Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Not a Roast!

Episode Date: September 12, 2019

*You can also watch as a video on Patreon http://bit.ly/crappensvideo D'Andra celebrates her fiftieth by inviting her friends and frienemies to roast her, but who will win the new game show Leeanne hosts called Not a Roast!? To hear this week's episode about road rage, car shaming, and Bravo's Flipping Exes, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Season One Camille" "Demoted to Friend Of" and "Resting Honnay Face!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! Free shipping on orders of $45 or more! **Crappens Live is coming to Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale, Atlanta, Houston and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. The Bay Area Betches! Betches!

Making the Slayer Taylor! Aaron McNickalis! She don't miss no trickle-ists. Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang! Lisa Wallent. Now that's what I call Wallentainment. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender!

Hava Nigela Weber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. He makes a squee, it's Richie D! Jamie, she has no last namey! Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobeloni! You don't touch the Niki Morgan letters! Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Higher than Iris, it's more in parades.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the bird. Just saying, okay. Christy, wow, we're the dowerty. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson. And our super premium Patreon subscribers.

Mina, kuchi, kuchi, kuchi. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. and our super premium Patreon subscribers. Meena Kuchikuchi! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shaman out of a cannon Anthony! The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Lulu Simon. Soon, soon studio. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Stump, the Stump Master.

Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day your out. Be your Mosta with Tina Elcosta. No one can do it like Andrea do it. Yes we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Nancy, Ceas and Desisto. We love you guys. Hello everybody, welcome to WatchaCrapins! The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Broms!

I'm Ronny Karam as usual Go find me over on the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast, which is almost done for the season and here I am with my little Bestie and internet partner Mr. Ben Mandelker of the real house where kitchen oil and kites cartoon on YouTube about kitchen utensils being real housewise. Whoa! Hi and in honor of today when we're talking about real housewives. Whoa. Hi, and in honor of today, when we're talking about real housewives of Dallas, a war, my round up t-shirt. Thank you.

Wow. Yeah. I know the boys that did it. I'm on my uniform white t-shirt that I'm wearing now in every video, because it's just easier to have 20 white t-shirts. You know, like Michael Cours. Yeah, but white.

So everybody, hi, welcome to the show. This is another crap and it's on demand video. So if you guys want to watch us, instead of just listen to us, get a boner. Go check us out on Patreon, and you will find the videos there under that level. We also just recorded our bonus episode for the week. Mostly we just talked about road rage

and car shaming people, but at the very end we talked a little bit about flipping X's, the show on Bravo about flipping. And we are going to be in a couple of weeks, we're going to Charlotte and Nashville on September 26th and 27th. So we're excited to see you guys there, a load ticket alert in Nashville, so get those. And Charlotte, that's a huge ass theater, so get your butts over there. And then here's a list of our shows for

the rest of the season. We're going to Atlanta, two shows. One is almost sold out, one still has tickets. Carbrow, Richmond, Tampa, Foot Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago, one is sold out and one has a low ticket alert. New York, New York, two shows, one has low ticket alert, one sold out, then St. Louis, Philadelphia, late show still has tickets, Denver, Seattle, Houston, and Columbus. Wow. Wow. Wow.

For a lot. We also have a newsletter that's out that you guys can subscribe to. That's real fun. It's like a little watch what crap in magazine that you guys can subscribe to. That's real fun. It's like a little watch what crap in magazine. They've been put together. It's really cool. So go sign up at watch at crapens.com. Find ticket links. Thanks for the support you guys. We love you. Thanks for the Patreon. And that is it for announcements. That is it. So we are talking Real Housewives of Dallas. And last week, when we recorded our recap, I was in Denver, and I believe I told a story about how I got, I wrote in an Uber with a crazy Uber driver who was like pitching me, telling me about how he was directing. He was remaking the Matrix movies.

Did I tell you that part? part no you don't tell me that oh yeah i forgot to tell everyone he's remaking the matrix by the way and uh... when i asked him how he's gonna get the rights that he said one of our best of the half doesn't have the rights on the word the matrix i was like okay good luck with that anyway he had it was one of the craziest uber rise ever had and then the next day after I recorded the podcast, I called an Uber and I got him again.

Oh no, no. What are the odds? I canceled, I was like, I can't do it again, I can't. But what are the odds that I would get that same driver as second time, honestly? The odds are pretty good when you're living in the Matrix, baby. That, you know what, you're right.

And you know what, I'm never gonna mock his dreams again, ever again. Yeah, there is a way I walk down the street, like I'm walking the dog and I pass the same, like crazy little old lady with a cart and then I'll pass the same, you know, the same kid outside the school. And I'm like, this, there is something to that, you know.

Yeah. I'm like, this is crazy, what's happening to me? And you know, who are we to make fun of a guy for, you know. Yeah. I'm like, this is crazy. What's happening to me? And you know, who are we to make fun of a guy for, you know, having very distinct theories about AI and remaking the matrix? When we're sitting here watching three women in Dallas, basically put themselves into like an electrocuting body suit and to call that exercise. You know what the world is crazy and it's all a matter of perspective. Well, I'm glad it's not just me because I have one of those little electrolysis

massager things like you put little pads on yourself and it gives you electrical pulses, like shocks and you can set it all these different ways. I saw it on Facebook, okay everybody. And so I use that and I'm convinced it's gonna make me thin. Like I put it on my stomach and I turn it all the way on and it makes my stomach go like,

boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Sometimes I'll just take like, like I have, sometimes I'll just take a, like a toaster and I will take like those wire things and I'll peel away the protective coating on the wires and just stick the live wire in my teeth and just live for the thrill of it. And you're thin. You see everybody, there's something to all this. stick the live wire MIT and just live for the thrill of it.

And you're thin. You see everybody, there's something to all this. So the episode opens up with Stephanie, Carrie, and Cameron going to this place called 9020. And I'm fairly convinced that Comcast Universal has some stock in this newfangled exercise thing because it was like an infomercial. They're like, um, 90-20, is this thing where he's like getting to a body suit

and you have like a 90 minute workout, but only in 20 minutes because it uses electrolysis. It's a full body thing, it really works, and it feels great. Thank you, Cameron. Yeah, and Cameron comes in in a pink raincoat and she's like, girl, you can have a 90 minute workout in 20 minutes?

