Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Death, Love and Peen-nuts

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

Real Housewives of Miami's fourth season comes to a sad close with the death of Alexia's mother. Don't worry, though. Larsa poor shames someone at a bachelorette party, so it's not all bad. This week's bonus is a recap of Below Deck Sailing. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. We're on tour! Coming to San Diego and LA this week followed by St Paul, Milwaukee, Chicago, Philadelphia, Washington DC and Pittsburgh! Get our tour stop dates and your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com and find tour merch at crappensmerch.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello everybody and welcome to watch what happened. The podcast for all that crap that we love to joke about on the old brawves. I'm Ronnie Caram, Ben Maddleker's over there. Hi, Ben.

Hi, how are you? Good sweet guy. How's it going? I'm doing so well. Just, you know, it's just having a fun week already. I know. Right. I'm loving that.

I'm your anchor. I love it. Everybody, guess what? Today is the day for real housewives Miami. But later this week we are going to be touring. We're going back on, I mean, we're still on tour. We're traveling again this weekend to come see you guys. We're going to start in St. Paul on

March 3rd we're gonna be doing real housewives of Orange County if the Fitzgerald and then the next night the fourth We are gonna be in Milwaukee doing our first ever top chef premier recap. We're super excited for that Yeah, and then in Chicago the next night on the fifth at Park West, we will be doing real housewives of New Jersey. So go get your tickets for that. You can find tickets at WatchWitCrapins.com. We're also coming to Philadelphia, Washington, DC, Pittsburgh, Denver, San Francisco, Detroit, Columbus, Cleveland, and three stops in Texas, Houston, Dallas, and then at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival here in Austin. So go to watch what crapens.com for tics. And also, Ronnie, literally while you're saying this, we just got an email and Chicago is sold out.

Chicago is actually sold out. But if you have the capability and you didn't get a Chicago ticket, why not come see us in Milwaukee the night before? Because they're pretty close. So sorry for those people who want to come see us in Chicago, but it has sold out. Oh wow, thank you Chicago. Yeah, thank you Chicago. Can't wait to see you guys. And everybody also crappens on demand our video recap.

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Yes. And now I want to do my crap and smerch. We haven't even talked about our merch this week, but like go get some crap and smerch because it's awesome and cool. Crap and scratch.com crap in smitch.com. So, uh, and now it's time for the season finale. The season finale of Real Housewives of Miami, Miami, which of course had to be true.

I was like really choked up, obviously, because this was like, it was such, the second half of it was so sad. And this is the episode where Alexia's mom passes away. And you know, in the trailer for the season, we saw that there was going to be a funeral. So I was sort of bracing when they first started talking about Alexia's mom not doing well. I was bracing for this moment. But here it came. And of course, it's Alexia. Of course, it happens on the day of her wedding, of course. So God, but I was like, really emotional, Ronnie, how were you? Did you get a course. So God, but I was like really emotional

around me. How were you? Did you get a misdiad or am I just like a softie? No, of course. I mean, look, it's super sad. I mean, what a way to end it. My God. I know. Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks. Truly. But the good news is that the episode opens up with some really great petty fights, courtesy of Adriana and Larsa. And so we're like right in the middle of them having a fight at the Versace Mansion where Adriana has accused Larsa of thinking that she's better than everyone else, and she's there in this room, they're having dinner. And Adriana is like, you know what, that's the problem with Larsa. Every time someone says something that she doesn't want to hear, she hits below the belt. I mean, coming from Adriana, that is hilarious. You're literally coming after Larsa for no reason about the Kardashians, okay? And you're making me stick up for Larsa even for a second. That's not forgivable, ma'am.

And she's like, no, I don't. What do you even mean below the bell? I only do feet. She's like, you just did it. You said you gave her Xanax. She goes, you inserted yourself into this conversation. That's evil. It's evil. I have known you for more than 10 years.

I'm back then when we were hanging out, you already had this attitude that you're better than everyone else. Yeah, and Lisa goes, no, come on, no. And Adriana's like, you weren't even here, Lisa. She goes, actually babe, I was here. No, you weren't. You weren't on that season. And Marisol's just sitting there going, it is what it is, just on the side. So Mary Soul has had all of this like, yay, I ain't con, Ann or me. Look at me, everybody, it's coming from a letter comp. But it's kind of gone by the end.

I don't think she could. She didn't really keep it up till the end of the season. She really couldn't. It took a lot of endurance and this would have been a moment for her to have a big gay icon moment. But like, she didn't even try to do something like, you bitches are making my lashes fall out, something like that. She just sort of settled into a sad, it is what it is.

Yeah, I mean, I was expecting at least some below the bow. That's my love language. I mean, something. Give us some Jill FM interstitials. Please, anything. Oh, well, you were here for a minute and then you went back to Chicago and then to LA and then became Kardashians minion and then you came back and you were a high horse. Now Lars, because that's in your mind, which I can barely see from

this very high position on Manacurdus here, this imaginary horse I'm riding. Yeah, it's all in your mind. I've always been a fame chasing asshole. It didn't just start a few years ago. Yeah, she goes, I'm just so over with Adriana. She keeps trying to get me to talk about the Kardashians and I'm not gonna do it. Yeah. I'm just gonna get there.

I don't want to talk about them. I just want to look exactly like them. Yeah, Larsa, just a bastion of modesty over there. So Adriana is like, well just because you were married to someone famous You think it's just rubbed on you and like it's not true. Like you was an athlete not you and Larsa goes and who are you? nobody I'm myself Oh, there you go. That's the true Larsa coming up right there. That's why I say get off the high horse. You mean girl. You are a mean girl. And then the camera goes over to Loretta, whose big moment last season, last episode was that she walked through the doors and the follow up is her reacting right now with a, and that's it.

We never see LaRetta the rest of the episode and therefore the rest of the season. But she gets a chiron again. Oh, and Lars is like, you're bipolar, bipolar, you are bipolar. It's very sensitive. I know, wait a sec. Glad, thank you for using your psychologist degree there

to diagnose that. So then, Alexia, of course, and true real housewives fashion goes, oh well, you know, Peter, this is supposed to be my bachelor part dinner and like I'm thinking like, okay, we're gonna talk about all the drug dealers that we went out with in the 80s.

