Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Girl Walks Into a Barf - Live from Orlando

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

The Real Housewives of Miami trip to the Hamptons culminates in Julia barfing her way through a mystery illness (a hangover) and Larsa overseeing a massively influential brand summit with 25 people. It's high drama.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh my God, a lot of land, oh hello Florida! Hi everyone! Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh This is a magical thinking kind of costs you some money though. These years we're not cheap, you fuckers. Life is magic for a prize. But look, I got my little Lisa Vanderpump ears.

My Vanderpump rules colors. How much are these? She's like your house. What? It's mini. Did you get house. That's what it's mean. Did you get them at the airport? Is that where you got them? Of course, where else? That airport. Yeah.

I firmly believe it should not be referred to as the Orlando airport. I believe it should be called the, look, there's Olaf airport. Because I sat there waiting for the little trolley. And I swear to God, like, 10 different people came up, look, there's Olaf airport because I Sat there waiting for the little trolley and I sort of got like 10 different people came up look. There's Olaf. There's Olaf It's like the Vegas for children, you know because like on the plane on the way here everyone's like oh my god It's like little kids like spitting all over me. They're so excited Yeah, what are you doing here? And I'm like, I'm going to see my friend Elsa, you know, they're all excited.

Mom and Elsa. Yeah. Rest in peace. I've been specified which. Could you imagine those things? Could you imagine like kids, we're going to see Elsa today. Yeah, it's a town.

It's a town of magical ghosts. So I mean, Disney is all about the magical ghosts, You know, the cool parents always die right at the beginning. I mean, it's how Disney works. We don't know that, you know? Like, welcome. Welcome to the Magic Kingdom, Jill Jordan. You will never be happy. But it is the magical thinking goes a little too far.

My Uber driver took the wrong turn and we went down this dead end street. And he's like, I, he shouldn't have said anything because I thought it was part of the tour. I was like, how do I? Maybe someone famous slips here. I don't know. So then he's like, sorry, sorry. So he gets back on the road and then we're waiting in truck, fucking traffic. I mean, really everywhere.

So we're waiting. And then he makes the same turn onto the dead end road. No, I'm like, that's like it is something that can we go through a house. Like how magical is your thinking, sir? And he's looking really closely. Surely it's going to be different. Like this town is too positive.

And then you get on the plane on the way home and all the kids are like Fuck you mom That's like there are two years old like fuck you fuck this town. They say what were you doing here mister? I'm like I was visiting my sick friend Elsa Like just turn it on negative She was thinking of an ex-boyfriend when she was washing her hair. That all went down boyfriend when she was washing her hair. That all went to... Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b kids come by and stick the gum everywhere because I was I was going to pick up some like a snack and I hear a lady comes like barging into the like the the Hudson news she's like you got gum and

They're like no we do not sell gum in the air pressure like why not it was like Jennifer aid in what's wrong with your mr The gum I'm up in here. Yeah, my husband had him a fair, but at least he also had some gum. So they don't have it because the kids, the kids, stick it everywhere, because. Is that, I mean, you guys, you guys might, it's just because there are too many kids, right?

Yeah. Well, if you're going to do things to avoid kids being little shitheads, you shouldn't have it, it is me in the first place. You mean, this place is supposed to be what kids are, what you don't like about kids. I have so much kids spent on me. I'm gonna have kids go in.

They were all over. One little baby just kept poking up, like smiling the whole time. She ate the seed in front of me. She was like, she was like, She ate the seed in front of me. She was like, she was like, Guys, we also have to have an RIP for Teddy Melon Camp who is the first person voted off of celebrity big brother We were watching we're we're real behind we were watching the second episode backstage

No spoilers Sorry, sorry guys. All right, PB. Let me tell you something. When you talk about Teddy Melon Camp, it means there's going to be disappointment. So it's just part of it. Okay, sorry, it's just like the, it's like the ring. You know, I have to like send it forward. Otherwise, I'm going to get a phone call and in seven days, Teddy Melon Camp's going gonna crawl out of a well and be like, hi, it's Teddy. You wanna see a real look of terror on Naomi Watts' face?

Have Teddy crawl out your toilet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Teddy Mellon count coming out of the toilet like I counted your calories Say it to my face say it's my face We weren't just watching that backstage and just boo. I don't know if you heard like cows back there, but all it sounded like was Every time she came up I'm really excited to see how it all pans out because also Cynthia of God bless her. I don't think she knows what TV show she's on. She's like, hmm, like there's votes. I was like, it's going to be interesting. Cynthia's like, you want to be on a team? I'm on a team.

Here's who's on my team. And then she tells everyone who's on her alliance All right, we'll get to it. So welcome to watch our crap and The podcast for all that crap we loved is all about on you And he is our first ever live real house. So I said my amy-ray. Yes We had to do it in We had to do it in Florida. Had to do it in Florida. And by the way, also, thanks for waiting two years for us to finally get here.

Hi. Thanks, Florida. We don't come. We don't come. So the middle day, they will come eventually. Eventually. We are like the real housewives of Miami also. And that just takes us a little while to

get back to you guys, but we get there. We get there. This is how I think I'm going to lose weight. I have 20 waters. I still eat everything I see, but I drink a lot of water. Sorry people at home, there's a lot of water up here. I'm just waiting for you to fling your hand out, and this bottle of water to come. Flat crashing down on my laptop. I know. We all know. I know. We all know.

Watch a lot. I'm sitting here with like a Marisol khaki cup full of iced coffee. If anyone's gonna spill it's me. I'm like Ronnie. I can't believe you have a bottle of open. I've got this thing that's teetering in the small base and khaki. This is purely accidental. I was like, I want to have some iced coffee tonight. And so my friends, Neil and Nate, were here in the audience. They took me to a coffee shop. And I ordered a cold brew and it came.

And it looks like Marisol's khaki. Oh, wow. I'm just going to nod on the straw for two hours. That'll just be like my comedy. Oh. on the straw for two hours, that'll just be like my comedy. Mm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ago when we recapped it, I was like, fuck this song, and I'm like, I love this song. It's half the goodest gold effect from like, this song is great.

What was I ever thinking? I actually looked up the lyrics when the show came back on. I'm just like that, you know? So I was like, I'm running into the lyrics. And it's like, feel the rush, okay? Yeah. Because that's the name of the song. So that's automatically included.

