Watch What Crappens - RHODubai: Desert Flower Power

Episode Date: June 3, 2022

There's a new Real Housewives in town, and that town is Dubai. The money! The opulence! The really high structures with glass floors that send children into panic attacks! We're in. This week's bonus is a trailer breakdown of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: Ex Wives Club Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello and welcome to Watch Rock Rock Rock and the podcast for all that crap. We love to talk about Honky O'Brawls. I'm Ronnie, that's been over there. Happy noon. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good. What? How are you?

You always take a pause after I say hi, Ben. Keep going. Well, I was drinking what? Hi Ronnie, he was water. Now you know. Hi, Rob. He was like, now you know all the times I like, I wrap up something and you're like, sorry, I was vaping. I thought you were going to talk for 10 more seconds.

Vaping is an addiction. How dare you come for me. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. We're in a loopy place today. And it's just how it's gonna stay But it is a very Celebratory day because not only are we here together not only are we here together with you? We are here together

To welcome in a new Bravo baby the real housewives of Dubai Dubai be it's a Bravo Dubai baby Dubai. Dubai B. It's a Bravo Dubai B. Dubai B. It's Shoriz being. Really? Welcome to the, welcome to the block Dubai. Wow. So excited to have a new housewives. So excited. It's in a different place with so many different people from so many different places. Now, we do have to warn you for those of you who have not listened to this show before. We are ignoramuses, okay? We do terrible imitations and terrible accents on this show. That's how we enjoy our time, okay? That's how we enjoy spending our time.

So don't get offended, none of these accents will be correct. And even to get them partially correct, it's going to take weeks and weeks. So today we're just going to sound completely cuckoo. Yeah, we're trying, we're actually trying to imitate these people. We're not trying to say this is what they sound like. We're just trying our best. And so, you know, you know, that's, that's part of the fun for us is just seeing like every week, getting slightly closer and closer and closer, but not actually getting closer at all. But trying, trying our best. Yeah, getting closer to at least, oh, I've heard of it. But it's gonna take a while and God,

I mean, I had someone's name wrong, the entire show. I had to go back. I'm sure I didn't correct them all, but I had to go back, you know, it takes a while to get into these, but Man, it sure could have a hard. It was hard because they refer to themselves by their last names and their first names at different times

because I feel like since there's two car lines on the cast, the producers said, all right, everyone, refer to Caroline Sanbury as Sanbury and refer to Caroline Brooks as Brooks. And then they're like, okay, and then we'll just call Chanel Ion or Ion or I forgot how you say her last name. And then they call Chanel. Or like they said name and then the same thing called Chanel or like said

Then they start doing it to everyone and I'm like oh my god. I'm just trying to keep up with everyone's names And then they show one lady at the beginning named Sarah who has a bunch of talking heads and then you never see her again until the end I'm like an hour. Yeah like an hour. Yeah. You know, see it till the end. And I was like, wait a minute. So that's one, that's one of the ladies from the beginning. I remember. So I went back to the beginning. And I saw the name Sarah, no, her name is Sarah, right? I saw the name of Nina or something. So I went and called her Nina the whole way through. Oh, God, idiot. Yeah. So you know, it's the beginning of a new study, it's the point.

We'll probably give everyone the wrong names. That's over some point of this hour and change, but you know, whatever. We'll do our best, okay? So it starts off with Sarah herself saying, like she's like, you know, I'm blessed that I grew up in Dubai, and I saw Dubai before it ever became Dubai.

And then we see like images of Dubai in the 60s when it was nothing. And then it's now Dubai. Dubai, the Dubai, we all know from all of our Apple TV screen savers. And so it's like, because that's like, that's really like, I know everything I know about Dubai comes from my Apple TV watching Impossible, and commercials for the airline. But other than that, I don't know much about Dubai. And Housewives. Oh yeah, all the trips.

All the good, do housewives trips. Yeah, we get to see a lot of those places. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We see it from Housewives trips. But yeah, every time I see Dubai pictures and stuff, I think, wow, they really support Phillips you over there.

They love the Phillips you because the city turns into all these different colors at night, you know. Yeah, it's like a lot of Bellagio fountains, a lot of funky architecture. Oh, I remember actually in the amazing race they went there and there was like an indoor ski slope. There's a lot of crazy stuff in Dubai, there's bonkers. There's a lot of money in Dubai.

So she says, yeah, I've been in Dubai since it started, and I'll be in Dubai when it ends. I was like, damn. Oh, damn. Damn. Damn. Starting with a total view of the world as like, it's gonna end, but I'm still gonna fucking be here.

And I like it. That's either a testament to the fountain of youth that is various new age remedies or just really predicting that Dubai has only maybe about two more decades left in it. All right, I may die, but my fillers will live on in this very sand. So now everything's all high rises and everything's beautiful.

And she tells us that only 12% of the local population makes up due by the rest or expats. And she's like, forget the new Middle East. This is the new world. Yeah, I think that was a Caroline B. AKA Caroline Brooks, who's like, it's the new world. I was like, okay, relax. And then we see Sarah, and then she comes back to Sarah,

and she goes, now that I look at my life, would I ever live anywhere else? Hell, no, wait a second, there's a place that's only 80 degrees. Okay, I'll consider that. I'll consider it. And she's like, I look at my life and then they show we're on a four-wheeler. I'm like, whoa, yeah, we don't do that anywhere else.

Okay. So good for you. And then we get Arabic, Trixie Monacoel, who I have to say, I'm so glad they flew Trixie out for this show because I love the songs. I'm loving all the music on this. I love the music and all the shots. Yeah, and it's very Trixie monical where she takes one phrase and just repeats it over and over like she doesn't try and confuse you with like catchy lyrics. It's like find three words and say them over and over and it's just to a new beat you know and this one is unleash the beast Bale na unleash the beast Bale na unleash the beast Bale na unleash the beast Bale na and I loved it I want a recording of that and we have Chanel Ion I'm sorry sorry is it Ion or Ion a.n. what are the Ion.N. I think it's I.N. I'm going to call her Chanel today.

And I lock it in. It's a it's kind of pronounced like I.N. But there's an end at the end. I.N. I thought it was A.N. Maybe it's. I'm going to say what do I know? And next week I'll have a good.

I'll have I'll have a keep better years out. Okay. So she's like everywhere you look is gold, gold, gold. And there's lots of gold diggers. There's lots of gold diggers here too. And then it just shows her in a mall, prancing, she's like, has bags, like she's just reenacting pretty women,

like she walking down her day of the drive. She's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's like skipping along. I was like, lady, you've been to a mall before, surely. I hope, I hope. She's just been ridiculous. She's skipping around in front of the Cartier store and like a leather dress with feathers up and down the sleeves.

And she's like, I got shoes. And because she's not wearing any shoes. And she gets her own song. And I love that about this show too, that we've come up with 15 songs and everybody gets their own opening song. Because here's this. It's fantastic. It's fantastic.

