Watch What Crappens - RHOM: Miami Advice
Episode Date: January 27, 2023This week on Real Housewives of Miami (S5 E11), Alexia invites a lawyer to lunch, ostensibly to offer advice, but instead he becomes witness to Nicole taking down Larsa.See Privacy Policy at ...https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we
just love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelka, and joining me today
is the hilarious, enhancing, and wonderful
Ronnie Karam.
Hi, Ronnie, how are you?
Well, you little sweet tart.
I've been out.
So guess what, everybody?
We are now on TikTok, the social media giant.
Mostly just right now is just like little clips
and stuff in the show and some of the old stuff we did,
but hey, come on there, okay,
we're gonna start posting stuff on there.
I've already been practicing my little stand-in-place dances.
Yeah, everyone go watch it.
It's at Watchware Crappens,
we're just typing Watchware Crappens.
For all the hot TikTok, you don't stop action.
They're really gonna have color.
I'm on there as Ronnie Karem.
What are you on there?
Are you on there?
I'm on there, but so far, you can follow me.
I'm Ben Mandelker on there.
I have not actually made anything.
I haven't dipped my toe into the TikTok world
in terms of creation just yet. I've been oddly apprehensive. Like, there time in my life where I would just be like I'm telling I'm gonna crazy
but I
Just every time I go into TikTok I
I just get distracted away from from being a creator myself so
Okay, but now I feel inspired
Follow at Ronnie Kerr and watch what crap it's no you can follow me to I'll I'll do something
But I am more inspired to make stuff for watch what crap and then to make my own little videos at the moon
Me too. I don't really make much for myself
Either way war you can come follow us in person
because next week, mere days from now,
we're going to Austin, Texas to recap
the real housewives of Miami,
which is also what we're recapping today.
Miami is having an amazing season
and it's just out of control.
So let's kick off the Cheetah Brand Tour,
the best way possible by everyone coming to Austin
and just like let's all laugh at this amazing show.
And then the very next night let's do it all over again for part two of the Salt Lake City reunion,
which we are going to be doing in Dallas, Texas, Texas City's OH-Treatless Right.
So let's just like kick off the tour big time. And then after that, here are the cities. In case you missed them, Phoenix,
for big time. And then after that, here are the cities in case you missed them. Phoenix, LA for the Golden Crappies. Really excited. We just booked a whole new guest today. Very
excited about that. Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto,
Philadelphia, New York City, DC, San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago, Columbus, Boston, and finally in late June, Foxwoods in Connecticut.
So it's so fun.
Go to watchcrapins.com to get your tickets.
Foxwoods, casino, get ready for us.
We're coming for you.
Yeah.
So, real housewives of Miami, another hilarious.
This episode was hilarious.
Yeah, this was another just fantastic episode.
Also, just, I wanna shout the girls, the girls.
Let's start it with some good old-fashioned
sogyny sexism, shall we?
The ladies of the Bravo docket.
You know, I love that podcast.
I talk about it on here a lot
and I will be mentioning it a lot today because they just had an episode
Talking about this divorce the Hawkson divorce and the pre-naught, which is so I'm gonna be referencing that a little bit today
But at the end of their podcast they were like oh and it's usual go get your tickets for watch what crap
And so both be there and like you guys are like finishing tickets for us and
get your tickets for Watch Your Crappens. We'll both be there.
Like you guys are like fishing tickets for us.
And you are so sweet.
And it's also really cool to listen to a podcast that I love
and genuinely listen to all the time.
Shout us out.
So thank you guys.
You do not have to do that.
I'm just chatting you out all the time
because you literally give such good information.
So if you guys want to hear about this prenup,
I'll bring up some of
it today. But it's like Lisa signed the dumbest ass prenup I've ever even heard of anybody
signing a mat. And there have been some.
He's not seem to. No. I mean, get out of here. Oh my God. But it's so bad, Ben. And we'll,
you know, we'll get to it when that part comes up. But go listen to it. It's worth a listen. Let me guess. She gets
none of his money, but she does get a box of Lara bars. Pretty close. Except Lenny is not
going to spring for the Lara bars, but the first part you got right. It's an empty box
of Lara bars that she can put her loose change into.
Yeah, basically, then he's like,
okay, if we divorce,
you have to be out of the house in 10 days
and you're gonna pack a gum
and you have to leave all your shoes.
I'm like, okay, okay, so I'm screwed.
Let's get married.
Wow, well, I can't believe Lisa Hawksley
and her rush to get married Well, I can't believe Lisa Hawksdien in her
Rushed to get married to a prominent plastic surgeon would have just signed away all her rights I just wouldn't have thought that. Yeah, well there you go. It's just another example of
You know rich people taking advantage of immigrants
Yeah
Could those Canadian immigrants just being used and abused every time we turn around, you know.
So we are at the engagement party from last week and there's a fight because because there's
a fight because Nicole's talking about why she just invited Larza to happen because Larza
to happen what's had been a goal up with every doctor in the hospital.
She didn't like it and she's crying
because her professional reputation could be damaged.
Not that this show would ever do that for her,
but Larza's rumor would be the thing
that would ruin her reputation.
Right.
And so she saw pissed off and she's like,
the day that one of you girls worked for something
for 20 years and a girl who has never worked a day in her life tries to shit on it is that's the day that you're
gonna get pissed and she walks off and she puts her hand on Johnny's shoulder because he's like
comforting her, he's like holding like holding her arm and she puts her hand on his shoulder as she
walks away like and I can take her gay too so don don't forget about it. Yeah, because Alexia's defense was like,
well, anyone can say whatever they want. So, so then she was by the way, by the way, just so you
know, for future reference, anyone can say anything that they want unless there is a lawyer on retainer
for a few hours, which case you can only say smart questions.
Yes.
So now Nicole goes over to do some of those whippable moons
and she, you know, helps set up this entire party.
So she already knows what they are,
but Anthony mansplains it.
He's like, you know what these are?
They're like balloons and then you like in hell
and they have alcohol in them.
So you don't drink the alcohol,
but you still get the effect.
And she's like, oh my God, thank you.
That's totally new information.
Thank you.
I also liked when Nicole was talking about how, like,
you know, she was thinking that her friends would have her back
and know how hard it is to be a Latino woman
and to be a professional and et cetera.
And she's like, for them not to care
and for them to be so nilly, willy at repeating rumors that aren't true And she's like, for them not to care, and for them to be so
nilly-willy at repeating rumors that aren't true, that's like heartful. That's like peak nilly-willy-ness.
I do not like it. So nilly-willy. So then Lisa drives up and, you know, it's an engagement
party in Miami. So, you know, you were like, nothing. I want to be in a position where I can just come to one of these parties one day and not
feel completely crazy.
I just can't imagine leaving the house like anyone in Miami leaves the house.
Like, okay, I put on underwear on one side of my cheek.
Okay, my vagina is on my forehead.
And I've got my penis on my ankle.
Okay, let's go.
I'm ready for the party.
Let's do this.
Don't forget that Lisa is the one who showed up
for Alexia's mom's memorial dressed like a sexy leprechaun.
