Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Bruja Mar

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

The Real Housewives of Miami are still staying at the Baha Mar and Adriana throws a temper tantrum when some rough housing leads to a hurt foot. Also, there is a side by side pic of Alexia next to a barracuda that's just not right. Not right at all. This week's bonus Patreon episode is our first foray into ChaptGPT. Join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are really just laughing. Who cares what happens, but there's so much that's happened. Well, hello everybody and welcome to Watch What Corappans. are you, baby? Oh my God, I'm great. I'm so, I'm wonderful. I feel great.

Me too, because this is the last week. It's not a week. The crappies are in. Can you believe it? That's right. Next week is the week that the crappies are on. OK, next week, next Thursday, we're going to be in Phoenix doing a pre- crappies celebration.

We'll also be recapping Real Housewives of Miami there, so get your tickets for that. The next night, we are at the Wilter & Theatre for the 2023 Golden Crabby's Awards ceremony. Honoring the best and worst of Bravo, we've got a ton of really fun guests. It's a huge theater. It is going to be a huge party. So, comp, and if you can't get to LA, don't worry, it will be professionally streamed by Moomin Towsah, who is very, it's a great company, that we worked with them last year from Town Hall, and that is probably the most professional thing that's ever happened in our lives. So, if you want tickets for that, go get those at watchfootcraftpins.com, where you'll find all of our ticket links We cannot wait to see you guys there. I'll be making the crappies this afternoon when we're done with this

Yeah, the actual awards the Adam is making them Can't wait hum. I'm this at this weekend my my project is I'm going to be making the in Memorium montage which is One of my favorite things to do all the year and Some other random stuff. So it is I'm gonna be trying to make something musical happen I don't know how in the world that's gonna happen But just so you guys all know this is of course being taped together And shit some parts were just chewing up gum and putting it together. We have no idea. We're hoping it's going to be good, but it'll be good.

That's how we do it every year. It's going to be fun. The crappies are like taxes. Every year, I'm like, I'll be more organized. I'll be more organized. And it'll be even, it'll be smoother than ever before. And then every year it shows up. And it's like, ha!

That's the crappies. It's also like taxes in the way that we're always like, oh my god, let's try and make some money. And then we end up owing a bunch. One moment. But you know, that's OK. So are you saying that we should like mix the Ferris wheel this year?

All right, so today is also a very important day because it's a real housewives of Miami day, okay? It's always a very good day in our lives. And this episode is from season five episode 14. It's called Reage Release Repeat. Yeah, another amazing episode of Miami. Miami, a nominee for Bravo Show of the Year and the Crapies, in fact. And I mean, this episode could be the thing

that puts it over the top. I mean, this episode was just, this was, I mean, everything, everything. I was cracking, I mean, like, I could, I just, it's just so good, just so good. Yeah. This just crazy, you know. So we ended up, so the last episode,

everybody was getting along. You know why? Because Lexi wasn't there, okay? Every Marisol. Mary saw wasn't there. Alexi was getting along with everybody. Everything seemed to, you know, there were like little skirmishes here and there,

but everybody was making gobb. They were having fun. And then the episode ends and. Hocus! Maxi never thought you'd see me on this trip. Hey, monkey. Hey, bro, see the all edges. Where are you?

Uh, uh, so we open up with. I've been hearing the Bahamas have been quite boring so far, so you're welcome. Marisol has arrived. Who's right at a party? And then yeah, she's got her megaphone, you know, my favorite prop on Bravo. And she's walking around going going who ordered the broceasing all the just yeah broceasing all the game she's wafting in like a fart so then everyone's like oh my god Marisol and then Larsa Larsa takes off what do you

call it like the what we were over bathing suit again like a cover up cover up and she goes getting the pool and And everyone's like, whoa, look at that. But, and Julia is like, let's be honest, Lars' butt is enormous. Okay, why not admire true beauty? She's got it and shows writing face. It's like two gods curled up attached to back, beautiful. And they're all owing and owing over Lars' body.

Lars' is like one of those fucking megatrucks in my town that they just keep lifting 10 feet off the ground and then putting these gigantic tires on them the LED lights under and like a little helicopter, you know, thing on top even though it doesn't fly, it's just a shit that you just keep adding to a truck. That's Larsa, okay? I feel like she reminds me, she looks like a, to me like a, like a table lamp without a shade, you know? So she's like, oh my god, I'm like hot like, you know what I feel like, I feel like I want to like jump in the pool like, right? So she, everyone's like I feel like I want to jump in the pool like right. So she everyone's like, Oh yes!

And they're playing porn music and Adriana is like, Larsa, I don't ever want to hear about my nipple slip again. After looking at you dress like that. So they're talking about how hot she is. And Julia and Lisa are sort of still sitting at the table. So Julia turns to Lisa goes, Lisa, how is your family? And you expect Lisa to be like It's it's rough, but we're getting through it. She goes so fucked up

Who made the mistake of asking Lisa anything, you know, don't ask. It's been five minutes since she's talked about Lenny. Can we please just make it last, you know? So, so yeah, it's so fucked up. And then she tells us she's like, yeah, you know, after all these years, oh no, I'm sorry, I got a little lost because I changed the font size in my notes. So we see a clip of her in the bedroom and Lenny being like, I don't want to talk to you Lisa. Do you understand me? I do not want to talk to you. And then Julie is like, here's my advice. Make it about you and God. And Lisa's like, well, what am I supposed to abolish, but listen, I wish I could just abolish as we did lose our way this year.

