Watch What Crappens - RHOD: My So-Called Mid-Life Crisis — Live from Indianapolis

Episode Date: November 16, 2019

The "The Real Housewives of Dallas" is on the verge of heading to Thailand... but first: a filler episode where Travis has a midlife crisis birthday bash and Kameron learns archery. Maybe not the most thrilling plot description ever, but we certainly have fun with it at our live show in Indianapolis. It's all part of #BenRonCon weekend. Plus, several of our favorites call in from BravoCon. Dream come true. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay. Kristi Wawardy-Dawardy.

Jamie, she has no last namey. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trot. Cassie Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Nobody sucks at us like Amy Tsukurellis. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. Aaron McNickolas. She don't miss no trickle-ists. Megan the Slayer Taylor.

Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang. He makes us squee-r-ch-d.

Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. god. I love that banana Anderson higher than high res. It's Lauren Perez Hava Niggila Weber Lisa Walland now that's what I call Wallentainment the Bay Area Betches Betches and our super premium Patreon subscribers Give them hell miss Noel always ready for Nicole pass. One day your Rachel's in. And the next day, you're out. She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn, and Ann. Nancy C. Centicisto.

We grant the grant master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible, edible Matthew sisters. And... Mina Kuchikuchi. Chairman out of a cabinet Anthony! Incredible edible Matthews sisters. And... Mina Kuchiku-chiku-chiii! Watch what crap is!

Watch what crap is! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Watch what crap is! Who cares what crap is! I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hello Indianapolis Why are you guys thank you? What a welcome Wow

I'm glad to start off by thanking you for not stopping me in the market I apologize Hello Indianapolis welcome to Ben Rongrove! Whoa, wow, wow! What a weekend to be doing crap in shows, am I right? This is so exciting. Aside from the fact that it's our first time being an Indianapolis. What a beautiful airport. Seriously, oh my God.

I don't know if you fuckers go eat after 9 p.m. but I got your 9 p.m. last night and everything was closed. So it's like, I know people are hungry in all parts of the country at this time. Airports. But what a gorgeous airport. It's just the heart of racing. You're into an apple. I know. But I'm from India. I'm not from India, I'm from Texas, but my mother, my, my, my, my, I'm just making up for that. I'm from Minneapolis. This is like hearing myself on voice mail because I can hear myself echoing.

It's like when you hear your own voice mail and you're like, God, I'm such a faggot burrito shut up. I can hear myself. But anyway, my papa and my mother were both born in Salem, Indiana, which do any of you know where that is? I've asked like 10 people and they're like, where? So we looked it up on Wikipedia, it's like 6,000 people. But as a kid, I was so excited to come from Salem

because that's where they burned witches. And I was like, my people! Like I wanted to have protests for the witches. And my mom was like, idiot. That's Salem, Massachusetts. And I was like, oh, I don't know Salem, Indiana, then I don't know them. But then I finally went there and they had a grand ease.

And I went into the grand ease. And I was like, these are all my people after all. Yeah. That was a good cake. I was very excited because we saw the World Head Corders for the Stake and Shake, which is in downtown Indianapolis. But really, the thing that we are really so excited about

is that while we are really so excited about is that while we are all gathered here tonight, we realize you had many opera options, you could have seen Luke Combs performing, you could have gone to some sort of high school band competition, because they're all in our hotel by the way. And can I tell you, what a group of wonderful children. They're so polite, and they don't keep us up at night. But instead, you're here. But of course, you also could have been a bravo con,

which is happening at this moment. No, no, no, no, don't do moment. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we are really excited we've been already hearing all sorts of cool things coming out of BravoCon First of all we heard that Miss Patricia Name dropped us at a panel today and there were Name drop. I'm so not just but that was really cool. Yeah, and just three minutes ago We were tagged and opposed by none other Then Miss Countess Luendela Seps and then opposed by none other than Miss Countess Luendola Seps.

So we feel like we're all there at Bravo Con, too. This is an extension of it. We are friends who are texting us today like, aren't you sad you're not at Bravo Con? It's just Tamra. Tamra was texting us all day. I was like, how bad. Listen, we are included in Bravo the same way we always are.

We stand on the sidelines and make fun of those motherfuckers. And we are going to continue to do that all week and long. And just remember the first two letters of Bravo are B and R. So you can't have Bravo without B and RR, don't I? Otherwise it's just avo. But we actually do have some friends who are at BravoCon and we ask them to like pull some strings and set up like a microphone and we're hoping that some bravo liberties will step up to the microphone and join us for the show tonight.

So we will hopefully that will happen. Hopefully. Hopefully. But I'm acting like I'm totally fine with it. But old Anne, I've been talking like this in the voice of a betrayed woman who's never been more hurt in her life. Like all day. Huh.

Like, do you have any mac and cheese, or ball ball? Ha, ha, ha. It's right over there, weirdo. Oh, let's say we have this unique idea called specials. Do you have that, Obam-Bam? I want to take macaroni. No, no, make it to macaroni shells. And add some vodka.

No, that's not going to work. Stake. No, ma'am. Cheese macaroni and cheese. We're going to change the world, Obambe. Obambe, Obambe, what a lovely local restaurant. You see, I always say I'll put the local goods and I come out. I'm like, this is Humbopalm! Excuse me, I'm...

Then I was like, bye, see you at the hotel. Okay, today we're going to be recapping... Re-wraps, listen to me, I'm sorry, I'll stop. Today we're recapping the real house, so I was a Dallas. So, welcome to Watcher Crapins, a podcast by all that crap on Bravo. We just love to watch. We'll just keep announcing it over and over. We'll announce it.

I want to see RuPaul the other day and Austin, the world tour of RuPaul, so good, by the way. I don't even watch that show, and I was like, that's just amazing. Like, I just discovered drag things for the first time. I was like, wow. And they do like 10 openings and 30 closings. And my friends kept getting up to leave, and I was like, girl, that was just the first bow.

They're like, after the fifth bow, they got up again. I was like, that is just the fifth bow. It's like an hour of bows, you know. It's like starting it off. Oh my God. I think someone stepped up to our microphones from BravoCon. Oh my God, who is it here? Oh my God.

Whoa, is this thing on? Romona. Wow, Romona, it's so great to hear from you. I didn't even know you have our number Well, I don't have your number, but I saw this microphone and I thought I should promote my new brand of Lifestyle living called Ramona's brand of lifestyle living okay That's in Kredobari are you calling us from BravoCon right now? Well, actually, I haven't gone to BravoCon yet because I'm speaking at the UN about women who support women. Okay?

That is amazing. You're at the who the fuck let you into the UN. Girl, don't we have enough problems in this world Have you read the names from them? Damn well, I sent a very firm letter to the office of utros butros galley Turns out he's dead, okay Stay sent it back to me and I was like who are you you send a letter back to me, okay? So I walked down there and I was like excuse me. I'm supposed to be on the list. Ramona singer, but you know what? If you have me down as every singer, that's okay because we look like sisters.

They let me in. Wow Ramona, who are you most excited to see a bravo crime? Well, the person that I'm most excited to see is my father's best friend, Geraldine Pauzen Smith. Wow. It's funny, this bravo con, it reminds me of this one time, I was a little girl. I went to a store.

And there was cash registers, and I was like, whoa, this is very fast. I put my hand on the conveyor belt. And there was cash registers and I was like, whoa. This is very fast. I put my hand on the conveyor belt and I almost got caught. And Josie Parsmith laughed at me and said, your dumb. And I said, no, not dumb. I just didn't know. And to this day I've never been able to go to a supermarket.

Where was the question again? All right, Ramona never been able to go to a supermarket. What was the question again? All right, Ruhmone, we got to go, but congratulations on politics and stuff. You have to work in other women, okay? Wow, wow, wow, thanks to Colin babe. That was so nice of her. That was so nice of her. That was also really nice of the UN. By the way, that was no joke.

She spoke at the UN today. Of course, did I bring my phone? So she really did go to the UN. I was like, this has to be a joke, right? So she says on her Instagram, which I saved. And of course, I had all that time listening to Ramon on the phone. I didn't even pull it out.

But here it is. It's her, of course, posing all that time listening to Ramon on the phone. I didn't even pull it out But here it is It's her of course posing in front of the UN But instead of like wearing a boob dress. She's post sideways like standing sideways like this so she's very serious And says so excited to be sneaking wait where to go Fools So excited to be speaking state at the United Nations for Women's Entrepreneurship Day. Then I'm off the hashtag Bravo Conte. You know someone got fired for this, isn't you?

