Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Los Dildo Es Muy Not Classy, Por Favor

Episode Date: October 4, 2017

The Real Housewives of Dallas trip to Mexico hits a rocky patch when Brandi chases Kameron with a big, brown dildo. It doesn't go over well. And we love it. See acast.com/privacy for privac...y and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media, go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at
Starting point is 00:01:15 patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends, the podcast, but all that crap on Bravo, that we just love to watch. I am Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bantro Blender podcast. And joining me, as always, is just the hilarious and lovely and wonderful Ronnie Carrom from trashtalktv.com
Starting point is 00:01:38 and the Roseprick Special podcast. What's up? Well, hello, B. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Hi, baby. How are you doing? Good, I'm so excited to be here. I'm a kitchen. Oh, well, I'm excited that you're in your kitchen too. Thank God for Skype. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Thank God. Imagine if we have to do this face to face every single time. It would be madness. Thank you so much for being here and for being such good little family members. We've got tons of live shows, sorry to promote them all the time, but we'll do it more quickly. San Francisco almost sold out, or if it's not already, we didn't check today, but it probably is. But if not, go get tickets, go to watchupcrapons.com.
Starting point is 00:02:20 That's going to be November 4th at Social Hall. So go get your tickets, and then we've got some other dates possibly coming up after that, which we'll be announcing. We're having so much fun doing the live shows on the tour. I'm seeing the country. Yeah. And I mean, people, we get to meet all our peeps. And the best part is that every live show
Starting point is 00:02:40 has had its own sort of crazy aspect to it. And they've kind of been these one of a kind events. So, and they'll continue to be very, very, very excited and if you are going to one of our concerts, be sure to join our Facebook group that's dedicated to the live shows. It's called Watch What Happens Live and Lovenit. It's a private Facebook group, so you can go in there, and you can say stuff in the general public will not hear it. But go to it because there are polls up asking about what city you might be in, where we might want to bring the show to, people arrange their pre-show hangouts there,
Starting point is 00:03:20 just coordinate with other people, any sort of information that we might have about after parties and things like that, we will post in Watch Your Crappens Live and Loving it. And, you know, we usually put stuff also on social media, but that's a place to go to get all your Crappens Live show stuff. Yeah, so get your little butts over there. Please do so. As for today, today we have the Real Housewives of Dallas, Texas.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Yeah. Mm hmm. The Hossles. What a fun episode. So these girls are in Mexico. Yeah. And I got so excited when it began because the previous leagues were all, I got weapons and they're not just knives. Just and they work quite well. And then it cuts right to Leanne going, oh, look, the work quite well.
Starting point is 00:04:06 And then it cuts right to Leanne going, oh look, the sun is out. That was such an, like that last week's episode, that stuff behind that door was so instantly iconic. They were just hands and they worked quite well. Oh my God, just hilarious. I was particularly excited about this week's episode because as you know, I am obsessed with Cameron also and I was actually really surprised that when I asked the audience at the Chicago show, so was everyone Yeah. Well, it's so funny because he shows our edited, you know, they're,
Starting point is 00:04:49 they're shown so much later than they're shot. In other words, you can't really even amend your behavior. They don't know until the very, until it's airing, it's all done. You know, it's like, she can't even go back and fix it. And it's got to suck because this episode is more camera than any camera episode ever. I love it. I love it. Cameron was really Cameron times my two million camera. I wonder I actually think I feel like Cameron's personality is very gay friendly.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Like I think that Gaze would be like oh my god I love her but I can see women getting really annoyed with her. Does that make sense? Like I feel like I love her because I really annoyed with her. Does that make sense? I feel like, well, I love her because I'm annoyed with her. It's just so beautiful. And Cameron is so white in Mexico that Cameron Diaz is going to have to take the Diaz out of her name. It's like she's white in that name so much.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Yeah, she's like a tall skinny sand dune. And the thing is that she, what I think what I'd love about her think what I'd love about her What I love about her is I think that this is something that like hey guys really appreciate in the woman is when they It's like a lack of self-awareness, but in the best way is like she's just she's just being hurt like she can't help but be grossed out and say these Normally very snooty like stick up your ass things, but the way she says them and the way she's almost like a cliche in how she says them,
Starting point is 00:06:11 it's just sort of like tickles my little gay heart. I just love somebody bringing the church lady back. I mean, that was one of my favorite 80s SNL characters with Dana Carvey and she really does make that church lady face, you know, the purse lips and all that that I just fucking love it she's like even making Cameron gifts last night I don't think I ever make Cameron gifts I made one today I couldn't help myself because she's also she represents some of our
Starting point is 00:06:35 favorite respovers from characters she's L Woods as they've mentioned she's also some Tracy Flick she's I'm sure she's some some of that like big little lies. Resort their spoon, which is also to be sure. Oh no, she would never ever do Avenue Q. Oh, it's about the Sanity Theater. She would never. She would do maybe guys and dogs. She has brilliant puppets for me. Where I come from puppets don't act like that. I'm sorry, but those puppets are inappropriate. Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. No, everyone is not. Everyone might be a little racist sometimes,
Starting point is 00:07:15 but everyone should be classy all the time. Like changing the whole thing to a manner, so. So we're day one in Mexico. It's like, don't don't don't don't don't day one in Mexico. And everybody's basically getting ready to go out. Leanne's like, well, I got new bids, but that don't mean I can't go to a new beach. Yeah, whatever. And Cameron is staying with Carrie, which is the most awkward pairing ever because Carrie just smiles at her with her cross-eyed smile like, Uh-huh, I'm really enjoying this. Yeah, and and Carrie is planning on putting on this like really skimpy bathing suit and Cameron's like, I would feel like I'm naked in that, but that's so cute for you, you know?
Starting point is 00:08:00 Carrie says, I feel like in the South, compliments can be insults. Yeah, hello, Carrie, welcome. Have you seen yourself on the show? And then Camry just keeps going. She's like, oh my God, that's like a Hilton bag. It's so small. If you look in the mirror, you'll see two of your slutty selves because you have crossed eyes. And that's great.
Starting point is 00:08:23 I love how insecure you are. That the only way you can feel joy is from the attention of people on a beach in Mexico. It's amazing that you want to make everybody have sex with you. When your own husband is probably getting blow jobs at the roundup, which is a wonderful bar. I admire his taste. I love a bar that has some sort of initiation as in it wants to round up people to give Mark bloat jobs. Oh, that's an initiative. I approve of. I approve of that. Yeah. Oh, all cameras really missing at this point is a okay. Like I feel like everything she says should end with a Okay, well again like her body language is so fantastic the way she always tilts her head and it's like
Starting point is 00:09:13 She'll like crinkle her nose and nod maybe or like she does like a shrug she does all these things I love it. Yes the camera nod while she blinks very hard Oh, I love it. Yes, the camera nods while she blinks very hard. And slowly, like slow hard blinks, like this really means something. So over in Brandy and Stephanie's room, Brandy's like, let's put this ditto into the address bag. She's like, she's conservative, so this will be funny. Yeah, I'm like, it just feels like
Starting point is 00:09:51 very basic comedy, you know. Yeah, it's kind of the brandy and Stephanie comedy. It's like, oh, far. Brandy is like, we have so much fun together about 10 years ago We did a girls trip and we thought it would be funny to put an egg in our vagina And the last person with the egg got their vacation page 4 by the egg corporation like who's gonna pay for that? Yeah, I I give the last stuff for me to wrap my brand around in that one What was the egg? Was it a hard boiled egg or was this like actually just an egg that could break if you did a cake?
