Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Van Gough, Girl!

Episode Date: October 4, 2018

The Real Housewives of Dallas take a dog painting class. Who will be the messiest betch among them? And who pooped on the floor by the cellist? Find out! This week's bonus is a deep dive into schlocky network TV shows. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited HEY BETCH tees through September at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Shivoni, she don't take no baloney. Christy, wow, where'd he dowry? Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Just saying, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Susie going to the Tobin. Anna. God I love that banana. Anderson. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayer Taylor. Avadigila Weber. And our super premium Patreon

subscribers. Savannah it's my birthday month, cook-roft. Heligrand, big grandmaster. Give them home, Miss Noel. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on yo bros. I'm Ronnie

I'm also from the Rose Creek's bachelor podcast and I'm with my little bestie in a net husband bend and co-host Mr. Ben Madelco. Hello, Ben. Hi, how's it going? Good. Welcome to Real Housewives of Dallas day y'all first Oh my god, get you I'm gonna do this really fast guys because I know when you listen to this every day It's annoying, okay, so get ready. Here we go live shows New York next week our next Dallas recap will be live from the Grand Ossetiana New York City and that is Thursday night next week and then Friday We're gonna be doing real housewives of New York the second Morocco episode season four episode 10 It's the second Morocco episode, season four episode 10. It's the third Morocco episode.

God, I cannot get that. I've not done that right once. No, it's in the band. Season four episode 10. You were correct about that. Season four episode 10 and last call Morocco. OK, so that. Then in November, we're going to Seattle

and December, we're going to Nashville. Go get your tickets. Also, tickets this go on week Gordel tickets go on sale this week Friday morning for the annual crappy awards in January We've only got about 150 tickets for that so get your ass over there and get you some tickets That's always a star-studded event And it's gonna be a huge party So go get your tickets for the yet. And we're still looking into a second date for Charleston.

Hopefully we'll announce that soon. And that's it for that. Get your HeyBets t-shirts. It's the last week for that, because I'm on a little bit late of a schedule. So go get those over at watchworkcrapons.com. That's also where you'll find ticketing links. OK?

Just scroll down. There's a little schedule of all our live shows. Thanks to everybody. Can't wait to see you in New York. Thank you for listening to Crappens and goodbye. We are done. Yeah.

Oh, I'm excited for everything we have coming up over the next four months. But most importantly, I am excited to talk about Real Housewives of Dallas because it was so funny last night. Oh my God, so good. This, well, they tricked us, you know, because we opened this episode with the kids screaming and I was like, God damn it, Brandy!

But it was Brandy's kids. It was Cameron's. Yeah, and we should have realized it wasn't Brandy's kids because they screamed for only like a few seconds and then settle down so So Cameron's like mommy and daddy don't know S. Span y'all So we're trying to learn all the terms of cooking in Span y'all

It's important that our kids know Spanish It's important that our kids know Spanish because there are other countries in the world and our kids need to be able to talk to those And as we know every country that's not America speaks as Span y'all They've learned Spanish since they were babies have the world speak Spanish How are they gonna babies. Have the world speak Spanish. How are they going to talk to have the world if they don't speak Spanish? They have to learn Spanish. It's important because the world speaks Spanish. Have you seen... Oh, look.

Oh, look. that's all. How do you say mommy in Spanish? She's like, It's a very good kid. It's very good. How do you say butter in Spanish? Mobile Sito? No. No.

Oh yeah. Oh, she goes, how do we, oh, courts like, I'm going to say butter in Spanish. No My bad She goes how do we oh courts like I know how to say it's Montaquia. I'm a fat kid. I was like well that is going to lot I mean look I'm a fat kid too, but I'm better than you okay smile a little court pickork. Pick it up. Pick it up, Cork. I swear, half the world speaks spinach. If you don't know spinach, how are you going to talk to half the world? Luckily, Cork knows some spinach. He can say Montecito. I know how to see animals, parodog, cat, polo,

Elephanto, face makeup, chicken, donkey, like, now you're just saying English words. Carpet, can't have everything. Domblans, get no to seat-dood, smart blondes, get No To See Toad, Smart Blons, Get Everything Go.

Are you gonna make a Toot-D list or a Toot-O list? Now my kids can read signs that janitors leave on floors. So, she's like, even though court is super critical of sparkle dog I'm going to keep her suing this because it's important to me and sparkle dog And court's like member when mommy kicked and we almost burned down the house idiot And you love that pumpkin elephant Oh, okay, you loved it and the ladies like Okay, you loved it and the ladies like

Moe who says I I I this was so good to go the girl little girl little girl goes I yeah Yeah, I think I think it was Hilton said I Yeah, camera goes what does that mean? She's like it means goodness or something. She's like uh-oh my Spanish is muy teroblio So then court does basically whatever he, he basically is like, okay, well, I'm a former fat kid and I now suddenly have, I suddenly have resentment towards my wife about all this. So I'm going to force her to eat a cupcake on camera. He's like, Hey, Cruz, you think mommy could eat this whole cupcake in one bite? And she's like, Oh my God, are you making me do this? Yeah, put it in your

mouth. And she basically stuffs a cupcake in her mouth, which you know, is mortifying for her. Yeah. And then she spits it all over the floor because, you know, they've got the lady who speaks Spanish to clean it up. Sorry Cito about the cupcake you on Del Flore. Limpio up my barfito from my abusive husband, Dio. L-Shorto dissatisfied man-o. Domains make cupcakes, smart maids, clean chewed cupcakes off the floor. I would never bash an adopted cupcake. So dandra is at home with second chance second chance step kid.

