Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Miami Advice

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

This week on Real Housewives of Miami (S5 E11), Alexia invites a lawyer to lunch, ostensibly to offer advice, but instead he becomes witness to Nicole taking down Larsa.See Privacy Policy at ...https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelka, and joining me today is the hilarious, enhancing, and wonderful
Starting point is 00:01:11 Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Well, you little sweet tart. I've been out. So guess what, everybody? We are now on TikTok, the social media giant. Mostly just right now is just like little clips and stuff in the show and some of the old stuff we did,
Starting point is 00:01:29 but hey, come on there, okay, we're gonna start posting stuff on there. I've already been practicing my little stand-in-place dances. Yeah, everyone go watch it. It's at Watchware Crappens, we're just typing Watchware Crappens. For all the hot TikTok, you don't stop action. They're really gonna have color.
Starting point is 00:01:50 I'm on there as Ronnie Karem. What are you on there? Are you on there? I'm on there, but so far, you can follow me. I'm Ben Mandelker on there. I have not actually made anything. I haven't dipped my toe into the TikTok world in terms of creation just yet. I've been oddly apprehensive. Like, there time in my life where I would just be like I'm telling I'm gonna crazy
Starting point is 00:02:10 but I Just every time I go into TikTok I I just get distracted away from from being a creator myself so Okay, but now I feel inspired Follow at Ronnie Kerr and watch what crap it's no you can follow me to I'll I'll do something But I am more inspired to make stuff for watch what crap and then to make my own little videos at the moon Me too. I don't really make much for myself Either way war you can come follow us in person
Starting point is 00:02:45 because next week, mere days from now, we're going to Austin, Texas to recap the real housewives of Miami, which is also what we're recapping today. Miami is having an amazing season and it's just out of control. So let's kick off the Cheetah Brand Tour, the best way possible by everyone coming to Austin
Starting point is 00:03:03 and just like let's all laugh at this amazing show. And then the very next night let's do it all over again for part two of the Salt Lake City reunion, which we are going to be doing in Dallas, Texas, Texas City's OH-Treatless Right. So let's just like kick off the tour big time. And then after that, here are the cities. In case you missed them, Phoenix, for big time. And then after that, here are the cities in case you missed them. Phoenix, LA for the Golden Crappies. Really excited. We just booked a whole new guest today. Very excited about that. Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, Philadelphia, New York City, DC, San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago, Columbus, Boston, and finally in late June, Foxwoods in Connecticut. So it's so fun.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Go to watchcrapins.com to get your tickets. Foxwoods, casino, get ready for us. We're coming for you. Yeah. So, real housewives of Miami, another hilarious. This episode was hilarious. Yeah, this was another just fantastic episode. Also, just, I wanna shout the girls, the girls.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Let's start it with some good old-fashioned sogyny sexism, shall we? The ladies of the Bravo docket. You know, I love that podcast. I talk about it on here a lot and I will be mentioning it a lot today because they just had an episode Talking about this divorce the Hawkson divorce and the pre-naught, which is so I'm gonna be referencing that a little bit today But at the end of their podcast they were like oh and it's usual go get your tickets for watch what crap
Starting point is 00:04:41 And so both be there and like you guys are like finishing tickets for us and get your tickets for Watch Your Crappens. We'll both be there. Like you guys are like fishing tickets for us. And you are so sweet. And it's also really cool to listen to a podcast that I love and genuinely listen to all the time. Shout us out. So thank you guys.
Starting point is 00:04:55 You do not have to do that. I'm just chatting you out all the time because you literally give such good information. So if you guys want to hear about this prenup, I'll bring up some of it today. But it's like Lisa signed the dumbest ass prenup I've ever even heard of anybody signing a mat. And there have been some. He's not seem to. No. I mean, get out of here. Oh my God. But it's so bad, Ben. And we'll,
Starting point is 00:05:19 you know, we'll get to it when that part comes up. But go listen to it. It's worth a listen. Let me guess. She gets none of his money, but she does get a box of Lara bars. Pretty close. Except Lenny is not going to spring for the Lara bars, but the first part you got right. It's an empty box of Lara bars that she can put her loose change into. Yeah, basically, then he's like, okay, if we divorce, you have to be out of the house in 10 days and you're gonna pack a gum
Starting point is 00:05:53 and you have to leave all your shoes. I'm like, okay, okay, so I'm screwed. Let's get married. Wow, well, I can't believe Lisa Hawksley and her rush to get married Well, I can't believe Lisa Hawksdien in her Rushed to get married to a prominent plastic surgeon would have just signed away all her rights I just wouldn't have thought that. Yeah, well there you go. It's just another example of You know rich people taking advantage of immigrants Yeah
Starting point is 00:06:22 Could those Canadian immigrants just being used and abused every time we turn around, you know. So we are at the engagement party from last week and there's a fight because because there's a fight because Nicole's talking about why she just invited Larza to happen because Larza to happen what's had been a goal up with every doctor in the hospital. She didn't like it and she's crying because her professional reputation could be damaged. Not that this show would ever do that for her, but Larza's rumor would be the thing
Starting point is 00:06:56 that would ruin her reputation. Right. And so she saw pissed off and she's like, the day that one of you girls worked for something for 20 years and a girl who has never worked a day in her life tries to shit on it is that's the day that you're gonna get pissed and she walks off and she puts her hand on Johnny's shoulder because he's like comforting her, he's like holding like holding her arm and she puts her hand on his shoulder as she walks away like and I can take her gay too so don don't forget about it. Yeah, because Alexia's defense was like,
Starting point is 00:07:26 well, anyone can say whatever they want. So, so then she was by the way, by the way, just so you know, for future reference, anyone can say anything that they want unless there is a lawyer on retainer for a few hours, which case you can only say smart questions. Yes. So now Nicole goes over to do some of those whippable moons and she, you know, helps set up this entire party. So she already knows what they are, but Anthony mansplains it.
Starting point is 00:07:57 He's like, you know what these are? They're like balloons and then you like in hell and they have alcohol in them. So you don't drink the alcohol, but you still get the effect. And she's like, oh my God, thank you. That's totally new information. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:08:10 I also liked when Nicole was talking about how, like, you know, she was thinking that her friends would have her back and know how hard it is to be a Latino woman and to be a professional and et cetera. And she's like, for them not to care and for them to be so nilly, willy at repeating rumors that aren't true And she's like, for them not to care, and for them to be so nilly-willy at repeating rumors that aren't true, that's like heartful. That's like peak nilly-willy-ness. I do not like it. So nilly-willy. So then Lisa drives up and, you know, it's an engagement
Starting point is 00:08:37 party in Miami. So, you know, you were like, nothing. I want to be in a position where I can just come to one of these parties one day and not feel completely crazy. I just can't imagine leaving the house like anyone in Miami leaves the house. Like, okay, I put on underwear on one side of my cheek. Okay, my vagina is on my forehead. And I've got my penis on my ankle. Okay, let's go. I'm ready for the party.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Let's do this. Don't forget that Lisa is the one who showed up for Alexia's mom's memorial dressed like a sexy leprechaun. She's like, Oh, do people wear black to these things? She not only didn't wear black, she wore like me on green. You're right, I just wore like Dennis ball, not Leopardcon.
