Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Siesta Fiesta

Episode Date: October 11, 2017

The Real Housewives of Dallas are still in Mexico. Some choose to fiesta, some choose to fiesta. One thing is for sure, Kameron got her teeth brushed. Enjoy! For bonus episodes and extras, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Christie dowry the OG Prem Supreme and our super duper premium sponsor Kelly Grant the most gorgeous girl in Texas we love you. Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on yield brubs. I'm Ronnie Kerr from Trash Talk TV in the Rose Prick Specialer podcast, and here I am with my gorgeous talented, still kind of sick little friend, Ben Mantelker of the B-side blog in the banter blender podcast, Halobeen.

Howdy, Doody. I'm still sick, yes, but I am getting through this with the help of my dreams because last night I had a dream that I met Caroline Fleming and I told her, oh, I have your cookbook. She's like, you do? That how amazing is that? That you have my cookbook? I can't believe that. There was like another woman that she's like, he has my cookbook. I said, yeah, it's called Cook Yourself Happy, the Danish way.

She's like, ah, that is the name of the cookbook. How lucky is my cookbook to be named that and to be read by people I don't know who are coming up to me in their dreams? Well, you know what a huge travesty is, is that she was in LA last week promoting the cookbook. And she even said where she would be to sign the cookbooks. And I think I was in Austin.

And then I only saw it after the fact. And if I had seen it early enough I would have told you to go go would you have gone it was not that hard. No and it's not because I don't support Fleming because of course I do but I'm not going to a healthy cookbook signing. I would just feel free to be healthy. It's not a healthy cookbook. It is like the habit. The first page is for eating a salad you know and I just feel like a hypocrite. I feel like I'm betraying you know my dominoes brother and by standing in line. Let me tell you something. I just opened up to a random page for a Christmas duck with all the trimmings that does not sound healthy.

True. Don't you remember? I'm going to make things out of that book. I'm going to still love my flaming. I'm going to buy the book. I'm just saying standing in line for a thin book. It just makes me feel awkward like. This is not a thin book. You were you were absolutely I'm looking at it right now. I just opened up another page. There is there are like two whole chickens in like a Dutch like a big giant pot with this the creamiest looking cream sauce that could ever be ever imagined. I feel like that's a very Fleming way to say it. This is the creamiest cream sauce that could have a cream of the cream. Well to be fair what she really says about it, I might not read it she goes, Old-fashioned roast chicken with cucumber salad and white sauce was

always my father's birthday dinner. So simple, and yet to all his 78 years, it was his favorite dish. I have lots of variations on that classic dish, as all my family love it. Here, I have swapped a chicken for 2 poussins. But you can use a chicken if you prefer. I mainly serve this casserole in the winter months, as it is so delicious, comforting and cosy. Tarragon is an herb-eyed adora, and the way it infuses this dish is sensational. Taragon is an herb-eyed adora.

I adore Taragon. So I guess now would be a good moment to mention that. I think we said we were going to announce the results of our little Carolina Flaming Contest either yesterday or today, but we decided to push that to tomorrow. So if you still want to get involved with that, if you want to win your own copy of Cook yourself Happy, The Danish Way, The Cookbook of My Dreams, then post, first of all, follow us on Instagram and then post an image that, like, an ode to Carolina Fleming.

So it could be you doing yoga, it could be some food, it could be a picture of sunshine, or blueberries, fun caption, and make sure to at us, and then do hashtag, crap and slam, and hashtag, cook yourself happy. You have to do the hashtags, because when we look at our, when we finally look at the entries, we're going to click on that hashtag,

and we're gonna see everything that pops up onto that hashtag. So if you don't hashtag it, you will not see your entry. And if your profile is private, that will also be a problem. So, um, but we don't want to force anyone to become public if they don't want to be public. But everyone do that because it's actually a really cool cookbook and it's both interesting recipes and hilariously Caroline Fleming. Yes, and last announcement for the day, we do talk about this every episode. So I'll make it quick, but our November 4th SanFran show

at Social Hall is coming up. So go get your tickets. There's a couple left. So go get them. And we'll see you guys on November 4th. And for all of our ticket dates and all that good stuff, just go to watchwhatcrapins.com and you will see links there. We got some more things coming down the pike that we're arranging so just sit tight everyone

if you're waiting for us to come to your city we will probably get there so just hang on exciting things to come, exciting exciting things to come. And for today and for today. We have real housewives of Only my favorite show and Bravo right now in Mexico in Mexico Is it your favorite show and Bravo right now because it really is mine. I'm like living for the season It is very difficult for me to choose I'm really enjoying everything on Bravo right now. It's a memory I have to say. Yeah, I'm enjoying everything that we're watching right now.

Me too, me too, but I think this is my favorite. This is the one that, I do love Belodec. And I'm excited about Belodec this week. New Jersey has been entertaining in its first episode so far this season and Orange County I like and Shaw has been actually pretty entertaining in its misery. But Dallas to me, I think this is, I don't know why I just love this season.