And then we see a clip of them at that feco dinner where she's like, look at us. After all these years, we still haven't lost a spark. Right? And it's like, yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Promise. Not the butter. I wish I'd gone back and repent it because it wouldn't, I wouldn't be here right now. Yeah. And so she says that she wrote a letter to Lenny to get her feelings across. Like I wrote a big long letter to make him know how I felt. It basically was just me saying, why is a lot of wise in a row? I don't think he read it. I don't think he read it. Yeah, I think he just deleted it

So that's that but you know, you can't fix that you can't fix a person like Lenny's Letty's a disturbed horrible awful human being like there's no fixing it, you know, yeah So Adriana is now talking to Mary soul and she's like Oh, you don't that you have coffee then don't come close to me. And she was in with a false pause and am hackers. She said, well, we have to talk. Oh, poor, if there's ever a moment to say poor, poor, this is the moment. Well, because we have the longest history in the group.

And we've been here through marriages, to funerals. I spoke to your mom's funeral. You guys were at my, you guys were my bridesmaids. Where is the start? We're both together. Oh, God. You know what? You beat me, you watched as Dr. Karen Sierra beat me

to the tweed. We've been through a lot together. Oh, God. Where is this even going? I don't even, I need any home music playing. Like, it wasn't even happening right now. I need a bunch of ladies and short-forces running in circles around the bench.

I don't even understand what's happening. So, Adriana's base is saying that she happening right now. I need a bunch of ladies and shorts where it's just running in circles around the bench. I don't even understand what's happening. So Adrianna's basically saying that she feels like they've drifted and there was like times where like she didn't feel like she was included to things and like she's like, oh yeah, well like my birthday party. Like she thought you weren't gonna go. So she's like, oh well,

Adrianna's living in her own little world. So I really know Peter, you didn't get invited, you know? And I was like, yeah, we lost touch for a while. That's just saying, like maybe I was too drunk to remember how to call you because I drink, I love cocktails, cockies. Let me know. Yeah, but we did, you know, like I did feel like

if you reached out and talked to me because you know everyone in Miami calls us and tells us everything, you know that right? And like she's like, I didn't know about your divorce. So that's what you're gonna bring up right now. I didn't know because I'm busy. And then, Adrian, Adrian? That's sad.

And Adriana is in like pure victim. Like what about me? And she goes, oh, she tells us, so wow, you weren't too busy to be my bridesmaid, but now you're too busy to reach out to me when you hear I'm getting divorced. Like what a friend you are. What a friend you are. What a friend you are.

And this is classic housewives, because Adriana came on, she was besties with Leah Black. And Leah Black was doing that whole thing like, I've done everything for her, you know, what she does. I made her, she's Mark Taylor because of me. And they had that kind of thing going on and then these ladies did not like Leah

and so they were kind of trying to use Adriana as a weapon against Leah and get her turn and be like, don't you want to be friends with the cool kids? And then Adriana did turn against Leah and then the dump turn. Does that sound right? Well, I've granted it a lot of different years and years to do it,

but they were never gonna be as close with her as they were with each other. And also, they were bridesmaids because they were out of, there was approximately elements, right? The show is still shooting. And then it was like several years later, the show wasn't shooting. They sort of went their own ways, you know. So it's not like you can say, oh, well, you were fine to be my bridesmaid, but then when I needed you most, where were you then?

It's like, well, time went by. be my bridesmaid, but then when I needed you most, where were you then? I was like, well, it's time went by. Adriana always does this, though. We're nearing the end of the season. Well, she's going for everything now, because she's like, well, if you had called, you would have known I have high cholesterol. Oh my God, we can't even, we have got to wait for that moment to come,

because that is the most amazing moment. No, that's happens right now. That's what she says next. The moment is here. She goes, No, that's happens right now. That's what she says next the moment is here She goes Marisol's like yeah I like she says I didn't know about your divorce. I'm busy and they're doing it. Oh, yeah, you're right I'm sorry, so she goes and and and they're all just looking her she says I have I cholesterol And that makes me prone to stroke so my cholesterol is 250

And that makes me prone to stroke. So Michael, let's throw it 250. No, she's at 350. Michael, let's roll is 6,000. I am actually just, I'm just a lipid at this point. I'm one big talking lipid. They're like, what? This is like, that's high. I mean, higher than me and I'm on drugs after the time.

Lexi's like, bro, I don't get it. We're in the Bahamas and Larsas has an amazing body and you want to talk about Hikalestra and you don't want to see why the guys don't want to go out with you. Like, who's going to go out with that? And they take your other girls and they fight, die, my mother's going to be alone. I can't do that to my mother.

It's like, Adriana is like a real friend would have called and found out that I have extremely high cholesterol on that risk for stroke. So it might be your birthday and I have high cholesterol. Oh my God, that's not her. She wants to pick on us. She's going to give herself a stroke. No, what I mean, oops, I overdid that poor right there in the interview can't come on tips See my husband get upset. I'm an alcoholic. I love to drink cocktails. I'm a result

My the way I'm real through shit too. I lost my parents my house went through a hurricane I lost my eggs and Adrienne because oh well your last boyfriend Let me tell you what a friend I am. Because after you worked together, he hit me up and then he goes, boom, and Adrian was like, yeah, he hit me up and said, I'd like to take you to dinner and come to Novakov. And I told him I could not do that to you. That's what a good friend I am. Also they have very fried foods at another cost.