We need that girl. We are so busy. We are so busy. So, you have like five nannies and no job, but the fuck are you talking about Cameron? Um, I'm sorry, but the global pet expo doesn't attend itself. So, yeah, so they get in and Stephanie explains why she likes this exercise routine because she goes, you know, I can work out in like 20 minutes, which means I have more time to eat. Which is the only reason I exercise. You know how on my fitness pal, you can't your calories,

but then if you exercise, it's like you can have 200 more calories. It's like, what the fuck is important of exercising, you know? So they bring Carrie with them. And Carrie has fallen victim to that housewives trope of my vagina still works. You know, we've talked about that for years and years. And we're used to men doing it all the time because we're men

and we see what G-Sh bags they are. But a lot of times new housewives like, we have so much sex! Like, Dandra, within the first season with Jeremy, you know. It's like we get it, your vagina still works, you know. That's all she wants to talk about is her vagina. She's like, does this work on my vagina? Oh, yes!

Can I put this up my vagina? Have it up my vagina? Have you got my vagina? I don't want to have multiple orgasms. Will I have multiple orgasms? Because I have a very active vagina. I wonder what accent I'm using. Congratulations on your vagina. Okay, 50% of us have them.

Cameron then gives us truly the best anecdote of the season. She goes, actually the first time I met Carrie was actually at DeAndre's house when she invited me over to have a taco salad. Everything she says makes me laugh. It's just I like had to pause the TV and just laugh for 5 minutes. And the thing is that it's so seriously. Taco Sal. When she invited me over for a taco salad. It's like the taco salad is really what like stuck in a fucking memory. But I actually think I remember that.

Didn't we see a scene last year when Cameron had a talk about a member carry being there. I don't remember it either, but it's just funny that like Cameron just paints pictures and she paints them with taco salads I remember the first time I went to the movies. I was a little girl and afterwards. I had a taco salad Every time I see something that looks like a little alien like ET, I think of taco salad So silly and it's they should it's a salad and you can eat the bowl I mean that's great and that's something I want to bring to global pet expo, okay?

At about balls camera's also the first one to be like I love Carrie, okay, she has absolutely no filter whatsoever and you never know What's gonna come out of her mouth? Girl, I'm like you're the first one to be like we don't talk like that Use your words carefully especially run a taco salad I love her. I'm loving her more of the season than ever. Oh my god And she's barely been in the show this season She's been traveling so much, but she comes in for like one second and just says some crazy shit

She just says some crazy shit that's like on paper not crazy on paper. Oh, yeah I'm a character went over to Deandra's house. We had to talk about it But when she says it, it's like oh my god Put this in the library of Congress and also she has this way of like getting right up to the camera in her diary room. And like she tilts her head and like she's too close to the camera. She just keeps moving closer and it's like she tilts her head and like moves just her head. It's like a zombie.

It's like a modern zombie. You know how modern zombies are her key jerky and fast? That's what she is except. She doesn't want to eat your brain. She just wants to tell you about Takas Ali. She's like hands are busting food like the the wood let me tell you about my taco salad I want to I want you to know about my taco salad that I had people are ripping off their own heads to just get away from talking about tacos the walking taco salad

the walking shred talking shred. I know you love me. I'm not bad. Okay, so the zombie apocalypse is here. And really the only effect is that taco salad sales have gone through the roof and everything else is pretty much fun. Finally, a zombie movie you can eat through. You know, that's finally the zombie movie I would watch. Then it's not scary.

It's actually about Taco Salad. Oh, okay. It's just an awkwardly tall girl in a pink raincoat trying to get to Taco Salad. Doing her thing. I love Taco Salad. This, she is a little scared. She is a little up close and personal.

It's like she's out of residence. She's a little old. Resident Taco. So they work, they do this workout. And they're like oh my god killing me I'm And so them after Stephanie's like are you guys going to the interest rest and camera because

I'm calling you the global paddock spa But I changed my flight to make it to down for party And they're like oh my god, that's so nice of you And I love that she's still dragging out global paddocks. Yeah, global paddocks, but it's back. Also, Ronnie, you did skip over Cameron's Yelp review of this exercise regimen, which is that, oh my God, I feel it all over. You know, it's like it's dressing out my muscles.

You feel like you're climbing a mountain, but guess what? You're not. You're still in the city. It's like the twist at the end of your exosciitant. I have to admit that mountain is like, guess what? You're not. You're still in the city.

I just don't the Senate. Guess what? I know since you weren't paying attention, you were thinking about taco salads, you thought that maybe it'd gone running up a mountain by accident? But guess what? You were in the exact same place

where you started your workout. Girl. She's cracking me up. I mean, you know what, Ronnie? I'm gonna celebrate us because I feel like we were early Cameron Westcott adopters and I feel like it is just, we've invested in her and it is just paying off dividends left and right now It really is and the ratings for this show suck. Where is everybody? I laughed so hard when I watch this show

I was cracking up at her taco salad shit. The taco's got what you're not Just lost it This show so funny Dom was watching with me and he was laughing out loud during this show and he hates like all this stuff. You know, he was laughing out loud. She is hilarious. So, D'Andra, another one who cracks me up every fucking time. I really like it this whole cast. So, D'Andra has decided that she wants to have her 50th birthday party be a roast. And then we see a clip

because of course they're going to get a short season. It's going to be one of those, but it's like New York where they get a short season and they keep showing us clips of what they've already shot because I have to condense it. So we see them at dinner and she's like, well, you know, I really can't get out of town this year because of the business mother. So, you know. And they're like holding her hands. We were gonna do something. So she's decided just to have this roast.

And Stephanie's like, um, Dantra doesn't really take people criticizing her or making fun of her too well. I don't think she really knows what a roast is. Yeah. She thinks it's like a spit roast. I mean while Carey has finally joined the yet the she's finally put herself into that thing and she's like, oh I was hoping this workout would give me orgasm but instead he's killing me. Got it. Okay got it. Your vagina works. So then Brandy's at some bar and she's like, can I have just

skinny, can I have just skinny margaritas and sornachos. And it turns out she's with leelocking. I know shocking twist. I mean, we heard that they were in a better place, but they were like chummy if they were having, they were having drinks together with the kung fu saloon. Saloon. Yeah, I'm not sure about it. Whatever that is. I'm not sure about it. I'm okay with it, because like I said, if there are a few that had gone on another season that would have gone real old. So, you know, it's weird. It felt weird.

