Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Larsa-nic and Old Faces

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

The supersized part one of the season 4 Real Housewives of Miami reunion is a fantastic episode from start to finish. We love Larsa "Progressive" Pippen's curious account of her body modifcations, and we were riveted by Julia's tragic backstory. But most of all, we just really loved Andy getting pissed off at Lisa.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rabbits move? Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rabbits move? Hello, and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about. On ye old bravo television, I'm Ben Mantleker and joining me today is a man who is very athletic. That explains so much. It's Mr. Ronny.

Karen, how are you? Hi, BAM. Your athletic booty. That's why I was trying to get at. I don't know if it came off that way. Very, very athletic over here. We're talking about Real House House of Miami, which is why I made a very strange athletic joke at the top of the show.

We're talking about the reunionwives of Miami, which is why I made a very strange athletic joke at the top of the show. We're talking about the reunion, which was pretty excellent the first episode. Before we get into that, next week we are going to Philadelphia and we're going to DC and we're going to Pittsburgh. Philadelphia is actually on St. Patrick's Day, so it's going to be an extra rowdy and fun evening. So if you want to spend your same Patrick's Day with us, go to watchacrapins.com and get your tickets. We want to see you there. We want to drink some beers and celebrate that day. Do you see there are not a lot of tickets left? And on Pittsburgh, we also have tickets available.

So again, watchacrapins.com. We're excited for that. Afterwards, later in the month, we're going to be going to Denver. And then we have a San Francisco show, which is unfortunately sold out. But then we also are going to Cleveland and Detroit and Columbus.

We're also going to Houston. We end things in Dallas next month. We're getting to the end of the tour. But we also were just added to the Moon Tower comedy festival in Austin, which will be next month. And there'll be many, many huge comedy names. So come to that and see us there.

And lastly, get your merch. Crapinsmerch.com. We got all sorts of really cool t-shirts, there's pins, there's mugs, it's like really fun stuff. Very cool. It's nice to see some of you guys wearing your stuff. So tag us on the gram with your merch, and we're going to share you. And that's about it.

Crapidsmerch.com. All right. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Yeah, I'm having a running here, everybody. Yes. Let's go to some Miami. So reunion part one. This is a super sized episode.

Extra, you know, know extra long fighting episode. The episode was a fun episode. It was an athletic episode. Very athletic. It's much bigger than normal because this episode works out seven days a week. Yeah. That's why. And they start with the shot, okay, because Larsa is gonna want a shot. And we see everybody getting ready, and not a ton of getting ready stuff, except that of course Mary Souls here with her stupid, slurpy glitter cup,

and this one matches her dress. Yeah, there was actually, they kind of patted this, which is, you know, appropriate for on the show. They padded this a little bit with, like, we saw them getting onto a private plane in Florida, and then it's like hot and 81 degrees, and then they arrive in New York, and it's cold.

They really wanted to show the difference in temperatures for these ladies. I was like, wow, they're really, okay, they're gonna stretch this a little bit. That's fine, That's good. Yeah, but they wanted to show us the real wealth because Nicole has an actual private jet. Yeah. So they show up and Gurdie is getting her makeup done and she's like, wish me luck, guys. Take a look at this before, maybe, because I'm a good after.

Yeah. I feel like it should be that you say, take a look at this before, baby, because I'm a good after. Yeah. I feel like it should be that you say, take a look at this before because I'm just as good as my after or something. But then she's like, I look terrible now, but guess what, I'm gonna look amazing soon. Yeah. So let's go to the set.

Andy is exhausted today. Okay, I don't know if it's five in the morning. And Andy hasn't gone to bed for three days. I don't know what's going on, but Andy is exhausted today. Okay. I don't know if it's five in the morning and Andy hasn't gone to bed for three days. I don't know what's going on, but Andy is blood shot. He's exhausted and he's doing that thing where he refuses to even look at anybody on the set. He's just swiping through his phone. They're like, Hi, Andy. He's like, he is not happy. And so what he's just, he's not into it. And he's sitting there on his happy. And so, he's just not into it. And he's sitting there on his phone.

And on one sofa, Julia is actually in the number one position on the newbie sofa. Cause there's like the OGs and the newbies. And so Julia's next to Andy. And Nicole's like, oh my God, Julia, how did you get to sit there? I'd be nervous. I'd be nervous.

And Julia's like, oh, it is the photo massage promise. Ha ha ha ha. And he's just ignoring them. Like they're trying to bait Andy to be like, yeah, that's cool, photo massage is, he just acts like their PA is. Yeah, and Andy's just so important, like he does not care.

So Lisa is of course late, you know, everyone's on set and she's like, I'm not ready, This is not my fault. Okay, I'm just not. And we see her. By the way, it is your fault. Sorry. It is your fault.

Yeah, obviously. And Gerdy's like, I don't want trouble, but if you bring it my way and bring my doorbell, like ring a ding-ding, honey. You know, I feel like Gerdy in the first half of the season was like so big and it felt like she was causing so much drama. And then the second half she kind of disappeared a little bit. Did you notice that?

I did. And I don't know if she, I don't know what happened because that, you know, she really went for Adriana at that party and then kind of didn't. But also she was always late because she was working and she was doing a lot of other stuff So I think she just didn't have time to get dist by Adriana to make her mad at him Do have anything else, you know, because that stuff she was getting to with Adriana That was or Adriana was real stuff. mean, Adriana was being a total asshole, so it made her mad and that's where the drama came from.

But if you're not there to get mad at something, know what can you do? Yeah, so that's why it was funny to me when she's like, well, if you bring drama my wave, if you bring my doorbell, then wringling,ling. I'm like, well, but, good, you, it's like you, you like locked your door or something, I don't know. But, well, Adriana stopped ding dong ditching her and moved on to Larsa and the next part to a different door.

So people are like coming on to the stage and Larsa is like, I'm freezing and Andy is so bored still not looking at me. It's like, yeah, I'm freezing to yeah, yeah. And she's like, can I have a shot? And she's like, can I have a shot? And she's like, a shot. And she's like, yeah, because it's cold in here. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know what a shot. I was momentarily interested and I'm back to being bored.

Where's Lisa? And he really does look best. And Gerdy's like, oh my God, look at that face. Dun dun dun. Ring ding ding. You know what, I got God, look at that face. Dun dun dun. Ring ding ding. So much, you know what, so much is, I got a ring notification on my phone. Somebody just wringling dinged and he's phone.

All right, I just tore back, okay. There's movement at your door, okay. Wooo. So. Gankankank. And Alexa's like, oh my God, where's Lisa? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Oh, Peter, Peter, can you go get Lisa?

Where's Lisa? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, where's Lisa? Oh my God, oh, you know, Peter, Peter, can you go to Lisa? Where's Lisa? Oh my God, oh, oh, but you know, where's Lisa? Where's Lisa? Lisa is still in makeup because during the montage, like amongst the things that were happening beforehand, Lisa was doing things like, do I have to share a room? I don't want to share a room. I need to go over here.

She was being all these demands. So now of course, she's late. Yes, and it is weird that they're all shoved into the same trailers, right? They have like two trailers that they, two or three trailers, and they all have to share, which is kind of, you don't normally see that on this show, but you know, it's not the Bravo.

It's the peacock. So maybe peacock was like, no. So anyway, please, it's very confined. Yeah. So Lisa comes out on stage and starts turning around and showing off her dress and Andy's like, okay, there's no welcome parade We're all waiting for you We're all annoyed

We're all waiting and she's like, well, can I put my jewelry on? He's no jewelry and she says I can't put my jewelry on because I mean Put it on. He does this thing with his hand like He's like someone mad at like this someone's gone to Chipotle and then like their order didn, ugh, ugh, he's like someone mad at like, someone's gone to Chipotle and then like their order didn't come out right and he's like, it's fine. I don't need the cheese. Like, well, we can, we can, we can make it again for you. He was like, no, I don't, fine, just make it again.

Make it quick. I don't know that was exact right metaphor, but I still on principle enjoy comparing Lisa to Chipotle. Yeah, I'm still starving. either way, you know there you go So then he turns it on for the cameras. He's like I can't fucking take anymore Is the below that fucking adventure time now?

Just shoot me in the fucking head like a stick horse. Let's get it over with. Man, I've been waiting to say that for so long. Where I felt really good. You should have seen me before this start. I was so excited sitting here. I was like, ladies, take your time. Cause this could be a great day.