Starting point is 00:10:31 No, it's frightening, but I feel like that trip to Mexico horrified Mexico. It's like Mexico is just getting over it. It's like, do you know how those maids were probably going through the rooms like how many sheets do we have to clean like vagina yoke off of? Like what happened to these rooms? yoke off of like what happened with these rooms. So and Stephanie of course denies that it ever happened. I'm written just like she was the one who won. So so then they all meet up together in like one suite and camera and goes up to Lian. She's like you look cute girl.
Starting point is 00:10:59 I'm like like when camera tries to be sassy. Yeah, it's like the first time you hear your Mimase cool. Yeah. He's like, that, who will? Like that just doesn't fit. And it's also like 50 years later, just stop. Yeah. So the ladies all go out to the beach to have some sort of like lunchtime buffet.
Starting point is 00:11:17 And you can tell there's a bunch of white ladies coming because the labels next to all the condiments. It's like, there's a label next to the Pico de Gaio and it says Mexican sauce. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yes, we get that it's salsa, okay. We know what salsa is. So they give them like tequila shots, everything, and they're like, oh, and here's a sipping tequila
Starting point is 00:11:36 and Brandi just chugs it. So like, okay, they are ready to make their mark on Mexico right now. And Brandi, of course, has that whole rule. Like if you don't find fart jokes funny, then you just don't get humor. She's one of those. Exactly. So she's like, sexual chocolate is about having fun and seeing who else likes a good
Starting point is 00:11:54 time. Yeah. Okay. So Cameron's already like, she's already like annoyed with all this tequila. She's like, this is not the way I typically start my morning. Normally I start my morning by practicing my Spanish, Piso Mojado, Porfavoro. Tequila. These girls want to drink all of it. Like everything she says is the biggest exclamation ever. I know.
Starting point is 00:12:27 There's sand on the beach everywhere. So this is the inevitable scene in every show formed in Mexico where there's like we have a bowl of worms or grasshoppers and they're like they're like what are those and the bus food goes is crunchy yeah so what they do so so they're like okay let's try it and so Kerry puts the worm in her tequila and then tries a chugga which is not how I supposed to eat it and then she's like and they're like ew I'm like well you did it wrong you're not supposed to chugga and of course I felt weird because you're not supposed to just swallow it whole and like the Andrew being like well you know it's crunchy you're not supposed to chug it, and of course I felt weird because you're not supposed to just swallow it whole. And like the Andrew being like, well you know, it's crunchy, you're not supposed to put in your tequila, you're supposed to eat it like this. Oh my god, the Andrews! What? What?
Starting point is 00:13:12 Brandy goes, you have money, and you did that! Dandercus, I would like to see these girls in a third world's country. Okay, because that is what you do. I would like to see them like, I don't know, write up bicycle. I mean, that would be nuts. These girls are crazy. If listen, if I'm going to be taken over my mom's empire, I'm going to do whatever it takes. If that means eating a worm, I will eat a worm and show D that. Okay, I will show D that. Does anyone have a VHS recorder so we can put this on our TV? You know, Janet, the worker with the hair net in the factory is sitting at home like that
Starting point is 00:13:48 girl just ate a worm. She thinks she's going to take over this company. You got another thing coming, Sandra! Well, because Dee probably told her before she left the trip. Now Deandra, you behave yourself and the last thing I want to see you do is put some worms in your mouth on TV or something like that. Just like, alright, mother, I'll show you what I'm going to do. I'm do is put some worms in your mouth on TV or something like that. Just like, all right, mother, I'll show you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna worms in my mouth! So, Carrie, of course, does it too, but it's not if it's impressive because like she swallows Mark.
Starting point is 00:14:14 So like no one's even shocked. So she's like, I can't do it. Uh, texturally, it was a problem. And it reminded me of what you said. What were you saying with texturally? You're like, that is texturally inconsistent. What did you say? I don't know if it was in the live show or what,
Starting point is 00:14:31 but you said something about texturally. You're like, that is texturally inconsistent or that is texturally something. It was something. I go into a fugue state when we do our show. I don't know anything I've ever said. There's some hilarious turn of freeze and I thought, oh my God, you know, the Bravo Gods
Starting point is 00:14:46 were watching Ben. Well, whoever remembers this comment that Ron is talking about can chime in on our Facebook. I also like to have Randy's joke just totally backfire. They're like, oh my God, Deandra's so conservative. She's going to freak out. And Deandra just like opens up her bag. She's like, oh, I love the fact that somebody put a dildo in my bag. That's funny. Hey, look, dildo. What did you kill your thoroughbred?
Starting point is 00:15:12 I'm no stranger to dildos, but whoa, pony. Did you notice how bravo blurred out the shaft but not the balls of the dildo? That was a wheelchair, okay. Thank you for changing the rules. Like now we can see the guys but on below deck But I don't know just bring it all on you know or when they I like when they just like put out the nipples Well, they blurred out on such a fine line that it's essentially the same as looking at it unblurred
Starting point is 00:15:39 You know, it's like perfectly outlined with the penis. So you're like, okay, well, it's essentially a penis You know, it's like perfectly outlined with the penis. So you're like, okay, well, it's essentially the look of your penis. Yeah. Or as with, as we've learned from all these housewives shows, by this point, everybody's and I nipples pretty much look like that anyway. That's what they're going to have surgery. It's just like the blur down at nipple. So this, this big brown d what I do on my vacation.
Starting point is 00:16:05 That's disgusting. I won't go over there, I won't. Which is basically just Randy, like pass it to her. And stuff and he's like, we should do it. Were you sharing your feelings with the weiner? Like it's the talking weiner.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Like if you want to talk, you have to like pass the weiner. Like you'll have a weiner and then the only person that can talk is the person with the weener. Ha ha! Like all this the only way you can talk is with the weener. I was like, okay Stephanie we- We get it. It's a play on the conch. We got it. So Randy starts chasing Cameron away with the big dildo. And she's actually-
Starting point is 00:16:41 That is not coming near me. Brandy was actually kind of funny because she was going up to everyone and asking questions with it. And she's actually not coming near me. Brandy was actually kind of funny because she was going up to everyone and asking questions with it. And then she goes up to Cameron. She's like, are you sad that this isn't in pink? It's like there's one funny thing she did there. And Cameron is getting so mad.
