Watch What Crappens - RHOD: Vandal in the Wind

Episode Date: April 29, 2021

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo)* Real Housewives ends its season by vandalizing a Texas landmark and Brandi does us all a favor and throws herself down the stairs. This week's bonus is Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We're doing a live show to celebrate the premiere of RHONY! May 6 at 6PM Pacific 9PM Eastern. Get tickets at https://onlocationlive/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people are running around, they can't just walk. I think it's worth it so much that it happens. Well, hello. And welcome to Watch What Crackers. A podcast for all that crap we just left talking about on Yo Bros.

I'm Ronnie. Guess who's here with me. His name is Ben. Ben, come on out, Ben. Ben, come out. Hi. There he is. Sure I am.

Sure I am. Hi, Ben he is. Here I am. Here I am. Hi, man. Just here on the feed. Just hanging out with you, Ronnie. Sure. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. This is a Crappens on Demand episode.

So, confine this over here on the Internet, on Patreon. Go to Crappens on Demand level for that. Also, we moved below Dexaling to bonus this week Okay, we wanted to be fair to real housewives of it the analysts so who knows how it's gonna end up? Okay, just on page down. Okay. Yeah, also We're doing our live show and to celebrate the real housewives of New York premiere Which we are covering on May 6th here on L. Interneto you can get tickets at on location live slash what slash slash watch it crap there or just find that link over on our website watch at crappens.com okay so to celebrate that

we're doing a 10-part countdown of the most underrated housewives ever we have different picks so every day you can go vote for who you know choose who's the winner between me and Ben over on Instagram. It'll be in our Instagram story. So go vote every day. Your vote counts. Okay. Yeah. It does.

So yesterday we revealed our number 10 position. So for me, my number 10 most underrated housewife or real Roni player Cindy bar shop number 10, which means that there's more people who are more underrated than she is And Ronnie chose Alex McCord which I think is an excellent choice. So now We're moving on to my number nine. Okay. My number nine was Cindy Cindy bar shop because Listen, you know, we just had like a maybe a little confusion not confusion'm not confusion, but we put her both, we put her at the bottom, everybody. Don't freak out. I mean, you guys really still hate Cindy Bar shop. I have to say really, I'm a shot.

You know, where is forgiveness? Where is the forgiveness? What does she even do? I mean, she wrote a call over her ass. She survived Morocco. One of the most vicious trips in the history of Rony. She survived it. But people were, I think people were,

people thought that we were suggesting that Cindy was more underrated than Alex. But actually, it's actually the inverse that she's actually less underrated. It doesn't matter. The point is this, she was my 10, she's your nine, she's at the bottom of the pile, basically for us. Right, so I chose Cindy Barchop,

and then the more I thought about it, now I'm even standing by it even more. I mean, she is towards the bottom of my list, so let's not act like I'm super rob, rob, rob, rob, robing her. But I do miss Cindy's, she doesn't give a fuck about anything and thinks everything's crazy. I think especially right now in life, that is the attitude we should we should all have. Oh, we should all calm down a little bit and realize it's all stupid.

And we're going to be dead soon. Okay. And she had a thankful job. Yeah. And you know what? The woman really took a fupa and tried to make something decent out of it. And as someone who is tortured by my own fupa, you know what? Someone doing a little Fupa makeover

has my vote to at least be on a damn list. Over Alex McCord. So over Alex McCord. Okay. Well, my number nine is actually not, she's not a full-fledged real housewife. It's gonna be another hot take from me. I think the number nine most underrated

real house of New York player is Elise, Elise Slane, who managed to do nothing and yet everything for all of the last season. This is my name Slone or Slane. Just Slone or Slane. We don't even know. We don't even know. We don't. We don't know.

But Elise just vacantly floated through that season. And she did so little, like less than almost any friend of we've ever seen. And yet it was in her vacancy, the vacancy in her eyes and her presence that I found so much comedy. I thought she was the funniest thing ever. The fact that she thought she was like lighting the show on fire with like, so my name is Elise, but I have an alter ego called Erica. And this is Erica.

What is it with people named Erica who don't know how to nail an alter ego on brothel? Cause other Erica the same damn way. It's like, I'm Erica Jane and I'm Erica Gerardi. It's like you're both the same stupid. You both say you were on the same pole. That's not pretty. So I know there could be a lot of people who would be like, at least was lame. She was stupid.

What? Yes. The answer is yes. Correct. You got it exactly right. But for me, she was hilarious in her eliceness. And she provided for me a strain of entertainment that I wasn't expecting last season? So at least is my number nine.

Okay, everybody, so to vote between those two options to solidify the number nine spot, go over to Instagram where it watch what happens, okay? And find out the results on our Real Housewives of New York live show on location live, you know where to get tickets because we already told you, okay? I'm not gonna shut that down your face again. Okay, so welcome to the Real Housewives of New York live show on location live, you know where to get tickets, because we already told you, okay, I'm not gonna shut that down your face again.

Okay, so welcome to the Real Housewives of Dallas season finale recap. You know, this season has really polarized a lot of people and by polarized, I mean, some y'all sleep in, some y'all just still eating on the couch. No one's really thrilled about it, but no one's furious about it, which I think is a bad sign for a housewife show.

Now, I laughed because I got my, my dealers lovers, Mama D and Deandra, fighting over who left a will on the bed, and you know, calling your 80 year old mom a stupid bitch in the fuck you, like, take me back to my teenage years. So there was a lot in it for me to love this year. And this whole stealing from your, stealing from from your step family and then pretending that you just

all you really want to do is go to lunch all these years later. I mean, I was enthralled. What can I say? I liked it. I liked the early season fights about the chicken feet, you know, camera not eating a chicken foot. And like I enjoyed Tiffany's clunky attempts at you know, winning over the girls by putting crickets in their pizza and then brandy over reacting. I actually thought it was a really good season. And you know, again, we have to also remember this was a season that was shot during COVID. And that's I think it's hard to create some narrative fabric in that.

But I know a lot of people thought this season was boring, but like you, Ronnie, I laughed through a good chunk of it, and I really looked forward to watching the episodes. There was like one or two dull ones as they kind of tried to stretch the season out, which happened. Like this one, like this, like this season finale. Um, no, well, yes and no. Um, I found myself getting enraged, and so if I'm ever getting enraged, then it means

it's a good episode. Like I was seeing. Oh, yeah, you got enraged. And so if I'm ever getting enraged, then it means it's a good episode. Like I was seeing. Yeah, you got enraged because she was in this behavior. I was enraged that the cultural institution known as South Fork was defiled by cultural institution last year. Last week you were saying it was ugly as hell.

Well, you know what? The institutions can be ugly too. Okay, they can be ugly as well. You know, this is a landmark as we learned, a landmark in Texas and needed to be respected. Okay, I'll be with that. I thought it was really rude too. I wasn't really arranged. I was mostly just like, this is it.

I need more. Okay, well, we'll get to it guys. But you know it's like we know that's a been thing right like you know like when you saw this it weren't you thinking to yourself I need more but I know that Ben is like furious right now. Yeah you're a big man or is person you know and I'm not I'm not you know I don't mind the the plexiglass yes I mind it I obviously it was tack as hell. I just don't like it's not that I mind a rude person. I just would prefer more fun with my rude like just like farting with your armpits isn't funny. Oh, yeah, like there has to be some with tear. You know, like I love a rebel, but I don't just like some jackass parking in two spots just because they fucking can and you

know she does that. But I don't just like some jackass parking in two spots just because they fucking can and you know she does that. Well, I think what's annoying with Carrie is that she reminds me of those people that go onto American Idol and say, I'm rock and roll. Cause I have long hair and then they just sing show tunes, constantly Morales, right? Like that's what drives me nuts. Well, like Adam Lampp. Yeah. Oh, or one thing when you get older too, it's like all those friends who are like, Oh, yeah, hang out with me. I'll do fucking anything