But the rest of them, I don't believe her. I don't believe that they're really. It's a really is just like, I mean, the lyrics didn't make a lot of sense. It's like plain, tree rock. You know, it's like whatever. The entire song has the vibe of two people walking on a sidewalk trying to get out of each other's way, but they both go to the right. They both go left like, sidewalk trying to get out of each other's way but they both go to the right and they both go left like So we know the shows on peacock and it's hard for some people to watch, you know? Like how could you do a show on peacock? I'm like, you're paying to see, yes.

You can pay the... Peacock's way cheaper and better than us, okay? We know. And also, since this is our first time doing this live we have to give this disclaimer We know we're offensive is fact, okay? We don't these accents are crazy Well, well, we are just we're just trying to sound like these ladies. We're not trying to traffic and stereotype So you know, we're trafficking in whatever the fuck is going on here, and I love it Yeah, we're trafficking in Alexia and oh wellelino, Alexia. Oelino, Peter.

Oelino, Peter. The Cupid Theresa. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Oelino, I have a wedding coming up. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Oelino, there's a wedding and there's a venue and I wanna go like my car got a flat tire and then also has a tire that's just like

a little under pressure. It's got a lot going on. She's basically just my amy's version of America, Jane. Yeah, I'm under a lot of stress. I'm gonna be there. Okay, so let's get into speaking those for Miami. It's a big day on Miami because Larson Pippin is going to be dropping her new jewelry line. It's a droop of Larson Marie, which by the way, if you're kind of like half of your brand

name is sort of like borrowing like half of your brand name is sort of like borrowing from Shina's brand name, it's not gonna work. Shina Marie! Also, in this time of like such rampant like disease and stuff, I don't want a drop of larsomeoree. I'll take a drop of anything else. So today she's gonna be having a big like she's going to be having a big influencer event for people to come see her jewelry, which I'm sure everyone's been lining up to see, right?

You guys have the countdown clock on for that. So having an influencer event at the Airbnb she got. Yeah. And assuming that that Airbnb does not burn down, because the first thing we actually see is Lisa Hawksstein trying to figure out a stove. And she puts on a nonstick skillet,

and then she just cranks up, and then there's like an explosion of fire. I'm surprised we're facing just melt off right then and there. That is not a face you want by an open flame. No. Electric ranges only for you, Lisa Hawks, then. She's like, well, this is different than the one I have at home. That one has a human attached to it and presses the buttons and moves the pants around. It's hard being a mom.

I mean, I have Kiki. I love Kiki. I think Kiki is like my perfect kind of friend of for me and that she doesn't really do. She's sort of like it's beautiful and just flitters around Kiki, I love Kiki. I think Kiki is like my perfect kind of friend of for me and that she doesn't really do, she's sort of like it's beautiful and just flitters around and opens doors and be like, are you asleep? You sleep? I have to go kaka.

Oh my god. I have to go. You sleep. Oh, that's Kiki's biggest moment so far as. I have to go kaka. And she also had the best fight of the season, which is that she thought with Marisol about how does one milk a goat. So Larza is calm.

Can I do it with my mouth? They're like, I mean, come on, you gotta be smarter than mine. Who talks about milking a goat? Was there a mom? Mary's soul deep-throating props in her diary room every like look at me I'm looking at an iPhone. I just learned today that Kara top lives nearby and he better watch out because Marisol is coming for his prop comedy gig, okay? Living so much today about Orlando.

Oh, so Larza calls her assistant who is keeping her daughter, you know, and she's like, how many people do we have coming for the Larza Marie drop? The drop. The drop. It's a drop. It's a drop. It's a drop in Larza Marie.. The Drop. The Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop.

It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop.

It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop.

It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. It's a Drop. You know what, bracelet. Now that the Olympics are back, I had this great idea. Rings. So 25 people have RSVPed for Lars' make-or-break event. And they're all in this gassed, by the way. I know. It's like the production assistant, the intern, the Uber driver. They're all going to be there for the Larissa Marie drop. So Marissa Keke is going in like, are you awake? Like he said, and she jumps on Mary's soul in bed and Mary's soul is like, won, let me tell you, after dinner last night,

there was a massive party and I hear I was there. Just check gay Instagram where I'm an icon. And then we see a clip of Julia just getting wasted going, okay everyone we take shop like Russian, take shop with Peackel. We take Peackel. It's like stop saying Peackel when you're giving everybody a cucumber. They're different things. They are. They are very different things. So yeah.

Peackel assault. She was really... Peackel, Peackel, Peackel, Peackel and vodka. First you drink and then you stop drinking Russian style. So, now the aftermath of that is Julia in bed be like, I feel it now. Yeah, she's full on barfing actually and Adrianna's rubbing her back. And she's like,

Hey, Treyama, I feel it, I don't know what it is. I want to coincidence. Oh my gosh. That's weird. I'm in an emotional good luck, Adriana. So Adriana's like, oh no. I think those are a ditch. So Adriana's like, I'm going to get you some help.

I'm going to get you some help. I'm going to get you some help. I'm going to get I. That's the only thing that we're all. So she's running around and she goes to the producers and she's like, she has throwing up and diarrhea. No, stop. That's not what every model wants to be put out into peacock. She has diarrhea, non-stop, explosive diarrhea. If you ever do that to me, I swear I don't care. I would be honored

if you did it for me. I would be honored. If you ever. If you ever tell people about my diarrhea. You ever tell people about diarrhea that's what cost you more than a pickle. It will cost you a lot. Good. So Adriana tells us the backstory of the throwing up. So I woke up at 4 in the morning and she was throwing up. And then we get a flashback up.

They're there, they're there. No, it's okay. I could just talk about vomit flowers. You said, because I was about to be like, guys, did I tell you about my Uber ride? No, it was just funny, because Julia is like, this flashback, Julia is like puking and Adriana goes, are you throwing up?

No, it's just more of Martinez, tennis ball, or coming out. So Adriana is like, she's getting worse, so I go for Nicole because she's a doctor. I was like, oh no. So what kind of doctor is Nicole? I'm not even asking. She's a foodie. She's a foodie doctor Anasthesiology and anesthesiologist Oh, there's a lot of her story line. Yes, that is the best kinds Well, I love an anesthesiologist. Yeah, yeah, but still like she's dying. Good. The Anastasia Give the lady who administers drugs to the lady who's wasted, you know, yeah So Nicole goes and checks on and on her. She's like, okay, so when did this star? And Julia's like

It's like she's never thrown up before. And Nicole's like, alright, explain to me what you're feeling. Just explain to me exactly what you're feeling right now. And Julie's like, I love God and America. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I feel like chicken in copup hui's hangri. So, by the way, I'm not one to count people.