It's not like there's even been any episodes that have had, like, there hasn't been like an iconic dinner party, right, or any fight that's been so amazingly absurd that's just gonna go in the list of top 20 Bravo fights, but it's just working for me. Yeah, it's making me laugh every single time. Yes. Exactly. It is so, so good.

Real blondes get stuff and fake blondes get everything. I've been cracking up at that all week because that's your favorite line. It is. So we're pressing. I just wrote get everything is my first minute. And it's so funny because last week we theorized that like women hate Cameron, the gay guys love Cameron and based on some comments on the Facebook pages, et cetera, it seems like that's that's coming out to be pretty true. And

and and I'm not telling people that if you hate Cameron, you should love her by all means hate her hate it hate away but if you were to Open your eyes to how hilarious and wonderful she is it'll be deeply rewarding for you It's deeply rewarding for me. Well everyone this season is really amping it up and bringing it and You know, we talk about the music on every show But this time it was really killing me on this show because every five seconds was a different music cue because they're like we're amping it up too. So first it starts with like the survivor type drums is like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then like five seconds later it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and the soundtrack to liens inner mind. In a curve, near the curve. Ah, you threatened to strangle me, Leanne. Well, we have to think about what got me to that point. You talked about my doctor, like that's a totally normal thing to strangle somebody about.

You made fun of Doctor True. So that's where we open up. We're continuing the fight from last week where Carrie is confronting Leanne about threatening to kill her or bind her back. And she's like, but you talked about my doctor. And then Brandy goes, yeah, but you did say he's literally killed people on the operating table. And Carrie's like, I did not. I did not say literally or killed or operating table or or true or doctor.

Like you're 100% making that up. I would never say that. I would never say that Camille. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I was slipping into some season one in college. Richards, that's my favorite defense that someone says. I would never say that. So therefore I didn't because I would never like um but you did say it so college or yeah this isn't a pitch meeting like that's not

a character for me to say you can't rewrite the script you already published okay yeah seriously uh but yeah I carry keeps on saying like no I didn't say that I would never say it I worked with him I worked with him. I was there when he killed someone I would never do that Well, they're really pissing Leanne and she's like I'm with the Andra and I've got a ring and I've come armed with a point So all she's doing is calmly point calmly pointing and she tells his child I got the best seat in the freaking hands. Y'all go for it So she's just gonna watch.

And this is great because Carrie has no problem just telling her, you know, allies to go fuck themselves and good for her. Because Brandy deserves it this whole episode. Yeah, it's funny because people are wondering why we're so anti-brandy. And we're not like anti-brandy. We just are, in this case, we happen to be siding with other people in these arguments. But yeah, so Carrie is furious at Brandy and she's like, I can't even talk to her anymore. I can't. I can't. And then Cameron, of course, weighs in with her, you know, because they're not getting up to the table to leave and everything and Carrie

can't deal with Brandy at the moment. And Cameron weighs in. She's like, true friends, don't put you in these positions. Carrie was put in a really bad uncomfortable position. And I feel bad for her. I have her back. Low Ciento for favor. Piso mojado. Guacamole.

Okay. Sikido to quito right? Some chips get salsa. Other chips get everything. Those are called nachos. Some salsa are vera day. Other salsa are everything day. I have nachos back. So they're deciding, like, fuck this, we've already fought in this back cave or whatever. So curious, I can't,

I'm walking away and Cameron goes, okay, boo. And then curious, like, oh my god, she said boo, which is really crazy. The camera said boo, and I love that everybody's realizing that. Like, Cameron's coming out of her shell, little by little, she's saying things like boo now. She's saying colloquialisms, it's amazing. Or maybe she thought because there were an haunted bat cave that she should be spooky. Boo.

Some bats are scary. All bats are really scary. Boo. Did I do it right? Boo. Vampires. So they're walking around part of the story. I was throwing it at the same time. I wasn't being shady. It worked. Some bats are everything. I think that has to always end with everything.

Jump that, get rabies. Smart fats, get everything. Not, not, not Pat. So Dandra is now fully on the housewives train. She's been trained. She's used to it. And now these talking head sessions, she's just basically running a business meeting with Janet as her only audience member, you know, like in the Jackie, Jackie, yes, with Jackie is her the employee from the factory as her only member. She's like trying to sell everything now. She's like, I am on the fan train now, not the bitchie trying. And

if you're not on the fan train, you can go home. And then she's like, I am on the fan train now, not the bitchy train. And if you're not on the fan train, you can go home. And then she's like pointing at the camera and winking and like doing those gunshot things with her finger. I have to say, I have this board game called Terraforming Mars. It's a great game. I've went to buy it. And there are, you're in the game, you're, you're supposed to be like terraforming Mars, like making Mars habitable by playing different cards. Super Georgie, super fun. And like the different cards are things like introducing animals to the planet or introducing

this or that or increasing oxygen. And one of the cards, I just saw they just released like new cards that you can get. And one of them said snow algae. And I was like, Deandra, they're stealing your idea'Andra! Terraforming Mars is still your snow algae. That is Jackie's idea, sir. How dare I use my life from Jackie. I thought of a new ingredient. Snow algae. It was the perfect union of like my dorky board game side and my ridiculous real house has a Dallas side. Terraforming. real housewives of Terraforming Mars. Terraforming Deandra.