I was like, ladies, take your time because this is gonna be a great day. I was so excited. So hi, Oaxia. And Larsa's like, wow, you're giving us free feet. Oh no, he tells Larsa. Larsa, you're giving us free feet today. Because you're showing her feet off, I guess, and her heels. Yeah, she's like, well, I love you guys, so I won't be charging. Sorry, I'm getting major robot voice over here.

Can you hear me? Oh, I'm sorry. I can hear you. I'm sorry that I'm robotting up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the people. I'm sorry to Alexia's wedding. I'm sorry to Larza Pippin for my robot voice.

That explains why you were probably so confused with some of my jokes earlier It was probably just sound like robot noise to it Or they just weren't good. Yeah, that's also possible Yeah, I also let's go back to the Chipotle well I also like by the way. I also like Andy saying so we're sitting here in an homage to the side of Alexia's Batswret mansion also where so war was brutally and famously murdered Yeah, fun times so he asked Lisa's like Lisa you've had a watch what happens live Which I can't even believe I let you on did she saw yourself on television and then you realized you overdid the fillers. Lisa, no one stares at themselves more on Instagram than you and Larsa, I guess.

How could you just realize on television? Like what that is because they're moving pictures? Like what's the difference? You know what it is? It's because on Instagram you see yourself, like you see the mirror image of yourself, but then on TV you see like the real image. And like her fillers must look very strange,

flipptars ontally. My God, you're like a McDonald's patty, you know? Yes, you're overdone on the fillers. Oh my God, are we hungry? You know, McDonald's did use to own Chipotle, so I mean those fillers are like fresh guac for two dollars extra I can't wait to get to my side chips joke Now a biggest welcome to our newest house. Well, I'm cilantro rice Julia You look stunning house. You're cilantro rice. Julia, you look stunning.

How's your good Elvis doing? And she's like, Oh, he's so good. He doesn't have testicles anymore. I feel like Elvis has a different perspective on how he's feeling. Yeah, Elvis is like, well, thanks. Glad you think I would describe myself as feeling good.

Now that you have taken my testicles. It's a Shadow Madoor goat. A male Shadow Madoor goat. Yeah, so then we get a picture of her squatting on her goat on Instagram. She loves a good goat cuddle or squat photo. So then he asks if she's following Larza on Instagram. And, or no, are you following her Larza?

Are you following the goat? Because the goat, the testicle-free goat is now on Instagram. Larza? And Larza's like, not much content, anti-dow. I mean, I really need more content from the goats that I follow on Instagram. Although if a goat drives a truck, I might make it calm

while I show it my feet on only fans. I have a lot of goats that follow me on only fans, and they do a lot of interesting things like drive trucks, and eat tablecloths, six sort of a goat thing, you know? Gertie, do you need to change the set? She's like, listen, my name is Gurdie, and I approve this message. Hello, hello, hello, move this couch back.

Move this couch back. Okay, okay, hang a drink, okay. Welcome Nicole, or should I call you Mrs. Lopez? And because she's engaged now. Welcome Nicole or should I call you Mrs. Lopez? And because she's engaged now. And then he says, whatever she said was clearly not interesting because I didn't even write down what she said.

And me too, just wrote, yeah, nothing. She's like, and then she's like, well, Larza. Larza requested a shot, so we've got, Meris is coming in with penicillin. God bless her. Let's all send her our prayers. Okay. Lawrence, can you just explain what type of shot that you want?

Alcohol or filler? A little bit of both, Andy. Okay. So in what may be a new housewives tradition, Alexia, you've experienced the highest size and the lowest lows. And we'll be going back to you in every other segment. But let's start with your wedding! Oh well you know Andy, it was like magical and like so special and like just like what we wanted it to be like just between you know between me and like,

just like what we wanted it to be, like just between, you know, between me and like, tor- tor- and he was like so happy because he like really wanted like that more from the media. You know, he like he wanted like a small ceremony and like I want a big ceremony. Unfortunately, like Peter showed up in like a speedboat and like crashed into it and like five people died. It was like so sad. Wow, what a high end then. What a low end.

Because Peter was charged with domestic violence still don't see this boat charge on there, but I'm sure that'll come up soon Oh, well right. Well, you know like like the domestic violence in those are allegations and we're denying that and we're also denying that He even he doesn't even know how to drive a boat He's actually was never been in a boat before it's like Alexia. You just said he crashed a boat It was a hot air balloon. It was a hot air balloon. Well, Mel from Steiner points out that Alexia, this isn't the first time Peter has been arrested for physical abuse. This time it was a girlfriend.

Last time it was a homeless man. Are you worried? He has an anger problem. And she's like, well, the incident with the homeless man was when his brother had gotten in an accident and he was in the hospital dying of trauma. So he couldn't really deal with the pain. And look, I'm not here to justify or well, you know, anything, but like, I will be there forever telling him it's not his fault. You know, like, he doesn't have an anger problem. He has an artist problem because

he's like an artist, you know? And so like, as an artist, he's like very passionate about things. So like, you know, you can't fault because he's like an artist, you know? And so like as an artist, he's very passionate about things. So like, you know, you can't fault an artist for being an artist, you know what I'm saying Andy? Mm, Nicole, we got so many questions about your very public engagement. Have you picked a date? And she's like, no. I'm gonna need more from you, Nicole.

Okay, I'm gonna say that right now, the beginning. Although I did say that at the beginning of the season, and then guess what you produced. A lot more. Okay. I'm gonna say that right now, the beginning. Although I did say that at the beginning of the season and then guess what you produced a lot more. Yeah. You see? So I believe in you. Yeah. Ronnie's stopping so malicious. So she's like, we're just thoroughly enjoying the engaging because we're foodies. Okay. So we just been ordering food because we're foodies. So Andy's like, can I see the ring? So she pulls out the ring and you know, just Larsa is so furious Seeing that big old ring Larsa is like if Larsa had energy, she would have flipped over the table but she doesn't and

Gurdie's like wringling lean. Oh, here we go. Here we go so Andy asks about a prenup and she's like well, we haven't discussed, but I wouldn't be surprised because he is an attorney after all, Andy. And like, he's like, oh, that's what I was gonna say. Because I'm sure there's gonna be like a really good paper there. And it's probably gonna say, oh, well, you know,

Peter is innocent. Sign this, please. Well, oh, well, you know, like I told Peter, he should get a prenup, but he said, I'm just gonna get a nup. So like, that's what he did. So like, he said, he hasn't even gotten married yet. I'm just talking. So then Julia, so Julia says that she doesn't have a prenup, but he said I'm just gonna get a nup. So like that's what he did So like he said he hasn't even gotten married yet. I'm just talking so then Julia So Julia says that she doesn't have a prenup and she's like, I mean, why do I need prenup? What I

Bartina I will share all my chickens with you all my chickens Yeah, it's not that you need the prenup Yeah, I think that, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I cannot tell you how many languages I've read. Fuck you, Larza. You fake ass trickin'. I mean, wow.

So, he's like, what are the great features about being on peacock? Is that people around the world are all saying, fuck you Larza, the moment the show drops, it's amazing. And Vee from Spain asks, what makes you change your mind about getting married? Well, it was never about being pro or anti-marriage Andy. It was like pretending that I didn't want to get married because my manchild of a boyfriend wouldn't ask me to.

So like, I was happy before he asked and wrote a pretend race car and I'm happy after he asked. And I'm going to get probably at least that race car at the end of all of this. And he's like, well, what made him ask? I mean, that seems sort of like your thing. It was like you were the golden Kurt of Miami, which is kind of sad that that was like your thing.

I was barely, we were really stretching to find a thing for you, Nicole. I'm not going to lie. The foodie thing was not going to work for us. You were like the charisma free golden Kurt of Miami. How that feel? And she's like, well, you know, Andy, it's like the more you push Anthony, though that you must do something. But then if you don't push it,

then he like wants to do it. And so then that's why he did it. I got like my plan worked. And Lars is like, well, I can tell you, can I say it? Because like, I feel like I had something to do with him asking you by the way. Ha ha ha. Yeah, because like I saw him and I said something about marriage, so you're welcome.

