowers kind of from Dom. This is what you like to do. You think? Know that the flower is still not tall enough to fully obscure her. I really am gonna have to like, hopefully. There's no scurrying Taylor, okay. I know she didn't become a star because she's going to just be covered by some fucking flowers. No, she did not. She definitely did not. She has a tremendous look. It actually looks like she's denying the flowers actually where they're

sat up. She looks like she's facing away from them and I'm like, I don't need your fucking flowers. I'm tell her Swift, you think I don't get enough flowers? Yeah, she's singing a song about them, and then it's gonna deny them, the song's even about them, but they are about them. It is about them. We know it, we know it. Well, can you guys tell that not much happened on Dallas today? Okay, so here we are with the real housewives of Dallas.

Now, I'm just realizing this, but Brandy's, I don't think Brandy's opening line is correct, and I don't know why it took me so long to notice this, but a sinner is a saint who just keeps on trying is that backwards on purpose because I think it's supposed to be a saint is a sinner who just keeps on trying right? No, I think the whole thing is that a sinner is just like trying to be good, but just Falls short every time so a sinner is a sinner is a saying who just keeps on trying Also known as just a sinner. How about that a sinner's a sinner or just a sinner. Yeah, just a sinner Yeah, so do saints not sin. I guess that's the point you're saying so you don't sin right what about saint ives

I mean that shit will touch you all over the all over yourself in a What what about sanger man? What about that look her? Yeah, I've kind of feel like if you're a saint, you just don't. Saint keeps on trying. I don't know, we don't need to dwell on it. So, I do. Baron and Lairn. Right, right.

Because it's Texas, so we've got the Texas guitar, and Carrie is going over to Tiffany's house, and it sounds like a bus about to hit a child. You just hear. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Just carry things out the door. Just get off the door. Yeah. So Tiffany is like, she's like, well, I know you said that you like spicy things, so I made you a basket of hot sauce. Cause one thing I noticed this episode,

it's been there all along, is that Tiffany will often just break into like a deep gutter-o-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l- and workshopping it, but I just I'm gonna keep in mind that she does have a laugh. And I think she also takes on a little piece of her friends' personalities, which I guess is normal. I think we all probably do that, but she's taking on a little bit of Kerry's personality because she says about 30 times in this episode that she bought Kerry a gift of hot sauce to say thank you.

You know, she has to remind, which is very Kerry to do. Oh, you know what I'd like to give a cheers to this party because it reminds me of the party that I gave you last time. I'm like, oh yeah, and this reminds me of the hot sauce that I gave you to say thank you for having that party for me. I know, there was a lot of like hot sauce update. I was like, girl, it's a bottle of sriracha. So which, by the way, I would never turn my nose up at.

I love sriracha. For all you people who are getting offended at my dismissal of a Sriracha bottle. So meanwhile, Stephanie is taking Brandy. She's gonna bring... Stephanie's been doing this thing with a locker room makeover because you know, Jocs just don't get enough. And so they're just doing a lot of... Isn't it enough you get to see penis is every day?

What the hell else do you mean? You're lying. No, but it's nice. I mean, look, they're locker room company. So this is, you know, so she's going to take Randy to go see this locker room rebuild, the big reveal. And so Stephanie has, she's sort of like dressed like a flight attendant in morning.

She's just like, not what I would expect someone to dress for for like the grand, you know, reveal of the place that we'll soon. I know, she's like Jackie O. Yeah, she's like gonna go, she's like, I'm gonna go donate some really fancy lockers and I'm gonna dress like kind of Jackie O and wear a broken bag or whatever, while I walk to the school. I know, it was just such a formal look,

I mean, it actually was beautiful, but it was so formal, it was like not what I was through the sky. I know, it was just such a formal look. I mean, it actually was beautiful, but it was so formal. It was like not what I was expecting at all. And she just like, first lady of lockers was arriving in Beaumont, you know? And I don't know. FaceTime is a good invention, I guess. I don't use it.

I don't approve of it, but I can see how it's a cool invention and stuff. But Brandi is one of those people that just makes you wonder why it even exists, because Stephanie's like, oh my God, I'm so excited for you to come with me to check out Lockers. And Brandi's like, yeah, I mean, just your face. So sorry, I'm just like, just her sad, confused face.

She's like, it's gonna be so fun. Well, you know what they say about FaceTime. It's just Scott that keeps on trying. So over at Cam's house, um, one of her kids is getting a haircut. She's like, I told your daddy to get your haircut before he left town and he didn't. So guess what that means? We're going through all of his things and finding out if he's ever gonna buy a house. I'm not putting up a this. Yeah, mommy's in charge now.

So then we go over to Deandra's house, where I'm sorry Deandra goes over to Tiffany's house and like Tiffany's two little girls open up the door and Deandra just, she shows off that motherly instinct that we always knew she had. Who Maddie, right? You're Maddie. Which one of you?

Are you Maddie? Are you a man? Are you a mother? Who's the mother? Who's the daughter? Which one of you? This is like the most awkward show on TV. I sort of got every week on this show.

I'm like, oh my god. At least, at least it one thing. This was it it today so the girls are jumping all over the couches and then again she's like so your Maddie right mother? Oh no damn it! How many of these little girls are there in this house? The five six? Are they all named Maddie? Is that just me? Could you just at least put a wig on one of these girls?

Okay I can't with this. Yeah. So, Carrie's like, Oh, girls, who do you think is more fun? Me or the Andra? And they just point at her, you know, probably because they're terrified. And the Andras all mad that they picked her. She's like,

Tiffany's twins are supposed to be two baby geniuses. You might need to have them retested I am clearly the most fun one here mother so Tiffany's like Well, I thought that Carrie was through me such a bum birthday party So I went and I got her a basket of hot sauce. That's right. Hot sauce everyone to basketball and That's awesome. That's right. That's awesome, everyone.

Tobasco and Serencia and Tapatio have you ever seen such a thing before? I got her to hot sauce. Got her hot sauce. So this week I'm gonna invite you to my husband's hotel in Frisco for a little thing because we got married in Hawaii and it was really romantic, but then COVID ruined that.

So I guess we're just gonna go to our own hotel that we own, that I'm not sure we have a hotel. Oh, you shouldn't invite that thing I got you. Upass, good on hot sauce. And I got from Carrie for saying thank you. Yeah, actually, what's really cool about the hotel is it's actually shaped like a bottle of sriracha. It's actually a hotel.

It's just a large bottle of hot sauce actually. We're just gonna see how more hot sauce. So they start talking about the party and they asked Yadro what was going on and Tandra's like, well, my mother has been worried about me working with Darren on meditation because of Satan and all. And then Brady started in on me and I was just in shock

because like it made me feel like she was questioning my Christianity, okay? And let's think back to a year ago, we went to a haunted house and Brady was talking to spirits. It's not a competition, guys. Jesus loves murderers on death row. Okay? Yeah.

Yeah. He can stand a couple of housewives probably about the same about it, imagine. Yeah, I think that's a fair point. So Deandra, she Deandra's just very triggered about this. Probably because her mom has harped on her for her whole life, or not being a good enough Christian, you know, like, probably everything that Deandra does. Like, oh well Deandra, you just had to get some coffee ochre today.

