Watch What Crappens - RHODubai: Belly Snub

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

The Real Housewives of Dubai celebrate a maternity fashion show and Caroline Stanbury snubs them all. This week's bonus episode is a Best and Worst list dedicated to body parts. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. The podcast for all that crap. We love to joke about a geobrobs. I'm Ronnie.

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Tap of the morning. Are you no tool? Are you a no tool? Remember when we thought that was a boring season? Are you a no tool? And now I'm like, oh my god, I wish it was the are you a no tool season? The glory days. All right. I wish it was the R-U-N-O tool season. I had the glory days. All right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, yes. So many things have changed.

Yep. Well, some of these agents age so well in retrospect. You know, is there a little delay? By the way, I apologize if I'm just like talking right over you. I'm delayed in general as a human being. So. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, apologies.

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We talk to you. Talk to us. 7 p.m. Pacific, 10 p.m. Eastern on Spotify. And today is Real Housewives of Dubai. 7 p.m. Pacific, 10 p.m. Eastern on Spotify. Lauren. And today is real housewives of Dubai. Basic. Basic recap. Basic. Today we are basic. Yeah.

Well, we do some classic real housewives things today. We have a fashion show. We have excessive, an excessive stacation, stuff like that. So you know, the medical things where they go, they take each other to the medical. We got a two-furt because we got the medical spot, the med spot thing,

and we also got the stomach thing where they put the thing on your stomach and everybody goes, oh my god, it's killing me! We got all of the bravo stuff kind of wrapped up in one sandy episode of Dubai. Yeah, we also got the Dubai version of Shannon Bedouard's Seven Lemons In the Bowl. It's more like about 20 lemons in a stockpot, which is of course, because then everything's sort of like bigger and more luxe in Dubai, so that's a natural progression for the lemons.

Yeah, I mean, I was more excited for the new pot that the girl got. I was like, that's pretty good. I know, I was good. That's what I was thinking. Who brings lemons? Bring me a pot. I'm into it.

Like, you got a stockpot. That's the nice stockpot. Oh, yeah. So, the episode opens up with Lisa walking around in Event Space, because it's one week before her fashion show for Mina Row. And she's there with Ion and her friend who's like a stylist guy or whatever.

And William. Oh, a friend. William. Do you mean William? A friend William. Hello, I'm William. They're carrying around pregnancy, like fake pregnancy bellies because it's a maternity thing. And he's like, look at that ballet.

That could be a new honbal look. I thought it was a handbag at first, because she had them all like around her, like she brought them all draped from her elbow. So I was like, wow, what an interesting handbag. And turns out they were just bunch of bellies, they put on models to show off. Yeah, hot bog. I love you new Hanbok. Yeah, those bags are getting bigger and bigger. I'd believe it. You know, people are carrying around like these days. What did you say? Bags these days. And my right, they just get bigger. I mean, they're like human trafficking bags at this point.

I'm like, who are you carrying a child in that bag? Like, what are you carrying in? It's like the biggest work and I've ever seen in my life. Things either get really big or really small. Just follow the Apple model. You're here, they're gonna have like, he always a tiny, tiny iPod,

but also in enormous one that fills the room, which do you want? Oh, I was waiting for the end of the sentence. I love it. That was it. That was it was just going to let it hang there. You know, talk about talk, no better time to have a pregnant pause than talk to them in discussing that. I'm sorry.

I told you my mind is delayed. I don't know what the hell's wrong. I'm not. So I was like, wow, I guess my steering commentary about Apple products really isn't landing. And Lisa's like, oh my gosh, I just keep having babies. So I'm like a pro with a pregnant belly. And she's like, oh, all my pregnant pictures on Instagram,

they're not even mine. I don't take pictures of myself from a pregnant. They're all Lisa. Yeah, so Lisa talks about how her husband, what's her husband? Rick and Joy Patrick. Rich, I love, she's just dated, she's just married to the rich guy,

which is actually very fitting for the episode because he even does the announcement for her show. He's like, hello, I'm Rich. Welcome to the show. I do nothing's like, hello, I'm Rich. Welcome to the show. I do nothing but pay the bills, because I'm Rich. It's always good to marry the adjective that you aspire for. So I know I'm looking for a guy named Finn. Okay.

Ethan. The other, I have just seen my future and it begins with an e. Ethan Hawke, oh, but that might involve birds. Ethan Hawke. I don't know about Ethan Hawke. I don't know. Ethan Hawke's one of those people I always felt like I was supposed to have a crush on,

but I just couldn't. You know, like when you try to have a crush on somebody, I'm like, yeah. No, just, I'm like, yeah. That's right to make you think more. Because he was, yeah, I couldn't really do it. Because he was in that, like, sunrise on a plate. Because he was in that like sunrise on a plane. No, sunrise on a train or before the sunrise is on the train with. It was like, I can't.

Yeah, before something. Yeah. Yes, we're the like, let's have deep discussions about relationships on a train. I said, shot. I know. I thought that was my parents. This is all with their hands. In the 90s. Oh. I was like, ma, that was without bringing him all is all with the English. I guess. In the 90s. Oh.

I was like, ma, that was without bringing him all these like artsy movies on VHS. I remember once, this is so me, I remember I brought back in the 90s, there was like this French trilogy of movies called Red. Oh yes. Blue, white, red. Blue? Blanc, rouge.

And I was like, I brought, I rented all three and I was like, we're gonna watch, we're gonna watch all three back to back, which not does not make for a fun day. That's not like watching three star wars or watching the Avengers. It's like, first we discuss a lady whose husband and children died in a car accident and now she swims.