It's fantastic. It's fantastic. And Chanel is... She wears me out first and foremost. She's kind of like Gen Shaw on Salt Lake City when we first came to Salt Lake City. Like that one person who tries really hard who's like studied reality TV. So she's so extra. And she's like, she's like, come to Dubai. Say the money, Habibi, but whoever comes here, don't try to steal my

star because I'm the star. I'm the star. I'm the star. Okay, you know what? This is too much. This is too much. I'm not only star in this city, baby. I liked it. You know, they came out with a there was some article that was like the real housewives to Dubai pick their favorite housewives and almost all of them had least savander prom and you know whoever. But she had Jen Shaw and herself. Yeah. She chose herself and Jen Shaw. Here's the difference. I think Chanel is like fabulous. Like she's a model, she's fabulous and crazy where I think Gen Shaw tries that act and it doesn't work for me at all.

But I think that Chanel's not pretending. I think Chanel really is this person. She just happened to find a way to, she found an outlet. I'm gonna love her season two. Like she's 100% the person I hate season one and then season two, I'm like she is A bright thing. Like the ones that I have a visceral reaction against are the ones that I go the hardest

for starting in season two. So she just has to go through this. So you know, just let me have it. Go through it. And then you can have it. Yeah. And then it cuts to Caroline's Danbury and she's just like staring at herself in a mirror like what has happened to my life. What am I doing? And then it cuts to Caroline's Danbury and she's just like staring at herself in a mirror like

What has happened to my life? What am I doing? I'm only staying for this ridiculous show Like she just looks so unhappy She still has her pissy face, but she's coming in with this new attitude like I'm so different now She's like anything is possible in Dubai. People come here to reinvent themselves. In England, I was a cold bet with control issues and here I'm a cold bet with control issues in the sand. See? I've been here for six years now and I love the opportunities I have here to boss people around. In America, I'm one in a million, even though I never shot a show in America, but just in case you were wondering if I went to America, I'm one in a million, even though I never shot a show in America,

but just in case you were wondering if I went to America, I'm one in a million, but here, I'm one of one. Get me a coffee, please. But she does keep saying America. Like, in America, this, or in America, that, and she, I didn't realize she lived for that long in America. I mean, maybe, I mean, she would want to? Most of, I mean, she's in anigma, that's what we have to say. So then a producer is like, well, we now we see Nina, who to me is like,

if someone took Penelope Cruz and Mixer with Deandra Simmons and the producers like, so most people think women in Dubai are submissive and she's like, oh, well, they obviously haven't been to Dubai. And we see that this is Nina Ali and she's a mommy influencer. So that's something to look forward to.

This, um, you think she looks like the Andrei? I didn't see that. I saw her and was like, that is my cousin. It's like literally all of my gorgeous cousins. It's like, they're two gorgeous, like for life, you know, she's so beautiful and she's Lebanese and from Austin. I mean, you know that I'm gonna, I've got a fan. I've got a fan for this one.

And I do. You have to. But the mommy influencer, yeah, that I was like, oh, good. I'm gonna have to learn about natural lollipop, you know, natural fucking popsicles or whatever from this lady. So I do not, I do not like and subscribe to that section of it, but I like the other parts of you. Yeah. I, I immediately thought of you when she said she was half Lebanese and had grown up in Austin. I was like, oh my god.

It's like, it's like, it's like my Ronnie. My Ronnie is now on the show. So it's go away, Ronnie. It's go away, go bank account, Ronnie. So she tells us that she has some of the most amazing, she also changes her voice. Did you notice that? Because in the first half of the episode, she's like, I have some of the most amazing, successful friends here where there's not really an accent, but then there's kind of an accent.

But then later, she's like, listen, we're not fighting in my party, right? We're not doing it. I like it. And she does have a little bit of the Heather DeBro Rasp. She does talk a little bit like this a little bit, you know? Yeah. So she's like, I have my friends are some of the most amazing, successful ladies in town. Lisa, I've known seven years and Lisa is best friends with Ion, but we do very well together. Caroline's Standberry and I are close, but it's a very different story

between her and the other two. And Sarah's new, but that woman can fit in anywhere. And then there's Brooks. Like, okay. And that's all we get is there's Brooks. So Brooks exists. So it yeah, and Brooks is like by way, Brooks is Caroline Brooks as we said before, but she goes, my closest friend, it depends on the day of the week. So she says, this is a city, because she's American. She's like, this is a city where you have to network and mingle and demand what you want. It's just like America, but just different tax bracket. I was like, no, you're not tax bracket, shaming us, how dare you.

And her song is, I got my money, I got my money, make me feel, I gotta get it. I was like, yes, and on a song, money makes me feel. Okay, money makes me feel feel I need money to feel. But now truth and television music, thank you, Trixie. Truly. And then we're gonna leave. Beaming Monica.

A baby. Yeah, baby. I'd like to be part of this, LeWan from Morocco. Yeah. So then Lisa, when we meet Lisa Malaj, because the most fire thing about Dubai is me. I'm like, hmm, probably not, but that's fine. She goes, it's a melting pot.

You know, it's filled with people from all walks of life. And the most amazing thing is that we all live in harmony. Well, some of us, like I guarantee you guys are definitely not living all in harmony. Yes. Probably just ask any of the amniliant servants we saw in the fringes of this entire episode. Yes, but you could definitely hire some people to sing in harmony around you. So I know you're written up the commercial. So then we get the opening and it's a tower being built from golden sand and Chanel's opening line is they don't hit me because I'm beautiful They hit me because they're basic. I was like oh, okay

These lines were I'm just gonna say right now these lines were maybe not the best we've seen it But they were funny because they were so like I don't know they just were aggressive They were delivered with such confidence. I loved it. They don't hate me because I'm beautiful. They hate me because they're basic. Like yes. Sarah goes, a woman should be two things.

Who and what she wants. And then Caroline Brooks is like, the desert is ruthless, but nothing is more savage than me. I'm more savage than a desert and then Lisa is the only thing you can take from me are notes. I was like, oh I like that one. I did like that one. And Nina says, if you think money can't buy you happiness, you clearly haven't been to Dubai. It can buy you sadness too. And then Caroline is in a city of gold. Nothing shines. Big brighter than me.

Clear. Valentina. Valentina, could you bring me something bright to put on my head so I can shine even brighter than myself? Oh is that impossible? I'm the brightest thing you can find. Very well then. Oh my lips parted.

I want to make sure that you see my teeth so people? I'm the brightest thing you can find. Very well then. On my lips parted, I want to make sure that you see my teeth. So people think I'm smiling. Can someone come part of these? Make sure that I can't feel them at the moment. They're parted, right? All right, you want to do that again. Does anyone have any hooks and fishing wire?