I love you since that, like, is an universal thing that we've all done. I was ready for the conversation to be about me, not about them. And Lars is like, you know what happened? Okay, you lost where you were because you were on like a boat or something. Like, I don't even know where you were living. And you know what happened?

Like, your stock dropped. Okay, it dropped. And my stock went higher. So that's the difference. Larsa is not very good at defending the position that she is not above everyone else. The way to defend is not to say, you dropped in life and I went up.

And therefore, I don't believe I'm above you. I just believe that I am up and you are down. Okay. Yeah, she's like, you're poor. I mean, who are you? What were you living on a boat? And Adriana's like, you just said you're better than us. You just said it. You went up and obviously you went up and we stayed down because I didn't say we, I said, you, you went down. And Adriana's like, I think you were in this group of girls for one minute and then you went to LA and you came

back with a bot as big as Kim Kardashian trying to copy Kim Kardashian trying to become Kim Kardashian which you're never gonna be by the way. Which thank you first of saying it Adriana. I have to say I was on Adriana's side about this and I was really glad that that was articulated. And Larsa goes, I could break you down in two seconds. Sorry, you're tacky. Sorry, you're bipolar. You're an alcoholic.

Every time I see you, you're drunk. You must have bad vision as you get older because you're starting to dress like a clown. I was like, I appreciate it the chaos of that read, but I don't think it was a very good one. No, but it's your vision, bad. Also, oh dude, hey, do you have a clubfoot because sometimes when you walk, your gate is a little strange. I noticed that. Whatever Bunkin tell. Nice split ends that you have sometimes when I see you. You probably have

an Audi belly button, like a poor person. Hey, congratsats I'm not always having an umbrella ready when it sometimes rains and you get a little wet and then you get an umbrella out but it's too late because we already had our umbrellas out before you. The whole fight about trying to capitalize off Kardashians for fame cracks me up because at the end of Miami they always put on Kardashians on this channel every single time it ends with you said you wanted to be my agent but you only care about Kim mom. Laura such as in the background with like a fake mustache and glasses on pretending to be the butler.

Yeah. So Aether Am is like at least I don't sell pictures of my feet for $5 a pop which you would if you could. Okay. you tried. I'm not gonna forget about your little tutoring session. And Larsa goes, well, you look like your homeless. Oh my God. Like, I mean, just as obnoxious, you look like your homeless

and you probably should, you look like your, your home with your fat ass, girl by. Like, what? Fat homeless, poor and bipolar. Wow. This is classic Larsa. If people don't know why we've always just despised Larsa, it's just these moments right now.

Yeah, because I think Larsa's done a pretty good job this season of not being the worst, you know? Right, but she's the worst. Never forget. Yeah. So Adriana's like, my fat ass, look who's talking! Yeah, but mine is on purpose. My ass calls me a lot of money poor person.

My ass is in negotiations with a featured moment on E entertainment. And yours is on peacock. Whoa. So Larza gets up because she's so upset at least is like please don't leave and Larza's like Alex yeah, I love you. I hope you guys have fun You know what and then she tells us she has mental problems and it's going nowhere So guess what I'm going to get into my nice car go home and spend time with my beautiful children in my beautiful home Home with person nice car, go home and spend time with my beautiful children in my beautiful home.

Home with person. So Adriana is like, bye bye, Larca. Don't let the big door hit you on your big ass, but the door could miss it. Cool it. And then Marisol chimes into us and says, I'm trying to throw a beautiful batch of partying. Everyone's talking about everyone's ass. This is like, assing on. K.I. Con still?

Anyone? Steve's just too busy to write your one-minors. I mean, what is happening over there? Marisol, you gotta see it all the way through, okay honey? Like you did a good job in the first few episodes, but you got to like, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Yeah, so this is a Mary Solthon. It just like ends eight episodes. When lame word play over the word Astonine. Which is nothing compared to my Mary Sol joke I just made.

So, a Mary Solthon. to my Mary Saul joke, it just made me so, a marisol, um, but, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Bye everybody. Nicole is really trying hard to make waking up earlier personality. I have to get out of here. This malicious woman over here, malicious, malicious, malicious, marisol. So then Adriana's like, Alexia, I'm sorry that I, that I, that I, that this unfolded to your party.

And she's like, she doesn't have to do my wedding too. She goes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean this to happen. What are you talking about? You just started yelling at her? This true Analyze is like well, don't do that in my wedding. Okay. Yeah my bachelor red. I'm okay with it Like you don't don't search it in my wedding Peter. You have to have an even hard with people. Okay, like all you whether you know Peter Open up your open heart and Johnny's like, oh my god, let's regroup in 15 minutes everybody.

Johnny, who's been like sitting there with his hands on his clothes fists. Like, yes, he's like loving this whole thing. Yes, that's what I. So now they all get into pajamas. And now it's like late night, a bachelor at party antics. There's like the penis pinata's back. And like Alexia's sitting with the penis pinata and then Lisa walks in and just starts punching it And like so's like no, no, no, you can't do that be sensitive this Peter penis, okay be sensitive have an open heart

You have to have an open heart with penises You know they call it people sometimes people call penis is Peter's like my little Peter so like oh well, you know Peter He's sensitive too, you know, so you know that James Kennedy is sitting at home yelling slut because there's strippers. There's dick donuts I mean James Kennedy is very upset. I feel like I've never really seen the penis donut before and I think this is a great Advancement for bachelor parties because those donuts actually look delicious. There was like someone gave Julia Some sort of like a chocolate glazed penis donut and she was like how do I eat? And I'm like Julia that is the most delicious looking donut please enjoy that stop holding it.

Ladies stop complaining about the food you carry eggs in your purse. And she looks really confused about the taste of the donut. She's like oh wow. So then the first donut apparently. Yeah I'm never added donut. So then first donut apparently yeah, I'm the fratty donut. So then Peacole rusting peacole you do it like Russian don't have to end the donut And don't not pickle So, um, yeah, then a stripper starts grinding on a Lexia and she's like oh my god, no Todd is going to kill me

I'm Adriana goes this is This is lame. And Johnny Goss, he has feelings. He's a human. And then they show the stripper who's totally hurt. He's like, God, really hurt. I'm just going to go, I'm just going to walk away. So he leaves. And then they start kicking the pinata.