Cohen Cohen and yeah he's in the kitchen make clearly making a sandwich and Deandra walking us. Hey what you doing making a sandwich in Deandra walking us, hey, what you do in making a sandwich? Like, yes, he really has just put the second piece of bread on top of a stack of cold cuts. And it's not amazing how he's like the hot version of the nerdy or guy. They look like they're played by the same act. It's very like double trouble happening.

Yeah. It's very double trouble as play. It's almost like like, uh, I almost like, I felt like there was something pertaining to Rob Lowe in this, but I guess not, but I feel like Rob Lowe would somehow play. Rob Lowe would play Cohen and the other one in the movie version of Cohen and the other one, you know. Is this a parent trap?

So, Dandra is like trying real hard. You like school, you like school, you're gonna be here with me. Come on I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I I will sleep in the closet. I literally don't care She's like, right we are becoming closer. He is on break and I am his stepmother, but I also his frame you making a sandwich You made a sandwich. Hey Hey, hey fake son. I have a question. What do you think about my sleeves? I got three stars and three banana peels on them What do you think about that sort of like a marry card thing that I'm going for but not really? Three stars and three banana peels on them. What do you think about that? Sort of like a Mario Kart thing that I'm going for but not really After last year's complete failure with Keaton

I've decided to drag you okay now don't bring laundry unless I made this here okay because it will be pink You will be pink about on the laundry and I'm just gonna circle back about that question about my sleeves You still still have an answer. Do you like the stars? I'm gonna outpeel. Is that work for you? Is that a good look? No? Ding dong! I'm in the hands here. No, it's me. Mother, let me in. Yeah, so D. Mama D shows up. She's like, and then D. Andrew's like, ha! Cohen's here. And D's's like goes from being oh he is hey I'm so happy that the grandson I will never have is here Well hello there Cohen now who's more gorgeous do not lie just because you don't want to make the answer cry on your sandwich

Now say something not about the angels ridiculous leaves. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make.

That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make.

That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we make. That's the year we about that Capri Sun you just drank out of a pouch. How about that Cohen? Oh a pouch! A pouch! Oh that's nice. Oh I hope you don't drop that pouch on the floor and step on it by action because you know pouches do not hold up like a good old Mayo jar. He's like hello mama D and he gives her like a really warm hug and she's like what is this? Something gets just turned off of me please. this. Some of it just came off of me, please. Do I do I it's fans those are shoulder blades. Okay. Tap tap tap. Listen here Walrus. Me and your me and your wish you was your mother instead of a dried addle bone are gonna have business meeting. See you might want to put some earplugs on. Okay.

Hey did you just make yourself a sandwich? Oh, I so you did. Oh, yes, mother, I pointed that at first. Okay. Oh, well, okay. I guess you get it from me then. Some of us just have natural sandwich observation tendencies. So he said, okay, bye. I'm going to go roll around and money upstairs. So he and the Andrian, uh, do have a seat and, uh, say, well, what are, we can talk about today Your jellies and your full shit convocs that didn't get us anywhere mother. Okay, I want to talk about separating Companies and we're not gonna be able to Negotiate yeah

I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital.

I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital.

I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in a hospital. I'm in to concentrate, but it looks like Mr. Sniffle up against is trying to eat me are those eyelashes that you're wearing what the

Hey, I'm sorry did someone take your jacket and like haven't knocked into a girder because I'm just seeing lots of stars around it So sick I'm gonna talk about super companies mother and she's like I feel like we don't have the same opinion and we don't listen to each other. And even me, he's taking my company and starting at zero. It's stressful for me. I think we both gone through stress, dang it. Why don't one feel stress? I don't feel that way, bad to you, mother. And she's like, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, complete unwillingness to even pretend that she has feelings is it just makes me feel so warm inside.

I know exactly. I just love the way she stares down Deandra and just is constantly dismissing her with her eyes and that person's lips. Like you're so angry. And have you noticed that her criticisms in her head seem to be the same ones that Dandra has of Leand. Crocodile tears, because here she comes, the tears and D's like, oh, shut up. Yeah. And there's another thing coming up later that I was like, God, she's really just reenacting her mother's issues.

It's like me, you know, like, it's like me with eyelashes and hair. Exactly. We've all been traumatized by that. Yeah. So basically Dandra is like going on about, you know, she's like, I mean, I don't know how to separate my companies and like, mother, you have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. I can't go on. Just holding on to times. No one that we're living

separate companies. You know, I dated Willie Nelson once. What a wimp. Okay. So he's like, well, Deandra, if I may call you that, I don't know, if you've gone by a different name like Wizard Warlock face with those stars and Dan, that be old anyway. So Deandra, I'm 77. Do I woke up one day and I thought to myself, do I really want to continue this battle? This battle that my own daughter is putting me through in my old age, and even though I built this company, myself, my own blood sweat and tears, with no help from a thankless daughter, I should mention, do I still want to battle over my daughter? Do I still want to sit here and watch everything crumble around me because of my daughter no

Just take it you know, I would have given this company to my tree partner Jesus, but he hadn't signed the papers yet So just take it to Andrew. Just take it. I don't need it. You are all I have okay. I don't need it I swear I'll just sit here in the corner and find some crumbs to satisfy my appetite. Now that my main hunger has been replaced with something hardly satisfying. That's fine, just take it. Take my blouse work. It's fine. I don't need it. I guess I guess our relationship is more important. So when you say I can take it, how much, how much do you mean? 70%? No, 100% dangerous.