We need to hang the hooks from the ceiling and pull up the edges of my lips so I can give this alleged smile that people want. And then we see the duck of Dubai, the camel. Yes. We get our first camel shot. Yeah, Potomac has the deer, Beverly Hills has the duck, Dubai has the camel. It's great, great work.

And I thought, wow, this is a crazy way to open scenes like they're going to have all the ladies parade around in formal, like crazy formal wear in the desert. But it's not, it's just Chanel doing a modeling gig, but she's wearing this big gold headdress and she would go dress parading through the desert for a modeling shoot. Yeah. Yeah, she's doing this shoot and her suntage is there on the set and she's doing it and then she tells us she goes blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Samalian. You gondon. I'm a badass bitch English. Like oh. I'm telling you in four different languages. Now, how bad a, bad ass bitch I am.

Sonop. And then the fashion director guy is exactly what they are in cartoons. He's like, yes, beautiful. Love that. Got your gorgeous. Do it that way. Oh my god, that was beautiful. Jesus Christ, I'm just falling over with your building.

God dammit, you gorgeous. It was some of Fortune was some unfortunate beam service best work. I have to say So she's like okay second look time for second look and she tells us I'm the first black supermodel into by I've worked with Givenchy Amazon old Navy Vang Qi Amazon old Mavi how about Ben and Jerry's and she goes I'm the best there is period Dot Another dot and now I'm an ellipsis because I did the period in a dot. Yes. I'm trailing off Did you hear Siri? She just said I'm sorry. I don't have an answer for that TOOOOO! LOL

Siri just shated her. She's like, I'm sorry, and who you are? No, Siri! And the best, in the best. So then she has like a gate with a fan and like bleep blonde hair, who's like, it looks amazing. I thought you had a nose job actually. Look at your makeup. So beautiful. And she's like, where I could blow dry blow dry where I could know so in my village you think we have no shop we don't even have doctor in my village

leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber leber you got in go fuck yourself English snap so yeah so they were so basically she it's good to see that no matter where you are if you're a rich lady Wherever in the world you can always have gaze falling over you like that was reassuring for me to see that and So she's with she's with her son and she starts saying like that she's I'm a cool mother She's like I understand the motion. And your friends understand, he's upset, sorry, he's upset because his friends like her.

And she's like, but that's because I'm a cool mother who understands emotion. They tell me everything. Hi five, hi five. Mom, that's a fist bump. So be it. She tells us her story that she grew up in a small village in Kenya and she moved here

18 years ago with her husband and she's like, I didn't even know you could be modeled here. Then guy comes up to me and says, hey, you could be modeled. And then I started traveling around doing magazine, getting to know the people. I was like, wow, gorgeous people really do live this life, you know. We're just in the dam mall and someone comes up and they're like, you're a model now. Congratulations, here's the world. You know, I mean, one moment, you're just Kate Moss,

the girl walking around and the next moment, you're Kate Moss, the girl who did cocaine on that photo that people got mad about. Oh yeah, so, remember? Yeah, people like, oh my God, Kate Moss. Oh my God, cocaine. I can't believe a super model who is famous for pioneering the wafelook in the 90s does cocaine.

Well, she smokes cigarettes. I'm done with her. I'll tell you that right now. Is she drinking coffee a lot? Because that is unacceptable. So she's like, you know, I'm cool, Maam. When his dad is away, we go to movies. He doesn't have to go to school.

No one remembers what they hear in school. He will remember his mom taking him to a movie of our science. That'll do counting. Swahili. English snap. That's an interesting's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's.

That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's.

That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's.

That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's with my mom. And I also did a semester of New York Alphabet Mom too. Do you have a job that requires knowing everything about Marvel films because I've seen them all with my mom? Yeah. So then, I'll listen to this next song. Put your hands in the air. First floor, I got my crew.

Second floor, I have a party in the pool. What? Why, why? It's a pool on the second floor. Why? Why? Why, why aren't your friends in the pool on the second floor? If there's a party in the pool, why is your crew? Your crew sound stairs, but your pool's upstairs, and that's what the party is. Why are you and your crew on the more accessible level?

This is supposed to be fancy, and to have an elevator. That's how I need the song to end. Now I'm going into my funer's basement. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crack. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Epic's commercial. So now we're at Caroline's stand-berry, complete with tiny dog on her lap. And she's in bed. And she's like, oh bad dog, you just peed in my bed.

Don't look at me with that cute face, little bed, Pia. I'm just going to keep saying, pee in my bed until someone has the nerve to come in here and clean it off. Anyone? Nobody? Sergio. Sergio. Kercou just peed on the bed and then Sergio, her hot husband, who's like shirtless in a towel, just emerges out of nowhere. It's like, Oh, you. He's already started training his peeing on the bed.

That goes for both of you just so you know, I know what you did last night, Sergio. And she's like, for God's sake, should we order a drink? I'd like a peanut butter smoothie. How about you? And he's like, oh, with peanut butter.

He's like peanut butter sounds good. So she texts, can we have two peanut butter smoothies with collagen? What the hell? Were they out of stem cells? I mean, geez. Live it up. I know.

I just couldn't help but wonder if she was touching the same person That college was got her bloody marries from please send this over from Lakinta in California. I would like it in 20 minutes Thank you Look at us going through so much at one time Sergio. He's like, oh my god. I can't believe it You you are the love of my life the love of my life Sergio is really laying it on thick, okay? Every time you see Sergio, he's following her around, calling her the love of his life,

and trying to convince her of it. It's weird. It's a weird feeling. I feel like he's a con artist, but she knows he's a con artist and doesn't care. I don't care if he's trying to steal my money. He's too dumb to know. I've got three other bank accounts,

but he's got washboard apps, and that's all I really need. But I think he's rich as hell, right? I think he's too dumb to know I've got three other bank accounts, but he's got washboard abs and that's all I really need. But I think he's rich as hell, right? I think he's really rich. Yeah, I think so. Good for him. I mean, I don't know I think so, but then they start hinting around later in the episode that he's gay and this isn't arranged marriage now. Well, I don't know. I don't know if the man likes penises. I do know he loves teeth bleach. He loves it. I'm like, I hope you're never in a black light situation because that shit is blinding, sir. Yeah, I don't know if he likes penis or not, but I do know that like he, you know,

he is reminds me of many gay porn. I know all those gay porn where you're like, I want to peanut butter smoothie with collagen. That's like that's how it starts. He definitely looks like the guy in those movies where it's like, in those movies. He definitely is like, guy was like, my wife is out of town and I am so horny.

I just wish I knew what to do with myself. You know, like, he definitely gives that vibe off. Um, well, listen, I'm all for gay people. Happy Pride, everybody. Happy Pride. So Sergio is like, yeah, I can't believe how lucky we are. She's like, look at us. We have a wedding, we have the house, we're building.