Yeah, there was like so much controversy when I was saying like if I'm living with someone, like if I have a child and I'm not like marrying to them, like I don't want to play house, so like I helped. Yeah, I'm like what? I'd really like, don't want to play house, so like, I helped. Yeah, I'm like, what? And you're like, don't bring that up. And Larsie goes, it's not shameful. This definition is the state of being married. That's what, and Julia's like,

no, the way you said it, I don't agree. I don't agree. No, it's not shameful. It just means that you're a little sludder than we are because your baby's without husbands. It's not a judgment. You're just a whore. It's like when Martina went through a mullet phase. You don't bring up. Like if you really want to go into it, we can. I don't know if we should. Before PICO! PICO!

Peek-o! Commissions, here comes one right now. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber. A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows? It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. And Nicole is like, Larsa, you meant it as a jab, and you can't do that and sell a picture of your body and then talk about someone's child being out of wedlock because your morals, your morals, and she gets cut off. And Larsa is like, do you even know what out of wedlock means?

The definition is, oh, I know the definition. I went to medical school. and as we all know, wedlock is a medical condition. Your wedlock is connected to your knee bone, Andy. We all learn that. Okay, school. And Mars is like, well, I'm just making sure that, you know, like the definition of that,

because like, there's a definition of wedlock. And she's like, you don't bring up. sure that you know like the definition of that because like there's a definition of wedlock And she's like you don't bring up all you have child out of the wedlock because I think especially in your case Why why in my case, but like why is he a critical because you sell pictures of about for five dollars a pop You you are judging her. I didn't judge her. I just was reminding the world that she is a craven person with a loose vagina. We're not like talking about you right, Manjulia. Okay, I feel like I'd be respectful if I feel our time. Okay, well you know what?

I feel like it's 2022 and people become parents in so many unique ways like Lisa created a family in one way and Andy created a family in another way. You created a family by You know locking down an NBA player and we choose one so for you to make a comment like that a malicious comment really impacted multiple people that are sitting here and I thought like it was important Especially because some people just had wet lock's and they had to have that removed. Okay, so it's just really not nice. Alright, let's take a break. So then Larza whispers to Alexia, she's like, I'm like dying over like how funny this situation is.

Oh, well, you know, we'll be able to talk about it. No, but like the funny thing is, is like Julia's like, why is she like, you know, we'll be able to talk about it. No, but like the funny thing is, is like, Julia's like, why is she like, you know what? I feel like I'm gonna like terror ass up just as she understands what time it is because like, I'm not here to make friends okay. Like, I already have enough on this side. So, and let me just remind everyone, this and that and XYZ, okay?

Yeah. I love that Larsa is like planning on tearing Julia. Julia is like the nicest one on this cast. Like the sweetest person at least says of right now and she just wants to tear her apart. Like way to go Larsa, way to go. Larsa, always, always wrong. So then dressing room with Nick, Adriana and Julia.

Julia is talking about, you know, how hypocritical Larsa is being when she charges $5 for pictures of her butt. And, you know, that's such an Adriana thing to say, because Adriana actually did say that. She's like, you're the one who charges $5 for pictures of your feet. And Nicole's like, I mean, but the subperson who thinks

a resume is who you marry and how many children you procreate. Yeah. So then me, well, and the other one, I actually know I'm sorry. Then I think we just go back out to the stage. Well, or Marisol and I are at our add-on stage now. Did I miss anything? Did I skip something in my notes here?

Are we just going back out on the stage? No, it just seems weird that we're already at this place, right? I mean, we're 23 minutes into the recap, so it's not weird, but for us it's weird. So Nicole's... That was gonna be a good question. Yeah, Nicole and Julia are talking and Adriana is just standing there so jealous because she's not a main housewife, so she hasn't been out on the stage yet, right? So then we go to places and now Mary Sol and Adriana are brought out and Andy's like Mary soul

mother you've got a couple of couple of things. I'm fucking excited. I can't even fake it with this bitch can I just go home? I think the reason why we had a break so early in the episode was just to get Marisol and Adriana. I think actually mainly Adriana on stage, right? So Marisol is like, well, Andy, look, we all have the same damn shoe. We're all wearing the same shoe. Look, it has a sole and it has straps.

Wow, where does a bunch of gay icons at this point? And Adriana brought her lunch bag in case she gets hungry. And Mary Sol is doing her. Sipping, you know, gotta show her personality right out of the gate, that straw sip. Well, joining us are two women synonymous with the flavor of Miami, but unfortunately they're not going to be on camera. Instead, we have Marisol and Adriana.

Oh, yeah, let's turn with Adriana, because she's the only one that's actually living and breathing right now, not really even sure if Marisol is real. Okay. Um, but let's see, Adriana, you've been with some people as any guy passed the four months test for sex and as Jacob wasn't worth a weight. And we see that Jacob is actually their backstage and he's just like sitting there, like nervous and strange.

He looks like he wants to corner you at a party and talk about crypto. No, it's not. It's funny to the crypto stuff. I know you like to do crypto. It's not going very well right now. So you can say party and talk about crypto. No, it's not funny to the crypto stuff. I know you like to do crypto. It's not going very well right now. So you can say whatever you want about it. But there's some guys that just look like they want,

they're just like, hey, have you heard anything about crypto? Yeah, it's the thing. Like, oh my God, please let me out of this corner of the party. Yeah. Which is why I don't. Thank you very much. You do not.

I credit you for that. I've just cried about it a couple of times to ban. Like, oh my god, what have I done? So yeah, we get the backstage camp of Thursday ask Jacob with his feet on the table. And I'm still not buying this, by the way, not even a little bit, that they're really together. And Andy's like, and Mary, so you brought your cocky.

Cocky cock, and the, what are you drinking? I'm drinking Tito's and Oval Tane, it's wonderful. Well, ever since Miami stopped filming, people bad does to bring it back, and a lot of change, let's take a look. And we see some clips. And Larsa, by the way, with the moment he says, let's take a look, the see some clips and Larsa by the way with the moment he says let's take a look The fear in Larsa's eyes

You could feel it in all of our bones because Larsa's like oh my god. They're gonna show my old face They're gonna show my old face And then they cut to now where Adriana is like that but the astronauts can see it from the planet Moon. Larsa is pissed. She is furious. Well Andy from Ben tells his Andy, whoa I've never gotten a question that I were union before. This is crazy guys, can I have my autograph? Okay. Andy, how was the fan reaction when you brought back my Emmy I have to say wow I'm impressed with me guys I did good thanks me and he says well the

fans were very responsible when peacock was looking to develop new house I've said he's I said you have a very passionate audience of my Emmy fans who are dying for this show to come back. So why would we not give the people what they want? Their response has been over what we basically is saying. Like, like, he's saying they brought it back because there've been loyal fans. But I just love that like, the people who canceled the show eight years ago and then took them all this time

to listen to the fans. And now like, we listened to the fans guys. I'm like, took eight years. Well, it was so different back then. I mean, it really was so different eight years ago. They were getting like three million viewers, I think. I mean, it was something crazy now. You know, it was like a huge amount of views.

Or yeah, viewers. And that was low back then. They were like, well, it shows sucks. It's not getting any ratings when now, you know, the highest show I think has like 1.3 million or something like that. And so they're looking back like, wow, were we complaining about bringing back? Truly. And actually, I mean, I think it's ultimately good that it was off the R for 8 years because I feel like everyone is talking about the show. Like, I really am wondering how much the chatter translates to success on Peacock. Like. I'm really wondering how much the chatter translates

to success on Peacock. I don't know how Peacock judges, it's fused. But right. Just over this weekend, when we're in Chicago, we wound up both having simultaneous talks with our friends about Miami. It was like, I feel like I'm people are constantly talking about the show.

So, you know, I complained, but I think it's actually, I'm really happy for the show that it's, I feel like it's having a Renaissance right now. Oh yeah. And Alexi is like, well, I had these historical implants for 30 years, okay? Like they're not the ones that I have now, obviously, because like I changed them.

Mary Sogastin, did you say historical? Careful, Lin Manuel might make a rapper musical out of them. Am I right? Well, as you can see, my implants had little white powder wigs on them, so they were very historical. And she's like, well, the doctor told me it was a long time to keep my implant. And I said, I got a lot of views out of them. I would lay Peter said them between them and say, it's not your fault. It's never your fault. And so over, you know, I took them out and he still of them. I would lay Peter said them between them and say, it's not your fault. It's never your fault.