I'm like, I'm starting to understand why Lenny seems to be resistant to have sex with Lisa because she has a lot of aggression towards that Oversized penis. She's just pinching punching it and kicking it and jumping on it. She densed it last episode So now everybody's going for the pinnata and Mary soul saying guys look there's Duffin sign and they're like oh, yeah, so they look like the condoms on the ground They're like haha. I could have sworn. at like the condoms on the ground. They're like, I could have sworn I saw some like Welch's candies in there. And I was like, that's so marisol. Guys, we're gonna be around and put some Welch's candies, pinata. They're just

like yetty knockoff cups from Costco with glitter on them. Who wants some, who wants some smart and tinkesties? What are those called? Those circle and white things. Little bit of gold. Who wants some smarties? You know Marisol, but smarties and pinata. Everyone loves smarties.

Oh my God, I always resented those candies because I always got such bad grades. It's like, oh, fuck off. And also because they taste terrible. Who wouldn't know. Chucky. Chucky. I'm pretty sure there were some welches fruit snacks in there.

I'll go back. I didn't start hitting smarties in my mouth until I was an adult. Right thing. I thought about putting skittles in there. I thought taste the rainbow. How about taste the pillow, because I'm tired. So Johnny is, you know, obviously the one

he did all the planning for this. Like Mary so it's like, oh my God, I did everything, but this is all Johnny, because he's like, yeah. Okay ladies, next stop, now look, more awkward strippers to dance with. And then look, there's more strippers with champagne. Look, there's a stripper walking up the staircase. Like, okay, Johnny, Jesus.

Like using someone else's dollar bills for your dick. Yeah. I know, there was a lot of strippers in a lot of different locations. So there'd be a lot of this. And then it's like 4 a.m., and Lisa Hock seems like, you know what?

I'm hungry again. I'm like, yes, because of course Lisa Hawksyne is hungry again, of course. I mean, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that that's going to be an experience she has many times during the day. She's the one who asks the stripper for food. This is not a straight, I mean, this is, yeah, this is not a straight stripper. I was going to say this is not a straight strip club, but of course it is. I mean, I just as a gay person, I would never only straight people are

used to strippers giving them food. A gay person would never be like, well, can you give me some food? That's not what we do. It gay places, okay? Never. So now it's the morning and the place is a mess. It's a, an affront to Versace and uh, Juliet needs coffee so bad. And then Adriana's like,

Larsa's so mean. She's like, this is all mean here. And I don't want to, I don't want to start my breakfast with a mean-spirited person. You started it. But also I love the Adriana just can't eat breakfast with someone who's mean. I can't have a mean breakfast. So then there's just like Alexis calling Frankie and Marisol comes in and she tells Alexa, oh you're looking really hot. And like she's like, well I am really hot. Oh you know Peter sets themself.

I heard you on the phone with, Hi Franky, I'm some Mary's all the gay icon. He's like, gross mom. The breakfast set up, everyone hugs it breakfast. And Lisa is doing the thing that, like you know that Lisa does every day at breakfast, taking selfies by the pool. She's like, it's me having breakfast. Wow.

Isn't it amazing? Her hair guys in the background just like clapping, like you're doing great. So, so Marisol's like, guys, I brought this China from my house because my mother bought it for me 15 years ago and that's the first time I've ever used it. Wow. And you know, I feel comfortable here because I've been here with Madonna, my mom, John

Sakata, who else? So then we get a Bravo chef. Now this, actually, this isn't a bravish it's like a reality auditioning chef right he's like Ladies ladies and a guy I brought you kinds of caveat from Bulgaria Yeah, he's he's like a really hot guy who who is clearly hired to bring out caviar to people. But he knows he's hot and he's just like milking it and also just auditioning for the cameras.

He's just very annoying. And he's like, we got two caviar's. Okay, one is from Bulgaria and two are from Russia or something. And so Alexia tries, and she's, oh well, these two are from Russia. And this is the Bulgarian one. He goes, oh no, shit know like these two are from like Russia and this is the Bulgarian one He's oh Shit that is a breath of that is a breath of right there. No way. Oh, no

Stop it. I'm wet because he didn't even try the caviar yet. Just no, no, no, I'm wet the chair. It's wet So what are the floor? Kiki here's the hot guy you were asking for all season and then you're talking about the puddle on the floor. So he's like, well, and he goes, I can feed it to you if you like. And they're like, okay, he's just like, just sexually assaulting them with capy-r. So then, dun dun dun dun dun dun. Somebody's coming up the stairs.

Dun dun dun dun. Somebody's coming up the stairs. Dun dun dun dun dun. It's Larsa. Yeah, Larsa's not gonna turn down the free mail. So she's showing in and she has, she put extensions in. So her hair's from like longer and blonder. And Adrian was like, oh well, I'm certainly not excited to see

cause it walked down the stairs. Hahaha. Hi guys, even the poor people. Hi to all of you. Here Adriana, here's $5 to put in your cup. Good luck at the shelter tonight. She tells us I'm not going to let one little fly on the wall affect me having a good time with my good friend Alexia. Also, there's cameras here.

So then, Lisa goes, I'm still hungry! And I love that Kiki goes, God, you had two little things of caviar, of course, you're still hungry. Idiot. So, Laura's just like, I can tell that Alexia had a good time last night because she's beat today. Oh, well, I'm also a little uncomfortable with what happened last night. Let's get into it again so I can say, oh my God, I can't believe they're doing this and my bachelor at breakfast. Yeah. And Larsa has now spent the night stewing over this and she realizes that with Adriana, she's not really going to

get anywhere because Adriana, you know, say what she will, but she's kind of just like, like, she's just like a brick wall. When it comes to fighting, she's just, she's a brick wall. We all remember the very first Miami reunion, which I believe is what got them the season to pick up. It was just Adriana just yelling at everyone.

And so she decides, Larsa decides, you know what, I'm just gonna go after Julia because she looks like she's very, very weak. So that's what I'm gonna do today instead. Yeah, so she's like, I mean, I get along with almost everyone and like last night Julia, you said I wasn't open to you Like I mean you never called to ask me to do anything like so how could I have that kind of energy with you? Like when you came to me to when have you come to me to get to know like me or my family? When if you came to me when if you came to me like when have you come to me to get to know me or my family? When have you came to me? When have you came to me?

Like, when have we gone again? Oh, here we go again. Hey, John, the background. What else can I do to make you feel open? Like, you want me to give you a lap dance? And Julia's like, you're cool. If you want. Salar says like, obviously whatever I'm doing is not good enough.