If you think last year, I was going through a divorce thinking things were going to shit. And here I am in a piss bed with a hot youngster and a collagen smoothie. The only thing that could make it better would be if Friggin Julie was stop calling offering me balls from the Earl of Sandwich, like we get it, that was a different television show we had done with you. I moved here seven years ago with my husband and three children from my home, my business, and my life, and then I ended up getting a divorce five and a half years later. But since I moved here and changed my life, I'm an utterly different person.

I'm just so much funner, softer, gentler. I'm a cat that got the cream, and by cream I mean the guts of a rat who dared cross my doorway. I'm just softer and friendlier, where the hell is my human skin smoothie. Hehehe. How did I end up with you in my life? He's like, you, you're the love of my life.

Oh, do you believe me? He has his hand on his heart. He's like, you know that right? You know it, she goes, oh, I tear up every time you tell me. I just wish you wouldn't present us so weak. It's very unappetizing speaking of which this shake is disgusting. It tastes like split pee.

We're looking forward to it. Oh well. So really pee the bed on that one, didn't she? How many times do I need to say p'd the bed before someone changes his corked-out sheets? Kind Caroline. Soft to Caroline. Kind Caroline. One. Soft to Caroline. One moment. Hello Valentina. It's Caroline. Please tell Cheryl to change the sheets. What about Paulina? What about Paulina? Is she available?

No. No, someone's got it. No one's the amaze. Well, someone's got to do it and I'm not getting out of this bed until someone changes the sheets while I'm in them sitting in dog pee. Thank you.

Well, I guess I should learn how to say your name. How do we say it, darling? What is it? He's like, it's not, go to hell. It's not that hard honey. It's not that hard. Kara, Jo, she's like, Karejo, Qjo, Karejus, Qjo, I can't. Simply exhausted already. Can't carry on.

How about we just call you, you, as in you. Come over here you Change these pea sheets. Thank you So Nina is coming over and Nina brings her something and Caroline goes oh the famous fruit cake Yeah, Nina apparently likes a literal gift because the box says fruit cake. I was like, I got you a food cake. Okay. Good. I'm sick. Wow. Thank you for clearly labeling it. Fruit cake. Thank you, Nina.

Thank you. Is this part of your mommy influencing right now because it's influencing me to throw up on your face. Kind of softer. Kind of softer. I mean,'s like welcome back guys you look tan. I'm so jealous. You live in Dubai. How are you not all tan? You tan while you sleep in Dubai. Well I've known Nene since I've moved to Dubai. I thought, God, I'd love to boss her around someday. Didn't quite work out that way but you know she's really quiet. And by quiet I mean boring, boring and stupid but at least she doesn't try to sell me balls. She, we balls that you eat, stupid, jure. I thought because she was quiet, she said, judgy, judgy bear. So I gave her a chance. And

you know, it's like, yeah, I thought she was standoffish when I first met her. And then we see another housekeeper. There's so many housekeepers on this show. Now this is a below deck I can get behind. I wanna see what's happening with all the help on these shows. This show. Yeah, and Nina, I like that the whole thing is that Caroline's saying, oh, Nina was so boring and reserved when I first met her. I assume she's all judgy and Nina's like,

yeah, Caroline was so standoffish and rude. But so you're waiting for the butt. So this is Nina's like, yeah, Caroline was so standoffish and rude, so you're waiting for the butt, so this is Nina's butt, she goes, but now that I've gone to know her, we actually get along. It's like, oh, okay, well, that's exciting, you guys can tolerate each other now, congratulations. Totally. So Nina's like, well, you guys just got married,

so why are you doing another wedding? And Caroline's like, well, my parents would die if they couldn't come, and you remember, this is his first marriage. Carajudo. So, what's doing that, aren't we? Well, you know, I'm Jewish, he's Catholic, I'm divorced, we won't speak what he has going on, but anyway, so we had to go to Mauritius to get married and now we're back and I want

to throw a hen party. I was excited because at first I thought I'd get to throw hens off of a boat and watch them drown in the water, but then it turns out it's an actual thing we do with penis drawers, which we don't even have. Um, so she's saying, you know, I wouldn't have gotten married again, but with the age difference in everything, look at me, 43, you'd never know it, but he's 27 and so people think he's a toy boy. So this validates him. It validates him. So it's a good thing I'm doing, you know, helping him. I'm basically stamping his card, if you will.

The best part about being insanely wealthy is that you get to say toy boy and no one corrects you and say it says it's actually boy toy. No, actually over there it is toy boy. Wee is it really? Americans are the one who changed it just like they did meters. Well, I prefer boy toy and I'm going to exert my American agenda onto this television show. Thank you very much. Because in America, I'm not in a million, but here I'm one in a one. And in any language, I'm not an a million, but here I'm one in a one.

And in any language, I'm a batch. Bad news, mum. But they say it's boy toy. I don't care Valentina, I call them what I want. So let's see, they're talking about this henna that she's throwing and how she's gonna bring Sergio. And she's like, oh, he'll just love it. He loves being with the girls. Mean that's like, so he's like your husband, your best friend, and your girlfriend,

all in one. Yes, exactly. Three employees in one person. Three for one deal and they're not even on the payroll. It's wonderful. Three employees for the price of four employees teeth whitening bills. Really is fantastic. So now we go over to Lisa who is in her pool and her servants are wheeling out blocks of ice because it's so hot that they have to put ice in the pool to cool it down, which is crazy. I never even heard of that.

$1200 worth of ice, okay? $1200 worth of ice, are there hungry people in this world hope you heard that? Isn't it like, can't like, if we have pool heaters, can't we get pool, refrigerators, the things that's making the ice, can't we put one of those underground and like circulate water into it and send it back out cold? What about that? I don't know, but if anyone's got it, that place does. So I was a little bit confused.

That's what I'm saying. So she's like, oh my god, summer's here get to be 120 degrees, but I'll do anything to keep my kids happy, except move to some place that's not 120 degrees. I know. By the way, it gets to be 120 degrees in Palm Springs too, and I don't see people putting giant blocks of ice in their pools there. Never had an issue. You can just see them turn into lizards right in front of your face.

I know. That is my literal hot take. So the dad is like loving with the kids and they're running around the backyard playing and she's like my husband is very successful in finance. We met in Miami at life at live in Miami. If you know you know We've been married 10 years And the whole family's like We're so happy

It's like one of you's cheating or those kids are on drugs Yeah, tell me what it is because I don't see any normal families acting like that. I was like, congrats on your final year of marriage. Enjoy it. So, I mean, I'm not even lying. I really was like, they're getting divorced. So then, now that it's like nighttime

and they're doing roasting marshmallows outside and the dad, Rich, chief band splanner in residence. He's like, the trick is, when you're roasting marshmallows, you don't put them in the flames because they go all black. Thanks, dad. Thanks. By the way, yes, you can totally put the been flames

and having them turn all black is part of the fun too. Okay, it's part of the process. So she talks about how her kids all, she's got three kids and they've all got different accents And so she's like come on guys Say say this word in three different accents and they marshmallow or whatever. What would she have to say water? Water and then Ben chimed in with water order And I was like you mean water water

What's water is that what what? What is it, water? So she tells us she's Jamaican American and her kids are Jamaican American British. So they're very multicultural and Dubai is very, very safe, especially for little black boys. And that's why she's here. And I don't know, it's just a cute thing. Oh, and she tells us she's a fashion designer.