It's hacking. But my one's a lie. By the way, I have a working theory on the nausea. I'm gonna say purse eggs. I think taking eggs in your purse on a plane and eating them two days later might have something to do with it. Purse eggs. I don't know. I'm actually impressed with the, wow, people are really like, this is like a town hall, like I say, I say, gonna say, perseg. Oh my God. Order in the court. Order in the court.

Yeah, you guys are really into the perseg theory. I really believe in eggs because I get the... I get those eggs that are already boiled and peeled, you know? Because that's how I feel like I've eaten protein. Oh, I know. I know. I know. I know.

That's how I feel like I'm healthy. I'm like, look at all the protein in my frid. Like if anyone opens it, there's broccoli and bagged boiled eggs, you know? Those things last for months. Yeah, telling you. What do you do? I was drunk and I ate one, and it was from a long time ago,

and it was fine. It was good. Pedal a little mustard on it. See, Julia should have boiled her eggs before she went on the plane. I'm sure everyone on the flight would have loved that. No, I boiled my first egg only a month ago. Can you believe that? It's not a joke, it's just a silly look.

And you look that shit up too on the refinery 89. I looked it up. I had no idea. I'm not a boy of the egg. Yeah. Anyway, speaking of old eggs, I did you boil it. I want to know. I don't know. I'm a pineapple of the egg. Yeah. Anyway, speaking of old eggs, I did you boil it. I want to know. I want to know your math. OK, the method that I have landed on

is from Cook's Illustrated. And this is the class the show has been everyone's like, OK. I put the eggs in a steamer basket, actually. And you act, excuse me. I read it. No, I read it. Oh, oh, that was a snap of approval. It was a good me. I read it. No, I read it. Oh, oh, oh, that was a snap of approval. It was a good snap.

I thought you were saying, how dare you. No, no, it's a good snap. No, no, so I was an steamer. And the trick was, this is why I actually learned from my mom. The way to peel it effectively, because I tried all the methods, my mom taught me you take one flack on the top, you'll boom. And one on the bottom and go boom because a lot of their articles They do a little tap

Little tap on the way out of the sides. No big tap on the top big tap on the bottom and it all it comes off really quickly I like testing my strength in the crack like I hold it and then they just keep squeezing That life feel like oh and then I'm like yeah The rest with my dick. I'm Russian style. Well, we've lost our first two men. It's the egg talk I'm telling you. The egg talk, fuck this.

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You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Okay, so kitchen, yeah, Mary Sol's judging drinking. So now everyone's talking about the drunk girl, right? And Nicole comes in and she's wearing a mask. And Mary Sol's like, I mean, why are you running around the house in a mask? What are you robbing? What are you Batman?

What are you robbing or Batman? Or somebody wears a mask? And Nicole is like all over the place running around the kitchen looking for a trash bag So she winds up with like a salad bowl And Marisol's like a salad bowl How many cockies can you fit in that thing? Am I right? All right, toogie house

What is this? The seatbarf tation? One is this the seat barf tation. I'm gonna So and Mom So that there's a lot of concern about these like these vessels that are going off to Julia's room because so what's her face? Nicole takes the salad bowl off and so Marisol then she finds like a little trash bin So she picks it up and Larza walks in and she goes, why do you have a trash bin like she's like the judge? Yes, she's ever been why have a trash bin? Like, she's like the judge, yes, she's ever been. Why do you have a trash can? She's like, oh, because Julien's throwing up

in the cult, like, or a salad bowl. And it's disgusting. So then, I mean, it is, but you're also in an Airbnb. You know what people do to shit in an Airbnb? Like, you don't even have to be mean to this stuff in an Airbnb. People will take a pan and just like wipe their butt on. They're like, it's not mine.

I'm in an Airbnb, you know? Never trust things from an Airbnb, people will take a pan and just wipe their butt on. They're like, it's not mine. I'm an Airbnb. Never trust things from an Airbnb. So Larson of course is someone who stays in a lot of them. OK. So Larson makes this about herself. She's like, are you freaking kidding me? Julia's sick on the day of my offense. If I have to cancel, I'll be out of a whole lot of money, a whole lot of press, and my jewelry partners will probably kill me.

From when those 25 people I found at the mall, have to do something else today. She's acting like she's putting on the Met Ball. Yeah. So Mary Sol, what'd you say? Did he work for the Go-O? Yeah, more only for the Meef fans. More only for the Meef fans, yeah. I mean, that's my question. If your first job is that good, do you really need the second job?

Yeah. We all need to order more feet picks. I'm the only man. Support, Laura, so Mary Sol comes in and brings like the garbage can to Julia. She's like, oh, a thorough up in Russian. So she gives her the can. And she's like, here you go, Julie. If you need to throw up, do it.

Are you even alive? All right. All right. Oh, Martina had a go. Go. Go. She still is. You know how?

Whatever you're here. E-I-E-I-Oh. So then, Larza comes in. Larza has great bedside manner. This port, Julia is like shaking and trembling in the court. She's like throwing up in the corner of her bed. It's sort of weird. Like, she's like, ee-e-e.

So Larza comes in. I'm talking to cameras are everywhere. This poor girl, you know, we've all been this girl, you know? Yeah. And then the cameras are there. She's just like in that little crack between the dresser and the mattress like, she is. And Larsa comes in and Larsa, mom of the year, comes in. She's like, Julia, are you okay?

It's like, good friend, you always want to have you with you in your barfing. She's like, gross. It's an Adriana, she's now on the phone. She's like, hello, my name is Adriana from television, and I need to book a deathbed rescue, but like soon because she's like, she can't stop having diarrhea. Yeah, diarrhea, she can't stop throwing up. Please, get here as soon as possible We'll have a nurse to you on the double now. Don't say double. That's what got us into this man

Where's no mad MD when you need it am I right everyone? It's an Adriana's app person. They're all such a divas on the show. I love it because Because they're like, how long? How long is it gonna be? It's not the olive garden. Actually, it probably was the olive garden. Okay, can you bring red sticks, too? So then Alexia, of course Alexia says, Oh, I've been there, done that, gone the t-shirt. It's called a hangover. It's called drunk off your ass.