Yes, I watch those two as a teenager. I was like, wow, independent film. I'm into it. But half the time I didn't get it. So I would just keep watching the movie. It's like my relationship with Ethan Hawke basically was my journey into independent films. I was like, I love it guys. I'm like, guys, I'm wearing a parade to the movie house.

I love it guys. I'm like guys. I'm wearing a parade to the movie house. No, I totally went through my teenager. I thought teenage love indie film phase, even though I didn't really enjoy the most movies I was watching. That one was particularly difficult. Okay, so Lisa tells us how Mina Roe is known for providing the best maternity close literally in the world guys literally in the world. And I was like, oh my god, congrats on Pienopod. So they're going to be branching out from maternity because it's hard to get return customers because people just don't get pregnant right, you know, one after the other. They take a couple of years off. So they're going to do clothes

while they're not pregnant too. My nice is just snack lines because I would prefer that. I'm looking for a clothing line that only goes up in size. So if I start at maternity level, I'm also snacks and then some, you know, velcro versions of all the shit that I bought before. Yeah, have I like a detachable like, like, majority parts? So then when you're done being printed, it like comes off and you put on something that's like a different piece of fabric. Yeah. Just thinking out loud. I love it. You know,

it's like the infinity dress, but for moms, you know, yeah, the Ron finity dress, it's just one pair of old maybe jeans that comes in every size, you know, every size I'm ever going to be. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so but he believed in Lisa and he said, I am investing in you Lisa. I'm not investing in this vision. I'm investing in you. And guess what? Now, yeah. I don't know.

I kind of don't like Rich now, even though he gave her money for her business because I don't like that. Like I don't get it. What do you get? Maternity clothes? Everybody gets pregnant. I mean, like a lot of people get pregnant.

What don't you see? What's your vision not catching rich? And there's nothing like telling your wife, like, I don't really got it, but I'll invest in you. Like, fuck off. I don't like it. I don't like rich now. What does he do?

What does he do? I don't know. Is he just, I don't know. Well, maybe he needs to invest in a pool that doesn't need ice. This is one of the shows where the husbands all, they say like, what are the husbands doing? They're like entrepreneur and finance.

Like, okay, could you be a little more specific? Finance and entrepreneurship. Well, you know, Berkeley's and standards and poor. Standards and rich, more like. So anyway, so the models are coming out because they're gonna like, they're choosing models and everything and such models. They're picking models and I am and goes,

oh, don't forget the super sized ones. Yeah, we need them too. We need them to super size. The super size. And it's not super size, plus size. Come on. And Lisa's like, yeah, this is not McDonald's. Okay. And she's, oh, yes, I know. And she tells us many big brands come to me for models because I have a modeling agency. But this is the first time a client has asked me for a plus size model. Super size is food, not

humans. But I'm getting better with English. I know the word now verbatim. The other day I go into the bank and I tell the guy, give me my money verbatim. I think she looks up the definition, which is like said as it was verbatim. Yes, basic word. So she's like, okay, this model is yummy. I found her on the internet.

And William's like, where on the internet? The Instagram instant internet. Who invited him in? Who invited him here? And then Lisa tells a story about how they first met, which is that for her show, she wants it to have two black models. So she went to two different agencies. So she booked Chanel two different agencies. So

she booked Chanel from one and I on from another and what's the same person and they they prefer. I like that I on has those kind of pictures we all get when we first moved to LA to start acting, whereas like when you're wearing glasses, so you're like an office worker. And then in the other one, you're like smiling and you have bangs so you're a mom, you know? Yeah She has different looks for different things like wait a minute I thought I hired a farmer a secretary and a young mother and it was just one lady. She's like trick you basic I'm missing a person

So so then we go over to Caroline Who's like arriving at the Atlantis hotel that they've gone to on a billion of these shows and she's meeting up with Nina and she's, hello, I hope your son's not as grumpy as mine. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, they're pretty grumpy. And she's like, oh, look at all the fun we're going to have. And here you are, grumpy, grumpy grumpy. And she's coming in and like jeans and kind of a bikini top sweater type thing. And she's like, as a guest in this country, I'm asked all the time, can you show your skin, your knees? And I say all the time, it's not about that. It's about showing respect to the people

with enough money to wear bikini tops and not get in trouble for it. Rich people can do whatever they want, wherever they want. Thank you. Was that patriotic enough? Print it, print it. Yeah, that was kind of the vibe I was getting from her. And I think that Dubai has a strong culture of stacation,

especially for families, but I've never seen anything like this because they're in this like glamorous suite and You know she says that the sweetest book three rooms in advance probably because bravo is always booking it for their various real house Life shows she says everyone right now is getting on a plane to try to get out of their country And we just have it on our doorstep. Well, we do not our servants Pastor, please vacuum faster. We're walking in the room now. Please be done with this.

Thank you. And Nina's like, well, they knew I was coming and they said they're scones here. She's, no, if they knew you were coming, there would be fries here. And we get a tss. And I was like, ooh, that was a really rude diss. But then we find out that Nina's trying out

a new personality, somebody who likes fries. Yeah, yeah. My amus on just turned on for that. You don't like me talking about Nina's French fry personality, the Smotted thing. You wanna argue about it? So Nina's like living in Dubai feels like an endless vacation

because there's so much to do. And growing up in Austin, Texas, once you take a trip to like Corpus Christi and my family are so Arabs, like we would go to a hotel, we'd pack the trunk with food and coolers. Oh my goodness. But you know what, I really try to ground my children as much as possible here in Dubai, because it's so easy to spoil them. I'm like, lady, they're eating a spread and I'm room that probably costs $20,000 per night with all sorts of food that's gonna go un-eaten

because it's just sitting there going cold. After your Thanksgiving out of Ferris Wheel, I mean, this is my favorite kind of delusional rich person. The one that's like, look, I'm just like you America. I used to go on trips with my family in a car to Corpus Christi Boa, they would have food in trunks. Oh boy, me, blah. I just don't want my kids to be snobs, you know.