It felt weird to watch them be so chummy and happy and like watch them make jokes about gray hairs. But, you know, here's the thing. Here's what I've learned. So they kept on saying the reason why they became friends is that they went to a baby shower in the off season and they just got along so well and they'd laughed and laughed and laughed. And I was like, you know what, this is real proof that duress bonds people, okay? Because if you're stuck at a baby shower, truly one of the worst things that humanity

has ever devised, it just shows that's all we had to put them give them a hardship and that will bring them together It's like pledges in a fraternity. Well, I came to this season like Hillary Clinton with that reset button with Putin I was like all right. Let's just start over okay, so I'm I'm I'm here for it, but I'm cautious So yeah, they're choking about how How a brandy found one gray hair and Leanne's like bitch I got a school strike and How Brandy found one gray hair and Leanne's like bitch, I got a school strike and Leanne's doing that thing where she keeps talking over Brandy every time Brandy tries to say something she's like oh, oh, I know what you mean, and then she just talks over and she's talking really loudly It's basically like going to lunch with me and I was like this won't last so I got to think I think Brandy's I think Brandy's gonna eventually snap

No, it will definitely not definitely Definitely will not last, but in the meantime, they're still gonna at least try to make it seem like it's gonna last because Lance says, you know what, I have always had a very soft place for you. It's called my ass, my ass. That's what you belong, my ass. Oh, did I say that out loud? I am so sorry, but at least I'm telling you

to your face, friends forever. And she's doing that thing where she's like, giving a testimony to a little church. She's like, I have soft, soft spot for you. face friends forever. This is why Leanne is great, because she just brings mello drama in ways that other real housewives not gonna say their names, but maybe smile smithards, made that they just don't understand,

like mello drama, this is what we live for. So Brandi, I thought Brandi was gonna get matched, because she's like, well, the way that Leanne said it, made it sounds like an afterthought. Like, I'm delist or something, but it's still nice to be thought of. I was like, whoa.

I know. I know. This means Randy's positioning yourself to go after Stephanie. I mean, look, I'm just looking at our old playbook, but we know that doesn't happen because they have a podcast together. I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm so confused confused was like it

maybe she was preparing to go after carry doober and then said they did a carry switch and others carry with the k and she's like uh... okay well i'll figure this out mean it's kind of funny oh go ahead sorry i thought because leana deandre basically their friendship fell apart over the fact that the andra be here for a brandy and now leana's friends brandy and then brandy went and told lian

that she went to all the girls all the stuff lian was saying behind their back yeah that's why i love the show so whatever so um yeah so then she goes you know if off from now on i want us to talk with us you know i don't want it to be talked about the group now someone says lian called you a piece of shit then you I want you to call me and go, bitch.

Why'd you call me a piece of shit? And I'll go, bitch. Cause that's the way I don't want all this talking and people influence each other. How to be friends with Andrews a bitch, right? You know the other day that life, that was a live out of policy. So, so now that we've settled all that uh you're gonna give me my phone back from Denmark now right because we're friends yeah so she immediately is like oh you don't believe a word of that apology dandruff gave me do you do you yeah exactly and you know I don't remember what Brandy said to that, but Leon essentially says that

she thinks that the apology was not enough because she's been processing and thinking, and she's still angry, and she feels like she actually deserves more than just that apology. She deserves a bigger and larger apology. Right. And so she is telling Brandy that Dandar is a bitch because of that. So she's trying to sway Brandy and then Brandy in return says, yeah, well, you know, I thought we used to have these moments where we had so much fun, but I did feel like you were missing that when you were friends with Deandra.

She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmmhmm You are so classically yourselves right now. Yeah, so Leanne tells us listen. This is what I need from the Andra I need her to say I'm sorry. I made up lies about your fiance. I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend and I want to do better I'm sorry that I stole your blockbuster card and you were not able to rent all those videos that you would want to rent for all those years And now blockbuster is closing. I'll never get to rent them. I wanted apology for that. I'm sorry that I stole your haircut. I am sorry that my husband is cheating on me so I had to blame your husband.

I am sorry. I was like you're not going to get all that. You know, you need to shorten your Amazon wish list. You need like three affordable things on there, okay? Just say I want a bag of Doritos and some sort of apology for something. So then, things that are like attainable, okay, although honestly, I'm not sure if Doritos are attainable, given Deandra's financial state. So, I mean, it's her words. She's like, okay, not go there. I do not have the money

anymore. So, now we get to see the troll trolley and this is exciting because we got to see the trolley from the outside From the inside and going up the street. It was like a real big trolley moment. Yeah, they gave us the trolley driver. I mean, thank you producers. Yeah, we thank you guys. We appreciate the shit you're giving us. Thank you. For a few years, we had to sit through scenes of Brandy dealing with her children who were just fully out of control. I've always been like, Brandy, you got to control your children. This is the first time I think I started to feel a little bit bad for Brandy because now her eldest daughter is really graduating from a monster to a word that no one should ever call a little girl. She is really a real housewife.

She's a real housewife. Yeah, yeah. She's basically become a real housewife to open a tiny little body. So I don't want to wear that. It's ugly. There you stupid. Fuck you.

I'm like she's full arm. Yeah, so basically Brandi is gonna take Brooklyn shopping because she's concerned that since Brandi has been spending a lot of time with Bruin that Brooklyn has been feeling neglected and is acting out. So Brandi's gonna have some like mother daughter time and you know, slash bribery time by getting her spoiled

Spolling her with some clothes and stuff so they they hop into the car and Brandy's like it's exciting to hang out with you today Aren't you excited and she's I'm not Just look really yeah really yeah Really that's so rude just he said that to me nice. I'm not an attitude as long as I want now if you'll excuse me She puts in her earphones and like starts playing on our iPad listen you little effort That's when I grab that iPad and I slam it over your head and I throw you out the window and call CPS Okay, yeah, and blame your father who's been ignoring my ass too.

Yeah, that's when I start looking into military school. Like, I don't know, like this is, this is no good, okay? No good, Brandy, I know you don't want to discipline your kids the way you got disciplined and you don't have to be that extreme, but like, how about this? Like, do you have an old refrigerator box that you can put them in and like, duct tape them in for like at least two hours, something like that.

Listen, I always say dog crates. They're easy, they're big. You just have to make sure that the animal can actually turn all the way around and reach its water. OK? It's better than beating them. Try it. We're taking it in 1920.

Yeah. So they shot me 20. Maybe she just wants a taco salad Yeah, so they Maybe she just wants a taco salad and hasn't been able to articulate it yet So the taco salad apocalypse is coming so they get to the store and Brandy is like Are you feeling a little bit better? And she's like do you think I spend more time with Brinkley and Bruin than I do with you? She goes, I don't really care. She just bit member when we used to talk and like, I would crawl into bed with you and she goes, that's disgusting mother.