So they all go to, by the way, what? Yeah, I was just, I was gonna say the same thing that they all go out there, they're partying, they're dancing, they're having fun in Mexico. And I loved at one point Deandra, like is drunk and he also the camera, he's like, sorry mom, I'm like, I love it. Even like in Mexico, far away from like, I love it. Even even like in

Mexico, far away from D. D is still in her brain. D is watching that in her office on her tube TV with one of those really long pointers that like reaches all the way from her desk. It's like one of those car antennas that she can just undo at her desk. Like, do you see this? This is why you do not run the company, okay? You know that D is there. You know D is gonna pull a rest of development Jean Parmesan and like all of a sudden they'll be like a guy in a poncho with a sombrero

in a mustache and the sombrero comes off in a mustache and it's D be like, I am here right now and you get off that bar right now to Yandron. Well, this was your chance to prove me wrong. Guess what, she didn't. Listen, I believe in a hard night good morning but this is too hard of a night. Go to sleep chance to prove me wrong. Guess what? She didn't. Listen, I believe in a hard night. Good morning, but this is too hard of a night. Go to sleep now to Andrew.

So they're doing shots and I love watching Sandra just get drunk with everybody. And at one point, Brandi goes, what is Leanne doing over there? And they show Leanne and she's talking to this guy and just waving her finger like, and then I said. We all know exactly what she's talking to this guy and just waving her finger like and then I said we know exactly what she's doing and it's funny. You better not throw a door to the shot in balloon. So then it cuts to Cameron doing a face. Why did I put cut to Cameron doing face?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha with Karen because they keep because they keep intercutting between this fun Undelays style experience to Cameron like washing her face Cleaning her pores and then like hurt the Cameron and Carrie are sitting in bed And Carrie's like oh here's a face mask you can put on it. It's this great. What a wonderful night masks get dirt out Smart mask get everything out. And then they cut to Deandra like falling down on the bar like, yes, guys. And then cut back to this is what's in the mask. Deandra's trying to sell her addresses to everyone at the bar. Who needs to eat when you got Deandra? Who needs eBay when you got the Andra?

Who needs eBay when he got on the legs? So funny. And of course Cameron goes home to watch her face and carries like, I'm mad at Brandy. So I'm going to go with Cameron. Like who won right now? Who won this fight? Not you, Carrie, because Carrie just looks like a good, although there is something really nice about being in a hotel room putting on a mask. Everyone wins.

So now's the next morning and everyone wakes up and I got to give credit to Leanne and Deandra for being the only ones to actually wake up without makeup on. Everyone else is doing the fake wake up, you know, like Brandy and Stephanie wake up, like full mascara on. But you know what? Deandra and Leanne, they let it all hang out and I think they look great. Yeah, they actually, I think look prettier

without makeup, right? Because there's so much makeup, you never really know what someone looks like under there. And they look pretty much the same. I mean, Dan was, I lived a lot less stressed, but you look pretty younger without all the makeup, to be honest. It's, to me, it's actually shocking how much younger she looks. Um, and you can tell they're really friends because Leanne and all seriousness is like,

today we can shower together and you can scrub them back. It's like, I would rather not thank you. So Carrie and Cameron have had a full night sleep and everyone's waking up from parting and they wake up together. And Carrie's like, how you feel? And Cameron's like, actually, I'm so confused. I felt like Stephanie and Brandy, they were gonna talk to Leanne and they're not a friend to Carrie. And I just, she just immediately starts going back into it and Carrie's like,

I know that you're on my side and I'm supposed to be excited but I'm really really bored right now. Another thing another thing that I'm confused about why do they call it a remote because it's in your hand. So if it's in your hand is it really remote? I'm giving all the TV the power but guess what? I hold the power in the remote. It may look like I don't know how to turn on this TV, but the TV is the one who's being tripped because I secretly, I really do know. Isn't it weird that this is a king size bed,

but there's no kings in it? That's strange. What king was this size? Do you ever wonder things like that? Sure he's like, oh my god, just kill me. I'll make up with Brandy right now. Okay. So then we switch back and forth while everybody's kind of getting ready. And of course, this starts the two giggle girls. Just the rest of the episode, they're basically like the two giggle girls just the rest of the episode they're basically like that's their reach that's for the entire and on the episode. So they're talking about sexual chocolate chocolate and Brandy's like I saw I saw Leanne

Covered that I saw her dig up sexual Chocolate and we're gonna find it. Yeah, I was like, oh, we're going back To this joke again on sexual chocolate thing. Okay, I got an idea. Let's keep this sexual chocolate Dildo thing from the entire episode. And Stephanie's like, she totally dug up

sexual chocolate from the beach. We both saw him. He's in a room. And we're going to save his ass before it's up hers. Maaah! I'm like, okay, fine. So they, so Brandon and Leanne, they go to Leanne's room to find out where the Dildo is.

And they're all holding camcorders, which is weird because I didn't think camcorders were even a thing anymore, but probably production gave them to them or whatever. Yeah, those would be plain camcorders so they give each other. Or like, in this case, the twerking camcorders. Yeah, twerk cam.