Like they're dead now, okay, they're dead or they're just like complete Basically, they were alcoholics It's cute, but then you know you you have to go to some meetings or whatever. So it's like less cute. I guess when you're 50 Yeah, well, it's just not cute at honestly any age because Carrie, you know, Carrie is the sort of person that you go to Cabo Cantina on Sunset Boulevard and you're just trying to enjoy that two for one happy hour that goes for four hours with your friends. And the next you know, she's up standing

on like she's dancing on top of a table to journey thinking it's the most original thing in the world to be belting out don't stop believing. And she's getting the lyrics wrong and she knocks over Your your drinks and when you say excuse me she says oh, who cares? It's fun like light enough. I was like no you knocked over my drink while Sicking very unoriginal karaoke that no one during a non karaoke experience carry you know she's not and she always has a horrible karaoke person at Cabo Cantina. I really, I have to say, I think you nailed this one. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. I mean, you get it right often, but this one is like nailed. That was, that's, it was too real. It was too real, which is why I have had such a visceral reaction, because I've, I've, I've been around her. I've seen her, you know, I mean, girl, I've been her, you know, I've been her. I was her. Um, and they've also, you know, I've all, you know, I've all, you know, I mean, I've been her, you know, I've been her. I was her. Um, and they've also, you know, I've also been, uh, you know, gotten over and then been her again. I see all sides of it. I just think, you know, a boil sand to carry is just a fucking asshole. Okay,

that's, that's, I'm gonna boil it down to just that. Um, but we'll have plenty of time to get on with that. Let's get started. Okay. Brandy has just thrown herself down the stairs. Listen, that's all I needed from the season. I mean, we want to talk about closer. I've been waiting for this for years. Brandy, next time you release a problematic video, you don't have to go into

counseling, just throw yourself down to stairs. You showed us that you can do it and survive and be okay. Like that was actually a surprisingly, like Stephanie said, that was a surprisingly strong, like self-toss down to stairs, especially for someone who is pregnant. Yeah, we find out she's pregnant. And you know, it was basically like watching

my pre-birth on TV, because my mom is a ginger. Okay. My mom was a little prey. I don't doubt that my mom went down some stairs a couple of times. My mom was my mom drank pretty heavily and brags about it. You know, she's like, we could do that back then. You know, so she was totally proud of that. The only thing missing really is the pack of Benson and Hedges, my thoughts. That's really all this missing. I mean, wow, the thing is that that brand people are people are saying online like no, she knew she was pregnant. I don't think she knew she was pregnant. You know, she threw herself down some stairs. She's been drinking pretty hard. This is a wild time to be pregnant to be on real house as a Dallas. That's for sure. Also, Ronnie, have we ever really bonded over the fact that both

of our moms are gingers? Yeah. Oh, okay, cool. Just want to make sure. You were you were born with the what we call in the wild calm juncture. Okay, we're very different. I have the fiery red head ginger mom. Yeah. You have like the look at me. I'm just like an Irish fairy waif. Ginger. But, but Jewish with Eastern European roots.

Instead. Thank you. Okay. So Brandi has thrown herself down a staircase. Another great pregnant moment for Brandi, you know I hope they put this together for the kids graduation like let's let's watch the the months before you were born There's your mom doing a keg stand There she has thrown herself down some stairs

Would you like to eat some tuna fish while we're here, ma'am? I know, she's like, where's the sushi? So Cameron, her character is a doctor, so she runs up. And he goes, I diagnosed her as dead. And then we see like a slow mo, a brandy pulling down those stairs, which again, very impressive. Yeah. And Stephanie's like, um, that fall. Huh. It was really impressive. Like, I mean, she really knows how to do that as a Dallas cheerleader.

Huh? The tuck and roll. Is that a thing that happens at the Cowboys games? Just cheerleaders just rolling down the stairs at the stadium like, I know it's half time. So clear the aisles. Here come the cheerleaders rolling down onto that star in the center of the hill who will survive

and Brandy's like wow I feel like I really have the easy part I mean there's a lot going on there's so many guilty people but I'm just gonna lay here have burn. I'm hurting in my neck, but I'm committed. I also have a strange sickness in the morning. I don't know what that's about. A little bit of cramps. I didn't know that comes with playing dead. Yeah. So, uh, uh, Cameron's, so basically, first of all, let's applaud this cast for being the first cast to actually take a murder mystery seriously. You know, like New York did a pretty good job until Dorena just canceled the whole thing.

I did it. I was jealous of his money. Can we eat? I was like, you planned this murder mystery during that? We watched like 30 minutes of everyone getting into character learning about their characters and they're like, okay, and now the mystery But no this one they They like committed they investigated they broke out into teams. They looked up things they looked at clues. They were they were involved in Camera's walking around going oh my god. I have prescriptions You know what I think you need a collar, dude. Oh God, Cameron. Um, and then, uh, Dan just like, hey, prescribed the cradley is.

Dan just that girl who's just like way too into it. Yeah, and then carry, uh, she was really into it, by the way. And so then carry goes up to Brandi his dad and she's like Who killed you? And Brandi of course it's can't make a season without it Brandi goes I have to fart And she does it like right as the murder of Mr. Guy walks in and he's like, uh, well, that's just something the body does from now and then. So there's more clueless bodies, do the gases leave.

And Carrie just like kind of gives him a look like, why are you talking to me? Carrie is rude to every single employee. There's not been one employee that carries like, hi, thank you very much. Everything's great. You never want to say, we know she has got this. Stupid, stupid, tiny PPL over here. You think this is funny?

Someone's dead. You think that's funny? Oh, big man with little PPL. That's what I say. It's like, Gary, this isn't a real murder mystery. So, there are all Jen finds fingerprints. Jen makes an impact on the finale. She found fingerprints.

And, by the way, Jen is a good example of someone who does very little but doesn't have the impact of Elise. Right? She's like barely there. But I think because she's trying to have an impact in a way that Elise is, where Elise is just like, if Elise were at this murder mystery. Oh, Elise tried. Elise tried. I did try. I really did not really try. She's just like trying to be nice to everybody and she's just trying to be like that fun non-offensive one for her for a season

and you know like you could argue that she couldn't make an impression because she was edited out and that would be she shouldn't be able to be edited out like if you're really doing a good job they should be like oh we can't edit her out. All the arguments started with Jen, this year, you know? Jen dropped a bank, you know? Jen fucked the pool boy and the gardener. Like Jen did a lot of shit. Jen fucked the address step brother.

Okay. Jen put the will on the address bed. You know, like I mean more of that. Did all that. There's something, yeah. Well, she did start the fight with momedy actually or brandy, that whole thing. She asked like some question that caused all that.

Either way, so they're just like looking at clues and Tiffany is saying how she's like a natural investigator because she's a doctor and this is kind of like what she does and she's going through all the suspects and she's like, well, I don't think I can be caring because she's like not drunk enough yet and I don't think it's definitely your Cameron because it would require too much planning for them. And, you know, I think it's probably just the Andro because she's the most in character and her mother probably has killed like six people already. So I think

it probably runs the family. And then whoever's writing this party, she started talking like, that she's like, hey, I'm the cop here. Here's what we're going to do for this murder mystery. And now she's like, all right, everybody. Now we shall find out who the murder mystery is ends with who is the killer? She should just do recaps of watch of below deck for us because that's basically what happens with all our accents. We're like, hello, I'm on blow deck and I'll have no Australian accent. And then by the end, we're like, we want to blow these for some reason by the end of the hour.

Yeah. You don't want to be as good as we are. That's not a compliment. Okay, lady. So Deandra, when they're like all sitting and talking about the suspect, then Deandra like grabs a gun. And then she has this fake gun, but it gets like a little real because she's like, okay, everyone sit down. Everyone down.

Everyone down. Okay. I don't know. I was like, I feel like she's actually done this before. I think this is something that happened to her during one of her co-pinses. Like she's robbed a bank, hasn't she? There's a reason Sandra Bullock won't call them back anymore. So she runs around just shooting everybody. She's like just killing all the employees and stuff. And I think Carrie's like, oh my God, there are dead people in the pool.

I suppose it's my fault. And Stephanie goes just lying on the floor dead. Yeah. And like literally Deandra is just going on a shooting spray. And Stephanie's just like crouch down She's you're going to hell Which I really enjoy it. I like just like that that judgey damn nation have fun with your massive murder You're going to hell buddy. I know so then they all wind up outside and they're like Deandra still sort of in character

I don't even remember what she's saying, but she's standing by the pool. And uh-oh, she's by the pool and carries nearby. So I guess what happens. Oh, hilarious. Oh my God, hilarious. So she pushes Deandra right into the pool and then Deandra's like, carry, really?