I know. Well, it's so funny Caroline because once upon a time I knew Caroline and we ran in the same circle, but we didn't talk. And so she tells Caroline that when she would talk to her, that she would feel a wall, she's like, yeah, you were kind of nice, but you were like, hi, bye, but look at us now. Yeah, look at us. A friendship for television, you know, and we're having a slumber party.

I'm gonna use this thing. Although we'll be in separate rooms. Here's the thing you have to understand about me. The reason that you felt a wall going up was because every time you tried to talk to me, I grabbed you by the weave, ripped your head around and pushed you into a wall. So that was the literal wall you were feeling. And people think I'm standoffish and that I'm better than them, but I wouldn't call it social anxiety. I would call it mild social disgust that I have.

And here's the thing, I hate small talk from small people, nothing personal. Also, I didn't give you a chance, mostly because your small and your head was banged into a wall. So, hmm, glad we're here. It's like, wow, this friendship, this is like beaches. Yeah, Nina's like, she's like, you know I had a few people say, I think if you got to know that ice queen over there with a strange face, I think you'd really get along. And she's like, well, you know, it's funny because people told me that too. And I was like, no, no, no, she's far too boring. I mean, even looking at you right now, I'm quite bored.

I mean, basically, I'm just doing this as a charity case, you know, rich people for boring people. That's the charity. I give myself to boring people and enrich their lives for about 25 more minutes before I go somewhere. But since I'm a different person now on Real Housewives of Dubai, I will say this is the best you've ever looked. You're talking to a skull. Oh, well, nevermind then. Never mind then. Nina, I do have to say you move with such grace and I am in awe of your ability to travel around this tank so quickly. You're now just looking at the aquarium. Oh, that's not you. That salmon there. That's not you at all. Oh, my apologies. It's funny because we clicked straight away once we got to know how rich the other was.

You know, even if we had an argument, I know that I could settle that with you because you're reasonable. West, I feel like some of the others are not reasonable. They've heard things and they want to stay there about us. So basically, these two hate each other. Everybody knows that they hate each other, but now they're making a alliance for television even though they hate each other. Love it.

That's very real housewives. And then Caroline's daughter arrives, Yasmin orgasmin, who is, she's great. She's basically like the spirit of Caroline from lately to the London, and she comes in, and she's just like, mother, and Caroline goes, all these children, I can't believe Sergio wants to have another one eventually.

And she goes, you're not allowed to have another one mother. There's no world. There's no world where you could ever convince me to have another sibling. Because if you have another sibling, I will kill it by staring at it until it dies of embarrassment's mother.

Yes, but what about Sergio? He might want one. I'm not planning a baby today I'm just going to freeze my eggs which shockingly enough might give them my current face But there's no world where I can convince you she's like no world mother no absolute world She's like what were you studying today darling? Like revisionist like oh Nina here's doing revisions to on all the time She called me low born trash or aren't you Nina? Everybody's studying today. This is true. This is true. And so Caroline's like, so you don't want another baby, another little Sergio. And she goes, no,

he already acts like a man, Chad. We don't need another child, mother. You barely remember that you have three children already, mother. Ugh. Heh heh heh heh. But he needs one eventually. No, he doesn't. Well, maybe it'll be with another woman. Good, he can stay married to you and have a kid with someone else, mother. Some trash box, okay? Like this one right over here.

That's my friend, Nina. Oh, apologies. And Caroline's last, and she's like, she's definitely my daughter, saying he should have another baby with somebody else. That's my friend Nina. Oh, apologies. And Caroline's last, and she's like, she's definitely my daughter saying you should have another baby with somebody else. And you know, Nina's just like, I called you Trashy and I met. You're asking me. Trashy, okay?

I could just feel the judgment coming from Nina on the other side of the TV. So then we go to lunch, very fancy place. Called Scalini. And Chanel is carrying a pot on her head Because she's Chanel, you know, and so they come and she's like oh Lisa in in like high fashion She's like in high fashion but with her pot on it She's like Lisa you want to see what I brought her lemons because she's so beta over me no lemons

So I want to know by Brooks say what she why that about me. Look, we are matching to. We have so much taste. I cannot wait to give pizza lemons. Yeah. So then Ion's, by the way, Ion's also asking about the goat. And Lisa's like, oh, yeah, the goats doing really well. I mean, we spent two hours trying to find it. You know, then I finally had to post it on Facebook.

And then someone found it, which was good because there was a panther loose. This neighbor had a lot of activity. I go in a panther that was loose. I feel like one solves the issue for the other if I'm thinking for the honest. Well, I feel like this is my neighborhood. I feel like I've seen these posts. Like I'm missing a goat.

Anybody seen my goat? Guys, watch out. There's a panther on the loose. Well, it wasn't a panther, it was a bobcat. But everybody was sending in their ring cam footage of a bobther on the loose. Well, it wasn't a panther, it was a bobcat, but everybody was sending in their ring cam footage of a bobcat in the neighborhood. And I was like, wow, I made a great move. So Lisa talks about how the goat has diarrhea,

so they switched up their food and they've insisted that it's organic. And Chanel's like, that is so max, that is so max, verb so max verbatim verbatim Hey and thanks again just want to say thanks again for getting me a goat with diarrhea thanks I'm really loving this in my high fashion house thanks bestie so then Brooks walks in Carolina Brooks walks in and the part of lemon is on her chair and I honest like I got your gift verbatim. And so she's like okay like what the hell is a part doing on my chair?