Well, that's not for a Christian of you if you know what I'm saying. What do you say, mother? I'm just saying you're just going to hell because you got coffee ochre. Mother! Of course she were last in the confirmation line. Doh! Of course she was last in the confirmation line So yeah, so so Deandra's whole thing is that you know Brandy's been through hell this past year And so she's she's like well everyone on the planet has judged her in one way or another and so like of all people to judge me You wouldn't think it'd be her because everyone changed her, you know

I mean everyone judge her because she's you know because you the racist thing I should I bring that one up again just to get a little bit more leverage here and there's that anyone anyone Oh And she's like well, I'm not doing is not evil or anti-Christian Tiffany's like oh my god Deandra you are one of the most Christian people I know which has to be like One of the weirdest compliments. Yeah Like one of the weirdest compliments. Yeah. Wow.

You are the most Christian person. I know. Okay. Wow. Good job. I mean, you were part of the Texas women for Trump Coalition. So, I mean, beat that brandy. Okay.

You literally, you literally protested outside of a Starbucks for three years after they introduced the Red Cup. That's really Christian. So all that in and out, I mean, you really, really support prayers on cups. I've never met someone who loves prayers on cups for the view. Your dedication to putting fish on the back of your car. I mean, you actually put a real life salmon back there. I was like, really impressed. I was like really impressed.

I was so sad when it fell off and went through someone's windshield. They could have died. Still, you prayed for them. It shows me what a good Christian. So what happened? What happened with your mother and Dan just like, okay, well, here's what happened. When I changed my name, lots of people in Dallas said nasty things like I changed my name for opportunistic reasons, okay? Like, you know, I just can't live another day without being named after a beauty rest. But let me tell you this, my mother told Jen that and that is not the truth. The reason I changed my name when I was 18 was because Glenn was one who took care of me. He was the parent and it was to honor him and I took away my middle name

Which is horrible so you know I had to do that my middle name is D Which is just you know, I mean that's the worst the worst I don't even want to say well my middle name. It's probably the worst name you ever heard I don't know if you ever heard this name before but I think we can all agree whenever you hear this specific word We all hate it and it brings up terrible ideas. The word is it's D. I'm 90. D, then D Simmons, Dan, D Callaway.

I love that. The Andra was basically named after her mother twice, right? Because I just always assumed that the D Andra was a tribute to D. So the fact that it's D Andra, but then also D again, afterwards, really just drive at home. And then she was named after again, when she changed her name to Simmons, which you know, look, first of all, why is it okay for Mama D to go off and fuck some guy because of his last name, but then it's not okay for her

daughter to want the same last name. Like you admitted that you chased this guy around to use him for his money. You wanted like the richest, baddest guy in town. And you brag about it. So why shouldn't she like the richest baddest guy in town, and you brag about it. So why shouldn't she want the richest baddest ass, you know, father? I don't blame her on changing my name. I'm gonna change my name.

Karim has done fucking nothing for me. Gonna name it to like, Dean, like, I'm gonna say I'm part of the Jimmy Dean sausage air or family or dynasty. I'm Ben Rockefeller See already a lot of Steve a lot of This podcast already just went up two spots on on app on the charts So dandra is telling them that they she's always fought with her mother and then we see clips of them over the years

I'm like I do not give a dog rip what you say dang it you can go say your most razz around the street that's how much rip I get yeah, and She just dandra feels like they've you know they were fighting for so long and now they've really gone back in time again and You know after all this progress that they've made which is what you were basically just saying and Tiffany's like So when I hear from you is that she's antagonizing you, but when I see you guys hanging out I don't really see that mainly because it's hard to see around a giant basket of hats us. I got hot sauce I don't see it either either you know I'm so jealous of you because you have a mom You know you do Sunday brunch because for me, you know, it's very hard for me because I don't have a good relationship with my mother.

You know, my mother, I have kids and they're old enough to have their own problems, which is difficult as people have young kids, and definitely more difficult than people with no kids at all, and the mother. Did I mention that my mother was in alcoholic yet? Have I mentioned that at all? No, she's not calling so Tiffany is like, you know, my mom like never calls me to see how I'm doing, you know, she only calls when she needs something like what's the perfect score on an SAT and I'd be like 1600 and then she said why do you get 50 and 50 and then she throws a shoe through the phone. I don't even know how she does that, but she does it every single time. She vents face and time. So it's private plane time, which means must be time to help some poor people. Okay. Whenever I see a private jet, I'm like, hmm, it's almost about to get fed.

Private planes, the sign of charity. So, um, yeah, so they're, uh, it's time to head to this, this lock remake over Stephanie is there. Like she's attending a funeral for a head of state and, um, and, yeah, they get there, they get to this place and we see like lots of footage of, like, the bad locker room before. And, uh, it's a, yeah, I mean, that's a damaged locker room. But we also see, we also see that they must have had to send some video to compete for

the new locker room, right? It was probably like, she put it on social and like, send me a video of how bad your locker room is and then so people sent different videos. And this one's like a wacky one. Like the locker door is falling off the hands. And it just shows the kid like, I'm trying to close it. I'm trying to close it. I just can't close it.

And then the coach is like, that's why we need lockers. And I was like, wow, congrats on being not only the most, you know, tread upon by life, but also the cutest and quirkyest. You win. You win.

You're reminding me. We're gonna start having competitions now for charity because I'm totally into that. Like a soup kitchen talent show. You only eat if your video was quirky about. The quirky, the quirky of the video, the more funds you get. It reminds me, it did remind me, did have an informational vibe.

I always think of this one, informational, that was, it's like basically like a masking tape dispenser. Like it's something that you think you could put on your finger and you can just sort of like, you can pull things off of it very easily, something like that. And it was like, do you have trouble with masking tape? And you see a woman trying to like, put wrapping paper

on something, and she has tape all over her hands and like, on her hands. She's like, crumbling out of her nose. She's like, what? I'm like, I might know. This lady's an idiot. I'm sorry. This is, most people do not have this trouble with basing jay. Like, she's just an idiot.

It is just like that. And the kid trying to close the door. He's like, I just can't close the door. He's like slamming it. It's like, well, I think this kid broke all the lockers. Because look how he's treating a locker door. Man, I feel bad for the families of those people who are examples of having trouble on

Infomercials like those people just can't do they just can't do anything like having troubles sitting down in your chair They're like oh, and they just like this on the floor or that one of those four actors You know, it's like they they go through the rest of their life and that's what they're known for like hey guys This is my friend Ben. He was that guy on TV who couldn't figure out fucking masking tape. How does it work? Still do, no. Or that one thing, it's like, are you sick of lamp cords

and they show a lamp and then the cord is like strung up, like above, like five feet above the ground, like a closed line across the room and then someone walks by. Like, dude, dude, I don't notice this awkwardly shrung up cord at all. And they just like, trip and the lamp goes to the front and they're like, oh god, how do you walk? Do you have babies hanging themselves accidentally from your phone cords?

Just like little dead babies all of them. Like, no, it's a found cord. Okay. Do you have trouble stirring in your pan? And he's like a woman like beating a pan with like a spoon? Like that's not how you stir. Or like that guy cutting a coat can. What? Why? Why? What am I going to be that? That seems not wise. Like, oh, congratulations, you got a knife that's so sharp you can cut a coat can. Well, enjoy doing that completely incorrectly.