I said not going there, going to a butter tasting. Okay, I don't know what this cholesterol. So I like this like, oh well, you know, that happened years ago. So why are you telling her now? And like, what are you even like talking about him in the first place, you know? So they're like, oh, she was all, and then oh well,

you know, he had your phone number. And she was, know, she was oh, she was oh, and then oh, well, you know, he had your phone number. And she was, no, it was a dating app. She goes, well, no, also he had your number because I saw his phone. So why did he have your number in his phone? And she goes, maybe from one thing, when we were in London, it's so pretty. It's like, it's really anything she's proving her loyalty. But it's the opposite of that. I'm like, girl, stop talking. It was like, girl, stop talking. It was like, well, I told him I cannot do this to Marisol. I said, here, I don't want a portray Marisol,

so I sent him a nude photo and I said, this is something you cannot have. And then he sent me a dick pic and he said, but I want to give this to you. And I said, that is a beautiful penis. And here's another picture of me nude. And I said, another thing that you cannot have because I cannot do this to Marisol, I'm a good friend. I is a beautiful penis. And here's another picture of me nude. And I said, another thing that you cannot have, because I cannot do this to Marisol.

I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. And you know what he told me? I was never in love with Mary's soul. I'm like, Jesus. What is wrong with you? And Alexi is like, what the fuck, Ariana? How does you think that make you a good friend?

On the contrary, you're hurting her. And she goes, why didn't you tell her at that moment then? She goes, because it would hurt her. Oh, wow, you're such a good, you're such a good person. No. So Marisol's like, well, she can have my sloppy seconds, X, dick. If you know what I mean, you're welcome to it.

Everyone else in my ammias tried it now. It's like an old tired lollipop, which is funny because I really like to use lollipops as part of my prop ensemble. And Adriana is like, well, if I weren't that friend, I would have gone out with him, but I did not do that because I wouldn't do that. And like, he's like, well, there's so much dick in the world to have to do to have to date your friend's ex that's sad. And so they're like, what the fuck is Adrian to do? Right? No, when everyone knows Adrian was foolish. So Nick Nicole ends it. And she's like, listen, tonight we have dinner on the beach. So let's shower and unwind. Yeah, shower and unwind. You are.

Yeah. So they go up to shower and unwind. As you say, but now we have like the little face times, relax your face, I'm Frankie, et cetera. Now we have like the little Face Times, or Lexia Face Times, Frankie, et cetera. And Larsa goes in the cold room and she's like, so you should have heard Adriana and Juliet despise a lot of like XYZ, et cetera. And Nicole's like, oh well, did you talk about the Breheria? And she's like, yeah, but I feel like Julian, Adriana have this thing like that they're like holding

against like a Lexia and it made me think like forne Adriana, I have this thing that they're holding against Alexia and it made me think, like for the first time, you and I met, we start off, not great. It's sort of funny because that has nothing to do with anything Rob's just talking at the start of the sentence. Yeah, and it goes like, yeah, we got stuck on that Hampton thing and then we see this clip of Larsa going, who the fuck are you to not invite me to your like house like Which I was thinking so hilarious line So she's like well, I feel like you said things and like I feel like I said things and like to be honest Like I want like you know like honestly like I really honestly truly feel like I didn't mean like some of the things

I said like I should never have repeated the room like because like that was like stupid and like I wouldn't mean like some of the things I said, my gosh, she'd never repeated the rumor like, because like that was like stupid. Like I wouldn't be fine. Like that's how I feel like. And Nicole's like, you know what, that means a lot. That means a lot to me. So like, I, you know, I feel really vindicated because it was a rumor and she has no facts. And was like talking because she was angry.

It cuts back to Lars and I said, she's like, I don't regret what I said. Just like I want to move on like and not like have the back and forth like XYZ, like, you know, it could be like this and that XYZ back and forth, like, I don't want that. I'm a business woman. So, um, not so like getting ready and everything. And Adriana is asking Nicole if there's going to be any surprises for tonight. And there's going to be a spiritual healer that's going to do some rage healing.

And Julia is like, Oh, well, Elixia is going to see that she came from botanica. Cannot bring it from botanica. So then Lexi is talking to Mary. So Lexi is like, bro, I'm so glad you came in. I don't know what it would. You don't even know what it was like without you like Adrianna was coming for me And then there was a broody of stones and Mary so it's like oh, you don't want anyone coming for you You know spooked I've been about not feeling my mother anymore. I mean things are falling apart

I felt it in my heart that something was being done sparsely to me And so I took the stone and threw it over the balcony. It had a baby. The baby started crying. The mom picked up the baby, started shaking the baby. The baby's hat fell off. And guy tripped over. It is head on a tree and he died. Someone is put a smile on me. Yeah, they say they're going to make a movie about the experience calling it layover destination. Yeah, they say they're gonna make a movie about the experience calling it layover destination. Can't wait to see how it comes out. So, layover, that's what I called my accent. Hey, Drowna tried to sleep, boy.

Layover, buddy, get out. The premise of the movie is that death tries to come for you. When you try it, when you fool death, death is like, fine, I'll just make some shit happen. And then it moves on. I'll scare a baby. I'll scare a baby. Knock a branch over. Really hard to cast.

So the producer asked her, hey, we're going with the Adrian Grenier. And any baby that he might know, really, honestly, was really mad at me to fill a film like that. So the producer's like, so do you think they put a curse on you? And she's like, I mean, I don't see Julia doing that.