You're putting us in the same fucking post as a Bravo conference. And then she played hashtag WED 2019 Summit. So I was like, oh, I'm going to click and I clicked and it was like no post-Ci. Fucking Ramona. What a driver. They give the keeps on giving. Anyway, Dallas. Oh, well, you know someone else gave a speech today at the UN, should we tell them who? Who? Not to be abstaged by Ramona at the UN today. Durantamentally herself, Jota.

Oh, that's actually true. And it was actually amazing because we got audio of this speech. Yeah, it was beautiful. So I know that we're not getting to this show yet, but I really thought it was time to bring some emotions into this spin. This is, listen to you, the audio is a little, it's not a great recording, but this is real life. This is actually really deriving up at the UN, the latest thing.

Okay? Okay. To the last things I'm so happy that you know, I am part of this, and then you put a lot of time in your face. You know, at a moment in time, then a moment happens. Everyone's a while, you know, so you just know what it's like. And it's right. For the rest of the night.

Mmm. Powerful. Powerful, powerful, powerful. So those of you at home look out the window for the nuclear weapons about to drop on this country. Good. God only knows what the fuck that meant, Durinda. Okay, now for the real Housewives of Dallas. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you.

We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you.

We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. We have a lot of good news for you. Because you know I grew up loving me some Susan powder as a fat kid fat adults Yeah, I'll be a fat old person. I'll be a fat dead person. I love me some Susan powder just going So that's a lady who owns Yeah, Deandra is at a place called Lula Bees with Stephanie and So you know just in case you in case you were not up on it, Travis is turning 50 and he's going to be having a birthday party that the theme is midlife crisis, which is hilarious. I'm like, that's like every day. So, Deandra shows up in this like crazy white top with like patchy, gaudy flowers all

over it. And she's like I am attending a midlife crisis mother party mother like maybe a fashion crisis I don't know what's going on who's rough you're married to Jeremy yeah every day of your life is the midlife crisis so I'm attending a pretty Jessica party. I'm in above Deandra's head there is a sign that said all sales final and I was like poor Dan, but I can't catch a break No one is like to go to a damn party and have to buy a dress for some rich ladies party take that shit back No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no walked in. Ma, Lulebi, she's like, you've never been in here before in my life. Steve Kimbles, there, just like. Mm-hmm.

Lulebi, what have you done for me lately? What have you done for me lately, Lulebi? So then we got to lunch with Brandy and Leanne. Brandy's like you're married. Congratulations. You're finally actually a real housewife. Oh, fuck you! Yeah, boo. So, I brought you a gift. It says, recharging your awesomeness. It's a t-shirt.

And Leanne's like it's a t-shirt which I got a t-shirt it says recharging your awesomeness it just said that it's so you can recharge your awesomeness so then Cameron will not be able to attend Travis' 50th birthday. Mmm. Trash. No, just kidding. Just kidding. I just had to. Ho. Ho.

Ho. Ho. Trash. I mean, she said it effing in my face. Mmm. in my face. So Stephanie is talking to Deandra back at the moderate place. And second. Cameron can't come to my husband's birthday party because her daughter has a dancer side

host to help me on to the very fine. And she's like wow that task of a meal, your mother. Because it's obvious that Cameron is just getting back at her for using the child excuse from last week. Yes. I don't even have a child. I use that excuse. Yeah.

I'm always going to my child's dance recital all the time. People who don't know me think I'm poisoning my child at home, because I use that shit for everything. It's my food, ready, my child is sick. We moved us along. I have a dance recital to go to. So now, for some reason, it's like 6 p.m. as if we're on a timeline for some reason.

We have 6 p.m. They keep announcing the whole show. Every scene is like 6, 18 p.m. I was like, is this how far we've fallen Dallas? Come on. I know. And all that happens is that Brian and Brandy show up in an Uber to pick up Stephanie and Travis. Like, 6.03 PM is getting in.

He said, Vanderpump is now rating the timeline. Oh! Brian is one of those husbands. He's seen the reaction that he's gotten on the internet, which is basically like, fuck you, you're a horrible human being. So this year he's showing up and just doing like kind of half-ass smiles, but it's kind of working like, I think he's decent, like I've forgotten everything. I'm like, you're nice now, you know?

But this is so Brian to say, he sees Stephanie's kid and he goes, I think this is what it is. What did he get braces? I remember that down too. I was like, that is the creepiest thing you could ever say from a car. Because hey kid, he got braces. What's it? And he has this face like he's just, he always has kind of a frown on his

face. He's like, well, at least one of them got it braces. That is is. So so now they go they're going on a double date to a surprise location and the guys are super nervous because they're like, oh you're taking us to a gay bar, taking us to a gay bar, is it going to be the roundup? Which you know the thing is that like we've sort of forgotten that, Travis and Brian, like go away to a cabin once a year, you know? So like they're like, round up, no. Mm. I know.

They're afraid they have to walk into the round up where everybody's going to be like, no! No! Yes! Yes! Yeah! Yeah! Oh.

I love all the gay panic on this show. It's my favorite. Welcome to Texas. Yeah, but we also invented Japs, I think. So that's true. He's like, yeah, obviously we're going to a gay bar up here. I mean, I see a duper up there in Japs. He's definitely like, yeah, you know, he's like really stressed out about his dad because like his dad gets sick and then like he does some time and then like we don't really

know where he is but like I don't know he goes over there a couple times here and just doesn't come back. He's back with like some kind of weird cold. I really understand. I don't know. He likes it. He's cheating on you. He's cheating on you.

Yeah, you'd be while you want. Welcome to my Psychic Friends Network. Call me into the ears, ladies. That is horrible. I know, thank you. I know, I like Travis now. I love a warm blanket of booing. Every colony knows it's time for commercial break. They're just ads, but they work. Wow, well. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry

that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So they're not going to a gay bar, but they're going to something close, they're going to medieval times.

And by the way, who gave us these crowns? Oh, yes, thank you. Thank you, girl. Well, we should have figured this other girl with the Burger King crown. So, who incidents? You have one of these crowns, dude girl. Thank you. Yeah. So we got some mid-eval times burger. Yeah. Which actually like you're mixing two of equal classes there. Mid-eval times has always terrified me just as a concept. Yeah. Like who wants to go back to that time? I said, it's fun. There's like who ball over the place? People get me headed. Yeah.

What a disgusting time period to go back. You know where I want to go back to 2019. That's not fun. There's like poop all over the place. People get in the head. What a disgusting time period to go back. You can go back to 2019. Love the air conditioning. You can tell Siri what to do for your ass. I'm really glad you're taking this stance about the medieval era. Yeah. Fuck that.

Yeah. It's about time. I watched the last kingdom and that movie where King Henry killed his wife. Actually, I've watched every iteration of that story where King Henry's the 8th. Ann Bolin. Yes, Ann Bolin. Sorry, I was like a person. Ann Bolin would have been a fan of you.

You know what, actually the real housewives would have been amazing in medieval times because like when someone got kicked off the show, they would literally just get killed. It was like, you know the Ann Belin was like the Leanne Lockin of like 1333. They're like, you know what? She's crazy. Let's just decapitate her, you know? That's how to refresh a cast. So Ann, we can't help but notice, you have lost your head. Do you want to talk? Oh, you're dead. You're dead. Okay

I As a winch on the streets of London went on the streets of London. We had headwitches never shut up. Like how many times we have to be headed. We have chopped your head into mine different pieces right over the kingdom and you still bitching at us. My head has been through a rougher top than your head. I tried to join the seminary and they said no you have to have a head and I said why So they walk in medieval times So they walk into medieval time Stephanie is like so they put the medieval times and of course I think have been like, oh cool, like that's fine, like it's silly. He would not say anything, he'd be positive.

You know what happened if I ever told Ben, hey Ben, you want to go to medieval times? I would say, just be cool. Watch. He would just dump me right away, just be called watch. Listen, watch Ben. I love me some Dave and Busters, okay. Well, that's different, that's modern, you know. They're not like, let's celebrate beheadings

and horrible treatment of women and gays. I like large drumsticks, and I like crowns, so there. But the point is this, Brian is like, and they're like wondering where Brooklyn gets it from, just look at Brian, everything in this scene is him being like It's like hey, maybe old times guy what you get braces So then Stephanie's in the back seat and she is so amused by it. She's like

She sound like a civil chair. We are not even exaggerating. We know we're two of the most obnoxious fucking people. I mean I plan it. I mean I just don't know why we weren't invited to BravoCon. That's not we were really done all the time. We had been like medieval time. It's like mad for no reason. So then they finally get there and the guy, okay, this is why hate places like medieval

times, the actors, okay, I can't with you. Just shut the guys like, hello ladies and ladies. So what accent are you even? Where are you? Where do you think you are right now? Oh, he's like, he's like, hey, words and ladies. Please welcome to our Bonjour. I risked my own day. Let me consult the magic. Me, by the way, he's like holding like an iPad. I'm supposed to think it's like medieval times. Hahaha. Hahaha.