And so over, you know, I took them out. And he still keeps them on either side of his pillow, Andy. And you know what? Like, I'm happy. I'm happy that I had them because like without those implants, I mean, like, you know, what, you know, those crusades like wouldn't have happened, you know, I don't know. Did you ever hear of John, John, John of Arc? That's my implants.

Yeah, historical. Sorry. I really tried that one, Ronnie. I was like trying to make a ring mark. John of Arc. This is with me from Salt Lake City. Like, oh, Lisa did this. I was really trying to somehow like make a, I, well, first I wanted to make a John of Arc reference to Lexus Boo, but then I forgot what Joan of Arc actually did. And then I almost said Joan Van Arc and I was like, this is going wrong so quickly. And I have to see it through. Joan of Arc, Van Arc, Joan of Arc. See, heard voices from God and then ended up, I think, starting herself on fire, which is like said.

Oh, that would explain to me why my breast has been hurting so much lately. and then ended up, I think, starting herself on fire. Which is like said. Oh, that would explain why my breast has been hurting so much lately. That is your only joke. Okay. You see how apologizing is. Well, she doesn't apologize. She just says, you know, I had them changed. They're the same size now, but I didn't go to Lennie.

And Lisa goes, he's a poop goddow. She's like, I know, but I didn't want him to see my boobs. Because could you imagine, like, having dinner with Todd and I, like, I'm very old school. Okay, I'm very old school. Yes, it would have been like so embarrassing for him to like see my little Benjamin Franklin, you know, like, it's just awkward, you know, when your breast has discovered electricity, you know. Oh, he is. So then, well, conversely, Adriana's boobs have been seen by Lenny. Made Rihanna shakes her boobs and she's like, blame it on the Lenny baby.

So then Andy is like, Larsa, we got a few comments about your change of appearance. Culture, meanie, I said, I know how Swaz faces go through many iterations, but Larsa looks straight up like a different person. Maria from Boston said, Larsa, why did you get all this work done? Did you think you weren't hot enough or did you feel like you had to compete with certain friends?

And L M Miranda says Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton. I think this was for you Alex. Yes, sorry. My name is Alexander Hamilton. Is Alexander Hamilton? It's Alexander Hamilton. Do you wanna be in the room where it happens, Larsa? Mm-hmm. Well, I feel like I'm like progressive.

So like, oh, okay. So now you're like a Bernie fan, okay? So she's like, yeah, like, so like, I like trends equal rights Whatever's new Gay rights, but like new things like really make me feel that higher taxes love that Education like free education I like I like better workplaces, you know, that's the workplaces and factories.

I'm really like pro new albums, but like anti-corporation, anti. So like feel like. I also love flow. All senses of the word progressive. Like if it makes me feel better, I feel like I'll vote for that, but like by mail usually if I remember What have you had done? I mean so much And she's like, I like my nose and my lips and that's basically it. I love, okay, there's a lot to on back here. I love that she's basically saying when she says progressive, what I believe she's trying

to say is that like she's up on trends. She knew that like big butts were going to become a thing and lips like this would be a thing and like a face like a lollipop is going to look like that. It was going to be a thing. But like she's acting like she's into trends. Girl, you aren't, you're a large, you're a large, you're a large thing and like a face, like a lollipop is gonna look like that. It was gonna be a thing, but like, she's acting like she's into trends. Girl, you are, you're a Larsa Pippin, okay? You are the trend of follower, okay? Don't try to act like you're the one.

Like, it was because of you that Kim Kardashian looks the way that she looks and that like all these other people are looking, you were not the trend set at Larsa. It's also weird that people are not, like there's no, well I don't think it's weird that they don't have shame about boo jobs and stuff.

I just think it's weird that it's like, there's no shame to be like, I got new boobs, but it's a huge shame to admit that you got your butt toned. Like she will not admit this, she got, and he says, did you get your butt? I mean, come on. She goes, no, my boobs say said,

just butch your butt. I mean, come on. And she's like, what about my butt? You had it done, right? No, she was, no, my boobs, I said, just butch your butt when he come out. And she's like, what about my butt? You had it done, right? No, like literally, I like, feel like I work out like six days, I feel like week. Like if I showed you pictures, like, I was a hundred pounds. And now I feel like I'm a hundred and forty pounds, right?

Like now. So yeah, like my legs look thicker than they were, but like my arms also look thicker and my whole body's like, I feel like now. So yeah, like my legs look thicker than they were, but like my arms also look thicker and my whole body is like, I feel like changed. So like progressive. Progressive. Age random is like, well, I think it looks different. Like, I think your butt doesn't look natural. I'm sorry to say. And Lars goes, my butt's tight because I work out. And if I compare my body to your body, I'm athletic and you're not. Like, that's the thing. And of course, we all know the definition of athletic means that you were married

to an athlete at one point and then you gave your jeans. And you wouldn't want to go for a round of like, feel like horse. So like, what the shape of your bot? And she's like, yeah, but like, yeah, oh my gosh, it's all competition again. I'm not talking to you, Julia. Like you're not like her representative light. And why are you so obsessed with my body, Adriana? Let's talk about your legs. What's wrong with my legs?

Let's talk about your legs. What's wrong with my legs? Let's talk about your sizey breasts. Marisol just starts sipping our khaki like, oh god, it's time for a gay icon to jump in soon. And Adriana's like, but I own it. I own it about my breath. And Lisa's like, well, you still got to pay those off. Actually, I mean, we gave you an 80% discount. So like, I'm just saying, you know, this is a call

about your credit. So I just want you to be warned right now. Well, listen, I say, I'm saying I own it. And if you want to look like Kim, then just look like Kim. She's pretty, which I love it. Every time Adriana brings us up, it's great because you know, there was some falling out that Kim and Larsa had some probably uninteresting falling out. And every time Adriana says that, like, you want to look like Kim, it's a reminder, A, that Larsa is not friends with Kim anymore.

And it's also a reminder that like, Larsa was trying to be Kim and Larsa is trying to act like she's the one who's progressive. And it's also Adriana in her way kissing up to Kim Kardashian, right? I think it's like kind of also Adriana like look I'm better friend to you than Larsa. Yes. And so Larsa is like listen like I never said I'm trying to look like Kim like I look like me like like I'm fairly like happy with the way I look. So.

I look like me like, I'm very happy with the way I look. So. Uh, she looks like a stack of trade-als. So Adria, Andy's like, she's like, well, the perception is that you have the show, you became friends with Kim Kardashian and you came back and your body resembled her more. And so Ray from Hollywood says, Larsa looks like Kim K, but does her baby talk,

mimic Kim K too. And Larsa looks like Kim K, but does her baby talk, Kim K too. And Larsa's like, oh, well, when you were friends with someone, you pick it up, you know? So like, if I dated a guy, he starts to sound like I'm progressive in that way. I sort of like set trends in vocal patterns, using the words that I use. Yeah, but you do kind of sound like her. No, no, like what I'm trying to see is like, I feel like I get my greens and like the medication to use if you get, well, that's just Chloe now. You can't just say you're not Kim

if you switch to a Chloe commercial. Well, ever since I graduated from law school up and trying to get people out of jail who were falsies, no, you never went to law school. That was Kim Kardashian. Yeah, but I'm just like seeing like, I feel like I give my mom 15% and like I expect more from her.

That's it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's not you again. Well, I just, I feel like, you know what, Pete Davidson and I are going through is very difficult and we're just trying to avoid all the abuse that yeah is giving us

Okay, well, I'm sorry, but like I was best friends with Kim like for like I don't know like 14 years maybe No, this show is eight years old and you met her after this show You met her after this show. Larsa is still the worst. I mean, congrats. It's not some really long title to hold, you know, eight years later and still just sucking. Truly the worst housewife of all time. Like, I mean, I mean, is she worse than Kim Zolciak?

I think she might be. I don't think she's the worst of all time because at least she's like enjoyable this time, but just as a human being. Like she's just, she's. Like she's just rotten. She's rotten. Wow. Is that how you pronounce progressive?

I'm a little confused. She's progressive. Okay. So now it's another dressing room break. Yeah. And now it's Alexia with Marisol. And she's like, do you believe what Larsa said about her ass? And Marisol's like, I don't remember her ass.

No, like you said that she had no ass. Like, don't you, so you better start remembering Marisol. Yeah, I'm not gonna ask shame her. You know why? Because my, wouldn't be ass and I. Am I right, Steve? and I'm, am I right, sleep, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, everyone's doing it. Like I might even do it. Like, oh, well, you know, Peter, he tried to do it. But he crashed his boat, you know, and then it was balloon, you know.