I mean, she can't even put a diaper on a belt. But maybe Adriana, and then it cuts to Lexi, and she's just, yes, Adriana, because Brazilians are super witchy. Just, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Brazilians are schooled in witchery. Little plantain potter. I mean, everyone's seeing those films. Plantain potter.

So, um, uh, and then Marisol has now gone herself really upset because this ex that she had was actually really important to her and she's been thinking about it and she goes, that's a really shitty friend. I mean, entertaining a conversation with my ex. Obviously, there was more than just a little banter on an app, you know what I'm saying? Oh, I know. Ed Bigley, Jr. Well, I think you'd be great, great for for death. Let me call my agent about that. And then she puts on her makeup and she's like, I know that man loved me. So then Lisa calls her kids and they're like, what are you coming home?

We want to go to Target. They're like, oh my God, I can't be away from my kids. I got to go to Target. Can you believe it? Two days away from the kids, they all want to already want to go to Big Box stores. This is terrible! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha!

Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap- Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us. We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking

about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

It's commercial. Dinner time. There's a fire dancer at the beach. There's a beach set up there. The woman all arrived. There was a healer named Micah Micah Smith And she's like hello ladies this evening will be doing a rage release ritual. There's gonna be some screaming We're gonna let it all out. Okay, good luck. Bye everyone

And then like oh my god rage are doing these looks at each other like oh my god and Kiki's like I'm very excited because being cheated on, still taking an emotional toll on me, it's like a jackuilating. You release and you're happy and that's it. Yeah, it's a good thing. I'm not getting any action. My vagina chakras is closed.

I need to open it up. We're not done yoga before they ask you to scream a laugh and it helps. I'm open to it. I will scream. I want to like fart while I scream Merge's all still cannot take Keke she just waves her away she's like anyway I'm only here watching a lot of emotions on Julie's face like Julie

And you want to say something or do I need to pull out a game of dictionary to pull it out of you. And she's like, oh, I was just listening. Oh, okay, if you want me to talk, if anything, did you get your stone? And she's like, I did, but I didn't touch that stone because I have to tell you, I've been very spooked. Let me tell you something. That's stone. And on top of that, I was in the airport and I saw a miniatur license plate that said, Mary, I'm telling you there's witchcraft everywhere in the stores. And it goes like, you think Julia who rescues animals is gonna put a hex on you? Like she's not Voldemort.

And Mary says like, I just don't want any banning energy, okay? You think my stone is going to give you back energy? Are you sure you're okay to take a cocktail because maybe someone touched it and gave it to you. Would you even take cocktail? What if there's curse on this? And she's like, oh God, stop being a weirdo. The cocktail's a cocktail.

She's like, it's, then this is a stone. So she's like, listen, I don't want any vibes from anybody. Okay, I was super spooked and he drives like, but it was good vibes. Well, it doesn't matter if it came from you or her or Pepe or Glen Close, who I'm also shortlisting for this film. Zoe Saldona, any baby that Zoe Saldonna might possibly know. And he's like, and Alexia, yesterday you hit me weird looks when I gave it to you. You smirk and you look away. She goes, it was the weird face. Or is there something more to it like you didn't digest what happened to you and

I in the keys because you give me the better. Cool. That look you're giving me right now where your eyes come out like she's like okay well uh okay I'm gonna release your rage like go ahead and release it with me because like this what you've been doing for once so like continue to do it like just be like let me like take your rage out on me and you're like oh with pleasure so you're giving look you're giving me the better kuda look she's like she's like like uh well you know Peter like what me the barracuda look. And she's like, she's like, oh, well, you know, Peter, like, what's the barracuda? I mean, like, I know, I know what the barracuda is, but I know, I don't, I want to know

how it's related to me. Like, you're offensive. That's the, that's the rage in you right there. Like, you don't even know how to have a conversation that I'm trying to say something to you in that barracuda. I was dying. It's really, it's like, you sent my eyes for a mic, you have some kind of rage.

And she goes, yes yes because look at you I'd like though botanica did you go for you because like I feel like you were saying you girls need a stone And I've had that insulting like you were trying to save us and just no I wasn't trying to save you And then the colon Lisa are laughing at something because they put up something on their phones and they're cracking up And I like to see it's like a teacher. She's like a teacher in history class. Like, girls, can you please? Okay, but try and have a conversation. Okay, try and have a conversation

about raging barracudas. And at least it's like, sorry, I just wanted to look up what a barracuda look like. And then Grady goes to us. She's like, okay, please, please, give me a side by side of Alexia and a barracuda please. And they do. And it is I

Lost I Cry I Ronnie This is when it pays to be a real house like my I have a friend who's a writer and he's like How do you watch those shows the written word is so important? I'm like, please write something as good as this moment. Please. I dare you a Challenge you write something as good as this moment. Please, I dare you. I challenge you. So fucking funny. And Gurdie's like, oh, I see it.