Starting point is 00:16:57 She's like trying to pretend she's from Texas. Like I like when people whip at that fake accent. She's like like this behavior is Scotsing this is a level I don't do. It's like okay nice nice accent on behavior, but what is this my fair lady? This is girls gone wild Extra wild Limited edition super wild, triple X, wild, double DVD, and the other DVDs scratch. It's Brandy, does, Dildo Dallas, Mexico.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Por favor, to Cuito. It's like the box that's, and I want no part at that film. I don't want that dildo near my box set if you know what I'm saying. Cameron, it's just respectful. Thank you. Please cover it. And we have to take the glass bowl off the table and she's like, I'll take some sand over it.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Yeah, she does like very, very old ritual. It's like watching brandy be brandy is hilarious, but watching cam run from brandy. It's painful. This is not a corny game. This is a deal though. It must be buried in the sand for a crab. And of course, this is Brandy's entire season one. Like I had pupe on my hat and no one thought it was funny.
Starting point is 00:18:31 There mean. Yeah. So everyone's friends now, I guess, kind of, so curious trying to be on her side, but it's really hard because it's just so stupid. And Deandra is basically saying, listen, okay, you had your joke, but you have to respect Cameron's boundaries. It's only fair, I'm pretty sick. But it's funny. It's funny. Actually, it's sort of humorous, but the only way things can ever be funny is you have
Starting point is 00:18:56 to know your audience. And again, it's like, oh, look at the dildo. Like, we've been here before. It just doesn't work in the same way. You know, like, because you know what's not funny? Watching frickin' Bachelorette parties walking around with little penis straws. Like, there's no novelty in this anymore.
Starting point is 00:19:13 It's not original or new. Okay, it's a Dildo, get over it. Yeah, it'll all be okay, okay, Brandy. So, I have to point out that Brandy has like smeared eye makeup. Yes, for mascara. Let's have the mascara smears under her eyes. So I have to point out that Brandy has like smeared eye makeup. Yes. Like mascara. Let's have the mascara smears under her eyes. So she's got that raccoon thing going and nobody tells her.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Yeah, no one. All time her her lower eyelashes are so mascaraed out that they it like bled onto her like her cheeks. Like but not like cry. It just sort of like there's like little footprints from your little, yes, little baby footprints. So Cameron's like respected boundaries and Cameron is, because Brandi won't let it go. She just keeps waving it around. So Cameron's like, well, I feel like I was raised in a certain way. And Brandi's like, oh, so that means I
Starting point is 00:20:02 wasn't raised, well, but I'm sorry. Okay, you got what you wanted. Yeah. You're a big class warfare fight. Okay. Like I'm sorry, you have to live in Plano, but people don't want them their faces hit with Dicks there either. Yeah, I would assume. Yeah, I mean, I actually respect the fact that like someone may not want to be chased
Starting point is 00:20:20 around with a Dildo, and like, I don't, it wouldn't bother me. But you know, I read whatever. It's like the dumbest fight I can't even believe we're talking about it. And I love that Brandy turns it around for what she wants. And Cameron's like, well, all I'm saying is that some people have different backgrounds. And the end's like, that's basically saying, she's low class and you're not the world class warfare.
Starting point is 00:20:42 I can guarantee you, we will be on the Titanic if that happens. So Brandy's being awesome to pass their gress and she's like, it's fine if the Dildo isn't cam's kind of fun. You're not my kind of fun cam. It's just like, like what? Yeah, she consists. No offense to you. It was Neven Pink. She's like, okay, you've said it. I do hate when people, I do hate when people be like, it's a joke. It's a joke. You should be laughing. It's a joke.
Starting point is 00:21:14 I mean, it's just a joke for me to get into a fight with you about how you think I'm low class, because you're rich or whatever, whatever. Which is true, but I don't know. There's better things to fight about. And all I wrote is, for Andy Shutup, all you're missing is an armpit fart, like you're trying too hard.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Yeah, it's. And I carry a sec. It's like fun because I'm friends with both, but it's like also really awkward because I'm friends with both, and I'm like, stop. So they, they're like, I don't know how high to raise my eyebrow antennas. Should they be at a full V or a wide V?
Starting point is 00:21:48 It's like, I am mad joke, joke, joke. So they they split into two different groups and Cameron, because they have been sitting there eating their worms or standing there, eating their worms at this outside beach table. Yeah. And Cameron's like, um, we're sitting down it dinner, right? I don't know. That was Liam's answer to that.
Starting point is 00:22:08 That was Liam. That was Liam. Oh, really? It was like no buns, guns or toys. Okay. Is that your only list because you did not say fart or poop in hats and you will get some. So of course, Brandy and Steph are racking on Cameron over wherever they are. And then Liam and Deandra are talking about and they're just saying how, Brandy and Steph are racking on Cameron over wherever they are. And then Leanne and Deandra are talking about,
Starting point is 00:22:26 and they're just saying how basically Brandy should have dropped the joke. It's like it was over. Like it wasn't landing, you just move on. I mean, that's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, and I'm curious, like, well, I'm not behind that, because I think it was a fat flop. And Brandy's like, well, it's fine if you don't approve,
Starting point is 00:22:40 but I can't continue to hang with people who can't laugh. Ah, ah, ah, ah. And Stephanie's definitely like she's like the fun police like carries like the fun police. Um, and she said camera was like the fun police. She's like, oh, she was saying Carrie was kiss now Carrie's like, well, that was inappropriate. No, she was saying that like, well, I think it was Cameron. She's saying like, we're like having fun. We're like playing with the deals. Oh Oh and everything. It's like a really fun time And it's like the equivalent of like being thrown into a pool by your husband and then all of a sudden She's like, no, you can't have fun like that. It's like
Starting point is 00:23:10 Like why? Stephanie really does need to be friends with Brandy at all times so because Stephanie will just let her bitch out Yeah, and I'm liking that more about Stephanie. She's not even really trying to hide it now She's just going with it and having fun. Yeah. So now, so, so, Kerry Stephanie and Brandy, they're all sitting on these, these chez lounges. And Kerry starts to be like, so by the way, I heard that Rich has like the world's smallest penis, like the smallest thing. Even it, like it goes the other way. It's like a tunnel, you know, and they're like, you know, and Brandy's like, well, Vich has a small penis and markets, markets has dissected the roundup. I'm not getting
Starting point is 00:23:49 involved. It's cut to her. Totally going to get involved. So they can put your house like you have to and carries drunk and ass. She just keeps saying, you know, you need a foot massage, riches, tiny deck. Did I say that already? That's crazy. Like his deck. I heard his deck has so small It was like that worm I tried to swallow so now it's nighttime face time Tom. Hey got Tom's face time Yeah, I don't know what the editors kept this this moment in here. It was like how are the kids? We went bowling They had fun Travis is like waking up from an app and the phone is way down below his nose.
Starting point is 00:24:29 He's like, what is it? I prove that he's straight because he does not know his angles. Yeah, I just read that guy is such a Flintstone. He really does look like a Flintstone. And he's like, we went to Penn Stack. He's like, thanks for the same guys. Thanks for taking care of him. And he's like, we went to Pennstack. It's like thanks for the same guys. So thanks for your intakes. Carrying Cameron's room.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Carry's like, do you know how to twerk? And Cameron's like, no girl, are you kidding me? It's the Carry show right now. Like that girl's booty is so small, usually. And now you've got a babushka in there, which is Spanish for barito. Okay. Did you know there were so many baritos in Russia?