My belt, my shoes, mother, mother, friend. Why would you do that to me? But I didn't need to talk to the mother! So, knock knock, it's later in the night now. And it's a producer cam because... Yeah. ...carrying and brandy, like wacky and drunk together in the middle of the night, waking everybody up.

Okay, these two were the worst. Please fire those people. Okay? The terrible people. Even before they've analyzed anything, this is all you get from me. Everybody up. Okay, these two were the worst. Please fire these people. Okay, terrible people. Even before they've analyzed anything, this is all you get from me. You fucking knock on my door. Listen, I'll get, I got mad at an abler last week that came too early in the day and that

girl was kidnapped. Okay, don't fuck with me while I'm sleeping. You will die. Yeah, yeah. I was, I agree with you. I was actively angry. I was angry. They were like, keep me up, Tiffany. I was like, this is, this woman's a doctor I was actively angry. I was angry. They were like keeping up Tiffany.

I was like, this is, this woman's a doctor who does not get a lot of sleep. Let her, let her sleep for crying out loud. Um, I was an anesthesiologist. I mean, she should have something in her bag, you know? What's the point of being an anesthesiologist if you don't have a couple of shots for yourself in there? Well, I mean, it's like, isn't that just like such a great Sundance movie? The Odyssey's theologist who can't put everyone to sleep but herself. I mean, he's again, I'll just within some, yeah, he didn't get Sundance. Okay, I'll set up that viewing party for you. Love that. Or everyone's going to sit on Boom Chairs and a Wingstop.

All right, we're going to show that film. Everyone's gonna sit on Boom Chairs and a Wingstop. All right, we're gonna show that film. It actually sounds a little bit more like an NBC procedural. It's like there was a procedural a few years ago about like a cardiologist and the billboard for it was a woman holding up a heart. And I think the show is called Heartless or something. It's like, of course, NBC. You have a show about a cardi is called Heartless or something. Of course, NBC.

You have a show about a cardiologist called Heartless. I was like, it's just it's so NBC. So probably it'd be like, if it's about an anesthesiologist who has insomnia, it's probably like sleepless. I guess. I don't know. Sleep no more. So they're basically waking everybody up and trying to get them to have fun, but

no one's amused really. And they don't stop, you know, like they just jump on them in the bed and carries like Humphing Tiffany and um, Stephanie's like, yeah, I mean, those drunkards basically came in and they were talking about how much carries toots don't sting. I mean, that was good. The farts. I love that. Can you say that thing again by the farts? It's so funny. Can you say that again? Oh my god. I love you so much. I love you too. I love your farts. I love you so much. You are your farts. I wish I could make this fart into a ring so I could put it on you and show you how much I love you so much. I love you too. I love your first. I love you so much. You are your first. I wish I could make this fart into a ring. So I could put it on you and.R. Murder room. Ooh.

Funnily enough, he was played by a man named Larry Hag. Man. So have fun with that, Carrie. Yeah. But J.R. predicted this years and years ago. Yeah. So they're drunk and being crazy. So Brandy, there's a placey glass barrier aroundlass barrier around JR's room, which admittedly is funny

because again, this is not King Tut's tomb. This is like just a bedroom. It's not like a cashier check express that we actually need Plexiglass there. Well, but then again, we do because you see why. It's people like this who ruin everything. It's people like this that Plexig It's people like this that this is a reason Plexiglass even exists. It shouldn't even exist.

We shouldn't need it. We shouldn't need it. But like even if it's not King Tutts Tum, someone decided to go to Ross and get some bedding and put it on a bed. And they did that. They took the time. They said, we don't want people touching it.

And we are just gonna put a Plexiglass to just really assert that. And so Brandy squeezes through the Plexiglass to get to the shit. I know that's great for the baby by the way. I mean they show her. It's like this wide and Brandy is just squeezing it. It's just squeezing on her stomach and she's like pulling herself to it. Like that poor kid

You know we've seen like Kids on Bravo with the helmet this kid is gonna eat one, okay? Oh my god reminds me of that SNL skit from years ago with Victoria Jackson Just doing terrible things through her. She's pregnant and she's like she's like micro She had her belly in the microwave. she's reaching for something and everything. It's basically happening in real life now. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial.

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music or Wondery app. So she sneaks in because she wants to sit on JR's bed. I guess allegedly because she wants to sleep there that night. And then Karen's like, how are they coming to? So she, but Carrie can't get through the Plexiglas, so she's gonna try to climb over, which is just inherently a bad idea. Okay, nothing good comes from climbing over Plexiglas. Okay. Now, I know it's not the same thing, but it did remind me of the scene in Jurassic Park where that little kid was climbing up the wire. The movie reaffected you. It's impacting me in so many ways. I'm like, movie carries your fucking life.

Wow. Care you are a child on live wires right now and you should know better. So she gets on this little rocking horse saying and climbs over it. Which already, already, who uses a rocking horse for stability? Yeah

Literally in the name. Yeah, it's in the day. I'm gonna like that go because I know I'll be a hypocrite if I say Like did you hang up a picture by standing on a rocking horse Ronnie? I'm just I'm just not very bright. I mean the way I climb on the things is I'm like a big ape You know, and like I'll pull out a drawer to step on the drawer. Like I pretend like I'm Donkey Kong in a video game. I have like my kitchen ape mixer thing in my apartment up on top of the water heater and it's so heavy I can never get it. So I pulled out like a drawer to stand on the drawer and I open a cabinet so I could step on one of the cabinet and I'm like wobbling up there and the cabinet's breaking under my foot But I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna keep going because I'm this far which wasn't for at all It was like a foot off the ground and

Get my leg up and on the counter right as the drawer breaks and all my utensils go flying everywhere And I finally get up there I'm standing on the counter and I'm about to hold it I'm like, well how the fuck am I gonna get down now? I'm standing on the counter and I'm about to hold it. I'm like, well, how the fuck am I going to get down now? I just broke everything. There's shit all over my kitchen. There's knives, ladles, everything all over the place. So yeah, I can't judge on this one. What what's going on with that drawer? Did you fix it? It's gone. It's gone, which is why you should buy cheap things. Okay. I'm going to send you a step stool. It's a game changer. First, in that attack you're designed to be doing the thing.

I actually have a step stool. It's just far, then you have to unfold it, and then, if you just leave it there, then it's in the way of the sink. You have to fold it back up and take it back. I know, a little scary going up there. It feels like you're boarding an airplane that doesn't exist.

And I'm like, oh, above the weight limit for everything, I'm not being hateful to myself. I literally am. And so like the stepstool's like and knives. You're like, I own the step stool. That apartment is rented. Oh, oh, it was, oh, okay, I thought it was. I know how my apartment in LA, you can see it in the background of our videos. It's like there's shit stacked to the ceiling because it's like a tiny little place, right? And the kitchen aid is all the way on the ceiling, you know, above the water heater. So to get to ceiling, because it's like a tiny little place, right? And the kitchen eight is all the way on the ceiling,

you know, above the water heater. So to get to it, I have to like climb all this shit. Yeah, that changes the context a little bit. That changes the context. Here I have a brother, a mod, I don't need a step stool. I have to say, hey, could you do that? You know what I've got, you some Vita tequila if you'll get up there and do that.

Love that. He answered to say that when he tried Vita tequila if you'll get up there and do that love that He has to say that when he tried Vita tequila. He said oh my god. I love that. I was like perfect Yeah Well point is none of that that is none of that is the boy is that carry got onto a rocket or a rock Rock and worse and then she tried to climb over the Plexiglass, which wasn't gonna work because she's still, the Plexiglass still was coming up to her boobs. So she would've had to like, hurl herself up and over.

So it wasn't gonna work no matter what. But she like held onto it, and then she kind of like fell backwards, and then she pulled the Plexiglass with her and just collapsed into the, you know, JR's, Boudoir. Yeah. And Brandy's like, should we go find some tape and maybe try and fix the plexiglass? So then the next morning Cameron is calling court and she's like, oh my god, court! I caught some sleep in Lucy's room. Yeah. He's like, I don't know who that is. And then, um, Brandy is sitting making coffee in the in the kitchen.