I can see it. And Jenna's like, Gashy does have the long neck and the sharp teeth. And it goes like, oh my God, that is ugly as fish. So Lisa, of course, has to make it about her. She's like, I wish I had these problems. Guys, I wish I had these problems. I wish I could go back to last year where these are my problems. And Nicole goes, oh, you mean last year when your

house was tacky, she's, yeah, my house was tacky. And then we see the reunion fight where Nicole has found or at least has found out that someone has called her house tacky because she got tile deals in China. It's like, it's like one amazing moment, piled on top of another with a flashback to an even better moment. It's just like it's out of control. And the barracuda, the shot that they got of Alexia and then the shot of the barracuda, I put a screenshot of it on our Instagram because I like, I had to stop everything in the entire world to capture this moment It was so good so then the Adriana's like well in my defense The reason why we went to botanica like you and I were like a little skeptical and scared

But like there's a lot of things happening to her to Julia like her hand. She's got two infections. She can't heal Okay, I feel like someone's doing something to her And Mary so I was like, something's definitely going on around here. And Laura says like, yeah, but like we were like getting messages like like you feel like some kind of a way like XYZ, like you said, Alexia doesn't include you like me in the cold situation. And like we have this feeling from the beginning, like the right Nicole, like you mean this by that,

like this and that. And like, you know that? And Adriana said, like this bitch, I was like, what is Lars that you been talking about? Lars is going from thing to thing. She's not making any sense. But then finally she gets to it. And she's like, Adriana said, the bitch thinks I'm mysterious. And Lexi goes, oh, bitch.

She said, bitch. And she says, if you're like, listen, bitch. She said, bitch. And she's just, if you know what I was like, listen, did I have those feelings, but we had a conversation. And like last year there was a birthday party and I was excluded. And Merce was like, sorry, man. You could have told me five years ago

that my accent loved me. I mean, gosh, you could have taken that one to the grave and kept it to herself. But she didn't. It's like I don't even recognize Adrienne anymore. She's just like this two-headed blurry beast like, well, you're drunk. Oh, well, there's that too.

But trying to hurt me about my ex, I mean, which ends it in a bad and toxic. I mean, he literally broke my, I withered down to an anorexic bone for the pain of what that relationship did with me. So, Alex is like, well, you know, if you're friends, you should be able to pick up the phone and say, hey, I feel this way. And Adrian was like, well, I did call you. She's like, well, yeah, but like the fact that you felt that way about me, like, I don't have to call you like whatever. And they're

sort of going back and forth a little bit. And she's like, yeah, and you said bitch. And she's like, oh, wait, bitch. And also what you said is taking it out of context, Alarsa. Like I said, if you wanted to know about me, you should be giving me a cold bitch, like it's slang bitch, you know, like I'm saying slang bitch. And then I said, ah, you said bitch. She's like, don't tell me what I said, Marisa. I didn't call anyone a bitch. You're the one who can't people a bitch. It was not like that. Okay, it was not like that. Okay, don't tell me how I feel because you're not inside of me.

You're a little snitch and it's like, and Larsa goes, Hey, Drianna, HopiTrass right now. A feature ass, to this, from this to that, an XYZ. It's like, oh, classical this to that, an XYZ. It's like, oh, a classical Larsa,

classical Larsa is taking something out of context and making it negative and turning into a beautiful piece of music with four movements, classical Larsa. You have a, you know what you said? And it runs with snitch like you called me. And she's like, well, I didn't know what I felt, bitch, okay, you don't know me. And so then Adriana like picks up her drink to throw up,

but like throws all the liquid behind her and then tosses it at Plaza. So it's like a fail, but nobody got in trouble. And then Kiki's like, excuse me, emergency rage lady. Rage lady. Because the, the, the rage doctor, the range healer is like, you know, maybe like 20 yards away sitting in like where the, where the range healing is going to be. So Kiki's like, emergency, emergency.

And then she like, Kiki, Kiki just starts like running off. And so then Lars is like, you know what, I never start. I never initiate conflict. That's not my thing. It's like 10 weeks earlier. You rent your house to pay your mortgage. One month earlier. Oh, I saw Juliet the four seasons and she's making it with a man. One month earlier.

I heard you made eye with every doctor in the hospital. 10 minutes ago. Hey, waiter, I heard you cheated on your wife. Sorry. Five seconds ago. You caught her a bitch. So, uh, Adriana is like, I don't trust you anymore, Larta. And she's, yeah, but he shouldn't. Just funny. And Adriana's like, yeah, well, I'm full of anger because they switch everything you say.

They switch. So she goes over to the rage lady, right? Oh my God. And she starts like sobbing to her. And Kiki's like, this is not classy. I'm not used to this. And so she walks down to the beach and it's like flicking water all over the place.

And Adriana's like, it pisses me off. They slammed her me. I feel like if I was dead, it would take a people dance to find me. And my poor dog would probably be dead next to me because I would find my dog. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Like the biggest pity part, like this was so epic. It was so amazing. And while she's doing this,

Kiki is now crashed down onto the sand and is like, these women fight as often as I go to pee. So guess what? And she pees. And she goes, I'm that bitch. If that piece of sand. And then it cuts like, and Adriana's like, they're fair with her friends.