Starting point is 00:25:14 Seems like she has mutes. Not for sure. I just asked to work. Just how can you do this? This is crazy. Wow. You're blessed. She can't work. Just how can you do this? This is crazy. Wow, you're blessed. She can't work. She carries like look at me twerk. Like no, you can't. So every time I see Kerry doing shit like this, I'm like, oh, a bot hold dance. Round up. So then we got to Leanne and Deandra and Leanne's like, you know what? To not, I think it's not going to be the night I'm going to, and then Leanne just turns.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Wait, hold on. Do I have to pay attention to this right now? Okay, I guess hold on, hold on. Okay, I'm going to pay attention. Alright, Leanne, say what you need to say. We are not going to do this in my hotel room. At least like, oh my gosh! I don't know, leaves like, oh my gosh! It's just a ring, but it works. Quat, whale. I got a weapon in my ring, and it's not hands.
Starting point is 00:26:14 It's just a ring! So they start crying, and she's like, look, it's two hearts and also the shape of a plane. Or a banana with grapes on the side. Or a flower. Or a cross. Or one of those iron things from Ross that everyone's gotten their kitchen. It's a Florida lian. A Florida lian.
Starting point is 00:26:41 A Florida lian. Hey, it's a Florida meat. I love Florida. So Deandra is like, I'm just happy that Leanne's not gonna die alone. Yeah, and she's like, I'll feel like watching Dandra tear up is how I felt when I saw her married Jeremy from the ceremony. Not just the party like Carrie. Louver! So Lee and I was like we finally both got a man who we deserve. I'm like guys get drunk, please. You're like I'm so glad you're married But please get drunk on board. Yeah. I did love Deandra's huge snake that she was wearing a red it's this big diamond snake She was wearing around her wrist. Well my mother is always close It's like I've got a proof of that ranked Andrew
Starting point is 00:27:24 I've got the proof of that ranked dandruff. Shut up, mother! So now they all meet up and they're like, I was bleeding. My stitch was like, oh, get out of me, but I was like, oh, I'm sick. Girls were being so nice to Liam. They're like, hi, hi, hi, hey, girl. You look so great. They're all really trying to be nice to this sober Leanne because they love sober Leanne.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Yeah, there are even like, even things are even nice with Cameron because the woman are saying how they got full massage on the beach and Cameron's like, someone just came and walked up. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:28:04 They walked up on the beach and just started massaging your feet guess what that is not my kind of vacation okay you know I think it's so nice you guys got a free massage normally I like to pay for mine it's just better quality so the chef is like hello hello, I'm Chef Raul. This is crispy fish. Did you get your union card for that one, buddy? Welcome to Jurassic Restaurant. So, Sandra's like, we have fun ideas playing for this trip.
Starting point is 00:28:38 And then Cameron's eyebrows raise. Like, what, it's considered fun. Hopefully not doldos. Yeah. And Carrie's like, nothing offensive what is considered fun? Hopefully not doldos. Yeah, and curious like nothing offensive. Don't worry Cameron. And she's like, um, you sure you won't be a fented camera because she seems to be offended by a lot of things. You know what I'm offended at?
Starting point is 00:28:54 You don't have one single friend who will tell you that you have another scene with I make up all over your goddamn eyes. Smirred. And you know what? Like, don't, don't do this whole thing. I hate when people do this. Oh, someone didn't get your bad joke and now they're the ones like,
Starting point is 00:29:12 oh, you're always offended, you're so sensitive. Like, no, you were the one who told you that like a stupid joke, okay? Didn't land, that's on you, that's not on, don't blame the audience, okay? Don't blame Cameron. You know what, like she stuck up. keep does keep dragging Cameron into all this shit and then Cameron falls for it every time she's like well there's a level of inappropriate
Starting point is 00:29:32 behavior and I'm just not the girl who goes to strip clubs like you guys do and as a mother why would you go to strip clubs like way to be an asshole like way to out asshole the asshole. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty. Yeah, Cameron's really good at like evening up the scoreboard. Cameron's such an idiot sometimes. It's like she's bringing up shit from a reunion of a season. She wasn't even on T yellow. Some people. But you know what I love about it though. This is what I like her because she doesn't just like say it in a nasty way. Well, at least I don't go to a strip club. She does it in that past rest of the way.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Like, well, at least I don't go to a strip club. You know, like, right? I mean, you guys just don't like your from TV. It's like what have you been sitting on your couch writing that once it's the last reunion? So then, stuff of course has, again, another cliched response. Like, why are you judging? Why are you judging?
Starting point is 00:30:27 I'm like, you're the ones who are being like, oh, like Cameron gets offended because she doesn't get our stupid joke. And Cameron herself was like, you're the ones who were judging me because I thought you were being inappropriate. And here's the thing, we all judge. Look at what we're doing right now.
Starting point is 00:30:41 We're judging everyone judges. So don't get all twisted. And like your, but your panties all twisted and not. not just because someone judges you when you are just as judge mental. Yeah, of course I stepped on he's like Is someone criticizing my mothering because I will take a lot, but I will not take that Damn good person like her as her kids put her into the pool again. Yeah, no kidding Could you please say this from that little slip of marble between your indoor pool and your giant fireplace? We've between the drowning hazard and the burning hazard
Starting point is 00:31:13 And they're too far from each other to do any saving. Yeah, so then Brandy of course Brandy of obviously has a major insecurity about her place in this cast and and and and Dallas because she is the one who is always bringing this up because she's like, if anyone accepts someone for who they are, it's me and I'm not the one who judges someone because I don't have a island-fucking-part zip code. I'm like, oh my god, why are you so sensitive about that, you know? I know, and Cameron's like, why is she saying zip's like why is she saying zip codes why is she saying zip codes yeah because she's like wondering she clearly knows that
Starting point is 00:31:52 Carrie is the one who told Brandy that Cameron made a joke about like maybe she feels a certain way because she's not in the zip code you know and the funny thing is you see the flashback Cameron says it it's like a caddy joke it's a full-on caddy joke but it's really just like a joke and Carrie the big gossip of the show is Carrie and she made it sound like camera was saying Some people are in the cool zip code some are not you know, and it wasn't really like that It was though because at that dinner she's like well You know people and Dallas blah blah blah and maybe at that dinner she's like, well, you know, people in Dallas blah,
Starting point is 00:32:26 blah, blah, and maybe it's because she's not from here. Yeah, but she, I know, I know you're saying, I'm not, I'm not totally letting her off the hook, but it wasn't like Cameron was saying it in like, she's shitty because she's from a different zip code. She's saying maybe she feels the sort of way because she's not in the zip code and like it's making her feel a certain sort of way, like maybe she has issues with it. And, but there was that layer of that in front of that. She is.
Starting point is 00:32:55 The better zip code for sure. Yeah, but I'm just saying it wasn't as, I don't know if it was as more literally as it was being sent as Brandy took it. Yeah, it was just caddy and rude. But Brandy also carry, like you say, the big gossip is carry, the worst as Brandy took it. Yeah, I was just caddy and rude. But Brandy also carry, like you say, the big got to miss, carry the worst is Brandy.