I enjoy the- Every time we are sitting somewhere or having conversation, we'll never connect it. And I connect it with every other girl, but pull me back with the silly conversation about Instagram. I felt that you were making friends with me in real life, but it was not good enough if I don't have good enough Instagram account because I have four thousand followers versus a million what part of my entire storyline does not tell you I Am married to sports icon I have aching powers and Larissa not good enough because is that not good enough?

And Laura's like, That's not good enough. Pickers! Is that not good enough? She said, I didn't say your insta was an interesting. I just said you don't post. I mean, I just said that I'd looked at your Instagram and like, you're not active.

Laura, you're such a shallow asshole. Who even says that to somebody? Like, you need more insta. Like, this is your insta. Uh-uh. Like, literally if someone doesn't post, it's almost like a dream. It's like great You know if if they're not posting That's the same as them as you not following them so just follow and then you won't see like

So I think it's worse for her. I think it's worse for her to follow you Larsa because she has to look at probably the same picture I'm gonna look up Larsa pippins and I've actually not done that terrible. I'm sure it's terrible All right, let's do this. I'm terrible. I'm sure it's unbearable. All right, let's do this. Let's do this right now. Let's see what great content Larza Pickpins is offering the world. It's all her looking like making sexy poses, you know.

That's exactly what it is. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap of... Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Hi, it's Larissa Pippin standing in front of palm trees. Here's Larissa Pippin in front of a pool with her chin on her hand. Here's Larissa in front of palm trees. Here's Larza Pippin in front of a pool with her chin on her hand. Here's Larza in front of another pool. Here's Larza in front of a Louis Vuitton logo. Wow.

Sending you love and light, Larza Pippin standing by a pool. Oh, Larza Pippin in front of another pool. I'm a dog lover, are you? Just in case these shots of a bikini, of Larza P largely people in the bikini in front of Louis Vuitton science wasn't enough. Here's a couple with me as a dog. Please press press hard more times. Here's the picture of me. Once again, my favorite combination pool dog. They can't compete when they can't compare. compare emoji with a halo. There's her in the Mimi Leaks silver reunion dress. Let's see. Um, these are some face tuning.

Marsa, give me a freaking break. She's ridiculous. It's called personality. We go. I would say, I know. Oh, this is my favorite. This is from February 13th. So it's clearly Super Bowl Sunday. So it's Larsa sitting by the pool.

She's face to interface to look like. Um, what's her face from Raquel from Brandon Bump rules and she goes, who's winning today? Rams or Bengals? It's just her sitting on a towel next to the pool like nothing about this kind of it's anything about the Super Bowl or football or sports at all. Also she never changes her face every single facial expression is like her mouth is closed. It's not smiling and nothing's moving changes her face. Every single facial expression is, hmm, like her mouth is closed, it's not smiling and nothing's moving on her face. It just looks like someone smacked her on the back of her head

and ran away with her purse and she's like, hmm, there's a picture of her at a table holding up chopsticks probably from the show and her caption is, what was I thinking? I love L. A question that is yet to be I thinking? A low L. A question that has yet to be answered when it comes to Larsa Pipin.

Oh, I want to find the chopsticks one. And then there's one of her pulling down her jockeying pants to her pubic line like, look, I have a pubic line. And she says, been spending quality time in the gym. And then someone, some asshole named Mill to NASA says, fire, fire, fire, handsome, handsome, handsome, best picture, getting close to Promised Land and getting close. Who just taxed out on someone's workout picture?

There's one shot of her on December, I'm January 3rd go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one.

I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one.

I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna go to the first one. her with Lisa Hawksine. 2021, you were good to me. Sitting at a hot tub. Golden hour. That pretty little thing.

Like, I can't. It's all the same like generic photo with like an even more generic lazy ass caption. I'm, I'm gonna choose one more random one. Let's see. Okay. I'm going through the grid right now. And let's see. There's one of her by a different pool. Oh, that's just, oh, here's one. Her and her closet. Take the risk or lose the chance. Wow. That's Gorgah level to adapt. I know that was that was a big one for her. My last one is her standing in a bikini and it says, That was a big one for my last one is for standing in a bikini and it says

at the spending time in the gym wpu question mark The philosophical ponderings of larsa pippin wow okay, it's almost like frank ocean Thinkin bout you just he has a song I've been thinking about you so um larsa I can vouch you. Just a song, I'm thinking about you. So Larsa is basically using Julia of being like saying that Julia is anti-larsa because of Adriana and Julia is like, no, my thing with you is really my thing with you and what touched me personally was this thing about WEDLAC. I could not. And Larsa is like, but all mine like, I mean, all this stuff with Adriana,

like all this stuff that Adriana said about my friends husband didn't touch you. And like you weren't affected by that, right? You're biased. You're biased. Sustain your lane. You're biased. Larsa, so you're saying that Julia should be as upset that Adriana claims to

have seen Kanye West penis as she's upset that you saying that she's basically an aim like an un moral and unfit mother because she had a baby out of wood like that there's supposed to be on the same tier. Yes. You're you're calling her in a moral like, yeah. What do you? Who cares? Okay. So bias, you're calling her in a moral like yeah, what do you? Who cares? Okay, so biased you're biased and Julie is like let us not point the finger slarse like

Bias, I mean your bias got down Everyone says something, okay? You have two kids. I have four like I'm trying to grow my business on the ground Like trying to do what I can for myself. I don't know if you might have seen my most recent post that says Going to the gem of that W.B. You question mark As you go I'm not gonna cry because you guys are really fucking annoying and Adrian goes Okay, well you hit below the belt when you're upset and crocodile tears are not going to solve anything. And she goes, Adrianna,

she really stopped crying. Adrianna, we're done. We're done. Okay, I feel sorry if you, homeless bipolar person who has a crocodile coming for them apparently. I'm just sorry for you. Why? Because you're better than me? She goes,

Oh my god, if you really feel that, I feel bad. I feel bad. Oh, now you than me. She goes, oh my God, if you really feel that, I feel bad. I feel bad. Oh, now you feel bad. Of course, you should feel bad because you said horrible things. And first of all, I've been to 55 countries. I speak five languages. I have a graduate degree and I'm going to Harvard. I'm going to Harvard to see what it looks like and then I'm coming back. Okay. And she's like, and I don't believe that you're better than me, just because you have more Instagram followers

and Larsa goes, do I make anyone at this table feel like I'm superior? And remember, if you say yes, I'm not gonna get you a dress, okay? And then one's like, I was like, no, no, I don't feel like, you know, your superior or whatever, which is a lie, because Larsa totally thinks she's the shit,

because she knew Kim Kardashian at one moment of her life. Yes, and Adriana is like, um, no, you just walk around like you have a stick up, you're fat ass. And Alexi is like, okay, okay, now we're there. Okay, look, I don't know what's going on with Adriana. She's going too far. Is she mad that Larsa has a big ass?