It's called, oh, well, you know Peter Peter he got into an accident and then I got drunk afterwards of course Alexia's been there done that and have the foot of the t-shirt of it yeah so then let's see we see just shots of drinking drink they're all they're having so many dream marisol's like yeah man she had shot mouth and I one, the Count Peeples, cockies. I'm here literally sitting there counting all the count down. So Alexi is like, she's drunk. OK? Look at the evidence.

These are the pickles. These are the pickles. Alexi is so really on top of that. Yeah. I mean, you and I would have diarrhea too if we went at the pickles like this. Oh, like you know Peter, one time he got into a pickle when he ran over a crosswalk, attended a school zone, and the cops took him away and he had diarrhea and gel overnight,

so there you go. Been there, done that, be sure. And then I find out I can't even have my wedding venue at the hotel I want because if people have diarrhea, they can accommodate them, them. So it's just like a lot. So Nicole's like, at this point, guys, we need to get her an ID. That's what we need to get her. She needs to be hydrated. And like she goes, no, what we need to do is we have to know how to manage it.

And she's like, I went to medical school and you didn't. I'm like, you don't know that Alexa didn't go to medical school school. Actually you would know because you'd be like oh well I want to go to medical school but my dad wouldn't let me so I want to be a lawyer but then my dad also wouldn't let me so then I wanted to be like a lawyer slash slash doctor but then Herman was like why don't we go to a gay bar instead and I had no idea. So Adriana comes in she's like I called for Rescue. Okay, I'm waiting for my buzzer to go off for my table to get here. It will go off soon.

And she's like, yeah, I think they're gonna take her to the morgan cream maker. Like it gets more and more than anything. And Alex, she's like, we need a plan of action. So then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so then, so So, lards, it's like, but guys, you know what this means? I mean, you call an operator, but then the operator calls the nurse, and then the nurse asks for the address, and then they have to look it up on Google Maps, because who knows directions anymore, and then she has to get in a car or God forbid a bus and

then she has to find this house and then she has to stand in all of how classy my house choice is and then she has to figure out how to open the front door and what her stairs this could ruin everything guys. She's a real fatalist that Larsa they've been. Soarsa thinks that Adron is being really extra about how she's handling Julia and everything. Has she handled a dog, a turtle, a plant? I want to know what Larsa has actually handled and taken care of in her life also, by the way. So she goes, she's like, you know what? It's not going to be 45 more minutes. I mean, she's so sick. We can't even put her in a car

to take her to the emergency room. Well, Adriana's like, well, we can call an ambulance then. We can call 911. Yeah. And Alexis is like, oh, you know what? I thought about doing that, honestly. I call it now, moment for everything. I call them for everything.

They know me. Everything. They're finding me a wedding venue right now. And I feel so much better. I said, I have a wedding emergency. They call it right up. I said, Alexia calling. Alexia News Network, okay?

They said, how are you feeling? I said, I have no wedding venue. That's all I'm doing. And they said, well, help you, you know? And you know what? They're gonna pick me up. E.C.S.S. that. Everything I called them for.

So then Nicole is telling Julia. Julia, you really need to get some help. You're really sick. Okay, thanks, doctor. What are you doing here? I just here to check on you. It looks really bad for you. So, Adriana gets on, I'm not gonna launch.

She's like, hello, it's Adriana. My friends have diarrhea since 4am. Diary, yes, diarrhea. The poopy guy. The big wet poopy guy. Everywhere. Hey, I want ponies with my wedding. Tell them I want ponies with my wedding.

Tell them. And Alexia wants ponies. So then everyone has now, like Julia's like, ah! And all the women are now in the room. And Larson, they're all, they all have to mask up, right? Because they don't know what's going on. They're all on masks. And Larson, mask up right because they don't know what's going on they're all on mass and larson

have been as they can do paper towels god bless her god oh god it but you got a boo on that one so a tree on a snap I mean this is all Julia barfing by the way this a lot of the so should we have warned you did we have warned you we're gonna do two hours on a lady barfing up pickles. Thanks for coming. It works for me. It works for me.

It works for me. So she's sitting with Julia again, and Nicole's like, don't worry, if you don't die, they're gonna have an IV here. So, okay, it's like a raise. And Adriana's like, 911 is coming, and they're coming with an IV. And the girls are like, I've never heard of that.

Have you, Larza? And now they're fighting over whether ambulance have IVs. And then Gerdy is shockingly Gerdy is not in part of this, which she must have been sleeping in or something. Because Gerdy is like, got to make up for lost time. And she runs and she's like, I hear it comes to Gerdy hug. Gerdy hug! And then Adriana is like, I hear it comes to Gradyhaw. Gradyhaw! So that's what everyone is like.

Everyone, this is not circus attraction. And at least so lowers from the ceiling on like a trap piece. And a boostier. She's like, my fetish is chewy. Ha ha ha ha ha. Chewy as my fetish. So the EMT finally comes. And I'll say it could have been kind of slow down

because they're like like what's wrong? Cuz their voice is all like you know, they don't they like really do not want to be associated with this show They're like tell us where you're hurt. Why are you vomiting so much reunion Ramona singer? I didn't really buy this medic either, but you know, I don't know, but I don't, he didn't seem like a Hampton's medic, you know. I just feel like the Hampton is so fancy, they'd be like, no, are you feeling? Something wrong? What can I do? It's like Bill, you know, like from Jersey, like, anything wrong, anything I can help him with. I just, they probably, they probably, some like some old Navy cargo shorts from like six years ago and like a stained shirt.

He's like, and sick, oh yeah, he's like carrying a hose. At this point, the Hamptons probably has hired a whole other set of paramedics specifically for Bravo Shows. Like we got the fancy paramedics for Steven Spielberg. And we got everyone else for like, Real House of Miami and Summer House. Yeah, the Summer House medical division. Oh yeah, so I hear there's been a medical emergency. Oh, Julia, by the way, don't worry.

I know you have diarrhea, but you look great by the way. Oh, hi, 911. Uh, tell me how you're feeling. Wait, let me just say first of all, you look great by the way. That's how I diagnose you as, as Oh looking fucking amazing right? Yeah Hey Julia, do me a favor Ah, but you're wait on me

Yeah No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So, um And it, she's been throwing up and by Ria, I'm out of every hole in her face And Adriana, she's, I wouldn't say that she's over dramatic But she then goes, I don't want to she's overdramatic, but she then goes, I don't want to have to be the one to tell Martina

and her daughter's bad news. Oh no, she died, she died in pickle vomit. I'm like, I just pray that they're going to bring her back to the Julia I love. I mean, they're so over the top, this poor woman just has a hangover. But did you notice that the medic also refused to be on camera like they blurred his face? Yeah, and then they used a voice changer.