Starting point is 00:09:26 So Lisa walks in because she's like, I'm so happy for Nicole and Anthony, but at the same time, it makes me a little sad because I'm not there anymore. It's difficult to be there and am I happy when I'm happy, you know, when I'm going through what I'm going through. So she walks in and Marisol goes,
Starting point is 00:09:43 Monkey. when I'm going through what I'm going through. So she walks in and Marisol goes, monkey. Hey. It's my little monkey poem. So she goes to sit with Alexia and Alexia. He's like, caviar, caviar guy, come here. That's caviar, right?
Starting point is 00:09:56 Okay, give me the caviar. So they start eating some caviar. And she's like, so have you seen Lenny? She's like, yeah, he told his mom and his dad today that he never wants to see them, will speak to them ever again. And she's like, oh my god, this caveat. So good.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Did he really say that to his own parents? Yeah, they were all in the pool. And there was Lenny and the kids. And there was a play day that I had set up. And then Marina was arguing. And he said, get the fuck out of here. I never want to see her face again. In front of the kids and the play date.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Later on, I found out the play date was actually his new girlfriend, but that's neither here nor there. Ha ha ha. I mean, she tells us what mother could handle that, you know? Now that's not to say that Marina raised Lenny in any horrible way or anything. I mean, you turn out professionally amazing.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Like, look at him, he's amazing, you know? Like a man who just like takes a sharpie and marks on a woman woman all of her most insecure sections of her body and promises to fix them for thousands of dollars. I mean professionally, wow, good mothering there. But on a personal level, you know, it's just like fucked up. Like this is not normal behavior. No, but she basically saying that's, Marinette actually did fuck up.
Starting point is 00:11:05 So Lenny sent to force papers, so now it's like really official. And the producer asks if she's talked, if he's talked to her, it's into the papers. It's just, no, Lenny is not trying to work with me. He's not trying to talk to me. I don't even know who I'm talking to. When I look into those eyes, the person I knew is dead. Well, it's more like they're dead, but they have hair plugs. Does that make sense? It's like they're dead, but they can still sweat the smell of
Starting point is 00:11:31 like cucumbers mixed with like chopped onions. It's weird. And Gerdy, who's always trying to bring it out, she's like, yes, yes, I know that all of this is happening to you. I'm so sorry, but tonight is about love. Don't think about it Because tonight isn't just about Nicole and love for ourselves or sucking things in from balloons You know, it's about love for each other. It's about love for caviar like Alexie loves the caviar It's about love for I can I love I can oh my god. I'm so busy right now. I can't even talk right now I'm sorry. It's love for standing under 360 and watching that camera go around you. So now now Adriana and Tieri are going to have their scene. So he sits down and he puts a hand around Adriana's shoulder. He's like, it's all awkward.
Starting point is 00:12:15 He's all hiked up. He's ready to go. And he goes, I propose a toast. A toast to people minding their bloody business and not starting ugly rumors about me that I'm a married person. I was like, oh bro, whoa. It's not gonna go well for you. No, but you met some classic Mary Sol.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Mary Sol is over with Nicole's dad at the bar, of course, where else. Oh no, they're doing the 360 taking pictures together. And the dad's like, I wanna go to bed with her. And she goes, huh, don't get a twisted, bro. 360 taking pictures together and the dad's like, I want to go to bed with her. And she goes, huh, don't get a twisted brown. And then when she comes over to Ariana, she goes, oh, Mary soul, I love your dress. Very fun. What are you drinking? And she's like, it's calm, the jackpot.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Mary soul is in her moment right now. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- for you, this is a wrong group. And he's like, oh, then I'm a married person, public record, I can prove it. Yeah, he's like, and Marisol's like, well, I don't know you, so I don't know what you told her. You know how men are, and he's like, and it's like, oh, well, you know what? Oh, well, you know what, non-Peter? Guess what, I can prove to you. I can prove to you that you're married.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Okay, I'm proving to you right now. He's like, oh, no, I can prove it. Oh, here, I got something. Can you read? Did Ken, you reach? She's like oh no, I can breathe it. Oh here. I got something can you read? Did can you reach it's like oh? And so then he tries to pivot and go do you need glasses? That's what I'm trying to say. Do you need glasses? Gurly's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa me and so he pulls out the papers and she goes first of all you're talking to a woman so you should use some respect and then Adriana hands the papers over and she goes no no no no no no no no I don't even care I'm like wipe this with my butt okay. Yeah Adriana is like I cannot believe these
Starting point is 00:14:18 Alexia has been making this such a big deal like denial denial is a perfect tool. And Alexia is quite versed in this. And Alexia is like, you're triana, what does that mean? denial is a powerful tool. And Alexia is quite versed in that. Okay. What? Well, I think meaning that Alexia was married to like a drug dealer and then a closet again,
Starting point is 00:14:40 man, apparently everyone in town knew it was gay. So Alexia is like, why are you so aggressive? Why are you so aggressive? And they're trying to say, he's a doctor and he felt like his reputation was on the line. So. Then how come it came out and Miami did records that he's still married. Here you go. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:14:57 And she gives us phone and she shoves it in his face. And he's like, oh really? I thought you didn't know me. Just not divorced. It says right here, right in the middle of this page, where everything important is. And he's just giving this like weird evil smile. I mean, he really looks like he's lying to me.
Starting point is 00:15:13 He does look, he does, even though he's vindicated, he definitely looks like he's lying. And he, Marisol's like, well, maybe they have an updated the website, yeah. Oh, okay, so, the the website. Yeah. Okay. Her so, the earthlink.net, I don't know, those are the servers I use for my emails. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Okay, Mary so, okay. Don't give me upset Mary so, okay? And she's like, Oh, can I have a new best friend? And I just pick a new best friend, Lee. I want to support her out on the other way. So, Mary so, dipping into her reserve of like like like hotel lobby piano act comedy that she's doing.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Can I have a new best friend? Am I telling you guys? Alright. Hey while we're talking about a new best friend, I'll just bring out a new prop this big black feathered fan while I sit in a white feathered skintine outfit like every scene that's a new fucking prop. Like does she have, she have a dresser there?
Starting point is 00:16:08 Like, where is she getting all this shit? Maybe. She just has a trunk at her feet. So Adriana's like, I don't want to say that I'm going out. I don't want you to say that I'm going out with a married guy and Alexa's like, oh, well, you know what? You know what? You're going out with an asshole.
Starting point is 00:16:23 An asshole. That's what you're going out with an asshole. It's because he felt attacked. You don't know, you know what the voice paper looks like. So look at the divorce paper. And Alexa, you runs off. She's like, no, no, I will not do this. So Adriana gets a marital space and she goes,
Starting point is 00:16:37 why? Why is she doing that? Why is she doing that? Why? And where is so, it's like, I don't know. I was expecting this today. She has her own minds. I mean, I don't know, I was expecting this today. She has her own minds. I mean, I don't.
Starting point is 00:16:48 No, she does. So Lexi goes up to Johnny and she's like, oh, well, you know, Adriana is like fighting with me. Like, and the guy, I'm like, I'm like about to punch him. Like, because I showed him, I showed him that he was divorced on a screenshot of the screen that was also the same size of the screenshot.