So they, so Brandy's like, I'm sorry, Leanne's like, well, here comes Brandy. She's the Dildo hunter. Guess what? It's mimicry, I'm sorry, Leon's like, well, here comes Brandy. She's the Dildo Hunter. I guess what is mimic her and giving up sexual chocolate? That's short. And she's like, where is that? Tell them she's like literally. I didn't literally bring it back.

Literally, it's like literally gone, which I guess is Leanne's tell. If Leanne's lying, you know, because she'll say literally 10 times in the same sentence. Literally, literally. Then we get yet another music cue. And this is like Caribbean music break. It's like, don't hit the thong. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, OK.

So Carrie walks down and everybody's meeting the day after this fight. And Carrie is in the lobby, common area or whatever. And Kerry's way to win is being like, I'm in a bikini with an open sweater and I look better than everybody. Anybody have anything to say? But Cameron does have something to say.

Cameron's like, I feel like I slept so deep last night. I like didn't wake up until this morning. I'm like, that's usually the way sleep works. And then she just puts her hand on her chin and stares at the other girls. She's like, anybody else understands how sleep works?

Anybody? I love the way Cameron always lurches forward. Like in her, all her interviews, she sort of looks like she's kind of taking a poop. You know, she's sort of like leaning forward. I hope she poops like that where she's just constantly nodding like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

That's food. Anyone have to get out of my bowels? Mm-hmm. Some poops go into the toilet. Other poops get everything. Some toilets get pee. Other toilets get everything. By the way, we're discussing for talking about poop. We never sit here and talk about poop. We're doing that because it's Dallas. And that's like real storyline on Dallas.

And of course, like Brandy and Stephanie would get a dildo that looks like one long dukey You know I literally slept so hard. I didn't wake up until this morning Literally, I I like close my eyes I entered a state where I was dreaming and I woke up and I was like whoa. I just slept So they're all just staring at Cameron as she nods. She leans over and she's just nodding and curious just standing there. And it's this really long pause and curious like, okay, well, fun stuff. So Dandruff, of course, is in full on conference center mode.

She's like, okay, we are going to have a team build the next exercise. Okay. Also, I've got a Ponto scarf on my head. After the scene, I just had a POCO HONNESS headband on. Okay, today's team is headbands. Everybody in, we will not talk like this in my home. We're gonna do some team building strategies right now and for once in my life, my mother will recognize that I am a good leader for all these people okay Oh, this is getting a little weird and then she starts announcing the teams and everyone's past because it's Of course everyone who doesn't like each other. Yeah, Cameron's like should we have armor to protect from the obstacles

Or should we have armor to protect from our partners? Do you get what I did there? Armored protect from our partners. Do you get what I did there? Loose Burnow in business. We did this thing. We call it a ropes course. I was like, please let D really have a yearly ropes course where she's making like Jackie and Dandra like race each other to see see who's gonna be the head of the factory You know that D love stringing up her daughter 60 feet up in the air Here's a right you walk across that dandre then you get this empire All right dandre it's tough crap. I'm not crying mother

I'm not crying mother, stop crying. I'm not crying mom, why did you do this to me? You're crying to be a stronger girl. Oh man, I hope D feel threatened. I mean, if anyone gets past that opening as a mama dandruff and doesn't feel scared for their life, I started this as dandruff and I ended it with an empire. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life, but come on. Some days, parenting is unbearable.

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in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now it's like fun dance music and curious like this doesn't look like a workout. So what are they doing now? I'm I know it's basically so now it's they go out to the beach because they're gonna do these team building exercises which are not really

team building they're more just like really races and stuff so it's like a little kind of obstacle course thing where first there's like a pole in the sand they've got to run around it and then they got a climb under a net and then they have to dig up a ball and throw it in a thing so it's like a really shitty survivor challenge with 10 cues But watching Cameron put her head down and run around a broomstick stuck in the sand is probably the favorite thing I saw all week on Brava. I like that Cameron runs like she just fell off of the skyscraper. You know, like her limbs are all kind of like in all these different directions, but she's still managed to go

forward. Everything that they were saying about Cameron. Of course, Brandi was the meanest, you know, because she just kept like being totally like, okay, giraffe. But it was still accurate and funny. And Dan just like, she really is like a little baby giraffe trying to find its legs. She's swishing. She is awkward.