It's like intro of the tune, mi-pisha! It's like a, you're like Doree Kemsley, okay? Like the, he was making shit up. BAM! Yeah! Just like that, we have someone else. All right, hello, this is Indianapolis to BravoCon, who is there?

Hello, I like the speed with Benondlegly. This is Ben, is this Mr. Rit Kemsley? It's the Rit Kemsley. Oh, how's BravoCon treating you? What a deal, let me tell you, last time treating you? What a deal, Italy! Last time I was called a con, they took my house and froze me. Bink again, Bink. Bink, Bink. Have you been able to speak on any panels?

Yes, I've spoken on many panels. The first was hosted by the Aspuscaga, the Especia. When you have trouble with the dog, you blame a frightened, have a nanny, drive them corn scourgey to be put down. So I take it, people have been probably asking you a lot about Lucy Lucy Appleduce. Here's what to say, she's gone to a better place. Mainly in interns house for the Savannah pump. Have you been able to promote Beverly Beach at all?

Beverly Beach! Listen everybody's spelled it wrong I had to see the trademark office. It's been bullied! It's really taken off. You know there's actually a place now in Los Angeles that they've turned into a beach Really what's the place called Have you been able to get it and any stores at the very least I've gotten into many stores Biling to something, Sentomani, God, by a lane to me. Oh, and so have you met any other bravo stars that have gotten you really excited?

Listen here, you have met here. I've met a Persian man who tried to put gold in me here. And I said, you want me to serialab? I invented that as a reunion. That's so Persian, are you talking about me? Hi. Here he is. This is Reza.

You may know me from my show, Shaz Sunsir. Wow, Reza, wait a minute. I'm a dog and Dereet's phone. That's work. Well, why people be like, I'm gonna talk all the time. And Persians be like, it's my time now, bitch Bitch gotta get on the microphone, am I right? Hey, it's me, Tommy, what the fuck are you doing?

So this motherfucker came up with a bat and was like, Bitch, I'm gonna swing at you and I was like, Motherfucker, I'm gonna stand up comedian now, bitch, I'm gonna swing at you. And I was like, motherfucker, I'm gonna stand up comedian now, bitch. Ha ha. I got thrown in jail for a couple of days, but it was worth it, you motherfucker. You can let that private information about MJ having a baby in the hospital. No one ever knew that before you said something. Listen, I'd love to keep talking with you, Tommy, but I have a special panel that I'm doing in the basement of a TGI F's.

See you later! Wow. Wow. Two for one. Two for one. Wow. I know I can't believe it. Two of the most obnoxious people we've ever talked about

in the same minute So the guy who's working at this medieval time is like Will a cold Domenny Lombopina about to the greatest sister is just a story. Yeah Is it gonna bad to the green It's just a dream. Yeah. It's a dream. It's a dream.

It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream.

It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream.

It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. the same way Deandre got her job with the Republican party back in the day. She went to Medieval Times. I was like trying to think of like a Mama D sort of joke to that, but I was like, I think it kind of just stands on it on its own. So anyway, although it would be funny if that's how Mama do you give Deandra the company?

Alright Deandra, if you really want this company that is very solvent, then you have to get underneath and I will not you. By the power vested in the green miracle, you want this company, you're going to win it and Jav's tiny. Yeah. Come at me. This wig is also a helmet. I know Mama Bee just keeps winning medieval times. So that's Mama Bear. She's got a helmet wig. Power me, Mama helmet.

So Travis gets knighted, which is cute. And then Brian gets knighted and he's like, mother. So they're all the staff members are like, welcome to Neve Times. But then they sit down at their table and his waiter comes by and's like, I don't know how I got your filth and see you. Mike, dude, you're at Medieval Times.

Like give it a try. At least try. No, because you act as snotty as you get tips. You know what I mean? Like as a waiter, like if you're on a nice restaurant, like usually, I'm not gonna say No, because you act as snotty as you get tips. You know what I mean? Like as a waiter. Like if you're in a nice restaurant, usually I'm not going to say you're going to be nice for if you work in a nice restaurant because we all know they're dicks.

But like a medieval timeswitter, you know people coming in there with their knife. It's like do you have a changing table at this actual table I'm sitting at? Like you know they hit tip in you. You know they're not. And you can tell by this waiter, because he's like, this is chicken. Eat your chicken. All right, it's on the bones.

They went to the middle of the old times. That's actually also exactly how I would be if I were a waiter at the evil times. Not me, I'd be like, hi! How are you? How are you, at least Serrina? How are you? Welcome are you, at least Serrina? He told you! Welcome to Neveltimes!

I'll take any gig. I'm like, hey, how's everybody doing? I'm on a walk away and I'm like, God, fitness. So they're sitting there, they get their chicken and then Brian's sitting on the edge and he's just like, Because Brian didn't get silverware. So he's like, well, I guess I'm not gonna eat that. I'm not gonna silverware.

I don't know if we see the silverware and it's this little plastic fork, so you tear open from the plastic. It's like the ones that come with the plastic meal prep boxes. So, brand-y answer to our cutting is food. I'm like, or you could just wave down a waiter like any adult would and ask for a fork and I have you. I got so triggered. I got so triggered by the utensil situation.

And it's like an ability to fix it for himself. I know, but I love that he's drawing his lineman class. It's like the plastic silverware is fine. Just, you know, get it to me. So, um, so then this whole show begins and it's super fun. There's like, there's like, there's like, sparrows. Brandy parts. Brandy parts. I just say that. Brandy parts. Okay. With some people like that. Yeah. I liked it. I don't like that. I don't like to talk about poop, the farts, or that's what Brandy talks. She's like the poop, she's like the poop housewife. That's her thing. Like, I poop, I farted. Oh, by the way, I listened to their podcasts. I was like, what's such dicks, you know, I should listen to their actual podcast.

So I did. Is that, it's like, you know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know that. Notice the laugh that you're getting, by the way. You're right. People like farts. People like farts. This world has powered my farts. Thank you. We all do it. So either way, FN. So it's just that FN in my face.

So this show begins. I've never been to medieval times, but it looks fun. And so there's lights happening and fire. And there's like, oh, this and that. And horses are running. It's like, it's like a whole exciting thing. And then it cuts to Stephanie. It's going to Travis.

So have you heard from your dad? As your dad still said. Is he okay? Do we think he's dead? He's okay, but. Is he dead? He's okay. Happy birthday, by the way. I hope you're enjoying it.

He is your life. But you're dead. Of course he's fine. Of course he is. Do you feel sad? Do you want to talk about it? Do you think he's bleeding out of his eyes? Sometimes I feel like people walk all over me.

I'm just sad. Is he dead? Is he dead? Is he dead? He's like, oh. You have to try it. I just can't do it when it's like the next day and we see this like very fun like tennis montage, it's like, and-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- I got off to, but I used it this season. You know that every week is like, um, can we use my tennis montage?

That's been a long time, Mom. They're like, no, Charles. There's no tennis this episode. How about this week? No, Charles. How about this week? Fine. Just put it with the archery.

Thank you. They finally that means my tennis montage before an archery scene. Guys, just please remember to respond to my Facebook invite because we're having a little bit of a launch party for my tennis montage. It's your end tonight. Thanks. Charles. So here we are at Audrey.

So it's a camera scene. So Cameron wants to talk to the artistry place like this. Hi. Hi. Fun. But isn't that fun? It's Audrey. Hi.

This is this, hey, Hilton. Mommy wants to teach you something. Archery is a sport that you learn so you can shoot bows and arrows at people who are trash. Hi, we are curious if we could try some archery today. But we were like, sure. It's like, um, Houghton's going away for camp. And most of the Texas camps offer archery. Yeah, there's so much archery.