Like, they're not here, but they're not here. What does wrong with me? Why don't they like me? And Lexi is like, this is stupidity. Stupidity to a different level. And Julia's like, well, I don't blindly defend Adriana, but I do think she had a mental breakdown at that moment. And she is a single woman raising a child alone. Why attack her? Why be mean? So Lisa walks over

say, come on. Come on now. What's wrong? It's like I'm just tired. I'm so tired of being a walled and having fair with our friends. I'm so tired. It's like I'm not a fair with a friend and you got Julie over there. Listen, I'm so tired. I'm not a fair way to friend. And you got Julie over there. Listen, I'm always gonna be there for you, but by the way, I'm leaving tomorrow. And so Adriana's like, my friends are my family. I don't have anybody else. Like, there's so much hatred towards me

because, oh, they are perfect. They never make mistakes. Good for you that you've never made mistakes. Good for you that you only marry the best men. Good for you. You would never cheat it on. I'm like, this is like the most like melodramatic moment. It is amazing. She is just a full on going for it. So Mary so just keep repeating, I don't want any of this energy. Okay, I don't want any of that. Check my life, I trust it, you know. Lars is like, Kitsin,

have you come to like argue like, and Lisa goes, come on, she said. Lars goes, okay, well then we're here to like help you. Why are you sad then? Like, are you sad that you can like call people a bitch? So the healers, they're like, okay, let's start. The healers like, okay, so tonight,

what we'll be doing is terrifying all the people who are staying at the resort. I know this is a big, big trigger word, but a rage release ritual. I would like everyone to think of a situation or even a person that made you feel angry or inadequate, and then you can scream at least. He's like, I wonder who that could be. Yeah.

It's Lenny. He gets you in condolence. It's Lenny. It's Lenny. So they all married so of course. It's like, I'm pissing my friend. It wasn't very nice to be mother fucker. And so now they're all shaking their arms in front of them and just screaming and Kiki's not into it at first.

Oh no. No, Kiki is so into it. Everyone else is sort of like, because Lisa's like, that, I hate you, like, that. And then Nicole, Nicole's doing the thing where she's holding the apple in front of her again, the invisible apple in her interview. And she's like, all we do is yelling each other. And none of us have like, healed our rage. So I'm not sure of yelling at the ocean, is going to help any of us, but it's worth a try, I guess. of yelling at the ocean is going to help any of us, but it's worth a try, I guess.

So then they're all yelling together. And then Kiki is like way too into it now. Now she's like sobbing and they have to like carry her away. She's like crying and like, she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Just trying to squeeze out a good fart. So, some of us all like, I'm pissed that my friend wasn't nice to me. Ha, I was like trying to yell.

Well, so then, uh, Gurty, who picks up who? Gurty and Kiki are rolling around on the sand. Yeah, they're like rough housing, rolling around on the sand and laughing. And then, um, Kiki picks up Gurty and Gurty's like, do not drop me, do not drop me, but then they both fall over and they fall on Adriana's foot. And she says, oh my god, I hope they didn't break my foot. Yeah. The way they fell on my feet, they broke my foot, they broke it, they broke my foot.

Yeah. I mean, when they show a slummo replay at one point, you can see her foot kind of get stuck on there. I get a little twisted a little bit. But she's like, oh, no, my foot has been amputated. My foot is no longer attached. It looks attachment is not attached. It is no longer a foot. I'm no longer human. Oh my gosh. So Alexis, I don't think it's that bad.

Once again, she wants the attention. And it's negative. It's always negative attention. And she's like, you broke my foot, dude. So she just like, why do you have to stick to this as a game? And she looks like a shepherd. She's like going through, like, she just like walking to six pieces of game. She looks like a shepherd. She's like going through like she looks like she's about

to give someone a prophecy. She's like hold on here like on the tell you something about the future. So everyone's like oh my god Adriana's being so dramatic. Right. So Julie and Adriana stay on the beach and everybody else goes up to the rooms. And Julie is like I understand more what Adriana means when she says the girls aren't there for her.

I feel bad for her because I'm actually seeing it with my own eyes. They fight like cats and dogs. And I feel bad because where are gods? Gods fight too. Gods not allowed in fight. I feel bad. I tell her at least you don't have chicken trying to bite you. Ha ha ha.

So then the medic basically carries Adriana. Like she's scarlet or hera. Like if anybody has beacons angled up her address. So he, yes, likes her stop. It's like, I will never have turnips again. Slander. So then Marisol, Larsa and Alexia and Lisa are walking back to their room and just the it's just like beautiful. It was like this show on top of being hilarious is beautifully shot.

I was like this like why did none of the other housewives look as good as this show? It is I was like this is crazy. It looks so good. There's like a depth of field. There's good lighting. It's like, well composed. I was like, what is this show? It's hitting on all the fronts. So then the next day, Kiki and Laura started getting ready. They're all going to go to the pool and Laura says,

like, oh my God, like Kiki, like I feel like I was like telling Sophia what happened. We laughed like so hard. Like you picked up Gurdie, like a baby, and then you fell. It was like telling Sophia what happened. We laughed like so hard. Like you picked up Gurdie like a baby and then you fell. It was like a 69 moment. Like you know what I mean? Oh, thank you, this. I was like 69.

By the way, this thing with Larza saying that she spoke to Sophia on the phone. She's really trying to make this happen because she like goes and tells everyone this morning. So like I called my daughter and she was like dying of laughter when she found out what happened. Hold on, the bell boys here. Hey, bad boy.

I just called my daughter this morning. Yeah, I thought about last night. She was dying of laughter. She's like dead now. Like she's like literally dead now because she's left so hard. She left so hard. Yeah, she's trying to make like a fun Sophia storyline happened But every time we see her they're just spending thousands of dollars on clothes and Sophia's like

And I got a thong it's like no, I'm not seeing it the same So then Lisa is saying by the people and the luggage guys like oh my god, what a sad day. She's like yeah You said such a sad day. You're leaving just yeah, and then I'll be back. He goes, yes, you will. Yes, you will be back. It's like wow, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, but not only that, he's like respond to her and she's already like walked out the room. She's just like, when have a year of servants.