She's like, I've run a fashion empire. I started Mina Row when I was pregnant and young. I couldn't find anything more comfortable and fashionable. So I made it myself. Yeah, this show is like, I feel like they're all really excited to label the things they do as empires. It's like, I have a frozen yogurt empire in that I go to yogurt land a lot. And I make my own Sundays. It's like I have a frozen yogurt empire in that I go to yogurt land a lot and

I make my own Sundays. It's an empire. Well, Caroline's was entrepreneurial aspiring hotelier. I was waiting for empire at the end. Aspiring hotelier empire empire. Someone has peed on this empire. This bed is an empire and. Someone has peed on this Empire. This bed is an Empire and it's been peed on by another Empire. What was the name of her old, is the gift shop, or something like that? Luxury gift baskets. Yes, I buy gifts that rich people don't have the time to buy themselves. Would you like any candy?

Disgusting. One of my best cellos? Do you veys that have been peed on by my dog? No, it's a thing. Trust me, enjoy it. Also, I believe that Caroline was the first lady on Bravo with pink neon sign. But what did her say?

Oh, it said something like, be nice. It really did say something like, be friendly to each other and she's just scowling under it. Yeah. So then we go to like a big white box, Mcmatchin type thing, but it's made with castle bricks. Which I liked. That's how you can get a smaller house. Use castle bricks on it. Everyone, by the way, be sure to go into our archive and listen to Duel Hello where we also, we really have a great take on all these houses. So yeah, it is like, it is very boxy. As Caroline B, she's from Newton, Massachusetts, and she's been living in Dubai for 12 years.

And Caroline, already you know she's trying really hard to act like she's super rich because she has, I mean, the house is a nice house. It's like a nice, it's like, I feel like a for a normal person, it's a nice big luxury house, but she has no backyard. And she has one of these chairs that like,

it's like a hanging chair, it's like an egg, and she's sitting in it and hangs from like a bracket above. And she has it like, there's no room for it. So it's like right over the what? It's basically right next to the water. Like it's like, this is a chair that's supposed to have like little space and be luxurious. But it's just sort of like wedged into this backyard. And I'm like, oh, you're trying to be, do you like that super rich thing, but you're not. Well, she's doing the like, I was rich, but I gave it all up for my baby, because she tells us that her father, that her child's father, Zoran,

and her were married seven and a half years. And she's like, in my divorce, all I wanted was the child. I walked away with nothing, and that was the toughest thing I've ever done in my life. But for my son, I'll rise to the top. No matter what, do we have straws in this house? So I think she just got into this house for filming basically.

Yeah, maybe it's that. The second toughest thing I've had to do in my life is actually get myself into this chair without falling into the pool. Takes a lot of nimble qualities, but I did it. Yeah, so she's saying that she has two places and the first one's super fancy and she had to get approved to live there. And this is like her vacation place, I guess. And so it's small, but listen, you can spend 1.5 million for a little apartment or you can spend that and get an

estate in Georgia, she said, welcome to Dubai. So then she starts talking to a realtor because she's been doing real estate for many years, but now she wants to be an entrepreneur. She wants to open up a spa and this guy has found a spot for her spa, potential location and she goes for a girl to come from Boston and end up in Dubai,

and be a divorcee and a single mom and build the empire that I'm building, which is also, by the way, non-existent because I haven't built my spa yet. But theoretically, I have a spa empire at some point in my life. This is historical. Okay. I have a plan for a spa. That is an empire. This is historical.

It's a lady with a spa. Oh, who tell you, and a spa, yeah, yeah, spa, hell, yeah, spa, yeah. So Lisa is at the spa or no, at lunch, I thought it was a spa, but it's a lunch and Chanel's coming and she's being driven in some like Rolls Royce Golf cart type thing. Yeah. And she's just taking selfies and posting, posting for the selfies. She's like, I'm a not basic gram. Butting myself. I'm wearing a golden sweater, but it's even golden sweater

because it looks like it might be plastic, either way. So she comes down and she'd like joins Lisa for lunch. And Lisa's like, wow, you look great. Like when you're gonna come to the gym with me and of course she knows like, wow, you look great. Like, when you're gonna come to the gym with me and of course she knows, like, oh, the gym. I did not go to such basic places. Oh no. The only gym I do is my husband.

Ha ha ha ha. And Lisa's like, well, you know, we met because I'm a fashion empire. You might remember and she's a model. So she's like the model of this region. And they both talk about how much they love each other and Ion is there smell Ion Ion is like she's my girl. I could cry, but my makeup is so pretty. I would cry, but I won't And the waiter comes flying a the takes the order and goes and do we have any allergies?

He goes I'm only allergic to bullshit. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, this is not your like, you don't have to test out any house life taglines here. He's like, okay. So you're a real housewife. All right. So she's like telling me you're coming to her maid with me. At least it's like, no, I'm not coming.

What we've been planning this for six months. No, six weeks, six weeks. Six hours, six minutes ago, we texted you, actually. I get confused. So Lisa's like, well, it falls on the same day as Stanberry's bachelor's. Oh, please, you're going to choose that over, going to Hermes that we planned for decades, decades.

See, now you're pausing. I know, I'm so sorry. I had a... You were actually across the room. I had a little emergency, sorry. Dog emergency. Oh, is everything okay? I guess it will be even barfed. Somebody was outside eating God knows what,

and he came in and barfed it all up right by my foot. You know what I call that, basic. Do you need to take a break? No, I was like, what is cold on my foot? And it's barf, it is dog. No. So you're welcome everybody for that visual. I'm going to damn it.

Are you sure you don't want to clean up? No, we're going to continue this, and everybody is going to get to picture dog bar for the entire rest of the recap. So congratulations. Oh, no, we're thinking the worst thing. Sorry, everybody. So where are we?

I was saying how Lisa is not going to air mezz because she is going to the Bachelorette party and she's like, well, you know, you only get married once or twice and she's like, well, you know, he made her, that's definitely a contract-wetting, definitely a contract-wetting. She's like, oh, contract-wetting. And she goes, bitch! And she goes, I feel like, search, I'm stampory,

they have no sexual existency. And, or exist, yeah, existency. She says existency, yeah. And Lisa's like, I don't know what I think about those two actually, no comment, no comment. Yeah, and she was like, well, it's a collaboration relationship. No, I'm doing a totally different accent. She's like, you know what?