She goes well I know you're upset with me and I am with you and I thought we could make something sweet out of it. I'm not saying that bitter part. Yeah we can make lemonade and bricks is like so when life gives you lemons you give Caroline bricks a lemonade. And she's like, yes, well, we both get lemonade. Okay, you can put it on the ground. And she's like, you're always full of drinks. Aren't you, Chanel? They just like sit there often really like. Yeah. And then the waiter comes over to take their orders and I on orders the way I would totally imagine her. She basically lifts up her menu and she goes, I want these and that's, these and that's. And Lisa's just over there

giving dirty soap opera looks a whole time to Brooks, which is so funny. They just come cutting to Lisa's face like, so Brooks is like, okay, well, I guess all start. I think we all have regrets about how, when it means dinner, mostly all the different kinds of potatoes, they kind of hurt my stomach after a while. Like how many French fries can one person, you know what I'm saying? Is that a dinner party? I mean, come on.

Put some tater thought into your tater tot. You know what I'm saying? Don't tell her I said that. That's okay. I'm already planning on bringing her a pot full of fries. So then walking, it's just like, you know, walking into that dinner, I hadn't seen you in a long time and I felt like you'd really ice me and like we went from speaking every day to you vanishing. And so I don't tell, it talks about how her husband's sister was sick. So he went back to America and then she was in a bad place because her husband was gone for a month and she was, and when you called me that day in the morning and said, you've

been invited to San Barry, but you haven't been invited by San Barry because she thinks you're not important to whatever. I was like, I need space because I'm going to my own stuff. Like for the first time my whole life, I had an anxiety attack. I felt rather, what is the word? A basic anxiety. Yeah, but as a friend, you could have told me that. I had no idea.

And then she now tells us, I'm sick of friends who say you didn't call me. So now we have issue. But you didn't call me girl. It's a two way street on me. That's why there's a left and a right. You go left or you go right or you go in the straight line and meet in the middle and we don't go in the middle of the street. A girl in my village who went in the middle of the street, dead, verbatim. Listen, a two-way street, you don't, if you're on a two-way street, you actually specifically don't wanna meet in the middle.

You wanna, you want those cars to glide right by each other. I think the aim is not to make contact with the other car. And also I think she's kind of describing an intersection more or less. She's like, oh, it's left and right, up and down, inside, outside, circular square. Like, you're, okay, you're this not.

But she's the elastic. I loved it. Well, not enough to remember it apparently, but she's like, I see you flip flock by building climber. Yeah. That's scraping the sky. Sky scraped. So, so Brooks was saying that she was like, you know, it was me who said that you weren't important of Caroline Never said that I was just making a joke and Lisa's like, well, why would you say that about your friend?

She was it was banter. Okay. I think she, you know, I think that Caroline invited who was important to her And that's what I said was me, you know, it's like me saying FUB versus fuck you bitch like there's a difference, you know And I am like well, we have this relationship, you know, me and her, like sisters. Who calls someone at seven in the morning to piss them off? Have not peed! Have not had coffee! Let me pee first, girl! I got to pee the left.

Do that right? In the center? So, Brooks is like, you know, I should have thought better, like I should have thought better, like not to like make a joke when a friend is excluded, which is what you were, you were excluded, you were not invited to a yacht. That's what happened to you, you were not part of it. Some might say you were not important enough, I will not say that because I know it's hurtful, but you are basically like, it was an A and B party and so you had to see your way out of it. So I apologize, I really do apologize for that.

Really sorry. I mean, in front of the fact that you're not important enough to be invited anywhere. That was awkward, Wes. My God. You're important enough to me. Unfortunately, not to care a lot of still, but I'm not making a joke about it. That would be bad. I mean, evidently, you're not important enough to be able to gain access to the Likusay store, which is why we have this shitty stockpot that you brought these lemons in, but you know, you're important to me. You're important to someone, I'm sure. And I am like, well, everybody I've known, out of everybody I've known her longer, and I felt single-noped. I felt like it was done purposely. And at least it's like, yeah, she's quite calculated. And Brick says, yeah, well, don't you want to be the bigger person and they both go no

Why does she have to be the bigger person and Ion's like she's 50. I'm still a child. I'm a child I'm baby so Lisa's like well that was a shift he move on her part So she needs to come apologize to Ion if she wants forgiveness from Ion because Ion is not gonna go to her to get forgiveness when it's her who should be apologizing. Nah.

All right, all right, you two. I do think it was Shitty of Stambury to not include people on the first group party of the new season, but you know, that's Stambury. There you go. But I mean, that's like that is the conundrum of having friends who are always drama or high maintenance because sometimes with things you're like, I'm just not gonna invite them because then it does become all about them and I don't want to deal with it and then they find out

and then they become the dramatic thing and then it's like, then you're like, well, this is why you weren't invited and then they get more angry And it's just a terrible, terrible negative feedback loop of drama on their part. And then finally, you just kind of have to like stroke their ego until they're back to normal again. Right. But this is a housewives show. And Stanberry is really miscalculating care.

Okay. She's trying to like put this woman on the outs who's the fan favorite probably. I mean, I guess you could probably say by now. This, I think she's definitely a really fan favorite. So she's miscalculating on there. So she's most calculating on there, she's excluding someone from the first day of shooting, and then she's trying to extend it by pulling moves

of like not showing up to people's events and not being in group scenes, which kills the group scene. It just kills a whole vibe of housewives. Like if you're gonna do this, fucking do it. You lazy ass. Don't come here and just do it on your terms. This is a real housewives show.