And she notices there's a security camera up there. And she's just sort of the guilt. It's like the telltale plexiglass. As she hears it and she just knows that she's going to have to mess up. So she tells us, do you ever have one of those moments where you're like, this didn't really happen, but then it did happen.

I'm like, I- Oh, no, never. Why don't you tell us about one? Are you gonna tell us about your racist video or is it about the plexiglass? Cause apparently they're the same. So, no, the racist, this was, this got a bigger apology than the racist video.

I know. I really did. So Brandy is like, South pork is a historic, is a historic and it's a landmark and it just means so much to the fans and people are going to hate us because we fucked this up. And also you got a racist video. So then Tiffany and Cam are talking and Tiffany's like, oh my god, can you be on the bat?

Cam was like, can you imagine what I dealt with downstairs was curry and Tiffany's like, listen, all I know is that I was in my first stage of REM sleep and those bitches came in and they disrupted it. I've waited three seasons of my TV show to get to that REM sleep. It was the season finale and they woke me up. I could not believe it. And camera is like, yeah, they were banging on the door and Brandy ended up in J-Hars room girl.

Oh. And so then Brandy is, yeah, Brandy is with them now and she's telling them that like, she's like, yeah, I just, I squeezed through this lighting door and then Carrie put up a rocking horse and then like, she didn't have to jump over it. And so Stephanie's like, so, the Plexiglass, is it like broken broken? Does it need a lock for a makeover?

Yeah, I'm Brandy's like, and then she pulled up a chair and Carrie goes, no, you pulled up the chair and Brandy goes, ah, I was on the other side and she's like exactly you were put and then we see brandy putting the chair there So you know brandy's always the innocent one in these things well, but then also, but then also they say like brandy says The you know the plexiglass is broken and care goes it's correct. It's cracked cracked What part of an entire piece of plexiglass, like you felt, you almost reenacted the finale of ghosts over there. Okay, what are you talking about, cracked?

And Stephanie goes, you could go to jail. I mean, this is big. I mean, plexiglass jail. It was like I was so conflicted because on the one hand, I was so angry at carries disregard for the property and for space that was important for someone else. And on the other hand, I was laughing that they were treating it truly like this was the inter-sanctum of the Louvre.

It's like this is not Lou Pann. Lou Pann. I watched that. It was good. I watched that was good. Oh, you did good. So Brandy is like, if ever I wanted to go back in time, I wish it was now really now. I mean, girl, this is the thing that you want to go back and think. I've got five seasons of you.

And this is the part you're choosing to do. Let's go back to right before the poo Pat that's that's where we should set the time machine Okay, so Cameron's like Meanwhile, there's a place to sleep right there, and it was the chase lounge and Care's like, okay, you know what we should go downstairs and call that stupid lady who does work things and say you know I listen stupid lady. you have tiny pee pee. Lissy at work, come on! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha because mother didn't give me enough money to buy one, but those shoes were vintage Louis Vuitton! And the belt, well that was when Oscar was alive,

Oscar the Grach, you know, great, great muppet. And you know what, I only have two of them, okay, green furry belts. I only have two of them, never get another one, okay, that was $3,000 of stuff, mother. They were in Jay-R's room. Check, did they break something? I said, oh, well, here we are. Carry his sandwich, another place.

Okay, great, well, here we are. Carry his sandwich another place. Okay, great. Another place we visited this time is a historical landmark. And in the future, we're going to be asked to go in anywhere because that person acts like God damn idiot every time we're going somewhere. Now I'm not even sure if we're going to be invited to the Morgan Fairchild Museum.

What are we supposed to do for Falcon Crust? Next season. Not landing, more like not landing, but without the cake. Because it's a negative, because we're not invited anymore. Guess what? You're not landing, because you can't balance on the goddamn horsey horse. Ty! More like Twin Peaks, as in we already peaked,

and we're not allowed to go and ask out who killed more Palmer. Dandra this whole episode has that slightly like her eyes are like a little. You know how Deandre has that like slightly close eyes like her eye kind of closes and then her eyes are really bright and then she's putting on eyeliner under her eyes. She just looks evil and she's yelling everything, even in the dire room. She's like, wait, let me tell you what Gary did. Okay, calm down.

It's just you in a room. Okay. Well, that's why it was so funny seeing her with that gun during the murder mystery, because it occurred to me that almost everything Deandra says is like the unhinged confessions of the murderer on murder she wrote, right? Because it's always like, you know, when they always,

when they always courted him, the murder, they always pull out a gun. They're like, I'll tell you why I did this. Yeah. I did this because everywhere we go, she destroys something. Every single month, we're gonna have to have every single landmark in the state of Texas. So I had to kill her. I had to.

It really is that. It's like, and then we found a tiny key. I'll find, I'll tell you what. You found that key because it was a goddamn trunk key from our trunk show. And that bitch, I'm so sick of it. It's time we get into the car. Ha ha ha ha. Nothing about me.

Then we get in there all she does is bitch and nagging me about how much makeup I'm leaving on the bathroom canner. Well, I am done with it. Done with it. It's like, whoa. Fine, I did it. I killed her. And I'll tell you why. She poured salsa on the sheets. Do you know that she's someone she's at as a home? Okay? So I'll maybe kill her, but at least I respect. Someone's home. Take me away.

So downstairs, Brandy is calling Janna, who is the head of this party event place, the South Fork Ranch. So she's like, hi, Jana. I was like, here we go. Here's Randy. He ran into something wrong, queue up the fake tears. And she even uses it with a lady that she's renting an event space from. I know. I wasn't sure if she was going to go, from a moment I thought she was going to go to the path of like super sweet little girl humility with like giggles like nervous giggles like I'm so sorry but isn't this funny. I was like she surely is not gonna do full on you know baby tears on this one but I really underestimated her. She did it. Janne has Texas lady attitude and you don't mess with her. Like you can just tell with Janet how she talks, right? Because she's like, Hi, Janet good morning.

Hi, she's like, Hi, Brandy, how are you? Which is basically Janice where you're saying, I already know what you did, bitch. So were you gonna try and blame a maid? Because I'm on to you, okay? I've been watching you, bitches, from my camera, from my television,

some of my house, okay? You ever hear of a Google Nest, you idiots? You saw the camera, I saw you look at it while you're making your coffee. Why do you think there was a ring, why do you think there was a ring in the bookshelves in your room, Brandy!

Brandy! I love that low-dangling in your bedroom. I was watching you, bitch. Listen, Brandy, I just want you got to have fun. And I already invoice the production company for twice the value of that Plexiglass. So don't you worry, we made a profile for your interest. God, but she really does have that terrifying voice. How are you?

Oh my God. So Brandy's like, wow, I've been better. I'm calling because you're going to be very disappointed at me, Jenna. I squeezed it on the channel. It's a room. Give me a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we cracked the black sea glass, but we're going to replace it. Just like Eduardo says he's going to replace me someday.

Oh, yeah, I went there. Why not? I'll say it. And Brandy's like, we're so sorry. We're so sorry. Notice there's there are zero tears. Okay. Brandy has been crying now for a solid three minutes. And there's no tears. So, Jan, it's just like, ladies, I just wanted you to have fun. So don't you worry about it. Thanks. Sounds like you're have fun. So don't you worry about it. Thanks. Sounds like you're having fun. You're so sweet. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you, Jenna. So much. Don't you worry about it. How forks should be called. Sounds fun. Okay. Don't you worry. Hey, Amelia. Did you write

up that invoice for Bravo TV? Okay. Yeah, you know the channel was like, you're more upset about it than I am, honey. Okay, you have a good one. That cop fitness, get her the fuck out of there immediately. Bet, get your shotgun and go down there right now, make sure nothing goes wrong for the rest of the day. Go get him, bet. Remember, bet, but that, I loved bet.