She's like,
Oh, do people wear black to these things?
She not only didn't wear black,
she wore like me on green.
You're right, I just wore like Dennis ball, not Leopardcon.
So Lisa walks in because she's like,
I'm so happy for Nicole and Anthony,
but at the same time, it makes me a little sad
because I'm not there anymore.
It's difficult to be there and am I happy
when I'm happy, you know, when I'm going through
what I'm going through.
So she walks in and Marisol goes,
Monkey.
when I'm going through what I'm going through. So she walks in and Marisol goes,
monkey.
Hey.
It's my little monkey poem.
So she goes to sit with Alexia and Alexia.
He's like, caviar, caviar guy, come here.
That's caviar, right?
Okay, give me the caviar.
So they start eating some caviar.
And she's like, so have you seen Lenny?
She's like, yeah, he told his mom and his dad today
that he never wants to see them,
will speak to them ever again.
And she's like, oh my god, this caveat.
So good.
Did he really say that to his own parents?
Yeah, they were all in the pool.
And there was Lenny and the kids.
And there was a play day that I had set up.
And then Marina was arguing.
And he said, get the fuck out of here.
I never want to see her face again.
In front of the kids and the play date.
Later on, I found out the play date
was actually his new girlfriend,
but that's neither here nor there.
Ha ha ha.
I mean, she tells us what mother could handle that, you know?
Now that's not to say that Marina raised Lenny
in any horrible way or anything.
I mean, you turn out professionally amazing.
Like, look at him, he's amazing, you know?
Like a man who just like takes a sharpie
and marks on a woman woman all of her most insecure
sections of her body and promises to fix them for thousands of dollars.
I mean professionally, wow, good mothering there.
But on a personal level, you know, it's just like fucked up.
Like this is not normal behavior.
No, but she basically saying that's, Marinette actually did fuck up.
So Lenny sent to force papers, so now it's like really official.
And the producer asks if she's talked, if he's talked to her, it's into the papers.
It's just, no, Lenny is not trying to work with me.
He's not trying to talk to me.
I don't even know who I'm talking to.
When I look into those eyes, the person I knew is dead.
Well, it's more like they're dead, but they have hair
plugs. Does that make sense? It's like they're dead, but they can still sweat the smell of
like cucumbers mixed with like chopped onions. It's weird. And Gerdy, who's always trying
to bring it out, she's like, yes, yes, I know that all of this is happening to you. I'm
so sorry, but tonight is about love. Don't think about it Because tonight isn't just about Nicole and love for ourselves or sucking things in from balloons
You know, it's about love for each other. It's about love for caviar like Alexie loves the caviar
It's about love for I can I love I can oh my god. I'm so busy right now. I can't even talk right now
I'm sorry. It's love for standing under 360 and watching that camera go around you. So
now now Adriana and Tieri are going to have their scene. So he sits down and he puts a hand around Adriana's shoulder.
He's like, it's all awkward.
He's all hiked up.
He's ready to go.
And he goes, I propose a toast.
A toast to people minding their bloody business and not starting ugly rumors about me
that I'm a married person.
I was like, oh bro, whoa.
It's not gonna go well for you.
No, but you met some classic Mary Sol.
Mary Sol is over with Nicole's dad
at the bar, of course, where else.
Oh no, they're doing the 360 taking pictures together.
And the dad's like, I wanna go to bed with her.
And she goes, huh, don't get a twisted, bro. 360 taking pictures together and the dad's like, I want to go to bed with her.
And she goes, huh, don't get a twisted brown.
And then when she comes over to Ariana, she goes, oh, Mary soul, I love your dress.
Very fun. What are you drinking? And she's like, it's calm, the jackpot.
Mary soul is in her moment right now. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- for you, this is a wrong group. And he's like, oh, then I'm a married person, public record, I can prove it.
Yeah, he's like, and Marisol's like,
well, I don't know you, so I don't know what you told her.
You know how men are, and he's like,
and it's like, oh, well, you know what?
Oh, well, you know what, non-Peter?
Guess what, I can prove to you.
I can prove to you that you're married.
Okay, I'm proving to you right now.
He's like, oh, no, I can prove it.
Oh, here, I got something.
Can you read? Did Ken, you reach? She's like oh no, I can breathe it. Oh here. I got something can you read?
Did can you reach it's like oh?
And so then he tries to pivot and go do you need glasses? That's what I'm trying to say. Do you need glasses?
Gurly's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa me and so he pulls out the papers and she goes first of all you're talking to a woman so you should use some respect and then Adriana hands the papers over and she goes no no no no no no no no I don't
even care I'm like wipe this with my butt okay. Yeah Adriana is like I cannot believe these
Alexia has been making this such a big deal like denial denial is a perfect tool. And Alexia is quite versed in this.
And Alexia is like,
you're triana, what does that mean?
denial is a powerful tool.
And Alexia is quite versed in that.
Okay. What?
Well, I think meaning that Alexia was married
to like a drug dealer and then a closet again,
man, apparently everyone in town knew it was gay.
So Alexia is like, why are you so aggressive?
Why are you so aggressive?
And they're trying to say, he's a doctor and he felt like his reputation was on the line.
So.
Then how come it came out and Miami did records that he's still married.
Here you go.
Here you go.
And she gives us phone and she shoves it in his face.
And he's like, oh really?
I thought you didn't know me.
Just not divorced.
It says right here, right in the middle of this page,
where everything important is.
And he's just giving this like weird evil smile.
I mean, he really looks like he's lying to me.
He does look, he does, even though he's vindicated,
he definitely looks like he's lying.
And he, Marisol's like, well, maybe they have
an updated the website, yeah.
Oh, okay, so, the the website. Yeah. Okay.
Her so, the earthlink.net, I don't know,
those are the servers I use for my emails.
Oh, okay.
Okay, Mary so, okay.
Don't give me upset Mary so, okay?
And she's like,
Oh, can I have a new best friend?
And I just pick a new best friend, Lee.
I want to support her out on the other way.
So, Mary so, dipping into her reserve of like like like hotel lobby piano act comedy
that she's doing.
Can I have a new best friend?
Am I telling you guys?
Alright.
Hey while we're talking about a new best friend, I'll just bring out a new prop this big
black feathered fan while I sit in a white feathered skintine outfit like every scene
that's a new fucking prop.
Like does she have,
she have a dresser there?
Like, where is she getting all this shit?
Maybe.
She just has a trunk at her feet.
So Adriana's like, I don't want to say that I'm going out.
I don't want you to say that I'm going out with a married guy
and Alexa's like, oh, well, you know what?
You know what?
You're going out with an asshole.
An asshole.
That's what you're going out with an asshole.
It's because he felt attacked.
You don't know, you know what the voice paper looks like.
So look at the divorce paper.
And Alexa, you runs off.
She's like, no, no, I will not do this.
So Adriana gets a marital space and she goes,
why?
Why is she doing that?
Why is she doing that?
Why?
And where is so, it's like, I don't know.
I was expecting this today.
She has her own minds. I mean, I don't know, I was expecting this today. She has her own minds.
I mean, I don't.