Starting point is 00:33:08 I mean, she just is getting caught left and right and good. And then she's acting all-indicent. So I guess my point is that Brandy's acting like, I don't care about my zip code. I don't care about my zip code. And yet she is the one who seems to have the biggest insecurity about it. She is the one who immediately goes to that place anytime there's some sort of talk about
Starting point is 00:33:27 anything. But, you know, like, oh, you're better than me. You're better than me. It's like that. It's that complex. Yeah. Well, that's always my favorite. That's always been my favorite thing about this show is the zip code fighting.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Like, you're all lame, okay? You can all equally be lame. Yeah. so Cameron. Well, go ahead. I was gonna say, because not Brandy is acting, it's charging Cameron with the thing that she's better than everyone else and everything in Cameron's. Like, I wasn't born with a silver spoon,
Starting point is 00:33:57 but I was born with manners. I'm just like imagining her like coming out of the womb and being like, thank you very much. That was a wonderful delivery. I'm born with manners She's like I didn't even poop my diapers. Okay, because that would have been rude Excuse me doctor. I'm gonna come through this birthing canal now. Thank you Doctor could you send in a nurse to set up my baby colonics so that my nanny doesn't have to deal? Could you tell me what your mailing address is because I'd like to send a thank you note. Thank you. Wow, wow
Starting point is 00:34:36 They're slapping her on the butt to make her spit out all the goo and she's like I'm not that kind of baby. I Will swallow the goo. Okay. Some dumb babies spit up. Smart babies speak up. Smart babies, wha? Brandy's like, do you not fart or burp? She's like, yes, but not poop.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Did you not hear my baby story? So drop it. She's like, well, but not poop. Did you not hear my baby story? It's like well a lot of people in Dallas. They say that you and Stephanie are disgusting. Okay. See I know people are thinking right now like Cameron sucks She's so awful and she's no better than Brandy and Stephanie and why are you defending? That's what I'm saying. But the reason why I defend is because that shit is funny. It's not it's not trying to be funny It's just funny and I'll just always take funny and Brandy has been funny too as much of as I've been ragging on Brandy
Starting point is 00:35:36 Pretty much all season. She said some funny ass shit But I'm sorry this camera stuff is it's too hilarious for me not to just like Give myself. Well, I'm loving Cameron. I think she's a little asshole. But I'm really loving her I love everybody on the show this year. I really do I think it's great. Yeah, she's speaking in asshole and Stephanie's like Why she's loving me with Brandy like that's rude Come on, which is an interesting comment to say because Stephanie is the one who who the beginning of the season wants to climb up Cameron's ass. Yes, and also wants to be lumped with Brandy. Like why are they lumping you into Brandy?
Starting point is 00:36:10 Maybe because you're putting dildos and people's verses together or making fart jokes. I don't know. I don't know Stephanie. Why would they do that? So Brandy goes, I don't give a fuck what people say. Dallas, like they say that you're supposed to put mascara on your eyelashes. What fucking idiots idiots you know I put my eyelashes my eyelashes make up where I WANT!
Starting point is 00:36:29 Maybe I was born with it? Maybe it's Maybeet's manners? I was born with manners? Maybe it's May I Belene? Okay? Maybe it's May I please help me? May I Belene? Maybe it's me I please have me Camera keeps doing that that really stupid defense of like I'm just trying to be honest It's not only me and she keeps doing that thing again where she like coctur head to the side and then person's her lips in a weird way like hmm and Lee Lee and is cutting her own throat with a butter knife really slowly
Starting point is 00:37:08 Lee and is like all right ladies I have an announcement I have an announcement everyone listen up listen up none of this Cameron brandy stuff I got engaged and they're like yay and Carrie burps really big and And she's like, there is no better conversation. Stop at the burping. Like you really are just winning right now, Carrie. But no one
Starting point is 00:37:32 gets mad at her for her birth. All the camera does give like a, I would judge that, but I'm really too busy right now. Okay. Just being honest. So Leon shows her ring. And they're all happy. Even cares. Like, oh my God, I'm so happy for you, which sort of gets back to her original point about the way people compliment you in the South, and it sounds like an insult. Yes. I'm so happy for your tiny ring. It won't hurt your finger. And Dan Dress just watching them.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I really love Dan Dress Hawkeyes. Yeah. Because this is the only season one. She's already yelled at people. She's already come on with a hobby lobby diamond glue strip on a gable. Like Danter isn't perfect for housewives. And she is watching all of them like I am watching every single reaction. And we both not roll our eyes at this.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Hey, Bob. She has them actually all pegged. All her analysis of everyone has been completely spot on. She is, I feel like she is sharp and she is. She's fucking killing it. And so Stephanie's like, well, see, this is the Bachelor at party. And Brandy goes, okay, well, you can be in charge of the Weiner Cameron and then like gives her a image.
Starting point is 00:38:40 And I thought that was kind of key. That was actually key. I like the show now. They're just like fighting and then talking it out and kind of getting over it Yeah, exactly. Is that weird? Why am I feeling so I actually thought that was a nice moment I was like see that's how you sort of handle it make a joke about it and be like see where Look part of friendship is finding The shit to give each other shit about and judge each other but in a fun way like you've got to stick up your ass
Starting point is 00:39:04 But I still will like you. Well, you make fart jokes, but I'll still have dinner with you as long as you don't touch me with that thing. Okay, I'm not that kind of girl. Not that innocent. So, Stephanie also has a good line here, she goes, he may, Rich may have a small penis, but he has big balls to marry Liam.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! And he does have big balls to marry Liam. And then the Dan just like toast and Dan just crying. Everybody's like, cheers, cheers. And then they're playing peanut sweets.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Like, did you notice that? I was like, did you do that? It's like, did you do, did you do, did you do? Or is it like Christmas time is here? No, no, it's like, did you do that? Oh my god, don't even. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do What is this view? That's the way Leon cries to when she cries she makes peanuts music. Rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich rich cast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin
Starting point is 00:40:56 and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:41:31 So the next morning. Day two. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. So this is one of the bravest housewives scenes we've ever seen. Yeah. And we've seen colonics, nipple removals or whatever replacements or whatever Girl this is too house-wise waking up with no makeup. Yeah, there and I appreciate that because a lot of times these house-hows fake it They like wake up like oh good morning and their face is like full like full anchor lady makeup
Starting point is 00:41:59 But here they're like fucker. We're not doing any makeup and you know what I thought they both look really good They did they actually look very pretty without doing any makeup and you know i thought they both look really good they did actually look very pretty with that make up i thought you know i don't know if you know that make up we've read it yeah well that i make up i mean texas those are some heavy lashes like that we get it but no she's like have the strongest leads out of it any state in the whole world okay i feel like d'andra's make up inspiration is mdana's erotica album cover
Starting point is 00:42:24 just like bleat like blown out white with like some darkness around the eyes in the whole world, okay? I feel like Deandra's makeup inspiration is Madonna's Arotica album cover, just like blown out white with like some darkness around the eyes. Well, I was very worried about this because they're laying down, you know? And I guess the way the shadows were hitting Liam's face, I was like, please tell me she does not have a clock shadow.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Because there was like a darkness. And I was like, please, please, please, I'm the bearded lady now. I'm back in business now, girls. But she didn't get in business and I made a grand. When she stood up and went away, I was like, oh, thank God. That worried me. It's a mimicry, not a real shadow.