Starting point is 00:17:03 So therefore, there's no more information above below or to the left or to the right of what I showed him. And then mean what it just cuts the tieri is like massaging his sinuses and laughing evenly, you know, because you know, he just like did like a huge rail before this scene. And Adriana is like, I would never go out with a married guy. And Mary soul goes, oh, okay, cool. I already checked out at the scene a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Hey, I'm gonna go see if I can find that dress I have that looks like a chicken. Marisol, who started this entire storyline is just completely bored. Yeah, that's really cool. Have you ever seen a Robert Chanchan come out of a Martini shaker? And hilarious.
Starting point is 00:17:48 So now it's like a new day and we're seeing what everyone's doing around town. Lisa's working out in her home gym. Gurdie's making tacos and her kids like building something with Legos on a table nearby. Oh, hey, just so you know, a family game that's gonna happen on Sunday. That's happened on Sunday because I have to travel. It's gonna be a family again on Sunday. He's like I really don't care. I was not I had not mentally you know accepted the fact that it was now gonna be a weekly thing I was hoping just to get her out, but I'll just go back to my leg as So the nolexia starts calling people she starts with Mary soul and Mary soul is like hey, bro
Starting point is 00:18:20 I can't hear you. It's something's not connecting with my blue I can't hear you. Something's not connecting with my blue too. Oh, well, I'm just making some calls before I get in the elevator to go in with my day because I live in such a big place I have to go on the elevator. Oh, I can't hear anything. Well, the helicopter is gonna come pick me up here on the top of this penthouse, but I just wanted to make a call before so I can get Oh, I can get, how are you? So, well, I was like to give doing like a little girls lunch on Thursday and like, I have like, I'm gonna have like a guest speaker and like, it's like my lawyer.
Starting point is 00:18:53 It's my lawyer friend and she's gonna come and then it cuts to the fact. We see that she's actually having this conversation with many of the women as she invites them and now she's talking to Nicole and inviting her. And Nicole's like, by the way, are we good? So I guess they just decided that they're gonna be fine now. And like, she's like, oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:08 And like I want to say, I'm like good with you. Oh, well, you know, like, I don't want to be like in the middle because like I'm always in the middle. It's like with me and Peter and like the different like prostitutes that he dates all the time, you know? Like I'm always in the middle. You were not just in the middle. You were in the fight, ma'am.
Starting point is 00:19:24 But she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm good with you. Cinnacol's like, I mean, I'm not gonna change the way she thinks. So, what can I do? I'm just gonna go. Send back to Mary's Soul and Mary's Soul goes, oh my god, you're gonna see everybody. It sounds like a real shit-sheld, I don't mean.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. What are you doing over there? I'm playing the trumpet, isn't it hilarious? Oh, whoops, Flag just came out of it. Hey, so like I said, okay, well, you know what, I need you there. Like, you know, I need to be like very important for me that you're there because this lawyer is like very good. I'm just gonna talk about family law and there's gonna be a lot of things that we're gonna talk. Hello, are you there? Oh, I knew she wasn't there. I've just been sitting here talking to myself all this time.
Starting point is 00:20:05 You know, it's been like three hours. So now Lars is with her friend, what's her face? And, Zana. Zana. It's okay. And I'll trust you. And then she's doing something in the kitchen. And no, she goes, hey, name this.
Starting point is 00:20:23 I have to take some like photos for only like fans like. I have to like really like have moisturized legs and like feet like, let me get a better angle. Click, click, click, click. Okay, I'm done. And her friends like, um, so how much you gonna make off of that? She's like 40 grand, like, 40 grand.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Jesus Christ. I've got like eighth, eighth wonder of the world kind of feet. Why are paying people, why are people paying to come on my feet? I've got two toes stuck together on each foot and each of my feet are shaped like rectangles. Nobody, nobody's hard right now.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Just some of the content you might see on Ronnie's TikTok. Yeah. Yeah. Of course I would be the content you might see on Ronnie's TikTok. Yeah. Of course I would be an idiot and do it on a free channel. Yeah. You should hope only, only, what was the thing for the feet that they did on Vanderpump rules? You know what, I already like. That was so sad, it was that was so sad.
Starting point is 00:21:20 It's like remembering a death. They put like spaghetti on their toes. That was bad. Commissars, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast
Starting point is 00:21:44 from Wondry that shares of our Freshingly Honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?
Starting point is 00:22:09 And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad- free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So Larsa is like, yeah, I have to take photos. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:32 So my photos, those are my photos. Yeah, you know, last year, the girls gave me a hard time for my like only fans like account and I didn't like let it affect me because I was at the top point. Oh, oh, oh, 1% of influencers in the verifiably tragic category. So I like being at the top. It's kind of like my happy place. So then Larza is trying to open a bottle of wine with a knife because she's Larsa.
Starting point is 00:23:02 And she's like, well, Nicole, I had her engagement party like and then she like and invited me to it. She had like researched me remember this girl like she said like she really has to know people before she can let them into her house like she has to Google me. Oh my god let it go. It's not even the season get over it and she tells, I'm just such a people pleaser. We fucking know, dude, you have an only fans, okay? You're a top earner on only fans. You're literally the definition of people pleaser. She is so ridiculous. She's the exact, I mean, I, she's the opposite of people pleaser in terms of all her behavior. She goes, I took so much shit for leaving
Starting point is 00:23:41 Scotty and dealing with so many things publicly. And I was a people pleaser because, you know, because I left Scotty Pippin, which makes me a people pleaser. You know, if there's one thing, you know, remember how I said that I left Scotty Pippin because I finally wanted to do something for myself, because I'm a people pleaser. It's like, yeah, nothing good. You know, it's like, then, like when I leave Scotty Pippin and then like move to LA to be like, you know, scrounging off famous people to like build a scroungy scrounger of famous people career
Starting point is 00:24:15 like. And then like I start like fucking all of their friends. I'm just like a people pleaser. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like when my ex has been, like when his best friend used to say things like, oh, I hope that my son someday finds the love of his life, I'm just like such a people pleaser. So that's why I started dating Michael Jordan's son. Oh my god, this Michael Jordan's son think, this fucking girl. Okay, now you said it. Now we gotta go on the Instagram and go on the Larsa Pippin
Starting point is 00:24:48 Okay, so I've read this headline yesterday Larsa Pippin finally makes it Instagram official with Michael Jordan Sun First of all, I'm sorry Michael Jordan Sun I know you have a name and I know nobody in your life has ever used it. Does your father even use it? Does he call you Michael Jordan's son? Because that's the only thing I've ever seen so called. Maybe Jordanson. So I'm sorry for that first of all, because that's terrible.
