Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Spill the AT&Tea!
Episode Date: December 6, 2018The first installment of the Real Housewives of Dallas season 3 reunion was about as fiery and hilarious as we could have wanted. We are OBSESSED with this show, and if you're not watching, y...ou're not living! Check out our recap and get involved! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Watch what crap bins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins! motherfuckin' Hey everyone, welcome to Watch For Crap Ins.
A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Caram who can also be found on Roseprix, a bachelor-rosed podcast. What's going on?
Hello, man! How's it going? You ready to talk some Dallas?
Oh hell, yes I am. I love this show and they're really bringing it in this reunion.
Oh well I wasn't talking about real househows of Dallas. I'm talking about our second show in Dallas, which went on sale today.
And if you missed it, well, there's still time.
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So go watch our crap ins.com for that.
And of course, we also have our show in Irvine, California.
So go get that.
That's on sale.
And tomorrow, starting tomorrow, the tickets for just for laughs will go on sale to the public,
but you can get them right now by using the code word Vancouver.
You can find that link on our website or you can just go to their website, jflnorthwest.com.
We want to see lots of faces and all those venues because our live shows are so fun and you know we're gonna have a great time in all three of those cities.
Yeah, get to those shows, suckas.
Suckas.
So but now let's talk about Dallas for real.
Real House was a Dallas, okay, reunion part one.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
So it's a multi-reunion week.
This week we've had Andy on the Shaz reunion.
We've had him on. Yeah. Well I mean within a week, I guess not this week, but multi reunion week. This week we've had Andy on the Shaz reunion. He's had him on.
Well, I mean, within a week, I guess, not this week, but within a week that then
Orange County, then this.
And we were commenting the other day on Orange County that Andy, you know,
looks like he probably smells like a rotten champagne bottle.
It's been open on the kitchen counter for like five months or whatever with
little flies flying around his head.
Wow, he just really rolled out of bed today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And full full blood, blood, bloodshot head. Wow, he just really rolled out of bed today. Yeah, and full bloodshot eyes.
Like he confiscated GG's WUSA collection
and just indulged in all of it.
Bless his heart.
That's a lot to deal with today.
The Dallas ladies.
My head is adorable, little heart.
And we see what's coming
because we get the backstage.
Everybody getting ready. And this cast what's coming because we get the backstage. Everybody getting ready.
And they, you know, this, this cast is a little bit different as they require entire teams from Home Depot to get their eyelashes on.
Hello, Jesus Grace. A lot of ropes and pulleys. Yeah. Lots of PAs stopping in front of the Home Depot and letting in, you know,
documented or non-documented workers into the pickup truck to get those eyelashes on.
A lot of eyelashes.
Yes, sir.
It really is.
Yeah, this was everyone really brought, even though this was shot in New York,
these women were like, okay, we're going to show New York what Dallas is all about.
Okay, we're going to bring some Texas to Dallas because they all came in like
collectively probably the gaudiest set of fashions in one place that's ever been
unbrawbo. I'm just going to say that was craziness.
It was like a show in Branson, Missouri.
And you said that about another show and I forget what it was,
but that's just the perfect explanation.
You know, the description of how people look sometimes
on these reunions and this is definitely a branch in show
like i expected the countess to come out and just start you know giving little
all right well well the said it's changing behind me to from uh...
flat plane no kohoma to uh...
exciting gambling house in new york city for guys and dollars
i'm gonna sing a little song
the song's called three two one Star I'm going back to age of change.
Bye.
Yeah, so I wrote down what I felt.
I just was like, you know, I feel like I have got to write down some first impressions
of these ladies outfits.
So I felt like Brandy to me looked like a Hanukkah themed version of the Matrix, right?
It looked like it was like the code coming down, but instead of like being
green and black, it was like hot-hata colors. I was very proud of her for going all out
with her hair. I was like, a ponytail, really? I know you have a newborn, but a ponytail
brandy. I like the high-line honey. The sequins were shining up from her dress onto her face and it made her look like she had the weirdest
Gast acne I've ever seen you know, it was like full-tech
She provided her own fill lighting basically with her sequins
Deandra to me look like she made a pansewed out of a good diver rapper, okay
She's like I like this mother. I'm aware of this. It's like, the intro, that is a chocolate.
Well, mother, as you say, I do not give a rap what it is. Rip what it is. Oh, guess what?
I just ripped the chocolate into a fashion. Yeah, I felt like she was very dance class,
wearing dance class, a person who can't dance has to wear a suit and dance with the girls, you know?
Right. I thought they're the boy. Yeah. I thought kind of bad.
Yeah, I felt like Stephanie was very like Utah figure skater.
I don't even know what that means.
I just felt like adding you.
I just felt like for some reason it's like, I've never
been to Utah and I would love to go.
And I hope we can someday take our show there.
But my impression of Utah based on what the media serves me
is like, if you lived in Utah and you went into figure skating,
you would probably dress like Stephanie was dressed.
I would call the color of her dress, high school gym.
It was just like a, yeah, it was just a very plain, you know, we're going to sell, we're
going to resell this house.
What do they call that turnkey?
It's going to be a turnkey property.
Uh-huh.
I've learned from Bravo home on Friday nights.
Just very kind of plain.
You know, I get that you're trying to be neutral,
but your clothes have to be?
Yeah.
Now, I was like, it carries,
and I was hard for me to decide what exactly this was.
I mean, on the one hand, she had this,
like her, her cuffs, it looked like
she had just broken out of bondage.
She had these big, long, like, tatters coming out of, from her wrists. But then the pattern like she had just broken out of bondage. She had these big long like tatters coming out of from her wrists. But then the pattern she had this like vertical, this
shiny vertical line pattern on her dress. And the more I stared at it, the more I was like, she
just sort of looks like an office building. It's like she looks like a tall office building in Manhattan.
And she was wearing the Shannon Bedore tassels, but they had like really heavy sequins on them.
Yeah. So they kept flinging around every time she moves her arm, which she did a lot.
She'd be like, you know when Kermit the frog is introducing people and he's like,
BAAA!
And he moves his hand, like kind of sticks his arms up at the balconies.
Yeah.
She does that a lot when she's talking.
And so those tassels are going all over and I was like, girl, this is why they're wearing
eyelashes.
It's like protection.
Yeah.
You'll, you'll, you'll blind yourself like that. Yeah, exactly. And Cameron, I couldn't actually think of anything interesting to say
about her, her Tom Ford. Oh my God, you know, um, but you're so good. Hmm, um, it just sort of looked like a couple of times, you know, uh, yeah. She was just kind of pink and, um, I will say you look great.
Stop with the face stuff.
Like enough.
The hair was a little, I feel like she's hiding from me.
Like I feel like she's putting up actual skin to hide behind.
I can see you in there.
You're in there, right?
I felt like she had a secret camera in her hair.
Like her hair was sort of like oddly high in one corner. I was like, is there a camera in there, right? I felt like she had a secret camera in her hair like her hair was sort of like oddly high in one corner
I was like is there a camera in there. I
Did that I'll admit to it
I recorded it and apologize good. Yeah, and then Leanne
Looked like a Las Vegas teddy bear. She was like she looked like she looked like furry
But she wasn't and then she was wearing microplans for earrings.
So there was like, there's a lot to take in.
Hug me, I dare you.
Those were my first impressions about the text as fast as.
Yeah, this, this fashion.
And then Andy was doing that thing where he's like, well,
let's make it look like I wished that the watch would happen studio look like,
because it did look like the clubhouse.
It did.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, yes, exactly.
So Andy says hi to everyone.
He's like, hi, the adoption's final, things like that.
And he's like, carry, you spilled some tea about in Copenhagen about you dating Lance
Armstrong.
How long was that?