No, she does.
So Lexi goes up to Johnny and she's like,
oh, well, you know, Adriana is like fighting with me.
Like, and the guy, I'm like, I'm like about to punch him.
Like, because I showed him,
I showed him that he was divorced
on a screenshot of the screen
that was also the same size of the screenshot.
So therefore, there's no more information above below or to the left or
to the right of what I showed him.
And then mean what it just cuts the tieri is like massaging his
sinuses and laughing evenly, you know, because you know, he just like did
like a huge rail before this scene.
And Adriana is like, I would never go out with a married guy.
And Mary soul goes, oh, okay, cool.
I already checked out at the scene a long time ago.
Hey, I'm gonna go see if I can find that dress I have
that looks like a chicken.
Marisol, who started this entire storyline
is just completely bored.
Yeah, that's really cool.
Have you ever seen a Robert Chanchan come out
of a Martini shaker?
And hilarious.
So now it's like a new day and we're seeing what everyone's doing around town.
Lisa's working out in her home gym.
Gurdie's making tacos and her kids like building something with Legos on a table nearby.
Oh, hey, just so you know, a family game that's gonna happen on Sunday.
That's happened on Sunday because I have to travel. It's gonna be a family again on Sunday. He's like
I really don't care. I was not I had not mentally you know accepted the fact that it was now gonna be a weekly thing
I was hoping just to get her out, but I'll just go back to my leg as
So the nolexia starts calling people she starts with Mary soul and Mary soul is like hey, bro
I can't hear you. It's something's not connecting with my blue
I can't hear you. Something's not connecting with my blue too. Oh, well, I'm just making some calls before I get in the elevator to go in with my day because I live in such a big place
I have to go on the elevator. Oh, I can't hear anything.
Well, the helicopter is gonna come pick me up here on the top of this penthouse, but I just wanted to make a call before so I can get
Oh, I can get, how are you?
So, well, I was like to give doing like a little girls lunch on Thursday and like,
I have like, I'm gonna have like a guest speaker
and like, it's like my lawyer.
It's my lawyer friend and she's gonna come
and then it cuts to the fact.
We see that she's actually having this conversation
with many of the women as she invites them
and now she's talking to Nicole and inviting her.
And Nicole's like, by the way, are we good?
So I guess they just decided that they're gonna be fine now.
And like, she's like, oh yeah.
And like I want to say, I'm like good with you.
Oh, well, you know, like, I don't want to be like in the middle
because like I'm always in the middle.
It's like with me and Peter and like the different like
prostitutes that he dates all the time, you know?
Like I'm always in the middle.
You were not just in the middle.
You were in the fight, ma'am.
But she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm good with you.
Cinnacol's like, I mean, I'm not gonna change the way she thinks.
So, what can I do?
I'm just gonna go.
Send back to Mary's Soul and Mary's Soul goes,
oh my god, you're gonna see everybody.
It sounds like a real shit-sheld, I don't mean.
Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
What are you doing over there?
I'm playing the trumpet, isn't it hilarious?
Oh, whoops, Flag just came out of it. Hey, so like I said, okay, well, you know what, I need
you there. Like, you know, I need to be like very important for me that you're there because
this lawyer is like very good. I'm just gonna talk about family law and there's gonna be a lot of
things that we're gonna talk. Hello, are you there? Oh, I knew she wasn't there. I've just been
sitting here talking to myself all this time.
You know, it's been like three hours.
So now Lars is with her friend, what's her face?
And, Zana.
Zana.
It's okay.
And I'll trust you.
And then she's doing something in the kitchen.
And no, she goes, hey, name this.
I have to take some like photos for only like fans like.
I have to like really like have moisturized legs
and like feet like, let me get a better angle.
Click, click, click, click.
Okay, I'm done.
And her friends like, um, so how much you gonna make off
of that?
She's like 40 grand, like, 40 grand.
Jesus Christ.
I've got like eighth,
eighth wonder of the world kind of feet.
Why are paying people,
why are people paying to come on my feet?
I've got two toes stuck together on each foot
and each of my feet are shaped like rectangles.
Nobody, nobody's hard right now.
Just some of the content you might see on Ronnie's TikTok.
Yeah. Yeah. Of course I would be the content you might see on Ronnie's TikTok. Yeah.
Of course I would be an idiot and do it on a free channel.
Yeah.
You should hope only, only, what was the thing
for the feet that they did on Vanderpump rules?
You know what, I already like.
That was so sad, it was that was so sad.
It's like remembering a death.
They put like spaghetti on their toes.
That was bad.
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So Larsa is like, yeah, I have to take photos.
Okay, yeah.
So my photos, those are my photos.
Yeah, you know, last year, the girls gave me a hard time for my like only fans like
account and I didn't like let it affect me because I was at the top point.
Oh, oh, oh, 1% of influencers in the verifiably tragic category.
So I like being at the top.
It's kind of like my happy place.
So then Larza is trying to open a bottle of wine
with a knife because she's Larsa.
And she's like,
well, Nicole, I had her engagement party like and then
she like and invited me to it. She had like researched me remember this girl like she said like she
really has to know people before she can let them into her house like she has to Google me. Oh my god
let it go. It's not even the season get over it and she tells, I'm just such a people pleaser. We fucking know, dude, you have an only fans, okay? You're a top earner on only
fans. You're literally the definition of people pleaser.
She is so ridiculous. She's the exact, I mean, I, she's the opposite of people
pleaser in terms of all her behavior. She goes, I took so much shit for leaving
Scotty and dealing with so many things publicly.
And I was a people pleaser because, you know, because I left Scotty Pippin, which makes
me a people pleaser.
You know, if there's one thing, you know, remember how I said that I left Scotty Pippin
because I finally wanted to do something for myself, because I'm a people pleaser.
It's like, yeah, nothing good.
You know, it's like, then, like when I leave Scotty Pippin and then like move to LA to be like,
you know, scrounging off famous people to like build a scroungy scrounger of famous people career
like. And then like I start like fucking all of their friends. I'm just like a people pleaser.
You know what I mean? Like, you know, like when my ex has been, like when his best friend used to say things
like, oh, I hope that my son someday finds the love of his life, I'm just like such
a people pleaser.
So that's why I started dating Michael Jordan's son.
Oh my god, this Michael Jordan's son think, this fucking girl.
Okay, now you said it.
Now we gotta go on the Instagram and go on the Larsa Pippin
Okay, so I've read this headline yesterday Larsa Pippin finally makes it Instagram official with Michael Jordan Sun
First of all, I'm sorry Michael Jordan Sun
I know you have a name and I know nobody in your life has ever used it. Does your father even use it?
Does he call you Michael Jordan's son?
Because that's the only thing I've ever seen so called.
Maybe Jordanson.
So I'm sorry for that first of all,
because that's terrible.
So then I have to go on the set of scenes.
I'm such a people, please do right now.
So like I go on the Instagram to like see
like what's happening like Instagram official like and they are in trophy room and they're
standing in front of a big flower display that's in behind glass. This has
Jordan number 23. It's the George Michael Jordan Jersey. That is so like
offensive and transparent that you're just using this fucking guy.