But why not? Why can't you just be happy? Dangerous how about that just try being happy She's like uh, uh, I'm a little shocked better. I'm just a little shocked. Well, I'm shocked too But I am happy shocked. Can you see a happy shocked face look at this face? This is the face of a happy shock Like you ever see someone like a strip of lightning and they're like wow that felt great. That's what my face of a happy shock. Like you ever see someone like a strip of lightning and they're like, wow, that felt great. That's what my face is, a happy shock. Well, I gave the keys the last year to Dandra and I thought to myself she wasn't ready yet.

But now I just realized I've did soon, who cares? You know, here's how it can happen. She could either do really great and be successful, LOL. Or she could just crash and burn. In which case, I'll get to say I tell you so and tell tell it take my last breath It's a win-win for me Yeah, you know last year, you know when I gave you those keys. I was like I don't know I don't think she's ready, but the kid knew says this year. I I think that now you actually are still not ready

But I want us so you fail and a million does too. So we're just gonna see on the sideline Need some popcorn low fat of course Now Do you want me to come on the 700 Club with you? Honestly when D said that D'Andre was going to be taking over a hundred percent of the company I could have sworn I saw her eyes turned red and see like little flames like a hundred Percent that's right next time Amelia has an issue with her turtle. Guess what you have to deal with it not me all right Guess what when you come into the office in the morning

It's you have to make powder with everyone and everyone's cubicle. Okay. That's you now Oh good luck learning Morseco stupid Next time your BHS tape gets tangled in your TV V VCR combo guess what? That's you who has to fix it So Deandra says I believe in what you built mother and I'm so honored to okay, okay, okay now look and now we can be a great mother of daughter Right we never mother in daughter relationship, okay, do just do what you want to do She's like mm-hmm. I'm gonna see a signature of the dotted line before I believe it. Well, that's my baby right there. Okay. Ooh, I feel like a thousand pounds just been lifted off my shoulders.

It must be like what Germany feels like when you get off them in bed, huh? My right, my right. Mother, that is so mean, mother. I'm just saying, don't be jealous. Well, I am glad that we have solved this. God, finally, I'm just turning everything over to ding. I just got a notification over to the thing. Oh, I just got a notification from Wells Fargs. Looks like you went over your allowance

at some cowboy hat store. I'm taking this company back. You idiot. Now, Deandra, you are my only child. I have no one else in this world. You're my only thing. And even though you have chosen to make the final years of my life miserable and said and separated me from the thing that I built and love so much I choose you and I hope you can live with that You will live with that, won't you? So Stephanie and Cruz Stephanie is taking her kids some place. Oh to a dance studio

Yeah, and I love that Stephanie is such a whisk. She even goes to a dance place called Alpha. Please, please help me. I can't do this without Travis. What do I even go? What do I even do? Yeah, so she brings Cruz in to learn hip hop. She brings both her sons. Cruz and I forget the other ones name Chance. and he brings Cruz in to learn hip hop, which brings both her sons, Cruz,

and I forget the other ones named Chance. And so basically Cruz has been, had been feeling a little down in the dumps because of his learning disability, and I guess he was feeling low self esteem, but he's taking a shine to dancing. So Stephanie wants to really nurture that. So they're gonna do some dance lessons. So we see like a little hip-hop

lesson. It's fun, it's cute. I would like to say for the record that Cruz is a better dancer than I am. So congratulations, Cruz. You have advanced past me. And everything's going fine. And Stephanie is like, you know, voicing concerns about like, what am I doing with that Travis? I'm just a P.M. Pleaser. I have to be a leaser. I don't know how to do it. And then we see chance he tears off Cruz's shirt, you know, they're like rough housing, but it's like a pretty, it's a pretty dick move for one brother to do to another. And of course, little Cruz starts to cry because he's embarrassed and sad and mad. And Stephanie is

version of just plenty is like, that's mean, you shouldn't do that. No, that's mean you shouldn't do that no it's mean i don't like that i don't like that we're not gonna do that you guys are gonna be best fans right just be best fans right look i brought you here to dance class you know i thought it would help with your depression look you're not the widest person in the world i am i am yeah hip-hop hooray that's not done to my right that's that's I am. I am hip hop. Hooray. I touched my right. Pass that touch. So yeah, so basically it was just a scene showing that Stephanie is a pushover for her kids and she's afraid that one's Travis goes out of town.

It's just going to be full on hell in the household, which probably will be. Yeah. Yeah. So then we go to Leanne talking to her dog. She's just sitting there on the couch talking to her dogs. He's like, can you hear me? I just saw you look at me and my father and you. Am I boring you? Welcome back the way.