But my big question is, do they have talk of solids here too? I just say it by look really cool for a home. I was like why are you trying to look cool your daughter is named Hilton Like literally everyone is cooler than your daughter. She's named after a hotel. Yeah So Cameron, sorry, I'm like name shaving a child. I'm sorry Hilton if you're listening to this why you play tennis archery at your private school Hilton is the smartest person on this show. Let's not fool ourselves I still think Hilton is court in a wig. I will not I don't believe it It's like it's that on Atlanta, but she said, Eva said Dennis is,

or Dennis's baby is Dennis in a wig, which is so rude. But this girl really is a little court. Which is cute. And the best part, and a good way. And a good way. So Cameron, for some reason, Cameron is trying to impress her daughter

with archery in advance if we're going off to camp. Now, you don't impress your daughter. You impress upon your child. Do you know what I mean? You don't impress them. You hit that. You impress your hands onto their butt until they appreciate what you do for them. Do you understand? Yeah. Pain. My Uber driver last night was talking about our kids and how they're like going to med school and ones of the very active in theater. And I was like, wow, it sounds like you really,

like you really got your kids in order. She goes, well, the bell has power. I was like, what does that mean? She goes, it means I whoop their asses. So the bell has power. I don't condone that. I mean, it happened to me and look where I am. It's a good idea. That's right, you're the same.

In theapolis. So anyway, sorry. If this was a show my mother was actually being the bad guy, that's right you fucking did. And I don't really want a fucking thing. I'm so sorry by the way people, I have no idea how loud this is. Like I'm terrifying myself on how you're feeling. So there's this archery instructor, he's like the Skada Skada.

He's like, how does that look like this? Oh, did he look on his mood? Which I'm sorry, it's all Skalans right now. Immediately. You're the minimal times guy, you're still there. I know. Every minimum wage worker today is going to be that voice. Yeah. We're just simplifying.

We're pairing it down today. So Cameron's like, I'm not an athletic person. No. I mean, I'm really good Pilates. And I'm really good at like doing laps with the global expo. But I'm not good at spurs. You don't say. So the guy's like, all right, he doesn't have it goes.

You put out your arms. You blew them in. You touched your nails. Then you let go. Now let go. Don't shoot me and camp goes No one shoot me So about court and her cat or like So of course so let me see so court is like he guys though he has these like doing this

He's got the boni always like he's like and Hilton's like It's like Hunger Games and then Cameron's like, uh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah. And courts like like aiming at the bullseye he's like, awww. So, this is the nicest town ever and I'm being more of a bitch than ever. I don't know what it is. I think that's your soul, man. It's Gravo Con Weekend. Gravo Con Weekend. Gravo Con Weekend.

I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody.

I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody.

I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. I'm not gonna talk with everybody. This violin is making a talker's camera. That'd be great. So, quartz like, hey, honey, there's a purse on the wall. Got the purse and the hill and it's like, yeah, mommy, there's a purse for you. She's like, hmm. Helton goes, mommy, the purse is here for you. Which is like this. This is the sweetest we've ever seen, Helton goes mommy the person is here for you which is like the sweet this is the sweetest we've ever seen Helton

So then of course camera and it's like oh my god. I can do it now Yeah Suddenly she becomes doing it like really well well because court is like well if you had to put someone's face up there to get Better at better Or it is like, well, if you had to put someone's face up there to get better at him, who would have been... I do not do that. I do not do that. I do not do.

I do not. I would never do Stephanie. Never do it, but Stephanie. I'm not going to say that I would shoot Stephanie in space with a row. But yes, I'm still annoyed that she didn't come to last land, shower last minute, so I'm not going to go to her. Has the sport day part? Mm.

I can't go to the birthday party because he'll not have to play or settle. And I can't miss play. I don't think surface friends go to their friends has been party so I was like yes they do. That's when you like like cross off the list like okay I did I socialized with you and I'll see you in nine months. I would much yes I would much prefer to go to my surface going to my surface friends party with Tupperware girl.

Like if I don't give a fuck what you think about me, I'm taking everything from your goddamn party, huh? Also with Tupperware, some plastic bags, some paper bags, just in case anyone gets me shit for showing up with plastic bags. You never know what sort of taco salads they'll have there. I'll rope that shit onto the back of my vest, but I'll leave your party with a tie. The fucking pile is shit like this big.

So yeah, like you were saying, all of a sudden, Cameron becomes really good at archery and starts hitting the target and he's like balloons and other swinging balls and everything. And suddenly she's like hitting, she's like, boom, it's like a mouse is dead in the corner. What the fuck? Where did you come from?

I heard Purse, said, I'm like, Kertner's over-drawn. So it's like this is not the way to bond with your daughter because now her daughter hates her because her daughter was good at one thing, you know? It's gone now. That's a long now. She's like, great job, mommy. Bulls are in.

So then we go over to truly the most compelling person on Bravo. Carrie. Oh, Jordy. Also known as no no, lady no no. No no. Carrie does not talk like that at all. Also known as no no lady no no no Carried the smart talk like that at all. No, okay, like I know that but it's still fun doing that And her daughter Olivia's like

Why do you just tell many how many fatagian a device? Devin, that close air fucking die hate you, how you die. And I make a necklace dedicated to you called Dying Fire Mom, fucking idiot. That's a month for a hostage tag. Olivia basically hates her mom. And so... Olivia's like David Foster's new wife. What's her bones from American Idol?

Yeah, Catherine McFee. She's like Catherine McFee. She looks just like her. She looks... Yeah, she looks just like David Foster's future ex-wife. I agree. Yes. Number four.

I agree. I agree. She does. And I remember when I used to recap American Idol years ago like writing the writing kind it was so hard I did capture McFee season and I was like this girl does not give a fact Okay, she was 16 years old. She is married like a 90-year-old record producer, you know, and she did American Idol and she got to the finals She was in the end like she was number. I think she came in second. Just Taylor, what's his face? I think Taylor. The Taylor Hicks.

The great hair to go. Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks. I know, got some Hicks. What are they called? Taylor Hicks is basically like the Carrie Brittany Hamm of American Idol. Let's be honest. So, Catherine McFee comes out for her final two performance. Bitch, literally laid on the ground. Layed on the ground and stared up at a camera and sang somewhere over the rainbow. And I will never forget it. I was like, you're my fucking hero.

You're just like showing up to the finals and you're just like, yep. You're like, did you hurt your head? You really had a hard landing on my shoulder. Yeah, your bummy ass worked out shoulder, thanks Ben. Thanks for the cushioning. Poor Catherine McFee, she just has an amazing career, that's all.

She actually did really well considering, I won't use the David Foster though, so. It's really. She's, doesn't that, she, that makes her Gigi and the other one and the other other ones Step Step step I can't I'm from the I'm from the campus. We don't start counting like that You'll just get lost. They're just like all one big my point is she laid down You know, that's that's my advice to the world you know you're stressed, you're in a stressful situation, just be like,

... ... Nothing says I want to win this competition. Alright, point it! ... ... Hello? Hello? Yes, hi? Yeah! Oh! Hello! Hello? Hello? Yes? Hi?

Hi, it's me, Shina. Oh, Shina Marie! Hi, Shina. How's it going? I'm very so dumb. I'm here. I'm from a farm. I'm doing a panel. And it's with a whole panel of people who used to work at TGI Fridays. Oh. The panel is called... Kona!

Kona! What are the life lessons that you've been able to teach? Whenever you're walking around a corner, you should always say Kona! Because if you don't, people come back away from the squirrel machines and like, hey, you and then drop their train and then you feel stupid and then they blend you even though they were the ones who bumped into you. Wow. So was it like, was it like this whole, was it like, do you have like a table where there

are like TVs set up and everything? Yeah, we have like a whole thing. We have like a station to marry catch ups. It was amazing. There were like five caddies who just spent the entire time on the panel standing there holding salt and pepper shakers on a tray just like trying to hide from us. It was like that. Were you able to see any of your other fellow castmates at your panel? At Tom Sandable, he was dressed like a see-up.

Oh! Katie, I mean, Ariana's never looks so turn on. They finally worked it out. Wow. So was there anyone that you were not looking forward to seeing there? Tom Sondibald dressed as C.I. It was hard. It was hard.

I was like, Tom, if you're going to walk around the corner, you should go, KORNA! But I was not going to see that. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Wow.

Well, Shina, we are so glad you came by and said hello. It was really a delight to have an actual cast member of Vanderpump Rules be here with us. Thank you, maybe my cramps. Ah! Wow. I can't believe how many bravo liberties are really coming through tonight. I mean, it's amazing. And you know, to interrupt such an important scene.

I know. Let's go back to Carrie and Catherine McFeed discussing an Instagram photo shoot for Carrie's future necklace. Actually, it's a current necklace line. Did you know Carrie has had a necklace line for three years? Wow, that's exciting for her. How's she sold anything yet? Obviously not.