And Brandi was kind of funny. She was saying that that their team says to me, street and Cameron's big bird and Brandy's Elmo and then Brandy starts doing a impersonation of Cameron. She, hi, I'm Big Bird and we're going to win this game. It's pretty good. It was funny. I think it's going to be funny. Sometimes I'm not on the same side as Brandy, but I think she can be funny. Yeah, I'm never on Brandi's side usually, but I like everybody on this cast actually. Yeah. I really do, but this was she was getting on my nerves,

and I'm like, why won't she drop this? Like, well, she would, yeah. Why won't she drop it? And then we see why she didn't drop it, or we hear, because there's like a little evil queen. You hear her producer behind the camera going, it's like me, it's like me just egging someone on. He's like, and so she just continues with the big bread. Yeah, I thought it was funny the first time,

and then by the end of the scene, I was like, okay, we get it. Okay, come on. All right, it's history. I had that whole DNA testing thing done, like the chromosome thing thing and it turns out I have the chromosome sport testing gene chromosome DNA. Yeah she literally said I do have a professional athlete gene. Did like one of her DNA strands have like a little baseball cap on it. My RNA is actually going professional. It's in the major leagues. My DNA is going mplna. But if our sports are, but

if that means so the awkward and my RNA has been yielding for the national anthem and I support it. So right when I was thinking they're not going to top Cameron running around a pole, you know, then they show Carrie running into the net With her head and falling down There's also some Leanne, you know, everyone was just sort of struggling with this thing

You know Brandy of course makes her look Was Brandy was struggling to find a little ball in the sand and Cameron's like, to the left, to the right below you. And he's like, Cameron is very good with sandy balls. She can spot them a mile away. I was like, I was like rolling my eyes, but then I found the mivers like,

oh wait a second, I'm actually giggling. Oh, what's wrong with me? And then they showed Deandra. She asked to throw a big rubber ball like a beach ball into a bucket. And she keeps throwing it right in and then it keeps bouncing out and throwing it in and then it bounces out. Like, oh man, this is why you use Liam on a team, okay? Exactly. It reminded me that there's some movie I saw after came which one it was where some guy had to like

Break something and he's like throwing a chair and it'll kept like bouncing and not breaking I wish I could remember a movie it was that sort of was like everyone. That's what it was like It's like that movie. I don't remember right guys But this is but you know every time that the android tried to throw that ball in that bucket and it bounced out You know she's like mother's gonna see this mother's gonna see this indeed just sitting there like Can't throw the ball in the bucket. And you want to run this company? Mm-hmm. I'm gonna grab that bucket.

$100 just gets taken off my company, credit account every time I miss a ball. You know that D was sitting there in the, she's buried in the sand with her hand, her fist in that bucket. And every time the ball sends, she just punched the ball back out. D'ya I's paying someone extra. Give her a bucket with Bamps back. She'll learn. Rubberize that bucket. So Liam is so competitive.

She is just doing her best to win, even though she had a tip job like a second ago, like five days ago or something. And she's like, I feel like I had Ness installed on my boobs. Jesus. I should buy a separate seat just for my boobs. I'm gonna cave and smith it just for my boobs. I'll even spring for a Southwest group A. Get me my boobs to see. That was funny. I feel like I'm gonna ask on my chest. And now's a good time to tell y'all about a little something called bark box.

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So get on it. Bueller is literally smiling right now. Make your dog smile barkbox.com slash crap ends. So now they transition to volleyball and I kind of wasn't paying attention. All I know is that Lee and the serving. Yes, and now they have teams of three. They're just going to keep switching to make everybody monen grown about teams. So basically everyone's making fun of Cam and she's like, I may be tall, but

I'm not. And then Dan to go sporty. Yeah, sporty. Even though I do have a professional athlete gene It's already cheated on three other genes So Leanne they all win and or whoever wins Leanne's team wins I guess and they're all bonding because this team building really did work guys and then Leanne goes well This is where it being high school volleyball captain comes in handy everyone's like Okay, Leanne just sighing volleyball captain comes in handy and everyone's like okay Liam just sign so so now it's like lunchtime and they're all eating and they're asking Stephanie about her new house and Stephanie starts to get choked up because you know they're

talking about like well the new house is closer to the school that I think cruiser has to go to because you know because if it's dyslexia she starts getting choked up because she feels bad that she didn't move them out of his previous school sooner to address is dyslexia and she just feels guilty like, oh no, don't worry about that. I'm gonna make you will make your ass

immediately pay. Okay. If you're not being friends with Kerry, she's like, um, actually, that's like equidistance from the other school. So check, no, it's not. And then she starts crying. She's like, well, dyslexia and then carries just sitting there like, okay

Like how you moved because of the dyslexia school. Yeah, well, carry goes aw sweet. I love you. I think that was cold It's hard to schools being far So then cares like anyway, I gotta go watch some standout. I'm a giant. I'm like, uh Cameron, why aren't you upset that she just said that? Cameron's like, well, carry, pull me aside and it's medical. And I have a doctor gene that's next to my professional sports gene. And it turns out that my doctor gene says it's a real issue. The genus are medical. The seawards are everything that's wrong with the world.

And she goes, she legitimately has to take care of that. Legitally. It's a medical situation. If I were in that position, number one, I would go to the shower. Number two, I would wash everything out. Number three, I'd be in bed. Number four, I'd wake up and realize I just slept.