Can't you? You can hear me. And it cuts to Carly just sitting there. And Carly is being lian, such a side. I was like, wow, I get the feeling that Carly is the lian of dogs. Carly's like, woof I get the feeling that Carly is the Leanne of dogs. Carly's like, wolf, this bitch won't stop talking to me, wolf, wolf. Why aren't you texting me back, Carly?

They're just paws, but they work. Cloth, wow, wolf, wolf. So Cameron calls, she's like, hi, girl. She's like, hey, girl, I'm looking at wedding stuff and I can feel my eyes growl So it's just so difficult when when when when when one can my wedding how many people say about this is so fat? I'm a girl Yeah, so cam's like yeah, come on over girl We're gonna be doing like it's like a bring your dog and we're gonna paint our dogs Painting party me. I was like we're gonna paint our dogs. I. Leigh is like, we're gonna paint our dogs.

I have pink curly curl. I won't like that. I was like, I won't like that. And so, Kim was like, no, we're gonna paint on can. This is, or as they say in Spanish, El Barito's. Oh, so we're inviting kids and Leigh Ann goes, everyone's kids, which I think is what America was thinking as well. And you know who she means? Yes, exactly.

And then Leigh-Anne goes, I am 100% sure Oscar children just want me a presence. I was like, I think it's adults too. It goes across all age groups. It's like, we have a lot in. So Rich comes in and he's like, she's like, have you thought about your tux? He's like, what about the one I own, honey?

It's like you need a new one. Have you been married in that old one? He's like, well, I haven't been married in this one. I wouldn't fit in it if it was one of my wedding texts. It's God I was thin back then. Jesus I was sexy. God, all my best years spent with those other ladies. She's like, Dammit, Rins. Carly's like, whoop. You better get in your talks, whoop, whoop. He's like, well,

look at that. Carly just texted me back. Dammit, Rins. So, uh, Lanz, like, so are you gonna be standing the front of the El Tor? Are you gonna be at the front? Are you walking? Are you gonna be already up there? And he's like, well, usually when I get married, I'm already down there. Probably just getting such a side dog side eye from that comment. I love that he's just cracking himself up. He loves fucking with the end.

Also, it just goes to prove the old adage. You know, you give a man a new eye patch patch and suddenly he's on top of the world. To mean he got a new, he got the cutest eye patch. It's so fashionable. And now look at his confidence. He's like, I'm sticking my penis in whatever I want. Fresh eye patch, you know. So, uh, Lian's like, well, I've decided to invite 130 people in my list.

How many are in yours? He's, he's like, uh uh 30 and that's being liberal she's like okay great so we'll plan for 200 like wait what you know just we're probably gonna forget about 40 people I guarantee it well I'm looking at it being on paper about a quarter of a million dollars like whoa he's like I'll just pick my chair honey look what they told me because I was I was from Spest Woman and I just don't think she wasn't here for me. He's like, well, honey, you know, sometimes people just don't want you to talk to

him. And if you keep talking to him, that's called stalking. Yeah. And Leanne is in full melodramatic mode. She's like, I just don't know where I'm staying with the Andra. I mean, I can feel my heart cracking. It is cracking right now. He's like, no, you're actually got my femur. You got my femur. Oh, sorry, Rich. So he makes her call, uh, Dandra, and you know, Dandra is being shady because it rings one time and then goes to voice mail Which means yeah, so She's like I just a lot. That was my family. That was my family. No, I don't have a family

Who's gonna put me up on the thing that the someone throws a ball at to make me dunk in the water Who's gonna throw a rye in my car. He's gonna ride like that. So he's like, well, she said, he's like, well, honey, you have a family and you're gonna be fine. This is what, what should I call it? Stupid girl stuff. She's like, well, stupid girl stuff hurts.

I love too hard. I'm a hard lover. Look at me, look at the way I love Carly, or I love too hard and feeling good. Well, it's okay to love hard, but if you're not getting it back, just lay back, it'll settle. Like, okay, stop using divorce terms. It's time for commercial, it's time for a... Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling,

and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or W yeah. Crap them's commercial. So then Carrie and Mark and their struggle storyline. Yeah. Mark, you're kidding me. Yeah. Rob, gross. Mark, you're gross.

Okay. It's the morning. They're there with Zuri and Carrie is talking about how she can't wait to move back in the house because there's a potential that they can move in earlier once the floors are put in and there's some paint Because she does not want to live in this house when her parents come back from the desert Because you know, it's like living in a museum with a where the people who own the museum are looking at you, etc So she has this whole like parental trauma that she is still reeling from yeah, cuz she had to like put things away She's like yeah, I would put a glass in the wrong spot

oh and get disappointed so it was pretty hard going out I'm sure it was difficult like uh so you had to put your clothes away oh my god the trauma from now on when someone told me to put a glass away I'm gonna immediately tell someone else where the glass was put I just that's what it is transparency it's just so sad watching her basically repeat this pattern by marrying the most anal person in the world, Mark. Yeah, not even seeing it, you know, yeah, because everything she's describing is Mark, you know, yeah, you're right. It's totally true. So they decide to look at some photo albums to show

Zuri, her cousins in Copenhagen because that's where all her cousins live in Denmark which sort of setting up the cast trip that's coming down the pike. My fingers are crossed that one of her cousins is Caroline Fleming's, that we can get the return appearance of Caroline Fleming on Bravo. She's probably a no tool.