So Laura said, Peter never crashed. I mean, I want people to know that Peter never, this boat crashing is a thing that I purely made up for myself this episode and does not exist in real life. So Larza is not, she passes Lisa in the hall and she's like, didn't you see what happened right now? Like half my back. And Lisa's like, what could I have said in what just happened right now? I mean, tell me what I can have said.

She's like, I'm just saying like in general, like something, like see something. And Lisa's like, well, do you want me to fight to fight somebody you know I'm friends with these girls too like I will I will say if I don't agree with something I'm gonna say it But I don't want to have a huge problem with someone else and say oh you fucking bitch. I don't want to say that okay Yeah, you shouldn't then you should be you know what Lisa like you don't stick up for yourself So like don't stick up for me. It's like, I feel like it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Like don't stick up for me.

Go go back to cheating on me with with your horse and having babies with other people. You're not Chloe and I'm not trusted. So back on set, Larsa is taking a picture of herself. You know, she's doing like some Instagram or something. And Mary Soul goes, oh my God, that filter is fire. But like she, by saying that, she also messed. I guess that, I guess Larsa didn't want any talking and Larsa's like, oh my God, you messed it up.

She's so mad. No, because Mary Soul Press, I think what happened was Mary Soul's trying to press the send button And she was no Mary soul don't like post that out Mary soul's like trying to get on a bigger Instagram account. I mean Mary soul really is the tri-hardiest of all the housewives And then we actually wind up seeing the final Instagram posts and it's just Larsa going I'm seeing the final Instagram posts, and it's just Larsa going back at it again. And by back at it again, I mean trying to pass reforms

to tax the wealthy on the press. Oh, nice try though, Mirisol. So Lisa's all mad. And then we're back in Mary's house like showing off her cup. I mean, come on, like we get it Mary so okay, you poor thing. Someone hug Mary so okay, someone hug her. Hey, let's give her a memory hug.

Mary so what was it like going to Versace Mansion in 1903? And she's like, oh well, I remember going there, like, I think it was the millennium near Zeeve and like Jaila walked into the room and Madonna literally stood up and looked at everyone and everyone just had to like walk into another space because she was going to talk with Donna. That's what I remember. I remember being not important enough to be in the presence of the celebrity. It's yeah. Yeah, like, see, your saying you were sent out of the room. Okay.

So, Andy ingradiate. And he's like, so gritty. How has your husband dealing with being fucking hot? I mean, he's hot. He's one, I want to fuck your husband. Where's your husband right now? What's your husband's penis like? If your husband was having sex with me right now

What is a oh? I can't take it. I cannot take it. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Can we move that coach? We move that okay? It's good to fight. Okay. Listen, Russell is getting a lot of attention Like he doesn't know how good looking he is and that's the best part. Okay. He's like totally gratified already So yeah, he's getting you knowified already. Um, so yeah, he's getting, you know, made fun. He's getting hazed. It's like a fraternity at the firehouse, but you know, he is the captain. And then we move on to her charity. And she's like, oh, you know, the charity went great. And it's still ongoing, Andy. And the ladies, I hope you all gave at the event. And if you didn't, I brought the QR code right now.

And he's like, a QR code really? Wow, that's very modernizedly a black of you. Okay, I think she's still sending invoices. Yeah, actually. And she's like, well, because I know who gave and I know who didn't give. And so it almost sounds like, oh, people were being shady and he's like, well, who here donated?

And like one person raised their hand and she's like, oh, shit, but then almost sounds like, oh, people were being shady and it's like, well, who here donated and like one person raised their hand and you're like, oh, shit. But then it like just like, well, you know, oh, well, you know, there was like so much going on into your charity because you know, like Peter crashed a boat into the charity, you know? And then like, I didn't even know like it was like about even donating anything. Like I didn't know your charity event. Your like fundraiser was about donating anything. And it's like, ah, it was a charity event. So how did you not think it was about giving to charity? What are we gave dresses? Like, what's about the thing?

Like, they all donated dresses, which I think is legitimate. Yeah. And it's also a housewives charity thing. And even though it was more personal for you, which it was, but that's what the Housewives is. They used to at least be. It was always charity events. And you can't just donate to every charity event. It's not like they really pay you all that much for being on these shows, especially the peacock version of a Miami revamp.

You know, they probably got $5. How much are they supposed to give? Wow, I just like that the ongoing theme of this show is people trying to scam their way into a charity event without paying. Yes, all these years later. That's true. And that's true.

And that's what we're trying to speak into. What was it like, flow rider or something like that? At Lea's event. And Taylor from, and there's also Taylor from American Idol. Don't forget, like a friend Taylor, half on a set.

Yeah. Terry Downs. Terry Downs. Okay. So then let's see here. So we move to the foot massage commentary, Andy Askerty. And Julia's party, why did you keep trying to push that

Fumasage dialogue and out Adrian and Julia So Gerdy's like I'm taking a accountability. Okay, I'm taking a ability I should not have talked about the foot massage at the table But you know what you kept poking me and like you keep trying to like downplay my decor Which was which I gifted to Julia and was gratified certified a hundred percent gratified fresh Okay, and I just felt like you wanted to be a party pooper which I gifted to Julia and was gratified, certified 100% gratified fresh, okay? And I just felt like you wanted to be a party pooper, okay, and party poop at my parties is not allowed, okay?

And you've been jealous with all of us in one way, or shape a form in some sort of way. Hello, hello, hello, hello, move that catch please, okay, perfect, gratified. And we see a clip of Adriana of walking through the party going, you know, I'm really underwhelmed with this bar and taking over every, she was really an asshole about that.

She wasn't an asshole. And you know that Adriana is like in need of getting some ammo against, well, not ammo, but she needs allies to go against Larza because Adriana's like, I apologize because I didn't intend to disregard your work and you're hardworking. And I respect you for that, which was her way of saying, I'm not going to come for you right now, because I want you to be on my side. Yeah and Andy's like well Adriana you are very territorial and Adriana is holding hands with Julia at the moment and she's like okay I admit it I have been

but I'm not in love with her I just love her and Julie's like at the Martina loves our friendship. love her and Julie is like, and Martina loves our friendship. Martina is like, mm-hmm. And she says, like, and Martina says, I'm so happy that you have a true friend in your life. I'm sure Martina's totally saying that. Yeah, that's not the goal. So Adriana is like, you know, and when I go over for dinner,

Martina checks me out a lot more than Julie That is so let me tell you and he's like, okay, Colesette from Layman Zorobla said Gordy you asked Julia if she wanted a son and she opened up about her son's death as an infant and you made it all about you Why why why would you do that? so Yeah, so then, yeah, Gerdy basically thought it was a story about a miscar, thought it was gonna be a miscar story, so she sort of thought of maybe not as intense, even though miscarriages are incredibly intense.

And so, and Adriana's coming, comes to Julia's defense and bases like Julia never shares that story and that Julia had to summon up a lot of personal strength to share that story. And Adriana's like, I mean, that baby was shaken to death, like shaken to death as a little baby. I'm like, okay, Adriana. Cause she's like shaken to death.

I'm like Adriana, we can like, we don't have to, like Julia is like rattled over here. But she was basically I'm like, Adriana, we can like, we don't have to, like, Julia is like rattled over here, but she was basically saying that like, you know, she just wanted to protect Julia in that moment. And Julia says that it was like, you know, like it was, it was a misunderstanding and, and, et cetera. But like in that moment, like she was trying to share something very personal. And then, thenurdie interrupted her and started sharing her pain and it just felt like a lack of empathy and she that she had to like suddenly like suck up all her emotions that she suddenly had let out and wipe Gurdie's tears instead of like, you know, have her moment. Yeah, it's a super serious moment. It was nice though. It was nice.

There's nothing in here, Andy. I have a very weak blower and I have to go to the bathroom, Andy. Yeah, so then. So then Mary Soul. Nice. No, I know. It was a very lovely moment on the reunion, to be honest, because they both were. Girty was totally apologetic and it was like a nice resolution to that very awkward moment on the reunion to be honest, because they both were, Girty was totally apologetic and it was, it was like a nice resolution to that very awkward moment on the show.