AHHHHH! Bleh! Hey, Brad. Brad? Brad is like, if anything's bothering you, you can always come to me. Nothing's bothering me! I feel like you've been very moody lately. You're the one who's moody! I feel like shopping with you is the key to your heart. Just now is the key to your heart! I'm just gonna keep it your heart! BEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE- Oh my god monster monster. I'll never do that to the world ultimately brandy buys her daughter

$729 worth of clothing and toys and she's like well, I guess I'm guilty of bribery I'm like, how do you think you got into this mess in the first place? Yeah, but you know That's probably how you keep a marriage to you. It's like a circle of bribery, you know Brassie's like Brian get away with a lot of shit too. She has a very nice car in a gorgeous home So it's like a circle of robbery. Oh, like a salad. Oh, Brooklyn's starring at the Lion King. She's like, fuck you, super Lion!

Boom! It ends right at the very beginning. I don't care about them. You love tonight. Uh, so then we get silence. I don't care about them, you love tonight! So then we get silence, but then we see Martini's being shaken and swanky music starts playing and it's date night with rich and Liam! Liam can't walk in her shoes. We've all found the person who made this shoe. I mean, stick him onto the tributton, make him go around for three hours straight! Now listen here, Madolo Blanonic. Like that she's like trying to point as much attention

as she can down to her red souls. You know, it's like, oh these shoes, these red souls are painful. Oh, Manolo, oh, oh, oh, Lou Beton, why do you torture me so? Now I understand why they're red souls and the blood of supermodel's feats, which I guess is in my feats too.

Yeah, who is the one with the red souls? Luba Todd. Oh, it's Luba Todd. Sorry, sorry everybody. Sorry, Luba Todd. Manolo Blonike, I of course know mainly because of O.J. Simpson. And of course, it's the same designer

that Collar Richards got a passive aggressive birthday gift for Lisa Van der Okay so this date might with Leanne and Rich. Now the way they shoot this scene is so funny because they show them ordering drinks and she gets a margarita and he gets a diet coke but by the end of the scene he is like falling over drunk. Like what? How long have you guys been there? He is and like I feel like his shirt just keeps on unbuttoning and revealing like three different layers of undershirts It's like there's so I just feel like all I see is undershirts. So Yeah, so it starts off sort of romantically. He's like I remember the first not you and I were together and

I sat down on that couch and I said at least I get one day with her One day I got one day with this princess and Reddit it ever since am I right? She's like we met online and I was like he's hot so I open that door then I smilt my breath and I thought you know Brush my teeth to a panties on love granny panties. Oh So they start talking like they've never done this scene before, okay? We've seen you guys have this exact same conversation five times. Remember when we met online? Yeah, and I thought you were the prettiest girl on that couch, Leanne.

So he just keeps getting drunker and drunker. And they tell a story of when they got home that Rich said we are not having sex on this first date and she goes so what that meant to me was zip it down take it out is stick it in and I was like well there you go you've written your vows I have to words I threw a ring on it and one myself is stuffed animal she goes she goes she goes told him to aim it squirt it and wait till the balloon popped if you wanted to win something Remember the first question you asked me in bed. You said, have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?

And now he goes, yep, and you said you cheated on every single boyfriend. Okay bad start. That's right That's right. And then he goes, but you know what though for someone who said that they have cheated on every boyfriend But you don't want a cheat on me. That's something that even a cop believes. I was like, that sounds like the worst cover story in the world. Yeah. So then, um, yeah, they talk about fucking stuff and then they talk, she's like, I know that little girl's dream of being married, but I never even had that dream. I'd never even had that dream. You know what Mod dream was? Mod dream was trying to down an entire bottle of you who at the top of the Ferris wheel before it came back down again. That was Mod dream. Or I could like it. Or I could like it.

So then she goes, just I know that I'm gonna be the first Cinderella from Dallas, which is again, textbook melodrama that I love that Dallas gets me. Yeah. Also, have you seen Stephanie's house? Have you seen Blonde Stephanie's house in the ball gown over there? You know, she's the one talking to birds. Yeah, she literally has blue birds in her bathroom that she pays So Lee Lee, I'm like, where do you see us in five years rich?

And he's like in divorce court thinking God when did she get so mean? It's like oh god, I've already been there mean rich I've already been that mean No, also by the way, could you imagine Lee and the glass slipper that would not work that well? I know what the hell is wrong with this slipper it's glass. That's not comfortable I have a hard enough time the loop of tens lasting on is glass. Oh great. You know I broke it now. I'm bleeding Oh, guess what now I got those red souls She's like stabbing her opponents with it

It's like Cinderella when she finally like just slits the throats of the step-sisters, you know, with her class slipper. Yeah, exactly the real story. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is team jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums.

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Crapins commercial. So now we go over to a restaurant where Leanne and Deandra are going to have their summit. And so Leanne sits down there and she gets a glass of wine. And then Deandra comes in wearing this crazy Outfit with like a million ruffles on the lapel. It looks like she'd gathered a bunch of brown paper bags and just pinned them To her neck. Well, you know how they they were like oh look we're so we're so open now in America

We're gonna let homosexual serving the army now You know why they did that because they were running out of fucking people Okay, that's why they let gay people serve. Sorry, and I'm thank you gay people for serving I'm thank you. I'm proud of our country, etc But my point is they finally started putting clowns in the military that was like a khaki military uniform with clown ruffles like Dandrop you're not that poor come on It chapter three It has a drink with Liam. Yeah, chapter three in Iraq.

It's like I thought I was supposed to be the manifestation of your fears, but so I got enlisted. You're sorry. It's tacky. It's like I always worried about other people's fears, but I never thought about what my fear was. It's Leanne. They're so passive aggressive with each other and I love it because you can tell they

really have been like frenemies forever because they're coming in. Leanne doesn't even look up. She's just looking at her phone, pretending she's like cloning the squirrel system at the restaurant or whatever. And the under comes in and she's like, hello, I'm champagne already. Actually, it's Rose. Oh, okay, that's lovely. Okay. So she's like, well, I just want to have a conversation away from everyone else because I just wanted to err out between you and me. And then the waiter comes over. He's like, um, can I get you anything to drink? Or he comes up for the wine? Well, I just last again, he's another person again in the middle of a U.S. relationship. Am I right?

Am I right? Chatea guys. Chatea guy waiter. The entire town's already involved. I mean, don't think I don't see your crazy floor. So over there in the corner with his bucket hat of the camera inside it. All yeah waiters are not having the best episode today there's a lot of waiter abuse on this episode of Dallas so uh... leon orders burrata and andro orders a mean cheese tray which i don't know why i found that so interesting but every other show they order salmon cesar salad yeah uh... yeah bur Barada had a big night tonight. This is the first of two times it was ordered.

So very excited. I'm very proud of you, Barada. Barada, you've come so far. Yeah, Barada really, you know, we're going to be throwing you a roast. Yeah. Congratulations, Monterello. I'm finally getting wet. Well, this is the news.