Oh, bet. So, yeah, so, Brandy is like, like, I just want her to be more mad at me. She was so sweet. So anyway, so Carrie is, but then Carrie tells, she carries like, everyone's acting like me and Brandy fucked up in old president's doing her something

and this is like, made up scene from a soap opera, which she does have, she does have a little bit of a point there. She does, but the point is this, regardless of its origins, it's still a museum and it's still something that someone made and curated and spent money on. So I don't care. Well listen, I think the outdoors are stupid.

I don't believe in the outdoors. I think it's a dumb idea. I don't appreciate it. I really hate parks, but I'm not just going to go set one on fire. Other people find them, you know, an important part of their daily life. Who am I to say? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'll just do some passive aggressive shit like take my animal there to shit all over it. Mm-hmm. That's right. That's what you do. That's something that you should have animal shit on JR's bed. Yes. So Randy's like, oh my God, we've analyzed historical plays and

carries like, you're not. That's me. I'm the friend you can trouble. I get in trouble. I'll help you pay the body. That's not a good quality, by the way. You know, that's, you don't want to be that friend. All my toys are broken from my youth because of you, carry all of my toys. Also, that's not really what happened. You got in trouble. And then she got in trouble.

Okay. You're gonna help, you know, it's like she's gonna expect things for helping you bury the body that she murdered. She's the one in the bank ice that like the whole plan is like can be perfect. Everyone's like ready to do it, but they need, they need basically like Newman, as long as we're talking about Jurassic Park, they need Newman to like do the getaway car, so the hair comes carry and she just fucks up the entire house. You're like, and you know, when you're watching the movie, you know she's gonna fuck it up.

You know, like they would have gotten away with it, everything would have been fine, but then she goes and, you know, drives to the police. Oh, you said drive away from the police, not drive to the police. Oh, yeah, it doesn't on purpose. Like, ah, it's funny. They told me drive to the police. So I'm driving while I play police.

Ha! That's like, Harry, we're on the run from the law. You're ruining it. So Stephanie comes to Deandra in Cam's room and she, they're like locked door behind you. Lock it. And Cam, because yeah, that's like, lock the door behind you, lock it. And Camericus, yeah, that's how I was able to stay in her last mind.

I'm like, Camericus is still so traumatized by the salsa. Really so that she knows to lock her damn door now. If you thought the salsa was bad, what do we tell you about the plexiglass? I love the scandals on this show are about salsa and plexiglass. It love the scandals on this show or best also in plexiglass. It's so seriose to you right?

Probably ill, but like family alcoholism. Yeah, so Stephanie's like the plexiglass broken and you know what? Brandy is feeling really really bad about it. I don't care, Stephanie. Stop fucking sticking up for Brandy, okay? You're hurting your own brand. You're hurting your own brand for Brandy, okay? Yeah, and Steph is nervous that they just can't book a place because Carrie is so destructive, which I actually, I get that, I think it's frustrating,

but to be fair, the places that they've gone to have been like beaver lickers and that wine by wives place where they like made a wine and a vat behind a like a thermostat. So you know still but uh dandruff's like well you know what? Uh because Stephanie says they have to hold her accountable and dandruff's like okay well fine but I can't be the only one because I'm always asshole calling her out. I mean everyone needs to say something to me. I mean she throws a girl who can't swim into the pool. She's pushing shots on people. You know, she fought with me, which I know you're on my side now because no one's saying anything bad about it.

So I'm marking that down. You're on my side. And she's constant bullshit. It's constant bullshit. Mother. And she's like, why are you in the agononos, Dianne, trust me? I'm in the agonosos, Dianne. On the floor, getandra. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the fork. Get your mouths on the ground. So then, Deandra, I'm going to congratulate herself. This is hilarious.

She's like, you know, a few years ago, I would have been out of here. But now, because I see a shaman, you know what I do now? I'm going to take it out your step for my friend. I'm like, it was like five episodes ago when you nearly stormed out of Austin. When you talk about five years ago, you would have sliced her into out of here. You were ready to do it like a five seconds ago.

God, the girl burns a couple of M&Ms and she expects to get a cross to be crucified on, you know. So Cameron's like, yeah, I think it's time. I love that that's actually something that happened. She did burn some M&Ms. Yeah. She's got some Yeah, she literally started She literally I'm surprised

So cameras like yeah, it's time So them breakfast is being set up and there's a big sign that says let's get physical because we're gonna continue this 80s things so they've all got like 80s workout lead, you know, leotards and stuff like that. And then they're like sitting down for breakfast and Deandra, this camera just starts to eat and she's like, oh, you wanna pray, okay. Which is funny because I feel like Deandra does not. Have we ever seen her do greats before?

Is this suddenly like she's just trying to prove to Brandy that she's still Christian? So she's like, Mother, bring our husbands here safely. The husband that we actually do have, we have husband's right and give us a good day together. Bless this food and Jesus food. Amen. Or I'll fuck you up. You know that's how like her real parents. Jesus, please help carry to not break any Plexiglass or burn down this historical landmark tonight. And please be sure that we are all going to be safe from her rain of terror and salsa tonight. Thank you.

And I don't like how Cameron reacts. She goes, Oh, okay, I'll pray with you. And Stephanie got her first ever chicken and waffles. Did you hear her? She's like, she said she never had chicken waffles before. Well, yeah. So, um, that's just, I don't know what to say. I did notice it and I was like, wow. So, um, but all they, their food on this show, all they ever eat is a steak in a potato or hamburger. That's like all the half. Or if you're camera and you'll get some pesquettey too. Okay. Or Mexican food.

We love Mexican food so much. We just kept going back to Mexico. My daughter is learning spomach. So, poquito, masamecero, upon flouta face. Okay. La bibliografa, es un taco. Mesa, si,etas un manil. Okay.

So Tiffany is struggling at the table because she got no sleep last night. And then Carrie is texting with Eduardo, who he texts and says that he woke up and he feels horrible this morning. And she's like, is he just allergies or you sick? And he's like, I took my temperature four times and I can't make it today, sorry, by seeing you never. So he's basically not coming, which is like the least shocking development

since he's getting totally on my entire season. Yeah, he hasn't wanted to be there and I don't really blame him, you know. I mean, she goes, she didn't do it this season, but her previous season was spent going, oh, it's a little, you know, we don't really like each other but I can't leave him because I won't get any money. So maybe he'll give me some money, really give me some money.

And he's like, no, I'm so, oh, God. Like, she makes him look like a total idiot. And so this year, he's just not gonna come. So have fun with that. Okay. No. Yeah. The whole reason why she's on the show is to get her out of his hair. So there's no reason for him to go on the show anymore because he doesn't want to be around her. So, so then anyway, so Kerry tells us that, like, you know, that he's just been so busy and it's been really tough on their marriage. And we haven't had any quality time that we so desperately needed to have to connect

with each other. Um, I'm like again, because I think he doesn't like you. I hate to be the bare bad news, but based on the empirical evidence on the TV show, I don't think he likes you anymore. Yeah, you actually called it last week, Kerry, for yourself. And he said, you know what? I don't think my husband likes me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. street carry for yourself and he said, you know what, I don't think my husband likes me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so then she is trying to be dramatic like she's having this scene away from everybody, but where they could see her, right? And so she's trying to look sad, but no one is paying attention to her. And then she hangs up the phone and still nobody's looking at her. So she yells, I can't believe it. I want to cry and nobody pays attention to her I didn't I didn't know that that's amazing nobody even turned around her gave her any attention So then she sits at the table and she's the only one who's actually changed the jazz or size outfit and she's like Come on, we all need to match girls. We all need to match. And they all just stare at her. Like, who wants to be the first to address the plexiglass? Right, because Brandi has just come out, right?