Number five, okay Cameron, we get it. Brandy is just such a teenager. I'm like, that's a double standard. If I said, I'm gonna watch my vagina. It's not a double standard. If I said I'm going to watch my vagina, watch my vagina, it's not a double standard. Okay, it's not the same thing is hitting somebody in the face with a dildo when you know they don't like it. Okay, it's like if she whipped out her vagina

and slapped you in the face with it over and over again. Stop complaining about you. It's not the same thing. Yeah, exactly. It isn't. I mean, I'm sure Cameron would have gotten mad at Brandy. Brandy said that, oh, let me go wash out my vagina. But the difference is, I think

Brandy probably would have delivered a line with a lot more like snickering and be like vagina, vagina, vagina. Well, Cameron didn't get mad when she saw the dildo. She got mad when it was waved in her face, slapped her, chased around with it, then brought up every time. Like she's getting mad the same reason

the entire world is getting mad because it's constantly in your face. Like enough we get at your hilarious. You fart and talk about Dildos. Ha ha ha. Okay, you weigh on me. So now it's later and Brandon's death want to go find sexual chocolate, a deal deal. So they pretend to be Le Leon and Deandra. They're going to go down to the front desk to calm their way into getting a room key for the room. No one should ever trust the room key guy in Mexico, basically. Basically. He's just like here. So they come down, dressed all in their Vegas glitter, his brandy is in this like little short, short, romper thing. Yeah. And this was cracking me up. She's like, hi, I'm Leanne.

You know who I am? I'm in movies. Miss Congeniality, I'm a big deal. Do you know J-Lo? I do. No, her. Excuse me. Yeah, I was like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

And he just hands it over. Yeah, he just hands it over. Can I get into my room, please? I forgot my pills. So then they go up to the room. And I love how they're like, quote unquote, sneaking into the room and the camera guy's already in there. Like, obviously, they could have gotten it.

So they go in and they're looking around. And they actually find the dildo. I really thought it was like, I thought the dildo was gone. I I actually believe Lee, I wish was like literally literally literally, but they find the dildo under the pillow. Yeah, under her pillow. It's for the dildo fairy. You never know.

You learn to believe things growing up and you just kind of keep them. Sorry, I drink water. She comes back. There's a quarter underneath. Told you. Touch my deal, though. So yeah, there's one very happy fairy out there somewhere. I'm not saying that in a bunch of order of way. So next is the yacht, the big yacht, dangerous. Yeah, I'm building a team challenge. We're going on a yacht. Yeah.

So they all pile onto this little yacht. We say it's obviously, it's a perfectly sized yacht, but we're just used to be low deck. So it's a little yacht to us because we have Bravo standards. And they get on and they're all taking selfies. And Cameron has with this ridiculous iPhone holder that looks like a big pink mirror. So Brandy starts trolling that immediately. Of course.

And Cameron, you know, Cameron sort of like does nods along. She's like, okay, okay, you're being passive aggressive right now, little ginger, but I'll just nod. It doesn't even make sense because it's a Disney iPhone case that shaped like a Disney mirror, you know? So Brandy's like, are you like mirror mirror on the wall? Like, yes, she is. That's literally like a Disney mirror that she got. Yeah. Cameron goes, I know, right? She thinks I'm an idiot, tractor. Dr. John mirrors get reflections

Smart mirrors get Everything Make any sense So they're totally bored with each other until they have like 20 shots Yeah, then the sound effects people are like okay this let's make it like the worst boat ride ever So they start adding of the sound effect. It's like, what? What? They're in Mexico. So the boat doesn't look that choppy. It's definitely like barfing, dying.

Well, you're going, you're jumping ahead. no. So first, they're on the boat. And you know, Kerry is like, you know, it's all sunny right now, but it's getting windy. And this can't be good. And after a few shots and everything, and everyone's like settling in Cam and Cameron, and Kerry's are talking about how fake Brandi's Stephanie and Leanne are, because, oh, because Brandi, Stephanie and Leanne are because oh because Brandy Stephanie and

Leanne are they're taking that selfies together. It's all like fun and nice and that's when Cameron's like I can't it seems so strange that they're like being so fake And I it's hard for me to deal with so Cameron finally is like I have a question like I don don't understand how your pertaining be friends, but then you said such mean things at the hot tub about the end and her doctor. And I don't remember exactly what you said, because I've heard so many things and like about how awfully Annie's and like not only once have you expressed to her how you felt. Hello, were you at any dinner that they've had?

They've expressed it over and over. You guys just got done fighting about this. She's like, how come nobody has told Leigh Ann that her doctor could possibly literally kill her on the table? Well, I think no. I think that Cameron was saying that like Brandi, Brandi has been talking shit about Leanne, but then she never addresses it with Leanne, or at least according to Cameron. So that's when Brandi is like, you're so full of shit. Yeah,

sin Brandi does that whole thing where she's like, I'm sick of being in the middle of this. You talk and you talk. I'm like, wait a minute, I'm sick of being in the middle of this. You talk and you talk. Like wait a minute, you're the one who's starting all of this stuff by going back and forth. Yeah, and Cameron's like, I don't think it's funny to make fun of someone. So, I don't know, she just cracks me up. And by the way, Cameron is good about starting the pot.

She's like, she will just step in there and be like, so you're kind of a bitch and I don't like that you're a bitch. So stopping a bitch, but that's really nice of you to try being, trying to be nice when you're a bitch. Yeah, she says she talks the same way when she's starting a fight or when she's being happy or when she's just ordering off a menu. Like earlier, they're sitting on the boat and no one has anything to say and she goes, well, this is not my cup of tea.