Turns out that mother is taking away the company from me and giving it to some barata so there you go and they actually turned a profit can you believe that mother i love barata on a taco salad the first time i met barata was when i was at leance house for a taco So, um, Leanne's like, well, uh, you know, uh, I wanted, I was thinking the other day, after you, after we were talking at that, at that little friend party, and you were saying, something about my wedding. Do you remember that? And Deandra's just like, um, um, check well. I thought that that wedding might not have existed, had I not had the foundation with my fiance that I have and I am hurt and

Angry and I just want you to know where I truly am And you know what I appreciate your honesty mother and by the way before we go any further you got this lunch right? It's like because if you don't I can eat the gum in my purse. Just tell me now mother. So I said, well, you know I appreciate that. I do not want to rehash the past. And I just want to own up to what I did because good friends do not do things like what I did.

But they both are talking so evenly to each other. Because let's face it, Deandra learned how to apologize from her mother, okay, and her mother is the queen of the not real apology that somehow gets under your skin. Yeah, so Leanne's like, well, here's what I need you to say. I need you to say, I never should have brought rich into the conversation. I never should have said rich with cheating.

I never should have stolen my hair. I never should have even gotten on the show Who do you think it? You know, she has like this huge fucking list for the other and Andrew's just looking at her like she's about to blow Yeah, and the ender's like well, I can't say mother that rich never cheated because that's the truth that I know So what else am I supposed to say mother? So she's like, well, Legan, I apologize for what I did. And I should not have gotten into your relationship, especially as the queen bee of this group that was far beneath me. So I am sorry that I ruined my duties in that way as queen bee. And friends don't do that. And queen bees don't do that to peons. So I apologize for that. I'm saying, well, actions have to follow words. And it was two weeks after that meeting

and I still hadn't heard from you. It's like, but you said you wanted baby steps mother. So I gave you steps that, you know, these are small steps. And she's just trying to, they're both stay like lians going for it. But the Andres just like, I'm going to stay calm. I'm not going to fight because now the storyline is my husband cheating You know, so she's like you better shut the fuck up now. I'm pouring my husband's cheating Yeah, so what do I do right so she just takes it and she's listen I'm sorry. I said something about rich not being faithful and let's move on is that what you want me to say and they I was like yeah, yeah actually yeah She's well I'm putting the volleyball in your court. Okay, that was that was a very specific

Very specific reference that that metaphor she's like, I'm not just putting a ball in your court. I'm putting a volleyball. Okay Do not let that volleyball sail away. Okay, cuz that is your only friend in this town So she's like, well, okay, cuz that is your only friend in this town So she's like well, okay, well follow ball. Okay. Well I'd love for you to come over to my birthday party. It's gonna be a rose. You should love that You should love that. It'll be a rose It lands like well, I'm gonna go, but we all know it's not gonna be a rose Okay, it's gonna be people blowing smoke up her ass So then danders like the under gets another dick in there. She goes, have you written your vass yet?

Well, Rich wrote his. Well, have you talked to your mother? When she knows it, Leanne doesn't speak with her mother. Like, she knows that relationship's not good. So Leanne goes, well, no, because I don't have the same relationship with my mother. She doesn't have financial hold over me. So I don't have to grovel.

I'm just here to soundtrack to do like a top ship swing. Like I thought Padma was just going to come over to the table and say, did you mean to burn her to her core? Did you mean to roast both of your mothers in this passive aggressive conversation? And Sandra looks so mad. I have a message from the other table. My dear friend Gail Simmons wants to know if you're done with your barada yet, and if she can have it. Hi, my dear friend Gail Simmons is asking for her shirt back, Dandra. That would be great.

Hi, my good friend Gail Simmons wants to know all the details about the roast. What sort of meats will be involved. Thanks. And Tom Colekius is like, well, you know, the one that you said about her mother, that was cool. But then when you said about her mother, that's actually current. So, you know what, I'm going to have to go with the correct joke. And I'm going to hand that one to you, Leon. Good job. Good job. You know, you know, I mean, I think it's a good thing that Leon, your mother, doesn't have financial holdover you. Yeah. You know, sometimes I dream of the day that I don't have to have a financial hold over my son. Ooh, chose a path as a mixel,

just even though his father's a world class. Sure. You're both total idiots, but you know what? At least you're better than my son. So he's actually over there making your drinks. Hey, hey. Hey. So Dan, we're getting so mad.

I'm so mad. Well, actually, the company is mine. It's all a mine, fully mine. Okay, there's nothing to buy from my mother. So, there's no financial hole. There's nothing there. She was, oh really? So, you're not paying for that bandly anymore?

It's like, no. And you're not paying for the housekeepers? No. And you're not paying for the country clubs? No, she took it off the payroll and the country clubs. Oh, the country club is off the payroll! And the android is staring at her like, fuck you, bitch. Fuck you. My mother already got like my mother already, like, you

know, checkmated me. And now you're doing it to and I will not will not have this. I will not have this. Is there anything else we need to talk about? And then at that time, they put up a thing on the bottom that's like coming soon to on NBC perfect harmony. I was like not on this show not on this show Yeah, they need the ABC one emergence or the CBS one that just says evil So they are so hating each other and I'm loving it I remember last season I was really upset when they fought I was like no, I want them to be friends and this this is like, no, this is perfect. Cause the end

of guess, well, do we have anything else to say, mother? Well, I did this. I feel much better. Cheers to the last bit of alcohol we've got. Last bit of alcohol also known as friendship. So eat your barata fatty. Now we go over to Carrie and her husband Eduardo going over to a restaurant. I think they go to a restaurant called Crew, which if I'm not mistaken is the restaurant that I seem to only see at airports and apparently also in Dallas. So they go to this restaurant and Carrie orders barata back to back barata. I mean, I mean, here we thought this is going to be the taco salad episode, but Barata. Barata is the new core water.

Like Barata is sitting around at home watching this with a whole family of cheeses. Yeah, Barata is really just like. Barata is the Hillary's swank of cheese right now, like two-time winner. Barata just forgot to think her husband, Matsu Rela. I'd like to thank Cheddar, I'd like to thank Gouda, Yidam. I mean even Swiss, you know what? We had problems there for a while, but you know what? Even you, holy, you with your, with your whole life. Yeah, and you know what? And Grier, like I was saying, you go Grier, you go Grier, girl. No, so good. I learned so much. And you know, most of all, I just,

I wanna thank American actually. You may be pasteurized, but you're still cheese. Thank you. Lots of real is over crying in a corner, like, mm-hmm, I can take it. This isn't gonna lead to divorce at all. So speaking of leading to divorce, carries a monster, and I love it. This isn't going to lead to divorce at all. So speaking of leading to divorce, Kerry's a monster. I love it.