That bitch is desperate. I love the desperation of Carrie just being like, I haven't pre-mute break it, nothing. I know. Because we support myself. So I necklaces. It's like, I myself. So I make a list. I know. So she tells Olivia that Stephanie's going to be coming by, and Olivia's like, yeah, I know.

You always talk about her. And then she's still doing that with Stephanie Comefay. Stephanie's like, wow, your daughter's so cute. Yeah. She's like, yeah, my mom always talks about you. Why don't you be her daughter. So Stephanie's like, oh my god, like, carry such a strong person. Yeah, my mom always talks about you. Why don't you be her daughter. Oh. Oh. So Stephanie's like, oh my god, like, Carrie is such a strong personality. So surprised that she would like to sign a prenup,

especially when she gets nothing. So like, yay, nice to see you. It's going to work out great, Carrie. I believe in you. Oh, I just do it. I do it. Ah! Ah!

Ah! So Stephanie starts talking about Cameron. And you know, because their front-end business is like sort of like on the fritz. And, you know, Stephanie has really bothered because Cameron keeps saying that Stephanie hasn't been putting in the effort. And then we get to this flashback. Because this is what Cameron had been telling, carry this. And we get to this flashback where

they're in some crazy spa, where it's basically just like Cameron's floating head. And like a high CPAC, or like a tropical punch thing. It's like a TV boxing, because Carrie's like, have you been to ozone therapy? Let's say no. It's like, yes you been to ozone therapy? Let's say no It's like yes, it's like you get in this steam box and your head comes out just wet so much anyway I went to Cameron so they got the camera. She's like it's just a camera head

She's like I go above and beyond my friendships. Yeah. Um, I don't see the point in going above and beyond for someone who's not like a real good friend. I'm not going above or beyond. For the friends who I go above and beyond for, I do things like put them in an exercise suit that electric heats them to death and tell them that beauty is pain okay that's a bum beyond. So it's definitely like, I need to learn how to have a relationship with Cameron or like she's not always mad at me, because like she's always mad at me.

I do a lot of things to bug her, but I get to see him time. I don't wanna be like, be my friend, be my friend, because that's like pathetic. Like, I used to do that for dudes. And I felt pathetic. Until what worth like $90 million married me. And I feel great, like I don't like that, never mind. I don't like that.

Never like that. Like that. So, this is like, we now like segue into just like a general like in the middle of the show, like let's have several scenes of Stephanie telling us about how she is like a afraid to speak up sometimes. So we then go to- Look at you, there were at least four- Oh, awesome.

No, I mean, listen, we love Stephanie. Stephanie is one of our favorite people on Bravo, totally. Now. But like- I awest, Stephanie, here's my thing. Listen, we love Stephanie. Stephanie is one of our favorite people on Bravo totally now But like I awestat to me here's my thing you can't be victimized by cam like cam is the dumbest fucking person to ever walk You can't like go home being worried about what cam thinks of you like that's just a layer like cam is that girl on yelp? Who's like um the feed was great the, um, the feed was great, the service was great, the host was great, the floors were mean to me. So one star. One star.

I didn't like the napkin, one star, one star. So, so basically we now go to a scene of Steph at home with her mom and she's basically she talks to her mom every day and her mom is like her therapist and I think she maybe even said that her mom is a therapist I couldn't tell. She did but I don't know if that was like the literal or's face is always like loving, but also I could fucking kill you. Yeah, you know she's like this. It's like you better not say anything bad about your childhood, which was largely positive. Thanks to me. Like she looks like she's gonna hug you, but also murder you, which I think is what motherhood is. Yeah. So Stephanie is what motherhood is. Yeah. So Stephanie is, okay, now here's what I love about Stephanie.

Like, I don't feel like Stephanie's a fake bitch at all. And you know I love to call that shit out. And it actually bugs me about Stephanie that she's like so nice. Yeah. We're not comfortable with that. And so rich. Like, I need to find a fault.

I need to find a hole in the suit where it's gonna suffocate you. You know, like when you're in space. Like one tiny hole can suffocate you like she murdered someone once. Yeah, it's like she's secretly That's Dine Mart Like yes Or she's like one of those people who just tries close on when they know they have BO and they just like it and puts it back Farts and elevators

Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. I still shop at Ross girl. You know what I'm talking. Yeah. So she's very, like, she's too nice, and I just want to find something wrong. Now here's what I will say. This isn't really something wrong, but Stephanie's like learning to do that real housewives thing without actually being a bitch about it,

where she's taking someone being mean to her and using it against them as a weapon without being a dig. Does that make sense? Like Cameron's doing all this sense and Stephanie's just like, oh my God, this reminds me, it's like that time you were shunned, more work is, and everybody in the country club

was like me to us because we were in his school. Cameron's making me feel like that girl, like I'm just not good enough. And I was like, wow. Weigh the term this into you being like an afterschool special victim. Because Cameron is doing that. But I know it's not hurting you to that degree. And well fucking done. Yeah. It's weird because like it's masterful. Yeah, because Brandy tried to do the same thing a few weeks ago where she's like, it's just that when

I hear the word trash, it just reminds me of when I grew up in a trailer home, and people would make fun of me. So the word trash really triggers me, and I can't even take out the trash. I can't even play with garbage-pale kids. It's just like really hard. It's like, you don't know what day trash day is, and they need to put your trash hat on the wrong day, and then all the neighbors look,

you don't even know what the trash day is trash. It's like, hmm. Her, I'm like, you're trash. Yeah. But this girl, I'm not. I'm like, I love you. And what a way to manipulate the situation. You have earned your spot, Matt.

Yes. Well done. Well, good housewives playing. So then this also gives us yet another montage of Cameron, you know, basically, Hectoring, Stephanie, which, like, this is slowly becoming my favorite clip of this season is Cameron for a laundry party but dressed like a flapper for some reason,

like a very conservative flapper saying, if someone went into your face and said, F in, what would you do? It's like, okay, John Cihone is like, relax. You said, F in in my face. You said, F in. You can't say Stephanie without sort of saying F in, okay? You have F in your name.

Okay. So Cameron Montages, I look for those. They're like, look what an evil person Cameron is. And she's like, that was really impolite. How you hit me in the face with the doldo? Oh. Trash. So the mom's like, you should never let anyone make you feel that.

And it was actually nice. I was like, what a lovely scene crisis was because I don't think anyone Dressed for a midlife crisis. They're in the midst of one Yeah, that's why you can't throw a midlife crisis party when you're literally in the midst of like your real housewife You are a midlife crisis. Yes I was like where are your extra fillers, you know, so like where extra fillers, you know. So like, where is your like single earring? I had no idea what you were. What do I do for a mid-life crisis? I was like, your face is like a stop sign at this point. No offense. Someone should just walk through with the Callista Flockhart. I mean, it's like done, you know. That's a little Harrison Ford shaming, that's right. I will do it. I will do it.

I will go there. So anyway. I know we can't find it anywhere. So here's the other thing. So Stephanie dresses up like peg Bundy. And I don't know if it bothered you guys as much as it bothered me. And I know technically it works.

But she kept on saying, I'm Peggy Bundy. I'm Peggy Bundy.'m Peggy Bundy I was like it's Peg Peg Bundy I drove me nuts and I've been waiting to get that out and thank you for supporting me Peggy Bundy Peggy Bundy it's what bothered me is that I'm just such an old bitch because I don't realize it and tell people say things like that. Oh my god like I remember when I said my hat chair watching married with children I was like God, I remember when I was in my high-care watching Mary with children. I was like, oh, really? I was doing Coke off a hooker's ass somewhere

at the back of high school. I was like, oh, I'm old. And then she's like, yeah, I just took a Peggy Buddy and I think Midlife Crisis. And I remember growing up thinking, Peggy, Peg Bundy is like a badass bitch. Yeah, I can't wait to be Peg Bundy. She's like the original real housewife of New Jersey.

And Al was the original man spreader with this. Yeah. So she also, they spent like $75,000 on this band that didn't even get to, like, they didn't even get the music rights to whoever this was. Yeah, they could get music rights or... He was only singing Taylor Swift songs. They were like, no.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

See, I'm not bad old. I know who Taylor Swift is. I'm grateful little. Don't just kidding. So Travis' version of a midlife crisis was to dress head to toe and Gucci. $5,000 worth of being short on t-shirt and who knows what else.

That's not midlife crisis to me. That's just problem. It's like, it's not joke. He midlife crisis. It's literal midlife crisis. Yes, like my outfit cost 5 grand. Like we get it Fred Flintstone, okay. Nice rug.