She's like, I got to call from Brooks. She said, I am. Did you get an invite from Stanford? Because Stanford told me she's only inviting the most important people. And Lisa goes, I don't think I really see Stanford as saying that. She's like, she said you're not important.

She goes, wow, you guys weren't very nice to each other with you, bet. She goes goes oh yes Well, I've met Caroline's denberry in a couple of locations our energy does not match She didn't try to get to know me which is weird because we have friends in common this weird cuz I'm an amazing bitch I'm fucking amazing basic So Lisa's like well, I feel like she was like oh, you know

I ends not for me and I just want people who are for me at my party and she's oh so Brooks is for her Brooks and she's like well Brooks is for wherever the wind blows, you know, and then Brooks calls in Yeah, she starts calling and calling and calling So she's like oh my god, what are you gonna wear to Caroline's thing? And so they're talking about their outfits and how it's getting so pissed. She's like, oh my God, she's so simple. She is simple. Because she's like, I'm going to dress simply too. She goes, oh, she is simple. That's why, basic. Does she know how to skip in a mall? I do not think so. So Brooks, she's like, well, I heard that Chanel is not even invited to the

Hens party. A drama, at least, is like, really? She's trying to do a full-on Jill Zaryn bathing Bethany Frankel to say something in front of Lueanne who was sitting there, you know? Yeah, and she's like, well, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't go if she didn't get an invitation. It's not like she's just gonna show up. And Brooks goes, ah, fucks! And like she's just gonna show up and Brooks goes That sucks And so she's like well, I gotta go cuz I am like we're having lunch hang up Okay, gotta go honey. Just honey. Why are you calling her honey now? Come on

I can call her honey. Well, do you know how messy she is and So then Lisa starts or I guess Lisa says, you know how message she is. And she starts saying how when you're an ex-pat, you're kind of stuck with the friends that you have and they become your family. And she hates it when Brooks and Chanel fight because then Lisa always winds up in the middle of their mess.

So I like this, that they're all friends. I think that always helps a housewife. Or they all at least know each other, you know? Yeah. So I was like, well, listen, I'm very petty. She's, yes, I know. She's like, and we can play Tid for Tut if she wants. She's like, no, that's not it.

She's like, tut for Tid. Tut for Tid for Tid. No, I'll play Tid for Tid. Tad, toys for Tads. Toys for Tad, I can be toys for Tads. 1-800 cars for kids. We're gonna play this. M-A-T-T-R-E-S, L-E-S-O-F for savings.

I can do that too. 1-877 cars for kids. I'm sticking grip. So no. So I'm like, so she learns to for tat, you know. So then we get a new version of the getting ready segment, which has not changed for decades, right? Like when is it changed?

This is the change. You loved it. It looked like a JC Penning commercial or something. Basically it's like all the women are like looking at the camera, doing their makeup, and like some of their men are jumping in. Actually very macy's, it was like between now and Sunday all makeup 25% off like that's what it looks like. Lip gloss, lip gloss. Now we're doing shoes, shoes. Now we're doing

I like that. Beauty essentials all 75% off for limited time only. And then Caroline's like, Sergio, let's go. And you see Sergio walking with his little short pants and sharing her purse, I think. And then she's like, no, Sergio, other way. And he turns around and walks the other way. I was like, wow, she really did find herself a Ken Todd. She's got a little dog. And then she's got the man who's following her around with her purse. Well, love it.

Yeah. Sergio walked straight left, left, right, straight, uh, Sergio, there's a wallet for crawling out loud. Make a left. Now, right, oh god, this is my dream man. I'm just barking out directions every single minute. I'm so crafty now. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crap and commercial. So they go to a yacht, the cafe, USS Caffeine, and everyone arrives and is kissing on the cheeks and stuff, and she talks to her. Very slowly. How she's like this headlight is totally different than my first one. I was thrown out of hogs and hephos, which takes him doing. That's right. Sergio didn't want to have a stag do you. He didn't want to be taken to

some room and tied naked. I would time to pull and leave him there for a few hours and then I would tell other people to go on tie him. It would go something like this. Valentina, Carl Polina, and had Polina. Is it Polina or Polet? I think it's actually polette. Call polette and tell polette to call who is the lady Cheryl. Just all call someone and tie this damn person. I'm too nice now. I can't even buy my orders properly. I'm inviting old friends at Avchews

and at this stage in life. I feel this will be the perfect hen-might. Him it looks really boring because people are like, hi, they're just kind of sitting there. I'm like, where is Caroline Fleming? Where is your ex sister-in-law, Sophie? Okay, that's what I'd like to know. So Brooks comes, she shows up and she tells us

that Caroline's reputation is up and down. And some people think she's nice and some people think she's a raging bitch, but this is a city that you demand what you want. Okay, Brooks. Okay. Really? Brooks is really leaning into that demanding things.

Yeah. Wow. She's didn't demand. I'm just, don't want to see her at a deli counter. So then, so now, Lisa is saying that she's known Caroline for a few years and that it started on social media and And she says Lisa says she likes her circles small because about quality not quantity You know, that's what happens when you run a fashion and buyer So Brooks is like oh my god somebody telling there's a makeup artist on this book because I'm already sweating and what do you mean?

I can't wear my shoes. I mean these shoes are all the way up to my knees Like I'm gonna have to unleash these is there somebody to do that? I'm demanding things that I want. The city is supposed to listen. Is this about out of city bounds? Because I'm demanding things and nobody's doing anything. So listen, we all know you can't like you have to take your shoes off on a yacht. We watch below deck. So I love I just love when people try to make us think that they are like super rich and living a fab lifestyle And they don't even know about having textures up for a yacht So then we get rich you should know yeah, you should know so Michael we meet Michael

He's like hi, I'm Michael. I'm from Texas. Yeah, I'm her best friend. I mean she has a lot of best friends But I'm the best best I take the most of the season to smile right through it So that's me Michael Caroline. Sam and Snamberg is best friend. What's your name? Oh, Sergio, hello, love of my life. And he's like, no, Caroline, you are the love of my life. Right, right, no one can hear me, right? You are the love of my life.

Right, right. Yes, yes, yes, enough. Get me a drink. Okay, where's Not Luke? Not Luke, get over here. Tell jokes now. I'll say, well, my name's actually Michael Okay, where's not Luke not Luke get over here tell jokes now I'll say well my name's actually Michael, but you're not Luke and that's it So everyone's cheering cheering and Brooks is like oh, well, this is the first time I've seen a man in a bachelor's ret so cheers to that I guess Yeah, and Brooks is like my makeup is running. I'm literally hiding behind my glasses. Humanity has me like

And then she's near as they're with her and she's like oh, where's I on? Oh, she just gives me life. She gives me so much life Which is like basic this basic that patty cake that so Brooks is like well, I don't feel like anything's missing And so she says what do you have an issue with her? She's like, no, does she have an issue with me because she hasn't called me in a month. She's the one who iced me out. God, I'm hot!