Oh, girl, probably like six months a year or something like that
I mean I just have an athlete problem. I said day a lot of athletes like football girl and baseball girl and cycling girl
He's like athlete problem sounds like more of an athlete solution
And she goes my 20s and early 30s were amazing. I thought I meant
because my 20s and early 30s were amazing. I thought I meant that.
Oh, good.
Well, not fat shaming at all.
Yeah, I just, that's just when I met him.
That's all I'm saying.
All right.
I'm not fat shaming Mark.
I'm just saying that everyone I used to date
had professional six packs.
Not fat shaming Mark.
I'm just athlete body praising labs.
Right. Yes. I'm just athlete body praising lamps. Right.
Yes.
I'm not that shaming, I'm not shaming, fat shaming mark, I'm just saying that Torell Owens,
you could basically sharpen knives on his stomach.
So, yeah, that was an athlete problem and Leigh Egg, he'll learn no one cares.
Wow.
Wow.
That's right.
You did. That's right.
You did.
I remember that.
Anybody else remember that?
I remember that because I'm curious, friend.
Wait a second.
Yeah. It's been friends for five minutes.
Okay.
Let's stop pretending that you were like in the bathroom waiting for
for Kerry to be done with Lance.
So you two could get on with curling each other.
Yeah.
Or exactly all those tales of like Mark McGuire or whatever.
So, yeah, Andy is like, to Cameron, he's like, what's up to Cole Kidman, double gang,
or she's like, oh my god, you just made my day.
That really made my day.
Until I remember that Nicole Kidman was in that movie with ghost-at-opted children.
Yars. How could you accuse me of shaming ghost-children, Remember that Nicole Kidman was in that movie with ghost adopted children. The Orbs.
How could you accuse me of shaming ghost children, Abby?
I don't know what's my favorite Nicole Kidman movie, The Other Orbs.
The others are hungry.
Although I do really like front of already.
So then yeah, I wrote, um, wait, oh yeah. So Andy's like, oh, we didn't talk about how Andy was like, oh, and you've got nice boobs.
You've got a ponytail.
You've got sequins and lian's got a, uh, a bong that she doesn't meditation.
Or is that next?
Yeah, maybe we did.
Yeah, but he's like, you brought your bong,
she's like, I'm gonna need this boulder,
this boulder, not Andy, okay?
Dong.
And so he's like, we'll lead us in a meditation.
She's like, all right, here's what you do.
Listen to the dong, live in the dong.
Brandy's an alcoholic.
All right, let's do this. Dom.
Dom.
That's the sound of an empty bottle of Schlitz
fallen to the floor after Brandy's had a go at it.
She's like, how are you really doing this?
It's like, yes, yes.
Unfortunately, you were signed up for another season
on this show.
It's not what you must have done.
You must have done Schlitz.
So Brand, so, so, I'm looking at this show. That was what you must have. You must have those slits. So Brad, so, so, so, look at this thing.
So, Leanne's like, home.
And like the producers pipe in sound effects basically like they hit like two, two keys on
the keyboard of the synthesizer.
Or it's like, wow, wow, wow.
I was like, is this the first time we've had sound effects during our reunion?
So, by messing with the by data's amphere. I was like, is this the first time we've had sound effects during a reunion? So I mentioned that I did a Zan fear.
I'm not going to get a real pan-pipe problem.
I had a real pamphlet problem.
Yeah, I was actually with Yana at the Acropolis Girl.
Oh my god, I love the Acropolis.
My god, you sure did have a pan-floutist problem.
Floutist, that's what my children eat because they're from the heat, though.
We are very into En-ya.
Also from the way. I-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- Oh You're me. You're me. You've never heard of or no c'est la
Selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-selle-O-elle-O-selle-O-s No, so he's like so calm that up bull ringing, huh? She's like yeah, and now he goes so that bull riding is like Yeah, they show the clip of her like the giraffe on the bull. It's like the nature channel and she's like
In my mind that bull was going fast. I don't ride bull
Can you pronounce bull for me?
Can you pronounce a bowl for me?
Can you pronounce bowl for me? Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla accent sound. So now instead of saying ball, I can only say ball. It's called Intermittent Montecito tongue death. My favorite basketball player from Texas
was Manute Ball. That is ball. All right, let's get this reunion started. Let's play bowl.
So he's like, so how does Stephanie's vagina react to vagina? Rejuvenation,
China, China vagina. Boom's anyone want to talk about their boobs?
Like, I mean, drivers was just so happy to have ex. So funny, Andy.
I was young, Andy. It's so sad, Andy.
Travis, like, she's not a line.
I just wrote my name out in the semen on the wall.
Ready to go again.
And Kerry's like, it's definitely slippier.
This, I don't understand.
So I don't, there's, I never understand these vagina segments.
And at this point, I feel like the world's just throwing them at me.
Yeah.
It's like the genus of giants.
Because it's really union time on every show.
So I'm saying to you, I have to ask about everybody's vagina.
It's like three times in a week.
I don't want to talk about the genus anymore.
I know.
But having them is this is this is this what we thought for for gay marriage for to just have like vagina thrown in our faces
That's not right
So so hey Leanne when you gave that lap dance at the rodeo you really looked professional
Were you ever a stripper asked Judy from Judy town and Leanne's like no, but that would be a great job
You know I talk I talk shit for living for you, so dancing for a living will be great.
And he's like, well, I have to say you're an excellent shit talker.
So I could just flow that, Mandy.
Just like printing boats, anything else flowed out of Stephanie before that vaginal rejuvenation.
Just like a...
Just like a... She was working for all.
It worked. That's right. Thanks for the plug.
It was like a stream of cake-ups coming out of DeAndra's ass. Just flows right out. Flow.
So next we get to be for creak.
And then Andy, Andy's like, so it's beaver tightening and beaver creaks. Let's take a look at
Cameron blah blah blah, blah.
And then the camera just stays on him
and he gives bedroom like blood shot
crossed bedroom eyes to the camera.
And it was hilarious.
He probably hard as personal trainer to operate it.
He's like, yeah, take a look Anton.
So yeah, so we saw like some greatest hits
from Beaver Creek, which was really fun to watch again.
We had the bashing adopted baby fight, and we saw the fight about who was queen and
also the cake-up situation.
So we come out of the package, and so I heard a rumor that Justin Bieber rented your family
house camera, which was Justin Bieber.
It was Taylor Swift.
Yeah, it was Tate, Tate, Swifty Swift.
Yeah. You know what?
Sometimes Andy, I would be offended by that,
but sometimes you need to shake it off.
And he's like, oh, how can I get those two confused?
Oh, it's you actually.
That's actually mind-boggling.
Yeah.
Well, he didn't get it confused.
It was whoever asked the question,
got it confused, and no one bothered to actually, youboggling. Yeah. Well, he didn't get it confused. It was whoever asked the question got it confused
and no one bothered to actually, you know, fact check.
Look it up.
Yeah.
I would like to think that Taylor Swift broke up
with somebody in that house,
and that is why all this bad stuff happened to me.
I actually feel like Taylor Swift was hoping
to rent Camille's house in Colorado
and got confused, owned up with Cameron's instead.
She's like, and I'm living in the cold
Hey Cameron could you sing a couple could you sing a couple lines from trouble?
Okay, yeah, there's a to the front of that. Oh, I say it.
I'll play the fan.
I'll be the fan flute part.
Andy.
I'm going to go to you.
Okay, so what was the queen
be fight about?
Huh?
What was that about?