Like, is she mad that she has big tits? No, big tots. I don't know. I don't know. Big tots. Big tots. I don't know. I don't know. So Larsa's like, well, maybe if you walked like that, you'd be more approachable. We're done. We're done. Maybe if you walked more like you had to stick up your ass, you'd be more approachable.

Like Larsa is too stupid. So, Alexia is saying, I don't, yeah, she is literally so stupid that she doesn't understand that metaphor. So Alexia is telling us, like she's looking behind her shoulders in the diary room and she's like, oh my God, is it around here? Because she'll come for me.

Oh yeah, she'll be like, did you talk about me? Did you talk about me? I mean, not that I'm scared of her because she's like five feet tall, but still. So Lisa saying like, so you're saying she's being nasty, but you're saying the big ass thing, that's unfair. Can I get a little bit more food here? I am starving, guys. Like Lisa, you literally not eating anything since the caviar. You know what the thing is? She's a very jealous person and she sees that I'm happy. Like I'm happy with my car, I'm happy with my big house, I'm happy with my beautiful

children and like their cars and their houses, which are also like kind of mine too, because I'm their mom and I have like a career. So like she hates me. She's just like jealous because I always have the best captions on my content like sending love and night She probably doesn't even know what WB means what WB he means So Adriana's like I am the happiest I am now I am she'll see and largely goes I am here you are here

Okay, just approve that I'm not above you. I am here above, you are here. Okay, just to prove that I'm not above you, I am here above and you are below. Oh my God, I cannot believe she whipped out the Kelly Benzumon. I know. Funny. Oh, here you go. You know what, you were gone for 10 years.

All I saw about you for 10 years was negative stories on the press that I have now clipped into my closets, onto the walls of my closet. Okay. And larsie's like, yeah, well, you never even made the press. Never heard of you. Sorry. She's like mad that in 10 years, she's had no growth. I had growth. Oh, well, no, you're hanging out with like Malik 23 year old who's like married with a kid at home. How about that? And Lex is like, uh, okay, oh, well, you know, Peter's, okay,

you know what? Like you're both very accomplished women. And at the end of the day, you're super accomplished whether you're in the press or not. And honestly, we should be talking about drug dealers we did in the 80s. Okay, so I'll start. I did it in the drug dealer in 80s. Okay, who's next? I like that Lars says that she's grown because she's been in the press. I know. Yeah. Well, she just calls me a nobody. That's not respectful. And Lars is like, I mean, I'm sorry you feel that way.

I really am. In Julia, if you ever call me, I'll call you back. I know. But at some point, or I'll have just like my person speak to you. I don't know. Adrian was like, well, I have called you and you didn't call me back. That's not true.

Adriana never. Okay, I didn't come here to argue. Honestly, I have called you and you didn't call me back. That's not true. Adriana never. Okay. I didn't come here to argue. Honestly, I came here to tell you I'm so excited about your wedding, Alexia. I didn't even know that you'd call me. Sorry. I don't accept calls from payphones. I saw an incoming call from cricket wireless.

Was that you? So she's like, Alexia, like like I am like so excited for your wedding and like literally only I literally came with like positive energy You know what I mean? Oh, well now the breakfast is ruined breakfast is ruined. It's like Adriana Beside I'm learning that no, ah breakfast is great. Well, you ruined my breakfast in Cheers everybody. Hey, everybody, let's cheers. Oh, and like I said, I just want this to be over already.

So then they cheers, and they get through the, presumably they get through their wet, their breakfast, because that's all we see. So then, then we just get Mary Sol and her diarrhea room going, I mean, it kind of been better. Do you know that nap? I was wrong with you.

What's going on? So now we see Nicole at home and she's like, I love a good bachelor party, but my job, it's just more important because I take care of patients even if they're malicious and I have people's lives in my hands, okay, which is innately very stressful and not malicious. I'm a doctor, a mother, I'm a partner, and I've managed to do it all,

because I have really good time management skills. It's like, are you just joining the show? Why are we getting this? I know, I was like, thanks for the introduction. Just like, my name's Nicole. I live in Miami. I have a boyfriend for many years named Anthony Technical.

We're in the season finale. You know what I don't care about? Marriage. Like, okay, okay. Someone update Nicole. Bring her up to speed. It's malicious. And then we get the most gaudy scene ever.

Anita, hello, it's me, Gaudy on the phone. Okay, love that you pick up on the first ring. You are airty scene ever Anita. Hello. It's me Girty on the phone Okay, love that you pick up on the first ring you are a badass go to the warehouse Gary's coming Okay, sit down are you they are you sitting right now? Are you sitting? I I can feel you sitting you badass woman sitting down right now on the phone with me Listen, what chairs do you have I want better chairs? Okay, that's what I said do it do it no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no And then that's like literally the entire scene. And then we go to Julia and Martina. And Julia is like, she's like wearing, well, she's, she's, they're having like a little date moment.

And there's just like chickens and goats and everything. And Martina's like, honey, where are you? And then she like, Martina like pops a corkscrew. Oh Jesus, I feel like I really stuff a graph that loud and annoying and got it all wrong. Be like my sexy breast Martina. She's like, what's not to like? Somehow I think we'll be okay without the girls Last night was so fun. I danced with little burly asked dancer guy Mike stripper It's a stripper not he was not a burless dancer guy Julia Stop just upgrading everybody in life

So Julia is talking about the goat. She's like, look how cute he is. And Martinez's like, you know, you I don't know if I'm looking at the go to the boobs right now, because those are some boobs. And basically, they're about to move into their new house. And uh, the animals can't, like the goat can't come to the house. The goat's not allowed. I guess the zoning is no goats and houses in that neighborhood. So, so, Julie has like, but I want goat in the house.