And she tells us that she's known I have for a long time. And she's like, when she comes to a party, the outfit enters first. Feathers are already flying in your mouth. And the way that trails long after her, usually it's shifted three inches back on her forehead. I mean, Arca, French nippers got an eye back like when she's quiet, it's good, but when she's bad, it's

because she's squealing. Let's just constate, squealing. So the Nina goes, everyone, I want to have everyone over for a pastel dinner. It'll be the sort of thing where one person wears pastel and everyone else says, ah, you're stupid, you fell for the theme of the party. The time with it we all get to other someone for actually reading the invitation. Any women? So now with later in the evening and they're playing bachelor at kind of games like we need a bottle and so basically Caroline has a little sausage that's like tied to her waist and dangling and she has to get

into a beer bottle or something. She's like, Sergio, this is you and I every night. And she goes, the hen parties where I come from, we think of penis strolls, but those things aren't available in Dubai, so we get creative. Cut to James Kennedy being like, I'm booking a ticket to Dubai. Yeah. I know finally a place that James Kennedy will feel comfortable. So, Nina is, they're all drinking and doing shots,

and Nina explains that they can't drink in Dubai, but it's restricted Like you can find alcohol and restaurants and stuff But it's not available like at the convenient store and there are more restrictions But she's like what happens in the ocean? Days in the ocean. It's like wow. It's like real housewives in New Jersey I know I was like real housewives of a till-to-swint movie So Oh, I was like, real housewives of a Tilda Swinton movie. So, um, so Caroline's like, well, I've always had what I consider a dream life.

Every life has its chapters and I've manifested my best life. At my age, I get a whole doover and with a very hot, very loving and very obedient husband gets me a coffee, sir. Thank you. Thank you. So then the next day, Mina is in the park with her kids and they're going to go up to this picture frame thing. It's like this huge building that looks like a picture frame and you can see the whole city and she talks about being born in Lebanon but growing

up in Austin and having three kids and then you know her nanny's there and then Sarah comes and her nanny. It's like a big nanny episode. There's so many. There's so many. There's so many working people in this show. It's just none of the real housewives. Yeah. And first, I really enjoyed that Sarah's nanny

was named Anne Maureen. Oh, this is Anne Maureen. Hi. So Sarah, this is the first time we really get to see Sarah as I started the opening credits or the beginning there. And she's broader kids. Her son has a fear of heights, but they're still making them go up there. And so Nina is saying how she loves Sarah's energy.

And she's like, I see a rebel in Sarah, even though she's also very traditional. And Sarah is like, I am definitely a rebel. Yeah, she's like, I'm very proud of being Muslim, but I'm like fusion Muslim because, like, you know, some traditions I do, but I'm also very modern, much like Dubai. And so she talks about, she can dress however she wants. And then we go to the kid hyperventilating

on the glass floor, you know, that just, you just see a drop down to the city. He's like, oh my god! And she's like, honey, breathe. One, two, three. He's like, I did it! You know, part of being a modern woman is understanding new and interesting ways to traumatize your children. And this was a great way for me to do it. She says also, like, she's like, I don't dress to satisfy people's expectations of me as

an Arab woman. And she talks about when we see women in Dubai covered, they think it's Islamic and that it's not. And it's cultural. And you don't have to cover up when you go to Dubai. You can live and dress the way you want to. And Nina is talking about, she speaks English and Arabic, but she speaks mostly English because of the school systems there. But she wants the kids to learn Arabic, but they won't respond to it.

But when she yells at them in Arabic, they understand her completely. I was like, maybe it's because you're yelling, you know? Yeah, she's like, every time I say, if you ever don't do the dishes again, you will lose a lot. So then she's still talking about this dinner, she's planning her whatever, and so they're gonna bring Sarah to this dinner.

So it was the night of Nina's dinner, and it's beautiful and opulent, of course. And they've all got their names put on their plate in these kind of like glass, they're like glass cursive or something. Kinda like what it is. It's very much like the stirers that were at Sutton's party on Beverly Hills this week.

We've suddenly had a party at her store and everyone's cocktails had a little sort of stir in it that said Sutton. And that's what these look like. Oh okay so I was thinking they were looking like kind of twisty you know those twisty bendy straws or whatever. I loved those as I love it was just a crazy straw. Yeah I'm like a crazy straw. My mom hated them because they're like impossible to wash but like me I loved them. So they were looking at the Burj Khalifa and Nina was talking about how she lived there for 10 years. And Brooks is saying how she's really excited to meet Sarah because Brooks arrives and she's

really excited to meet Sarah because she follows her on social media and she says she is a five. She look at her, look at her not saying things. What a vibe. Some people start gathering and Brooks is like oh my god I'm the only one that actually came in past out. Okay. I'm the only one who understood the assignment And I regret it. I Regret it. I'm a giant. So she's like in lavender and everyone else is in like gold essentially So Caroline's Danbury arrives and she's like saying hello. Hello softer and kinder. That's me Caroline's Danbury arrives and she's like saying hello, hello, softer and kinder. That's me. Caroline's Danbury. Look at me. Look at the way I galower. I galower in a softer way now. And she's like, oh.

Yeah. And Ion gives her like this very like cold hug and she's like, high-standard, good to see you and she goes Caroline and she's well Caroline's Danber. It's all the same. No, that's my first name the others my surname. Thank you. You can tell I'm soft to now because I say things like surname and I am like oh I saw myself on the mirror today and I said, I love it. God at me.

I was turning around looking at myself. Caroline's like, let me see. Cut to Caroline in her interview and she's like talking to Coco and she's like, well, you're good looking. Would you tell any, would you tell yourself how good looking you are before you sat at dinner? No, because he's polite. So then she's like, well, I'm my porn name now because my name was Caroline B or Caroline S, but now is Caroline C. So my stripper name is

muffin bill. Your first name, your first pet's name, and your mother's maiden name, that's your porn name. And someone was fluffy Martinez. I love that. I love that. By the way, that's not the poll name game. I thought it was pet and street name. Well, maybe it varies. You know, maybe it's toy boys. It's a toy boy. It's a toy boy of stripper name.

It's because my stripper name, my stripper name, it was my rules is, well, actually, it's your favorite pet. So it's Elijah Todd. That's actually my stripper name. I mean, poor name. Mine was BJ Gary. It's not great. It might.

Well, it could have been worse for me. It could have been, it could have been, mine could have been creamy Todd but But we're just gonna stick with the logic and actually could have been Zack Todd also They all sort of like sound like poor names, but especially creamy creamy creamy Todd. Yeah, so Lisa's like oh my god guys We're gonna do stripper class. Oh god come on guys I'm like, oh god, come on guys. You change the getting ready montage. You can change certain things. We don't all have the, please don't do the crowd vagina thing. Like we don't need it, okay?