So then Carrie, so she dresses up by putting on these green pasties that are in the shape of stars. Also not midlife crisis, see to me. Literally, midlife crisis. But it isn't, isn't it? It's not alluding to a midlife crisis to me. I literally bit life crisis to see it. But it isn't, isn't it? It's not alluding to a midlife crisis. Like you're a midlife crisis Flux.

Yeah. And then she's like, this is definitely a situation. Because they're dressed like Jersey Shore people. Yeah, that's the thing. The Jersey Shore, like Jersey Shore is not midlife crisis. That's like just life crisis. That's just crisis. Yeah, that's Shore is not midlife crisis. That's like just life crisis. That's just crisis, yeah. That's right.

That is moral crisis. That is just crisis. It's literally called the situation, okay? It's a crisis. That is big lot of crisis. Passchak, this isn't a crisis. Yeah. Okay, so...

It's a real deputy situation. And Edward's like, you're wearing stars on your nipples Like Edward hates her so much and he's like not even hiding at all He's like I brought my midlife crisis my hot wife Carrie. Yeah, she's wearing stars on her nipples He hates her so much he could be British. He's just like He could be British. He could just like don't you feel like he should just be British and reading a newspaper? He should just start speaking in British. Be like, I'm sorry, I have to go to the theater or E.

Just has that British disdain. You know? He gets there so much. He's like British and she's something gluten free. You know? You feel like... She's too pretty. British people are like, no gluten free. No fuck you. Okay. I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like,

I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like,

I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like,

I feel like I'm like, I feel like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like, I feel like I'm like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, and I learned this fight can be another day. So then Brandy and Brian show up at the party. So she dresses as a playboy bunny. And then Brian, he's just dressed in denim, like almost like a backstreet boy. They look like Kim Zolciac and her husband, right?

Yeah, I thought. Kroy, yeah, they look like Kim Zolciac and Cry. Yeah, and so, Brandon's like, she's like, not Brian, you're on Boob Watch. She's like, fun. I try to look somewhat happy that you have a hot wife and you're going to this fun party, sir. And you went to Medieval Times last night.

You just literally made me sad. Like everything in that. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. So she says, he doesn't love a playboy penny. I figured this would say Smith Live Crisis because anyone wearing a playboy money outfit is in a midlife crisis.

True. But last year's party, you were still in your St. Dallas cheerleaders outfit From when you were a Dallas cheerleaders. Yeah, I don't know. It was a toss up I guess you've already worn that one you literally just farted in my face. You want attention? I do it. I do it. So once again, we're in the throes of it actually looks like a super fun party Like there's so many people there, there's all sorts of stuff. There's just so much money dropping down. No, it's like patriarchy and like, you know,

patriarchy. Capitalism. It's that good old locker money. Which white men? It's like how you get a boner when you watch the impeachment hearings. Just because you see all that money and privilege Oh, hello Thank you. Wow. Thank you very much

Thank you. Wow. Thank you so much Man, oh Thank you very much. That was lovely. I'm gonna be dragged out of here Those were drinks just given to us by two cool ladies people at home Thank you, so thank you very much. So so the super fun part is because I said patriarchy Got two ladies so You're just too white guys literally got served So, you're literally just too white guys literally got served. I know.

You're like, Patriarchy, you look at this, it's raining on my head now. I think so. By the way, we have to give it up for this balloon here, representing the balloon in the restaurant that... Boon, boon, boon. So anyway, so a super fun party, everyone's having a great time, and Brandy and Stephanie are like on the swinging trampoline thing.

And in the middle of a great party, Stephanie's like, so did you hear about your baby? You're gonna have a baby. Yes, do you hear about that baby? I'm not a baby. I'm not your family. It's brewing to be renail with the stuff. It's definitely like Buzz killing this whole episode.

Like every party, she's like, so. I'm gonna adopt that baby or what? Is it gonna be? You're gonna put it to sleep, you're gonna adopt that baby or what? Is it gonna be? You're gonna put it to sleep, you're gonna do that baby. You have a baby. Okay, so I think Travis' dad might be dying. Have you heard about that?

To me dogs are babies, so that's how I look at babies. Like, what if no one adopts that baby? So, think about it. Think about it. Think about it. So, um, Brandy, okay, so now this part became very controversial on Internet, which I've been reading every day since. So this part became very controversial because Brandy, yeah, because Brandy is like, well,

we're waiting on a paternity test. It's a weather and not. This is Bruins full sibling Because if it's only a half sibling, I'll be more hesitant to move forward So people are freaking out like I mean my first reaction was fuck you like how are you gonna adopt a child and then tell that child That's adopted that like being a half sibling is less important than being a full sibling when he's got other sibling to work full sibling Well, here's what you Here's how you do it. You read about it. Here's how you do it. You give the full one a

Condo and you make the half one be a server at serve That's how you do it. Okay, I things. Two things. Three things. First of all, shame money, you know. Second thing, you're all genders, you're equal in all of our eyes. Also kidding. Third thing, so I was reading about it on the internet because someone was like, yeah, fuck, crap. And I like, oh, my God, my soul twin. But then people were explaining how the phosphorus system and adoption works. Apparently, I guess we all knew it was a giant fucking mess.

We all know that. Apparently, it's harder to adopt a half sibling than it has a full sibling. They have to go through a whole separate problem. Then I read, I was reading all of this actual truthful information about how fucked up our society is and how fucked up All these rules are and I was starting to feel things and so I was just like all I did was put a note that said don't be mean to brandy in this part So you're welcome there You figure out the rest You figure out the rest. Oh my god!

Oh my god! My god, my battle of Cheetos is ringing. Hello. Well, well, well. Oh my god. It's countislywann. Hi, countis. Damn, brightest countislywann.

More like Cabaret Starlywann. Okay. I just finished a three song set and I have to tell What were they? What were they? What were they? What were they? What were the three songs you sang? Well, the first song was called Money Can't Buy a Class. Have you heard of it? I am. It goes like this. Money can't buy you. Line, line. It was class.

Class. Thank you. What's the second song? The second song was, I'm walking on a stage right now and feeling real good about the stage in my shoes and I'm on stage and the song is over. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Is that...

But no. Okay. What was your third song? What would you do if you sang out of shoes and the shoes fit on your feet because they're shoes to Vani They love to they love to wow So how's it going over there? Who's the best person you've met so far? Provocon well, I ran into Tom again, and that was great

He got a new yacht so I'm reconsidering I also ran into Carol rads well Had to tell her to shut up a few times you found me around Don't just fall around the cabaret's tongue you bow with their feet. Am I right? Am I right? So who wasn't invited to bravo con I heard that Sonya wasn't invited. Why was she invited? Well, it's not that she wasn't invited She just didn't find her invitation. She lost her blackberry in her toilet, and it's been a whole problem The Wann, are you gonna perform this year at Bravo Con?

Well, I mean Everything I do is sort of like a performance. That's what you do when you're a star. So yeah, so I will be performing. My opener is going to be the guy with the dredge from the counting crows. He's going to be singing, it's a long December and I'm going to be following with it.

It's an even longer January, if you know what I'm saying It's a long parole So go ahead and give us a version of the song we're gonna sing today at BravaCon Okay, it goes it goes something it goes something like this Sorry, I got to find the key. Oh, that's it, that's it. Yeah, it was good. That was an Eish. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the counter speaking. You have arrived. Sheak sail, a medieval times medieval medieval Sheaks say la jouse medieval medieval All right, well, thank you for being this classiest ever. Thank you for cooling

I'm not a lot. Thank you. Yeah, it's like we got a free pass to count with some friends That was so nice. That was really nice. Yeah So my last note on this brandy scene before I did discovery on the internet says, I hate her. So next, let's go over to the We're Still at the Party. So everybody's hugging and talking about how Carrie is trying to dress like Jersey Shore. And she's like, look at me, I'm snooki! Hello, I'm snooki! Hey, you all! The party is here!

That was my snooki! The party is here! So then, Leanne comes and assured that says, hear me, boy! Leanne made zero effort for this event, okay? You look focused, I'm married now, fuck you, fuck you. Until you donate me a midlife crisis cost you, I'm not wearing shit. Yeah.

So she's like, well, Rick is at home sick, but he wants to know Travis, if you're gonna be having butt sex tonight. That Stephanie is like, yeah, he asked me earlier. I mean, it's no secret that Travis asked for butt sex on special occasions. And then we actually had a butt sex request montage. Which is totally progressive, I like that. They really are what the Flintstones would be if that was a modern cartoon, you know?