Can I have goat in the house, please? And I can't live without animals. Goat in the house. And Martin is like, I will listen. I love animals, not all the animals in the very expensive mansion. I am buying with my money. Well, we were moving to the new house. Anyway, what's for dinner?

Is it too soon to say goat? I could look basically what we're going to have for dinner. I also like, I love the way Martin I just sort of like shuts down Julia when she's like, Julia's trying to have like a moment of like, trying to like be emotional because she's like, I'm not coping with girls living to non-god country. And Martina's like, time to do some research then. to non-god country. I'm not saying it's like time to do some research then. Time to do some research,

which I'm assuming men like go find a therapist or something. Oh, I don't know. I wasn't sure. Oh my gosh, so just please get on the internet and stop thinking about things. Stop being emotional, stop it! It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial.

So then Todd and Alexia are having a drink in their kitchen and Alexia is like, I was like, can you reach, can you reach the glasses, huh? Can you reach them? She's like, I'm, yes, I can reach them. And they're all the way at the very top shelf. And she's like, you're very lucky. You have a total wife.

I was like, yeah, well, you're still a fiance for a few more hours because it's two days before the wedding. So Alexia is, you know, she's like sad because her mom is in the hospital and everything. And so then, uh, then Franken Peter show up. It's basically, it's like a family dinner, pre wedding family dinner. Uh, and the real takeaway here is that we meet Todd's mom, Inya, who I'm like, why have we waited this episode to meet Inya?

Because Inya is so like, Staten Island mom. She shows up, she's like, we have arrived. She is a deloist. Here we are, I'm in ya. I'm in ya. I'm in ya face. The original Inya. Yeah. Discelebrate your face. The original India. Yeah.

Diselebet your wedding. So they all gather around the table and apparently this building has some sort of like on site kitchen where they can cook for families, residents or whatever and tots making stupid small talk where he's like, that's the problem with this building. Yeah food is so good that sometimes you don't want to leave and go out for dinner. Hey everyone. I'm not buying a condo here. Thought. Come on mom, think about it. And Alexia is talking about her mom and how this is terrible and everybody's like trying to have like a fun night before party but it's really sad. And the mom's like, she is to the original Anya. Ha, ha, ha.

The original. Ha, ha. I love how you've like branded her the original Anya. The original. Like a burger place. Got the original Anya for a limited time only before I have to go back to Staten Island. Ha, ha, ha.

Cheers to the same. I said when you're sad and she said and they are sad. J-J-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- You know what before there was any there was in yeah, okay, cuz I wrote that shit sail away Sail away It's written about me get the fuck out of here. Oh, I would say that every time I got on the ferry I actually got I actually got banned from the Staten Island ferry for one year, which is a shame because the year they shot work and girl. Oh god, I missed the statin island fairy. God, we had some good old ways. Of course, back then the song went like this. Motor away motor away didn't and away. Ha ha. Get groped on the fairy away.

Get groped on the fairy away. Get groped on the fairy away. Neeswok. So let's go to Lisa and Lenny in the wine room, which Lisa has apparently never even been to ever. She's never been to ever. Doesn't know how it works. She does and she's like, ah!

Unlike K-MOOS. Unlike K--Moos, let's get that one. Can I reach it? Do I need a can open it? Thank God we installed the dry cleaner rig in here too to get the wine bottles. So, so the the door in the wine cellar is like automated like a supermarket and but the motion sensor is all the way to the left At least it's just like flapping our arms up to the right to someplace and Lenny's like, uh, it's over here She's just like Lenny's like where the kids they're out they're in bed. What do you think just starting school money? We think they're out party and doing lines. I'm sorry. She's ending now. Lisa's ending now. I know. She's at the original.

She's the non original. Original. Oh. Oh. So, so she's like, wow, that she's like, wow, you know, she's, that listen, big, the kids start school on Monday, both of them and he goes, really? He's like, well, I think that Ella's gonna love school.

Her name's Ella, right? Is her name Ella? My daughter. Yeah. He has no zero understanding of what I do. I think that Ella's gonna love school. Her name's Ella, right? Is her name Ella? Adora? Yeah. He has zero understanding of what I do. I mean, I manage the Med Spa, I manage the home. It's like a business. Like he doesn't even have school starting.

Okay, why are they treating this like the first episode? This, and I get that you like circle back, but. And Lisa goes, well, as long as he doesn't forget my birthday and Lenny was like, whatever. So then they like climb into bed and then they have this big, big old dumb dog named Jacks. And I was like, that's appropriate. The dog is named Jacks.

In fact, the dog doesn't look dumb. It's just that once we realize that the dog is named Jacks, we realize how dumb the dog, like the dog is like automatically dumb because it's named Jacks, right? And Lenny starts his old, wow, you know what I'd love? Another hawk scene. That's what I'd love. Just one more hawk scene for the world. And she's like, what me having more kids?

I don't know Lenny. Yeah. Like Lenny, where do you dony, way do do the season premiere story line and the season finale. Okay, got to work on your timing. So yeah, she's like, she's saying how she like she doesn't want to have another kid, you know, she definitely and you know, she's like, but don't you want to hear the sound of more footsteps running around in this in this household? She's like, well, what about your mom? Can we take her shoes off and have her run around? What about that?

Oh, so then we go to Larza at home. And she's hanging out with her sister. Her sister's name is not Larza. Just Arapela. Yeah. And she's like, kids, are you packed? Sophia, why don't you go maybe pack so I can cry about my original storyline, about

feeling sad, about Scotty, even after I confessed to cheating on him on accident two episodes ago. She doesn't even tell Sophia to go away until it's already become very strange because she's like, she and her sister have a, you're making me cry off, you know, where they're talking about like packing and everything. And Laura says like so much is happening right now. The divorce, I'm just waiting for the documents so I can doc you sign the divorce and our family will be destroyed. Did you hear that? So, oh my god, I can't believe I'm crying. I didn't want to cry today. You're making me cry. No, but you're like gonna make me cry because you like have so many roots.

No, but like you're gonna make me cry. Uh-uh, you're making me cry. So, it feels like this is awkward. Can I go do literally anything? I will literally do chores right now. Can I do the dishes? So, she leaves and Marsik has. It's like a lot of pressure and a lot of unknown like.

This has been our home like for almost 20 years. The little Scotty took his first steps in the family room. So Fiat chipped her tooth on the front stairs. I took a photo right over there that said, it's today. Oh God, there's so much history in this house. And now it's over. Is it morning where you are? Wink. So like by the Trump. Just her wind is gross, right?