You have to go stand in front of his dad's jersey in a store to announce that you're fucking his son.
Come on, Larza.
It's...
That's some tacky shit right there. I'm sorry.
It's wild.
And of course, listen, and Kiki, love it. Lisa left two flames and a heart as her comment.
And Kiki left two hearts.
Oh, it's just nasty.
Now it's just so rude.
Gross, yeah, now I'm looking at all the likes too.
I don't like that they put all the blue checks first.
I think that's so rude.
It's like everyone else sucks,
but here's what the famous people think.
Yeah, like, uh, oh, Alexia, Alexia says, heart.
What do you know basketball? You know, so anyway, I'm a people pleaser. So then her friend,
who doesn't understand this at all, because she thought they were talking about Nicole
She doesn't get it so she goes well first of all Nicole's heard about you like she didn't have to Google you
And so Lars is like yeah, but I was just like I've heard things about you too
Like if you've heard things about me like you hooked up with doctors or whatever in a hospital like that's what I heard Mary
So I'll say it so like but that's what I heard Mary so I said it.
So like, but that's not the moral of the story.
Like, the moral is like, you want to, want to believe what everyone, everything you hear,
but like you don't want me to tell you things I've heard.
And her friends took a few, and she goes, yeah, but like the way to get to know somebody
isn't by Googling them.
She still hung up on the fact that Larza was so mad that somebody didn't know her
because she had to Google her. Well, I just still love that Larza does not understand any of
Nicole's point. You know, when she's saying like, oh, you want, you want, like, you want to believe,
believe everything you hear about me, but you don't want me to believe anything I've heard about
you. But it's like, no, she didn't say actually any of that about rumors.
She's just saying, oh, I don't know.
I barely met this person.
I don't really know this person.
Not I haven't heard of this person.
She's saying, I don't know this person as a friend.
So I'm like, not necessarily going to open the doors of my house yet.
I kind of want to like see who they are first.
That's all she's saying.
Not like, oh, I've never heard of Larissa Pippin.
She's not a famous person, she's not someone
that the world knows about, which is also true by a large.
So it's just funny that Larsa,
Larsa's just so offended because her fame,
she's interpreted that, her fame is in question.
Yes.
She's like, well, I will go below the bell.
So maybe don't talk shit about me
and I like won't say shit about you.
Because like I was like, I heard things about YouTube,
like doctors, like that's it.
And so the friend goes,
well cheers to hangry bitches.
It's just, yeah, they're hangry.
So now we go to Nicole's house
and her friend Dr. Lisa Paz comes over
and that's Nicole's friend who's also a therapist and
They're just like talking about the party and their proof that she's a really good therapist is that we've seen her before in a season
Giving therapy to remain a Joanna group bus. So yeah, I was just can we just pretend that didn't happen?
Yeah, they did that relationship did not last, but I was like, I'm just so impressed
with this show, like the show has been really good about doing call back to the first round,
you know. So they are on earth, Dr. Lisa Paz, and they're talking about Nicole's dad and everything. And Nicole, basically it's just another person telling Nicole,
it's time to get over it with your dad.
Yeah, because Nicole's mortified.
The dad shows up at the party.
He's wasted and she's like, yeah,
but what would you do if that was someone else's dad?
Who is wasted?
She's like party with him.
And then the therapist is like, yeah, exactly. So you need
to get over it. No, no, I'm the same way. Listen, I don't want my parents showing up and
acting like asses and getting wasted all over. But if your parents did, I would think it's
hilarious. Why should my be different when it's my own family? I disagree with this therapist.
So well, their coals basically, she's like,
I want to let him in. And like, I want to accept him for who he is, which is like, sort
of a smaller version of somehow like a mix between James Garner and Ian Holm. You know,
I want to be able to embrace that. But I don't know how to get let go 30 years of frustration,
at least it's like, um, so when do you say I'm running a script
that may not be as present as how he's doing today?
Does he get judged on Saturday?
Because it did a good job on Saturday.
He only made about five people I'm comfortable,
as opposed to about 25.
Fuck that advice.
This guy keeps writing the script.
This is not one of those things where her annoyance
just keeps spinning out of control
because it's a pattern the guy keeps doing shit
Like I just showed up her house at Thanksgiving last year to cook a turkey and then go bang some young chick like let's not pretend that this is all in her head
I hate that part of therapy when I like this is something you need to let go no my dad needs to stop using me for turkey cooking
She just needs to buy her dad a turkey roaster. That's
what she needs to do. I love that this is now about the girlfriend, right? Because the dad has a
girlfriend and Nicole explains to us. She's like, my dad loves to date women, young women,
and he doesn't pick the good ones. He likes the crazy ones that will burn the house down.
So now the therapist is like, yeah, you know what?
You do need to forget about it and you need to make an effort with your dad.
And you need to think about seeing the girlfriend too.
I was like, whoa, get out of my house.
You Joanna Romain killer.
Go.
Joana Romain killer.
And I did love that when they showed that flashback of her treating Joanna and Romain,
when she gives them some advice
and it cuts to the two of them staring at her like,
huh?
It's like, this is what happens
when two beautiful people go into therapy.
They're very confused.
So now we go to other Lisa, not Dr. Lisa Paz,
but Lisa Hoxine in glam.
And she's hugging her daughter and she's like,
oh, this is a nice moment of Lisa being a mom.
And then she's like, hey, you wanted some green juice.
She loves to eat and drink just like her mommy.
I was like, mm.
Mm.
I'm not sure I've seen too much evidence of that.
Also, I feel like every time they show Lisa with the kids,
it's like they just let the kids out of a room, you know?
Because she's getting her makeup done by the crew.
You know, she's got like her whole crew there, a glam team.
And then the kid just runs, it's like they're like,
okay, you can go in, you've got two minutes.
It's like mommy, it's like, oh, I can't be here.
Want to taste mommy's green juice?
Okay, take her.
Take her.
I know.
Let's talk about Judaism and while we do that,
please enjoy the thing that children love the most.
Green juice.
Let's talk about the new religion I want to introduce
you children to.
Go to pettiasum.
Okay.
Okay.
So then we see Julia and Adriana Face Timing and Adriana is, she's, she's excited because
she's going to bring Terry's divorce papers to this luncheon so she can get, find that
once and for all, if the divorce papers are truly real, she's going to ask the lawyer
of this.
She's going to shove those papers in her face.
I'm gonna shove those papers in the lawyer's face. I was like, wow, I don't know that's
how we need to enter a lunch. Also, Julia, is there a cat eating food out of your bathtub?
What the fuck is going on in this house?
I don't know. Are you gonna skip over the cat eating food out of a bathtub? What's happening?
Julia's house is starting to look like 12 monkeys a little bit.
Remember, in 12 monkeys, all the animals
get leased over Philadelphia to take over.
That's what her house looks like.
Uh, so Gerdy is talking to Nicole
about how they're gonna, whatever.
They're like, oh my God, I'm not gonna be able to go
because I'm so busy.