Before she came out, Brandi came out and was like, you know, we did say sorry, we called them. And Stephanie goes, yeah, but, you know, like the difference is like, you never disrespect property. So like, this was like a first time events for you. And Cameron's like, yeah, you never break anything and Brandy says oh Well, I didn't break anything like let's let's be honest about that. I was a me who broke it Yeah, of course immediately throws carry into the I mean carry did break it, but Brandy started it

Yeah, exactly and and Cameron's basically like do you feel that's okay to do which is of course not But we didn't mean to do that. And of course, I feel horrible. I feel horrible, which is what Carrie says all season long about every single thing that she does. After saying that what she did wasn't that bad. Like, that's how she starts, you know? She's like, I'm not sorry for this, and this is why. But then they keep on her, and so she's, but I said I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry, okay So a state Stephanie's like well, you know, it's just like it's like a sacred place for them You know what I mean? It's like you know, it's like basically Like a McDonald's is for Tandra or you know like a like a donut time is

For T&R. I'm thinking of a lot of T&R sacred places just for Deandra. I'm thinking of a lot of Tantra sacred places. But still it was sacred. Like a financial planner is no, not for Deandra, that one. And Deandra's like, okay, you know what? This is museum. You can't just be drawing people's property over and over and over again. Last time it was a salsa on the bed. Okay. You know, if we ripped your house apart, you would have gone ballistic over that. You would have gone ballistic, speaking to ballistics, get down on the bed okay you know if we'd rip your house apart you would have gone ballistic over that you would have gone ballistic speaking to ballistics get down on the floor put your nose on the ground I said that was sorry I said that was sorry hey camera goes were you sorry about the salsa because honestly what's next?

What's next? And Kary was just asking salsa? I can't hear you. I'm just more than salsa. Okay, fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay. And then... Salsa is a gateway crime. We all know that. Yeah.

Yeah. Next thing, Kary, you know, she's in a gang, you know, but we all see what's going on Yeah, so Dan just like Carrie. It's a pattern. Okay, you know day one you put her in the pool. She can't even swam And Carrie goes, okay, well, you know what? Then maybe I won't drink again because everybody says this because I'm drinking so then fine I won't drink again. I don't need to drink to have fun Yeah, which I think she's expecting everyone to be like, carry, no, we want you to drink.

But everyone's like, great, great idea. I feel like would you say that on this video? Okay, I'm getting evidence of you promising. So Deandra's like, what do you drink? You misbehaved. And last night was completely, it was completely like an accident.

It was an accident while you were like doing a very avoidable deed, you know? So And Tiffany is like, well, I don't understand why we're not being hard on Brandy also, which is true But I think because Brandy just says you know, I'm sorry. It was so wrong. I called the lady whatever You know and Carrie is a repeat offender and she doesn't really ever say sorry like later in the episode she's like, what's the big deal? It was all so the sheets and I washed it, you know, so she has no remorse or anything. Yeah, never. So Stephanie is like, well, like if you guys feel like I did stuff that was like out of character. I don't know like Peyton office or you know, um try to work or you know stuff like that I would hope that you'd be like oh my god she's in trouble, you know and maybe like try to help me You know like what if I made it to like a whole dinner and I didn't fart

Haha no don't do that you should fart you should have had if you want to I love you I love. I love you. I love you. I love you sometimes. So Cameron's like, Carrie, we wouldn't say anything unless we saw a pattern, which is ironic because the pattern was actually covered with salsa. I mean, what's next? What's next?

And now Carrie's like, why is everyone attacking me right now? You know what? And then she pulls, I hate this. I hate when people try to like divert from the real issue with this bullshit. If my friends want to talk to me, because they care about me,

then you need to talk to me one on one. I can like, it's a gang up. That's not what friends do. I'm like, you do. Yeah, like you do. Like you talk to everybody. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, All out. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Agreed. Yeah, like we saw that episode in that empty wine burn. We know like you are, don't act like you are like all about like a like a single, you know, private moment. Yeah, when they show the carry clip of like all the things carries done this season, every single one of those was a public call out. Like every single one. Every single one.

So Tiffany's like, well, when I think they're trying to say is that like with you, it like goes to another level and it just gets like mean. And he goes, I've never mean never, never mean. Nope. And Tiffany, so salsa with that wasn't mean. And it was scary. I mean, what's next step for salsa? Mustard? I mean, it's scary. So, and she's like, well, you don't think you're a mean to Charles? I mean, I apologize. I was just respectful and I expand myself like 10,000 times, which again, like not very remorseful, right? So she gets like saying, I don't need alcohol to have fun. I'm not going to drink tonight. And then we see a montage of Kerry just apologizing

a million times over the course of the season which shows up this. Which is great peers. Yeah, big. You know, because she's learning that. So then, Randy, Dan does not buy and get, of course. And Brandy's like, listen, don't be yourself up.

I mean, tonight I want you to have the best time. Don't punish yourself because trust me. I've done that You know, I've really really hurt myself when I shouldn't be hurting myself Like okay, Brandi. This is about you. Okay for Christ. You just threw the woman under the bus as she was at the table And now you're trying to make it about your own damn self, which you weren't the victim in either Yeah, but the best part is that when Brandi's trying to prop up carry. She goes, listen, tonight I want you to have the best, the best time at Wardo's going to be there. All the spouses are going to be there. Then that includes Eduardo because he's

the spouse. So just reiterating Eduardo will be there tonight. So then they get ready for jazz or size and carries all bummed because she just got Told off in the sweetest way And I'm very supportive nice way Yeah, like for Deandra maybe for what we're not used to on housewives at all like the sweetest way ever right so then Deandra goes and she's like knocking on carry store. She's like Like a let dandruff knock like You better open up and I'm fully loaded You better open up this gun is ready fire Like a lot dandruff like

So she's knocking and carry it's like I mean some time Speak louder, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not Temple please, I swear I'll do anything. Oh, she is. Look, I'm sorry. My delivery in the best, but you know what? I'm worried about you because your behavior, like there's got to be something going on. Kerry. And she's like, oh, really? Because you were like that last year. And Dan was like, Oh, well, I didn't destroy stuff.

And then we see Dan was drunk in the year, you know, her falling down is Mama D wasted at the finale party and everything else. And Kerry's like, but I didn't destroy stuff. I put salt on sheets and I watched him. Okay. Like you probably destroyed that fucking mattress. Yes, you did destroy stuff and the washing machine that now has a gallon. It wasn't just like a little salsa.

I mean, it was like a gallon jug of salt. I hate getting you also wasted salsa too, by the way. So Deandra is, she's like, listen, I just want the best for you and I want to get to the bottom of this mother. Okay, so I want to know why you're so upset. Like, that is, no, I want to get the butt. That's a mark of a good friend. Me one, one, one, I want to know why she's upset. I'm a good friend, Shannon. I'm a good friend. And Carrie's like, oh, I can't, it's okay. She's not gonna leave me alone so I'll pretend to cry. Oh, it's been so hard with her tward on. My kid having depression, it's so difficult. Oh, oh, my mom, I did the image and I had to raise myself.

Oh! And coronavirus, yes, yes, coronavirus. That hoax. So hard. So hard to laugh when no one else is laughing about it. And dangerous like oh just cry it's been a long time coming. I know I know just let things out picture. I'll believe M&M on fire. So meanwhile Tiffany found a little baby lizard and the lizard's like chill which is weird because lizards are like they just scam scamper. Like that's what their life motto is. Like scamper. And she's just those kinds of chill because they're all over here, they're all over this area and they just come in your house. I had one in my house and we were trying to catch it, but my niece was like, I want to get it. And then I would let her get it, but then she would freak out and start screaming and run away because, you know, so I ended up under the couch or something.

And so a couple days later, the lizard was just sitting there, like just looking at me. Like, it was on the floor, but it was just like looking up at me. And so I got it and it came on my hand and everything. And I was like, wow, this is like a little dog. Yeah, I so it's so sweet. And then I put it out on the welcome mat, you know, in front of the front door and a close the door. And then it just like looked back at me Okay, that's it. That's it buddy Little Ian Mocken lizard mom mother left me on the welcome mat. I never got the love of my mother I spent a whole day under that couch waiting for for that love and then I just got put out on a mat.