So she's like I started going. No, she's like I have three weeks to pack up the house. Yeah, I feel like I feel like pressure like like pressure. It's like, I have three weeks to pack up the house. Yeah, I feel like. I feel like pressure, like pressure. It's like such a way. Like I just couldn't like part ways with this house. Like I don't know how people get divorced and just like move. And she's like, oh God, now it's time for me

to check my email, to see if the divorce papers come in. So the docuSign has come in and so she checked and she's like, oh God, Scottie's already signed it. And Scottie has been like, I signed it like 10 years ago. Let's be honest, okay. You're making me see, I'm like, I'm one holding out, you know, I've been waiting forever to offload this to her now. Yeah.

So she's saying, I just having all these mixed emotions, I've had a partner in my whole adult life. This is the first time in my life, I'm not gonna have someone to lean on. I can't believe this as she's talking about like the dissolution, the sadness of this lifetime of memories in this house, this family that's falling apart, the sadness, the emotions, everything.

And then on the screen, the docuSign goes, you're all done. Just so cheery. Congratulations, your marriage is over. The iPhone celebration thing that you press where just like confetti goes all over the screen. It was just so happy with the exclamation point. Like congratulations.

Everything of the past 20 years is now in the past. But you're making me cry, but you're making me cry. Like, I feel like this is like the end of one chapter and the beginning of another chapter. And we're gonna like... Books are hard. But I forgot my bookmarks, I'm really not sure which chapter I'm on. So then let's see, Mary Stahl is like two-pock move off the blanket It's our maze

Her little dog and an LV outfit on her maze blanket. Yeah, and someone on Twitter I love Twitter for this someone on Twitter flagged Marisol's air miss Clutch or whatever for being a fake because it hangs too low on her body and a real air miz is like up closer to like the the breast plate or whatever and hers was down by the hit bone. So there you go. Maybe Chewpac didn't mind stepping on that because Chewpac knew it was a fake blanket too. T-Pock knew it was a fake blanket too. So, Nicole called her and she's like, listen, I know we didn't start off on the right foot, but this is about Alexia.

Is she okay? And Mary's so it's like, well, I'm just trying to leave her alone, you know, so I'm not like really calling her a taxinger. And Nicole's like, oh, I just texted with her. I was like, ooh, wow. Wait, it's right down the gauntlet. and Nicole's like, oh, I just texted with her. I was like, ooh, wow. Way to break down the gauntlet. Yeah.

And this is when the episode starts to turn super sad. And basically, her mom was discharged from the hospital into hospice care. And, you know, they all start getting, you know, they're all, they feel terrible as, I mean, so sad, hospice care. And so they just, they feel terrible as I mean, so sad hospice care. And, and so they just, they feel bad and Nicole wants to gather everyone because this is

the day before the wedding at this point this scene. So Nicole wants to gather everyone together to kind of like, sort of like be unified for Alexia at her house. All right. So the, what the big finale was supposed to be Alexi's wedding. But unfortunately, it can't because her mom passes away now. So now they get they just keep the episode going and the episode goes like another half an hour, I think, or something like that.

And it's so, so sad. It's just the mom passing away and then Alexia crying and then all the ladies crying and then Gord, you know, Gordy, I keep calling her Gordy just because that's, I know her name is Gordy, okay? I'm reading my own stupid notes. But, you know, sad because of her family past, I mean, it's just so... We see Gordy getting the, yes, it's very sad. I mean, we see Gordy getting the text that the mom dies and like, we see like the raw motion on Girty. And then so they gather the women gather at Nicole's house.

And of course, Kiki, Kiki, no one lets Kiki into the front door like that. So Kiki, of course, that this is how Kiki sees an ends her arc is that once again, I don't know how many times she has not been let through the front door, but it just feels very cute. Like, just like, hello, hello. That's actually, she's feeling Lisa's storyline, because that's Lisa. That's true. She can never get into a door, right? So Lisa shows up and she's in like a lime green, like a neon lime green dress and everyone else is in black. And she's like, I hate getting wet.

Oh my gosh, should I have one black? Oh my god, I'm an asshole. I'm in green. How did she? Like everyone's in black. Everyone, I mean like, she comes at like, it's not just like she's oh in some muted army green or whatever or like a She's in like the brightest green dress you've ever seen in your life like Just the most greenest green like the green that you see in Photoshop

Where you think why are they offer me this green to use in this Photoshop? I've no one ever uses this green. Highlighter green. And she's like, oh my God, everyone's in black. I think it's a memo. Marisol's like, oh my God, you really need a memo for that? I think she does need a memo.

So, but also Marisol, by the way, Marisol's also, I thought was, she was wearing it look she's wearing black too But well she was wearing black, but she was wearing it look like a logo I was I thought it maybe it was Valentino's had like VLNT or something like that And I was like girl, why are you like brandishing a logo at this like this? What like that also made me give a little huh? You know, so Gertie sees Lisa and she says, oh, hello, green. Just oh my god, it is weird. I should have brought black.

I feel like I didn't as well. Cause you know Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, this is like her worst nightmare being dressed in properly. You know, she spends two hours getting ready for any like going to the to CVS, right? So I like to be the wearing the wrong thing at a memorial experience. It's just killing her. So Larsa also shows up very Larsa.

Lysica's, oh my god. Hi babe. How's the move going? She's, oh my god. I feel like I've been like packing like all day. Hi, someone's mom just died. Can we not talk about how difficult your fucking life is, Larissa? Especially when you know that she's not doing any of it herself. Yes. So then there's a Alexia posted on Instagram about her mom and Alexia reads it to us like sobbing, you know,

just super sad. Yeah. And then the women, the women at now is nighttime, the women, I'll have like lanterns. And they all are like casting the lanterns into the pool and sort of like making, you know, wishes or just sharing sentiments. It's like very emotional because many of these women have experienced, you know, very painful loss in their lives. So it was a very, it was a very lovely emotional moment. And Adriana winds up leading the group in a prayer where she's just like, you know, maybe watch over them or it's one of those very nice lovely prayer. And at the end of the prayer, Larson goes, so you're going to apologize Adriana. She's like, yeah, I apologize.