She's like the hot, like fun-wise, and he's just like Fred Flintstone, like give me some blood sex. So it's like, yeah, kind of, so secret. He likes blood sex. So I have zero issues taking something up his ass. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You're okay there. Yeah. I don't know why I'm drinking so I want to smoke. So I'm faking it behind the thing. Okay, so poor mama D. So Travis is like, That is the best costume here. Do you like butt sex? No!

No! You know what fix your company? Butt sex! So Dandra is dressed like Mama D and Dandra is really basically like me at a job interview. Just reaching for every bottle of vodka she sees and like Dandra ain't even pretending anymore. It's like, FUUCK YOUR STOP! She is. She's going for it. And Carrie is like, wait, Mama, where's a wig? I mean, Carrie.

Come on, Carrie. Come on. You're the only one here that isn't wearing the wig. See your next season, OK? Carrie next season, it's gonna be like, oh, I'm carried! I'm gonna have like 20 pounds of wing, and like, Dander, she's gonna have her season two wig down there. Well, there's all big assumption in saying season two, but that's nice. At least I'm just calling people poor. How?

You're just saying, she hasn't made for the most compelling content, okay? What are you talking about? I have necklaces So Dandercombs in doing her impersonation of Mama D's sake So she'll always have the cooking competitions though. Who could re-heat the stoke first faster? So Deandre is like, they're all talking about Leanne, right? And Deandre is like, you know what? I was really worried about coming here with that Jeremy,

because you know, I heard that all the head was we're gonna be here. I don't need to get into an awkward sketch with Rich, okay? I mean, you are married now. Can we just move on? It's like, yeah, except that you said that he was cheating on his wife. Why the hell is that?

Well, tell him this, and... Also, by the way, I really resent that the season opened up with talk of pretty Jessica, and we have never circled back to that. You can't put pretty Jessica on the table, and then just like put another fucking huge chicken leg on the table for a bit of a time. I need to know what happened to pretty Jessica.

You can't introduce pretty Jessica, and then make us watch scenes about necklace photoshoots. Okay, pretty neat. Pretty Jessica, call us. Pretty Jessica, we need the details. So, Pretty Jessica call us. Pretty Jessica. We need the details. So, you know, Jamie even pretty. It's something like busted ass Jessica.

Jessica is just a boxer. No one ever call us. Yeah. No one ever fucks around on their wife with someone that much hotter. Maybe younger, but not necessarily. It's something busted ass jacked up face Jessica. We know we see you I see you through the TV spray Jessica. We are not on TV but you get what I'm saying.

So more people arrive including this really hot guy who shirtless love that and then some thirsty fuckers arrived to in Barbie boxes. I was like you are not part of this cast people with your Barbie boxes. Thank you So By the way before this episode, I was like how are we gonna do this this nothing happened in this episode It's like 19 hours ago. It's like and then someone had a shrimp cocktail Then did you see the way that woman drank her soda? So then Stephanie makes a big speech and she's like the whole family is out of the kids and everything and she's like everyone.

These are our baby, this is a cruise and a chance. And this Travis and I just have to say Travis, you are the most amazing, wonderful, incredible father and we as a family, we just all love you. He's like, buttex, buttex. Buttex, buttex. Anybody buttex? Buttex. Okay, I'd like to introduce the band that cost $75,000 soon in this buttex.

So, I want to welcome buttex. And then comes the worst rendition of Happy Birthday I have ever heard. Dude, I thought somebody was going to die, get in the fight. I thought it was like chemistry friends. It was very dramatic and it went on for 97 minutes. Yeah, they were like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we Happy birthday to... Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! To... To... Travis! We are the world! We are the bug sex. We are the ones who make a right a day. Like, and did nothing else happen on this season?

Chop, chop, how does this in 19-minute happy birthday song make it in? I never realized that song was so goddamn long. So then, this guy, Rodney Atkins, who is probably very famous. There you go, Rodney Atkins who is probably very famous. There you go Rodney Atkins. He's not his son. He's not his son. He's not his son. He's not his son.

He's not his son. He's not his son. He's not his son. He's not his son. Did anyone feel bad for Keith Suburban during this scene? Do you remember, Tiffany Hendress has been Aaron? Did anyone feel bad for Keith Suburban during this scene? Do you remember, Tiffany Hendress has been Aaron?

Didn't even get to be on stage. October! Remember his big song was called October? Like the least exciting month of beer. I love October. What's there you? October's a great month. And that's the September. So Deandra's now getting wasted.

And she's like, she's taking off her blazer her pasties are out big night for pasties you know that like Mama D was somewhere like watching her wig on a monitor be like she better she better not mess up my wig she better not she better not fuck up my pasties either you know mama D was sitting there with like her boobs up to her chin like good luck. I mean She's like we're doing the Janet Jackson rolling stone cover for that's the way love goes Sorry if anyone knows what I'm talking about I've ruined their night what I'm talking about, I've ruined their night. Yeah. Yeah.

So Deandra loses a bee pin or something, right? Like, the next is like the Sonya Morgan storyline for Deandra, where Deandra's just like, look, it's Deandra falling down. And they're Deandra's falling. Yeah. But Deandra's like flying and she's like flying and they're falling down, you know? They just get so many shots of end of falling in different ways. So Leanne starts doing what she does best, which is,

I got Super Melo Dramatic and she's like, you know, for somebody who knows the Andra, it's a slippery, slippery slope, sort of like the slide at the Carnival, you get into the burlap sack and go down it. She's going down the burlap sack and go down it She's going down the burlap slide of alcoholism. She's basically a drunk at this point It is one thing getting drunk in private but getting drunk in public. I was like wait a minute. I

Don't think you learned an alcoholism means, okay? If you're gonna get drunk, get drunk at home. Oh, long. So, then this like weird fight happens because Deandra lost this B or B, or B, or B, it's a B and it's a B. Which of course Mama D has a B pen that she can't live. That is a diamond big It was like a nanny cam you know it was a nanny cam Mother said I have to work back the bee pin so

She can't find that she's like looking around when she's like able to get on to her feet and everything and then Leanne starts Like fighting with carry over it because they Lee Ann finally finds the pin and then she's like See this is how you do it. You got to find it quickly. You got to find it quickly, Carrie. Like it's like she finally made that pivotal B pin point she's been wanting to make all season. Now, look, we're about to have a few rough weeks with Leanne. I don't know if you noticed the previews.

They're not pretty. No. So I'll just say this to start off. Leanne can be a monster and a crazy person. But she's still the girl who will hold her purse open while you barf into it while your makes it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And there's something to be said for bitches like us. Okay. Yeah. So she's helping her find this bee pin. So that's what you gotta do. You find it to be pin and carry it's like, who are you being so mean to Deandra? It is almost like the unlike this so she can control the end drop. Like, okay. If Liam made Deandra a fall down drunk right now, your point with stand, ma'am. But it's like you can't yield a fireman for putting out a fire when they're actually putting out the fire.

You know what I mean? Shut up, Carrie. You're new here. You barely even go here, Carrie. Zip it. Zip it. I then, I then they start competing about stuff

just for the sake of competing cause Carrie's like, but she's 50. She's older than I am. And Leanne's like, I'm older than she is. The only housewife, so, where people fight about being actually older than her. Yeah.

They're like fighting over each other. I'm older than my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my that who should be looking for the BP in the oldest person should be babysitting like a see where their kind of person has to find the BP in. So that Stephanie kind of says the same thing too. She's like went down to a drink like she drinks successfully and like I don't think she knows how to be around the end so we're so like I think of these moments she's trying to reach out to Leanne which I kind of get what she says But why is everybody like judging Leanne for Deanne for falling down drunk right I don't get that But I do kind of get what she says because that's the only time Leanne smiles to you It's like you're in crisis. Let me help you find your BP and then when you're sober

She's like fuck you your husband's cheating and I found your BP and that's why she does it You know for the next like two seasons remember the And I found your BP in. That's what she does. You know for the next like two seasons, remember the time I found your BP in? Think about it. So now it's the next day and everyone's packing because they're gonna go to Thailand, you know, for the big trip. It's sort of a weird thing for a cast trip.

It's like, so let's go to Thailand to see if Travis's dad is alive. Because like, what if like God forbid that doesn't work out so well? How do you have a cast trip about that? Like, that's not fun. It's fun for me. Like, that sounds like such a good trip. Let's go someplace like 24 hours away just to see if someone's dad is like pissing on themselves like

I'm in It'll only be funny of Cameron delivers the news you guys Two things. I finally found a good taco salad here, and Travis's dad died. So... Anyway. In fairness to him, he was doing fine in Thailand, but I decided to practice my oratory, because I saw a person in the wall. So... He was trash anyway. So while they're getting, you know, we get the obligatory packing. Everyone's packing. So, um...