Starting point is 00:25:15 So then I have to go on the set of scenes. I'm such a people, please do right now. So like I go on the Instagram to like see like what's happening like Instagram official like and they are in trophy room and they're standing in front of a big flower display that's in behind glass. This has Jordan number 23. It's the George Michael Jordan Jersey. That is so like offensive and transparent that you're just using this fucking guy. You have to go stand in front of his dad's jersey in a store to announce that you're fucking his son.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Come on, Larza. It's... That's some tacky shit right there. I'm sorry. It's wild. And of course, listen, and Kiki, love it. Lisa left two flames and a heart as her comment. And Kiki left two hearts. Oh, it's just nasty. Now it's just so rude.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Gross, yeah, now I'm looking at all the likes too. I don't like that they put all the blue checks first. I think that's so rude. It's like everyone else sucks, but here's what the famous people think. Yeah, like, uh, oh, Alexia, Alexia says, heart. What do you know basketball? You know, so anyway, I'm a people pleaser. So then her friend, who doesn't understand this at all, because she thought they were talking about Nicole
Starting point is 00:26:46 She doesn't get it so she goes well first of all Nicole's heard about you like she didn't have to Google you And so Lars is like yeah, but I was just like I've heard things about you too Like if you've heard things about me like you hooked up with doctors or whatever in a hospital like that's what I heard Mary So I'll say it so like but that's what I heard Mary so I said it. So like, but that's not the moral of the story. Like, the moral is like, you want to, want to believe what everyone, everything you hear, but like you don't want me to tell you things I've heard. And her friends took a few, and she goes, yeah, but like the way to get to know somebody
Starting point is 00:27:19 isn't by Googling them. She still hung up on the fact that Larza was so mad that somebody didn't know her because she had to Google her. Well, I just still love that Larza does not understand any of Nicole's point. You know, when she's saying like, oh, you want, you want, like, you want to believe, believe everything you hear about me, but you don't want me to believe anything I've heard about you. But it's like, no, she didn't say actually any of that about rumors. She's just saying, oh, I don't know. I barely met this person.
Starting point is 00:27:49 I don't really know this person. Not I haven't heard of this person. She's saying, I don't know this person as a friend. So I'm like, not necessarily going to open the doors of my house yet. I kind of want to like see who they are first. That's all she's saying. Not like, oh, I've never heard of Larissa Pippin. She's not a famous person, she's not someone
Starting point is 00:28:07 that the world knows about, which is also true by a large. So it's just funny that Larsa, Larsa's just so offended because her fame, she's interpreted that, her fame is in question. Yes. She's like, well, I will go below the bell. So maybe don't talk shit about me and I like won't say shit about you.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Because like I was like, I heard things about YouTube, like doctors, like that's it. And so the friend goes, well cheers to hangry bitches. It's just, yeah, they're hangry. So now we go to Nicole's house and her friend Dr. Lisa Paz comes over and that's Nicole's friend who's also a therapist and
Starting point is 00:28:47 They're just like talking about the party and their proof that she's a really good therapist is that we've seen her before in a season Giving therapy to remain a Joanna group bus. So yeah, I was just can we just pretend that didn't happen? Yeah, they did that relationship did not last, but I was like, I'm just so impressed with this show, like the show has been really good about doing call back to the first round, you know. So they are on earth, Dr. Lisa Paz, and they're talking about Nicole's dad and everything. And Nicole, basically it's just another person telling Nicole, it's time to get over it with your dad. Yeah, because Nicole's mortified. The dad shows up at the party.
Starting point is 00:29:35 He's wasted and she's like, yeah, but what would you do if that was someone else's dad? Who is wasted? She's like party with him. And then the therapist is like, yeah, exactly. So you need to get over it. No, no, I'm the same way. Listen, I don't want my parents showing up and acting like asses and getting wasted all over. But if your parents did, I would think it's hilarious. Why should my be different when it's my own family? I disagree with this therapist.
Starting point is 00:30:03 So well, their coals basically, she's like, I want to let him in. And like, I want to accept him for who he is, which is like, sort of a smaller version of somehow like a mix between James Garner and Ian Holm. You know, I want to be able to embrace that. But I don't know how to get let go 30 years of frustration, at least it's like, um, so when do you say I'm running a script that may not be as present as how he's doing today? Does he get judged on Saturday? Because it did a good job on Saturday.
Starting point is 00:30:33 He only made about five people I'm comfortable, as opposed to about 25. Fuck that advice. This guy keeps writing the script. This is not one of those things where her annoyance just keeps spinning out of control because it's a pattern the guy keeps doing shit Like I just showed up her house at Thanksgiving last year to cook a turkey and then go bang some young chick like let's not pretend that this is all in her head
Starting point is 00:30:53 I hate that part of therapy when I like this is something you need to let go no my dad needs to stop using me for turkey cooking She just needs to buy her dad a turkey roaster. That's what she needs to do. I love that this is now about the girlfriend, right? Because the dad has a girlfriend and Nicole explains to us. She's like, my dad loves to date women, young women, and he doesn't pick the good ones. He likes the crazy ones that will burn the house down. So now the therapist is like, yeah, you know what? You do need to forget about it and you need to make an effort with your dad. And you need to think about seeing the girlfriend too.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I was like, whoa, get out of my house. You Joanna Romain killer. Go. Joana Romain killer. And I did love that when they showed that flashback of her treating Joanna and Romain, when she gives them some advice and it cuts to the two of them staring at her like, huh?
Starting point is 00:31:52 It's like, this is what happens when two beautiful people go into therapy. They're very confused. So now we go to other Lisa, not Dr. Lisa Paz, but Lisa Hoxine in glam. And she's hugging her daughter and she's like, oh, this is a nice moment of Lisa being a mom. And then she's like, hey, you wanted some green juice.
Starting point is 00:32:12 She loves to eat and drink just like her mommy. I was like, mm. Mm. I'm not sure I've seen too much evidence of that. Also, I feel like every time they show Lisa with the kids, it's like they just let the kids out of a room, you know? Because she's getting her makeup done by the crew. You know, she's got like her whole crew there, a glam team.
Starting point is 00:32:32 And then the kid just runs, it's like they're like, okay, you can go in, you've got two minutes. It's like mommy, it's like, oh, I can't be here. Want to taste mommy's green juice? Okay, take her. Take her. I know. Let's talk about Judaism and while we do that,
Starting point is 00:32:51 please enjoy the thing that children love the most. Green juice. Let's talk about the new religion I want to introduce you children to. Go to pettiasum. Okay. Okay. So then we see Julia and Adriana Face Timing and Adriana is, she's, she's excited because
Starting point is 00:33:10 she's going to bring Terry's divorce papers to this luncheon so she can get, find that once and for all, if the divorce papers are truly real, she's going to ask the lawyer of this. She's going to shove those papers in her face. I'm gonna shove those papers in the lawyer's face. I was like, wow, I don't know that's how we need to enter a lunch. Also, Julia, is there a cat eating food out of your bathtub? What the fuck is going on in this house? I don't know. Are you gonna skip over the cat eating food out of a bathtub? What's happening?