She's gonna find the no tools in Denmark. You're right. So. Are you a no tool? Are you a no tool? So carry is once again, like, foisting the storyline on us about like, oh, you know, I didn't really have a good relationship with my father, you know, like, we didn't really have, I want these like father-daughter moments and I never really had them. So I want to go Denmark and I kind of

feel like if I go to Denmark, I'll have a good relationship with my cousins and then use that to have a good relationship with my dad. I was like, hmm, this is not sounds. Yeah. I don't understand a lot. You're leaving your dad's house before he comes home to go to Denmark to meet cousins. He probably doesn't even know. Like this is this makes no sense. But I'm glad you're going to Denmark. Please don't make me watch your solo storyline anymore because frankly, it's painful. Okay. And I like you, Carrie, but Jesus Christ. Zuri's the best thing in this. She kisses a picture because she's like,

do you want to see pictures? She's like, not really mother. So she shows her and say, that is pretty. And kisses it. And I just want to save Zuri. I want to like drive over there, throw her in the trunk of my car

and find her a decent home, you know? Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't know if I want to save her because I feel like she's doing really well. Just the way that she bosses everyone around at the dog at the dog painting thing, I was like, you know what, this gets being raised right. Yeah, she's terrifying all the little boys, you know?

It's wonderful. So speaking of which, we then go over to this event and Cameron shows up and she puts her dog, Louie in like a stroller. She's like, little dogs need strollers because they need to feel protected. Also, little dogs get really tired walking long distances because they've got little feet.

I'm like, you're literally going from your car into a building and up in elevator. You're not like trekking from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia. Yeah and the music it's like they wrote her a new theme just for Cameron. It's a groovy music. I heard it. It's like I totally noticed that I was like there's some special Cameron music going on. It's like isn't it detective or is it just a blonde lady trying to sell dog food? Or it's just a complete moron? We don't know.

Let's put it all on the song. Yeah, that's many different layers. It works in so many different ways. So they get upstairs and Adam from Blueprint is their Blueprint, which is owned by a calm cast. How convenient. They're all over everything, man. Geez. Yeah. So he's going to be the leader of the class. Also adorable. Love you, Adam. Yes.

Exactly. This company, Blueprint, has a painter that actually can come and teach everyone how to paint their dog. Cameras like unsolicited testimony for the blueprint services, which include craftsy, by the way. Natural, totally natural. So she's like, um, we have to get this party set up because if you don't have your party set up right, then your vibe is bad at the beginning of the party. That's horrible, but elephant horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible.

That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible.

That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. That's horrible. at and there's only three people she's like mmm this quartet mean for I need my esponialist dictionary

os oh all I see is a trio and not a quartet I I ordered a quartet so dandercom she's like all right what are we doing got my little dogs you look darling you look real darling. Thanks girl So why is there a trio here? We were advertised a quartet why is there a trio and also why is there a trio in the first place anyway What's this classical music doing here? I only recognize violins if they're part of a fiddle factory So then she's got her little dogs Dixie and Gypsy and Cameron's like, um, I just feel today We can do something that I love to do torture torture trailer No, I was an orc major Then I can never tell this that no one ever asked me

Including the University No one ever knew. Basically, I was an art major because I kept walking around museums and saying, wow, that art is so major. So Leanne comes in with her dog and Carly immediately grabs a glass with her teeth and like throws it against a wall. Speak the truth. And then you're like, I've responded to Leanne because I'm you time to reflect and must ran to Jesus' days to basically know her.

Yeah, that's nice. I let a standard mad about it again. I just can't with this storyline. Stop being stupid. So you need to be friends. OK, I don't even care who's wrong. You need to be friends. No one wants you't even care who's wrong. You need to be friends. No one wants you to watch you traips

in a random's of third wheel for Brandy and fucking Stephanie, okay? I know. She's mad because she feels that Leanne is not being forthright about why she and Rich have knock on and married. And then it was further exacerbated when Leanne told Kerry that Deandra only has $200

in her bank account and she humiliated Deandra. And now she's just furious and not talking to Leanne much the same way that her mother did not talk to her for the past four weeks. So, yeah, true. Well, but she got a company out of it. So you see, it's all D's fault. The other day. Yeah, it always comes down to D. So I like when Leanne entered the party because she's like well here I am Leanne lock and walking into a room nothing's going wrong here, and then she like hears the classical music playing She's like whoa What's going on here? What are those three gentlemen doing there were those sticks and sticks and wooden things what's going on here? It's like very very