Starting point is 00:42:56 So she just starts talking, she's like, why didn't you close the curtains? Does she have a beard? That's what I read. Why didn't you close the curtains? Oh my God, can you believe it? Can you believe it girls? I'm getting married I want my Moses laughter I'm like this. How do you just get up like this talking like that with that coffee? My brain wakes me up. Did you just do a Luan? Leanne doing Luan? By the way, I caught that Which I believe it girls.'m getting married me Leanne.
Starting point is 00:43:30 I'm a carnie I'm a carnie bride. This was me and you're gonna pay with a a banana shape ring. It's not an anise shape. Why can't I think of shapes in my head? I don't know but I'm just imagining that Le lands wedding invitation comes in a bunch of little tickets. I love imagining that Leanne's braiding wakes her up. Like how do you press news? It's just like stop self-harming. She's banging herself on the head every morning. She probably has Lily Tomlin stuck up in there. Oh, man. they're walking around having breakfast and stuff. She's like, look, it's a swim up bar. You ever been one of those? Turn your brain off. Leanne, I haven't had my coffee yet. Look, it's a pool. Don't you love their pools down your ocean. So they
Starting point is 00:44:18 go sit at this table for breakfast. And she's like, honestly, I was so scared. But I just don't, but they were not. And she said and the ladies were nice weren't they they were nice ladies weren't they so I guess but I just don't get that carry I'm so happy for you should even put my ring on her finger and and deandre is like oh Lee and just keep taking the bait it may so obvious just takes the bait over and over and over again. How was that bait? Someone's saying because the carry does like a fake nice thing and Leanne, it ticks off Leanne, and that's what it's supposed to do.
Starting point is 00:44:56 You know, that's why Kerry does that. And Leanne falls for it. She gets mad every single time. It's just like, whatever, let's just move on. She's just always writing the killer. So that they start playing, they start intercutting between her and Carrie because she's like, she does it.
Starting point is 00:45:11 I just don't get it. And then they start playing the wedding violin, which was so hilarious to me. What does it mean? I couldn't remember the composer. And then I don't know. I don't know. Phil Collins.
Starting point is 00:45:24 So then Lee Amphi carry to a brandy hurt Dr. murder people on his table She got me so worked up. I was literally like you want to come from me. I will literally choke you out I will strangle you to death. Okay, we got your pancake not you She you know what Carrie said she said that my doctor or that brandy's doctor Once it's such a bad doctor. He wants created a human being out of other body parts and wait for a lot in the bull to
Starting point is 00:46:00 Animate him and he came a lot that is no good dog. He's like no that's Dr. Frankenstein It wasn't Carrie that was Mary Shelley. Oh Okay, okay Okay, all right. I'm cooler now. Well, how does that explain the stitches on the back of her head? Okay, we calm down over there. So Nick keeps cutting back and damn it's like Just like Carrie be the nomadol, okay? This is my house and he is like but she's not exactly that's why you've had it happen since then the camera gets a close-up of we are just tapping her foot
Starting point is 00:46:31 furiously like literally joke her literally joke her the table shaking there's water shaking like geez hasn't Mexico gone through it now stop Re-shaking Mexico. Just let Mexico rest Jesus. Yes, please please Leanne So then meanwhile over at the spot not the spot but over in the room Stephanie is in this enormous bubble bath It's definitely gone awry. It's like the cast of blow deck.'ve been in there. And the Brandi gets in. And- And- Or a Crystal Mom. Yeah. They're just like having a bubble bath moment, which actually looked kind of fun. And it's Crosscut with Spa Day, which is with Cameron, Deandra, and Leanne. And Cameron is in the spa. She's loving, she's like, this is how a vacation should be in a spa.
Starting point is 00:47:22 You know, Brandi wants me to loosen up and have fun with her, but I'm sorry, but I don't soup that level. Guess what, loosens me up. A massage or hot water. Like, that's what loosens me up. Are we having fun? This is our kind of vacation. Right, girls, right? We're having like this, this is our kind. vacation, right girls, right? We're having like this, this is our kind, right girls. That's about to like, there's plunger hell of the end. Like I would rather kill myself, you know. It's like I'd rather be in a bubble bath to God damn stiffening and branding,
Starting point is 00:47:54 and listen to this shit. Yeah, because Cameron's like, I enjoy going to the spa or playing tennis, or going on nature walks and drawing each other's company. Am I like is this like you're okay, keep it profile camera? I enjoyed long walks on the beach as long as there's like with your feet, your flip flops off because otherwise your flip flops get dirty. And I'm not that kind of girl right girls.
Starting point is 00:48:23 I like I like long walks on the beach, but you have to be careful in case Leanne burried a dildo there. I know who found that dildo. Yeah, I hope it was retreating. That feels so bad for whoever just stepped on that dildo. Yeah, she probably left a glass bowl on the ground, too. They probably ended up cutting someone's foot.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Yeah, so back in the bubble bath, Brandy and Camer are just, you know, they're just saying how Cameron just doesn't get Brandy and, you know, maybe someday she will or whatever, which is like, that's like the classic thing that we all say about ourselves when you do something that annoys someone else, rather than take on responsibility,
Starting point is 00:49:03 be like, ooh, I kind of annoyed her It's like they just don't get me like some or or the classic which I'm glad she didn't go here because the classic would be She's jealous. Oh, yeah Yeah, I'm spread didn't get to that. I like when Stephanie's like um, I can't believe the the I got engaged And I can't even believe I can't believe the camp doesn't like you because you're like the most elegant woman And I can't even believe I can't believe the camera doesn't like you because you're like the most elegant woman It's like all these bubbles arise from the bathroom So that my thorough getting dressed for dinner and Cameron is showing her dress to Carrie and Carrie's got that look on her face like
Starting point is 00:49:41 She's so bored She's like do you not make me twerk again? Okay. I'm full-king on, bro. So I wear this dress. Look how it's like lace. It's like C-3, but there's something under it. So it's like lace and fun, but also conservative, which is okay to be conservative. Right, girls? Also, I wear so much Alexis. It's ridiculous. Like this is my idea of a good time. Right, Kerry? And Kerry is like, oh my God of a good time right Carrie curious like oh my god I'm literally
Starting point is 00:50:08 Having more fun picturing mark getting blow tops with the ramp up right now. This is like the worst Is it bad that when she said I wear so much Alexis? I was just thinking Alexis Couture. That's like finally someone bought her Couture Also, I like the one of the lian lian dressed up fully like one of those red, white and blue popsicles. Yes, she was wearing like the full on Mexico beach Mooh mooh thing. She's like thank God, I'm no longer stuck in my god damn spanks. Squirt me. So get some perfume. I will dress like good humor because I have a good humor. So they get in the dinner van and Brandy's like, we're going to eat an accave. It's going to be fine. I took my girls there once. There's bats. They
Starting point is 00:50:54 don't like high pitch noises. So Stephanie, I will be left alone. His camera's like, oh, so we're going to eat an a cave. Well, that's interesting. So we're gonna finally be where Brandi was raised. That's great. You know what, this restaurant puts the no in guano. So Cameron, so they're dinner. And of course, everyone's drinking heavily yet again. And Cameron's like whoa