And I love that we got an
explanation for this. Yeah, cuz what's a clean V fight about and Leon says well Andy
It was more about status
Yeah, we figured yeah, yeah, Leon actually tries to sound mature when she describes the fight
She goes to the end or said that they that we didn't qualify to be housewife status until she transpired to join the chaos. And then from there it just
basically everyone's basically they're saying that Deandra said that there would be no show
if Deandra hadn't joined. And Brandon said she didn't say that. She didn't say that. And
Kirk like no she said that girl. She said that girl. She didn't say that girl. Yeah, she said
she wouldn't have a show if she hadn't been on it girl.
And then I was like, well, you know, I said, what about a season one when the rest of us
sacrificed so you could join.
We sacrifice children, clowns, donkeys, trawlers.
God.
Do you know, I was gonna hit five trawlers that summer.
I only hit one.
Look at all the transportation they had to suffer
for you to be here.
And Brandy's like,
well, Leanne said that she's the reason for the show.
She's like, I never said that.
But I hear it from so many people
that you say, you carry this show on your back
like a turtle.
She actually has to carry this show
like a turtle on your back.
I'm like, our turtle's known for carrying things
on their backs.
Yeah, they're shall.
Well, I mean, they live in their shell,
but I think that's what she meant.
Like, she's carrying it on her back like a turtle.
I just feel like they're better animal
carrying references.
I just feel like, Brandi, I need you to,
I need you to upgrade up your zoology references here.
I just feel like there are, what about a camel or something?
What holds, I feel like there are things that hold better animals on it.
Turtles just have the shell.
They're not carrying the shell.
The shell is part of them.
Not like they can leave the shell.
They're part of that shell.
It's like saying, I'm carrying it like my skin.
Yeah, I think I'm carrying it like my skin. Yeah, I think it's I'm carrying I
carry this house around my turtle on his back. I don't know. I don't know. I can't explain.
I mean, to be fair, she is something that does her amazing.
Yeah, and so it's really might be more of a lian issue than a brandy issue.
Every colony knows the time for commercial break. They're just ads, but they work.
Wow, well.
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So then, Dan, it's like, what are you talking about, Leanne?
You're an in-touch magazine.
Just now, I was saying the show center to Randview.
And she gets sweetie.
You need me to tell you how the press works.
Oh, really?
Did you not say all road's lead to Leanne locking? Well, didn't you use the storyline works. Oh, really? Did you not say all roads lead to Leigh Ann Lockham?
Well, didn't you use the storyline about me
this whole year?
Oh, there you go.
Take that, call to sack.
I guess you haven't been to Leigh Ann Lockham
Bill lately, have you?
I walk around the roads, change with me.
I'll population everyone.
I just like Leigh Ann denying saying that she's like being like I never said
this show would be nowhere without me and then it cuts to In touch magazine with the headline
this show wouldn't work without me.
Uh, and then Dan. Dan just like Dan just like, you know what, yeah.
Yeah, go ahead.
She's just lean.
You are just the gift that keeps on giving.
And Leo's like, I am the GI, if they keep on giving.
See what I did there?
Word plot.
You can tour the end of the gift.
It would be met, met a, met a gift, met a gift.
Hey, would you like some, uh, bread,
some two pieces of white bread to slather my jiffin?
Can't punch a gift horse in the mouth, can you?
Yeah, but isn't it normal?
I mean, the housewives universe to have kind of an ego
and think everything centers around you,
even though really in the real world,
you're lucky to be considered middle class.
And Dan was like, well, her ego is off the chock.
Oh yeah, well, you need a whole other soap up for years.
Meanwhile cut to Stephanie just like like fixing yourself below Brandy's feet. Excuse me I'm just
gonna make myself a torment here if you don't mind. What were you saying about Ego?
For Stephanie's doing this thing where she's like now I'm positive. So I'm not gonna say anything
negative because I just want to be positive about every little thing that ever happens. or she's like, no, I'm positive. So I'm not going to say anything negative,
because I just want to be positive
about every little thing that ever happens.
And she looks like she's about to start sobbing
this whole time.
Because what do you get?
You know, I've said this a million times on this show,
but your positive attitude doesn't change the world.
It just changes how you view the world.
Okay.
Like, the reunion stage is not going to suddenly change
because, well, it's true, because you know,
you have a good attitude and then you're like,
why the world just shit on my head?
I have a positive attitude.
Well, having a positive attitude doesn't change shit.
It's because it affects how people react to you.
Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy, Ronald?
Ronald?
I don't know, I just thought you were Ronald.
I had a self-fulfilling prophecy that your name changed to Ronald instead of Ronald.
Oh well, I'm carrying this show on my back like a turtle.
I think I literally said Ronald because I started thinking about McDonald's while you were talking.
I think it's just because we've all seen it.
HW Bush and you're thinking of all the wonderful Republicans in line.
We're at the Dallas reunion, okay?
So I'm dead.
Dan just like, all right, here comes the big guns, all right?
You know what, Leanne?
I have kept a secret for you, and I've been holding onto it
and for two years, and now I'm going to reveal it.
Ladies and gentlemen, here is the truth about Leanne Locken.
AKA the end of the Leanne Locken highway.
All right, we're getting off the overpass,
so Leanne, that is kind of funny, they do all eat her.
Anyway, here it is.
She makes meat loaf without ketchup. There, I said it, I said it, I said it.
I have got secret about you, Leanne. And Leanne just like covers her lower face like, is my beard showing?
Like the bearded lady escapes.
You lost your virginity on the scramble, didn't you?
Well, the accident.
We were lying onto, he was lying on top of me. We're just enjoying it.
And we just got scrambled into each other. So they don't call it the scrambo for nothing.
Where scrambo digs came from.
So, um, Dandras, we got a commercial and then we came back to check.
Okay, here is my big secret mother.
Carrie, Liam said you were going to fat shame me like you fat shame to your husband for your first year marriage.
Carrie is like, I never fat-shamed Mark ever.
I just came on TV and said he had man boobs and I much prefer fucking my arm strong.
All right, there's no difference.
What there you?
All I said is that he has four spare tires and I would rather bang a Zekil Elliot again than take it from Mark.
So she's like, I have never thought James Mark ever said, well, then you know, but that's what she said. I mean, I don't know why you're yelling me because that's what Leant told me So well then fuck you fuck you for believing her
You're mad to me. Yeah, when he said it. I have there you I would never ever say that Carrie was gonna
Chef shame the person we're all royalties lead to Leant cake because these roads aren't taking fact
Shame it. Let me tell you something. We got rid of that shame boulevard in Leantown. That's what I say
Let me tell you something we got rid of that shame Boulevard and Leanne town. That's what I say
There's like dandra girl. I've known you longer than anyone
Nine years ago today you're at my wedding and you're going to sit there and you're gonna say
Thank you Liam. Thank you for finding that word for me girl
I'm a poor carry. She's like nine years ago today. I got married and no one says like happy anniversary. Yeah.
10 years ago today, I was banging Tony Romo. Okay, nine years ago today, I was
enjoying some laps for Biscuit Mark at our wedding. Funny you should say that because 10 years ago today, Tony Romo was run out of town by a woman named Leigh Ann
and now all Rose lead to Leigh Ann Romo.
Ha ha ha.
Dr. Bisk and unlimited breadsticks.
Sure, he doesn't have the tapered V shape of a Jackson Whitten, but he's pale In a way that reminds me of marshmallows and a fun way.
Campfires. Except you can't throw Mark in the fire.
So Andy's like, have you heard Carrie fat shame Mark? And the end is like, I'm the first
season she talked about man babes. And she's like, I said, he lost weight girl. Okay.
I'm telling you, we're for world, but we have to. I did not.
Well, you're the dumb bitch you believed there.
You think you can say anything and we're not gonna go around from person to person talking
about it.
Exchanging apples, dunking each other's head under the water.
Wait until someone's found the only green to get an extra $20.
Do you think that's what's gonna happen?