Startled by the fanciness. So now Brandy is super dramatic story by end of having to get a nanny it is How hard I just count that other people help me I know But I was very grateful that they didn't make us sit through and listings of nanny auditions because that's also a tired trope on bravo Like who's gonna be the nanny or who's gonna be the assistant? I'm glad it just was like, okay, we hired this bitch. Here's the baby. He's teething. Take care of it. I'm off to go paint some dogs. When you finally find someone that won't give Brian a boner, you just think Jesus. So this girl comes in. She's great with kids or whatever. so Brandy's like well okay I'm gonna go now she keeps staring at the baby. I don't want to wake him but he might cry when I leave

yeah yeah so Brandy does not bring her dog sugar because sugar doesn't get along with other dogs. Going to the black liiiinnn. So then we go back to the event. And so all the kids have shown up. Pretty much everyone has shown up except for Brandy. Stephanie is there. Stephanie didn't bring Biscuit, which I feel like was rude. I feel like this was a very biscuit friendly event. And she's like, well, I can't even bring a biscuit

with the kids. So I chose the kids. My girl, let's call the leash. Put them on your children and bring biscuit. Yeah, exactly. So the kids were hilarious in this. The kid drama was really good. This is one of the rare times where the kids on a Bravo show

were like absolutely hilarious. Even Brandy's. So I mean, Brandy's kids are like winning their way into my heart. They are hilarious I know we start a camera and talking like a kid because she's a host and so camera's one of those people who's always hosting a party at Chuckie cheese, you know It's like something being thrown up really slowly and then coming down really, but she, but you know that she's always like hello I'd like to speak with Charles Edward cheese, please. I'd like to make a reservation at his restaurant I understand that in our families, Mr. Cheese women don't normally have jobs Mr. Cheese, women don't normally have jobs. But choose mine.

Choose your ball pits carefully. It's nice to do something with children, so I don't have to leave them with the nanny. Like the nanny is right behind you. I love this is Cameron has the dream life. This is how I want to raise my kids. It's like I even brought the nanny. It's called being a good mother. I have to say the dogs were also cracking me up because we didn't mention this but when Leansh up with Carly, I think it was the Andres dogs that

were like tied up to some cart. They just like went ape shit over Carly and started running towards Carly and started dragging this big ass cart of paints And just this side of this cart being dragged with these two little dogs I was just like cracking up and there was a shot later on of Carl It is like also really winning its way into my heart because there was a shot at one point Carl who was just sort of like Trotting across the floor with her leash just like behind her just like I'm gonna kill all these dogs Like she just had this look like all these fucking little dogs. This is my partner now

You know what I'm talking about. Yes, because that's Bueller when he goes in somewhere He's like always trying to start shit, but he like marks the perimeter like she did He's just like trotting around the perimeter, looking around with a big smile on his face. Like, which one should I eat first? Yeah. So then also what was funny was Zuri and Cruz, like they pair up immediately and speaking of cards, they find a card to push.

And she's like, okay, I'm going to show you how to push a card and you're going to follow me. And Cruz is like, okay, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am. So yes, I like that pink. That's my favorite color. He's like, can I push it? She's like, no. I'm doing it.

Push the cards around here. So then we got to Brandi's picking her kids up from school and Brooklyn, as usual, is just throwing up temper tantrum. She's like, I wasn't going home. I'm home. I needed. She's like, I'm hot. I

guess because she was wearing, she was not like, we're wearing a little sweatshirt or something. She's like, I'm hot. I'm hot. I'm getting overheated. I'm getting overheated. Which is also like me every single night in bed. That's like, and then she keeps hitting the go pros in the car. She like hates it so spacing down. And then they fix it. And then the other one's like eating the go pro. She's like licking it and like trying to swallow it. It was like watching something from Animal Planet. It was like, you know, the ferrets in the cage.

I was like, what is happening in the back seat? And we're like, stop it. No quiet down. And like normally, you know me, normally I'm like, these kids need to be disciplined. I get on my whole, you know, like, I get on my whole soap box, even though I don't have children,

I don't know anything about it, but I'm like, they need to be disciplined. But I was honestly laughing so hard because they were being so ridiculous in a way that was hilariously unreasonable. Like, I'm hot! I was like, well, trying to air conditioning. I don't want the air conditioning. And normally be like you better take that air conditioning

But instead I was like these bitches and they're like the air conditioning like you know playing with those cameras I was like this is like Pure madness happening the back seat and I could not stop laughing the go-prosying was cracking me up And I didn't even go look online yet to see how much brand he's getting yelled at because she goes Thank God I have a nanny because if I had to drive these two little bitches and Bruin I'd kill myself That was like some season one brandy shit like I laughed I laughed I like her kids bitches was so funny and you know the internet's like fuck her I know internet is ruthless. Yeah, so

So then we go back But this is we go back to the painting and everything and Cameron's talking about her paintings Just this is kind of bust full, but I kind of like my painting the best And then Leanne's like uh-oh So much like an adump Louis taking a dump camera and he's not hard It's juicy. Yeah real juicy and then they show this like juicy shit right next to the cellists It's like the Titanic they just keep playing his subs going down

They're like I have to keep playing otherwise To keep myself from remembering that I have to keep playing, otherwise, to keep myself from remembering that I went to Juilliard, and here I am now, playing this next to a pile of dogs, shit, in Dallas. And Hilton goes over to Cruz, and she goes, why don't you forget about Zuri and paint on your own? Zuri?