So the fuck up for work, Caroline. Yeah, it's not gonna work out well for her. I think by the end of the season, a lot of the good will that everyone has for Caroline's Dan right the way that people love her from ladies of London. I think it's gonna go away. Yeah, I think it's already, I don't think she's gotten up hillbathled

the rest of the season personally. Cause she, by the way, she was not great in the last season of Ladies of London. She was kind of like annoying that season. She was pulling the same moves, not going to things. It's the diva thing. The moment that someone, you know, refuses to film with other people, they go downhill. Like, the only time that somehow has worked out is on Salt Lake City when like Meredith

Marks or like Mary Cosby, like when Mary Cosby refused to film, it was somehow like very funny, but like really no one else, no one else had been able to pull it off and survive. And also Mary Cosby didn't even survive. Yeah, and also it's the thing where you're the asshole to everybody, like Caroline Stambury is the one being the asshole,

but if anybody stands up to her, that's when she runs away and she won't do it. It's like she can be the asshole, but if anybody stands up to her, that's when she runs away and she won't do it It's like she can be the asshole, but if anybody stands up to her, she's done and that's what she's doing here Like she won't go because she knows she's gonna be confronted about something. It's like, that's not how it works Yeah, come to work with portion Portia and you need also pull the same moves like the mom it's like the moment that people think that they can at least Evander pump when it's like, oh, you're gonna call this you You're gonna call the shots. No, you don't get to call the shots. That's not fair

The producers get to but you don't need to so Brooks is like well Lisa and I on it always team up together And that's what they do. They're like yin and yang are like rinse and be your dumb and dumb are Pinky in the brain can't wait to see what they're gonna do Lisa's the brain and pinkyinky is definitely Ion. It's time for commercial. It's time. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,

from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now we go to Sarah at a photo shoot. She's like, you know I'm a business woman, but I've been a business woman since the age of 15 and I was a fashion designer for 20 years.

Okay, I ran a zoo for 45 years. I own 16 tech companies. I also do NFTs and TFNs, which are like NFTs, but I just reverse the letters. Okay, so I do that too. And I have skincare and I care for skin. Also, I found a shoe and I gave it a job and now that shoe runs a Fortune 500 company.

So I guess I do a lot. Yeah, Sarah, I can't. So I guess I do a lot. Yeah, Sarah, I can't. So Sarah's like, yeah, well, my team has secured covers for me in Europe and the Western world. So today I'm doing a photo shoot for disruptive women in technology and the reason I'm disruptive, tattoos, I'll take it.

People don't like it, but I'll take it. Now they can't see them because I'm covering up my skin most of the time, but that is my choice. Not because that's what is expected of me, because you know what is not expected of me? Tatus. Repper! I am such a disruptor.

I even disrupt the way, you know, covers are shot for magazines, because I decided I would have one photographer and I would not have the magazine shoot the cover. I would have my photographer shoot it in the back of an office. Okay, that is a disruptor. So she's talking about how she's judged by everybody forgetting. She's one of those people that does it just to be rebellious and then it's like, oh yeah, judge me all you want. You know, she's like, I got tattoos. And now I'm judged for my tattoos.

You know, they judge me, but they get their eyebrows tattooed, but they judge my shoulders. But that thinking is being diluted now. Dubai, a woman can do whatever she wants with no judgment. So then she's posing for the photographer and she's like, show my tattoos. I don't care what anybody thinks. She poses like this, like with a forearm out, like, yeah, tattoo. So that was like the big Sarah's, you know, the episode. And then we go over to Caroline and now at the Med Spa with Brooks.

And Brooks is like, oh my god, I love this place. You've been here. No, I'm just, I mean, I see your face on it. So I just had to see my love. There's been TVs all over the waiting room of Caroline's face. I'm, hello, it's me, Caroline. This hospital is so good, it's made me almost smile. Would you like, would you like the Caroline treatment where we freeze your fat cells with my face? I'm cool.

We have a new treatment here, where we freeze fat cells and inject them into my daughter while she's sleeping, so she'll wake up terribly horrified, very fun, better than scrabble in my home. I've been a brand spokeswoman for this place for years. I love Nora, I love Facials, I love Seaweed in my veins.

Once they injected pink, then into my toes and my knees looked like a 20 year old straight weeks. My throat fell out, but they nailed it right back in. Botox fillers, I've been skinned like a chicken and had all my epidermis replaced. I'm not sure what my new skin came from, but it's resistant to fire and gets due even a storm is coming.

Caroline, use discont. Caroline, check out. So, um, so Brooks is like, look, I don't knock her hustle, but it's a little bit too much. She's not that influential. I'm like, well, what meds spas are you on a brochure for miss Brooks? Drugs friend to nobody. I know she's really good. They're like, we need to cast somebody. He's just an asshole to everybody.

It does not care. The bruh. No one really likes, and she doesn't really like an- Right. So, well, the person to ask about plastic surgery is Sarah. Sarah knows the head to the toe, the Ruta to the Tuta about plastic surgery is Sarah. Sarah knows the head to the toe, the ruda to the tuda about plastic surgery.

So she's basically saying like, yeah, Sarah's all fake and then she goes, amazing. I'm like, you don't get to save it by saying amazing at the end as if it were a compliment, okay? What are you from, Texas? Then I love that they cut to a picture of Sarah with her. She's like,

oh my gosh, I know, it's old photo. Oh, but I love that they cut to a picture of Sarah with her. She's like, Oh, it's old photo. So funny. So Brooks is like, oh my God, do you need a hand? You're getting that thing on your face. What is that even doing? I'm intrigued. So anyway, I went to lunch at Scolini with Lisa and I on, and we tried to get to the bottom of the situation where they misploded me. And basically it turned into them saying, you're a horrible human being, they hope you die, and you better apologize before you do, or you're gonna burn me into the channel, how?