Starting point is 00:33:42 Julia's house is starting to look like 12 monkeys a little bit. Remember, in 12 monkeys, all the animals get leased over Philadelphia to take over. That's what her house looks like. Uh, so Gerdy is talking to Nicole about how they're gonna, whatever. They're like, oh my God, I'm not gonna be able to go because I'm so busy.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I'm gonna be in the Cayman Islands and you know what, I told my son, it has to be Sunday because you know what? I'm in the Cayman Islands. So now we're gonna do it Sunday. Oh my God, I'm not going to be able to go because I'm so busy. I'm going to be in the Cayman Islands and you know what I told my son. It has to be Sunday because you know what? I'm in the Cayman Islands. So now we're going to do it Sunday. Oh my God. I hope it's okay. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I hope I have time to do it Sunday. What's the race? Is charista game that you put an iPad on your head because I tried to play that the other day with somebody in the office and they call me stupid. So I got to go back. I'm on a diplomatic mission to bring charista to the Cayman Islands. So so Lexia is setting a table and Marisol comes in and she goes, hey bro, I'm really hungry. Which means I need a cocktail. That's what I'm talking about. I don't need
Starting point is 00:34:35 a drink. Cackies. This wine bucket is only vocabulary. I want to talk about drinking I'm Mary's song I'm any proof don't you forget it are you tap dancing don't tap dance in here I'm sorry it's exciting prop are you sparklers don't like anything in here either we don't know this place so Alexia's like well you you know, like, all of us have been married and divorced in this group and like, all of us have been like giving Lisa advice, but like, we may not be giving a good advice, maybe giving her bad information. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:14 This is montage of them being like, burn the house down! Find us, dig and beat them over the head. This was so good when they were just showing all the advice that they were giving. You put the key in the lock, and if he's changed the lock, then pull the key off of the grenade, and then throw the grenade in a window, and then close your ears.
Starting point is 00:35:39 It's like, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Call 911 and say there's a bomb. See what happens. Higher children, higher children to kill him. No one will ever suspect children. So, well, wait a minute, guys. What about dolphins? I hear they're very smart. And they do an assassination.
Starting point is 00:36:02 I say dolphins, both the football players and the ones in the bay. So she's like, oh, and then, you know, just like the same situation that she's in, I had like, with Adriana, I like the divorce papers. So like, I looked it up on Miami day.com. And and it calls like, yeah, I'm glad you looked it up. up, because maybe there's an explanation or something. Like, maybe it's not a lie. She says, oh, I already got the explanation and what I didn't do. We didn't go all the way to the bottom.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Yeah. The guy is divorced. I nearly fell off my sofa. Ah. Ah. She didn't scroll to the bottom of the page. She got a screenshot from whoever, probably Johnny, and just didn't, she'd bother, she'd never bothered to look it up herself.
Starting point is 00:36:54 She'd never scroll down to find more updates. That is absolutely golden. So, I'm sorry. I'm out of the, the matter of times that she says Miami Miami day.gov on this show is so hilarious to I went to Miami day.gov I didn't scroll I didn't scroll and Mary so goes oh my god Well the worst and Nicole because like oh my god You didn't scroll down to the bottom of the screen. I mean you got to feel a little bit like an idiot right And then they just cut to Larsa walking in.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Oh, classic, so spastic. I also, I love how Larsa, I'm sorry, Alexia says it, like it's a big twist. Not like, oh my god, I'm so stupid, just guess what? He is divorced. Yeah, he is. I scrolled this time. He's divorced.
Starting point is 00:37:40 He's divorced. So then Alexia's like, oh hi, Larsa. Oh, Larsa, I love how you post today with your jewelry line. And Larsa just kind of waves it in the call. And she says, yeah, it was like, Tainty likes stuff today. Just, yeah, that's what people like and where. So it's like the other night Adrian is date, you know? Like I was such an asshole.
Starting point is 00:37:59 So God, you make everything about what you want to talk about. Oh my God, I loved your dainty jewelry because it's like the other night when Adriana's little man was like rude to people. I wish I could have like scrolled down on him. So then Julia walks in and she hears them talking about this and she says, I would rather have in the beginning when I walk in somewhere, hey, would you like to have drink? He has got to take care of, child to love. But instead, I'm hearing Adriana's date was a big asshole. So then Adriana walks in just looking like a robot. I mean, I don't know, I don't know if she had a little Sandy before she got here, but her eyes aren't moving, but her body is, it's really
Starting point is 00:38:42 weird. I don't know how to explain it. So then Alexi is like, okay, let's go, let's go have some lunch. So they go in and Larsa's like, guys, I've gained like 10 pounds, like, every time Lisa calls me it's bad news, like I eat, like, and I was like, Preston, is it like harder, like for her kids, or for like, you're, for my kids, like divorce,
Starting point is 00:39:02 because like, is it like old kids or like kids of Michael Jordan? Like who's harder for? And they were like, it's easier for the babies because they don't have like social media like. Yeah. So Julia's like, well, my daughters were mocked because they have moms who are lesbians and French people will be like,
Starting point is 00:39:23 Bozure, lesbians and French people will be like, Bonjour lesbians. So I walked to Martina and I give a biggest French kiss in the middle of Eiffel Tower Paris, fuck them. Oh yeah, speaking about that, I know how you feel about women. So Saturday night at Nicole's party, we had a man in the group that was disrespecting me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:39:42 This is like, how do you take gay bashing? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, well, I know that was likeing me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is like, how do you take gay bashing? Oh, well, I know that was like traumatizing the way that French people throw back at you head for being a lesbian. So it's like me being at Nicole's party. She takes. She's like, oh my God, that hate crime. That was like when that guy yelled at me
Starting point is 00:39:59 because I lied about him not being divorced. And Alexia is so funny because she tries to sell it by nodding a lot. That's like one thing you can't see, but like when we recap like this, but like, she'll just like nod and point, like, oh yeah, like exactly. It's the exact same thing, totally, totally.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Like, it's like, oh my God, like when you're in K-Bash, that totally reminds me of the time when I just got gassed this afternoon and they raised prices, like that's ridiculous, right? Yeah, she's like, he was disrespecting me. And she was like, how? Because I was sitting next to him and I think he was being very quiet and polite.
Starting point is 00:40:29 And Mary so goes, oh, you always have a glimmer of hope that these gathering of soul ghosts will blame it. Then it's like, no, you asshole. Of course it's not. Another brick on the wall. Mary so you don't need to literally carry around a brick. She's doing lounge version of Pink Floyd. Oh no, it's just another brick.
Starting point is 00:40:52 In the wall, am I right everyone? We don't need no education. Hit it boys. And actually this one, she's wearing that, that, the chicken, bizarre white dress, that chicken. She's like, five-point leg horn. Okay. wearing that, that the chicken bizarre white dress that chicken like horn. I say, I say, I say, we don't need another brick in the wall, kids, but she's also got like two claws. Did you notice that to you? Did you already mention that?
Starting point is 00:41:17 She's got two finger things that are really, they look like, um, corn, bugles, They look like bugles. But like a hot barbecue bugle. Yeah, but they're gold. And they're really, really long since he's got him on two fingers. What a fucking weirdo. Commissions. Here comes one right now.