Sharpie can cut a coat can well enjoy doing that completely rink Rackley Well, we're getting Diet Coke all over the camera. You know what call that lady with the tape. Oh damn it the kitchen is ruined Hey, all I've won't come to the table. It's time to serve Thanksgiving dinner. Okay dad just gonna carve the coat can real quick So they get to the school and Travis is like doing his Fred Flintstone fist bumps with everybody, which, you know, I mean, I think that that's not touching. But then Stephanie's like, you know what, this is going to be like a bigger event, which is kind of why I'm dressed like Jackie Ode of funeral, but, you know, COVID serves us certain things and we just have to take it. So here we are. We, it's just a camera crew and Fred Lomstone, but we're here.

Let's go look at lockers. And the coach is like, I think nervous to be on camera or something because he keeps repeating himself. He goes, oh, how are you all doing? How are you all doing? We got all the kids here. We got the kids here. Yeah, they're excited.

We got the kids here. We got the kids here. We got the kids here. I'm like someone please tell the coach patterns into like zip it. Like tell them to calm down So we see a before and after of the lockers and I have to say I mean okay, but

Like feed some people. I don't know even like it doesn't even have to be that creative Maybe pass out cock to the people of the city that's been flooded like do something about lockers You got to lockers this whole city has been drowned two times But the lockers have under lighting the lockers have under lighting integrated lighting Hey, you know, those are beautiful lockers. I'm not gonna lie. I was I was like I want to I want to have a locker room Well, they better be there like a million fucking dollars. Okay, they better be better be I Thought it was amusing. Look, I mean, I'm not gonna, here's the thing. She's, you know what, her husband owns

this huge locker company. This is the resource that she has that she knows she can help with, so she did what she, she was like, our thing is lockers. Let's do what we can do with lockers, which I think is great. But it is one of those things where it's like, oh cool. So the team has good lockers, great. Okay. Yeah, they have really nice lockers.

The library is still completely empty. The library is like cartoon spiders dangling like the haunted mansion. Yeah, I get it. Charity's charity, you know. And if charity comes with a nice hefty tax cut for a locker organization, then you know, so be it. Yeah, I mean, you know, yeah, I don't begrudge it. I just think it's, I don't begrudge it. I think it's actually really great what she did.

I just think it's funny because it's like, I'm also imagining people who don't play sports who are like, and what about us? Yeah, drama clubs fuck you know We're in year three of fundraising for Brigaduin and all we can afford is a scrim so Yeah, the poor into the woods cast is like you know having having the lower graders like pretend their trees with like paper bags on their head and shit. Meanwhile, the fucking jocks, you get everything in the world, you're like, Yeah bro, being done in the locker.

They're like, well, so since we haven't been able to afford, um, well, so since our orchestra pit is an actual pit these days, we've decided that we're just going to move the production into the locker room, because it's actually nicer than our entire auditorium right now. So this is where we're going to do it. I mean, I've been to Beaumont and that locker room is definitely the nicest place I've seen in Beaumont. You know, this is not even a fence to Beaumont.

It's just not fancy, you know, and those locker rooms are very fancy. So Brandi looks around and there's like even a disco light in the locker room and Brandi looks around and she goes, wow, this makes me want to go back to high school again. We know, Brandy! We fucked up. What part about five seasons of poop humor makes this thing that you don't want that? The only shock here is that Brandy did not show up on her Dallas cheerleaders thing again or her whatever she did. Her daughter wasn't Dallas cheerleaders thing again. I know.

Whatever she did. Well, daughter wasn't there, so there was no one to compete with. So, um, so anyway, the place looks crazy. Her daughter just like tumbles out of a locker. A cute mom! I feel like we're being so mean right now during this lovely charity scene. What else is there to do? Okay.

Not much. Not much. I got Taylor Swift behind me, like still like getting away from my flowers, like still winning. I've gotten mad at numbers full of lockers because they represent gyms. Okay. I'm, yeah, I'm just mad because in my high school,

like the Booster Club would like, they would just raise all this money to put bleachers in and yet like, you know, if you wanted to do it, we'd never get any thing. Yeah, we'd never get any, it's good luck, you know, if you want to do it, we never get any things. Yeah, we never get any things. Good luck, you know. Yeah, have fun with that. The only gym I support is my great, great grandfather.

Jimadine! Well, right? Jimadine's house is just. Don't you get it? The only gym I support are the ones that gay porn. So anyway. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting hosted by myself Megan Galey, Chris Garcia and Kurt Brown all are we will be your resident not so expert experts Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing nodding and thinking oh, yeah I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now Brandy, Brandy is like really proud of Stephanie and the coach is like really speechless

and everyone's just like happy. I mean, what to say, basically Travis and Stephanie wind up sitting next to each other and it's like the typical scene where she's like, you didn't think I'd be able to fall through and you dad meet and like honestly, that kind of hurt my feelings So you know, that's how I feel it. It's like oh well. Sorry about that little lady

You know, I think you did an A plus job, and I'm proud of you. So okay, so suit up and again to uniform and let's do this thing It's like we're not really in school again Travis So then we go to Tiffany's house and grandma's coming over and She's like guys you should show Grammy your caterpillar because when mommy was young She played with bugs too until grandma called them see students and crush them in her fingers And then mommy spent the rest of the week crying in her bedrooms sadly and alone Well, I thought I was playing with bugs, but a turnout there were just math problems that my mom gave me and she just called them caterpillars.

I have to say, though, I would say that Tiffany's mom, I am deeply disappointed. I wanted her to be a terror. I wanted her to be passive aggressive. I wanted her to be evil. I wanted to have, I wanted her to be basically like. I wanted her to be passive aggressive. I wanted her to be evil. I wanted her to be basically like a de-Simmons 2.0. And she was like nice and lovely. And I was like, you have gay people watching this. Like we've been looking forward to this.

An evil mother that we can call an icon. The mom really played this right. Yeah, the mom played this right. I think that she probably watches these shows and knew what trap has been set for her because she like mom I'd be probably called her right before like your daughter about you anywhere. Well, you better watch the heck. I Hell alright. This is what's gonna happen.

Yeah. I'm gonna give you a mock and impersonation. Because this mom showed up like in the Saints robe like she was just now she's like the best mom in all of Dallas, you know. Yeah. So her name is Grace. And so she shows up and she said that she, the mom basically called her up and was like, yeah, I want to come by and give you a gift for your birthday, which Tiffany has like shocked about because her mom doesn't generally express, you know, interest in things that make her happy or or or or perfect or like loving things, you know, so Tiffany's already like a little bit

on guard. Yeah, she says she only calls when she needs something. So the mom comes over and you know they sit down and If she gets a red envelope, you know, she's teaching the kids what that is and she's like you're not supposed to look at it And the presence of the person who gave it to you and killed a lot of bucks in your name when you were a child She's like what did I say? You know what I love they like would not let those kids open it because you know if we're brandy's house It'd be like I want to open it mother and they open it and brandy's like kids are just like so difficult But these girls are to open it and they're like no and then the dad like grabs the girls

I was like we're getting out of here. You are not allowed to hear that red envelope. What did I tell you? I was like yes So she tells her mom, um, you know Speaking of work Did I ever tell you that I was thinking of cutting my hours? And the mom just kind of looks at her, we can't tell what she's thinking yet. She goes, yeah, so I went last week and I talked to my boss and it turned out he was really supportive of me. And the mom's like, so when do you start?