What do you think of that? Hell will Carolina over first. I'm sorry, hell will freeze over first. And she's like, Lisa is like a nut to me. Whether I owe someone an apology or not from a fight I'm having with that person is none of her business. And she needs to pipe down.

So then her friend Michael comes in for no reason. I'm not really, it's not explained. Caroline's just like, I need a gay person on this. I became very popular because of my gay friend Luke. So I'm gonna need another gay and Luke, unfortunately, is busy. So casting older gay. Do we have an older gay who has necklaces? Rich, use him.

So Michael comes and he goes, oh, well, they told me that Caroline was here. I didn't know there'd be two. And he just throws confetti in the air. So... LAUGHTER Well, one Caroline tells everybody she's 43, but she's really 67. All right. This is someone try Luke again, please.

Really working for me. Hey, Caroline, why does he have a box around him? Oh, that's just this thing. He likes to pretend he's center square all the time. So, Caroline, they joke with Brooks, because she starts getting that stomach thing. I don't know. It's supposed to be like a year of working out or whatever in two seconds.

Whatever that thing is. So she's like, oh my God, this is eating white stomach. And Caroline's like, why would you tell the girls? I said that thing. Turn it up. Turn it up. Yeah. Yeah. More vibrations, more torture, okay?

More. Brace like I would rather just have flab. I couldn't think of anything worse than this right now. She's like, ha ha ha. Your pain is my comedy, ha ha. So now we go to Caroline at home with her, her man Sergio. And it's like this dog is terrible. We might have to leave her on someone's doorstep.

He's like, I will leave you before I leave Seagost. Could someone call the panther, tell them we have dinner for it. Both the dog and you, Sergio. Goodbye. So then we get a taste of the loving, supportive, sanberry family. So you guys being cum sum and Sergio search just like how was your day? How was Suci? And she's like, um, yeah, we had Suci. He like Suci, do you search, yeah, he's like, yeah, I like Suci. She's like, yeah mom, he like Suci.

Seishis. Seishis. Seishis. Seishis. Oh my god. he can't even say she is. That's not Carol like us. Say wood. But that's not how to do with not being able to say the S's in the English way. They just mark him. Caroling goes, when I first started dating Sergio, of course, my kids were essentially resistant because no matter who comes in, it was not about anything, but that one day I would return to their father.

But Sergio was literally jumped through hoops as in I set up hoops. In the living room, Lithym and Fire and told him you had to jump through them, and he did. And then we still made fun of him, and that was really what made him part of the family. Being the punching bag for all of us on fire to the children going to somebody else's country and then making fun of them how they speak. It's good old family fun. Sergio jump, jump. He's like see. Sergio, balance this tea cup on top of your head with an asparagus and a shoebox too. Good. Okay, five minutes starts right now.

Kids watch, throw eggs at him. Great, wonderful, part of the family now. So they're talking about expo, something called expo. Sergio's like closer to the kids age, she said. So they're basically big brother energy with him. So he's going to take them to Expo and they won't let Caroline come And she's like and the sun's like you're embarrassing. You're embarrassing mom. You can't come She's like the thousands of people that how am I gonna be embarrassing and yes means like everything he does a bad thing mother

and and My dad. And, and, and, and, yeah, and basically she's like, she's basically like, Caroline's like, what's her, do you think you're 22? No, he tells her that. He goes, do you think you're 22, honey? And you're not. I was like, oh, wow. That makes much more sense.

I will, I do have to say, I mean, Sergio's 28 and I'm all for Caroline having a boy toy, or as I say, a broad toy boy. But Sergio, I mean, he's 28, but he kind of reads as a young 28, like 28 going on 20 if you ask me, like isn't, I'm still trying to figure out this relationship a little bit.

And while I'm old, so 28 does seem young to me. You know, I'm like, wow, 28, is that legal? It's not like, you know, there's some people who are like, they're 28, but they really have like, they're an old soul. They're really like a 43 year old. But then with him, I'm sort of like, mm, I think it's sort of a young soul. Yeah.

So Caroline's like, well, so I'm not going to expert big deal. What are you going to do without me? And he's like, we're going to have Boise Day. I have to on a Boise Day. And she's like, well, I have the day off then I don't care. I'll have a salt bath and scrub my bunny or something. They're like, you mother, you see what I said in balancing. So we're over at Lisa's and the goats there.

It's alive and well, not shooting everywhere for the moment. And Lisa tells her kids that she's going to go to the fashion show. The kids could not be more... The kids are annoyed because they've been put into matching shirts just to do a scene where they hug their mom and say, think you're out on the fashion show mom. So the nanny comes and she heads out. And Lisa says, this is gonna be the first maternity fashion show that Dubai has ever had

from the world's number one maternity brand of all time. Yeah, she really knows how to sell it. I mean, I'll give her that because I was like, is that true? And it is me in a road the biggest maternity company in the world, but I believe it all, you know, I believe everything. So I'm like, is that true? And it is mean a road the biggest maternity company in the world, like I believe at all. I believe everything. So I'm like, say no.

So then Chanel's getting there. And you know, she's running everything because she owns a modeling company. I don't know that we mentioned that, like a model agency. So she's like running it all and like running the agents. And so everything Lisa says, Chanel just repeats it.

She's like, oh my God, people need to get in here and make up. You need to get some hair and make up, rock not basic. You know, she just does it in more of a yelling way. The Baytown. So then, um, Chanel asks who's going to be coming today. And Lisa's like, well, everybody confirmed except your best friend. And she knows like, no. And Chanel does actually look like her feelings are hurt. It's just so weird. I can't really figure Chanel out. But if she's acting, she's doing a good job. So I'm like, wow.