What great casting. Yeah. So Kerry and Eduardo have a scene. So in my mind, the scene was like very quick and very intense. And I barely remember anything that happened, even though I wrote down everything that happened. It was just like hard. It was rough. Okay. So they sit there and say,

well, so I stopped this date night together. It's very nice that we're paying attention to each other. She's automatically kind of going for him. The first she tells them that she had lunch with her daughter who's about to go over to college. So we see the clip of that lunch and she's like, are you excited to go to college, honey? And she goes, yes, to get out of here. Oh. So she's talking about that. And then the waitress comes over and she's like, well, we have some specials tonight.

It's just, oh, no, we want to have some appetizers. So we'll have this and this. So she doesn't let her read the specials. Yeah. So she goes, okay. And what will you have for dinner? She's like, no, no, we'll have the appetizers. And it was like, well but what about the entres?

We're not gonna have appetizer. We're not gonna start with appetizer. Why don't we have appetizer first? And they didn't talk about the entres. And the waitress is standing by the husband and she's just looking at the husband like, what do I do? You know, I'm being bossed around, what do I do? And he goes, okay. And the music was so tense and I was like sitting there like this I was like why am I so tense about this entree appetizer situation because she's being such a bitch And she's doing it like to her husband and the waiter who doesn't deserve it that poor waitress She's like, okay, I'll come back later. She goes good and then she's like what? What I hate when they do that we can't have the appetizers. We have to have the dinner to

I'm like that that's usually the way it works at least. You're about to start fighting with a fucking waitress, okay? You are perfect, you're hired forever. But then Eduardo is also being crazy because she's, because, uh, Kerry is saying how Olivia is going to college, they have like an app where you get to like pick your roommate for college or whatever and he's like, what? You get to pick your roommate for people. She doesn't even know. She's like, that's how college works.

No one knows anyone in college. And it's just like it was just so tense so quickly over nothing. I like. Yeah. I mean, he's like, uh, well, honey, you know, it doesn't have to be this big of a deal. She's like, you're the one saying that she's going to be with the stranger. Oh, this is so fun being up with you for date, mate. I'm like, what is going on with this couple?

Yeah. And so then now, Carrie starts saying, so you know, like how, uh, I was saying, you know, how Deandra has like a 50th birthday is coming up. So I was thinking that we could invite the girls down to the house and Karayas, you know, and like it'd be like really fun. And everything is like, okay, cool. Like can I order not right now? Or like we just... Hehehehe. She goes, Meredith is so stupid,

like who even invented marriage? You better try harder next time. This next year, you better be very nice and goes, oh, and you're kind of difficult sometimes. And she goes, oh yes, it's always my fault. She's like, well, you, babe, you're kind of in your own universe. All that one, okay.

Hehehehe. Well, at least in my universe, we have apps before we have entrees, okay? Yeah. A universe where people aren't shoving food down your face. So now, you want to hear the specials now? Yeah. It's like, please, just want to know. So now we go over to Deandra getting her makeup done for her big roast. So she's got gays and stuff.

And then Brandy and Stephanie are in Travis or pre-gaming also. And Stephanie is like really worried that she is going to mess up her roast because she doesn't like speaking in public. And that's, she's a fridge. She's really just going to be terrible, but Brandy practiced hers for two hours straight in the shower. And then I felt a surge of pride in my heart when they got to this part in the car.

They all get in with their husbands and they start making fun of each other's laughs how they laugh. Like we've done on this fucking show now for three years and I love it. We've always called them Beavis and Butthead and they gave them a Beavis and Butthead moment. Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Which I know has nothing to do with us

but it still makes me so proud as a fan to see that. I'm like, guys, we feel seen. We feel seen. So then we go over to the venue. And one of the great benefits of this show is that we get a sneak peek into the world of Dallas Gays, which are really a whole special subsets of gay culture. Like really, like, paisley colors, shapes, proportions, everything is like a little wacky.

And I met a kid from Dallas just a real quickie, but I met a friend from Dallas, and I didn't have a quickie, but just a quick story, who was friends of my cousin, or cousins of my cousin. And he's gay and he came here and he had a really tough time because he came up in a very conservative family in Texas. And so, you know, I did too.

So we talked about that and I was like, but Dallas, I said, I haven't seen much of the gay Dallas scene, but what I've seen has been the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life. And I'm a 44 year old very out of the closet gay man. Like that is some, That is some gay shit. I mean that is some game like big big gallon pink Pink belt what was it felt? No light blue felt gallon hat Yeah, so basically there is this guy who we found out was the andras florist and he is wearing this

It looks like you know, it looks like, you know what, it looked like an ear plug. It looked like a giant powder blue ear plug. It was like this tall gallon half thing, it was like round on the top, it was like, I like a bowler, but that was like a tall bowler hat or something like that. And then his hair was flat iron.

And he was wearing this like white button down shirt that had these blue stripes, but they weren't stripes, I don't know if it was like hair or like cascading, whatever it was, it was just garish and crazy. It just makes me so proud as a Texan to see that much gayness. You go gay community in Dallas. I'm proud of you, I stand for you,

and also just as a housewives fan, it is amazing seeing somebody compete with the gays of Dallas. I mean, um, Atlanta. Yeah. Yes. Well, well, there you go. Stand up world. So then Jeremy and Deandra walk in and he starts grabbing her butt, but he's like

up and in there. He's like up and fingering her butt. Yeah. He was like, he's like looking for like the emergency button for like a trapdoor in there. I don't know. It was like in and up. I hate when they do that shit.

And he's like, yeah, that's a 50 year old butt right there. Like, is that supposed to be a compliment person bringing a box of donuts for your rich ass wife? Yeah, exactly. So I'm out of Jeremy because I believe, whenever I hear a cheating rumor, I believe them because I believe that you should always believe in the lowest rumor you hear because it's usually the truest one

And so now I hate Jeremy. Sorry, I know it's not fair But I'm at it him for cheating on Deandra and I also would like to find out who pretty Jessica is so So mom and D is like, Lord help me. I have not been at night club in a long time I do not like to hang out with Satan's children. Am I right? Am I right? I guess I've been too busy running a business Deandra So she's like dandra we need to have top for a second. I need to have chat with you I'm just like oh god, but what is this mother in my mind the hot seat? She goes with that

Say it dandra. What's that? I'll see so she sits up real straight inside dandra I just wanted to say you you are a lovely girl. And I'm so excited to be here to celebrate your 50th birthday with you. Thank you so much, honey. Thank you so much. Thank you. And like I always say,

don't give a rip about what other people say about you. They may say that you're not the real Queen B. They may say that you're stealing Leanne's look. They may say that you're not the real queen bee. They may say that you're stealing Leanne's look. They may say that you're crazy, a crazy person. They may say that you never should have pushed your mother out of the business she worked hard to build after all these years.