You think that we're gonna go to a car car vol not share an oversized turkey leg together?
No sorry.
So let's see.
So then Andy's like, so, um, dandra and brandy, it is, you know, Leon thought it was kind of
odd that your friends, what is the reason that your friends and dandra's like, well, we
have a sense of fun, mother. And then while she's giving her bullshit answer, she's like talking
and then over on the other couch, counts like, that was insane. What she said about factumen,
that was insane girl. Yeah, it cares like I didn't do that girl. I would never fact shame my husband because never
And then it comes back to Deandre still yarning on and on she goes
Brandy is more of a let loose kind of woman than these women are and he goes, I don't know about that
And then I lands like
Leanne's basically like I was just saying at the time that I was feeling protective of Deandra.
And Randy goes,
what do you want to protect?
What do you want to protect?
I'm like, you realize you're sort of insulting Deandra
there by saying that.
And Lian's like, well, it's protection.
It's the neurological feeling.
And if you don't understand that.
I have three children, Lian.
I have three children, okay.. I have three children, okay.
And I watch them ransack my kitchen every single day.
So no, I actually don't understand protection,
what that means.
Oh my gosh.
By the way, Ed just donned on me that her kids stole her phone.
Maybe that's why Brandi's so paranoid.
Like her kids are the one storing her.
She's just taking everything out on the end. I remember when her kids stole her phone because she was mad at Randy
And she took it to school. Okay, anyway, sorry. I was I was down on Leanne Lane over there
And I should have been on Leanne Avenue. Yeah
Doesn't matter which road you're on, but I'll lead to Leanne
big old and the old dog
So then we get to Cameron and okay look we're not
here to bash an adopted baby or anything but when you saw the clip and obviously
you misheard her did you feel you owed a brandy and apology Stephanie
apology for yelling and screaming and talking about bashing adopted babies
like I felt it was a misunderstanding.
Oh yeah, Creed that I was bashing her for not telling me
and Brandon's like, that was wrong.
But yeah, but why did you say that that's the rules?
Like if you educate people on how a dupe's works,
I was bashing the adopted baby process. I was a dab, I was bashing the adopted baby process.
I was a dad.
I was bashing the adopted parent, not the baby.
And you just, you have to educate people.
And here's like, oh, a girl.
I mean, I feel like it's pretty much common sense girl.
Right?
Uh-uh.
And Leans like, well, she hadn't been drinking.
She's like, well, look, you couldn't, why couldn't you just say, aw, aw, and Liam's like, well, she hadn't been drinking. She's like, well, look, you couldn't,
why couldn't you just say, look,
this is how the adoption process works.
Did you notice like all that that?
Yes.
The adoption process.
And I'm trying to get into character, like Nicole Kimmel.
Yeah, but like you know that you don't just get a baby
off the street, right?
She's like, um, I don't know anything about adopting a boobie.
Here's like, you can't, you don't just get a baby, Cameron.
I'm pretty sure that to get a baby, you just have to swing on a big old flower swing over a bunch of men and top hats.
Uh, Cam, that's Mulan Rouge.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, and Brandy's like, I'm so happy with some other.
I could cry. All that love in the world is just beautiful.
She looks like she's about to just drop an orgasm of tears, but then
none come out. And he's like, okay, so it's incredible that
Steph got that baby for you. And then she just stops even trying to cry. Yeah.
Steph's face is like, I was looking to the penny saver. And I saw baby for sale. It comes
for free with a toolbox and Travis needed to box. I was like, Brandy, could you take this
baby that comes with a toolbox? She's like, okay, told you, Curry. So Andy's like, so
how'd you come up with that lie so fast
at that party to say it was that you got the circuit.
So then no one would know that Brandi just bought a baby
at the thrifty neck all.
And Stephanie's like, well, I need a brandy.
Why do you keep a secret?
So like the first thing that came out was, I have 19 arms
and my mom's really an elephant.
But then we'll about that.
So then I said, I'm a men's remember and I can't break my own arm and then put it back together
again like Jesus.
I can't believe that.
So finally Travis just said surrogate and I went with it.
Thanks, Travis.
You shouldn't lie and make jokes about a surrogate.
It was a low point in this country's democracy
where we'd lost faith in government.
It's like, oh no, that's what our gate not,
sorry, get.
Would Ronald HW Bush do that?
Oh,
oh,
would Braddy's like seriously lying about a circuit?
She's like, yeah, there are people with issues
about circusy and he made a joke about it. like, yeah, there are people with issues about surrogacy.
And you made a joke about it.
There's not enough of a surrogate distribution,
run dollars.
Is that shortage of distributors of surrogates?
You've been honest about your baby distributor.
So finally, Dan just like, well, you know what?
It's no one's business if she doesn't want to share.
Okay, that's why I think mother and-
Oh, really, really, Deandra, Dandruff like well, you know what? It's no one's business if she doesn't want to share. Okay, that's what I think mother and
Really really to andra because how could you see that Deandro when you're making all of Lee Ham's business your business?
That you know what that is that is the popcorn the pop that's the popcorn the pop black. Okay, that's the popcorn the pop
That's kettle in the pot in the pot. They're all black. They're black candles of pop
Sit from back down there. I like to cook where.
I'll cook where cooks.
Leanne, this is my cookware show.
Unless you got that cookware on Leanne street of the stores.
So then we got a commercial and when we come back and he's like, Hey,
she's got a 10,000 square foot mansion and a vagina tighter than a frog's butt. All right,
let's talk to Stephanie. Hey, Stephanie, you're depressed a lot. Why did you talk to that?
Why did you talk to Leanne about that? So she just sells, like, you know, she puts up walls.
I'm just in your surface.
I'm like, I'm like a Microsoft tablet that no one wants to buy.
Just a surface.
So I thought I would like have to something to make Leanne want to know me or anyone.
So I just told her about it.
And it was just very easy and simple.
And it was nice.
She talked about her family and her guilt
for putting her family through all that worry, et cetera.
And she's like being very emotionally honest and serious.
And it's like it was like a really touching, but sad,
but hopeful moment.
And I just got to Andy doing this exaggerated frown face
where he's like, ooh, sad.
He's like curling his lip downward. That's a good work on me. And it's like, hmm, he's like curling his lip downward.
That's not working.
Yeah, he's like,
can we wrap up the suicide talk?
Anybody, anybody hearing this?
So yeah, he seems like bored.
And then he was, I mean, he was doing a full emoji face.
Like that's like not the face we give someone
when they say that they had like an issue
with suicide 20 years ago.
You don't do a super frowny thing. It's like, oh, oh.
So he's giving her that face.
And then Brandy and Lee out start fighting over like
who's friends with Stephanie because he's like, so Brandy,
have you been there for Stephanie when she's so depressed?
You can't get out of bed.
She's like, yeah, and Stephanie, I'm so sorry about that.
And he's like, so I that. I'm sorry. I'm
proud of you. Brave people lead to brave people. Brandy's like,
I'm speaking of your bravery. Yeah, it was a full on brave
off. You've you've changed, you've changed the most this
season because you're the bravest. Well, you know what they
say, brave people are the luckiest brave people in the brave world.
You know what I'm saying?
There was a book called the Brave New World is written must definitely.
Um, by the way, I dated Brave Heart.
When I was in my late 20s, I had a real thing for warrior.
So that was nice.
I really like Sarah Bross and I love her song.
That's about to use to have.
I want to see you be brave. So Andy's like, were you worried about coming on the show?
She's like, yeah, because season one, I was like trapped on like internet hell
because like people were saying stuff like I couldn't change the stuff that they were talking about.
Like, my voice, but now it's giving me thicker skin.