Yeah. It's like your feelings are hurt, but all you wanted to do was yell at her. So I kind of thought you're feeling hurt that you didn't get to yell at her? I'm confused. Probably. Yeah, she felt like the scene was taken away from her.

And then three hours earlier, Caroline had texted Lisa saying, sadly, I can't make it today, but I know you weren't expecting me. The wedding is kind of crazy right now. So it was like a passive aggressive decline because she's being like, you didn't want me there anyway. And this is like, I never said that. Yeah, she was like, well, why wouldn't I be expecting it?

Well, she doesn't know that Brooks went straight to Stambury because you know, Brooks called Stambury right after that. I was like, we need to meet up immediately. I need to tell you why to hate them more. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So at least says like, you know what? My fashion show is the number one event happening in Dubai. It's been on everyone's calendar for months. So you texting me the day of, the day of,

and telling me you're unable to make it. I'm like, I'm not sure this fashion show is really on the number one thing that's been on everyone's. I think probably that book in that room at the hotel is probably the number one thing that's been on people's calendars, but. So she knows like, honestly, I think the reason she's not supporting you is because of me.

And she just makes me feel really bad because this is a big moment for you Big moment and she's like, well, this is the problem we are having with her is that she's singling you out again Here's she doing it again, and so she's like, well, she probably thinks not showing up is gonna sink or float this boat But paid followers does not bring Lisa any coins. So I hope your wedding planning is going well. Yeah. So then it's the now time for the fashion show and people are arriving and you know, Lisa's getting her hair done. The other girls are in the front sitting on a sofa and Nina is just like trying to get fries. Like that's all she wants. The waiter's coming

by with or der'oeuvres and she's like, do you have any vegetarian options? Like any french fries? French fries, make it happen. Make it happen. I'm really trying to ground my children. Really try to make sure they're not spoiled and they don't know who's doing that.

Who does that? Demand things even if they're not offered. Make it happen, make the french fries happen. Make it happen. Yeah, that's her thing. Like french fries are my personality now. She mentions French fries 30 times. So, I mean, have fun with that.

Hobebe Monaco's doing a Bingup job at this episode. She's like, they gave her less of a budget for Dubai. So she's singing all the voices herself. She's like a one woman Hobebe in this one. So she's like, we're gonna spend this money. Time and rings and pretty things. We're gonna spend this money. Time and rings and pretty things. We're gonna spend this money.

Has the sand balls and I was like trick. I'll be, we know it's you. Okay. I think like a weird high voice. So funny. So yeah, Nina's like, make my fries happen. So Sarah comes and Nina's like, yeah, well guess what? I'm waiting for french fries.

You know what I said? Make it happen. That's what what I said? Make it happen. That's what I told them. Make it happen. Okay, Mariah. So then Brooks is like fashion in Dubai is incredibly important. We have Paris, we have New York, we have Milan, and we have Dubai.

That's the fashion scene of the world. I was like, I don't know, don't know about that. But Brooks is like, these things, accomplishments are beyond Sarah's. I was like, oh, I used to run fat. I used to, what, about 30 fashion companies? You ever heard of overalls? I invented them. So I know it's madness back there.

Yeah, she must be going crazy because listen, I know as a fashion designer, you know what you see out here You see just excellence and tastefulness, but let me tell you back there. It's war It's war for any of those of you who have never heard about anything from fashion. Let me assure you backstage Just crazy No, it gives you never seen any fashion show documented on any right media. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial So then um backstage Lisa's like oh my god, we're missing a belly. Why did where's the extra belly? We need a belly and she's like belly basic, where's belly basic? Who stole the fucking belly?

I need a belly verbatim right now I don't need to be going left right and meeting the center I need the belly right now so Nina's like well French fries you know um today her line hopefully is gonna be made out of French fries that's what I'm hoping and they're like yeah well you know she's expanding her line and I'm glad we're here to support her and they're like yeah I'm glad we're here to support her. And they're like, yeah, I'm glad we're here to support her. Don't, don't, don't. Kind of all shading Caroline for not being there.

And then it cuts to Caroline and she's telling Sergio, well, I'm not sad I'm missing it. I would like to support Lisa, I suppose, but I just don't have the energy for all the damage, you know? And I might do damage if I'm messed with right now. And then, yeah, she calls them her wicked step-sisters and then meanwhile Sergio's like making tacos or something she's well, I want burger. Sergio, say burger, say burger. Okay, now one foot in the air,

say burger. Hold this plate, burger, B-U-R-G-E, you can't even say burger. It's ridiculous. And hilarious. So the meaner back at the fashion show. It's like oh my god french fries are coming. I see french fries Those are not french fries. Oh god those aren't french fries. This is Nina's what what the mean is Okay, Nina enough I do want to know what did arrive in a french fry container because that was kind of funny like like you're come to french fries like No, it's, it's not much. I like, I just, I like to think it was just like a roll of panties or something or Dubai.

Yeah. Just change or I don't know. She's like, I'm a simple person. I've been to Corpus Christi and French fries are good and they're satisfying and they're cheap and they're everywhere and I'm craving fries now, make it happen. So then rich. By the way, I love how she's Nina explaining

French fries to all of us who've never even heard or tasted them before. Like really, French fries are everywhere and they're cheap. You're trying to relate to four people, us, the audience. It's like she's looking at everybody else as being poor but she's trying to relate to us by explaining what poor shit is, like we know. And also be kind of like,

this is the high-local truth thing and she's trying to be funny too. Like, like, oh my God, it's, I'm trying to think of an example. For some reason, I can't think of any, but where there is that someone who's so fabulous, but they just love this, like, one thing. Like, like, Jell-O-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L Like, like, Jell-O-L. I think she's trying to pull a Lisa Barlow, like Diet Coke and Taco Bell.