goes, so you're gonna apologize to Adriana. She's like, yeah, I apologize. Oh. So then it's the funeral day. And so Lisa is at home. And now she's got two of her gaze dressing her. And she's like, okay, it's a threat. Okay, look, it's a funeral. So you have to look conservative. Okay, you have to dress conservatively to a funeral. And then it's like just five seconds ago, Lisa dressed in lime green. And she tells us it wasn't a funeral. That was it. Come on. So then, um, then we go to the cemetery where, uh, where the women are, are gathering and I was also like, wow, these are like, these women are gorgeous by the way

I feel like just seeing them all together. I'm like it's insane how gorgeous this cast is So they're all they're all gathering and this is also the cemetery where Elsa was buried and also Herman is a herman or hernan forget herman herman So they're all there and then meanwhile Lexian Todd and Frank you are driving to the funeral. And Todd, they wanted, Alexia wanted Todd to find some plastic champagne glasses for it. And she's like, oh, did you go to party city? He's like, nah, I went to Tarage and to public. And she's like, well, for party things, you got to buy a party city. Just like, like, you fucking shit.

And she's like, but the champagne glasses were important to my mother. He's like, come on babe. And she's like, well, if you went to the right place, you would have gotten the right glasses. You know, she's like, obviously just stressing out. So she's, I'm freaking out. I'm sorry. Yes, it's obviously like a stress out like, you know, in the thick of so many emotions fight, but I love the form of it was shaming Todd for not going to party city. I love it. That's how it came out. Yeah, the ever classy party city. I love it, that's how it came out. Yeah, the Ever Classy party city.

She's like, the party city. The public is instead of party city. I mean, come on, dog. I don't know. I just want her to be like the new spokesperson for party city where at the end of the commercials goes, for party things, go to party city. Dog.

Dog. So she is like, I wanna tell you something, but I don't wanna say this at the service, but let me tell you about my mom. She was a cougar with nobody was a cougar. She never gave a shit what people thought. She should have said that at the funeral for crying out loud. Why not? Yeah, so it's you know, so then then we go like now it's after the funeral and the women are back sort of at this fence area. And Alexia comes by with Todd and she hugs everyone and then she has a really long

hug with Marisol. And it's just, it was so, it was very beautiful and very sad all at the same time. All right, so let's get to the end. I can't talk about sad. Well, it is. Yeah, well, we've arrived. We've arrived here. Here we are. So Alexia followed her mom's advice to Mary a glingon scene bites. And then we see pictures that they finally

got married. And it says unfortunately, don't, don't, don't. The happiness was short lived. Of course, that's a light. It was battery Battery missed a meter and I was hoping that like for every update it would say unfortunately It was short lived it's like Peter ruins everyone's update Unfortunately, oh well, you know Peter did something shitty and then we have Gerdy She's we see her talking on like a cell phone or something. And she's giving this really weird inspirational advice. And she goes, I'm not done a highway. I'm in a tunnel. I build your own tunnel because you will never be able to compare yourself to anybody.

My quake wet. Isn't tunnel vision, is it tunnel vision bad? No, I'm not done a wide open highway. Okay, life is not a highway. Life should be a tunnel. And you shut your own tunnel because you'll never be able to have a better tunnel than anyone else unless you believe in your own tunnel. So you know what I tell myself every time I don't feel happy? I say go towards the light, Gertie. Go towards the light. That's my inspiration to you.

Even though the wedding Gertie plant didn't happen, she did Gertify her way onto Vogue's list of best wedding planners. Unfortunately, Peter went and attacked Anna went to her afterwards and they retracted the article. Oh, well, he's passionate. And then we say, we see Nicole playing tennis with Anthony. And she's like, but honey, I don't want to move out of this house, you know, but it would be financially irresponsible if we got a good offer on this house and we didn't take her.

Yeah, even though the $40 million offer fell through on their home and then he came through with one offer Nicole always claims she didn't need a wedding proposal and a 10-carat ring. And their home was featured in an architectural digest. Unfortunately, carrot ring and their home is featured in an architectural digest unfortunately Pierre burned down the home the next day Peter crashed into it with this car starting it's turn to get into a fire in Ferno So then Lisa sees watches her kids run around and she's like oh my god They're so cute it makes me want another but like I don't know if I want that like I don't even know what I want for dinner tonight but I do know this I'm hungry unfortunately Peter Firebombed her kitchen Lisa spent the next night ordering in from Panda Express but unfortunately Peter ran over the delivery guy just as he was about to ring the doorbell.

She literally said that. Lars and Scotty are making bi-coastal co-parenting work after a long search to find the right home. Lars have finally closed on the perfect penthouse in Miami, and even though she sold her house for a 10 million, her feet are the real money makers. Unfortunately, Peter accidentally chopped them off with an axe. So Julie is like, as I am, I'm empty, Mr. and and I decided to embrace a new chapter and see what's coming next Let me look there's come there's lipstick eggs There is eggs in the purse

Julia and Martina finally moved into their home in Miami Beach and they bought bought a new farmhouse, and for the first time, Julia and Martina, it's just them. And she also got to visit her kids in Paris. Unfortunately, Peter shot the goat. Um, so, and through one of Larza Pippin's amputated feet at it, but right beforehand, it's a very strange crime. Oh my gosh. So then Mary still is like, oh yeah, like we're forever. I don't think anything

could break this friend group apart. God forbid. Is there any what around here? I need to knock on what? And sure enough, they hand her a wood prop that she she like a wood plank for her to knock on. And the end of season like she began it with prop comedy. Wait, is it too late for me to make a joke about how I love putting my hand on wood? You guys already turned off the camera. Oh god, that was my gay icon moment. Me to knock on what? Come on, don't ask Steve for what. That really stresses him out. Hosting. But my favorite part was when the credits were done,

it faded to black, and then it came back, and it was the original India saying, I'll see you next season, and then a little circle closed in on her face. I was like, wow, I love that teaser. The original India. The original. The original in yeah. The original in yeah.

The immediately. Well, Kardashians preview. All right, everybody. Well, that brings us to the end of the regular season at least for real housewives of Miami. Triumph and I loved it. So glad it's back. Excited for the reunion. Only a two parter starting next week.

In the meantime, come see us live, Minnesota, and in St. Paul and also Milwaukee later this week, go to watchrocrapins.com. And of course, get your crap. It's merch at crappetsmersh.com. Okay, so we'll see you on the road, everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think

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