Because I use everything, okay. It's like, who's a stormtrooper coming to check on the room? So all the girls clear the room while Adriana is like, praying, you know. Take her soul. So then Larsa, now they all gather back in the kitchen. And Larsa tells us that Adriana was trying to give her a zana expert for her vomit.

And then at least by the way, the only one who's not cared at all, of course, is Lisa Hawksy. And because she doesn't really care really. I mean, do we ever really think that Lisa Hawksy is going to care if someone's vomiting? She's not letting that get near her glam that she spent five hours doing, right? So she's just sitting there still like,

she's like, what about my trauma? OK, I almost got the fire. So they're there. And Larza is spiraling because, well, she probably spirals in general, but also because, you know, her event might get destroyed by this, destroyed by Julia's vomiting. I just love Lisa's attitude, because really I'm the Lisa, you know? She's just like, I just didn't go over there because like, it's just too much, you know?

I mean, Julia and I have a different approach. Like, she shows her weakness. And to me, that's like pooping. She's gross. No one needs to know about it. And I'm like, I got her. I got Lisa. And Lisa's like, Lars is like, oh my god,

how is my event going to go on with Julia sick like this? It just threw off my whole day because like this it's gonna be a whole different level for my brand How is she gonna put out an assortment of bracelets on the roof? Crazy stuff. How first she has to bring the bracelets upstairs Then she has to look at the table and then she has to look at the table, and then she has to put them on the table, and now it's all ruined. I've got a poster board with my face on it. This could ruin everything. So Lars is like, oh, but don't worry, I'm not totally selfish.

We're also going to have a Lisa Ber party tonight to celebrate Lisa Hawks' team. The thing we've all been waiting for, celebrating Lisa Hawks' team. Finally. So now they're like, okay, well Julia, she might be dying, but you know, we have to get into glam. That's the most important thing. They all now are getting ready for this big event, the Larson Marie Drone. Still Adriana rubbing Julia's head. Like, Merik, is she still with us? And she's like, okay, listen, Julia, your vitals, normal, your blood pressure, it's normal. Your love, of course, not so normal,

but you know what, I love you anyway. Come back to me. Come back to me. Julia's like, thank you for taking such good care of me. Tell my children I love them forever and feed the goods. So then it's Gurdie. Gurdie comes up because this party is not set up. Why is this party set up?

This party, there's tables, there's chairs, there's a poster. What else does it need? Gurdify! It needs Gurdify ads. And here's how I Gurdify things. tables, there's chairs, there's a poster, what else does it need? GURDIFI! It needs butterflies. And here's how I GURDIFI thinks. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello. I love party planning. So then, now Larsa has to remind us that she has a branch.

Because this launch is really important to my brand. I'm in so many stores. I mean, I physically walk into stores. My brand isn't. I just really need to work hard on getting the name out so I invited a bunch of cool influencers who post about it. That's how you make your product go viral. I looked up some of the influencers, the ones that I could, and they all, not to be shady like this, they all have like 900 followers.

Hey, listen. You know, don't throw away the change you find in your pocket. That adds up into something. That adds up into dollars. Well, so arrivals and lards is like, oh my god, thank you for coming. You're doing a great job parking the cars by the way. I should have stopped by that table. And then we get, what is her name? Brett Grand.

Brett Grand, editor in chief of of SocialMiami.com. Yeah, she's like, Larissa, it's me, Brett from socialmiami.com. She's the Anna Winter of Starbucks. Yeah, and Larissa's like, yeah, I guess what? We brought Miami to the Hamptons. And the Hamptons closed his damn airport.

So Adriana is like by the way everyone I just called Martina and the Rata Lova to let her know that Julia's alive and well she's alive and well. Number two I told her she's in games. We got friend engaged. Now Adriana is wearing a neon orange story lead right? I don't know what's happening with Adriana, but man, I'm really enjoying Adriana this season. Are you guys or do you still, are you still like, Oh, they'll fuck her. You are? I'm enjoying all of them.

Yeah. Her face, yeah. Well, that's true. Well, it's a lot, you know. Wow, usually I'm the negative one. I love this town. Yeah. So that being so positive. Oh, moving here. Commissions. Here comes one right now.

Oh, wait, oh, I have a question. Wait, actually, I have a question. Um, did you guys know that Alexia is planning a wedding? Oh my god I have all this pressure like oh my god I have all this pressure and stress and like I feel like the wedding is like the most difficult thing to ever plan in your entire life. Like it's just like so much right now it's so much right now I'm calling 911 okay. Yeah so she's still going after about her wedding to Grady and Lars is talking to an influencer and she's like, so I really think my prices are good.

These hoops are like $450. What? $450, man. Yeah, but like, city's tiny diamonds. They're also on the inside because like on the inside of the lens finally the ladies like because they sparkles. Yeah, yeah. She goes, I feel like it's more important to have quality over quantity, you know. That's why I want to invite the right influential people and not necessarily have 150 people that I don't know

and also 150 people probably wouldn't come to this anyway. So, and then we get gay Max Vanderpump. Did you guys notice or Max Todd, I guess? But he looks just like Max Todd, this influencer and he's like, I'm gonna put this on so show. I'm gonna put this on so show I'm gonna put this on social. So now there's like a lot of like, you know how about people saying hello, hugging, there's a group of photo and everything.

And Nicole starts talking about how she wants to clear the air with Marisol because remember Marisol was like, I want to play a game. Here's a fun game. Who do you trust the least? Right up there with shoots and ladders. I just wanna play a little game tonight. Who wishes Nicole was dead and why? God.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And everyone's dressed in their bright haptoms colors. Well, I guess haptoms is just white, but like, you know, everyone's dressed in their bright haptoms colors. Well, I guess haptoms is just white, but like, you know, everyone is dressed very brightly and stuff. And Mary soul comes out in a black dress and she's like, I'm here.