And I was like, oh God, I feel so bad, but I love her voice
Like I mean I kind of her voice every day, but I love it. No, we don't I don't think we make fun of her voice
I feel like we just try to apart from Jack from willing grace
We are we just try to like approximate what she sounds like, but we're not saying like oh she's stupid
She has a stupid voice or oh whatever. She has a perfectly lovely cute voice
No She has a perfectly lovely cute voice. Yeah. Also, to be fair, there's a very good chance that she got confused and was reading Amazon reviews.
And I'm sorry, I just poked the microphone.
I was pointing my finger.
She's reading Amazon reviews.
About like a flowbie.
There's something that keeps saying I suck.
No, Steph, that's actually a flowbie Amazon review.
Oh, I'm gonna to buy it then.
They're saying I'm spineless like jelly.
You're literally reading a jelly review.
Oh, but now they say that like the music is wonderful.
Now you're just reading a jelly's last jam soundtrack review.
Oh, God, I love that musical.
Okay, so Leanne's like, you know,
oh, the next segment is like, Leanne,
if Leanne changes herself, she can change the world.
And then they show the clip where she's like,
if I can change myself, I can change the world.
And Andy's like, so if you change yourself,
can you change the world?
Okay.
Well, I want to be like Kathy Tricoli and remind people that everything changes like the world.
Hey world, keep changing, would you?
So she's like, now here's what happened.
And then they start playing the music from Halloween, you know, when they start playing scary music,
I think that's scary, is that what's happening?
Yeah, I always get the Halloween music and the Omen music all mixed up because just end the
exercise because it's just like a piano and just going in a cycle that's like scary piano.
You know I always get it mixed up with the real housewives of Orange County.
Every time I see Linda Blair spinner head around and spew pea soup I'm always like wait
was that was that the extra sister was that from an episode of Real House of Orange County? I can't remember was that
tamarind scene? Every time Vicki comes crawling down a staircase upside down, I'm like, wait,
is this Orange County or is the extra sister? She would do. I think I've seen that one.
It was on on the lace. So it has the scene about the
amygdala. So Andy's like, so are you doing
meditation therapy masturbating a lot? I mean,
works for me. And she's like, well, I'll do
meditation every morning. Then I see two
different therapists and he's like, you never
told me about that. I'll make way. We don't
talk, Andrew.
Well, but the thing is that I subscribe to Leigh Ann Therapist.net and that has not been updated in about six months, okay?
The only Therapist I know is on Leigh Ann Avenue
and I was just there the other day and I didn't see it.
Well, it was Leigh Ann Street, stupid.
I'm pretty sure I was at the intersection
of Leigh Ann Avenue and Leigh Ann Street. Oh, it reloc I was at the intersection of Leon Avenue and Leon Street.
Oh, it relocated to Leon Lane.
That's why, that's why.
Sorry about that.
Should have sent out a change of business flyer.
Well, in the first few months that this show was Aaron, we were still talking Leon.
Okay, we were still talking and I did not know about this.
I was like, I knew.
Well, I'm talking to Leon Terry.
So how about you just keep it shut. Mother, well, it's like, don't be, uh, Liam's like, don't be condescending to
Carrie. Hey, Carrie, remember that time we were in high school and you were dating that famous
hey, that famous saying blotter. Hey, don't be, don't be condescending to Carrie, okay? She gave
up Miles Austin to be with Mark, okay? That's like going for a slab of concrete going from a slab of concrete to a
To a piece of bubble wrap okay, well then maybe you should tell Carrie to mine her own business
Oh, I think she just called Mark fat. She just called Mark fat
Okay, first let me tell let's let's let I want to unpack this slightly
It's not a big unpacking. This is like some carry on and not the carry on that goes like I'll in the overhead bin. It's like under the back under the seat. No pun intended carry on girl
But here's the thing
Deandra for as much as she's like my life mother to Leanne. She is like totally
Like she was all up in Leanne's business business about the wedding
She was now. She's all upset about the therapist thing like relax girl and on top of that when Carrie was saying I only found out recently
She was trying to make you feel better like oh no
No, I only just learned like two weeks ago. It's not like this has been an ongoing thing that she's talked about
You know, but the answer being it like such a tizzy about this therapist thing
It's like it's just consistent with the puzzling way
that she was just all up in Leanne's business.
And to me, it just reads that she's projecting
certain issues with her mother onto Leanne.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, that's not right.
That's not right.
Okay, yeah, I'm with you.
No, I'm with you.
I'm with you.
I didn't know it was coming back to Mama D.
I was like, I'm unprepared. I caught Ronnie. I'm
going to prepare for this turn to Lee and Veeam's. Okay. That
just made it. Anyway, that makes sense. I just think
Deandra is like came here. I think her mom was probably
like, dandruff, now you are going to go out there. You are
going to hold your panties up. You're going to be wearing big girl panties and you're not gonna take any crackers from the
parents out there. Okay? You are the parent. Understand me, you little idiot. And so she's like,
okay mother. And she's just coming out screaming and yelling at everybody and not really knowing.
Okay, Branda. She's even talking about. Yeah. She's basically like deandra. Okay, deandra,
you are the eyelashes of the green miracle now.
All right, and people need to see that you're a tough business woman.
So you go out there and you beat get tough business woman hard, not hard morning.
Okay, that's what I'm saying right now.
Double hard.
So Brandy jumps in now and she's like, um, honey, Tiffany told me that you never
were in therapy.
Tiffany from season one you all
They show the day like show a picture sort of like the soup. There's like a little picture of Tiffany Hendra that like pops up with the
Case you forgot Tiffany Hendra who had the exciting story of being married to fake Keith Urban who sang song about I think October
And like our closet of the house of blues October
Right after September, it's October.
Tiffany also famous for doing. Yeah. One of Tiffany's memories of knowing Leanne with Leanne picking her up from a bathroom floor where she was snorting coke. And Leanne was like, it's
time for us to change. Now let's steal Sandy Bullock's keys out of her gene jack and get the hell out of here, sister.
Oh shit. We just hijacked his am bone. It looks like we're stuck in this ring.
So, uh, yeah, by the way, Brandy was like, you see that new girl carry out there is dating Zamfear. What a loser.
Who is Zamfear what a loser who is Zamfear by the way I'm gonna nail it in
the legroom to tell you ask you know the Zamfear the pan fluteist is he was
always on late-might commercials like to sell his DVDs they'd be like
Zamfears with pan flute and he's like oh my god you hit that new Zamfear album Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh Sarah McLaughlin song could come in pan flute. I'm in.
Take a quiz like girls girls girls.
I feel like I'm in the Andes. So, um,
just a, oh yeah. So Tiffany's supposedly sold out land and said that she's not in therapy.
And Liam's like, well, I don't believe that because she's seen me go to therapist my entire life. Okay.
And Brandy's like, well, she said it was all bullshit.
She goes, well, I don't believe you.
I'll trust kids anymore than you.
I will even name your therapist.
Oh, and you wonder why I don't trust you, huh?
No.
So Liam's like, I'm not gonna name my therapist,
because why would she name her therapist?
I think that's sort of like, that's like, geared, that is weird.
It's weird.
It is weird.
It's a brandy five, you know, fifth grade.
It's like I got you, et cetera.
Yeah, it got you.
So Leanne's like, listen, my therapist isn't bullshit.
I'll go there and I'll talk to him.
Three-year-old Leanne and seven-year-old Leanne
and I say, all right, both of you guys,
get on that tri-bomb and you're not getting off until you figure out what's going on with your lives because it's
gonna go forward and go backward okay so you better be prepared I wish I could
have talked to teenage lian because I would have told her I met how many jelly
beans are in that goddamn jar and I would have won that car and escaped that
forever poor three-year-old lian three-year-old Leanne. Three-year-old Leanne.