Starting point is 00:51:26 One drink I am tipsy two you better watch out Three camera needs to go home and go to bed For I'm giving you the power, but I'm in control Five you have the power and the control, but I'm in control. Five, you have the power and the control, but I'm in control. Six, like we get a camera at five, I have to be counting.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Six, glitter dog food. Seven, you find out that I was just pretending to be stupid this whole time. Eight, who do we appreciate? Nine because seven eight nine ten. I still don't like dildos so eleven has a lot of letters. So they're ordering him Spanish like oh porra for four whatever she's like guacamole I just space time my daughter and learn that so they have nothing to say to each other I feel like I was just still counting over there 18 don't approve of 18 so I'm just gonna pretend that that number is not there
Starting point is 00:52:41 Okay 18 is rude So anyway they're all not there okay he's rude so anyway so they have nothing to say to each other unless they're wasted I would like to know you I would like an napkin not please because that's really drunk Cameron right there. I didn't say it poor favor Okay So they get their like third shot of tequila and finally they start loosening up and Carey's like poor favor. Oh, I know medical Spanish rapido Rapido
Starting point is 00:53:23 Pellanas, penicillino. Penicillino. The end goes, that means rapid. Yeah. Yeah. Think you want to say pronto. And then, Leon to a lingo, Leo Lingo on your I. Lingo is like repeat after me.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Poor, for, for. Just words, but they work quite well. See, guys, well, I learned work in Spanish. So, we have a guy, well, I know medical Spanish, networking Spanish, and shopping Spanish. And we have like, bitch, you got one, everything, don't you? Yeah, well, remember this, the person he knows everything is the last one embodied to the party.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Believe it. I love her for this. She's like, you know what they say about the person who has won of everything but it's also a no at all they get but they're the last one by it's the party and they're probably they're Uber it's probably surging so they have to wait extra long and then it's how they're gonna take it anyway and they pay a lot of money they show up their grounds you've been no one cares because they're like the party and the party's
Starting point is 00:54:20 already almost over they have one of everything but not a good Uber ride you know what I'm saying yes Like, yes, Leanne. You know what they say? Like, no, they don't. Uh, so, Fran, for they always say you should take lift instead. So, Fran, these like, let's play the truth or the lie game. We say three things that are the truth, you know, the typical, I want to start a fight at the table, but I can't. So I'll just like play a game to start a fight. Yeah. Uh, which we can skip because when it gets to, more so, none of them sound like
Starting point is 00:54:55 lies. Like, I can't find my head for attention. True. Yeah. Yeah. The other one was like, I went to Pierce my nipple. I don't know, maybe she's like, I put on a way to Magetallion dressing. That's like that. Like, you could not make this any more dull than I possibly. Like, it's already like an unoriginal game. And now you're too choosing a liar this. You put on a lot of time dressing.
Starting point is 00:55:17 And Carrie is so bored too. She's after she does her first one, Carrie's like, true. And the end goes, you gotta wait for three, Carrie. And so then Brandy gives her second one. And then Leanne goes, no way. And Carrie goes, I had to wait. So you have to wait. I was like, okay, here we go. Now we're fighting over turns. I love the hatred. And when she said that, Leanne's like, she got on that 67 false 68 false 16 I don't do 16 on 70 true Leon's like okay my turn one time I killed a hitchhacker because it looked at me funny two
Starting point is 00:55:59 One time I stabbed rich in the neck and then stapled it back together so he wouldn't die because I thought he'd left a garage door open Three one time Rich tried to go hitchhiking with man. Didn't work out. Guess what they're all true. It all the same's incident I just made myself go into a coughing fit So curious like you false game So Kerry is suddenly like a presidential debate She's like I would actually like to use my time now that I have the podium to address something with the Yan. I'd like to know your truth about why you said you wanted to strangle me and Leanne.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Leanne just looked at Brandon and just pointed her like, you. When I mean McCormick. She's like, I see you. But actually, Leanne's response is layer. She's like, yes, I did say that and honestly I wish I could say you're the only person out there and just drive but honestly I already told Pepe over there. I was gonna kill him Maybe it's even Pepe. I want more Mexican. I want more Mexican sauce. You're gonna die Pepe
Starting point is 00:57:00 Yeah, does he look scared? It's like well, we still don't have chips. So I think he ran away. But yes, I do think he looks scared. And where, where pray tell? Where was the flashback to Leanne saying she was going to murder Marie Lat from last season? Where was it? Where was our flashback? Because I didn't see it.
Starting point is 00:57:17 It's so good. And Kerry's like, yeah, it is stupid, Leanne. Why do you say shit like that, Sandra? It's like, I am already over this conversation, okay? Leon did not really mean to threaten your life. It's like, why don't you just say you threaten strangling and then you say, I don't, and then it's over. Yeah. I don't get it. I love how that works in your friends. They just scream. Leon and Deandra, they just get together and scream together.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Yeah, I love how the way Deandra deals the situation. You know, like, listen, just say, you know, she says, I didn't mean to threaten your life and just be over it. It's like, it's kind of a, like, if someone threatens to kill you and then says, oh, no, I didn't really mean to kill you. It's like, oh, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:58:01 I'll find now, you're trying to kill me. Yeah, and who cares? Like really it's Liam, you know I mean I'm like saying that because it is my that whole monologue when Carrie really sees that home monologue She's gonna be like whoa you really undersold this Randy. Yeah, I mean we got death threats for like five days after Leon appeared on our show And we're like, oh thank you, so I'm Leon is like, she's like, listen, I only threaten Carrie's life because she made fun of my doctor. She said that like, some days, he's really rude and some days, he's really charming and some days, he goes out and murders people and some days he's a gentleman's like, no, that, that one, now your doctor Jacqueline
Starting point is 00:58:40 is trying to. Well, I would not say that, okay, because I'd like that doctor. So I wouldn't say that. And if I did say that, I didn't say kill, but maybe I say died. We're like, I don't care. It's not just going off my back. Which is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:55 And then Brandy is like, actually, you do make fun of a lot of doctors. You do it like a lot. And he was like, she literally called me crying. She literally called me bawling into her. She's like, actually, I wasn't crying at all. Well, how am I supposed to tell you whisper every god damn thing? You were either crying or pooping. It's always one or the two with you. So then Gary now has this big old bitch face like this, like trying to smile, but she's the rage is coming through her eyes. She's like, so what are the truth, Brandy? What are the truths?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Tell me, what did I say? Yeah, and Brandy's like, well, I'm just telling you what I told her. She's like, okay, well then you're a liar, okay? And she's, are you calling me a liar? She's like, yeah, I'm calling you a liar. I'm saying if you said that, then you 100% made it up. Made it up, 100% Cameron.