So then now they're gonna, today's activity is that they're gonna be doing a boat trip. And, and Mars, they're going to like a private little island thing. Yeah, that's owned by the resort. So, um, so then there's, Lars is talking about how she doesn't know how Adriano is going to act today and Kiki goes, well with one leg, you can't act up. One leg.

Can't act, can't fight. Oh my god, Gertie, I had my daughter Sophia like literally crying when they told her what happened. She was like literally dead. It's like if dead people could cry, that was her. And Girty is like, I'm going to see slow motion. I need to see a drone is just going, my foot, my foot. And Larsa says, guess who else was like on the beach like? That girl called karma. Like, it's the stone. So I'm gonna put a jinx on us. Yeah.

So then we see now Julia pushing Adriana down the hall in a wheelchair. And they just add the sound effects every time that wheelchair is just going hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee it's been a sad that Julia makes when she pets her goats hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee Well, she was saying she was gonna call the lady who owns a store. So like they called her but like Then we see a clip of some But first I like she goes oh Tannika say it the botanica She's like like this like don't try to don't try to sugar cut this it was about Tannika So we see them calling and it's some lady named Tiffany and They're like well my friends think that like they're they're being attacked with spells and Tiffany's like,

no, no, we're like a card shop. Oh. Basically, Hallmark, we wanna buy some cherubs, we got them too. So, and their coals, like, yes, I like the thing is that, like Julia was calling it a botanica, but it's not a botanica, first of all. It's like, it's like a gift shop.

She wasn't even trying to be malicious, okay? This, like that, just like crystals and flowers And they're like, oh, okay, never mind. Yeah, I don't care for my work came from idol on stones And so to be like these are team good teenage girls are mean girls so they come in and Music just like When Adriana is wielded and so we can hear that Oh god too much of will tear I can't so they just all start cracking up at her and Lars is like

Adriana loves to play the victim like it's like what I was telling Sophia last night she was dying of laughter when I was like Adriana's the victim and she's like oh my god mom She's so funny and so hilarious. It's's true though she is like that and oh my god this is the perfect way of getting out of her problems it's time for commercial it's time for a crap and commercial so now they're on the dock and they have to figure out Adriana in the boat so you know she's just being carried all over the place. Tell them I have to go first. I have disability. Yeah, it'll be sensitive to my disability. So, they like to this whole thing. They carry

her on the boat and everything. And then they get on and they're like, is there any music? And Adriana's like, we can put my song on. So, we hear her song. My hand means on, on, on, on fire. And huge oversight by the crappies that we did not nominate it for me. It wasn't this year. That wasn't this year. That was this year, not last year. The only thing that's going to happen is you just don't listen to the only thing that are nominated there from last year. Okay. It's from 2022. That's from 2023. If you want to nominate them the next year for the 2024 award and fine. But there may be there may be some slight inconsistencies about that rule that will look

the other way about because I do believe that the lawyer scene was nominated. So like any word, try to edit it out till next year then. It's like any good award shot, there's like some ambiguity about like eligibility and so, you know, we'll look the other way. The master eligible to win. I can't wait to see. we'll look the other way. Then that's not eligible to win. I can't wait till next year. It's how the awards work. Will you want Angelina Jolie to get nominated

for fucking, I can't think of an Angelina. I just assumed it was. You want Sigourney Weaver to win this year for girl is in the midst? No, it's over, okay? That was a different year. By the way, the answer is yes. I do want her win.

For those of you missing. I thought it was just anything since the last grab. No, no, no. Okay. You did not think that because we've already had the arguments. You know, you husband me a lot. You do a lot of husbandy things you think, where we have an argument and then you say, okay, and then you just do what you want anyway. And then you act like you never never that never happens the other way around. Never. I'm my apologies. I'm never happy. I'm perfect. I'm a good driver and I know how to get places. So stop fucking.

Well, stop fucking lying to the people. Okay. Okay, Mr. Rondle, care. Okay, Ben, fucking nominating Annie for the best musical of 2023. Heck, yes. I know, just kind of like making your point, aren't I? No, it's fine. All right, let's go. I know I do remember the argument, but I.

You don't care. So I'm just saying, you have spent in me here. You're like, what's he gonna do? Check. You know, how about next time, how about next time you look at the ballot and then you bring up these issues. I did look at the ballot, but there's 90,000 things on there. What does too much?

Oh, well, you know what? You know what, Peter? Well, then I'm sorry. Then the lawyer stays. The lawyer stays. The lawyer stays. And you know what? Next time, Cashew's writing these nominations, Sigourney fucking weaver, that's it. You know what? You know what? It's, you know what? It's, it's, it's, people will be happy. They like the nominations. Well, they're in the wrong year, okay? They're gonna, they're gonna, they're gonna, well, let me tell you something. Ed Sheeran, Ed Sheeran was nominated for best song in like the 2014 Grammys and the 2015 Grammys

is nominated for best, best new artist. Now how can you be a best new artist when you're already nominated for a major category the year before? I don't know, but the point is that award shows Sometimes the nomination process is fluid. That's all. Okay, Ben. You know what? I'm gonna be like a regular husband and do what any smart husband does to a wife that he loves. You're right. You're right. You're right. Here's why it's fluid because the lawyer scene was so amazing and so good and the truth

is by the time it gets the next crappy is no, it's going to remember. You're right. We're like right now. Right now people are understanding the brilliance of this show and by then they won't. And I think that that is absolute gospel. And I kind of feel like it was worth fudging the rules to acknowledge that moment. I think it was too.