Starting point is 00:41:41 So Alexi goes, yeah, he said I would give her papers if she could read. So you heard that comment then, right Julia? And Adriana goes, cause it was dark and we're over 50 so the vision's not the same. She goes, no, that was not the place for the time. And the point you walked in at, oh hi, Kiki, hi. Okay. But anyways, all I heard was was I don't know how to read and the fact that I've been spreading rumors that he's a married man and Adrienne goes you did you did though you spread the rumors you did you did you did oh well like how was I
Starting point is 00:42:17 spreading a rumor like telling you like by telling you how was I spreading a rumor by telling you literally a definition of spreading a rumor you had information that you talked to someone else about yeah and she goes oh my god oh I did I did I did what is this what is that mean I spread a rumor so then Adriana goes you should apologize for the slander and Alexia's like me apologize never gonna happen for what is never gonna happen slander slander you know Kiki and then kiki's like doing the sign of the cross. She's like my god But I said every time I walk in this is happening you know kiki's like I should have gone to Burger King So it's like now it's like I'm talking to a bully now
Starting point is 00:42:57 So then now Lisa arrives and everybody's just yelling and squawking at each other And everybody's just yelling and squawking at each other. It's just like And Alexis like well first of all like okay, oh well, I don't say I'm sorry for what I did I'm like not sorry for because by the way, I know he's not married. I found out that afterwards So yep, she says that is she's She says that like she just made the floor. Yeah, by the way, and I found out afterwards. He's not married I don't know if you know that but he's not married because I found out afterwards. You have to go all the way down and we did it So Adriana's like what and she goes yeah, it turned out you have to go all the way down and we didn't do it So then we did it and now we know and it's
Starting point is 00:43:42 You did it scroll down enough? Oh my God. It's just the way that Alexa holds onto it, like without any sort of apologetic tone of like, oh my bad, it's like, oh no, guess what? I, well, you're saying this thing, but guess what? I on earth a deep secret. And so now, yeah, well, I on earth, a deep secret.
Starting point is 00:44:05 And so, yeah, well, I'm wrong. So, will you be there that, bitch? So, it's like, he was not nice to be accused of dating a married man, because he's not married. It was not nice for you to accuse him of being married when he's not, and it was not nice of you to go digging through his records when it was none of your baseness. And then Alexi is just shaking her head now. Like no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:44:31 And it goes like, guys, you need to stop because we're like a group of friends, but we can all agree that intent is what matters. Because like what was done wasn't great, but the intent was in that and it didn't matter. So the Adriana says, I agree. Yeah. And that's our problem, Larsa. I was like, oh my God. You're good.
Starting point is 00:44:50 I would like to air my grievances. Also, haven't we, isn't this the thing that we've been hearing? Like isn't Nicole saying the exact opposite of what we've been hearing the past few years of like how we should be approaching things of impact over intention, that like you can intend to do the nicest thing, but what was your actual impact? And then it goes like, no, intention over impact. Intention over impact guys. So yeah, so now she's like, and Larsa, I think honestly, that's what our problem is.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Because you made a statement in public with people that we don't know. And you have zero evidence to support this malicious, malicious statement. It's salacious, which is different than malicious, but it sounds like malicious and it's slanderous. And your intent by that statement was to embarrass me. And like to just now on, it's like to show you like, I don't judge you. Like I found out you would like the biggest slut in town. And I didn't I didn't judge you for it. She's, oh yeah, then what was your intent? And she's like, then let me tell you then, because I didn't I didn't judge you for it. She's oh yeah, then what was your intent? And she's like then let me tell you then because I can't get loud cheer look I just got loud look and she's one. Hey, is it weird? What's weirder for a mom of grown kids to get loud or for a mom of little kids to get loud? Or for the girlfriend of Michael Jordan sent to get loud, which is the weirdest.
Starting point is 00:46:05 So, yeah, Nicole's like, I didn't personally attack you, Larsa. And Larsa's like, but you personally attacked me. I told you a rumor I heard. She has a DM. I heard people. I have DMs. I have DMs. I have DMs. I have DMs. I have DMs. And Nicole's like, DMs don't mean whatever. And so now the lawyers come in, okay? And they're all screaming at each other. All you hear is, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. So Laura says, like, I'm not showing you,
Starting point is 00:46:32 I'm not showing you anything then. And she goes, okay, well, show me them because you don't have fucking shit near DMs. And so Adriana dings the glasses and she goes, we have guests in the house, we haaaaaaay. And Kiki goes, if I was the lawyer in this group of bitches, I would say, harder in my court or I'm taking all these bitches to jail. Can he do that?
Starting point is 00:46:56 Kiki's like very scared of lawyers now. I'm just gonna send her to jail. I fucking love her. And it makes me wonder if they cut out a lot of Kiki diary room stuff last year, because Kiki really shines in the diary room. Kiki is wonderful. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:11 So Alexa's like, oh well, you know, this is Jamie Altman and this is Michael Altman and they do family law and like they're here to bring some peace. So let's try to break them as best we can. Okay, everyone, start. So Julie is like, I'm so jealous. Yeah, sorry, I just scrolled down. So Julie's try to break them as best we can. Okay, everyone, start. So Julie, yeah, sorry, I just scrolled down. So Julie's like, Yes, can I ask question?
Starting point is 00:47:30 All of you scroll down, congratulations. I know, I learned it from the show, you know? So like it doesn't end in the middle. I was like, bye everybody. Thank you for listening to, you know, watch for crappings, but. I know, I thought only like five things happened on this episode, but you know what, if you scroll,
Starting point is 00:47:44 there's like more So Julia's like can I ask question if are If this don't say gay bill pass how difficult is it for gay couple to adopt child? And he's like as far as I'm aware there's no problem whatsoever because no one said their gay Kessel was working But what about Gilt? Is the goat gay? Perhaps. Well, unfortunately, we cannot do that. So um, Lars is like, Julia, are we adopting and Alexia goes like,
Starting point is 00:48:20 oh, well, you're feeling empty nest, right? Like girls left your feeling empty nest, you know, like that's why you get big dog, you know, and like Dina Manoff, the Christie McNeco movie on with you. You're feeling empty-nest, right? Like girls left your feeling empty-nest, you know? Like that's why you get big dog, you know? And like, Dina Manaff, a Christie McNichol movie on with you, you're feeling empty-nest, huh? I guess. Yeah, and Julie is like, well, it was just so crazy at lunch, just fighting. I don't want to share something so happy and positive right now. Like, then why don't you bring it up? So then, Adriana is like, okay, can I ask one now? Because even though I was just vindicated, I want to say it again because I planned on shoving these papers in a face.
Starting point is 00:48:48 So, can you tell me if this divorce is indeed filed? And she does shove it right in her face. And Alexis is like, I already said it was. I scrolled, okay? This is a very important man. He was in Tootsie. Alexia, this is not Sydney Pollock. This is your lawyer. Adriana is just determined to have this moment with the lawyer. So he's like, yeah, yeah, she was right. Right. I told you, right.
Starting point is 00:49:14 And he says, he says the judge signed off on this in December 19th, 2019. And everyone applauds. Everyone claps. And I was like, whoo, saddle, nothing else can go for Alexi as she still pissed. Oh, yeah, well, he's still a disrespect for asshole, just so you know. So Adirana is like upset that Alexa can't even muster no apology. So then Nicole's like, okay, well, since we're like airing personal grievances to you, judge lawyer, I want to ask a question about defamation of character specifically how it relates to professionals who is having slanderous comments that are salacious potentially malicious and then About to be a professional setting by the way and apparently a professional setting includes going to
Starting point is 00:50:00 the opening of a pocket bookstore and Alexi it tells us you're married to an attorney, bro. Are you trying to start a fight? You're trying to make this about you. And so she goes, you know what? You have the wrong kind of attorney. And then Quo goes, you didn't go to law school so you should stop talking.