There you go. Of a Lisa Barlow is sort of like, that's not a, Lisa Barlow is not, there's no, there's no huge like, juxtaposition between, like, high-low culture Lisa Barlow, like her having Diet Coke is like very much on par with what I would imagine.

Right, but at first it wasn't, because at first it was like look at all these rich, fabulous people, she's like, I just want Diet Coke. Like that was her thing, you know? All she talked about was Diet Coke, and I need to get my Diet Coke and Diet Coke, Diet Coke, and I think she's taking a page from that book, and it's just like try hard.

It's try hard Nina. So then Rich the husband is in answer and he's also smart. He's like, welcome to our 2020 fashion show. I'm very honored to be the host, especially since I'm not allowed to do anything, but pay the bills on my right ladies. And everyone's like, titter, titter, titter, titter. It's like very lukewarm, you know. Make it happen, make it happen.

Can we just get some fries for this lady in the front row? I was like, what a gracious speech. So then they start and backstagely says, like, oh my god, where's the light? Where's the light? She knows like, fast off, fast off, light, light. Yeah, and it's like, it's the standard Bravo fashion show experience, which is that there's pandemonium backstage,

everything's crazy, and then the fashion show is perfectly fine as usual. And when she tells one of the girls who's going out, she's like, oh my god, those shoes don't work. Okay, you know what, take those shoes off and put my shoes on. And the model goes, but I'm not gonna feel as confident. Take your fucking shoes off. This is a paid gig.

Well, it feels confident. You shouldn't feel confident. Never. Yeah. So, yeah, so it's fine. That's a very nice fashion show actually. I was like, this is actually one of the better fashion shows we've seen on Bravo.

I mean, there was no color, but like outside of Project Runway, like from a real housewise fashion show, I thought it was pretty good. I mean, certainly better than like Alexis Balino Couture or whatever that was called or anything we've seen from Posh or... It was a fashion show by someone who actually creates fashions. What a weird idea. It was a fashion show by someone who actually creates fashions. What a weird idea. It was totally crazy. Yeah. I've really blocked out all the other fashion shows. Oh, so she knows like, Olivia, I need fast girl.

Fast girl. Oh my god. Freaking out. And so they do the walks and everything looks pretty good. And Lisa's like, I'm the kind of girl. If you tell me I can't do something, I'm going to do it. Without the validation of others, I don't do something, I'm gonna do it. Without the validation of others,

I don't need that. I did it myself and I'm amazing. And my husband's money. So then, yeah, she's proud of herself. I mean, it's good. She should be proud of herself. And now it's, let's party. It's after party.

And Nina's like, can I get some fries? Can I still get some fries? Come on, I'm really trying to create a personality right now and you guys are really making it hard for me right now. She just makes me happy. Make me happy to the waiter. Oh, anybody who's ever waddy table knows this person and we all hate her. My congratulations Nina, you've just got an entire world of servers hating your ass right

now. Congrats. And then you finally get Sir Fry's because, okay, but now can I get some ketchup? So then... And Brooks goes, oh my god, are there French fries after an hour and a half? Yes, they don't serve French fries. Now you're going to complain about how long they took. It's like, okay, I don't know if you guys understand how catering works, there was an order that was placed for the food that's gonna be there.

And French fries were not part of that menu. So yeah, anyway, so basically, she gets her fries and then it gets sort of like, things like settle down and get kind of quiet. And everyone sort of looks at Nina and she's, because they're kind of like so what's the deal with Caroline? That's what the eyes are like who's gonna start talking shit about Caroline, right? But what they're all congratulating her Brooks is just such an asshole. Everything Brooks says sounds like it's a mean You know she goes oh my god that collection. Oh wow, all those white dresses.

Wow. And Lisa's like, yeah, well, it's been a maternity brand for so many years. So they're like, girl power, girl power. So good when you have all your friends supporting you, right? Yeah, I think great when all your friends are here. Yeah, it's great to have supportive friends who are here. And then they all just stare at each other. And so, Brooks is like, okay, well, you know, we're all here.

And I feel bad that Caroline's not here. I really feel terrible. She would have really loved all of these dresses that look the same in the same color. So... Yeah. And Nina's like, well, I think that the wedding stuff has her like very overwhelmed

and we just got to Carolina at home popping champagne with Sergio. Making him jump through hoops again, little hoops. So I on, I on's like, well, it's because I'm sitting here and you already know that verbatim. Hmm, basic, okay. And Rich comes over and he's like, hey ladies, baby, you killed it, you were amazing. All I'm hearing at the bar is amazing, amazing. You've got a lot of orders coming, honey. I'm so proud of you.

They're like cheers, cheers, people. And I was like, all right, you know, this is where I was kind of annoyed with Caroline because this scene is all about you. Like you can't make everything all about you and then not show up to have the episode be about you. Like what are you doing? Yeah, that was supposed to be that was that was supposed to be a climactic moment and they didn't have anything to do because they killed the episode lady and

showed up. He killed the episode. Not cool. Yeah. So we've been at this rodeo before and it is not end well. Yeah. So next time they finally do get Caroline there and It's she makes an ass out of herself, so that's fine Yeah Something to look forward you know in a lot of band. Oh, so to even make it better. So yeah, it looks like it'll get there Yeah, so anyway, thanks everyone for being here for watching and for listening and we'll be back next week with a whole new slate of recaps, so we'll look forward to seeing you

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