I don't like big waves. Do you guys like big waves? Like nodding. Brandy's like, yeah, I like it rough. She's like, okay, I get it. Never mind. I seem to be talking about her grammar. Plano. So meanwhile, we should

also mention that they're probably all drunk by now from the killer shots. And now D. Andrew starts to get feisty. And she's like, no, wait, what wait? One gosh, I want to talk about the truth. I want to talk about the fact that Kerry

obviously said something about rich, something so bad that brandy and Stephanie had to come up to me and say, wow, Kerry said something really bad. And we can't say what it is. So Kerry, would you like to say what you said? And Kerry is like, Oh, oh, all said something really bad and we can't say what it is. So, Carrie, would you like to say what you said?

And Carrie's like, oh, all I did. I just, you know, I just made a joke like, you know, like, Rich's penis is the small thing. I've ever seen that everyone talks about it. It's basically like a pee pod, like not even as big as that. Like just a joke, you know? And no one cares. She's like, that's it. And they're all going to act like they're all acting like lian's gonna

Cut somebody and make a huge deal out of it and lian's just like rolls her eyes and she has as far as I'm concerned There's no issues now. This is what I call a silver fox and she pulls up a picture of him on her phone And then zooms in on his crotch and it's like this big dick outline and she's like This is his package wink Yeah, I mean, I mean, I didn't think it was a big deal either, but I also thought it was funny. I care, I was like, oh, just, I just made a joke about that. Well, you know, that's kind of like, kind of rude.

If you, technically, it's kind of rude. But then, Gary's like, it was just a joke. And by the way, Brandy laughed. And that's when Brandy was like, I don't want to be in the middle anymore. Stop putting me in the middle. For instance, the aunt said that your husband gets his dick sucked at the roundup. Yeah, it's just stupid husband fights. So Leanne's like, well, so what? So I said, Mark is a chop shop.

What else? Yeah, that's what was You also said that he gets to suck at the roundup and lands like whoops, and she looks away And carry guys, I mean really Really and she's like, okay, I own it and that has been said to me. I'll also own that other people have said roundup I own it and that has been said to me. I'll also own that other people have said round up Now I don't want to repeat stuff. I hear about Mark. Okay, but anyone who comes here will do the same thing because everyone's saying it Okay, but I spent time the LGBT community Carries like I have children Well, the funny thing is that carry was like, you know what? That's none of her business. I was like that's an odd response

So here is all that was kind of an odd response. Yeah, so they're all, so carry is all pissed. Obviously, I think it's understandable. I, you know, no one wants, even if it were true, and I'm not saying it is, even if it were true, it's just not something that you want broadcast on TV, especially when there's like kids involved. So she's all pissed and it goes to commercial

when it comes back from commercials, it's like, woohoo, drinks, drinks are fun. I was like, wait, do you guys remember you were in a fight? Yeah, they just totally switched back and forth in between wooing and screaming. Only I'm like, well, I don't know is he got, is he gay? Is he by, is he a cross-dresser? Does he have a secret closet?

Does he drive a random ice cream truck and pick up little kid? Who am I to judge? I don't care. and then she starts putting on her makeup like patting her makeup and she's like personally I think it would be awesome to be the first bisexual couple on the housewives to say literally just say if I know this guy at Orange County I might want to hang you know so now the waves now the waves are getting chopped yes like really ain't right you can see because the boat is going up and down, up and down and the end is like,

the only thing that's going to make me sick is another five amongst these girls. Okay, so no more five. What, so if you can throw up, no more five. Point and wake, point and wake, point and wake. So let's see. Now it's two hours later from that. It was getting it started to get choppy

now it's two hours later and that's like, this, this is scary you guys. This is scary boat you guys. And then for waves. So Stephanie is crawling on the ground puking while all the girls just basically mock her. Yeah. She's like that famous painting of the shop and get a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a a little bit of a podcast once in a while. Why can't we? This is what I can't run the company because you can't name the angel wire. I get educated. So carry goes to help brandy or goes to help Stephanie and all that stuff. So they're all finally sitting together and Cameron's like, are you okay? I should move and everyone's congratulating Cam on like finally partying and loosening up because she's drunk. And I just wrote, Cam's idea of parting, a sleeveless turtleneck.

It's like a let-knit loose girl, let-knit loose. Oh, God. By the way, that painting is called Christina's World, which I really like because it sounds like it's a show from TGIS. So, Brandy, what else happens? I've taken like so many notes here. I don't even know where I am.

And it's basically just a rocky boat and someone almost barfing. So everyone's barfing and I like that. Like, so Stephanie's like on the deck, almost barfing. And then she's like over the hanging over the side barfing and then she gets back up on the couch thing and then she has to barf again. And Cameron's like, are you going to throw up?

Should I move? Like thank you for the consideration camera. Throw me people, be like, is there anything I can get for you? Do you need anything? She's like, should I move? Should I bring out the umbrella for my broken bag? So they start talking about Leanne again.