You're going to go part-time next month and she's like, yeah. And then she goes through her thing about how being an immigrant child, you know, your parents look at you as being the greatest investments. But sometimes I feel like more of an investment than a daughter. And then it cuts to the mom like, I'm so happy for you for getting a day off. Now you can spend more time with your girls. This is great. This is more than what you might not be able to make by Porsche payments.

Who needs it? You're happy. Family is the most important thing, counter pillar. Now look, is that just like an absolutely beautiful, beautiful cardinal on that window sill, like the cameraman turns to the window sill? She just like throws, just throws a shoe at Tiffany. There.

Got it off camera. She's like, but mom aren't you mad? No, I'm so excited for you never work again. Who needs a job? Mom, are we still a mom are we still rolling are we still a rolling we are oh Tiffany? I am so proud of you Take all the days off you don't need to work at all. We're done. We're wrapped. Okay, let me just get my shoe right here. Stan still Tiffany Stan still Tiffany's like I'm shot. She's being the supporter. She's like 10 days off. Take away Turning into the Serena. Yeah. Yeah.

So then we go over to Tiamdra who's driving around in some crazy ass tick-tock sunglasses. I don't know where she got to use sunglasses, but they're like, this big. And she's talking to Jeremy about going to see mother. And he's like, this is you need to lick your wounds. And you know, the number one reason you're going is to apologize You push through and that is why I love you Jeremy shut up every week. Jeremy's saying that's the reason I love you and it's always something different Okay, you want her to make up because that's your damn paycheck. Just say it

Yeah, they got to save this inheritance, okay? So he's like no matter how much you bicker and fah, you love each other, okay? And that's one thing that I can always have trust in is your love. I trust nothing more than that. And we always have to save that trust, because that trust is the most important thing to us.

We can't live without that trust. And if that trust were to fall to someone else's hands, we'd be out on the street basically. That's why trust is so important. Now move over a little, you're sitting right on my growing moon. So what were the strippers' names when he was out looking at like the planet and the stars? We made them have strippers out there. Yeah, I was never mind if you got it. Like Mars and Mars of hands. Like we're out here looking at the moon and Luna. Okay, so D is also just gonna, you know, go through this being the best mother in the world too. So she's got her little dog on the floor and say, your sister,

Dandra, always like, like twirls the dog around like a spinning toy top. The dog has sunglasses on, too, by the way. The dog is wearing pink sunglasses. Yeah, and Mama D is like, your sister's running light, your sister, it's no accident that Mama D thinks of Deandra and a dog at the same tier, by the way. She definitely thinks of them as sisters, and she's not elevating the dog, okay?

So, she's like, so what are we, so what are we gonna do? I think that we, I think the one she gets, I think we should just let her have it. Okay, when she comes, don't you think we should just let her have it? And, like, you know, the mom idea is not joking. She is like, she's like, I was just talking to Grace and she said that she has a slipper method. You just throw it right at their faces. That's all you have to do. Get them on.

method, you just throw it right at their faces. That's all you have to do with getting them right. And we get some of my favorite shots of Dallas whenever they show shots of pictures and mama details. They're all like olin mill slash glamour shot and mom pictures of Deandra in different outfits or like Deandra and D and this one is dandro with like big 80s hair holding two little dogs. And you just know her mama standing right by the photographer on the Olin Glen going, Dandro, move the dogs a little closer together, little closer to get,

that's right in front of my face, mother. That's the point, you're here to hold the dogs. What the hell do you think this is? A free ride. Hold your sisters up, hold your sisters up. And so also that photo was placed in the most important part of the house right in between the security

panel and a broken thermostat. I was like, that's... Where should we put this lovely portrait of DeAndre? How about that? Did that old thermal that we don't use anymore? Let's put it right there, right next to that. And you think I'm joking, I'm not. If you pause and you look at it, you see a broken thermostat and a security panel.

So, you know, she's like, well, it needed a beautiful day. Yeah. Well, mother, I've come over and I want to tell you that I'm very sorry. My behavior was inappropriate. Please have the locks changed back on what is supposed to be my office now. Thank you. That'd be great. Yeah. She, well, do you answer it? Even if I wasn't your mother, you don't talk to an elderly person like that. Okay. And I understand that mother. And probably if, you know, if you hadn't been drinking so much and talking that devil talk with that gay meditation shaman, probably wouldn't be in this situation. That man puts the same and same on. Okay. so you wanted to do that.

You need to realize that you are wrong, Dandro. She's like, yes, mother. Well, but I don't understand is you know, I'm not an opportunistic person or a person that does things for a personal game, mother. So when you said that in front of a person, who doesn't really even know me, okay? The only thing we know about each other

is I sometimes like anal and she has a droopy, she has a droopy, you has a droopy, uh, you know, uh, rooster vagina. Okay, that's all I know about the woman and you are telling her, you turned your pack on me and you betrayed me. You stabbed me. You sliced me. You burnt me. You chopped me up into tiny little bits. Mother, you strangled and drowned me. Mother. She's like, I told you what it is. Mother, you don't realize you just said this woman you don't a what was that mother that a shovel oh shovel sorry it was supposed to be a slipper god it's hard getting used to this method

graces it okay if I use a shovel instead of a slipper And so she goes, listen, I'm just telling you what I knew, Dandruff. Now, do I think Simmons will carry you further? You're darn cute and I do, Dandruff. And then she tells us, I remember the phone call. She said, I'm changing my name because Simmons will take me first. Could it have been clearer than that? That's my question. I have no reason to make that up. And it did. How many girls do you know who can work at the White House?

Can you work for the president of SAX? Okay, Deandra's accomplished a lot because her name is Simmons. I mean, she hasn't done a lot, but she's gone into a lot of places if you know what I'm saying. She really hasn't done really anything. Just that name has taken her places. Do people just send your daughter free workout clothes from the 80s? Probably not. All right. Now if they think you know Richard Simmons,

they sure shit will. All right. She, as far as I can tell, she is the only woman I know who gets two Starbucks birthday rewards a year. Okay, that's because the Simmons name. She's like, well, this is also a real difficult time for me, mother, because my name, I'm trying to reach out to my brother. And when I change my name,

that calls a lot of friction in the family. It really did. And it was hilarious. It was hilarious, the intro. It was so good. Oh, I was so glad when you did that. Oh, we had so many laughs, just me and your sister, Maddie over there. She would just be barking. I'd be like when you did that. Oh, we had so many laughs. Just me and your sister Maddie over there She would just be barking on be like you say it again Maddie say it to God She got said I remember everyone got so mad they were still mad when I had your sister. That's why named her Maddie Okay, that mad they were Oh, God those are good times the andradee Calloway Simmons So dandar tells us that she was for when her mom and her father divorced God, those are good times. The Andrade, Callaway, Simmons. So, Danter tells us that she was for when her mom and her father divorced.