Are you there right now?
Are you there?
I'm here right now.
Okay, what are you doing?
I'm in an endless circle of traffic.
Oh God.
You're on the car machine, aren't you?
Yes, I am.
Beep, beep, beep.
It will never end.
Don't worry, it feels like it's never ending.
But one day that journey will come to a stop and you'll be in
Leanne village population
97,000 in accountant
I'm just imagining like
Leanne having a traumatic memory of like her mom putting around a little car thing
You know the car ride where you go at like the kids go to the circle the little time
It's like a tiny version of a mega bumper in a car.
I just be it.
I can imagine Leanne's mom being like, okay, Leanne,
you just wait right here.
I'm gonna go get you an ice cream cone.
Leanne be like, okay, mom.
And then just like the mom doesn't come back for four days.
Leanne's just still like going around
the little circle waiting for her mom to come back to us.
Oh, God, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
That's not even real.
And you just made Leanne win this reunion
a day with your fake. Your fake. Oh, oh, so loud. Hey, just never ended. That's
while never drive a tiny car again. So Randy's like, you're a liar. You don't have therapists. You're like, how dare you?
Oh, trust worthy, not untrusty. Trust.
He's like, well, I don't trust you. And Tiffany says to your liar. So we go through that
whole thing. And then Cameron's like, but it's none of your booziness who were therapists
is burned. And she's like, I'll tell you who my guy know is. I'll tell you who my roofer is.
I'll tell you who my dentist is.
I'll tell you who the person who you bought my shoulder
at was.
And then I'm like, listen, I don't need to know who looks at
your pussy, OK?
And then Deandra pulls his face like she's so offended.
Do you not remember the cake cup scene?
They just showed it, Deanna.
So spend your disbelief.
So Fran scene from Glamorama, Indiana,
says, I think the New York Big Deloitte's bullshit,
and Leon's like, oh, I appreciate that show you didn't.
Google it, and the answer is like,
Ha! Google it!
For Chris, say,
and Google it, you can Google whatever you want.
Get the answer you need.
Leon just like, yeah, sure, the fork. You want to see the phone go on Google and you you say you have anything after reading Google
I mean you probably don't even have anything you probably have Google to see and
Then they all just start screaming at each other and carries like you were the one who told me to shut the fuck up
Maybe you're the one you shut the fuck up girl
Everyone's yelling at the same time and then Leanne's like, when your omigula is triggered, your blood
stops. And then here's what happens. Little three year old
Leanne says, that and little seven year old Leanne says, flat
a teenager Leanne says, why aren't I in this? There we
teach you yet. Where's it my turn? And then I say, fuck all
of you Tiffany, Edwards, Eli, let's go slash your tires. all the liains go down lia and boulevard until they find tith me.
Then they cut her off at the ankles and watch her bleed, she tries to crawl away.
Yeah, we're making an animated movie about it called Into the lia universe. Okay, it's coming to theater soon.
We're going to make a movie about her called Inside Out because that's what she's gonna be when I'm done with her after hearing this reunion
So Deandra's like squawking. She's like she's like
Oh Google you can buy that thing. She's like hey D. Hey D. Hey D. M&D. Hey D. M&D. Hi is the android inside you the power of a mcdala compels you
Don't so Deandra's like don't me
So okay, so last year was PTSD and this year is the only thing
I still have PTSD.
Well, you want to make fun of people with PTSD.
How dare you?
How dare you?
Well, I've had trauma in my past 2, and I don't act like an asshole like you do.
And Carrie's like, oh, I'm the one you acting right now.
Like you're acting right now.
You're totally acting.
What is that acting girl?
I'm just like, um, Carrie, you know what? I'm sorry, but you haven't had an opinion all year. Are you acting right now? Like you're acting right now. You're totally acting. What is that acting girl?
I'm just like, um, Carrie, you know what?
I'm sorry, but you haven't had an opinion all year.
And now you've got like what balls of steel?
Huh?
What do you got balls of steel man?
You haven't had anything to say, I'll get it.
Here's like, um, yes I have.
You just always tell me shut up.
So.
Gah.
Girl.
Yeah, girl, I have plenty of things to say.
Okay, like for instance, um, have you ever felt the
pictorial muscles of a national football player? Yeah, and then have you ever felt marks? Do you know what a raw chicken cutlet feels like?
Have you ever put your finger inside of pudding to see if it's firm enough yet to take out of the refrigerator?
Cottage cheese have you ever just plunge your hand inside of it?
Oh
So Andy tells Brandy. Oh, how cute. So Andy's like so Brandy, you know, it seems to me watching the show for the
Five minutes a week that I watched it then itan seems probably more restrained right now doesn't change because yeah,
until the cameras go down.
Yes, because I'm sure lian, the reality star, is going to save all her craziness for not
the American public.
Yeah, so yeah, none of this is just,
none of this is reading.
So Andy's like, okay, so after,
so Carrie, remember when Lee Hans had,
Mark got his dick sucked out the roundup
and she knew the guys that did it.
Here's like, yeah, great.
Thanks for putting you short.
I just remember that.
I'm pretty sure I just remembered that.
Yes.
Thank you. And he goes, so here's my question.
Why were you receptive to the friendship?
Like, well, I wasn't.
I mean, I came in here like fuck her.
But then I found out patient zero was this ex-forest of wine
who was mad at me.
And he's like, the guy who said that Mark goes to the roundup
to get his dick sucked.
And Leanne knows the boys that done it. Now that was
a disgruntled florist. Yeah, and thanks for saying that again word for word. Andy, that
was great. Discred why? Why are any other kind of florists that see smart at the roundup
getting his dick sucked? Why are we not getting the story about Curian the Flores?
Like what happened?
First of all, it's funny that she has a Flores.
I mean, who is she, Inaigarten?
And second of all, that she disgruntled him.
How did she get her Flores mad?
She looked like...
Flores is like, you have something of it.
Oh, oh, suddenly you've got opinions about hydrangeas now, huh?
You've been quite all year about Flores and now suddenly you've got an opinions about hydrangeas now, huh? You've been quite all year about flowers and now suddenly you've gotten opinion about hydrangeas.
Basically, the florist was Deandra with a mustache on.
It was like glasses. She was like Deandra in like a groucho marks costume and like
Kerry never realized this entire time. Okay, mother, would you like the green miracle flower? Would you like that?
Wow, your people are just waiting for the florist to sign over the papers to the company.
So Andy's like, yeah, but still, you know, maybe the florist did it and then it's like,
I know Andy, I know.
And I coped to an off-spread it.
I did it.
I'm like a plastic knife, not at a barbecue.
Just spreading mayonnaise all over whatever I can.
I'm spreading it, I did it.
I am mad over here.
I am mad.
I am a mad person over here.
I would like to say that this is the most concocted bullshit I've ever had. I've ever seen my life.
I've never seen my life. Mother. Mother.
Well, listen to the lyrics to the song, Amazing Grace, and then call that ridiculous Jesus hater.
Because that's what I'm doing. I gave grace.
So, you know, hey, Jesus.
I do not hate Jesus. I'm dead.
You're acting. You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting.
You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. You're acting. Actually, he said that Mark got his dick sucked it to round up and Leanne knows the guys it did okay Andy
Yeah, who invited someone into your house said that she's like um well, you said it you've been over so
You there you go. I guess we just eat a lot of people like talking about Mark's dick where it's been what can I say
Did it was like I never said that I never said anything and she's like actually goal
You've actually said a lot worse things to me like you once you wrote a you wrote a text you wrote a sparroting text that was really mean to me girl
so they pull out this text and basically the text says they have known about this date for so long
I've had to put up with Brandy Land and Lemon Avenue laser falsche sander and everything else
I mean come on Kare and I can beat because we sell skincare products and she and her
how team have messed up so many people's faces that I know about and can't speak about. I have to say I have to be nice and play along because it's
the right thing to do. I'm sure Prava owns a portion of their business is. Mother!