I should have kept it inside to get that fucking spider, by the way. Okay. So now where are we? So Carrie is her makeup. They're just doing hair make up and stuff. Yeah. You know, yeah. And the spouses are showing up, because they skipped jazz or size entirely. So now the, the, all the husbands are showing up because they skipped jazz or size entirely so now this the all the husbands are showing up and Carry at one point carry comes down the stairs and Brandy's husband Brian Mr. Personality walks in you know like Oh, and she's like oh Oh, guess what Ed water wasn't coming. He's sick and Brian just goes oh

I'm like do you have any so it's a pandemic and Eduardo is sick? Are you even like, be alarmed on some level? Yeah, is it? Yeah. I feel like it's okay. Are you okay? And he's like, oh, great, Brian and Brandy, what a couple, right? So Brandy goes out to look at the food

and she starts getting herself like a little salad and then she gets addressing. She's, I don't have any idea what this is. to look at the food and she starts getting herself like a little salad and then she gets addressing. She's, I don't have any idea what this is. And the waiter goes, it's ranch. And she's like, oh, somewhere. Wow, what a worldly couple you two are. Somewhere Katie from Vanderpump rules is so angry.

Katie from Vanderpump rules was like looking her TV. So let's see. Jeremy, is this where someone asks Dan Rahushi is and she's like, I'm seeing Wailing. She was married to J.R. and he was always shating on her. I'm like, maybe pick a different one. Like really?

That's who you're gonna pick. Maybe not the best choice. So, so yeah, so then, so they're just, they're putting on their wigs and everything. And, you know, oddly enough, I actually liked them dressed like 80s Dallas women. I somehow just like worked a little bit better for me. I was like, you guys should just lean into this.

Just have big, big ass hair of neck season. That's what I really am tuning in for. Yeah, those wigs. So then who comes Daniel comes and all the guys are cheersing downstairs and stuff. And Brian's like, what are they setting up here? And Travis goes, who cares is your money? Brian's like, uh, and then Tiffany and Daniel, like Tiffany's putting on a blonde wig and Daniel's got a cowboy hat on.

She's like, I feel like we're trying to look like we're white. And Daniel says he's like, Oh, I'm dressed as JR Uing. And Tiffany's like, I'm the blonde girl. Lucy, is that our name? Lucy, Lucy. And she tells the guys at the bar. She's like, yeah, Daniel wants to do it. Doggy style while I'm in this wig, but he told me not to turn around. Should I be a fan bed?

And he's like, yeah, because like, it's weird, like seeing that blonde hair and then her face. It's like, yeah. So, um, uh, and so then everyone's just like downstairs milling around. They do a group photo on the staircase, um, which is on everyone's Instagram. and then they're all around and Brian goes The good part about boots is that I don't feel so short around these ladies and courts like welcome to my life

So then we just see Deandra running down a hallway upstairs gone after a running down a hallway upstairs, I paid my spanks, I paid them. So he goes into her clown squad and just lifts her dress and bends over and they blow dry her piece. It was like a weird scene out of Amadeus or something. I was just, they're blow dry. They're just, just,

D'Andre Deyes is that what you said? Vagadeus. Oh, Vagadeusus, I'm a piece. But yeah, they're bloat, they're just like gonna get that stuff caked on. I paid my spikes, I paid my thick, and you're gonna dry it off, okay? And I want to hear another word about it, okay? Undernays, I don't know whose everyone. Yeah, and Jeremy tells us, he's like, that is literally the worst have you have,

pain on yourself. God, I love you so much. I've never loved you more. I mean, you're getting ready. Your five minutes turns into 10, which turns into 20, which turns into 70, which turns into pretty Jessica says, I'm in the back. Come out. Where was I, honey? So then there's like, there's a everyone cheered does a cheer there's a cheers and and then brandy is like Stephanie can I can I pull you a side here's one of the other five or second let's go over here okay Stephanie I can't do this little like a little gift. Oh my god, which is me. It's just you know something. That's like just it's really like a really important. You know how much I love you. Oh my god. I don't have to get me anything. Let's quit Got me your friendship. You got me on that because I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Oh my gosh. Sweet. This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Oh my god You're the nicest person I've ever done anything nice for you're like the nicest person whoever did something nice for me

That I got happy about it was like even nicer after I was happy about it This is like the hardest year of my life like yeah, I broke like the glass and My heart you're too because like I had a waffle and I had to eat a chicken. It was really good. Why did you do that? Did you have any of that good white sauce on it? It was crazy. They call it ranch, which is funny because we're at a ranch, but it doesn't look like a ranch.

It's just us. Yeah, my mom, my mom just put weeds in a blender and call it ranch because we can't afford ranch. So my mom put diapers in a blender and just called it diapers. Love you. Love you too. Love you, love you too. I love you so much. Okay, so they have their weird private moment.

And then Stephanie tells us, like they've been friends for so long, 14 years. And this was the hardest year ever, you guys. And that includes the year that they didn't speak, you know? She almost committed suicide, but she's grown from it and she's learning. And so they vowed to be each others forever best friend. And I'm also quite a nice last scene for Brandy. Right now. Bye. Bye. So then there's like some fun and games where they're like

lassoing fake cows. And then there's like an armadillo racing scene. I love of an armadillo. Ronnie, you know what story I'm gonna tell next? About the time I went to St. Louis and saw that Armadillo on the side of the road. Who knew that Armadillo's were all over St. Louis? But, these poor Armadillos, they're a big nuisance. They said they had to get grills on the front of their trucks because there were so many Armadillos jumping up

into the trucks. Because Armadillos, Armadillos are so mean. Like, there's a truck coming. Let me jump directly into its path. So, uh, silly Armadillos. Armadillos are so mean. Like, there's a truck coming. Let me jump directly into its path. So silly Armadillos. Well, these Armadillos had a good reason to be frightened. Not that a Mac truck isn't a good reason, but they were basically in a cage and all the women like grabbed them and then they had to do some sort of race where they like whose Armadillo is gonna run across the cage first, which

I feel like that's a very low stakes race, you know? Yeah, and Travis is like the most Travis at these parties, right? Cause he's like, you know what? Jeremy's a butthole. Okay, that was his first line. And then this next time he goes, hey Jeremy, do you get a participation trophy? And Jeremy goes, hey, we're in Texas, bro,

we don't do that here So um, carry is once again announces that she's not drinking. I don't need the drink. I don't need the drink I'm having so much fun so much fun. I am glad she didn't drink because there was a big potato bar And you know that if she was drunk she'd been talking big potatoes all around that party. You just run the pool and sit You've been talking big potatoes all around that party. You just know I'm in the pool and shit. Yeah, the armadillo. Take it, Mr. Potato, okay? I'm a dino and small peepee. Sorry.

So sorry for snorning. So Carrie calls FaceTime Zadwardo, you know. So Brandy's like, oh my god, did you tell him what we did last night? Glad that you both think it's so hilarious. Okay, I'm done being I'm my I'm spent my hour just gone So Kerry's like, oh, you know, I haven't talked to him because he's been feeling sick I'm like, well, that's probably when you should be talking to him the most What kind of partner are you? Okay, like I haven't talked to him. He's probably got COVID who knows he could be dead soon Why would I call him? He's your kid. Yeah. So Cameron's go for life, by the way, if you can't tell. Team Eduardo.

Poor Eduardo. So although he made his choice, he, no, yeah, he made his choice not to sign any goddamn papers. So Cameron's like, Kerry is dealing with a lot right now. Her business is struggling a lot, find on Troy, her daughter Olivia is going to a lot with depression. And I don't think Eduardo is supporting her with all this drama going on. And then she's just like nodding as she's saying it. And then she just is like, I don't know, she's like talking about Edward or she's like, poor thing. I just hope it's not COVID.

Mm. There's just something like the way she was saying it as if like, I hope he doesn't have a hang nail. I hope it doesn't. It's not COVID. Yeah. Yeah. So then they're talking about the kids going back to school

and stuff and courts like, I went to summer school at Winston because I was dyslexic and Brandy's like, I went to summer school at Winston because I was dyslexic and Brandy's like, Oh, I'm, oh my God. And so wrong. So wrong. So wrong. Sorry, I couldn't think of another dyslexic thing. It's OK.

So she's like, you know what? I failed, which is actually really good because I would have been one grade above Brian. And then I wouldn't have dated him because we met in the eighth grade. And camera goes such a love story. Yeah. You you've failed out of one school, wound up in another.

And now you guys have a loveless marriage. Love that. So, um, yeah. So brand you're saying how Brian, she's like just going on about Brian and how he's just shown unconditional love this year. And again, you just see Brian sitting there in his like in his midlife crisis black teacher like. Yeah, he's like.