And her dad was absent a lot. And she's like, and I'm sure it was very hurtful that I changed my name, but I didn't feel like my dad made me a priority and blame did. Yeah. So, I was surprised. So, as she tells the story, I always thought her issues with her her stepbrother those were issues from the Simmons family But it sounds like those were issues actually from the OG It was the family right it was his second. It was his second I didn't realize that it's this is all a sorted thing, right?

So and so it makes sense and I'm surprised that she I'm wondering how much She must have been questioned in other words by the producers pretty intricately because I was very surprised She said it so clearly. She's like and now, you know, you've got Mean change in my name and then I'm trying to say that I was really close with my biological father to take his money from his second family. Well, not a quote, obviously, but she laid it out like that. Like, why would you try and fuck up my money, lady? Okay, I just said that the man is super important to me and won all that money. And now you're saying I took a name to take some other dad's money.

Yeah, because she's like, you know, like when my dad died, like, you know, since I since I had changed my name mother I guess they felt that they felt that they weren't out of the state and not me. I'm like well, yeah because you You were like this is the guy who actually is like my dad right now. I mean, I'm not gonna I'm not even gonna dive into all that because it's a tangled mess But like she makes it sound like they're crazy for thinking that and I'm like I can understand how it could send some mixed messages to some of your you know step-simple links there you know. Yeah hello yeah totally and so D's like well after the party I you know I think you're wrong

there are a lot of things but I do want us to have a relationship dandro you know I can be I can be okay with wrong things okay and in my heart I thought we went through, you know, I can be I can be okay with wrong things. Okay. And in my heart, I thought we went through it. You know, I let you have L 22. I let you have that sweet Fern lady. I mean, you're still watering her, aren't you? Dan, you know, this is just another hiccup in the road. I'm tired of hiccup, Dan, I told you ever since you started eating pizzas at a time. I said, I'm sick another hiccup in the road. I've tired of hiccup, standar. I told you ever since you started eating pizzas at a time I said I'm sick of hiccup stopping the pizza and you're still eating them, standar The adrenaline made it. Let me put it to you this way

There's a new spider in this house. I made a beautiful web over in the corner right around the corner Sort of like downstairs by the guest bedroom It's a perfect place for your photo and I want to do that I want to have your photo under the spider web. So let's fix this. Let's get back to where we were. Yeah, there's a, you know, out of commission toilet somewhere in the downstairs.

You can find that. We'll put your picture right back up there. Right, Andrew? We just got some of these wonderful toto toilets. Okay, so we had to put the old toilets out back. We think that'd be a great place for your portrait. I know, on the old toilets, you know? Yeah, and Dan just like, and we have a small family mother.

She goes, yeah, that's right. You don't have answer uncles, okay? And so they decide like they're all each other house and they're gonna make up, you know? And so Dan just like, you know, that's true love. And you're like, I literally have nothing else. So I guess I still love her. Oh, so so she goes, and mother, just note that, yeah, she's like, do you know that I love you?

I love you too. Dandro D. Call away. It was a safe drive home. I love you so much, D'Andra. And as a testament of that love, that's why I gave you my name. And shortly you still, oh, you got one of mine, you got one of, you erased me from your person.

Okay, all right, that's great. Huh, I'm just gonna go to bank after this, if you don't mind the entrance, I'm just gonna make some changes on that little dress. So then we go to Carrie, who is gonna go to the park with her kids to have a deep, deep discussion about the mother's macro holico case. So don't be mad at me. Basically, so she has to talk with her kids about how

I'm the first butterfly. It's her game. Remember when we would take road trips and whoever saw the first butterfly won. Like what kind of road trip for those were you on horses? Who's the butterfly on a road? It was who can find the first red car. I guess that's like I spy, but I've heard You know that she's like competitive with her kids. She's like, okay, I spy something

You already know what you're spying know what you're spying. So let's see here. So she basically gets together with them and she's like, oh, remember road trips? Like yes, mother, we remember road trips. Oh, we haven't had enough time to bond one on one. So that's why I've had two of my children here. I'm like, this is still my one-on-one. What on two? One on two, but I got enough personality for both of you.

I'm working up to it. Oh, let's apologize like it's 1999! Oh, well, anyway. Growing up, my mom was in alcoholic. I felt really abandoned and, you know, we didn't have a close relationship and we also never had Oh, that felt good. Okay, let's go look for butterflies So she talks about how she was very, you know The mom was very angry because of the divorce and she ended up putting Carrie in the middle of all of that and it made her realize

Going through all of this that she did that the same thing to her kids by being really angry and her divorce and putting all that anger towards the kids and Sophia who still kind of visually hates her mother is like you both did that. It's fine. It happens. Yeah, do we still need to keep talking about this? No, I'm not mad at you mother. I'm'm just, you know, I love living with you and your personality free new husband. It's just some thrilled. I'm so happy with my life right now, mother. I'm going to go look for butterflies. Yeah. So basically, she says, like, she's sorry, she doesn't communicate enough with them, and

she'll make sure to check in more in Sofia. It goes, and ask about us. She goes, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, come on, come on, that too. Yes, I'll do it. So it's actually kind of a sweet scene, which is very lovely. I don't really usually fall for carry scenes and I've had a couple weeks on a row where I'm like, wow, she's not so bad. How do I like that? There have been some nice carry scenes and her daughters are nice. Although I did think it was funny when Sophia kind of threw Olivia under the bus because so Sophia was like Well, you know, you know, you've got you know, you just get so used to the fact you know that all the attention that

LIVY You know, I just get used to that so she kind of was like throwing her sister under the bus a little bit Yeah, but it was still I agree it was nice and Kerry basically was it was actually a nice sentiment She was like, you know when my time is up here on this planet, I want them to feel like I did a good job. I was like, oh, don't, stop it, Carrie. Stop winning me over. That's not fair.

I know. Right. Yeah, I don't like the feeling. I've already been doing so much this year. Yeah, so Stephanie is with, well wait, let's see. Oh, so Tiffany is getting her party, her. Lex Luau. Tiffany's Lex Luau party together.

The moon family hotel, is that a hi-at? It was, right? It looked like it's a hi-at. It looked like they own a hi-at and a hi-at region. See or something like that? I don't know. Dane. Frisco.

Where is Frisco, Ronnie? Is that? I don't know. Dallas especially has a zillion little towns. It's like LA in a wave where you're like, where the fuck am? They're like well, you're in herbly, derbly like what? Ten minutes. I'm like ten minutes from where I just was and you're in a different town. Oh I meant to bring out my Bucky's guy. I was gonna put him also out there to help obscure Taylor Swift my little Bucky's Beaver, you know, remember we got that on our little over a course. I remember my

You know, remember we got that on our little. I remember my bucket. I'm never going to forget that. That was such a special time. It was that John. I was like, this is what chocolate covered sausages, whatever, all that shit they sell at bucky. It's like, we got marshmallow chocolate covered marshmallow popcorn covered marshmallow barbecue color.

Mark Wow. Marshmallow. Really? Yeah, it was like a super unending so much jerky. So much jerky. Yeah. So it's jerky barbecue. Ricky. Yeah, it was like a super unending so much jerky so much. Yeah, so it's jerky barbecue. Okay, so we're at Tiffany's. She's getting her makeup done and stuff for her big party and dander comes to the room. And they talk about the and dander's like, well, she has her own version of things.