I'm gonna be in the Cayman Islands
and you know what, I told my son,
it has to be Sunday because you know what? I'm in the Cayman Islands. So now we're gonna do it Sunday. Oh my God, I'm not going to be able to go because I'm so busy. I'm going to be in the Cayman Islands and you know what I told my son. It has to be Sunday because you know what?
I'm in the Cayman Islands.
So now we're going to do it Sunday.
Oh my God.
I hope it's okay.
Oh my God.
I hope I have time to do it Sunday.
What's the race?
Is charista game that you put an iPad on your head because I tried to play that the other
day with somebody in the office and they call me stupid.
So I got to go back.
I'm on a diplomatic mission to bring charista to the Cayman Islands.
So so Lexia is setting a table and Marisol comes in and she goes, hey bro, I'm really
hungry. Which means I need a cocktail. That's what I'm talking about. I don't need
a drink.
Cackies.
This wine bucket is only vocabulary. I want to talk about drinking I'm Mary's song I'm
any proof don't you forget it are you tap dancing don't tap
dance in here I'm sorry it's exciting prop are you sparklers don't like
anything in here either we don't know this place so Alexia's like well you you know, like, all of us have been married and divorced in this group
and like, all of us have been like giving Lisa advice, but like, we may not be giving
a good advice, maybe giving her bad information. I don't know.
This is montage of them being like, burn the house down!
Find us, dig and beat them over the head.
This was so good when they were just showing
all the advice that they were giving.
You put the key in the lock, and if he's changed the lock,
then pull the key off of the grenade,
and then throw the grenade in a window,
and then close your ears.
It's like, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Call 911 and say there's a bomb.
See what happens.
Higher children, higher children to kill him.
No one will ever suspect children.
So, well, wait a minute, guys.
What about dolphins? I hear they're very smart.
And they do an assassination.
I say dolphins, both the football players and the ones in the bay.
So she's like, oh, and then, you know, just like the same situation that she's in, I had like,
with Adriana, I like the divorce papers. So like, I looked it up on Miami day.com. And and it calls like,
yeah, I'm glad you looked it up. up, because maybe there's an explanation or something.
Like, maybe it's not a lie.
She says, oh, I already got the explanation
and what I didn't do.
We didn't go all the way to the bottom.
Yeah.
The guy is divorced.
I nearly fell off my sofa.
Ah.
Ah.
She didn't scroll to the bottom of the page.
She got a screenshot from whoever, probably Johnny, and just didn't, she'd bother, she'd
never bothered to look it up herself.
She'd never scroll down to find more updates.
That is absolutely golden.
So, I'm sorry.
I'm out of the, the matter of times that she says Miami Miami day.gov on this show is so hilarious to I went to Miami day.gov
I didn't scroll I didn't scroll and Mary so goes oh my god
Well the worst and Nicole because like oh my god
You didn't scroll down to the bottom of the screen. I mean you got to feel a little bit like an idiot right
And then they just cut to Larsa walking in.
Oh, classic, so spastic.
I also, I love how Larsa, I'm sorry,
Alexia says it, like it's a big twist.
Not like, oh my god, I'm so stupid, just guess what?
He is divorced.
Yeah, he is.
I scrolled this time.
He's divorced.
He's divorced.
So then Alexia's like, oh hi, Larsa.
Oh, Larsa, I love how you post today with your jewelry line.
And Larsa just kind of waves it in the call.
And she says, yeah, it was like, Tainty likes stuff today.
Just, yeah, that's what people like and where.
So it's like the other night Adrian is date, you know?
Like I was such an asshole.
So God, you make everything about what you want to talk about.
Oh my God, I loved your dainty jewelry because
it's like the other night when Adriana's little man was like rude to people. I wish I could have
like scrolled down on him. So then Julia walks in and she hears them talking about this and she
says, I would rather have in the beginning when I walk in somewhere, hey, would you like to have drink? He has got to take
care of, child to love. But instead, I'm hearing Adriana's date was a big asshole.
So then Adriana walks in just looking like a robot. I mean, I don't know, I don't know if she
had a little Sandy before she got here, but her eyes aren't moving, but her body is, it's really
weird. I don't know how to explain it. So then Alexi is like, okay, let's go,
let's go have some lunch.
So they go in and Larsa's like, guys,
I've gained like 10 pounds, like,
every time Lisa calls me it's bad news, like I eat,
like, and I was like, Preston,
is it like harder, like for her kids,
or for like, you're, for my kids, like divorce,
because like, is it like old kids or like kids of Michael Jordan?
Like who's harder for?
And they were like, it's easier for the babies
because they don't have like social media like.
Yeah.
So Julia's like, well, my daughters were mocked
because they have moms who are lesbians
and French people will be like,
Bozure, lesbians and French people will be like, Bonjour lesbians.
So I walked to Martina and I give a biggest French kiss
in the middle of Eiffel Tower Paris, fuck them.
Oh yeah, speaking about that,
I know how you feel about women.
So Saturday night at Nicole's party,
we had a man in the group that was disrespecting me.
I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is like, how do you take gay bashing? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, well, I know that was likeing me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is like, how do you take gay bashing?
Oh, well, I know that was like traumatizing the way
that French people throw back at you head
for being a lesbian.
So it's like me being at Nicole's party.
She takes.
She's like, oh my God, that hate crime.
That was like when that guy yelled at me
because I lied about him not being divorced.
And Alexia is so funny because she tries to sell it
by nodding a lot.
That's like one thing you can't see,
but like when we recap like this,
but like, she'll just like nod and point,
like, oh yeah, like exactly.
It's the exact same thing, totally, totally.
Like, it's like, oh my God, like when you're in K-Bash,
that totally reminds me of the time
when I just got gassed this afternoon
and they raised prices, like that's ridiculous, right?
Yeah, she's like, he was disrespecting me.
And she was like, how?
Because I was sitting next to him
and I think he was being very quiet and polite.
And Mary so goes, oh, you always have a glimmer of hope
that these gathering of soul ghosts will blame it.
Then it's like, no, you asshole.
Of course it's not.
Another brick on the wall.
Mary so you don't need to literally carry around a brick.
She's doing lounge version of Pink Floyd.
Oh no, it's just another brick.
In the wall, am I right everyone?
We don't need no education.
Hit it boys.
And actually this one, she's wearing that, that,
the chicken, bizarre white dress, that chicken.
She's like, five-point leg horn.
Okay. wearing that, that the chicken bizarre white dress that chicken like horn.
I say, I say, I say, we don't need another brick in the wall, kids, but she's also got like two claws. Did you notice that to you? Did you already mention that?
She's got two finger things that are really, they look like, um,
corn, bugles, They look like bugles.
But like a hot barbecue bugle.
Yeah, but they're gold.
And they're really, really long since he's got him on two fingers.
What a fucking weirdo.
Commissions.
Here comes one right now.
So Alexi goes, yeah, he said I would give her papers if she could read.
So you heard that comment then, right Julia?
And Adriana goes, cause it was dark and we're over 50 so the vision's not the same.
She goes, no, that was not the place for the time.
And the point you walked in at, oh hi, Kiki, hi.