It's like a slowly spilling beverage. It's like we're thinking commercial. Like, whether trying to make the coke look all sexy, and it's like, oh, falling slowly out of the thing. She gets your ankle, wow. But in real life, at the movie theater, that shit gets all over you,

because it's like, oh, so, she, Nicole's, you know, disinger, she's like, well, I have to work things out with her, because like, I don't know if she's Nicole's, you know, disinger. She's like, well, I have to work things out with her because I don't know if she's just old, so if she's losing her hearing, or if she's had too many cockies,

and she's ready for rehab. Listen, ma'am, I'm trying to be on your side. But your age and alcoholic shaming at the same time. Back it up. You better let back it up, bitch. All right. Wait, Rodin. back it up, you better back it up bitch. Alright. Wait, Roddy. That's old drunk pay taxes to run this country bitch.

Roddy, is that the first time in 10 years this podcast that you just defended Marisol Patton? I'm defending Tito's. Okay, okay, okay. So now like this event's been going on, but now the next part of the event is that they're gonna have this big sort of luncheon. And the thing is that the one person who's not there yet is Lisa Hawkson because she's been downstairs doing glam

for this whole thing. So they go down, so now they're like, so Gurdie has to go down and get Lisa Hawkson. And what that means is Gurdie walking down, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, stop, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, goating a staircase. There's a step, there's a step, one more step. One more step. He is that person. Yeah.

It's important to know how many steps. So, by the way, the photographer is the medic. Okay, the medic who came over is not like anybody want a picture. So Alexia notices Elise is not there. She's like, where's Alexia? I feel like every all day long I've been saying, where's Lisa? Like, where's Waldo, you know?

And where is Waldo, by the way? I've never seen Waldo. I've never found Waldo. Where is he? Who is Waldo? So they are all sitting down and... I imagine Alexia looking at a where is Waldo. Who is Waldo?

Waldo. I've seen it. It's called the Never Ending Story. I don't know. I've been looking forever. Is that Peter? Oh, well, you know Peter's here. He's here. No, that's not Peter. It's a drawing. Oh, okay Where's he? Oh? Well, you know, Waldo like I'm sorry that Waldo's lost, but you know what I have to make a wedding, okay? And so like it's how about where's what where's wedding? Where's wedding? So the girls are sitting at the table. And they also down for a launch.

And they're going to go, oh, well, I have to get ready in middle of vomit pieces and sink. I'm all I'm all I need, all I believe, I'm saying. And now the most important part of the episode, an umbrella fight. Top of the umbrella fight. There's this long table and they all start to sit down

and Adriana's like, more umbrella, more umbrella. I need more umbrella here. More umbrella, I need more umbrella here. More umbrella, more. Julia's vomiting, Julia has diarrhea, I need more umbrella here. More umbrella. I need more umbrella here. More umbrella. More. Jullias vomiting. Jullias diarrhea. I need more umbrella.

I don't want to have to call Martina and tell her I didn't have umbrella. So Lisa's like, it's me, I need you to stop. Okay, you have some sun on your back. I have some sun on my face. Let's just calm down. We're all getting the sign by the way Lisa is that type of person who shows up really late and since everyone's gonna be mad at her she tries to get ahead of the story by being mad at you first you know do you notice that you know people who do that so she's

already mad so Lisa's like everything's a problem everything's a problem and all Lisa here we go you know you could have been here an hour ago, Lisa. You could have been. But while we're talking about the kind of people people are, Lars is that kind of person to have an event at an Airbnb with two umbrellas. I'm like 20 feet of table. Only a few like this.

Like, I have to sign. You know, listen, none of us need to be in the sun. We all know that, right? Especially a real housewife. No real housewife needs everybody. That was it. You cannot put a bunch of real housewives out in the sun, right? So, Lars' answer is, just get closer together.

They're picked by me. This sun is blazing down and they're picking about the two umbrellas. I mean, well, all I'm telling you this, I told you. I told you. By the way, they told us the cushions are not attached to chairs. Like, are you guys even moving around a lot? Like, no, no, we'll be fine.

I'll just put that open water over there. All right. So these two women are fighting about like, I want shade. I want shade. And meanwhile, all the 25 influencers are just like melting the sun like, someone give us water. This poor extras are melting. I have been with a friend who's dead now.

This is what I'm doing all day. And you're going to take the fun. You know, I got here early and I told everyone, I get the shady spot. And now you come late and get shady spot. We were here first for Shady's spot. It's a shady spot fight. It's literally a shady spot fight. I'm very sorry, I just had to know where it goes. And Mary's soul just added nowhere, goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, like, well, what's coming out of my mouth? It's just, it's shit. Shit's coming out of your mouth.

No, that's coming out of Julia's butt right now. Hormel, perba, peris, everywhere. Everywhere. Lawrence is like, this is so embarrassing. I'm over here trying to get the media and influencers to post how beautiful my products are and I have a tree on it talking about vomit and pulling the umbrella away and ruining my business. Bitch can you stop killing my moment?

But I have to call 911. So Nicole's one is like, guys, this is Larsa's moment. They're our guests here. The guests are just like passed out. So Lisa's like, well, I'm sorry. It's not like I'm trying to be the queen of anything. And it's like, I'm gonna go check on that person. She's pretending to die. She literally says somebody could have died today. But that's not important enough. Okay, you Lisa,

you're the queen. Someone, Julia's dead. Dead. Um, so Alexi's like you weren't there Lisa. It was serious. Her blood pressure was 70 over speak now or forever hold your peace. Okay. The rescue was here for really, really long time. The medic tried to take the garbilt off my leg with his teeth. Okay. Race a lot of stress.

And Gerdy says the thing that she's like, oh, does anyone need an obvious moment? It was a shady conversation, literally. Ah! Gritified. She starts just high-fiving the air because no one will high-five her. So Adrianna, who's stormed off, but nobody follows her,

just is right back, you know, she's like, okay, well, she's still sleeping. So then they give her a seat with Mary Saul and Lars is like, um, Larsa Marie is a big deal. They really gave Larsa a lot today. She's really trying to,

she wants again, is like, this is make or break today. I have Brett Michaels from Miami Social here. What's her name? Mary so I was like, come on, leave us, come on, Adrienne, I'll listen. At the end of the day, you're both the only two with the guts to wear a see through doilys as an outfit.

Let's just kiss and make up. And Adrienne is like, then they just start laughing is an outfit. Let's just kiss and make up. And Adriana is like, then they just start laughing. And Adriana is like, OK, that was good seeing, good seeing, good seeing. And next time we shared the shade, bitch, and they were laughing. And now it's like a happy, it's a happy ending for this event. And Lars was now very happy. She's like, you know what, with all the great media attention we got.