And I, you know, just me reacting to things when they're not going to help and are going to end up with me just being poor. You know, I decided that was probably not the road I should take. Oh, what was that? Oh, my mother's here. Say hi, Grace. Where's your other shoe, Grace? Grace is just throwing the shoes at Dandras head because Deacon never get it right. She just has like one of those things that shoots t-shirts at basketball games, but just full

of slippers instead. So Stephanie is with Carrie and Brandy. They're driving to the party and Carrie's like, oh, to Tiki Love's use Pineapple. Yeah, she made it to Kila and Fuse Pineapple, which actually thought, yeah, I have to say this. I thought that was really cool. So I mean, I don't even like Pineapple, but I thought it was nice that she made it to Kila and Fuse Pineapple.

So I said enough nice things about Carrie. So happy. So angry. I'm so angry at myself that I'm giving her like pineapple credit. So, um, Brandy's like, I'm so excited that she wants to host us for a party. I just feel like she just really feels accepted right now. I'm like, well, it's amazing that she ever could after all this shit that you put her through Brandy for crying out loud. Yeah. So, she feels comfortable that's so good to see. And Stephanie's like, hope it's better than the pizza party.

And she says, last time I said to disaster, like, I do not have my hopes. But I'll do my little dance and I'll make it out alive. Yeah. So yeah, Stephanie's asking Brandy how she feels about seeing Deandra and Brandy's like, no, I honestly didn't think it was like that big of a deal I mean she appreciate you know she appreciates anyone going on their own journeys and you know like like I just I appreciate that and then you know

I just I just question the out-of-body feelings, you know, astral projections, you know like the Rose the Rose that just like rose a big red Red one for me. Yeah, yeah, that's the second big red flag. I got it Yeah, the devil just like it's capable of doing anything he wants you know like devil Yeah, let's give you extensions next minute devil's like waiting for the face. Yeah, blowing smoke. It's just like it's scary Like if devil I can wear Prada. I love you. I love you so much. I love you girl I actually can't wear high-fashion up because the devil wears Prada So yeah, like if you can wear Prada, then like he can also be inside your soul. It's like, yeah, what are you supposed to do? I think you're a good Christian, Braddie. You go, girl. Does the devil wear Michael Cours?

So, um, Stephanie's like, well, I just think that like, Pamela thinks that you said that like she wasn't a Christian. And she's like, honestly, I should be able to express myself as her friend, you know, but then she gets into her head and then she makes it into whatever she wants it to be. Well, when you say that you're her sister in Christ and that she's like, basically turning towards the devil. You know, it's not that hard to turn into something.

I mean, you're the one who's preaching about the devil. So why are you so surprised that the devil is twisting your words, Brandy. Yes, and the devil's like, Betelgees, except he don't need you to say his nine three times. Okay, say it once and he's in your living room sitting on your goddamn barclang. So then we go to Tiffany's Lueau, her Lux Lueau. Just keep writing that down because it's always on the screen. It's like Tiffany's Lux Lueau. Which writing that down because it's always on the screen. It's like Tiffany's Lux Lou out. Ooh!

Which by the way was just like a Lou out. Just like a Lou out. So there's like those swirly chairs. Have you ever sat in those swirly chairs? They are the most fun things. Fuck no, I sit in one of those stupid things. They're like a turned over top that just roll all over the place.

No, I will not be sitting in a stupid top chair. Yeah, they don't seem like they're, they don't seem like they're like, um, Ronnie, Ronnie friendly. No. Like, and that they, not that like you wouldn't be able to do it. I just know that you would be like, I'd be a very upset. And also, guess what? That's how I look sitting in a chair. Okay. that would be like a Ronnie sitting on a Ronnie just like Not really understanding which part is supposed to be stable So Tiffany is like very excited. She's like, oh my gosh. I feel like I'm in Hawaii. Oh my god I'm like, oh we have our legs and like thank you so much I really have to work on her laugh because I think that if I continue to butcher it, people will just not believe that it's there. Cameron comes in the snooze-iest wine dress I've ever seen in my life.

It's like the pattern, but then she's got like a full reunion scrunch up and like, you know, perfectly straight, and like cardboard-ed feathered effect on the front and then Jen shows up but she's like this is perfection hi i'm Jen i'm here life the party's arrived everyone Jen is here gobalabia and so Stephanie of course does that exactly what you think i love getting laid So make your own poke stand There's no cricket in here right girl Girl any chicken chicken feet in your girl

Excuse me. I just burped into everyone's ears. I was not trying to do that. I apologize deeply I know that you like people to bring things to you and I brought you something guess what it is It's a tequila infused pineapple Everybody I brought to you for me a tequila infused pineapple. Hey bartender. What do you do with this? It's a tequila infused pineapple I'm used to find Apple. Hey bartender, what do you do with this? It's a tequila infused pineapple Oh reminds me my mother. You know she was an alcoholic. Yes My mother was addicted to pineapples Pacifico Get it on for a second

Come on gather and gather in my mother loves pineapple and boots. There. Is it it? It's a butterfly! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho such a good party. And then we get clips of them being like, wow, this is like so much better. I mean, there's like chairs. I like food. I like chairs. So I mentioned chairs. This is a good party.

Uh-huh. Yeah. So yeah, they're just, they're just like all having a fun time and everything and talking about how the party is better. And it camera and it's like, you know, it just really goes to prove that people are trainable. Okay. They're trainable. So she's talking to you, Dandra, and she says, girl, this week has been a lot because my look, Tursity went out for three days. And Dandra's like, oh my

God, that must be insane. So you have to get people come over to look at your electricity and rewire all that I mean that must have cost you an outrageous fortune starting shall we long bit love it You ever try to jump from one rock formation to another so then Why is that the most classic? It means that's all I remember for that movie. Well, I remember for that entire movie. The Shelley Long, because she was a battle arena, I was able to make that big jump from one rocky thing to the five fingers.

And it's just like a jet, a garage a tape from one to the other and the original end eyes or something. I don't know. So I also remember there was a shot with a huge image of the moon. I haven't seen this movie in 30 years. I just remember a shot with the moon

and jelly long making that jump. Anyway. So Cameron's like, you know what? I don't know. I don't know about how it just fortune. I like never see the bills. Like I've never seen electricity bowl since I've been marred. Okay, not one, not one bowl.

Not one, oh, it's also like a bowl. Okay. And the producer's like, so do you do any bills? Nope. Do you do the water? No. Gas? No.

Credit cards? Nope. Mm. Like, I literally, like, I look at a duck and I just see like a big white thing. I don't even see the bills on a duck. Mm. Mm. I don't see the bills.

So she's like, I don't want to know how much the utility wheels are. That's for court. So she tells her, I have a credit card and he monitors that. He'll be like, what is just $5,000 charge? And I say it's for the kids. And then it's okay. You know, if it's for me and Neem, I'm in trouble. Girl.

So then Jen and Tiffany are talking and Jen's like, I'm gonna get a mommy makeover. And Tiffany's like, oh my God, I'm not a mommy makeover. I'm like, what is that? Did I get it? Did I start to get it a little bit, Ronnie? What? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh makeover is like, you just sort of like a little tummy tuck, a little dis and that, tightened up.