Okay. But anyways, all I heard was was I don't know how to read and the fact that I've been
spreading rumors that he's a married man and Adrienne goes you did you did
though you spread the rumors you did you did you did oh well like how was I
spreading a rumor like telling you like by telling you how was I spreading a
rumor by telling you literally a definition of spreading a rumor you had information that you talked to someone else
about yeah and she goes oh my god oh I did I did I did what is this what is
that mean I spread a rumor so then Adriana goes you should apologize for the
slander and Alexia's like me apologize never gonna happen for what is never
gonna happen slander slander you know Kiki and then kiki's like doing the sign of the cross. She's like my god
But I said every time I walk in this is happening you know kiki's like I should have gone to Burger King
So it's like now it's like I'm talking to a bully now
So then now Lisa arrives and everybody's just yelling and squawking at each other
And everybody's just yelling and squawking at each other. It's just like
And Alexis like well first of all like okay, oh well, I don't say I'm sorry for what I did I'm like not sorry for because by the way, I know he's not married. I found out that afterwards
So yep, she says that is she's
She says that like she just made the floor. Yeah, by the way, and I found out afterwards. He's not married
I don't know if you know that but he's not married because I found out afterwards. You have to go all the way down and we did it
So Adriana's like what and she goes yeah, it turned out you have to go all the way down and we didn't do it
So then we did it and now we know and it's
You did it scroll down enough? Oh my God.
It's just the way that Alexa holds onto it,
like without any sort of apologetic tone of like,
oh my bad, it's like, oh no, guess what?
I, well, you're saying this thing,
but guess what?
I on earth a deep secret.
And so now, yeah, well, I on earth, a deep secret.
And so, yeah, well, I'm wrong.
So, will you be there that, bitch?
So, it's like, he was not nice to be accused of dating a married man, because he's not
married.
It was not nice for you to accuse him of being married when he's not, and it was not
nice of you to go digging through his records when it was none of your baseness.
And then Alexi is just shaking her head now.
Like no, no, no.
And it goes like, guys, you need to stop because we're like a group of friends, but we can
all agree that intent is what matters.
Because like what was done wasn't great, but the intent was in that and it didn't matter.
So the Adriana says, I agree.
Yeah.
And that's our problem, Larsa.
I was like, oh my God.
You're good.
I would like to air my grievances.
Also, haven't we, isn't this the thing that we've been hearing?
Like isn't Nicole saying the exact opposite of what we've been hearing the past few years
of like how we should be approaching things of impact over intention, that like you can
intend to do the nicest thing, but what was your actual impact?
And then it goes like, no, intention over impact.
Intention over impact guys.
So yeah, so now she's like, and Larsa, I think honestly, that's what our problem is.
Because you made a statement in public with people that we don't know.
And you have zero evidence to support this malicious, malicious statement. It's salacious, which is different than malicious, but it sounds like malicious
and it's slanderous. And your intent by that statement was to embarrass me.
And like to just now on, it's like to show you like, I don't judge you. Like I found out you
would like the biggest slut in town. And I didn't I didn't judge you for it. She's, oh yeah,
then what was your intent? And she's like, then let me tell you then, because I didn't I didn't judge you for it. She's oh yeah, then what was your intent? And she's like then let me tell you then because I can't get loud cheer look I just got
loud look and she's one. Hey, is it weird? What's weirder for a mom of grown kids to get
loud or for a mom of little kids to get loud? Or for the girlfriend of Michael Jordan sent to get loud, which is the weirdest.
So, yeah, Nicole's like, I didn't personally attack you, Larsa. And Larsa's like,
but you personally attacked me. I told you a rumor I heard. She has a DM. I heard
people. I have DMs. I have DMs. I have DMs. I have DMs. I have DMs. And Nicole's like,
DMs don't mean whatever. And so now the lawyers come in, okay?
And they're all screaming at each other.
All you hear is,
bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
So Laura says, like, I'm not showing you,
I'm not showing you anything then.
And she goes, okay, well, show me them
because you don't have fucking shit near DMs.
And so Adriana dings the glasses
and she goes, we have guests in the house, we haaaaaaay.
And Kiki goes, if I was the lawyer in this group of bitches, I would say, harder in my
court or I'm taking all these bitches to jail.
Can he do that?
Kiki's like very scared of lawyers now.
I'm just gonna send her to jail.
I fucking love her.
And it makes me wonder if they cut out a lot of
Kiki diary room stuff last year,
because Kiki really shines in the diary room.
Kiki is wonderful.
Yeah.
So Alexa's like, oh well, you know, this is Jamie Altman
and this is Michael Altman and they do family law
and like they're here to bring some peace.
So let's try to break them as best we can.
Okay, everyone, start.
So Julie is like, I'm so jealous. Yeah, sorry, I just scrolled down. So Julie's try to break them as best we can. Okay, everyone, start. So Julie, yeah, sorry, I just scrolled down.
So Julie's like,
Yes, can I ask question?
All of you scroll down, congratulations.
I know, I learned it from the show, you know?
So like it doesn't end in the middle.
I was like, bye everybody.
Thank you for listening to, you know,
watch for crappings, but.
I know, I thought only like five things happened
on this episode, but you know what, if you scroll,
there's like more
So Julia's like can I ask question if are
If this don't say gay bill pass how difficult is it for gay couple to adopt child? And he's like as far as I'm aware there's no problem whatsoever because no one said their gay Kessel was working
But what about Gilt?
Is the goat gay?
Perhaps.
Well, unfortunately, we cannot do that.
So um, Lars is like, Julia, are we adopting and Alexia goes like,
oh, well, you're feeling empty nest, right?
Like girls left your feeling empty nest, you know, like that's why you get big dog,
you know, and like Dina Manoff, the Christie McNeco movie on with you. You're feeling empty-nest, right? Like girls left your feeling empty-nest, you know? Like that's why you get big dog, you know? And like, Dina Manaff, a Christie McNichol movie on
with you, you're feeling empty-nest, huh? I guess. Yeah, and Julie is like, well, it was just so crazy
at lunch, just fighting. I don't want to share something so happy and positive right now. Like,
then why don't you bring it up? So then, Adriana is like, okay, can I ask one now?
Because even though I was just vindicated, I want to say it again
because I planned on shoving these papers in a face.
So, can you tell me if this divorce is indeed filed?
And she does shove it right in her face.
And Alexis is like, I already said it was.
I scrolled, okay?
This is a very important man.
He was in Tootsie.
Alexia, this is not Sydney Pollock. This is your lawyer.
Adriana is just determined to have this moment with the lawyer. So he's like, yeah, yeah, she was right. Right. I told you, right.
And he says, he says the judge signed off on this in December 19th, 2019. And everyone applauds. Everyone claps.
And I was like, whoo, saddle, nothing else can go for Alexi as she still pissed. Oh, yeah, well, he's still a disrespect for
asshole, just so you know. So Adirana is like upset that Alexa can't even muster
no apology. So then Nicole's like, okay, well, since we're like airing personal grievances to you,
judge lawyer, I want to ask a question about defamation of character specifically how it relates to professionals who is having
slanderous comments that are salacious
potentially malicious and then
About to be a professional setting by the way and apparently a professional setting includes going to
the opening of a pocket bookstore and
Alexi it tells us you're married to an attorney, bro.