Starting point is 00:50:15 And she goes, no, you're not that smart. You're not that smart. Listen, ask your husband about defamation of character then. You have the wrong field, bro. So Michael's like, so Frankie meanwhile comes out of his room, right? And he's just standing on the stairs watching them scream at each other and they just start making the talking motion with his hand and looking around at the crew and he goes, they're so loud.
Starting point is 00:50:39 So then Michael's like, okay, ladies, maybe we need a time and Marisol's like, well, she's paying for his time. That's a dumbass question. Why would you ask that question when he's on the clock and Nicole goes, oh, I am sorry, sir. How much money do you charge for an hour? Like as if he's like a prostitute or something like that. So he's laughing because he's awkward. He doesn't want to talk about finances on TV. then like that. You know, so he's like laughing, because he's awkward. He doesn't want to talk about finances on TV.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Yeah, and Alexia goes, what is like five or seven hundred an hour and I'm not gonna waste it with stupidity. So Nicole runs for her purse and she grabs the card out of it and they're like, sit down, sit down Nicole. And she's, she like throws the card at the lawyer and she's like, there. And Alexia goes, is oh my god sit down
Starting point is 00:51:26 Marisol's like oh my god talk about Novela moment. I was in a novella moment Slow motion Nicole grabbing that credit card tossing it in slow motion Can you still hear me through this thing? Nicole grabbing that credit card tossing it in slow motion. Can you still hear me through this thing? Yes, football helmets are open on the front Mary saw. What's that fervor as if she was going to get an Olympic gold? That's a Nestle Crunch bar Mary saw.
Starting point is 00:52:02 I'll just go with me. Just go with me. bar Mary Saul. I'll just go with me. I just like that Nicole gave this lawyer a her credit card as if like the lawyer is carrying around the square reader or something like that. So funny. Like, no one even cares about pretending to respect. And she has answered the question, I'm happy to pay for your time. And Nicole's like, what are they mad that I'm offered to pay? Or is it the fact that I have a black A-mex? Are you mad that I have a black A-mex and you don't? Yeah, it's a black A-mex. It's not an A-mex, it's an A-mex. So Lars is like, well, lawyer, like your honor lawyer. If you hear a rumor and you say it while you talk to someone is that Defamation and if you're holding a mirror when that happens because someone gave you a mirror is that defamation to and so it's like well
Starting point is 00:52:54 Ornerly not or nearly not did you hear that or nearly not? Yeah, or nearly not did you hear it? He said or nearly not like well It's defamation is a whole different ball game entirely and it depends. Ball game. Oh, is that like basketball game? Because I'm dating Michael Jordanson. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:53:14 It depends on this type of statement that was made. And if it's slanted, it's just, it's, we don't do this. It's a different, different practice than us. Yeah, and Mary Sol just claps her hands and stands and she goes, the other night at your party, right? You said she needs to prove it or apologize Nicole, right? And I got a DM a while ago. And so I'm a drama's like, oh my God, of course Mary Sol has to prove everyone knows you
Starting point is 00:53:38 spread gossip Mary Sol, even the Pope knows. The pups like God. That why no I stopped talking to her years ago. So Nicole's like, Larsa, like Larsa could have like DMed you under like a fake account. Please, this means like nothing. Yeah. And so Larsa's like, but I wouldn't my friend. I like you. I have a business and a lot going on. And then Nicole just starts cracking up with Adriana.
Starting point is 00:54:04 They're like, oh my God, please. It's like you're talking to someone like with an actual career you know yeah and so Nicole's like yeah Larson's their board sending DMs board foul she was I wasn't there I wasn't there with some rumor like just oh yeah Nicole slept with every doctor at the hospital that's a rumor she was okay whatever Nicole Slip with every doctor at the hospital. That's a rumor. She was okay. Whatever Nicole Whatever I'm gonna start banging a table to quiet everyone down. It's like it's Bedlam and Nicole So you know what I should you know what I should play a little violin. I know what I'm gonna play it for you And the guys like okay guys, let's get back on track and Diana goes user will now show evidence exhibit a and so Mary Sohansa function a call and Nicole reads it. I have heard from friends with
Starting point is 00:55:00 work that Nicole slept with a resident while she was married, which is why she was separated can because you can't be married and separated at the same time. And Mary so goes, yeah, on the point was we knew that and no one judged you for it. So, Nicole, and we didn't judge you for the fact that your miniature violin went dunka, dunk dunk, dunk, instead of like a proper miniature violin. Well, that's not fair because you have an actual violin. Oh, well, you know, she's violent. That's what she's saying right now.
Starting point is 00:55:34 She's such a violent. So Nicole, then now Nicole's mad that Marisol was sitting on this DM for months and didn't bring it up and that she was keeping it in her back pocket to use Against her so now Nicole's mad about that and then she basically says guys we were together for 12 years and we separated and during our time of separation I had a real relationship we got no not with a goat I'm sorry I ask this is against law don't say good I forgot law this is against law. Don't say good. I forgot law. This lawyer will put you in prison. Be careful. Oh, thank you, Kiki.
Starting point is 00:56:14 So on the call, it's like, yeah, I mean, it happens. You know, we were too concentrating on dolls living our best lives. Like, why is it that you guys get to turn this into something scandalous? I feel like every time I'm with you you I need to be read my Miranda rights. Like seriously, I feel like anything I say or do can be held against me in this group of friends. And why don't we kind of stop listening to Mary Soul guys? She's drunk after time. She's not an accurate source. Yeah. So uh...
Starting point is 00:56:40 You guys... You guys are for proof. That wasn't proof! And Larsa, your comment was you have slept with everyone in the hospital. So where did that come from? Whatever bro, whatever dude, whatever, whatever like, like whatever like. It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:56:56 You should have the fuck up, shut the fuck up. Okay, otherwise I'm going to spill green juice in all your faces. Stop talking to Loya, I actually need advice. All right, I have a question for the lawyer. Okay, you imagine the general lawyer, Postmate, governor, just a general question about my friend, Shmisa and her friend Jenny. What would happen if the wife and the husband
Starting point is 00:57:24 didn't want the new person who has entered the chat around their children? So he's like, oh, well, you want to keep the kids out of their relationship as much as possible. We always tell our clients, you discretion, don't go somewhere when you know your spouse is going to be there with someone else. At least it's looking away. They all start laughing because Lisa's totally not out already. I definitely did not go to a club during F1 when all my friends said don't go out during
Starting point is 00:57:49 F1 because Lenny's gonna be out. And the lawyer's like, because Sally could find herself in a bad situation. She goes, yeah, but what about Harry? What about what he's doing? And he goes, well, Harry's not using discretion, obviously. And Murray so goes, oh my god, actually, I have a friend named Sally too. I want to ask about Sally. They show Lisa's face, but it's all blurred out. And it's Marisol's friend Lisa, Sally. And so Marisol's
Starting point is 00:58:23 like, well, my friend Sally has lots of beautiful jewelry and handbags, I'm worried that Harry is gonna take them away from her and give them to slut face. And the lawyer's like, well, you know, you need to go through an inventory, everything. And Laura says, Laura says like, yeah, inventory like is like, can I ask you a question? Cause I have like, out of situations where like,
Starting point is 00:58:44 a guy wants to buy a home for the ex and like put it in a trust, but like does that mean the guy will buy a nicer house purchase? If like he knows it's gonna go into a kid's trust, like for children instead of adults. And like, how old does the kid have to be before the trust like actually comes through to him? Like, can he be be 32 or something?