Apparently she had texted us a Cameron. Yes and so Cameron immediately screen shot
at it and sent it to Carrie. Yeah and so Andy's like yeah but Cameron don't you see that
if she's sending that text to you privately,
she's not publicly disparaging Carrie.
And Brandy's like, yeah, I don't even care.
And Carrie's like, um, well, I've heard it from a lot of other people.
So it's not just talks.
It's like other people.
I thought we're friends, Sandra.
And Cameron's like, you know what?
I'm gonna call ATT two seconds.
I want to call ATT.
Okay.
I'm going to call Achtah. For a moment, I thought I was T-Mobile Okay. I'm calling it. I'm calling it.
For a moment, I thought I was T-Mobile, but it turns out I've got H-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T You got two clones and four backups. I know that much.
Also, by the way, Wendy's like, yeah, but it's not the same because she didn't publicly come for you.
I'm like, yeah, but if the base idea is like, you've talked shit about me, but I still had you over to my house and the point remains.
I mean, I'm not necessarily disagreeing with the Andred. It is pretty amazing that after all that shit,
that carry still invited Leanne and Rich over,
that is pretty hilarious,
but they seem to really like each other now.
So who knows?
Yeah, who knows?
So Cameron's like, I'm gonna call ATT.
And the Andred's like, look at my foot, Andy.
And so he's like, oh God,
like I did not do enough drugs for this, right?
So Cameron's pulling it out.
So I'll pull it up. It's right here and Carrie goes, oh, God, I did not do enough drugs for this, right? So Cameron's pulling it out. She's like, all pull it up.
It's right here.
And Carrie goes, yeah, but I mean, she could just delete it on her phone.
Andy, where are you even looking at her phone?
She's like, Andy, look at my phone.
Didn't you look at it, Andy?
And you just see how about she's right.
You could have just deleted it.
She goes, yeah, well, guess what?
I don't delete messages.
So boom with that theory.
Bye, theory.
It's like, oh, okay.
Okay. Okay.
So Cameron's like, do you think I would make something up like that?
That's hilarious.
And then the end is like, it's like tweedle deen, tweedle bitch over there, which I think
is from another reunion, man.
Probably was.
Probably was.
Just those feeling things from reunions.
Tweedle D, yeah, Tweedle D and Tweedle Bitch
has been on another reunion.
Stop craving lines.
The fact that you think that I make it,
like what do you think I am someone who engages
in proctoral magic, hash technical.
That is far and away, way far and away or than anything I thought you would ever say
people think I'm just another step for wives but only because I'd look like one on movies.
So, um, Dan just, uh, carries like, um, you're yelling at me. Why are you yelling me, Dan
and then, Lee, I go, use your words, Dandra, you're edge-emocated.
So, camera's still going, I'm gonna call AT&T right now,
right now.
And Andy's like, we are not calling AT&T, okay?
That's a whole wormhole.
I like that for two things here.
That Andy's saying we're not calling AT&T
not because we're doing a reunion right now,
but it's like, their customer service is so bad so bad and like I'm just gonna get mad and then I also like that she goes
It's true. I'm gonna call AT&T. I'm gonna fax everything
And you could just tell that like Karen Huger like woke up somewhere and she's like it's my time. It's my time someone needs me
My jam security Security my jam. Security.
Some security.
My fax machine.
Could you please forget to me?
Security.
So, um, camera is like, okay then, why don't we do a poll?
Who thinks I would make it up and Brandy goes, well, I don't think that you would, but
I definitely think Leanne would. Heeeey!
You know, like, well, this one's not about me.
They're sweethearts.
So then, Andy's like, now, yeah, I've seen a lot of ridiculous products on Bravo.
I mean, pretty much everything that Gigi's come up with, there's been a Toaster of In.
I think there was like something called
Apple Socks, like I don't get it, but I have to say the Infinity Drafts is the best idea I've
ever seen and that's not just because I'm totally stoned right now. Oh hi there Mr. Candy Kane.
He's like so Harvey, he's like talking to the invisible rabbit. Yeah. So he's like, is there any interest from QVC? I don't know,
E Vine.
Just like when really Dallas.
Where's my brother? She's like, well, no, not yet, but that's okay,
because I'd like to spend this time focusing on my relationship. I absolutely
do not care about finding some sort of business angle
for the thing I've been working on.
I absolutely don't care.
I just have to focus on Rich and Carly
and not angry at all that no one wants my dress.
175 reasons.
I'm at it all.
And the address is just rolling your eyes.
I
I'll be right at all. And the end is just rolling your eyes.
I'm so, Andy's like, to Stephanie, Stephanie,
do you believe that Leanne got better?
And Stephanie's like, well, I saw her focus.
Oh, and she wasn't reacting.
But then towards the end, like, she was triggered, Andy.
Like she was triggered.
And then I was like, yeah, because the post in post
and post me and post me and post me and
the bus.
No, we get it.
Okay, we get it.
Now to be fair, my car did stall out on Leanne Drive.
And the near service station was at Leanne Place.
They were actually doing, they were actually doing me a favor. No, you know what?
I own it, I own it.
I'm gonna say thank you.
Thank y'all for pushing me, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
So now it's like the Leanne talking shit about Brandi Montage,
which may be part of what you were talking about.
Was Brandi trying to provoke Leanne at the frapp party?
And Brandi's like, he started it, he started it, he started it.
I'm like, Lizanne.
No, she did.
Hi, Bonnie.
Time to get off your high pony.
You were drunk, okay.
And that's fine, just admit it.
Just say like you were drunk and feeling salty.
And so you started.
Yeah, they're like, yeah, they're all using that.
Is this huge thing against each other?
Like they're drunk, you're drunk.
You're always drunk.
Your boss is drunk right now.
How about everybody just fucking calm down with that?
Leanne's excuse for calling Brandy an alcoholic was that she got drunk and said it, okay?
Like it's just a draw at this point, you're all drunks.
Yeah, you're all drunks, he cares, and you're both immature, okay?
And then Andy's like, yeah, but do you think that Brandy's like she touched me she touched me and Andy's like yeah, but don't you think you're antagonizing your a little bit
She's like no, no not at all. She totally started it and then Stephanie's like yeah
Well, she did kind of like antagonizer, but you should never put your hand on somebody like never
You should never ever ever put your finger on somebody and he's like yeah
I remember in the end when you were hissing like a cobra just like
Yeah, that's pretty good right. That's good
No, because he goes remember you were hissing like a cobra and the hand goes was I and then everyone goes
Yeah, yeah, like yeah
Yard girl girl girl mother
So um yeah, so pretty much everyone's like Brandi you were trying to start it and so brand
It's like so did you guys were you really trying to start the season off in a good place and Brandi said
I made an effort to start the season in a good way and it's like so what set you off Brandi? What said me off?
What's that me off?
What said me off what sent me off?
Yeah, so what did set you off but you like?
Listen when you told when you told teandra to like be careful of me and she told me like I knew you were drunk And I didn't say anything. I waited till you were sober. I'd like you did who's a bitch and I was like
Are you drunk right now that made no sense what you just said? Yeah, that made no sense
She's saying I could have called you for being a drunk
and I didn't.
Because you were drunk right then.
You're a bitch.
Yeah.
So stupid.
And Leanne's like, who cares?
I was wasted.
Care is not enough.
Call it.
Yeah.
And I like that brandy who is like, I didn't confront you.
The Abbas sober, but you were drunk.
And I could have confronted you.
And Cameron's like, how are you sober after like two
barbongs at the road?