Yarmadillo is like, you good? Yeah, you okay? Welcome, boys. Welcome to this fly up in this face and take his pulse like he's still with his money. The armadillos are like, well, we tried to fling ourselves into him and we survived. So that really says something.

Yeah. And he's like, well, look at her. She puts up with me for so long. She's like, uh, you put up with me. Please cut to the video of Brian and the bar making out without like this. It's time you're missing your cue, people. So then we see Tiffany. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

Yeah. No, let's just say the same thing that Tiffany and Daniel are like, hang out with Jeremy and Tiffy is like, she's done with her. Wait, she doesn't want to wear it anymore. And Daniel doesn't like it either. And Jeremy's like, oh, for 20 minutes, you'll like it. Dan, Draco is back minutes, you'll like it. Deandra comes back from all these crazy costume parties. And I'm like, whoa, hey, you're hot. You're hot. God, I love having sex with my wife when she's dressed in costume. Looks like anyone but

Deandra, right? Totally. And Stephanie's like, did you do it when she was in the mama the wig? And he's like, oh no, oh no. And Stephanie's like, you know what, Sandra? I will say that like when I first met you, you were like so much, you were like so different. Like I like you so much more now than I did then. Because like every year, like I see a little bit more of you. And like every year, I like you like a little bit more. So.

So because that's supposed to sound like a compliment. Thank you Stephanie so much and on that note everyone get down okay I got a little gun here put all your money in the center you're putting this mama day week and you won't get out of here alive thank you very much. Yeah and then Jeremy and Dan Dren are together in the diary room and he's like you know I just love my wife I love that she's seen ashamed God that's And he's like, you know, I just love my wife. I love that she's seen the same God. That's when I fell in love with you again. I just love that Dandra.

Like this guy is so cheating on you. Like not only a little bit, this guy is fucking half the town. I've never seen this smarmy or fucking guy in my life. This guy is, he's probably getting a blowjob right now during this interview. Well, he calls me a Christian in the morning and I'll witch it now. He's probably getting a blowjob right now during this interview. Well, he calls me a question in the morning and a witch at that. So then I'll tell that witch. Fuck her good.

God, that's when I film over to you, baby. Oh, yeah. You want to talk about the fun gravity, right? Mm-hmm. So, uh, Dan, now we get the updates, which is surprise. Deandra and her stepmother have not kept in touch. And her brother still refuses to have a sit down with her, but she still sits down with her shaman twice a week

and burns M&M's. And solves her soul. She sits down with her ashaman, her yes, man. So then Cameron is Cameron's fascinating conversation. You see, Cameron doesn't have to do anything interesting, and I still love her. Yeah. Cameron's talking to somebody, she goes,

oh my god, this year, like now I have my dream house, and I have to like find furniture for it. It's like so much girl. Like that was the kind of drama for the whole time. That was her season. I love, you know, listen, I love you know listen I you know I like people have their own things like you know you know you move you gotta you got a furniture place that's fine but she's like I'm going to be literally tested my patients will be tested

I'm like well there's also a global pandemic too that might that maybe that might not rank that you know. So the update is Cameron is ignoring courts requests to have less pink in the new house. She has pink paint ready for the kitchen and even fancy could not escape the pink paintbrush and we see fancy with like a pink little paws. Oh, so then they're complimenting Carrie, trying to make her feel good.

They're like, oh my God, Carrie, you've never looked so good. I mean, you look like a bombshell. I was like, oh, I don't look like I haven't done me. P.P. No, Carrie, you look great. Man, I want to just start some all on fire. Yeah, just like I wanted them to squirt sauce on her and be like, it's just salsa, right? Just salsa. I wanted them to squirt salsa on her and be like, it's just salsa, right?

Just salsa. So Carrie or her update, oh no, it wasn't Carrie's update, it was Stephanie's update, which is because she had a amazing year and Stephanie continues to give locker room makeovers to needy schools. And because of her poor attendance, Travis rented out her office and she's working at home like many Americans. I was like, oh, okay.

It's like sort of funny that they added that. like many Americans. I was like, oh, okay. It's like sort of funny that they added that. Like many Americans. I felt like they were trying to shame me. Mother, I am working at home like many Americans, mother. Oh, and Jeremy's like, hey, I've got a chairs. All the guys. We've got beautiful women, with chairs, everybody. God, I've put them in wigs. Let's put them in wigs and All the guys we've got beautiful women Me cheers everybody God, I'll put them in wigs. Let's put them in wigs and fuck them like homer de los am I right everyone? Put them in pretty Jessica wigs and fuck them like a 1999 Carries renewed relationship with her mother is going strong. However, her marriage status remains complicated.

She has not destroyed any properties since South Fork or pushed anyone in a pool. Yeah, and it looks like they're gonna get a divorce. It looks like that scene announcement at the reunion guest time will tell. No one cares. Still have to tell you that. Okay, so then Dandra is talking to Tiffany and Tiffany is talking about how much she loves being with the girls and she's grown so much. And Dan Dara's like, I mean, you know, you've grown so much. I mean, it looked at you. And Dan is like, yeah, she's grown a lot. She can really that loose now and have some fun. I mean, look at you. You look so much more relaxed to me. She's like, that's a problem.

As she pulls out a Excel spreadsheet to list all the reasons why she's fun now. Tiffany has been living her best life with her new schedule. She even took her kids girls camping and bigfoot hunting in Oklahoma. But she did that only to show them what happens if you don't get into Cornell. And she also heard her mother, you turned into bigfoot, which is Liam Locke and saying that. Her and her mother are taking baby steps to a better relationship. And then Brandy gives a speech and she's like, howdy y'all. I just want to thank you. This has been the most difficult year of my life. Okay, great.

So we get to end the season with Brandy being the biggest fucking victim. As usual, over it, get her out of here. But to celebrate, I would like to show you one of my favorite dances, the worm. Hold on one second, let me just get down here on my stomach, and here we go. Here's how to do the worm, just sort of thrust your stomach into the ground and rise up. And again, it's fun. That's everyone. Let's do

the worm now. Now we're going to play a little game called Pinta Tale into my stomach. Okay. So there's some tales with some nails in them just to come by here and whoever gets me right in the middle of the stomach with a piece of candy Who wants to belly flop into the pool anyone? So after filming Brandi learns she was 16 weeks pregnant during a routine doctors visit And by the way when they so you know when they do these updates, they always freeze the frame, right? So they first the frame with Brandy holding a coldly or drink up.

She has her drink up to be like, she's like, Brandy was 16 weeks pregnant. Yes. And she's kissing Brian at the same time. She's holding it and it shows them kiss and then it's black and white. And it goes, yeah, that's because she's holding it and they give the update, which is that she was pregnant. And then she gave birth. They goes, she gave birth to her daughter,

Brelin, and then a month later, she mourned the death of her dog sugar. I was like, well, that's, that, why don't we just end it in a celebratory place? But then after that, they have to end it with something bad, every single time. Yeah, but then after that, then it comes back into full motion and Brian goes in for that kiss. It's like boom Black and white. Oh, okay. I see. Yeah, I'm in black and white and that was the end of real house awesome

Dallas, so then we see clips from the reunion where Kerry apparently got corona or COVID or whatever and Brandy was sitting right next to her on the plane. So Carrie, I think has it. So she has to do it from the hotel. And Brandi has to do it from the hotel too. But they're both on these TV screens fit into chairs. And Brandi's in the dark like she has no one to matter anything. She's put like one of those kind of sad ponytails on top of her head. And she, her heads all pulled back and she's just, she just looks like this. And she's got a low, it's like she's never done a zoom before.

Like girl, don't you know how to make yourself like pretty for zoom at this point? I mean, carry carry, carry has decent lighting considering, but for the way that we're going to be. It's the shadow. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. It looks like it'll be a good reunion.

I'm excited for it. And this is just fun. I guess I just like this show because I think that we just always find so much stuff to laugh about and that makes it a lot more fun for us. So we hope that you guys also find things to laugh about and stay safe and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Tomorrow is Real Housewives of New Jersey, and then we also have Summer House this week. So it's a big, big week. And don't forget to go to onlocationlive.com

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