Yeah, um, so then we go on break and then, um, we see Andy and Larza talking while they're just waiting for them. You set up and Andy's like, what did you think of the last dance? Did you watch it? She's like, of course I watched it, Andy. Well, what do you think? Scotty came off great! You should call him right now. You should call him right. Face down. Face down right away. I don't want to do those Scotty peepin'.

Scotty fucking peepin'. Wow, and he came off better than Michael Jordan. Did they pal around? She's like, yeah, it was like the rolling stones. And was he faithful to you? Did he realize how awful you were? Because he, did he? No, he, he, and this is a case that we would have actually encouraged him to cheat on you and he didn't cheat on you No, Andy. We never spent a day apart

Yeah, like I mean could he have cheated on like a Saturday or Sunday? No, I feel like no, you know You can really like only cheat like you you know, during five days of the week. So that was good. Vante has asked other people about this documentary too. Like he just loved the last dance. This is not the first time in three and when Andy's like, do you not like, oh, Jordan? I think he has Robin about is like, did one was the last dance anyone? So funny and he's so let's see so then we're back. When Larts are returned, she was welcomed back with open arms,

but when people thought she was capitalizing on her, totally real curves, she realized this was not a group of only fans. I actually chuckled at that one. So, Larsa's saying about how she was in the top. I think I'm in the top 0.02% because I've got like 45 million followers. You're not Kim Kardashian. Okay, stop using your stats. And he's like, is your following even grown?

I mean, Lincoln from Abrams, as Larsa make that coin, but having your daughter take photos for your only fans is not modeling good mommy behavior. Let's take a clip of Larsa actually answering this right now. Let's go to Larsa. Larsa, go, you're answering this right now. Let's go to Larza. Larza, go. You're gonna clip right out.

Larza, fun back it. Got a lot to go. I'm exhausted. I am exhausted. Oh, well, you know, Peter just crashed his boat again. So, well, my kids are like amazing like, and like, they get like straight A's, and they speak like four and languages,

and one of them built the Eiffel Tower like, and another one actually like invented Australia. Yeah, it didn't exist until my son. So like my kids are just like great. And so like taking photos is like not a big deal. And also like a lot of my kids like friends are on only fans and like all of my friends are on only fans. So like I think I'm like, I don't know.

I'm like like like like like. By the way, if I feel like as a parent, if I were doing something that like, all of my kids friends were doing, I'd be like, yeah, that's horrible. That's why are you trying to say you're a good mom? Am I saying, oh, all my kids friends were on only fans?

Like, that's not good, Larza, you dumb dumb. Yeah, like that's, that's like, like literally, I doesn't have to be only fans. Like if I had a kid and I found out all my my kids friends were into whatever it was I'd be mortified if I were just as enthusiastic about it unless it's board games yeah so Andy's like well who else is gonna join only fans Adri? Adriana, you seem interested. And there's this all mad. And she was, I was, believe me,

I could use 10 grams a day, 100%. However, I asked my son, Alex, what about what OnlyFans I should go on? And he looked at me and he said, Mom, that's pornography. Well, obviously, I feel like Alex isn't even friends with my children because he would be on only fans. So he didn't care that you brought two dates to one thing?

No, because that's not pornography. Okay, and I'm just saying what my son says. And my son says people who are on only fans are huge sluts with fake bodies, and that's that. But like he didn't care that you showed up to two dates with you two showed up with two dates to one thing. Like he didn't care about, no, look cause it's not pornography. But yeah, but you showed up to a theme with I feel like two dates.

So. Not pornography. Yeah, but like two girls one cop, that's like the same. It's like two boyfriends, one gallery opening. And she's like, really? Because you shouldn't say that, my friend. My friend. Because especially when you're boyfriend,

like has a girlfriend. Like he has a full on girlfriend. And he's running, goes, oh, well, Jacob is here. Should we bring him in, Andy? Should we bring him in? He goes, full on girlfriend. And he's trying to go, oh well, Jacob is here. Should we bring him in, Andy? Should we bring him in? He goes, no, no. Yeah, well, I like know my makeup artist and like your makeup artist, like knows him. And he has like a girlfriend.

So. Well, Adriana is like, well, my son's relationship is more important than money. So that's why I'm not going on only fans. Yeah, she said it's pornography. Yeah, I'm going to choose my son over porn. Also, I believe Larsa, I think Larsa is the worst, but yeah, Jacob Suffaik and I 100% believe Jacob is a big house girlfriend. Yeah, he's a phony.

So Larsa's like, oh, really? But did you like, did your son like see you make it on the show then? Did he see you? Because like I'm wondering like I feel like your son might have a TV or something and then for the first time in 15 years I'm going to say this sentence. Lars has a really good point. Mm-hmm. And the caption says all speaking indistinctly. the caption says all speaking indistinctly. And we see it, we see like a montage of Adriana taking her top off multiple times. And she's like, well, I thought that was funny. That was funny.

And Julia was like, well, she wasn't trying to seduce anyone with it. She was trying to take a bath, which could be very seductive. And largely because she was seducing you, you idiot. She goes, oh, yeah, that was really funny to like 5 million people. Whoa, you're really overstating. You're really overstating. This show does not have 5 million viewers. I'm sorry, maybe someone will prove me wrong, but I'm going to go out on a limb here.

Yeah, you're full of shit. So, Larza's like, I'm single, I'm open, people would DM me all the time and I was responding to people at the M's and I thought, why should I capitalize on it? If you're into me, you should go on a platform that's just my page and it's free. I'm not like doing like, I'm not like doing anything. I wouldn't like post normally, you know? And yeah, she's like, it's free. And of course, it's, well then, how do you make money if it's free? Well, because it's like your message is.

So like every time you like message me and I message you back, I mean, there's like a rate for that. And he goes, Oh, I subscribed in COVID. So I did it. I mean, you subscribe to people in his free, but then you pay for messages. You pay for pictures

So like you're always paying for more and let me tell you wow I mean it beats a strip club. You just put the phone on your penis Walter just have them yell out something you'll feel a vibration it really works So then no one believes that she's just showing her feet, which in Larsa's defense, which I hate saying that phrase, but in her defense, if she were showing more than her feet, we would know, right? Like it would be out there. And she's like, well, just go to the platform and subscribe.

You'll see an Adriana should more in the season than I've ever shown. And I mean, Larsa's basically like, look, it would be out there, you know? Like you have to, and she goes, you have to pay me $100 million to do something, dude. Yeah, okay. So first of all, like who cares? I mean, this only fans thing, it's too much shame. You know what I mean?

It's like, I get some of it, like, okay, you know, like you're having your kids take your only fans, but it's not like she's the only person on only fans. There's a lot of people on there. And at a certain point, it's like, she's with work, you know, like what do I care? But on the other hand, it's Larsa, you know, who says things like this. If I was gonna do booms, I would do like Playboy. Like, okay, well, where's that offer? You know what I mean? Stop just putting yourself in things.

Like if I was gonna like show my booms, it would be like in the film The Blind Side. It started. And how are you gonna show my booms? It would be in The Batman in a theater near you. Like she's like, she just gets these opportunities. So then when I show my boobs, it's gonna be like the Nobel Prize ceremony.

If I'm gonna show my boobs, it'll be at the Olympics, okay? Yeah. So Tina from W Weson says, Larsa telling horny, loony truck drivers that you might date them is a scam to hit the subscribe button and get more cash. Sounds hookerish to me. And Nicole goes, I didn't write that card.

I'm just saying, ha ha ha. Nicole who's saying that she only stood for empowering women later is like making that. So Lars is like, well, you never know. Well, I'm not sure I want to stay away from guys like that. I mean, what if there's a trucker who's really rich? Or what if there's a correctional officer who's like,

whoops, I have to correct that amount on the check. Like, I meant to add another zero. So like, you know, truck drivers can also be NBA players. So like, you know, I could date one. And Mary so goes, well, I'm happy that you're doing something for correctional officers because I spent a night in prison and they're not nice. I'm like, God cool story Mary's soul, that you showed up.

Everyone's like, you're in prison. She's like, um, hello, I'm a gay icon, don't you remember? I had a mug shot that people cared about at some point. It's like, uh, I'll have to go look in my pictures from the Civil War. I don't remember that happening. Yeah, I just want to remind everybody that I had a DUI in 2010. So when they make their next round of housewives who've got mug shots coasters, I'm on one.