And they may say you're not equipped to take it out of the hole that your mother put it in intentionally, passive-gressively towards you. But you say, I do not give a rip. You say I do not give a rip. And then you stand up there and you look like a pretty Jessica. That's what you give them. So, Dan just like, oh, thank you, mother.

Thank you so much for the party. Because of course, of course, of course. So she's like, thank you, thank you so much mother. Thank you so much for mother for this party. It's so beautiful. And then she tells us she's like, I mean, I like party and everything it's really nice but it would be nice I'd rather have access to my trust fund I mean that would be better I mean I'm upset yeah I'm upset like you were such a brat I'm like I believe you're saying this shit on

national TV I cannot wait to see Mama D's prevention next season seriously seriously season. Seriously, seriously. So now there's like more Dallas gaze. Just like, it's just like colors and patterns. It's a blizzard, if you will. Well, yes, because then, yes, I was going to say, like we see Stephanie walking in. Stephanie looks like my junior prom, which I love. And Kerry comes in and she invites everyone to Mexico. They're like, yeah, and of course, she was like, yeah, sure. Yeah, of course, yeah, that's what a great idea is if they, you know, like production had already told them

that they're going to Mexico next week. And then Cameron walks in and that's when we see John Blizzard himself making a crossover appearance on Real Housewives of Dallas. Yeah, he's everywhere that guy thirsty. Hope you got some punch. Yeah, seriously. So he's there and cameras like,

happy birthday, girl. Yeah. Taco Salad. Tee. Taco Salad. Tee. Tee. Taco Salad.

I thought global Pat X-Bow. Taco Salad, T global PX-Po. Taco Salad to you, girl. She's like, I love girls trips. I'm like, porfe4 in a moss margarita, new hair. I am like the queen of the girls trips, like Donda at the margarita. That's what I learned on Taco Salad day. reach out. That's what I learned on Taco Salad Day. So Dandra gets the microphone. Like everyone would shut up. Mother fat means you. Because mom and dad just the loud sat there. Do you just give you this stink eye from across the nightclub? It's like it's bad enough. You take me

into this space with all the heathens and now you got to call me out. Yeah. She's just like, we've sat herself on and changed. It's the PID number on all the accounts immediately? Yeah. Little do you know that Emilia is giving me money on her table to pay for my Bentley on the conglubs? So Stephanie is up to roast Deandra first. And Deandra gets up, I mean, she gets up there and she's like, Deandra, I was really nervous to do this because my biggest fear in life is getting on stage and the crowd being dead and my looks at the room Most of you already are

Dead dead people I said people if you talk of salads coming at me I just see taco salads in glitter jackets coming straight for me. So Tandra, I knew that I knew that when you were gonna come to Dallas, like you were gonna bring class and sophistication to my friend's group and money. And boy, it was so wrong. And Mama B is like, good one, burn, burn, everyone that was again, someone record that, can we put that on social media?

Okay, I like that. I like that, Stephanie, she's a true teller, isn't she? There ain't nothing like a poor roast You know one thing that I love is that how we get to sit home and like hang out while our spouses work hard to support our lifestyle I'm not talking about you to Andrew. I'm talking to Jeremy. I'm talking to Jeremy. I was like She was really funny. I never was cracking up. And then no one else really did a good one. Leigh-Han comes in the back. She comes in the back. Did you see she stops to look around. And there's this old queen standing back. She goes like this. Leigh-Han gave her a triple look up and down and then turned away. Yeah, he was momentarily captivated by her infinity dress.

He's like, I don't know what begins or where it ends. What the hell? I just heard a mini skirt. Wait a second, there's a case now. Wait in a glove. So Leon enters and then we get like the best new game show that Bravo has ever premiered called Nauterost. Nauterost. Nauterost, man. Nauterost.

It's like her Jeff Foxworthy like Routine. So yeah, so everyone gets up to give a roast. First of all, you know this party is terrible because if you have everyone giving a roast, especially if they're like not all roast, it probably just goes on and on and on. So Steve the floor is the guy with the the Perry Winkle bucket hat Her Winkle, huh?

He is like She might be the queen bee to you But she's a fucking wonder woman to me baby and everyone's like Not a roast And then like the assistant gets up and she's like, you know what? Like after three weeks, I was like, this isn't just my boss. She's a friend. Cut the liam.

Also, not a roast. Not a roast. Not a roast. This has been, uh, I hope you enjoyed your flight and I encourage you to fly again on not a rose there lunch Then a lady's like on the day I met the andra I fell in love not a roast not a roast not a roast Let's see. Oh, I got some mail. Let's see what's in here. I'll tell you what's not in here. I roast Hey waitress can I have your top ship not a roast That would be great

Hey, is it a is it already 12 o'clock? No, I guess it's not a roasted clock The parotta gets on stage. It's like I really like being eaten by Deandra not a roast Barotta you lose not a roast not a roast not a roast move it along and then gets on the guest. I love you so much. I love hanging out with you Even though sometimes your hair can curl a little bit Not a roast Not a roast So then when Carrie comes back to the group, Leighanne goes, that wasn't a roast and she goes, but I did that bit about the hair Not a roast, not a roast

not a roast not a roast not a roast so Brandy did kind of a good one she's like she's older and wiser and she finally found her voice and it's Mama D's I don't give a rip and what else did she say I didn't understand this whole thing I'm changing the name of the company from hard neck good morning to heart sell good readings. Now that was a roast. That was a roast. It's not a good one, but it was a roast. That was a roast because she's my friend currently. So that was a current roast. That was a current roast. That was a friend.

It was a roast. It was a roast. But I was served the right to take that. It was a roast judgment back. If I get fucked over by selling it. It is a roast pending review. roast pending roast pending roast pending roast okay all right so uh Liam's like well I would like to speak and then it cuts to a gay guy going uh like the Andrus Banks I will be there for you

And then another guy goes I love playing referee between you and your mother and mama G Go so he has to because he handles all our money By our money, I mean my money So then we get Jeremy coming up with this big box and it's the same wrapping paper that the hamburger wears, which I was already like Jeremy, you really need Jeremy, there's cheating rumors, okay? There's pretty Jessica. You better have found a way to squeeze some coal in your cornhole, some coal in your cornhole into a diamond because you got to pull something big out here.