Starting point is 00:59:06 So then the lady lawyer is like, yeah, well, sometimes, yes, we do find that with clients. That's like a, that does help a bit. And like she says, oh, so would you advise women to be more open to that idea? Like more being more open to, you know, hint, hint, Lisa, take the house while you're being offered the house. Ha, ha, hint, hint, Lisa. And she's like, well, it depends.
Starting point is 00:59:26 Like we'll limit the wife's ability to live there. Like if she has someone else with her. And of course, like, right, he doesn't want to pay for you to live with Bob. Mary's also like, but to leave the domestic homestead. And the guy is like, well, first of all, she doesn't have to leave unless there's a violence or an injunction or unless the other party goes for Exclusive use something like that, but the problem is is that the prenup there is it actually states in the prenup And I know this from the Pravadaqa that if you if they get divorced for whatever reason no matter whose fault It is that she needs to leave the house within. I think it's 10 days.
Starting point is 01:00:05 I mean, it's crazy. I can't believe she ever signed that. But the other argument is that they didn't have kids at that time. So none of this really accounted for the kids. So who knows how it's gonna work out in the end, but that is why he's trying to get her out. He's like, listen, it's in the prenup,
Starting point is 01:00:22 you signed it, get the fuck out, right? Mm. So, um, at least it's like, I mean, it's in the prenup you signed it get the fuck out, right? So um, at least it's like, I mean it takes such a long time and I could stay there until all this is solved, right? And he's like, well, yeah, you know, she's like, but this could all take so long. And um, he's like, oh, we still doing the Sally Harry thing or really finally dropping that the Sally Harry thing or really finally dropping that. He goes, you might not even get a trial date till next year and she's like, yeah, without a trial date, both people could just have to be in the same house. Oh, God. And Marisol's like, listen, everything's going to be great. You have amazing friends, the lot of power and connections outside of Nicole. And you have the best therapist. Okay, we've all been there in a different way. And then Nicole tries to give this spin, like,
Starting point is 01:01:06 yeah, because like, that's what this is about, because for the past 30 minutes, we haven't argued. We've rallied support for you Lisa. We spent 30 minutes not arguing for you. I mean, that's magic. Oh, so now are you going to apologize to me for calling me a lyrelexia? She goes, I'm not apologizing.
Starting point is 01:01:22 This is like, oh, for fuck's sake, I'm leaving. That's it. Yeah. to me for calling me a liar Alexia she goes I'm not apologizing Lisa's like oh for fuck's sick I'm leaving yeah she was like I need to change my bandage for when I was beaten by chicken goat okay so that's the other party it just um that scene was complete fucking crazy town and I love that so now we go over to Lisa's and Lisa is, you know, the kids are fighting and she's trying to get them to stop and Elle wants a toy and of course it's another fucking gun of Logan's. I mean the kid has a fucking entire weapons cash over there.
Starting point is 01:01:58 So they're fighting over the gun and Elle's in the wrong so she gets, you know, sent to a timeout. But meanwhile Lisa is trying to talk to the mother and mom arena and Lenny's coming home now and so she just stands casually by the couch watching him through the glass door walking in and just pretending she's not watching him but she totally is and he just walks right by her. Yeah he just like walks in the house and walks directly upstairs and Lisa says like ever since Lenny served to voice papers,
Starting point is 01:02:25 Lenny has not been sleeping in the house. He'll come back to work, he'll do a workout, and then do like a flashback to two seconds ago, and watch, but now it's like Lenny walking through the foyer, but now it's black and white and slow motion, like, dun, dun, dun. So she goes upstairs, and she's talking about how the kids are acting out, because her daughter,
Starting point is 01:02:44 like she winds up whacking Lisa on the cheek with like this green toy or whatever. And so Lisa's saying how like the kids are picking up on it, like the older kid is asking questions, the younger kid doesn't know what's going on, but she's picking up on anxiety. So she is basically saying things are going bad. So she goes upstairs to Lenny and she asks Lenny about,
Starting point is 01:03:08 like if he brought home checks from the office and he's just like a huge dick about it. He has like what checks? And she says for the Nanny and he's like, you told me that after I left the office and she's, well I'm right now, they're filming. So just you know, I mean, what are you gonna give me a hello? Cause now the camera, well, he's like, look, I mean, what are you gonna give me a hello? Because now the camera
Starting point is 01:03:25 Well, he's like look I have cash I can give you Lisa and then he just looks at the cameras that comes in the room And just what what because yeah, I don't want to really be on film right now Lisa, okay? But if you tell me there's an anecdote stairs, I have enough to pay her if we need to and the cameras back that but we can still hear them on mics Yeah, and she's like why wouldn't she say hi to me? He goes, I don't wanna say hi to you. I don't, I don't want to talk to you. I've nothing to say to you. She's like, you gotta be rude like that.
Starting point is 01:03:50 You gotta be mean. He goes, I got nothing to say to you. She's like, you're being so cold. This is a relationship you wanna have. He's like, please leave. Oh God. And he goes, no, this is a relationship you wanna have. She's like, oh yeah, what kind of relationship is that?
Starting point is 01:04:03 And he goes, you won't cooperate. Who's advising you? Okay. The whole point is me trying to give you more than what you're entitled to, Lisa. When someone does that, you don't fight with them. You try to be more accommodating. And she's like, I don't understand the disrespect. I'm the mother of your children.
Starting point is 01:04:18 And he goes after our conversation today, no. If you want the court to tell you everything, fine. They can tell you. And she's like, but you're trying to tell me to leave the house immediately. And he's like, I know you're not going to leave voluntarily. And so I know you're, he says, I know you're going to have to be told to leave. And I already know that the difference is that now I would be trying to, like, the difference is now I would be trying to prepare someplace so that you could have a place to go when that happens. Do you get that? Do you get that?
Starting point is 01:04:48 Do you understand it or not? So she's like, and she just like walks out and leads the room. So that's where the episode ends, which is that Lenny is just a piece of shit, like a big piece of shit. Yeah, this marriage is fucking crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. So that was that episode, really fun episode until that part, but you know, it's gotta happen.
Starting point is 01:05:13 It's gotta happen sometimes. But really great episode overall. I'm so excited to do this next episode live next Thursday night here in Austin, Texas. Then the next night Friday is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City in Dallas. Get your tickets if you're a Texan. And do not forget to go follow us on TikTok if you're a TikTok kind of gallor guy, okay? Join us.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Yeah, thanks everyone. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Watch what crap ends. we'll talk to you next time. Bye! Hey! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice and King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella! Itch-o-s!
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