I'm on one. Oh, well, you know, like my breast was also had, like, you know, had some issues with the law, you know, it was actually like it was actually my breast was like really big in the old West like, like, yeah, your breast is not Billy the kid. Okay. But like guys, I have no like relationship with these guys. Okay, I know them by name because like when I see their dicks on their camera it's like got a little name on it. So, I don't like to go that's creepy, that's creepy. No, but like I was the same way like on Instagram. And Gertie goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, look, but don't text or DM. Okay. Look, here's one of my biggest followers his name is Peter and

He says he's from Miami and oh, oh, this is awkward, Alexia Oh, well, you know, it's not his fault. You know, I left my credit card on the table. What was he supposed to do? All right Sorry, would you say no just it's an allegation? right, let's switch gears. Sorry, what'd you say? No, just, it's an allegation. Allegation. All right, let's switch gears.

I think everyone's side of huge sigh of relief in the first segment where Mary so wasn't here on this day. But also when they saw you signing that doc you signed, what was that moment like for you? Did you actually write your own signature or did you choose one of the pre-signed fonts that they actually give you because I have to say the Andy Cohen font in the doc you sign is actually pretty good. I enjoyed it. I'm really tired.

Andy, I'm crying now. She literally says, she literally says. I feel like I was sad. And she's like, she's like, starts to cry a little bit. And Marisol who's like still busy trying to do like her prop comedy, like Andy, I got a khaki, I got a, oh, oh, Larsa, I'm sorry, I didn't know if you were crying over there.

Right next to me, and then she went for my face. Let me pretend to console you with this drama moving off and down. And so he's like, well, you were there for all the highs. Wow, Scotty, Bippin' Cuddy, I'm Scotty. What was he like? Tell me about Scotty. I was 21 when I noticed he was famous,

and that's when I met him, and then we were married, and we've been married until like yesterday. It's while you're entire adult life, that's incredible. Hey, how much of your relationship with the rapper future play into your divorce from Scotty? It's so funny using the word future

with Larsa Pippin, two things I don't associate with many in life. You know, like would I feel like a lot of people thought like we were still together when we broke up, but like we weren't together. And Scotty's done like interviews where he said that our relationship was basically over when I was with future. So yeah. So they got basically she did have a prenup, but it dissolved after 10 years. And so they got like, she got, it was like 50, 50 assets split.

So and she's like, I earned it. I earned it. Okay, every time Scotty scored a basket, it was basically me and his body like Lily Tomlin to Steve Martin. Okay, I earned that money Can we have peepee branks? I'm really have to go and pee pee and me. That's my thing Wow, okay, well, this is why you don't bring an eight-liter bottle on stage. Okay, we're gonna make a prop your thing make sure it doesn't have liquid in it So then Adriana and Jacob

doesn't have liquid in it. So then Adriana and Jacob don't don't their backstage and they're with a producer and Adriana is like do you have a girlfriend? No. And the producers like well were you two timing Adriana? He's like I mean no no no no no I mean no looking around he's so lying you're such a liar. Yeah. So then we then Julia is saying how Martina is sweating thinking about how oh I guess that we're back on back on the stage now everyone comes back out and Andy's like basically asking like what Martina thinks about all this. Oh she's sweating thinking about how I will do on here. And, um, and will

she go my watch with Apple's live Martina? I'm not wanting to go my watch with Apple's. Will she talk about Scotty bibbing? Does she know that he's got him? Oh my god. Has she watched the last dance? Totally different sport, but she knows athletes, you know. So meanwhile, like, I'm surprised there wasn't footage in the last dance of like Martina being on the bowls. Like I feel like she was like, I could play basketball. I'm an icon. So, so we're back. So now we go into Julia segment,

history being the first married gay housewife. And she is, she's also the first one with a farm. And Annie is asking if she felt pressure She is, she's also the first one with a farm. And Annie's asking if she felt pressure being the first lesbian housewife. She's like, I don't feel pressure. I felt responsible and I'm so grateful that you got to see my family and my life. Cause love has no gender. Our family is just like any other family. Our goat is like any other goat, but without testicle, you know.

like any other family, our goat is like any other goat, but without testicle, you know? Every family has Christmas photo of squat on the goat. And every family. We have just like every family, you know, we're like any American family where someone happens to be in a world icon in sports and there's also, we have mansions and goats and ducks etc and car with

Paint stains on it Boss flatters all over him So he's like wow was Martina when they said Martina I said Martina Is he gonna be a spouse? Oh oh my god what's a reaction it calls Gompartina right now color right now gore based on her based on her I'm her soul goes yeah you're thinking you're getting ponged god I love being so current so she talks about coming out to her parents and they were very accepting, but her daughters gave Martina a really hard time at first.

And Mary so I was like, well, they would be like that with men too. I mean, listen, lesbians are just like straight people without the straight part. Am I right, punk? Punk, do you just come ash-dand? I can't imagine like I feel like if I were a child, even if even being a child, I just can't imagine sassing Marchina and Avratilova. I feel like that seems scary. Yeah.

Um, so Andy is, okay, so then we move into the super insanely sad and insane story of Julia's ex and her baby and what happened to the baby boy. So she was married to Edward Stern and he's like so he was a very powerful European businessman and she's like well as I found out later I was only young model, but this man comes in very charismatic and I was like, wow, he's a Dorian Gray and he truly was. Okay, I'm going to need you to explain that reference to Larsa who is very confused right now. I mean, like I would be the gray-haired guy, but like I don't know, I'll just have to see only fans slash larsa

yeah I mean I could did anyone even someone who has a painting of themselves and they're addict you know so this story is crazy so basically long story short they're Julia had a baby with a sky-out with her and who was like a very very wealthy businessman like extremely extremely wealthy Stern, who was like a very, very wealthy businessman, like extremely, extremely wealthy. I think he was like the 38th most wealthy person in the world at the time of his passing. And he had been dating this lady named,

what was her name, so less or something. Saseel. Saseel. And Saseel approached Julia and pretended that she was someone else. Like, she pretended like she was someone who knew Saseel. And she asked Julia to go to coffee and was like, by the way, are you still sleeping with Edward? And like, if you tell me the truth about if you're sleeping with Edward, then I will tell

you what happened to your child. And Julia collapsed and she's like, and then she start mumbling something and telling me she knows more. And Mary still goes, but you couldn't hear her, right? It's like, what? Okay, well, I mean, I guess why you, there's good reasons where you're not going to want to out every single detail, but she still gives a ton of them. So she's like, well, I was really upset. So I couldn't hear her. And she said, unless you want to know something, don't ever contact me again. And then she collapsed. And Lars is like, what do you think that she knows like? And Julia goes, very good point. And it was December. And then it was like November December and then a month later he, she killed him.

Yeah, basically he died five months later and Cecil shot him and then, I mean, so it's like, wait, but she suffocated them, right? She was, no, shot him. Shot him. Oh my God. I read strangled. Oh. Yeah. And read strangled. Oh Yeah, and Andy's like and he was head to toe and latex you know like

How many true crime podcasts were just like scrambling for their Mike's are like must create podcasts right now based on this story So yeah, I actually read this when she when she came on the show I read there's a big article in when she came on the show, I read, there's a big article in, I'm really helpful. I think it was like, it was a huge publication, you know, it was like New York Times or something. That was something really huge before she was ever famous and it's crazy. I mean, this whole story is just nuts.

So yeah, it was bond. I think it was Pinkley text, if I remember correctly, and Lisa just goes that is so Yeah, she goes what an evil bitch And then Mary so it's like oh my god. Well, I thought he's suffocated from the land It's shut up Mary soul. So Julie is like well It what what's it's written in papers and what is in movie about it? I will not say. And so then the questions are did he have something to do with the baby being killed?

And she says she doesn't know what to believe. And then Andy starts asking about the nanny. Like did he bring the nanny in? Who basically shook the baby to death and Julia saying that she was tasked with finding Pemandi, the nanny by a secretary, and he told her what to write, you know, and like what what they were looking for, and then magically two days later, a Bulgarian nanny appeared on my door with umbrella. But it was just how she described it was weird. Like magically this nanny appeared and it was exactly what she had been told to request. Yeah, it was like in her resume it was amazing. And then she was too good to be true and she was. And essentially this tragedy happened.

And after I was like the day she was found guilty or something like that, she just disappeared into thin air. She was never found. And then Adriana, this is, so this is Adriana's version of, I don't know who's empathy, I don't know, but I don't know if I would want to hear this from Adriana.