Starting point is 00:59:51 The joy on Cameron's face is hilarious. She's like, 123. This is amazing. It was so good. I was just trying not to laugh. And Brandy is just giving Carrie that evil frog squint that she does, you know, which is like, well, Carrie is telling her, okay, you called me after, okay, you called me for advice.
Starting point is 01:00:17 You went through a list of 10 doctors and I was like, this one's good to your research, whatever, maybe killed somebody. I don't know. Who cares what I said? And Brandy's, whoever, Liam's like, well, you cried, or you called me upset. She goes, I did because I had already paid for that surgery. And I was so upset. She's like, I just said, do your research.
Starting point is 01:00:37 If you had already paid for the surgery, why are you calling with a list of 10 doctors for advice? Like someone's like, doesn't make any sense. Maybe she got it off of living social or something. I don't know. Like, should I? Yeah, it's a group on. A refund on my, on my group on. Yes, girl. That's a group on Mommy makeover right there. So, yeah, so Brandy is like, why would I make it up? She was like, oh, she's on the touch goes, do you think I made that up and carries like, yes. And they just cut to Leanne and be like, mm, mm. Yeah, she goes, I'd be smiling. She goes, do you see your calling? You think I made it up and carry goes, I do. And Leanne, I'm like, guess who else is going to say I do? Me!
Starting point is 01:01:16 Rich. I'm going to make it joyful when everyone else is crying, fighting. And that's where it left off. What a fun show. We're in Smurkin while Kerry and Brandy fight. That fucking finger. I have a gift of Leanne just making that finger. That's a great gift. Should put that on the screen. Maybe you already did.
Starting point is 01:01:36 I didn't check. No, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't do shit yet. So that was it for Dallas. Why don't we, why don't we change lanes a little bit and head over to our listener spotlight? Oh, it's a smart light. Sportlight! Um, listener spotlight is, um, for people who support the show on Patreon, on Patreon.com slash watch or crap ends at the listener spotlight level,
Starting point is 01:01:59 we turn over the podcasts for about two minutes to the listeners. So this week we have none other than I believe its her name is Lauren. She's gonna introduce herself to you. We're excited. Here we go. Hi Ronnie and Ben. My name's Lauren Thorsten. I live in Bellingham, Washington right up by Canada. I absolutely adore you both. I have my phone set to various crappens ringers and every time my Ronnie Giggle goes off somebody will be like what the fuck was that? I just got married to my long-time love who is the sweetest most crappens support of husband who just told me he's down for the San Francisco show so we're trying to do that. Oh hell yeah, the chillest cutest little baby girl Katie. Yes.
Starting point is 01:02:52 And I'm pregnant again. Congratulations. Yeah girl. Halfway between party girl and fun mom. I'm a hairdresser so I get to tell lots of people about you guys. Yes. Although I haven't been working since I had a bigresser so I get to tell lots of people about you guys. Yes. Although I haven't been working since I had a big fucking spine surgery.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Lazy! Oh, spine surgery on my back. Don't think you guys haven't gotten me through that bullshit. Hey! Thank you. Yeah. I think I'm roughly around Ben's age and when you guys bring up random old movies and TV, I'm fully on board, usually dying, laughing.
Starting point is 01:03:25 My dream housewife is Christie McNichol. Oh my god. I think it would be a great comeback story. I agree. And Beverly Hills needs a lesbian. Or Dynaman. I have been listening to you guys for I think three years now. I'm pretty sure I heard about you from Amy Phillips.
Starting point is 01:03:40 I watched Bravo because it's fucking hilarious. But I tell my friends Krapens is more than half the fun I'm so stupid hormonal right now that it seriously took me I think six attempts to listen to the LA show because I kept bursting into tears that I wasn't there My favorites are Vienna prom Southern charm ladies of London flipping out below dicks Top chef and of course house was everything I them all, but the best is New York. Yes. Then probably Beverly Hills. I really miss Chesher and Melbourne, but I have
Starting point is 01:04:15 Siri set to Australian in the meantime. I guess that's about it. Hopefully I will be joining you all in San Francisco. If not, then you guys need to come to Seattle. Or Vancouver. Okay, love you guys and never change, okay? Okay. Lauren, that was amazing. Well Seattle is definitely on our list. We have, there are a lot of cities we want to go to. I've started to make like a wish list for 2018.
Starting point is 01:04:41 You know, every time we talk about a new city that we've been invited to, whatever, everyone's like, come to my city, we are planning on it. It sounds vague, whatever city you're in, we're planning on it. My dream, we don't know if it's feasible, but my dream, I would love to do like a city,
Starting point is 01:05:00 one city per month, all next year. I don't know if we can do it. That would be good. We're getting close, we're trying to plan like one every month or two months. You know, if we could do like a like a Boston, New York, DC, Atlanta, Miami, Dallas, Lake Seattle, San Francisco, we Detroit, Chicago again, the situation. And that's like one of those every month. I would be thrilled So oh, hey, oh, yeah, I'm loving this. So we're we're work like it just because if you see a pole about Dallas or see a pole about DC or something like that
Starting point is 01:05:34 It doesn't mean that we're not looking at the other cities all the cities are on our radar. So you know Patience plays hey guys guess what city we're looking at? America! Yeah America. It's called America. This beautiful city called America is built on rock and roll. Hell yes everybody listen to this it's extremely important. We laugh on this show to escape the real world. America has been, the world has been going through some real shit lately. It's like a shit sandwich every week, a different flavor. Yeah, take care of yourselves. We are not being shallow idiots by just ignoring it.
Starting point is 01:06:15 Okay, we're ignoring it because we figure we have to play for. Yeah, no one wants us, you know, no one needs our opinion about all the tragedies. Yeah, because guess what? I was like this close to turning full deandrasimans Yeah, no one wants us, you know, no one needs our opinion about all the tragedy. Yeah, because guess what? I was like this close to turning full de-Andrasimans on America at the top of this podcast. I was gonna, I was gonna monologue and I don't think we need that from you guys.
Starting point is 01:06:34 That's what I'm just saying. I'm going to get for the end. I just want to say thank you guys for being with us. Thank you for all you give us both, you know, just listening, all the kind of support and all your friend support too. When we meet, we're all the same, you know, we're all kind of family-ish, which is so lame to say, but it's kind of true. Just thank you, and take care of yourselves out there.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Yeah, exactly. Take care of yourselves, and don't be afraid, if you don't like the way things are in this world, don't be afraid to take a little bit of action too. I'll just leave it at the end. Hey, and like Jerry Springer used to say, I think it was him, he didn't use to say, now go take care of yourselves and each other. I don't know if he said that, but maybe he said that.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Someone said that, and I don't remember he said it, but God damn it, it would be fitting if it was like one of the most horrible people ever at Jerry Springer. But still, that's true. Good take care of yourselves. And to each other. Okay, guys.
Starting point is 01:07:28 Yeah, thanks, guys. We will talk to you on Yana, oh, for the season premiere of Real House, on New Jersey, just with the world needs. Yes, that's right. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Love you guys. Bye. Bye. on Slash Survey.

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