But it's not worth fudging the rules to acknowledge Adriana Song. I will say that. I feel really good about the ruling, although now we have to think back when to that. I feel like it's not a great song. I'm gonna be honest. I would have argued that being nominated anyway, it's not good enough. Maybe there's a reason why

we forgot. Yeah, because it's forgettable. So most forgettable song of not not last year is so congratulations. I love that we actually got to a really interesting place for that. We have a few things. You know, that's why we last. We can just talk it out. Talk it out, find out, you know, you know, get to the real like, German truth, which is that Sigourney Weaver should have been nominated. But by the way, Sigourney Weaver,

if you'd like to come to the crappies, just let us know. Oh my God, I would love that. Oh my God. I would be obsessed with that. It was like the time I once flew on an airplane, I flew from New York to LA and Sigourney Hoover was on my flight and she was sitting in obviously first class.

And I just remember at one point, she got up from her seat and she had seat head. Her hair was flat on the back because of the seat. And I was like, God, Sigourney Weaver can do it all. She's Sigourney Weaver with flat hair on the back. It's just such a special image I have in my brain. I feel like I got to see something like, like, Sigourney Weaver with like, Flattie on the back, it's just like such a special image I have in my brain. I feel like I got this season, like,

that's not something that gets shared, you know. Did you sniff her? I would have, gosh, I would have. God, I want to sniff her. I just want to know what kind of lotion she uses. I just feel like she's a lotion person. I feel like she says, I bet like you ask her, what sort of lotion she just smarks and goes,

it's just dial. Yeah, but you know it's not, you know, kind of love her. Okay. So where are we? Um, so no one believes in our adrenous bulls. That's where we are. We're in our dreams. Yeah, it's just, it's just taking advantage of the workers now. She's just being carried around.

Now she's writing piggyback on one and Marisol's like this is just one of Adrian and Steph me a moment So now they're having drinks and going to the water and Kiki's going topless and They're all giggling and having girl time. So now Adrian and Julia are talking and Adrian that goes that was fun ride right babe.? She goes, oh yes, with your song. She goes, yeah, we were on the boat dancing on my song. And that was the breakthrough. My song was the true healing power of this trip.

Yes, that's really what did it. And then Alexa, and then Alexa goes, oh well, you know, just because I think Adriana's an asshole, doesn't mean I can't recognize a hit when I hear one. Wait a second, we didn't say it was a hit. Wait a second, you guys got a log. I like that she's like, she's like, she's like an almost famous officer.

Like, hey, this is a hit. Put this person on stage. Yeah. So Adriana's like, look at them all out there swimming, not checking on me It's been like this for years. I'm not surprised. I don't care. I've been pain I thought your song just healed everything. I know I know and then the women after their swimming they come back and sit with Adriana and she goes

Can I say something to you guys? Thank you so much I felt so happy to see everyone dancing to my song and healing because it's the ultimate healing power and having good time. You guys are hard tough bitches though, and so if you prove of my song, then I think this song is going to be a hit on boat radio, on middle boat radio. And Lexi is like, oh, we don't judge you for your musical balance. We judge you for other things. I could say. Oh, boom. Boom. Yeah, well, if anyone noticed, my foot was broken into a million pieces. She literally says a thousand. I was broken into almost almost got broken into a thousand pieces.

And Laura's just like, but it wasn't like the like, an Alexi says, oh, don't play the victim of the Adriana. Why do you have to do that all the time? She's, I'm not a victim. I can't even enjoy myself because my foot is in 19 million pieces. My photo look like Pablo Picasso painting. So like he says, it was an accident. She was, well, accidents have consequences. As you know, with Frankie, it's like, blah, blah, blah, boom, boom, boom, and like, so like, do not bring up Frankie, do not fucking bring up Frankie. And he

tried us like, accidents, accidents, and then Alexa is now crying now, because it is like terrible. Who's terrible, the paraphys is so Adriana. This is just so her, she's not getting the rise she wants. So she just pushes it and pushes it all the way until someone's son's accident. I mean, come on. A horrific accident. And Lars was like, who would compare her little nothing to Frankie's accident? The level of craziness is insane, mate.

I could have lost my foot. She, Adriana's doubling down. She's saying that her foot could have been amputated because, because, because Gertie fell on it. And it still wouldn't be as bad as what Frankie went through. And Mary saw us, oh, she's dead. You're dead in the water, my friend. It's like, oh, wow. What an episode.

What an episode. It's so good. So it was next week, the season finale. Is it? No, it's not. I don't think. I'm asking. I'm not saying. Well, I's so good. So it was next week the season finale. Is it? No, it's not I don't think I'm asking. I'm not saying I don't know. I don't I don't think so Oh, my gosh. So So what episode I already said what this was it was season five episode 14 I think right so maybe they're going to 16 like a full season

But wow what a good time so next week we'll be doing this show in Phoenix. So come to that, that'll be Thursday night. And then Friday we'll be doing the crappies and L.A. So hope to see you guys there. We're actually gonna get off and finalize a bunch of our guests and stuff to start making some calls. So we can't wait to see you there.

If you can't be at the show in L.A., go get streaming tickets. They're from Moment House. They're all listed at WatchUpCrapins.com and it's gonna be a fabulous night guys. Yeah, it's gonna be great. See you all there and see you all next week. Bye! Watch what happens with like to think it's premium sponsors.

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