He goes, I have to tell her. I have to tell her. I was like, the drama going on with these children is so next level. Leigh Ann, of course. Are these dog biscuits over here? You damn it, I had a dog biscuit. Now, have a question. Are we supposed to be drinking champagne out of this bowl here or is this the bowl for the dogs? Okay, I may have just had some champagne out the dog bow okay now I just peeped over by that cellist that's why I was supposed to be with real juicy so Stephanie and Brandy are talking and Stephanie's trying to be positive because Brandy you know does not take anything well really and so Stephanie's

like trying to make it sound fun like hip-hop class with her kid she's like wow you'll never believe this we am like invited me to lunch and I thought like gosh who would have thought like a year ago who would have thought this would happen you just see Brandy like just gritting or cheating like yes, I'm so happy for you. Excuse me. I'm just going to go go drop the kids off by the cellist. Excuse me one second. Unlike some people, I'm not going to tell her who to be friends with. I'll let her figure it out on her own. And so Leanne's just alone watching every rock. Yes, just staring. Leanne's even that death stare, specifically

to Carrie and Deandra Chattam, she's like, mm-hmm. So she goes up to Carrie, she's like, can I pull you aside? And Karen's like, how great. This sounds awesome. I would love to. Good, because I want to chop off your ear

or make your artwork more valuable. Are you trying to draw two dogs or are you just that cross-eyed? So she's like, I don't know how y'all do it with this baby making. This is ridiculous and carries like, yeah, it's a lot of stimulation. She's like, okay, yeah, it's a lot of stimulation. She's okay, great good baby talk now Since you said you'd be honest about everything and you'd tattletail on anybody who said anything Has anybody said anything to me because you said you were gonna tattletail nobody said nothing to me Yeah, and she's and cares like well, she says well you said that didn't want to say anything about me because you said you said you don't and so

Care is like well, I don't know about that meaning that like I'm sorry because Liam is like no one said Anything about me right and cares like um well, I don't know about that and she's like you know I'm not trying to be a gossip you know So I'm not gonna immediately run until someone but they asked me I'll I'll gossip to them. Yeah So I'll be a pass of gossip's the breakdown step needs such a nice Cam hasn't said any man goes like she's like lands like smiling like yes Steph's at your nice calm basically can barely talk like I don't know what the fuck she's saying like is she even alive or is she just like a stick with pink on it Okay, like

Brandy said that you're in cam's ear a bit Well just because like her behaviors off towards me damper. I mean, I don't know. I don't know like seriously I don't know I don't want to get the metal and She's like well no brand. He always blames me and You know what I said like maybe that's okay. Yeah, it's okay. I agree. Like, actually, I agree. It's so weird. It's like this fight. It's like not fight fight.

They're talking like they're fighting, but they're not fighting. Yeah. Exactly. And then there's this moment where Kerry goes, I just want to give you credit. And I think I deserve a little credit too. And I was like, what?

I don't understand. I don't follow. I think she's saying she wants to give Leanne credit for trying to like talk it out instead of screaming at people and Leanne to give her credit for talking to Leanne instead of making it a big. I mean, I don't know. I'm just projecting, you know, I don't know what it meant to you there. And so it's like, okay, credit. But then she tells us she is, so wait, you want credit for being a good friend to me by betraying brandy even if they really should have an Olympic for throwing each other under the bus.

I mean, well, you just threw carry under the bus because you asked her to basically betray Brandy and she did it for you. And now you're throwing her under the bus for throwing brandy under the bus. A lot of buses getting thrown under. So then Leon goes and punches a hole through Brandy canvas and then Randy is gonna leave and of course Brooklyn's like can we come back Yeah, damn kids because of course classic kids classic kids also big twist Brandy's kids are very talented. I was like wow look at that. They're actually like mom

We found a purpose in life. She's like no not, not gonna happen. Now, here's some crayons. Go back in that box, I can't get you. You're making more brownies. Yeah. So then, I don't know if you noticed this that when Kerry was leaving, she gave a very long hug to the blueprint guy. It was a very long.

I didn't notice that. We had a little pat on the back from both of them. I was like, okay, they're banging after this. Yeah, I did get that impression as well So then Lee's Leanne's like oh, it's so quiet. This is the level of noise at my house Those kids it's like birth control on steroids not not I'm gonna pop one out. I mean I'm 50 Camera's like you never know It could be a miracle

You never know It'd be a maricle. No, that wouldn't be a miracle for me. That could be a miracle. It won't be a miracle for me I said it could be a can you a more a cool? Okay, and all this amazing artwork. I hope we find some good distributors for this artwork So dandra is like this is So dandra is like this is Tanyu is okay. It's like for strangers. I'm feeling sad like I've lost a friend Well fucking call her back for Christ sake you two Yeah, I mean this all switched in Denver and like I mean truly the I mean she was mad at Liam But they that's what that's what their relationship was about the yelling about the wedding But it really was in Denver or in Colorado, in Beaver Creek, where Deandra suddenly started

gravitating towards Brandy. So honestly, you can complain about you feel like you've lost a friend, but you're the one who's more kind of turned away from Leanne. I got that impression. Because she has since the beginning of the season, we're sick. You need to get your shit together.