Yeah, talking about how, like, you know, like how they all like joking. And like, but the thing is that when Leanne was saying her shit, she doesn't joke and Brandy how like, you know, like, how they all like joking. And like, but the thing is that Lillianna saying her shit, she doesn't joke and Brandy's like, yeah, I love to hate Leanne. I also hate to love her. And then like, well, I hear you talk about there. So I was like, Leanne was holding the handy cam. Cause it looks like she was standing right behind the camera.

And she just, I'm not aware. So like, I'm being talked about. Okay, you're trying to be funny. You don't have to be funny. Okay, you don't have to make a joke on it. I own it. Listen, when I came out of that trap door, just now I was not making a joke on big serious and that's okay. It's okay

to not be funny. And curious like she's always apologizing because she's always doing mean shit. Okay? If you don't wanna apologize, don't be a dick. How about that? Yeah. And then, so now, Karen and Leanne are hashing it out

and Karen is like, you know, I say the things because, you know what, I fucking panic. I panic when you say this, I panic, Leanne. Oh, the negativity. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm like, I own it, I own it, I own it. And Leanne's, uh, wait, who said this? Oh, Stephanie, I think said she's like, when I heard that that you said that stuff about Carrie's husband, Mark,

getting blow jobs at that gay bar called the roundup, getting blow jobs from other guys. Remember when you said that that was really embarrassing on national TV. Like, okay, Stephanie. It's like, but when I heard that, I thought, oh my god, the old Le man's back. I was like, the old man's back after she showed up at your party dressed like you as two-faced. That's what I'm thinking. That's what it took for you to get mad again. The reason why you know old land didn't go anywhere because because land and launch is into like one of her patent in my law. She's like, ah, I'm fucking hurting right now.

Like Ali, I am like Muhammad Ali. I'm like a Mimic her. I'm Muhammad Ali right now. And like Muhammad Ali, I don't need knives. These hands are all I need. And they work quite well. She's not like Ali. She's like Mike Tyson.

Ha ha. She'll just eat off an ear. Like it's not fair. And Carrie's like, I panic when I hear this and when I do something wrong, I just don't do the right thing. And Lee is like, well, then why is it okay for you to react like that? Well, she's not threatening to stab people, you know, yeah, I think that's probably it. Maybe, maybe she's not, you know, ensuring her hands as little weapons. And then Deandra jumps in again.

She's like, yeah, but Lynn has apologized. She is a apologize. Lynn has apologized. She has cares like, yeah, but then she talked about low jobs again. Oh, did. I think what we all learn from this situation, ladies, is that I am ready to take over my my business. And then Stephanie in all serious discuss. I have to say something. It's been on my my

mic for a few days, but I have to say honestly, let me see those titties. I mean, it's like you suck. I'm going to find that big black deal though and chase you ran with it. And then said like they're all like friends again and chasing each other. Exactly. Then Brandy is like, guess what? I have sexual chocolate right here. And she brings it out again.

She plops it down, waving it around. And Cameron's like, hmm, and at first I was like, wow, Cameron's dealing with it a lot better, but they are really waving it around. So finally, Cameron's like, I'm leaving. I can't be around all this. I think it's trashy. They're trashy. They're so trashy. So she walks up the boat and sits on a rock and she's just sitting there like trashy. So now everyone's

getting annoyed at Brandy like Brandy. You know, like we just had this whole conversation about boundaries. I look what you're doing. Just sleep her alone. It's stupid. Your jokes. Let it go. And I think it's just trying to start a fight. But it is worth it because Cameron, when she goes off the boat and sits on that bench, she starts pounding and she's holding this gigantic straw glitter sun hat. And she's just like looking down while she hugs it. And everyone was pretty much on the camera side. Everyone was like, yeah, she's like, you know what?

I'm sorry, but I'm not going on that yacht to get an apology. If she wants to apologize, she can come down here and apologize to me here. And if she doesn't do that, well, she can suck it. And everyone's like, oh my god, camera said suck it. She's like, I know I can be fun. I said suck it. And also, boo, in the same episode, don't tell me I'm not growing girls. Low C and Joe. Mexico. I'm not similar to them whatsoever.

Like they don't even try to have social conversations to try to get to know me. Okay. They're L-trashio. They are Fessura, okay. And that's pretty much it, right? That's pretty much where it ended. So, you know, like, you know, it kind of was similar to Orange County, you know, accusations of a gay husband, inappropriate moments, awkwardness, and just way more entertaining this week. Yeah, basically both were just a giant dildo being waved around for an hour. And yet we still much the same effect.

Well, that brings us to the end of another Real Housewives of Watchwood Crappens, another episode of Watchwood Crappens. Yeah, no listener spotlight this week, but if you are a listener spotlight person, you have not sent in your entry, please do it, because we want to make sure you are getting your money's worth. And if not, we are going to be circling back to people who have already given in their entries. So be sure to shoot us an email or message us a patreon because we love doing the listener spotlight. We love hearing from you guys. You guys are really funny and it's cool. Hearing different perspectives. Okay. Okay. Everybody we will talk to you tomorrow. Okay.

With the real housewives of New Jersey. Okay. Looking forward to it. Good boy. Bye, everybody. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapins, Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at

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