Are you trying to start a fight?
You're trying to make this about you.
And so she goes, you know what?
You have the wrong kind of attorney.
And then Quo goes, you didn't go to law school
so you should stop talking.
And she goes, no, you're not that smart.
You're not that smart.
Listen, ask your husband about defamation of character then.
You have the wrong field, bro.
So Michael's like, so Frankie meanwhile comes out of his room, right?
And he's just standing on the stairs watching them scream at each other and they just start
making the talking motion with his hand and looking around at the crew and he goes, they're
so loud.
So then Michael's like, okay, ladies, maybe we need a time and Marisol's like, well, she's paying for his time.
That's a dumbass question.
Why would you ask that question when he's on the clock and Nicole goes, oh, I am sorry, sir.
How much money do you charge for an hour?
Like as if he's like a prostitute or something like that.
So he's laughing because he's awkward.
He doesn't want to talk about finances on TV. then like that. You know, so he's like laughing, because he's awkward.
He doesn't want to talk about finances on TV.
Yeah, and Alexia goes,
what is like five or seven hundred an hour
and I'm not gonna waste it with stupidity.
So Nicole runs for her purse and she grabs the card out of it
and they're like, sit down, sit down Nicole.
And she's, she like throws the card at the lawyer
and she's like, there.
And Alexia goes, is oh my god sit down
Marisol's like oh my god talk about
Novela moment. I was in a novella moment
Slow motion Nicole grabbing that credit card tossing it in slow motion
Can you still hear me through this thing? Nicole grabbing that credit card tossing it in slow motion.
Can you still hear me through this thing?
Yes, football helmets are open on the front Mary saw.
What's that fervor as if she was going to get an Olympic gold?
That's a Nestle Crunch bar Mary saw.
I'll just go with me. Just go with me.
bar Mary Saul. I'll just go with me. I just like that Nicole gave this lawyer a her credit card as if like the lawyer is carrying around the square reader or something like that.
So funny. Like, no one even cares about pretending to respect. And she has answered the question,
I'm happy to pay for your time. And Nicole's like, what are they mad that I'm offered to pay? Or
is it the fact that I have a black A-mex? Are you mad that I have a black A-mex and you don't?
Yeah, it's a black A-mex. It's not an A-mex, it's an A-mex. So Lars is like, well, lawyer,
like your honor lawyer. If you hear a rumor and you say it while you talk to someone is that
Defamation and if you're holding a mirror when that happens because someone gave you a mirror is that defamation to and so it's like well
Ornerly not or nearly not did you hear that or nearly not?
Yeah, or nearly not did you hear it? He said or nearly not like well
It's defamation is a whole different ball game entirely
and it depends.
Ball game.
Oh, is that like basketball game?
Because I'm dating Michael Jordanson.
Yeah, no.
It depends on this type of statement that was made.
And if it's slanted, it's just,
it's, we don't do this.
It's a different, different practice than us.
Yeah, and Mary Sol just claps her hands and stands
and she goes, the other night at your party, right? You said she needs to prove it or
apologize Nicole, right? And I got a DM a while ago. And so I'm a
drama's like, oh my God, of course Mary Sol has to prove everyone knows you
spread gossip Mary Sol, even the Pope knows. The pups like God.
That why no I stopped talking to her years ago.
So Nicole's like, Larsa, like Larsa could have like DMed you under like a fake account.
Please, this means like nothing.
Yeah.
And so Larsa's like, but I wouldn't my friend.
I like you. I have a business and a lot going on.
And then Nicole just starts cracking up with Adriana.
They're like, oh my God, please. It's like you're talking to someone like with an actual career
you know yeah and so Nicole's like yeah Larson's their board sending DMs board
foul she was I wasn't there I wasn't there with some rumor like just oh yeah Nicole slept
with every doctor at the hospital that's a rumor she was okay whatever Nicole
Slip with every doctor at the hospital. That's a rumor. She was okay. Whatever Nicole
Whatever I'm gonna start banging a table to quiet everyone down. It's like it's Bedlam and Nicole So you know what I should you know what I should play a little violin. I know what I'm gonna play it for you
And the guys like okay guys, let's get back on track and Diana goes user will now show evidence exhibit a and so Mary
Sohansa function a call and Nicole reads it. I have heard from friends with
work that Nicole slept with a resident while she was married, which is why she
was separated
can because you can't be married and separated at the same time. And Mary so goes, yeah,
on the point was we knew that and no one judged you for it. So, Nicole, and we didn't judge you for
the fact that your miniature violin went dunka, dunk dunk, dunk, instead of like a proper miniature violin.
Well, that's not fair because you have an actual violin.
Oh, well, you know, she's violent.
That's what she's saying right now.
She's such a violent.
So Nicole, then now Nicole's mad that Marisol was sitting on this DM for months and didn't
bring it up and that she was keeping it in her back pocket to use
Against her so now Nicole's mad about that and then she basically says guys we were together for 12
years and we separated and during our time of separation I had a real relationship we got no not
with a goat I'm sorry I ask this is against law don't say good I forgot law this is against law. Don't say good. I forgot law.
This lawyer will put you in prison. Be careful.
Oh, thank you, Kiki.
So on the call, it's like, yeah, I mean, it happens.
You know, we were too concentrating on dolls living our best lives.
Like, why is it that you guys get to turn this into something scandalous?
I feel like every time I'm with you you I need to be read my Miranda rights.
Like seriously, I feel like anything I say or do can be held against me in this group of friends.
And why don't we kind of stop listening to Mary Soul guys?
She's drunk after time. She's not an accurate source.
Yeah. So uh...
You guys...
You guys are for proof.
That wasn't proof!
And Larsa, your comment was you have slept with everyone in the hospital.
So where did that come from?
Whatever bro, whatever dude, whatever, whatever like, like whatever like.
It's so embarrassing.
It's so embarrassing.
You should have the fuck up, shut the fuck up.
Okay, otherwise I'm going to spill green juice in all your faces.
Stop talking to Loya, I actually need advice.
All right, I have a question for the lawyer.
Okay, you imagine the general lawyer, Postmate,
governor, just a general question about my friend,
Shmisa and her friend Jenny.
What would happen if the wife and the husband
didn't want the new person who
has entered the chat around their children?
So he's like, oh, well, you want to keep the kids out of their relationship as much as possible.
We always tell our clients, you discretion, don't go somewhere when you know your spouse
is going to be there with someone else.
At least it's looking away.
They all start laughing because Lisa's totally not out already.
I definitely did not go to a club during F1 when all my friends said don't go out during
F1 because Lenny's gonna be out.
And the lawyer's like, because Sally could find herself in a bad situation.
She goes, yeah, but what about Harry?
What about what he's doing?
And he goes, well, Harry's not using discretion, obviously.