So it's over eight hours, Cameron.
And Liam's like, I never said don't trust her anyway.
That's not what I said.
I didn't say don't trust, and the ender goes,
yeah, you said, be careful.
You said, be careful.
Whoa.
Why is that a bad thing?
Brandy just pretended to be friends with Liam last year
so she could be mean to Stephanie for a six episode arc
You know and treat her like shit for no reason. That's like the nicest person of the world
Yeah, so why wouldn't Leanne say be careful. She got dumped and betrayed for no reason
That's what I don't understand with all this which is that Leanne saying be careful. I think it's like a pretty
Like it's a pretty benign thing overall.
Compare to, you know, saying your husband got his dick sucked.
You know, I think that, you know, it's like, yes, they're trying to build their relationship,
but also at the same time, like they were friends last season and then all of a sudden,
not all of a sudden, but like brandy for various reasons yelled at Leanne.
And like, who saw you on that?
It's like almost immaterial because if you're just looking from Leanne and like who saw you are on that is like almost immaterial because
if you're just looking from Leanne's perspective she's saying yeah like I'm building back
trust with her but be careful because this is what happened to me when I was friends with
her.
So, but of course also what's being lost in this is the fact that Deandra who's talking
about loyalty just goes and tells Brandy all of this which is really the shadiest part of
it all if you ask me and so brandy
is to make it sound like liana's being meaner. Yeah, and basically there's just like a in my view it feels like some things are just not being articulated well which is that essentially
like brandy and d andra they go out they party together and they act silly they act like sillyunken, you know, sorority girls, and it's
like not a good look on Deandra because Deandra is part of this nebulous society we keep
hearing about, and that's what Leanne's saying, is like that basically just gets drunk together
and there's not like a real friendship there, it's just that they're drinking buddies,
which honestly, I don't think it's such a bad thing, but it's all getting twisted up
in this like, oh, like Brandi has a drinking problem. Brandi is an alcoholic
Which I don't think Leanne was implying but she could do herself a favor by articulating herself a whole lot better
Yeah, it's just it all gets lost and I was like well when they get to the finale
They'll have see or they were meeting those seeing all of these scenes and so it'll be obvious what everybody did and how it got twisted
But they still don't you know, it's like nobody even watched it
But I think that also I think that Deandra also really has like real issues about being,
she has insecurity issues that stem from her mom and like being told what to do because
you can see that when like as they start to pivot into like, let's talk about alcoholism
and before they dive into a camera it's like Deandra, your boob is coming out.
I think that's your nipple.
And Deandra's like, she gets like a squiggly Charlie Brown face and like a shaky boy.
She's like, thanks Cameron. Thanks, thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks, Lock Cameron. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Like she's the way D. It's almost as if she's like
grafting onto that interaction,
basically probably experiences of like D so many times
undermining her with like little poking out little things
with the Andrew, you know?
Yeah, so D saw it.
She was like, that reminded me of the time
that I was in high school and my mother said,
bring your nipple away.
And I had to throw my nipple away.
It's like still traumatized.
Yeah.
So Andy's like, so where did this word alcohol it come from?
I mean, where did that come from?
And she's like, well, I look, I'll Uber the cams event
because I was tired.
And I used the word alcohol because I had heard it
a million times, okay?
I'll just say it one time.
That's, I'll just say it one time.
It's no big deal.
And he goes, yeah, but do you still think
she has a drinking problem?
And she goes, no. And Andy goes, does anyone think Brandy has a drinking problem? And
they all say, no. Yeah. Even after Brandy told you that she sometimes drinks the bottle
of bed to go to sleep at night. No. So he's like, okay. Well, do you see why she would
be mad? That's a big accusation. She goes, yes. And I apologize to her. And I told everyone
here about how sorry I was. And Brandy is like, but, and I apologize to her. And I told everyone here about how sorry
I was. And Brandy is like, but you said I wasn't sophisticated enough to be an alcoholic.
And then they all jump on her like, how could you see that? It doesn't take sophistication
to be an alcoholic. I know we're watching Bravo. Yeah, we're literally watching like a
network devoted to alcoholics. Sorry, that was an accusation. That was a heavy accusation
But don't worry the next meetings down there on Leanne Ridgeway
So um, Leanne's like listen. I was being a smart ass. I sure don't have said it
But why would you say it? I'm very sophisticated and Stephanie
Stephanie goes and steals Cameron's lunch goes. I think you just have to be careful with your words
So that's be careful a wise woman once that's me
Yes, so then she's like whatever. I'm sorry brandy. I apologize. There is sincerely forever saying you were an alcoholic
I am so so sorry. I will never do it again. I promise you you know
I'm so, so sorry. I will never do it again.
I promise you, you know,
what is it?
I was gonna say sticks and stones, but whatever.
She's like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm burning like, thank you.
So then we get to, so, Leon, you said on your blog
that you recorded a conversation with Mama D about Sandra
and that you could play it to prove your story is correct.
So you recorded a conversation
She has will I've got my issues with mama D and Dan Drew as well. They're like, uh, could you answer the question?
Did you record it? Did you record it? That is the question. That is the question. I want that truth. I want that truth
She goes well, Dandre why don't you just jump and a lake and drown and then the whole audience and Jerry Springer like
She just continues on like all right, they can't help be golden
So you know, we'll just let that go
I like that won't got away from me a little bit that won't go away from me. Sorry about that
Sorry, everyone listen. I was being a smart ass. What can I say? I was shit talker, right?
Anyway, how about you throw yourself into a volcano burn burn to death how about that I worked for everyone.
Yeah, it's better.
Oh, she's like well, I just, uh, yeah, she goes well, I didn't, I didn't use the word and
I knew that I didn't work use the word and I wanted everyone to know that I was positive
I didn't use the word and that I felt positive and they knew that I felt positive because
I could have a recording of that somewhere so I wanted it to be very clear that I
had a recording even though I didn't have a record and he's like so you lied about
it and she's and Stephanie's yes he lies don't do that lies back listen I'm
really good at lying okay I don't trust people so when I think you're not gonna
have my back I'm gonna have my own back like, it's easy for me to say things like, yeah, the sun is shining
on a rainy day. Yeah, the earth is flat when I know it's round. Yeah, I deleted that video in
the Baltic Sea of Brandy with her chits and didn't send it to anyone at all. It's easy. See the man.
That's what I call you by and I am.
I am.
Um, so ridiculous. So Dandra's just cracking up because that story made no sense that Lee and just gave.
Yes.
And you record conversation.
Yes.
Or no.
And she's like, well, phone conversations.
Yeah.
Of course, for sure.
And carries like, what?
That is not okay.
Okay.
Girl.
And Andy says that's very homeroidal of you.
They was like, I don't know what that means,
but I'll just like scrunch my cheek to the right a little bit.
And then she's like, yeah, well,
oh, I just mean business conversations.
And they're like, no, that's not what you,
that's not what you're making it sound like. So like, well, you know what I said about Lyno, I just wrap it up I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying that I'm saying on a chicken's feather underneath a Poodle's eyebrow about what you think about my knee bone
You think I give a snail trail a glitter crap about what you just said right now. You know that one, Andy
So
Good what a great show if you're not watching it. You're really missing out. We can't we can't and
Say how much we love it enough but you guys
Thank you for listening. We got our band-up of rules recap coming up on our next episode
So stay tuned for that because we are going to
Territory part Territory shreds nice jacks. We don't believe it. We don't believe in new jacks. Not at all
now
We we're gonna tear it up in Nashville. Yeah, we were gonna tear it up and mash real.
Yeah, we were gonna see you guys there,
but we were gonna have a ton of our vibes.
Yeah, mother.
So we will talk to you all later.
Bye everyone.
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