Yeah. I mean, they show snapshots of all the influencers posting. Alexia. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b and she's like, I just show up. Look at us. Lars. She goes, Larsomari picked up some great momentum. And then we see a picture of her on the cover of Harper's Bazaar, and she goes, and I was like, what? And she goes, and because of that, I got Harper's Bazaar bitches. I think it's the non-adition. The unknown addition.

Guys, I'm huge and Guam so funny so now Now's a segment where everybody calls the husbands that really hate them My friends like that's the housewives standard right they're like hey, do you want to know about my trip? I'm like her these is best, because she's like, oh my god, wait until I tell you what happened today. Okay, a girl got sick. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's just, it's like a good side, like 10 seconds of silence.

And she's like, are you listening to this? She's like, oh, I love Marvel. But then Julia calls up Martina. And she's like, hello, my love. I am here, I am Marvel. Yeah. But then Julia calls up Martina and she's like, Hello, my love. I am here. I am alive. I was sick as dog. Martina's like, shut the fuck up.

I'm making Steffi Graf's house. I'm just sitting here outside Steffi Graf's house waiting for the Thai food to go. I ordered one pad Thai for myself and the other to smash all over the driver's side of her window. Bitch, hope you're having fun, honey. I had your goop boop on stiffy graph store step. Just waiting to see what happens next. And so Julie is like, okay, my team, just please tell the girls, it is not hangover. Okay, it's nothing of mystery illness. Okay, Trunkey talk to her later So now Nicole and Marisol now the big Mary soul

Big moment. So how are you doing Mary saw and she's like So how are you doing Mary Saul? And she's like, bemine. Because, well, it's been a tense couple of days. And it's our last night, and I genuinely want to have a good time. And I know we had heated words the other day. And you know, it was a stupid argument about the rooms. And I told Alexia, she was snappy.

And I felt like in response to me calling out your best friend that you guys tried to attack me at dinner and it felt really intentional. And I was all just like, ah! This is thing have a mute button! She's like, you don't know what a Lexia is going through. I mean, listen, whatever struggles you have don't even compare. She's trying to get married to her third insanely wealthy man. It's hard.

I mean, she lost her wedding venue. She wants a batch of Laurent party. She's still trying to figure out how to forward her mail. It's very difficult for her. And of course, yeah, but what you did to me, did her telling her that stuff that I said, that you said that they said that was done? Umbrella, Umbrella?

I mean, that was very strategic, Mary Sol. And Mary Sol's like, strategic, me, I'm the least strategic person you ever seen. Have you heard of my PR business? I just proved my own point. She's like, I'm not nasty and destructive. You're the one who said those things. I'm just repeating what you said because you're really nice, but you talk shit about

everyone. Listen, somebody's got to drive a story on this damn show, so it might as well be me. You're bullying me. You are bullying. The ever famous you're bullying me. Yeah, accusation. Are bullying. The ever famous, you're bullying me. Yeah, accusation. So then Marisol's defense, and she uses this a lot, but it doesn't ever make sense.

She goes, listen, I grew up in this town. I know everyone. Everyone, I know every single, she starts doing head to the bros claw hands too. I know everyone, including Pac-Man, okay? And then she goes, and guess what? Where there's smoke, there's fire. Yeah, but who's that the fucking fire? I'm so sick of people saying when there's smoke, there's fire.

Who said it? I always think it's Lisa Rina there with some matches. Like, actually, it's more like when they're smoked there's diarrhea. Out of every hole. Every hole she died in fire of diarrhea. Okay, so basically Mary Soul is not giving. So Nicole's like, well, you know, I can't argue with that one. I mean, God, the smoking fire thing is hard because there's smoke.

There usually is some kind of, damn it, you really got me. So I weren't care as dumb. She just drops her lollipop. Yeah, Marisol's whole thing is, I think you have making fused with someone who cares and I don't care, because I'm a gay icon who has lollipops and drinks with a straw.

So. Oh. So Mary Solves, like Mary's home, 2021, doesn't care. So, Evan Nicole thinks that my expelter, she's in the home on. Can we get a disco ball going? That would be great. Possibly some shared, not with a lyrics. I don't want my line stepped on. Do you guys, probably, put her Hunter and the I don't care box.

A boom! Who do you guys, I mean, I personally don't believe Marisol on this. I feel like literally, Nicole was the only one who actually was like, gave Larsa the benefit of the doubt, like ever in Larsa's ever, her life, and she was, and the only one who ever calls anyone hookers is Marisol Yeah, she does do that in this episode and last but you know what I believe it I believe that she was talking shit and saying oh my god We're gonna be on TV with Larsa. She's a hooker and a home racker, which is what everyone is

We all say that You can't get mad at labels. Otherwise, how are you going to know how many calories are in things? Labels are important. So now it's dinner time. It's Lisa Hawkson's birthday. The thing we've all been waiting for, honestly. So everyone's gathering in the kitchen.

Everyone's doing a low-rent version of the real house on the Beverly Hills. When they walk into a room on Beverly Hills, they're like, how are you? Why are you wearing the Beverly Hills? How are you? How are you brought the bangs back, didn't you? So they gather and this wine guy is there.

And he's like, I'm the head of bloody boss, Spanish rontan, like nobody cares. Like get your wears out. Okay sir. And Julia, Julia's back. Yeah, Julia comes in fresh and amazing. And she's like, I am back to life, you know, after getting fluids and IVs and sleeping for hours, I finally feeling better. I'm tough. I'm a Russian. I'm like, you're tough'm tough. I'm a Russian.

I'm like, you're tough in Russian, should we roll the footage of you in the corner? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH So please let all not that anybody I was sick from the rink okay I'm Mary so it's like my house was in a franzy And she's like I was not drunk everyone they took picture of my heart Yeah, she's like drunk people have like a Mary soul heart. So I was like the drunk people like oh Yeah, I was like, you know swirling the martini into the picture. Well she said that the EMT used came and did like an EKG. They took a picture of my heart, I miss my disease cause my alcohol.