Yeah. It gets her 50 donuts. Yeah, he gets up there and he has this whole thing. Well, he goes, first of all, he goes, Deandra has an insatiable love for food. I'm just like, they're like, hmm, not a roast, but it is a nag, so I will accept it. That's a nag.

And then Cam got, but the best part is, at the point, did you notice that one? Jeremy says, Deandra has an insatiable love for food. Cameron goes, I love you too. Give her a talk. It's so bad.

Not a roast cam. Not a roast. She's a roaster in training. He's like, my wife loves donuts. Now there's 50 things in this box and all the girls are like, oh no. The camera's like, if my husband gave me 50 donuts on my birthday, I'd be pissed. Not a roast, but an interesting comment. So, that's definitely like, 50 cars, 50 diamonds, 50 dresses, 50 taco salads.

Wow, that's, I love that Christmas car. I didn't know it got off that high. 50 donuts in a box, 49 taco salads, 48 baratas. What's the rest? 47. 40 and redone, uh, it's in her mouth at one time and a part 3 that the answer is he almost made me cough up my legs so the thing is this when Jeremy said he goes well I got her 45 I'm

5 good joke and I was thinking in my mind it would be like 45 donuts and then like a ring or something Five. Good joke. And I was thinking in my mind, it would be like 45 donuts and then like a ring or something because like donut, you know, like, and it's a donut, check it out. A very small one that it's on her finger. He got her, he got her donuts. He got her fucking donuts and I think Danter thought like you did that there was a ring in one of them. Yeah.

She just started eating the half of every donut. She just started shoving them in her mouth like to see if there was something in the donuts and her friends are just like, oh my god. And it goes, if it's not edible or glued down, she shows it in her mouth. Ha, that was good. I think we could become friends, Leanne. Did you mean to have such a withering attack? That's what I call a rose. No, it's a term gal. There's no poor. Oh my god. So now like the sad is basically it's very sad. So Deandra is like just really seeking out like anything in one of these donuts and and so then it's now time for Leanne to come off on stage.

And the assistant tells the android who has like five different donuts in her mouth, the good and the bad kind that like, uh, Leanne wants to talk and he's like, great, fine, send her up. So Leanne comes, Leanne comes walking up the stage and what a guy goes, be nicely and and she goes bot my dick roast Speculator roast oh so she gets up there. It's like oh me I am here you shock you bonded me and I was like oh god what's gonna happen I actually felt really tense yeah yeah because it would have not been right for Leanne to

roast because they're not like very yet And I was afraid she was just going to just not stick this landing so she goes well It's your 50th birthday as I've been spotted memories of the 50 donuts that were here 10 seconds ago I remember when I turned 50 and It sucked so welcome to the party roast example roast example but no one's laughing because They know that they hate each other and the ender Gus. It doesn't suck. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun mother. It's fun. I'm turning 50 Yeah, yeah, yeah, well you and I have been on a long journey together Although apparently I was the only one who didn't burn any carbs off that

not a long journey together, although apparently I was the only one who wouldn't have burned any carbs off that. Anyway, we have lived and lost. And I was by your side when you married Jeremy before he met pretty Jessica. And I know that we have fallen along our way, mainly you, but I want to, I want you to know that I'm taking steps forward to you. And that's all that I'm interested in right now, not a roast. And Jeremy, who is so better, he looks so pissed off and better. He's watching this thing like he's watching a sports game. You know, like when guys watch sports and their teams lose them,

they're like, chomping on you. He's like, this is a fisting us. Then prove it. Not a fucking roast. She's like, I brought you two candles from the dollar store. One is Santa Maria hoping that you won't betray her again and another is Jesus hoping that you won't crucify him again. So just like one in whichever order you'd like. She's like I'll order it in first I'll burn a donut and then I'll burn a donut because I was the most

romantic gift I've ever been given mother and I just want to clarify that just because the candle is on fire this is not a roast so she's like well I will choose hope and then forgiveness and then everyone claps and they hug and Jeremy just shrugs all bitter and then the somehow for some reason the Flores with the hat just like is like right there next to them. I'm like, what are you doing up there? You're the Flores? Why are you even at this party? Yeah, I'm loving this because this is basically now we're discovering a husband fight, right? Because guys have like the guy talk will they'll will they'll say things to each other

But you're not supposed to go home until the guy talk will they'll will they'll say things to each other but you're not supposed to go home until the Tell the wife right so Jeremy probably told Damn draw that rich was flirting or doing whatever out on the town and then we saw last week when rich got pissed off with his Text backs it back at Jeremy. They he's like well if you're gonna tell my secrets I'll tell you your fucking secrets so it's being played out with the women But it's really the guys and it's pretty interesting. It's so good. This show is so good. I really hope that those ratings were just like overnight and that like that gets a big bump with DVR viewings because that does happen.

I just think it's such a good show. This is everything that Housewives should be. It's camp, it's melodrama, it's scandal, it's fighting, it's petty, it's taco salads, it's everything I want. And we've got two housewives shows right now that are the smaller of the housewives shows, Potomac and this one that are just both. Or newer, at least. Yeah, newer, but they're just killing it. They're doing so well.

And even Orange County is doing really well. Orange County is bad. Because a lot of times people ask like, well, what do you do when the house was over? Go back to work, you know, like, wait tables again. I'm like, the house was never going to end. I mean, there's always going to be something to make fun of. But, you know, you always think of that because they've been around for so long, but man,

this show is, they're all doing really well right now. They, yeah, honestly, yeah, like OCs back, New York is just permanently a legend. And even New Jersey has become like Must Watch TV. Like it hit the bottom of the barrel and it has come back. It has clawed its way back to being just like excellent. Yeah, I think it'll be okay. Really only Atlanta and Beverly Hills

are the only ones that are really flagging right now if you ask me. Yeah, yeah, Beverly Hills has a long way to go. But Atlanta will pop right back, I think. Yeah, yeah Beverly Hills has a long way to go, but Atlanta will pop right back. Yeah Atlanta has, Atlanta just needs some calibrations and well I'm sure Atlanta will probably be back in October or November and same in New Jersey so we have plenty of stuff to link forward to and but in the meantime if you only listen to our recaps but don't actually watch Dallas or you think that Dallas is boring for whatever reason, I just can't encourage you enough to go watch it

and try to see it through our eyes and maybe you will like see what we're seeing because we're seeing amazing stuff and I would feel bad. I feel like you are deprived if you're not going to see it the way we see it. Yeah spread that gospel baby we love you guys we will talk to you next time. Go get your tickets in all the videos and all that good stuff over at watchrootcrapins.com. Talk to you next time, go get your tickets and all the videos and all that good stuff over at watchartcrapins.com. Talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. survey at 1dry.com slash survey.