Kerry is packing with her hateful daughter, Catherine McFee. He's just like on the ground staring up like, I hate you, I help you die in Thailand? Then we go over to Liam and she's like all right biscuit eaters Talking to her dogs Who's gonna help me pack so then she tells Rich because Someone told me that women pop turtles at their vaginas Liam, who told you that just physics? Liyan, who told you that? Just physics. I hate when she gets Thailand confused with Super Mario Brothers.

It's, I heard that in Thailand, you go down a pop, and then you stick a ping pong ball into it. Into a gumball, some sort, like no, Liyan. I'm sorry, the ping pong balls in another castle. Just for those of you in the audience this is how to do a face-knifed full-free. Tyrone Davy should surround your head very tightly. I can't believe I'm hot when it's fucking nine degrees outside. Leave it to me. So meanwhile Deandra is packing and Mamadie is just like following her around the closet and she's like hmm so you want to island and she's like so how long you can be gone a week? What's gonna happen with your company?

What's gonna happen with your company bail your failure in corporate rated And then she's like wow can I matter? know, I know it's weird, but you know, maybe Jeremy or me should be there, but you know, I'm so much stress lately, mother. Could you name one time? Like I've seen you drunk every day for like three weeks. Yeah, Deandra was like, I just, you know,

with everything that's going on, I'm just like very stressed out. And you know, like that's what I needed, Mexico. Oh, I mean, I mean, that was an evocation that was my birthday. He's like, mm-hmm, failure. Mm-hmm, failure. Because like this. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's right. I took a vacation two weeks ago. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, you know, so, um, what is that outfit, Dan? For that looks like an apron that you wear in the kitchen. Oh my lord. That's what I'm saying.

So then we get Stephanie's packing and Stephanie's sister-in-law, who's Travis's sister. She's there and she's great. You know what I love about her? She's like, so you're going to Thailand now for the first time? You know it's a terrible time to go, right? I'm... Stupid, you're stupid. So then Calvin is packing with an assistant. Otherwise known as someone paid to be your friend, which card I wish I had one of those.

So she's like, a truth lady, never please tone, unless she has to sit on her suitcase. It's like that's not what we call a new bird. So, uh, Brewing in a suitcase, brewing in a suitcase. Why is this the beginning of an episode? Like, serious. And this is the beginning of a housewives episode where they're like,

a trolley pass is there's a statue of a housewives episode where they're like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do It's so cute seeing karma and like physical form. Yeah, you know, I've heard so much about you. It's it's time to invest in a cage, I think, at this point. It's time for a cage. Crate. A crate. A crate. That's a little more human.

It's abusive. It's a cage. But it's thoughtful training if it's a little more human. It's abusive, it's a cage. But it's thoughtful of training. It's a training if it's a crake. Yes. That's correct. OK, so they all go to the airport. And Cameron is one of those people that's always shocked by rain.

It's raining outside. And she's like, oh my god. Thoughts a monsoon. It's a monsoon. and it's like, oh my god, the Somansu. It's a monsoon. So, it's like, okay, Cam, there's only one thing you have to know about Thailand. Turn it all out of the China, it's got it. Please remember this,

the one thing you cannot do in Thailand is you cannot say anything bad about the king or the royal family. She's like, mm, I know that next week she'll be like, that king is trash. Be like broke down powerless with the cabinet. I'm not going to that king's wife's birthday party. I'll tell you that right now. I think as you can't disparage the king or the royal family, she says, what's that word? It's like disparage. What is that mean?

Disperge. Disperge? Could you imagine Cameron broke down palace? Could you imagine Cameron broke down palace? Just in like a dirty dingy jail cell, just annoying every other prisoner. Like broke down palace. I'm, you know, I'm trying to get to know you girls and you're having conversations in other parts of the jail cell without me.

And I just, I thought we were real friends and I guess we're just superficial. Hmm. Fucking broke down palace. Work down, Paul. Well, broke down, Paul was. Broke down, top of the worldos. Well, broke down polos. Broke down toko so what? You know, the time difference between dollars and talent, it's like totally opposite.

It's insane. It's insane. When it's 8 p.m. here, do you know what time it is there? It's 8 a.m. Aram. Aram. Do you know what time it is there? It's 8 am. It's 8 am. Do you know what that means? It's like we're traveling into the future.

Do they have roads there? I'm not even an intelligent person and I was like, bitch, you stupid. Damn. I mean, damn. I don't know where I am half the time and I'm like, bitch, you stupid. Damn. I mean, damn. I don't know where I am half the time, and I'm like, you're dumb. So everybody gets on the plane day. Oh my God, Stephanie, thank you for everything.

Which you should think, Stephanie, because you remember the last trip when they went to Denmark and then the poor people had to sit and coach. That's right. I love when that happens on a real house I've shown. Son coach, you can tell who's really poor because they have to get paid. Their seats are paid for by Bravo, but coach. Because Bravo's a dirty bitch and we all know it. Happy Bravo, Conn.

But if they want to upgrade, they can pay to upgrade. And I think Stephanie upgraded them. What do you think? That's my guess. Am I say that in something? Maybe. Currently waiting for an upgrade from Stephanie. Thank you.

Pass it on. I'll put it out in the video. This is our way of saying we want an upgrade from Stephanie. So just when you felt like great about whatever, I don't know. But basically, then there's this weird segment where it's like, so what does great about whatever. I don't know. But basically, then there's like this weird segment where it's like, so what does Deandra know about Thailand? She's like, well, mother, I know it's in Asia somewhere. I mean, everyone knows that, right?

And then everyone's like, guys, I literally googled where is Thailand, because I didn't want to be stupid in this recap. It's an Australia, right? Confession. I don't know because I always pick Dukin' Hiza. And then it's not at all. It's like, wow Thailand, the best Mexican city on Yelp.

So then Leana's basically like, you know, trips with this group haven't always worked out so great for me. Should we do some flashbacks? I'll just direct my own episode. The Williams just like introducing your own flashbacks. Like, do you want to see how many people have been with me? Oh, God, it's true. And thank God, because then we cut to the first season where you see Marie, basically

like, you threatened to kill me. It goes, okay Marie. Marie, Marie. What you think is killing is different from what I think is killing. And then Mexico trip, 2017. Oh, feel like I'm only a son of a storm only I'm not listening to everything everyone has to say about me.

And then Denmark last year the standing on a sofa will never forget you don't do it. Oh Broken chair almost yeah Wow, that was a great sound effect you made about that I'm sorry Is this is this my panel I can't see I have my own blind isn't oh Wow, hi Shannon. This is Shannon Bdor Is this my panel I can't see I have mild bling isn't? Oh half of my eye. Wow.

Hi Shannon. This is Shannon Bedore. Huh. Hi. How are you? What are you? Are you a Bravo Con? I'm a Bravo Con.

I wish I could say I was enjoying myself, but unfortunately I'm still mildly concussed from Kelly Dad striking me with an axe. Where was it? Oh, I don't know. Kelly dad, striking me with an axe. Oh, to be fair, I don't know if it was an axe or if it was a stick on a bowl. But I- A shaman.

I have been bleeding, but it's been a clear, a clear bleed from my forehead. Some say it's sweat, but I'm pretty sure it's a clear belief. There's blood. There's blood in my sweat. They call it blood-sweat and heels. My heels are bleeding. I sleep today from going to the overhead with a stick. Stick? I'm gonna stay positive. I'm not gonna think about David. I'm gonna have 30 to 40 positive thoughts because I'm so happy

I don't want to take this time to talk about David's new girlfriend named Slutty McSplutface Oh Slutty, let us say alright but Slutface has been posting on Instagram I got me saying I am thirsty. While me and while she is posing in forest, wealthy while her underwear pulled down to her ankles. And she made her his hummingtales. Her hummingtales. She thinks she is so sexy by the fact that she is naked.

Well, let me tell you something, girl friend. You think it takes balls to be naked? It takes balls to wear a lovely little sequin jacket around sometimes. Yeah. Because let me tell you what a sexy teller around your head and a comforter around your breast while you're answering the front door after a nice shower

This is what I have to say to her I'm sorry did I hold up three fingers or six I have some double vision. I'm not sure I would like to end this show by saying, this is not my point you fucking bitch! That brings us to the end! I'm real house on the way! You guys, thank you Indianapolis, you guys were awesome. If you're VIP, hang out.

Thank you guys so much! Good night everyone! Thank you! Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Bye, wee! Moor! Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.