So um, so, such a bizarre episode. So then Kiki, so now they're all sitting down at dinner at this tasting, which is the tasting, which is like a slab of steak over mashed potatoes, over a spare gas, it's like nice tasting. And so Kiki, Kiki's like, I'm an episode two, I get to say things. So she's like, I've been here forever and no cute boys. I'm gonna go back dry, no vacation look up. Oh my god. So she's like, so. What is your favorite sexual fantasy and everyone's like What like everyone's so shocked that she would say that and Mary's all like So Lexi is like you know what we don't like to share our fantasies

So Lexi is like, you know what? We don't like to share our fantasies. Only are wedding plans. So you know that Lisa and Lenny have had a big argument about this before because Lisa doesn't say anything. Lisa goes, my fantasy is my husband and I'm dreaming about him right now. I want him right now. Lenny Hawks Dean. And it's the only time this cast has ever been silent. So Lisa's like, guys, come on, isn't money cute? And they're like, he looks like record Ralph being created out of like Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Ah. Ah. Oh. No one knows. And Marisol is like, all right, this is my moment.

Let me answer this. Oh. Straws, we have to throw straw. It just goes up and down. So it ran. It's just like, there we are. Eyes, butt. So Lisa's like, OK, okay, but I do have a fantasy from the old days. I used to really love Channing Tatum and Gordy goes,

who? Who? And then the producer is now like a round robin of what they all think about Channing Tatum. And they're like, what do you think of Channing Tat Tatum and Julia's like? I don't know who he is kill he saved me from these three disease and Channing Tatum all taters are enchanting They are state flower of Russia. What is a Channing Tatum? State flower of Russia Channing is it boy is girl? Does it play tennis? And Nicole's like, he's my hall pass.

And Gordy, Gordy's just going, oh, oh, oh, you don't know who he is. What are you doing? The mystery piece of meat. Lady, who works for celebrities. So I have actually been, I've actually been actually team Nicole for most of the season until this point until this point when she says

My hall pass is John mayor I mean your body is wonderland that kind of how to lay pride I Will stand behind that. I review kits. I review kits. So she goes. She goes, I don't look what I did. I spoke to her as well as talked about boil legs.

Ha, ha, ha. Thank you guys for coming tonight with our hot takes at Bulldogs and John Mayer. I'm glad you waited two years for that, right? So Nicole's like, you know what, I don't have a type, you know, I just I find it be very sexy and he's super smart and every interview He's well cultured and he's well traveled and he collects watches Oh, but he collects watches. Why don't you say that in the first place? So the producer asked Mary Stolt do you think that Nicole can be superficial

when it comes to choosing her man? And Mary Sol's like, hmm, time won't tell. I'm not spilling the beans. You'll see, I've lived here forever. Okay. Exo, exo, gossip, Mary Sol. Yeah. What do you see me? exo exo gossip marathon

What do you see me your best friend is marrying someone with a garage that lifts the car on a list? Gayate So Adriana so Adriana's Adriana's trying to now have get in this. She's like, oh well, you know, she's like, I have a recurring dream about Brad Pitt and Gertie goes, ew! I'm like, I think Brad Pitt's like, universally like an okay recurring dream, you know. So then Adriana's like, she's like, I would wake up, drench down there, and then Lisa, it's already kind of like, and then Lisa Hawksine goes, my son looks like Brad Pitt, cuter though. No, no, don't do that.

So then it gets to Alexia her turn and she's like, all my fantasy is come true, always, always. I remember when I was little, I was obsessed with this man on the TV and I would kiss the TV and I would say I love you And then all these years later I'm married and of course Herman knows about it And I met the Beverly here told the Beverly Hills Hotel and I hear Boom he's right there like Benny Hill That's why Mary

Terman. I love what she said that she's like, Oh, I was like, it was Louise Miguel. And she's like, Oh, I would go up to the TV and I'd be like, kissing the TV. And I'm just like, imagine the poltergeist ghosts being like, we're going to come to the TV. Whoa. We'll go to your friend house, different house. A lot of coming ghosts coming to the TV jokes tonight. So then we get Larza. Larza, Larza. Larza is like, I don't have any fantasies. I feel like one time I fantasized about an actor, but then I feel like I got him. And then I

fantasized about an athlete, but then I feel like I was with them. I feel like my fantasies are like, I feel like they're all like, I feel like they're reality, but they're not like, I feel like they're not like Santa. Oh my God, I'm gonna kill you. Who's letting Larza talk so much?

So they're like, they're like, so who's the actor? And she's like, I'm not gonna say, well, his initials are MJ. And poor Kiki goes, Michael Jackson. I feel so bad that Kiki for one moment had the image in her head of Michael Jackson and Lars having sex.

So they're all trying to think of it. And of course, I go on to a website and I'm like, who are famous people with the name with initials MJ so There's me la jova bitch Magic Johnson Margaret Joseph's which I think would be an interesting crossover So someone just say Margaret Joseph's I said it

So someone just say Margaret Joseph's I said it. Oh, I'm sorry. You someone down there said Ben Affleck. Who said that? Ben Affleck. I'm hearing things now. So basically it's like so they ask is it Michael B Jordan and Lars is like I'm not saying you wish you wish we all wish we all wish but you really wish it was like Mikhail Jorif Makop like set up you know that you're lying. Was it maybe Marsha P. Johnson? I think This is just oh she's American gay liberation activists in dry Queen She's like but I will tell you. It was like he was in that movie, but it wasn't like the movie. It's like, imagine how he feels. I know. Listen, I think it's Matt James from The Bachelor. That's what I'm gonna say. But I like him. Make that made me so sad. Yeah. You guys don't like Matt James? What do you do?

I stopped watching the bachelor. So I don't know who did really bad things. So then ultimately, ultimately, they're basically like they bring out a birthday cake for Lisa. And they start doing like, you know, even though we had to sit through a shitty bracelet event, this is a great weekend for all of us, and they're dancing, and the creepy guy from the store

comes in, he's like DJ, you know, and they're trying to put a spin on, like, wasn't this a great cast trip, guys? Lars is like, I gotta thick DJ. So don't say that in this house, okay. The DJ. DJ pick the area, coming here, here, everywhere, crumb and here.

So the Mary Stiles, like, oh my God, we were literally living squid games. Oh, just an outfit here. Could you imagine Marisol and Squid games? I got a cut out of cookie. Oh my God. I know everyone in this game. I was born in Squid games. I'm taking your marbles. I know everyone in this game. I was born in Squid Game.

I'm taking your marbles. I know everyone in this town. I love red-like ring light. I know all the traffic signals in Miami. I'm at ringsus to the end of real-house on Good Morning! Next week, a fight about Kanye West's penis. Don't you mean about my friends penis? I'm friends with Kanye West. You guys, thank you so much for coming out tonight. We love Orlando, we love Florida.

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