And Jen's like, oh yeah, my, my labia just like a little goblet, just like, blah blah blah, just sort of like waving in the wind. It's like, I need a little snip. It's just basically like, have you ever seen like some cabbage in the supermarket that kind of fell off onto the floor? That's kind of what my labia looks like.

Am I right, my labia? So like, have you ever thrown below any of the window? I mean, that's basically what we're dealing with here snip snip trim trim You know what I'm saying? I'm like Jen why like Congrats on your vagina, okay? I hope it all works out for you But it's like multiple scenes now. We're Jen. It just does her best to get her goblory vagina Trying to make it her arc you know that scene in a Christmas carol where that got from like Christmas past comes up with all the chains. That's like my labia those chains.

I mean girl I support your I support your whatever you need to do. Go for it. It's just an odd thing to like hang your hat on. No problem. She's probably getting screwed by the producer. She probably has told so many fascinating stories. The producers are like, hmm, let's just limit her to labia comments. Yeah, the only thing we're keeping in labia.

Love the turkey cobbler. Love the chocolate comments. I had to get up drinking because I realized the impact that I had on my family, you know, I worked so hard in my life. You know, I used to actually be a buyer for one of the top brands. Can you just talk about the labia, your labia gobbler? Yeah, just, hey, if we asked you one thing that looks like a turkey, what would you say? My labia?

Perfect. Okay, place it. You're cut for the day. Bring brandia. But I'm actually like so proud of my body and you know it took me years and years to have self acceptance and you know at this point you know like so I have a little bit of a like a gobbler gobbler of a labia gobbler of a labia great okay let's just take that clip okay great Jen you're done for today thank you so much yeah so then they do some they get some hula dancing lessons and And of course, Cameron's like, Errr, errr, errr.

She looks like she's spinning the cabbage patch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roger Rabbit. I mean, I get it. You know, you're an expert hula hooper, but the ocean doesn't, it goes like this. It doesn't go like this. OK, go like this.

I'm not like this. And then a fire dancer comes out and he's like amazing and he like does this one thing where he does like this acrobatic, like, thing where he jumps in summer solts or whatever. It's like a flip and he like lands like perfectly. It was like a video game. I felt like it was like ninja game or something like that. He's like, you just like landed it.

So well, I like went back and I watched it like three times. It's like, that was so good. All right, but you're being this back. Okay. So Tiffany's like, I'm gonna lose an eyebrow. Please don't like my husband's hotel mom fire. Okay. And they say, hey, how did you find a fire dancer?

And she's like, I went on Craigslist and I was like, who's disappointed their parents by not going to medical school and instead, squirrels fire? And the family. Mom, stop throwing slippers at the fire dancer. He's not your son. Mom, stop it. Okay, all right, now you're throwing them at Deandra.

That's okay, you can do Deandra, that's fine. So, what's her bones? Tiffany starts dancing with the fire dancer numb chuck things. She calls them that. I don't know what they're called. And then Carrie grabs something else and starts chasing her around the

yard with it. And she's like, you know, the thing with Carrie is just I don't know if she's kidding or not, you know, because she could like me on fire. So get back to your butterfly. Get back here. Bob, get back here.

Bob, he like his 99 and your 21, whichever 18 is earlier. Ah! So then, now they all sit down at the table and they all, at all their play settings, there's like a big, like, leaf, like a tropical leaf. And so Cameron like picks it up and it's justing it. She's like, mm, just like, I wonder if this is real or if it's fake. Mm, I think it's real. It's real. No, it's fake.

It's fake. That's why it's glossy. You know what? I'm a blonde detective and I always figure things out. That's what this is fake. Okay, this is a fake electric bill. The Cameron, that's not electric bill. Never seen one. don't know.

Don't know what it looks like. So then dinner is served and Carrie's like, oh, I would like to say so nice to be here and I would also like to thank me for getting Tiffany, a basket of hot sauce and also Tiffany for getting the key love juice pineapple, you're very welcome. Hey, remember that party last night when D'Andra was yelling at everyone because she's crazy? Oh, what happened?

I got so drunk I couldn't remember because I was partying like it was 1999. Be a host, tell me, tell me. I'm D'Andra who just can never be happy winning. Okay, Tandra, you've already won this. Like you don't need to come in this hard. You've already won, but she can't win. So she always has to be wrong by the end of an episode no matter what, right? She's like, well, I went to my, I went to Brandy about making my mother, you know, my mother, I wanted Brandy to make my mother feel better about meditation.

And it had nothing to do with religion. But then Brandy said, I was in a Christian. Like that, well that's not what she said. So now you've gone from like the winning hand just looking like an asshole too. Yeah. Yeah, she didn't play it, but she didn't say you're a bad Christian. Yeah, so Dandro's like, you said, I know you,

and I know what you believe in what I'm doing my life, it has nothing to do with what I'm doing as a Christian, and I really have my feelings, you know mother and And then basically Deandra was like you know last year we went to a haunted house and you said you were talking to ghosts and everything And she's like I never question you because you because I know you're a Christian and whatever you do is between you and God Okay, and you've done a lot between you and God, okay? Okay, I don't judge Yeah, and she's like, well, I respect people's journeys, but when I go into things

like that, like the meditation, I just make sure that I go with the Lord first. And she's like, um, okay, did you pray before you went to that haunted house? She goes, yes, I did. Nice try, but I did pray. She was, yes, I did. Nice try, but I did pray. So Deandra was like, all right, fine. Well guess what, Abra, Abra at the side, it's pendulum, okay? And she basically is saying,

like there was this pendulum that I forgot about, that was supposed to like point to spirits, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And she's like, basically, like this stuff is a lot weirder than anything that Darren taught us, you know? And like, you know, and she's like, the fact that you've gone through so much this year that you've been judged by everyone

and then you're gonna turn around and judge me is bullshit. And you know, Brandy's like, I wasn't judging you. I was just merely expressing the fact that I was disappointed in you. And I wasn't judging you. It was just pointing out. It was just about that. Yeah, I was just pointing out that, you know, what you're doing is satanic and you're probably going to burn in hell for eternity

But I wasn't really judging you okay and say you know I was I was looking for you to have my back with my mother She goes oh, well, did you want me to be honest or did you want me to lie to your mother? So I can't do a question you're a cafeteria Chris Hmm. So I could bring you a cafeteria question. You're a cafeteria question. I love that term. And she goes, you take the green jello, you take the blue jello.

Like you're leaving out the mac and cheese, the white rolls, God of the blue bees. Yeah, it sounds like a great, it sounds like a great style of Christianity. I'm like a little bit more creative. If that was Christianity, everybody would be crushed in, you know? Luby's cafeteria show up, get some cod with some mayonnaise on top and some crust.

I mean, I mean, I mean. Yeah. So, you know, Brandy's like, that's bullshit, yeah, and draw. And then Cameron says something about how like Brandy's feeling guilty and like reflecting and realizing that she didn't, I don't know what it was, that Cameron was trying to say. She's just trying to stand up for Brandy and she's like like well, I think what Brandi is feeling is regret right now Which is has nothing to do with anything and the and it's like so talking to spirits is better than meditation She's like hey, Dantra. I was a child when that happened. I never asked for that that happened to me

Oh, okay, Brad is keeping the victim in this She was assaulted she was like it was like ghost assault on Brandi, okay. Brandon's even the victim in this. Like, she was assaulted. She was like, it was like ghost assault on Brandy, okay. Yeah. Well, here's what I don't understand about her line of thinking. She was freaked out about astral projections because Darren said he had an out-of-body experience.