So then the very next scene is them having lunch the next day. And Sandra is like, we get that you're depressed, I guess, but you don't have to wear a depression hat. Yeah, you don't have to wear something like a close half of the 20s. She's like, look at me. I'm Zelda. Zelda Fitzgerald. I am waiting in the cheese line. So Leon, I'm wearing a close hat and some fuchsia tassels and you will. I am waiting in the cheese line. So Leon, I'm wearing a clothes hat and some fuchsia tassels and you will know I am depressed.

Ripped off the the Andrews of wrath. So she's like the day after the party. Guess you called praise being in Jesus is dandruff. So they sit down. So I heard you were having a meeting with your mom had that guy sick. Well, I have to be medic because the paper, the paper work in the time. So I believe like I, when I see it, just like your marriage. Okay. Yeah. Um, and also by the way, Deandra is like, she says that she hopes Leanne is going to repair her friend, the friendship, like she says, I'm just hoping that like when

Leanne shows up that she is going to want to make, want to, she's going to try to repair our friendship. I'm like, yeah yeah, Leon should repair because what she's, you know, she shouldn't have gossiped about like your bank account, but like it's not just Leon. Like you are like, you're harping on her about the stupid wedding. Like who cares is not of your business. Like them have their relationship. Yeah. So they start talking about this relationship. And Leon's like's like you to rip me to strands. And Andrew's like, well, maybe there's some things you can explain.

When I talk to you about things, and you tell me what's good, nothing you're upset about, and then you don't say you're upset about anything. And I know you're upset about something. So why don't you just be honest with me, please? And Liam's like, will then ask the right questions. But it's very, very camera and in her art major. So, Andrew is like, okay, so when are you getting him gay marriage? It's gonna be this year, it's gonna be this year,

2020, 2025, 2030, 2035, 2040, I can keep going. It goes forever, honestly. Well, when are we talking about? And then it's like, well, I think it's gonna be September, spring summer. I think that's when it's gonna be September, spring summer. I think that's when it's gonna be September spring summer. We're gonna call it a jogger wedding. And Dan is like, oh well, America ran continues. What's the truth? Is it November or the spring? They are two months apart. That is a big difference. God forbid you're thinking about two different venues and one is available in November and what is available in April. Got it for a bit. Yeah, so then we get down to the beat of the issue. She's like, I know you're worried because Rich has been married before. Do you

feel like his son Mayor to you? And she's like, Will, I mean he's left before. I don't know. He's like, well, is that a fear you have? Yes. Well, do you think he's faithful? Ding, ding, ding. That's all the Andra has wanted to say this whole time. Is this conversation? And thank you. We've called it from the beginning. She's basically wanting to bring up affairs. Yeah, exactly. She's just wanting to work in a way to get to this. And yeah. And so Lian's like, who's faithful? I mean, he's at her mode. I'm going to go out. I mean, if anyone would think anyone's unfa- me, I mean, I'm the one who's playful. I mean, he's a hermelt. I'm going to go out. I mean, if anyone would think anyone's on me, I mean, I'm the one who's going out. I mean, whatever. And then that's when,

I wanted to say Jacqueline. I don't know why. DeAndro is like, you know, it's like, see, my last has been, well, the last guy was with, you know, we always say I bring him get married, but we always had separate lives. So we didn't do that. We had separate lives and we never got married and everything.

So basically, like, why are you me and my old relationship? Why are you me and why? I was like, relax. Yeah, relax. I knew he cheated on me, but I let it happen. I'm like, okay, so now you're mad about your own relationship Yeah, and so she's saying you guys have separate lives. Well, Leanne's always out every night with gays or like, you know Bravo parties or whatever the hell she does Like all you need to do is look at Instagram to see that that's true But her argument is like well, why would I drag him along if he doesn't want to go?

Who cares? He's just sitting at home. Yeah. And Dander's like, well, Jeremy told me that he all spent time at different places at night. And she's like, well, he stays at home. I'm not going to drag him. She goes, well, she's like, well, there are rumors

about him being with other women. She's like, uh, Leanne does not strangle her. She does not cry for her by the turkey that could twist, but I was surprised. Yeah, but she was mad because she was like, she was like, well, I can't believe that Deandra would make this accused of working in flammable

to her comment and guess what? I will go to her eyes out next time we paint dogs. That's for sure But I think something's happening Nothing's happening. Yes, there is no there's not so then it's like tension tension Tundun tundun next week for China Lacering. Oh Yeah, well, you know certain things never go away either way. I was cracking up during this episode It was so funny. I love Dallas. I hope people are

We're on the fence about watching Dallas or who only like listen to our podcast, but don't watch Dallas I hope they reconsider because it's so good. It's so entertaining and and I don't know what gives it give it gives it It's special Quality because it's not like so much happened this episode, but sometimes when a cast has a chemistry and the cast and you feel like they are giving themselves over to production and not trying to control their own personas too much, you get great TV even when nothing happens.

Yeah. I mean, a Cameron party and a mama the episode. I mean, so good, so so good so go get your tickets We'll be doing this real house was Dallas next Thursday in New York City followed by real house was of New York on Friday And then November in Seattle December in Nashville and January the Crabby Awards get your tickets this Friday also go get your headbatch t-shirts over at WatchWitCrabbons.com as well as your ticket links. Okay everybody? Yeah we'll talk to you Mannyanna. Bye! Bye! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short

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