Thank you. So Brooks, of course, she's just only too happy to rub it into Chanel. That Chanel wasn't invited to the bachelor at party. She's like, oh my god, Caroline, I saw you at your handnight. And you had some moves at your handnight that I was invited to, like many of the other people at the table. Well, if I'm drunk, I'd bounce like a baby when he threw it

on a couch. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage.

To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. To the garbage. She's like, oh my God. And then when the strippers came, that was so hot, which they cut out. Did they cut that out? I don't think we saw so. I didn't see any shirtless men. I didn't see any.

They were probably like, we're gonna get in trouble. So we were cutting that from the footage. But of course, Bruce Ruehler. They on the strippers. Yeah, yeah. No secrets around Brooks. Brooks is like, oh my God, remember when we were doing cocaine off the strippers asses?

And that was hilarious. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And drinking freely. So then, so Carolins like, that should be every dinner, not just batch lurets. And for me, it is because I make so a geotech off a shirt every time he's at the table. Ha.

And Iyan was making these like tongue faces. She's like, I'm mad during this conversation. And she's like, why are we talking about something I wasn't part of? Can we move on and talk about something on part of? Let's see. She must have very limited conversations. You cannot talk about current events with her, I guess. Why are we talking about Warren, Ukraine? I wasn't in the war. Whether I'm not whether what am I raining right now? Never watching this channel again. I never play football. Why are you talking about Superbowl? Will Smith? I wasn't slapped. So, Stambury's like well look the other one over there. Sarah, she wasn't there either.

All right and we can talk about what we'd like. Thank you Look at her blood. I am saying thank you after everything And he's like well of course, but if I wasn't part of it I don't want to know about it and she's Caroline goes because you weren't invited that's why you were part of And he goes let's clean the energy. Let's clean the energy and call and goes nothing's going to cleanse the energy I can't bear this woman see softer and gentler. Oh you can't bear me don't know anything about me Just what I don't want to know you don't piece a full of yourself girl Sarah's like well, I'm sure this was a something private

She just wants her closest people there and she goes well, I just want to talk about something more interesting and aka not basic and that I can have a conversation about and if I wasn't there I don't give a shit and I don't want to know. And so, Stambury laughs and Sarah's like well but you know it's another woman's happy day so that's what it was and she's like well we all have happy days every single day of our lives. Oh, congratulations. You get Nickelodeon. Yeah, we all see happy days, okay? And so, Stamber is like, I was right not to invite her. And Sarah's like, but I mean, I want to talk about all of you. And Brooks is like, oh my god, but that party was so fun. Just rubbing it in because she's mad at Chanel.

And she's like, okay, Caroline, you're just supposing so much. So then Lisa says to Ion, what we did miss you and Brooks goes, I was wasted. I had one too many shots. I'll tell you that much, because it was so fun. So Ion is like,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I want to cheers to ding, sorry, ding, ding, ding. I want to cheers. Dding, ding, ding. Ding. Sorry. Ding, ding, ding. I want to cheers. I want to bring up something. Brooks, you called me at seven in the morning one day, before the chickens were alive.

And you said to me, at least it's like, wait, I thought you said you were giving a toast. Just, oh yeah, okay, I give a toast. Cheers to Nina. Okay, thanks for this beautiful stuff. But I want to ask about Brooks. I want to ask for some questions.

It's so funny. She's like, you called me before chickens alive and you told me that she was only inviting important people to the party and I'm not important. And she's like, I was saying jokingly that she was only inviting important people and obviously you're not important me.

It was her joke. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. Stop being sick, girl. And she knows there's something about my relationship with Brooks that is always like, let's see how I can be so fine and get pleasure out of it. At least it's like, Brooks, it's messy. The end. Hashtag Empire.

Yeah. And so, I answered like not letting it go. She's like, well, I don't like people to make me look stupid. And it's like, but I called you and asked you if you received an invite. No, you didn't call me. You called me to tell me I wasn't invited

because I'm not important. And me, it's like lighting sage. She's like, guys, this is a Crystal and Sage party. So, and so they start yelling about jealousy. And you're on it's like, you're jealous. She goes, jealous of you with your skank wig looking like a scarecrouse. She goes, oh, scarecrow, look at my face

and look at your face. Bitch. So I was like, guys, guys. And Nina's like, well, no, I know that Sage doesn't work. So Nina basically is like, this is when Nina's voice changes. She's like, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. It's close. You want to open it? You open it on your own time, not in my dinner. It's a quote. All right.

It's like the Jersey version of the Hulk. It's like, she becomes the Hulk. But in this case, she just gets a Jersey accent when she's been rich. Yeah, just her voice changed. And so, Stanberry's like, well, I am, is in Quentin, so fine. And there were only abury is like, well, Ion is in Quaintance of Vine, and there were only a certain number of people on the boat. And I don't call, I didn't call anyone to say Ion isn't important. But you did have an opening party in Non-Viteoom, two of the new cast members, which is so her to do. And then be like, what? There wasn't room on

the boat. Listen, I did hire a dinghy that could circle around the boat and wave to us. That's where we may have seen Caprice from season one of my show. So Sarah's like, she's like, you guys can argue as much as you want, but everything has class.

Even arguing has class, okay? Can I solve the problem really fast? Did you say she's not important? No. Did you tell her that? No. End of story. I'm like, hmm.

Not really. Not really. Like we already got that from the, from the fight that's currently happening, but thanks. And Brixton's like, well, I mean, look, I didn't say that comment, but I didn't say that Caroline said it.

I said it. Why would I go? Shek, I said that you, Caroline invited people that were important to her and she goes well I didn't say you were not important, but I did now and I'm good with it And I and she knows like oh please at least it goes I just need dessert Which is almost a word play on desert because we're in Dubai and I have an empire and that's the end of the show Yeah, so then I am all fake emotional down with the other end like I can't believe they were treating me like this

Six hours ago I had feathers on my arms And now this I was though you know, I'm not I'm not sure what to think I'd like it so far. I think it has a lot of promise I'm definitely gonna say look at. I'd like it so far. I think it has a lot of promise. I'm definitely going to say, look at my faith and look at your face. Big. The next time I have the chance. It was good.

That was, I, yeah, I'm going to give it, like I wasn't blown away by the premiere, but I know sometimes, premieres are not always representative. So, I have an open mind. I did not think the trailer was great. So, I'm hoping that it will be a pleasant surprise. And, you know, we're gonna be still watching it.

So, we'll be along for the ride. Time will tell. Can't wait for pole dancing class. I mean, that's really, I mean, what are we pioneers? Empire. Truly. But thanks for being with us, everybody. We will talk to you next week, eh? Yeah, we will talk to you next week eh? Yeah, I'll talk to you next time. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itch-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. She's our queen, Marie Levine.

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