She goes, you know, Max, Max is her son. Is the exact same age as, oh, I'm sorry, Max was Julia's son and Alex is Adriana's son. She goes, Max was the exact same age as Alex. And every time Alex does something that amazes me, I feel for her because her son could have been doing something also amazing.

I'm like, Adriana, I don't know. I know you're trying to be nice right now. I don't know if that's exactly what Julia probably wants to share. Yeah. And I mean, I was like, wow, I can't believe they went over that whole thing in the reunion. And everyone's like, crazy. Yeah, and Talen Green, you know you're an inspiration and stuff.

And Lars is like, yeah, like you're like great kind of, I guess. Like your daughters are like amazing. And if they ever send up to only fans, I have a sign-up code for them. That's my gift to you. That's my card. Except that is my card to you. So we go through this super intense segment. I mean, it was really intense.

And then we have some behind-the-scenes stuff. And Nicole is just showing pictures on her phone. She was, oh yeah, well, she's like, well, we just got this airplane just a month ago. And it's nice. It's like a little bit more cozy, and like a little bit more space. Like doesn't feel so malicious, you know?

Well, the quote, Joan Rivers, how did you get so rich? And she says Anthony is a lawyer and he works very hard. And when anyone asks what kind of lawyer he is, he just says a good one. So that's some crime syndicate shit right here. We know that he's very, very successful, multi-million dollar lawyers on Bravo. Yeah, who won't say what kind of lawyer they are. Okay. So now it's time as we, as we start to close out the episode, it's time for Nicole versus Marisol. So Marisol, you're the queen of shade. Who starts a vacation dinner with,

who do you trust that these seems like you want to put Nicole in her place? Mm-hmm, yes. And let me see, oh yes. So she's like, you know, I knew this information for a long time like we before filming. So like, I know, I knew this information for a long time, like we before filming. So like I didn't know how this information was gonna come out or if it was gonna come out.

You knew it and you were gonna bring it out. New Excel. And it was like, you wanna know how it came out? We redesigned our house. That's how it came out. So this is the second. The secondary design fight we're going into this week. I don't remember.

The first one Salt Lake City, yeah. Well, the first one is, and then Salt Lake City, I guess. Yeah. So Nicole's like, so we were just remodeling our house. And someone on my design team is Marisol's high school best friend. Marisol's like, no, it wasn't him, it wasn't him. And she's like, no, well, he asked me,

what do you think about the remodel that Lisa just did? And Marissa was like, he doesn't even know who Lisa is. I don't know when you're even talking about. I don't know what you're saying. Yeah, well, she says he doesn't know Lisa. And Alexi is like, he's never even been to Lisa's house. And Lisa goes, hey, what are you talking about? Very so it's like, oh God, you're just making shit up.

You're just making shit up. You're such a liar. This is so true. It was him. You totally know it was him. Because why would he have to know Lisa to think that her house remodels sucked? I mean, it was on TV.

Do you know it's all over Instagram? And Nicole even says he's in interior design. I don't even know, and he knows in the community. Plus Marisol knows immediately who Nicole is talking about. And the fact that Marisol immediately was like, it wasn't him, it wasn't him. It's like so obviously Marisol trying to cover for this guy, right?

So Nicole says, so he asks me, you're going to be on the show with her. And I was very honest, I shared my truth. I said, you know, I think Lisa's house, it's a little over the top. It's a little glitzy and glam. That's just not my style. I don't choose to look have a house that looks, you know, super shitty. That's just like not my style. That's all I said. I was honest. Oh, you know what? You're smart, but I'm smart too. Alexa, and I don't need a medical degree. Oh, well, you know, Peter was given one by a doctor that we went to see a couple of weeks ago.

And so he was given one. So you know what, you want to come clean? And then she starts waving around her phone as the threat, the ultimate real housewives threat. Like I'm waving my phone to you. I love your smart, but I'm smart just like you. And I don't need a medical degree. So she goes, we went to the surf club to have dinner

and it was Dodd and I and Anthony and yourself and you just like, oh well you know Peter started talking and like you've been to Lisa's house and you like didn't like the doctor that decor, okay, or a doctor, there's probably a doctor you don't like, I'm just, that's another episode, okay, and it gets better than that because she said the tile is like Chinese

and they spent all this money on their house and like the tile is like Chinese and if you're going to come clean, come clean, you don't like Chinese style. And of course like, oh, okay, so you're the one who told her, you're the one who told Mary's all I said all this stuff. And Mary's all like, oh, I wasn't her either. Wasn't her either. And Lisa goes, first of all, nothing in my house is made in China.

I mean, did I, you know, like, come on, those words, like, oh, wait, I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, she said nothing in my house is made of, it's made in China. And who said that? Nicole's like, listen, like, those, those words never came out of my mouth. So I don't, I don't know anything about your tiles.

And Nicole's, and like, says like, Nicole, Oh, well, you know, Nicole, you said it. Okay. You said it was Chinese and it was super cheap Okay, you said it said it and you said it about the tiles and Lisa cuz But I have receipts from the tiles if anybody wants to see my tile receipts like they say made in Hong Kong that's not China. Oh, well So Nicole's like I love, well, so Nicole, like, I love every union with tile receipts. I mean,

the tile fight. And Nicole, look at how petty we are. Okay. We are arguing about interior design. And Andy goes, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, but it was also wrong. Have you to call me a hooker. Larsa. I never said that.

Did you ever hear me say that? No one here has ever heard me say anything. This is ridiculous. Yeah, well, Mary soul is here. And Mary soul lives a lot of things. And Mary soul doesn't repeat lines. Let's talk about facts. Okay, unless you hear it out of my mouth, it is a lie that was probably imported from China.

I don't need to hear it out of your mouth. I don't even know you. And he's like, well, what about Alexia denying she told you that Marisol got married to stay relevant? And she's like 1,000% she said that. And Alexie is like, if you're gonna complain, complain for you. And she goes, we're having a conversation about it.

So let me retort. She goes, okay, retort. Then I'll have my side. Alexia was the first person I knew in the group and like we went to dinner and she debriefed me about everyone. Who's malicious, who's not malicious, who's really malicious, who's going to be back the season. So she's like, Marisol is really upset.

She's so desperate. Her words, not mine for a place. She's so desperate. Marisol's like, yeah, I mean, I was pretty desperate. I wanted to work with my friends, yeah. Yeah, because she said she was just desperate to be on the show and that's why she did it. And Alexi is like, oh, well, don't over,

don't over-dramatize things because you make it sound like you're this gistmosa and you're asking questions. And of course, like, she did a wedding ceremony that she would have, so that she would have a storyline. Believe that too. 100% believe that's so Mary so she's already done it. I mean Mary so did that whole first wedding storyline. Yeah, I'm gonna have something to do. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So Lexi's like, well first of all, I don't have a relationship in Nicole that I call her to talk about like my best friend.

Okay, and Nicole call is like I 100% certainly heard you say that Well, you're good liar, but your lies aren't bigger than my honesty and don't call me girlfriend because I'm not your girlfriend Well, let me ask this has anyone in this group That's got a bib and what's he like? Okay, no, but for real Has anyone in this group met Scottie Bippen? What do you like? What is the life? Okay, no, but for real has anyone watched the last dance? It's so good two years later. It's still so good. Has anyone in this group other than Mary so heard Nicole talk badly about anybody else and nobody has heard anything and the sad bitter couch is all mad about it because they're all a big team trying

to come for the noobs. And they're failing. But I will say they're failing at that. And their lies are still transparent. And they're still all just doing desperate thirsty things to be on TV. But damn, I'm glad they're back and they did a great job. Yeah, it was great. It's so great. I mean, I really do enjoy how some of these fights are actually solo stakes. Like, has anyone heard Nicole talk badly about someone? It's solo stakes compared to,

you know, what's going on on Salt Lake City, for instance, like, federal charges, like, like, vicious rumors to destroy friendships. But I really enjoy it in that way. Yeah, this, you know, Pacto's roots, penny, petty, petty fights. Well, we'll have the second and final installment of the reunion. That's gonna air later this week and we'll have it up, a recap of that up next week.

And until then everyone, go get your tickets to see us live at watchrocrappens.com and get your merch at crapinsmerch.com and we'll catch you on the very next episode of Watchwakrapins right here. Thanks everyone for listening. Bye! Bye! Watchwakrapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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