And Murray so goes, oh my god,
actually, I have a friend named Sally too. I want to ask about Sally. They show Lisa's
face, but it's all blurred out. And it's Marisol's friend Lisa, Sally. And so Marisol's
like, well, my friend Sally has lots of beautiful jewelry
and handbags, I'm worried that Harry is gonna take them away
from her and give them to slut face.
And the lawyer's like, well, you know,
you need to go through an inventory, everything.
And Laura says, Laura says like,
yeah, inventory like is like, can I ask you a question?
Cause I have like, out of situations where like,
a guy wants to buy a home for the ex
and like put it in a trust,
but like does that mean the guy will buy a nicer house purchase?
If like he knows it's gonna go into a kid's trust,
like for children instead of adults.
And like, how old does the kid have to be
before the trust like actually comes through to him?
Like, can he be be 32 or something?
So then the lady lawyer is like, yeah, well, sometimes,
yes, we do find that with clients.
That's like a, that does help a bit.
And like she says, oh, so would you advise women
to be more open to that idea?
Like more being more open to, you know, hint, hint, Lisa,
take the house while you're being offered the house.
Ha, ha, hint, hint, Lisa. And she's like, well, it depends.
Like we'll limit the wife's ability to live there. Like if she has someone else with her.
And of course, like, right, he doesn't want to pay for you to live with Bob.
Mary's also like, but to leave the domestic homestead. And the guy is like, well,
first of all, she doesn't have to leave unless there's a violence or an injunction or unless the
other party goes for
Exclusive use something like that, but the problem is is that the prenup there is it actually states in the prenup
And I know this from the Pravadaqa that if you if they get divorced for whatever reason no matter whose fault
It is that she needs to leave the house within. I think it's 10 days.
I mean, it's crazy.
I can't believe she ever signed that.
But the other argument is that they didn't have kids
at that time.
So none of this really accounted for the kids.
So who knows how it's gonna work out in the end,
but that is why he's trying to get her out.
He's like, listen, it's in the prenup,
you signed it, get the fuck out, right?
Mm. So, um, at least it's like, I mean, it's in the prenup you signed it get the fuck out, right?
So um, at least it's like, I mean it takes such a long time and I could stay there until all this is solved, right? And he's like, well, yeah, you know, she's like, but this could all take so long. And um, he's like, oh,
we still doing the Sally Harry thing or really finally dropping that
the Sally Harry thing or really finally dropping that. He goes, you might not even get a trial date till next year and she's like, yeah, without a trial date, both people could just have
to be in the same house. Oh, God. And Marisol's like, listen, everything's going to be great.
You have amazing friends, the lot of power and connections outside of Nicole. And you have
the best therapist. Okay, we've all been there in a different way. And then Nicole tries to give this spin, like,
yeah, because like, that's what this is about,
because for the past 30 minutes, we haven't argued.
We've rallied support for you Lisa.
We spent 30 minutes not arguing for you.
I mean, that's magic.
Oh, so now are you going to apologize to me
for calling me a lyrelexia?
She goes, I'm not apologizing.
This is like, oh, for fuck's sake, I'm leaving.
That's it. Yeah. to me for calling me a liar Alexia she goes I'm not apologizing Lisa's like oh for fuck's
sick I'm leaving yeah she was like I need to change my bandage for when I was
beaten by chicken goat okay so that's the other party it just um that scene was
complete fucking crazy town and I love that so now we go over to Lisa's and Lisa is, you know, the kids are fighting and she's trying
to get them to stop and Elle wants a toy and of course it's another fucking gun of
Logan's.
I mean the kid has a fucking entire weapons cash over there.
So they're fighting over the gun and Elle's in the wrong so she gets, you know, sent to
a timeout.
But meanwhile Lisa is trying to talk
to the mother and mom arena and Lenny's coming home now and so she just stands casually
by the couch watching him through the glass door walking in and just pretending she's not
watching him but she totally is and he just walks right by her.
Yeah he just like walks in the house and walks directly upstairs and Lisa says like
ever since Lenny served to voice papers,
Lenny has not been sleeping in the house.
He'll come back to work, he'll do a workout,
and then do like a flashback to two seconds ago,
and watch, but now it's like Lenny walking through the foyer,
but now it's black and white and slow motion, like,
dun, dun, dun.
So she goes upstairs, and she's talking about
how the kids are acting out, because her daughter,
like she winds up whacking Lisa
on the cheek with like this green toy or whatever.
And so Lisa's saying how like the kids are picking up on it,
like the older kid is asking questions,
the younger kid doesn't know what's going on,
but she's picking up on anxiety.
So she is basically saying things are going bad.
So she goes upstairs to Lenny and she asks Lenny about,
like if he brought home checks from the office
and he's just like a huge dick about it.
He has like what checks?
And she says for the Nanny and he's like,
you told me that after I left the office
and she's, well I'm right now, they're filming.
So just you know, I mean, what are you gonna give me a hello?
Cause now the camera, well, he's like, look, I mean, what are you gonna give me a hello? Because now the camera
Well, he's like look I have cash I can give you Lisa and then he just looks at the cameras that comes in the room
And just what what because yeah, I don't want to really be on film right now Lisa, okay?
But if you tell me there's an anecdote stairs, I have enough to pay her if we need to and the cameras back that but we can still hear them on
mics
Yeah, and she's like why wouldn't she say hi to me? He goes, I don't wanna say hi to you.
I don't, I don't want to talk to you.
I've nothing to say to you.
She's like, you gotta be rude like that.
You gotta be mean.
He goes, I got nothing to say to you.
She's like, you're being so cold.
This is a relationship you wanna have.
He's like, please leave.
Oh God.
And he goes, no, this is a relationship you wanna have.
She's like, oh yeah, what kind of relationship is that?
And he goes, you won't cooperate.
Who's advising you?
Okay.
The whole point is me trying to give you more than what you're entitled to, Lisa.
When someone does that, you don't fight with them.
You try to be more accommodating.
And she's like, I don't understand the disrespect.
I'm the mother of your children.
And he goes after our conversation today, no.
If you want the court to tell you everything, fine.
They can tell you.
And she's like, but you're trying to tell me to leave the house immediately. And he's like, I know you're not going to leave voluntarily. And so I know you're, he says, I know you're going
to have to be told to leave. And I already know that the difference is that now I would be trying to,
like, the difference is now I would be trying to prepare someplace so that you could have a place to go when that happens.
Do you get that?
Do you get that?
Do you understand it or not?
So she's like, and she just like walks out and leads the room.
So that's where the episode ends, which is that Lenny is just a piece of shit, like a
big piece of shit.
Yeah, this marriage is fucking crazy.
Yeah, it's crazy.
So that was that episode, really fun episode
until that part, but you know, it's gotta happen.
It's gotta happen sometimes.
But really great episode overall.
I'm so excited to do this next episode live next Thursday night
here in Austin, Texas.
Then the next night Friday is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City in Dallas.
Get your tickets if you're a Texan.
And do not forget to go follow us on TikTok if you're a TikTok kind of
gallor guy, okay? Join us.
Yeah, thanks everyone. We'll talk to you next time.
Bye. Watch what crap ends. we'll talk to you next time. Bye!
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