The fact that Brandy even took that seriously is already questionable. I mean, why would you take it? It's Darren, the guy who did extensions. But she's saying that that freaked her out because the devil takes many forms, yada, yada, yada. So you're ready to kind of discount this whole meditation experience because you feel like the devil is lurking in it. But then when you literally have ghosts speaking to you, aren't you ever, don't you ever think to yourself, maybe that's also the devil in some sort of other form following Brandy's logic. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, but she's saying this. Deandra,

Deandra is choosing to leave her body. So basically what she's saying is Deandra is saying she's going to leave her body, which leaves it open to the devil or some kind of satanic spirit to come inside of her. Right. And the brandy, and I know this because, I was raised like this, but then brandy can't help seeing ghosts because it's like some gifts that she's been given. So it's not her fault, but the adres is her fault because she's leaving herself open to her.

I mean, geez. Yeah. Now, the logic of the other hand, if I were a Satanic spirit and there was a body left open, I'd take the Andres too. I mean, the girl is rich. She's rich. She's got a hot husband who likes to bang all the time and cooks for her. I mean, if she has Mama D for a mom, I'd take that. Mama D is like, well, you have been just so much more lovely or dandruff. What happened ever since that say on C went to. May still got hiccups all the time. But otherwise, you're doing great.

Now, do me a favor. Could you please stop throwing up all that piece you pull over the floors? You know, Maddie seems to lick it up and just it's problem. So Brandy's like, well, I wasn't judging you. I was just saying it was a red flag What's the astro gliding and stuff because when you go astro gliding? So well first of all, I don't even know what astro gliding is. Okay, you know What's astro gliding? Okay, as she goes? It's when you leave your body and your soul. She says astro projection Astro glidingis a lubricant Okay, you use that for sex

I used that as well. It's actually really good for asshole Yeah, and they're basically like what we've all done things that the Bible says not to do and carries like says not to do and carries like, oh yeah, it's like the non commandments, you know, non-commandments. They're like, carry. Non-commandments. And Tiffany's like, wow, you think there's only nine. Okay, what, what commandment did you eliminate

to get to nine? That's what I want to know. So they're like, okay, name the 10 commandments, or name the nine commandments, commandments, carry. And she's like, well, it's's like don't slip with the neighbor. Don't masturbate. Don't walk by pool without shoving someone in. Don't date by Nappel and rest his infuser. Tequila without the fortiphany. That shall not be a bad host. Leave that's not your friends.

That's not sure if it's just your friends with that ice. Uh, equal room in car after trunk show. That was not not hard car. No, when she says master, but don't masturbate, Dan was like, oh, well, then even camera's going

to hell on that one camera goes Oh, who said I do that? Things I haven't done master brain syllables That's pretty much it. Yeah And so that's how it ends everyone ends laughing because it's so ridiculous, but Brandy is like, yeah, Brandy's all mad. It's like, um, yeah. Oh, we didn't talk about this last week,

because this happened before, after we recorded our episode, we were able to record our episode earlier, because we did, we did watch Travis Lives, did I brag about that? But a video came out like right after, right after we, we recorded our episode of, it looks, it looks pretty much like 95 to 99 to 100%

Brandy's husband kissing a girl at a club. Oh yeah, yeah, I was wondering which you were gonna bring up. Yeah, yeah, so that has a lot of people theorizing that's the real reason why Brandy quit because she knew it was coming out. I don't know. Questions also like what club was he in? I mean, who knows when the video was taken. It may have been pre-pandemic, but it's also they said it was I heard it. I read it. You know, I asked the Shawmody and she told me it was 2018. Oh, okay. That tracks. But yeah, people say, is it cheating? Because the woman's like all up on him,

like kind of kissing him in a club. Or is it a drug deal? Because it looks like she's kind of... You know, they're all these things. Yeah, because it looks like kind of, like she's handing him something. I don't know. I've never had that kind of a drug deal.

I actually had that totally. Probably still the on drugs, if those were the kinds of deals I was making. It's just like, some poppers and shows up and makes out with you. It's like I mean I've never been I've never done a drug deal, but my impression of what a drug deal would involve would not be that You've done a drug deal remember that time we were staying at a health moment I said Ben would you run downstairs? There's someone there with my food. And then you came up with my sal, I mean, like, compromising position.

I can't believe that your quote unquote salad. I should have known. I should have known. Yeah, but anyway, so this poor woman, I don't know. I guess she does not a lot of options out there in the world. So she, yeah, I don't, man. I don't know, man. I don't know.

So, you know, it's like that saying, there's nothing like the self-confidence of an ugly rich person or rich man. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, man. Yeah. Ugly, wait, ugly, ugly rich straight man. Yeah. And not really, oh, well, we saw him below deck this week. It does not, it's not limited to straight. Okay, because we saw that. That's right.

That's true. Just man. Man, yeah, I think we have to throw ourselves in there for that one. But yeah, I don't, you know, I saw that there was no controversy with me. I, I mean, that's bad. You don't cheat on your wife, which of course you shouldn't cheat on your wife, but it's brandy, but also like, I guess I care because she has kids, but then I don't, I just don't care.

Is that wrong? Well, I feel like he, he's never really hidden has kids, but then I don't, I just don't care. Is that wrong? Well, I feel like he's never really hidden his distaste for her ever since, I mean, we all remember season one. And he always looks like he barely tolerates her in the first place. And her, I remember this year when she said, she likes, her favorite sexual position is from behind, so she doesn't have to smell his breath.

Like she doesn't seem to really like him that much either. So, I mean, it's like having sex with an eel is from behind so she doesn't have to smell his breath. Like she doesn't seem to really like him that much either. So. I mean, it's like having sex with an eel thudge cracker, you know, so or cookie, you know, it's just I get it. Um, you know, I, I, if he did do that, if it is him, then like, that's bullshit. Like as much talk as much as we talk about Brandy, like, that's, like, she doesn't deserve that.

Oh, yeah, no, yeah, of course. Yeah, you're an asshole, but like, I don't care about these people. So it's like, wow't deserve that. Oh yeah, I know, yeah, of course. Yeah, you're an asshole, but I don't care about these people. So it's like, wow, look at these people. You could give two shits about doing bad things to each other. I don't care. It's like when I see an ID day fiancee post, and I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, I just scrolled a little bit.

That's like, I'm trash, I'm like, trash, to each other. So I'm like, okay, like, so I'm like, yeah, so I'm like, let's go on. Let's see what happens. Yeah, I feel that way about an ID day fiancee too. And on that note Thank you all for listening and watching today

We are gonna be doing our bonus episode. We're gonna be doing a full breakdown of the Roni trailer and Probably also discuss maybe some ancillary things like Bethany getting divorced and engaged on the same day as the Roni trailer and you know what? Some other things maybe either way check that out on patreon. Thank you for listening. We're back tomorrow with real housewives of New Jersey Should be a blast. Bye Everyone I moved the window over I was supposed to close it. You're supposed to close that window Ronnie Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alice and King.

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